#so i like music with stories xD
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what core is this?
#I like folklore/mythology inspired music I suppose#i have maladaptive daydreaming#so i like music with stories xD#hope its still understandable despite being in german lol#spotify wrapped#not a quote#just me rambling#i adore yaelokre#I would honestly like to write songs myself but idk how#i do write poems tho
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Oooooooooohhhh im gonna feel bad for saying this and it kills me cuz i love epic with my whole heart but
Wisdom Saga did not hit right :v
#the cryptid talks#epic the musical#like i actually might rank it as my least favourite saga AND ME AND MY SIS FEEL SO BAD FOR DOING SO#AHHH#like dont get me wrong the crew still did an amazing job#the animations were amazing tho and spectacular#and there were some parts i like#like telemachus and athena's song and calypso's song love those#but everything else was just ehhhh#we're not mad just a lil disappointed#telemachus is absolutely endearing tho#i thought i wouldnt like him as much but baby boy carried this more than god games did IM SORRY#and we were looking forward to that one the most but it was just sped run through and we missed hera's more sassier deeper voice aghgghggg#love you tho mr jalapeno im looking forward to the vengeance saga the most#im sorry i didnt enjoy this one as much 😭#i see everybody else's hyper/posistive reactions to it and i just feel like i cant really get on board with them :V#it threw me off from the story that was happening and i couldnt focus as much#we were so shooked tho when the livestream got cut off like EXCUSE ME??? CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN?!?? xD
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Ever made an entity purely to for plot progression in a story that was not meant to be a real character but something else entirely that drives home the severity of a situation, and then you hear a song and suddenly this entity is now a character with some story and a sense of emotions?
#The power of music#I think I have a new OC???#Well that's cool#Not sure if this will stick but so far I like it#When you look for songs for your AU and comeback with a backstory and vibes for a character that was not intended to have any of that#Now I understand writers who says that the story got out of their hand and start doing its own thing#That's a lie. I understood a while ago but this is new form of it XD#Kido thoughts#My thoughts
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actually I'm still not over the intersection of asher's culture and past or maybe future faith and his sexuality
#never will be#accidentally explained his vague story and then parts of sons and the entirety of who at peace and just. gosh#I so wish they'd known earlier that it would be their last season because I doubt noah galvin would've asked to leave#like there were 5 more episodes we couldn't keep him alive for 5 more episodes 😭😭#I adore his journey in that episode and the weight his death gives it but also what if. . . what if he kept wlaking and got in his car#and went and got engaged#we can use that slo-mo music time for engagement instead#and of course just like no bury your gays#I liked the focus it got and the angst and storylines but just. . . he did not deserve to die and I'll always be mad about it#also just the idea that maybe you can fight. maybe you can speak up. maybe you can be queer and religious. and maybe just maybe#you get a happy ending#:(((((#whoops made myself more sad 😭#anyway xdd#the good doctor#tgd#oasis's tgd chatter#asher wolke#ik I haven't like mentioned it since it ended but it's bc Emotions xd
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don’t get me wrong I love ghibli movies but what on earth is happening in tales of earthsea????
#Arren: I killed my dad I don’t why I just did#????? No explanation ever given#Sparrowhawk: cob… who is this cob….#Sparrowhawk five seconds later: Cob my old enemy#Like it’s a beautiful movie but I’m wildly confused#And now we have this whole fear of death thing out of left field with no lead up it’s not cohesive and I’m confused#I feel like arren was possessed but like legit he acts and talks like he wasn’t so im????#The bad guy was horrifying tho so I guess it has that going for it#The pacing is weird but I could’ve accepted it if not for everything else#I feel like this movie was trying to say too many things and then forgot that they were supposed to be telling a story#instead of just throwing random moral lessons at us#Anyway the whole movie feels like it’s missing a ton of pieces and I don’t think it’s bc I’m dumb or crazy I don’t think it’s me???#It just didn’t make any sense at all#But it’s pretty and the music is gorgeous ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#I just would not watch again or recommend it XD
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Hey! Hope you're doing well. Are the Headless playlists still up? And if so could you tell us where to find them? I've taken a look and maybe I'm just dumb (possible) but I haven't been able to find them and I just want to know what's on them!!!
(Fourth of July on Kat's playlist has me SHOOK lol)
Hello! Ahh someone else who is interested in the "Headless" playlists! Yay! (I'm also shocked someone noticed those tags on my reblog of that song. :D)
They are still up but I think they're only available through the Shipwrecked Comedy patreon here. I'm pretty sure they're available at the lowest tier if that helps? I know it's not feasible for everyone but if you're able to and considering contributing to their patreon, it is very well worth it.
I hope that helps a bit!! The playlists they've put together for each character are so fitting and enjoyable. I just love them.
(I've also got a "Headless"—re: Bromtilda—playlist of my own that I've been meaning to share if anyone's interested.)
#heather answers#anonymous#headless: a sleepy hollow story#shipwrecked comedy#music#seriously the playlists are so good#thank you shipwrecked for making them#i'm still obsessed XD#and they may or may not give me lots of feels still#also fun to discover new music!#i could go on and on#i'm just like 'please someone gush about these songs and characters with me' <3#will forever wonder what was on lucretia's playlist though
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Okay correct me if I'm wrong but I'm like a....marginal looker-on of kpop groups and something that I've picked up that utterly fascinates me is the way that these kpop groups focus their songs and music around some sort of concept that has so much story potential in it.
It's like...combining ballads and epic songs with modern pop music and in essence creating the short stories/one-shots in the same world version of those ballads and epics. Like musicals but rather than a cohesive single story, fragments of story ideas, and I kind of really love that....
#for the record that may just be me looking at the webtoons based off these kpop groups#and also seeing some reverend's reactions to a blackpink music video and being absolutely knocked off my feet by all the classical refs#and all the thought that's put into these music videos#and also a friend giving me a short explanation of the txt lore#like i wish i could get more into kpop because the way it seems that some of them base their songs around this...concept?#thats SO cool and the story lover in me is so on board with it#it makes me think of alien stage...just songs with fictional backstory punched into them#though of course you do get a lot of personal songs but idk man#its really interesting to see how kpop groups are less personal and more...conceptual?#but i may be way off the charts....#anyway im open to hearing corrections or expansions because that's so cool to me#(i cant even compare it to english-language music though because i know just as much about it as i do kpop xD)#fandom spamdom#poems and related#k-pop#note's nonsense
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When your limited understanding of German protects you from being annoyed 😍
#after makign the edit i unfortunately was overcome by the urge to replay so viel mehr over and over#i looked up a lyrics translation and omg#they really had to erase every historical fact about the characters to make their 'love story' musical worthy xD#fyi as the authority on rudolf (/j...) he would've never praised mary for being wise beyond her years - he thought all women were frivolous#or rather that they were boring if they weren't laughing or singing dhhfhd#also mary is like 'he's a crown prince... everything i despise...' fyi irl she was basically a fangirl who specifically liked that he was#the crown prince#anyway the melody is nice
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Hhhh my anxiety dumb lol. I got excited to see someone I've seen the posts of was a fellow Peruvian and got anxious that it'd be weird to bring up that up. So uhhhh, guess I'll speak to the void.
