#so i think focusing on them instead is not only a better decision in terms of consistency and storytelling but it's just the more realistic

[dariusaurs]

i think dinostar is such an interesting ship right now even if i've kind of turned away from it after this season. the problem is that it's complicated, and fandoms historically don't like nuanced situations or takes. i don't think it's fair to say darius is putting brooklynn on a pedestal, since from his perspective, she hasn't done anything wrong, and kenji has been framed as this unfair partner to her. it does feel like his feelings are very immature and more of an infatuation right now ("if he loved you half as much.."/"unless?"), especially when you compare them to kenji's own feelings for brooklynn - his girlfriend who he's loved for 6 years - but that isn't a horrible thing, it's just different. i do completely understand if people dislike the ship right now, and even criticize darius' way of handling the accidental confession, but i just think people have been way too harsh on all three of them without being willing to see that all of their perspectives are different

[translucio]

more veilguard thoughts! minor spoilers below cut

stuff im liking:

still having fun with combat

level design has been good, tons to explore, solid puzzles. beautiful environments. im liking how distinct and lived in the big cities are feeling.

i am liking lucanis more than i expected.....i know Everyone is simping over him but.. i might have to as well and romance him instead of bellara 🙈

im liking how bite sized the codex entries are. makes it easy to read them all on pickup whereas in inquisition sometimes it was like godddd i want the lore but i dont wanna read five pages right now

petting cats and dogs! i love the haptic purring, that's a really good way to do it (i would honestly love to see that polished even further with variations + meowing/whining/sniffing/licking sounds thru the controller but hey, it's a tiny part of the game and what they have is fine)

the resource economy is feeling pretty decent to me, im motivated to seek out collectables, i buy stuff from vendors often, i understand the upgrade system enough to inform my decisions. it feels very god of war or ghost of tsushima. so my only worry is that i might just get bored of it after many hours as i did in those games (which, i think the solution to that is for the level design to keep things interesting and satisfying enough that theyre rewarding even without the collectibles. so we'll see)

stuff im not really liking

overall plot so far feels Just Okay. but i felt that way about 2 and inquisition too lol

it is actually starting to really bum me out that you can't talk to people at will. like, the lack of dialogue choices in it, for a bioware game, is troubling to me. these settings and characters are interesting and filling me with many questions! i want to be able to dive deeper into them, but i just cant. you just get barks for all the world npcs. and the lack of choices really makes rook feel more like a prewritten/predestined character rather than one that's really yours to characterize. i realize it's a lot of writing and voice acting $$ to have that many dialogues, but that's one of the main selling points for bioware games for me... and it feels weird that other games are now doing it better than dragon age.

similarly the lack of continuity of choices from previous games makes me sad.

i still haven't gotten all that far, but i am several hours in at this point, and i gotta say i am kinda missing side quests a bit... related to the point about lacking world dialogue, but the world is feeling a little bit underwhelming in terms of the character and lore context/depth that i find myself wanting. which was a big problem for me in inquisition as well. like sure, there are collectables and hidden paths and puzzles to navigate through, and those are absolutely a huge improvement over inquisition's. but those don't give life and flavor and narrative depth to the environment the way that having meaningful interactions with npcs does. the barks are nice, but they leave me wanting significantly more in terms of interaction and depth.

im gonna keep comparing it to god of war (2018 - haven't played ragnarok yet) since that's really the closest thing its reminding me of. and while i loved god of war, i did feel like its world was very lonely. it made up for it with its extremely honed in narrative focus on the journey of the two established characters, and the quality of its writing and voice acting both for their dialogues and the few quests with other characters. it's not a game about the setting or how it shapes the characters that live there, it's about a grieving father and son who happen to be gods.

whereas dragon age IS about its world almost as much as it is about its characters. and with such a rich setting with three prior entries to build on, it seems kind of a shame to let players explore all these places we've heard about but not meaningfully interact with the characters there outside of Big Epic Story Moments or companion-focused quests, especially when you could in the previous games.

anyway.... much to think about... still enjoying it, still have more thoughts as i keep playing

[livelaughghoul]

Oscar Piastri Personality and Career Tarot Reading

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only, nothing observed or taken away from this should be considered fact. As a reminder, I know fuck all about Formula 1, I just like fast cars and have a dumb amount of knowledge of astrology and tarot. 

Since I am just recently getting in F1, the first race I actually watched was the Hungary GP. Which like, what an introduction to the sport. Since then I have watched a lot of the replays from prior races, but my knowledge outside of the track is nonexistent. Having this be my first introduction to Oscar was interesting, and I think that there is a lot to unpack there between the team dynamic and the way they approach and relay information to both Oscar and Lando. I may end up doing a reading on two of them at some point, but we will see how I am feeling. 

This spread is actually amazing to me, because we have one of the better Swords followed with a slew of Cups. I love that we are mixing Swords and Cups (even if we are Cup dominated), because Swords are very self focused, almost interalized, whereas Cups are incredibly emotional. I think that it specifically being the Two of Swords really telling, especially with the specific correlation of the Cups we pulled. 

I really love this spread, like a lot. I usually don’t care much for wanting to learn more about the people on the grid, but I actually am interested in getting to know more about him because this is just so interesting to me. I might actually look into someone other than Jenson Button, Sebastian Vettel, and Kimi Raikkonen (honestly I owe that anon SO MUCH, because you truly have made my life so much better with these men). 

Outward personality - Two of Swords

This card has a soft spot in my heart because it absolutely is the introvert card. It’s protective in nature, and more reserved. While I don’t think it’s a full avoidance of feeling or expressing things, but it definitely is a more thought out or silent approach to emotions and expressing them. Since things are more reserved, there is going to be a lot to go through to develop a friendship or relationship with Oscar. I see a lot of people referring to him as a cat (which is hilarious, I love this), and I think that is really seen in this card positioning. Cats take time to develop trust in people, but when they do, it’s lifelong and so rewarding. Cats are also really good at masking how they really feel, I think that there is a lot of masking and hiding of things in terms of how he is feeling or what is being experienced. 

Inward personality - Ten of Cups

Interally, once you break past the resting bitch face and flat affect, you feel nothing but valued, delight, and at home. The Ten of Cups is like, coming home to your family after a long day at work and just getting to feel valued and at home. It’s a happiness, feeling fulfilled and loved. I love the switch up of the outward personality being this like professional brickwall, and then on the inside there is this soft gooey center filled with love and affection.

Current career - Queen of Cups, reversed

I’m not a huge fan of this one when it comes to the career, because I think that this has the possibility of being too willing to take everything lying down, allowing others to essentially make the decisions for you, and almost put yourself in a secondary or lower positioning. There is a lot of tenderness in this card, and I think that while yes, Oscar absolutely can be aggressive and challenge things, I think that there is alot of hesitancy in this. There is going to be this patience and accepting of whatever he is told to do. It absolutely tells me that he is a team player, but I think that there may be too much of prioritizing of others instead of himself. 

Future career - Three of Cups, reversed

No matter where he goes in his career, who is on a team with, or what his support team looks like, this man is making friends and building a community wherever he goes. Oscar is going to be able to foster a community wherever he ends up, and this is going to make work so much smoother, especially when there is a transitional period that happens. 

[fictionfixations]

honestly so happy that its easier to grind in hsr then genshin cause im actually able to properly build my characters instead of whatever mess i had in that game (i got the right artifacts but trying to get materials for anything was a bit of a pain to me)

also that the resin (i dont know what its called in this game im using genshin terms) can like. overflow into this other thing??? is. so helpful. (i stopped playing at one point so i just came back to both being full. and then when i realized what it actually did it was a godsend because it made it so much easier to fully commit to grinding. i know in genshin you can make the resin this little thing? condensed?? but thats a thing you have to do yourself i think)

all im missing is leveling up the lightcones and traces

and im only missing the traces because i already used up weekly bosses. THATS IT.

robin and ratio have the same boss material so all i have to do then is get the other resources which isnt actually that hard (ill only have an issue if i cant material synthesis or exchange or whatever since i need to do it for the robin stuff that you get from enemies that can ambush you, i dont know what you refer to them as, but cause i havent unlocked penacony yet lol)

and the only lightcones that might give me issue is because highlighted is penacony material stuff

(yes i put final victor on ratio LMFAO)

so YEAHH i feel like im doing pretty good in that department. also ive caught up to penaconys story i just havent started in-game because i wanted to see where it all leads up to and then go back to see all the foreshadowing and get a better understanding of what happened since it also confused me, so im waiting for a time i can just sit there for countless hours and focus. i even switched to eng vas so i dont end up misreading something

(anyway i only got to trying to max out my characters as much as i can until i can level them higher because before i got stuck on so many quests that required a fight 😭, yanqing, argenti, i hate battling you oh my god)

actually on that topic everyones relics arent fully maxed out.

ive only been leveling this cause 5 star dan heng is my main damage dealer

and the healer because im fucked without them (its natasha, but im open to changing it if i find a better healer or shield 🙏)

on that topic:

i returned to honkai star rail because aventurine. i focused on the story because aventurine. (got spoiled his story, realized 'what the fuck hes cool i like him' and watched someone go through the story) i came back in time for his banner but you know what? i had like zero wishing stuff because id stopped playing so i missed out unfortunately

i have friends who have aventurine as like one of the support characteres thingy tho? like the the where you can get support from other peoples characters

so thats been fun. but also auto is kind of bad with aventurine. or maybe because it thinks 'oh theres already a shield, so i wont e' which is pain. on the other hand actually playing instead of having it on auto is fun with aventurine. i like planning around it and thinking of who to have use their skills while keeping in mind when i should have him refresh his shield. i cant explain to you how it hurts seeing hp missing with a shield around it because i cant do anything about it (im the type of person who likes to keep my characters hp full ngl)

probably not the best decision to want shield over a healer but. i can make it work. maybe. i just want aventurine ok. (except for phantylia who as far as im aware is the only one who can just TAKE hp like that? without even affecting shields???)

