#conrad drabble

[probably-writing-x]

Missing Piece.

Summary: can you do conklin!reader x conrad where since she’s the oldest sibling, laurel had so much expectations for her and she held a lot of responsibility to the point where she couldn’t even enjoy being a kid. this is gonna sound sad but let’s say conrad chose belly over her but he was really just confused about what he wants which was reader but since her and belly are so similar, he chose belly and the reader had a big argument that led to her being the bad guy and all the stress caused her to just leave cousins and cut contact with everyone. Flash forward like 2 years ( reader is in college and everyone else is beginning college soon ) reader comes back to cousins and everyone is shocked to see she has a son 😭 it doesn’t have to be conrad’s i was thinking it could be like an ex boyfriends or one night stand’s BUT yeah she comes back with a whole kid and she’s so grown now. ( you can add a lil stepdad conrad if you want 😮‍💨 )

Warnings: Discussions of toxic family relations, mentions of unplanned pregnancy

Author’s Note: I’m sorry this is so long but I took this idea and RAN with it! Hope y’all enjoy plz plz plz let me know what you think

You always knew how your little sister Belly had felt about Conrad when you were all growing up. For as long as you could remember, she’d been head over heels for him. She laughed a little harder at his jokes, remembered a little more about everything he said. She loved him.

You weren’t exactly sure when your feelings for Conrad had started, however. He’d always just been a friend. The boy you spent every summer with as the two of you were responsible for babysitting the rest. He’d always just been Conrad. But lately that had felt like it was changing.

The worst part about it all? You couldn’t even tell him how you felt. For the fear of breaking your little sisters heart was worse than letting your own break right in front of you.

“Are you even listening to me (y/l/n)?” Conrad stretches out a leg to kick you from where he sat on the other end of the couch and you look up from your book to see him.

“Um,” You clear your throat, “No, I didn’t hear a word you said.”

He rolls his eyes at you, “I asked if you were coming to the party tonight.”

“Oh, yeah, I hadn’t thought about it,” You shrug, “Is everyone going?”

He shrugs his shoulders, “I haven’t asked everyone. I’ve asked you.”

You smile in return, “Yeah, sure, I’ll come.”

He stretches forward and grabs the book from your hands, “What are you reading?”

“Con!” You exclaim, reaching over his legs to try to grab the book from his hands, “Give it back.”

He laughs and holds it high over his head, away from your reach as you fall forward, hand catching yourself on his chest.

You look up to his eyes and he’s looking down at you with a smirk on his lips.

“Can you please give me my book back?”

“I could,” He returns, the pages still tight between his grip.

“Okay, will you?”

“What’s in it for me?”

There’s something about the way he says the words. Hoarse in his throat, almost catching on his tongue, foreign tone to hear from his lips. You feel the heat increasing in your cheeks and try to ignore it.

“Nothing, just give it back,” You groan, stretching far up enough that your fingertips brush the pages and he eventually releases the book from his grip.

You compose yourself and return to your side of the couch, trying to ignore the deep heat coursing through your cheeks.

“Hey!” Belly’s voice sounds from the doorway as she comes in, “I’m not interrupting am I?”

“No, no, of course not,” Conrad stands up quickly from the couch, “Are you ready to go?”

Belly nods, “Yeah, sure. Are you coming (y/n)?”

You force a small smile in their direction, “I’ll be there in a bit.”

“(Y/n) I really need your help tonight,” Your Mom, Laurel walks into the room in their absence, “We’ve got so much to set up for tomorrow so I’ll need your help with it all.”

You set your book down and look up at her, “Actually I think there’s a party tonight that everyone’s going to so I sort of had plans.”

She brushes you off, busy looking at something on her phone, “Well just cancel your plans.”

“It’s a party, Mom, everyone’s going,” You roll your eyes, “Can’t I just help tomorrow morning?”

“Can you please not make this more difficult than it needs to be?” She shakes her head at you, “You’re eighteen now, aren’t you too old for those kinds of things?”

“Right, yeah, eighteen is the cut off point for having fun,” You stand up from the couch.

“(Y/n) wait!” She calls after you, “I need you to go to-“

“The store, yeah, I just got the list,” You wave your phone in your hand, “(Y/n) Conklin at your service.”

Your relationship with Laurel has never been ideal. You were the oldest of the three of you and so her expectations for you seemed far beyond what she wanted from the others. She was more patient with them, more understanding. You didn’t get that. They got a childhood and you got the responsibility of looking after them. They went to the fair? You had to make sure they all came back in one piece. They went to a party? You had to be the designated driver and make sure neither of them drank too much. Something important going on? They got to be kids whilst you dealt with it like an adult. You grew up too fast and she was to blame for that - her expectations tainting any form of childhood you could’ve held onto.

You step outside and start walking towards your car, pausing when you hear the sound of laughter from the others. Conrad has Belly in his arms, lifting her up from the ground as the other boys try to grab her legs. He’s holding her tight, a bright smile on his face when he looks at her. They’d had that tradition for years. Since you were first coming to Cousins. But you were never a part of it. Because whilst they grabbed Belly and ran her to the pool, you had to help your Mom carry in the luggage and set up everyone’s rooms. Traditions, right?

“(Y/n)!” Jeremiah yells over to you when he catches sight of you, “Are you coming later? We thought we could go to the store and get some drinks before we go.”

He walks over to you and the other boys follow behind.

“Um,” You drag a hand through your hair, glancing at the house, “I can’t come tonight, I’ve got stuff to help my Mom with here.”

“Oh come on, you’re so boring,” Steven groans, “You never come to parties.”

Right, because I’m too busy picking up the slack for you and Belly.

“Yeah, sorry, Laurel’s orders,” You shrug, “Maybe next time.”

“Can you at least stop at the store and use your fake? Thank youuuuu,” Steven yells back as he heads back towards the pool.

You roll your eyes, forcing a smile to the Fisher brothers, “I’ll see you guys later.”

Conrad frowns a little at you, “You sure you’re not coming?”

You shrug your shoulders, “I’ll be designated driver, you can just call me when you need picking up.”

He smiles faintly and watches as you head towards your car, your shoulders dropping as you let out a sigh. Laurel’s orders.

———

You spend the night helping your Mom and Susannah set up for their charity event before you eventually get a text from Steven asking you to come get them.

You drive across the town to the other end and pull up in front of the house, texting them to say you’re outside.

Only Jeremiah and Steven step out though.

“Thanks for coming,” Jere smiles, sitting in the back seat, “You’re a lifesaver.”

You frown at the two of them, “Where’s the rest?”

Steven laughs, “Don’t get us started.”

“What’s going on?” You ask, glancing back in the mirror to catch Jeremiah’s face, watching as his jaw clenches.

“Conrad and Belly disappeared together,” Steven explains, “They were all over each other, and then the next minute we couldn’t find either of them.”

“So-“ You clear your throat, words seemingly catching on your tongue, “So you don’t know where they are?”

“They’re together, they’re fine,” Steven shrugs, “But god I’m dreading hearing that story tomorrow.”

You swallow the lump in your throat and lock eyes with Jeremiah who just shrugs his shoulders at you. He was your counterpart in this. Him in love with Belly despite his brother. You in love with Conrad despite your sister.

“Can we go?” Steven nudges you, “I’m starving.”

The three of you drive back in relative silence apart from Steven hiccuping every five seconds, until you reach the house and you pull up on the driveway. You make sure to shut the door quietly behind you so that Laurel wouldn’t complain in the morning and the two boys disappear into the kitchen.

“(Y/n) can I eat some of your-“ Steven calls out loudly.

You stick your head around the doorframe of the kitchen and shush him, whispering back, “Eat whatever you want as long as it’s not the food for tomorrow.”

He salutes in your direction and you roll your eyes, walking through into the lounge and collapsing down onto one of the couches. Your Mom would kill you if Belly didn’t come home tonight, and especially if you didn’t have any clue where she was.

So whilst the boys eat and reside to their bedrooms, you wait.

-

It’s around three am when you hear the door open again and two hushed voices coming through into the silent house.

“Is everyone asleep?” You hear Belly whisper and you glance up from the couch.

That’s when you see it. His hand intertwined with hers, his flannel shirt around her shoulders, both of their eyes alight.

“I think so,” Conrad hisses in return as the two of them walk towards the stairs.

She steps up ahead of him but he pauses on the bottom step, glancing into the lounge where his eyes lock with yours. You don’t look away and neither does he, so you watch as he swallows the lump in his throat, his hand dropping from its grip on Belly’s.

You look away then, turning over on the couch so that your back faces them. It’s such a quick response isn’t it? Five seconds and now your throat feels like it can’t breathe air, and your eyes are pricked with tears threatening to spill. You let out a shaky breath and grip firmly onto the cushion beneath your head, your chest feeling tighter and tighter.

———

The following morning you wake up to the sound of voices in the kitchen and you groan at the sudden realisation of how uncomfortable the couch really is.

When you walk through, it’s your brother and sister.

“She’s alive!” Steven laughs, “What happened to you last night?”

You drag a hand over your face, “I-“ Your eyes shift to Belly who’s stood with the faintest smile over her face as she sips her coffee, the look of a girl in love, “I was going to stay awake to make sure Belly got back safe but I must’ve… I don’t know, I must’ve fallen asleep before she got back.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, we were pretty late,” She clears her throat, “I mean, I was- we weren’t-“

“Come on Bels everyone saw you and Conrad together,” Steven scoffs, “You didn’t exactly make it discrete.”

“Well, I-“ Belly laughs a little, “We just-“

“I don’t think I want to hear this,” Steven groans, “Please spare me the details.”

He takes a cup of coffee from the counter and walks out, his shoulders hanging low.

You take a deep breath and turn back to your sister, pausing for a second. Something about her seems so different - like she’s a whole new person. One piece of her life fallen into place and she was… happy. You swallow the lump in your throat.

“So, you and Conrad,” You mention, your back turned to her as you pull out a pancake mix from the cupboard.

“I don’t even know how it happened,” She shakes her head, “I mean, you all know I’ve had a crush on him since I could remember and then he told me he wanted us to be together and I-“

“He wants you to be together?” You half-choke out the words, your hands feeling weak, your heart numb.

“That’s what he said,” She nods, “We still need to talk about things but yesterday seemed pretty official.”

You blink a couple of times and take a deep breath, pulling your shoulders back a little, “That’s great, Bels, I’m happy for you.”

Before you can say anything more, Conrad walks through into the kitchen, pausing when he sees the two of you.

“Oh, um, morning,” He offers a small smile, letting out a breath.

You nod in greeting, “I’m going to leave you two to it.”

“(Y/n)…” Conrad speaks quietly as you go to leave, his hand reaching out towards you.

You look up at him and there’s a shift in his eyes, a difference in the way he looks at you. Like he knows everything and nothing about what he’s done.

“Never mind,” He shakes his head.

And you’re gone.

———

You don’t see them for the rest of the day. In fact, you don’t see anyone. You go down to the beach at some point in the afternoon and swim in the flat waves and return to the house hours later with damp hair. Your Mom makes a comment about how you need to look presentable for this evening.

You’ve showered and are sat on your bed wrapped in a baggy hoodie and shorts straightening your hair when there’s a knock on your door.

“(Y/n) can I come in?”

It’s Jeremiah.

“Yeah, of course,” You shift on your seat and he steps inside.

“I just wanted to see how you were,” He perches himself on the edge of the bed, looking at you through the mirror.

“I’m okay, this event should be good,” You lie through a smile, fixing the hair around your face.

“(Y/n)…” He frowns at you, “You don’t have to lie.”

“Wh-“

“He broke your heart,” He confirms for you, “And she broke mine.”

You laugh a little, “Well that makes us sound sad, Jere.”

He smiles gently, softly, “It’s okay for you to be upset about it. You don’t have to put on that facade like you normally do.”

“I just-“ You shake your head, “I can’t be upset. I’m happy for Belly, she’s loved him since forever.”

“(Y/n),” Jeremiah waits until you turn around to face him, “You’ve spent your life being happy for Belly, it’s okay for you to let yourself once wish that you were happy for you.”

You look down at the ground and back up, shaking your head a little as tears pool at your eyes, “I just really thought it would be me.”

Instantly, Jere jumps from the bed and hurries over to you, engulfing you in his arms as you bury your head into his chest.

“I did too,” He mumbles as he runs a hand up and down your back.

“God, I’m so stupid,” You laugh, dragging your hands under your eyes, “I need to stop this before tonight.”

He pulls back and holds both of your shoulders, “You’re going to get dressed into your best dress, and you’re going to look beautiful, and we’re going to drink, and drink some more, and we’re both going to forget all about last night. How does that sound?”

You nod your head, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Jeremiah grins, “Now cheer up before you make me cry too.”

You laugh softly, watching him disappear before you let out a shaky breath, turning back to yourself in the mirror and setting your shoulders back to fix your posture.

You could do this.

———

By the time you come downstairs, the house is flooded with people all in attendance for the event. The garden doors are open and people have spilled outside, all mingling between each other as Susannah goes around to greet everyone that she can.

You take a glass of champagne from the tray in the kitchen and tip it back until the liquid empties down your throat, and you grimace a little at the taste.

“Woah, take it easy Conklin,” Steven raises his brows at you as you refill your glass, “You never drink.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a party isn’t it?” You shrug your shoulders, tipping back another glass.

“Who are you and what have you done with my sister?” Steven laughs.

You go to respond but your eyes fall on the pair just across the room. The girl’s fingers fixing the bow tie around the boy’s neck, her hands settling onto his chest soon after, a smile on her face. Belly and Conrad.

“They seem pretty-“

“Yeah, I know,” You respond quickly, “Made for each other.”

“I was going to say full-on,” Steven grimaces, “It’s weird.”

You shrug, “Maybe they’re happy.”

You swallow the lump in your throat and try to ignore the tightening in your chest, sure that you could leave at that sight alone.

How could you do this? How could you be normal with them when it was like this? How could you spend every day with them?

“I can’t be here,” You shake your head, “I need some air.”

You grab a bottle of tequila from the liquor display and take it with you outside, sipping from it before you’ve even got to the garden.

It’s colder as the sun is already setting but another sip of tequila seems to take the edge off just a little, and its already going to your head.

You start making your way around the perimeter of the pool, your steps a little off balance as you teeter across the edge.

“(Y/n)?” Belly’s voice calls from the doorway of the house, “What are you doing out here?”

Your foot spins you to face her and you catch sight of her at the door, a black jacket wrapped around her shoulders. The sight makes your heart sink into your stomach, churning your insides.

“Come on, Mom wants you to mingle wit-“

“I don’t care what Mom wants,” You reply harshly, swigging back the tequila once again.

“Wh- what are you talking about?”

“I’ve done my bit, okay? I’ve done more than my bit. She can leave me alone for one night,” You roll your eyes, “Just one fucking night.”

“What’s going on with you (y/n)? This isn’t like you,” She wraps her arms around herself, the jacket tightening across her shoulders.

“Is that… is that his jacket?”

The rational part of you is unsure as to why you even ask it. But the tequila is almost a third gone now, and you’re not sure the rational is what’s in control anymore.

“We- yeah, he gave it to me to come outside,” Belly confirms, “What’s that got to do with-“

“Did you know I liked him?” You interrupt.

“(Y/n) what-“

“Answer the question,” Your words are harsh, too harsh probably, “When you kissed him last night, when he told you he wanted to be with you, did you know that I liked him?”

“Come on, you know how I’ve felt about Conrad, how I feel about him,” Belly shakes her head, “This isn’t ab-“

“About me? Right, of course it’s not,” You scoff, stepping towards her, “Because god forbid things don’t work out the way Belly wants them to, right? God forbid we’re not all making sure that you’re happy and that things are going your way. God forbid anyone else get a fucking happy ending!”

You know you’re raising your voice, you can tell from the way she flinches as you speak. But that doesn’t seem to matter anymore either.

“You wanted him and so you got him. And me and Jere? We don’t matter, do we? We’re just thrown to the curb so that you can be fucking happy,” You half laugh, “I gave up everything for you, Belly. For you and for Steven, I gave up my whole fucking childhood. I couldn’t be a child because you two needed to be them instead. So I grew up, I stopped going out so I could do chores for Mom, chores that you missed because you were too busy with Taylor or at volleyball or failing your fucking classes. I did it all! I gave up everything. And the one thing it felt like I had was… him.”

You choke out the last word and feel the tears prick at your eyes.

“Conrad was the only one that understood, the only one who knew what it was like to feel responsible for your asses,” You scoff, “And… I gave that up too.”

“You didn’t give him up, (y/n), Conrad chose to be with me!” Belly defends, her voice breaking.

