#all of it is a fucking blur I got up sometime after being in bed for hours

[inseparabiles]

I'm so mad about the four hours of sleep. I have this fic I'm so excited to write that I can't sleep which means that I can't write it. Brain. Please.

[rhys-writes-some-shit]

Cuddles

Alastor x Reader (QP)

You were always respectful of the fact that Alastor didn't like physical touch that he didn't initiate. You never asked why, never tried to force him otherwise, never even considered trying to touch him without his consent. This remained true for all the years you'd known him.

But sometimes it got really fucking difficult.

After a long day of work, then chores, then helping with the hotel, you were absolutely exhausted. And you still had dinner to look forward to. As much as you loved Al, his need for dinner formality really got on your nerves sometimes. At least the food was good.

Luckily, there was a little time where you could escape to your room. Closing the door behind you, you kicked off your shoes and dramatically collapsed onto the bed. As soon as your body hit the mattress, you wanted to stay there for the rest of eternity.

But that wasn't an option.

Groaning, you decided it wouldn't hurt to close your eyes for a moment. Besides, Alastor would want you to be lucid for dinner. Closing your eyes for a second would help.

"Ah, there you are." Distantly, you heard Alastor poke his head in the room. "I would like your input on supper, if you don't mind."

Unable to muster words, you made some unintelligible noises into the bed, curling up more with the blankets. Alastor's footsteps were muffled by the carpet, so you didn't know he was standing right next to you until he spoke.

"Seriously, darling, it is much too early to be sleeping. Don't be so dramatic."

A hand fell on your shoulder, probably to try and take the blankets off you. However, in your half-awake stupor, you shifted to grab the hand, pulling it towards you in an effort to pull some comfort out of it.

Your brain didn't compute what you'd just done for a full 30 seconds, until, suddenly, it hit you. Despite your exhaustion, you immediately let go of Alastor's hand and jerked to a sitting position.

"Al, I'm so, so sorry," you said, your voice sounding more tired than anything else. You ignored the way your eyes kept trying to close, Alastor's figure being nothing more than a red blur in front of you. "I didn't mean to. Give me a minute, I'll be down to help."

Alastor hummed, the contemplative hum you've learned to differentiate over time. Vaguely, you were aware that Alastor's smile softened a bit.

"I can spare ten minutes," Alastor finally said. "Move over, if you please."

You stared at him, blinking tiredly, struggling to understand what was happening.

Expectantly, Alastor motioned to the bed. "Nine minutes and thirty-five seconds."

Then it kicked in. Hastily, you moved over to the other side of them bed, giving enough room for Alastor to sit down with his back against the headboard.

Blankets curled around your shoulders, you sat there, hesitating.

"You may." Alastor answered the unspoken question. "For eight minutes and fifty-two seconds."

It was impossible to deny the smile that grew on your face as you crawled into Alastor's lap, resting your head on his chest and closing your eyes. Gently, Alastor wrapped his arms around you, holding you.

Wrapped in blankets, leaning into Alastor's solid body, the darkness behind your eyelids enveloped you. It felt like you were floating, just your and Alastor, and nothing could ever harm you ever again. As long as you kept your breathing steady, everything would be okay.

Everything would be okay.

You were right; just closing your eyes for a few minutes helped immensely. It was even better that it was spent with one of your favorite people in all of Hell. And if Alastor "accidentally" forgot to keep track of the time, extending your cuddle for an extra two minutes, you weren't going to say anything.

[fernandopiastri28]

you love me (i really do) ~ lando norris

~ part 1 ~

warnings: drinking, angst

Everything came back to her now about that night in a flash, the night Lando got a podium in Singapore. It had seemed like a blur in the moment, since the celebration had been so quickly swallowed up by endless shots, blaring music, too much touching, and the way Lando’s touch felt hot and heavy all over her.

He’d wanted to celebrate it, that’s obviously why he was crazy drunk- his eyes bright with the sort of excitement only a champion had. He’d been so happy, soaking up every moment of attention that blared on him. Sure, Carlos had won the race, but Lando had been enjoying each second like he was the one taking home the first place trophy.  

The photos and videos seemed endless. There was him getting out of the car, his toothy grin, the way his face lit up in pride as he raised the trophy high above his head. Each scroll past the photos felt like more of her restraint being chipped away at her body.

Her situation had become so direly drastic to the one she’d found herself deep within only a matter of hours ago. Her surroundings went from the blinding neon lights of the club, to the sudden dim shade as her head remained buried under layers of thick blankets. Her neck craned at an uncomfortable angle to look at her phone screen as her thumb idly swiped through twitter. It seemed like a bad dream, a bad hangover at that- all regret with all good memories just narrowly out of reach.

Seemingly, the whole platform had been going crazy over the ‘CarLando’ podium. The memory of seeing it first hand was beyond hazy for her, but seeing the photos now- it must’ve been the best of his career. Standing on the second step next to his best friend, champagne coated his face in a glimmering sheen under the luminous night light celebrations. 

Each new piece of media that appeared on her timeline caused her resolve to falter slightly more, being steadily replaced with the desire to bombard his phone with strings of apology texts. She shouldn’t have walked out on him, she shouldn’t have left without an apology, she shouldn't have ignored the three times he’d tried to call her presumably just after he’d woken up in an empty bed.

But she also shouldn’t have slept with him.

He was her best friend and not even a day ago, he was on top of her, all over her, inside her. Who’s to say when he did it with her would’ve been different? It was likely the exact same as every other time for him- have a good race (sometimes even if it had been a shitty one), get drinks, wait for a flock of attention from girls, give the most basic of compliments, ‘ you have beautiful eyes,’, ‘you’re fucking gorgeous in that dress,’, and wait for them to fall to their knees for him- literally.

Maybe it would wash over, maybe he’d be fine by the Japanese grand prix, Qatar at the least. He’d be fine, he always was. He somehow managed to consistently pick himself back up after each bad race, getting over a one night stand would be much easier than that.

Right?

Japan was the race directly after Singapore, and she didn’t attend. Lando wasn’t going to miss her, she’s pretty sure of that. After the initial few calls he’d attempted to make to her the morning she left him in the hotel, he’d gone seemingly radio silent. He was posting regularly on instagram, liking stupidly immature tweets, even hinting towards big upcoming projects for quadrant. He was.. normal. Unaffected clearly.

She took a flight to Australia, reckoning it was just about the safest place she could escape from Lando. The Australian grand prix was way back at the beginning of the year, and unlike his teammate, this wasn’t even his home, and he had no reason to go there.

She could camp out here for as long as she pleased- or at least until the middle of march when the 2024 Australian grand prix would be taking place. From the 24 of september until the 20 of march (give or take a few days), she had just about 6 months to sort herself the fuck up with him, or just escape somewhere else.

Trying to ignore all the information and blast of new media as the Qatar grand prix approached was near unignorable. McLaren was clearly confident about the track, and they believed that even under the unideal conditions of the track and the surrounding environment, that the cars were designed to fit each aspect of the Lusail Circuit.

And she wasn’t necessarily purposefully ignoring anything Lando related- in actuality she sometimes found her fingers hovering over a new interview of his. It was refreshing to see him happy, looking a whole lot better than she’d been feeling the last few days. So when her calendar pings as a reminder that qualifying was happening at 7 am, despite the stupid hour she’d need to be awake for it- she watched it anyways. 

Lando narrowly ended in 10th after his lap times were deleted. Oscar suffered the same fate, but still had the advantage of being 3 places ahead of his senior teammate for the sprint shootout. Unfortunately he suffered again in the sprint shootout, Oscar starting in pole position while he came narrowly behind in second. Considerably an impressive feat, but for someone who wasn’t satisfied if he was not very first- Lando couldn’t have seemed more disappointed.

The sprint was worse for him afterwards, dropping from 1st to 2nd as Max took his spot. Oscar retained his pole, keeping his pace throughout the whole race to eventually take home his first win (even if ‘ it wasn’t a real race’) as a rookie. Lando, once again, was not thrilled. After being in the sport for 5 years, he was still chasing the high that would accompany a win.

On the day of the actual race, Lando performed only slightly worse than Oscar- the two of them securing the second ‘McPodium’ of the season with Oscar on the second step and Lando in third. Beneath the sheer exhaustion, near matching grins spreaded across both of their faces as they proudly held up their trophies. There was no doubt that Lando would every let the fact that his rookie teammate got win before he did- that much was evident in all the post race interviews. 

There were certainly moments where she contemplated sending him a message, congratulating him on another podium to add to his collection. It did feel wrong though, appearing again out of nowhere when he achieved something notable. She didn’t want to come across that she’d only be there for him when he was successful. In actuality, she really just wanted to be back in his life. Surely a week without contact wouldn’t end the multi-year friendship they had.

But after all, a lot can happen in one night. Maybe Lando would gradually just turn into a distant memory of hers- somebody that she once knew.

At COTA, Lando secured his fourth podium in a row. He’d gotten 2nd in Singapore, 2nd in Japan, 3rd in Qatar, and back up to 2nd in America. This time, Oscar doesn’t join him on the podium, Lewis does instead. Two multi world champions- one a recent 3 time champion, the other with 7 titles- and Lando right there next to them. He’d be next, she was sure he would be.

It’s quite the sight, the three men stood up on their respective steps. Lewis- the past of formula one. The man who ruled the sport for years, taking home win after win. Only challenged by the very race winner of Max Verstappen. He was the face of formula one for the time being, and likely could be for the following few years. There were only a few talents in the sport who had the potential to fight Max for those future titles- and Lando was certainly one of them. He had a good car, a teammate who could challenge and push him to be a better driver, he had the determination- the drive to win.

Mexico wasn’t anything to write home about. She tried to not watch it, getting an icky feeling each time she saw Lando on screen because the only place her mind would go to was how sweet his mouth tasted. It seemed that the only thoughts that would flood her brain each time she saw anything related to him, her body went into a sort of remembering state when all she could think about was how she’d felt that night. He ended in 5th, so maybe she should’ve just not watched the race. His face was hardly shown beyond a clip of him just before getting onto the car, and then in the post race interviews. At least she didn’t stay up all night thinking about it.

Brazil on the other hand was a race worth watching- Max in 1st, Lando in 2nd, Fernando in 3rd. The gap between Alonso and Norris is insane, especially given Fernando was a 2 time world champion with more than 20 years of experience. He’d be next, she knew it. He’ll be a world champion soon, and her only wish was that she’d be smart enough and brave enough to reach out with congratulations. She also hoped that he’d be happy to receive one from her.

Notably the worst race of the season is Las Vegas, given that Lando crashed on Lap 3. He slammed straight into a barrier, his car almost flinging backward with the power of hitting a wall at 180mph. It was the only race she didn’t want, but hearing about it afterwards sent a cold sweat down her back. A sharp inhale filled her lungs and her hand stayed attached over her gaping mouth. She didn’t check how bad the crash was initially, and wad glad when she heard he was out without any injuries.

Finally, the season finale in Abu Dhabi occurred. After such an intense season (that she’d shamefully tuned in for more than she would’ve liked to admit post Singapore), it was almost a relief when the race ended, because of the realisation that she wouldn’t have to hear about Lando for a few months, until preseason testing at least. 

With the slight friendship (and possibly to be further blossoming) she’d managed to accumulate with Oscar, she’d found out the Brit was basically doing a world tour over the winter holiday. Places such as Bali and Vietnam, then all the way over to Finland- or an adjacent. She’d be safe, the only two drivers who would be in the same continent as her would be the two actual Australian drivers- Liam in New Zealand if he counted in the f1 drivers realm.

So she took the few weeks she had off of work- which wasn’t ever really solid as it seemed her career was all over the place, she took those solid-off holiday weeks to venture out to familiarise herself better with Australia. Sydney- she knew well, Brisbane maybe even more so. Melbourne the most due to attending the grand prix there every year for the past 6 seasons. But in all her time spent in Australia, she’d never truly gotten around to exploring Western Australia.

So she did what any right minded person visiting Perth who had connections to F1 would do- she reached out to Daniel and asked for any recommendations for her holiday. But instead of simply giving her a list of places to eat, shops to visit, sights to see, he straight up invites her to spend a week at his farm.

Yep, Daniel Ricciardo, farm owner.

Obviously, she accepted the invitation due to lack of other plans and pure interest about what a f1 driver of over a decade could possibly need a farm for. So the next day, her legs awkwardly cramped up in between her suitcase and the back of the passenger seat in the taxi. Her fingers idly drummed against the window as sparse pellets of rain hit against it. The sun blared down through the glass despite the rain- clearly a perth summer was no joke when it came to heat.

The timing of the car finally slowing down just in front of Daniel’s farm/house/home situation perfectly aligned for when her phone died. Manoeuvring her feet out of the tight squeeze where her suitcase was crushing her legs was her first problem, actually picking it up to carry out of the car was a whole different one. Once again, luckily for her Daniel was standing at the door, his signature grin lighting up his face. 

After a tight hug and a quick exchange of the past few months they hadn’t seen each other for (the time post SIngapore), he picked up her suitcase with ease and lugged it inside. The inside of his house was nice, beautiful even. That was expected for a millionaire- but it wasn’t the typical too much money, not enough actual taste , it was classy and elegant, while maintaining a certain homely charm.

“This is beautiful, Dan,” She murmured, shaking her head back as she gathered her hair into a ponytail. He barked out a laugh as he kicked off his shoes, 2 scuff marks on the ground ruining the otherwise picturesque place. 

“Thank you,” He grinned, “I try my best- or more so Heidi does,” Ah, that made more sense. Not that Daniel didn’t seem capable of designing a nice place, but the fact that it was actually his girlfriend made a whole lot more sense. 

Nudging her shoes off and over to join next to his, she gently stretched out her limp to relieve the formed tension in her back, “Heidi does a fantastic job then,” Her eyes travelled around the living room, taking in each piece of wall art and decorative choice.

Daniel’s dirtied socks glided smoothly along the marble floors, “Can I get you a drink?” He hummed, one hand on the kitchen island to steady himself as the other opened the fridge door. He grabbed out a beer can for himself and so out of pure convenience and not wanting to seem ‘fussy’, she asked for the same.

The harsh, bitter taste of beer abused her throat, an unpleasant and unwelcome decision at only 3 in the afternoon. On the other hand, getting her first drink down then meant that as the night progressed further, and drinks got heavier- she’d be somewhat prepared from such a light percentage drink. 

The rest of the evening was spent outside on the balcony, sipping beer and discussing the end of the season- how it had felt to get back to racing for him since the last race she’d actually seen in person was in Singapore where he’d been replaced with Liam. 

They spoke briefly about Liam at that, Max too- mainly his dominance that season, partially about him as a person in general. They moved to speaking about Oscar’s rookie year, and then unsurprisingly, the topic landed onto Lando.

Finally, in the last hour before midnight, with her legs tucked up to her chest, she looked to her left where Daniel was in a rocking chair next to her. “I hooked up with Lando in Singapore,” She murmured, her index nail scraping along the condensation lined glass where only the last few drops of her whiskey-coke remained. “We hooked up and then I just left him there,” Daniel’s eyebrows shot up, his lips parting in shock.

“I knew that,” He eventually exhaled, his words completely different from his surprised reaction. “LN told me pretty much the day after it happened, and for the following weeks too,” Shit, that felt awful to hear. Part of her had wished that Lando had magically stopped caring the day after it had happened- she wanted it to be easy on him unlike how it was for her. It was her decision to have left, he shouldn’t have to continue to feel so deeply affected.

The wrinkles in the corners of her eyes deepened as she looked down, a comical laugh escaping her lips. “Why’d you react like that then?” Her lips feel cold as her throat remains hot from the intense burn of the vodka shots they’d stupidly taken a few hours prior. “You looked.. shocked,”

“I was,” He admitted, downing the last of his drink before resting it on the corner of his armrest, the corner of the glass hitting the wood with a clink. “ I am , I’m shocked you’re actually admitting you just abandoned the bloke after a night together. He thought you would never mention it again- never speak to him again,”

The edge of passive aggression in his voice is noticeable even to the most clueless people. It made her squirm in her seat, the palms of her hands get sweaty, and a bitter taste filled her mouth. Daniel wasn’t the type to ever get mad with anyone, or even be any bit confrontational, so the way he was speaking to her seemed so out of Ricciardo fashion.

“I know,” Her voice was barely a low hum, self disappointment pulsing through her body. “I’ve felt like shit ever since- if that means anything,” When her eyes lifted off the wood panel of the balcony fence and towards Daniel, he was looking far out towards the night sky. 

His gaze met hers though, his bottom lip grazing under his teeth. It was strange seeing him that serious. “Doesn’t really mean too much to me, I think Lando needs to hear that,” Yeah , apologising to Daniel wasn’t going to do much was it? Lando was the one she’d left.

“He actually cares?” Her voice came out more surprised and untrusting than she’d expected. The scrunch of his eyebrows and twist of his lips in confusion gets her to keep talking. “Yeah, like.. I guess I just assumed it would be just like any other hook up for him,” Her hand carded through her hair, pushing it off her forehead. 

“He cares more than anything,” Daniel murmured, a slight laugh attached to his voice. He wasn’t mad at her at all, fully understanding her scepticism about how real the younger driver’s feelings were. “I know he doesn’t seem as if he cares about each girl he gets with- but he cares about you,” Their eyes meet in a sort of sad and poetic way. 

Daniel knows better than anyone the way she feels toward Lando, how she’s felt towards the Brit for years. Up until that night in Singapore, she’d waited for the day she could look at her best friend and not feel the most excruciating twisting in her stomach and cracking of her heart because he was the one thing she wanted, and the one thing she couldn’t have.

“In Vegas when he crashed, he asked for you,” The Aussie's voice had lost its humour, any sense of fun from earlier in the night having fully faded away. “So many times. He was hysterical, couldn’t understand why you weren’t there to hold his hand,” 

Holy fucking shit. She wanted to cry, a tightening sensation formed in her throat, becoming painful to swallow. “I should’ve been there,” She bit down on the inside of her cheek, the sharp metallic taste of blood spilling onto her tongue. “I fucking should’ve reached out when I heard,” 

He squeezed her hand tightly, his thumb squishing her hand up to reach the tips of his index and middle. “You had no way to know, you weren’t expected to be there either. You have your own life, Lando needs to know that,” She can’t shake it from her head though. “You’re not in the wrong, you don’t owe him to be there whenever he needs comfort. I think he just needs to know you’re not angry at him,”

Angry? Why on earth would she be angry? Lando hadn’t done a single thing wrong to her, she did owe it to him to be there when he crashed, when he was scared and alone. “Yes I do,” Her eyebrows drew to a pinch, a look of frustration clouding over her vulnerable near crying expression.

“ You don’t”

I do, Daniel. You don’t get it. I left him, I left him there alone straight after-

“He told me he loved me,” 

That got a genuine look of shock from the Australian. “Shit. I didn’t know that,” His voice got breathy and harsh around the edges. 

“Yeah.”

“Do you love him back?”

“Yeah.”

His hand left hers, moving to rub over his face. “Jesus,” It was so quiet between them that the noise of the near midnight light breeze was louder than either of them. “Does he know that?”

The muscles in her neck tensed with a deep swallow of the spit gathering in her mouth. Gross. “No. I don’t think he knows I heard him either,” She’d never felt more shameful. Her mind had been so fuzzy with alcohol and lust that it had just been too much. “I didn’t think he was serious. I didn’t think he could seriously love me,”

God, she needed to shut up before she began bawling her eyes out to Daniel.

“Why not?” She didn’t quite know how to answer his question. There were probably a million and one things she could give as half arsed replies to why she didn’t believe she and Lando should be together. The distance, constant travelling, lack of affection and physical ties. But Daniel could see right through her, he could see her lies.

“I’m just nothing like the girls he’s been with before. I didn’t- I don’t understand why when he could have absolutely anyone in the world, he’d want me,” She corrected herself, feeling far more vulnerable then she’d ever allowed herself to be in front of anyone before.

They’re no longer looking at each other, both too focused at staring up at the stars above them. “You make him feel safe. You’re the only one he’s always felt like a real person around. He’s not a race car driver with you, he’s not famous with you, he doesn’t have to perform and impress you, to you- he’s Lando, he’s your best friend. And to him, you’re home,” 

It’s difficult to form a single thought after that. So after the conversation pulled to a complete close, they both agreed it was late and they needed their rest. With a suffocating hug and reassurances that she’ll be okay, they parted ways- Daniel into his own room and her into the spare bedroom. His snores seeped into her room, yet they weren’t what kept her from sleeping. 