[moltensmusings]

I have a question about your RWBY au: how would you handle teams facing consequences when making a big decision that backfires?

My problem with RWBY is that despite making choices that should had have consequences (telling government secrets to Robyn hill, pointing a gun at Whitney, agrus incident etc) the characters instead get rewarded for their actions.

What will you do differently?

I apologize because this got long and maybe veered a bit from the original question but here we go.

For a TL;DR: we need better world building, more apparent character flaws the narrative actively calls out, and villains to be dangerous

I think the main issue with why RWBY never had proper consequences, is that it largely operated (and still somewhat does) on rule of cool. Characters are powerful when the plot demands it in ways that kind of make the stakes feel nonexistent.

To properly implement consequences for characters we need to know what their flaws are and what they could get as punishment if those flaws aren't handled.

Our characters have some referenced flaws, but often times their flaws either never get checked because the writers don't view them as flaws needing to be fixed, or they're excused in canon. Bad things don't happen to them mainly because they mess up, they happen because bad people do bad things.

While pyrrha is the character I'm most annoyed about with the lack of depth, all of them are written to be cool and kind of flawless. So first step is I'd set up clear flaws from volume 1 and have them face consequences that will carry over long term. Here are some examples.

Ruby: For Ruby I feel like she tends to focus on handling things herself. She's incredibly self reliant to the point that she makes a lot of choices to do things solo that ultimately could get her killed. But the writers never go that far. She faces off against Cinder twice and leaves unscathed, if we're going to have her track Cinder to the tower, Ruby needs to leave wounded. Allowed to live because Cinder let her. Give her a scar that remains on her for the rest of the series. Maybe it's normally covered but it's a reminder of the dangers she faces. And even then we don't have to have her learn her lesson yet.

Yang is one where her consequences will effect the Atlas arc. Because I want her semblance to make her black out when she rages. Something she never focused on fixing because normally she could direct it before she blacks out so that the only person hurt is the one who caused the rage. Her teachers keep warning her of the damage she does to the area around her and how her black outs get longer the angrier she is. But she kind of waves it off because she's had this semblance for years and she knows how to deal with it.

However during the vytal festival when there are several competitions between schools and we build up a rivalry between team villain and team rwby we see her anger boiling. She's containing it and does a good job for a while, but the Mercury fight is the last straw. When she attacks Mercury its not just that she hits him once, in fact the villains new her rage made her black out and expected her to hit once. She downs him bad. She has to be restrained and the entire of remnant bears witness to her building rage culminating in her pummeling a kid from a different school. And when she attacks Adam that's once more her lashing out before thinking leading to her arm loss. When she travels she's met with wariness and fear because people know her as the girl that destroys.

Her six month hiatus is not just full of her wallowing over her arm, but angry over everything and raging out sporadically. I'd honestly give taiyang the same semblance as her being the one to help her train to properly control it. But the shadow of her actions won't disappear and people will try to exploit that weakness if she doesn't curb it.

For Blake it would be her being a traitor and running. RWY need their trust regained by her that she'll have to actively work towards doing so but it won't just be them. In Atlas Ironwood knows her past because he would've run checks on any people if interest and found her connection to Adam who was one of the people leading the attack on Beacon and subsequently also was the leader of a group that attacked Argus. Finding out she was a loyal follower of him almost her entire life means that she isn't let into the inner circle and in fact spends most of her stay in Atlas monitored and on probation. The group vouches for her but that can only pacify someone like Ironwood slightly.

For Weiss I'd have her actually be very loyal to authority figures in a way that often causes arguments between her team and her. In Atlas it would cause a major fight because if Yang were to spill secrets to Robyn, Weiss would probably avoid speaking to her for a decent amount of time. I think by that point she'd not outright tell Ironwood herself, but she would be furious at the disrespect. It would mean that more often than not, she's causing unnecessary disagreements in the group but it would also mean that she knows best how to handle people in places like Atlas.

Largely I'd just have a big focus on how dumb choices they make effect their relationships with people outside of the core group. Revealing secret information leads to Penny becoming very disappointed in them and a slight breakdown in the friendship. Potientially if Yang did it without talking to the others it now means Yang gets into a verbal fighting match with the rest of the gang because everything starts to go wrong.

Going off to fight things alone or not properly training means you get into situations that could maim or kill you. Trusting anyone too easily can result in someone dangerous entering your group with the intent to cause harm.

In general I'd really just focus on building flaws, turning down power levels at the start, and making the world and villains more dangerous. Also I think making each kingdom distinctly different in its politics and government could've helped make it so that the group trying to approach all situations the same backfires a lot. It's something I'd have to rewatch the show for to list specific instances of things I'd make consequences for but those are my current notes.

[grimgrazia]

Doors and Denji:

Doors are a common motif in CSM and hold many meanings. They act as a gateway to Hell, a metaphor for repressing trauma, and a symbol of the unknown. I believe they have some other meanings as well, but I’ll touch on those later. This is just the beginning of my analysis for now, and it focuses on Denji’s dream. This isn’t really an analysis on Denji’s character, I plan to do one for him later on. Also let me know if there are other parts of CSM I should analyze. I make plans for an analysis and then school gets in the way so I’ll forget about whatever I wanted to do.

The door in Denji’s dream is one of the most notable parts of the series. Behind the door are suppressed memories from Denji’s traumatic childhood. Each time he has this dream, a voice tells him not to open the door, and he doesn’t. I think it’s important to note that Denji shut those memories away himself. Denji doesn’t need permission to open that door because it’s his door. That being said, suppressing memories is a common response to trauma, so Denji is never aware of the fact he can choose to confront his past or not, because he forced himself to forget. After the Darkness Devil arc, Denji decides he is better off not opening the door, and he’s learned that knowledge isn’t always a great thing.

The door isn’t just locking trauma away, it’s also a symbol for the unknown. There is no foreshadowing or hints as to what could be behind that door in the manga, all we know is that it’s probably not good. We find out at the same time Denji does, when Makima forces that door open. Why would Denji want to open a door that most likely has something bad behind it? Why would anyone want to do that? Even in real life, no one can be 100% sure of what is behind a door (unless it’s transparent but that doesn’t apply here.) It’s kind of like putting a cat in a box and leaving it there for a long time. The cat could be dead, alive, or missing but it’s uncertain until you open the box again. Does the cat even exist still if you can’t see it anymore? (Plz tell someone knows this story I’m talking about). The closed door, like the unknown, leaves room for POSSIBILITY. Denji can’t know for certain what is behind that door until he opens it and sees for himself. To Denji, Aki might not be a fiend until he opens the door, just like the cat might not be dead until you open the box, if that makes sense.

Also, this room for possibility can make finding out the truth even more harmful. In Oedipus Rex, Oedipus was so sure of himself and his life. To be fair, he had no reason to believe that he was unsuccessful in avoiding his fate. His entire life was a lie. Denji remembers his father’s death as a suicide, instead of killing him in self defense. Like Oedipus, Denji had come to terms with a lie. Accepted it and moved on. It only makes sense for Oedipus and Denji to react with pure horror when learning or remembering years later. For so long, they believed they knew what happened. They were sure, so there was no need to think about it anymore. Everything in their lives were not as they appear, both Oedipus’ skepticism and Denji’s tendency to trust easily did more harm than good because of it. Neither of them did anything wrong, they simply responded to their respective situations. Responding to the circumstances is really the only control anyone truly has.

Unlike Oedipus, Denji is okay with not knowing what is behind that door. Denji can accept that he does not know everything, doesn’t need to know everything, and never will know everything. It’s impossible and attempting to do so can cause more trouble than it’s worth, like in Oedipus’ case. Learning about something that happened in the past won’t change anything, what’s done is done.

Denji’s decision to not open it can be interpreted in a few ways. You could see it as healthy and as Denji moving forward. He has a great bond with Aki and Power, he’s content with his life, why jeopardize it? Even so, this could also be seen as Denji avoiding the door. The door would have opened eventually, it was inevitable. The question was if Denji would do it himself. Denji wasn’t ready to open it yet. It’d be healthy if Denji confronts his trauma on his own terms, but that’s not what happens. Makima forces that door open on purpose. She’s well aware Denji isn’t ready, so she sees this as the perfect opportunity to ensure he can’t bounce back. That he can never live a normal life, thus breaking his contract with Pochita. Confronting trauma and healing from it is a slow process, but people can still move forward and live normal lives. However, it becomes extremely difficult when you’re overwhelmed by all of it in the matter of seconds.

Even though Denji CHOSE not not open the door after the Darkness Devil Arc, it opens anyways later on. The door was always going to open, it’s something Denji never would have been able to avoid. What he can do, is control how he reacts to it, but he doesn’t realize this immediately. Makima is counting on the fact that after what happened to Aki and Power, on top of forcing the door open, Denji won’t be able to move forward. If she is confident in Denji’s reaction, she has control. She orchestrated everything so she could be certain that Denji will be totally hopeless, and never live normally. She understands it’s difficult to control how people respond to things, especially when someone has lived a life like Denji’s.

“Time eases all things,” is a famous line from Oedipus Rex. By this, Creon means that over time, people move on or at least find ways to cope so that they can go about their daily lives. Makima realizes that after Himeno’s death, Denji does not get attached nor is he fazed easily. I think this is when she realizes she can’t just throw him into horrific situations, but must build his ideal life, let him be happy, and then rip it all away. The deaths of Aki and Power being so close to one another was crucial to this too, because Makima didn’t want to give Denji time to process what happened, or “ease the wounds.”

Makima becoming a mother figure for Denji contributed a lot as well. Fujimoto stated in an interview that their relationship is based off abuse from documentaries he watched. Unhealthy family dynamics cause conflicting feelings, especially if they are all you have. If Kishibe did not get to Denji in time, Makima’s plan definitely would have worked. Makima made Denji believe that he had no where else to go, he had no choice but to die. It’s in the safe room with Kishibe and Kobeni that Denji realizes he has not reached a dead end, or rather, reaching a dead end on one path doesn’t mean the same will happen on another path. He does what the mouse in Kafka’s “A Little Fable” couldn’t do: change his direction.

