#so i think bc of that he should treat them differently.
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Going off from what I said before in the last post, Leo's early opinions of the rivals
Victoria - I remember saying once Leo tried to force himself to have a crush on her lol. I don't think that's necessary, not anymore. Going off from what I previously said I think he...wishes to be more like her, honestly. She's like the ideal he strives for, someone who is kind and tries to do the right thing just because they can. I think he admires her from what he's seen of her, and maybe a bit envious of how "good" she is.
Cain - Cain brutally reminded Leo that he was very much in denial about his sexuality, lmao. Though for their first meetings, it was actually easy to ignore how he felt about a guy flirting with him so openly and just play along. This won't always be the case, as time goes on Cain is practically at war with Leo's internalized homophobia, but right now, Leo honestly thinks Cain is fun. Forward, but fun.
Fern - It feels like looking into a mirror and he doesn't like it. Learning that Fern, too , has a successful older sister just makes it worse ( though he hates how Fern talks about her. Leo would die if he talked to Raya the way Fern talked to Florina). Leo isn't really combative with Fern, not yet anyway. If anything, because of how he sees himself in Fern, he tries to be more patient( again, he's trying to be a better person + Fern kinda makes him uncomfortable). Maybe even be a bit nicer than he should have. Though, both him and Fern have egos and both seem to get annoyed with each other by simply existing. But they're not combative. Not yet.
#it's interesting to see how i changed in terms of early dynamics here#vicky and fern are notable changes. vicky reminds leo of raya and fern reminds him of himself- at first.#so i think bc of that he should treat them differently.#at least compared to before#i think leo should always be annoyed with fern but was trying his best to be patient and kind#it's like looking in a cruel mirror.#i think it gets worse after You Know What.#and by that point i think Leo just hates the guy#vicky is interesting. i also think bc he remind her of his sister he starts to project onto her#and so when Vicky really starts to spiral and show her emotions that are separate from suraya he's kinda. taken a back.#like oh wow you're an actual person not my sister who was more like a mom to me#mind you i don't think this mindset is on purpose. leo means no ill will#just that he is going through it from the jump and his usual emotional rock isn't there#and despite wanting to be independent he can't help but look at the person who is like her the most#it's also interesting foreshadowing with him and suraya's relationship i think#though ironically i think it would be the reverse#leo being a bit more independent and suraya struggling with that fact#okay ramble over#oc: leo â¨
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Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.
Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now
Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.
Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!
Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.
#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually#also having her say âactually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things#doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously#supposed to believe shes wrong#anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr#anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope#also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and#any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther#actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other#stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss#anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller#and silver swan. and she had a âyuck WHYâ to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less#informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller#and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours#or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah#interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pĂŠrez#and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also#like british colonization a lil bit#but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight#vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves#whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell#i got off topic here#blah#swishy rant#also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should#always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag#sui sq
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criminal minds/call of duty crossover where a serial killer is targeting sets of brothers. the bau think itâs ghost after finding out heâs on leave and looking into him and finding out about his abusive childhood. they think being military, getting held by the cartel and his familyâs murder made him snap and heâs trying to recreate a perfect childhood with perfect brothers but theyâre never perfect enough
heâs arrested when he canât provide an alibi for the nights of the murders. the interrogation is rough, even with his resistance training. he canât fight back, he canât wait out the clock until price rescues him bc itâs not ghost being interrogated, itâs simon. getting his family and childhood thrown in his face, being questioned about his time with the cartel, forced to remember everything he went through and the entire time he canât hide behind his mask bc they took it the second they brought him in
heâs being moved from interrogation to a cell when soap bursts in, screaming and swearing at them, how dare they think ghost would ever hurt those boys, after everything heâs survived, all the people heâs saved, do they really think he would ever do something like that, what the fuck is wrong with them!!
he sees how rough ghost looks, sees they took his mask and is two seconds from throwing hands with morgan. ghostâs just been quietly saying his name as he rants, trying to get through to him before he gets himself arrested too until he finally barks, âsergeant mactavish!â and soap instinctively freezes and falls to attention. he tries to make him leave but soap tells the team that ghost was with him on the nights the boys were killed and he had security footage of him coming and leaving his apartment, as well as pictures from throughout the night
the team donât believe him, asking why ghost would lie to them, he could be charged with murder if it went far enough, why hide his alibi? he stays quiet until soap finally says, âhe was protecting me. it doesnât look to good to be gay in the military. or to seduce your superior officer.â
âyou didnât seduce shit, johnny,â ghost argues back and the team realises they were trying to dodge a dishonourable discharge not hide a murder habit and releases him. they end up stealth helping them solve the case bc even if he didnât do it, seeing all of these boys, these brothers getting killed was getting to ghost in a bad way
#the extra pictures are absolutely from soap blowing ghosts back out#outside perspectives are one of my favourite things in the world#the interrogation specifically is making me lose my mind the conversation theyd have about how to go about it?#should hotch play to his obvious daddy issues and come at him heavy and aggressive? should rossi do the same but with a sympathetic approac#or go the other way a military man probably with mummy issues too so send in emily or jj and see if hes misogynistic#they think hes killing boys should reid go in and ramp up his age and vulnerability?#ghost would see through them all with his training but each approach would tear at him in different ways#that they think they can get to him by treating him like something damaged or playing to his supposed prejudices#rossi acting anything like price would fuck him up something fierce#ghost is the king of repression and being confronted with all of this? hed be losing it#and the way he protects his sergeants (roach is alive bc i said so) as if theyre his little brothers? how he goes hard on the recruits to#make sure they live?#to be told they expect him to be killing these kids? it breaks him down a bit#it stabs at a part of himself that calls him a monster and unworthy of love and affection#his fathers son#and soaps just furious that anyone could ever think ghost is capable of something like that#that they dug up his trauma and saw a man to condemn instead of a boy to be saved#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#weâre a team. ghost team#criminal minds#spencer reid#call of duty#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost mw2#save post
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I gotta be less terminally online bc every time I think about jjkâs ending I get annoyed
#jjk spoilers#I know I might not be the right audience for this#but like#none of that ending felt earned#to paraphrase Lindsey Ellis:#âOf course his actions make sense! heâs explaining them! with his words!#jjk kinda felt like a series of the characters non stop yapping and their actions saying something completely different#and I donât think it was intentionally bc of how nauseatingly happy that finale was#like there should be MASSIVE societal upheavals based on the characterâs dumb decisions#but nope! everythingâs fine!#also Gojo whoâs Gojo?#the guy who laid the groundwork for the happy ending?#actually everything was his fault and he died with no friends and none of his students mourn him#and we mutilated his corpse in a cheap attempt to get people to start reading again#but that endingâs totally fine! because he SAID that heâs okay with it!#in an out of place flashback that felt like it was written on a napkin in between edits#probably the same napkin that wasted *an entire chapter* undoing all the sacrifices from the Sukuna fight#and arguing against every reasonable complaint about the Sukuna fight and how bad the plan was#and introducing an *entire new villain* three fucking chapters before the ending#just to make Mei Mei look cool because everyone hates her and we need to like her now I guess#even though she was written as a *fucking groomer* and everyone was justifyably disgusted that it was treated as a *running joke*#uuuuuuuuuuuuugh Iâm so mad#this was the most âwell actuallyâ ass ending to a series Iâve seen in a while#if you feel the need to completely break the immersion of your series by talking directly through your characters#about how every writing decision you made was actually super smart and deep and totally worth it#then you wrote a bad ending
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#one more thing i also think itâs funny seeing the way the fandom reacts to certain rumors vs the past#taehyung had to be the test and the punching bag for all of them#now everyone keeps shouting to email bh no one talks about it on twt tl bc theyre scared and theyre scared for jk privacy#but with taehyung you had people making corny jokes on corny jokes with 10k likes#you had those pics spread everywhere and anywhere bc you had 0 respect for taehyungs life and for his person#now that it happened with a diff member everyone is walking on eggshells#and the smoking thing too⌠that grammys night taehyung got dragged with 14k quotes guys⌠14k#when jungkook video dropped all i saw was âoh hes so hotâ#and same goes for yoongi in his mv#im not saying that they should get the same hate tae got i could never im just putting things in perspective#and i wish tae got treated differently and BETTER#this fandom sometimes really doesnt deserve him#whatever this is just a rant if you read all of this congrats i guess
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Why do people like. Make me feel weird about being attracted to people my own age. Like Iâm 24 and Iâll say that someone whoâs like 22-26 is cute (anyone younger than like 21 is probs a no for me) and people will be like um they look like a fucking child you freak. Like sorry not everyone Iâm attracted to looks like someoneâs parent? Sorry I wanna feel worthy of people in my age group being into me too? Iâm in college and want the life experience of having partners who are also in college? But then when I have partners who are 30+ people tell me Iâm a victim. Why is everyone so ready to make trans and disabled ppl feel creepy for not just being fuckin ace I donât get it WHO am I supposed to like
#mine#txt#got reminded of this bc of a post where someone said itâs a red flag to be attracted to the percy jackson guy bc he looks like a baby#my coworkers do this constantly like Iâm known as Guy Who Fucks Older Men#but then if someone my literal same age is into me and Iâm into them too itâs like âum wtf theyâre not my personal type so youâre weirdâ#like yeah lady youâre in your late 30s it makes sense for u to think someone in their early-mid 20s looks young FOR YOU#and same w people my age like. you have the privilege of dating within ur age range so u donât know any other experience#but itâs like fucked up of me to want that?#its similar to how ppl treat gender and attraction like ur literally just not supposed to like anyone#bc itâs all sinful just in different ways#should not have to FUCKING say this but donât use this post to justify any actual whack shit#my whole point is DONT equate attraction to like 21-25 year olds w attraction to like. minors.#like if youâre pro fucking whatever donât touch this#also for context almost all my long term partners have been specifically 2 years older for some reason#so itâs not like itâs Only old men who like me but thatâs just like. the most common demographic#I know Iâm making many different points in the tags donât mind me I havenât slept
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either setting and company really does make a difference when tripping and that was real lsd or they gave me some fake shit and i went insane. bc shrooms have NEVER done that shit or betrayed me or make me detrans or w/e. shrooms make me embrace myself more, but I also am usually alone when I do them, so maybe it is setting and company, idk...
#i also dont do it for the same reasons other ppl do.. i actually like to use it for spiritual reasons and not just to feel different or see#trippy shit or w/e. that sounds boring tbh. thats just PART of the experience. it can and should be treated as so much more than that.#idk. i think it was fake bc it made me im p sure have my first seizure ever but then ig to soothe myself i told myself and them#it was fake. i also kept literally blacking out. i never knew what that was like before that. and I kept doing weird shit i just had no#control over myself whatsoever and kept flailing around on the ground. it sucked. shrooms doesnt make me feel like that or do that shit.#there was another guy i knew in town who took 'lsd' and he went crazy and like punched someone i think. i think we had the same shit#bc whatever tf that was made me. idek. go insane. i literally had to drop out bc it made me so fucking hyper aware of everything ppl#did and every look ppl gave me and how they were probably judging me. it was bad.#which is why im convinced it was nbome. real lsd doesnt usually make ppl do that kind of shit.#or if it does then no one should take it :|#vent
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mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom, you see its too much to ask for and i am not the doctor
read the tags for some character lore haha
#my art#artists on tumblr#fnv oc#brian sturges#<- it has been apparently three years since i last posted art of him!#i am in the midst of um. recontextualizing his and boones relationship?#i uh. think they are bad for each other and it eventually ends up in a breakup#should i elaborate#although boone is nice to him because he views brian as filler for carla#brian lets himself be enamored bc after a long string of directly bad abusive relationships#boone bombs his relationships both with brian and ty when he tells them about bittersprings#brian is a bleeding heart but i think he shoves away his thoughts on boone being a soldier bc when he warms up to him hes nice#while brian isnt from vegas he still represents that glamour and wealth. especially when he talks about the comforts he misses#these tags got out of order bc mobile sucks. anyway#hes nice because he sees a carla shaped filler#which is. super fucked.#but brian likes him treating him so nicely because its the first time in a long time to have someone romantically pursue him that way#or at least it feels that way to him#i think even before the bittersprings bombshell is dropped it becomes apparent to him that boone does not see him as equal#and holds him up to this high standard based around the idea of his dead wife that exists in his head#brian still goes along because he tells himself that he'd rather be seen highly and be codependant than outright abused... right...#but of course its very bad for him in entirely different ways#he spent this time going against his better judgement to allow boone to pursue him bc he convinced himself that he wanted this#and now that he has what he thinks he wanted he keeps trying to pump the breaks#so he becomes quiet and agreeable bc that worked in the abusive relationships why wouldnt it work for this ''''healthy'''' one#ty notices because shes been his best friend for like a decade. he knows that she knows theyre on a shared wavelength like that#but since theyre always in a group on the move theres hardly ever a beat where its just the two of them to talk about it#which also like im not gonna get into tys relationship with boone in these tags but its also very complicated#after bittersprings it all comes falling down though brian cant let himself be agreeable anymore#ive been thinking abt this for a while as ive become more of a boone hater
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LIAR, LIAR!
PAIRING â kim mingyu x fem!reader
â AND THE DANCE FLOOR IS FILLING UP WITH BLOOD, BUT OH LORD, YOUâVE NEVER BEEN SO IN LOVE! â
WORD COUNT â 17k
SYNOPSIS â in a dramatic turn of events, a rich businessman is found dead in his lavish estate, and the authorities believe it was no accident. as the detectives dig deeper, they ultimately end up with two key suspects: you, the businessmanâs very own daughter, and your sworn enemy, kim mingyu. as the time progresses, tensions rise and secrets spill â and the truth has the power to either bring you closer together or tear you apart.
TAGS â murder mystery, rich rivals to partners in crime to lovers, whole lotta plot, explicit sexual content, somewhat graphic depictions of death, everyone and everything is dysfunctionalâ˘, mentions of suicide, unrealistic circumstances, moral compass is nowhere to be found, angst, medium long hair!gyu bc self-indulgence, tsundere-ish reader again guys sorry i love her so bad, mentions of parental neglect, this ended up so long help
⪠verydeadly - wolves (kanye west cover),, low - dancing and blood,, vessel - red sex,, florence + the machine - mermaids,, zayn - bordersz,, mikky ekko - who are you, really?,, q - alone,, danna paola - tenemos que hablar,, blue foundation - eyes on fire (4 ave version),, summer camp - i want you
NOTE â one of my favorite episodes of going seventeen remains bad clue 2020, i loved mingyuâs role in it and i could totally see him portraying darker/morally grey characters and rock tf out of it so. i wrote this solely based on that idea. the music recs above are also really nice to get into the vibe! enjoyyyy :D
[ ONE ] â§Ë ¡ .â â
[ JUMP TO PART TWO ]
i. ASK ME THE TRUTH AND IâLL TELL YOU A LIE
the interrogation room is unnecessarily bright, the noise of the water dispenser in the corner and the flickering led light above you running through your ears. the chair youâre seated on is uncomfortable, though itâs nothing compared to the tension you feel as the man in front of you treats you like youâre guilty of something.