By now, the small crowd in the garden has started to increase to hear what was going on, people slowly starting to trail out of the door until you see the familiar faces.

“Girls, can we try doing this somewhere else?” Susannah steps outside, trying to smile for the guests gathering around.

“(Y/n)!” Laurel hisses, hurrying down to where the two of you stood, “Can you control yourself please? There are guests here!”

You look at her and let out a scoff, “My fault, of course.”

“You should know better,” She mutters to you, faking a polite smile for the people watching.

“Yeah, maybe I should, Mom,” You nod, fighting back your tears, “Excuse me.”

You step away from her and Belly and push your way across the garden, towards the side of the house, past the outdoor shower.

“(Y/n)!” Conrad’s voice approaches from behind you.

You keep walking in your direction, refusing to be interrupted until you feel the grip of his arm around your wrist, turning you around.

“Get off me, Conrad,” You pull away from him but his grip remains.

“Talk to me (Y/n)!” He exclaims, “Talk to me, tell me what’s going on.”

“Tell you what’s going on?” You laugh, “Like you don’t fucking know!”

“l do- What do you want me to say?” He looks frantically between your eyes, dropping his hand from your arm.

“I want you to tell me that it’s Belly you want,” You snap, “I want you to tell me that you feel the same way about her as she feels about you.”

“It’s- I mean… it’s complicated.”

“It fucking shouldn’t be!” You yell back, “You chose her, you should know how you feel about her.”

“Chose her? What… you…”

“Yeah, you fucking chose her!” You push his chest, “I was right fucking here Conrad! I was right here! I’ve always been here,” Your voice cracks and tears spill over your cheeks.

Conrad holds your hands over his chest, like he wants to hold onto a piece of you, “(Y/n) I didn’t know.”

“You didn’t know,” You step back, sniffing, “Of course you didn’t.”

“(Y/n)…” His voice trails off as he sees you, the broken version of you that he seemed to cause.

“It’s always been her, hasn’t it? She was Laurel’s favourite daughter, she was the more popular one at school, she’s Susannah’s favourite, she’s… she’s yours. And I was there to just… drive her home, cook her dinner, let her cry, buy her shit to make her feel better. I was just… there.”

He doesn’t speak, watching the way you seem to shrink into yourself at the words.

“I’m never going to be good enough, am I? For Laurel, for this family… for you?”

“(Y/n) please…”

“I’m sorry, I just… I need to…” You clear your throat, dragging a hand through your hair before you hurry inside.

———

You don’t get much sleep that night, instead running over a thousand options in your head before settling on the only one that makes any sense - that you need to go.

By five, you’ve packed up your things into a bag, checked over everything twice to make sure nothing was left behind, and grabbed your keys to head downstairs. The house is silent, and littered with the fancy aftermath of the party. You glance behind you once more and step outside, fleeing towards your car.

“(Y/n)!” Even the sound of your name rings through a trauma from the night before.

You turn around against the bright morning light to see Conrad jogging towards you.

“What are you doing?” He asks you, a frown on his face.

“I’m…” You clear your throat, “I’m just heading out.”

He looks down at the bag in your hand and his shoulders drop, “You’re leaving.”

You take a deep breath, “I… I have to Con.”

“(Y/n) please,” He reaches forward and takes one of your hands into his, “I need you to know, I- I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never wanted that.”

You pull your hand from his grip and cup the side of his face, your thumb brushing his cheek, “Con, I know you didn’t. But, I can’t stay here like this. I can’t be here. Okay?”

He looks away from you momentarily and back up to your eyes, his seemingly losing their hope.

You brush away the strands of hair around his forehead, “I’ll see you around, Fisher.”

—— 2 Years Later ——

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Carmen asks you, perched on the edge of your bed, “I mean, seriously, how long has it been?”

“Two years,” You confirm, folding up another top to put into your bag, “And I think it’s a terrible idea, but I’ve got to bite the bullet eventually.”

“How do you think they’re going to react?” He persists, “Do you think they’ll be mad?”

“Um,” You take a deep breath, “Maybe. I think it’ll be a shock more than anything. I just, I want them to see me, you know? And, look, Jere never did anything wrong. He’s reached out to be a thousand times and I want to be there for him today - that’s all I care about.”

“And who can be mad at a little face like this?” Carmen looks down at the small bundle wrapped in his crib, peacefully asleep for now.

Your son had been born two months ago. You and Carmen had been dating through your first year of college before you fell pregnant. You’d split up only a few weeks before you found out you were expecting, but the two of you had managed to successfully co-parent so far. He came to all of your appointments, asked far too many questions, slept on the spare room in your dorm when he was worried about you, and had held your hand all through the delivery. Since then, you’d managed to both fit your schedules around taking care of your baby. He worked weekends and you worked evenings, he stayed in your dorm when he knew you needed to sleep and you both avoided a fair bit of socialising so that you could be there for your son. It worked. And, more than anything, you were the happiest you’d been.

“Alright little man, be good for Mommy okay?” Carmen lifts up your son, Kylo, from his bed, “I’ll see you soon.”

He sets the baby into his car seat and fixes the straps around his chest.

“I’ll help you get him in the car,” Carmen encourages, following behind you as the two of you leave the dorm and head down towards the parking lot.

He fixes the car seat into its slot in the car, checking it twice before he steps back.

“Alright, I’ll let you know if it’s a disaster and I’ll be driving back tonight,” You laugh a little, “And if you get an SOS text from me please put your foot down and get there as soon as you can.”

Carmen chuckles, squeezing your arm, “It’s going to be fine, okay? They love you and they miss you.”

You nod, “Let’s hope so.”

“Drive safe,” He steps back, letting you get into the drivers seat.

“Wish me luck,” You smile, waving goodbye as you reverse out of the parking spot.

It had been two years since you’d seen the Fishers, and even your own family. You’d left that day at the beach house and not returned. There were countless calls from your Mom, and Steven, and Susannah and Jere. But nothing from Conrad and Belly. You’d moved your things out of your home shortly after and moved into college as early as you could. It has been good for you.

The first big milestone was when you didn’t go home for thanksgiving. All of the family would be at Cousins and you told your Mom you couldn’t make it. The same again at Christmas. Eventually, a few months after, Laurel had stopped trying. She knew you needed your space, as much as she resented you for it. You’d kept in touch with Steven, and Jeremiah still spoke to you as much as he could. But none of them knew about Kylo. You weren’t ready for that yet. This was your son, you’d done it without them then and you could still do it without them. But he deserved to have them in his life. So, when Jeremiah had invited you to his graduation, you’d agreed.

It couldn’t be as bad as it was two years ago, right?

———

As soon as you arrive in Cousins, you stop at the hotel room that you’d booked for the two of you. Sure, you were okay with being here, but that didn’t mean you wanted to stay at the house.

You shoot Jeremiah a text to tell him you’re near and he tells you he’ll be waiting outside. You text Carmen to tell him you’re already considering turning back.

There was just something so strange about seeing these streets again, these houses, these places that held so many memories. And, as you near the water, the house that held more memories for you than anywhere in the world.

True to his word, as you pull up into the driveway, Jeremiah is waiting on the steps for you.

He hurries straight over to the car before you’ve even stepped out.

“Oh my god it’s so good to see you!” He grins, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“You too Jere, I’ve missed you,” You squeeze him in return, “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Wh-“ His face drops a little when he catches sight of the seats in the back of your car, “Why do you have a-“

“Um, yeah,” You laugh a little, “I might’ve forgot to mention I was bringing a plus one.”

You open the side door to the back seats and unclamp the car seat from the chair, lifting it out.

“Jere, this is Kylo,” You let out a shaky breath, “My son.”

Jeremiah’s face drops, dumbfounded, “Oh m- I mean I- Congratulations! He looks exactly like you.”

You chuckle, “I’m sorry I didn’t mention him, I just didn’t know how to say it over a text.”

Jeremiah shakes his head, “Don’t apologise. Come on, nobody’s home, you can come inside.”

He takes your baby bag from you as you carry Kylo into the empty house, a flood of memories hitting you as you do. Nothing had changed here and yet everything had changed with you.

“Do you feel like you’re ready to see everyone?” Jeremiah asks, sitting down beside you on the couch.

“Not in the slightest,” You shake your head, “But I can’t wait any longer.”

“You’re right,” Jeremiah nods, “From what I’ve heard, they’re all just ready for you to come home.”

You smile, lifting Kylo out of his seat, “I’m ready for him to have a family too.”

Jeremiah wraps an arm around your shoulder and squeezes.

“Oh shit, I think that might be their-“ He stops himself, “Yeah, that’s them. Are you okay?”

You take a deep breath and shift your position on the couch, “I’m okay.”

You were far from it. You were sure your mind was racing a million miles a minute, and every muscle in your body was tense. You were sure Kylo could feel it too, whinging in your arms. Part of you wanted to run, but you’d done enough of that two years ago. Not anymore.

“Hey, Jere, who the hell is parked in the-“ It’s Steven’s voice first, “Oh my fucking god!”

He runs into the lounge and freezes instantly, his eyes widening, his mouth agape.

“Hey Steven,” You smile, standing up from the couch.

“You- uh- you…”

Your Mom, Belly and Susannah walk in shortly after, all of them stopping just as your brother had.

“(Y/n)…” Belly looks at you like you’re a piece she’s been missing, “It’s so good to see you.”

“Is this…” Laurel looks down at the boy in your arms.

“This is Kylo, my son,” You look up at her, “Your grandson.”

Her face both lifts and falls at the same time, unsure of what to say.

“Can I?” Laurel asks you, looking down at him, and back to you.

“Of course,” You hand him over, fixing his head into her arms.

Laurel gasps at the contact, smiling gently down at the boy as her eyes fill with tears.

“I’m-“ You clear your throat, no apologies, “I know it’s been a while. But a lot has changed, and I want you to be a part of his life. I want him to have his family.”

Belly steps forward and stretches her arms out to you, stepping once more to engulf you in her arms, her head burying on your shoulder.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” She whispers, sobbing a little into your neck as she tightens her grip.

You smile and hug her just as tightly back, “Me too. I’ve missed you.”

“Alright alright don’t leave me out,” Steven groans, squashing both of you in a hug of his own, towering taller than both of you now.

Belly pulls back and sniffs and you lift your hands to her cheeks, wiping her eyes.

“We’re okay, okay?” You nod at her, the same phrase you used to tell her when the two of you ever argued as kids.

Belly nods, squeezing your hands, “Okay.”

“Oh honey,” Laurel passes Kylo to Susannah who takes him with a bright smile, before your Mom turns to you, “I don’t even know what to say. I had no idea that you… I mean I didn’t even… I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”

You shake your head, “It was me too. We both needed the space, right? We all did.”

She shakes her head too, “I’m just so sorry, I should’ve been there.”

You smile, “You’re here now.”

She steps forward and hugs you too, feeling so much smaller against you than she ever did before, perhaps you just feeling taller.

“You’re a Mom,” Her voice breaks against you, “I’m a Grandma.”

You chuckle and step back from her, “So much to catch you up on.”

Susannah hands Kylo over to Belly as he gets passed around to the waiting arms and she wraps you in a hug of your own, whispering something about how this family had missed you and it hadn’t been the same without you there.

But there was still one piece missing.

You sit down on the couch and Laurel and Susannah sit on either side of you. Belly, Jere and Steven all sit on the coffee table across from you as if they can’t possibly be too far away from you.

“I can’t believe you’re back in Cousins,” Belly smiles, “This is surreal.”

You chuckle, “Yeah, it’s weird. I just couldn’t miss watching Jere graduate.”

He grins, “I’m just glad you accepted the offer.”

Belly passes Kylo over to Steven who holds him as if he’s the most fragile object in the world.

You laugh a little at the sight, pulling out your phone and snapping a photo of the pair. You’d send it to Carmen later - a little sign of ‘hey, my family haven’t completely disowned me’.

“Okay, I have to ask the questions,” Laurel squeezes your arm, “How did this happen?”

“Well, Kylo was born about two months ago. I was dating a boy called Carmen in my first year of college, possibly the nicest guy ever but we realised we were better as friends. And a bit later I found out I was pregnant. He was there the whole time, don’t worry, and we’re surprisingly really good at co-parenting,” You explain, “I know it’s not conventional but, god, I think I was made to be a Mom.”

Steven laughs, “Yeah you got that from raising us three idiots,” He glances to Jere and Belly.

You grin. You’d never considered that when you were growing up. That mothering those three, losing so much of your childhood. It was setting you up for this. For mothering your own child, for bringing him up in your own way.

“He’s a pretty chill baby too,” You comment, “Like sleeps through the night, only wakes up once for a bottle. He even sits into some of my classes.”

“You’re still carrying on with college?” Laurel looks at you slightly shocked.

“Of course, I’ll just graduate with a toddler on my hip,” You beam down at your son in Steven’s arms, “I don’t need to lose my life because I’m taking care of him.”

Laurel looks at you with tears in her eyes before dropping her head to rest on your shoulder, like she’s trying to keep as close to you as she can. You don’t tense under her touch.

———

Later in the day, Jere, Belly and Steven have gone to the store for supplies and Susannah is setting up some bits for Jere’s graduation.

“Hey, do you need any help with anything?” You ask Laurel as she walks into the kitchen, “Kylo’s just had his bottle so I’m free if you need me to help.”

He’s strapped in a wrap to your chest napping against you.

“Oh god no you relax, we don’t need you to help,” Laurel encourages, “Sit down or something.”

“Come on Mom, I can help. What do you want me to do?”

She looks at you and sighs, “I think I spent 18 years asking you to do far too much, maybe I need to be making up for that.”

You clear your throat, “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“I know, I know it’s not,” She shakes her head, “I just… I don’t even feel like you’re my daughter anymore. You’re so grown up, it’s like… you’re too much of an adult to be mine.”

You nod, “Yeah, well, a lot changed.”

“I hate that things got to the point where you felt you had to leave. I mean, I know everything happened with Belly and Conrad but I was just as much to blame, wasn’t I?”

You run your hand over the wrap across your chest where Kylo lay, “I never got a chance to be a kid, Mom. Not properly. It felt like my whole life Id been running one step ahead of them all so that I could catch them before they fell, shaping my whole life around making sure that they were in line and okay and that I was doing enough for you and for them but also making sure my whole life was perfect so that you weren’t disappointed and… it was draining.”

Laurel looks at you with a pained expression, her shoulders dropping with the weight of realisation.

“I went to college to get away from every shitty feeling that all of that gave me. I got away to finally be my own person, for once in my life just think about me,” You smile, “And it was good for me. I healed. I went to a therapist, I cried, I figured out my shit. I’m a different person now but I’ll always be your daughter. And I want Kylo to have his grandma.”

“I want that too,” Laurel beams, “(Y/n) I… I know I never know how to say these things but I’m so proud of you, honestly.”

Before you can respond, the front door clicks open and your head whips around quickly, expectant of who could be walking through.

“He’s at work,” Laurel comforts you, “He’ll be back tonight.”

“I-“

“I’m still your Mom, I know these things.”

You laugh in response as the other three all come into the kitchen, carrying bags of groceries.

“Oooh here Kylo I got you a present,” Steven rummages through the bags to find what he was looking for and eventually pulls out a small brown teddy bear, “Just securing my spot as favourite uncle.”

You grin, taking the bear, “Thank you Uncle Steven.”

“Oooh, we’ve got the beer in the trunk,” Jeremiah reminds him.

“Shit, yeah, we’ll be right back!” Steven says and both of them hurry back out.

“Beer?” You raise your brows at Belly.

She laughs, looking down at the bags, “Yeah, Steven managed to get a fake.”

“Of course he did,” You shake your head, “Want some help unpacking?”

“No, no, I got it,” She encourages, “You’ve got your hands full.”

You wiggle both of your hands in front of her, “The perks of this thing is that both of my hands are free, Bels. Don’t tread on eggshells around me, honestly.”

“Okay, this one is light,” She pushes one bag towards you.

Both of you potter about in silence putting away their food and it’s as if neither of you wants to break the comfortable quiet. This was the most time you’d spent together in two years, and you felt like strangers to each other.

“So, how’s everything going with you?” You ask her, turning back to the kitchen island.

“I’m good,” She nods, “I’m not…” Belly clears her throat, “I’m not seeing anyone.”

You laugh, “Did you not know how to tell me?”

She smiles and hits your arm, “It’s awkward, okay?”

You chuckle at your sister, somehow catching such a glimpse of yourself in her expression.

“We actually… me and Conrad… we ended things not long after you left,” Belly clears her throat, “It was for the best.”

“Bels I didn’t…”

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t because of you. I just think Conrad never really knew what he wanted, and maybe I didn’t either. I thought I was in love with that boy since I could remember, but I don’t think that was love. It was just the idea of him.”