I hope this makes sense, I feel like I got off topic. Anyways, this doesn’t even scratch the surface of CSM, but this is all I have energy for right now sorry.

[rukimakino-heirofheart]

🔥Puella Magi Madoka Magica

🔥Renaruki

🔥 MadoMagi:

The original anime was pretty mediocre and had a mediocre soundtrack. Its fatal flaw is that it tries to center itself around a single main character (Madoka Kaname herself) whose viewpoint we see the world through, but her characterization physically cannot get focus in this format in an anime, because you just don't get to see how deeply screwed up her worldview is if you never know what she's thinking. Consequently, you actively lose information by telling the story in a format other than a novel or VN. (Observant viewers may recognize this as the same ultimate problem behind why adapting FSN for the screen inherently requires getting more exposit-y about Shirou's deal.) Ultimately, I wholeheartedly recommend skipping the MadoMagi TV anime entirely; most of the best parts of the Puella Magi Series are elsewhere and don't expect familiarity with a disappointing TV anime. (The Different Story, Rebellion, and Wraith Arc escape this curse by not being Madoka-centric, instead focusing on more conventional protagonists in Kyouko and Homura.)

Rebellion was a perfectly fine ending in and of itself, and it doesn't need a sequel. The only reason I'm interested in Walpurgis no Kaiten's existence is that it seems to be going so far out of left field that I kind of have to entertain it and find out what the cook is.

Of the "classic" Puella Magi titles (pre-2017, i.e. before Magia Record), I'd rank them like this:

Puella Magi Tart Magica - Masugitsune

Puella Magi Oriko Magica - Kuroe Mura

Extended Puella Magi Madoka Magica Series - Gen Urobuchi (TV, Rebellion, Wraith Arc) & Masaki Hiramatsu (TDS) & Hanokage (Wraith Arc)

Puella Magi Suzune Magica - GAN

Puella Magi Kazumi Magica - Masaki Hiramatsu

Rankings of Tart and Oriko may be swapped depending on how I'm feeling that day.

This is not to say that Suzune and Kazumi are bad manga, but the former quite infamously ran into production troubles and the latter bit off way more than it could chew, and it shows. Kazumi has a lot of cool plot ideas and themes in play but reading it for the first time can feel like being subjected to a plot point firing squad. The original manga run of Suzune was good but not spectacular -- it didn't truly get to shine until the MagiReco crossover events started happening. (It has been 1200 days since the last Suzune event...)

MagiReco fans often describe Arc 2 as "when it gets good," and it's common to write off Arc 1 entirely as an extended prologue, however I do still maintain that Arc 1 is a good story on its own terms. You can feel the weight of the production issues (there's a very noticeable midpoint shift where a major rewrite happened) but it's still a perfectly fine and coherent story. Most of what the fandom writ large likes to call "flaws of Arc 1" are just, intentional foreshadowing.

When AniReco (the companion anime to MagiReco that tells a completely separate story)'s final batch of episodes originally came out that fateful April 3, I gave the production as a whole a massive side-eye (I distinctly remember logging on and asking a chatroom I was in "what is even happening?? Why is the anime Folklore of Zero propaganda all of the sudden?? Wait, Neo Dorothy Motherfucker???? Huh??????"), but I've since warmed up to it. It's its own thing, and you have to have its place in the series' cosmology and the showrunner's goals in writing it explained to you first before you start watching, and it makes some writing decisions I find to be questionable, but it did a remarkably good job for a series that was slashed from 39 episodes down to 25 halfway through.

Apparently this is a hot take now: I like Nagisa Momoe's actual backstory as detailed in MagiReco a hell of a lot better than "dumb idiot child wished for cheese instead of healing her ailing mother." The collected Nagisa cycle of MagiReco stories makes her arguably the single most interesting member of the Holy Quintet.

I want more Kyubey worldbuilding, goddammit! We know precious little -- the Incubators were created by an advanced alien civilization (local expert Touka Satomi, A1C9), and their tissue is analogous to stem cells and can be reconfigured on the fly (Kosane Kiriha, NMG) -- and I need to know more! What were the progenitors like? Did they wipe themselves out? Actually, now that I think about it, are Incubators like Touhou's shikigami where you take fleshy hardware and flash it with your own artificial intelligence? We know a human can control one (Madoka uses LoC-branded pink Incubators for surveillance purposes) and we know a human can have their soul shoved into one losslessly (mokyu!), so like, what are the limitations here? Hell, the Pleiades made their own once! It sucked at its job, but it existed! How did they do that? Tell meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I think that even in the absence of the Automatic Purification System, being a magical girl is just kind of objectively better than being human. You get to opt out of mortality, you get private(-ish) telepathic communication for free, you get a shrunken hitbox -- no more worrying about workplace safety hazards as long as you protect the gem! -- you get a weirdly specific personal magic that varies in effectiveness from Konomi's baton pass to Iroha's localized time reversal, and even if you don't get something useful you still have a magical weapon that you can spawn on command. That's even before we get into the existence of Coordinators, and the logical applications of their Adjustment magic in gender-affirming care. To be quite honest, if Kyubey ever had reason to approach me, my wish would probably just straight-up be "immediately megucify every human who exists right now and every human who will ever exist in the future regardless of energy cost."

I'm scared of the new Magia Exedra mobage's existence because (1) it's very prominently advertised as being Quintet-centric and I'm sick and tired of the Quintet, and (2) there's a nonzero chance it will take resources away from Magia Record to focus instead on what seems, if the credits on the website are to be believed, to be a shitty autobattler. MagiReco is the best thing the Puella Magi Series has ever done and I want it to survive well past its tenth anniversary.

🔥 RenaRuki:

Okay, seriously, did the entire Tamers fandom collectively forget that, past a certain part of the D-Reaper arc, none of the Primary Colors are actually human anymore? Because it feels like I'm the only one who's acknowledging this, despite the fact that "Ruki, alienated from humanity, voluntarily gives it up, while Renamon, aligned with humanity, is a trans woman" seems like a pretty obvious thread to work with, and being turned into a digital life-form offers plenty of opportunities for neat body horror, not even to mention how this affects the ways in which Ruki's Candy timeline counterpart has steadily been getting worse for two decades.

[Side note: I really need better names for the "more canon" movie timeline that's relevant, essential and true, and the "less canon" drama CD timeline that isn't. If I keep calling them Meat and Candy I'm going to get weird looks from the non-Homestucks.]

I swear I had more observations I was going to put here but I got sidetracked. Might add on a reblog later.

[ca-suffit]

somehow I missed this post but let's get into it now. this is only a small part of a larger post made by all the white fandom ppl.

this theory they all have and keep repeating is racist af. it's even worse because these aren't white ppl saying this.

these ppl need to protect the white character so much that they're weaponizing their races (even the black ppl) to be antiblack af. they're taking gigantic steps over acknowledging the v simple fact that everything lestat does makes sense when ur able to recognize racial differences *as the show wants u to do.* it's not bad writing, it's not "gringo writers." it's moving the characters through a world without being anne rice stupid about it. also louis was *not* the aggressor in the book and the story is *always* about *both* of them escaping from lestat. it's about parenthood in the ways that frankenstein is about parenthood. it's not just about how louis fails claudia, it's how lestat failed louis, how lestat failed claudia, how they all constantly fail *each other.* and the show is giving us that too! fucking idiots! I thought u were big readers, u can't see this?! how fucking sad!!

u can tell this story of lestat being abusive as a white man to his black partner (and black child) and have it be true just fine. this happens irl all the fucking time. if it was rly that fucked up, there'd be no black ppl in the fandom. this group is so fucking antiblack, they not only shove the characters aside to center the white guy and excuse his abuse six different ways, they bully black fans and make sure nobody gets to hear any black opinions that aren't those voices who only center and protect whiteness.

anyways, lestat can do all of this and still come back around to healing with louis. it's only "bad writing" to ppl who have never emotionally matured. which would be everyone who has to go this hard defending white ppl instead of just saying this is all happening because this was racially conscious casting. this story is focused on race. these are real issues in interracial relationships, even now. it's patriarchy. it's slavery. it's blurring lines on purpose. It's not "some cheap Lifetime movie plot" u ignorant fucking bitch.

let me get to my other point tho. they want u to ignore race, they want u to think it's bad writing, they want u to think *they're* the smart, book educated ppl. they repeat their own fanon in a group to manipulate u to thinking it's "the smartest" decision by "smart" ppl. it's just a bunch of antiblack bullshit.

lestat having done this fr and louis having to come to terms with that is real. that is prbly what the show is going to hit hard on. that lestat did that and claudia got the most fucked by it because louis was still unable to leave him. and u can still create healing from that with loustat because, as this group loves to remind us, they're *vampires* and they have literally *forever* to fix their shit.

these book ppl want us to rush through twenty books just to stop criticizing white lestat and making them feel bad about liking him. there's no reason to be rushing the books in part two of fucking *IWTV.* they are so STUPID. and they want us to be too. but sorry, we're not all fucking buying it.

louis *has* to attempt suicide because he becomes aware that claudia manipulated him into killing lestat because of her own pain at being forced into vampiric existence by both of them? so all of the manipulation and violence and lying liars is only aimed at black ppl then? lestat is gonna walk away taking accountability for nothing, being the victim of a bunch of black liars, and u think that's the better version? u think that's rly gonna happen?

I need u to understand how fucking deeply racist all of this shit goes. it is evil levels of it. it is planned levels of it. this group is so fucked in the head and they need u to buy into it so badly so they can feel rly smart and get one over on black fans.

u need to know this is fucking garbage. it's not deep, it's not insightful, it's just antiblack shit from the same fucking group who is always bringing u antiblack shit dressed up in ways they think they're being slick about. I need these ppl to choke and cry and throw up when this shit does not happen in the show, because it is v much not going to.

fuck every single goddamn one of u.