I am so dumb lol. How do I not realize the Peruvian flag till just now XD. I somehow did not notice the very obvious Peruvian flag and it took today to just see it. I was just like "Huh, the horn thingy looks a lot like the one in Peru's flag....wait."
I've only ever interacted with like 2 Peruvians irl so every time Peru ever gets mentioned or whatever I'm just surprised in a good way lol.
#random#no one notice this it's just me being an idiot XD#Random but can I say that Peruvian food is so good#Chicha morada; estofado; Patita; Turron San Jose; etc#And the music!!!#Alborada and Eva Ayllon#there another Peruvian musican I like but dumb brain can't remember on the top of my head#I grew up with Peruvian cooking and music alongside a couple stories of the Incas#Specifically the story about people coming from Lake Titicaca#I've already talked about this before but when Rise of Beasts was set in Peru I legit flipped out I was so dang happy#THEY SPOKE QUECHUA LIKE EXCUSE ME YEESSSSSSSS
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🌉Your Exciting Urban Love Story ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card
Life’s full of twists and turns, and we don’t often know beforehand the kinds of encounters that could change our lives forever. Before events actually take place, do you know if you’re being specifically guided towards a special someone? Have you ever thought of that? Some kind of an unexpected, but destined, rendezvous? Have you ever felt the pull? 🤪⭐️🤯
‘That day, that time, at that place; if I hadn’t met you, we would’ve remained eternally strangers.’ – Suddenly, A Love Story by Oda Kazumasa
series: Friends (2002)
deck-bottom: Queen of Swords, Red Alchemist (John Dee) & Priestess of Contemplation
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]
[Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – Heartfelt Old-School Romance
‘Love, I know that someday real soon, you’ll be right next to me. Holding me so tight, so I will always be yours. Although we can’t be together now, remember I am here for you, and I know you’re there for me.’ – One (OST Friends 2002) by Lee Soo Young
unexpected rendezvous? – XIX The Sun
OMG this Pile has the strongest old school vibe. It feels very romantic in the sense of what you’d expect from it as depicted in movies, books and other forms of literature XD It’s open, honest, straightforward, without any pretences. This means your Destined Person is likely to show interest from the get go and make it clear to you that they’ve got intentions~ It could also be the other way around, although it’s more likely that you both share this mutual attraction from the start <3
It's very likely you meet your Destined Person during the daytime, but it could also mean outdoors or basically, where there’s a bright light for some reason LOL It’s a cheery situation and this rendezvous could happen as an ‘accident’. Like you’ll think there’s no way you could be meeting someone this important in the manner you find yourselves in! It’s just crazy! Probably even embarrassing for one or both of you XD
But, you’ll be glad the ‘accident’ happened at all. Without this tiny hiccup in the grand stream of Fate, you’d probably never crisscross each other’s paths. And what a delight it is to have met someone so similar to yourself! Someone who also lights up the darkest corners of your heart. Someone so positive and helpful and kind, and possibly also wise ;P Making you feel…what an aspiration of a person <3
ah, courtship! – 6 of Cups Rx
Your Destined Person is totally not an ex or anybody you’ve known in the past. Could also be someone from a foreign land (or you could be the foreigner in town). And yet, in spite of these immediate differences, you really do find yourselves to be very similar! Like two peas in a pod kind of similar! Which is so fascinating especially if you’re visibly different by nationality, race, custom and some such.
And yet, here you are sharing similar philosophies, taste in music, aesthetic, etc. Maybe even some past struggles with personal development, too. There are so many similarities shared between you that makes being with each other feel like a homecoming. You are awash by a sense of renewal of the spirit or of the psyche hahah This ‘foreigner’ is really just me in a different body~! And this whole thing motivates the both of you to become better people in general, but also for each other <3
There’s a genuine sense of appreciation for each other’s Souls, talents, skills and life’s many downfalls and triumphs. You both really connect on a mental level but especially on emotional and spiritual levels. And it’s such a beautiful thing because, all this time, with the people who seem more similar to yourself, you’ve never felt a connection this deep yet effortless. But this stranger… You view the world with eyes that seem to be made of the same cosmic material~
adoration ON – 4 of Cups Rx
Smile, baby~! Because your Destined Person’s smile literally brings sunshine and calm into your Life. If you get to meet them often, every day is a cosy day of fun and meaningful conversations. You see, up until the point juuust before you meet your Destined Person, Life could’ve gotten quite boring, stagnant, or you could’ve been quite disillusioned with your routine or the stream of events you were used to operating with. But when this person popped into your Life, it’s like being reborn in their inspiration.
Surely it’s Love? This much adoration. And how much you feel stronger and more excited about what could be next for you if you keep going? Surely, it’s something such as Love that could move you in this way? Yes, your Destined Person adores you in a mature and sensible way. They think very highly of you, so when you feel seen by someone just as capable, as motivated, someone so strong and positive, you can’t help but view yourself that way, too. Awesome by association, you know? :D
Their inspiration makes you go for a levelling up! That in itself—them adoring and cheering on you like that—becomes the fuel that makes Life full of wonders again! In essence, theirs is a Love that nurtures your Soul just by them having their heart connected to yours~ <3
MANIFESTING A HIGHER ROMANCE🔻💗
what signs are they receiving about you? – Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei)
how are they feeling as you’re manifesting them?? – Priestess of Innocence
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – Business Partners Turned Power Couple?!
‘I kind of liked it your way, how you shyly placed your eyes on me. Did you ever know that I had mine on you? So let me come to you, close as I wanna be. Close enough for me to feel your heart beating fast.’ – Final Fantasy VIII (Eyes on Me) by Faye Wong
unexpected rendezvous? – Ace of Pentacles
Ah! This the power couple Pile! XD Chances are very high that you could meet your Destined Person at the workplace. This could also be a business partner of yours if you already have a business of your own. This could also mean meeting your Destined Person during a business event, trip or meeting. Basically, your unexpected rendezvous with your Destined Person has something to do with ‘work’. For some, this could also mean meeting your Destined Person at a ‘charity event’ if that’s something that’s deeply important to you <3
You could also meet your Destined Person when doing some ‘charity work’ such as helping the less fortunate or feeding the homeless or even when building a house for somebody else! So, this is a really cute Pile in which on the day you meet, you kinda intuitively know that something special is likely to occur…but you’re not quite sure what it could be. It’s just…such a good, cheery day and your heart is very wide and open. It’s very possible this occurs outside when the sun is out, too~
Even if you’re the type that’s been thinking and manifesting your Destined Person, this sudden meeting will still be very unexpected, possibly because you’ll have forgotten all about this reading LOL On the day you meet, there’ll be other people present and you won’t be at your own house or anywhere near it. Basically, there’s this ‘work’ vibe so you’ll definitely be working on something at some other place that’s not your house or theirs, though it could be somebody else’s house nevertheless😉
ah, courtship! – Queen of Wands Rx
You probably have gotten this from other readings as well but your Destined Person isn’t your usual ‘type’ if you have any. Like you normally wouldn’t fall for a person like this, whether it’s their face, race(?), height, age, or overall style and vibe. Even if you never declared a type, your friends could tell that you had a tendency to fall for a certain look, age group or behaviour LMAO But your Destined Person is kinda totally on the outside of those preferences… AT FIRST GLANCE!