Lando was. 

She swore she could hear him everywhere, even smell him. She wanted him laying down right next to her, his arms around her waist as she slept with her head on his chest. He was the only thing that could calm her down, make her mind shut up for a bit so she could just rest.

Her head had begun pounding and her mouth became infinitely dry from the excessive drinking, so with a struggle to stand up straight, she headed downstairs to the kitchen. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness and her clammy hands gripped onto the handrails as she took each step one by one. 

Passing through the kitchen, she grabbed a glass out of a cabinet and poured a glass of cold water. She chugged it down eagerly, getting a refill before heading into the living room to sit on the couch and drink the rest. As the couch became visible to her poor sight, she saw a figure sitting at the end further away from her. A mop of curly hair was on top of the figure’s head- Daniel. 

Clearly he’d been unable to sleep like she had. Maybe he felt lonely too. Heidi was back in Portugal over the winter break, so he hadn’t seen her in a few weeks. He was probably in a similar boat as her right now.

She felt so empty after the past few weeks, and the hug she’d gotten from him only a few hours hadn’t quite been enough, so she set her glass down and stepped closer. The noise of her glass hitting the table grabbed the shadowed figure of Daniel’s attention, his head turning to face her. “Daniel,” She mumbled weakly, sprawling onto the couch next to where he was sitting and wrapped her arms loosely around him.

When he didn’t hug her back, she whined and dug her head into his chest. “Please Dan, I need a hug,” Her voice sounded so desperate as it hit her ears. “I just.. I want my brain to shut up for once, I- I’m just so tired,” 

“I’m not Daniel,” Her heart pounded in absolute panic. Her chest rose and dropped quickly as she attempted to think of all the possible explanations. This couldn’t be real, this couldn’t be an intruder. God, how had she been so stupid as to not switch on a light or anything before practically hurdling herself at this guy? If she died right now, it was all on her for being a thoughtless idiot. 

But in a moment of clarity where her mind considered who could possibly be at the house that wasn’t an intruder, she scanned through each person Daniel knew with curly hair and a British accent. Lewis? Didn't have curly hair. George? Also without curly hair. Ollie? Too young for Daniel to be friends with. 

Oh. 

“Lando?” A sharp exhale left her mouth as his name slipped out. She twisted her head to look up at him, his features only slightly visible in the near pitch black room. Sure enough, big green eyes and plump pink lips stood out to her. Her face crumpled, her heart thrumming in her chest. “ Lando”

He clearly had recognised her too, his lips parting as his expression softened. His eyes felt like a million knives jabbing into her, his intense stare mapping out her whole face. The smell of his cologne was harsh on her senses, yet was the most comfort she’d had in months.

“Why are you here?” Her tone sounded accusatory, which clearly wasn’t intentional. The comment landed poorly, his expression contorting strangely. Not helpful . 

“Spontaneous Australia trip,” He didn’t owe her an apology, but something was nagging at him to stay, to engage in the conversation. It was the most he’d seen of her in nearly 4 months. He couldn’t even begin to express how good it felt to hear her voice after so long. “Came to visit Dan, maybe Osc next. Dan always tells me if I’m ever in the country I can just come over.. so” He trailed off when she didn’t reply, and his mouth clamped back shut.

Just as it seemed he would get up and leave, his actions tense and rigid around her, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Quiet. Her mind finally went quiet. It was so peaceful for once. “I’m so sorry for everything,” Her voice was hardly a whisper, her mouth slightly muffled by the thick fabric of his hoodie. “I’m sorry for leaving, I’m sorry for not contacting you, I’m sorry for ignoring you when you tried to call,” Her breaths became more frantic, tears piling up in her eyes as she looked up at him.

“I’m sorry for- for hurting you, I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me,” Her mouth and lips were so painfully dry, her tongue darted out to wet her lips before forcing out the final apology. Just as she was about to, his mouth opened as if he was about to talk. “Don’t say it’s okay,” 

She knew him well enough to know exactly where he was going. He would apologise for absolutely everything that had ever happened to him, even if he wasn’t the one in the wrong. “Most of all,” Her throat tensed as he stared her down intensely. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you back.” 

His lips shaped into a huge smile after a few seconds of emotionless shock, as if the news was the most impossible thing he’d ever heard.

“And you shouldn’t forgive me,” She shook her head insistently. That was another thing hse knew about him, he was the most forgiving person ever. She could absolutely ruin his life a million times and with a single ‘ I’m sorry’ , they’d return back to being best friends. 

“But-”

“You can’t,” Not only did she not believe she deserved his love, she didn’t believe she deserved any sort of forgiveness from him, much less for him to still love her after all this. All she wanted was for him to not have any hurt from the whole ordeal anymore. 

Lando tilted his head, his bottom lip tucked under his adorably gapped teeth. “You don’t get to decide that for me,” His eyes seemed impossibly bright despite the darkness, “Cause I want to love you, and it seems as if you love me too,” His right hand cupped her cheek, his thumb rubbing over her chin.

That was correct, she still loved him more than anything. She could fight those feelings away, give him all the excuses under the sun as to why she wouldn’t be with him- but her heart and mind wanted different things. Logically, dating a formula one driver who’s whole life revolved around travel and constant adrenaline- her life that consisted of a lot of mundane jobs and chilling at home, they just clashed .

The illogical part of her, the part that was thinking with her heart, believed that nothing would be better than to attend races, watch from the grandstands, and kiss him after each race. She could comfort him if he had a bad race or quali, she could be there to celebrate with after a podium or even a win. 

Right now, and maybe always, what her heart wanted was significantly outweighing what she thought was good for her. “Yeah, I do love you,” It didn’t feel or sound weird like it had when she’d told Daniel about it the night before. It felt good, really good. Very right too, because in all of her years of friendship with Lando- ever since she’d realised her feelings for him- she hadn’t ever admitted to herself that she loved him. 

But of course she did, it was clear as day. If she ever heard of anyone ‘liking’ someone the way she ‘liked’ Lando, she’d know immediately it was love.

Her confession felt even better when she saw how his face managed to light up even further. 

There was more she could’ve apologised for, and she could easily keep going, but she was quickly shut up with two lips pressed up against her own. Lando tasted just as sweet as he always did, a tinge of mint presumably from gum earlier on. 

Her lips didn’t adjust into the kiss at first, until he began to pull back and her lips secured over his bottom one, keeping him there. It took a few moments to warm up to it, but her mouth starts moving in time with his. It’s so quiet in the living room that the only noise is the quiet hums and sighs they both let out. “I’m really sorry,” She murmured again

His hands moved to position her body to be straddling him, not necessarily to make the kiss sexual, but to make the angle more comfortable. “I forgive you,” His teeth tug on her bottom lip, drawing out the kiss for longer. He grinned against her lips, kissing her softer over and over. “And I love you,” He murmured again. “So- please- stop- apologising,” He kissed her in between each word, trying to push forward his point.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders, “Okay,” Her cheeks felt hot to the touch, painted a darker shade of rosy red with each kiss. “Sorry,”

Lando groaned, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her in for more kisses. “For each time you apologise, I’m gonna shut you up with kisses,” He threatened, nudging her cheek with his nose.

“Sorry, but I’m gonna keep saying sorry then. Sorry, sorry, sorry” He kept his promise, kissing her after each and every apology. “Mmm, yeah. Sorry,” Her fingers slid into place in his mess of curls, tugging gently to keep him in place for each kiss. 

“Bad idea.” He clicked his tongue, tilting his head to avoid her kisses. “No kisses till you stop saying it,”

That worked. 

“Okay, I’ll stop. I promise,” She held out her pinky finger to further the promise. He kissed the tip of her finger and then held it tight. 

“Good,”

“Good,”

“ Good ,” His lips slotted back into place with hers, his hands resting on her hips as hers tangled further into his hair. “You’re so pretty,” He hummed, licking into her mouth with slow and calculated moves.

“Hmm, you’re prettier,” Her whole body felt hot, but so cosy on top of him. She hadn’t quite realised how tired she was until that very moment, her words slightly slurred and her eyes heavy. She rubbed at her eyes, blinking away exhaustion.

He shifted underneath her, tucking his hands under her thighs to help wrap her legs around his waist. “Arms around my neck,” He whispered, intentionally keeping his volume to a minimum so as to not wake her up more. 

Her body felt limp as she rested all her weight onto him. He lugged her upstairs, opening the door with one hand as his other arm remained around her waist. “Lannnn,” She whined as she pressed more kisses to his neck. 

“Yeah baby?” He murmured as he laid her down on the bed, her body heavy and weak as it hit the mattress. “What’s up?” Her arms dropped down to her sides as they unlinked from around his neck.

“Stay,” It wasn’t a suggestion or question, more an incredulously desperate request. “Please, want you to stay,” She tugged at the hem of his shirt, wrapping it around her fingers.

He gave her a knowing look before nudging her over in the bed, crawling under the sheets next to her. “You’re not going to walk out this time?” He raised his eyebrows, his teeth poking out over his bottom lip when he grinned.

“I’m gonna say it,”

“Don’t” His voice went serious.

“I’m gonna say it,”

“Do.. not.. say.. It,”

“..Sorry,”

Lando let out a long groan, hauling himself half on top of her to smother her with his arms. “You are such a pain in my ass,” 

“You love me,” She pecked him, fighting back sleep just so she could keep kissing him

“I do love you,” He caved and removed his arms, placing them on either side of her face to corner her and kiss all over her flushed face.

“I love you more,” 

“Not possible,” He tutted, “And you need to sleep- now,” He nuzzled into her neck, his nose bumping against her ear. 

“I just wanna stay up kissing,” She scrunched her nose up, her lip raising in disappointment. 

Lando’s laugh was breathy against her skin, his hand idly swiping across her stomach to maintain some sort of touch. “Tomorrow. We’ll spend all of tomorrow kissing- I promise,”

That was satisfactory enough. She stared up at the ceiling, a complete different scenario from when she’d done exactly this last time with Lando laying on her. This time, there wasn’t a single cloud of doubt in her mind. She knew how much he loved her, she felt right being so close to him, not worried for how things might change between them and if it would be awful the day after. She just needed to keep faith and keep communication.

As she felt her eyelids getting too heavy to keep hers open, she swiped her hand over Lando’s forehead to push his hair up and place a kiss there. He looked up at her slightly, and with a smile, “Oscar lives in Melbourne,” He looked confused, probably thinking that he was mishearing her from lack of rest. “Huh?” His voice all deep and scruffy from sleep. 

“The flight from Perth to Melbourne is over 3 hours- you can’t really just pop down the street to go visit Oscar,” Lando laughed weakly at that. He shrugged, wiggling up closer towards her so his chin was over her shoulder.

“He’ll come visit- he’ll be ecstatic to know that we’re on good terms again,” Her hand drifted up under his shirt, her thumbs pressing into the joints of his back.

“Oscar and ecstatic are two words that absolutely do not go together,” She mused, a complete disconnect from her mind and whatever her hand was doing. All she knew was that Lando was enjoying it based on the noises he was letting out.

“A half smile may dance across his mouth at the joyous information,” God , Lando had such a strange way with words. 

“You’re weird ,” 

“You love me,”

“I really do,”

[zvdvdlvr]

Why’d You Have to Wait?

🔥 - synopsis. You get kidnapped on a case. Aaron’s coping mechanism? Self isolation. But when you’re recovering, Aaron wonders if staying away from you is the right thing to do. Jack convinces him anyway. Are things too far gone for Aaron to fix?

🔥 - warnings. Non descriptive torture. Scars. Burns. Very vaguely described mental issues. Slow burn. Friends ro enemies to lovers? Sad hotch. Angst. No happy ending.

🔥 - author’s note. Doing a part two. Hopefully this doesnt flop :)

Aaron had dreams about it now. They were so vivid- lifelike and real. Every time he had them he woke up in a cold sweat, heaving in the bathroom as tears dripped slowly down his face.

He hadn’t gone to the hospital to see you. In fact, Aaron hadn’t seen you since the day you almost died. He rode in the ambulance, but tore himself away from the hospital as he watched the doctors wheel you into the operating room. Your blood had stained his hands, face, and arms for days. Every time the white spots danced in his vision after emptying the contents of his stomach, he swears he can still see the glossy red liquid drip off his fingers.

You were well like. Not only by the team but by Strauss. She had given the team the time off to help y/n recover: sit in her room after another surgery, cheer for her during physical therapy.

Jack loved having time to see his dad after school, but he knew something was wrong after consistently hearing him pad to the kitchen during the middle of the night.

Tonight was no different.

Jack sat up in his bed and rubbed his eyes. He blinked owlishly around the room and stood up. The little Hotchner slowly followed the light to the kitchen and saw his daddy lean over the sink. “Daddy?”

Aaron turned his head and tried to smile at Jack. Aaron knew he probably looked a mess. “Hey buddy. Let’s get you back to bed.”

Before Aaron could set down set down his water cup, Jack crawled up the seat and watched his dad over the counter. “What’s wrong, daddy?”

“I just can’t sleep,” Aaron shrugged, facing Jack with his arms crossed. “Why do you think something’s wrong?”

Jack looked at Aaron as if he had grown two heads. “You get up in the night a lot, daddy. And your eyes are red. You cough a lot too.“

Hotch wanted to laugh. Of course Jack knew something was wrong- he always knew. “Yeah. You’re right, kiddo.”

“You yell when you sleep sometimes too. What happened to y/n, daddy? She doesn’t come see me anymore.”

Aaron shuddered as he inhaled. Smart boy. “She got really hurt, buddy. It’s bad. I guess I just… get scared thinking about her getting hurt,” Aaron admits, feeling his heart beat faster in his chest.

Jack nodded. “Can we go see her?”

“I- I don’t think we should. She’s still getting better.”

Jack furrowd his eyebrows and tilted his head. “But I miss her.”

“I do t- I bet she misses you, too, Jack, but I don’t know how she’s doing. She might still-“

Jack sighed. “But daddy, she’d be so happy to see me!”

Aaron sighed. As much as he selfishly wanted to see you, he couldn’t. He’d do something he wasn’t proud of- embarrass himself, ruin his reputation of being a mentally and emotionally tough boss, ruin your friendship… No. Aaron couldn’t go by himself, but Jack could go with him. Why hadn’t Aaron thought of it before?

“Okay,” Aaron relented. A smile tugged at his lips when Jack’s face lit up. He scrambled off his chair and collided into Aaron’s legs and squeezed.

“Can I sleep with you tonight, daddy? Aunt Jess always stays with me when I have a nightmare.”

Aaron bent down and picked Jack up and nodded. “Yeah, buddy. Let me brush my teeth again.”

Jack wrapped his arms around his dad’s neck and squeezed, as big of a hug his little body could give.

— 🔥

The days were all a blur for you. Now that you were all fucked up, nothing felt right anymore. Second defree burns crawled up the calf of your left leg. Small cuts littered your entire body, scarring and twisting your skin. The worst part was the long, twisting scar that started on your cheek about two inches away from your ear and pulled down to your collarbone.

The unsub, Barney MacMillian, was a sadist. A stupid fucking sadist. He thought he was punishing you for hunting him when he kidnapped and tortured you.

You know the team tried- they really really did try- to cheer you up, to get you back. But the fact that you now considered yourself a monster and how you started to believe the things MacMillian had whispered in your ear as he tore you apart, layer by layer.

Derek genuinely thought your scar was badass, but learned not to bring it up. Penelope just kept rehashing everything- something you had eventually told her to atop doing. Prentiss was cautious, testing the waters. But she eventually got back into a rhythm with you as your best friend. JJ didn’t do anything wrong, she was just really nice- too nice? Spencer was… himself. And you couldn’t thank him enough for just staying him, recitinf facts about burns and scars, knives and blood loss. It was morbid, sure, but you were always close with him and the way his brain worked.

Rossi was the one that kept you together through it all, though. He had conversations with you, long past visiting hours. He talked with you about anything and everything and somehow knew exactly what you needed to hear or talk about. But he kept making excuses for Aaron.

Aaron. The romantic feelings you kept trying to flush away turned into hurt every time Rossi’s eyes flickered away from yours when you asked about him. But you knew now. He didn’t care. He never would. That’s why he didn’t show. It’s the only plausible explanation of why he wouldn’t show up, shoot you a text, something.

So you turned your hurt into anger and stopped asking, ignoring the way your heart would drop to your stomach and how the acid in your stomach churned eveey time you heard his name.

You already had your resignation documenta stored neatly in a magazine in the second table in the nightstand to your right. You were done with it all.

— 🔥

That’s why you felt tears prick in your eyes when you saw Jack Hotchner leap into the room. His little eyes scoured your face, eyes dragging down the healing skin on your face. You heard Aaron’s footfalls stop short at the door. Your jaw clenched and you stared at Jack, waiting for him to start crying and ask to leave.

But he didn’t. He just smiled and leapt into your arms, completely unaware of the physical pain in your leg and body. He just wrapped his arms and legs around you.

You sat still, eyes looking at Rossi, who smiled at you. You hadn’t yet looked at Aaron and didn’t even want to. Carefully you wrapped your arms around Jack’s back, ignoring how fast the tears left your eyes.

Jack pulled back and looked at you with a smile that faded the second he saw your tears. In all of your time (almost 10 years) at the BAU, Jack had only seen you cry once. And that was during a movie. 

“I thought coming to see you what make you happy,” he sad, voice sad. “Why are you crying?”

You smiled at him, sniffling pitifully. “I’m not sad, little J. I am really happy to see you,” you said. You hoped Aaron would hear the sharp undertone in your voice. Judging by Rossi’s huff of a laugh, he did.

“Oh! Well, I brought you stuff. I know you like the Black Widow because she’s really cool, so I brought you a coloring book,” Jack explained as he brandished his backpack full of stuff. You listensed intently, only looking up when Rossi got your attention and nodded to the door to signal him leaving.

Jack kept talking and you were overjoyed to listen. He was a pleasent little man, making your time more enjoyable. He opened up the coloring book he bought and started coloring after giving you a Beanie Baby he had that you mentioned you liked. He also got you a necklace- that Aaron no doubt spent a pretty penny for- that had your birthstone set in it. Jack watched you carefully as you opened it, and he put it on with his chubby fingers. You didn’t tell him that you would have to take it off soon after he left so it didn’t kill you when you slept. Hospital policy or something.

Soon after you finished your own coloring page featuring the Black Widow and Tony Stark making a hero landing, Jack turned on the T.V. and fell asleep.

“Hey,” Aaron said finally.

You nodded. “Hi boss.”

Aaron bit his lip. You stared forward, hand threading through Jack’s hair. Aaron felt his heart clenching in his chest. He didn’t know how you were gonna react when he came by, but he didn’t expect this- this silent treatment. He didn’t really blame you though. He wanted more than anything to make it up to you, to get you smiling again, but he knew the distance was probably better. For him at least.

“Y/n-“ Aaron started.”

You cut him off with. “Jack’s asleep, sir. It would be best not to wake him.”

Sir. You only called him sir if you were mad. Aaron swallowed. He knew he fucked up. Would he ever be able to fix his mistake, bring the old you back? He pondered the questions as he leaned back in his chair and watched the television show Jack chose before he fell asleep.

— 🔥

“Y/n is getting sent home today,” David’s voice crackled through the phone. “We wanted to take her out to dinner, something nice. Are you coming?”

Aaron sat at the kitchen table, checking over Jack’s homework. Jack himself was sitting a couple feet away on the couch. “Probably not. I have Jack.” 

Rossi scoffed on the other line. “She loves Jack and he loves her. Bring him with you.”

“I don’t know,” Aaron sighed. He rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes. “Dave, she hates me.”

Silence. Rossi exhaled and shook his head. “She doesn’t hate you, but you’re giving her a lot of reasons to. Clean yourself up and meet us all at the address Garcia’ll send you. 6:00. Be there, Aaron. If not for her…” he trailed off, considering his next words carefully. “Then for Jack.”

— 🔥

David convinced you all to wait until ordering.

But when 6:45 rolled around and Aaron didn’t show, you just clenched your jaw and ordered a neat whiskey.

[judes-hoe]

Rich daddy ~ JB5

Parrings ~ older!jude Bellingham x reader

Summary ~ Jude is your older husband, and you have two kids. He’s very rich and wealthy and takes you on a little get away.

