#so i'm like ? what's the truth
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i'm one hundred percent certain that after percy and annabeth made out underwater. and he wanted to make their relationship official. the question was not "will you be my girlfriend?" but "can i be your boyfriend?" i don't care what the canon says. percy gave annabeth the space to take the lead in the relationship. because after a lifetime of being abandoned by everyone she dared to care for. and then watching her on the brink of a panic attack at the thought of losing him the last four years. he wanted to honor a new beginning between them by follow her lead and moving at her pace.
#i will not accept another answer#(i'm easily persuaded)#i don't care what the canon says#(unless it was exactly this in which case that was good story writing)#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#percabeth headcanon#percabeth fluff#percabeth cute#percabeth romantic#percabeth rant#but in all seriousness#he for sure did this#not bc annabeth is a controlling partner like percabeth-opposers claim she is#but bc she is a girl who experiences love the same way the moon feeds off the suns reflection#never knowing truth warmth#only it's echo#and percy intends to make her feel like she's his entire world#like she's the reason the sun shines so brightly#so fuck off
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Bingqiu AU where Luo Binghe's the chosen village sacrifice to the evil deity who lives up the mountain.
Normally the village sends maidens, but they've more or less run out of expendable girls of the right age and, ahem, "virtues". So of course Luo Binghe's early life bad luck kicks in. In the wake of his mother's death there's no one to really care about what happens to him, he's fairly pretty, and the village leaders decide that if they dress him up like a girl the teenaged homeless kid should pass well enough. And hey, y'know, he's probably got a hard life ahead for him anyway -- dying in a brothel of some venereal disease or on the streets of exposure or starvation. At least as a sacrifice, everyone else gets to benefit from his loss! And the kid will get added to a shrine and be remembered as a hero! If anything, he should be happy about this!
Binghe is not happy about this.
But he's also a skinny underfed nobody who is easily overpowered, dressed up like a bride, and tied to a post. So. Not much he can do but wait for the evil deity to come and do whatever horrible thing he's gonna do to him.
Meanwhile, Shen Yuan is pretty sure he's been isekai'd into the over-powered hero of some kind of supernatural adventure story? He's not totally sure because he doesn't recognize the setting, but the signs are there. He's got a shrine-like base of operations (though it seems to have become corrupted/ruined, probably he has to restore it somehow), he has a very resilient and handsome new body with spiritual energy of some kind flowing through him, and a very clearly magical sword. Plus lots of neat starter powers! Though it feels like he has other abilities that have been blocked somehow? Probably he has to level up in order to access them.
When he treks out of his "base" and finds what seems to be a distressed maiden, he takes it for his beginner hero mission. The girl claims that she's been doomed to be sacrificed to an evil god. That sounds a little above Shen Yuan's pay grade for dealing with, so he unties her and decides that they had better just get out of the whole region altogether. He already packed up anything useful from his base, anticipating he might get caught up in an adventure once he left, so they follow the river away from the settlement until they reach another one.
While they travel, Luo Binghe tells Shen Yuan about the cursed deity, Shen Qingqiu, who was cast out of the heavens for slaughtering one of his brethren and has apparently being do-who-knows what to maidens from the local village in exchange for his "protection" ever since. Sounds like a real asshole! And also mid-level boss type bad guy at least. Shen Yuan hopes he doesn't have to fight him, but he probably will.
Thank goodness he found Binghe, though! Clearly the helpful little sister type! He's definitely going to require her assistance if he's going to figure out how to navigate this world and level up his skills enough to take on a god.
#svsss#bingqiu#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#luo binghe: I don't know why the evil deity toys with me this much but as long as he is amused then he's not killing me#luo binghe: each day he lets me live is another blessing especially since I have no hope of escape#luo binghe: is it for some sick amusement that he drags me to and from the dens of monsters and feigns ignorance?#luo binghe: if I reveal that I know the truth will the ruse end? does he do this with all his sacrifices?#luo binghe: or is he toying with me because he knows that I'm not really a maiden at all? standing on this knife's edge is unbearable#luo binghe: and yet somehow this is the most stable my life has been ever since the death of my poor mother#luo binghe: the world is cruel -- perhaps if I become whatever it is this god desires I might be shielded from more of it for another day#luo binghe: wait I have heavenly demon blood? then... perhaps my dark master considers me a suitable companion thanks to this?#luo binghe: are we two companions in this wretched world? outsiders sharing scorn and thus only able to find solace in each other?#luo binghe: is this what it feels like to care and be cared for? it's been so long I had almost completely forgotten it#shen yuan: gosh these upgrades are getting convoluted I wish I had a skill menu or something#shen yuan: oooh neat a slime! easy exp!