Your Destined Person is without a doubt extremely attractive, but what really draws you to them is how pure and honest they are. It’s giving, ‘With that kind of a face you could be the smoothest criminal and still get away with most things, so how are you so, so… good?’ They may have a look that gets people misunderstanding them because they’re just that attractive, but your Destined Person is really lovely on the inside. Their heart is kind and tender, and this is the type of person who genuinely wants True Love <3 They got no game.
Upon closer investigation you’ll learn that your Destined Person has a character that’s everything you’ve ever dreamt and prayed for. You’ll see how this person opens up to you very quickly because they themselves can’t deny their attraction to you. They’ll be all over you very fast but they got no game on you. That’s not what they wanna do with you. This is a person, who, when they hold you, they hold all of you in their embrace to heal you and make you safe and very happy. Quite gallant, indeed! <3
adoration ON – 3 of Cups
It’s obvious to all of your friends/colleagues that there’s something unusual going on between you and your Destined Person XD The attraction you feel towards one another is undeniable! It can’t be hidden, especially from your Destined Person’s side. Their friends will notice just how different they are when looking at you, talking to you, just being with you. There’s a kind of cheerfulness that seems to shine only when you’re around; and it’s obvious to anyone who knows you both that there’s Love here.
Due to ‘work-related circumstances’ you may not become a couple right away—in spite of the attraction—but everybody at the workplace is whispering, and possibly even gossiping, speculating if there’s something more going on between you two LMAO For the most part, most people are SUPER SUPPORTIVE of you two. There’s just… something quite pure and innocent in the way you treat each other. You two adore each other in the softest, sweetest manner. And that’s such a breath of fresh air—aspirational, even.
As a means to get to know each other, your Destined Person is likely to hang out at ‘innocent’ places with you. You could have lunch breaks together quite a lot hahah They could accompany you to a café; grab a baguette at a boulangerie with you; run errands ordained by your bosses; and other activities that seem work-related and unromantic that could potentially turn accidentally romantic by some higher power XD Well, maybe that Higher Power is really just your intent😉
MANIFESTING A HIGHER ROMANCE🔻💙
what signs are they receiving about you? – Red Physician (Galen of Pergamon)
how are they feeling as you’re manifesting them?? – Priestess of Luck
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – Unexpected Love After a Total Heartbreak
‘The miracle of our rendezvous changed the colour of my tears. You make me feel brand new and I wanna Love that’s brand new. I don’t worry about the dark night where I can’t see the Cosmos because I can see you. You are my Shinin’ Star and I wanna be your Shinin’ Star.’ – La La La Love Song by Kubota Toshinobu
unexpected rendezvous? – Queen of Cups Rx
Some time in the future, you’ll have your heart broken by someone who’s irresponsible—prolly downright callous and even narcissistic. The whole experience is very likely to break you apart, leaving you traumatised and may even find it difficult to trust again. In some ways, you could be questioning your worth, wondering why nobody loved you the way you wanted.
‘I asked for snuggles, but all I got are struggles…!’ kind of frustration LMAO In many ways, you could’ve given up on the idea of love and romance. You’d given so much of yourself but got nothing in return—if anything, you got garbage and mistreatment in return! So, it’s likely you’d decide to take this time for self-reflection and building a connection with yourself. But that instead is the magical part!
On the way towards healing and loving yourself, very IMMEDIATELY the Universe sends you a match who’ll answer all of your prayers! By ‘immediately’, I really mean immediately! Like, straight away you will meet your Destined Person to replace all of the heartache you’ve sustained up until that point in your Life! Dang! The manifestation works way too fast it may take you by surprise! <3
ah, courtship! – VI The Lovers
Well, yes, for some of you reading this, the manifestation of your Destined Person could be in the flesh immediately. For some of you tho, this could mean ‘meeting’ your Destined Person in the spirit first! It could be that you begin to wake up to the notion of Soulmates (even Twin Flames, hopefully the real notions of it, if you are a Twin Flame indeed). If you’re meeting your Destined Person in the spirit first…
Their aenergy could come to haunt you regularly in the forms of…let’s see:
angel numbers (this could get persistent!); repeatedly seeing names, numbers and symbols that make you wonder if these signs are related to their identity in the physical realm; coming across memes, quotes and tarot readings online that seem to redirect your attention to this notion of a higher romance—a spiritual kind of Love; aaand receiving messages while seeing glimpses of them in your dreams~
For those that’ll manifest immediately in the physical, you’ll notice—immediately—that your Destined Person is the complete opposite of whoever caused your heartbreak in the first place. That in itself will be very healing for you because, immediately, you’ll believe in Love again—maybe even in the goodness of the Lord, as the religious ones would say LMAO
Basically, your Destined Person is like a mirror-Soul to yours and by this point in your spiritual evolution, you’ll have been able to tell what’s trauma bonding and what’s a real empathetic bond based on kindness and mutual compassion ^o<
adoration ON – Knight of Pentacles
Oh! Seriously, let me just say first that you need to watch or at least find clips of Long Vacation drama on YouTube. Your Destined Person’s aenergy feels quite similar to the main guy, Sena. Very kind and caring, responsible but shy while being quite a tough and stubborn male character LMAO Your Destined Person feels very much like this part of Sena’s personality. He has a lot of compassion for the people around him but especially you, after knowing what kind of bullshit you’ve had to brave through all alone T.Tv
In many ways, they respect you a lot for your strength and courage! They feel like they could learn a lot from you. As much as they admire you in this way, they also want to be the person who babies you—they want to be allowed to take care of you. They will seriously, and carefully, endeavour to make you feel safe, nurtured, cared for…they just…really, really want to keep you safe, feeling secure in the connection. They want you to trust them wholeheartedly and will show through cute little actions how dependable they are. They will plan cute dates with you, all for you to simply have a good time <3
This person is the type that fantasises about having a Life with you, and they’re serious enough, responsible enough to truly plan everything out. Something in you—something very cute in you—motivates them to become a bigger, stronger, more dependable version of themselves! Even if you identified as a demure character and your Destined Person were the more cheerful one, they’d still think of you as the Sunshine in their Life~☀️
MANIFESTING A HIGHER ROMANCE🔻🧡
what signs are they receiving about you? – Green Geographer (Gerardus Mercator)
how are they feeling as you’re manifesting them?? – Priestess of Fertility
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]