âon september 2nd, around six oâclock, your father reportedly got unwell, so he left his office early, choosing to do the rest of his paperwork at home. according to the information we got from the gps tracker in his car, he went straight home, took no detours. he arrived at your family estate thirty minutes later. then at eight oâclock, the police receives a call from you, saying your father hung himself.â
you stare at the the inspector â whose name you did not bother remembering â before waving with your hand. âiâm aware. iâve heard the recap of events many times at this point. this isnât the first time iâm being interrogated, surprisingly enough.â
with a puzzled look, he raises his brow at you. âyou donât think you should be a suspect?â
âno, i donât.â
âat the time of the incident, you were home, as well as two members of the staff. since the staff were on their dinner break and you were apparently in your room, itâs hard to say what exactly happened, since there were no witnesses.â
âdo you mind me asking why you think itâs murder and not just a suicide?â
heâs intrigued by the way you discuss the topic so casually. âyour father was an important man. wouldnât you want to know who killed him if that were the case?â
âsure. iâd thank them.â you smile at him, the hatred for your father shining through. âbelieve me, inspector â my father was a miserable man who surrounded himself with miserable people. i wasnât there by choice.â
âdid he treat you badly, then?â he continues, trying to pry any information out of you.
all you can do is sigh. âi was his daughter in blood and name only. nothing more.â
with your demeanor softening into something sadder, the inspectorâs tone changes into something different. âaside from you, and the staff, of course, we do have another suspect who we think could have something to do with your fatherâs death.â
that sparks your interest. âwho?â
the inspector grabs his small pile of documents to pull a printed photo out of it, putting it before you. you visibly frown, because the person on the photo is someone youâre unfortunately awfully familiar with.
âkim mingyu is a suspect? seriously?â you ask, completely in shock. ironically, heâs the last person youâd suspect in a scenario like the one you currently find yourself in.
âwhat can you tell me about him?â
leaning back in your chair, you list a few things. âheâs a year younger than me. we went to the same high school, same university, have some of the same friends. though all of that is relatively common in our social circle.â
âanything else?â
keeping the insults to yourself for now, you press your lips together. âour parents are good friends. well, were, now that my fatherâs gone. mingyu and i hate eachother to the bone, though.â
âany particular reason why?â
âiâm not sure where it started⌠thereâs just something off about him. itâs always been there. heâsâbeyond arrogant. always showing off his looks, his wealth, his charm, his intelligence. everything. he insults me, i insult him. we simply donât get along, never have. nothing you havenât seen before, iâm sure.â
the inspector raises his brow. âi think you may have left something out.â
âsuch as?â
his hand moves into the blue folder sitting on the table, taking another photo out of it, holding it up before you. âyour father was often spotted with him. at events, business meetings â you name it. matter of fact, your father seemed to be accompanied by kim mingyu more than anyone else. which is interesting, considering you are his only child.â
your gaze turns sour, voice softer yet more hateful than before. âdonât tell me this is the reason iâm a suspect.â
âletâs just say it doesnât make you look good.â
âyou really believe i murdered my own father in cold blood because he cared more about kim mingyu than he ever did about me? thatâs pathetic and ridiculous.â
âyou wouldnât be the first. itâs a plausible story.â
scoffing at the accusation, you shake your head. âweâre done here. the moment you have an actual lead, iâll talk, but not like this. iâm still here grieving and youâre accusing me of being the culprit.â you get up in anger, taking your bag with you before slamming the door shut, not bothering to listen to what the man is trying to tell you to make you stay.
this whole shit-train started two weeks ago. your father was found dead in your childhood home, hung by a rope around his neck. instead of calling it a death by suicide, the police apparently have enough reason to suspect it was a homicide.
youâve been questioned several times in the past few weeks, but thereâs been a gradual shift in the behavior of the inspector and his handimen â theyâre treating you like a suspect now.
which you are, for whatever reason. they have yet to come up with any actual evidence.
your contact in the police force mentioned to you that youâre not just any suspect â youâre one of the two main suspects.
and that is unsettling, especially when you discovered who else is.
as you go down the hall, you suddenly lock eyes with kim mingyu himself, whoâs leaning against the wall with his hands in the pockets of his trousers. a few strands of hair hover by his cheeks, framing his strong features.
âwhat the fuck are you doing here?â you ask in a rather hostile manner, the scowl on your face deepening.
his lips part before he starts explaining. âthey wanted to talk to me. again.â
âhavenât you heard the rumors, gyu?â you mockingly use the nickname, taking a step closer to him, âtheyâre saying thereâs a possibility you killed him.â
your arch-nemesis looks back at you with a furrowed brow. âthatâs ridiculous.â
âis it? you were always with him⌠itâs perhaps the only thing that makes sense in all of this.â
he seems offended youâd even insinuate something like that. âitâs really the other way around, though. youâre the one who hated him. i had nothing against the man.â
itâs true that you and your father didnât exactly get along, especially the past few years, to put it lightly. you always considered him to be greedy, cold and unforgiving, and you certainly didnât cry the moment they told you he had passed away.
âno, we all know how much you liked him,â you hardly make an effort to hide your disdain, âbut they must not believe that, considering youâre just as much of a suspect as i am.â
he clenches his jaw. âiâm not guilty.â
âneither am i.â you state. like always, thereâs a tangible coldness to your voice, which he finds soothing, for whatever reason.
itâs quiet for a moment as youâre both unsure of what to say next, a rarity between you.
a few years ago, your father mentioned you and mingyu could make a good pair.
you proceeded to laugh in his face.
mingyu is a constant reminder of what you could be, and thatâs the last thing you need in your life.
âif i find out youâre somehow involved in thisââ
instead of immediately refuting the statement, he narrows his eyes at you. âthen what?â
you realize you need to be careful with your words here â you canât throw around threats to kill people as the top suspect in a murder investigation. âiâll make sure you pay for it. they might buy your little golden-boy act, but i sure as shit donât. i never have.â
a smirk subtly tugs at his lips as he leans more down, eyes flicking lower before they meet yours again. âiâd be careful with my words if i were you,â he firmly tells you, his lashes fluttering, âthereâs always someone watching.â
only now do you take notice of how close youâre standing to him, and you look behind you, seeing the inspector that just interrogated you observing you and mingyu from a distance.
so you push yourself away from him, giving him a last glare before walking away.
mingyu only moves from his spot once youâre gone from his field of view, greeting the inspector with a kind smile.
ii. THE HATRED WE BEAR
you find yourself staring at your fatherâs tombstone with a numb face and the wind breezing through your hair. your makeup is slightly smudged under your eyes from the tears you shed just an hour before, while you were giving the public a final speech regarding his passing.
the funeral was long â too long.
at a certain point, once the whole thing was done and everyone left, you decided to take a quiet moment for yourself in the graveyard to let everything sink in.
you made the mistake of thinking youâd left alone.
a voice youâre too familiar with speaks up behind you. âiâm sorry for your loss.â
of course itâs kim mingyu out of all people whoâs still here, sneaking up on you.
you donât have the energy to make a snarky comment this time. âiâd ask why youâre still here, but itâs a question i already know the answer to.â
he still offers you his answer. âiâm here to check up on you.â
well, that takes you by surprise. âwhy?â
âyou lost the one parent you had left. i donât want you to be alone.â
something about that sentence fuels a sudden anger in you. heâs got some fucking nerve, saying that to you. âmaybe you shouldâve considered that a couple years ago. you know, before you decided to become my dadâs little protege.â
even as a little girl, your bond with your father was a shitty one. your mother passed when you were young, so you barely have any memories left of her.
in an attempt to win his love and affection, you always did everything your father asked of you, yet your efforts were hardly acknowledged. you found him to be a harsh and cruel man, but surely with you being his daughter, his only child, he mustâve cared for you. or so you always told yourself.
something about your yearning for his approval and support changed for the worse when mingyuâs mother became a prominent business partner to your father, about nine years ago. it made him spend more time with the kim family, and you have no idea how or why it happened, but mingyu became like a son for him.
you saw how well your dad treated him, and you cried for a long, long time as you compared it to his neglect towards you. for every pat on mingyuâs back, you got scolded for not being good enough. whenever he got praised, you got discarded. itâs no miracle that you came to be the way that you are. detached, perceptive, appearing to be just as unfeeling as the man who raised you.
you hated your father. with all your heart.
but you grew to hate kim mingyu more.
so to hear him say that he doesnât want you to be alone â that takes the goddamn cake.
he lowers his head at your words. âit wasnât like that.â
âright. of course it wasnât.â your voice is painfully spiteful.
âi wouldnât have done it if i knew it was at your expense. iâm sorry.â
heâs trying to be nice to you, not understanding yet that itâs actually doing more damage, making you angrier. âthe last thing i want is your fucking pity.â
âthen what do you want?â
ânothing you can give me.â itâs a subtle final warning coming from you, because youâre actually about to explode at him. âjust leave me be.â
âplease, just... i wanna help you.â
like a ticking time bomb, you suddenly hit your limit. finally, you turn around, facing him, and itâs only then that he truly sees how upset you are, like a storm suddenly changing its direction, and heâs in the way.
âhelp me? youâd help me by getting the fuck out of my face. you wanna know what i want, mingyu? i want to know what in godâs name everyone loves so much about you, what it is that made my father shut me out completely and replace me with you. he gave you more love than he ever gave me. just looking at you makes me sick. what the fuck did he see in you that he didnât see in me?â you ask, unable to stop yourself from pouring your emotions out to the guy in front of you. âwhy did he hate me so much? even in death, he favors you over me. he left you... everything. a final âfuck youâ to his own child. and for what? for you?â
the fact that you got word from your fatherâs lawyer that your father chose to leave everything he had to mingyu instead of you was like the straw that broke the camelâs back.
throughout your life, you always did what was expected of you. you were the perfect daughter.
and for what?
the fact that your father grew to hate you and love this asshole so much that he left you not a single penny to your name â that is your tipping point.
and mingyu just wordlessly allows you to continue ranting, almost as if he deserves it.
âwhat the fuck is so special about you, huh? because i donât get it. sure, youâve got a nice face and youâre a smart guy, but i donât believe you actually give a shit about others. i bet you came here today to rub my dadâs inheritance in my face â you fucking pretentious douchebag.â
âiâm sorry. i never meantââ he stumbles, nearly falling over as he backs away while you keep stepping forward, feeling surprisingly small in front of you, in spite of his tall frame.
âi donât give a shit if this is what you intended to happen or not! iâm all alone.â you show your sadness right between the anger and hostility, vulnerable in front of him. âno family like everyone else, no money, no house, nothing. abandoned by the one person i had left.â
he looks at you as if youâve just slapped him across the face. heâs never even shown you a hint of vulnerability â nor have you for that matter â so why is he showing it now?
youâre too deep into your breakdown to think rationally about it. âyou took literally everything that i had. and iâll never forgive you for that.â
âplease, let meâlet me fix it.â he chokes out, as overwhelmed by your strong emotions as you are yourself.
the harshness of your words makes him feel like heâs crumbling in your presence. âtalk to me like you care about me one more goddamn time, and iâll make you regret ever meeting me in the first place.â
in all the years that youâve known him, you donât think youâve ever seen him flinch â you doubt any of your words have ever hurt him.
until this moment, it seems. but why is he even hurt? you donât care about him and he doesnât care about you. itâs always been that way, and you have a hard time believing itâll ever change.
the moment you walk away from him with a sharp pain in your chest, pushing him to the side by his shoulder, heâs left behind in a shocked and bewildered state, neither of you aware that a pair of curious eyes witnessed the whole exchange.
iii. ULTERIOR MOTIVES
âthe full inheritance of your father has been transferred over to you.â
the cup of tea you were raising stills with your hand. your eyes narrow at your lawyer as youâre seated in the garden of your fatherâs estate. âwhatâhow? why? it wasnât passed down to me.â
âno, but the person it was passed down to can always make the decision to pass it on. and he did â surprisingly with no strings attached,â he tells you, putting the document from the notary in front of you, âi had it all double-checked. everythingâs there, the documents signed by kim mingyu himself.â
just hearing the name makes you grimace, putting you off your tea. âand thereâs absolutely nothing he wants from me?â
ânothing was mentioned, no. he did, however, leave you a note.â
âwhat does it say?â
your lawyer raises his brow as he reads it, handing it to you instead of reading it out loud, which makes you give him a puzzled look before casting your eyes downwards to the piece of paper.
tomorrow, 4:30, my apartment. all you have to do is sign the papers. i look forward to the day youâll make me regret meeting you.
âthat asshole.â you mutter to yourself, not loud enough for your lawyer to hear it, but heâs certainly got an idea of how you feel about the whole situation.
âyou do, of course, always have the option to reject the inheritance, but i would highly recommend not to. frankly, in all of my years of experience in this field, iâve never felt a bigger need to encourage a client to take a deal.â
once youâve picked up the documents and skimmed over the words, you look back at him. âand if i did accept it, it wouldnât contain any possible implications for me in the long term?â
ânone. it is... fairly remarkable heâs willing to give you the full inheritance for nothing in return, even if he and his family are known for their wealth. but it wouldnât be a significant loss for him, considering the capital he already has to his name.â the man explains, not needing to spell it out for you.
you put down your cup. âknowing him, iâm not so sure he doesnât want anything. i suppose iâll have to talk to him about it myself, tomorrow.â
your lawyer highly encourages you to do so, leaving you to spend the rest of the day wondering what he could possibly want from you.
and so the following day, at 4:30 sharp, you step into his apartment â penthouse is the more fitting term. youâll admit, though, that heâs got style.
itâs dead silent in his place, save for the metronome in the background and the slow brew of his coffee machine. heâs wearing a white long-sleeved shirt with black trousers as he approaches you. âglad you could make it. coffee?â
âwhy are you willing to give me the inheritance?â you ask directly, not feeling up for the unnecessary chitchat. youâve always hated small talk. âif it was just a set-up, iâm leaving.â
he doesnât seem to be even the slightest bit surprised by your forwardness. âiâm willing to give it to you because a) i donât need it, and b) i donât want it. i think itâs ridiculous your dad set up his will like this.â
âwell, that makes two of us.â you fake a polite smile, clearly very sarcastically, putting your hand on your hip. âyou asked me to come sign the papers, but i have yet to see them.â
mingyu smiles a little at you. of course youâd skip straight to business â you never were a girl of many words. he walks over to a cupboard and takes a sealed folder with the documents out of a drawer, handing it to you.
when you attempt to take the folder from him, he swiftly retracts his hand like the asshole he is. âitâs not completely free, though.â
you pinch the bridge of your nose. âof course. i shouldâve known better than to believe you were willing to do something out of the kindness of your own heart.â
he just keeps going as if he didnât hear you, very much used to the little quips you throw at him by now. âdonât worry, i think you can manage this very small task for me.â
âjust tell me what you want alreadyââ
âmy familyâs hosting a gala next week, on friday. iâd like you to be my date.â
youâre baffled. this is what he wants in return for the inheritance worth millions of dollars? to have you on his arm for a single night?
oh, hell no. youâre not falling for it.