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the most romantic thing about the solas romance is how much love there is for lavellan in the act of breaking up with her.
solas breaks up with lavellan because it is objectively what is best for her. not because it's what he wants. not because his mission is just more important than she is. because he loves her.
it is in lavellan's best interests that she know who she falls in love with and has agency in that decision. solas breaks up with her because he is not entirely truthful about who he is. she can't make an informed choice about being with him without the truth. and because solas isn't ready to tell her the truth, he backs off.
whether we like it or not, fen'harel is part of who solas is, even if solas is part of his genuine character, the face he shows us in DAI is not all of him.
what is so sexy about solas showing his love for her in this way is he sees the clear power imbalance between them (him with all his secrets), and he chooses her well being over his desires, he puts the power back in her hands - by breaking up with her. he says, "it isn't right of me to continue with this when you don't actually know me". only his reveal in trespasser opens the door for her to accept him, or deny him.
ultimately, it is up to lavellan to decide what is in her best interests. does she accept solas, now knowing the truth, or does she say "wow yeah i actually can't live with that" and walk away?
#sigh#imo lavellan really falls in love with solas during trespasser#we project our love for solas onto lavellan rather than seeing how a truth reveal like that would impact a real relationship#especially considering she's dalish and he's one of her fxcking gods#the way this story mirrors pride and prejudice in how bad solas has it for lavellan the whole time while she's like “:))?? ur so cute ily”#again i'm not saying she doesn't really love him but that SHE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW HIM#solas falls completely in love w who she is and what she is doing in the world and he can't give that back to her unless she knows#anyways love is a choice/ action not a compulsion and lavellan needs to be able to have that choice#it would go completely against solas's freedom-and-agency-loving character to deny her that choice#it's high romance#solavellan#solas posting#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#dragon age the veilguard#solas#dai#datv#bioware#lavellan#solas dragon age#solavellan hell#dread wolf#solasmance#solas romance#solas x inquisitor#solas dai#dragon age solas#solas x female lavellan#dragon age trespasser
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YELLOWJACKETS
#I've wanted to make this for a long time and it's nothing at all like what I set out to do#I was going to have Laura Lee's doomed flight and Jackie's death and praying to the gods of the dirt and the girls running w weapons raised#lottie screaming as they board the rescue plane#in short: a horror story#and instead I ended up with an SOS in red lipstick#the living holding hands around the dead they are all doomed to become#the team doing their best to feed themselves on their limited knowledge and looking out for each other#even the girl they don't really like#the group finding hope in lottie's faith passed to her by laura lee#and ofc the horrible spectacle they become in the media#I guess what I'm trying to say is I set out to paint Shauna as a liar but she's telling the truth#that IS the end of the story#it was beautiful and horrible#and it was a love story#yellowjackets#yellowjacketsedit#shauna shipman#lottie matthews#misty quigley#laura lee#taissa turner#akilah yellowjackets#flashing gif
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WILLOW l S01E05 - “Wildwood”
Jade… all I care about is you. And if you wanna come here, after we find Airk, to live, I would tag along. If that’s okay. ‘Cause I don’t wanna have any adventures unless they’re with you. I should’ve told you that sooner, you know? And for that, for everything, I’m so sorry. Alright, uh, what did you wanna say?