[Patreon] [Paid Readings] [buymeaboba]
#Punk Panda Pick A Pic#pick a card#pick a card reading#tarot pick a card#pac#pac reading#tarot pac#future spouse#future spouse reading#tarot future spouse#fs#divine counterpart#romance#relationship#love story#soulmate#girlblogger#girlblogging#manifesting#destiny#gratitude
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I got heartbroken at prom and did not talk to that person I forced myself to go out in my comfort zone just to be friends with until we graduated. that. 😂😅 Prom was a dramatic day for ending your happy eras ngl. I'm just happy I looked amazing in the pictures esp bc I'm at the center lol
Still, it was pretty crowded with mostly dancing, so I can see how most who rather mind their own business would find boring lol. I just did my best to enjoy the moment because it does not happen every day and it was expensive lol
#mine was sooo wild lmaoo#movies and shows always make it so romantic#but dang- I got rejected by my crush that night lol#I remember our cotillion and the song was my favorite love song haha#we're only watching it and he's beside me which does not help after being rejected XD#then he freakin' gave me a flower (why tho? I don't know too! He's so hard to read tbh) that without his knowledge-#was my metaphor for dead love in my poems (mostly about my first love I got over with)#like-what are the chances it was that flower lmaoo#and then my first love asked me out to dance lol#he honestly made the night not as bad as it would have been#bc we finally got closure after being strangers for so long#I moved on without closure before but it was still nice <33#he's such a good friend!!#anyway it was just all dancing mostly#and it's fun if you had your friends there at least#and ofc music you know and love!#anyway time to conspire how the heck I'd write a KoyuRyou story out of this#bc it was my only motivation to go back then lol#yet the story was seemingly like Koyuki/Natsuki XD#my ramblings
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Leave these woman alone ft Yuna
1400 words
Notes: Hi anon thanks for your request, since it’s sent through the request box 😊 here’s a story dedicated for you. Also I will do Yuna justice with a better fic eventually don’t worry! (Yes this is a mix of shade and partial smut i guess) Did'nt proof read this thing cause it aint worth my time. For those who wants to read for the smut you can ignore the first two and last two paragraphs they arent for u but specially for my dear requester XD
First person POV of anon:
My name is Anon. I work a standard 9-5 job and have been doing so for 30 years. I’m a single and have never dated. Everyday I get scolded by my boss but I turn a deaf ear to it , just going through the motion of my routine life. Things however get exciting once I get home. I can induldge in my deepst darkest fantasies.
You see while on the surface, I'm a white knight in shiny armor, beneath that, I'm a self-righteous hypocritical man, living a double life. I've got an entire collection dedicated to Yuna, my ultimate bias, stashed away in a folder on my laptop, hidden deep within a secret folder, safely encrypted with a password only I know. It's my little haven, my sanctuary—a place where I can indulge in my wildest fantasies, free from judgment. I mean, who doesn't have their celebrity crushes, right? But for me, it's more than just a crush. Yuna is my fantasy. She's the one who makes me question my self-control.
The room is dimly lit, perfect for what I have in mind. I pull up a recent fancam from her solo performance.. There she is, in a low-rise jeans that showcased her hourglass figure, strutting across the stage with sheer confidence. The camera zeroes in on her for a solo performance, the lucky bastards in the audience probably have no idea how fucking lucky they are. Her eyes glint with confidence, as if seducing me and sending a wave of anticipation through my body. I bite my lip, feeling my dick twitch in anticipation. It's one of those days when I crave a release, a day dedicated to worshipping her perfect body.
Yuna is everything I want and more. Her magnetic aura draws me closer to the screen as she seductively sways to the music. Every curve of her body is sculpted by the gods themselves. I zoom in, wanting to explore every inch of her, starting from her face. Her huge eyes, her full lips that always look succulent, begging for me to take them. Her skin, pale in complextion that glows under the stage lights. I'd kill to know what she smells like, if she tastes as sweet as she looks. Her long legs they begged to be worshipped.
Her hair, cascading in soft waves, frames her face, occasionally whipping her forehead as she moves, making my fingers itch to run through it, to feel its silkiness between my fingertips. Her crop top reveals just the right amount of skin and her incredibly sexy midriff. They hug her chest tightly. I imagine pinching those rosy nipples, already knowing from countless fantasies that they'd harden instantly. The thought sends a jolt of lust straight to my cock.
The camera follows her every move, and she's teasing the fans mercilessly. She bends down, the low-rise jean - hugging every inch of her toned thighs and plump ass, highlighting the perfect hour glass figure. God, her ass! It's a work of art, rounded and firm, a sight that has me gripping my cock, stroking slowly as I imagine sinking my face into that soft flesh. The way she reveals her cleavage, The way her muscles flex under those jeans makes my mouth go dry. She knows what she's doing, the little tease. Each flick of her hips is a silent invitation to something forbidden.
As the song progresses, so does my hand on my shaft. I can't stop picturing her riding me, those long, toned legs wrapped around my waist. Her abs clench and relax with each provocative move, the sight alone nearly pushing me over the edge. The sweat glistening on her skin, the way it would feel slick under my palms as I hold her hips, grinding into me, fuck, it consumes me. I want to be the reason for her sweat, for her moans.
The performance builds up, and so does my pace. My breathing quickens, mirroring her heavy pants as if we're in sync. I can imagine the lust matching my own as she moves her hair behind her back, giving me a perfect view of her slender neck and the pulse point that makes my mouth water. A collarbone looks so defined and my hands would look so fucking perfect there, pushing her down unto my cock. My cock twitches, the thought of owning this goddess in the bedroom flooding my mind. I want to see her—no, I need to see her submissive side, her begging for more, on her knees, her pretty eyes pleading for me to take control.
I can't resist the urge anymore. I pause the video at the part where she's bending forward offering an eyeful of her cleavage and a hint of her flat stomach. The image fills the screen, letting me examine every detail. From her perfect breast that I imagine running my tongue all over, to her navel, a shallow indent, a tempting destination for my tongue. I'd work my way downward, hearing her whimpers as I trace patterns on her sensitive skin, marking her with love bites along the way until I reach her wet core. With my other hand, I reach for the lube, needing more sensation. I coat my fingers and continue imagining my tongue's path, heading south past her navel to the place she craves attention. I'd tease her, running my fingers through her wetness, finding her clit, driving her wild. And when she's close, I'd sink two fingers into her, feeling her heat, her tightness, while I suck on that perfect neck, leaving my mark. Her moans would fill the room, echoing off the walls, telling me she's mine.
