#so i just said 'fuck it' and went to bed
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Gotta say, i think the peak of my school performance is gonna be that on our last project of the semester, on the project that all of the upperclassmen said they hated, that people said made them cry
when my teacher was having individual discussions with each of us to go over any mistakes we made and explain it, when i went to talk to him, he said that there's about 15-20 mistakes that students will typically make
and i didn't make any of them
And frankly i dont think im gonna do that well in something ever for the rest of my whole academic career lmao
#i got fucking 99% on that thing#i had one point marked off and it was for sizing something wrong and technically i couldve fixed that but i didnt want to lol#and to be clear i didn't just breeze through this#i stayed up til midnight of the day it was due trying to finish it on time#it was miserable and i still didn't get it in on time#i tried to submit my unfinished project too close to midnight and it took to long to load and it turned it in a minute late#so i just said 'fuck it' and went to bed#decided if it was already late id just finish it next day and resubmit it#and Huzzah!#he didn't count me off#in my defense everyone else had been turning things in late except me#and i was on time for all my other projects so i deserved One Late Project
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stumbling into the tumblr blog covered in blood. hey guys i think pendog creative library is pretty cool. you should check it out.
#pendog creative library#[cherry on top]#HELLO PENDOG FANDOM. IS THERE ANYBODY IN HERE.#or would it be pcl? eh. pendog just sounds nicer to say compared to pcl.#trying so hard to make sure these tags dont dip into being absolute nonsense because i am currently Very Tired as i write this.#drawing this took something out of meeeee. im very proud of it but i also never want to look at it again (exaggerating)#i was like 'okay this'll be easy. it'll be quick. i dont have to make a glitter texture i can just paste in an image from google.#no shading just simple base colors. make it look like a scrapbook. easy! fun :)'#then miss hecate personally came into my head and said 'listen to me very closely young lady. you are going to shade that drawing-#-whether you like it or not. make those sequins shine against the spotlight properly. make me look nice. do you understand'#and i went 'ma'am yes ma'am' and then focused so hard i got a headache#aaauguasahhghghh. im all good but also augh.#this is what those artists in universe felt like after drawing those miss hectate portraits. i think. i better not go missing after this.#BY THE WAY THE BACKGROUND IS WORMS. NOT INTESTINES. TO CLARIFY. JUST IN CASE.#ask to tag#<- for either of those two things. idk#anyways i need to go the fuck to bed. good NIGHT.
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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me rn after waking up and finding out i missed a dream space i was literally fucking awake for and now everyone on my dash is pretty much done talking about it
#i was finishing up a hw assignment and was so exhausted after i was done that i didnt even want to check my phone i just went to bed#tbf the space wouldve probably distracted me from finishing said assignment#but still#fuck my miserable life
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Why are showers so many steps I want to be unconscious
#this is partially bc of the ongoing saga of me vs the mostly nonfunctional drain in my shower#but also just the physical act of showering bc my housemate said I could use her shower so like I don’t have to worry about the evil drain#the physical act of showering is requiring an illegal amount of mental and physical energy#but I have to do it bc I have work study in the morning#and I went outside today so#contamination anxiety says I can’t touch my bed until I shower#spoons#no spoons#im so tired#chronic health#chronic pain#I fucked up my legs again fml#or like I never unfucked up my legs but they are worse rn#contamination anxiety#I don’t want to do it (anything except sleep)#fever’s vibe check#feverdreamsandlucidnightmares
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Maybe I'm projecting and being hopeful but I mentioned to M that I don't even get to shit by myself in peace lmao and I feel like something clicked for him. Bc I was like hey, at least you get private bathroom breaks at work (noncombative). And since then he's been a lot more acquiescent when I ask if I can nap and stuff
#he's never rly said no he just used to be like 'well whaf if i want to nap' like in the early parenting days#which evolved into 'yeah i guess'-type responses#lately he's more like 'yeah!' like his tone is less. whatever it was before#same with any requests i make in general like if he'll put e down for bed and stuff#idk my weird episode epiphany thing i went through last week has me feeling much less patient and self-questioning#it's just a fact that constantly asking myself if i'm being considerate enough of others has done nothing for me#like it hasn't even improved my relationships.. i don't really have any lol#like i'm done biting my tongue bc idk if i've properly considered their perspective.. i end up blowing up at minor things as a result anyway#like it makes me a worse partner fr#i also really feel like i've been putting daggers thru my own spirit by doing this for so long#like i need to stop