Warnings ~ mostly fluff, oral(f receiving), p in v(unprotected), fingering, Jude referred to as daddy a few times🤭,

A/N ~ this is fr the last fic cause I need to focus on my series before I go on break. (Btw I listen to ‘All the Time’ by Jeremiah.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jude was 28, you were 22. You had a 6 year age gap. But neither of you minded it, you liked older guys, he liked young women. You had 2 kids, Antonio who was 2 and Olivia who was 1. They could be a bit of a handful sometimes for you. So Jude thought you could use a little get away.

He took time off his job for a 4 day get away. You dropped your kids off at Jude’s parents house. Jude wouldn’t tell you were he was taking you but you knew it would be good. You always put your trust in him.

Jude pulls up to a 5 star restaurant, it was one of your favorites. Like the gentleman he is, he goes and opens your door for you helping you out the car. He wrapped an arm around your waist and leads you inside. He had reservations made for 7:30 and you were quickly seated.

Dinner went by in a blur and it was amazing. You and Jude left, and instead of going home, he takes you to a 5 start hotel, he got the most luxurious room on the very top floor. He checked into the hotel and you took the elevator up to the 11th floor. In the elevator Jude pulled you into a heated kiss. He kissed you until the doors open. He then leads you to the room and pulls you inside closing and locking the door.

You take in the room, a small kitchen, a full bathroom, a king sized bed. Floor to ceiling windows. Jude walks behind you and leads you to the bed making you bend and place your hands on the bed. “Need you so bad.” Jude said and his hands roam and take your dress off. Jude hums and the sight of your naked body with only a matching black lace set.

Jude starts to take his clothes off, he pulls his boxers off and rips your panties off. You let out a gasp and smirk knowing you about to get a good fucking. Jude runs his tip up and down your wet folds. You moan and arch your back pressing back against him. He takes his free hand and grips your hips sliding inside you.

You let out a moan at the feeling of him inside you. He waist no time starting to thrusting his hips. His grip on your hips will definitely leave bruises. He leans down kissing your shoulders. “You miss when daddy would fuck you like this…I know you do baby.” He said into your ear making you nod and moan. “I feel you clenching around me, you missed being fucked rough by daddy huh?” He had a smirk on his face. You just nod again with a louder moan as he pressed down on the slight bulge in my stomach.

“Please daddy.” You moan and grab his wrist. “You feel daddy, so deep ain’t I?” He teased and pressed the bulge feeling you go away and come back with his thrust. “You’re mine, no one will fuck you like I do.” He said possessively. You grip the sheets and clench around him. “I’m cumming!” You moan loudly and climax around him. He continues his thrust until he stops fully inside you cumming inside you.

He slowly pulled out of you and went to the bathroom before coming back and cleaning you up, but not before watching his cum drop out of you. After leaning he clean you up he slipped one of his shirts on you and pulled you into his chest.

~~~~

You wake up to an unfamiliar feeling, you look down and see Jude between your legs. You let out soft moans as you feel his tongue between your folds and him sucking your clit. You bring a hand down to his head pushing him closer and almost suffocating him. It only makes him flick his tongue more and suck harder. It’s not long before you cum around his tongue. He pulls back and licks you clean before coming up and giving you a kiss with his chin and mouth covered in your juices.

~~~~

The whole day Jude spoiled you and took you shopping. When you got back to your room you started a bath for you both. You dimmed the lights, undressing with Jude. He got in and you got in after him between his legs and relaxing against his chest.

You feel Jude’s hand trail down between your legs and you just open them a little for him. He smirks and kisses your neck and he dips his fingers into your entrance. “Just relax baby, let me make you feel good.” He whispered and slowly fingers you while kissing your neck. He brings his other hand to play with your clit. “This getaway was all for you, and for me to help you relax.” He said, you nod letting out a soft whimper.

He speeds up his fingers a little more and rubs circles on your clit. Your moans get a little louder, he sucks on your sweet spot on your neck. It was so much pleasure at much you can feel you climax coming. “Cum for me baby, I feel you clenching.” He whispered and that tips you over the edge and you cum around his fingers. He pulled his fingers out and licks them clean.