But, Yuna she's a master at denying satisfaction. The clip cuts just as I can see her biting her lip, probably holding back a moan. That's when my stroking gets wilder. I jerk off fiercely, imagining her on all fours, that ass in the air, begging for my cock. In my mind, I'd stand behind her, taking in the view before delivering hard thrusts, the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room. She loves rough, I know that much. I want to spank that ass, watch it jiggle with each impact, watch her pussy squeeze my dick, milking me.
"Fuck, Yuna," I groan, my vision blurring as pleasure spikes. I see her looking over her shoulder, those eyes half-lidded, knowing she's craving it harder. In my fantasy, I'd tug her hair, making her submit, taking her like an animal. I increase the pace, my balls tightening, then I would reach my peak, exploding with sensation. I come violently, coating my hand and the screen, wishing it was her that I coated instead.
Panting, I lean back, my heart hammering in my chest as I relish the aftermath. The image of her winking at the camera as she says her farewells plays in my head, and I know I'll be back for more—she's my addiction. Cleaning up, a satisfied smile on my face, I wonder if she has any idea the effect she has on me, if she knows she just gave me the best fucking handjob ever. Little does she know, this 'nobody' behind the screen is more than willing to show her how good it could be in reality.
Maybe one day, she won't just be a fantasy, but until then, I'll keep worshipping her on my screen.
Then with this guilty pleasure, I find the need to claim her as mine and "protect" her. Going unto forums, I tell myself I have to put back on my knight in shiny armour image! Telling everyone else to leave all these woman alone especially Yuna.
To me pornography is okay, I have fapped to many of it, nor do I see the need to email all these pornographic companies on what they are doing though more damaging is wrong. Other sexual fantasies are okay, but when it comes to others fantasising about my idols, I have to be defensive since they are my life even though I would never reach them. This is me, a double standard hypocritical white knight, a nameless nobody in my life. Nonetheless, this secret is safe with me, and as long as I live, I shall continue to remain self-righteous on the outside while indulging in my secret fantasies.
Thanks for your request once again! Yes me being an internet troll, anyways not the best smut I have written I apologise. Okay fuck now I actually need to do justice by releasing a proper Yuna fic . Please send ideas for req on Yuna guys a one time offer that the best idea gets it’s fic written on her.
#kpop smut#itzy smut#yuna smut#shin yuna#m reader#female idol smut#female idol x reader#girl group smut
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Flirting with fire (pt.1)
OPLA! Sanji x Reader
A/n: I’ve never really been a Sanji girl but ever since the live action came out, I’m starting to love Sanji more and more XD also! The gif is from @adragonswhimsy. They have nice gifs so do check them out!
The kitchen at the Baratie was a hive of activity, but amidst the clattering pots and pans, you were in your own world, meticulously chopping and prepping ingredients for the next day's meals. It was a role you took seriously, a way to contribute your skills to the Baratie and help Zeff, who had been like a father to you. As the evening wore on, the day's rush finally subsided. It was now nighttime, and you were still engrossed in your work, the rhythmic chopping of vegetables the only sound in the kitchen. That is until the door swung open, and a familiar voice greeted you.
"Hey there, Y/N" Sanji's voice was like music, smooth and warm. You turned to see him standing there, a pile of dirty plates in his arms, his trademark cigarette perched between his lips. "Hey, Sanji," you replied, smiling warmly. You and Sanji had known each other for years, having become close friends while growing up together on the Baratie. Your bond was special, different from his usual interactions with women. It was more like that of close siblings.
Sanji set the dirty plates down, his eyes never leaving you. He leaned casually against the counter, watching your skilled hands work the knife. "What's cookin'?" he asked, a playful grin on his face. You chuckled, glancing up at him. "Just prepping for tomorrow. You know how it is," you replied, a hint of pride in your voice. Cooking was your passion, and you were good at it.
As you explained the dish you were preparing, something unexpected happened. In a fleeting moment of distraction, the knife nicked your finger, and you winced, withdrawing your hand. Sanji's reaction was immediate. He abandoned his casual posture, moving swiftly to your side. Taking your injured hand gently, he examined the cut with concern in his eyes. "Careful now; You know that knives aren’t something to be frivolous with." he scolded, though his voice held a note of genuine worry.
Your heart fluttered at his touch and his worry. "I know, I know," you said, attempting to brush it off. "Just a little slip." But Sanji was focused on tending to your wound. He fetched a small first-aid kit and carefully cleaned and bandaged your finger. His hands were surprisingly gentle, a far cry from his usual intense demeanor.
As he worked, you couldn't help but notice the sudden tension in the air. It was different from your usual interactions. The closeness, the intimacy of the moment—it felt charged with unspoken emotions. Sanji finished bandaging your finger and looked up at you, his face a shade pinker than usual. "There," he said softly. "All better."
Your heart raced as you met his gaze. With a playful grin, you couldn't resist teasing him a little. "Thanks, Sanji," you said, your voice low and sultry. "You always take such good care of me.” Sanji's eyes widened, and he blinked in surprise. It was clear your comment had caught him off guard, and his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red. It was a rare sight to see the ever-confident Sanji flustered.
You couldn't help but giggle at his reaction, feeling a newfound sense of closeness between you two. The playful banter continued late into the night, the tension gradually giving way to a comfortable warmth that only seemed to grow stronger with time. As the kitchen lights dimmed, you and Sanji found yourselves sitting at a quiet corner of the restaurant, sharing stories and laughter. It was a night unlike any other, and it left both of you with a lingering sense of something unspoken—a connection that went beyond friendship.
The night eventually came to an end, and you realized just how late it had become. You stretched, feeling the exhaustion of a long day's work catching up to you. "I should get some rest," you said, stifling a yawn. Sanji nodded in agreement, though there was a hint of reluctance in his eyes. "Yeah, you're right. It's been a busy day."
As you both made your way to your respective rooms, you couldn't shake the feeling that something had shifted between you and Sanji. It was as if a door had been opened, revealing a deeper layer of your relationship—one that held the promise of something more than friendship. Little did you know that this night would be the beginning of a journey filled with laughter, shared dreams, and the blossoming of a love that had always been there, waiting for the right moment to ignite.
PART TWO
©𝐘𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐈— Any sign/evidence of plagiarism made from outside this name will be dealt with by whatever means necessary. Legal action may occur if non fanfiction works are plagiarized.
