#I cant sleep cant eat i just wait for the update

[dedfly]

My little headcanon that all beasts have strained relationships with Shadow Milk; it’s just that Burning Spice has a harder time hiding her discomfort from being next to this manipulator

And Shadow Milk on other hand REALY likes Burning Spice Most likely because he finds Burning Spice useful in his big game

I also wanted to draw a group hug

[triglycercule]

im on vacation how can i make this about the murder time trio. mtt fresh out of a flight and the minute that they leave the airport dust stops horror and killer for the smoke break. because being around a smoker is like that. and while horror is dying and coughing from the cigarette smoke and killer is pretend coughing to make dust feel terrible theyre both simultaneously roasting the shit out of dust for being such an addict smoker. cancer speedrun GO says horror. refreshing his signature smell says killer. dust just glares at them and blows smoke in their face (horror literally takes damage he's at 0.7 HP)

[newtness532]

one day the tomorrow from "I'll just study more seriously tomorrow" will have to come

[marlenesluv]

۵pairing: fem!albonsibling!ballerina x platonic f1 grid. also, reader x lando norris.

۵type: social media au

۵authors note: sorry it’s been so long! if you want a tag for new updates for this series, leave a comment letting me know! i’ll tag you in upcoming posts :)

۵warnings: dark side of ballet (this includes: ed/not eating as much, self criticism, teacher, etc) please be aware of this while reading. i love you. also cussing.

۵summary: a month after the dinner, y/n is still working to perfect her performance for her role as the black/white swan. luckily, she had her “friend(?)” lando to help her and keep her company.

۵this is part 4! please read part 1, part 2, and part 3 before this one for it to make sense. (part 1 is mine, i just made it on my main blog)

masterlist here -> masterlist link

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: lilymhe, landonorris, and 854,282 others

tagged: lilymhe, landonorris, and alex_albon

y/n.albon: reminiscing bc i start training for ballet tomorrow, missing friends and shit👾💜

view comments…

lilymhe: noooo i miss you, cant wait to crash ur apartment every few days 💘

↳ y/n.albon: my door is always open for u

↳ landonorris: and me???😪

��� y/n.albon: 🔑

↳ landonorris: 🙂↕️

↳ alex_albon: wait. LANDO HAS A KEY!?????

↳ alex_albon: why do i even comment. you NEVER ANSWER ME😭🤧

user2: alex is just so offended atp😭

f1wags: new wag manifestinggggg🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

fp4albons: my favssss

ln4updates: lando has a key to her apartment?🥲we know they’re dating like js announce it😁

user7: alr, my favorite people ever (real)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You loved ballet more than anything, but the hours were ungodly. Waking up on a Monday morning at 5am to be at the studio by 7:30am was unforgivable.

But then, when you’re there till 11pm…it’s exhausting.

After those fifteen hours of practice, you needed about a week of sleep and four advil. Not to mention you were starving.

Your instructor said “lay off those bagels.” To which you nodded and then rolled your eyes once you were out of sight.

Your instructor was the best of the best, and you knew she meant well. She wanted the best for you, for you to be the best.

Sometimes, this was draining. In her eyes, the best was as thin as paper. Ballet was like this, and it was hard. But you had dealt with it for so long, that you started tuning them out years ago.

Fuck them. Its a sport. So, on your walk home, you grabbed a slice of pizza and a diet coke. You deserved it.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, and 879,238 others

y/n.albon: 🌚⭐️🌝

view comments…

landonorris: never letting you drive my car again

↳ y/n.albon: okay (i hate driving so this is perfect)

↳ landonorris: (thank god because i hate being the passenger)

user3: name a more iconic couple? *crickets* yeah i thought so

f1editpg4: lando on the first slide is a mooddddd

workinglateee3: uhhhhh the second pic🤧🤧🙃

francisca.cgomes: if you’re not rooting for portugal…

↳ y/n.albon: uhhhhh, they’re my second fav team😁

↳ francisca.cgomes: fairrr🫶

user6: me waiting for them to date 🙂

user9: mom and dad fr

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

your texts with alex:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

After deciding that leaving Alex on read would be best for now, you walked into your favorite little italian restaurant that you ordered some pasta from after practice got over.

Should you be eating breadsticks, gnocchi, and a tiramisu for dinner? Eh, probably not, but you were tired and in need of some comfort food.

The whole situation with Lando felt like nothing and everything all at once. You knew he was single, and he knew you were as well. He also knew how upset you were about Ben quitting, but he didn’t pity you which was nice.

Family that had found out had been texting and calling you for weeks. Telling you how sorry they are, but you didn’t care that much. Truth be told, it was just inconvenient and inconsiderate.

If Lando knew one thing, it would how he knew how you functioned. At this point in knowing each other, Lando knew your schedule more than anyone else. He paid more attention. He never missed a planned hangout, a rehearsal, or dinner.

Stopping yourself, you walked up to the counter and grabbed your food, saying bye to the workers and started walking back home. What you didn't know was that Lando had happened to drive by and saw you walking.

Lando debated picking you up. The last thing he wanted was for you to think he was stalking you. It really was pure coincidence that he saw you. After having a mental fight with himself, he turned his car around and slowed down by the sidewalk.

You, wearing leggings, a sweater, long socks and tennis shoes and your hair down. Eyes focused on your phone as you struggled to find a good song to play through your headphones. Your ballet bag hanging off your shoulder and takeout in the opposite hand.

Smiling, Lando rolled his window down. "Y/n!"

You furrowed your brows, looking up and seeing a familiar face.

"Lando? What are you- are you following me now?!" You asked, stopping to talk as he stopped his car.

"What? Wha- no! I was driving by and you were just there!" He defended himself, nervous about your reaction.

"Uh huh..."

"Do you want a ride home?" Lando asked, tilting his head a little.

"Are you going to kidnap me if I get in?"

"Y/n! No! Stop that, just-...do you want a ride, or no?" He asked, hoping for you to say yes.

"Um...." You looked at the ground, then the buildings, and finally met his eyes, "Okay, yeah, thanks."

You opened the back door and threw your bags in, placing the food on the ground. Then, you got in the front, taking your headphones off and buckling up.

"How was practice?" Lando asked, pulling onto the road again and heading to your apartment building.