[valemya]

🍄🧸 for the asks! :)

thanks for the asks!

🍄 mushroom: tell me about your dr family!

Certainly! In terms of biological family... I went the route 99% of shifters go- they're just not around. Being a jedi and all it would be difficult for them to be present in my life anyway, so to make it easier I just don't really know them because I haven't seen them since before I was taken to the order.

There is one exception though and it's a bit of a weird one tied to my other (star wars rebels) DR, which I have had for a looong time. Basically in that DR Ezra Bridger is my (non-biological) brother, yknow grew up together, lived together the whole deal. I faced a great deal of emotional torment when I decided to create my tcw DR, because I felt like I would be "cheating" on rebels by focusing on another DR. A friend of mine helped me realise it was alright to put that DR on the backburner for a little while, and besides I could just script Ezra in my tcw DR with me? So then came the epiphany I literally could just bring Ezra with me to my new DR, and that was genuinely really comforting and made me feel a lot better about my decision to make the tcw DR.

Anyway boring backstory aside, there is one exception and it's Ezra. The only difference is that in my tcw DR he's my second cousin (and my padawan!!) cause I thought it would be reeeally funny if I was just randomly assigned a padawan that coincidentally had the same last name as me, thinking there was no relation, until one day obi wan goes digging in the jedi archives or something and finds out oh shit! you guys are cousins fr!

Someone: *reading off a report* General Bridger and.... Commander... Bridger? Is that like your son or something?

Ezra and I, at the same time: we are NOT related!!!

Obi wan: ...😶

So that covers the biological side... but I know you're really here for the found family bit. I'd say that I consider just about everyone family, especially all the clones, but I'll rattle off a few really significant people quickly.

My old master Depa is for sure the mother figure in my life. And yes she's still keeping me in check even after I've long passed my trials and officially gotten out of her hair in the eyes of the Order. By extension, Caleb (Kanan) is someone I'd consider like a half-brother and don't worry, I make sure he and Ezra get to hang out a lot.

Obviously growing up with Anakin I'd consider him family too, and that means Obi Wan on some level as well. To me Obi Wan is kind of like a wine aunt. Will not be elaborating further. Ahsoka feels like a niece.

Despite legally becoming my brother-in-laws at some point, I do consider a lot of the clones to be either very close friends or some kind of familial figure I can't really place. Naturally some are closer to me than others such as Rex and the 501st or the Bad Batch, but I think I bond with them all pretty well.

Tech of course holds the most special place in my heart as my future husband.

...I think that covers it...

🧸 teddy: do you have a favourite childhood memory from your dr?

This one actually had me stumped for a while. I honestly, genuinely have not thought about my life before the war too much, certainly not as a child really. If I had a favourite memory of anything from my childhood it would be a toss up between:

When I was a brand new admission to the Order and didn't really know anyone or even my place in it all, I would spend most of my time in the temple library/archives. The lovely librarian Jocasta Nu was super kind to me, and I continued to spend time in there over the years and even kind of wanted to work within that area because of her kindness. Turned out not to be as I got assigned to the war instead, but the memory is still pleasant.

OR

The early days when I was chosen as Depa's padawan. Getting to know her and what she stands for and learning from her and meditating together is just such a nice bonding activity. She's super supportive and a very grounded teacher, and I think my eyes would have been sparkling watching her do all these cool things and then receiving her guidance on these same things until I was able to master them myself. Just so cool. I think she's a great jedi and a great teacher too.

And there you have it! my essay responses to your asks! hope you've enjoyed and thanks again for the submission!

[tumblydovereviews]

In Defense of Caillou

Growing up, my family was one of the very few who weren't avid members of the Caillou hate wagon. It was, and still is, one of my dad's favorite shows that I watched as a kid, and he was genuinely surprised when I revealed to him all the hate the show has managed to amass. I watched plenty of Caillou as a kid, and I'm happy to report that I came out perfectly normal, if not a bit energetic for my age.

Yes, Caillou is not a perfect show by any means. With the characters having little-to-no personality outside of existing in this hairless child's kingdom, annoying voices, and the infamous tantrum scenes, it's no wonder why this show has become so hated, and still is to this day. But I don't think I'm being too generous when I say that Caillou has some merit to it that I feel is overlooked by the general public.

Contrary to public belief, Caillou isn't actually a lonely cancer patient or an alopecia victim- he is actually based off a French book series that originally depicted him as a baby rather than a toddler. To make sure kids could still recognize him even with the age increase, it was decided that Caillou would remain bald. In my personal opinion, I think the creators made the right call. Young kids are still learning how to recognize differences, and chances are if Caillou did have hair, the sudden change in appearance would be overwhelming. It may be weird to us older people, but to kids, keeping Caillou as recognizable as possible was a serviceable move.

A lot of people tend to forget that Caillou is a four-year-old, which is surprising considering that it is established in the literal first line of the theme song (I'm just a kid whose four.) Being four, Caillou is destined to have tantrums, moments where he acts bratty and less than a saint. The real issue comes with the lack of emphasis on condemning the behavior and instead focusing on solving rather than learning. Caillou's parents are the original permissive parents, and one could compare them to the overly gentle parents that exist on TikTok. They rarely call out their son when he does act out and instead dismiss his behavior to the side. The 2020s revival series does a much better job at balancing gentle fairness with firmness. When Caillou or Rosie misbehave, they are scolded for it while also steered in the right direction in an imaginative way, arguably more creative than Boris or Doris' tactics in the original show ever amounted up to being.

Caillou has surprisingly great representation for a preschool show in the 90s, especially in terms of disability and other medical conditions. The show features episodes spotlighting deafness, Down syndrome, autism, wheelchair usage, and even Type 1 diabetes. The episodes in particular talk mainly about how the chronically ill/disabled character is still able to function perfectly normally, even with the condition they have. As a diabetic myself, the episode Emma's Extra Snacks always stood out to be, even before I was officially diagnosed. Diabetes representation and the stigma surrounding it is an issue that not many pieces of media discuss, and I'm happy that Caillou has the courage to tackle a subject that can and has been botched so easily.

And let's not forget the puppet segments, arguably the best part of Caillou. These puppet segments focused on three of Caillou's furry companions: Gilbert the cat, Rexy the T-Rex, and Teddy the teddy bear as they go on miscellaneous adventures around Caillou's house. My personal favorite of the trio was Gilbert and his 'odes.' The segments, while on the more basic side, provide a good enough distraction from Caillou's escapades, even if only for five minutes, before we were forced to go back to the bald boy's basic ballads.

While writing this post, I came up a post online asking if people would rather have their kids watch Caillou or Skidibl Toilet. If faced with a decision like this in real life, I'd turn on Caillou in an instant. Caillou has done a lot of bad, but deep down, we can't forget that the show's main intention, no matter how botched it ended up turning out, was to teach kids about life. I would much rather live in a world with mildly annoying preschool shows than brain rot which serves no purpose but to gradually disintegrate a person's cognitive functions.

He's just a kid who's four, and each day he grows some more, so I think that we need to start growing on him, just a smidge more.

[elftwink]

so this is from someone who also actively plays in and dms campaigns with other systems but personally i love dnd partly because i like the number of arcane rules. i think part of what it is, is my table experiences have been so combat-lite that for me the system has just become tools for solving puzzles and situations. encounters are so few and far between with my usual dm that they become very intense and scary when they do happen, and you can maybe say well that's dnd guy cope to say that this combat sim is better without the combat, and that probably is true. the best version of dnd for me like if i were writing 6e would be to shift the game's mechanical focus away from combat, increase the prominence of utility/ roleplay oriented spells and skills, and encourage DMs not to rely on combat to fill space in the game

yes!! ik im being a hater in my posts rn but i also love dnd, and especially the magic and spell system. it's not perfect obviously, but i have yet to find a ttrpg whose magic system is as engaging to me personally as dnd is. idk it's like exactly the right amount of rules to feel very bound by them while still leaving wiggle room for creative magic choices (either by way of flavour which is whatever you make of it, or by way of doing something that is Technically covered by the spell but probably not intended, which almost always fucks extremely hard).

& also i agree that dnd is kind of too combat focused, and i actually do think it would be better with less (although i suspect that given theres a pretty large contingent of dnd players who play mostly or solely combat, i dont think this is a universal opinion lol), or at the very least if it didn't feel like it dominated the meta decisions you have to make. like when i take new spells i often have to deliberate between the cool utility spell i actually want to take that has no damage component, and the damage based spell that will keep me viable in combat. i wish often these choices were less at odds with each other, or at least if you had a character who needed to be carried through combat that they would have more utility in non-combat scenarios instead of just kind of feeling like dead weight (now i sound like someone who should try another system, lol. but its more varied spells in the existing dnd system that i want!)

also i kind of think dnd has a problem esp at the mid level with keeping combat high stakes and genuinely scary, which is a whole other post where i could ramble lol, but honestly in terms of per table solutions "do combat a lot less" sounds like actually an extremely good way to deal with it. the worst thing in dnd is when combat starts to feel repetitive and like a slog. if it happens rarely it just so so so much easier to avoid that. i could say much more about this but ive already been typing this ask for a gazillion years but the point is i'm stealing your dms tactics for next time i run a game

also to contextualize my baseless haterism posts, i just want to clarify that i don't care in any way if someone plays only 5e/dnd and refuses to play other systems. this is whatever. what annoys me is when such people insist this is because every other game on earth is worse than dnd at everything, somehow, even though they do not know the full rules of dnd and are not super interested in learning. there's a lot to be found there in dnd but you have to like, engage with it. your dm cant read it for you. & its always more fun to be at a table where everyone knows wtf is going on than with players who barely know enough to scrape by and treat the DM like a rules dispensing machine

anyway. your 6e ideas sound awesome, especially more utility spells pleaseeee wotc. life could be so beautiful

[yonarida]

Dopamine Detox

The title is Dopamine Detox. For me, that is a nice book, by Thibaut Meurisse Several points I like, as a reminder for myself:

The truth is that no amount of stimulation will ever bring you the sense of fulfillment you're seeking. Yet, many of us are constantly overstimulated, looking for the next source that could trigger a release of dopamine. It seems as though we always want more and are never satisfied. And the more we seek stimulation, the worse it becomes.