âwhy? you wanna publicly humiliate me or something?â you question, a deep frown settled in your forehead.
he huffs, annoyed that youâd think that low of him. âi know weâve always hated eachother, but, maybe, during a hard time⌠it would be nice to have one relaxed night. and yeah, i wouldnât mind doing that with a pretty girl to keep me company. what do you say? deal?â
not once in all the years youâve known him has he ever called you pretty.
âfine. but donât think about pulling any stunts.â
âwouldnât dare.â his smile sits somewhere beween teasing and serious when he finally hands you the papers.
you sit down and briefly scan the documents, not signing them right away to have them checked by your lawyer first. âif everything in this is according to the plan, youâll have them signed by tomorrow morning.â
âokay. see you friday.â he winks at you, escorting you to his front door, a subtle grin on his face that gives off the impression heâs planning something, and you can only imagine what it might be.
there is one good thing about having to spend time in his family home, though â and thatâs to search his rooms to find anything that might implicate him having something to do with your fatherâs murder.
since thereâs still a culprit to be named.
with your own agenda in mind, you walk out of his apartment, searching for the name of your stylist in your contacts.
youâre going to need a dress, after all.
iv. A PROPOSAL
with a stern look on your face, you look at the entrance of the gala from the tinted window of your car. itâs all bright lights and colorful decorations, candles, flowers â the kim family is well known for their luxurious and memorable parties. youâve attended plenty of them. while you and mingyu may not get along, his sister and mother are genuine sweethearts, some of the kindest and most welcoming people you know.
if only you could say the same for the asshole youâre about to spend the evening with.
after checking your makeup in the pocket-sized mirror for a final time, your driver opens your door so you can step out of the car, which leaves you on your own in front of the stairs.
mingyu originally mentioned he wanted to pick you up at your home like the gentleman he very much claims to be, but you very quickly shut the idea down and told him youâd just meet him at his familyâs mansion.
so here you are.
attending a gala only a month after your fatherâs funeral must seem like an⌠interesting choice, to say the least. the people you come across express their condolences and ask if youâre doing well â you wonder if the sentiment is real or not â and you tell them youâre here because it serves well as a distraction.
youâve become an excellent liar over the years.
as youâre standing at the top of the stairs, leaning on the railing, you observe the people on the dance floor below. those who arenât dancing are chattering, the noises of clinking glasses and laughter filling your ears.
most of the time, youâre able to somewhat enjoy this life. but the truth is that it can be as exhausting as it is glamorous.
but with your last living parent gone, you do feel a sense of freedom, even if it is lonely at times.
not like you didnât feel lonely when he was still alive.
you didnât love him or care for your father. you cared for the hope that someday he would change. that he would show you he did care for you, even a little bit.
but that day never came.
he was primarily an investor, so at least you havenât been burdened with having to take over a business or anything like it. having no siblings either, you feel like you should take this opportunity to start fresh; focus on building your own career and use your fatherâs money for things heâd never approve of.
suddenly, you spot your date in the midst of the crowd, breaking you out of your train of thoughts. his half-long hair looks pretty on him, you have to admit, the few strands in front of his face paired with the tailored, navy suit giving him the appearance of a model.
heâs currently talking to an older woman who clearly seems to adore him, the smile he puts up making her give him a gentle, loving squeeze on his upper arms. like always, no one is able to read the bitterness you feel as your face remains neutral.
growing up in your restricted social circle of the countryâs wealthiest families, your group of peers wasnât extremely big. you all went to the same primary school, same private high school. mingyu was always one of if not the most popular kid at school. an effortless ace at every fucking thing. everyone loved him, be it your peers or their parents.
you wouldnât say you werenât popular. quite the opposite, actually. your best friend was the queen bee of the school, as she was always striving to be the best in everything. top of the class, highest achievements, a true perfectionist at heart. bold, definitely a bit judgemental and classist too, but once sheâs your friend, sheâs the sweetest girl in the world. she did like to dabble in some drama with others if it came onto her path.
and you were the opposite. you preferred to steer clear of any drama, much preferring to watch it unfold from the sidelines â as you usually just didnât care enough to interfere with it â and you were never quite as talkative as your best friend.
the sentences leaving your mouth are always quick, direct, sharp and without stutter. youâre masterful at small talk, even though you hate it. you know how to play people like a fiddle. your father made you use your manipulation skills to good use rather frequently.
many consider you cold and calculated.
which is true, of course. but you still have a heart, even if it barely beats.
the outburst you gave mingyu after your fatherâs funeral mustâve come as a shock to him. no one has ever seen you in such a vulnerable and weak state, and out of all the people who couldâve seen it, it naturally had to be him â and that makes you uncomfortable.
once heâs finished his conversation, he looks in front of him, then up at the balcony â and he locks eyes with you.
you give him a look of acknowledgment, but thatâs it. he doesnât seem to mind, though, still shining as brightly as ever, making his way up the stairs as fast as he can. âiâm sorry i wasnât at the entrance to greet you, i didnât think youâd be here so soon.â
âitâs fine.â
he glances up and down, admiring the dress you chose. âyou look gorgeous.â
the deeply dark green dress with its boat neckline, long and fitted sleeves and intricate gold embroidery makes you look elegant. with the dress itself already being quite the statement piece, you chose to pair it with dainty earrings, your hair half-up and curled.
âthank you.â you donât bother saying anything about his appearance. he must be used to it at this point.
âcan i get you something to drink?â
you test the waters by throwing in a joke. âwhat, planning on poisoning me?â
his eyes flicker for a moment, stricken by something you canât quite place, which makes you blink at him. his flirtatious and charming self returns within a mere second, and he proceeds to snicker at your joke. âi could, but whereâd be the fun in that?â
rolling your eyes at him, you take his arm once heâs offered it, keeping in mind youâre doing this for the inheritance.
the time goes by quicker than expected. he introduces you to some of the people heâs close with, tells you stories youâve never heard before, even asks you about yours.
a few of his friends come by as well, surprised to see you by mingyuâs side. most people your age here know that you and him have never quite gotten along, to put it lightly.
when they subtly ask about it, mingyu tells them he insisted you came to distract yourself from the death of your father, and that you could probably use a party.
it raises more question marks as to what his motive is for asking you to be here tonight. what is he gaining from this? he hasnât humiliated you yet. if anything, heâs only spoken of you highly, save for the little snark he keeps between the two of you.
itâs strange. really strange.
after a while, once all the guests have been drinking a bit, you decide to set your own plan in motion. this might be your only chance to snoop around here, as you doubt youâll find yourself in here again anytime soon.
youâre literally invited in his home â youâd be a fool not to check his room.
unfortunately, just as you try to disappear from the crowd, mingyu extends his hand to you. âdance with me?â
just as youâre about to refuse him, you remember that this is the one night you have to be nice to him, all so he can give you the inheritance that was meant to be yours in the first place.
with a small sigh, you slide your hand in his, at which he grins triumphantly.
before you know it, youâre in the middle of the room together, and he has his one hand on your lower back, the other hand intertwined with yours. heâs smooth with his moves, you have to admit.
the question has already left your mouth when you process it. âwhy am i here? iâm sure thereâs a reason i needed to be your date tonight.â
mingyu cocks his head at you. âi think youâve had to endure a lot the past couple weeks. the incident, the interrogations, the press, the shit with the inheritance â iâm impressed you havenât lost your mind yet.â
âhow do you know i havenât?â you ask, and he twirls you around, his hands feeling like theyâre burning on your skin. âwasnât my breakdown after the funeral enough to prove you otherwise?â
âwell, looking back, i shouldâve probably left you alone in that moment. but i did think about what you said, and you can correct me if iâm wrong, but i feel like your father and our ties to him were what made us hate eachother so much. now that heâs gone, maybe we can⌠i donât know. tolerate one another.â
you make sure to hide your confusion from him. does he really not see it? sure, the main reason youâve always despised mingyu was because of his relationship with your father, but you werenât exactly best friends before that either.
even putting it like that would still make it the understatement of the year.
if he actually pictures the two of you becoming friends, though, heâs lost it.
unsure of what to tell him, you give him a shitty excuse to escape the conversation. âiâm just gonna use the ladiesâ room, if you donât mind.â you let mingyu know, and he nods at you in acknowledgement, caught off guard by you leaving so suddenly.
so you walk off, the voices of the people and the music in the hall fading into the background as you trail off.
now that youâre alone, you can finally go check his room.
itâs harder to navigate the mansion than you thought. hallways that all look similar, god knows how many rooms â you hope you wonât get lost here.
one of your best friends is good friends with mingyuâs sister, and so she knows the place like the back of her hand. when you asked her for the layout of the place, she did think it strange, but you told her she had nothing to worry about.
mingyuâs bedroom and study are supposedly on the third floor of the east wing, and the party takes place in the west wing.
so thatâs just fucking great.
your best friend did warn you that he most often keeps his doors locked whenever visitors are present, so to ensure you could get in, you snatched the key from his pocket when he was dancing with you earlier.
it almost makes you chuckle when you think about how easy it was.
when youâve finally arrived at what seems to be the door to mingyuâs room, you double-check the environment around you to see whether anyoneâs following you, and when it appears to be safe, you shove the key into the lock, twisting it.
you exhale when realizing itâs the right key.
entering the room, you quickly shut it behind you, taking in the sight.
itâs raining outside, which you take notice of through the large windows. several paintings adorn the walls â you didnât know he was a lover of art â as well as some photos of him with his family.
the room is surprisingly tidy, his clothes all neatly folded on the wooden planks in his closet and the drawers underneath. the few books he has sitting on top of the cupboard are gathering dust â you suppose he doesnât like to read all that much.
of course he doesnât.
his king-sized bed seems soft and comfortable, and the room smells of the cologne and perfume he always wears.
you blink a few times, realizing youâre dwelling too much on details that are not a priority right now.
which is enough to snap you awake, a rush of adrenaline moving through your veins as you look for anything interesting. files, documents, notebooks â anything.
you find his agenda in a drawer of his desk. with slightly trembling fingers, you move the pages back to the date of your fatherâs death, as well as the days before that.
as youâre caught up with doing so, you momentarily forget the first rule of breaking into a forbidden space: never turn your back to a door when you should be watching it.
âyou know, iâm starting to think you agreeing to be my date came with ulterior motives on your side.â you suddenly hear mingyuâs voice behind you, at which you turn around, looking a bit too guilty for comfort.
your voice almost gets caught up in your throat, but you keep your composure. âif it makes you feel any better, i didnât plan this.â
âitâs alright.â he responds, closing the door behind him smoothly, as if he doesnât want you to see it. âyou still think i had something to do with your fatherâs death, donât you?â
âiâm not sure. i donât see why you would, now that youâve given me the inheritance. what other motive could you have?â
all mingyu does is clench his jaw at the rhetorical question. then he snaps out of it, his eyes trailing to the desk youâre currently leaning on. he takes a few steps closer to you, and you raise a brow, waiting in anticipation what heâll do.
his face is suddenly very close to yours, and youâre almost convinced heâs leaning in to touch you when he reaches for the drawer behind you instead. âwell, as a matter of fact, i did have something to show you.â
that surprises you.
âyour father always carried a little red notebook with him. itâs the only part of the inheritance i didnât give you, solely because i wanted to show you myself. thereâs a few strange scribblings in it, with locations and numbers, and look at thisââ he opens it up in front of you, pointing at the paper with his index finger, âapparently he felt like he was being followed just days before he died. maybe the police is right and he did get murdered.â
âyeah, i already figured he probably pissed off the wrong guy.â when he looks at you hopefully, you shrug. âwhat?â
âwe should check it out, right? find out who killed him.â
you immediately shake your head at his suggestion. âno.â
mingyuâs whole body language changes, genuine confusion overtaking his features. âwhat do you mean, no?â
âhe was caught up in all kinds of shit, things i never wanted to be a part of. thatâs no different now that heâs six feet under.â
âare you not the slightest bit curious who killed him?â
âfrankly, no, iâm not. iâd say whoever is guilty did me a favor.â
despite your valid point, he persists. âokay, then how about this â what if this person would come after you for whatever reason? donât you want to know who youâre dealing with?â
you narrow your eyes at him. âwhy do you care so much, mingyu? iâm sure this is something you could manage on your own.â
the sudden question surprises him, so he shrugs. âmaybe iâm not sure why. but i do. and you know i did care for him.â
âwhy donât you just let the police handle it?â
âbecause they donât know this world â and we have access to places, people they wouldnât even know where to find or how to deal with. have you talked to the detectives? theyâre amateurs.â he answers, pausing before taking a step closer to you. âheâs dead either way, doing a small bit of research might be interesting. who knows what you might find.â
âand you wanna do this with me of all people because...?â
he rolls his eyes at the question. âyou were the only other person directly affected by it. câmon, am i really so bad that you canât even deal with me for a little while?â
the fact that you just give him a deadpan stare tells him all he needs to know.
it makes you bite your lip. you donât feel like doing this at all, certainly not with mingyu of all people, but he appears to be ready to do this with or without you.
besides, you do feel up for a little adventure.
âfine, iâll bite. hypothetically, what if i were interested in finding out who killed him?â
the young man in front of you tilts his head. âthen iâd suggest we work together and do some digging.â
pursing your lips, you watch his pleased expression when he notices youâre actually considering it. âwhy do i feel like iâm gonna regret this?â
âmaybe you will. maybe you wonât. we can go right back to hating eachother after this, but for now, weâll be partners. deal?â
your eyes linger on the hand heâs stretched out to you, and even as youâre hesitant to take it, he doesnât take his eyes off you.
with a sigh, you shake his hand. âokay. deal.â
v. PARTNERS IN CRIME
âfor someone so organized, he sure as hell has a lot of unnecessary shit lying around here.â mingyu mutters, searching through the drawers of the cupboard.
you scoff in agreement. âtell me about it.â
the two of you are rummaging through your fatherâs study in your home in an attempt to find anything interesting as to what he mightâve been up to the past few years.
so far, youâve had zero luck with it.
you already figured thereâd probably be nothing of interest here, but mingyu insisted, said it would be stupid not to. so here you are.
âyou know, iâm pretty sure my dad wouldnât be as stupid as to just leave traces of his criminal affiliations lying around in his study.â
mingyu shrugs while simultaneously looking into a drawer. âyou never know.â
âhe was an asshole, but he was a smart one.â you mumble to yourself as you go through the little notebook mingyu just handed you a few minutes ago.
he watches you with curiosity. âcan i ask you something?â
without looking up at him, you give him a rather direct response. âiâm sure youâll ask me regardless of my answer to that question.â
ever so indifferent, he thinks. if anything, one thing about you he is actually fond of is your unfiltered attitude. more people should be like that. âyou said youâd never forgive me for what i did to you."
hearing those words makes you look up at him. youâre surprised heâs taking an approach this straightforward with you. âi know what i said.â
âis there nothing i can do to at least make things more civil between us?â
god, youâre sick of him already.
instead of outright telling him you hate him more than anyone else you know, you cross your arms over your chest and fire a question right back at him. âwhy do you want things to be different between us? donât tell me youâre losing sleep over it, now.â
mingyu pauses a moment before he answers you. âi thought about the things you said, when you were upset with me, and i realized iâve made your life harder without having intended to do so. and yeah, i am losing sleep over it.â
while he does appear earnest, you donât exactly trust him, so all you do is shrug your shoulders.
he wants to say something right when his phone rings. once he picks up, you figure it must be something business-related, judging by the tone of his voice and formal language.
an apology directed at you leaves his mouth as soon as heâs hit the red button on his screen. âiâm sorry. an important business meeting was moved and i promised my mom iâd be there.â
youâve met mingyuâs mother a few times, at events. sheâs the ceo of a very prominent hotel business. many of the highest ranked hotels around the world are under her care, and she clearly knows what sheâs doing, since her business has been thriving for many years at this point. you remember it was her who took over as ceo after mingyuâs father passed in a car accident when he was younger.