You nod, “Well, younger Belly would probably thank you for figuring that out. But, tell me, is there anyone new on the scene?”

Before she can respond, the boys come tumbling in the front door again and you watch her eyes follow Jeremiah as he moves towards you both. There’s a brightness in them, one you’d only seen in your own when you were with Conrad. That was the feeling she was looking for.

“Jeremiah?!” You mouth to her and Belly widens her eyes at you in warning to not say anything more.

You raise your hands in surrender but give her a somewhat approving look, one that makes her cheeks ignite.

This was a pocket of home that you’d missed. One you didn’t realise you needed. Your siblings, this house, your family. It would always be important to you. And something about it felt even more magical now that you got to experience it with Kylo.

———

You find yourself focused on the sound of the door as if you can wish it to come sooner. Though you’re not sure why. You want to see him but you have no idea what to say to him. You have so much to tell him but you’re not even sure he’ll want to see you. Did he still hate you? Had he ever hated you? Would he hate you for not being here, for leaving?

You busy yourself with fixing the blanket in Kylo’s car seat. Jere and Steven had just gone to collect your stuff from the hotel - you’d agreed to stay at the house now.

And then it goes.

The sound of keys in the door, the door closing behind a familiar pair of feet. Rushed steps up the stairs, a left turn until they’re coming towards you.

And then your bedroom door opens, and a single figure stands in the doorway, slightly breathless.

“I saw your car on the drive.”

You stop in your tracks, the car seat behind your legs.

“I saw your car in the drive and I-“ Conrad begins again, “You’re home.”

You don’t have a chance to respond as he strides over and hugs you as if you’re a lifeline. His head buries into you and his arms around you as if he’s been needing you for years. His eyes are closed against you and you feel him inhale as if your presence had knocked every breath from his lungs.

And for a moment you’re frozen.

Until your arms kick into gear and they throw themselves around him too, holding him just as tight like you’re the only things holding each other up.

You feel him shift against you, that sort of shocked pause.

“(Y/n)…” His voice is quiet as he pulls away from you, “Is this…”

You step to the side to let him go past you as Conrad crouches down to the floor, his whole body cautious.

“This is Kylo.”

“Kylo,” Conrad grins, “You always said that’s the name you wanted for a boy. Do you remember? When we went to the boardwalk and there was that name on the-“

“The leaderboard for the go karts,” You grin, “I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“I can’t believe you did too, you stuck to your word,” He smiles, talking softly as if he doesn’t want to disturb the tiny bundle looking up at him.

Conrad’s fingers are at either side of the car seat and Kylo reaches up to grip onto his thumb. Con laughs like a sort of gasp, as if it is choked in his throat.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” He half-whispers the words and you’re not sure at first if it’s to you or to the boy in front of him.

But you settle on it being both.

Conrad looks back at you and breaks into an even wider grin, standing back up, “Can you just… tell me everything.”

He sits himself down on your bed and you sit down beside him. And this is it. This the final bit of home you were waiting on.

You and Conrad. Him and you. The piece you’d been waiting for.

———

The following morning, you’re up early with Kylo. You carry him downstairs and go about fixing up a bottle for him, the two of you resting on the couch whilst he drinks.

There’s a text from Carmen on your phone.

Hope they don’t hate you too much x

You shoot back a quick response of reassurance and send him a photo of Kylo smiling at you from last night.

Just as Kylo finishes his bottle, there’s a sound from the stairs creaking as someone comes down.

“Morning,” It’s Conrad, dragging a hand over his eyes as he does.

“Hey,” You return softly, “Why are you up so early?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” He grumbles, still in a half asleep state.

He drops down onto the couch next to you and smiles at Kylo, reaching out a finger to tickle his chest.

“Hey, could you do me a favor?” You ask him, “I need to change his diaper but the bag’s upstairs.”

“Yeah sure, what’s it look like?”

“It’s a black one, not the one with the handle but with the straps, and it’s like-“ You pause as you notice him watching you more and more confused, blinking at your explanation, “Okay, I’ll get the bag. Can you just watch him for a second?”

“That’s much easier,” Conrad grins and shifts on the couch so that he can hold the baby in his arms.

You stand up and head towards the door, hurrying upstairs to find the bag.

When you come back down, Conrad has Kylo stretched across his legs, his little feet hitting Conrad’s stomach and his head resting against his knees. He’s smiling down at him and Kylo grins tiredly up, giggling when Conrad tickles under his arms.

“You’re a natural,” You grin, coming down to sit beside him.

He looks up at you and raises his brows, “You think?”

“Well, he seems to like you,” You point out, not wanting to disturb the moment between them.

Conrad wiggles his hands beneath Kylo’s head and lifts him up, looking at you, “Where do you want me to put him?”

You snap back into reality, “Oh, right, yeah I’ve got a mat.”

He lowers the baby down onto it and then looks at you like he’s awaiting further instruction, “Come on, tell me what to do.”

“You want to change his diaper?” You laugh, “I can do it.”

“I’ve never done one before. I want to learn.”

“Alright, here,” You hand him over the wipes and a fresh diaper.

He’s far too slow when he starts and Kylo starts to wriggle on the mat, impatient of course.

“Does this thing not stay still?” Conrad grumbles, tongue between his lips as he concentrates on the task, his face grimacing just a little at the state of the dirty diaper.

“Put that one in here,” You hold out a diaper bag for him to dispose of it, “Alright, now wipe and new diaper. But make sure he’s covered - he’s a boy so that stuff can go everywhere.”

Conrad’s eyes widen as he takes your instruction, fixing the new diaper on - just a little wonky.

“There we go, fresh as a daisy,” He grins proudly at his accomplishment, “I think I could be pretty good at this.”

“Well that’s task two - making him laugh being task one,” You nod, “Not bad, Fisher.”

He lifts him back up onto the couch and lays him down beside you, Conrad sitting on the floor just in front of him like he’s already prepared to catch him.

He lets Kylo grab at the end of his hoodie, laughing at him before he turns to you.

“So, how does it all work? Are you… with someone?”

You shake your head, “We split up before I found out I was pregnant. But we’re really good friends, so it works. He helps out a lot.”

Conrad nods, “Well that sounds healthy.”

“What can I say? I’m mature now,” You joke.

“I think you always were,” He scoffs, “Especially compared to the rest of us.”

Both of you fall silent again and Kylo fills the space by gargling in some form of baby talk.

“What about you?” You clear your throat, drawing your legs to your chest on the couch, “Are you seeing anyone Mr Stanford?”

He scoffs, looking down at his hands, “No, no, I think I needed to stay away from all that for a little while. Clear my head.”

“And did you find anything in that clarity?” You taunt, yearning for the same connection the two of you had so long ago.

He looks at you for a second and pauses, “I guess I finally figured out what I want.”

For a brief moment you’re drawn to him, something in those eyes and that voice. But you tear yourself away.

“Well I’m glad the break was worth it,” You smile, looking away from him, “Sometimes that’s all that you need.”

You look down at your son and feel the same swell of pride you had when they first handed him to you in the delivery room. The same realisation that this was it now - this was everything.

“You know this place changed when you left,” Conrad comments, “And it’s changed again now you’re back.”

“Yeah, well, I always had that effect,” You wiggle your brows jokingly, lifting Kylo up from the couch to rest him on your lap.

Conrad pushes himself up to sit on the couch beside you and both of you fall silent in the seemingly empty house. He watches you with Kylo and is sure for a second that he’s looking at someone else. But it’s you. The one that was always made for this.

“I’m sorry if I-“

“I’m sorry if I-“

You both speak at the same time and look at each other with hints of smiles.

“You first,” Conrad encourages.

You take a deep breath, “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t be with Belly. She told me you guys ended things not long after and I just hate thinking that I was… I don’t know, that I ruined things,” You shake your head, “I know it was forever ago.”

“You didnt ruin anything. Me and Belly… we… I think I always knew that she liked me. And I just, I hated the thought of breaking her heart. Like it would be my fault if I didn’t feel the same. And that night, I don’t know what it was, I just convinced myself that I could feel the same as she did,” He takes a deep breath too, like both of you are fighting for air against tightened chests, “But we’re must better as friends, we both know that. And I’d never… I never did… feel that way about her. I was just confused.”

You nod, “Now you go.”

“I’n sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren’t good enough,” Conrad exhales, “Because I know that’s how you felt, and I never ever wanted you to think like that.”

“Con…”

“Im serious (Y/n),” He shifts in his seat so that he’s facing you properly, “I was younger and naive and I knew that I liked you and I just… suppressed it. Because I knew if I started anything with you then I’d want that to be it, and I wasn’t ready for you to break my heart.”

You laugh a little, your eyes pricking just slightly with tears, “You think I’m a heartbreaker, Fisher?”

Conrad smiles, his cheeks flushed a little, his muscles visibly relaxed from what they were. He’d missed this. You, the way you knew him, the way you read him. He’d missed it all.

———

“We’ll watch him, you can go and shower,” Belly assures you, “And I’ll make sure Steven doesn’t do anything stupid.”

You’d spent the day in and around the pool with Belly, Steven and Jeremiah whilst Conrad had gone to work. They’d bought a float for Kylo at the store and were all impatient to use it - taking a thousand photos of him with his hat on laying back in the float.

“Alright, well just shout me if there’s anything,” You encourage, “I’ll just use-“

“(Y/n),” Steven says in a calm tone, “Relax, we’ve got him, I promise.”

You nod and step off of the lounger you’d been on, walking around the side of the house to where the outdoor shower still stood.

This place. It held memories you’d wanted to forget.

Before you step in, your phone starts ringing and you glance down to see Carmen’s contact on your screen, you accept the call and press the speaker button on your phone.

“Hey (y/l/n), how’s it going?” He says as soon as you pick up.

“It’s going well, yeah,” You turn back around to the garden where Belly was holding Kylo in her arms, “They’re all so excited to meet him.”

“Do they know about his super cool, super helpful, super present Dad yet?” Carmen taunts.

“They do,” You chuckle into the microphone, “They’re glad I haven’t been doing it on my own.”

“Yeah, well, they would’ve known that if they tried-“

“Carmen,” You sigh, “Less hating them, yeah? It’s going well.”

“Okay, you’re right, but I’m still not their biggest fans,” He comments, “What about the long lost love of your life?”

“Oh my god will you stop?” You widen your eyes at his words.

“Come on, I know that’s who you were most nervous to see,” He returns, “How’s it been? Do you still… you know, feel that way about him?”

“I-“ You glance down at the exact spot you’d been stood in two years ago, when you’d told Conrad the truth, “It’s Conrad, you know? He makes me laugh and he listens to me and he feels like… it feels like the piece of me that I’ve been missing.”

Carmen laughs, “And I’m guessing you haven’t told him that.”

“I already ruined things with that boy once, I can’t do it again.”

“Ruin things? (Y/l/n) I think you’d be telling him what he’s been waiting to hear for two years.”

Before you can say anything, the sound of a twig snapping behind you makes you jump from your thoughts and you turn around to see Conrad stood just metres from you.

“Um, Carmen, I have to go,” You stumble over your words into the microphone, “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wear protection!” He yells down the phone before you hang up, your cheeks flushing bright red as you look back at Conrad.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to-“ Conrad mumbles, scratching at the back of his neck, “I just got back from work.”

“Right, yeah, of course, how- how was it?”

“Good,” Conrad nods, stuffing his hands into his pockets, “I didn’t mean to listen in, or anything. I just… I don’t even normally walk this way, I don’t know why I did but I thought I could hear people and so I thought maybe you were outside, not that I was looking for you, but well I was-“

“Con,” You interrupt, “It’s okay.”

He smiles, taking a second to breathe, “That was Carmen?”

You look down at your phone in your hand, “Yeah, just calling to check how I’m getting on. It’s the first time he’s been away from Kylo too.”

Conrad nods in understanding, “Yeah, of course, I bet that’s weird for him.”

“Yeah I don’t think I could ever leave Ky now, it’s a parent thing, I guess,” You scratch at a patch on your arm as the nerves seem to overtake you, “I should probably… you know, I need to shower before tonight and I-“

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll let you get on,” Conrad raises his hands and goes to step past you as you step into the booth of the shower.

You don’t make any move after that, thinking of every single thing you could’ve just said to him. How two years ago every word came to you all at once and, now, you can’t find a single right word to say. You feel your bottom lip tremble just slightly at the thought of everything you could’ve just told him but you shake it off.

“Hey, (Y/n),” Conrad’s voice speaks from the exact spot you’d just left him in, “What did he want you to tell me?”

You feel every bone in your body freeze at those words, practically sending a shiver down your spine. Your hands go numb, your eyes glazing over, your throat seemingly closing off any words.

As you turn around back to the entrance of the shower, there he is. Stood on the path with a look of hope in his eyes that you thought you’d never see again from Conrad.

“What did he want you to say?” He persists, eyes burning into you.

You exhale deeply, the tension in your shoulders dropping as if you’ve lost hope, “That I never should’ve walked away from you that night. And I hate myself every day for not fighting for you more, for not standing there and telling you that I’d wait for you. I’d wait for you in every life if that’s what it took for you to realise that you loved me. And I know I shouldn’t and I know it’s different now because I have a son and that’s complicated and you don’t have to want that or feel like you have to-“

He strides forward then, his hands coming up to cup either side of your face, his lips crashing into yours as if they’re returning home for the first time in forever. It’s messy and rushed and heated but neither of you care, both relaxing into a feeling you never thought you’d feel. Your hands grip at the material of his t-shirt like you’re convincing yourself that he’s real. And he is. It’s all real.

Your lips pull away first, rushing to catch every ounce of breath that had just been knocked from your lungs.

“I’d wait for you, (y/n). In this life, the next and the next after that, I’d wait for you too,” Conrad confirms, his eyes searching in both of yours, “This is it, okay? This is what I want, it’s what I’ve always wanted.”

You let out a laugh, somewhere verging on a sob as every emotion of every missed day seems to come out of you, “We’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”

Conrad smiles, his hand moving to your chin to pull you into his lips once more.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” He mumbles just millimetres from your lips.

“I think I have some idea,” You return with a smile, kissing him quickly.

This was it. In this life, the next one and the one after that - this was where you could be truly happy.

[fitzells]

request for conrad bringing his girlfriend to the boardwalk in e4 with the group??? maybe a distraction kiss during the laser tag game so bellys team wins instead

i’m like a conrad fisher blurb machine. seriously. requests still open for all characters. hope i did this justice!!!! belly conklin i love u and ur need to win everything u are the love of my life. this NOT PROOFREAD! and not written very well i can do better trust. ok bye.

You like seeing him happy. It suits him. His entire face just lights up the minute his lips contorts into a grin, it’s contagious. He needed this day, with his friends. With Jeremiah. With you. He really needed you here in Cousins; but Conrad Fisher is not known for being vulnerable, he’s not even remotely close to an open book. So, a couple of days ago, when he opened the front door to be greeted with you, Jeremiah and Belly; it took all of his strength to stop himself from breaking down on the spot.

He hadn’t seen you in a while, and you both blame it on the distance; really, you do. That’s why you love summer so much. Cousins. The beach-house. It’s just for you and Conrad; for a little while, it’s just magical. He knows he could be putting more of an effort in, but he really doesn’t want you to see how low he gets. You’re his sunshine; and he really doesn’t want to dampen that.

You were tucked into his chest now, peering up at him and feeling the pure serenity rushing through your veins at the sight of him smiling. You love him so much it hurts.

“Laser tag!” Belly snaps you out of your daze, her fiery competitiveness making you jolt a little. “Hey, Conrad; hands off my girl. No mind games, I’ve got my eye on you.”

She gestures for you to stand over with her, Taylor and Skye. Taylor narrows her eyes at Conrad, and sends you a happy little grin as she reaches her hand out for you to grab at. You shrug your shoulders, swivelling your head away from your boyfriends attempt to kiss you a quick goodbye; and all of your friends laugh loudly at the rejection.

“Yeah, Conrad.” You snide. “No mind games.”

He flips you off.

“We actually don’t need mind games. We’re simply the better team.” Steven declares. Conrad and Jeremiah yell out agreements as the three of them wrap their arms around each other.

You spin on your heel and face your three teammates. “Four against three. We have an advantage he—“

Conrad boos loudly. “You have no advantage.”

“Ignore him.” Belly chimes in, the two of you standing before Taylor and Skye. You nod. “We have to beat them. Game face on; in it to win it. Team Belly for life.”

“Oh please, that’s the worst pep talk I’ve ever heard!” Your boyfriend laughs. Steven and Jeremiah spew out words of agreement.