After a few minutes he helps you out the bath and get changed before going to bed.

~~~~

It was the last night at the hotel, Jude had took you out to another fancy restaurant for dinner. When you got back to the room he pulls you into a kiss. You both quickly underdress each other. You feel your bare back it something, you look as see your pressed against the windows that overlooked the city.

Jude smirks and lifts you up in his arms, your legs wrapped around him and he makes sure your back is pressed against the window. He looks down and puts his cock inside you. He starts thrusting hard and fast up into you. You hold onto him and moan loudly. “Yeah baby, moan for me, let the whole city know whats mine.” He said his voice filled with possessiveness.

He kisses your neck leaving more marks. Jude couldn’t get enough of you. “Shit baby you feel so good.” He mumbled and quickened his pace more as he reached between you and rubbed your clit. You were so fucked out you didn’t care if people could see. “Cum for me baby, cum for daddy.” He said feeling you clench around him. You didn’t even realize how close you were, you cum around his cock and he cums inside you.

After this, 4 days getaways became a monthly thing…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N ~ this is FR the last fic and I made it extraaaaa long for everyone. Now I’ll focus on these series before I leave.

[miniwheat77]

Nasty. (Mean!König x Reader.)

!CW! NSFW, König being a big meanie, rough sex, unprotected sex, slight dub con, poorly translated German, this is short forgive me, (sorry if I missed any.)

Your nerves are completely shot as you stand in a line. You don’t know why, but he’s so so mean. So mean. He hates you for some reason. Absolutely hates you.

You’re lined up with other Sergeants, waiting nervously as Colonel König passes each of you. “Y/L/N, 50 push ups. im Augenblick.”

You know better than to argue, so you drop to the floor, beginning to do your push ups. Trying not to cry. You wish you could just know why he’s so mean to you. You just didn’t understand, you’d never done anything. You were always kind to him. Always obeyed him. When you finish your push ups, he’s excused everyone else and he’s watching you intently. “Colonel.” You ask, out of breath. He looks at you. “Can I ask why you gave me 50 push ups?” He stands there, eyes dark as he stares upon you.

“50 more.” He breathes. “Now.” A sigh leaves your lips and you obey him, dropping down to your knees again and propping yourself up. “When you’re finished you can go to bed.” He breathes. You choose to ignore him, tired of the way he’s treating you. He walks away down the hallway, but watches to make sure you actually finish your push ups. You do. He smirks to himself. You stand up when you finish and walk down the hallway to your room. You don’t understand.

A couple days later, you wait patiently for an order. You’ve been burned out completely, he’s making you run laps around the base and your eyes are burning from the sweat dripping down your face. The sun is beating down on you and he won’t let you stop for anything. He disappeared a while ago and you haven’t seen him. Your vision starts to blur, and you look confused. Legs slowing to a stop against your will. You start to see other colors, brighter colors filling your vision. That’s all you remember.

König forgot. He went inside for a second and he was going to head back out to relieve you but he got distracted. He’s sitting in his office when he hears yelling, and stands up to peek outside. Curious what the commotion is. He sees another Sergeant bursting through the door carrying you, and his stomach falls. “I need a medic!” He calls. Others flood the hallway and a medic appears. They’re rushing you back to the infirmary. “What’s going on?” She asks. “I don’t know, I found her outside passed out.”

She sighs. “She’s having a heat stroke, we need to cool her temperature down.” König walks away from the infirmary. He knows he’s a little extreme sometimes.

—

“My office, now.” His stern voice sends chills up your spine. You follow after him.

He closes the door behind you and walks around you, staring you down. “I said 50 push ups.” He crosses his arms. “I will do them, but I want to know why first.” You breath. He mumbles something under his breath in German, you don’t hear him. “Now.” He breathes. “No.” You breathe. “I deserve to know why.” He let’s out a deep chuckle and you know you’re digging yourself a hole, but you’re tired of this. “You listen to me, girl.” He growls. “I don’t have to explain myself. I don’t have to tell you why. I say jump, you fucking jump.” He growls. “dummes Mädchen.” He growls. You know what he’s just said. “Fuck you.” You growl. His eyes snap to you, wide. He’s pissed. In one second, he’s got you slammed up against a wall. Hand around your throat. He’s watching you turn a shade of red. “Fine. You want to fucking disobey me?” He breathes. You can feel his spit particles landing on your face. He’s seething. “Ich zeige dir, was ich mit bösen Mädchen mache.” He growls, he lets go of your throat and spins you around. Forcing you down onto his desk.

Your eyes widen as he tears your cargo pants down your legs, forcing them down. What is this? Why is he reacting like this? You feel the tip of his cock nudging at your entrance and in one hard thrust, he forces his cock into you and a gasp gets stuck in your throat as he starts to thrust himself into you. He’s stretching you and it hurts. Tears prick your eyes at the intrusion, a cry leaving your lips.

Luckily your body gets used to him. Your hands clutch his desk and he groans out. Hands holding your hips in a death grip, sure to leave bruises in their wake. His belt rattles violently with each of his brutal thrusts, the massive man makes you look small. Watching the way your pussy stretches around his massive cock has his eyes rolling back. You’re quiet for a while, but his thrusts halt immediately when a moan leaves your lips. He spins you around, pupils blown out. He can’t believe his ears. “Do you like this?” He asks. You’re leaning up against his desk, body exposed to his judgmental eyes. You stay quiet which earns a sharp slap to your cheek. You nod your head shyly. He grasps your thighs, forcing you back onto his desk again, returning his cock to your weepy hole. He thrusts in again and you cry out. “Ah! König please- slower please-“ you whimper. “You can take it, we both know you can.” He growls. He squeezes your breasts too hard and you whimper out, he’s so mean. “You like when I’m mean to you, dumme Hure” he growls. “You like when I bully your slutty pussy. I know how wet you get for me when I’m mean to you. You like it. So take it. Nimm mich, du verdammte Schlampe”

A cry leaves your lips as he bullies your cunt. Thrusting into you hard, not giving you anytime to adjust to him or his massive size. His desk is sliding across the floor with a violent screech, it doesn’t phase him. Not even a little bit. His groans that he’s letting out, they’re something different. You’ve never heard him being pleasured before, only angry at you. Maybe this is how you could make him happier. Maybe this is how you fix him being mean to you. You’ve got a death grip on his desk, his cock is pushing into your cervix and it’s too much. Bordering uncomfortable but you don’t dare tell him that. You keep your legs open for him, letting him use you. His moans are getting a little more desperate. Whimpers almost. “Oh fuck, so tight.” He gasps. He pushes one of your legs up a little higher, cock sliding even further into you. How on earth you were handling him was beyond you. You can’t help as your eyes start to water, tears beginning to spill from your eyes at the intensity of his massive cock. He’s overwhelming you. You can’t help it. “König?” You ask. “What?” He growls, “can I cum?” You whimper. You can see the way the small wrinkles around his eyes form, he’s smiling. “Now that’s a good girl, asking for permission.” He breathes. “Just a little longer.” He breathes.

You’re right on the edge. He’s pushing you over it quickly and you don’t know if you can hold on. “Ich sagte, warte”

You nod your head eagerly and he’s smiling down at you again. His cock twitches slightly and he’s about to cum. “Cum now, Liebling” he mumbles. You fall apart completely beneath him. Thighs shaking, body shivering. Chills arising on your skin. Your eyes roll back and you’re sucked into another dimension for a minute. The sound of him panting is bringing you back down to earth. He slides out of you and you let out a gasp. Realizing what’s just happened, he’s cum in you. Your eyes widen slightly. Worry filling you up.

“Get dressed and go clean up.” He orders. You nod your head, obeying him immediately.

The feeling that settles into your chest, sadness. Because no matter how much you offered your body up for him. Your holes, he was always just going to be mean.

[fruitmins]

Purple Car | jungkook

➭ summary: in which jungkook is a successful solo idol and your his long time girlfriend that he hasn’t seen in almost two months. again. it’s starting to feel like your more like distant friends more than lovers so when you unexpectedly disappear, jungkook goes the distance to try to find you.

➭genre: solo idol jk x reader, drabble

➭warnings: none really. a little angsty and depressing. there’s a couple bad words

➭note: first post🥳 | heard a snippet of the acoustic version of ‘car outside’ and this was the outcome sooo feedback would be appreciated.

Jungkook’s eyes begin to strain as he stared at the blue screen with wide and glossy eyes. He didn’t care how badly he was damaging his eyes. It didn’t even cross his mind for a second. He could barely process the information that was on the screen. But still, he stared at it in disbelief. How could he care about himself when the most important person he cared about was missing?

‘nearest train station’

‘train tickets to Daegu’

According to your laptop that was the last thing you had googled. The last time you had used it being almost an hour ago.

His heavy heart sank. Would the train be gone by now?

No. He didn’t want to think of the possibility that you actually left him. You two had always talked about going to Daegu together. Going out to hotels and spending the days happily touring together.

Jungkook’s throat ran dry as he thought about the word touring. When was the last time he actually spent quality time with you? He had just came back from a month tour, promoting his new solo album. He had spent weeks prior getting ready for it and his schedule became full in an instant.

He felt bad and had always planned on making up for lost time as soon as he was done. He knew that after his company would leave him alone for once and he was set on making you his top priority after.

He always made sure to call you at least once a day when on tour, or send little gifts and things to the house in an attempt to cheer you up.

Jungkook glanced around the room, some of his latest gifts not even out of the box. At first, he was constant with the calls and gifts. They would be sweet and meaningful. But as the tour continued the more tired he got. His calls were short and late at night and his gifts became small and less frequent.

His stomach swelled with guilt at the thought. How could he do this to you? Abandon you, make promises, and give you false hope. He remembered the words he said to you to cheer you up.

‘It’ll be over soon before you know it.’

‘When I get back we’ll have the best nights of our lives.’

‘I promise to call you more babe.’

‘I promise I’m fine babe, everything will go back to normal when I’m done.’

‘Stop fucking freaking out so much.’

Most of the time, his mind was clouded by exhaustion and pressure he forgot about the things he said. It felt like all the nights before he slept was like a drunken blur. All he could remember was being on stage and wanting to do good for his fans.

Well now he remembered. All the dry talks between you two. All of the half hearted things he said while slurring, barely awake. Sometimes almost yelling at you whenever you spoke to loud or to much. It was clear as time went he became more moody and distant.

He felt sick.

On the king sized bed, next to the earlier gifts laid your phone. No wonder you hadn’t been answering your phone. Did you really go the extra mile to leave everything at home?

No, he thought again. This must mean your in the house. Maybe the shower, or you went for a walk. Why would you leave your phone?

He tapped on the screen as it lit up. His handful of text showed on the screen. Your phone was almost dead and seemed completely untouched.

12:02AM

Even though he knew you never took showers this late, he went to the master bathroom to take a peek. Nothing. There was limited places you could be hiding, and he had already checked the place once he realized you weren’t home when he first arrived. You weren’t ANYWHERE. Not even in the guest bedroom.

Now he was really starting to panic as realization set in. He had screwed up. He had played with your emotions. He had left you one to many times. Now you were leaving him.

Now he was feeling everything that you had been for the past month and a half, and every other time a big event happened. He felt abandoned, sad, ditched and empty. How the fuck did he not realize what he was doing? How did he not realize how you were feeling? Why didn’t you talk to him? Did you? Not like he could really remember if you had.

‘nearest train station’

He clicked on your past search to see the exact responds. Shit. It wasn’t that far from the house. Only fifteen minutes to be exact. And you had been ghosting him for an hour.

He sprung into action at the realization. He would just had to hope that the train didn’t leave yet. To just hope that you went to early or that you had changed your mind.

He jumps into his car. Not caring that he wasn’t even supposed to be out this late, especially not in his recognizable purple car. Something even his fans knew was his prized possession since he and your favorite color was purple. In his purple car he felt like any other normal person. Especially when you were in the car with him. Now if just felt empty.

He practically sped to the train station (he actually did go over the speed limit a little), immediately parking his car in a random lot before booking it inside the large building.

Inside, he is immediately hit by a sense of bustling activity and the sound of people rushing to catch their trains as his eyes try to scan to look for you. Even though it’s early in the morning, there’s still a bunch of people.

Even when it’s a little dark inside the station since the sun isn’t up yet, he can spot a variety of posters and signs, displaying information about train schedules, destinations, and services available at the station.

He runs to the board, looking for the word Daegu and the color from his face drains when he finds it. The last train to Daegu had left at 11pm. Almost an hour ago. And what’s even worse is that he couldn’t even get a ticket till six.

He almost growled at the board out of anger. What he wasn’t going to do was sit around for five hours while you would be at a foreign place with no phone and nothing to defend yourself with. Especially since you were arriving at such a late time. He was not going to sit around when he had a perfectly good private jet.

Jungkook didn’t care who he woke up. He was the most successful man under his company and getting even more popular around the world. If he wanted a private jet ready at twelve o clock, he was going to get it.

Jungkook would be arriving to Daegu a big whopping thirty minutes before you, and it would take him a decent amount of time to get to the train station you would be arriving it. In short, Jungkook was seriously cutting it short.

If he was even a second to late, you’d disappear into the sea of people and his chances of finding you would decrease drastically by the minute.

Despite being exhausted and sleep deprived, Jungkook couldn’t sleep on the jet. He couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat. All he could do is refrain himself from tearing out his own hair by repeating calling your number, listening to your voice mail for comfort since he knew you wouldn’t answer.

Once his phone had died, all he had was his thoughts. The depressing feeling of sorrow and loss took over him as he cried his eyes out. He missed you and he hated that he drew you away. He hate that he hurt you. He couldn’t imagine a life without you. He wanted to marry you for God’s sake. He felt like his chest was crashing the more he was away from you.

Finally, after he arrived he had a car waiting for him to take him to the train station. He had requested the same purple car he had left back at home, it didn’t feel right picking you up in an all black shaded windowed limo. Whenever you both went somewhere you took that car. You two had spent camping trips and dinner dates in that car. Sure it was newer and wasn’t his car but it was close enough.

He drove himself to the train station and ran inside the building as fast as he could. His face was hidden with a hat and mask as he tried his best to blend in with the people while still desperately trying to reach the platforms.

When he did, he saw one train already letting off a load of people. Jungkook immediately grew terrified. Did you already get off? Did he already lose you? A million thoughts ran through his head as his eyes started to water again.

He didn’t stop walking till he was at the front of the platform, watching as the people who got off with smiles reunited with family members or friends.

Jungkook watched the train empty, looking through the windows in hopes of getting a glimpse of you still inside. But it was mostly empty. You must of been one of the first people to get off. You must of been in a rush to get away from him. To start over. To leave him like he had done you.

Jungkook’s heavy head dropped, looking straight at the ground with closed eyes as tears started to fall. Grieving over the loss of his soulmate. And he could only blame himself.

He wished he could turn back time and do things differently, but he knew that was impossible. All he could do now was try to pick up the pieces of his shattered life and move forward, even though he had no idea how to do that without his wife by his side. But he would always missing you piece of his life..

“Jungkook?”

Jungkook’s body immediately froze at his name. The voice was behind him and spoke with a shaky voice but he was positive it sounded just like you. Was his mind fucking with him? Did he actually hear your voice? For the first time in a month? Were you still here? Did he still have a chance?

He swallowed a lump in his throat as he turned around, a little cautious. His breathing stopped when he met your red eyes. It was you. Only a couple steps away from him. You looked different. More skinny, you had on older clothes. Not the ones he bought you. And he could tell by your tear stained cheek and puffy eyes that you had been crying for a while. But you still looked beautiful. He missed your eyes, your touch, your smell..

Without giving it a second thought, he jumped towards you. His arms immediately wrapped around you as he gave you a tight hug and held you. His tears were spilling more violently as he sobbed into you. Relief rushed through him as he held you. You didn’t push him away, but you didn’t exactly hug him either. But he didn’t care. As long as he got to hug you. He was scared of letting you go. He didn’t want you to leave, and he didn’t want to leave either.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He managed to choke out and soon enough you began to cry with him, becoming emotional in his arms. “I’m so fucking sorry.” He repeated, the first genuine words he said to you in a while. Your familiar soothing smell with the warmth of your small figure stopped him from having a full out panic attack.

“Jungkook I—“ you started to speak but he quickly shook his head, pulling away to analyze your face. He looked into your eyes with such relief and care but sadness still filled his expression. He was still scared you wouldn’t forgive him. That he had still lost you.

“I’m terrible Y/N. I didn’t realize just how much I let my job take over my life. Our life. I missed you Y/N I really did. I love you. I love you more than myself. I don’t wanna leave you anymore.” He said quickly pulling you back into a tight embrace, and this time he almost melted when your arms wrapped around him. He wanted to say so much more but he couldn’t form the words. It was paining him just seeing you cry.

“Please, give me a second chance to fix things. I’m not going anywhere without you Y/N.” He said, his desperate words spoken in a firm voice. He wanted to let you know just how serious he was about his words.

“Don’t promise anything..” you mumbled. The first proper-ish sentence you’ve said the whole time. He missed your voice, it wasn’t the same over the phone but your words stung. Did you not trust him? Did you think he would abandon you? Cause if so he’d get on his knees and propose to you right there.

“I just don’t want you to leave. I don’t want to leave you.” He sobbed into your shoulder honestly. Jungkook had always been a little shy with crying, even in front of you. But he was willing to expose himself to you. To let you know how he really felt.

“I-I won’t. Leave..” You choked out in a low voice and Jungkook was immediately over the moon. All his worries and fears washed away at your words. “I love you.” You spoke, this time in a stronger but gentle voice as his grip loosened a little around you.

He responded by pulling down his mask and kissing you with starving lips. His arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled your body against his. You kissed him back, melting in his touch as the world around you disappeared. You both had missed each others touch and you practically cried of happiness at the familiar warmth of his lips on yours.

When you pulled away to catch your breath, Jungkook leaned his forehead so it was touching yours. He closed his eyes and took everything in as he continued to hold your waist. Never would he be leaving you again. Never.

— A YEAR LATER —

“You ready for the tour baby?” Jungkook asked you in a gentle and soothing voice when he slithered behind you, wrapping his arms around you and putting his head on your shoulder. He gave you a kiss on your neck as he watched you pack your large suitcase.

“Absolutely. I can’t wait to visit all the different places.” You said with a wide smile as you leaned into his touch. When Jungkook cleared his voice you giggled. “And watch you preform of course.” A satisfied smirk showed on his lips at your response.

“Well I’m glad your happy.” He replied with a warm smile, his voice filled with joy and happiness.

Because what you didn’t know was that on the last day of the tour in Daegu, Jungkook was going to propose to you after singing Still With You.

[causewayguy]

Fuck, Chor 3 already sinned. On Day 3 of the lunar new year, Jon's family hosted a family gathering at their new house. Tables were set up in the yard where it was sheltered but still breezy. The best part is that Jon gets to see all his pretty xmm cousins/SO who came late to the party. That's where he laid his eyes on Xiao Wen.

Xiao Wen was Jon's nerdy cousin's (Z's) new girlfriend. Looked slightly out of place since it was her first time visiting the extended fam, Xiao Wen is not those drop dead gorgeous but looked a bit nerdy and reserved. But to Jon, she had just the right amount of baby fats here and there, and her white tube top and black shorts accentuated her curves.

Lunch went on as normal, chit chats and laughters. And finally, they started gambling. Coming from SG, Jon had to be the 'house' and started dealing cards, with both Z and Xiao Wen joining the fray. Jon would purposely deal Xiao Wen cards slightly further front from her so she needed to bend down, showing some of her creamy cleavage. Sometimes when she wins, Xiao Wen gets all hyper, showing all kinds of skin, much to Jon's delight. Lucky didn't kena caught as Z is known to be a blur sotong (nerd mah).

After an hour or so, Xiao Wen had lost almost RM100. Can feel she was seriously down in the dumps and trying to get Z's attention to maybe stop and do other things. Z, being sotong no.1 and an avid gambler, not only brushed her off but decided to be the next 'house' as his luck was pretty good.

Stars aligned and 5 minutes later, both Jon and Xiao Wen were on the couch talking while Z just started his Stephen Chow's God of Gambler concentration. Turns out this was their second date and Z just dragged Xiao Wen here without telling her the occasion. This is what you call blur sotong...

Jon half bragged, half shared how it is in SG and Xiao Wen was totally hooked as she herself wanted to further studies in SG. She was sitting so close to Jon with her legs touching as they looked at photos on Jon's phone. Pushing his luck further, he mentioned he got more pics during his NUS days in his laptop, and invited her up to his room. Xiao Wen quickly nodded her head without a second thought (another blur sotong...) about Z or the situation she's in. As they went up, no one saw except for Jon's helper, Maria, who just winked at Jon.

Up in his room, Jon quietly locked his door after Xiao Wen entered. She was sitting on his bed ohh and ahhing at Jon's photos on his laptop, firing all kinds of questions about the places in the photos. The photos were becoming more naughty as Jon pulled up his clubbing and drinking photos intentionally. Xiao Wen was still asking questions.

Next photo. 'Eh how come so dark this picture?'

'Oh this is Zouk night club. I usually go drinking here.'

Next photo. 'It looks so fun dancing wei!'

'Ya lo, this one you need to try. After high, just dancing and grind with anyone we see.'

Next photo. 'Wasehh your gf so pretty! But PDA le, kiss in front of camera.'

'No la, this is my best friend's gf. He was vomiting in the toilet, so weak haha.'

At this time, Xiao Wen finally noticed the weird tension in the air but said nothing.

Next photo. 'Ha ha...not bad la, you still send them both back to their room first.'

'We stay in the same house. That was my friend's room, and this is mine.'

Next few photos showed my friend's gf being all slutty and provocative poses in all areas of my room. Finally, the last photo was of her on my bed, biting her lips and pulling my hand, looking straight into the camera.

'Oh...hmm...I see...'

'Last time was my friend's gf, today is my cousin's gf...'

Jon stood up beside her, looking down at Xiao Wen and slowly traced his finger along her face. As he reached her lips, Xiao Wen automatically sucked on Jon's index finger, essentially giving him the green light. Jon immediately slid his other hand down Xiao Wen's blouse, giving her boobs a quick squeeze and started to tune her nipples.

'Hmmmpp...please...show me what happened next...'

Xiao Wen bit her lips and made the same pose as the photo. This made Jon's blood boil and he quickly pushed Xiao Wen onto his bed, pulling off her top down. Her boobs were heavenly, with some bounce as Jon quickly removed her nipple stickers and sucked on her nips. This was Xiao Wen's second sexual experience but it was so much better. Looking at the pictures made her a little horny while Jon licked at her sensitive nipples and slid his hand into her shorts and fingered her pussy. Xiao Wen moaned and squirmed with pleasure as Jon continued his duel attack.

Up until her breaking point, Jon stopped abruptly and quickly dropped his pants. Xiao Wen stared at the piece of meat she knows she shouldn't accept but her body betrayed her. Xiao Wen pulled both her shorts and panties aside while holding her legs up, giving Jon the full access and he gladly complied.

Jon rammed his cock into Xiao Wen, getting a shriek from her. Knowing time is limited, Jon did not hold back and drilled Xiao Wen hard and deep. Xiao Wen was still inexperienced so this blew her mind. As Jon continued plowing into her, he whispered all sweet nonsense to her 'your pussy so tight baby, my cock is made for you, you are so much better than my gf, you milking me so good, I am fucking you like I fuck her (friend gf), please can I cum in you'. This made her felt both physically and emotionally attached to Jon, and could only nod her head furiously at Jon's last question.