âthen you better get going.â you tell him, your face not pulling a single muscle. you hope he didnât think you were going to ask him to stay.
he nods at your words, taking the jacket with his initials embroidered in the tag and slinging it over his arm. âyeah. iâll call you.â he says, going out the doorway, yet your voice makes him halt in his tracks.
âmingyu.â you say his name to him, an unfamiliar feeling on your tongue, and he turns to look back at you.
he awaits your words, catching the subtle warning in your eyes as you refer back to the question of his you had yet to answer.
âwe may be working together now â call us associates, or even partners in crime â but once this is over, weâll go right back to strangers. letâs just keep this⌠somewhat professional.â
you find he can be surprisingly hard to read from time to time, for a guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. after blankly staring at you for a few seconds, processing the words, he just offers you a little smile and a gentle response. âokay.â
and he walks off, only leaving you more intrigued than before.
for two days, itâs complete radio silence from mingyu. all he asked you over text was if youâd been able to find anything in the study, to which you replied with a simple no. he didnât say anything else.
you sincerely thought this whole investigation of yours wasnât actually gonna lead to anything, that it was useless â until now.
itâs eleven oâclock, dark outside, the metronome ticking in the background of your living room as your eyes are glued to the screen of your laptop.
you just got a notification from the bank that someone made a significant withdrawal from one of your fatherâs bank accounts, one that still needs to be signed over to your name.
question is, who the fuck has access to your fatherâs bank account besides you?
no one. supposedly.
staring at mingyuâs contact in your phone, you twist your lips, unsure of whether to call him about this or not.
going against your gut, you press on his phone number and wait for him to answer the call.
nothing.
for good measure, you call him a second time. same result.
then it hits you. you spoke to wonwoo last night â he mentioned something about him and mingyu going out together this evening.
wonwoo, thankfully, does pick up his phone. âhey. whatâs up?â
âhey. are you with mingyu right now?â
âyeah, why?â
âwhere are you?â
âuhââ he stutters out an address in the middle of the city, clearly confused by the urgency in your voice. âwhatâs going on? what do you need mingyu for?â
âwell, itâs hard to explain. anyway, iâm coming over.â
âheâs kind ofââ
you quickly interrupt him by hanging up. taking your wallet and car keys, you head out. the address wonwooâs given you is located in the club scene downtown, and you make it there in no-time with the navigation on your phone.
parking your car across the block, you get out and check your phone, heading to wherever wonwoo and mingyu currently are. you usually tend to go for the clubs at the other side of the city, as the vibe feels a little different here, but youâve been around the neighborhood a couple times, so itâs not entirely unfamiliar to you.
when you arrive at the club, you catch the sight of your friend leaning against the stone wall outside.
jeon wonwoo, all handsome in his expensive jacket and sleek shoes, looks surprised when he notices you of all people coming up to him, even though you told him you were coming. his voice is soft when he greets you. âhey. you gonna tell me what exactly youâre doing here?â
shrugging your shoulders, you put your hands in the pockets of your black coat. âyou said you were here with mingyu. i gotta talk to him.â
âright now?â
taking note of his baffled reaction, you tilt your head to the side. âyes, right now. i donât care if heâs occupied.â
wonwoo brings a cigarette to his lips, pushing the pair of dark-rimmed glasses higher up his nose. âwhatâs going on with you and him, anyway? i thought you hated each other.â
âwe still do.â
âwell, somethingâs changed.â
âbelieve me, wonwoo, i donât like him any more than he likes me.â
all he does is narrow his dark eyes at you.
just when you want to open the backdoor to the club, wonwoo stops you. âyou do know what kind of establishment this place is, right?â
frowning at him, you open the door just the slightest bit to check whatever heâs getting at, and once you catch sight of the pink and red lights, sensual music and metal poles attached to the ceiling, you momentarily close the door again.
right. this must be one of those clubs that are hidden from the prying eyes of non-customers, to give the illusion thereâs nothing going on behind these walls, giving the rich clients some privacy in their activities.
you roll your eyes. âwhen you said you were going to the club, i didnât think you meant a strip club.â
âi was about to tell you when you hung up on me.â
âso why are you out here and not in there with him?â
âbecause i wanted to smoke and he felt like heading into a more secluded space. with company, no doubt.â
oh, this is gonna be fun. since kim mingyu pretty much ruined your life, the very least you can do in return is ruin his night. you briefly chuckle to yourself. âalright. well, have fun smoking.â
âyouâre still going in?â he calls after you, and all you can do is scoff.
âyou think i care whether kim mingyuâs gonna have a good time or not?â
âforget i asked.â he responds, the hint of a smile tugging at his facial features. âiâll wait here âtil you get back.â
you shoot him a knowing smirk before stepping into the club. remaining in the background, you scan the area to see if thereâs a glimpse of him somewhere.
at the other side of the bar, a man seems to be on watch in front of a separate hallway, so you figure thatâs where the jackpot is.
not bothering to look back at the bartender, whose gaze trails after you, you head over to where you need to be, which is where youâre stopped in your path, as expected.
âthese are occupied private rooms, maâam.â a bouncer tells you.
âlook, sir, iâŚâ you begin, coming up with some bullshit excuse to get past him, âiâm pretty sure i saw my boyfriend just go in here with a dancer. all i want is a confirmation, iâm not looking to start drama.â
before the man can respond, you wordlessly hold up a small stack of hundred dollar bills between your index and middle finger, waiting for him to take the bribe.
works like a charm wherever you go.
his demeanor changes once he sees the money. âwhatâs he look like?â
âtall, dark medium-long hair, brown eyes, pretty handsome â though thatâs probably subjective.â you shrug, adding a little fake smile to it. you can get far in life with a little charm and money.
the few generic features seem to be enough for the bouncer to know who youâre talking about. he takes the money from your hand, pointing his finger at one of the more secluded rooms in the back.
âgo for room number six.â he says, stepping to the side so you can pass him.
thanking him, you head into the back, the heels of your ankle boots clicking against the floor.
the rooms have their matching numbers on neon signs above them. your eyes curiously take in everything they see, but all rooms grant the people in them privacy with the use of frosted glass.
once youâve made it to the room with the number six on the sign, you take a breath while your hand rests on the handle.
you enter the room soundlessly. the broad space is dimly lit with its soft lights, a mixture of yellow, pink and red almost convincing you that this place is a mere fever dream.
mingyu is seated on the velvet red couch, his legs spread with a girl in skimpy lingerie dancing between them.
yet his eyes are on you.
with his head tilted down, he looks up at you from beneath his lowered brows, peering right past the bare hips of the girl as if sheâs not dancing in front of him at all.
you catch a hint of intrigue in his features. he reaches inside his pocket to hand a small stack of money to the dancer in the exact same way you did with the bouncer only a minute before, and the girl leaves you to your privacy.
âhello to you, too.â he says, not bothering to move a single muscle as he remains on the soft couch.
ânext time, answer your damn phone.â you scold him, staring him down with the coldest glare you can muster, and mingyuâs not sure why, but he relishes in it. it doesnât happen often that someone treats him like this.
âi was occupied.â he casually answers, his hand running through his dark locks.
âwell, not anymore.â you grin, handing him your phone to show the photo of the bank transcripts. âapparently, my dead father just took fifty grand out of his account.â
mingyu furrows his brows at the screen. âwhere?â
âall the way at the other side of the city. question is, who else has access to his account, aside from me?â
âwe should go and check the footage.â he says, shrugging his shoulders, and he finally gets up, towering over you again. âi know someone whoâs with the municipal authorities, iâll make the call.â
âright now?â you ask, referring to how deep into the night it is, at which he raises his brow.
âyes, right now. this is the best clue weâve come across so far. donât you agree?â
âi do. i just thought you cared more about, yâknow, being occupied.â you emphasise the last words with a waving hand, gesturing to the girl that was previously dancing on him, and his flirtatious nature comes right back to him as if it never left.
âwhy? wanna give me a show before we leave?â he smirks, getting closer, hoping to get some kind of reaction out of you, to see whatâs lurking underneath your closed-off persona.
fine. both of you can play this game, you think to yourself. âwhat, are the girls here not enough to get you off?â
âis that a yes?â
âwhy would you want a lap dance from a girl you canât stand? i may not like you, mingyu, but i didnât think youâd stoop so low to go after any woman with a pulse.â
âi feel flattered,â he smiles, eyes trailing down to your exposed collarbones, finding it ridiculously hot in here, âand i donât particularly like you, either, but we both know youâre gorgeous. besides, iâve seen you dance at chanâs club. you looked good.â
his honesty almost stuns you in your place. you didnât think he held that kind of physical attraction towards you, yet it makes you feel good â because you think heâs fucking hot, too.
such a shame that heâs an asshole.
but still, thereâs no time to dwell on his words. you have a reputation to uphold and a murder to solve, after all.
so you lean in, whispering your decision. âin your dreams.â
jesus, mingyu thinks, do you even remotely know how much sex appeal you have? it makes him beyond impulsive. âdid you know studies have shown that sleeping with someone you canât stand is arguably the best thing ever?â
you sarcastically reply to him with the exact same tone. âdid you know youâd be so much more bearable if you just kept your mouth shut?â
âwhat? itâs part of my charm.â is all he says in return, snickering a little over your response, and you merely roll your eyes.
âweâve got a different idea of charm, then.â
âokay, fair enough.â he shrugs, still maintaining the minimal distance between your bodies. âso what do you find charming? iâm dying to know, really.â
âi like men who donât feel the need to pay for a womanâs touch.â the reply comes fast and sharp as a blade. âi hope you pay them generously, since they have to put up with you out of all people.â
âshe didnât touch me, though. itâs a strip club, not a brothel.â
âhow noble of you.â you humorlessly chuckle at him, attitude turning more playful.
âmhm.â mingyu nods his head, the rest of his words sounding lower and suave. âtell me more. câmon, iâm curious. i gotta know my partnerâs preferences, right?â
the look you give your current partner is something. you decide to indulge him this once, face inching closer to his, just to keep things interesting. âi want someone who wonât hold me back. someone who will accept me for who i am â uninhibited.â
thereâs something you canât quite place flashing behind his eyes. itâs close to intrigue, but more intense, and you donât think youâve ever seen it in anyone elseâs eyes before.
âgood to know.â he breathes out, as if your words stole his breath, and you come to the realization that maybe, thereâs more to kim mingyu than you thought.
now that he seems to be pretty much speechless, you raise your shoulders. âso, are we heading out or should i tell the dancer to come back in?â
he stutters out a reply, and you find it funny how his attitude is constantly going back and forth between a flustered mess and the most confident guy in the room.
once youâve returned to the backdoor where you got in, you see wonwoo is still outside, his cigarette put out on the ashtray beside him.
âyou leaving?â wonwoo asks, waiting for either of you to answer.
âyeah. duty calls.â mingyu replies while putting his jacket on.
for what itâs worth, wonwoo is actually a dear friend of yours, and one of the few people you show physical affection to, so you give him a kiss on the cheek before walking off. âcatch you later, okay?â
he nods, catching mingyu curiously watching the exchange, and when you walk off with him, wonwoo notices him put his hand on your lower back, which you proceed to swat away.
a mere twenty minutes later, you and mingyu are seated in your car in an empty parking lot, looking at a screen displaying street security footage of the bank where the withdrawal was made earlier tonight.
mingyuâs friend seungkwan, who works for the authorities, sent you the footage, and as youâre looking it over, heâs on the phone explaining his observations. âhe was wearing a mask and a cap, so we couldnât recognize him. the car he drove has a license plate that doesnât match, so likely stolen. he drove from a nearby parking garage to the bank, withdrew the cash, got back in the car and then parked it right here, about six blocks further, in the business district.â
the building the car is parked across is one youâd recognize any time of day. itâs where your fatherâs main office is â or was â one of the places he never allowed you to get into, or anyone for that matter. it was the only place where he got the peace and quiet he wanted.
you turn your head to glance at mingyu, giving him a knowing look. âthatâs where my fatherâs main office is.â
âyou think the guyâs gonna try to break in?â
âif he got his hands on the passcodes and proceeds to wait before the building he always worked in, then yeah, i do.â
you nod in agreement, because he makes a fair point. mingyu looks at the worried expression on your face and decides youâve gathered enough information now.
he thanks seungkwan and tells him bye before hanging up, then turning his focus to you. âwhoever that guy is, if heâs planning on breaking in, we gotta beat him to it.â
âyou wanna break into an office on the seventh floor located in a building that neither of us are allowed into? they wonât even let us pass the front desk. i know because iâve tried.â
he shakes his head. âtrust me â weâll find a way in. iâve got an idea, but itâs not gonna be easy.â
vi. WEâRE NOT SO DIFFERENT, YOU AND I
the following days are spent analyzing and memorizing blueprints, tracking the people entering and exiting the building and checking security in the hope of finding some kind of loophole in the system.
trying to get in through the front door is too risky, so youâve opted for the roof instead, because thereâs several buildings so closeby that you can get into either of the buildings next to it and reach it from there. youâll get in with a classic heist movie tactic you pray works in real life as well.
ventilation shafts.
so now, youâre both in dark and practical clothing to attempt breaking in. because your plan is mediocre at best.
as you watch from the rooftop of a currently unoccupied office building nearby with a binocular, you face-palm yourself the moment you notice the security set-up is different than anticipated with the blueprints, meaning the ventilation shafts are most likely not accessible. âwell, fuck.â
âwhatâs wrong?â
you hand the binocular to mingyu, and he mimics your previous actions, huffing in annoyance when he sees it too. âshit. what do we do now?â
ânothing.â
âwhat?â
âour plan was already risky enough, but now that we pretty much donât even have a way in, weâd be stupid to try. we only have a fifteen-minute window before a security guard comes up the roof again.â
âthatâs plenty.â
âit would be, for like â a swat team. weâre amateurs. at this, anyway.â
âspeak for yourself.â
âoh, iâm sorry, have you done anything remotely on this scale before?â
âwell⌠no.â
pinching the bridge of your nose, you roll your eyes to yourself. âwe shouldâve brought wonwoo.â
mingyu is quick to respond with a sarcastic comment. âand tell him what, exactly? âhey, we need your help breaking into one of the best-guarded buildings in the city so we can snoop around and try to find a clue leading to a killerâ?â
âwell, i donât know if youâve noticed, gyu, but we quite literally have no other options.â
âwe could always try the front door. youâre still his daughter, they might let you in.â
âi really hope that wasnât an actual suggestion, because if it was, it would highly diminish the idea i have of your intelligence.â
âis this your way of telling me you think iâm smart?â
âwell, currently, i think youâre being an idiot, so no.â you retort, stealing the binocular out of his hand again. âgod, iâm starting to respect criminals. this shit is difficult to navigate around.â
mingyu chuckles as he adjusts the black baseball cap on his head. âthere has to be another way. maybe we couldââ
ââget in through an open window.â you interrupt, handing the device over to him. âyou see the glass window in the roof of his office? it looks like itâs ajar.â
once he sees it too, he tilts his head. âitâs almost too easy. itâd have to open manually, otherwise weâre screwed.â
you can only shrug. âitâs only a modern interior on the inside, the building itself is older, so the odds might be on our side. besides, itâs worth a shot, right?â
âcanât argue with that.â he agrees, checking the other buildings around to figure out the best approach.