troubleshooting my existence like 'what if i conform this way' 'what if i conform that way'#here's what if: you will be profoundly unhappy and no one who you love will truly know you#this is such a tangent off what i started talking about but basically i'm done reflexively wondering#every time i feel wronged disrespected etc. if actually i'm the one in the wrong. it really is reflexive#the way m's mom responded to me setting a boundary was a wake up call like apparently she just read into what i was saying too much#so hypothetically it wasn't the boundary she was angry about but how she thought i set it#but like i don't have any time for you if my extremely sincere and straightforward communication isn't good enough for you#like i'm not going to be understanding of your inability to take me at face value we didn't both fuck up. You did#and that's how i'm going to act. like You fucked up. yk
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God, "I missed you" sex is the best
#eep.txt#as soon as we were alone he kissed me hard and just couldn't get close enough#we went to his room and he immediately attacked my neck i don't think i've ever had so many hickeys at once#he kept grinding for so long against me on his lap 😵💫 i was very desperate for more but he just wanted so feel my skin against his#he was sososo cute with his messy hair and the way he kept saying i love you!#i could see myself in the mirror in front of his bed i didn't think i was this fucked out lmao#maybe the first time i moaned this loud and talked this much too#usually i have to keep quiet even though it's hard cuz there's other people but it was so nice having him aaalll to myself#when he finally put his fingers in it felt like heaven i'd been so long#and same he just kept going so deep and so fast my god he said he liked hearing me again#i had to stop him cause i was getting really overstimulated but it was so good#i'm pretty sure it's the first time i've actually like moaned his name without meaning to do it#apparently i didn't realise i was babbling and scratching his back so hard#god i love being a power bottom and calling him cute or my sweet boy and getting him desperate but...#when he goes feral like that after not seeing me for a while? it's the best. i'm so lucky to have such a service top#so happy to be with him again#after we cuddled and we showered and we cooked and then watched videos and then talked and laughed#i'm so happy right now to even see him sleeping next to me :]#sorry i meant to do a sexy post but i guess this is more positive venting i'll make a proper one later#still new to this writing thing i'm probably very bad at it but it's nice to have a place to write down my memories and experiences
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Shit morning. Very very shitty morning. The rest of the day better not suck or I swear to fuck I'm gonna riot
[I highly recommend not reading the tags, but I needed to vent]
#CW blood#cw periods#don't read further if you don't wanna read about me describing my bloody morning#so I knew I had my period right? it's day 3#and I went to bed last night without pants bc they weren't fitting right bc of the bloating#thank you body#as per usual I tossed and turned all night and when I woke up I felt it#I felt the mess#on my thighs and on the bed and I did not wanna get up bc that meant dealing with it#and I did not wanna deal with it (I knew I would have to but I didn't wanna)#it was SO MUCB WORSE than I thought#the bed was a mess and the blood was halfway down my thighs and ain't my stomach and the pad was so thoroughly soaked thru#it couldn't hold anything more even if I wanted it to#I ran to the bathroom and stripped and cleaned myself as best as I could#and then I had to soak my underwear and wash my blankets (cold water folx not hot)#(cold water prevents stains in this specific instance)#anyways my morning was shit and now I have extra laundry to try and fit in before work and oh yeah I still have work today too#it's file tho so just taking down and putting up tags#and I'm off tomorrow so I can stay in bed most of the day and not have to deal with bullshit#I need to yeet the uterus... I can't keep doing this... I shouldn't wake up to messes this bad multiple times a year#I can't say monthly bc I don't always bleed monthly#and my husband and I have talked and there's some decisions we have to make#he said he'll support me and he understands that this isn't normal or okay#and he told me he only wanted to do pregnancy bc I wanted to do pregnancy and idk anymore y'all. I don't know...#is keeping my uterus for another potentially five years worth it? I know the answer is no#god I fucking hate this can someone please just rip it out for me and save me the decision making? pretty please?#personal
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for months i genuinely wholeheartedly could not tell the 911 guys apart and this is so important for me to stress bc throughout my life i have prided myself on being able to tell twins apart really easily and liking being that person to connect faces to other things ive watched or honestly just seen in passing like i could track down a random commercial actress and shit and i mean i suppose part of that is not knowing their characters and they just twin all the time but i apologize still im aware that mans last name is diaz and now i feel like im sitting here laid up @ all the tumblr lesbians like haha damn so thats buck x eddie? that said idk if im like happy i know any of this.