"It was okay. Lots of criticizing." You sighed, toying with your sweater string.

"About?" Lando loved your love for ballet. But sometimes, he wished he could beat your instructor. Always bringing you down, for no reason. In his eyes, you were perfect. He was well aware that he liked you...more than friends.

“Form, diet, you know..all that shit.” You laughed, watching as Lando skillfully pulled into the parking garage of your apartment. “Thanks for driving me, Lando.” You smiled, getting out and grabbing your bags as Lando exited the car as well.

“Care if I come up?” He asked, stuffing his hands in his hoodie pocket as you nodded and started walking, Lando quick on your trail.

‘Maybe he does like me…’ you thought as you both walked into your apartment and you started to split up the food you had ordered.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: y/n.albon, carlossainz55, and 982,194 others

landonorris: nights like this❤️

view comments…

y/n.albon: ♾️

*liked by creator*

oscarpiastri: have something to tell us, mate?

↳ landonorris: nah

f1wags: we have been summoned, WHAT

user3: it’s y/n bro i’m telling you

alex_albon: um…ok…..

ln4editpagee: we all know y/n took that first pic

user8: that’s literally y/n, i know those headphones anywhereeee

williams4life: alex has to be freaking out omg

↳ formula1wags: lily has to deal with the freak out too😭💀

y/ns1fp4: MOTHERRRR MOTHER MOTHER

user1: obsessed with this post, it’s my roman empire fr

user3: do we stay calm or freak out guys??????

↳ vrooms19: BOTH

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

twitter:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

tag: @rhythmstars

if you would like a tag for future parts of this series, leave a comment here and i’ll add you :)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[animeshotsh]

Im going to eat you! (No) | V's x Kid!Reader HCS |

Hcs of your time with the V's during this.

Warnings: HH violence-cursing- Kid!Reader hates Valentino - Veelvet its mentioned but for just a moment - Vox inner thoughts of you - Vox has a crush on Alastor on this - Vox its down bad for Alastor and Lucifer -

Note: Because I saw one user saying reader did not bite Valentino and tbh valid.

When you saw what they were doing (well only the strange insect sinner the TV head had decided to be a by stander and to also catch you) what he was doing to Angel you were furious.

Oh, how you desired you could transform like your dad, sis or uncle but you were weak.

Fuck you for sending me to hell with no power.

However, you can still move as crazy as a sinner can and more with the sugar in your system thanks to the ice cream from earlier.

"W-wait a minute" The tv head tries to catch you again only to be head butted by Lucifer's lamb.

Who is also weak and is going to ask his creator for an update on its powers.

However back to you, you are running now towards that insect sinner who is not paying attention to no one but the poor Angel on the floor.

And so, you end on the sinners shoulder and bite hard on his arm. Your teeth getting sharper thanks to your angry feelings. In fact when Valentino tries to remove you, you are quick to go to his other arm and bite down again.

"FUCKING BITCH"

"Im going to eat you" you say with the most dangerous voice no one ever hear from you.

Angel its suprised for a second then almost loses his heart when Valentino pushes you off towards the floor. However, you are not done and end biting his leg too.

"THIS FUCKING BITCH, I SWEAR JUST WAIT TILL YOU GROW UP IM GOING TO PUT YOU IN SO MUCH PAIN DO YOU KNOW-"

"VAL!!" Vox calls his companion getting you off from the floor, having to use so much Force to prevent you from running again. "I need this one alive and mentally sane" when Vox sees that you are not getting any weak he sends a small shock of electrecity to you making you sleep.

"The fucker bite me, look" Valentino says offended showing the marks and blood you left.

"Its Alastor's kid, of course its going to try any sinner they can"

Again, Lucifer felt a shake in the Force.

Fast moving, they get to the V's tower. Valentino wants you away from him so he decides to take his anger on the poor souls that works for him.

Vox decides to tie you up just in case.

Seeing your sleeping form almost makes him go soft. You are not as terrible when you are not biting his companion's flesh off.

Also, he kind of claps to that, Val needs a reminder every now and then.

Vox wonders if Veelvet would like you, sure she does not make kid's clothes but maybe she could make something for you?

And maybe now Alastor would finally accept being part of the company because they have you hostage.

And no, Vox its not thinking about him and Alastor raising you....

Really he is not.

Ok maybe a little.

Later once you woke up and you two bond he can tell he is fucked because even if Alastor beats him up till death (oh pls do it he wishes) he want to keep you around.

You can watch Barney all you want, and you can bite Val anytime of the day. Really, you have his permission.

He cant remember if he ever wanted to be a father when he was alive but now the need to raise you is there.

Is this a demonic Power? Making overlords want to raise you and be your relatives? Who knows.

Later once its discover that you are Lucifer's kid, and how you still try to get him to show the king of hell ducks....

Fuck stop helping him!! He does not want to see you go but he cant fight hell's king.

Oh, and when Alastor treated him finally.

He thanks you for that.

He later has to deal with Val and Veelvet because they cant do business for 2 weeks.

And so, Vox ends sleeping hugging his Alastor's pillow and also thinking on getting one of the king himself.

Would you mind 3 dads ?

[heeseung-min]

[12:41]

"Oh! You got flowers again! It's the fifth time this week."

You stared at the bouquet of lillies. It's your favourite flower but you felt creepy after reading the notes that this person left for you.

I hope you like this flowers just how I like to see you every night you come home.

You discarded the flowers while your coworkers stared at you with confusing expression.

"Why did you throw that?"

"Yeah, you should be grateful you got admirer."

"Can you guys just shut up and mind your business?"

With that, your coworkers started to leave your table and went to their seats. You spent your day with stressing over the work and about the secret admirer words. It made you feel agitated on your surrounding.

"Y/n, do you want to have lunch together?"

Heeseung asked you as he keep his place nice and tidy before turning to you waiting for a response.

"Sure, let me finish this first."

While you were eating with Heeseung, you got a text from unknown number. You put your cutlery down before taking the phone.

Even when you're eating, you still look beautiful.

And below the text, there was your picture captured while you were eating. You immediately looked at your surrounding trying to find someone suspicious but everyone in there seems busy with their work and foods.

"Are you okay, Y/n?"

"Yea...yes. I'm good."

"Did something happen? Why were you looking everywhere?"