you watch him as heâs distracted. heâs fully going for the whole partners-in-crime thing youâve got going on with him, yet a part of you is still unsure what his motives might be.
but for now, youâll just focus on the task at hand.
every fifteen minutes, a security guard comes up to the roof, checks everything, stays for a minute or two and leaves again. youâve been keeping track of it. as soon as the one currently on duty closes the door to the staircase behind him, heading back down, you both start a silent timer on your watches, getting to work.
one thing you discover doing said task is that jumping from roof to roof is really not as easy as they make it seem in the movies. if anything, itâs pretty scary, even if they are relatively close to eachother.
the jump from the last building to the one you need to be on top of has the biggest gap, and mingyu takes a solid leap, landing ever so gracefully.
you shuffle your feet for a moment, making the mistake of looking down. mingyu notices your hesitation and tries to encourage you the best he can. âit looks scary, but itâs a relatively easy jump. i swear. thatâs gotta mean something coming from a person with a fear of heights.â
clenching your fists, you try to steady your breathing. âdonât you lie to me, kim.â
thereâs something strangely charming about you using his last name whenever youâre scolding him. âcâmon. iâve always thought you were fearless. youâre not gonna diminish the idea i have of you, right?â
curse him for using your words against you like that.
clenching your fists, you bite your lip, the worst case scenario going through your head over and over.
âjust go back a couple steps. steady your breathing, and then you run. okay?â
you donât respond to his words but do as he says anyways. the jump isnât even that far, youâre just afraid of tripping.
but you wonât go out embarrassing yourself in front of kim mingyu. your pride is too strong for that.
so you take a deep breath and make a run for it, jumping over the gap and landing on top of the other roof, far away from the edge. mingyu laughs triumphantly. âgood job.â
âthanks.â you smile as he helps you up to your feet, and you dust off your jacket, proud of yourself for going through with it.
the two of you walk over to the glass window, and you kneel down, inspecting the lock. thank fuck â itâs so simple that all you have to do is click it open. youâre guessing they probably thought the security walking around was enough.
with your hands covered in gloves, you wiggle them through the gap and crack it open, after which mingyu takes the lead. he lets himself drop into the office silently, looking up at you as a gesture for you to follow him.
you attempt to do the same as him, but you figure he must have strong arm muscles, because youâre barely able to hold yourself up the way he can. he notices your struggle and moves to stand underneath you.
âjust let go. iâll catch you.â
âare you sure?â
he nods, his arms up as if heâs waiting for you to jump right into them. âyeah, yeah. i got you.â
not entirely convinced, you try to drop onto the floor in a way you can still hold yourself up, but mingyu proves himself true to his word when he catches you as easily as drawing his next breath. he looks you in the eye while he has you in his arms, his senses feeling heightened as your clothed skin touches with his.
then you tap on his shoulder, and he lets go of you.
the office is bigger than anticipated. the moonlight from outside is bright enough for you to not need a flashlight, so thatâs beneficial.
mingyu is awfully quick on his feet for someone as tall and bulky as him. heâs quiet in every step he takes, which is useful in a situation like this.
while he begins to look through a bunch of drawers, you open cabinet after cabinet, going through some documents that donât really contain anything interesting.
you turn to look at the desk and the painting on the wall behind it. itâs nothing spectacular â your father never had much of an appreciation for art, so you find it strange heâd even have it up here.
out of sheer curiosity, you try to check if thereâs a secret stash behind the painting like in those crime movies.
you have to refrain from laughing when your eyes fall onto the safe in the wall. âhey. gyu.â
he turns around, his entire demeanor changing when he sees what youâve found. âyouâre kidding.â
the safe has a surprisingly easy system. it has four dials, so you need a code with four numbers to get access to whateverâs inside. you change the dials to your birth year for fun, but naturally, it doesnât work. hell, mingyuâs birth year might have a better shot.
while you try out every combination you can think of, mingyu gets the little notebook out of his pocket â the one that was part of your fatherâs inheritance. he flips to one of the last pages. âtry 9-3-6-8.â
going with his suggestion, you rotate the dials until they have the right numbers, and you hear a click. blinking a few times, you turn the small crank wheel beside the dials and open the safe.
thereâs not much inside in terms of quantity, but the things that are in there are no joke.
two gold ingots, a stack of files and a loaded handgun with a silencer attached to it.
âwhat the fuck was he up to?â mingyu asks rhetorically, inspecting the pistol with care, and you shrug, grabbing the files to put them into the bag you took with you.
âi donât know, but we should hurry up. we can look at whatever all this is later. clockâs ticking.â
he figures you make a good point, so you hold out your bag, and he puts all of the safeâs contents into it.
youâre both scared to death when you suddenly hear voices coming from the other side of the door. you immediately zip up your bag and close the safe back up, putting the painting right back in front of it.
footsteps come approaching your direction, and you realize you donât have enough time to get back out of the office without being caught red-handed, so youâll have to find a place to hide.
just as youâre about to go sit underneath the desk, mingyu doesnât hesitate to grab you by your hand and pull you against his body, both of you hiding in the small gap between the bookcase and the wall, which is right next to the door.
you almost jump in your place when the door is opened by a security guard, and mingyu puts his hand over your mouth to make sure the guard doesnât hear you.
thankfully, youâre hidden right behind the door now that itâs opened, but your heart is fucking pounding as your chest is pressed against mingyuâs, and all you can focus on is him.
heâs suffocatingly close to you.
the situation forces you to look at him so closely â like never before. your attention trails down from his dark eyes to the litte mole on the bottom of his nose, the shape of his lips, and the glimpse you catch of the silver chain adorning his collarbones.
itâs the first time you see how big of a man he is. heâs been working out a lot in the past few years, with considerable results â standing this close to him highlights the contrast between his frame and yours.
the footsteps leave the office not long after, and the door closes. youâre finally able to breathe properly when he releases his palm from your mouth, and you inhale and exhale deeply.
âyou alright?â
âyeah. that was just â scary.â you respond, cracking a little smile.
he nods, neither of you really moving in your places yet. âyou can let go of me, yâknow.â mingyu whispers, sounding entirely unconvincing, and you frown before looking to your hand thatâs apparently been clutching his jacket this whole time.
âoh, yeah. sorry.â
âitâs okay.â he assures you, pointing to the ceiling. âwe should probably head back.â
you agree and sling the bag over your shoulders, on your back. he gets onto the desk first so he can climb out the same window you used to get in, and once heâs gotten up the roof again, he extends his hand to you so he can pull you up.
it doesnât go smoothly. heâs a little clumsy, but he manages, so you take a breather once youâve made it out of the office with him. you close the window in the exact position it was before you opened it, and you make it to the safety of the rooftop where you started just twenty minutes ago.
as you quickly go down the stairs of the abandoned building to reach the ground floor, he laughs triumphantly. âholy fucking shit. i canât believe we actually pulled that off.â
you smile at him with adrenaline still rushing through you, heart still pounding in your chest when you realize what you just did.
and honestly, you donât think youâve ever felt that⌠alive.
a mere fifteen minutes later, youâre seated in a half-empty diner with him. heâs across from you in the booth, elbows on the table as he fiddles with his fingers.
while he looks around the place, you take the files you found in the safe out of your bag so you can look them over.
as your eyes fall onto the first page, you frown.
mingyu notices your gaze. âwhatâs wrong?â
you switch to the other file folders before scoffing to yourself, realization hitting you. âyou gotta be fucking kidding me. theyâre tabs he kept on the people around him. the staff at home, his driver... even me. and you. well, looks like he didnât trust you completely.â
before he can even reply to the subtle dig, you slide the folder with his name on it across the table, and he opens it up, noticing a huge chunk of information on him neatly stashed away in separate documents. thereâs even candids there that mustâve been made by a private investigator.
âi knew he was paranoid, but this takes the cake.â you mutter, and you throw the folders back into your bag, and mingyu hands you his so you can take it as well.
âwell, this sucks.â he sighs. âthose files arenât of much use, so now weâre back to square one.â
you tilt your head. âthatâs not entirely true. we might be able to check where the gun came from, or whose name itâs registered under.â
mingyu hums, lifting the cup to his mouth, whispering a compliment, not really expecting for you to hear it. âsmart girl.â
with your bag zipped up and everything off the table again, itâs quiet between you and mingyu for a moment.
âgod, iâm starving.â he says as you wait for your food to arrive, and where heâs slightly fidgeting in his place, you sit completely still, looking at him with a frown. once he catches your gaze, he raises a brow at you. âwhat?â
âdo you do this often?â
âeating in a cheap diner?â
âtrespassing. breaking in. illegal activities. whatever you wanna call it.â
he shrugs. âoccasionally. keeps life interesting, yâknow?â
the casualness in his attitude makes you scoff. âsure.â
âyou donât agree?â
âi didnât say that.â
âno, but then again, you donât really say much at all.â he says bluntly. he doesnât mean it as an offensive statement in the slightest, but it wouldâve probably sounded better if worded differently.
for a moment, he thinks his impulsivity mustâve upset you, seeing as you remain silent for a moment.
then you laugh at him. the sound is completely new to him, yet strangely soothing to his ears.
âyouâre bold, iâll give you that.â you snicker before taking a sip of your coke. âbut i assume you donât have an issue with people who are on the quieter side, since youâre besties with wonwoo and all.â
mingyu mimics your facial expressions. âyeah, i prefer being around quieter people more. but i didnâtâit came out wrong. i meant, you donât really, like... show who you are. if that makes sense. even back when we were in high school, you were like a mystery. you still are, to me.â
âis this what this whole partnering-up thing is about? you wanting to unravel the mystery about me? because if it is, iâll give you credit for the creativity.â
mingyu tilts his head. âwell, itâs a little more nuanced than that.â
âif you wanted to get to know me, why didnât you try years ago?â
âhave you met you?â
you roll your eyes. he smirks at you, enjoying your company quite a lot, anticipating whatever it is youâll say in response.
âyou wanna know something, mingyu?â
âyeah.â
âyouâre telling me iâm the mysterious one, but iâd say thatâs you.â
his playfulness falters a bit, and he shows his confusion instead. âme?â
âmhm. youâre popular, good-looking, charming, all of that â and i think youâve got layers to yourself that no one even knows about. characteristics no one would ever dare imagine when they think of you.â
his breath hitches in his throat. âwhy do you think that?â
twisting your lips into a pout, you put your drink back down on the table. âwouldnât be any fun if i outright told you, would it?â
mingyu narrows his eyes at you. you just shrug, as if to tell him heâll figure it out, if heâs smart enough.
and he welcomes the challenge.
âokay.â he smiles, biting his lip when he leans back in his seat. âbut, hypothetically â what if youâre wrong about me? what if i donât have those layers youâre talking about?â
you eye him up and down, remaining quiet with your arms crossed over your chest. youâve always had that attitude. like you know more than everyone else, as if youâre the smartest person in the room. usually, you are. and yet youâre never smug about it, unless someone challenges you to be â youâre always calm, cool, collected. stoic. the fact that wonwoo of all people called you an ice princess years ago says enough.
âiâd be sorely disappointed.â
âso you have high expectations of me?â
âin a way, perhaps. though youâll have to work a little harder to impress me.â
âtonight wasnât enough?â
âit was a start. we still loathe eachother, remember?â
âright. iâll keep that in mind for next time.â
sure, you and kim mingyu hate one another, but he still makes you smile the most anyone has in ages, and you make him feel more alive than anyone else has.
vii. FRIENDS CLOSE, ENEMIES CLOSER
âiâve got bad news.â you say, tapping your nails on the coffee table in your living room as you have mingyu on speaker.
âokay. do tell.â
âthe gun isnât registered, so we pretty much only have the files as evidence.â
âyeah. i doubt your father put those files together himself, since they seem like the work of a professional. we might be smart to seek out the private investigator who gave him the intel.â
you know he hears you sigh at the other end of the line, and your response hardly sound convincing. âyeah, i guess.â
âwhatâs wrong?â
itâs quiet for a moment. you speak up with a tension rumbling in your chest. âmaybe we should just quit, gyu. i donât feel like what weâre doing is actually going anywhere. we still donât have a proper lead.â
then itâs his turn to remain silent, and you swear you can hear his breath shudder. âweâll get there. it just... takes some time.â
âyou sound a little too sure of that.â
âi just think itâd be a waste to not continue after the stunt we pulled last week.â
âwhatâre we gonna be doing next? breaking into the national bank?â
âsomething tells me youâd find that exciting.â
well, shit. have you become so transparent that kim mingyu of all people can tell the truth about you?
âmaybe i would.â you grumble like a child admitting defeat.
the sound of his laughter echoes through the phone. it subconsciously brings a small smile to your face.
âlook, i have a meeting âtil five. i can come by after to brainstorm about things, pick up some food on the way. are you free tonight?â
âyeah. text me when youâre on the way here.â
âyes, maâam.â he jests, saying heâs got to go before hanging up. it leaves you to stare at your phone for a minute. a past version of yourself would never believe it if you said mingyu would ever get close to you in the way he has over the past two months. itâs been a strange time. itâs come to the point youâre pretty sure you donât even hate him as much as you used to.
maybe you donât even hate him at all anymore. maybe.
but something about admitting that to yourself feels scary, so you put your thoughts elsewhere while secretly looking forward to having him come over again.
itâs a quarter past five when he sends you a message, letting you know heâs picked up the food and on the way to your house, and a mere twenty minutes later, you and him are seated in the lounge on the first floor as he tells you about his day â all while shoving a dumpling into his mouth.
what interrupts you, however, is the noise of your doorbell. mingyu frowns instantly, and you mimic his expression, because you werenât expecting any more company. âwhoâs that?â
âno idea.â you shrug, so you get up from your seat, jogging down the stairs with mingyu following you, simultaneously chewing the food in his mouth.
checking the screen beside the door thatâs connected to the doorbell, you notice a familiar face standing outside.