#opla sanji#one piece#one piece live action#op live action#one piece x reader#op x reader#one piece headcanons#op hcs#op headcanons#one piece fluff#one piece x black!reader#anime x reader#op x y/n#op x you#vinsmoke sanji#sanji x oc#sanji x y/n#sanji x reader#vinsmoke sanji x reader#vinsmoke sanji x y/n#anime gif#anime fluff#straw hat sanji#strawhats x reader#one piece strawhats
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So, in canon rise all of the turtles growing up know about how having Donnie's shell unprotected, probably from some childhood incident. And we can see in the show anytime Donnie's shell is bare; they all rush to protect him. How would they react to Donnie getting hurt because of his shell in this AU? What do they think of his battle shell? I assume they don't even really register Donnie as a softshell turtle because of his battle shell. Would this add to Raph's whole overprotective big brother instinct thing he gets because he catastrophizes Donnie's whole situation.
Also during the finale, we see that the lair gets trashed and has a huge cave in. So obviously Splinter, Donnie, and Sheldon would need to find a new place to live. Would the Drax fam help them build a new home? Are we going to see Donnie's reaction later to his home being destroyed, because losing your childhood home and your safe space must be awful. So, to maybe add a cute little twist, would Donnie, Splinter, and Sheldon live with the Drax fam for a little while?
Another thing, since Leo is obsessed with Sonic, Donnie should totally be obsessed with Wicked the musical. Another green person who sings on Broadway with similar themes of being outcasted and caring about how other people perceive them and using that perception to base their own self-worth, and she's also ostracized from society? Elphaba is written for Donnie. Donnie's theatre kid heart is an Elphaba stan and no one can convince me otherwise.
Donnie's brothers are very protective of him in this AU largely because he was separated from them for such a long time and they're afraid of losing him again. That being said, I think him having a soft shell also fuels this overprotectiveness. They do know that he is a spiny softshell before reuniting with him, Draxum told them about it, and that very much reinforced the whole "helpess victim in need of saving" type view they already made up in their imaginations of Donnie. (Not only is he in the clutches of the evil humans, but he's even more vulnerable than his hard shell brothers!) And remember that Donnie's battle shell in the AU isn't really armour the way it is in canon, it's main function is as a jetpack and maybe, like, a backpack (it has storage space). It doesn't cover the lower half of his back, so his soft shell is still visable and as such vulnurable. Donne getting hurt because of his lack of armour (biological or technological) would definitely freak his brothers out even more, but they're already pretty careful with him honestly.
Anyway, you are completely right about Donnie, Splinter and Shelldon moving in with the Draxums when their home in the sewers is destroyed XD It's kinda awkward, but at that point the Draxums and the Hamatos have learned to get along a lot better. But yeah, losing his home is very hard for Donnie, he's definitely the type of person who doesn't deal well with sudden big changes like that. I do wanna depict this part of the story eventually, but it's probably gonna be a while until then.
And god yeah, Donnie is ABSOLUTELY a huge fan of musicals lmaooo! He acts so overdramatic and theatrical all the time and the show makes it clear several times that he loves music so yeah, total theater kid. I haven't actually seen Wicked so I can't really meaningfully comment on the concept of him being a fan of that specific musical, other than omg yes Elpheba being an outcast and also GREEN he totally projects onto her.
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*gasp* It's me ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!
🍵 𝒲𝐻𝒪𝒟ℛ𝒜𝒩𝒦𝐼𝒯? ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚: A Yandere!H:SR x Reader Otome Game
✧ romanceable characters (© hoyoverse): Professor Veritas Ratio, "Your friend" Kakavasha, and "Gallagher" [for now]
✧ content warning: yandere themes, mentions of racial/species discrimination (your character is SEA/Filipino-coded), (y/n) uses they/them, the story takes place in a modern hybrid alternate universe where each planet (Belobog, Penacony, etc) is considered a country.
PLAY THE DEMO HERE (available for download on PC & Mac AND online play for any devices, though download is preferable to avoid pixellated graphics & misaligned textboxes)
You (name changeable) are a hardworking and full-pledged human cafe owner in Penacony City. Your Dreamjolt Cafe has been a go-to for residents and tourists alike. But your loved ones' lives took a sharp turn for the worst when you decided to take a much-needed vacation back to your homeland, Perlas. While your family eagerly awaited your arrival, you disappeared en route. Where did you go? How did this happen? Who did this? Was it...
☕ the prickly yet fascinating Prof. Veritas Ratio, your self-proclaimed avian-hybrid regular,
☕Kakavasha, your longest fellow human friend who always seems to have a secret or two;
☕ or Gallagher, your hound-hybrid roommate whose past is as peculiar as his loyalty?
☕ or are there two more you're forgetting?
... so...
𝒲𝐻𝒪 𝒹𝓇𝒶𝓃𝓀 ���𝓉?
Please support this game by reblogging the post & sending asks/comments! I put a lot of time and effort writing, drawing, and learning to code for this. Thank you so much, my beloved yandere!H:SR community and of course, @dreamjolt-hostelry, for being supportive friends!!! - @beloved-brynn
✧ Characters, Background Art and UI Credits
Hoyoverse assets sourced from the-astral-express-archive. I just tweaked em a bit!
Canva freestock images... Haha...
✧ Intro video, sprites & CG art Credits
Me!!! Hi <3 I hope you enjoyed them! I can't believe yall made me learn adobe after effects a bit for this-
✧ Music Credits
The main menu theme (the first song upon booting the game) is made by @naraven!
The rest of the royalty free music soundtrack (such as the music used for the video above) is sourced from Vodovoz Music Productions!!! Please show the creator some love!!! I was actually vibing so hard while listening to them lmao
✧ (Fan)Story
lol hi again!!! man. i feel like Argenti.