"Nothing, can we just hurry up? I remember I still didn't finish the report I need to do. I don't want Mr.Park to be mad at me."

Within five minutes, Heeseung and you finished lunch and paid the meal. Your eyes were looking everywhere when you went out from the restaurant. You felt frustrated when you didn't see any weird person.

It's night and you were waiting for your bus when suddenly a man sitting too close to you.

"Hi, I've seen you few times here. I also work in the same building as yours but in different department. Would you like to go out together?"

"I'm sorry but I have a boyfriend."

The man scoffed and then hold your hand tightly while insulting you.

"Oh you think you are that pretty? Am I that ugly? Do you think I'm dumb to not know you don't have a boyfriend?! You whore-"

You gasped loudly when the man got punched by your boss, Park Jongseong. The tight grip on your wrist finally went off and you winced a bit while trying to move your hand.

"Stay away or I call police on you!"

The man quickly ran away after Jongseong said that. He turned to you and checked on you in case the man hurt somewhere else.

"Are you okay? Do you need to go hospital?"

"I'm...I'm fine. Thank you so much, Mr. Park."

"Let me send you home. I don't trust that guy."

When Jongseong reached nearly to your house, you realized that you never tell him your address. You glanced at him who looked so relax while driving as like he really knew where do you live.

"Make sure to lock your windows and door, Y/n. Who knows the guy might be trying to break in."

"Thank you for the ride, Mr. Park. I really appreciate it."

After he went off, you immediately ran to nearest police station in your neighbourhood and told them about Park Jongseong possibly being your stalker.

"With this info, we can't really confirm him as the culprit. So, we hope you can wait for any update from us."

You came home with disappointed feeling when the police officer said that. Even when you wanted to sleep, you keep thinking about it. You decided to swallow a sleeping pill before laying on the bed.

Beep beep beep beep

While you were deeply in sleep, a man pressed on your door lock pad and you didn't notice or even heard your door got unlocked from outside. You can't even heard footsteps coming towards you.

The man aka your stalker smiling at the sight of you sleeping peacefully. He went to sit beside you and caressed your face.

"You worry about wrong person, darling."

[Part 2]

Ayo, it's really been a long time🤓🤓so sorry for not posting anything😣😓 i hope this one can satisfy you🤗 i bet yall cant guess who the stalker is🤣🤣

Taglist: @obsessed1with1straykids @huggyuvita @duolingofanaccount @stacey-stonem

[kittyhui]

woozi as all the love languages

word count: 769 (cute little imagine)

a/n: for ppl reading my smau im sorry for not updating, my writers block is so bad rn😭😭

words of affirmation

- he LOVES praise.

- whenever you come to the studio and listen to something he’s working on, he waits for your lovely words saying that he’s doing so well and that the song sounds amazing

- his ears would blush a pretty pink and he’d cover his face in embarrassment

- talk pretty to him.. he’ll have a heart attack. he just wants to know he’s doing good💔

- but on the other end, he has a hard time praising his SO.

- he doesn’t like to say ‘i love you’. he thinks that after a while it loses its meaning and wont feel as special

- tbh he probably wouldn’t even say those words until like 9 months to a year into the relationship (hes the type to not even say it until his wedding day😭)

- almost any attempt of giving praise comes with stuttering and blushing

acts of service

- because hes so busy, he would really appreciate receiving acts of services

- if you live together, he loves when you tie his tie if he has to dress up in the morning

- in return he’ll make you breakfast and coffee just the way you like it before he heads to the studio

- if you work out with him, he’ll love if you could spot him and vice verse.

- he doesn’t want people to know, buts he’s a princess. giving him massages when he gets home or giving him a full skincare routine and running a bath, he just would feel so loved, especially after a long day of practice

gift giving

- he has a lot of money, he wont deny it, but he won’t spend his money all willy-nilly

- he loves to spoil you but he only does it every now and then

- he’ll STALK all your socials to see what you want if you didn’t already flat out tell him.

- if he knows he wont be home for a while or cant spend time with you (tour, comeback, etc) he’ll slip a few gifts onto your bed, wrapped nice and pretty. he loves when you send him photos or video call him, showing how much you love whatever you got. he cant stop the smile on his face anytime he sees your happiness

- on the other end, jihoon doesn’t like receiving gifts

- he doesn’t want you to waste your money on him and really he’ll only ask for something for his birthday and it will never be something outrageous. if you do a form of art, he’d LOVE to receive something you painted or drew or wrote. if you made music as well, he’d probably cry if you wrote a song for him

quality time

- he’s busy like all the time, but best believe he’ll message you, call you, and try to visit you as much as he can.

- when he’s home or visiting you, you rarely go out

- woozi, the homebody he is, loves movie nights and cooking dinner together.

- watching a movie on your couch while eating a home cooked meal on his rest day is the most domestic thing in jihoon’s mind, it makes his heart flutter everytime.

- even if he doesn’t want to do something, just spending time with his SO without talking is something that he loves

- doing his own thing at the same time as you in comfortable silence is very calming to him and it happens a lot when hes working in the studio and you come to visit

- if the two of you wanted to leave the house to do something together, gym dates, Michelin restaurants and picnics are things he would love to do.

physical touch

- contrary to what most people would think he actually loves physical affection.

- ESPECIALLY when sleeping.

- have yall seen the LieV sleepover stream? woozi is like that with his SO.

- he’s big spoon all the way. he will wrap his legs around you a snuggle his head into your neck when its cold out.

- he’s not a big fan of pda tho. even with the members, he gets bright red even from just a simple peck on the cheek

- the most he would initiate/let you initiate in public is pinky locking when walking and short shoulder touches in passing.

- but as i said before, once he gets home ALONE, he’s all on you.

- hes still shy tho, most of the time you will initiate it.

- he’ll pull you into kisses every now and then, keeping you close to him for hours

- its hard for him to say ‘i love you’ so this is the best way in his opinion

- favorite type of physical affection: cuddling

[rodolfoparras]

I've been staying quiet about how much I love cheating tropes and I'm so happy to see someone talk about. I just like the idea of a bit of a taboo sex ok? And I have so many scenarios I love and either want to write about or did write about.

Having a big strong "straight" (but not really) dude ride you while he's on the phone with his girlfriend/wife? Delicious. Or even better honestly, eating him out while poor little thing is trying his best to stay quiet. Him whining and crying and breathing heavily all while he's trying to sound normal...