âisnât he the main detective on the investigation?â mingyu asks rhetorically, his body language changing to something more stiff. âwhat is he doing here?â
âgood question. i certainly didnât invite him, but the guy at the front gate probably told him i was home. fuck â you have to hide.â
âhide? why?â
because the detective thinks you still hate mingyu, so seeing him here would make your story hardly plausible. âbecause he canât see you, obviously. get upstairs and stay there. iâll distract him.âÂ
âare you sure?â
âyeah, so go!â you push him back with your hands on his chest, and he seems hesitant to leave you by yourself, but he eventually jogs up the stairs again to get out of sight.
the inspector smiles only as a formality. you do the same. you havenât spoken to him since you indirectly accused him of being an asshole, a while before your fatherâs funeral.
âgood evening. i hope i havenât come at a bad time. may i come in?â
âi have to take a business call soon, actually, so another time would beââ
âi wonât be long. i assume youâd like to have an update on the investigation?â
well, fuck. heâs got you there, so youâre forced to let him in, but you donât let him wonder and gesture for him to sit down in the living room, on the couch. you move to take the seat directly across from him to ensure his focus is on you, instead of on the huge staircase behind him.
âam i still at the top of your list?â you ask. when the man tries to find the right words to respond, you scoff, filling in the blanks. of course you still are. âbut you have no evidence.âÂ
âitâs not about evidence â moreso the lack thereof. iâm stuck with two people who each have a solid motive, an alibi thatâs far from foolproof, and an important tie to the victim. you cannot deny that.âÂ
âis this another interrogation? because this is all off-record.â
ânot an interrogation. i was just wondering something â back when i spoke to you last, before your fatherâs funeral, i asked what you could tell me about kim mingyu, your fatherâs former associate.â hearing him say his name makes you anxious, yet you pull every possible muscle to hide it. âyou spoke of him as if he were the devil himself. you clearly hated him, perhaps more than you hated your father.â
âand?â
he pulls something from the inside of his jacket, and you discover theyâre a few candids, photos taken of you with mingyu while out in the city. well, thatâs just fucking great. youâre gonna have to make use of your top-notch acting skills here.
âiâm sure you wouldnât mind me asking why youâre suddenly seeing someone you claim to hate as much as you do.â
the blankness of your face dissolves as you adapt a more playful and sassy persona. âyou came all the way to my home for this? a few photos?â
âa few photos of my two main suspects together for a reason i cannot think of, yes.â
âyou canât think of a single thing? really? no offense, but i was under the impression you were at least a little clever.â
the man stares at you as if heâs trying to solve a puzzle. that can only mean one thing â heâs falling for your act.
what an idiot.
you lean forward in your place, the dry smile remaining on your face. âi fucked him. several times, actually.â
he narrows his eyes at your statement. âi thought you told me you hated him.â
âoh, i do. but a good hate-fuck is the best way to release some frustration. you should try it sometime.â the sound of your voice is monotonous as you utter the words in one go.
âiâll keep it in mind.â he sarcastically responds with a fake smile, and you copy his body language, pleased to see youâve made him somewhat uncomfortable.
he clearly wants to change the subject, but you donât feel like continuing this conversation any longer. âif youâll excuse me, i really have more pressing matters, so i trust you can see yourself out.â
the inspector huffs a bit, but he knows better than to overstay his welcome. he wordlessly allows you to let you walk him to the door before turning around. âi hope you know who youâre dealing with. not everyone is who they say they are.â
leaving you confused, he looks at you a moment, proceeding to walk out your front door, after which you close it. did he know more than he was willing to let on? what a strange visit.
when you finally decide to turn around, you see mingyu standing in the middle of the stairs, looking a little baffled, at which you roll your eyes.
âwhy would you tell him that?â
âwould you have preferred it if i told him the truth?â
âwould that be so bad?â
you scoff, passing him on the staircase. âsee, this is what i mean when i say youâre not as smart as you think you are.â
mingyu follows you back up to the lounge. âiâm just saying â maybe itâd make us look less suspicious.â
âitâd do the opposite, gyu. trust me.â
âokay. fine. but out of all the things you couldâve said, why that?â
âwell, it made him uncomfortable, making it easier to get him to leave early. and, well⌠you know what you look like.â
the last sentence really grabs his attention.
âwhat i look like?â he repeats, knowing damn well what youâre getting at, but heâs eager to hear you spell it out for him.
âwell, youâre somewhat good-looking. itâs one of your few strong points, actually.â
âso you think iâm hot?â
âdidnât quite say that.â
âno, but you implied it.â
ânot really. you may be conventionally handsome, gyu, but attraction is a whole different thing.â
âoh, câmon. admit it. iâm willing to, soâŚâ
âdo i need to remind you i said weâd keep things professional? which you agreed to.â
âgod, youâre so tough.â
âpart of my charm. maybe thatâs why you like me so much.â
âi never said i liked you.â
âno, you didnât have to.â you scoff, laughing at him, and mingyu feels the corners of his lips curling up â because youâre right.
then, as you plop down on the seats in the lounge again, you sigh as you look at the papers scattered across the table.
âyou know, itâs been weeks, and we still havenât got the slightest clue whoâs the killer,â you frown, fingers resting on your collarbone, âand if iâm being honest, i doubt we ever will.â
mingyu briefly narrows his eyes at you, proceeding to take his laptop out of his bag. you watch curiously when he silently types away at his keyboard, then turning the device around and clicking on the play button.
suddenly you hear your own voice, and the words â you said those during the interrogations. how the hell did he get his hands on those recordings?
he seems to be able to read your mind. âiâve got a contact in the force. he sent me the sorted files of everyone who was interrogated. we should probably listen to them, right? after all, we know more about the situation than the detectives.â
blinking a few times, you shrug and nod in agreement, so he increases the volume and presses the button again.
the following two and a half hours are spent listening to the recordings and taking notes of important things. youâre only halfway through them, but doing this the whole time really sucks you dry of energy.
at a certain point, you press the pause button and get up from your seat, moving to the liquor cabinet a few meters away. âyou like a good whiskey, right?â
âyeah. howâd you know?â
âi observe and listen. that, and i heard you say it to wonwoo one time.â
he chuckles at your words, watching you take the bottle with two glasses and set it down on the table.
once youâve poured the liquid into the glass, he takes what you offer him and down it in one go, after which you give him a judgemental stare. âseriously?â
âsorry. had a rough day.â
your gaze softens, and you pour him a second glass as he holds it out. âwhy?â
âi just⌠havenât been feeling great lately. not really sure why.â
well, thatâs interesting. âyour conscience eating away at you?â
his eyes widen an uncharacteristical amount, and your face is blank for a few moments until you crack a smile. he laughs it off, squeezing his hands together, which you take notice of.
âguess you could say that. no, i donât know. my sisterâs been stressed and she wonât tell me why, which is odd âcause she always comes to me â and my motherâs been overworking herself, and iâm worried for her.â
pursing your lips together, you cast your eyes down for a moment.
for some reason, you feel a sense of repulsiveness whenever mingyu speaks of his family like that. as if itâs a reminder of what you didnât have.
but you donât show it.
âsounds tough.â you reply, not intending to sound distant â you just find it difficult to know what to say.
what you fail to recognize is that mingyu sees it. he sees your struggle and the emotions you think are so deeply hidden underneath the surface. they actually are, to be honest, but heâs come to know you and with that the way you hold yourself. and heâs suddenly able to read you better.
youâre made of sharp edges only â broken glass on all sides.
he takes another sip of his drink. you down yours in one go.
âcan i ask you something?â
âsure.â
mingyuâs eyes curiously follow your every move, the alcohol in his system making him bolder. âhow are you holding up?â
âme? âm fine. why do you ask?â
âi think mostly âcause iâve asked you a lot of questions, but not that one.â
the words make you silent for a moment, and you let out a knowing sigh when you realize what heâs getting at. âi told you i was glad he died, gyu.â
âi know. but even if you are, you can still find it difficult to deal with.â
you inhale and exhale slowly, leaning back against the wall for a moment, staring into nothing. âiâm not sad that heâs gone. i never will be. but thereâs things i wanted to ask him.â
when you donât continue, he asks you to. âwhat things?â
âthings about my youth, my mother⌠hell, maybe even about you.â you shrug, chuckling for a brief moment, but the sound is gone as soon as it came. âbut i think, mostly, iâd ask if he saw himself in me.â
mingyu is intrigued by your answer. âwhy would you wanna know that?â
you shrug, your tiredness contributing to you opening up. âbecause maybe iâd hear the answer i want to hear, and not the one i currently have. my worst nightmare has always been to turn into him.â
âyou wonât be like him.â he tries to tell you, but you shake your head.
âi already am. i hated him to the bone, and yet i act like him, sound like him, handle things like him â because he taught me everything i know. at the end of the day, i am my fatherâs daughter. thereâs no changing that.â
âyouâre not a bad person. he was.â
âhow would you know? he was nice to you. stand-offish, probably, but nice.â
âyou donât think i had an idea of what kind of person he was? i cared for him, but i knew he could be harsh. i caught some bits and pieces when he⌠yelled at you after our high school graduation.â
you have an almost visceral reaction as he mentions the incident. your father had yelled at you after the graduation, because the best student of your class got a prize on the big podium, and it wasnât you. and that as a result made your father angry, because being in the top five wasnât enough â because it shouldâve been you.
it was always supposed to be you.
âwhy did you even want to be around him at all? if you knew how much of an asshole he was all this time.â
mingyu stares at the wall for a few seconds when he thinks about it. âhe came into my life when i needed it the most. but looking back, i feel guilty. i shouldnât have cared for someone like that.â
âlike what?â
âsomeone that cruel. he didnât deserve to be loved or cared for, not in any way.â
âcan only good people be loved?â you ask in return, and he seems positively surprised at your question.
âyouâd find love for a bad person?â
âmingyu.â you say his name in a brief chuckle, and it steals his breath away. âdo you think you have that much of a choice over who we love? we donât. thatâs what makes it so complicated.â
he seems to grow increasingly stressed with each thing you say, much to your surprise. âbut would you want to love someone like that?â
looking away from him for a moment, you think his words over. âif that person was good to me, and had the same values⌠yeah, i would. trust me, the few people i care about are no saints, and yet iâd go to hell and back for them.â
âam i on that list too?â
you meet his eyes, and his expression is so beautifully genuine, full of raw emotion youâve never seen him show before. itâs then that it finally hits you â kim mingyu actually cares about you.
the worst thing is that you just might care about him, too.
so you gently smile at him with a light shrug of your shoulders. âmaybe.â
he reciprocates it, his brown eyes blown wide as he gazes at you. âiâm glad. youâre on my list too, yâknow.â
âam i?â you tease, and he nods cheerfully, happy to have verbalized his appreciation for you. âwell, i didnât really see it coming, thatâs for sure.â
your words bring mingyuâs thoughts back to the death of your father, the rift you accused him of causing between the two of you. a wave of guilt comes flooding in once more.
âlook, i⌠i know you may not believe me, but i genuinely feel sorry for what happened. for taking something from you. despite the things i saw and heard, i really was too stupid to see that your dad treated you as badly as he did.â
staring him right in the eye, you donât fail to catch the earnestness in them. âitâs alright. youâre not half as much to blame as iâve tried to make myself believe you were.â
the words intrigue him. âhow come?â
swallowing the lump in your throat, you press your lips together. âbecause he didnât care about me. he never did. maybe he was different before my mother died, maybe he wasnât. i wouldnât know.â
mingyu tries to hold his ground as he watches you get emotional. he remains quiet in his spot next to you.
âcan i tell you something?â your voice is hesitant and almost inaudible, like a child whoâs trying to tell their parent they did something wrong.
when he silently nods, you continue.
âyou wanted to know why i hated you, right? well, i...â you pause in an attempt to find the right words, âi felt invisible to my father. like i didnât matter â i was treated like nothing more than a tool to improve his businesses. but you... he treated you like a son. like a person. and i spent years trying to figure out what i did wrong and you did right, and i just... i didnât get it. i still donât. but whatever it was, i was jealous that you had it and i didnât. and everyone loved you and praised you, be it our friends or their parents. everyone in our social circle. from my point of view, no one had ever uttered a single bad word about you, and then when my father began to take a liking towards you as well... i just hated you. you were my perfect scapegoat.â
the guilt on his face is clear as day. when he parts his lips, you already know he wants to apologize again, but you shake your head, speaking up first.
because you donât hate him anymore.
âmingyu, there was nothing for you to take away from me to begin with. long before you were even present in his life, he didnât care for me either.â with the corners of your lips turned down, you continue. âi did everything he asked. perfect grades, perfect manners, perfect social life. but he didnât care. itâs not often i say people have no heart, but he just⌠he just didnât have one. for his job, perhaps, for his business partners â but not for anyone outside of his work. i just didnât think that would go for his own child, too.â
you reach for your forehead, trying to take his attention away from your face, running your hand through your hair while blinking your tears away. why are you telling him all this?
but it just feels so good to finally get it all out.
âyou did the best you could.â he tells you, and you nod with watery eyes.
âi did. and somehow, none of it mattered.â
when the first heavy sob leaves you, you try to hold it back, not wanting him to see you break down.
he doesnât let you. he moves to sit next to you and takes you into his arms, and for the first time in however long, you let yourself break. the tears are your acknowledgement of the pain it has caused you over the years, the damage that will never quite heal and always follow you wherever you go.
youâre not sure why youâre falling apart this easily. you hardly ever cry anymore, perhaps a few times a year, and you usually feel strong enough to hold it all back when youâre in front of others, but this time â this time, you just canât.
âitâs alright, sweetheart. itâs okay. youâre alright. heâs gone now.â he whispers into your ear as comfort. âbut youâre not alone. not anymore.â
his heart shatters when he internally makes the comparison between the loving family he grew up in and the lonely, broken family you could hardly call home.
âwhy wasnât i enough? why didnât he like me?â you mutter to yourself, having lost control as you cry into mingyuâs neck, clinging onto his body as your chest aches.
âbecause he couldnât. he didnât have it in him to care for anyone. that says more about him than it does about you.â he responds, gently stroking your hair, even pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
and for the first time in a long time, you feel⌠cared for. like you truly matter to someone.
something that feels scary, perhaps even strange, but good.
mingyuâs big arms cage you into his hold, a comforting feeling. to be honest, you wish you could stay with him like this for the whole night. maybe even longer than that.
he rubs your back, feeling the pain in your chest as if it were his own. heâd take all of it if he could. you were damaged in a way that no one deserves, and seeing how much it still affects you and most likely will in the long term, that tears him apart.
the heavy ache in your chest subsides, yet you still cling onto him. you feel the most at ease youâve ever been with anyone.
âthank you.â you mumble, giving him a tight hug with you wrapping your arms around him âtill heâs almost suffocating. âi needed that.â
âanytime.â
you eventually finally come down from your breakdown, body slightly twitching as the last tears silently roll down your cheeks.
with your head in his lap, you lay on your side, closing your eyes for a while as the pain in your chest slowly subsides. heâs still rubbing at your clothed skin, and youâre curious if heâs aware it does wonders for calming you down.