Finally, looking at his cousin's gf asking for a creampie, Jon couldn't hold back any longer. He blew his load into Xiao Wen, filling her almost virgin pussy almost completely. Xiao Wen could only groan in satisfaction as the warmth feeling spread all over her insides.

Suddenly without warning, someone knocked on the door and whispered 'coming'. Jon quickly pulled his pants up and correctly Xiao Wen top before rushing to unlock the door. Just as he stepped out, Z was climbing the stairs and asked if Jon saw Xiao Wen. Right in cue, Xiao Wen walked out.

'Thanks for the info, Jon. At least now I know SG better.'

She took Z hands and started to walk back down the stairs together. But not before biting her lips and winking at Jon behind Z's back. Need to teach that fucking slut another lesson...

**************************

To the bro who asked for submission, sorry I took too long. If you still want a cny theme one, dm me again.

[1toreyouapart]

The Lies We Tell

***FANFIC THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. MDNI. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE FANFIC THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE***

Summary that tells you nothing: Sometimes everything you ever wanted has been right there, within reach, all along.

CW/TW: Angst, fluff, swearing, friends to lovers, jealousy, smut, fingering, PinV, pet names, friends with benefits, mental health (past attempt mentioned), oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, more to come as I actually get things written out.

A/N: 4.2k words. I got a little carried away. Smut below the cut. 🫡

Masterlist

You Smell Like Victory

Silence filled the room while she scrolled through Netflix, the titles of shows and movies a blur. Noah worked silently at his desk, responding to a few emails. Something had changed in the kitchen earlier. Such a quick kiss she thought she had imagined it at first. Then the extra touching. Like he was finding every excuse imaginable to have his hands on her. On the small of her back, his hand on her thigh as they sat together on the couch. How when he had passed her to head up here he had grabbed her hand to get her attention, not letting go until she had followed him all the way into his room. The way his hands lingered longer than normal.

The bed shifted as Noah laid next to her, his own gaze fixed on the ceiling. Cautious she glanced over at home, noting the way his brow furrowed slightly. Something was clearly on his mind. She couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking of the same things she was.

“Find a movie yet?” He asked, keeping his eyes locked on the ceiling.

“No.” Quinn sighed. She hadn’t been able to focus on any of the titles.

“What about ‘The Nun’? You love that one.”

“You hate it, though.”

“So? You love it. Put it on.”

Quinn arched her brow as she stared down at him. Noah never let her just put on what she wanted without a fight. He was being weird. She wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it.

“Alright. Who are you and what have you done with my Noah?”

Noah laughed, finally tearing his gaze away from the ceiling. His warm eyes traveled over her face, pausing ever so briefly on her lips before meeting her eyes again.

“Is it so impossible to believe that maybe I’m just being nice?” He chuckled, nudging her side with his elbow. “Put your stupid movie on.”

Quinn eyed him warily, unsure whether this was one of his pranks or not. Noah always gave her shit about that movie. Was always teasing her every time she jumped, regardless of how many times she had seen it. With a roll of her eyes she shrugged, turning her attention back to the TV.

“Your loss, I guess.” She pushed play.

“Hardly,” he muttered, getting up.

Frowning she watched him grab a pair of sweatpants and head towards the door. Where the hell did he think he was going? The deal was always that they watched the movie and then he changed after. Something was off with him tonight. Then the light shut off.

“Noah! What the fuck?”

“What? Too scared to be alone for two minutes?” He laughed, walking out the door.

“Asshole!” She called after him, his only response laughter as the bathroom door shut behind him.

Quinn’s eyes went back to the TV, heart in her throat. As she watched the two Sisters she sat up, scooting as far back from the TV as possible, like Valak could reach through the stupid TV and grab her. She loved this movie purely because Valak terrified her. Something Noah clearly didn’t understand.

Right as the Sister sacrificed herself, Noah returned, the click of his bedroom door shutting startling her. Her hand clutched at her chest as she turned toward him, wide eyed.

“Noah! You asshole! You left me alone with Valak.”

Noah chuckled, shaking his head as he deposited his clothes into his hamper. She tried really hard not to notice the way his sweats sat low on his hips. Something he couldn’t really help. It was always hard for him to find clothes that fit his tall frame. But still. After the way he had been towards her all evening, it was hard not to notice it. Almost like it was on purpose. The shirt he usually wore for bed was definitely noticeably absent. Tattoos and the abs he had been working so hard on in the gym on full display.

“You’ve seen this movie a thousand times. I think you’re fine.” He motioned for her to scoot forward. “Scoot. Assume the position.”

Quinn followed his direction, scooting forward. Felt the bed shift as he slid into his usual spot behind her, his legs on either side of hers. His long arms wrapped around her, pulling her back against his chest. They always watched movies like this. Usually far more dressed than this, however. She couldn’t help but notice how bare her legs were as his hand landed on her thigh, resting there.

“Hey. Together we make one whole outfit.” Quinn laughed nervously, the movie completely forgotten at this point.

“Strange that both items are actually mine. Are you ever going to give my shirt back?”

Her eyes stayed focused on the hand on her thigh, watched as he started to trace little patterns on her the inside of it. Such a small, simple thing he had probably done countless times over the years, yet tonight it had a dull ache forming right at the apex of her thighs. Quinn swallowed, trying to keep her breathing even.

“Weird way to say our shirt, but okay.”

“You’re a menace, you know that?”

Noah sounded so normal. So nonchalant. Like he wasn’t currently driving her absolutely insane. His fingers trailed just slightly closer to her center and she had to fight to keep any reaction at bay. This was normal, right? He was just being his usual kind of touchy self. Just normal Noah. She was the one being weird.

“If you say so.” Her voice was quiet, just barely above a whisper. She didn’t trust it at this point. Didn’t trust that speaking normally wouldn’t give away exactly what was going through her mind.

His hand slid up her thigh just another fraction of an inch and she sucked in a breath, holding it. Noah’s low chuckle behind her brought her attention away from his hand on her thigh. He knew exactly what he was doing.

“Noah?”

“Yes?” he asked, his lips right by her ear.

“What, uh,” his hand inched closer. “What’s up?”

Quinn kicked herself. What’s up? What’s up?! Was she stupid? Jesus Christ.

“See, things have been a little tense like, the entire time I’ve been home. My fault, really. And I think the only way to fix it at this point is to fuck about it.” His hand moved, cupping her through her panties. “Don’t you think we should just fuck it out, Quinn?”

Quinn gasped as he massaged her, using the palm of his hand to apply pressure to her clit. Her hips jerked slightly, a quiet whimper escaping her as liquid heat surged through her body. Helpless she nodded her head, hands gripping the hem of his shirt she wore. Like she had ever had a chance in hell of saying no. Part of her had known the second he led her up here, tossed the shirt she’d worn the night before at her before turning his back so she could change, that this was exactly where things were headed tonight.

“Words, baby. Use your words.” His voice was low, just barely loud enough for only her to hear.

“Y-yes,” she stammered, rocking her hips against his hand.

Noah rewarded her by slipping his hand inside her panties, one long finger rubbing slow, languid circles around her clit. Her back arched, a low groan slipping out of her. Teeth scraped over the side of her throat, his fingers plunging inside of her, curling, stroking, as his palm now pressed against her, massaging her clit as he worked. His free hand slip up her shirt, nails scraping over her belly, tracing a path up to her breast.

Pressure built low in her belly, her heart beating erratically in her chest. She was on the edge, and she wasn’t sure she could stop her impending orgasm even if she tried. Even if she wanted to. He had slowly, systematically worked her up to this point all evening. His fingers captured her nipple, pinching slightly as he tugged, and the pressure in her belly burst, her body tensing as she came, breath hitching as she fought to stay quiet.

“Jesus Christ, Quinn.” He groaned, his fingers still slowly pumping in and out of her as he eased her down from her high. “You’re so fucking sensitive.”

Body trembling she collapsed back against him, trying desperately to catch her breath. She could feel every hard inch of him beneath her, and she couldn’t help the slight hesitation. If what she felt was correct, she was in trouble. Jesus Christ. How the hell did he expect to fit? Did everything on him have to be big?

“And whose fault is that, exactly?” She sighed, running a still trembling hand through her hair. “Teasing me all fucking night. And you call me a menace.”

“Anybody ever tell you that you’re incredibly fucking mouthy?” He laughed, dropping a kiss on top of her head. “You good?”

“Yeah.” She nodded, wincing as he pulled his fingers out of her.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Like you said, I’m sensitive.”

Quinn sat up fully, lifting her shirt and tossing it off to the side. While she appreciated him taking the time to check in with her, she needed more. Needed to get him inside of her. Even if, by her judgement, it would hurt. She trusted him. Knew he would be gentle with her.

Noah brushed her hair off her shoulder, pressing his lips to her skin. Quinn sighed, letting herself relax against him just slightly.

“How do you want to do this?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” He trailed off, his hands going back to her thighs, tracing soothing patterns once more. “What position would be most comfortable for you?”

Quinn thought about it, picturing every position she could think of. She imagined him behind her, and while her favorite position, wasn’t something she was sure she could handle right now. Most of the men she had been with were average sized. He felt much larger. Which meant being in top would be a struggle.

“No one’s ever asked me that before,” she mused. She felt his body tense behind her. “I suppose you on top?”

She didn’t wait for his direction and moved to lay beside him, watching as his head turned to follow her. He made no immediate move to follow her, just watched her as she laid back, holding her hand out to him.

“That’s something we’re going to unpack later.”

Noah moved over her, taking her hand in his. Carefully he pulled her arm up above her head, his eyes raking over her before locking with hers.

“You’re absolutely sure?” He asked, his voice trembling. “You can say stop at anytime and I’ll stop. Like, full stop. You’re the one in control, Quinn.”

“Noah. I’m sure.”

His lips crashed into hers, needing no further encouragement. Her free hand cupped his cheek, hips rocking up against his, desperate to feel him there. Noah’s free arm wrapped around her waist, holding her body against as his lips moved over hers, his own hips rocking against hers, hitting just the right spot.

The two of them moved together, neither in a rush to get to it. His tongue traced her bottom lip and she parted her lips, her soft sigh as his tongue slipped inside her mouth swallowed up by him. While gentle in his exploration of her mouth his hips rocked against hers harder, pressing her down into the mattress. The sensations were at war with each other, nearly driving her over the edge once more. He was everywhere and still not where she needed him.

Noah pulled back, releasing her hand from his. He pulled his hand down to her cheek, running his thumb over her bottom lip, tugging slightly. With a smirk he brushed his lips over her cheek, across her jawline, down her throat. Quinn shivered, breath shaky as he reached her collarbone, the swell of her breast, before pulling her nipple into his mouth, the other one caught between his fingers. Electric waves scorched through her, straight down to her core. She felt his lips curve into a smile as he rocked his hips again before switching sides. With a curse she shifted beneath him, her one free hand tangling in his hair and tugging.

“Noah. Please,” she pleaded, hips lifting against his.

Noah lifted his head, glancing up at her. The sight of him like this, perfectly between her breasts, that lazy grin of his she loved so much on his stupidly perfect face was enough to knock the breath right out of her. He looked like an unsupervised kid in a fucking candy store.

“Do you know how often I’ve tried to picture your tits? Jesus fucking Christ. This is a dream come true. I could die right now and I would die happy. Have you seen these things?!”

Quinn couldn’t help but laugh. She never knew he was this easily pleased. If she had known she might have let him see them a lot sooner. Probably would have saved her a lot of time arguing with him, too.

“Noah. I see them every day. They’re kind of attached to me.”

Noah cleared his throat, still unable to hide the unbridled joy on his face. Boobs. They were just boobs. And he was acting like it was Christmas morning or some shit.

“Right. Back to business. But I have got to play with these more often. Holy shit, dude.”

“NOAH.”

“I’M SORRY!” He laughed, burying his face between them.

Quinn couldn’t help but join in his laughter. It had been just a little too long since she had heard him laugh like this. Months. All over a pair of boobs. He was downright giddy over it. And she loved every second of it. This was her Noah.

Noah pressed his lips in the valley between her breasts, his laughter dying down. She propped herself up on her elbows, watching as he slowly made his way south, stopping to pay extra attention to the spot just under her bellybutton, pressing his lips extra firmly against the scar there. The one her first boyfriend after she had met Noah left. Tears burned her eyes as she watched him drift lower, stopping on her hip, right at the edge of her panties.

“You good, Quinn?” He asked, his voice so gentle she almost forgot what they were doing.

“Yeah.” She nodded her head, forcing the memory away before it could take hold.

Noah slowly hooked his fingers in each side of her panties, his eyes on her, watching her for any signs she wanted to stop, slowly sliding them down her thighs, over her knees. Down around her ankles. And suddenly she was totally naked before him, illuminated only by the light from the movie still playing. The movie she had only watched a couple minutes of so far.

If it had been anyone else watching her so intently she would have been nervous. But it was Noah. The Noah who had seen her at her worst and still stuck around. The one who always took care of her, whether she wanted it or not.

Quinn watched as he stood at the foot of the bed, scrubbing his hand down his face as he looked at her, fully exposed now. Watched as he removed his pants, her eyes going wide when she saw him. There was no way he was going to fit. Oh, fuck.

“Uh, Noah? You could’ve warned me first. I-“ she swallowed. “I don’t think it’s gonna fit.”

Noah chuckled as he knelt between her legs, propping an ankle up on his shoulder. Nerves settled in her stomach, the reality of the situation hitting her. She was about to have sex with her best friend. And while she trusted him whole heartedly, she didn’t quite trust that she would be able to walk afterwards. She was either about to have the most incredible sex of her life, or it wouldn’t work and they would both end up frustrated even more frustrated.

“It’ll fit.” A soft kiss on the inside of her ankle. “Just gotta relax.”

Time slowed to a crawl as he trailed his lips up the inside of her leg, pausing mid thigh. She was about to ask him what he was doing when he attached his mouth to her thigh, sucking a dark mark there. He was marking her. Making sure she didn’t forget this any time soon. Anyone else and she would have been pissed. Instead, for him, her hips lifted in an attempt to urge him closer to where she wanted him.

Noah turned his attention to her other thigh, leaving another mark, this one higher up. Quinn looked down, cheeks flushed when she saw him paused at the apex of her thighs, his own eyes on her as he breathed her in. His impossibly long arms wrapped around her thighs, spreading them further apart than she thought possible, pinning them down. She didn’t think she had ever seen something so beautifully erotic in her life. If this was the only time she got to see him like this, she wanted it etched in her memory forever.

Quinn couldn’t look away, watching as his tongue flicked out, delicately tasting her. Felt his breath on her as he exhaled on a groan. So slowly she was borderline frustrated he traced every part of her with his tongue before completely burying his face in her, slipping his tongue inside of her.

“Fuck,” she gasped, attempting to move her hips against him. “Noah,” she whined, finding herself unable to move.

“Patience, baby. Gotta make sure you’re ready.” He sighed, circling her clit with his tongue. “Just a little taste. I promise.”

Quinn all but leapt off the bed as he pulled her into his mouth, shockwaves of pleasure racing throughout her body. Little taste her ass. He was devouring her, all lips and tongue and teeth as she writhed beneath him, another orgasm racing towards her. Another one she was helpless to stop, her body trembling as it slammed into her, knocking the breath from her lungs, his name leaving her lips on a broken cry.

Noah pulled back, dropping a soft kiss on her. Lips pressed to each of her hips, her bellybutton, as he moved up her body, giving her time to steady herself once more. Shaking she closed her eyes, willing her breathing to slow down. He was set on ruining her. She was sure of it.

“Still good?” He asked, peppering little kisses over her face.

“Absolutely,” she laughed weakly.

“Eyes on me, Quinn.” Slowly she opened her eyes, nodding her head. “You’re absolutely sure you want to do this?”

Noah’s eyes searched hers, his brow furrowed slightly, looking for any hint she wanted to stop. Any sign of hesitation. Her hand reached up, fingertips slowly tracing his features, committing him to memory. Things were about to change forever, and she wanted to remember him as he was now. Just her Noah.

“I’m sure.”

Noah shifted, lining himself up with her entrance, and for the first time she saw just how nervous he was. He knew this was going to change everything just as much as she did. And neither of them knew how.

Slowly, gently, he started to ease himself inside of her, their eyes still locked together. Just as the stretch became a little too much he pulled back slightly, dropping his head to press his lips to her shoulder as he pressed forward again, moaning into her skin. It burned slightly as he filled her a little more, but more than that she needed more. Needed to feel him all the way inside her.

“Noah,” she whimpered as he pulled back again, before thrusting into her, nearly completely filling her this time.

“Breathe, baby.” His shook as he lifted his head to look down at her. “Almost there, okay? Just a little more.”

This time he didn’t pull back, instead opting to slide his arms underneath her, pressing her body to his as he surged forward that little bit more, knocking the breath from her lungs. She had never felt this full before. It was somehow too much, yet not enough. She wanted to slow down for a minute, as she knew she should, give herself time to adjust, but needed him to start moving.

“Fuck. So fucking tight,” he groaned, his grip on her tightening. “Good job, baby. You did so good.”

Noah lowered his lips to hers, muffling her moans as he rocked his hips gently, testing her. Her hands clutched at his back, hips lifting to meet his, silently urging him on. It hurt, but only slightly. He moved again, keeping her pressed against him, holding her in place.

“Noah, please,” she pleaded, driven only by the intense need filling her. She needed him to properly fuck her more than she needed oxygen at this point.

“Just don’t wanna hurt you.” He shuddered as she clenched around him. “You’re okay?”

“Yes. Just, please, Noah,” she begged. “Fuck me.”

Noah withdrew painfully slow, before surging forward again, driving into her. Quinn clung to him, burying her face in his neck as he moved, desperately trying to muffle the ungodly noises she was making with every stroke. Sex had always been fun. Great, even. This was different. The way he angled his hips, hitting that spot inside of her every thrust, the feel of him filling her so completely she could feel every little ridge of his cock. The way he didn’t hold back and moaned and spoke directly into her ear. Telling her over and over how it felt being inside of her. She wasn’t going to last long. And from the sound of him, neither would he.

“Fuck, Quinn.” He cursed, his hips moving faster. “Need you to cum, baby.”

His hand slipped between their bodies, thumb pressing against her clit, rubbing frantically. Her teeth sank into his shoulder as she exploded around him, everything going dark briefly. Unable to hold on any longer, her body totally spent she dropped her head back, limbs falling to her sides. With unfocused eyes she watched him, studied the way his lips parted, how his breath hitched as his movements became sloppy, erratic, before he pulled out at the last second, releasing onto her stomach.

Dazed she laid there as he sat back on his heels, his own unfocused gaze falling on her belly. Slowly his eyes lifted to hers, and holding him there she reached down, swiping a finger through his cum. Noah’s jaw dropped just slightly as he watched her bring that finger up to her lips, popping it in her mouth so she could taste him.

“That. You. Fuck.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Can’t even speak. Sexiest thing you could have done right now.” He ran a hand through his hair, studying her a moment longer. “You okay?”

“Fucking fantastic, actually.” Quinn nodded her head, soft smile curving her lips. “10 out of 10. Highly recommend.”

Noah laughed, climbing off the bed to pull his pants back on. She watched in fascination as he kept glancing over at her, that boyish smirk back on his face. Almost like he couldn’t believe he had a naked girl in his bed. One currently covered in his cum, and probably looking absolutely wrecked. If his mission had been to ruin her for other men tonight, she was fairly certain he had accomplished that. Nothing would ever compare to what had just happened.

“I’ll be right back. Gonna grab some stuff so we can get you cleaned up.”

Quinn watched him walk out the door, tossing one last glance back at her. Her eyes fell to the TV to find the movie was long over. She propped herself up on her elbows, studying the mess on her stomach. Jesus, that was a lot.

The door clicked shut again and a warm rag dropped onto her stomach, another pressed between her thighs. Noah gently wiped her clean, tutting at her when she winced, flinching.

“Don’t even,” she grumbled. “You would be tender, too, if you’d just had your body split in half like that.”

“I wanted to be gentle.” Noah chuckled as he tossed the rag he had used between her thighs at his hamper, quickly cleaning up the mess in her stomach.

“Somehow I feel like that wouldn’t have mattered.”

“Hungry? Thirsty?”

Quinn shook her head, flopping back on his bed. All she really wanted right now was sleep. A soft blanket and sleep. She was spent. Exhausted. No energy left.

“Sleep. Just sleep.”

Noah shifted, moving her body around as he pulled the blanket back, laying beside her before pulling the blanket up over them. His arm slid under her, pulling her into his chest, one hand stroking her hair as her eyes closed. His lips pressed against the top of her head as she wrapped an arm and a leg around him, settling into her favorite position to cuddle him in. Whatever the consequences of what they did could be addressed in the morning. For now, she was happy and content.

Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @mrscevans @supersquirrel1996 @alwaysfightforwhoyouare

[probably-writing-x]

Doomed.

summary: okay so like conrad x reader where she’s belly’s best friend that went to cousins every summer and got with conrad and basically are dating like him/belly in s2 with everything going on with susannah and either while they’re still together or after they break up she goes to brown to tell him she’s pregnant and just very angsty 💗

You weren’t sure of the exact moment you’d lost Conrad. But part of you felt like it was doomed before it had even started. Like he was a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode, to disappear. Sometimes you thought he could see a future with you. And other times it felt like your whole relationship was simply him counting down the days. He broke your heart without ever really having it. The two of you were destined to end, as much as part of you wanted so badly to convince yourself that you wouldn’t.

“I’m just saying (y/n) we can leave any time you want, honestly. I’m obviously glad that you’re coming with me but I totally get it if you want to leave,” Belly assures you from the passenger seat as the two of you turn past the Cousins sign.

“Come on, it’s fine,” You return, “I wouldn’t have offered to drive if I didn’t feel okay about being here. Plus, this place has memories for all of us, I don’t want to lose that either.”

You glance out of the window to the houses passing by the car, the way they all seem to blur into one until you reach that one.

Jeremiah’s car is already parked up outside and him and Steven get out together, looking back as the two of you pull in.

“Well, it’s a good sign his car is here,” Belly points out the four by four parked up closest to the house.

You pull your keys from the ignition and take a deep breath, one that seems to rattle against your chest. For a moment, it all comes flooding back to you.

——Six Months Earlier——

“I really hope you’re not telling me that we drove all this way and you forgot the fucking keys,” You groan, wrapping your arms around yourself and rubbing your hands up your arms to keep the heat in a little.

“It’s a new car, okay? I’m not used to my keys being separate,” Conrad returns coldly, rummaging through his bag to find anything resembling the keys.

“Okay they’re not in there,” You shake your head, “Lets just find somewhere to stay or something.”

He stands up straight and looks at you, frowning, “This weekend was meant to be perfect. Drive all the way here, go to the beach, whole house to ourselves, we were-“

“Hey,” You cup his cheek, brushing a thumb over the skin, “Come on, we’re here together, I don’t care what we do.”

He leans into your touch and turns his chin to press his lips against your palm.

“Actually,” He pulls away from you, “I’ve got an idea.”

“I don’t trust that,” You grimace but he laughs and pulls your hand into his, dragging you behind him.

Both of you pile back into the car and he grins in your direction, driving you back away from the house and down the street in the opposite direction to the way you’d came in. You’d learnt that in the times when Conrad was being spontaneous, it was better to just let him do it. He got an idea and ran with it and it was better to run with him than try to pull him back.

“Okay so where are you taking us?” You ask him as he turns into another corner, eventually stopping the car.