Teasing him and playfully degrading him while fucking him, telling him you'll breed him and knock him up and how will be explain *that* to his wife? Coming over and spending time with him, acting like you're just close friends or coworkers while having dinner with him and his wife. And he is squirming the entire time because he's full of your cum and still sore sensitive-

But also since I'm such a switch and can't help thinking of the scenario that's other way around- sleeping with boyfriend's/husband's dad and/or brother and letting him know just how much better they are at keeping me satisfied 🤭 Him calling and me being all like "Sorry babe, your dad's keeping me busy teehee"

Or orrrrr- him being part of a sports team and being out of commission for whatever reason and one day he gets a video and it's just me having fun with his coach and teammates 👀

ANYWAYS- let's pretend like I don't love this trope as much as I do

-🔮

WHEN WRE WE GOING TO SEE THESE PIECES POSTED PLEASE I NEED THEM ALL

or of course the insanity that is your sister husbands pining after you, her younger brother

He’s liked ypu ever since he saw you at a club or some caffe but he never managed to get your number and the very next day he met your sister and things started snowball into the wrong direction til he got stuck in a. Commited relationship with her so now the sweet thing jerks off to whatever picture you send to your sister because you just want to update her on your life and he goes absolutely insane when you come to visit, hogging your personal space and pretending this is what it means being close with your brother in law, or even sneaking downstairs after his wife has fallen asleep just to hang out with you because he knows you’re sleeping on the couch for the night probably in only your boxers and hopefully no shirt, who will blatantly check you out while you watch some movie playing on the tv, or how he will be a sick little pervert and listen in when you’re jerking off, getting himself off at the same time, or going tense when you mention meeting some guy and now he’s interrogating you like crazy because who is he why haven’t you mentioned him before and you cant understand why he’s so obsessed with the random dude who will do anything to prevent you from going on the date but of course you’ll end up going anyway so he’ll wait up for you maybe with a few drinks in your system and you’re confused as ever wondering why he up, but you don’t get to think much more before he smashes your lips together, mutters the word slut between each kiss because how dare you see somebody who isn’t him

[0littleladybug0]

maybe if u are still taking requests, a cg!eddie or maybe robin x little readers first Christmas as a little babbbbbbbby

AHH YES OF COURSE!

Cg!Eddie Munson x Little!reader

Summary: Eddie makes sure that his first Christmas with his little one is as special as it can be.

Tags/Warnings: Age Regression, bottle feeding, reader is a small itty bitty baby, fluff fluff fluff, insecure reader for like a microscopic amount, somehow theres always spelling mistakes i cant find so ignore my poor writing and spelling

You had told Eddie about your regression for a fairly recent amount of time. It had only been a few months since he immediately took the role as your caregiver and you both enjoyed every second of it. No matter how many times you dealt with any insecurities about being small, he was there to reassure you how much he truly enjoyed taking care of you. 

Which is why he wanted to make this Christmas season extra special for his little one. 

He knew how much you loved Christmas and the holiday season, the whole appearance of Christmas and the lead up to it engulfed you in nostalgia and a certain childlike joy and peace. 

He made it his mission to make you feel as tiny as possible during the Christmas season, knowing that if big you loved Christmas this much, little you could only love it just as much. 

To say that Eddie spoiled you during the holiday season would be an understatement. He always took you out to go Christmas shopping, picking you up treat after treat (his rule about sugars and sweets quickly became less lenient as the holidays went by), and always made sure to pop in a christmas movie in his TV when giving you your night time bottle and cuddles before bed. 

Did you think it was strange that Eddie began to baby you a lot more than usual? Maybe a little. But you were too excited about Christmas to detect anything about your boyfriend's behavior. 

The whole week you had been updating Eddie every day on how close you were to the magical day, your advent calendar being your prized possession the whole month.

“Daddy!!” You called out from the living room of his trailer. 

Eddie rushed in, pot of mac and cheese still in his hand at the sudden call of his name. 

“What is it baby?” he asked, kneeling down to our level on the floor as you presented the calendar in his face.

“S’ one more day until Christmas Eve!” you excitedly announced. 

Eddie chuckled at your excitement and ruffled your hair. “That's right! I've got such a smart little one.” he praised planting a kiss on your cheek. In the time that Eddie has been your caregiver, you still haven't gotten used to how much little you loved praise, especially from Eddie. He couldn't get enough of how shy you would get at the sudden rush of red that would spread across your face, causing him to praise you any chance he got to see his baby happy. 

“Cmon, dinner should be ready soon, and I better not see that door open until after we eat, capisce?”  Eddie playfully warned. 

“Yes daddy.” You giggled, waddling over to the table as you awaited your dinner. 

Soon Christmas eve arrived and now Eddie understood what you meant when you told him how much you loved Christmas. Your Christmas jammies stayed on the whole day and Christmas music stayed on the radio. Eddie thinks putting you to bed that night was the hardest thing he ever had to do. Usually when you were having a hard time sleeping, he liked to put you in little space. He quickly regretted doing that last night when you refused to sleep in his room and stayed up on the couch with a flashlight, claiming you were waiting for Santa. 

When Christmas morning came you were just as excited as the past days and Eddie made sure to keep it extra special for you. 

It surprised him that you remained big the whole day, he assumed because Christmas was your favorite holiday, you would give yourself some time to regress and enjoy the Christmas cheer. He could tell you wanted to, but there was something blocking you. He made it his mission the rest of the day to destroy whatever was blocking his little baby from coming out. 

And as Christmas day began to come to a close, Eddie knew what he had to do. He sat you down on the couch, ordering for you to cover your eyes. 

You did as you were told, you covered your eyes with your palms as you awaited for your boyfriend to come back. You opened your eyes at the sound of his sweet voice., 

“Ok, you can open them now.” Eddie said, a cheeky grin beginning to spread across his face. 

You opened your eyes and saw another present in his hands. 

“Eddie, what's all this? I thought we already exchanged gifts this morning?” You asked, looking at him holding another present in his hands. 