âiâm sorry for yelling at you, gyu. after the funeral.â you speak up, voice still raspy. âi was wrong about you.â
mingyu feels his throat tighten up. âitâs okay. i was wrong about you, too. we have more in common than i initially thought we did.â
you wipe your tears away and move to sit upright, finally feeling confident enough to look him in the eye again. âlike what?â
both of you are tired. everything thatâs happened the past weeks has definitely been causing some sleepless nights for both of you, and with all the alcohol and emotions running high, youâre both feeling a tad drowsy.
he runs a hand through his dark locks. âthis part of society â i think itâs exhausting, a lot of the time. full of noise, small talk thatâs supposed to hide how cold half these people are, social pressure, all of that. but here, at home, itâs quiet. maybe a little too quiet. the thing is, i have my friends and family that i care about more than anyone else, but i still feel⌠hollow. like iâm missing something.â
you nod at him. âyou can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.â
âyeah.â he sighs. âdo you feel it too?â
âwell, i may not have a family, but i have my friends. and they mean so much to me, and i can talk to them if i need to, but⌠yeah. i feel it too.â
he wonders if you feel the same connection that heâs feeling right now. heâs drawn to you like a damn magnet.
mingyu already knows heâs a goner when he gently puts his hand on your cheek. he feels electrified by your presence, your voice, even the way you look at him.
he needs you.
âmaybe we can be lonely together.â
his words are enough for your breath to hitch in your throat. you doubt youâve ever wanted to have someone as much as you do now.
and so you cross a line you never thought you would and press your lips to his, desperately needing his touch.
the kiss is harsh but slow, as if youâre aching to taste eachother. his hand makes its way to the back of your head, the other on your back to pull you closer to him.
his heart might as well be lurching out of his chest. god, he feels that excitement and nervousness as if he were his teenage self sharing a first kiss with his crush â yet whatever feeling is clouding his mind is something darker and deeper, something that transcends what he can describe with words.
he kisses you like his life depends on it. once youâve both pulled back to get some air, looking the other straight in the eye, itâs like youâre silently admitting that the relationship you share is more than just being partners.
itâs something that comes alarmingly close to love.
the moment is harshly interrupted when his phone rings. he blinks a few times before rolling his eyes at the timing, as heâs still half on top of you.
you can do nothing but wait underneath him as he takes the call, and when he closes his eyes and releases a sigh, you know itâs not positive.
âalright, thank you.â he says before hanging up, turning his focus to you. âthe alarm at my apartment in the city was triggered. i gotta check it out, iâm sorry.â
âitâs fine.â you mutter out, suddenly unsure of how to talk to him now that youâve crossed the line that you have.
but mingyu is much more straightforward. his gaze is warm and intense as it finds your eyes, and he wants nothing more than to stay here with you. so he shows you that.
just when your lips are about to touch again, he smirks, gently holding your chin. âiâll be back for this.â
with those words, he catches his breath and gets up from the couch, after which he jogs down the stairs, and half a minute later, you hear the front doors open and close.
the sound allows you to release the breath youâve been holding.
what the fuck have you gotten yourself into?
thank you for reading. let me know if you enjoyed it x
READ PART TWO HERE
ÂŽ SANAKIRAS â do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.
#kim mingyu x reader#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svthub#mingyu x reader#seventeen smut#seventeen fanfic#svt smut#seventeen imagine#svt imagine#kim mingyu ff#kim mingyu angst#svt fic#svt angst#svt fanfic#svt imagines
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Hello :) please could I request headcanons of the hashira having a crush on a hashira!reader whoâs very motherly to the younger demon slayers but shy and secretly craving affection from the other hashira đđ
demon slayer hcs: motherly hashira!reader x the hashira pt 1
characters: fem!reader x giyuu, rengoku, tengen, shinobu, kamaboko squad (mentioned)
AN: some of these are platonic instead of romantic.
pt. 2 with mitsuri, obanai, sanemi, and muichiro is HERE
stop because i love this
you don't talk to the other hashira much
but its not because you don't like them!
they're just a little intimidating
and you want them to like you so bad
but what if you accidentally embarrass yourself in front of them
would be my biggest fear tbh
GIYUU
this guy is just as shy as you are
awkward asf too
but seeing as you're one of the few hashira that are kind to him..
he really likes you
also really appreciates the way you take care of the younger slayers
especially the Kamado siblings
i mean he did literally put his life on the line for those two
you guys don't talk much when in each others company
really its more of a dead silence lmao
like thats a surprise at all lol
but he enjoys being in your presence
he thinks you have a very calming aura around you
and he never feels any hostility from you
if you guys are paired up on a mission?
my guy is glued to u
no way is a demon going to hurt someone as pure and kindhearted as u
not on giyuu's watch
even tho he's goin to be protective of u during missions
he knows that despite your sweet nature, ur a hell of a fighter
respects you sm
thinks of you as his only true friend within the corps
RENGOKU
i can never get enough of him i swear
he absolutely adores you
goes out of his way to talk to you every chance he gets
ur all the way on the other side of the butterfly estate?
sunshine boy is hunting you down
ur on a mission a few miles away from his estate?
he's alrdy otw
also very oblivious
you get shy when he starts talking to you
maybe you start blushing
"oh are you sick? your face is all red. i hope you don't have a fever..."
and hes putting his hand on ur forehead to check ur temperature
if he touched me id faint
admires how you genuinely care for the younger slayers
the way you encourage them to get stronger
the way you help them train
the way you make sure they're eating and drinking enough
you remind him of his mother
TENGEN
when him & his wives finally have children..
ur designated babysitter 100%
being the sound hashira he has a great sense of hearing
so he hears your interactions with the younger slayers
you're not afraid to talk to the kids
you comfort them. laugh with them, scold them, etc.
wonders why you act so differently in the presence of the hashira
makes it his mission to make you comfortable around him
u don't have to worry abt affection when tengen is concerned lol
compliments you 24/7
"you look very flashy today!"
"you are a great teacher!"
"You should become my 4th wife!"
no bc that lmfao ^
SHINOBU
you two are very familiar with each other
it's very often that you're dragging inosuke or genya by the ear to the infirmary to be treated
mostly inosuke
so she is well aware of how motherly u can be
she's a regular witness to the many scoldings given out to the younger slayers
you also asked her to train you in basic first aid
your red face and stuttered words were so cute she acted like she couldn't understand you
just so you would repeat it
loves to tease you
nothing too bad!
and never mean!
just thinks you're so adorable
really appreciates when shes sent on missions and you help out in the infirmary
wants to be better friends with you
#demon slayer#demon slayer x reader#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#giyuu tomioka#giyuu#demon slayer headcanons#rengoku kyojuro#rengoku#kyojuro rengoku#tengen uzui#tengen#shinobu kocho#shinobu#hashira x reader#hashira#giyuu x reader#giyuu tomioka x reader#rengoku x reader#rengoku kyojuro x reader#tengen x reader#shinobu x reader#anime#inosuke#genya shinazugawa#genya#inosuke hashibira#kamaboko squad#demon slayer fluff#tanjiro kamado
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I need you to stop me from making another Tim Drake centric fic
I got this random idea that wonât leave me alone
like what if the emotional scars and trauma people have show up physically too most commonly as little cracks on the skin and all of the bats have them
they hide them tho with make up and stuff so people donât question it except Tim hides them from everyone maybe bc thatâs what his parents taught him to do maybe bc he just doesnât want to burden any of the bats
the bats think that Tim is fine so to them heâs invincible which leads them to treat him as such subconsciously or otherwise especially Bruce
it takes a lot for something to be bad enough that they physically manifest and Tim has A LOT bc everyone thinks heâs invincible
:) it wonât leave me alone help me I beg of you
Hmm.... Let's add on, shall we? This is a very rad idea. You should definitely write a fic about it, but no pressure.
Mind if I explore it? Also, feel free to disregard any part below you don't want/disagree with. This is just brainstorming ^^
Alright. Emotional scars are a physical mark on someone's skin.
Similar to regular scars, they can fade as a person heals.
Some may never disappear, and some only appear for a short time.
What would their color be?
Would they look like actual cracks in a person (so black-ish in color)? Would they be gold or multi-colored (different colors represent different kinds of emotional traumas)?
The level of hurt inflicted is directly proportional to the size (length and width) of the scar.
Perhaps more could be deduced from the general shape (is it jagged? A single line? Branching?)
Not all people have these marks
Most of the population manifests them. There's some prejudice against folk who don't [something something they are heartless, incapable of feelings, not able to be emotionally hurt, cold, detached, etc.], but hiding scars is also common. Therefore, it's harder to discern whether someone is hiding their marks or markless. It's a very fine line, so most people allow a smaller mark to show every once in a while. There's even a few trends to proudly display all marks.
Marks appear at the time of the emotional harm
It may not be apparent at the time due to the location, but the individual being hurt will manifest the mark at the very moment of emotional harm.
Anyways, that's the background stuff. Fun, but let's get into Tim specifically ^^
Tim's parents are part of the few who believe that showing off your scars to anyone, even your loved ones, is both a weakness and a way to guilt-trip people. Therefore, through their archeology studies, they managed to obtain magical objects to prevent the showing of emotional marks. It's similar to glamor.
Tim's object can change forms to suit his needs (so a ring at one moment and an earring the next). This ability prevents the Bats from discovering it.
Janet fakes a very small mark on her hand when she wants to discourage any rumors that's she's incapable of manifesting marks. For Tim, though, his parents wanted him to have rumors of being incapable of forming marks. It served their purpose better for him being the cunning Drake heir.
The deception started from birth, so no one but the Drakes know of Tim's ability to form marks [and the Drake parents never see the marks they leave behind on their child].
The Waynes, long before Tim entered their life, were aware of these rumors. Thus, when Tim demands to become Robin, he doesn't correct their assumptions.
Bruce is a callous fucker to Tim at the start. If Tim can't be hurt emotionally, then Bruce's ill-treatment of him is fine (which is flawed logic. The markless can be emotionally hurt, and they still deserve kindness, dignity, and respect even if they couldn't. Bruce was mentally fucked up, but it doesn't excuse his treatment).
Eventually, Bruce comes to the second realization that Tim should still be treated well even if it doesn't hurt him regardless. The man's behavior is better, but he still has the notion in mind that Tim can't be emotionally hurt. He uses this for missions and to downplay the way his other kids treat Tim (specifically Jason and Damian when they first meet Tim).
Tim gets used to a rotation of insult-names: Robot Robin, heartless, markless (said insultingly), cold-blooded, unfeeling bastard, etc.
He's also subject to a TON of misunderstandings. People are more reluctant to love him due to the belief that he can't love them back. He gets yelled at and told off for "masking/faking his emotions" when he's actually being genuine.
Which adds to his hurt :)
He also has to pretend not to grieve his parents when they die :(
Due to how rare markless are, the Bats don't meet "another" one until after the BruceQuest. When they chat with this person, they realize how many misconceptions they have about them (such as the markless being incapable of feelings. In fact, they accidentally offend that person when they tell the other they don't need to fake their emotions in front of the Bats. Safe to say, the markless individual becomes incensed when they realize how they've been treating their own markless family member).
This would be at least four (probably closer to five) years after Tim first became Robin. The entire family has a meltdown.
Tim, on the other hand, is used to the treatment the Bats have been giving him and becomes incredibly uncomfortable with them trying to care for his feelings and whatnot. It's rocky for a long while as everyone tries to seek forgiveness for something Tim bitterly doesn't hold against them (he is lying to them after all).
Tim rarely, if ever, views his own marks. The last time he checked was when he was having his identity crisis after Robin was taken from him. His entire body, from head to toe, had cracks in it. There was a giant, gaping crack on his back for the metaphorical stab in the back it was.
And we haven't even gotten to when the Bats figure out Tim was never markless :)
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Hi I just wanted to say I loved the arcane adhd headcannons u wrote, the viktor one made me cry bc I want to be seen like that sooo bad. Do u think u could do some more characters? No pressure tho ur an amazing writer
Arcane characters with an S/o who has ADHD. | Caitlyn, Jinx, Ekko x Gn!Reader
(Previous part)
Aww, I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed the last part, anon! I hope this is to your liking as well!<33
Content: Fluff, ADHD, established romantic relationships, sfw
Reader has no mentioned pronouns.
((Not proofread))
ăCAITLYN
She noticed from the start that you were a little different from everyone else. Not that she necessarily cared much about it. You were still you after all, and your diagnosis is just a part of you she considers endearing.
With that said, Caitlyn always listens to your needs very closely and does everything in her power to help you out with them. She'll get you anything you ask for in hopes of making life easier for you. Whether it's medical help or just something to help with your fidgeting in general, you'll have it in no time with her.
Cait can, therefore, come off as kind of overbearing or overprotective at first. She wants you to lead a smooth and successful life, so she'll always be around to make any task doable for you. Procrastination does not exist when she's there, to say the least.
Her patience is an important part of your relationship that's practically invaluable. Your fidgety and unfocused nature took a moment for her to get used to, but she never makes a big deal out of it. Instead, she simply adapts to your needs and learns to cherish them as well.
ăJINX
Probably the most understanding out of everyone, albeit in the most chaotic way possible. You two are a rather troubling duo, as she herself isn't in the best position to help you out properly. Her ideas are always outlandish yet somehow still work out in the end anyways, which is rather impressive.
You're both very fidgety, but she makes up for it with her hyper awareness. Procrastination is never a thing with her, considering how focused she always is on every project she has and so it becomes somewhat of a normal thing for you to simply work in the same space together, even if it's with just music playing in the background in-between you two.
She's the last person to ever treat you any differently for your diagnosis and doesn't ever let you feel bad for it either. You accept her, and she accepts you. Anyone that tries shaming you for it is as good as dead anyway.
You two learn how to take care of each other better than anyone else ever could. Jinx may not be able to help you out like a professional doctor could, but she'll do anything to help you out no matter what forever.
ăEKKO
He doesn't entirely get it at first, mainly as he was always surrounded by people who were rather unique in their own way. But as always with anything, he still does his best to learn everything he needs to about your diagnosis and how he can help you with the resources he has. Which aren't many, but his creativity truly shines at times when it comes to you.
You're not treated any differently from everyone else, and he sure as hell doesn't allow anyone to do that either. You are normal, just with more needs that he tends to carefully. So whether it's your inability to focus well or stay still for a long time, he'll find a way to make things easier. He understands your procrastination and doesn't really push you to do things unless it's very important. But he'll work with you on any projects or missions you may have.
His patience is endless for you and his kindness even more so. He understands if you feel frustrated sometimes and tries his best to soothe you when your emotions are a little harder to process. He'll let you fidget and be yourself as much as you want to, never the type to stop you. You should be yourself around him, and he appreciates how vulnerable you are with that.
Ekko loves you no matter how hard things can get with your diagnosis. He takes every challenge on with ease and never judges you for it either.
#arcane#arcane x genderneutral reader#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane jinx#arcane jinx x reader#jinx#jinx x reader#arcane caitlyn x reader#arcane caitlyn#caitlyn x reader#caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#arcane ekko#arcane ekko x reader#ekko#ekko x reader
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: ĚĚâ NOT THE EXCEPTION . yan! isagi yoichi / gn! reader
you were the fool for thinking that he'd be the only sane one in a team full of batshĂt crazy athletes. now he has you cornered, and the look in his eyes tells you that you should have never underestimated a wĂłlf in sheĂŠp's clothing.