If you wish to support my work and want to see more of this in the future, please buy me a coffee! So I can at least prove to my parents that my work is at least worth one dollar ;;;;
#EVERYONE CHECK OUT BRYNN'S GAME#THIS WAS SO COOL >:0#for starters i love the trailer!! the edits. the text. the choice of music......aaahhh perfectly suspenseful and high-stakes#onto the game itself. big shoutout to ven for their music!! the main menu theme sounds so calm and reminds me of a joke i made about how th#colored illustration of the comic prologue reminds me of a slice-of-life isekai light novel. ven's music would definitely fit in as an ost#in that scenario. alas if only the story were that peaceful xD#cue me going “!!” every time i came across my special dialogue xD#i rlly enjoyed the demo. you did a good job at introducing the premise. y/n's background. and all of the characters >:3#AND THE CGS!! they were so pretty >:'0#i particularly like the sunday vs gallagher cg. when i first saw it i thought of hypnosis mic?? pokemon?? basically any Chara vs Chara pic~#i rlly like the dynamic between y/n and their friends. it perfectly shows why all three men would be yandere for them >:3#ohhh and quick shoutout for their sprites!! i rlly love how each character is styled. you already know how much i love ratio's glasses and#hi-waist pants. it suits him as a university professor. i like to view the brooch and shirt pattern as his personal style shining through ^#on the other hand. kakavasha's quite casually dressed. makes me all the more curious about his job#i was most surprised by gallagher's outfit!! didn't expect y/n's hound to be so effortlessly stylish. i see that dog collar though >:3#onto sunday. i'm very interested in his character. my first theory is that sunday imprisoned y/n and the demo only reinforced my theory <3#fingers crossed that he and argenti get their own routes!! i can already imagine how unique their stories with y/n will be#back to sunday specifically. i like his dynamic with y/n!! i'm guessing he is attracted to them bc of how honest y/n is with him. in#comparison to his political peers and allies#also the ao3 fic is wild. i need to know sunday's reaction to it. for all we know maybe he commissioned someone to write it xD#i picked 'no' to sunday's proposal ofc. like hell i'd abandon my cute little puppy xD#robin's involvement in this case is super interesting given what's at stake for her. hopefully we can trust her....and hopefully she won't#tamper with any evidence for the sake of her family <3#hmm i think that’s all i have to say?? i can’t wait to see what boothill and robin will do in their search for y/n#iirc the comic prologue was their interrogation with gallagher?? ahh can’t wait to hear about their lovely backstory <3#once again. you did an amazing job brynn!!#and knowing what happened in your last fic where the character and y/n owned a cafe…..i am scared of what will happen in this game#especially since this is yandere. ‘all routes lead to doom’ or whatever the tagline was in hamefura ig xD#hsr x reader#yandere hsr
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Jean Valjean's Canon Toxic Unhealthiness around Romantic Love
( alternate titles: “Does Jean Valjean is Gay?”, or “Does Jean Valjean is Asexual?” Or: “Why is it so difficult to slap an identity/sexuality label onto Jean Valjean?” Or “LGBTPTSD+”)
I was looking at the responses to this poll about whether people interpret Jean Valjean as gay/asexual/straight or something else….and it got me thinking again about Jean Valjean’s canonical intense, complex, awful, toxic, and overwrought emotions around identity/ romantic love. I want to talk about that for a bit because I think it often gets overlooked in fandom!
I've noticed that Les Mis fandom/analysis often tends to interpret Jean Valjean as being far more content, more "at peace with himself," and more "comfortable in his own skin" than he ever is within the novel. This is also a common change in adaptations. The musical's version of Jean Valjean is great-- but he also seems a lot more self-actualized, more like he's gotten himself completely "figured out" by the end of the story. Other, bad, Les Mis adaptations — the adaptations that generally portray Jean Valjean a worse more violent person — also usually make Jean Valjean more confident in himself, more confident in his own feelings/desires, more certain that he’s entitled to certain things, and more willing to demand or take what he wants.
But one major aspect of book Jean Valjean's personality is that he does not have a healthy relationship with anything about himself. He has a tortured broken relationship with his own identity. He repeatedly thinks about “Jean Valjean” as a person outside of himself, a person who he finds frightening, repulsive, savage, and horrible— like a wild animal he needs to sedate, or beat into submission. He is obsessed with self-denial and self-repression. He is fixated on the idea that he is subhuman, that he is not allowed to want things or to pursue having any kinds of relationships with other people-- and that the most heroic thing he can do is "grab himself by the collar” and violently force himself to stay away from the things he wants. He is desperate to be loved and fixated on being unworthy of love and on denying himself love. He is absolutely not at peace with his identity: to paraphrase Jean Valjean in one of the later chapters, he believes he can only gain inner peace by “eviscerating his own entrails.”
He is never truly content with who he is, what he wants, or what kind of love he wants— and he never learns to be. The novel ends with him cutting himself off from his only family, breaking ties with the only person who loves him, and essentially slowly killing himself out of self-loathing.
There are other characters in Les Mis who seem very content with who they are and what they want. Enjolras is self-assured in his identity, and doesn’t appear to feel like there is any kind of love that is missing from his life. Whether you interpret him as gay or ace or trans or w/e, book!Enjolras is written as someone who is extremely self-assured and has a loving support system that is enough to keep him happy. But I don’t think that’s true for Jean Valjean at all XD.
And that’s why it's hard to apply labels like “aromantic” or “ace” or gay/straight/etc to Jean Valjean, when talking about his canon characterization. Those labels imply the person has a basic level of comfort with acknowledging their own desires/lack of desire/identity. And Jean Valjean never achieves that level of comfort. What “label” do you give to someone whose relationship with their identity is “I do not belong in a family, I have no right to want things, I have no right to be happy, I am outside of life, and I will never be at peace until I eviscerate my own entrails?” Is there a “self-disembowelment" pride flag? XD I've seen a lot of interpretations that go "Jean Valjean never expresses any interest in romance, he's perfectly content just to have his relationship with his daughter" but I honestly don't think that's true. Jean Valjean tries to content himself with having only Cosette. But part of why everything explodes so catastrophically in the end of the novel is because he needs more than just a paternal relationship. He doesn’t try to have a “normal” father-daughter relationship with Cosette, he tries to force his relationship with Cosette to be literally everything and everyone to him, for her to be his entire world: and it doesn’t work.
There’s a passage in the novel that talks about how all the love Valjean is capable of ends up being suppressed/sublimated into his relationship with Cosette. The love of a brother, of a friend, of a father, of a husband, the love of everything he is capable of, gets repressed so that he can throw every part of himself into being a father. There are Bad les mis adaptations that incorrectly misinterpret that passage to mean that Jean Valjean is incestuous/grooming Cosette. But in context, that’s not what the passage means at all.
The passage specifies very explicitly that Jean Valjean “did not love Cosette otherwise than as a father,” that “no marriage was possible between them,” that his feelings for her are absolutely paternal. But the passage does show how Jean Valjean is doing a very different unhealthy thing: he’s relying on Cosette to fill every single emotional void in his life.
He’s relying on parenthood to fill the grief/emptiness left behind by all the other kinds of love that he has wanted, but never been given.
To quote a bit of that passage:
Jean Valjean did not love Cosette otherwise than as a father (…) Let the reader recall the situation of heart which we have already indicated. No marriage was possible between them; not even that of souls; and yet, it is certain that their destinies were wedded. With the exception of Cosette, that is to say, with the exception of a childhood, Jean Valjean had never, in the whole of his long life, known anything of that which may be loved. The passions and loves which succeed each other had not produced in him those successive green growths, tender green or dark green, which can be seen in foliage which passes through the winter and in men who pass fifty. In short, and we have insisted on it more than once, all this interior fusion, all this whole, of which the sum total was a lofty virtue, ended in rendering Jean Valjean a father to Cosette. A strange father, forged from the grandfather, the son, the brother, and the husband, that existed in Jean Valjean; a father in whom there was included even a mother; a father who loved Cosette and adored her, and who held that child as his light, his home, his family, his country, his paradise.