When you look out of the windshield, you can just about make out the shape of the rolling waves in the dark, glistening a little in the clouded moonlight. You’re parked behind the dunes, a single spot in a clearing of the trees, the same trees that gather behind the car like a crowded shelter.

“I’ve got blankets and pillows in the back of the car from when you stayed at my dorm,” He explains, “We can set up a bed in the back, sleep in the car.”

“I love this life of luxury Fisher,” You joke.

“I’m sorry this didn’t work out like we thought it would.”

You reach over and squeeze his hand, “We’re together, aren’t we?”

You both climb out of the car and set up the pillows, blankets and comforters in the back of the car, folding the back seats down to give yourselves more space. Conrad reverses and turns the car so that the trunk faces out to the sea, noting that you’ll thank him for it in the morning when you see the view.

“There we go, that’s pretty good if you ask me,” You grin, “But I’m so tired I think I’d sleep anywhere.”

You get in beside him and both of you shuffle under the covers until you’re comfortable. His long legs fold under the comforter in your direction and you shift again to try and find the right spot.

“Connie I love you but could you please-“

“You what?” He stops you, leaning up onto his elbows.

“I-“ You feel your cheeks burn red hot at the words, “I just meant that I wanted you to move over-“

“You love me?” His voice is soft and full of excitement, his eyes creasing with the intensity of his smile.

You throw your hands over your face, wishing away the embarrassment, “Forget I said anything I didn’t mean-“

You feel him shift beside you until he’s hovering over your form, his hands reaching out to pull each of yours away from your face.

“You love me,” He confirms once again, “I love you more.”

You fight back a smile as you watch him speak the words, letting them echo in the space between you.

“Say it again,” You grin widely, your expression matching his.

Conrad chuckles and leans down to press his lips to yours, soft but yet so certain of himself. Unlike any time he’d kissed you before - this one sealed with love.

—— Now ——

“(Y/n)?” Belly calls over to you, “Are you coming?”

You look up to see all three of them stood at the doorway, leaving you in the driveway towards the house. You shake your head to clear away your reminiscent moments and look back to them.

“Yeah, sorry, just spaced out for a second,” You nod, hurrying your steps a little more in their direction.

When you all get into the house, the sound of his voice is what your ears instantly tune into. So distinct. So clear against the echoing walls.

“Dad I’ll talk to you later,” His voice snaps as he rounds the corner, stopping at the sight of the four of you.

Conrad’s eyes fall to Jere first, move to Belly and to Steven, before landing on you.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

You know he’s speaking to all of you, but you wince like the words were meant for your ears only.

“Enough of the knight in shining armour act, Conrad. We’re here to help,” Jeremiah defends, “This house means just as much to us as it does to you.”

“I don’t want to hear it, okay? I’ve got it under control,” Conrad returns, dragging a hand through his hair as he tears his eyes away from you.

“Really? Because it doesn’t fucking seem like it,” Jeremiah scoffs, “Be fucking honest with yourself Conrad, you’re just as lost as we are.”

“I can handle it!” Conrad raises his voice and you flinch instantly, your hands clenching as the anxiety courses through you.

His eyes drop back to you and his face softens, as if instantly aware of his impact.

And it takes you right back.

—— 3 Months Earlier ——

“I’m just saying I think it’s just a way better movie, you know?” You persist, opening the passenger side door of the car, “And the storyline is just so much better it’s like-“

You pause when you see him, his eyes drifting off to the road, his ears turned off to your words.

“Con? Are you listening?”

He glances up and back to you, “Oh, um, sorry, what did you say?”

You frown just a little and place your hand over his on the gearstick of the car, “Is something going on? You’ve been quiet ever since we got to the theater.”

It’s as if another light switches off in him when you ask, “No, no, I’m okay.”

“Con,” You reach up to brush the hair away from his forehead, “Talk to me.”

“I just-“ He pauses at your touch, as if pocketing it, “There’s just a lot going on, you know? With the funeral, and Jere, and college and Stanford and… I just don’t know how much more I can take.”

“Nobody’s asking you to take on all of this by yourself, okay?” You cup his cheek, “I’m here, you’ve got Laurel and Steven and Belly, you’ve got a whole family of people that want to help. Do you know that?”

He closes his eyes for a second and nods, and you move your hand down to his chest to feel the beating of his heart against you.

“You don’t need to do everything on your own,” You repeat, “I’m here.”

He places his hand over yours but something feels empty, like his heart isn’t beating for you in the way you’d felt before. His eyes glaze over a little like they don’t really see you but you repress it anyway.

The two of you drive back to his college dorm and collapse into his bed to watch a movie, or two, or three. It seemed like Conrad’s batteries had already run out for the day and you’d do anything in your power to let him recharge. You’d put on his favourite films, and laid down on his chest as he tucked one arm underneath his head. His other arm wasn’t around you, however, it was holding his phone, scrolling through aimlessly.

“Con?” You glance up at him, “Do you want to do something else? We don’t have to watch this if you don’t want to, we co-“

“It’s fine,” He snaps harshly, not glancing away from the blue light screen.

You swallow the lump in your throat and lean up onto your elbows, bumping against the wall of his dorm in his single bed.

“Okay well something’s obviously not fine,” You comment, “Talk to me Conrad let me-“

“Just fucking stop with your ‘talk to me shit’,” He doesn’t raise his voice but he practically spits the words at you, tossing his phone down onto the side, “I don’t need you to be a therapist, okay? I don’t need that.”

“I’m not trying to be your therapist, I’m trying to be your girlfriend,” You defend, feeling the strength slip from you in the tremble in your hands.

“Well maybe I don’t need that either!”

He raises his voice then and you can tell he regrets it. He pushes himself up from the bed and stands, dragging a hand through his hair.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You speak and instantly hate yourself for the way the words tremble on your tongue, the way your whole body feels numb.

“I-“ He stops himself, pacing a little across the room, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then what did you mean it like? Because if that is what you want, then that’s what you’ll get. I’ll leave. I’ll go right now,” You sit up on the bed, “I’m not waiting around for you to change your mind.”

“(Y/n) I didn’t mean-“

“Go fuck yourself Conrad,” You state, standing up and grabbing your shoes and bag from the floor.

“(Y/n)!” He reaches out a hand and grabs you, turning you around to him.

“Tell me you want me to stay,” You look between each of his eyes, tears spilling out of your own, “Tell me you want me to be here, that you want me to be your girlfriend, that you still meant what you said when you told me you loved me. Tell me you want this.”

He’s silent, his lips parting with no words, his eyes filling like yours.

“Goodbye, Con.”

—— Now ——

You were stood in the shell of the room you used whenever you were in Cousins, it feeling oddly empty without Susannah’s touches dotted around. She’d leave you fresh towels on the sheets, and a new candle burning on the nightstand. This time, those little bits were missing.

Come to think of it, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d slept in this room. It got to a point where you’d stay in Conrads every night, even before the two of you were together. It started with late night conversations and transpired into you falling asleep on one side of his bed, then the two of you coming back late and stumbling through the dark into his room, then the two of you falling in love. You shake the thought away as quickly as it had arrived.

You sit down on the mattress and take a deep breath, glancing around at the room that you’d practically been brought up in - every summer spent within these walls. You weren’t ready to lose this house, it was simply another change in your life you weren’t ready to accept.

Your hand moves to rest on your stomach, already swollen and growing underneath the baggy t-shirt you had on. You take a deep breath and smooth over the skin, terrified of the idea of life being beneath your touch.

Before you can think any more, there’s a light knock at the door and you quickly drop your hand away.

“Sorry, it’s me,” Conrad pokes his head around the door, “Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

You shift over on the bed and he sits down beside you, glancing at your eyes before looking down to your tummy, and back up, as if he’s checking you over.

“How are you feeling?”

You swallow the lump in your throat.

——Two Months Earlier ——

The drive to Brown had never churned your stomach like this. Maybe that was the morning sickness - did that happen this early? Another thing to google.

You hadn’t spoken a word to Conrad since you’d left that day. The funeral was two weeks after, and you’d avoided him for the entire day. You didn’t need anything else to make the day worse, and neither did he.

But, only a couple of days after that, you’d seen lines on a test that confirmed all of your worst fears, all of your dreaded expectations.

You were pregnant. A month pregnant, from just before you and Conrad had split up. Could the timing be any worse?

You pull up into the parking lot and let out a shaky breath. You still knew his schedule from when you’d meet him from classes or know when he’d be free for you to call him. He’d be coming out of a biology lab any minute and going to his favourite spot by the water on campus just behind the building that nobody seemed to think existed. That’s where you wait, on one of the benches just on the edge of the water, your entire body trembling.

You hear him before you see him, mumbling a goodbye to one of his classmates as he circles around the corner towards the back of the building. He looks down at his phone before stuffing it back into his pocket, sighing deeply before looking up. His entire body stops in its tracks.

“(Y/n),” He exhales, closing the space between you until he’s stood in front of the bench, “What are you doing here?”

“We need to talk,” You manage to force out, clenching your hands together to stop them from shaking.

“Yeah, you’re right, we do,” He crouches down in front of you, “I’ve been thinking abo-“

“Con,” You cut him off, watching as the fragments of hope seem to dissipate from his eyes, “I’m pregnant.”

You see his shoulders drop a little as if the heaviest weight has towered down onto them.

“You’re-“ He clears his throat, “You’re pregnant.”

“About a month,” You confirm, “Before you ask, yes it’s definitely yours and no I have no idea what I’m doing.”

He seems to compose himself quickly, kicking into fight or flight mode, and he drops his books onto the floor, shifting so that he’s sat beside you. Cautiously, he reaches out and takes your hands into his.

“Are you okay?”

“Con did you not hear what I said?” You scoff, unable to keep eye contact with him for any longer.

“I know what you said, but I want to know if you’re okay first.”

“Well it’s not exactly been the easiest month,” You pull one hand free from his and drag it through your hair, letting him still hold your other cold hand between his, “And I know you have a lot going on and I’m sorry that this is awful timing but I-“

“Woah, woah, woah, don’t apologise for anything,” He shakes his head, “This isn’t your fault (y/n).”

You’re silent.

“And, hey, we’ll figure it out. Whatever we choose to do, whatever you choose to do, we’ll make it work. And we can-“

“See that’s the thing though, isn’t it Conrad? There isn’t a we anymore.”

He pauses, his grip loosening on you as if his hands have gone numb. His eyes drop to the floor before he glances back up, seemingly holding less hope than he had before.

“We’re not together anymore and this isn’t going to be the reason that changes,” You let out a breath you didn’t realise you’d been holding, “Of course you need to know because this is as much your baby as it is mine, but we’re not… how do we even begin to raise this baby when we can’t even take care of ourselves?”

“We’ll figure it out,” He nods as if trying to force some sort of certainty from him and into you, “We’ll do our research and we’ll speak to the doctor and we’ll read all the books and… we’ll make it work.”

You look down at your tummy, across to where his hand held yours, back up to his eyes - and it all just feels… numb. He wasn’t yours, and yet you were carrying his baby. You weren’t his, and yet this news had just changed his entire existence. A baby. You feel your stomach somersault once more and let out a shaky breath, no longer breathing for you but breathing for two.

—— Now ——

“Your scan is soon, right?” Conrad asks, “I did some research and they said that by now you should be able to-“

“Con,” You cut him off, looking down at your hands in your lap.

He frowns, “What is it?”

“I need you to be honest with me,” You let out s breath, “I need you to tell me if this is what you want. Because if it’s not, you can jump ship. I won’t hate you for it, I won’t resent you. But you need to decide whether this, all of this, is what you want.”

“(Y/n),” He speaks your name like it’s a breath clinging to his lips, “You seriously think I’d leave you to do this by yourself?”

You half-laugh, tears brewing in your eyes, “I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Hey,” He takes both of your hands into his, turning both of you to face each other, “A whole lot of stuff in my life is shitty right now, and I’ve made a lot of really fucked up decisions that I can’t take back. But not this. This is my lifeline (Y/n). You and this baby, it’s my lifeline.”

You swallow the lump in your throat.

“I’ll be better, I’ll be better than I was, I’ll do it all better.”

You look into his eyes, eyes that you’d once been so sure you could trust with your life. The lips that had kissed promises into you that you were sure would never break. The hands that you once thought would catch you from any fall. But all of it holds such an uncertainty now. Those eyes are the same ones that didn’t shed a tear when they broke your heart. And those lips are the same ones that yells and curses spilled so freely from. Those hands are the same ones who no longer wanted to hold you when you needed them the most. And that’s why, despite the certainty you want to convince yourself is held behind his words, you drain all emotion from your voice and say;

“Will you?”

[thedeviltohisangel]

For A Fortnight There We Were: He Got My Heartbeat

a/n: EV AND CAL ARE BACK! the response to the first one shot of this was so crazy and became so popular and I could have never imagined! this takes place back on the MOTA set when they start to wonder if they really are started to feel tingly for each other or if the characters are bleeding into their lives. please shoot me any requests for future one shots or blurbs since I love being able to fill in all the little blanks for you guys. standing by to chat about these two (or callum in general lbr) and am thinking of add austin x popstar!oc to this universe? idk, let me know your thoughts. love you all and see you on the flip side...

She heard the sound of the director cutting and ignored it anyway. He did too. Evelyn used the arm around his neck to pull him closer and prevent his lips from slipping off of hers. Her hips shifted forward on their own accord and she felt something twitch between her legs. 

“Jesus, fuck-Ev, I’m sorry-”

“-oh, God, it’s my fault-” She fell backwards off the chaise as she hurried to scramble out of his lap. 

“No, Evelyn, don’t, it’s fine!” Callum was racing to grab the abandoned bed sheet from the ground as she was struggling to conceal her chest from the production crew. “Can someone get her a fucking robe?” he yelled as he was finally able to wrap her in the polyester. 

“Please don’t touch me.” Her shoulder shrugged quickly to rid his hand from her skin. Her lips were still burning from his kisses. Her nose on fire from where it had nuzzled with his. Her chin and waist aching for the feel of his hands again. She doesn’t think she would be able to hold onto her sanity if his hands were on her ever again. 

“I’m sorry.” He held his hands up in surrender as a PA emerged with a fluffy white bathrobe for her to tuck her arms into. Not a glance from her was spared his direction as she stood and hurried off the set. 

Callum hung his head between his legs as they offered him a robe but he had no motivation to grab it. He was only able to think how stupid he was. How silly it was to let himself get lost in the sensation of kissing her and touching her and making love to her. It was all acting and for the camera and none of it was real but it had felt so tangible. Like even after she pulled away he could still reach out and grab it and keep it and never let it go. But he had fucking ruined it because he wasn’t able to control his arousal for her. 

“Falling in love with your co-star…not always the best choice. Especially when they happen to be married.” He scoffed at Tom’s words as he sat next to him, pulled on the robe to protect his modesty in front of one of his heroes.

“I’m not in love with her,” he mumbled around the lump in his throat. “We’re just friends.” The hotel room set was quiet now. Tom had cleared it out as he watched the two young actors fall apart right in front of him. The intimacy had been a step too close to what they really craved to maintain any sense of stability. 

“I see,” he responded with a nod. They had said cut nearly five whole minutes before the two of them had even thought to stop. The intimacy coordinator had watched the scene playout with a perplexed look as none of the choreography had been followed, they had just kissed and groaned and moved their hips the way that had felt right and normal and it had worked perfectly. It had felt like they had been doing it forever. Like they were meant to. “Sometimes, lines get blurred on projects. It’s okay to admit that to each other.”

“And, hypothetically, how would one tell if the lines between the characters and the actors are blurring or if the feelings are real regardless of the character?”

“Hypothetically?”

“Completely.”

“You talk to each other.” Callum chuckled. Sometimes the simplest answer was the correct one. 

“She didn’t seem like she wanted to talk to me.” The look on her face when he had tried to reach out and comfort her would haunt him. The rejection slapping across his face like a biting cold wind. The way he had bared his soul just an inch to try and connect to her and protect her and she turned him away easily.

“Give her time. Everything you are feeling is amplified for her. A few more complications.” Evelyn was in the middle of a very public legal fight. There were houses and cars and a plane to divide and assign value to and storage units of furniture and designer clothing. Businesses they had invested in together and land they had purchased to build a life on.

“Maybe it’s not worth it. Maybe I let sleeping dogs lie.” Callum had already watched the way phone calls with her lawyers and emails from her manager and texts from her ex took a toll on her day in and day out. It would be unfair of him to add one more burden to her shoulders. 

“Or maybe you don’t and it turns out to be the best decision of your life, Callum.” Maybe it was the start of a fairytale. Maybe it was the love that they both were meant to have in their life. Maybe it was the kind of love that could soothe the ache in their chest and fill the hole in their heart and mend the cracks in their souls. 

Maybe it was exactly what they both needed.

----

The binder of her lines for the next day of shooting was sitting in her lap as her hairstylist brushed out her 1940s era curls but they just looked like blurry letters on the page. All she could think about was the look on Callum’s face when she had recoiled from his touch. She thinks he looked genuinely hurt. Like she was rejecting a vulnerable piece of him that he had offered. 

“Is it a bad idea to go apologize to him?” she asked the trailer full of people. They had all been quiet from the moment she entered and had been waiting for her to talk first. “Like, do I just leave it be or do I go say something?” 

“Are you just saying sorry or are you trying to talk about why it went down like that?” her assistant asked. Evelyn chewed on her bottom lip as she thought about, leaning back in her chair and shoving the binder onto the vanity. 

“It’s only going to get more awkward if we don’t do the latter.” With a sigh, she grabbed her water bottle and got down from the chair. “I’m going to put on something comfy then go see if he’s in his trailer. Can someone practice with me on how to not say that I’m confusing the characters relationship and emotions for real life?”

“Or you just be honest that maybe all your feelings are real life. He’s giving it right back, Ev, we’ve all seen it.” 

“And then what happens? I ask him to twiddle his fucking thumbs while Logan drags me through court for the rest of my life?” She tucked her feet into a pair of UGGs and grabbed her phone from where it was charging. “No matter if anything is going on between Cal and I, he deserves better than what I have to offer him or anyone right now.” There was no reason to drag someone she cared about as much as him into this mess. No reason to ruin whatever relationship they currently had if she didn’t have to. Evelyn had gotten used to seeing him and Golo at the end of every day and running lines and laughing while taking a smoke break when they all got food delivered and hung out as a group. He was always sending her some funny video saying it reminded him of her and teasing her about how his mustache tickled her when they kissed and she was happy around him in a way she hadn’t been in a long time. 

“Ev? Did you hear what Tracy said?” 

“No, I was-” She stopped when they were all smiling at her like they knew all her secrets. “Whatever. None of you are helping. I’ll just fucking wing it and see you later.” Evelyn took a few deep breaths of fresh air and walked to the trailer in question only a few yards away, Golo popping his head into the window and barking once when he noticed her arrival. 

“My Evelyn door bell was ringing.” Callum opened the door before she had the chance to knock and her momentary freeze was interrupted by the dog that was eager for her attention. 

“Hi, baby,” she cooed as she squatted to scratch at his ears and laugh around his kisses. “It’s only been a couple days, Golo!” 

“He told me you give the best belly scratches and he wants them everyday,” Callum said as he leaned his back against the doorway. “You want to come in or you just swung by to see this one?” She stood up and pulled her sweatshirt down to cover her exposed skin.

“I wanted to talk about earlier. Unless now isn’t a good time or unless you didn’t want to talk about it all.” He paused for a beat as he thought about the two options she had just presented. One offered an understanding of whatever it was that was palpable between them. There would be no more guessing. But there was the trap. Because if the answer was that the lines had just blurred. That the tension was based in the characters and only existed on set, then he would rather not know. He would rather float through the turmoil of not knowing because at least his heart had a chance at remaining whole.

“No, we can talk about it.” Callum opened the door wider and stepped to the side as she and his dog crossed the threshold. “You want a bottle of water? Something else?” 

“Just water is fine.” Evelyn sat in a chair and wiped her sweaty palms on the top of her thighs. He handed her a bottle of water and leaned against the wall opposite. “I, uh, I wanted to apologize for how I acted earlier. I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that, I know it was just an accident. And it was my fault anyway. I shouldn’t have deviated from what we discussed with the intimacy coordinator. That is what they are here for and it was inappropriate of me to…do what I did.” Kiss him like it was real. Move her hips in the hopes she would catch some friction between her legs. Observe the look on his face as he had acted out his orgasm. She had never found the way Logan looked when he came particularly mesmerizing. But that’s how she would describe the feeling of looking at Callum.

“Takes two to tango. Nothing to apologize for.” He looked down at his feet and Evelyn sat, waiting for him to say something more. Something further. Anything. 

“Ok. Yeah, ok. I’ll get out of here.” She stood and stared at him for a beat but he seemed incapable of looking at her. She probably disgusted him. Just wanted her to promise to never do it again so he could move on with his life and his career. And the quicker she left, the quicker she could go to her rental flat and cry in the shower with a bottle of white wine. 

Her right hand was around the doorknob when his hand encircled her left wrist. She paused.

“It’s not just the characters bleeding into my thoughts and actions,” he whispered as her eyes closed and her forehead rested against the door. “My feelings for you are as real they fucking get.”

“Callum…”

“I know. I know. Tell me to get over it and I will, Ev. Tell me you only view me as a friend and I will work every goddamn to get over it to keep you in my life. Tell me I am losing my mind.” Evelyn was breathless as she was trying to find the courage to turn and face him. The grip on her wrist was loosening, Cal admitting defeat and letting her go, so she turned and slipped her hand so it was holding his instead.

“You are losing your mind. But I guess I am too.” He looked up at her with eyebrows raised in surprise. A step forward closed any gap between them. “My life…my life is so complicated right now. And you don’t deserve being dragged into that.” They both ached to touch each other but didn’t want to upset the current balance between them. 

“I don’t want to complicate things for you. That is the last thing I would ever want,” he breathed. 

“But I also don’t know when things will ever not be complicated. Logan…he’s dragging things out. Trying to suck me dry. Trying to make me suffer.” Everyone around her was telling her that he was trying to bully her into getting back with him. That he didn’t want this divorce in the first place and would make her life so miserable until she cracked and broke down and went crawling back to him. 

“You tell me what you want to do, Ev. I’ll wait if you ask me to. Wait until the timing is right and we can try to do this the right way.” It would pain him to wait but at least he would know she was waiting on the other side. Having her at arm's length was better than not having her at all.

“Or.” Her voice dropped to a whisper and she brought a shaking, unsure hand to his cheek. Callum’s mouth parted at the contact, his own hand resting on top of hers as he felt like he could drop to his knees and worship her at the simple contact alone. “Or I stop letting him dictate a single second of my life. And we go do something sickeningly normal tomorrow night. Just the two of us.”

“Austin will be heartbroken,” he teased. She giggled. “I can take you to my favorite pub in Chelsea. They can be discrete.” 

“Ok.”

“Ok.” Her hand dropped from his cheek and she took a step back towards the door. 

“I’ll see you bright and early, Mr. Turner.” 

“Counting down the seconds, Ms. Shaw.” She turned away from him with a twinkling laugh and exited with a goodbye to Golo as well. “I’ve got a date tomorrow, mate. What the fuck do I wear?” Golo merely blinked at him. 