#willow#willowedit#willow 2022#kit x jade#tanthamore#wlwsource#kit tanthalos#jade claymore#**my edit#dude this took 4 hours skcjsdjcd#anyway#they're so insaaaane goddddddddddddd#the truth? plum exchange is so good like it's such a graceful considerate thing to do#bc kit is like this is everything i feel and i'm giving you the space to choose what happens next#she's giving control over to jade#ugh so good#anyway and nothing bad happened after
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My little headcanon that all beasts have strained relationships with Shadow Milk; it’s just that Burning Spice has a harder time hiding her discomfort from being next to this manipulator
And Shadow Milk on other hand REALY likes Burning Spice Most likely because he finds Burning Spice useful in his big game
I also wanted to draw a group hug
#I absolutely positive it could be far from the truth but I just like the idea what no one likes Smilk in his universe#yeah I just being mean#anyway#Ughhh I cant wait for Burning Spice update I'm so exited#I cant sleep cant eat i just wait for the update#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#art#shadow milk crk#burning spice cookie#burning spice crk#eternal sugar cookie#mystic flour cookie#silent salt cookie
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I feel like a lot of people mistake comic relief or goofiness for lack of effort or caring by the creator, and that belies a real lack of understanding of like, writing and humor and art in general.
#i'm thinking about how on 4sd travis and sam talked about the work they put into chet and fcg and veth#all of whom have been treated really dismissively in weird ways#and the people who are like haha they're a dumb joke character invariably stan characters with WAY less effort put in#which is fine! you should like what you like!#but you're not grading on effort clearly so stop pretending you are! it's fine!#this is actually this blog's mission statement. like what you like but stop justifying it with blatant lies#hell for all braius is by necessity not the deepest of characters sam clearly cared enough to rewrite his spoiled backstory!#like i find it just. really...suspicious isn't quite the right word but i'm not landing on the correct one#how people jump to equate their personal preferences with thought and care and effort and quality in the absence of evidence#like man it's ok if you did a wine tasting and your fave was the three buck chuck. drink that and live your truth
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I just want to draw Caldarus with the farmer, I imagine he must have been feeling lonely all this time.
I wonder if a tree grew in front of it, if it is possible that over time flowers would have grown on its body.
#field of mistria#Caldarus#fields of mistria Caldarus#While I was drawing I was looking for references and the truth is I'm not surprised by what I saw.#I also don't know if it's because I read a lot of manhwa but I can perfectly see a fanfic with a title like#the wife of the village dragon or something like that XD#if it weren't for the fact that writing makes me so anxious and because there is still very little information I would do the fanfic myself#fields of mistria
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He was about to kill you, Lex. Or divulge something you didn't want me to know.
— SMALLVILLE, "Forever" (4.21)
+ bonus from "Arctic" (7.20):
#smallville#smallvilleedit#svedit#lex luthor#jason teague#lionel luthor#clark isn't in these scenes but they're still very much#clex#sv 4x21#sv 7x20#dcmultiverse#my gifs#'why can't you see what's right in front of your face lex?' god. god. godddd.#I think there's a really interesting discussion to be had (with many potential viewpoints)#re: to what extent lex actually knew the truth either consciously or subconsciously at any particular time#and how much he was just in denial about it (and why)#I'm not really prepared to have that discussion in these tags but like#let's face it - lex figured out that clark had powers all the way back in 1x12#just because clark convinced him he was wrong at the time doesn't mean he just forgot that whole thing#and yet it seemed like the more seasons went on and the more obvious the truth became#especially the fact that clark was so heavily tied to all the alien weirdness of smallville#the more lex seemed to (subconsciously?) push back against accepting or recognizing that truth#I mean that's literally what he's doing in the 4x21 scene with jason#so it's like he both desperately wanted to know clark's secret but also didn't want to know at all#and that's just SO interesting#I mean jesus the 7x20 scene is supposed to be peak evil lex and yet he STILL has to be pushed into accepting the truth#and he does so with his eyes glistening because yeah he wanted to know clark's secret once upon a time but he never wanted THIS#(remember when lex told jonathan in s1 that he just wanted clark to have a happy normal life bc clark was such a good person?#and then he's told in 7x20 that to save the world he has to KILL clark and take that life away from him hahaha [crying] it's fine I'm FINE)#wow I really said 'I'm not prepared to have this discussion' and then just. proceeded to have it anyway huh. lmao oops
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lose my mind every time the doctor takes rose's last name in fics. brilliant, amazing, splendid, absolutely perfect.
like, what do you MEAN she'd be the one to change her last name? he doesn't even HAVE a bloody name like us! plus, she's rose tyler. you think he's going to want that to be different? it's the doctor and rose tyler in the tardis (or I suppose whatever they do in pete's world, but that's still the doctor and rose tyler having their new adventure)!!