You raise your eyebrows. “Okay, Fisher. You wanna trash talk? Because remember that night I went to visit you and your dorm hall was empty and you wanted to—“

His face falls, and turns bright red. “Alright! Let’s play.”

Belly pulls you in for a hug. “Hit him where it hurts, I like it. Also.. I’m gonna need to hear that story later.”

You grin.

The game is actually not as lighthearted as one would think. So, maybe you’re all in your late teens; and maybe it’s a game aimed for six year olds’ birthday parties, regardless; you have a competitive streak that could possibly be labelled a little toxic. You need to win, badly. You’ve hit Steven and Jeremiah, easily. Your main target is Conrad; and you can’t seem to find him anywhere. Until you do, and you smile sweetly.

“Hi.” You whisper. He smiles and greets you back.

You hold your hands up in surrender. “I come in peace.”

You get a little laugh from him; and he shakes his head. You melt a little. “You know, you’re cute when you’re all competitive. Maybe slightly hot, too.”

You gasp. “Only slightly?”

“Super.”

“If I promise not to shoot, will you kiss me? Please.” You hit him with the puppy dog eyes and suddenly he finds himself not even caring about this game anymore. He loves you so much it makes him feel ill.

“Promise you won’t shoot?”

“Promise I won’t shoot.”

He pulls you in by your waist and kisses you softly, then a little harder. Your hands find his hair and you stand up on your tiptoes to deepen it. This is way too lovey dovey for an arcade. You fear not even Cam Cameron could prevent you guys from getting kicked out if some overprotective mother stumbles upon you.

He’s zapped in the back, and he freezes. Grimacing in aggravation when he hears Belly’s evil cackle from a few feet behind him. She doesn’t stop zapping, maybe enjoying it a little too much. You bite down on your bottom lip to trap your laughter.

“You promised.” He whines.

“Promised that I wouldn’t shoot. Unfortunately, Belly is a force to be reckoned with. The woman cannot be contained.” You shrug, and Belly hits him with a yeah, suck it Conrad.

He sighs. “So that was planned, then.”

“Yes and no.”

He falls in to step with you as Belly races forward to claim your spot as the winning team. “And no?”

“I was told to kiss you. Just not like that. That was..” Your voice trails off. “Wow. That was just wow.”

He laughs, and you laugh with him. “I love you, you know that? Like a lot.”

“Good. You should love me.” You exclaim, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I’m the world's best girlfriend.”

He nods, pushing the stray hairs on your face behind your ears. “You are. Seriously.”

You kiss him again, this time there’s no ulterior motive. You’re just sickeningly in love.

[lafleshlumpeater]

Conrad Fisher x Reader (fake dating)

warnings: one swear word, fake dating, fem!reader, mutual pining, mentions of food, lmk if there's anything i've missed<3

TYSM @diqldrunk FOR INSPIRING ME TO WRITE THIS YOU'RE THE BEST<3

conrad fisher masterlist

“Remind me why I’m being your girlfriend again?” You ask, kicking the passenger compartment in front of you nervously as Conrad drove next to you.

He takes the next right, glancing at the GPS as you do. Shit. Almost there.

“I told you, remember? My mom thinks I’m lonely and depressed and she keeps trying to set me up with her friends’ daughters.”

Nibbling your lip, you frown. “And you thought I was the best person to do this because-?”

“It’s believable,” he reassures, fingers drumming against the steering wheel in repetition. Your eyes scan him up and down. Not checking him out, of course, but because you want to see if the two of you look good enough together for the story to be plausible. You can’t picture it.

“I mean, look at you,” he speaks, slightly distracted with trying to keep below the speed limit, yet still managing to effortlessly read your racing mind. “You look like the definition of someone I would date.”

You try not to smile at that, smoothing your pleated black skirt down over your thighs. You had asked if it was too formal earlier, paired with your maroon sweater and black tights, but Conrad had assured you it was fine and that ‘you look… great’, and maybe you were reading too much into it but you could have sworn you noticed his blue- green eyes (you could never really tell which) linger on your elegant neck and down at your calves through the sheerness of the fabric poorly concealing them.

You put it down to your wishful thinking, seeing things that weren’t actually happening.

The car comes to a stop, causing you to immediately snap out of your spiralling thoughts.

“We’re here.”

You instantly rummage through your crimson leather handbag for a mirror and check your immaculate reflection. Pristine eyeliner, lip stain steadfast, hair in behaving. Conrad turns to you, noticing your jittery movements.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?” You cringe internally at the way you respond too quickly, and you find yourself wishing you had just stayed in your dorm all day, lounging around and eating ice cream and watching cheesy rom- coms.

“You really don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to. I can just tell my mom that you feel really ill-”

“No, honestly, I’m…” Your teeth peek out again to gnaw on your lip. “I’m- fine?” The fact that it comes out like a question causes your eye to twitch.

He steps out of the car, shutting his door and comes around to open yours. You almost scoff. Why does he have to be so gentlemanly?

Conrad’s hand tentatively reaches up to your face, delicately pulling your thumb from your incessant teeth. “Are you sure?” He persists, and his voice is so gooey and thick with something you would love to assume is tenderness. You wonder if it was a waste of time deciding on your new designer blush that you’d been saving to wear for the first time.

Your words fail you as your breath hitches in your throat, and you can do little more than nod. “What if- what if I mess it up, and she realises that, we’re not really… dating?”

Conrad tucks a tuft of hair away behind his ear, something you’d been aching to do for most of the drive. “She won’t,” he says firmly. “I trust you.” A laugh almost escapes your throat as you realise he has more trust in you than you possess in yourself, but you push the thought aside as you realise he’s staring at you intently, awaiting an answer. You nod, and his face pulls up into that gorgeous grin which frequently haunts your daydreams during the dreary college lectures. It’s infectious, and you find yourself beaming very similarly as he offers his hand to you, helping you out of the car. It’s impossible to find his courteousness overbearing, not when he squeezes your hand as if telling you it’s okay or his eyes flicker to you for a moment, but the look in them feels like he’s looking at you like you’re his everything, and you’re not sure if that makes you adore or be wary of him.

You’re still pondering this when mere seconds after Conrad knocks on the door it swings open. A woman, who you assume is aged somewhere around forty- five, stands at the doorway and from the face- splitting smile on her face you can just tell she’s the life and soul of every party. “You’re here!” She hugs her son first, and you stand somewhat awkwardly beside them when she releases your ‘boyfriend’ and observes you, but you can tell from the sparkling glint in her eyes that it’s not for the sake of criticising but out of genuine inquisitiveness.

The woman you deduce is Susannah meets your eyes. Although her face is precisely lined with age, there’s a pleasant sense of life and hope and quintessence in her gaze. She greets you by your name, and you’re not surprised- Conrad had mentioned calling his mother earlier that morning.

You reach out for a handshake and she surprises you, wrapping her arms around you- warm and motherly. You reciprocate the gesture, and guilt fills you at the lies you are to spoon feed her.

During the delicious (late) lunch of homemade food, you’re bombarded with questions. How you and Conrad met, if you shared any classes, your family, your hobbies… everything and anything. And not just by Susannah, either, but by Conrad’s brother, who you kept forgetting the name of but knew it started with ‘J’.

Susannah’s eyes switch between you and her older son. “So, are you looking for something long- term, or-?”

A dusting of pink covers the tops of Conrad’s cheeks and nose- something you don’t see enough, and you’re indecisive as to whether you love or hate that the sight turns your insides to mush. “Mom.”

You hold his hand over the table, playing your role perfectly. “It’s fine,” you say, accompanied with a tinkly laugh. “In full honesty, I’m not one hundred percent sure. But…” You turn to stare at the boy beside you, his hand growing clammy in yours- “I’m pretty sure we’re both planning on staying together. Your son is a very special person, and I care about him very much- I’m so lucky to have him.”

You want to sigh and laugh at the irony at the same time- your last sentence was the embodiment of black and white; the first part had been completely true; Conrad was special, and you wished with your whole heart he could be yours, but you definitely did not ‘have’ him.

 It wasn’t anything you didn’t know; Conrad Fisher could just simply, never be yours.

“But equally,” you carry on when Susannah nods in satisfaction. “We’re both young, and… anything could happen. Right, babe?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Conrad nodded, but when he turns to you his eyes flash with content and he offers you a genuine half- smile, both gestures saying more than words ever could, and you knew he was satisfied with your deliberately vague response.

A little while after, Conrad excuses both you and himself to rest a while in his room, because of ‘the long journey’. You obliged without needing to consult him; you knew the effort of keeping the act up was mentally draining from first- hand experience.

He shuts the door behind you both and falls back on his bed, kicking his shoes off. Standing self- consciously, you wonder if he minds you sitting on his bed, of all places, or not.

He raises an eyebrow. “You can sit, you know.”

You sit on the edge of the bed, fiddling with the thin chain around your wrist. 

“Hey, thanks for… thanks for doing this for me.”

You look up, surprised. “You don’t need to thank me. Just a friend helping out a friend,” you feign nonchalance, not meeting his gaze at your heart squeezes painfully at your own words.

“No, I’m serious,” he goes on. “I love my mom, but she’s been going on about me getting with someone for ages. You’re a life- saver.”

You look down at where he’s resting his arms behind his head next to you, the first two buttons of his black button- up undone. Your eyes fight to remain focused on his. “You’re good.”

His eyes narrow, eyelashes fringing observant irises as he sits up. The fact that he’s now closer than before doesn’t escape you. “You’re not uncomfortable by all this, right?”

“Not at all. I’ve really enjoyed meeting your mom, even under… unusual circumstances.” He smiles at that, no teeth but all dimples and your fingers twitch with wanting to trace over them. His eyes remain trained on you for a couple more seconds. You iron your hands over your skirt again, a repetitive, nervous tic.

Conrad shuffles slightly closer- your heart flirts enticingly with your thoughts, convincing your brain that the distinct smell of ocean spray and wet sand was coming from the handsome boy next to you and not through the open window.

“Hey.”

Your head tilts up to look at him- startled slightly, but not unpleasantly so when you realise you’ve miscalculated how close he actually was. Every detail on his face is visible; the unreal sharp of his jawline, the faint freckle just under his left eye you yearn to kiss…

“You’re beautiful,” he mutters under his breath- you almost miss it, it’s so sudden.

“Wha- what?” 

“You’re beautiful,” he says simply, as if it’s a well- known fact everyone knows. Your stomach flips and suddenly the white of the ceiling looks very interesting. “Hey, look at me.”

You do.

“I’m serious. You’re really pretty and I-”

“Where is all this coming from?” You interrupt.

Conrad looks bewildered. “What do you mean?”

“Like, do you just feel bad because I did this for you? Or is it something-”

What Conrad does next stuns you; all of a sudden, his hand is on the side on your neck, his thumb caressing along your jaw and his lips are pressed to yours, sweet and all- consuming and slightly wet but it’s everything you’ve dreamed about and more, causing you to melt into him with your eyes closed, arms tentatively creeping around his neck.

You don’t know whether it’s been a minute or an hour, but it’s definitely been a while, judging by the telltale screaming of your lungs for oxygen.

Time is a strange thing.

Pulling away for a gasp of air, you can’t help but giggle at the faint red marks of colour on the boy’s lips. He smiles, albeit confused, sneaking an arm around your waist. “What?”

“You’ve got a little…” You reach out and gently wipe the smudge away with a manicured fingernail. He’s still staring at you intensely.

“I really like you, you know.”

Your lips quirk upwards, fixing his slightly creased collar. “Nice to know it’s not just because you think I’m pretty.”

His jaw tenses, thinking you’ve misunderstood, but he relaxes quickly when he sees the playful glimmer reflecting in your pupils. “It isn’t. You’re… amazing. Smart, funny, great sense of humour-”

“You talk too much,” you cut across him, pulling him down for another sweet kiss which you both smile into.

taglist: @kimorna

READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

[kokomos]

ᝰ  head–strong   ˖  ࣭  ⭑  ☽

— starring  CONRAD FISHER ! 𔓘

MDNI 18+

warning: explicit, sexual themes.

description: your boyfriend is a munch.

tags: fem! reader, gf! reader; established relationship, fem! receiving oral, eating out, smut

honey's note: tsitp fans rise pls!!! more to come <3

conrad’s a smart boy; you already knew this. though many people fail to realize the extent of his intelligence, how naturally skilled he is with romantic or even intimate affairs. he wouldn't call it this, but he plays you like a fiddle. each button he presses gets the exact reaction, consequence he was aiming for. you don't mind too much, though, even if he were to admit it—because what's a little shame matter when it's in exchange for the best head of your life?

times like these always start the same; with the hanging out on the bed, then some making out, and eventually he's got you all hot and bothered. perfect time for him to pop the question: “can i taste you?”

or maybe he's feeling like teasing you more that day, let his playful side run rampant for a change. forget hot and bothered—you’re aching for more, nearly starved from the way he keeps dangling the notion you desire most right before your nose.

kissing you with just enough fervor to leave you panting for your next breath, for more, he pulls back with the faintest of smirks. the look on your face, cheeks flushed and eyes glazed over, has him feeling a twinge of pride. he knows he's being a little mean right now, but he also knows you're a few seconds away from begging for it. he's a good boyfriend, how could he say no to you? especially when you blink your lashes at him and pout your lips just slightly, desperately longing for something only he could provide.

he’s gentle when he gets you on your back, legs spread and thighs resting just overtop his biceps. the hold he has on you, his face so close to the most sensitive part of yourself, is firm yet yielding altogether. any sound of displeasure, words to halt his actions—he’s perceptive, open ears because conrad fisher isn't a selfish man. he's caring, in most simplest of terms; though you would come to describe him as, knightly in the way he treats others—treats you.

kisses along your inner thighs signal what's soon to come, no pun intended. with your panties discarded to the side, bunched up with the wetness he'd already elicited from you, he places one last peck before moving to place one on your clit. the action makes your lower half jolt. even so, with the way he's got your legs hooked under his arms, the movement was already being restricting to a mild jerk of your hips. he'll let out an exhale through his nose, almost a chuckle that he manages to stifle just enough (thankfully). the last thing he wants is for you to get all sulky because he ‘laughed at you’—an argument, if you can even classify it as such, that had been brought up in the past. he can't really help it when every little thing he does gets you so riled up. it's endearing, as he puts it; and the fallacy literally dies on your tongue when you're cumming on his that night. “a way to make it up to you,” you vaguely recall him whispering before your memory went blurry from the way your body quite literally melted beneath his touch.

he really is such a smart man. what further way to prove it than with you?

soft, little kitten licks at your slit and his nose bumping oh-so perfectly into your clit. his tongue nuzzles past the entrance when he finally lets himself indulge in the way you taste. instinctively, your velveteen walls clench around the spongy mess probing your insides. he doesn't get greedy, though, no. he'll take his time exploring every crevice and dip in your core, treasuring and mapping out which parts really make you squeal. he knows you��knows you better than anyone. how to make your toes curl, your eyes roll towards the back of your head… all him. never would he dare voice the smug satisfaction he gets when you're holding back a scream of his name, hand clasping at your mouth to muffle the sound. when you reach that peak, he's quick to return back to tracing your clit with his tongue, docile and assuasive. his eyes, having been kept on you the entire time, now wait for yours to open. though heavy and lidded, you manage to meet the gaze of your boyfriend. the pure ecstasy, a result of conrad’s adroitness in regards to eating out, had prevented you from eyeing anything but the back of your head.

when your body settles down, chest no longer heaving from the orgasm, he’d send one lick up your clit before pulling off. with a few kisses to your thighs again, he lets you regain your lost composure before deciding to ask if he can continue. your hand tucking some fingers in the brunette tendrils atop his head let him know that now is the most opportune time for his request. he’d trail a few kisses up past your hips, ghosting your tummy and chest as he hovers above you once more.

“you did a good job, baby,” he murmurs the praise fondly. “got another one you wanna give me?”

ᡣ𐭩 with love , honey!!

[k0juki]

Nothing to worry about

Liam Stewart x reader

All genders are possible! English is not my first language so feel free to point out any mistakes or errors!

A/n: Just a small drabble:) requests are open! More posts here!

Words: 268

---

Liam was smitten. Absolutely. When he first saw you smiling at him, he felt that tug at his heart. He felt the need to give you everything and anything you want, even though you both knew he had nothing to give you, but his love.

"What are you thinking about?" You asked, as you slowly approached him and wrapped your arms around him from behind. He was guarding around the camp, looking for any danger and/or stopping other people from leaving camp.

"You shouldn't be here, you know?" He said and smiled a little. It was weird, he should have noticed when you sneaked on him from behind, but he didn't. Something was on his mind and you've senced, it was probably either you or his duties. 