Your focus is a scarce asset. Instead of using the internet to find information or communicate with loved ones, the internet has become the one using you. It does so by hijacking your focus and making you unproductive and, as a result, restless. Social media notifications are a great example of how your brain is being hijacked.

When you engage in such hijacked activities, you risk becoming not only overstimulated but also distracted and, as a result, you will lose your ability to focus. Whoever has succeeded in staying away from the internet or social media for a few days, understands what a waste of time and focus such activities can be.

Food craving -> By adding sugar, the food industry can not only make the food more palatable, but they make us crave more. For this reason, if you look at the list of ingredients contained in any processed food, you'll find sugar in most of them. However, I should mention that, while there is a debate on the actual addictive power of sugar, it is unlikely to be as addictive as cocaine. -> Humans seem to have a natural craving for sugar and fat. While we may not be addicted to them per se, it might be a good idea to reduce our intake and lower our dependence on them, especially on sugar.

Dopamine and Constant Stimulation Can Impair Your Ability to Think Long-term -> Studies have shown that one of the best predictors of success is the ability to think long-term. People who repeatedly focus on where they want to be in the future, make better decisions in the present. -> They tend to eat healthier food, be more productive at work, and save and invest more money than others. Unfortunately, these days, focusing on our long-term goals isn't an easy feat. Many external forces lead us to become caught up in short-term thinking and encourage us to fall for immediate gratification. -> Remember, long-term thinking is the "secret" to achieving your goals. But it won't happen today or tomorrow. You must develop the art of patience and consistency. To do so, eliminate the distractions that make you feel restless. Remove the external stimulations that prevent you from focusing on the long-term picture. Then, you will stand a much better chance of ending up where you want to be in the coming years.

When you are calm and focused, doing your main work can be surprisingly easy. You might even be excited, looking forward to making progress toward your biggest goals each day.

The Problem with Overstimulating -> When you're engaging in highly stimulating activities, your brain will keep demanding more and more stimulation. As your level of stimulation rises, regular tasks will appear increasingly dull and unappealing.

Action Step -> Write down a specific distraction pattern that often falls into that leads to being in a state of overstimulation. example: checking Instagram -> The Stimulation Trap As soon as you enter a state of overstimulation, your mind will play tricks on you to convince you there is no need to leave that "trance". Instead, your mind encourages you to embrace it and seek even more stimulation.

The Benefits of Detox -> Dopamine detox: the reduction of stimulation to prevent overstimulation and put you in the proper state of mind to tackle major tasks. -> A dopamine detox helps reduce stimulation, thereby allowing you to revert to a more natural state. When you need less stimulation, seemingly challenging, boring, or tedious tasks will become more appealing, and easier to tackle.

Type of dopamine detox: 1. The 48 hours complete dopamine detox -> You must eliminate most or all sources of external stimulation for a total of 48 hours. Doing so will help you reduce your overall level of stimulation and revert to your natural state. You will feel much calmer and find it easier to focus on any specific important task. -> example source: internet, phone, social media, sugar/ processed foods, video games, music -> Alternative activities: going for a contemplative walk, journaling, relaxing, practicing awareness exercise, reading (except stimulating reading perhaps), stretching exercise. 2. The 24-hour dopamine detox the concept is like the first type 3. the partial dopamine detox removing your biggest source of stimulation.

3 Steps method for a successful detox 1. Identify your biggest distraction 2. Add friction Make unwanted behaviors harder to engage in by adding friction. Redesign your environment to make undesirable behaviors more difficult to engage in while making more desirable behaviors easier to conduct. 3. Make desired behaviors easier to engage in by reducing friction. 4. Start first thing in the morning Create a morning routine to help you start your day on a positive note and with a strong focus. Do the thing that remains calm and focused, something that doesn't make you feel overstimulated. Now, decide whether you want to do a 48-hour, a 24-hour, or a partial detox. Then, identify the main sources of stimulation you'll eliminate as you go through your detox.

Reflect on your life When we're constantly busy and overstimulated, we sometimes fail to take a step back. We can't see the forest for the trees. Use your dopamine detox as a way to zoom out. To do so: -> Reflect on your goals What goals are you pursuing? Are they the right ones for you? Are you making progress toward them each day? And if you keep doing what you're doing, will you reach them? -> Assess how you're using your time Are you being truly productive each day? Do you spend time on things that matter? Which activities or projects do you really need to focus on? Which ones do you want to stop doing? -> Seld Reflect Are you where you want to be in life? What inner work could you do to improve yourself?

Doing the Work One of the main goals of a dopamine detox is to lower your level of stimulation to help you feel more motivated to work on key tasks. -> Plan your day Planning your day is important for the following reasons - it allows you to clarify which tasks are important and which ones aren't - It reduces the odds of your mind distracting you during the day. Because you know exactly what you have to do, you can move from one task to the next smoothly and without distraction, and you will move toward your goals proactively. The key to productivity can be summarized in three words: 1. Focus 2. Consistency 3. Impact means identifying your key tasks (the ones that have the greatest impact on your long-term success

[tuliptiger]

Ok ok ok last totk rant. Maybe a little nicer this time after playing it in a gentle way for a bit. I thiiiink my biggest gripe is that I don't really feel they asked and answered the question after BOTW was over, how do we continue this world and this story? What does it look like after Link and Zelda are reunited? How do we answer some of those loose end plots IF they need answering?

You know? I feel like there were a lot of questions to ask and it felt like they just wanted to start the story and plot over completely but with the same sand box elements, just keep the aesthetics but get rid of everything else because it's easier and quicker for production if we can pump out a game everyone has already liked.

I also feel like Totk got choked out by corporate decisions, trends and keeping everything dulled and dimmed down for a younger audience. Which is kind of fine because honestly I don't really know who the audience for totk was, if it was general or targeted at younger audiences. That is certainly what it feels like for a large majority of the game.

In which case, I need to come to terms with the fact it wasn't ever aimed at me regardless of the money I spend on it and I will always be disappointed because of that.

I did actually enjoy, kind of playing it for the first time in a couple months for a couple of hours. But I played it like I played botw, mid world with my horse and slowly kind of picked around the map in one central spot I liked for a little bit. Enjoyed the flora and fauna, didn't take battles too seriously or just ran away. Focused on an areas quests instead of shooting all over all 3 maps, without my horse or a mode of transportation.

I honestly hate the build system and I know I'm bitching about the things that didn't happen, and that I won't change anything by complaining but fr a mount system to me works so much better for open world games. I hate "paying" to make a vehicle or going through the motions of making a vehicle. It's cold and distant to me, I want my horse or a "living" mount companion to hang out with on my adventures. Bleh so much wasted potential and so many interesting questions that could've been asked but just weren't.

What's an interesting way to navigate the maps that gives players the freedom they want but isn't cumbersome? Somehow they made the horse controls worse which I honestly don't understand how that even happened, considering they did NOT improve or add anything to the horse system. Vehicles are a pain because yeah, the buying your vehicles aspect but also the menus, the menus and menus and menus and the scrolling through all your items. The fact that you not only have ultrahand but it was annoying ENOUGH that they added a specific tool to try and circumvent the annoyance of rebuilding vehicles.

And I can't even get started on the erasure of the sheika and sheika technology AND the fucking guardians and I cannot believe I'm saying it but I do actually miss the guardians. I think the battles with them were awesome and they were scary as hell and I liked not only running from them but knowing that they can cover a lot of distance quickly added to the thrill. It was so incredibly lazy to pave over them with "just another ancient civilization". Another question that could have or actually was asked this time and they just didn't want to answer it because it took effort to figure it out. "How do we continue with the sheika and guardians considering the calamity's impact on them? How do we not repeat botws ganon taking over the guardians when he awakens again?" I think pretty interesting questions! That will never be answered.

I miss having my horse teleport to me and not need to be within 500 ft of me. Quality of life and functionality just took a nose dive to me. Anyway! Totk is a different beast I suppose, the only way I'm going to enjoy it it seems is as slowly as I can and try and enjoy the things I liked about botw and the rare new things I find in totk.

I don't think I'll get over feeling disrespected by Nintendo and the developers though tbh, I am a chump for paying 70 dollars for a large dlc of a game I liked though and they knew it too. Fuck Nintendo, it's kind of always been that way but also like, fuck Nintendo.

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

(Vi)vianne Marie Zephyr (1/2)

----

Here’s a list of things that Vivianne Marie Zephyr knew.

One, she was twelve years old.

Two, twelve-year-olds should not be trusted to make their own decisions.

Three, twelve-year-olds didn’t know anything about themselves or the world. (at least, according to her extended family they didn't.)

Four, Vivianne is not a girl.

----

| Ao3 | Next -> |

Warnings:

Virgil gets deadnamed, mostly by himself but also by people who don't know he's trans.

Pairings: Virgil & Remus

Word Count: 5535

Notes:

This fic is basically exploring Virgil's story more or less up to the point of 'Mine is a World of Rooftops and Love Songs', the first chapter especially focuses on him discovering that he's trans. Because of this there's a lot of deadnaming/using the wrong pronouns for him at the start because he's learning.

This is also written from the perspective of a twelve-year-old learning about the idea of being trans for the first time, so obviously he's not going to get the terms exactly right, etc.

I'd also like to note that I myself am not trans, so I'll apologise now if anything here is inaccurate, feel free to correct me if the need arises.

----

Disclaimer over, this fic is a precursor to 'Mine is a World of Rooftops and Love Songs', the fic I wrote for New Years exploring Virgil's backstory. This one will(should) have two parts!