she's rose tyler and he is whatever-he-wants tyler. end of discussion. the whole pond diabolical should've been clue enough imo
#sorry but I cannot stand it#and I keep being forced to anyways#she is ROSE TYLER#like how amy is amy pond. and not amy williams. because she's amy pond.#well rose is rose is rose and I HATE rose smith/noble sorry I've said my truth#like... rose SMITH? what? that doesn't. that's not. no. that doesn't sound right. that doesn't... fit.#I just cannot imagine in any universe or au where the doctor would want her to change her name. I literally cannot.#he wouldn't want to change a damn thing about her and her name is just so. it's her. it's beautiful. I've ran out of good words. fantastic!#he should take her last name just sayin#very passionately saying ahahahaha#this feels aggressive and like I'm getting onto people for writing these. I'm not. I just also have a very strong opinion about this lol#I just don't think you understand what it does to me when I see the doctor take her last name. I simply don't think you do#john tyler. james tyler. whatever tyler. hngk#timepetals#tenrose#tentoorose#tenth doctor#tentoo#rose tyler#doctor who
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what the fuck. why is it everyone's reaction to scream at girls baking cute pies for getting Trump into office. this seems so ironically counterproductive and blatantly misogynistic
honestly I feel like it's because striking out at something you can see is easier than admitting that ideologies are slippery, often invisible things
everyone would love to have a code for ferreting out trad types, a visual signifier you can spot beyond an actual, overt insignia or slogan (which most of them, especially women, don't wear). and a way to signal to others, without fail, that they are Not Like That. it's comforting to say "don't wear this or do this, and avoid anyone who does, and you will be Safe and signal to others their safety around you"
but the real world just. doesn't work like that. you cannot tell someone's politics from their aesthetic, with very few exceptions. and all that "avoid XYZ because that's trad!!!!" leads to is alienating people in your community who do the thing you've decided to demonize, and making yourself miserable if you want to do those things or wear those clothes
#ask#anon#I also think the 'YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN NICER TO MEN!' thing has some serious issues and I've been seeing it a lot#is there truth to not blaming men unilaterally for the actions of some? yes. of course. but like...a lot of the women expressing#anger and fear right now#aren't doing that and historically haven't#so it comes off very dismissive and even victim-blaming#it's not our fault men have been drawn to the alt-right. I'm sorry. it's just not.#because what then would be the actions on our parts that caused it?#demanding our rights? insisting on control over our own bodies? not letting them get away with acting like the center of the universe?#would you ask us to walk that back to make someone else comfortable?
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You can be smoothie. A fear submitted by Felix to Deep Dark Fears - thanks! You can find original art in my store over HERE!
#comics#Deep Dark Fears#Fran Krause#fears#blender#So here's the story#folks.#It's been a crazy couple years#and I haven't been posting every week like I used to.#But the truth is that I've still been doing this comic every single week.#It's published in a paper out in Vermont called Seven Days - Hi Jeff!#Anyhow - I haven't been posting it online because I've just been very busy the past year or so#But this week I've finally gotten around to formatting all these comics and I'm going to see what happens when I publish a year's worth#in a few days.#Who knows?#Hope you're all well!#Your pal - Fran
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Gog au niigo for tonights doodle
#I am still deeply stuck in the huh? hwah? stage but I think I at least found a presentation I'm happy with#so ig that's the last gog au post from this blog (I still will reblog upcomming art and tagg them adequately so there is no real loss lmao)#now here comes the usual “man idk” speech#species are still more or less randomly picked. I did settle on only using the owls mentioned in the books (lest I study all 268 owls)#I really like making Mafuyu a sooty owl (cuz the design slaps(objective truth)) Ena as a burrowing owl would be fun#and Mizuki is a short eared owl. Mainly becausen those are the “the eyliner owls” for me...also I like short eared owls#Kanade is a borreal owl because they are noted to have a beautiful song (unless the ger edition made that up (idk this is the idk speech))#for Kanade I thought it would be nice to make her a normal colored owl that turned white due to stress. That'll stay no matter what#Mafuyu will prolly be moon blinking but the drawing doesn't show that and now I'm going to explode (bwagh I'm dead)#whatever sleep for the sleepless (me)#my art#niigo#mafuyu asahina#asahina mafuyu#kanade yoisaki#yoisaki kanade#mizuki akiyama#akiyama mizuki#ena shinonome#shinonome ena#prsk gog au#edit: oh yeah Enas wings are colored because I'm playing with the idea that she paints her feathers to be more interesting?#idk like to visualize her bodyimage issue or to just make her artistic side obvious#project sekai#(I always forget that tagg)