He doesn’t know how he had managed to reach the heights he was currently soaring to. The most beautiful woman on the planet asking him to take her to a pub. The most talented woman on the planet touching him like he was precious porcelain. He would do anything just for her eyes to land on him. His chest ached to protect her and care for her and let her know she was never alone because she would always have him. The weight of what tomorrow night could mean for him and for her and for a potential future resting on his shoulders. He planned to rise to the challenge just like she deserved. Fight for her to heal. Fight for her to find peace and love.

Fight for their love story to end with the three words she deserved more than anything.

Happily ever after.

[idanceuntilidie]

I get so hugry when you say you love me.

yandere male x gn reader.

Tw: Yandere behaviours| Mentions of kidnapping| Cannibalism| Slightly suggestive at only one point.

Requests open

It took me longer to write than I thought it would honestly and it’s not even that long. Sorry for that.

Now if you excuse me Im gonna eat a bowl of cereal and yes that is my dinner.

Turns out there is not many things you can do without your limbs.

Your eyes wandered lazily around the bright pink ceiling, you were hungry and bored. You don’t remember how many days Gummy kept you in his house.

No internet, no tv, music was allowed only on CDs or cassettes but you would only be able to listen to it when he was in the room with you. The room itself was, heavily decorated.

Very scene, very cool, you would appreciate it more if you didn’t spend most of your time laying down and being held against your will. Surround by pillows and plushies, on a huge ass bed.

Gummy took care of you. He made sure you were dressed up so nicely. He liked to talk about how when he was younger he had so many dolls and he could dress them up.Then he would look into your eyes and smile, you saw the same crazed look every time, then he would say that you are like a doll now. So pretty and his. It was easy to guess that he would do little fashion shows with you. From dresses to suits. He bought them just for you. Right now you wore very loose clothing that you are sure was his, you could tell by the smile and how… excited he got.

He rarely went out of the house. He fears that somehow you would leave him.

How the fuck would you even do that? Your legs and arms were chopped off. The worst part is that sometimes you still can feel them, sometimes it’s quick, other time you feel the burning sensation which makes you cry out.

So Gummy made sure not to leave the house all that much, when he trusts you more maybe, just maybe he will.

Groceries were kind of hard to get.

Your diet mainly consisted of fruits, vegetables. After some time you might get sick of those. The taste would get bland and well it made you sometimes want to throw up.

Currently you were waiting for the dinner, by waiting you mean you were laying on your back because moving without limbs was actually really hard for you. He promised that today he would prepare something great.

You hoped that maybe today he would give you an actual dinner.

And he did, it looked too good to be true.

“Hi sunshine! Sorry for taking so long I wanted your first proper dinner to be perfect!”

You heard him giggle.

He helped you sit up and you looked over his shoulder to see such a beautiful food behind him. Finally no more fruits. He hummed as he went to bring up the plate.

It smelled so good, you were a bit taken back since you didn’t know he would be able to cook anything else than water.

He began to feed you, it still was in fact so embarrassing every single time.

You chewed slowly, looking away from him. He laughed happily when he saw you enjoyed his cooking. It didn’t take you long to finish, Gummy put the plate away and basically pounced on you. You shrieked when he playfully licked your lips saying how good you taste like.

“I just ate that means you are just tasting your own fucking cooking!”

“Yea I know”

You tried to bite him, it only made him chuckle and grab your face.

“You taste amazing, my point still stands, and your meat was so easy to prepare you would have never guessed.”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘my meat’?”

He let go of your face. He smiled eerily while he tapped the nub of your arm.

“The rest is for me, I will have a part of you inside me! Isn’t that romantic?”

Your stomach squeezed painfully, eyes widening. Did he.. Oh God. You felt the vomit it your mouth, Gummy laughed as he pinched your nose and covered your mouth.

“You better swallow and not waste my cooking.”

You didn’t want to, eyes blurring due to lack of oxygen. You didn’t want to, but when your eyes locked with his, hot tears streaming down your face, he just smiled.

[elusivewildflower]

More Than Friends | Luke Glanton x F! Reader

Pairing: Luke Glanton (Roommate / Best Friend AU!) x F! Reader

Summary: This is a continuation of Test Ride and is pure smut. You decide to cross that invisible line between friends and lovers by complying with Luke's request.

Warnings: voyeurism, mutual masturbation.

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: I'm not sure what got into me last night because I managed to crank out Test Ride and this before crashing into bed at nearly 7 a.m. Not to mention, I have at least three other fics I was supposed to be working on instead. I guess sometimes when you get an idea you just have to run with it....and I hope y'all enjoy! Special shout out to all of the Goose Groupies for this, but especially @hederasgarden for giving me the idea that reader watches Luke, as well as @lloydsbitch and @gooseloverfiction for hyping me up as I got ready to write this.

As soon as you enter your shared apartment with Luke, the two of you part ways to your respective bedrooms. Shutting the door behind you, you rest your weight against it and cover your face with your hands. You cannot believe what just happened between you. Sure, the two of you have always been flirtier than friends should be, but there was a line that had never been crossed. Until now, that is.

It was one thing to accidentally get off from the rumbling of his motorcycle’s engine while sitting behind him, but for him to become aroused at the knowledge? He’d always been teasing, but for him to straight up ask for your ruined panties? That fine line between friends and lovers was certainly blurring. And why, for the love of God, was the thought of him masturbating to your soaked panties so fucking hot?! 

You toss your head back until it gently slams into the door and let out a groan. This was fucking uncharted territory and you knew you should be careful, but all you wanted to do was give him exactly what he asked for. Your fingers deftly unbutton your shorts and slide them down your thighs. There was a dark-colored stain in the crotch and you immediately knew your underwear must look ten times worse. Kicking off your shoes and shorts, you remove your panties and inspect the damage. Damn near every inch of the tiny piece of fabric was soaked in your arousal. 

Despite the ache in your lower belly, you felt your body begin to respond to your lewd thoughts. Your walls clenched around nothing and your heart raced in your chest. Were you really about to do this? You set your underwear down on your bed as you remove your top and bra, heading into your ensuite bathroom to slip on your black satin robe. Padding barefoot back into your room, you take in a deep breath to calm your nerves and grab your dirty panties. 

Fuck, here we go….

Upon entering his room, Luke couldn’t wait another second before pleasuring himself. His boots were kicked off and pants unbuttoned simultaneously. He’d been hard since the moment he realized your nails digging into his skin wasn’t from fear but from your arousal. Then, you had to go and orgasm three more times on the way back home. Sure, he was partly to blame – after all, he did purposefully give the bike throttle at times when he didn’t need to. Like at the stop light right before their apartment complex. At that point, you couldn’t even hold back your moans anymore and Luke’s cock twitched excitedly in his jeans. Fuck, he was so damn hard that it fucking hurt. 

His jeans and boxers were pushed down just far enough to release his straining cock. Luke’s large hand wrapped around his shaft as he made himself comfortable on the bed – his back pressed against the headboard. He couldn’t lie and say he didn’t wish to have your panties – or better yet – to have you in here with him. But, the two of you were friends; best friends, even. He’d give anything to be more, but he’d never force you into anything you didn’t want. If that meant he had to suffer with his feelings for you in order to remain close, only being allowed a few flirtatious remarks and touches here and there, then so be it. This certainly wasn’t the first time he’d masturbated to the thought of you, but it was the first time you’d known about it. 

A sudden, soft, knock on his bedroom door interrupted the languid pace in which he stroked his cock. His heart leapt in his chest at the sound, some small part of him had been hopeful you’d take him up on his request. When your voice carried through the door, telling him you had something for him, his dick twitched excitedly in his grip. 

Luke wet his lips and gently cleared his throat before speaking. “Come in,” he called to you. 

When you opened the door to his room, you weren’t entirely sure what you’d find. You knew what you had hoped to find, but boy, what you saw was even better than you imagined. 

Luke’s hand was wrapped around his thick and veiny cock, slowly pumping up and down as a stream of pre-cum leaked from his angry, swollen, head. You would’ve been completely captivated by the sight if it hadn’t been for the deep and wanton moan that rumbled in his chest. As your attention shot up to his face, you realized the cause of his reaction. His baby blues – that were now so dark you could hardly call it blue anymore – were focused solely on the panties hanging from your fingertips. 

You somehow managed to find your voice and speak as seductively as possible. “I believe you wanted these?” You asked with a small smirk, waving the panties around teasingly. 

“Oh, fuck yes.” Came Luke’s fast reply as he gave himself a gentle squeeze, forcing even more pre-cum to leak from his tip. 

Stepping further into the room, you left enough distance for you to easily toss the damp clothing in his direction. With lightning fast reflexes, Luke’s free hand caught your panties and let out another moan. His forefinger and thumb rubbed the soft material before he brought them to his nose and inhaled your scent deeply. 

“Oh, fuck.” You nearly repeated Luke’s earlier words as you felt your knees grow weak. 

A moment later and you had to reach for the chair beside you for stability as Luke sucked your panties into his mouth while maintaining eye contact. The hand that was wrapped around his shaft picked up speed as he thoroughly enjoyed sucking every last bit of flavor from your cum-soaked undies. 

You tasted heavenly, just as he always thought you would. If he wasn’t so close to blowing his load – something he desperately needed – he’d pin you down to his bed and lap at your folds for hours. He wouldn’t stop until you were crying for relief. Oh, he’d never get enough of your taste. When he was sure he couldn’t siphon any more of your release from the thin piece of fabric, he removed it from his mouth. He took in the state of you and tsked. 

“Take a seat, angel, before you fall over.” He ordered, nodding towards the chair you held onto so tightly. 

You didn’t have it in you to even try to argue with his command and simply plopped yourself into the seat. 

“Good girl,” he praised lowly. “Now, sit there and watch as I cum all over your panties.”

You felt as if you were in a trance as you watched him place your underwear into the palm of his hand and resume stroking his cock. Luke’s head fell back to the headboard as he began shamelessly chasing his release. 

Even though you had already broken your record for orgasms in one day, your body craved another. Your skin felt as if it were on fire as you untied the belt that kept your robe shut, desperately seeking any bit of cold air that you could. As your breasts fell on display, Luke let out a needy grunt. Before you even realized it, your hand was snaking its way down your torso to settle in the apex of your thighs. You could feel your sixth, and hopefully final, orgasm ready to release within you. 

“Go ahead and touch yourself, sweetheart. Need you to come with me.” Luke managed to pant out in between grunts and groans of pleasure.

All it took was one full circle around your clit and you were coming. You fought to keep your eyes open so that you could watch as Luke reached his orgasm at the same time. One long guttural moan resounded in his chest as he shot rope after rope of cum. Both of you lazily stroked yourselves through the waves of your orgasms before falling into silence. The only sound in the room was your shared heavy breathing. 

After several moments, Luke broke the silence with a cheeky smile on his face. “Do you want these back now, or later?” He asked teasingly, raising the panties up for you to see. If you thought they had been ruined before, well, now they were well and truly fucked. He had managed to land most of his release on his hand, which subsequently soaked the fabric he held. However, you did notice that there were several drops of cum splattered on his lower stomach. 

Gathering your bearings, you push yourself up from your seat. You don’t bother to shut your robe as you saunter over towards him and Luke lets out a low whistle as he watches you approach. You slide your pointer finger through the waistband and steal the panties away from him, letting out an appreciative hum as you inspect them. A second later and you’re carelessly tossing them to the floor. 

“Hey, I could’ve kept— Oh.” Luke’s protest was cut short as you swiped your tongue across the exposed skin of his stomach. The salty taste of his essence was familiar, but uniquely his – and you thought it was delicious. 

“You still can.” You respond simply with a shrug, tossing a quick glance up to his face before you wrap a hand around his softening cock. With a gentle suck and a few licks, you had him all cleaned up. 

Luke’s breathing had gotten heavier, his pupils dilated as he watched you. He gave a shake of his head and within an instant he snatched you up, pulling you onto the bed with him. Pinning your body to the mattress with his own, you were greeted by the feeling of his returning erection pressed against your thigh. “You’re gonna be the fucking death of me, sweetheart.” 

Looks like your new record of orgasms in one day wasn’t stopping at just six…..

[seresinhangmanjake]

In the Night

Dad!Jake “Hangman” Seresin x female reader

Summary: You’re his once again, but Jake can’t shake the nightmares of where you leave him, this time taking your daughter with you. 

Notes: This was another one suggested by an anon. It’s the slightest bit different, but I did my best. Mostly fluff, really, and love stuff. Hurt/comfort. I love how my plan was to make this a drabble and my brain was just like ‘nope!’

Part of the Oh, Baby universe, takes place between Oh, Baby and His Girls.

Warnings: I mean, nightmares, I guess. Idk if that’s a warning. Cursing. Probably it. 

Words: 2419

Oh, Baby Masterlist / Masterlist

Oh Baby (Previous Part), His Girls (Next Part)

---

Jake didn't have dreams, and he didn’t get nightmares. He didn’t have mountainous worries or subconscious fears that could wiggle their way into the crevices of his brain to make themselves known after closing his eyes at night. He had clear goals and a planned future that nothing would, or ever did, stand in the way of. His pure drive didn’t offer spare time to imagine negative possibilities, and that way of living served him well. It proved an effective method to get him where he wanted to be. It got him into the Navy. It got him to California. It led to him participating in missions rarely offered to others. It was a way of living that eventually brought him to you. You, who immediately fucked up his balanced lifestyle.

Before you, Jake had convinced himself he had complete control over every element of his life, and that extended to his unconscious. Then you decided to walk right into his line of sight, and with one word from your pretty lips, you gained full access to the front door of his brain, which you thoroughly abused at all hours of the day. You made your mark and tossed a wrench into the well-oiled gearwork that operated his perfect functioning and completely took over. He lost control over parts of himself he didn’t expect, and from that very moment, his nights were filled with dreams.

In the beginning, they were sweet extensions of his time with you at the bar; innocent flirting and jokes—the times that built your friendship despite him always wanting more. Then there were kisses that you'd never shared suddenly seeping in and moments when he brought you into his bed. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t mind those dreams—liked them even, until he realized he was in love with you. After that, they changed. The longer he went without telling you how he felt, the more his dreams began to morph into punishments for being a coward that had him sweating and shooting up in bed. And once you disappeared from his life entirely, those punishments twisted into absolute torture. That was when he got his first true taste of a nightmare.

When you finally returned to him with your baby daughter, he imagined all of that would go away. He had you back, he had a beautiful little girl, and he was sure there was absolutely nothing else to worry about. 

It was the third night of you being back in his arms that proved him wrong. The sweating returned; the gasping; his torso shooting up in bed. Painfully reminiscent and all of it more potent than before.

They were usually the same. You were walking away from him, drifting further with each step until your figure blurred with the indistinguishable background. You walked with ease while he felt he was trudging through seas of thick mud, the uppermost layer drying and cracking under the intense heat of the sun, only adding to his struggle to get to you. Eventually, he would wear out. You’d be gone, and he’d be up to his torso in mud so solid and dry it was practically on its way to becoming arable soil. 

Sometimes they were worse—harder to shake off the next day. Those nightmares had Eve. Her tiny hand would be reaching out for him just before you pulled her away with a blank expression on your face and disappeared behind a maze of doors. In the nightmare, he always laughed at the cruelty. His mind let him know that enough doors to fill a funhouse made up the labyrinth that kept him from you and his daughter, and yet he didn’t even have the key to the first one. No hope of getting you back. A useless effort.

They always destroyed him.

—--

His eyes were wide open, too wide, staring at the wall on the other side of his bedroom as he tried to calm his breathing. His heart was a jackrabbit in his heaving chest; bedsheets damp under his palms.

For the twenty-second night in a row, he’d been forced awake by the nightmares, panic overwhelming his entire body, only to look over and find you safe and sound beside him. And if you were beside him, then he knew his daughter was bundled comfortably in her crib down the hall. The instant relief to his mind did not stretch throughout the rest of him. 

Jake groaned and rubbed a hand over his sweaty brow. His nerves were shot. Overstimulated. They felt wiggly under the layers of his skin.

“Jake?”

He sighed. The concern in your sleepy voice grew with each night he failed to keep from waking you, and he hated the way his name borderline quivered off your lips.

“Go back to sleep, Honey,” he said, but you were sitting up before the words were fully out of his mouth. Stubborn woman. He would’ve chuckled but the energy to do so wasn’t within him.

Your fingers brushed back locks of his ruffled hair, then your palm cupped his cheek and you turned his head until your eyes met. Your skin was cool against his flushed face, and he wrapped his fingers around your wrist, holding your touch steady as he leaned into it. He never wanted to wake you, but goddamn did he love to savor in realizing the nightmares weren’t reality.

“Jake, what is going on?” you asked.

“Nothing.”

Your lips twitched to the side and you nibbled on the inside of your cheek. He knew what that meant; he was caught in a lie, one he'd told a handful of nights now, and that lie was beginning to bother you. He was ready to tell you everything, just to rid of the sadness in your eyes, but you beat him to it. 

“Are you having dreams?” 

Eyebrows raising, Jake’s lips parted. Your thumb grazed over the bottom one. 

“I had them a lot, too, right before I came back here,” you admitted. “I thought there might be a chance you’d reject me and Eve.” 

You shook your head when he started to deny that possibility, effectively stopping him. 

“You didn’t turn us away; that’s all that matters,” you continued. The hand that was on his face slid down along his neck until it reached his chest. You lightly pressed against the pounding of his heart, helping it to ease. “So what is it? Was it that mission, or—”

Jake shook his head. The short three-day mission that he had mentioned and hadn’t bothered to delve into the details of barely crossed his mind. It was eight months after you disappeared, but compared to the emotional toll of your near year-long absence, that mission was nothing. 

"I lose you,” he said.

You jerked back. “What?”

“For twenty-two nights straight,” he paused to take a deep breath, and on the exhale, he said, “I’ve lost you and Eve.” 

He never intended to hide things from you, but something about speaking aloud the inner thoughts plaguing him didn’t feel possible without also giving life to them. He could picture them developing their own shape as they exited his mouth; like choking up dark, opaque masses of poisoned sludge. It was a risk he hadn’t wanted to take. But if he couldn’t tell you, he couldn’t tell anyone, and the mental strain was taking its toll. 

“I can’t keep losing you, Honey,” Jake mumbled in the limited space between you. It was quiet, but it was enough. Your face crumbled. “I’m so tired.”

You were in his lap in a split second, your legs on either side of his hips and your hands back on his face, forcing him to meet the intensity of your stare. With your brow pinched, your eyes bore into his, searching for more than what he’d offered so far. 

Whatever you were looking for, you found, and you said, “You know you’d never lose us for real, right?"

He shrugged as he lightly held your waist. “I lost you once before.”

“Not because of anything you did.”

“No one does anything in the nightmares, either. It just…happens.”

You ducked your head to invade the faraway look in his eyes. He kept doing that, without even realizing it. 

“I told you we aren’t going anywhere,” you promised. You pressed a delicate kiss to his lips, then your thumb ran over them again as if to seal your taste against his mouth so he wouldn’t forget that you were there. You were there. He was there. Together and connected. “Baby, we aren’t leaving you.” 

“I know.”

“Do you?” you asked. “Truly?”

He did, but he was silent a moment too long. 

Your bottom lip—the one that had just been so sweetly pressed against his—began to tremble. Jake’s gaze was glued to it, not entirely understanding the sudden shift until a single tear dipped into the corner of your mouth. His eyes snapped up to yours. 

“Hon—”

“I did this,” you whimpered, suddenly breaking in his arms. 

Your whole body folded forward. And had he not been solid and sturdy and there to catch you, you’d have bled right into him. Not that he would have minded. There was no way to possibly be closer than for two to blend into one, and sometimes, that was exactly what he craved. There’d been nights he woke from the dreams when simply seeing and feeling you attached to his side wasn’t enough. He’d kiss you and run his hands over your body until your eyes opened and you accepted his advances, but even then, he wanted more. Needed more.

Your face was buried in the curve of his neck; your tears adding to the sweat-formed sheen of his skin. “You wouldn’t be dealing with this if I hadn’t been a fucking coward,” you said through your sniffles.

“No, Honey,” he whispered as his fingers glided down your hair. “You’re here, Ok? That’s all I care about. You and Eve are with me, and I know it. I swear I know it, Honey.”

It was then that he realized your fears and his were as solid a couple as the two of you. They went hand in hand, thriving off of one another in the darkness where you’d both hidden them away. 

When you lifted your head, Jake wiped away the remnants of your sobs from your face. 

“Why do you trust me after what I did?”

“Because it’s you,” he said without hesitation. It’s you, and you could break my heart ten times over and I’d still love you. I’d still want you. I’d still trust you. 

Another tear threatened to trickle down your face and, like the others, Jake forced the straggler to disappear. 

You sniffed, but in the aftermath of your sobs your nose was stuffed and you had to breathe through your mouth. Jake smiled at you as you calmed, but you didn’t return it. Instead, your eyes scanned over his face, taking him in the way he had when he saw you walk through Rooster’s door just under a month ago. Despite being spread over his lap, you looked at him like you were trying to verify how real he was. 

"I love you." 

The words were shaky, the anxiety behind your confession almost palpable. 

He couldn’t stop from momentarily freezing. As much as he'd wished to hear it, it was unexpected enough to knock him off kilter. You had such a habit of doing that to him, of flipping his world on its side, and he didn’t any better understand how to appropriately act this time than he did the last.

Face falling further, you said, "I'm sorry. Maybe this wasn't the right time to—"

"No!" He rushed out, letting his hands slide around to your lower back. "God, Honey, I've loved you for-fucking-ever. I just didn't know you felt that way about me already."

Your head dipped forward, chin tucking close to your chest as your eyes averted from his. Jake glanced down to the narrow space between your bodies where your fingers were picking at your nail. Your thumbnails were shorter than the others—those that suffered the most abuse from your anxiousness. 

Jake tucked the hair draped in front of your face back behind your ears. "What's wrong?"

You swallowed but you didn’t move until he put a knuckle under your chin and lifted. His brow pinched in question. 

With your sigh, your shoulders relaxed, and for the first time, he realized how tense you’d been.

"Jake, I—I loved you when I left,” you admitted. “I should've told you before now. I should've said it when you did, but…"

But? There was no but. Jake didn’t give a damn if you had some excuse, prepared or not. You loved him. You’d loved him for nearly as long as he loved you. 

It made the time spent apart all the more tragic. You could’ve been a family from the second you discovered your pregnancy. Maybe he’d have asked you to marry him. Maybe you’d have waited to wed until Eve was born so she could be part of it. Maybe you’d be discussing the idea of having a second child. Maybe. But truthfully, it didn’t matter. Everything had fixed itself. Actually, no, Jake thought. Nothing had fixed itself. You had fixed it. You came back to him not because of fate or because the world demanded it of you, but because you loved him. 

"You don't have to explain,” he said. His fingers wove into the strands of your hair and he made a gentle fist, pulling you closer. "Just let me kiss you."

Finally, you grinned. "Always."

It was soft at first, but then harder; lips parting and tongues brushing and hands holding one another tighter. The silence of the room was overtaken by heavy breaths and the subtle sound of bodies shifting over smooth bedsheets. He flipped you over so your head could rest on his pillow and he broke the kiss to look down at you and just…stare, for a little while. You didn’t stop him or hurry him along. You lay there as his fingertip traced the lines of your face, from your hairline to the sharp angle of your cheekbone to the curve of your chin. It ghosted over your kiss-swollen lips