+ happy happy belated birthday to the love of my life bbg (who shan't be named) AND happy new year to everyone!!
( HOW DO I WRITE KISSING SCENES????, forced kĂssing, dĂşbcon, n/sfw mentions, mĂĄnipulation, hĂĄrem mentions [bc it's not yester without a hĂĄrem] )
You don't know why you thought he was the exception.
Maybe it's because, in a team full of egoists, Isagi seemed to be the only one to treat you like his equal. Shidou drapes himself all over you and leaves you icky with his sĂŠxual comments, Rin cooly glares at you and barely acknowledges your existence, you could nearly faint at the mere glare of Kunigami, and Bachira likes to play rough with your body as he clings and begs for your attention.
That's not even the complete cast. Even people like Nagi, Reo, and Chigiri came with their own set of problems. But not Isagi. You had thought it would never be Isagi. Sure, he had a tongue and attitude on the field, parading around his victory with a smug smirk and spitting poĂson at opponents and teammates alike. Yet that side of his seemed to completely disappear whenever he stepped out of the field, his prĂŠdatory gaze softening into a fond look whenever you bounded up to him to congratulate him on a well-earned victory. He never tried your boundaries or let his touch linger like the others did.
He was a gentleman through and through, and thinking that was your first mistake.
Your second mistake was being alone with him in your living room. He's still wearing that soft expression and kind smile, but his hands are gripping your wrists too tightly.
"[Your Name]." He says your name in a hushed whisper, bringing up your trembling wrist to his lips so he can press a kiss on a new bruĂse. You watch with wide eyes as those plush lips touch your skin and permeate an icy feeling of doom through the veins. His gaze meets yours.
"Don't you think I did well today?"
Though your gut is telling you that something isn't right, you're still a fool smitten with the gentle image Isagi had portrayed himself to be. You find yourself slowly nodding, entranced by those blue eyes that never look away from you.
"Why do you think so?" He presses another kiss on your wrist, before loosening the bruising grip so he can trail kisses up your arm.
"... Your metavision is still as keen as ever," you whispered. The television screen is reflected in his eyes, news of Japan's newest victory flashing on the screen. You can't look away. "You expertly led the others to victory; you instigated all the right chemical reactions for the perfect shot." You lick your dry lips. "... You were amazing."
He huffs a laugh into your shoulder, massaging your bruised wrist like he wasn't the one who left that mark. "You're not echoing Ego's words, are you? I want to hear your own thoughts, not that slimy bastard's."
"M... Maybe," you admit, tense with his grip on your shoulder tightening. "I don't know much about soccer, but I meant every word. You were amazing, Isagi, you really were."
His grip softens, you're still tense, and he hums contentedly. "Right. I was amazing. I devoured every single bastard on that field and left them gasping." Your hair tickles your ear as he pushes them back. "So, don't you think it's a bit unfair?"
"... What is?"
"That I have to share my trophy with the others." His hand feels cold on your neck. "Can't I have one thing to myself? [Your Name], look at me."
You follow. He smiles that gentle smile again. He thumbs your lower lip like a lover.
"Kiss me."
You read romances all the time. They had always described it as hot, passionate, fiery. But maybe you took fiction too seriously. Real life is always different, and the ice in your veins is proof of that.
You draw closer, breath hitched, and mustering all the courage and swallowing down the unease in your heart, you press your lips on his.
There is no fire like the ones described in the books. There is a heavy pit in your stomach. Is this what they call butterflies? You tremble under the scrutinizing gaze of Isagi, eyes still open even with your lips on his. Soon, he closes his eyes too and you feel his lips smirk against yours.
Returning the kiss, he pulls you in closer and takes your everything in deeply. You can't pull away, you don't pull away. In this very moment, he's devouring everything you can offerâ for now, physically; soon, mind and spirit. You wince when he bites down on your lip, not even trying to be gentle about it. You flinch backward from the pain, but his hand on the small of your back allows you no escape.
"Kiss me back, baby," he whispers between kisses. "You're my trophy for the night."
You kiss with less passion than him, too nervous about making him happy. You match the softness of his lips with yours, lapping at his tongue like how he does. He laughs when he pulls away, finding amusement in the blushy and nervous look on you.
"Gosh, you're so cute," he sighs, grinning at you. It's no longer friendly, those lips. A bit swollen from your kitten bites, the way he's smirking at you feels too... smug. "Too cute. Those bastards won't have any chance now that I've devoured you."
You gasp when his hand tightens on your hip, and you shoot him a nervous look. "Iâ Isagi, what are you...?"
"C'mon, [Your Name], how could you possibly not have seen it?" He chuckles. "Bargin' into the locker room every time we're half naked, in those cute shorts, and you think that not one man in that room would think about taking you on the fuckin' bench? Think, cutie. But you've always been wary of them, good thing. They think they can devour you by intimidating and belittling you? Those fuckers don't know shit."
He catches your bottom lip between his teeth and laughs at their stupidity, vibrations buzzing your lip. "First, you gotta sweeten the trap with honey, you know?"
You are reflected in those captivating blue eyes, fluorescent lights illuminating your paling features. Taking you in again, he devours your lips once again, caring only for the taste of victory on his lips and your sweet sounds on his tongue.
Another victory snatched.
#blue lock#yandere blue lock#yandere isagi yoichi#yandere x reader#isagi yoichi#blue lock x reader#yester.writes
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augh. rewatched btvs 5x22 scene where spike & buffy go to buffy's house to get weapons before the big showdown. them having to retrieve weapons is such an amusingly flimsy excuse to have them go to her house so we can have the scene where she invites him in + he promises to protect dawn + "i know you'll never love me" speech. i love a paper-thin excuse to put 2 characters in a room together. especially when those characters are buffy and spike!!!!!!!!!!!!
it really is so striking the way spike refrains from asking buffy to let him in even though he would be perfectly justified in doing so as it's obvious that buffy has forgotten he's not allowed in. i think part of it is that he wants to make it clear that he will respect the boundaries she has set with him. but i also think part of it is that he doesn't wanna feel the pain of being rejected again, because that fucking hurt. if he doesn't ask then he doesn't have to hear her say no again. it shows how head over heels he is for her and how much he has changed since the beginning of the season, when he was challenging her boundaries so much.
spike's expression when he's walking thru the doorway......it's so endearing and some really great acting from james marsters. first surprise and disbelief, then glee which spike is trying very hard to restrain because these are grave times. and yet he can't help feeling so joyous that buffy trusts him. he glances as the doorway like he's thinking "ah yes what a nice house" which makes me laugh because it's so stupid but also sweet. i think it's him trying to play it cool and doing a not so good job of it. there's such a lightness to him - it reminds me of the feeling when you think you did something to upset your friend a few days ago and you're anxious that they've been angry with you all this time and you finally gain the courage to ask them about you and it turns out they were never angry or upset at all. the giddy relief you feel.
and then there's that little moment of tension where they're standing so close together and you think something might happen but then spike breaks off and goes to the weapons chest and starts rambling about what they should take. it's so notable that it's him who gets nervous and moves away. so different from the way he behaved with her in fool for love, getting up in her space and trying to make her admit she had feelings for him. he's accepted that she'll never love him back, and moments like this where it feels like maybe there could be something between them are too painful, so he disrupts the moment. moves away.
jumping to the end of the scene - i love that buffy is on the stairs when spike does his little speech. she's physically above him. "you're beneath me." not only that, she's ascending, just as she ascends at the end of the episode, accessing a level of heroism that spike will never be able to meet. rewatching this part, spike's expression really surprised me. when he says "i know you'll never love me," he doesn't look at all bitter or resentful. his face is open, understanding, compassionate, and thankful. because that's what this speech is - he's thanking her for treating him better than he deserves. he's so grateful for the respect and trust she has given him. it has been truly transformative, as we've seen. only he doesn't get to the actual thanking part, because he cuts himself off, saying he'll wait for her down here. i think he cuts himself off because he realizes that this isn't what buffy needs to hear right now. she's got an enormous battle to prepare for, and a sister to save, and spike's feelings simply aren't important. so he stops mid-sentence for her sake. i think we're meant to understand that the only reason he started to say this at all is that he really thinks he might die tonight and it could be his last chance to let her know what it has meant to him to be treated like a person capable of doing good.
i've focused on what's going thru spike's head in this post bc i think buffy is a lot harder to read here. which is interesting bc sarah michelle gellar as buffy is so expressive that usually you can always tell exactly what buffy is thinking. but when she's with spike in these episodes toward the end of season 5 it's difficult to tell how she regards him. i think a lot of the time even she doesn't really understand how she feels about him. their relationship is so paradoxical. she relies on him but she reviles him. she wants him around but she finds him intolerable. i might rewatch the scene again and make another post about what might be going thru buffy's head, but for now i'll leave it at saying that i kind of love how spike's feelings for buffy are crystal clear to us and buffy's feelings for spike are much murkier. spike started out as this cool mysterious antagonist, whereas buffy has always been the protagonist and we're constantly seeing things from her point of view and being made to understand how she feels. so it's kind of fun to see that flipped a little bit. and it also rings really true for me how buffy in this moment is like, i have 5 billion things to be worrying about right now, i cannot even begin to process whatever feelings i may or may not have regarding spike. and with all of that said........there really is a softness to the way she treats him in this scene. and it's nice.
anyway. these two âď¸ gonna go jump off a tall tall tower
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Maybe some optimus, metroplex, or tfp ratchet pretty pleaseđ I have no special reason bc you always make sure we're fed regularly I'm just addicted to themđ
*looping around your legs like a cat and you're holding the treat bag*
Also I am floored over some(all tbh) of the other characters recent chapters and just how many different paths all these stories are on and how well they all flow like do you somehow have extra storage space in your brain??? Where can I get the update installed for myselfđhow the hell are you sorting all these bc you may pump them out fast but thats still like a lot of things to trackđ
plz tell me you have a comically large brick of sticky notes you're slowly going through bc otherwise real talk if youre just rawdogging this all by memory plz ignore the request and give your brain a restđwe ly but plz make sure to take breaks with lots of snacks and sleepđ
Nah, I just keep track of them in my head. Iâm weird like that đ
Iâm doing better now. First day Iâve woken up without a headache in two weeks
I Can Feel You Pt 11
Metroplex x Reader
⢠Rasping softly, brows creasing in frustration that he canât speak. Still. Keeps his head turned toward where youâre sitting on a table with Ratchetâs tools as the medic works to repair the droneâs damaged systems. To give him a voice again. Something pulls, hurts and thereâs a burst of staticky noise. âLittle one,â he says, not his voice, but his words. And you stand, little fingers fisted in the blanket Ratchet has given you. âI think everything should be back online now, but take it easy. This droneâs been inactive for centuries,â Ratchet says. But heâs not listening, focused on you as he mass shifts the drone to your size, the energy strain slamming through him in drowning pain. Crippling him and severing the connection to the drone. Hearing Ratchetâs frustrated, âWhat did I just say?â
⢠Visor dimming, the drone sags. âMetroplex?â Looking from him to Ratchet when the medic vents tiredly. âIs he gone again?â Nodding, the medic slams down a tool a bit rougher than necessary. âCan I sit with him until he comes back? Please,â you add as he frowns at you.
⢠âProbably not a good idea. Any involuntary movement could hurt you even at that size,â he mutters so you content yourself with sitting on the edge of the table, legs dangling. âWe should at least get some answers,â he grumbles. âNo matter how much damage we repair, heâs rerouting energy somewhere and staying critically low.â Hesitating as he begins cleaning his tools, he looks at you, expression critical. âHound told me youâd said the Titan was speaking to you.â
⢠Face heating at the memory that speaking isnât all youâd done, you shrug weakly. âHe was lonely. I started talking to him first.â Because youâd been lonely, too. Overlooked a lot of the time by the Autobots just because youâre so small, an after thought most of the time. Easily forgotten. But Metroplex had heard you, seen you. Reached out in return. Echoing your loneliness and halving it.
⢠Again. Frustrated as he retreats deeper into himself, knows he needs to build energy again. Be patient. But the drone is there with you. Itâs mass displaced. These are steps forward, not stumbles. He just has to remain on course. Youâre waiting for him. Youâll be right there. He needs to believe it, desperate to hold you in his arms even if theyâre borrowed. To recharge with your heartbeat against him, to hear your soft voice and to be able to answer. Wants to hear about your day, your dreams, everything. And heâs getting closer to that goal. Closer to you.
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Amusing myself all the way to Pier Park leaving notes
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i am Thinking about the city that only allows married couples and on one hand i am obsessed with big beefy shizun dressing up as syâs wife. i would, however, like to present the inverse for your consideration
binghe thinks about shen yuan dressed up as his pretty little wife and is immediately desperately extremely interested. (he needs to see it he needs to see it he needs to see it aaaaAAAA!!!!!)
he wraps sy in fine silks, and when sy says âreally shizun, isnât this a bit much just to sneak into a city?â binghe shushes him and drapes more jewelry over him. if shen yuan is going to be his wife, heâs going to treat him like his wife. which also means heâs wearing a weimao, because nobody gets to see bingheâs wifeâs face!! thatâs *his* wife!!
ough or maybe heâd put sy in a mili to keep his whole body covered. itâs not practical but binghe is possessive of his wifeâdisciple. his disciple (yes these are all from different time periods but liu mingyanâs miansha isnât even historically acurate so i am playing in the playground)
i lost track of my thoughts but i am simply picturing binghe peacocking through the street because his favorite disciple is dressed up all pretty and has his lovely face covered. people can only look in envy while binghe gets to see sy after he takes the veil off
and he may or may not leave once sy is asleep to jork it furiously bc fuck fuck fuck shen yuan is too pretty like this oh no oh shit oh fuck
sorry for babbling but not sorry for Picturing this in my terrible little head
COOK ANON, COOK!!
Binghe: a-yuan has to wear makeup!
Shen Yuan: but no one will see it under the veil so why-
Binghe grabbing shen yuans chin and putting rouge on his lips: don't think about it too hard, just do as your shizun says...
The clothes having very very subtle embroidery that resembles binghes hidden demon mark and Binghe's sooo happy to mark shen yuan all over..
Bonus points if after they return to the bamboo house, shen yuan changes out of the clothes and hands them back to binghe and says, "Shizun should return these to the tailor or regift them to a woman he fancies."
Binghe frowns and insists shen yuan keep them, but his disciple isn't having it... so binghe is left standing alone in his room holding the clothes and goes yeah I should get rid of these... I should..... and then he buries his face in the clothes and inhales shen yuans scent and decides he is never getting rid of these
#Binghe taking Liu mingyan with him so he can see what stores she shops at#and shen yuan is going âhow nice.. the best love interest is going on a date with shizunâ#meanwhile lmy and lbh are at a lingerie store going âdo you think I'll be able to convince him he needs to wear this under his clothesâ#svsss#shen yuan#luo bingge#binggeyuan#role reversal au
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