#but it’s chill it feels like a good part of the tumblr ecosystem most of the time i’m like just there enough to be like yuppp i know that#guy. sometimes u talk abt them and im like i just don’t know if its that crazy. then u say some other stuff and i’m like ok that is lowkey#crazy but still i think even if i ever watched it. which i dont rlly plan on. but if it happened i think id have to move in silence#oh god a skunk went off right outside my window man 🙄😒😒😒😒😒😔 anywayzuh i don’t think i need to contribute to any of these conversations but#god knows i love to jump on anything to give my thoughts. so. we shallnt#abby talks#and well u know i’m sorry i think u have to know i’m on a fragile branch (my way of saying thin ice obnoxiously)#when it comes to any of these shows. let alone these circumstances. like u have to know i’m looking any going hmm… is this really just some#guy tho. bc like many such cases. it feels good to know it’s a lot of dykes but like when is the last time everyone flocked to a character#as such. i’m blanking. it certainly can’t be unprecendented.#what are u SAYING bro 🤣😎‼️😭#ok woah this is so terrible im hungry i dont want to go downstairs and make food come back up and have to go down and brush my teeth again#but i don’t think i have anything up hereeee… and either way it smells of a skunk fucking everywhereeee. i say from the place ive been#sitting the past 15 minutes. in my bed <3#i feel like i’m confessing my sins#but what i was getting at is there’s certainly something there. compels me#who said that president snow or smth
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...
#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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My coworker trying to set me up with any man that comes in is absolutely hilarious.
Was the technician cute? Yeah kinda. But he also turned out to have a wife and a 19 year old child so my initial “ah he’s a technician and therefore and expert and therefore probably way too old for me” was absolutely correct.
Also one of our coworkers but while he’s cute he smokes which is an instant dealbreaker. Like if I come in when he’s smoking I have to hold my breath through my mask it’s so fucking bad. (This goes for everyone that smokes outside the entry door but. Anyway)
#she’s. yeah. I’m not bringing up that I’m queer. she’d probably be ok bc she knows a coworker has a boyfriend but. I don’t want to.#shatters’ fragments#shatters’ nonexistent love life#and again. I’m not going to try to build a life with you if I don’t generally feel safe with you#and most people don’t wear masks anymore#so I’d never really feel safe with them#and this is kinda huge for like. boundaries I enforce and revelations#bc I’d rather be lonely than six feet under now#whereas before if you promised to say you love me I’d let you do anything to me#which. I know. is Bad#and it’s all still hypothetical bc I haven’t fucking dated anyone#and still flip flop on if I even want to (the yearning says yes. the mind says uh. no wtf not right now at the very least)#bc the physical touch I yearn for is. again. literally. a cuddly cat would be perfect fuck people I don’t need them.#and if it’s sex (which I am also unsure I want bc texturally it’s a nightmare for me) I have toys#like yeah maybe my bar is on the floor ‘wears a mask and is nice’#but also my willingness to use some Time that I could be doing literally anything else (art/friends/etc) to be now put aside for a romance??#UNSURE#sure it would be easier if someone else finds someone for me. but do I even want that?#(visions of being snug in the middle both being spooned and spooning another dance in my head.)#(but toss a heat bag over my waist and nestle myself between two giant stuffies and it’s close enough on my twin bed anyway)#hmm. could always say If You Want Any Chance At Grandkids You Have To Pay For My Therapy but. hmmm (I’m still owed therapy bc I said so)#(they took it as a joke when I said if they went with that option they’d owe me therapy for it though)#bc fuck bodily autonomy of children amiright 😭#I used to have crushes that I would TRY so hard for. but currently I just? don’t. well.#maybe that one couple that has come to both my workplaces as customers were nice THEYRE CUTE and they wear masks. for them I’d try probably#but there’s literally no reason to assume they’d ever want me. or that they’re polyamorous. or that they’re open. or anything.#but I very much enjoy seeing them around town every time I do :)#I always prefer to be enamoured with characters instead. it’s safe bc it’s not real. (I don’t want to examine that rn)#I’ll probably turn right around and change my mind and have a crush on my Sailing Guy again next time I see him but. alas. he’s wonderful#idk idk. I should. I should get up and have food
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ripping hair out, screaming, crying, etc.