“I know, but this is different. I know how much you love Christmas, and I love that you love Christmas, but I want little you to enjoy it too. I don't want you to have to hide during your favorite time of the year. I want you to be able to slip and feel safe knowing that I'll be here to take care of you. You're my little baby, and my baby deserves a good and happy Christmas.” Eddie confessed, pulling you onto his lap cupping one of your cheeks with his hand. 

His soft words almost brought tears to your eyes. No one has ever been as kind and gentle as Eddie in your entire life. 

“Really?” You ask softly, Eddie already seeing you slip the smallest bit. 

“Yes baby.” he lightly chuckled at your attempt to stay big knowing he had already one little you over. “Merry Christmas baby bear.” He smiled, handling over the semi poorly wrapped gift. Eddie was an amazing boyfriend and caregiver, but maybe next year he should leave the wrapping up to you. 

You gave him a cheeky smile, knowing that there was no way to stay big anymore as your little space quickly engulfed you. You began to tear open the wrapping paper, exposing a new box with a cute polar bear pattern scattered around the box. Eddie watched the way you bit your lips in concentration as you struggled opening your gift. Finally you had gotten it open with one final “Hmph” and Eddie swears he had never heard a cuter sound than your gasp of excitement. 

Inside the box he had packed you a whole gift basket with all of your favorite little treats, accompanied by a new bottle with snowflakes on it, a reindeer stuffie, a new onesie with snowmen on it, and a new red paci with a reindeer in the middle, lettered beads spelling out “Little Dear” on the handle. 

“Daddy, I love it!” you squealed at the new goodies in front of you. 

“You do?” Eddie asked, making sure he had bought everything correctly. Poor Eddie has been knee deep in finding you the perfect little gear, doing as much research as he could on the bestest brands and stores. His gift left him apprehensive up until you opened it, his worries melting away as soon as he saw how much you enjoyed your gift. 

“Yes daddy, I love it all! Thank you thank you thank you!” You squealed, hugging his sides tightly. He returned the tight bear hug, rubbing your back and planting a kiss on the top of your head. 

“What do you think, should we try out your new goodies?” Eddie asked, holding up the bottle in his hand and the onesie in the other.

You nodded excitedly. Eddie hadn't bottle fed you many times but it was always something you wished you could do more. Now with your new bottle, both you and Eddie were excited to incorporate it into your night time routine. 

Eddie slipped your new paci into your mouth as you smiled happily. 

“There's my little baby.” Eddie cooed, kissing you again on your forehead. He just couldn't get enough of you when you were little. Caring for you was his favorite thing to do ever. 

He picked you up from the couch, knowing that if he didn't carry you now, you would just start pouring on the couch until he did. Your legs wrapped around his waist as he held you on his hip around the trailer to his bedroom. He laid you down on his bed as he rummaged through his dresser. 

“Alright baby bear, do you want daddy to change you or do you want to do it yourself?” Eddie asked. You had seen eachother naked and changed in front of each other a plethora of times throughout your relationship, but this was different. You were just a little baby, and Eddie wanted to make you feel comfortable with everything. 

“You do it daddy.” You smiled up at him, kicking your feet as they hung from his bed. 

“Ok then, arms up!” he said, tugging your sweater uo our arms and off your body, making sure to give you as many kisses and raspberries on your sides and tummy as he could. He couldn't help it, he loved the way you giggled and squealed. He helped you into your new onesie and a pair of his pj pants. You argued that you didn't want to wear any pants but Eddie insisted that you couldn't just walk around the trailer in no pants. So when he offered that you could wear a pair of his, you accepted with your brows furrowed, but Eddie knew your fussiness wasn't serious. 

He picked you back up and carried you back to the couch. He wrapped you up in a thick and warm blanket and turned on the Christmas movie channel on the TV before going to the kitchen to warm up your bottle. 

He simply couldn't take his eyes off of you and how cute you looked wrapped up in his big blanket, the way you cuddled into your stuffy so gently and how adorable you looked with your new paci. Soon the microwaved beeped, indicating the bottle had finished as he took it out. He poured a drop on his wrist and licked it, testing the temperature to make sure it wasn't too hot for you. He nodded to himself as he approved the temperature and began to walk over to the couch. 

Your eyes were glued to the movie on the TV. You didn't even notice Eddie walking back until you felt the indent on the couch. 

“Ok, you ready baby?” Eddie asked. 

You suddenly became anxious and slightly self conscious. Because bottle feeding had been a new thing for the both of you, you still didn't feel as comfortable as you wanted with it. It was never Eddie's fault, he wanted you to be as comfortable as possible. And being the perfect caregiver that Eddie is, he noticed your change in behavior right away. He placed the bottle on the small lamp table next to him as he laid on the couch, his arms open inviting you in. You happily accepted, moving closer to his side as he held you. You both lost yourself in the movie for a while and Eddie assumed you had gone nonverbal throughout the minutes passing as your talkative state died down and he was left with a cozy and sleepy baby. 

When he found the time was right and you had calmed down, he reached for the bottle again. He softly took the paci out of your mouth and held the bottle, waiting for you to accept. Your eyes fluttered at him and in your safe and sleepy headspace, accepting the warm bottle of milk seemed like a dream. Your lips latched slowly and softly on the bottle as you began to drink. You tried to reach for the bottle before Eddie took them, tucking them back into the blanket and around your reindeer stuffie. “It's ok baby, I got it, you don't have to worry, daddys got you.” he reassured. 

As you kept sipping, you found yourself cuddling deeper and deeper into Eddie's chest, falling sleepier and sleepier. When Eddie found that you had finished the bottle, he gently removed it from your lips and placed the paci back in to avoid any fussiness in your sleep. He turned the small lamp off but decided to leave the TV on for soft lighting and background sounds to keep you asleep. He kissed your forehead once more and wrapped his arms around you. 

“Merry Christmas little one.” He whispered as you two fell asleep in each others arms. Neither of you would have wanted to spend Christmas any other way. 

[collegetennisoriginstory]

OK. UM. first of all, hiiii! <3 ok lemme just gush a lil bit:

1. I LOVE UR FIC OHMYGOD HOLY SHIIIIIIIT

2. god, i don't even have the slightest idea of how tennis works, but this is just so????? like?????? you know. and i kinda get how the play goes?? YOU'RE AN AMAZING WRITER GOSH.