"Yeah, I know," you answered "but I wanted to see you" you admitted as your voice was getting a lot quieter. Everyone from your group started to notice how you didn't like the camp so much compared to others. 

Even Liam had his own doubts about this amazing camp, but he didn't want to admit it just like you. He knew that everywhere else you and others would be in danger and he had promised himself and most importantly you, that he will do anything, for you to be safe, no matter what. 

As he heard that tone in your voice, he turned himself in your hold to get a better look at you. "It's gonna be alright." He softly said and cupped your face in his hands. His blue eyes looking into yours.

"We just have to hold on.”

---

Don't copy or translate my work! Also the picture is not mine! Credit goes to owner!

[bonesandchalamet]

the fourth - j.fisher

masterlist

pairings: Jeremiah fisher x fem!reader

warnings: minor spelling/grammatical errors + fluff

a/n: super excited for the second season ��😁

the Fourth of July on cousins beach was something else. it was far different from the normal parties at home. there were fireworks for miles at almost every hour of the night. the sky lit up in colors of red, white, blue, and sparkling shimmery gold.

there was nothing more magical than cousins beach lit up under the beautiful dazzling display.

however, you could think of a view much more beautiful to stare at. Jeremiah fisher.

he was one of Susannah’s boys that you began to develop a crush on. you’d seen him lifeguarding the pool from time to time. he’d been on the stand at your very first time at the country club, and while he was rotating around the pool, he crouched down to where you rest against the ledge, “you shouldn’t be in this pool.” he says, a playful smirk forms against his lips, “you’re making my job harder.”

from that point forward, you made it your mission to show up to that damn country club and in whatever skimpy bikini you could find to impress him. it’s what got you invited to the summer bash on the beach with his friends.

“this is Steven, who you’ve met he works at the club, belly, and my brother conrad. guys this is y/n.”

“you come here every summer?” belly asks, she’s the first to whisk you away from the three boys while they searched for the keg or any sightings of drinks.

“no, this is my first time.” you follow her along the sand, allowing the grains to slip into your sandals before situating yourselves towards the water.

“I can see you have an eye for Jeremiah.” belly nudges your shoulder before quickly turning her head in search of the boys. there wasn’t a sight of them for miles, so the coast was clear to chat of them, “he likes you too. he talks about you a lot.”

her emphasis makes you blush. having not known Jeremiah well enough, or even close enough, you’re unsure if he does this often. you’re unsure if it’s compliment that he speaks about you, or if he does this so often it’s annoying for his friends.

you don’t have too much time to question her before Jeremiah is kicking sand in your face and plopping down against the sand beside you. he’s brought two red solo cups, one for you and the other for him.

“thank you.” you smile. you take the cup from his hand, fingers briefly touching, his hand is wet from the condensation of the cup. you’re blushing even harder than when belly was talking about him, and you’re so thankful for the stars and the dark skies to mask it.

“I think shayla is here we should go find her.” belly suggests to conrad and Steven. while the three get up you catch belly’s eyes and she flashes a wink in your direction. you owe her for next time, and you’re sure there will be another.

“so you’ve never seen the fireworks here?” he scoots closer to you, thighs briefly brushing against each other.

you feel the butterflies in your stomach erupt as you look over into his eyes. the stars reflect in them, you can feel your heart beating faster when he looks over at you.

just as you begin to reply, the eruption of the crackles in the sky startles everything in you. you subconsciously jump closer to him, and feel his arm wrap around your shoulders, “I got you, it’s okay.” he chuckles while pulling you almost into his lap.

“I’m sorry I’m not normally scared.” you reply with a chuckle. you’re hesitant to relax against his body. he smells of sun tan lotion and a mixture of cologne, you could get used to that.

he turns his head in your direction. a small smile forms against his lips, “you’re beautiful under these stars.”

you inch closer, eyes glued on his lips. this is the only thing you could ever want. a kiss under the stars, fireworks erupting in the background. you want this.

you wonder what his lips taste like. do they taste like the beer he just drank? or perhaps the cherry popsicle he was previously sucking on that turned his lips bright red. the curiosity was killing you.

“that one’s pretty.” he swivels his head in the direction of the sky, index finger pointed at the golden shimmer against the darkness. you watch them for a moment, how they shimmer and dazzle.

for a moment, you feel the world stop around you. like life beyond you is just background noise and the fireworks are all you can see. you feel like a little kid again, wondering what life was like on cousins at age eight. you wonder how cute Jeremiah was then. you wonder if his family and belly’s did sparklers or cozied up under a fire to witness these very same Fourth of July fireworks.

it’s then when he takes his chance. he gently places his index finger under your chin and turns your face towards him. the curls that brush against his forehead gently tickle your forehead as he leans in. his lips fit like a glove. they taste like a mixture of cherry popsicle and bitter wheat beer he was illegally drinking.

you can feel fireworks in your own stomach erupting. they shoot up and dazzle over and over as he keeps kissing you. his hand is wrapped around the base of your head, fingers tangled in your hair.

“you taste like beer.” you say finally pulling away for air. you feel like you’re floating above water. heart is full of so much joy you’re smiling wider than you ever thought you could.

“is that why you stopped?”

you shake your head brushing a couple of strains of hair that stuck to your face from the wind, “no, I never wanna stop.”

“good,” he pauses for a second, fingers lacing into your hair again, “me neither.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Mission Report

Warnings: power imbalance, blood, and some untagged dark elements.

Summary: James is unhappy about the last mission.

Note: please leave some feedback and reblog. It's just a short drabble but I do enjoy chatting it up with y'all. Love yas.

James Conrad is a complicated man, but so easy to read. When he's unhappy, everyone knows it. His silence isn't unusual but it's different, and that tick in his cheek is assurance of pending consequence.  

"Dismissed." He declares. The first word he's spoken in the last hour.  

You don't blame him. There's holes in his shirt where bullets glanced by him. Friendly fire in the frantic scene of defense.  

Gaston doesn't look at his boss, the man he almost ended with his own misfire, and the others are deathly quiet as they back away from the table and shuffle out. You follow but not quick enough. Conrad calls you back.  

You stop in the doorway and glance over your shoulder. You just want to be alone in your cot. You're no less culpable than the rest for the chaos.  

Conrad found you huddled behind a tree.  

"Where's your sidearm?" He asked as he wrenched you up by your elbow. 

Sure, you know how to aim and fire, but you're a medic, not a mercenary. Your pistol was lost in the mud along with your courage. 

"Sir," you face him. 

"Close the door," he orders you. 

You obey. You push until the mechanism catches. He leans forward and winces, a small his escaping through his teeth. He reaches over his head and tugs at the back of his collar. He strips away his tattered shirt and throws it on the metal table. 

He doesn't need to give his next command. You have a job so you do it. You rest your hand on the kit that rests against your hip. You lift the thick strap over your head as you approach the table. 

You put the kit down and unzip it. He's silent. Still. He pushes back the chair, anglong towards you. Along with the small nicks of bullet grazes are black streaks of gun powder. 

You take a sterilizing wipe and bend to clean away the dry blood and dirt. He doesn't even flinch. His inaction, his silence, is throttling. 

You clear your throat as you unwrap an adhesive bandage. The large patch is big enough to cover the breadth of one side of his rib cage. He won't need stitches thankfully.  

As you press it into place, he sighs.  

"You panicked," he says. 

You're too ashamed to look him in the face. 

"Panic gets people killed." 

You weren't the only one, yet you're the only one he kept behind. 

"Yes, sir." You utter. 

"A squeamish medic, what use is that to me?" He says. 

"Not much," you resign and you stand straight, keeping your chin down. "Sorry, sir." 

"Sorry won't unfuck what just happened," he growls. 

You're quiet as you think. You nod. "Should I pack up?" 

"I didn't say so," he tuts and crosses his arms, leaning back on the metal chair as his chest bulges. 

You’re confused, scared even. The anger roils off of him. 

“What use are you to me dead?” He asks pointedly. 

You shrug. He huffs again. 

“Look at me,” he insists. 

Your eyes flick up and meet his, steely and blue. He slowly unfolds his arms and sits up. You watch him, uncertain, and he reaches to flutter his fingers against yours. 

“You are much to pretty to be bleeding in the muck,” he drawls. “From here are on out, you are suspended from field duties.” 

His long fingers trace yours more firmly and he encases your hand in his. You twitch, paralysed by his unexpected gesture. He raises your hand as he leans forward. He nuzzles between your knuckles as your eyes round. What is he doing? 

“I’ve use of you elsewhere.” He presses his lips against the back of your hand, heat spattering across your flesh. 

“Sir.” 

“Say ‘yes, Captain’ and go warm my cot,” he grits as he lets you go. “I will find you once I’ve finished my cognac.” 

“Yes...Captain,” your voice piques sharply as you drag your soles back stiffly. You blink and turn away from him, staggering in the haze of disbelief. James Conrad is truly a complicated man. Much more than you could ever predict. 

[holdmytesseract]

Hot Temper

James Conrad x fem!Reader

Summary: You are expecting Conrad to come to your tent by nightfall. When he does, things escalate pretty quickly.

Based on this lil' drabble (Part Two)!

Warnings: this is kinda steamy, swear words, smuttish, suggestive smut, dom!James Conrad? It's also a biiit dark.

Word Count: 1,2k

a/n: Well... This one is a small birthday present for my wonderful friend @fictive-sl0th ! ☺️ Happy belated Birthday, boo! ❤ I wish you all the best! Never forget how amazing you are, you awesome person, you! I'm so happy I can call you my friend. Love you! ❤

I really hope you like this! ☺️

Tagging: @lulubelle814 @km-ffluv @eleniblue @muddyorbs @loz-3 @vbecker10 @jennyggggrrr @mochie85 @chantsdemarins @peaches1958 @multifandom-worlds @fictive-sl0th @loki-laufeyson-1054 @lovingchoices14 @simping-for-marvel @stupidthoughtsinwriting @vanilla-daydreaming @lou12346789 @lady-rose-moon @evelyn-kingsley @the-princess-of-loki @acefeather2002

Masterlist

Your nerves were on edge after you collided with Captain Conrad in that heated argument a few hours ago; sizzling with anger and frustration - but also desire and lust. It was an ongoing battle within your system. Which side was going to win, you couldn't tell.

Now you sat on the cot inside your tent, literally staring holes into the flap which marked the entrance. The sinking sun bathed everything in an orange, red light; telling you that it was almost time. You've made good work the rest of the day in avoiding the asshole James Conrad was, but now, after returning to your tent for the night and knowing what was most likely going to happen, you wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on your body. It was strange, wasn't it? You never hated a man - a person, as much as you hated Captain Conrad, and yet he was all you ever desired. Either something was wrong with you, or you just liked hot guys with a shitty personality. You believed it was the second option, but who knew?

Narrowing your eyes, you switched on the lamp, standing on the ground beside your cot and took a look on your wrist watch. Time. It was time. Where is this son of a bitch? You thought. I swear, if he doesn't show up, I'll kick him in the- You weren't able to finish your thoughts, as the flap of the tent flew open, revealing the man you had waited for. The light of his lamp illuminated his stupid, handsome face. Cautiously - like a lion observing his prey, he graciously entered the tent, zipping the flap behind him shut. He hadn't been even a minute inside the tight space which was your tent, when you already felt it... The tension. Intense, angry and undeniably sexual. You were sure that it must be cuttable with a knife.

Not averting his eyes for even a second, James squatted down to place his lamp on the ground. The muscles in his thick thighs strained the fabric of his jeans, as he did so, spreading his legs almost sluttishly. Pathetic, you thought. Putting on a show. For what? To impress me? You had to suppress the scoff, which threatened to leave your lips. Instead, you opted for words. "You came. Why?" You asked nonchalantly, without any emotion. Just stating the facts. A grin spread on James's face, as he shook his head and licked his lips. A grin you wished, once again to sweep off his face. "You told me to, didn't you, Y/L/N? Can't you remember? Already suffering from memory loss?" You narrowed your eyes and leaned forwards in an almost threatening manner. "Careful, Conrad. Thin ice. Very thin ice. I would watch my mouth if I were you-" "Or what?" He interrupted you, spitefully. "Are you going to slap me again?" This time, you couldn't suppress the scoff to leave your mouth. Licking your lips, you chuckled. "You really enjoy this, don't you? Being an arrogant, selfish, annoying asshole? Driving people crazy?" Now it was James's turn to laugh you in the face. "I don't. I am not the one to blame, just because you have a short fuse - and that you find me irresistibly. All you want to do is fuck me, isn't it?"

And at those words, you saw red again; losing it. A low growl left your lips, before you lunged out - ready to slap him again. Your palm was mere inches away from hitting the skin of his cheek, when he caught your hand mid-air. His big hand wrapped tightly around your wrist, keeping you from hitting him. It caught you off guard. You didn't see that coming. "Nuh.Uh. Not this time, Y/L/N." The way he rolled your last name off his tongue - so deep, so dark, so sexy, caused your knees to almost buckle and you felt arousal flooding your veins. James used your moment of shock, of course, reached quickly for your other wrist and before you could even react, had he pinned you down on the cot with his strong, muscular body hovering above yours. Once your brain had caught up with what was going on, you started to squirm, trying to get free. A part of your brain screamed at you why the hell you were fighting back, because James was right. You wanted this. "Not so snappy anymore, are we?" Another growl left your lips, before your angry eyes locked with his goddamn beautiful baby blues. "Fuck you, Conrad!" You spat into his face; voice laced with venom. The man chuckled dangerously; licking his lips. "Don't worry, darling... You get what you want."

Demandingly, Conrad nudged your legs with his knees, commanding you to open them. You wanted to. Oh, of course you wanted to. So, you let your legs fall open for him to kneel in between them - what James immediately did. A breathless laugh escaped his mouth. "I knew it. This was all you wanted from the very beginning, isn't it? Me between your legs?" A strangled moan slipped past your lips at those words; unable to suppress it. "You are so needy for me, aren't you? Desperate for me to fucking ruin you." You couldn't even put in words how much this turned you on. It was pathetic. "Must be really exhausting to hate me, but at the same time wanting to fuck me. How I get you all hot and bothered just with one snap of my finger…" You weren't able to answer something. He had you. You were literal putty in his hands. "Am I right?" He asked, but you didn't answer, just averted your eyes. You hated the effect he had on you. Bu the Captain didn't like it, when somebody wasn't answering, when he had asked a question, so he gripped your chin between his thumb and forefinger and made you look at him. "Am. I. Right?" He asked again, pointing out every word. As if to underline his words even more, he bucked his hips against yours, causing you to gasp. "Answer me." "Yes," you said between gritted teeth. "Good girl." As a reward, he leaned down, letting his lips hover above yours for a second - So close, so close. - before he connected them in a hot, open-mouthed kiss. After that kiss, you were gone. Lost in the man you actually despised so much. Or... Wanted to despise so much?

Teeth clashed together, tongues were intertwined, as you both tore at each other clothes, desperately trying to get them off. It wasn't about love or feelings, no. This sexual encounter was primal, needy and rough. Your hands raked all over James's bare, strong back; fingernails leaving red marks and scratches on their way, when he finally gifted you the pleasure you desired so much. The sound of skin colliding with skin was the only sound which filled the deadly silence of the night, accompanied with yours and James's whiny breathes and moans. You had awoken the animal within Captain Conrad - and you didn't regret it for even a second, when he ruined you for every man to follow.

[felicitysmoaksx]

Reach for My Hand ('Cause It's Held Out for You)

The residency at Baylor never opened up. Sarah was stuck at Med following the Robert Haywood incident and she was right. After everything, people- all staff alike whispered. About her. Her father and what happened the night he collapsed. She did her best to ignore them though.

Her days were now spent avoiding Dr. Charles unless she had to talk to him. While she also avoided Noah Sexton following her rejection of him. She should have taken April's offer to talk to her brother to get him to ease up. But after the mess with her father, she was reluctant to accept help from anyone.

Her only reprieve was her friends in the ED. They kept her busy most of the time with consults so she didn't have to talk to Dr. Charles often. Months passed and she wasn't happy by any means, but she got used to it. Because it could always be worse.

Instead, her other safety net came in the form of her brother-in-law. Or was it former brother-in-law? Sarah wasn't sure what the terminology was with Nic now gone.

"Well, well, if it isn't little Sarah Reese: big shot resident," Sarah turned at the sound of the familiar voice and Conrad Hawkins' stared back at her with an easy grin.

"What are you doing here? You didn't tell me you were coming when I was facetiming with Gigi last month!" She exclaimed as she turned and wandered closer. Allowing her half-sister's husband to wrap her in a tight hug. Chastain had sent Conrad along to scout out the Hybrid OR.