#i type as i sit calmly behind my laptop#tried to schedule an appointment with a new dentist and hung up on the receptionist#they weren't scheduling until 5 fucking months out for a fucking dental cleaning#and then when i said 'i think i have a cavity what if i need to come in before then' the receptionist was like 'idk lol'#and then when i went to schedule the appointment and told her my insurance she was like 'we don't take that'#EVEN THOUGH IT'S LISTED ON THEIR WEBSITE AND MY INSURANCE WEBSITE INDICATES THAT THEY DO#so i just said “forget it. thanks.” and hung up lol#i feel kinda bad but it was also satisfying in the moment#anyway. kinda wanna cry and lay in bed forever
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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I'm so mad about the four hours of sleep. I have this fic I'm so excited to write that I can't sleep which means that I can't write it. Brain. Please.
#I've got 3k down for today but I don't know if any of it made sense#I also think I got hit with the worst amnesia between here and then because#I genuinely cannot remember anything that happened today#all of it is a fucking blur I got up sometime after being in bed for hours#no idea what happened after AT ALL#also just the fact that the in bed for hours happened after a nap#but no idea how long the nap took or ANY of what happened before it#knowing we woke up at like 2am? then went back to bed around 10am?#but NOTHING about what happened between said 2am and 10am.#DID is a fucking trip and a half and please can we put one solid fronter in the seat again so that our memory isn't like this.
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hi my week away was nice did u miss my stupid ass
#🍊.txt#boy this week was dumb#i did an extra shift and got hit on my a patient and he asked for my number and all this shit#obvs didnt give it hes a troubled man but#i was so close to getting him to call me max#he could never remember my 'dead' name so i said OH MY FRIENDS CALL ME MAX :)#but he went with fucking 'jim' bc id told him about how one patient just couldnt stop calling me jim#so this dude either called me jim or 'trouble' which ends up being the word used to describe me anyway bc#i get up to so much fucking mischief#trouble = endearing term for someone who gets up to no good in a fun way#anyway my bod is broken now from working extra#i collapsed into bed this morning idk how i managed a shower after work#i wanna revamp my blog this weekend too#idk if im gonna use my oc blog any more but we'll see how it goes
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Can my brain stop fucking forgetting where I put things???
It's been like a month since I last saw my meds that I REALLY NEED but I don't want to waste a refill and be short a month. I finally was able to refill it for Dec/Jan and god I cannot wait to not be in agony anymore. Like I have been praying, crying, thrashing (that's more a physical symptom of nerve pain), wanting to scream, losing sleep, FOR WEEKS.
I cannot fucking remember what I did with it. It's just a blank. I have a visual memory and can remember specific shit accurately (as accurately as memories as a whole are) BUT NOT THIS
I now have lost my ipod touch... my beloved 🥺 that's where my stories are (that I wrote), that's where my music is, where my games are (okay like 3 games now that ios is updating and god forbid we get another ipt). That's where my pictures of Bean are, and I need them to post reruns on his account to keep it active sgdgdggdgd That's another story
Anyway I lost it when I changed my sheets and it's not downstairs in the laundry (shook out the blankets). It's not behind the bed, not around it, not in my usual spot. BUT most importantly... I cannot fucking even conjure up a vague memory of when I last saw it. 😠 at all. Like my meds it's in my room SOMEWHERE
And ofc bc I have been off my nerve medicine for a full month, I am so fucking drained that I don't have energy to fucking deep clean and look for these things better/more
I'm so fucking sick of this shit
#marquilla#im so tired#especially today bc i woke up at 12 with the worst back pain like very sharp achy pain and ofc then my nerves acted up so im like writhing#on the bed trying to think of what i can take to make this pain stop. i took advil/tylenol. a pepcid. and 2 rls homeopathic pills.#i was literally crying it was so painful and Finally it subsided enough for me to sleep... at 2am... i fell asleep and had a full dream in#that blissful hour i slept 🙃#i really considered calling off work today man. but im only working like 12hrs so i figured it would be better overall if i went and work#went well - i recovered everything but the licensed shit area bc it wasnt super bad and i didnt care enough sgdgdggd so i had 10 min before#my break left so i did the HEAVY coats for RC and she looked so relieved when i said that (one less thing for her to do) so 🤙#oh and i figured out that that pain was most likely from all the cherrios ive been eating that have been causing me gi issues#but i dont have anything else i wanna eat at 3am before work so.... i just kept eating them regardless sgdggddgdgdgd it was hell#anyway i ate them and i got that horrible pain in my stomach and back and went '...ah' sgdgdggd like hmm probably that#could also be wheat! could be both together! bc fuck me thats why
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