#i stayed up til midnight of the day it was due trying to finish it on time

[jusiri]

Gotta say, i think the peak of my school performance is gonna be that on our last project of the semester, on the project that all of the upperclassmen said they hated, that people said made them cry

when my teacher was having individual discussions with each of us to go over any mistakes we made and explain it, when i went to talk to him, he said that there's about 15-20 mistakes that students will typically make

and i didn't make any of them

And frankly i dont think im gonna do that well in something ever for the rest of my whole academic career lmao

[nbrook29]

So a few weeks ago, @foxsake5 sent me one of those dialogue prompts, and at the time I wasn’t taking them anymore but since she’s the sweetest I just couldn’t say no 😌💖

I’m sorry for the wait, I hope this isn’t awful :)

Therefore, ladies and gentlemen:

159. [text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.

***

The hopes he had late last night of waking up with all his symptoms miraculously gone vanish seconds after he wakes up and gets aware of his surroundings. 

His head still feels like it’s full of cotton, eyes sting and itch at the same time, and his nose being all stuffy is the proverbial cherry on top of his misery. Before he can fully grasp this truly pathetic situation he’s in, he feels the beginnings of a sneezing fit brewing in his nostrils and sure enough, a moment later all hell breaks loose.

When he finally finishes, his chest aches with the effort and he drops his head back onto the pillow, whining at the unfairness of it all. 

Every year, it’s the same story. Spring comes, trees and flowers release tiny grains to fertilize other plants and Robbe is doomed. He’s so fucking doomed. April barely arrives and he turns into a sneezing, itching, coughing, swollen mess. It’s not pretty. Far from it actually. 

He curses himself for being stupid and believing he was cured after last year’s very mild case. Thinking about it now, it was probably due to being forced to stay in the house for the entire month more than anything. All his hopes of battling this fucking thing forever are now officially gone. His disappointment is immeasurable, his day is ruined.

And, Sander’s not here.

Why is he not here.

Why isn’t he lovingly stroking his brow to ease his sinuses pressure like he did last night.

He’s gonna have to have a serious conversation with his boyfriend because this is just unacceptable behavior.

Tugging the duvet tighter around himself to prevent the chilliness of the room from touching on his toasty warm body, he reaches for his phone. When Sander’s beautiful face welcomes him from his screen background, he yearns for his comforting presence even more. Yes, he’s being a tad dramatic, but sick Robbe has always been a drama queen, needing care and attention. Mama Ijzermans always laughs at him, saying he turns into a five year old when down with a runny nose. There may be a bit of truth to that statement, Robbe is a man enough to admit that. He just really hates having to blow his nose every ten seconds and all that, okay? Sue him.

Just as he’s about to start typing, his eye catches something flickering in the sunlight on Sander’s pillow. Frowning, he shifts closer to inspect it and discovers sprinkles of glitter covering the bottom half, and it’s honestly barely detectable, but for Robbe’s skilled eye it’s no hardship. 

Weird. Unless he somehow missed the fact that Sander turns into a sparkly unicorn every night at midnight in the last year and a half, there’s no reasonable explanation for glitter being in his bed.

He decides to leave it be for the time being and goes back to the job at hand.

R: Where are u and why aren’t u here 

S: Hello to you too, love of my life, light of my day 

R: ☹️

S: I had to run home cause I forgot I promised my mum I'll be there when the couch delivery comes

R: That's a very elaborate excuse for you abandonning me

I won’t hold it against you if you decided to leave me after being faced with my gross snotty self :(

S: You’re not gross

R: I don’t believe you

S: Okay you’re a tiny bit gross rn but I'm not afraid of your snot 💪🏻

I'll be back in 40 minutes x

R: I'll try to survive til then 🥺

I miss you 🥺

I need your cuddles 🥺

I miss your fingers in my hair, my head hurts less then 🤧

S: You're so sweet when you're all sniffly 😂

R: That's cause I need you to get your butt here faster

S: I'll try my best

R: Okay :(

Hey sander?

S: Yeah?

R: My bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall

S: 😶

R: Why is there glitter in my bed

S: Idk

R: I hate glitter

S: Maybe it's the allergies making you see things

R: 😠 what did u do why is there glitter in my bed????

S: Gotta go the delivery guy is here love youuu 

R: SANDER!!!

***

When he wakes up next time his head is still stuffed, but the feeling of warmth coming off Sander’s body and his hand playing with his hair makes it that much bearable. Scooching closer, he wraps his arm around his waist and buries his face into his black t-shirt, hoping the graphical form of Freddie Mercury in the front of it won’t mind much if he messes it with his runny nose by accident.