I'm hoping to write a similar 'backstory' fic for every side before moving onto oneshots in the 'present day'

I've decided to name this AU Forests and Rooftops, (at least for now, I might change it if I come up with something better lol)

I'll be tagging fics from this au with 'Rowan's F&R verse' on Tumblr, and they'll all be collected in a series on Ao3 :D

Happy reading!

(and apologies for such a long note

----

Here’s a list of things that Vivianne Marie Zephyr knew.

One, she was twelve years old.

Two, twelve year olds should not be trusted to make their own decisions.

Three, twelve year olds didn’t know anything about themselves or the world. (at least, according to her extended family they didn't.)

Four, Vivianne is not a girl.

Now Vivianne knows very well that she has girl parts and long hair and because of that everyone seems to think it’s ok to pester her-

Actually, if she’s not a girl, surely she shouldn’t use girl words to refer to herself, like those pesky ‘she’ pronouns that made her feel all icky and gross whenever anyone talked to her.

Maybe she should try ‘he’ instead. That’s what all the boys used. Now she- no, he - wasn’t sure if he - ok no stop that thought, the ‘he’ actually made her- him? Feel really good, all warm and fuzzy inside. 

Ok, well that’s the first step. Vivianne was a ‘he’ not a she.

Obviously this revelation didn’t come immediately or all of a sudden. 

She- he - had always hated it when her- his! ( Why was this so hard? It was what he wanted for gods sake!) parents called him a girl, especially hated it when they called him their little princess, or tried to style his hair or make him wear a dress for some fancy occasion. Couldn’t they see that he wasn’t a girl? Weren’t parents supposed to know that kind of stuff?

Oh well. Vivianne thought as he was going into his seventh grade homeroom for the first time after a summer moping by himself in his room doing nothing as usual. Maybe his parents just didn’t realise. Maybe he should tell them, but- uh- later. Once he’d figured out everything himself first. 

Because at the moment, though he had concluded that he liked ‘he’ much, much better than ‘she’. Vivianne was still only twelve years old, and he still had a lot to learn.

—-

It took almost a week for Vivianne to get used to referring to himself with the different pronouns in his head but he was pretty sure he’d gotten it down by now. Despite that, though, he still didn’t tell anyone. He was pretty sure the other kids in his class would laugh at him, and he didn’t really have any friends he could talk to about it either. So for now, he decided he’d just do his own research. (Oh, he really really liked he pronouns).

So, that weekend, Vivianne walked to the local library, wearing the biggest and cozyist hoodie he owned (both for comfort and anonymity, even at only twelve years old, Vivianne knew that gossip at their school spread like wildfire and he didn’t want to be called a nerd on top of everything else). At the library he sat himself down at one of the old computers, pulled an empty notebook out of his bag as well as a few pens and started researching. 

Now it might be weird that he did his research in the public library instead of within the safe confines of his own home, but he wasn’t quite sure about what adults would think about him not being a girl yet, especially not his parents. His parents were the last people he wanted to know about this right now, not when he wasn’t sure. 

His researching took up a lot of the cool Saturday afternoon. He learned about a lot of new terms and ideas, things like ‘trans’ and ‘nonbinary’. He discovered that he wasn’t weird for not feeling like a girl and he definitely wasn’t the only one. He learned that there were also girls who had originally been boys, and people who didn’t feel like either. He discovered that there were people who sat at every point inbetween and even some people who didn’t fit on the spectrum at all. 

There were so many more pronouns out there too, more than just ‘he’ and ‘she’. There was ‘they’, for starters, and then whole anthologies of other sets that he’d never even heard of. (He was a little intimidated by how large the list of neo-pronouns he found was, so he just wrote down the term and underlined it a few times in red, hoping it would remind him to come back to it later). He tried out ‘they’ pronouns on himself for now, by whispering them under his breath. They didn’t give him the same fuzzy feeling as ‘he’ did, but it still felt considerably better than the thought of ‘she’ so he would accept it. 

The research session had been groundbreaking and he walked home swinging his arms back and forth, happy with the pages he’d filled up with notes.

—

“Vivianne?”

A few weeks later, when someone called him by his name he found himself so overcome with revulsion at the thought of that name belonging to him that he almost didn’t even respond to the teacher who had called on him. Because of the shock, he had muddled up the words he had been trying to say in response to her question and ended up being laughed at by most of the class. He shrank back into his seat, mumbling the last of his answer so quietly that the person sat beside him had to repeat it for the teacher. 

So, Vivianne didn’t like that name. Which, now that he thought about it, actually featured in his research a little. He remembered a section about how trans people (which he had concluded was what he probably was) as well as other’s who didn’t identify with their birth gender quite often chose new names. 

Now that he considered it, he hadn’t always been as comfortable with the name his parents had given him as he had thought. It was a nice name, objectively, it would have been a lovely name if he had actually been a girl and he was sure he would’ve loved it in that case. But… well he wasn’t a girl, he was aware of that much by now, so obviously ‘Vivianne’ didn’t fit. 

For a few days, he tried referring to himself as ‘Viv’ instead. It was just a short version of ‘Vivianne’ and his parents called him that sometimes anyway, a nickname at best and it still felt pretty feminine. After that it was shortened just a little more to ‘Vi’.

‘Vi’ stuck for much longer than Viv had. He’d managed to co-erce his parents into calling him Vi as a new nickname and it felt good, much better than Vivianne, or even Viv. He liked the ‘V’ sound. For some reason there still felt like something was missing. Vi wasn’t his . Not in the way he thought a name should be. But it was good, better than Viv and definitely better than Vivianne. He liked it, even if it wasn’t perfect, he could search for something better later and use Vi for now. Until he found his name. 

—-

About three quarters of the way through seventh grade, Vi cut his hair. 

It had been in the spur of the moment and he regretted it immediately. Regretted it so much it almost brought him out of his current mental breakdown and into another one.

He had an awful day at school. The teachers kept picking on him to answer questions even though he could hardly ever find words to speak normally in school nowadays. At lunch a group of older girls had been picking on him for hiding himself away in the corner and he’d ended up going to the nurse with a scraped up knee where he fell trying to get away. His favourite hoodie had ended up getting covered in dirt and mud where he fallen. And then of course he’d had to go back to class, where everyone had laughed at him for not being able to answer a question he was picked on for because he just couldn’t force himself to speak.

During the walk home he’d worked himself up into a panic, thoughts spinning round and round his head and everything was just so much bigger and brighter than it usually was. 

“Hey Vi!” His mother called from somewhere inside the house when he opened the door, “How was school, sweetheart?”

Vi didn’t answer, instead he burst into tears right there on the spot, unable to hold it in anymore. He choked back a sob and ran for the stairs, slamming his door and collapsing on the bed. He couldn’t breath, no matter how tight he curled himself he couldn’t get himself to take even breaths through the sobs. 

And then he looked up, and though the tears he saw his reflection in the mirror. 

He saw his long black hair, hair that fell in thick waves down his back. Now pooled around his tiny curled up form like a shawl. It made him sick. Every time he looked in a mirror, every time he saw his reflection, every time someone called him a girl .

Before he could think, Vi was standing again on shaky legs. He stood in front of the mirror, looking into his own wide blue eyes, his pale skin, his hair that fell over his shoulders. He looked like a girl. It made him so angry. 

In one swoop, he grabbed the scissors from his desk and cut off the chunk that hung over his shoulder.

‘Her hair looks so beautiful!’

‘Such pretty hair for a beautiful little girl’

‘I would kill for hair like hers’

‘I would love to braid her hair…’

With each thought came another chunk, everything people would say to him, every comment about how lovely his hair was and how he should never cut it, until there was hardly anything left to cut. His hair made him a girl, and now it was gone. It felt almost a little like he’d cut away a part of himself. He felt lighter, almost, relieved, maybe. 

And then he realised what a mistake he had made.

He stood in his room, finally calmer than before, but his floor was covered in hair, his hand holding the scissors was still shaking and all he could think was that his mum was going to kill him for this.

It looked horrific. He had cut some bits far too short and now they stuck out from his head, his bangs were now the only part of his hair that looked presentable, being the only part he didn’t touch. The rest of his hair made him look a little like he’d been mauled. 

Some parts were cut so short he could see his scalp.

Cutting his hair hadn’t made him look like a boy. It had just made him look stupid, he would be a laughing stock. 

He didn’t know what to do. So for a long while he just stood there, staring at his own reflection as silent tears dripped down his face. What the hell would happen now? What would his parents say when they found out? He’d get in so much trouble, and then- school was a whole other issue.

If he was already being bullied for barely speaking and altogether being skinny and small for his age, Vi would be bullied tenfold for this, he’d have the whole school after him, if his parents didn’t murder him first.

Speak of the devil, someone knocked on the door.

“Vi… honey? Are you in there?” His mother called through the door, “I heard you crying before, may I come in?”

“N-no-!” Virgil said as loud as he could, it was still barely an inside voice, “Please- don’t.”

“Alright,” She said, “I won’t come in, but… if you’re up for talking you can come to the door?”

Vi sniffed, before taking a deep breath that ended up choked by a sob. In the end he was able to step over the hair and sit down with his back to the bedroom door.

“I- I’m here,” Virgil said, resting his chin on his knees and trying to wipe some of the tears from his face. He could hear shifting on the other side of the door. His mum must be sitting down as well.

“Good,” She said, her voice quiet, “Now, are you ok?”

“No,” Vi said miserably, he wasn’t ok, he really wasn’t. Not right now. He knew by now that keeping his feelings a secret was no way to deal with them, this kind of conversation- with the bedroom door between them- had been happening since Vi had his own room in the house. There was no point keeping his feelings from her anyway, she could always tell, somehow, even if he didn’t tell her. 

“Can you tell me what you’re feeling?” She asked, Vi squeezed his knees tighter to his chest.

“Upset, angry,” He mumbled.

“Can you tell me why?”

“School,” Vi answered, “Mostly- teachers keep calling me and- I can’t say the answer even though I know it a-and everyone laughs at me-”

“Oh sweetheart-” His mom paused, “Why are you angry?”

“At- at myself, mostly,” He almost whispered, “I… did something stupid.”