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He's electric ⚡
#MANDATORY SUMMER COMEBACK HAKURYUU POST#Let's be honest this isn't my best work#Still#I like it <3#I MADE THE HAIR NO REFERENCE AND IN A MINUTE I FEEL SO PROUD OF MYSELF#I must tell everyone about that#inazuma eleven#inazuma eleven go#my art#ejhejjej I almos forgot about the tags#Eky makes backgrounds be scared#Hakuryuu#This guy really needs to get a surname#Gues s who's been listening an embarrassing amount to Oasis#(me!!!!)#Even though I made this with Gorillaz on the bg#It was this song what gave me the idea to make this drawing heheh#I MISSED TAG RANTING SO MUCH I'M HAVING MY MOMENT HERE#Hello tag veterans#I'm facing the truth that I don't know all the people in the tag anymore#That's sad because I really miss Inablr#Spotify
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I promise we'll be together, always and... Forever?
#cloisedit#smallvilleedit#dcedit#dctvedit#tvedit#dcfilmblr#televisiongifs#dailyfilmtvgifs#tvarchive#dailyflicks#otpsource#junkfooddaily#userstream#myedit#dc#smallville#clark kent#lois lane#clark x lois#sorry i'm so obsessed with this kiss#like i'm obsessed with all their kisses#but the way he's holding her with his giant hand#and the way he KNOWS something Meteor Related is going on but he just can't help himself#and how he DOES think deep and his answer that THIS is her real and forever home regardless of what is going on IS THE TRUTH#HE KNOWS IN HIS HEART
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Can we talk about how Jonathan might've been able to clock Mike simply because of what happened with him and Nancy in season two?
This will be a long post, so you might want to strap in or save it for later.
In Will and Mike's case, it would obviously be much different from Jonathan and Nancy's situation, given that you know, they're gay. But we still have Jonathan arguably going through a similar experience as Will, while Mike is going through a similar experience as Nancy.
In s2, we see Nancy confront Jonathan about how she waited for him before getting back with Steve, which is a revelation to him. Then they're at Murray's and she's struggling to say she loves Steve, after a handful of moments between them that felt like she might return Jonathan’s feelings. And you can clearly see it in his eyes, listening to Murray imply that they have feelings for each other, with him looking back and forth sort of in awe of what's happening, like he's starting to question if she might actually like him back.
Will doesn't have that same affordance as Jonathan to really hope, at least not anymore. Which is why these relationships in s2 and s4 end differently for these two brothers.
Based on all the signs he was seeing that Nancy felt the same, Jonathan decided to take the plunge to admit to Nancy how he felt, and at that same moment Nancy had the courage to show how she felt. In Will and Mike's case, Will wasn't ready to take the plunge to admit to Mike how he felt, at the same moment Mike didn't have the courage to show how he felt.
What's so painfully hilarious to me about all of this though, is that Jonathan arguably starts the season in the same shoes as most of the audience, where from his perspective, it's becoming obvious to him now that Will like's Mike, but that Mike does not feel the same way.
First at Rink-O-Mania, Mike appears a little uncomfortable upon hugging Will. Then as the happy couple continues on their adventure into Rink-O-Mania, he watches Will lagging behind moping. And then unfortunately he's out of commission for the rest of the evening...
But once he's sober and back to being an attentive brother the following morning, we see him watching them at breakfast, with Mike barely sparing Will a glance, all while Will is blatantly staring, almost like he's waiting for Mike to look back, only for Mike to get up and walk away.
All of these instances gotta be SCREAMING unrequited gay love to Jonathan. He's already gotten signs for years that Will is gay, these are now just the signs that are instilling his suspicions that Will has feelings for Mike. He could have easily interpreted their relationship in the early seasons as young best friends, with Will seeming to have a crush on Mike, and with them growing up and that potentially including Will's straight friend distancing himself from him because he doesn't feel the same. It's not the most unexpected thing in the world considering.