3. i actually remembered most of the characters?? considering there's a lot of em, this is practically a miracle. again, you're goddamn amazing. i dont know how. maybe the pace is great, but definitely THE CHARAS ALL HAVE PERSONALITY/DEPTH??? like, i actually even remembered the side charas!!! mike, thalia, diego, felix, that cool ass girl in that shooting game, etc. umh just perfecto.

4. THE TENNIS MATCHES ALL FEEL SO SATISFYING!!! <3333333 omg. i feel like WUOOOOOH u know. i feel so cool playing a cool talented mc omg im loving it (i play a i-win-everything type of mc becuz im a perfectionist with a fear of failure) the matches me on edge in my seat oh gosh <3 and when u win it somehow just go WOOOOOOOH again!!! AAAAAA<3

5. aw, and of course, my beloved rivals to lovers rayyan <3333 *sigh* the slowburn.... (hes actually my first & only one. i go: ohhh tension!?!? and make a run for it. um, if it's ok to ask, is there a lot of content in the romance area as of now or in the future? like, replayability in terms of romance? im sorry if this is rude, i didnt mean to, i suck at words & i wont ask that again.)

6. FOUND FAMILY YAY! FOUND FAMILY YAY! <33333 (we genuinely lack those in the if community pls.) soulmates w/ sam. ride or die diego. very reluctant ride or die G (imma be honest, his name is just so hard so my head for some reason just go Guacamole 😭). aww tobin u very big cinammon roll ill protect u. shenanigans. & others too many to name honestly.

7. help this is just so good i had to force myself to sleep at 3am for a 7am lecture and i sat in the front rows and i put my head on the table and the fricking professor called me out ohmygod- BUT IT WAS WORTH IT GODDAMN!! ILL DO IT AGAIN IF I HAVE TO! HA! i cant wait for the next update- i'm gonna have this fic in my head for the next week oh pls noooooo. (no pressure tho. u do u author! take ur time!!! ill be here to support u, whoo!)

8.ALL IN ALL, I LOVE IT I LOVE THIS I LOVE EVERYONE I LOVE YOU AUTHOR *runs over & hug you w/ consent* <333333333333

ok. um. that's not it but if i continue it's literally gonna be an essay so i'll stop.

author. i will die for this fic. ahaahahahah. if i may ask, what's ur fav IFs? (i really, really love this one so im kinda hoping maybe u have similar taste in IFs eheh. again, im sorry if this comes as rude or insensitive.) oh uh & if my long rambles bother u, i won't send it again sorry.

<333 okok. take care of urself, dont forget to eat healthy, drink water & good sleep. have a nice day :D

Wait. I think I might have missed replying to this I am so sorry!!! It gave me so so much joy. Maybe I subconsciously did not want it to leave my inbox haha.

1. And 2 -> THANK YOU!

3. Gosh this is such a great thing to hear. There are a looot of characters, and I definitely worry sometimes that it gets to be too much, but I think the IF is getting long enough for me to give enough-ish screentime to each character... though it takes me a while to cycle back to different side characters. I cant believe you remembered the cool ass girl in laser tag! :)

4. AWESOME to hear! 🥰

5. Yup, being a character driven IF, there will be a lot of romance (or friendship) beats / moments in the IF (which is already true now). The next couple of chapters will follow the same mix of sports, school and romance / hanging out, so you should already have a sense of how much romance there'll be (it'll just keep unfolding / developing for each of the RO routes!)

6. Hehe found family is my fave trope to insert in stories as well.

7. Hahaha aww oh no fictional college life is catching up to your real college life!!

8. HUG YOU BACK (with consent)!!🤗🤗

[nardonotes]

16 sep '24

8:18pm

IM SO TIRED!!!!! MY BODY HURTS!!!!!!!! I WANT TO SLEEP BUT I ALSO HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO DO!!!!!!!!!! (ᴗ_ ᴗ。) but today my alarm woke me up at 7am but i stayed in bed till 7:40... i slept well too and had a crazy dream but i forgot what happened,,, i just rmbr it being crazy (good-ish?) to the point where i wanted to go back to sleep to finish it but ended up just forcing myself out of bed,, fufufuff~ and THEN i went to class :< which is actually a :> cause it was fun! i did some black and white designs for design class and the two hours passed by so fast,, after that i had a 3 hrs break and just walked home, rest for a bit, then went out to town to send my cv to this photo printing shop (fujifilm) for my work experience. they said they dont usually take work experience (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) but it's ok cause i have two other places i can apply for work experience (it's mandatory in my course) i been going to fujifilm for years now, literally since it opened too, they know my name and email off by heart cause i always get my film develop there so i really hope they let me in!!!! it's only till christmas sniff.... BUT ANYWAYS, after i gave them that- i went to buy a sketchbook cause my lecturer said it would be a good idea just to have one where i can draw whatever and i bought one (1) pencil LOL.

then had a 2 hours class right after, but it was chill. nothing too serious and just worked on updating my cv and cover letter :3 after class, I WENT HOME AND ATE :D i dont usually like chicken but THIS CHICKEN WAS REALLY FUCKING GOOD MAN,,, i had it with rice and it was so filling. and while i was washing my dishes, my sisters arrived home and AFTER THEY ate,, we went to the park with my sisters friend and her baby. he's so big now sniff,, i rmbr when he was literally a few months old and tiny af. now he looks about 3 years old but hes only 1 years old. they're leaving to live in amsterdam in a month or two and it's so sad cause i only just got closer to her. it's ok tho cause amsterdam is close enough, and her parents still live here so she'll be in and out i think :)) we got gelato before going home and i got kinder bueno flavoured (THE LAST SCOOP TOO) it was so good. i dont usually eat ice cream out of the blue like that, i usually get a drink instead but since it was just a scoop i had some.