Jean Valjean reminds me of a Failmode I’ve seen in a lot of different real-life parents? There are parents who cope with their own hard lives by telling themselves that parenthood is their sole reason for being alive, and who obsess over their child’s success as their only source of purpose, meaning, love, happiness, community, and validation. But it’s a bad idea to rely on one child to provide the emotional support that should be shared by friends, parents, siblings, every possible loved one, etc etc—- One child can’t actually heal you from your trauma, be a replacement for your broken relationships, pull you out of your grief, save you from your adult loneliness, etc etc etc etc.
When I see the common interpretation that Jean Valjean is perfectly content just to be the father of Cosette, I think of this line:
Thus when he saw that the end had absolutely come, that she was escaping from him, that she was slipping from his hands, that she was gliding from him, like a cloud, like water, when he had before his eyes this crushing proof: “another is the goal of her heart, another is the wish of her life; there is a dearest one, I am no longer anything but her father, I no longer exist”; when he could no longer doubt, when he said to himself: “She is going away from me!” the grief which he felt surpassed the bounds of possibility. To have done all that he had done for the purpose of ending like this! And the very idea of being nothing!
On one hand, the terrible Les mis adaptations that portray Valjean as Incest Creep are incorrect and wrong. On the other hand, though, Jean Valjean IS unhealthy about Cosette— just in a different and actually sympathetic way.
He has made fatherhood his only purpose, to replace every other purpose he could have in life. So he can’t be “just Cosette’s father.” He can’t imagine her becoming an adult and leaving the nest, like children do. What does he have if he’s not taking care of her? What is his purpose in life if she doesn’t need him to be her parent? He's not just being her father, he's relying on her to be his entire reason to exist. He hasn't been allowing himself to have things outside of her.
And speaking of things outside of Cosette: segue time. This post was supposed to be about Jean Valjean and romance, so let's switch gears and talk about his canon 'romantic experiences' more:
We’re told that in his youth he “never had a sweetheart” because he “never had time to be in love.” There is no indication that Jean Valjean never wanted to be in love. The opposite is implied. Hugo frames it as a tragedy that Jean Valjean’s does not experience young love; it’s the horror of poverty taking yet another thing from him.
Within prison, Valjean is “gloomy” and “chaste;” when he traumadumps to Montparnasse about it, he talks about women looking on galley slaves with horror and disgust. Romance, at least “normal” heterosexual romance, is no longer something that is permitted for him. Jean Valjean knows very little about romance/love/sex and it repeatedly messes up his life. He spends 19 years in the all-male environment of prison, then about a decade in the almost-all-female environment of the convent. He has very little experience with how men and women are supposed to interact. The oppression Fantine faces as a sex worker, and Cosette's relationship with Marius, are both two big 'blind spots' that he struggles with.
At one point romantic love is described as “The only misery Jean Valjean had not yet experienced, and the only one that is sweet.”
In his massive confession to Marius, he agonizes over how he is not allowed to be part of a family, and is incapable of being part of a home. He compares himself to someone sick and diseased, that poisons good and normal people with his presence, and cannot be allowed to make himself part of their families.
So Jean Valjean doesn’t frame Romance as “a thing he doesn’t want:” it’s a thing “he is not allowed to want,” it is one of the many things he is banned from wanting. It's impossible to tell what kind of things he would want, if he were allowed to want them.
One of the most interesting things to me, however, is his general attitude towards Marius/Cosette.
Obviously his first reaction to Marius snooping around is fear and resentment— he doesn’t know to interact with romance, having never experienced it, and immediately begins catastrophizing. He views Marius as a privileged booby ruining his life for something as frivolous as a love affair: it reads to me as partially envy, envy of the fact that Marius lives the kind of safe comfortable life that allows him to experience young love.
Jean Valjean added: “What does he want? A love affair! A love affair! And I? What! I have been first, the most wretched of men, and then the most unhappy, and I have traversed sixty years of life on my knees, I have suffered everything that man can suffer, I have grown old without having been young, I have lived without a family, without relatives, without friends, without life, without children, I have left my blood on every stone, on every bramble, on every mile-post, along every wall, I have been gentle, though others have been hard to me, and kind, although others have been malicious, I have become an honest man once more, in spite of everything, I have repented of the evil that I have done and have forgiven the evil that has been done to me, and at the moment when I receive my recompense, at the moment when it is all over, at the moment when I am just touching the goal, at the moment when I have what I desire, it is well, it is good, I have paid, I have earned it, all this is to take flight, all this will vanish, and I shall lose Cosette, and I shall lose my life, my joy, my soul, because it has pleased a great booby to come and lounge at the Luxembourg.”
But, even though Jean Valjean views romance as something he isn’t allowed or have or to want, views it as a threat and catastrophizes over how it will ruin his life……he seems to also put heterosexual romance on a pedestal.
The way Jean Valjean idealizes marriage is one of his weirdest character notes for me.
He views marriage as Cosette’s “happy ending.” It’s her “happily ever after” point where she won’t need him anymore, where she won’t need anyone outside of her husband. A Man And a Woman Are Meant to Get Married, It's Fate, and It Means They Will Live Happily Together Forever. Marius is “the goal of her heart, the wish of her life; her dearest one.” Nothing outside of that matters anymore.
He treats her marriage as if romantic love is inherently always more important than any kind of platonic relationships, and always takes priority over them. He later dismisses the unconventional family structure he has with Cosette, saying that despite his love for her he was only a "passerby" and was not actually her real father, because they were not biologically related.
There's a moment where Jean Valjean is described as someone whose ideal is to be angel on the inside and a bourgeois on the outside. Jean Valjean's worship of bourgeois social norms, norms he can never truly be a part of, is one of his character flaws. He has a similar "guard dog" energy as Eponine does when she defends Rue Plumet from her parents.....Eponine and Jean Valjean both become the guard dogs of a kind of romantic relationship they believe they are banned from having. Jean Valjean believes that getting Happily Straight Married in a Middle-Class Home with a Picket Fence(tm) is the ideal path for life....but believes himself broken/incapable of ever following that path. And so he instead throws his entire life into securing that future for Marius and Cosette.
In what manner was Jean Valjean to behave in relation to the happiness of Cosette and Marius? It was he who had willed that happiness, it was he who had brought it about; he had, himself, buried it in his entrails, and at that moment, when he reflected on it, he was able to enjoy the sort of satisfaction which an armorer would experience on recognizing his factory mark on a knife, on withdrawing it, all smoking, from his own breast. Cosette had Marius, Marius possessed Cosette. They had everything, even riches. And this was his doing.
TL: DR:
Jean Valjean's gender/sexuality label is “idk but he’s super fucked up about it.”
#les mis#jean valjean#les mis letters#because i BRIEFLY tied it into Eponine#my idea for a self disembowelment pride flag#is that its like. prometheus and the eagle#but prometheus is into it#not sure how coherent this essay is but I am POasting it
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