But then there's a shift.
Suddenly he's creeping up on them talking in his room. And we know he was listening in on the conversation because he brings up Owens when he sits down. As he's eavesdropping, he's probably thinking something innocent like Aww they're making up! And like, hey! Even if Mike doesn't feel the same, which is okay and entirely expected honestly, at least he still cares about Will enough to make things right after acting so out of character. Still, I'm not gonna lie, that sounded a lot like flirting to me--
Then he's knocking on Will's door like 30 minutes or less later only to find Mike and Will back on their bullshit. Mike suddenly isn't going out of his way to ignore or put Will on the back burner. In fact, he's on his bed and they're talking, again! The door is even closed this time, which is interesting. This has gotta be a good sign in Jon's eyes. Nothing to worry about! Right? Right...?
But then suddenly this shift continues, going in a direction he probably didn't expect.
I mean, this is literally an identical jancy parallel we have here with byler on the hood of the car, with Jonathan right there to witness it. Despite him maybe only now subconsciously picking up on the similarities between Will and Mike to him and Nancy here, he's at least taking note (I mean he's even got his gay map out and everything).
It isn't until the van scene happens, that I think Jonathan starts to genuinely consider his suspicions, which is that Mike might actually like Will back.
EVERY time we get a shot of Jonathan looking back at Will and Mike in the van, followed by a shot of his POV from the rearview mirror, we're faced with Mike looking at Will while Will is looking away.
As Jonathan is hearing Will confirm his suspicions about his feelings for Mike, he's simultaneously witnessing Mike not looking at Will with disgust, but something more akin to reverence. All of those moments in the van that we witnessed, including all the ways Mike looked at Will and everything that was said, Jonathan was right there.
And what's even more insane about this scene, is that it circles back to Jonathan as a character himself.
I remember when people were talking about how odd it was that we never saw Jonathan with a camera in s4. After 3 seasons in a row of making his passion for photography a big part of his identity, that part of him was apparently absent entirely this time around... But was it really?
This is the same guy that said, "Sometimes, people don't really say what they're really thinking. But you capture the right moment, it says more."
Jonathan might not have had his camera in s4, but this was without a doubt one of those moments where he captured something more.
Something that I also think get's highly overlooked about this scene, especially when it comes to Jonathan looking back at them, being followed by a shot of Mike staring at Will, is that he could see both of their reactions the whole time, from beginning to end. Will nor the audience had the affordance of knowing because Will was facing the other way at the end, while we on the other-hand were blurred from even having the chance, despite Mike literally being in the frame. But not Jonathan. He even lets us see what he sees, a few times, but not at the very end, which would have been nice after they didn't let us see Mike's reaction seconds before this.
Let's just stop right there for a second though and circle back to what I consider to be the first time Jonathan really picked up on Will's feelings for Mike, which was at the end of s3, in a sequence that is a little too relevant to the van scene if you ask me, given that they are almost direct parallels.
While these parallels are pretty spot on visually, they are also near spot on narratively when it comes to the evolution each of these characters are experiencing.
For Will in the first scene, it's sadness that he's moving away from his friends in Hawkins and also feeling like he's losing Mike, after what looks like him and El making up, which makes him scared he'll distance himself again. For Jonathan, it's sympathy for his brother who appears to have some very deep feelings for his friend, feelings he can't quite grasp yet but soon enough will.
For Will in the second scene, it's heartbreak that he has to accept that Mike will never feel the same, knowing that supporting his relationship with El (encouraging it honestly) will likely turn out just as it did last time, with him losing Mike all over again, for the last time. For Jonathan it's sympathy for his brother who has now confirmed his suspicions that the feelings he has for Mike are more than just that of a friend.
Given that this parallel reinforces the same feelings Will and Jonathan had in s3 to now, why would this not also reinforce those same feelings that Mike had in s3 to now?
In the first scene, Mike was visibly distraught, with dialogue from Hopper in the background applying a little too perfectly with what he was feeling in that moment, which was scared. He’s apparently back together with El now, despite them doing just fine as friends for the last 3 months, as well as him and Will just having finally gone back to them being on good terms again. But now, it’s like he’s right back where he started at the beginning of s3, feeling obligated to be the perfect boyfriend to El, and as a result, having no choice in his eyes but to distance himself from Will. Mike then walks into his house looking like a zombie, almost emotionless stepping into his mother's embrace.