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

what a long ass day fr,, i know im going to sleep good tonight too. i bought Notes of a Crocodile, The Analects of Confucius, and The Temple of the Golden Pavilion on my kobo (ereader). I do plan to buy the physical copies of all three, but not right now and it was just cheaper to buy it on the ereader.. I've read a few chapters of the temple of the golden pavilion before but never continued but my bestiana spoiled the ending and now i want to finish it bc the ending was a good ahh ending (imo). i can't wait to read before i sleep tonight,, reading so fun huhuhhu..... (⸝⸝⸝╸▵╺⸝⸝⸝)

these days, i've been really into my lil tech stuff again and i really want to homebrew a ps vita. i homebrewed my old nintendo 3ds but sold it for a [REDACTED] reason lol. i think a ps vita is cooler anyways. i also been really into micro journalling and coding. btw i cant code but i do like listening to ppl talk about coding and what they've coded. i wish i was smart enough to do allat.. i think i could if i really put my heart to it but right now i'm really liking my course. ill probably talk about it some more in the future but for now, i have written a fucking book and nobody reading allat!!! so im going to do my little me time before bed time and then go to sleep ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

goodnight to me, and my precious bed, and my precious favourite girl in the world and and and- [GUNSHOTS]

[wolfblabbersaboutfujoandshipshit]

Incorrect Josuhan Quotes Cause Why Not

Rohan: Could you be anymore annoying? Josuke: Yes. 

-

Josuke: There. How do I look? Rohan: Like a cheap French harlot. Josuke: French?! 

-

Josuke: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween! Rohan: That doesn't exist. Josuke: Not with that attitude.

-

Josuke: Is this mistletoe? Rohan: Uh, no, no, that is basil. Josuke: Too bad cause if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you. Rohan: Yeah, no, it’s still basil. 

-

Rohan: I’ve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the “power nap” button. I don’t set up alarms, I set up timers, Josuke. 

-

Josuke: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Rohan, are a fucking cactus.

-

Rohan: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand. Josuke: I photosynthesize with this. 

-

Rohan: Josuke, we tried things your way. Josuke: No, we didn't. Rohan: I did it in my head and it didn't work. 

-

Rohan: I hate you sometimes. Josuke: Well according to this picture Koichi drew of us holding hands that's not true. Rohan: Josuke, you drew that. Josuke: It doesn't matter.

-

Josuke: *out cold on the ground* Koichi: Oh my god, do you think they’re okay?! Rohan, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! *dumps all of the water on Josuke’s face* 

-

Koichi: It’s funny how well you and Rohan get along. Didn’t they hate you at first? Josuke: Rohan hates everybody at first. It’s their way of reaching out to people. 

-

Rohan: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me. Josuke: But they said not to touch the masterpieces. Rohan: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall. Okuyasu, on a walkie talkie: This is Okuyasu, those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again. 

-

Rohan: Josuke annoyed me today so I told them that I can’t wait to see what they have planned for our special day tomorrow. Koichi: There is nothing special about tomorrow. Rohan: But there is something special about watching the color leave their face as panic takes over. 

-

Rohan: This food is too hot... I cant eat it. Josuke: You’re very hot, and I still eat you. Everyone at the table: *silence* Okuyasu: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING! Koichi: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

-

Josuke: I love you. Rohan: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that. *Josuke and Rohan kiss passionately* Koichi, to Okuyasu: You owe me 20 dollars. 

-

Okuyasu: I sleep with a gun under my pillow. Koichi: I sleep with a knife. Rohan: Both of you are pathetic. Okuyasu: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with? Rohan: Josuke. 

-

Okuyasu: What’s the announcement, Koichi? Koichi: It’s a lecture. Josuke’s gonna tell us everything they know about sex. Rohan: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds. 

-

Rohan: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Josuke and I are dating. Josuke, Okuyasu, Koichi, and Yukako: *gasp* Rohan: Josuke, why are you surprised?! 

-

Okuyasu: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple... Yukako: I really care about your feelings! Koichi: I really care about YOUR feelings! Okuyasu, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple... Rohan: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL! Josuke: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

-

Koichi: So anyways have y'all seen Rohan? Okuyasu: I think they went in Josuke's room 'studying'. Yukako: Doubt that. I heard groans there. *Meanwhile in Josuke's room* Rohan & Josuke, fighting:

-

Josuke: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Rohan: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

-

Josuke: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning. Rohan: This is a lie. Rohan: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie. Rohan: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS. 

-

Josuke: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreashing. Rohan: Are you a software update? because not right now. 

-

Josuke: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me? Rohan: Depends. Is your bed comfortable? Josuke: Yes. Rohan: I'd sleep. 

-

Rohan, to Josuke: We had a date! Rohan: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book* 

-

Rohan: I want to kiss you.

Josuke, not paying attention: What?

Rohan: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

-

i may do some giomis ones later desu

[laikinz]

ok update to that update i made a couple days ago i had a week long gallbladder infectiion then got pancreatitis then got sepsis and it took me going to the hospital like 3 separate times not even getting seen the first times to actually get them, to listen to me.. cause they love just telling me to take tylenol for my pain or something. happens everytime. i will be high heart rate confused throwing up dehydrated jaundice but i just need tylenol. so that week was really just so upsetting to me and im still recovering from it i still need to wait for surgery i still cant eat and have been sleeping the majority of the day

[youngpettyqueen]

1, 5, 17! 💜💜💜

ty Ally!! <3

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

generally I prefer to write one shots when it comes to fic! one shots can be so varied in terms of length and what they convey- you can do a scene, a whole story, 1k, 10k, I find the freedom of one shots really appealing. ive only ever written I think two multi-chapter fics, and while I do enjoy writing them, they are limited to being longer-form stories and theyre definitely more of a commitment to yourself and to your reading audience with having to update multiple chapters. its why I havent written another multi-chapter fic since 'and miles to go before i sleep'- I love that fic, I loved writing it, but if im going to write a multi-chapter fic it needs to be a story I really, really want to write and be able to hold my motivation so that I can keep writing it for however long it takes. a one shot can take me months to complete and thats fine cause nobody sees it till its done. if a multi-chapter fic takes me months I might be leaving people hanging, which I never want

(I dont think there's anything wrong with that, to be clear, making people wait- we write and provide this stuff for free and we can take as long as we want, I personally just struggle with some guilt over it because I cant help it lgdkjghd)

5. Do you like constructive criticism?

I dont mind it! I dont seek it out with fic, really, but I actively seek it out with my original writing. if I ever wanted constructive criticism on fic I would ask about it from people I know better within fic communities and fandoms, because I would know and trust that they'd be able to give me actual solid advice. I really dont feel the need for it, though, and thats not like. out of arrogance or anything. I dont think im above it. its just that fic is something I do for fun!