"Okay," Conrad said, a week after he got there. She had been in line to get a cup of coffee when he appeared behind her. "There are dozens of rumors flying around about you. But I don't care about them because you're going to tell me what's actually going on."

When Sarah glanced back she saw a look that she had only heard about from her big sister. There was a narrowed focus light in his eyes with his mouth turned downward. He wasn't going to let this go.

"Let me get my coffee first." She relented with a heavy sigh. Then with a coffee to warm her hands, she pulled him into a corner. Then she started with her father and his bad heart. From there she moved to his personality disorder and Dr. Charles treating him for it. Everything else that came with Dr. Robert Haywood and the fallout after just came out from there. When she was done explaining everything, Sarah lifted her gaze to look at her half-sister's husband.

"I know Nic's gone, but when everything was happening, I picked up the phone so many times to call her because she would know what to say and what to do." She told him, with a watery catch in her voice.

"Why didn't you call me?" Conrad asked quietly, "Why didn't you let me help you?"

"What could you have done, Conrad? You have Gigi and you just started back at Chastain. You have a lot on your plate. You didn't need me to add to it with my family drama."

"Sarah, you're Nic's little sister. You're Gigi's aunt. You're my family. As for what I would've done, I would've suggested you come home." Conrad pressed, tapping on the table for emphasis.

"To New York? With my mother?" Sarah pulled a face, before she shook her head, "No, thank you."

"Not New York. Georgia."

"Georgia? Why would I go there?"

"Because you'd have family-me and Gigi and a job there."

"A job?"

"At Chastain. One phone call from me and you'd have an interview in no time; you know how much Nic always hated that you moved to Chicago to finish med school."

[alyana-luvs-u]

traitor

steven conklin x reader

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

summary: you've been in love with him since childhood, until you find him and taylor kissing at a party

word count : 1.9k

song: i love you i'm sorry ~ gracie abrams

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

As the sun began to set and the sky took on a deep orange hue, the party at Nicole's house was in full swing. The air was alive with the sound of laughter, music and the occasional pop of a champagne cork. Y/N takes small measured sips of her drink, stumbling as she hits somebody. 

“ow! shit, sorry,” she grimaces, turning, before jumping as she is met with startling brown eyes, gazing at her softly. Steven grins at her easily, balancing her as she sways slightly on her feet.

“easy there tiger,” The nickname rolls off his tongue effortlessly, making shivers dance down Y/N’s  spine as he smirks down at her. She couldn’t deny the inevitable butterflies that arose in her stomach as he touches her cheek.

“You and that supid nickname,” She groans, flicking his forehead affectionately. Steven rubs his forehead, rolling his eyes at the younger Fisher. 

“Oh shush, you love it.” She does. More then he would ever know. His attention strays from her as he turns to look at a group of boys calling his name.

“go find belly,” he pushes her forward slightly, watching amusedly as she stumbles.

“I’ll find you later.” Nodding, Steven bids her a goodbye, before dissapearing into the mass of sweaty and grinding bodies. Y/N sighs, attempting to calm her racing heart. It seems to sing in her chest, fluttering and beating with excitement. As she walks onto the dance floor, hands capture her hips, swaying her to the side as hot breath touches her ear. 

“What is a pretty girl like you doing alone?” Y/N shifts uncomfortably, turning to meet a very drunk, attractive brunette who hands her a lazy smirk.

“Name’s Ray darling.” He tilts her chin up, inspecting her with a scrutinising eye. 

“And you, are stunning.” 

“Y/N Fisher,” She mumbles, before attempting to push him away.

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” She wriggles as his grip tightens on her wrist, dark and menacing. 

“Darling,” He clicks his tongue conscendingly.

“why in such a rush? You don’t have a boyfriend do you?” He leans in, tracing patterns on Y/N’s bare back as he pulls her flush against him. 

“No, listen, I really do got to go,” She says, pushing him back. Ray groans, running a veiny hand throughout his thick, brown curls.

“at least put your number in.” He hands her his phone, tapping his foot as people bump into them, Y/N groaning in disgust as she sees Nicole and Conrad’s tongues intwined. She felt slightly bad for Belly, but she was a bit of a entitled brat sometimes. 

“fine.” She replied shortly, tapping in the digits, before walking away. As she ascended the stairs in search for her asian best friend, tapping on the doors as she went. She cringed as moans and unholy sounds filled her ears as she accidently creaked open a door, squeaking as she was met by a brunette’s arching, bare back. Cleansing her mind and eyes, she continued on, knocking and slightly opening doors. 

“Belly? Belly!” She called, before stumbling through an open one, smiling as she was met with her blonde best friend making out with a shadowed figure. The two jumped apart almost immediately, Taylor squinting as Y/N shook tipsily. 

“Y/N!” She cried, her face creasing guiltily. 

“tay tay!” Y/N smiled, shifting her gaze and feeling the happiness seem to melt off her body. The silhouette looked up, the light falling onto his face.

“S-Steven?” Her voice felt small as Steven’s jaw fell open, as he scrambled to the door. 

“Y/N!” She swallowed as a sob rose in her throat, sobering instantly.

“I gotta go,” She choked, tears falling down her face as she ducked behind a curtain of hair, exiting the room hurriedly. 

“Y/N!” Steven yelled, chasing the running girl as she rushed down the stairs. Pushing through the dancing crowd, she breathed a relieved sigh as she was met with Ray’s drunken gaze. Without any other words, she pulled his head down in a frenzy, meeting his lips forcefully. His lips molded with hers, tasting alcohol as his tongue swirled around hers. Jeremiah’s rendition of summer nights filled the air as she made out with him shamelessly on the dance floor, right in the gaze of the asian. And for the first time, Steven Conklin experienced heartbreak.

It was a tension-filled car ride back, the only sound was the gentle humming of the radio as Steven grunted. Taylor shuffled in the back, fast asleep, makeup smeared across her face. Y/N stared determinedly out the window.

“I’m sorry.” Steven muttered.

“For what? Kissing Taylor or me finding out?” Y/N huffed, her gaze fixated on the passing landscape. 

“Don’t be like that,” Steven scoffed, his knuckles turning white as his grip tightened on the wheel, swerving slightly.

“Like what?” She mocked, rolling her eyes. The older conklin, pursed his lips.

“Acting like a brat.” He hissed, ignoring the sharp stabbing in his chest with every word he uttered.

“Well you’re acting like a child!” She yelled suddenly, her glare stormy as she turned towards him. They fell silent for a moment, Taylor barely stirring in the backseat. 

“I thought she was you.” He whispered, his lips barely moving.

“What?” 

“When I kissed Taylor I thought she was you.”  Y/N heart leapt in her chest, as she reached a hand out. 

“steven-” He barely spared her a glance as he exited the car, slamming the car door. Y/N’s lip trembled as she called out weakly with tear-filled eyes. Her chest felt heavy and hot as the summer wind sung against her face.

“Steven!” She stumbled into the house, weeping silently and pathetically, tripping up the stairs.

“Steven wait!” As his bedroom door slammed, shaking the floorboards, Y/N sunk to her knees, sniffing and wiping her nose. 

“i-i love you,” But nobody heard, a silent prayer in the wind only the gods would hear. 

As Y/N awoke from a restless sleep, she rocked on her feet as she grunted, slipping slightly as she was overcome with nausea. Bile poured from her mouth into the toilet bowl, as she began to cry again softly, wiping her swollen, red eyes. She felt pitiful as she sat on the cold white tiles, her tears spilling onto her shirt and onto the floor. She didn’t move an inch as a knock sounded on the door.

“Hello?” Conrad’s voice echoed through the door, concern tinging his soft tone. The door creaked open woefully as her older brother inspected her curled up, shaking figure.

“Oh Y/N/N,” He murmurs, picking up her limp figure as she stares at him numbly. It feels like old times, her sleepy figure in his arms as she giggles after a movie marathon late into the night. Y/N curls up absent-mindedly, sobs wracking her body.

“I love him, I love him, I love him,” She whispers, as Conrad rubs her back consoldingly.

“I know Y/N/N, I know,” He lays her down on her bed, watching as she simply looked at the plaster above her, mumbling inconherently.

“Sleep well mkay?” He pecks her forehead, before exiting and shutting her bedroom door softly. Y/N’s thoughts are filled of Steven. The way he says her name. The way he would ruffle her hair. The simple ways he would bring her painkiller tablets on her period, or how he would remember just how she likes her coffees. The way he would bring her muffins on early Monday mornings.  The simple ways they would walk on the beach together hand in hand, their matching shell anklets, the sunset on their faces. Steven, Steven, Steven. She shut her eyes. The way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. When he’s nervous he runs a hands though his hair. His favourtie faded spiderman t-shirt that Laurel has told him so many times to throw out. His dream to go to Princeton. Their matching chain bracelets with small heart charms. Steven, Steven, Stev-

She yawned as she slowly began to sit up, rubbing her sore eyes. Y/N took a sip of her water, washing out the sour taste in her mouth. As she began to descend the stairs, memories began to rain down on her. As she touched foot on the bottom floor, and the clatter of cutlery hit her ears, Y/N stalked towards the dining room. 

“Y/N dear! Are you okay? Conrad-”

“Mom.” Jeremiah cut her off, smiling softly at Y/N’s messy state.

“Well look who decided to show up.” He reached over to ruffle her hair, before she flinched back. He masked his hurt look with a pleasant smile. 

“come, eat.” He pointed to the potato salad and pasta with his fork, patting the seat between him and Belly. Y/N sat uneasily, picking at the pieces of creamy, boiled potato that Conrad plopped on her plate.

“excuse me,”  She didn’t look up as a chair screeched upon the floorboards, and familiar, worn converse stomped past her. 

“Steven! Young man, you sit-” The words died on Laurel’s lips as Steven’s footsteps echoed up the stairs. The two mothers seemed to share a look, as if saying ‘teenagers.’

“oh, young love. don’t you remember Laurel?” Susannah sighed dreamily, placing an arm on her best friend’s shoulder. The other woman smiled in response, obviously reminiscing on old memories. 

“the good old days,” Y/N poked at her pasta, prodding it with the metal prongs, before clearing her throat and pushing her plate away.

“Uh, I’m not very hungry. I’m going to go too.” She quickly walked upstairs, not glancing back as she heard her mother’s tired sigh. Softly, she padded to the bedroom door to the left of hers. ‘Steven’ was scribbled in red crayon, and taped on the door. She didn’t bother knocking, barging in, watching as he quickly turned away, shielding his red, blotchy face. 

“what do you want.” 

“we need to talk.” She spoke shortly, not waiting for a response as she plopped down on his bed. 

“you’ve said all you need to.” She began to tear up.

“I was drunk Steven. I’m sorry-”

“sorry?!” he turned to face her, his jaw clenched.

“do you know how in love I am with you Y/N? Do you know how much it physically hurt,” He let out a watery laugh, swivelling in his desk chair.

“For you to just spit those words out at me like you-” He pulled on his hair angrily, letting the strands loosely fall onto his cheek. 

“like you…hate me,” His voice turned to more vulnerable as he seemed to fold into himself. 

“I don’t hate you,” She whispers, inching towards him slightly.

“I’m so in love with you Y/N that I do the dumbest shit when you’re around, and you make my heart go all weird and warm in my chest.” He takes a breath as you wrap your arms around his quivering figure gingerly.

“I love you too…” He sniffles rubbing his nose.

“you’re just saying that.” 

“no, I swear, I love you too.” Her eyes begin to feel hot, and they water as she pulls him closer.

“I’ve loved you since we were children Stevie…” Steven cries into her hair, before pulling her back up, pressing his lips against hers. It was slow and magnetic, built up through years of unsaid words and nervous feelings. It was just how she had imagined it. The older boy pulled back, pressing his forehead against hers.

“never leave. swear on it.”

“i promise.”

[probably-writing-x]

Fault (Chapter Two)

“I don’t want to go back,” You whisper, your hand swirling patterns across Conrad’s chest.

He hums, his fingers trailing gently up and down your arm, “Maybe we just never go back again.”

You giggle, “Yeah we could live out of your truck, go town to town.”

“Travel the coast, then do all the states, settle down on a ranch somewhere,” Conrad continues, “They’d never find us.”

“I think that’s the only way we’re getting out of this,” You take a deep breath, “They hate us.”

“They don’t hate us,” Conrad returns, “They’re just angry.”

You lean up onto your elbows and turn your gaze to him, “Did you hear them Con? Because it sounded pretty close to hate.”

He chuckles, “How could anyone hate you?”

You narrow your eyes, “Don’t try to be cute, this is a problem Conrad.”

He wraps his arms around your waist, “We’ll deal with it, okay? We’ll figure it out.”

The two of you had left the house not long after you’d argued with Belly. He’d told you that it wasn’t good for you to stay there when you were upset and you’d agreed. The pair of you had left and got into his car, drove your way around Cousins until you returned back to the beach, wrapped in each others arms on the sand.

“I never wanted it to happen like this,” You say to Conrad, eyes flicking between each of his.

He shakes his head, fingers moving up to brush your hair away from your face, “I don’t think they’d have been happy however it happened.”

You let out a deep breath and nod, “Okay, there’s only so long we can stay on the beach.”

Conrad hums, tightening his grip around you so that you fall onto his chest, “Five more minutes.”

———

The drive back is silent, both of you anticipating the worst. You both walk into the house quietly and, by now, it’s dark like everyone is asleep. You swallow the lump in your throat.

Conrad walks a step beside you, his hand on the small of your back as if it was the slightest comfort that he could offer. You both trail upstairs and you pause as soon as you’re there.

“I can’t-“ You stop yourself, “Belly won’t want me in her room.”

Conrad nods, “I know, come on.”

The two of you walk down towards his room instead, and he closes the door behind you. His room always seems colder than the rest of the house - he hated when it got too hot. His bed is made, but there’s always creases in the comforter where he doesn’t pull it tight to the corners. There’s a photoframe on his bedside table with a picture of all of you from last summer - you’d never noticed it before but he’d never been looking at the camera, his eyes had been on you.

“Here, you can take a top,” Conrad offers, “And I can turn the heat on if you think it’s too cold, and there’s probably a-“

“Con,” You say softly, “It’s fine.”

He turns to you and scratches a hand at the back of his neck, “I’ve… I’ve just never done this before.”

You narrow your eyes, “Never done what?”

“Well, like,” He gestures at you, “Had a girl stay over.”

You let out a laugh, “Conrad Beck Fisher you can’t be serious.”

He rolls his eyes at you, “Why wouldn’t I be serious?”

“I don’t know, I just thought you would’ve had an ex girlfriend or something stay here, or like Nicole when you guys had that thing going on?”

He shakes his head, “Nope, you’re the first.”

“Well, I’m honoured,” You smile, taking the t-shirt from his hands.

You turn around and face the other side of his room as you get changed, a misplaced gesture all things considered between you and Conrad. But, you only realise once you turn back around, that he’d turned away too - that shy side still inside of him even with you. You both climb into the bed and he instantly stretches out an arm to let you rest on his chest, his fingers trailing up and down your arm.

“I-“ You croak into a whisper, “I’m scared we’re going to lose them Con.”

He holds you a little tighter, “I’m not going to let that happen.”

And, in that moment, you believe him.

———

It’s barely even morning when you wake up, darkness only just dissipating outside, still no signs of sun. Conrad is fast asleep beside you, his arms around your waist, his chest pressed against your back. You shift from under his arm and sit on the edge of the bed, running a hand through your hair. Your chest felt tight and it had felt ever since yesterday like you were constantly on the verge of tears. You didn’t know where to even begin. In one day it felt like everything had been flipped on it’s head- over carelessness? blind emotion? or simply just love?

You step out of Conrad’s room and turn down the corridor towards the bathroom, stopping in your tracks almost instantly as you close the bedroom door behind you.

Belly’s door opens at the exact same time, her frozen in the doorway just as you were.

“Hey,” You break the silence softly, quietly.

She swallows the lump in her throat and runs a hand through her hair, “I’ll use the bathroom downstairs.”

“Wait Belly please,” You step forward towards her before she gets to the stairs, “Please stop.”

She glances back at you at the top of the stairs but ignores whatever thought had crossed her mind, hurrying down before you have another chance to stop her.

You feel your bottom lip tremble and your chest tighten even more, desperate to reach out for a friendship you weren’t ready to lose.

You go into the bathroom and wipe your eyes, letting out a shaky breath against the mirror. How had all of this all happened? How had the last few days flipped things around this much? Were you selfish for admitting how you felt about Conrad? Even more selfish for acting on it? Or was this the first time in a long time you’d felt like you could be happy?

Your breath settles and the tears have stopped and you make your way back over to Conrad’s room, opening the door cautiously so as to not wake him.