Now, I say almost emotionless because it looks like Mike was trying to hold back showing how he truly felt in this moment. He's not crying like he did in s1 when he lost Will that first time. Time has passed and things have changed (he doesn't want things to change). And he's trying his best to keep it together. But the in-focus close-ups make it clear that he is definitely not okay.
What's so impactful about these parallels is that it presents the inner struggle both of these characters are having, both queer and experiencing doubts, but in different ways and for different reasons.
Will is the one who covers it all up with lies, hiding the tears in his eyes, because boys don't cry.
Mike is the one who has never cried to them, just to his soul (RUN AWAY! TURN AWAY! RUN AWAY! TURN AWAY! RUN AWAY!!!).
If you actually try to get a gage on Mike's in-focus emotions in that first scene vs. his out-of-focus emotions in that second scene, well they're not that far off from each other.
We go from Mike smiling vibrantly at Will, to him now slowly turning away to look back down at the painting, with whatever the hell emotion this is...
It's near impossible to catch because of how out-of-focus it is, but looking a lot closer, it honestly appears like Mike is feeling something akin to sadness that he's trying to mask. For a moment it even looks like he turns his head to wince emotionally, only to correct himself.
And call me crazy, but these shots also low-key parallel each other. Mike looking down trying to keep his emotions in check and failing miserably, only to look up and meet eyes with someone whose witnessing it.
With each shot before this of Jonathan observing Mike looking at Will, with him showing all the emotions Will never got to see and everything else in between, I wonder what Jon saw this time? Probably another thing he didn't expect.
Can you just try to imagine the silence in this van, accompanied by Will's muffled sobs, and then try to imagine Mike turning to look down at the painting, only to sneak a glance, and then go right back to looking at the painting, IN SILENCE, and then try to tell me how the assumption that Mike didn’t notice Will crying makes any sense, like realistically?
Yeah me and Jonathan are confused too.
Right now, Jonathan's probably wondering why Mike was acting a little fruity and repressed during the painting reveal. And that although he may have a penchant for being able to 'capture the right moment', Mike is sticking with his story (despite all the stalling and doubt). He is 100% straight!
And so maybe this is where Jonathan tries to accept what is being presented to him as the truth, despite the contradictions in front of him. It's likely that despite the way Mike looks at Will and acts around him, in ways he would have assumed coming from Nancy in s2 would've been evidence that she felt the same, it probably doesn't apply to Mike.
Maybe Jonathan's ready to accept that it's a lot more likely Will is experiencing unrequited love as a gay kid growing up in a small town, the most predictable experience a gay kid could go through, and in contrast Mike just feels too bad to let Will down easy.
Or who knows, maybe Mike could still be a little bit gay too...
But it doesn't matter anyways. Mike seems to be adamant about this and so there's really nothing else Jonathan can he do besides tell his brother he'll be there for him no matter what. And so he does just that.
But then Mike just has to surprise him one last time.
For those that don't know, the line Mike gives here in his monologue was in part pulled from Will's monologue in the van. Most don't know this because this line didn't make the final cut for the van scene, but in the official script the writers posted, what we find is an almost a direct parallel.
Which makes the reaction shots of Will and Jonathan directly after Mike says this all the more epic.
From Will's end he was probably hearing Mike say this and just thinking 'Damn. Well, that's what you get for using your feelings to inspire Mike to profess his love to El.'
But from Jonathan's end, I don't think his outside POV of these events overlapping was nearly as naive as his brothers understanding of the events. Because why the fuck would Mike need to use Will's feelings to inspire him to profess his love to El in the first place? Is this what Mike has been struggling with? Really? Why before every moment Mike takes action in this scene, is Will's hand literally pushing him into it? Why is Mike being so dramatic about saying I love you, stuttering and rambling about her being a superhero, not saying nearly as meaningful of things as what Will said in the van?
And then it hits him.
Mike is reminding him a little too much of another Wheeler right now...
Nancy Wheeler, who was afraid of what would happen if she accepted herself for who she really was, leading her to retreat back to the safety of Steve. Because Nancy liked Steve, but she didn't love Steve.