with my original writing I actively seek out constructive criticism and feedback. I think its essential to the process and I eat it up. something im excited for with the novel im working on is getting to send it to a literary agent, to editors, to sensitivity readers all so I can get that constructive criticism and that feedback on it

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

I usually try to force my way through it while chanting "its a rough draft it doesnt need to be good its a rough draft it doesnt need to be good its a-" until I can get something down that can be edited later. when this doesnt work, I turn away from the project im currently working on and I go to something else

one such example is when I had really bad block while writing 'and miles to go before i sleep' I turned to writing a few other one shots so that I could get the words flowing again. im a firm believer in writing every day, even if its just a few words, so working on other things really really helps me work through a block and not get stuck for months on end. im currently working through other WIPs while a specific one gives me a lot of trouble, and taking prompt requests the other day has really helped me get back on my groove! im working through the last request now which is a combo of the request itself and an older WIP I'd been struggling with, and its been nice to post writing again

[justfor2am]

ONE LAST ASK .i cant sleep so i finally read the first ssk i sent tsht u answered and i want u to go in2 more depth w the songs n playlists n shit u mentioned in there .this is separate from the other music ask yea 👍 gn for real probs. btw its so sad that my parrot emoji used to be mostly red like whatever the coloring people draw grian w idk names of any birds but owls but they changed it

🦜

^ idk what kind of phone u have but i have android .before my ohone updated he was a lil red guy n now hes GREEN .i had this fucker in my old discord theme thank god i changed it before it changed for me bc this HURTS goddamn i want my red fuckign bird bsck

ok gn 4 rral the whiplash of my music going from stray kids to stevie nicks is enough to make me pass out (do not let my listing of artist names fool u i only know one stevie nicks song n its edge of seventeen .the skz song was sunshine tho Btw)

AOUGH what did they do to my parrot boy.....

i don't know any songs by stevie nicks so tbh you've got me beat either way LMAO OKIE so analysis time uhhhh lemme see the post

It's Never Enough by we are the dirt: this song is thematically about an individual with rapidly declining mental health, seeking out a gruesome end to escape the bottomless emotions associated with a terrible breakup. it's melodramatic, it's way over blown, it's delightfully obscene in its depictions of bodily gore, it's soooooooo scarian.

as far as a fic goes, i would want to lean heavily into the vex cannibalism aspect that's canon to scar, with the setting being third life. a rotted corpse walking around the living with red in his eyes and barely contained inhuman hunger roaring in his ears? held only at bay because of "he" whom is now indebted to that corpse? who pledges him his first life and watches scar fall into insanity and in the end, strikes him down himself, that love which was the only thing keeping scar alive, not enough to save him in the end? sounds like a good hurt/no comfort fic to me.

some lyrics that i think especially apply: "‘Cause if I can't taste your lips just let me taste blood and nothing else." "They'll be with me in life and death and after I take my final breath, they'll crawl in through my rotting flesh and eat away my skin." "He said “don’t trust your eyes they always lie they always lie, only trust what you feel” but I feel you in my dreams and you're next to me and you're never real."

now, actor au!

grian: Don't Assume What You Don't Know by Grace VanderWaal -a song about being blindsided by an industry that promised you riches and fame, only to be cast aside at best, taken advantage of at worst jealousy, jealousy by Olivia Rodrigo -a song about being jealous of people who aren't competing with you, nor are they trying to make you feel inferior, but letting yourself get carried away with self-inflicted negative emotions You Stupid Bitch by girl in red -lightly tsundere grian my beloved. this is what he wants to scream at scar, if only he could admit to himself that he actually cares about him beyond a superficial, physical level.

scar: SCOOP by Lil Nas X feat. Doja Cat -a song about constantly being one step ahead of a ruthless industry that is just waiting for you to fail. Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High by Arctic Monkeys -a part of grian and scar's relationship that i haven't been able to explore yet, but i definitely will be making space for. -in short, grian's deadset on the rules in their "arrangement", but scar's already in love with him. being told that their private meetings are primarily contingent on them hooking up, and nothing more, isn't exactly easy for scar to process. Boyfriend by Dove Cameron -the person he pretends to be: suave, charming, a smooth-talker. while scar is capable of being all those features, in truth he wants to be this person to grian only. he wants to sweep grian off his feet and be able to say that openly.

[lolitababygirl666]

yea so i fell in love with a girl b.h/u at my halloween party then i was a fucking dick and we kinda grew apart.on new years eve i confessed and h/u with her best friend lmaooo but she rejected me i told her all the reasons i liked her and eventually loved her si told me she loved me as a friends (bitch) ahaha ummm i am not dyslexic funny enough my parents just gave so little fucks ab me that they didnt even bother to help me learn to write corectlly..fun!I h/u with e for s's sake and then they h/u i was GOBSMACKED but eh then i started sa ma combin with c a new character (a sweet heart oml) who's e's best friend (was??hihi) i'm no longer friends with s 3 days ago was my birthday im 15 now i fell no different i still hopw to go to bucharest and i still have my parents i think i matured a bit but my triggeres can still light up. I have new friends and i can't wait to have fun this summer!!i'm going to update this place more often(i hope hihi)i still want to lose weight but at least i have tits now!im gonna get a perm this summer if i dont dye my hair red.It helped me wrte here tonight.i cant sleep for the past few days.I dont feel stressed even tho the exam is close i did however have incredible anxiety for the whole fucking year i cried so much gained weight lost nights and my sanity for this shit OF A FUCKING EXAM i cant wait for it to be over.i lost all my interest i no longer do anything else than tutoring and hw.I dont have philosofical disscusions bc i dont allow myself to think about anything else than the exam when s and e h/u i was so incredibly hurt i couldnt eat for 3 days and my anxiety flared up like the sun and all i could tell myself was "keep the pain away with math exercises" i was devasted over b for months and it distracted me bc i dissasociated but it was still my only priority to study i couldnt work on myself i couldnt develop my interest i couldnt take care of myself i think i literally never had less showers in my life i gained a ton of weight bc the stress got to me.i love my friends but i srly cant trust anyone anymore everyone has an alterior motive or smth to hurt me with im emotionally numb but its better to keep it that way at least before and during the exam i care about NOTHING but the exam.I'm going to succsed.I have to. I've sacruficed so fucking much.I can't wait to see my therapist she is the coolest!