There was a long pause before his mother spoke. 

“Can you tell me what you did, sweetheart?”

“I don’t- I don’t wanna,” He mumbled, “You’re- gonna be mad…”

“I won’t,” she said, “I promise you, whatever has happened I won’t be mad at you,”

“You promise?” He asked, he was still certain she’d be angry, one of his hands had come to clutch at the uneven strands of hair that jutted out from his head at odd angles now, she had always loved his hair.

“I promise,” She told him, her voice firm and reassuring. Vi still didn’t believe her, but she would find out at one point or another anyway. So he stood up, took a step back and opened the door. 

She gasped when she saw him, hand flying to cover her mouth and eyes wide in shock. 

Vi looked away, “I told you you’d be mad,” 

“Oh honey I- I’m not mad,” She said, taking a deep breath, “Just- shocked! What happened?”

“I… I just got so angry- with- with myself and with everyone else and- I did it before I even realised what I was doing…” He said after a few deep breaths, looking away as he spoke so she wouldn’t see the tears welling up in his eyes again.

“Oh, darling that’s ok,” She said, crouching down to look up at him, “What were you so angry about?”

“Just- just the way everyone talks- and- how my hair looks so girlish and makes everyone say stupid stuff about how pretty it makes me a- and I don’t like it- so- so I just-” Vi cut off, he hadn’t meant to say that, he was trying to keep all this boy stuff a secret until he was sure about it-

“You don’t like being pretty?” His mother asked, Vi shook his head.

“No- it’s- it’s not about being pretty,” He sniffed, wiping away more tears, “It’s- it’s um, it’s that pretty is a girl thing…”

His voice was barely audible now, but she heard him and smiled fondly.

“So you don’t like girl things?” She asked. Vi nodded, hand fisting in the hem of his sweater, “Any reason why?”

“They- they make me feel uncomfortable, all icky and gross, like I’m sick,” He mumbled, oh well, he was deep enough into it now, “Cuz I’m not a girl,”

“I see,” She nodded, “If you’re not a girl, then what are you?”

“A boy,” He said, before pausing, “I think- I um- I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure… but…”

“I understand,” She nodded, before tapping his head lightly, “Now, we can fix this.”

“We can?” He asked, “Wait- you’re- you’re ok? With me not being a girl?”

“Of course we can,” She nodded, “We might need to wait for it to grow out a little bit, but we can take you to a hairdresser who can cut it however you’d like, ok? And- of course I’m ok with it! What sort of mother would I be if I stopped caring for you because you’re not a girl?”

Vi sighed in relief, slumping forwards and hugging her around the middle, she returned the gesture, squeezing him tight. 

“Now, lets clean up this mess together and you can tell me all about not being a girl, okay?” 

—-

The next day, Vi wore a beanie to school to cover up the absolute mess that was his hair. 

He’d left his bangs out, and actually he quite liked how it ended up looking. He didn’t look as much like a girl with the beanie, and that felt… really nice.

It was weird, not having all of his hair anymore. It was weirdly relieving, even if he was absolutely terrified all day that someone would ask him a question or a teacher would ask him to remove the beanie. Or worse, that someone would take it off by force.

Which, of course, because Vi can never have a nice day, is what happened at lunch. 

He was cornered by the bullies again. They were taunting him about his new lack of hair and had backed him against the wall. One of them had reached forward and snatched the beanie whilst he wasn’t looking at her and all four of the girls had gone silent before bursting out into peals of laughter. Vi had ran, trying to hold back tears until he’d gotten somewhere away from people. He’d ended up hiding himself away behind the bushes surrounding the old bike shed- it was usually quiet at this end of the school and he hoped no-one had followed him as he sank to the ground and tried to fight back tears. 

“Hey!” Someone called, followed by the sound of said person forcing their way through the bushes despite there being a path just on the other side. Vi’s head snapped up to look at them and they grinned when he met their eyes, “Hey! I got your beanie back!”

Vi blinked slowly, he’d never seen this kid before, so they must not be in the same classes even though they looked the same age. He had a white streak in the front of his dark brown hair, which was cool. Bright green eyes and a curly mustache that looked to be drawn onto his face with marker. He was holding Vi’s beanie, just like he’d said, and was still grinning ear to ear. 

“Oh right, you don’t talk much, do you?” He said, “I heard rumours, but anyway, here,”

He came over and held out the beanie. Vi hesitated, before reaching out to take it. The stranger grinned, before turning and slumping down next to him with a thud, making Vi jump.

“So! What’s the story with the hair?” He asked, leaning forward, “Oh, wait, what’s your name? I’m Remus!”

Vi made a quiet noise, trying to collect his thoughts. Should he tell Remus his name? He should tell him his real name, right? But then Remus would call him that- but then what if he changed Vi and then- well, Remus probably wouldn’t stick around long enough for that anyway, so… maybe it didn’t matter what he said, or, didn’t say because no matter how hard he tried, the words ‘I’m Vi’ wouldn’t make their way out of his mouth. He huffed, before reaching for his bag and grabbing a notepad and opening it to the front page. He turned it to face Remus and tapped the inside front cover, on which he’d written ‘Vi’s Research Notebook’. 

“He speaks! Speaks through the book, at least!” Remus cheered and Virgil was immediately stunned by the use of ‘he’ because to everyone else he was a girl, being called ‘he’ by someone else felt almost like a metaphorical punch to the gut, but… in a good way? “Um- why’re you looking at me like that?”

Vi shrugged uselessly, though he couldn’t seem to get that astounded expression off of his face.

“Was it cuz I called you ‘he’? Cuz that’s just what I thought you were- I couldn’t really tell by looking at you-” 

Virgil cut him off by shaking his head, frantically tapping the book where, underneath his name he had written down ‘He/him’. Well, at least this book was coming in useful now. 

“Oh great! Me too!” Remus grinned, “Wait then why were you looking at me weird?”

Vi paused, taking a deep breath before flicking to the back of the book and grabbing a pen, writing quickly: ‘Most people think I’m a girl, that’s why I cut my hair.’

“Oooooh!” Remus nodded after leaning forward to read the words, and Vi was once again stunned, because… that was ok? “Well you did a real shoddy job but I respect the effort! So, Vi, what’s school really like? I’m new see and I’ve just gotten out of doing tours and stuff with my stupid brother cuz for some reason they thought it’d be best to leave me with someone I knew even though my brother’s a donkey.”

Vi couldn’t help but let out a soundless laugh, something he tried not to do in school- mainly because people would prod at him for it. He hated questions from them most of all. He grabbed his pen again and wrote down ‘Why’d you join late?’ on the line below the previous statement. This was actually a pretty good way to communicate with someone who was actually willing to wait a second for his answers. Maybe he should talk to his parents about it. 

“Oh ‘cuz a few years ago I skipped a grade but like all this year I’ve been in hospital so they put me back where I was supposed to be cuz I missed most of this year.”

He hummed, nodding along while he fidgeted with some grass, before flicking through the book and opening it to a double page on which he had written down things he’d noticed about the teachers- which would let you off with homework, who was best to go to with problems, who was worst. Once Vi was pretty sure Remus had read enough of the page to get the gist, he flicked back to the back and wrote ‘I can show you all the good hiding spots are too.’

“Perfect!” Remus grinned, bouncing a little, “I think we’re gonna get along great, new friend!”

—-

It turned out that Vi only shared one of his classes with Remus, which was annoying because he might have been able to get through all of the bullying about his hair if he had a friend with him (he’d never really had one of those before, wasn’t that exciting?). But for now he was stuck being passed notes with horribly ugly drawings of him, or whispered name calling and even more notes that called him mean names.

At least even after learning Vi’s real name Remus kept calling him Vi, and kept using ‘he’ too, even though people called him weird for it. It made Vi very happy, which was all that seemed to matter where Remus was concerned. 

—-

It was only a few days later, after he’d spent lunch behind the bike shed with Remus (it turned out to become a good meeting spot) that his teacher had arrived late to class.

Usually a teacher being late would mean extra time to chat with your classmates. Usually the three kids who already had phones would be gathered around while they played some stupid video of kittens chasing lights, or something else that they considered funny enough to save to their phones.

Not today though, because a teacher being late to Vi’s class meant that the kids in the class who liked to pick on him could gang up on him like they did during lunch.

Someone spooked him from behind his desk, making him flinch and cover his head.

“Not even gonna stand up for yourself? Scrawny little freak?” Someone called from over his head, Virgil only squeaked pathetically and curled up further in his chair as someone pushed him roughly, almost enough to move the chair itself, “Look at her! She’s so pathetic!”

“What’s wrong? Cant hide behind your hair anymore?” Someone else mocked, “Oh yeah, cuz you hacked it all off, what’d you use again, a hedgecutter?”

“She does look a little like a dead bush,” A boy commented, “She looks a little like the thing my dad ran over in the road this morning!”

The people around him broke out into noises that were a mix of disgust and laughter, Vi just curled further into his seat, gripping his own arms in a death grip as the other students continued to poke and prod at him.

“Hey!” Someone yelled over the noise of the students, Vi shuddered, even without looking he could feel the magic from whoever this kid was, and Vi doubted he was even doing anything right now, “What’re you all doing? Get away from her!”

Most of the students paused then, turning to face the voice, some of them whispered.

“It’s him!” They said, “The kid who lives in the forests with the faeries !”

“Really? I thought that was just a rumour!” They said.

“I’ve seen him going with my own eyes!” They said, “It’s true! He goes in and comes out, every time, completely fine and safe!”

“Is he cursed? Does he have magic? Is he a faerie himself?”

“No need for all the whispers,” The someone they were all talking about called over the frenzied whispers, silencing them immediately, “Why don’t we all calm down and go to our seats, ok?”

“Or what?” Someone with more bravery than common sense yelled from the crowd, “You’re gonna get your pixie friends to come and giggle at us?”