“I bought croissants on my way over, and there’s hot lemon tea waiting for you in the kitchen. Do you feel like getting up?” Sander asks in a gentle tone, hand stilling where it felt so good on Robbe’s scalp.

And no, he doesn’t really feel like it. So he decides to use the power of his eyes on Sander and rests his chin on his chest, giving him a pleading look that he knows his boyfriend is far from being immune to. 

“Bring it here?”

Sander regards him for a second like he’s searching for a strength inside him to say no to him, but very quickly he gives up, head shaking at himself as his fingers resume the ministrations in Robbe’s hair.

He lets out a deep sigh. “I’m such a pushover, aren’t I?” And Robbe knows he won because there’s a smile tugging at Sander’s lips and a moment later, he disentangles himself from Robbe’s grabby arms, heading to the kitchen for their breakfast.

They eat in bed, sitting side by side, shoulders brushing as they keep reaching for the goodies on the tray balanced on Sander’s thighs. Robbe has his feet tucked under his calves, his extra clinginess during sick time coming out in all force, but Sander doesn’t comment on it, just smiles and kisses his temple, looking like he doesn’t mind to be his personal teddy bear for the time being. He lets Robbe lie half on top of him when they watch silly youtube videos and draws mindless patterns on his back as his arm is probably asleep from being stuck in the same position. His fingers make goosebumps rise all over Robbe’s body and he must be thinking the shiver is the result of cold because he then meticulously tucks the comforter around him, making sure Robbe is burrito-like and safe from cold.

It’s the first time Robbe has been somewhat under the weather since they got together and he melts at every caress and gentle touch that Sander provides without even thinking about it and just in general being this five star on booking.com thoughtful boyfriend.

So yeah, Sander is passing this when-in-sickness exam with flying colors, Robbe thinks, as he leaves a few kisses on what looks like Freddie Mercury’s hair, reveling in Sander’s content sigh.

It’s an all around peaceful afternoon, except when the peace is occasionally broken with sneezing, blowing (only nose, damn it) and groaning in displeasure. Sander is taking it all like a champ, teasing him only a little and handing tissue after tissue, his face twisting at the grossness of Robbe’s state only a few times. Mostly, he just squeezes him tighter, scratches his back in that way he likes, kisses the pout out of his face despite the gross factor and makes him a fresh tea. 

He even cooks him a soup when Robbe naps out of things he finds in Robbe’s mom fridge, leaving Robbe himself gaping at him in astonishment, more so when the soup actually turns out good, because he had no idea Sander could cook something more than croques. 

The confession earns him a light jab in the ribs, light because Sander is still considerate of his state, but jab indeed because he will not stand for Robbe disbelief in his cooking skills, hell no. Robbe then keeps moaning in pleasure at the taste of every single spoon of the tomato soup to show his gratitude (and because it’s really good) and Sander rolls his eyes at him, but there’s a pleased smile on his face that lets Robbe know his ruffled feathers have been smoothed.

When they get back to just simply lounging around in bed with Robbe breathing (wheezing) loudly as he plays with Sander’s fingers, he remembers something.

Propping his head with his hand, he narrows his eyes at Sander. “So what about that glitter?”

The guilty look that immediately blooms on Sander’s face leaves him with no doubt that it was his fault. He thumps his chest in frustration.

“I’m sorry! I just, I was kinda bored after you fell asleep so fast last night, and, um, I bought some new paints yesterday,” he explains, wincing at Robbe’s growing frown. He scratches his head before he continues as if to delay the fallout. “And I wanted to try them out a bit and some of them might have contained, um, glitter in them?” he ends in a squeaky voice, waiting for Robbe to blow up, because he’s well aware of his burning hate for glitter. 

It’s like herpes. Once it’s on you, it never goes away.

“I can change the sheets later?” Sander adds wide-eyed, buttering him up as he leans in to kiss him once, twice, three times, until the scoff on Robbe’s lips melts completely. 

He could get mad, but Sander has been so sweet today and he’s looking so apologetic now, like he’s actually afraid Robbe may throw him out the door for this unfortunate incident of bringing that abomination into his house. The idea is so ridiculous it makes him giggle, and at first, Sander’s confused, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but when Robbe doesn’t stop, he scoffs at him and pouts.

“Ugh, you made me believe you’re gonna yell at me and put a ban on sex for a month or something, jerk.” 

He folds his arms all petulant as Robbe keeps rolling in bed, laughing, but then the sneezing fit abruptly stops Robbe’s fun and he sits up straight, letting out one sneeze after another, losing count after the eighth one. He thinks he got to twenty in the end, his new record, and when it’s finally over he feels so miserable and achy he doesn’t feel like laughing anymore. His eyes are so watery it feels like they’re gonna spill out any second now, nose rubbed so red it’s painful to even breathe and cheeks burning hot from the congestion.