When you step back over to the bed, the mattress dips and Conrad groans a little as he wakes up. You settle in beside him and he pulls you right up against his chest, his chin resting against your shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

You settle your hands over his arms on you, as if wanting to hold onto the moment, “I’m okay.”

“What’s the time?” He mumbles, pressing a lazy kiss to your shoulder.

“Um,” You let out, still a shake in your voice, “I don’t know.”

“Too early,” Conrad grumbles, pushing himself closer against you as if there was any space to remove.

You breath in deeply as he falls asleep against you, clingy and comfortable and soft. And you’re happy. You know you are. Beyond anything else, he made you happy.

———

You don’t get much sleep after that, waking up every twenty minutes and eventually settling on remaining awake. Conrad stays asleep until gone 10, groaning and tightening his hold around you as if making sure you were still there.

“Morning,” He mumbles, inhaling deeply.

“Morning,” You respond, holding him a little tighter, “Did you sleep okay?”

Conrad wiggles his arms around you until you turn in his hold, facing him. He blinks until it’s as if he’s woken up for the second time, pulling away from you enough so that he can see your face, he frowns;

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“No- nothing, I’m just tired.”

Conrad pauses for a second before seemingly opting to believe you, “You can stay in bed longer if you want, I can get us breakfast.”

“No, that’s okay, we should probably face the music soon anyway,” You take a deep breath, “I think… I was thinking, it might be better if we just keep our distance from each other a little. At least until everything calms down.”

Conrad raises his brows, “Keep our distance?”

“Well, nothing big, just maybe try to avoid being too couple-y in front of them, just while we’re figuring things out,” You continue, “It’ll just make things worse if they see us acting like-“

“Yeah, you’re right,” Conrad assures you, “We’ll keep it on the down low.”

“Okay.”

Both of you are silent, as if revelling in each others company for just a moment longer before you both decide to get up. He slips a hoodie on over his bare torso and you switch his top out for one of your own - better than them seeing you in his clothes. Conrad follows behind you as the two of you walk out of his room, trailing down the stairs to your waiting dread.

You stop on the bottom step when you hear it.

“I don’t get it man, I thought they were meant to be best friends,” Steven’s voice says, “How can you do that to someone?”

“Yeah well I don’t think she cared about how Belly would react,” Jeremiah this time.

“Clearly not, she knew how Belly felt. We all knew Belly was waiting for Conrad,” Steven continues.

Conrad places his hand on your back, stepping past you to walk ahead.

“Morning boys,” Conrad starts as he walks into the kitchen, you still on the stairs watching his figure retreat.

“Morning,” Steven clears his throat.

You can feel your hands shaking, your heart seemingly clenching under the pain. Your breath is shaky too, as you step forward and eventually follow into the lounge.

“Hey,” You say softly, wrapping your arms around yourself.

“I-“ Steven looks at you awkwardly, “I didn’t know you were awake.”

“Um,” You drag a hand through your hair, “Yeah, I can go if you want me to-“

“No, no,” Steven shakes his head, “It’s fine.”

Jeremiah looks between you and Conrad and rolls his eyes, walking out towards the door. You bite your lip to stop it from trembling, trying to shake even the slightest of worries from your head.

“He’s just-“ Steven stops himself, “I think we’re all just figuring it out, them two more than me.”

“You know (Y/n)‘s not to blame for this Steven,” Conrad comments, turning around from where he’d been filling the kettle at the sink, “So you can cut the whole ‘what was she thinking’ act.”

“I didn’t-“ Steven stops himself, glancing at you, “I was just surprised, okay? It seemed a little out of the blue.”

Conrad goes to cut in to defend you but you speak before he gets the chance;

“I never meant to hurt Belly,” You say, shaking your head quickly, “I love her. But ever since we were little we’ve come to Cousins and it’s been about her and Conrad - we go back home and she talks about him, and we’re here and she talks about him, and everything went back to him. And I love her, I do. But I’m allowed to be happy. And I can’t control how I feel and I can’t control how Conrad feels and you can hate me if you want but I-“

Steven stands up instantly when he sees the tears spilling over your eyes, the way your whole body seems to tremble, “Hey, hey, hey, please don’t cry, I don’t know what to do when girl’s cry.”

“I know I’m the worst and I’m so sorry Steven, I never wanted this to happen,” You let out a sob and Conrad steps over almost within the second.

He stops, however, as Steven wraps his arms around you, pulling you into him as your hands fly to your face to catch the tears spilling from you. Steven holds you tightly and glances over at you to Conrad, noticing the way his whole body seems tense at the sight of you upset. He sees it then.

“I’m sorry for what I said,” Steven says softly, pulling away from you, “I just- I didn’t know. And I know what Belly’s like and she’s my sister and I don’t like seeing her upset.”

You nod, looking down at your feet. Conrad hands over a tissue to you and you smile with as much as you can muster.

“If you like him, if he likes you, then there’s no reason why the two of you shouldn’t be able to act on that,” Steven continues, “I might see that now but it’ll take a while before my sister does. And Jere.”

Conrad clenches his jaw, “I’m sick of feeling like this is our fault. What are we supposed to do? Hold off just to keep them happy?”

You sniff, “Con…”

“(Y/n) come on!” He half-laughs, “We’re adults. We’re allowed to do this.”

“Tell that to my sister,” Steven scoffs, patting Conrad on the chest, “I think she’ll disagree.”

He walks out of the room, leaving you and Conrad in each other’s company once again. His eyes fall to you, softening almost instantly.

“We’re not doing anything wrong, darling,” He speaks so gently you almost melt into the words, your whole being seeming to relax just enough that you could believe him.

“It doesn’t feel like that,” You let out a small laugh, dragging the tissue under your eyes to clear away the remaining tears, “God, I hate this.”

Conrad nods, “But you know what you don’t hate?” He walks around to the other side of the kitchen island, tapping his hands on the countertop, “Pancakes!”

———

You still hadn’t seen Belly all morning. But the most you could convince yourself of now was that at least Steven didn’t hate you. Things could be worse. That was one of three, right?

You’d showered, got changed, and convinced yourself a thousand times that nothing could be worse than it already had been. Though, when you came downstairs again, that same sinking feeling of dread hit you.

“(Y/n)?” It’s Laurel’s voice and you instantly wince.

You step past the door to the lounge and look inside, seeing her sat there, “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Do you have a minute?” Laurel offers, shifting on the couch enough as if gesturing for you to sit beside her.

You nod silently and sit down beside her, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“So I’m guessing you know that Belly told me what’s happened,” Laurel begins, “Or, at least, what is happening.”

You let out a sigh, “I’m so sorry Laurel I never meant to-“

She lifts a finger as if to stop you, “I wasn’t expecting you to apologise.”

“Wh-“

Laurel smiles softly, reaching out and taking your hand, “A few summers ago, probably more than a few now, Conrad came inside when all of you were playing in the garden. He came in and I could just see this look on his face, he was just watching all of you. He turned around to me, so innocently, and asked how I’d known that I loved Belly and Steven’s father. I remember thinking, God this kid is too young to be talking about love. But he looked out of that window and it felt like I could really see it. For years I thought he was looking at Belly, like she was the one he would love eventually, but last summer I realised it wasn’t her; he was looking at you.”

You feel the lump form in your throat, less one of nerves and more one of overwhelming emotion.

“Belly’s your best friend and you can’t lose her. But if you look at Conrad the same way he looked at you all those years ago, you can’t lose him either,” Laurel continues, squeezing your hand gently.

You glance out of the window where Conrad is walking across the grass, running a hand through his hair. Laurel looks at you and smiles without your eyes returning to hers, too captured by the boy walking towards the house.

“Belly will understand eventually,” Laurel assured you, standing up from the couch and heading back out.

She stops at the door as Conrad is just about to open it, his hand reaching for the handle as she opens it in front of him. He looks at her almost nervously, concerned for her reaction. But she simply smiles and reaches for his hand, squeezing it in the same way she had done for yours. He steps inside, his eyes searching for you instantly.

“What was that about?” He frowns, glancing back at where Laurel had just left.

You stand up from the couch and smile, “Just talking.”

He narrows his eyes at you as if suspicious, “If you say so.”

Conrad steps the short distance over to you until his feet almost bump with yours. He smiles when you look up at him.

“I got you something at the store,” Conrad begins, his hands held behind his back.

“What did you get me?” You grin, feeling the way your cheeks seem to heat under his gaze.

“Fresh doughnuts,” He pulls a bag out from behind his back and smiles, “The ones you always say are your favourites.”

“Ugh you’re the best!” You beam, taking the bag from him, “They never normally have them anymore an-“

You’re both interrupted as Susannah comes to the door, stopping, “Oh sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt, I’ll leave you to-“

“You’re not interrupting Mom,” Conrad says softly, turning to face her as his shoulder bumps yours.

“Well, I just thought I’d tell you that we’re having a party tonight, a last minute thing really,” She explains quickly, “I want you all to dress up like the 80s.”

“Dress up?” Conrad scoffs, “Mom Im not going to-“

You hit his arm quickly.

“I’ll dress up.”

You grin at his instant change of heart and Susannah mouths a silent ‘thank you’ to you, disappearing in a hurry to go off to tell the others.

“What do you even wear for an 80s theme?” Conrad groans.

You pat him on the chest, “We’ll find you something.”

———

The whole day had gone by and you still hadn’t seen Belly. You’d been out by the pool and Conrad had gone surfing, you’d made your lunch in the kitchen and he’d been up in his room, you’d made every effort to be separate from him for the chance encounter you might have with Belly.

But nothing.

Nothing from her, nothing from Jeremiah.

You go into the room you shared with her, assuming she’d still be absent, and start to rummage through your suitcase for anything that could mildly resemble an 80s theme.

When the door creaks open, you feel your stomach drop.

Belly.

“I-“ You start as you make eye contact with her, “Sorry, I just needed to find something to wear.”

Belly shrugs, wrapping her arms over her chest, “It’s your room as much as it is mine.”

You stand up from your suitcase and clear your throat, “I don’t know why I thought I’d find something, I don’t own anything remotely 80s.”

She doesn’t respond.

“Do you-“ You pause, “Do you know what you’re going to wear?”

“Susannah let me borrow some bits,” She looks down at the clothes her arms are wrapped around.

“Oh, right yeah, that’s good,” You nod, looking around the room as if seeking anything that you could talk about next, “I’ll get out of your way if you-“

“You can wear something here if you want,” Belly interrupts, “If you’ve not got anything.”

“Um, yeah, that would be great, thanks Bells,” You smile, “I’ll just… I’ll have whatever you don’t want.”

The two of you stand in silence again as if every word has disappeared.

“God, Belly, this is so weird,” You exhale, “I hate not talking to you.”

“Yeah,” She runs a hand through her hair, looking down at her feet, “It’s weird.”

“Right?” You exclaim, “I mean, this is the longest I’ve ever gone without speaking to you. I feel like it’s been forever.”

“It feels like it,” She chews on her bottom lip.

“I’m so sorry Belly,” You sigh, “I- I never meant to hurt you, I never wanted that to happen.”

She doesn’t speak.

“I just- I got so caught up in all of it and I was just so terrified of telling you that I thought maybe I could wait it out. But I was so terrified of losing you that it just felt better to not tell you,” You shake your head, “I’m just… I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you but I just-“

“Why did you do it (Y/n)? I mean, why didn’t you tell me how you felt about him?” Belly shrugs, “Why didn’t you talk to me about it?”

“Belly…” You pause, taking a deep breath, “Ever since we first started coming to Cousins, I was always ‘Belly’s best friend’. We’d go and see people and I wasn’t (Y/n), I was just Belly’s friend. And I was always fine with it because that’s what I was, you know? That’s who I am, I know I’m not one of this family you’ve got here, I get that. And so that whole time I was just there to see you, to spend summer with my best friend. And when you first told me that you liked Conrad, that just felt like another part of spending summer with you. It didn’t matter what I thought or how I felt, because I was there for you. I guess… that just felt like it changed a couple of summers ago. It was little things, really. And then I got home after that summer and realised that I had to think of myself too - and it was Conrad that I liked. And it wasn’t because you liked him too or because you wanted him, it was just me. When Conrad kissed me this summer it felt exactly like that. It was me and it was him and for the first time I felt like I was here because I belonged here. You’ve been the best friend to me Belly, but in that moment I just had to think about myself, what I wanted. And when he kissed me I knew that’s what it was, it was him.”

She looks at you and her features seem to soften, the tension in her shoulders seems to relax - just a little.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you Belly, but I can’t be sorry that I fell for Conrad,” You shake your head, “I can’t be sorry for choosing myself.”

“Okay,” Belly croaks out, her voice hoarse and weak, “I understand.”

You’re the one lost for words this time, unsure of yourself.

“Thank you,” Belly says calmly, “Um, I should probably start to get ready. I’ll see you in a bit.”

She walks over to the vanity and you have no choice but to leave the room, scooping together your clothes and makeup bag and walking out. Your chest felt tight but in a more manageable sort of way, like you could live with it - slightly at ease.

When you step into the room, Conrad stands upright from the bed, a furrow of worry between his brows.

“So?” He looks at you, testing the waters for if you’d crumble in front of him.

You simply shrug your shoulders, “I don’t know, Con.”

His features soften and he reaches out for your hand, squeezing it tightly, “It’ll be okay.”

You nod just a little, “I hope so.”

“Um,” He glances around the room, “Okay, you need to help me choose what to wear.”

You sit down at his desk and bring your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs, chin resting on your kneecaps. Conrad lifts up a few tops on clothes hangers and holds them up but he pauses as soon as he sees you. You look so innocent just like that and he wonders how anyone has it in them to be mad at you. He knew your heart, pure, and he knew your mind, honest. And he’s suddenly terrified of the thought of ever seeing you hurt like this.

“Hey,” He walks over and crouches down in front of you until his head is level with yours, “I want you to believe me, okay? We’re going to figure this out. However long it takes, however hurt they are, there’s an end to it.”

You smile just a little but your eyes close as if you’re fighting every morsel of your being to not cry there and then.

Conrad thinks of a million things he could say, the thought of eight letters, three words, comes to mind but he pushes it back for now. He could tell you it would be okay, that he could handle it, that he wasn’t leaving you, that this would all be worth it. But he suppresses every word that comes to mind, leans forward instead to press a kiss to your forehead, letting his lips linger there for a moment longer. He feels you lean into him, feels the worry just slip away from you momentarily as if he can share in it for just a second.

You had him. And he’d do everything he could to remind you of that.

———

By the time the evening rolls around, you and Conrad are somewhat ready for the party. He’s changed into the only top he owns that looks remotely on theme and you’re wearing a hot pink bodysuit and black shorts - both of you half on theme at least. You fix your curled hair in the mirror once more, double checking your appearance as Conrad comes up behind you, placing his hands on your waist.

“Come on,” He leans into you, “We can do this.”

You turn in his arms until you’re facing him, looping your hands behind his neck, “Or we run away.”

He sways with you just a little back and forth as if pondering the option, “Maybe tomorrow.”

You lean in and press a quick kiss to his lips and he moves his hand down to lace with yours, guiding both of you out of the room when it felt near impossible to move your feet. He holds your hand all the way downstairs until you reach where the party is in full swing, his grip releasing on you to instead press to the small of your back.

“Do you want a drink, darling?” He says into your ear and you nod, looking at him as he pushes through the crowd of people to get to the kitchen.

You turn towards the garden and see Steven, Belly and Jeremiah all stood outside, Steven evidently trying to make them both laugh. For a moment you’re sure that things will be fine, and you push open the door without a second thought. But you stop. There’s a sadness on Belly’s face that no smile could hide, and an anger in the clench of Jeremiah’s jaw that it was impossible to ignore.

“Hey, (Y/n)!” Steven waves to you, “Get over here, I need you to back me up on this.”

You swallow the lump in your throat and walk over, instantly relaxing a little as Steven throws an arm over your shoulder. You glance at Belly and Jeremiah and they both offer you small smiles. Your chest feels less tense.

“Alright one million dollars to go in the ring with Mike Tyson, no head guards, like 10 ounce gloves,” Steven explains, “Are you doing it?”

“Um,” You clear your throat, “No, I would absolutely die.”

“Oh come on!” Steven exclaims.

“Told you she’d agree with us,” Belly shrugs, glancing at you momentarily.

The four of you fall silent again.

“Alright guys please talk it out or something, this is fucking awkward,” Steven rolls his eyes.

“Im not mad at you, (Y/n),” Jeremiah assures you, “I just- needed to clear my head today.”

“Yeah, and I’m glad we spoke about things earlier,” Belly adds, “But-“

They glance at each other and then back at you.

“Guys…” Steven begins as if warning them about whatever would happen next.