“You’d probably be smarter not to insult the fae,” The person said, “They don’t like being mocked, and they have ways of finding out…”

Most of the class had scrambled back to their seats by now. Now that the crowds were gone, Vi felt that it was safe enough to look up and when he did he saw that the only students who were still standing were Kailee, one of the girls who liked to bully him, and a boy. The boy must be the one speaking, because who else could it be. He was short, but nowhere near Vi’s level. His eyes were blue, but not in the same ghostly-pale sometimes creepy way Virgil’s were, they reminded him more of a sunny day, kind and warm, though Virgil felt the tingle of something supernatural when he looked into them too long. Instead he looked at the other boy’s hair, dirty blond and falling in waves down to his chin. Most notable, though, was the brightly coloured flower crown he wore atop his head. Intricately weaved better than anything Virgil had ever seen with what looked like real flowers, pink and baby blue and a soft yellow. 

What really surprised him was the magic, though, the feeling of magic rolling off of him. Vi knew he had some kind of… sense, for magic, but it had never felt half as strong as this before… whoever this kid was…

He and Kailee stared at each other for a minute before she gave up, rolling her eyes and stomping back over to her seat. When their eyes met, the other boy smiled and gave him a thumbs up before walking away and sitting down at the edge of the room just before the teacher had come in. 

…No matter who he was, Vi thought he couldn’t be anything but trustworthy.

—-

Vi never talked to the faerie boy, to be fair on him, he never talked to anyone. He also didn’t like referring to him as ‘the faerie boy’ because even though the kid was easily beautiful enough to be, he wasn’t actually fae, he just lived with them, but he didn’t have a better name to call him and Vi was far too anxious to ask. He really wanted to thank the boy for standing up for him, both the first time and the few times it happened afterwards too. Vi was so grateful to him, and probably owed him a whole lot- which might be bad, actually, if this kid really did live with the fae- but because of his intervention people had started to leave him alone. 

There was always the occasional thing, someone would trip him or push him or throw little taunts or quips, but the majority of people had decided to leave him alone for the most part. It seemed that knowing Virgil was protected by the boy who befriended the faerie courts was enough deterrent for the most part. 

Vi still couldn’t speak and school still wasn’t great. He and Remus still spent lunches behind the bike shed because even though Vi wasn’t followed by bullies everywhere he went now, people still stared and whispered and it made him uncomfortable. Teachers still found amusement in picking on him during class and watching him struggle to answer, in classes he didn’t share with the faerie boy people still laughed at him for it.

But it was… better. Vi decided it was much better than it had been.

—-

The rest of seventh grade passed in a blur for Vi.

Somehow, he had managed to remain friends with Remus. The rumours that had been spread hadn’t scared him off and somehow neither had Vi’s inability to speak nor his limited fashion sense (Remus had tried to persuade him to wear something other than hoodies and baggy trousers a few times to no avail over the time they spent together).

They had quickly started hanging out outside of school too, since it turned out that both of them had a lot of free time on their hands.  His parents had been ecstatic to find out that he now had a friend and Remus said that his own parents were glad to have some peace and quiet for once. They’d started slowly, just with Remus coming over for an evening after school one day or another, but that had very quickly become them spending every weekend they could together. If the weather was good they’d go out, to the park mostly where they’d get ice-cream or a chocolate bar and then sit and just exist together for hours. If the weather wasn’t so good they’d spend time in Virgil’s house, or at the library- though Remus didn’t like the library that much- or the coffee shop near the school. 

Vi really thought this whole thing was brilliant. He had someone he could connect with, who wanted to spend time with him. Someone who was loud and boisterous and downright intolerable at times to make up for Vi’s quiet and anxious dimeaner. They balanced each other out perfectly. Vi’s mother said it was fate, Vi didn’t believe in such things, but… he couldn’t deny that having Remus as a friend was… pretty cool. 

And even more importantly, now he had someone to study for his finals with. 

Since 6th grade was ending and exams were almost on top of them, Vi, of course, was already getting incredibly stressed over them. He’d found- after finally getting Remus to sit down to study after half an hour of insistence- that ssitting in his bedroom and listening to Remus ramble about whatever units they had been learning was far better in comparison than making notes on a textbook for the hundredth time. Listening to Remus made it interesting, like he was using the biology they’d been learning to tell a story without leaving any of the gross bits out. Vi had found himself laughing so hard he wheezed by the end of it and came out confident that he wouldn’t forget the bio content any time soon. 

Every exam came and went with just as much stress as usual. Vi was sure he’d had more panic attacks than last year- not that he was keeping count. Even with the increased amount of panic, though, he found himself going into every exam calm- or as calm as he could, given the circumstances- after Remus found him and talked him down from his worries every time.

Having a friend made the problem so much easier for him to deal with and Vi couldn’t be more grateful for it. Remus managed to drag Vi out of his little ball of stress after every exam he had and take him to get ice-cream (something else he’d definitely had more of than last year) all whilst saying with no hint of a doubt that Vi aced them. 

As summer began and Vi prepared to have Remus breaking down his door every morning for the next eight weeks, got ready to be busy over the summer for the first time in his life, he couldn’t think of anything better that he could be doing.

Finally, his life was just a little bit better. 

And all it took was the knowledge that he was not a girl. 

----

| Next -> |

[daisylikesmedia]

Series 8 Episode 9: Flatline

Heyy everyone, today we’re going to be checking out Flatline. Shoutout to my friend who pointed out that when a hospital patient was flatlining in a movie that was “just like that Doctor Who episode”, I’m now stealing that joke for my review thanks 🙂. Let’s go.

So the Boneless are pretty cool huh? Shapeshifters from another world trying to enter ours by manipulating the dimensions of objects. This is used really creatively for the vast majority of the episode, with nervous systems stretched across walls, and sofas and pillows being eaten up into the walls with some really well done effects. Seeing this happen is genuinely spooky, and I think it’s a very well designed threat. My only gripe is their final evolution (into 3d) leads to them just becoming walking zombies and like, surely we can do better than that as a “final form” for the Boneless? Regardless they are super cool tho, and due to them still having a lot of untapped potential I could see a return actually being a good thing for this villain, as long as they aren’t given a personality like what happened with the Weeping Angels.

I also find this a very interesting episode in the context of Series 8, because this is the kind of episode I’d actually expect to see in Series 9 instead. This story is one that shows Twelve at his most empathetic so far. His discussions with Clara about being the Doctor and making those difficult decisions so that he can protect others opens up an emotional core to Twelve we haven’t seen yet, harkening forward to his persona in the finale and forward. This is also where the “Clara’s getting a little too used to acting as the Doctor” arc starts, which is one we’ll see focused on during Series 9 too. In terms of the running themes of Series 8 it feels like it skips maybe a little far ahead, but I’m not going to complain because this is the closest Twelve and Clara have felt in any story so far and I find that really sweet.

Also this episode nails its side characters too. Rigsy is just a really cool dude who gets to go through the “Doctor underestimates the character and then the character shows the Doctor that actually they’re kinda swaggy” test and passes with flying colours. I’m very glad this wasn’t the last we saw of him, and again like Perkins from Mummy on the Orient Express, in another universe I’d have loved to see him in the TARDIS as a proper team member. But whilst on one side of the coin we have Rigsy, on the other we have Fenton, who is shown to be a classist idiot. Though, whilst Fenton isn’t a very nice guy, having that friction/tension being built up within the group as the episode goes on I think actually benefits the dynamic a lot more than it hurts it, leading to a more well-rounded group that challenges Doctor Clara’s leadership skills. 

TL:DR/Overview: Flatline is yet another banger from the amazing series 8. The threat is creative, and is the kind of villain that gets my mind whirring as to the possibilities of its powers. Alongside this, it is series 8 so the character writing is nailed once again, not just for our main cast this time but also the supporting characters too. It’s just another great, tightly written, well-paced, cool-villain-having Doctor Who episode, and for that it goes into S tier.

[kneworder]

What's insane to me is that TUA s2 broke so you'd think they'd give it more priority and but then actively didn't. But you could argue it's because they were more focused on ST s4 but then TUA s3 was still really successful and beat ST s4 multiple times with weekly views and yet that still isn't enough. Like, in terms of money, which is the only thing Netflix really cares about, it should've become a higher priority after s2 but instead it became less of one

st is more marketable, is my guess? slap a funny little sailor outfit or d&d club shirt on someone and boom you're selling halloween costumes for decades. huge cast that appeals to younger and older audiences with some pretty big names in there.

tua doesn't have an acting equivalent to winona ryder (or even sean astin or matthew modine), the most marketable outfit is five's uniform (which isn't nearly as distinctive as the kind of stuff we see in st), and it's wacky enough that it doesn't specifically appeal to kids (coming of age) or teens (romance drama) or adults (parenthood themes + winona ryder).

i wanna be clear that i do like stranger things a lot, although i really really disliked some of their writing decisions (read: 90% of season 3). it's pretty clear a lot of the stuff they throw in there is for its marketability, but it's still a fun and enjoyable show, like there's a reason why its fanbase is so huge. at the same time it's significantly easier to build a fanbase when parts of the show are so blatantly there to sell, as compared to tua which is completely off the rails all the time.

i also think it's interesting to compare the two shows' season 3s, because personally I found them both extremely disappointing. imho they very much flattened down characters and made them less complex and created plots that thematically didn't fit with the previous two seasons. honestly i was even more pissed off with st (although i think my disappointment with st3 definitely influenced my expectations with tua3 i do not trust netflix anymore). but st3, for better or for worse, certainly did their absolute best to make it the most commercially successful season yet -- scoops ahoy outfits, the kids' egregious 80s outfits (particularly max & el), the entire conceit of starcourt mall, even the new coke ad read bit. even if the writing suffered, the profit didn't! they're still profiting off of the notoriety of st3's branding, and now with the hellfire shirts, it's continuing. tua's writing suffered, and it didn't introduce any new avenues for profit in season 3. maybe i'm just tin hatting over here but that's my two cents.

anyway. yeah. disappointed but not surprised. i am not expecting much from tua 4.