“Don’t be scared, Jake,” you whispered. “You couldn’t get rid of us if you tried.”

“I never would, Honey,” he swore, sealing it with a kiss on your forehead before meeting your lips again.

---

A/N: *turn on notifications for this blog or @seresinhangmanjake-library if you would like to keep up with my writing*

[shoyoist]

──── 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓 : kurokawa izana.

content: gn!reader. dοm reader & sub izana hehe<3 use of a bυtt plug, hand jοb, overstim, masοchistic behavior & dirty talk, dacryphilia, a lil degradation, teasing, multiple οrgasms (m), one slap on the thigh.

— . ｡˚ ♡ there's so many things about izana that people have no idea of.

kurokawa izana is something of a sadist. you know that. he's violent, a little (very) sick in the head, has so much blood on his hands and he's out for even more. he doesn't hesitate to start a fight, and he breaks people's bones and rids them of their lives with gleeful conviction. 

he'll kill a man and go home and hold your hands and kiss you like his hands aren't sticky and his lips aren't bitter with the slightest hint of blood.

kurokawa izana is a sadist and a ruthless emperor, and he's feared. everyone knows that. but what people don't know about him, is that he fears you.

better said, he fears being on your bad side. or what one could call your ‘bad side’, because really, your darling izana could never get on your bad side. he's just too precious to you for that.

the bad side he fears is the side of you that is so, so mean and merciless to him in bed. 

another thing most people don't know about izana is that he's a crier. his eyes fill with tears the moment you say something mean to him. he pouts, pleads and cries his eyes out for you every time you punish him for being a little brat.

or for being too careless, too reckless when he runs around the city killing everyone that gets on his nerves. it's deserved, after all, isn't it? you have to put him in his place sometimes. what would you do if the cops got him? the world would love to snatch up a criminal as renowned as yokohama tenjiku's one and only.

but then again, maybe he likes the punishment. maybe he likes crying for you, likes being fucked into a mess and turned into a stupid little doll in your arms.

you see the way his eyes roll back, pretty violet blurred with tears, mouth open and tongue out as he moans, sobbing your name, squirming in your arms and curling his toes while you milk his balls dry. yeah, definitely.

it seems kurokawa izana is also something of a masochist.

“open your mouth.” you say when he bites his lip, head tipping back as he cums into your fist again, legs twitching helplessly as you wrap an arm around his waist and hold him down, his bare back pressed to your chest. “open your mouth, ‘zana baby.”

he opens his mouth then, a little “mm, fuck— hah,” before his lips part and his little pink tongue is out for you again. 

“keep it open.” you say, knowing he wants you to spit in his mouth, deciding not to do it. you'll toy with him a little tonight. “keep it open and be loud. you know i like you loud.”

he's too fucked out to think up a proper sentence to reply to you with, so he just moans — and you'd slap his thighs red and raw to punish him for that, if only he wasn't so fucking cute like this.

the plug in his ass hums quite softly, but you know it's vibrating deep inside him and teasing his most sensitive spots while you're busy overstimulating his dick — the little sighs he lets out every now and then, shifting his position to dig the plug a little further into his ass, it lets you know he's enjoying it just fine.

his cum trails down your fingers, silky and translucent, making the movement of your fist up and down his poor, overstimulated cock even wetter, even faster. you watch it, watch the way his cock jerks up when you flick his sensitive head, smile when his moan turns into a pitchy cry. he's so cute.

“gonna be louder than that, princess?” you lean in and whisper into the shell of his ear. “or do i have to tie and gag you up and do something that'll really hurt you?”

the shiver that runs up his body is electric, and it makes his bronze skin rush with goosebumps. 

even you feel his instant arousal. he curls up in your hold, grabbing your wrist in shaky hands and whines, “no, ‘m being good! please— i'll be loud, fuck — i promise!.”

you trail your free hand up his chest, feeling his heartbeat under your palm as you go, wrapping your fingers around his throat and squeezing. “you promise?”

”i—i promise,” he chokes out, eyes rolling into the back of his head, hips bucking into your fist as you tighten your grip around his spent dick. “please. don't wan’ you to hurt me—” you cut him off with a sharp slap to his thigh, and the moan that slips shamelessly past his lips gives him away. 

you don't rub the sting of it away for him, and he squirms again, his own hand hurrying to caress the burn. oh, baby.

he wants you to hurt him. wants you meaner. 

“pretty little pain-slut,” you scoff, taking his cock in your hand once more. ”dont lie to me. you want me to take that little plug out of your ass and fuck you good, hm? fuck you till it knocks you out?”

“uh huh,” he nods, looking up at you with wet, hazy eyes. you brush his hair aside, tucking the stray strands of pale hair behind his ears, kissing his sweaty forehead before you give him a smile. “uh huh? gonna take what i give you? like a good boy?”

“uh huh,” he repeats, trying to stay attentive but getting distracted by your hand that's inching down his body to tug at the plug still in his ass, teasing him and making him clench around the buzzing toy. “fuck. wa—wanna get fucked so bad, please.”

maybe just this once, you'll quit being too mean and give izana what he wants. he's being good right now, anyway. and of course — kakucho doesn't appreciate it when he comes home and finds out you've been messing your princess up a little too much while he was out.

“alright.” you decide, pulling izana in for a kiss. “i'll fuck you just the way you like. and then you'll behave for me?”

“hah— i will!” he begs, and he's just so pretty it makes you oblige. you know he won't behave. he knows you know. you both know he'll end up in bed with you like this again, give or take a couple of weeks.

but it's a cycle you both just cannot get enough of <3.

[buckyarchives]

Just a Game | Bucky Barnes

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: if anything, you and Bucky’s relationship was just a game. Who will win and who will break?

W.c: 3.9k

Context: Bucky being a little toxic, reader being a little toxic. Rough sex, degradation, small amounts of praise, p in v

Author note: dude. I don’t even know where this came from just enjoy it. I also did plan for this ending to be fluffy, it took a mind of its own by 1k words

Read on AO3 | Masterlist

It was known to everyone in the compound that Bucky's and your relationship was built on jealousy, hunger, spite, and possessiveness. None of it was inherently healthy, and sometimes whatever went on between the two of you felt more like a game than anything. And everyone knew not to interfere. Or at least… most people. 

The first time Bucky set sights on you it lit an intense fire in him, he actually felt something for the first time in 70 years. It didn’t take long for him to become addicted, everything about you drew him in. you were like a fucking drug, and Bucky was ready to destroy himself for you.

You were taunting and alluring, and Bucky was sucked in from the moment your dark eyes met his. you recognize the look in his eyes, you let yourself live in it and start to drown in those baby blues, it felt so good.

That’s when the game started.

Bucky was a possessive person at heart, you brought it out of him in a new way. It scared the fuck out of Steve. He would watch you with a shadow casing over his eyes, making him look dangerous and an aura some would only expect from the winter soldier. You’d spar with other male agents, and make a point to skillfully rub yourself against the other — knowing Bucky Barnes was lurking with his intense stare, like a wolf stalking its prey.

You would tease him in the hallway by swaying your hip a little too seductively, knowing he couldn’t do a thing about it. Brushing your hands against his elbow and looking at him through your lashes, before stepping out of the way before he could even lay a finger on you.

Once in a room together, the tension would be so thick it would choke any unsuspecting person. Challenging glances would blur your minds. And soon enough the line between just teasing and actually hurting each other was crossed. There was absolutely no going back.

You started tossing around fellow agents like playthings just to rile up Bucky, a foolproof way of getting his attention. Once the thought of another man on you got to be too much, he’d pound you into oblivion and fuck the thought of any man out of your brain. Or just any thoughts at all. you had him wrapped around your fingers.

But Bucky was adaptive, he was smart and figured your game out quickly. When he began to tear his gaze from you in the hallways, acting smug and like he didn't care you were feeling up agent Mason and giving him false hope in an attempt to get Bucky's attention.

He soon grew hungry to have you chasing after him, to be desired by you the same way he ached for you.

and it didn’t take long for him to achieve his goal.

Another one of Stark's stupid galas, he invited all the avengers and every in-combat and training agent under SHIELD. Bucky noticed you almost immediately, lingering in the corner was a drink in your hand. You wore a tight black dress that cut out on your chest and hips making you look stupidly hot. The exposed skin taunted him, he imagined grabbing you tightly there and bending you over the bed, and going at it like no tomorrow.

Bucky knew you saw him, you tried to hide the side eye, but Bucky always saw through your ploy. You were fucking ignoring him, inching closer to the short blonde across from you. Bucky clenched his fist so hard he might have drawn blood in the right. 

You would come to him, he didn’t care. it was his mission for the night, to get you begging for him.

Bucky murder strutted to Natasha, who was thankfully right in your line of sight. perfect.

“Do be a favor, Natalia, and flirt with me?'' Bucky asked and put out the most innocent smile he could muster up.

It surprised Bucky how perceptive Natasha could be at times, she’d already clocked him the moment she noticed the dark haze over his eyes — glaring at you.

“I’m not going to be put in the crosshairs of y/n just so she’ll fuck you later tonight.” She rolled her eyes.

“Nat.” Bucky pleaded. 

“No, but agent 201 has been staring you down all night.” Natasha mentioned, her eyes glancing over at the short brunette a few feet away. a little far from your eye line, but he trusted you to search him out. “Just don’t lead her on.”

“Whatever, Natalia.” Bucky scoffed, pulled away from the redhead, and straight to the brunette agent.

It didn’t take long for the game to start, Steve and Sam sat in the corner and watched you two play your cards like it was a fucking sitcom. Placing bets on who would break first and drag the other to an empty hallway.

You noticed Bucky's gaze softened on the girl, his stupid playboy smirk as he grazed his flesh hand against her arm. Bucky noticed you scowl through the corner of his eye, this would be exciting. You dragged some man to an area cleared for dancing, pressed your ass against this groan skillfully, and just waited for Bucky to pounce. 

Bucky was going to play it out, restrain himself until you cracked at the sight of his attention being on another girl. But as you pulled the blonde agent close to you, his lips grazed to the spot behind your ear. Your sweet spot, he knew it well. He was only allowed to tease you there, your knees would grow weak every time he kissed there.

“y/n is busy right now, so go fuck off, yeah?” The raspy, low voice from behind you, the harsh grasp on your wrist, and the utter fear in the blonde’s eyes in front of you had you knowing exactly who it was.

And before you could comprehend anything else, Bucky was dragging you from the crowd. The world felt slow for a moment. All you saw was broad shoulders in front of you, stealing you away to go somewhere more private. You knew you won and a small smirk graced your lips. 

A gasp left your mouth as your back hit the wall, Bucky punched the up button for the elevator. His large hands grasp around your shoulder and waist, leaning close to your ear.

Bucky’s hot breath sent a chill down your spine and pooled in your panties, “you fucking tease. How long were you planning on dragging your ass against his dick, huh?” 

“Did it turn you on?” you snarked. 

Bucky’s grip tightened around your waist, he wore his anger on his face rather than shoving it down. He bit his cheek and breathed hard. Your eyes landed on the dent in his pants, and with a shit-eating grin, you looked up at him through your lashes.

“Sure looks like it did.”

ding!

It is equally scary and fucking hot how quickly he pushed you inside the elevator. Bucky's lip attached to your neck, he had to get the scent of any other guy off of you. The man should have known not to get in between you two. Bucky drew out whines from you as he nipped and licked your skin. He wouldn’t give you the pleasure of planting his lips on yours, that sweet satisfaction.

“I'll kill anyone else for touching you like I do.” Bucky muttered against your skin, and he was serious. He was seeing red only a few moments ago. “you’re mine.”

You chucked coyly, his lips ghosted your lower neck. Bucky's head rose slowly, noses centimeters apart as he stares you down.

“You think I’m fucking joking?” Bucky growled, his metal hand gripping you right around your waist. no doubt there will be bruises tomorrow.

“I think you're being a little overdramatic, buck.” 

Bucky poked his tongue to the side of his cheek, looking you up and down slowly with lust-filled eyes. “I hope you don’t call me overdramatic when I’m fucking every coherent thought out of your pretty head, the only thing you should be thinking about is how good you feel with my cock inside of you.”

You shuttered. and Bucky sensed it, a small smirk on his lips before he hoisted you up on his waist harshly. You knew the route, the 6th floor and the 4th door to the right was Bucky's room. 

The door slammed open by Bucky's shoulders. He was growing impatient and you were slowly grinding yourself against his groin. For the third time that night, your back slams against the wall harshly, and you yelp when Bucky bites at your lip. Definitely drawing blood. 

“How do you wanna do this, princess?” Buckys spoke against your lips, noses touching and steady eye contact. You slowly unwrapped your legs from his waist and steadied yourself on the ground. Bucky followed your actions intently.

Your finger slid down his shirt, you always seem to forget just how solid he was under all the black and leather. Slowly unbuttoning his shirt, bucky's hand wrapped around your wrist before you could make it to his belly. 

“I hope you don’t think you're in charge here.”

“We’ll see.” You said and looked up at him through your lashes. 

“Fuck you, doll.” Bucky spits.

“Waiting for it.”

Teleportation is real – because you were against the wall a second ago and not being pushed and shoved on the bed. Bucky tore at your dress and tights, slowly undressing you and pushing your neckline down to show your chest. Two metal fingertips pinched your hard nipple, earning a loud yelp from you. His lips traveled farther down, across your collarbone, and down your sternum. Bucky was sucking hard on your exposed skin, he felt this possessive and almost primal urge to leave a mark. So you'd know the next day after looking into the mirror who was making you feel good, no one else would be able to touch you without seeing bucky's mark. He wished he could tattoo it into your skin if he could. 

“Bucky…” you whine as he ghosted his lips over your lower tummy. You felt him smirk against your skin and a soft blow as he chuckled. 

“Don’t get greedy now.” He met your back on your lips, bruises and swollen bright pink. “Show me what you want.” He growled, an order you obeyed happily. Your eyes stayed on his before you rolled on your stomach and slowly perched your ass high for him to see. He moaned, tugging your panties down by hooking them under his thumb. 

“Good girl.” You smiled at that, biting your lip as he pushed one, cold metal finger up and down your folds. Testing the waters, he scooted up further to press his groan up to you. Still wearing his dress pants and pressing his digits to your pussy. You bit back your moans, not wanting to give him that satisfaction yet. Simply toying with him until he was so desperate he just —

“Fuck.” He dragged out as his already wet tip poked at your hole, he was getting needy too. Perfect. “I don’t care who listens, I want you screaming or I won’t let you come. Want everyone to know who makes you feel good, yeah?”

You hummed, pressed against him as he still teased your cunt with his tip. You hear a low chuckle under his breath, grasping your hips and pressing his chest to your back. Bucky filled you to the brim with his cock until he bottomed out, you exhaled and felt his hot breath on your ear. 

“What’s in that pretty head, huh?” He started to make forceful and slow trust into you, his hips snapping as he spoke. “You thinking about that blonde’s dick in you? Do you think he’d fuck you like this?”

You don’t respond, only small dragged-out moans as he started to pound into your pussy. The sound of skin slapping filled the room. Pure ecstasy filled your body, as he filled you. You’d feel it with him deep inside you, squeezing around his cock as he found the most sensitive parts of you.

“Huh?!” He shouted, with an especially forceful snap of his hips. Right after, beginning to speed up and wrapping his flesh hand around your throat. “You thinking about his cock, honey? Be honest, baby, tell me.”

You whined, “no.” Already feeling your eyes start to lull back as you lost yourself in Bucky, he was fucking you like he couldn’t get any closer. Like he wanted to be one. 

“Who do you belong to you?”

“Mhmmm.” You drew out, “your. I’m all yours. No one can fuck me — ah! James — fuck me like you. No one.” 

“That my good girl.” He cooed, releasing his hand off your throat, and began to drill into you as if his life depended on it. Choked grunts and moans escaped his lips as you squeezed his cock, “now take it, let me fill you up and take it.”

“Oh! Fuck, James!” You shouted, his cock hitting the perfect spot. Filling you up until it felt like he was in your stomach, your eyes closed back as the world became a blur and all you felt was him, you and him. Nothing else matters. 

You feel your body grow limp, almost useless as your chest and face fall to the bed and you melt into him. His hand runs down your arch, sending a shiver down your spine as he moans out your name. Hissing as his cock continued to fill you. A dark chuckle left his lips, “they’re we go, baby. Just like that.”

“My sweet girl, you’re so tight around me, so fucking good.” He grunts, rambling on like a madman under his breath. Whines of filthy words and his name leave your throat, whimpers as you plead for more as pleasure shoots through you like a fucking lightning bolt.

Can’t even move against him anymore, you're paralyzed under his rough grasp. His fingers mark bruises on your hips. 

“Fuck Bucky! I’m - oh my god - ‘m gonna come. Baby, please.” 

It’s then you decide Bucky Barnes is the ultimate fucking asshole when he slowly slides his cock out of you, halting the hard and forceful snap of his hips and you feel empty. So goddamn empty. 

His hand goes to rub your pussy, making you ache and whine. “You’re not allowed to yet, baby girl.”

“Fuck you,” you spit. He just shows you a toothy grin and turns you around onto your back, smoothing his hands on your breast, stomach, and waist. You can feel the weight of him on your core, it’s intoxicating. 

This entire… relationship was rocky and built in mostly lust and jealous eyes. Late nights and short mornings. But sometimes, and it always took both of you by surprise, romantic gestures and sensual touches would leak through the cracks. So as Bucky leaned down close and took your lips against his, it wasn’t aggressive or dirty. A little passionate but it held an innocence that was unfamiliar to you, but by god - it lit you the fuck up. 

You breathed into his mouth, hot breaths and moans as Bucky slowly slid into you. The stretch was delicious, and Bucky was devouring you. Bit by bit. 

“Fuccckk.” You moaned, breaking the kiss to let your head lull back into his silk sheets. All you can feel is warmth and fullness as he begins to rock his hips again. Bucky’s pushing against you, his hands on your hips so he fuck you in just the way he likes.

“M’not a fuck toy, Buck.” You tease, and he doesn’t let up, still drilling into and taking pleasure from your body like a feast. 

“Aw, baby?” He teases, an almost condescending look on his face as he looks down on you. The metal of his dog tags brushed against your breast. You forgot how lovely that cold sensation was. “You don’t wanna be my little fuck toy?”

He snaps his hips so hard you cry out. 

“Let me use you until you’re all full of my cum?”

Another forceful, hard thrust. Your irises roll to the back of your head as your mouth stays wide open.

“So, I’ll fuck you how I please.” Snap. Bucky lets out a grunt before wrapping his mouth around your breast and sucking hard. Biting at your pebbled nipple until you're crying out his name so loud you're sure the party 6 floors down can hear you.

Bucky's tongue is hot and wet and is everything good on earth. You tighten around him and hear bucky wince and groan into your skin, you giggled - soon cut off by a harsh thrust as you choke. But his thrust begins to slow again, he knows you're close and he’s trying to keep you dancing over the edge as long as he can. Not letting you have the pleasure of relief. 

“Bucky, let me come, goddamnit!” You choke out, “please, please.”

You hear him chuckle, “begging? Good girl. I’m glad we figured out whos in control here.” One metal hand snakes around your waist and up your back. Pulling your flesh against his chest as he continues to drill into your cunt. Practically splitting you open and filling you with nothing except pleasure, warmth and him.

“Fuck, fuck. Bucky-“ it's so close, to the release. you squeeze around him and he feels it.

“That’s it, doll. I got you.” 

“Oh my-“ your legs shake and your body starts to lose all its strength, but Bucky holds you steady. The touch is almost sensual, but you can’t think about that right now. Not when you're slowly letting go.

He swallows your moans as you let go, his hips don’t let up and you feel him close behind you. You begin to think Bucky Barnes fucking you like this, filling you whole with his warmth is the closest thing you’ll get to a religious experience. 

Bucky begins to slow his thrust, a mixture of your juices filling you, coating both his and your thighs. 

“I got you, I got you, baby girl.” Bucky whispers into your ears, sounding breathless as his chest rises up and down. Similar to you, your head falls into the crook of his neck and stays there as you slowly ground yourself back to reality. His thumb smoothed over your back, still holding you close and inside you. 

“You’re okay,” his voice softened “where is my girl at?”

“M’tired.” You whine, Bucky smiles and slowly pulls out of you. The lack of fullness and warmth makes you chase after his touch, a really pathetic and weak attempt, too. But Bucky doesn't let go, slowly moving so he could hold you securely against his chest and lie down. 

It grows very quiet for a while, like most of the time. You’ve come down from your high, half expecting Bucky to up and leave once he knows you’re mentally okay. But he stays, his arms still wrapped securely around you and smoothing your skin. Just breathing together and in a bliss silence, naked and flush against each other. 

The pit in your stomach grows larger and larger, anticipating when he will leave the bed. And as he stays longer and longer, you know it will hurt more when he finally lets his side of the bed cold and leave you alone. You wished you could let go of these silly feelings, knowing they will never grow to be anything else besides some possessive little fuck every now and then. You wish you could be more to him than —

“Can we stop doing this?” 

Your thoughts come to halt, you can’t move, can’t speak. What does that even mean? Bucky's breathing heavily on your neck, not from the exercise of sex, no no- this is, he’s nervous. You're almost glad you can’t see his face.

“Doing what?” You ask.

Bucky gulps, “this game.” He sighs, sounding almost pained as he speaks, like some sacred confession that hurts him in the gut to say out loud. “The jealousy and the spite towards each other, only seeing each other when we want to fuck. I- I don’t like it anymore, it doesn’t feel good.”

Your eyebrows furrow, swiftly turning to face him. Bucky looks pained, and tortured. He bites his lip and you suddenly feel speechless. Trying to gauge a sense of his emotions, what he’s feeling, and trying to grasp your head around what he is saying. 

“What are you saying Bucky?”

His Atlantic blues tear holes into you, and for a second, it almost looks like he wants to cry. 

“I love you.” 

Your eyes blow wide open, a small gasp leaving your mouth. “I-“

“You don’t—“ Bucky sigh, closing in on himself as he begins to regret even opening his mouth. “You don’t have to say it back, or say anything. I just wanted you to know.”

I just wanted you to know.

You blink once, twice, maybe a third time before a small sigh leaves your lips. Looking down and away from Bucky's eyes that couldn’t let you think, you gulp.

Now or never?

Sweet lips slant against yours, swollen and pink as your hand wraps around bucky's neck, tugging at his brunette locks. You feel Bucky's signature Cheshire grin grow against yours. His hands never left your body, still rubbing at your soft skin. The kiss is so innocent and full of love that it’s almost uncomfortable for a second between you two, so unfamiliar. 

There’s a little slobber on Bucky's lips when you part, he’s smiling like a kid in a candy shop. His eyes practically twinkle and you realize he looks quite charming like this. 

“I love you, too. I think I have for a while now.”

Bucky pulls you back into a kiss, a sweet and loving kiss. 

After another much more loving round of sex, one you wouldn’t even call fucking because it was nothing close to that. No, you make love with Bucky for the first time and it was utterly liberating. His arms stayed wrapping around you as you fell asleep against his chest, as he whispered soft and sweet nothing into your ear. You fell asleep loved for the first time.

The next morning was even better, no rushing to get up and away from another. Bucky stayed with his hands around you and softly breathed, “you can sleep, doll. I’m gonna go get some breakfast.”

You hummed and let your head fall back onto the pillow, Bucky ran a hand through his tousled locks and threw his boxers and sweats on. Bare feet padded as he walked into the kitchen with sleep and love apparent on his face. 

A few avengers saw it too.

A loud and shrill whistle came from behind Bucky as he poured hot coffee into a black mug, “how’d the game end last night?”

Bucky turned to Sam, biting back a smile, and shaking his head slowly. “No more games.”

“Oh shit?” Natasha and Sam shared a look before Natasha could smirk and let the question dance off her lips. “Who confessed first?”

“I did.” Bucky smiled, god, has he ever smiled this much before?

Sam groaned loudly and slipped Natasha a 20-dollar bill from across the table, a defeated look as she quirked the end of her lip up. “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.”

“You guys are fucking assholes, you know that?”

-

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