“He’s going to break your heart, (Y/n).”

You feel your heart sink, the weight seemingly hitting your shoulders. As much as they weren’t mad at you, they couldn’t be happy for you. And something about that felt worse. Every day, every week, every summer, they’d be waiting for the moment when Conrad proved them right. When you’d come running to them and say ‘I wish I’d listened’. And you couldn’t live like that. They were waiting for some fucked up version of inevitable and you couldn’t stand under their gaze waiting for it to happen.

“He’s playing games,” Jeremiah persists, “He’s spent years knowing how Bells felt about him, like literally forever. And he knew how I felt about you. Conrad���s like this, he likes to be in control. And being with you gives him that control.”

You feel your mouth run dry, a ringing in your ears like your mind was begging you not to listen to them.

“He’s not one for relationships,” Belly chimes in and your blurry eyes turn to her, “He’s going to drop you and we just… we don’t want to see you get your heart broken.”

They’d never be happy for you.

“I-“ You croak out, eyes flooded with tears yet to fall.

“Guys seriously, cut it out,” Steven persists, “You’re upsetting her.”

“I ju-“ Your voice cracks and you shake your head, a million thoughts running through your mind.

Not a single one of those thoughts believed what they were saying. But all you could think about was going the rest of your summers with people that were waiting for you to crumble, and you couldn’t do it. Every move Conrad made, they’d be waiting. Every day you seemed slightly less than yourself, they’d be expecting it. They were so far from being happy for you, that they were waiting for you to fail.

Almost too perfectly timed, the door opens once more and it’s Conrad who steps out. You’re sure his heart must swell at the sight of the four of you from afar, as if something about the past few days had just healed. But the closer he steps, the same unbreaking tension hits him too.

“Wh- what’s going on?” He frowns, looking between all of them before his eyes settle on you, “(Y/n)?”

You glance up at him and you know for certain in that moment that he won’t break your heart. That, in fact, he’d do every single thing in his power to do the exact opposite of that. Whatever happened, whatever would change, breaking your heart was never going to be part of his plans. But this couldn’t go on. You’d lose everybody. And so would Conrad. And you couldn’t be the person waiting around watching him slip away from the people he called family.

“I can’t-“ You look into his eyes and yours seem to soften, reflecting the worry of his own, “I can’t do this.”

Before anyone has the chance to stop you, you turn around on your heel and hurry across the garden and back into the house.

“(Y/n)!” You hear Conrad call after you but it falls onto deaf ears.

He turns back to the others and frowns, glancing between them all as if waiting for an explanation.

“Wh- what did you do?” He croaks out, his entire body flooding somewhere between worry and anger.

“You’re going to hurt her, Conrad,” Jeremiah shrugs, “We can’t let you do that to her.”

“Hurt her?” Conrad scoffs, “You think I’m going to hurt her?”

“Why did you kiss her when you knew how I felt about her? When you knew how Belly felt about you?” Jeremiah persists, standing square in front of his brother.

“Because I-“ Conrad looks between him and Belly, “Because I wasn’t thinking about you. I was thinking about (Y/n).”

“Because you’re fucking selfish and you always have been!”

“Selfish?” Conrad lets out an exasperated laugh, “Selfish for choosing myself one fucking time, for not running around worrying about you? For letting myself be fucking happy? That’s such a crime? You need to look at yourself, Jere. Grow up.”

“You’re telling me to grow up? Yo-“

“Yes I’m telling you to grow up!” Conrad raises his voice, “Stop acting like everyone needs to worry about you, or Belly, or whatever the hell else. I love (Y/n). And the crazy fucking thing is I haven’t even told her that yet. And you guys can hate us and hate me and hate everything about this but it’s not going to change anything. Okay? It’s not.”

Jeremiah doesn’t speak, his jaw tensed, Belly stood behind him like she’s blocking herself from Conrad’s words, convincing herself it isn’t true.

“So you decide - you go on convincing yourself this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, or you grow up and accept that we’re happy, and that maybe we could make each other happy,” Conrad shakes his head, “These past few days we shouldn’t have had to worry about you, (Y/n) shouldn’t have been crying because she’s terrified of losing you. She’s meant to be your best friend Belly,” He turns his attention to her, “It wouldn’t hurt you to act like it.”

None of them speak.

Conrad clenches his jaw and looks between them all, thinking of a million more things he could say. But he ignores every single one of them, forgetting everything to simply follow after you. He drops the drinks in his hands down, pushes through the crowds of people, barges his way upstairs, taking the steps two at a time until he gets to his room.

Empty.

[wqterlillypdfs]

👀 jeremiah x reader fluff please ? like a beach picnic sorta thing ?

lyla, omg this request!!! i'm always up to writing for my favourite book boyfriend <333

summer love, beneath the sun

pairing: jeremiah fisher x fem!reader (can be read as gn) summary: upon your long awaited return to Cousins, your long-distance boyfriend Jeremiah Fisher has a special surprise planned for you... word count: 1.5k warnings: pure fluff! none other than that i think a/n: i had such a strong vision for this fic but idk if i did it proper justice! i kinda hate the ending though uhfvdjskm...

Jeremiah Fisher is nothing short of a romantic. He takes special care in absolutely spoiling you with his tooth-rotting sweetness, and today is no different. It had been a long and busy first week back in Cousins meaning you barely had any time at all to catch up with your boyfriend. Jeremiah had promised you a special evening today, just the two of you, and when you had asked him what he was planning, he simply winked at you and told you to wait and see.

So now you’re sitting on the curbside in front of your house, both your hands firmly planted on the harsh pavement below you. The sun was already starting to set and the late summer day’s humidity was making the air stick to your skin. 

You heard the familiar hum of Jeremiah’s big red jeep before you saw it, you smiled to yourself as you watched the jeep roll up next to the curb just a few feet from where you were sitting. Quickly, you pushed yourself to your feet as Jere got out of his car. His arms immediately enveloped you in a tight hug, and you left no time to hesitate before you hugged him back, resting your cheek on his shoulder as he swayed you side to side. 

His hands slip away from your torso to grab you softly by the shoulders. “I have missed you so much,” He states, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before pulling you away from him to look you in the eyes properly. 

He hums, as his features take on a more quizzical look, soft fingers come up to cup your face as he tilts it from side to side, “did you get prettier? I didn’t think that was possible.”

“Stop teasing!” you protest, but your words come out through a fit of laughter, reaching a hand up to tousle his dirty blonde curls, “and actually, I missed you more.”

He nods his head to the side like he’s thinking before saying, “unlikely, and also impossible.”

With a defeated sigh, you give into his antics and let him win this one time. “Okay, fine. But can you please, please, tell me where we’re going? This suspense is killing me!”

Jeremiah laughs heartily, before taking your hand and twirling you around, “it’s a surprise,” he reminds you, “and I hope you’ll love it.” He takes that same hand - and in a show of his usual over-the-top-gentleman-ly behaviour - ushers you to the door which he opened smoothly with his other hand.

You stepped up into his Jeep, relishing in the familiar scent. The leather seats and the smell of the ocean. Jere shut your door before walking around and sliding into the driver's seat. You grabbed the aux cord as he shifted into drive, scrolling through your music library until you found your shared playlist.

The car ride had you feeling like you were on cloud nine, absolutely enamoured in the presence of Jeremiah after being away from him for so, so long. The two of you scream-shouting to your favourite songs and laughing at how horribly out of tune you both sounded. There was no higher form of bliss than what you were feeling now. By the time Jeremiah had stopped the car, you were parked just next to the beach, across the road from you was a small street of local food shops, including your most favourite ice creamery. A sudden thought entered your head and it made you swoon, was this Jeremiah’s special surprise? Was he planning on taking you to a sweet ice cream date?

You reach across the centre console to quickly grab Jeremiah’s forearm before he unlocks the car to get out. “Wait, is your special surprise an ice cream date?”

Suddenly, Jeremiah feels like he’s fucked up. Looking down at your big doe-eyes while he contemplates what he’s about to say next. No, the surprise was not in fact a date to the ice creamery. He had something else in mind and now he wasn’t even sure if you’d like it. And he was more than one-hundred-percent against letting you down, “well, no…” he starts, watching your expression carefully to note any sign of change or disappointment, “but we can do both if you want?”

Jeremiah looks like he’s walking on eggshells to try not to disappoint you, and while you feel guilty you also find it a bit endearing that he’d willingly change the plans he’d made for you to do something that would make you happy. “No! It’s okay,” you quickly counter, “I’m sure whatever you have planned will be just as great.”

He nods, and at first it seems unsure, but then he smirks and says, “oh trust me, it will be.”

You roll your eyes playfully as you shove his shoulder. He sends a wink your way before getting out of the Jeep and helping you out of your side, but before you can get very far on the hard deck that meets the sandy edge of the beach, Jeremiah pulls something out of his pocket. An old red bandana hangs from between his fingertips as a sly smirk forms on his lips. “First, you need to put this on.”

Crossing your arms across your chest, you scoff to yourself, “you’ve put a lot of effort into this.”

“Yes, well you're worth it all, my love,” he says in an awfully cheesy tone, paired with batting his big ocean blue eyes.

“Eugh.”

“Eugh,” he agrees, before gently wrapping the bandana around your face, covering your eyes. “Can you see?” he asks for confirmation to which you shake your head.

“I’m a blind man, Jeremiah,” you tell him. He chuckles in response before placing a hand on each of your shoulders and slowly guiding you away from the pavement of the road, and onto the hardwood deck.

You weren’t joking though, with the blindfold on you really did feel blind, your walk was stiff and unsure, and your hands occasionally shot up to brace for impact whenever your shoes caught in a particularly large gap in the deck. But nonetheless, Jere’s grip on you never loosened, and he was so careful to make sure you were safe.

"Just a little bit further," he whispered into your ear, and all but a few minutes later, he made you turn and led you down a set of stairs until your sneakers hit the sandy floor of the beach. A few more steps later, Jeremiah pulled the blindfold off your head. You squinted as your eyes struggled to adjust to the light, blinking a few times before you registered the sun just starting to set over the horizon, splitting the sky into beautiful shades of blue, purple, and pink, the reflection shimmering across the water.

It took you a few seconds (which were painstakingly long for Jeremiah) to notice the real surprise he had set up for you. On the sandy shore of the beach laid a blue plaid picnic blanket which you recognised as Sussanah’s, accompanied by a picnic basket, as well as a bouquet of beautiful flowers.

The staggering rocks that were a few metres away to your left and the tall green reeds that blended into a thicket of trees on your right made the section of the beach that Jeremiah had taken you to feel somewhat secluded; a private section of the beach just for you two.

Honestly, you couldn't believe your eyes, “all this for me?” you gasped, turning to face Jeremiah who had the audacity to look shy.

He was quick to put on his confident front, pulling you in by the waist and craning his head down until your noses were almost touching.  “Who else would it be for?” he teased, brushing a few stray hands of your hair out of your face.

You felt the blush creep onto your cheeks and you instinctively diverted your gaze back down to the sand. You had no idea how to respond.

A breathy laugh escapes his lips and he pulls away, grabbing your hand and leading you to the picnic blanket. He sits down on the soft fabric before beckoning you to do so as well. Your curiosity gets the better of you, and you lift the flap of the picnic basket to take a peek inside, and you're pleasantly surprised to see that it’s filled with some of your most favourite snacks and foods.

“So.. what do you think?” He asks, as he leans on his side to face you.

“This is so much better than ice cream.”

He laughed again, before pushing himself off the blanket and reaching over the basket to place a hand on your cheek. He caught your lips in a sweet kiss that smeared your glittery cherry lip gloss over your chin. When both of you finally pulled away, Jeremiah tugged your waist down so you were lying next to him, your head resting on his chest. 

This summer had only just begun, and yet you felt as if you could stay like this forever.

tagging: @thatfangirl42

if u wanna be added to my general taglist, or a specific fandom taglist just let me know!

[lunaetis]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐞.

                a secret meant to be kept hidden. the voices that weren't supposed to be heard. the sounds hushed in tone and the noises muffled with each step they took. silence was common even when they were only the two of them. cattleya was no stranger to it, however. an auto-memory doll who often communicated through written words and letters was not unfamiliar with silence.

                but in that quiet air, she heard him ( @wesama ).

                in that silence, it was loud. the sounds of his footsteps as he walked next to her, the shuffle of his movement when dawn hadn't broken from the horizon just yet. when she first met him, he smelled of gunpower and blood, of battles and war clinging to his very form. no matter how many times she washed his hand, the red did not completely come off.

                now, he smelled of freshly baked bread and coffee. he smelled of soil and dirt as he helped her plant vegetables and flowers in the garden. he smelled of the faint floral scent of the flowers he picked out for her. the crimson tainted fingers were replaced by flour and oil of the breakfast he prepared for her.

                " william, " she would call him, despite knowing that probably was not his real name. how she yearned to know it, to know him, to know the man she had saved and the man she had come to — " good morning. "

                did you sleep well ?

                did you have a nightmare again ?

                do you miss your country ? your home ?

                the questions were swallowed down her throat when she looked at him. how shameful. a part of her wanted to ask that. a part of her wanted to know if there were anything she could help him with.

                if he was happy being here with her.

                do you want to leave ... and go back home ... ?

                as the footsteps retreated, the door of her room creaked open, barely making a noise. she could hear the silhouette of his back slowly disappearing into the shadow cast by the sunlight, as well as the muttering words that echoed. how she wished she could understand what he was saying.

                " william ... " that was not his name, but she had nothing else to call him by. fingers clutched gently against her chest, being able to hear the sound of her own heart thumping. calling for him. to hide him like this ... to keep him a secret ... a kind of life where he could not be discovered ...

                there was no way he would be truly happy.

                and she remembered his smile, the warmth of his hand upon her own, how his scarred digits would curl protectively around her smaller ones. a squeeze he'd give their connected hands as they walk. her heart fluttered when their eyes meet.

                william ... my william ...

                " i don't want you to leave ... " the words she wanted him to know, but never could bring herself to say. it's selfish. oh so selfish.

                can you hear me ? hear my heart beating for you ?

[kokomos]

♡₊           ⅰ.  dolce far niente         ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

— starring     conrad fisher !๑

series: dolce far niente can be identified as a period of blissful idleness, a sweetness one gains from indolence. each part in this collection will focus on various idylls from the reader's relationship with conrad.

prompt: your boyfriend cares more about his stupid video game than he does about you!

tags: fem! reader, bratty! reader, bf! connie; established relationship, mixed power dynamics; fluff.

honey's note: taking requests for this series!<3

“connie ,” you pout, tugging at the sleeve of his tee-shirt.

your boyfriend doesn't even blink at the sound of your bleating, far too engrossed in some zombie shooter game that him and his brother bought three—four summers ago. his eyes held an overzealous glint in the coastal hues, having been trained on the screen for what you could only recount as hours. in actuality, it hadn't been more than fifteen minutes, but that was besides the point. he had been neglecting you.

“what's wrong, baby?” conrad's voice lifts to fit a sympathetic tune, though it's swiftly juxtaposed by the lack of eye contact he offers as he speaks to you in it.

a soft whine parts your lips, “pay attention to your girlfriend.”

“five more minutes,” he starts.

“conrad—”

“i promise, just five more minutes, princess.”

he knows he's successfully pacified you when all that follows is a groan of compliance—and he's more than certain an eye-roll is accompanying the gesture. your insistence subsides momentarily, and you settle for as much affection as you can possibly squeeze out of him given his current priority. your arms slink around his waist and you press a cheek against the sinewy muscle of bicep—you're attached at his hip, both figuratively and literally.

“can't you pause?” you coo, simpering faintly.

“can't you wait five minutes?” he retorts, finally shooting a glance or two your way.

an extra thick coat of sugary adulation envelops your words to ensure triumph over the game, “i can't wait five seconds for you, baby.”

the declaration tugs on his heartstrings, just as you had planned, and his cheeks flush an adorable shade of crimson. before you know it, he's abandoned the game and pulled you into his arms; two firm palms discarded the controller in favor of your hips. you hum in content and wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer into your embrace. you feel his lips crease against your skin before he murmurs something you can't quite discern.

three words, was it?

ᡣ𐭩    with love , honey

[harrysrealbo]

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 🎀

ᴄᴏɴʀᴀᴅ ꜰɪꜱʜᴇʀ

ʜᴀʀʀʏ ꜱᴛʏʟᴇꜱ

ᴄʜᴀʀʟᴇꜱ ʟᴇᴄʟᴇʀᴄ

𝘋𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘊𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥

𝘎𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘙𝘶𝘴𝘩

[workinatdapyramid]

jeremiah- AUGUSTINE

conrad- BETTY

belly- JAMES