And now here is Mike Wheeler, who has went from being incredibly distant with Will after reuniting with El, something that is very unlike the Mike he knew in previous seasons, to something more himself again after they make up, with him looking at Will with adoration after hearing his words in the van, only to turn away and look heartbroken. Mike who is now struggling to simply tell El he loves her with Will right behind him literally yelling at him to do it.
And now it's like all those little moments are starting to add up to Jonathan.
Suddenly all those signs he picked up on from Will when he was younger are now blending in with moments Will shared with Mike. It was Mike who jumped in after him and his mom's speech to Will in the shed in s2, with tears in his eyes recalling the day that they met (without being asked, let alone pushed to). And it's Mike who is now looking like he's at war with himself as he attempts to give encouragement to El, just like he did with Will in s2, but this time he needs someone to push him to do it, and that person just so happens to be Will. After just finding out about Will's feelings and also while assuming El wants him to love her that way still, Mike is stuck.
I don't think it's takes a genius to consider Jonathan is capable of realizing how fucked they all are in this situation.
As much as Mike isn't ready for a sleuth of reasons, Will isn't ready either.
This provides a huge contrast between the bylers ², because while Jonathan and Nancy went through a similar experience to Will and Mike, them being ready to accept it and act on it didn't involve nearly as many factors and risks. Will and Mike also have the added barrier that is homophobia.
Will's internalized homophobia lies in part with assuming Mike could never feel the same based on some of the words he said in their last two fights, with parts being painfully reminiscent of the things his dad and bullies used to say about him. These are also words that contradict Mike's own words and actions from the previous seasons, things that did once give Will hope. The shame and guilt that comes with falling for your best friend, who you now know will never feel the same after being foolish enough to believe it not too long ago, and who might not even want to be your friend anymore upon finding out the truth, is understandable. He can't have hope like Jonathan can. It's just not the same.
Mike's internalized homophobia lies with assuming El wants him to love her, along with their relationship being expected and socially acceptable from everyone around him. Though unfortunately for her he feels abundantly more in love in the moments he shares with Will. Despite trying to make it work with El as hard as he could, because she's amazing and all any guy could hope for in a girlfriend, he can't ignore the fact that the feelings he has for these two people are different. The shame and guilt that comes with you, a boy, falling for your best friend, who is also a boy, and who is starting to show that he feels the same, all while you can't muster up the courage to break up with your girlfriend, nor can you muster up the courage to tell her that you love her, not when she's begging you, dying or even just simply at the end of a letter, is pretty understandable too. He can't have hope like Nancy can. It's just not the same.
Spoiler: They were not ready.
PS: I'm still not over the fact that they low-key confirmed these events elsewhere in the story...
#byler#st analysis#pocketgate#lettergate#i'm aware this is a hot (big brain) take#but i'm like 76% sure mike understood will in the van scene#also why mike is gonna finally be dealing with some personal business in s5...#just want to add that this makes the scene at Nina hit harder#also#mike trying and failing to tell el he loves her or break up with her at surfer boy and stalling because he just can't fucking do either?#mike's face when will pushes him to profess his love to el right in front of him???#honestly i dont think mike would've gone through with his monologue if he didn't think this is what el wanted in large part#i think he thought that if he did break up with her she wouldn't need him at all anymore#or more specifically if told her the truth she might hate him for it and just not want to be in his life in the aftermath of that#this is why he struggled so much with being honest#it was either lie and suffer but get to keep her in his life most likely or tell her the truth and potentially lose her and still suffer#it's just that now he has literally no choice but to conform and be with her all while knowing it's not what his heart truly wants#the heart not being true to himself jumpstarted the apocalypse#everyone act surprised#byler getting jonathan’d in s5 can be something so personal#no but imagine jon getting even more signals mike feels the same 😭#and he tries to talk to will about it but will just gets upset like pls stop why are you saying this?#or imagine him talking about it subtly with Nancy and her being like no way#only to see it for herself#maybe then Nancy would try to talk to Mike about how he’s feeling#idk I could genuinely see byler just getting byler’d individually#but it’s clear at this point Jonathan is extremely suspicious#honestly all I think it would take is him having intel about their previous fights#if he found out mike defended his behavior by insisting that they’re friends…#jonathan would just be like… oh shit.. the first lie…
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