Sander keeps handing him tissues, holding the waste bin in his other hand, and Robbe must look really awful because all signs of sulking are gone from his now sympathetic face as he gathers him into his arms, whispering sweet nothings into his hair as Robbe hides his face in the crook of his neck to keep his frustration tears at bay.

Sander is graceful enough to not say anything when a few escape anyway.

“Maybe you should see a doctor, huh?” he suggests after a while, hand stroking Robbe’s arm. “Maybe he will give you something?”

Robbe shakes his head, his voice raspy when he replies. “It’s no use, the doctor is gonna give me stuff that’s gonna make me drowsy. I just need to get over those first few days, it always gets better afterwards.”

He gets a lingering peck to his forehead. “Okay.” 

“Thanks for being so amazing.” Robbe looks at him with sincerity from under his droopy lids, thumb sweeping under his eye in caressing motion. Sander just smiles, shaking his head a little as if Robbe’s gratitude is silly.

“You’re always there for me when the situation is reversed, right?”

And they both know he’s not talking about allergies, of course he’s not. No more words are necessary as Robbe considers him for a few seconds, love shining in his bloodshot eyes before he shifts closer to place a kiss on his chin and then snuggles to him as close as humanly possible, his heart full when Sander does the same.

Robbe’s eyes sting too much for them to keep watching anything on their phones, but they’re also too lazy to get up and actually do something and they’re not yet hungry enough to think about preparing dinner. So to kill time, Sander quizzes him about Bowie and his lyrics, the year and a half of them being a couple pretty much skyrocketing Robbe’s knowledge about this man, so he knows the answers to 3/4 of the questions, Sander's eyes gleaming with pride as he pretends to wipe the imaginary tear making Robbe giggle and forget about his state for a while.

Eventually, Sander’s calming and sweet like honey voice lulls him to sleep, and the last thing he registers as he’s losing the fight to keep his eyes open is Sander chuckling as he promises him quietly to paint him in all of the intense colors of those glittery paints he owns soon and there’s nothing he can do to stop him.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 1

Summary: Your past with Chris catches up with you.

A/N: Can’t say more than that or it gives stuff away! 😂 Taglist is open, if 

you want to be added let me know 💕

After a long day working at the local coffee shop the last thing i wanted to do was go to a club! But it was Sadie's leaving party so i had to make an appearance or id never hear the end of it.

It had actually been a really fun night, my first night out in what felt like years and after a few drinks i let myself enjoy it. I even had a couple of guys offer to buy me a drink! Just after midnight i caught a taxi home and left the younger girls to carry on with their partying..... how they did it i don't know! Most of them had had far too much to drink already and no intention of stopping any time soon. God i miss the days where i could do that!

When i finally got home i dropped my bag and my jacket next to the front door, went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and headed up to bed. I managed to throw on an oversized t-shirt before crashing face first into bed, the make up removal would have to wait til the morning i was too exhausted to care.

I woke up to my cell phone blaring loudly in my ear, i patted around for it keeping my eyes closed already feeling the hangover! I mumbled a 'hello' then heard the soft chuckle of my mom.

"Had a good night did you?"

"Mmm it was okay, i'm so not used to drinking anymore Ma. How do people do this every weekend?" I moaned as i slowly opened one eye then the other.

"I remember when you'd be out every weekend, you even ended up in Vegas that one weekend...."

"I remember believe me!" I said as i finally sat up grabbing the bottle of water from the bedside cabinet draining half of it.

"I was just wondering what time you were coming over?.... you said 10am but its almost lunch time"

"What??!! are you serious?.... shit. Okay let me go get a cup of coffee and take a quick shower and i'll be there"

"Okay sweetheart, no rush"

"Everything's okay?"

"Yeah yeah all good. I'll see you soon"

"Okay, bye mom".

I had just finished my coffee and was heading upstairs for a shower when the doorbell rang. I was going to ignore it but then whoever it was started knocking.

"Jesus.... give me a second" i muttered marching to the front door, i opened the door just a crack hiding behind the door due to my lack of pants! When i looked through the gap i gasped.... the last person i ever expected to see was stood on my doorstep.

"Chris...."

"Hey" he smiled nervously "sorry for just showing up like this but i didn't have your number. I tried calling the one i had for you but it was out of service"

"Yeah i had to change it a few years back..... wh...what are you doing here Chris?"

"Can we talk inside?.... i don't really wanna do this through a crack in your door" he laughed a little but it was more of a nervous laugh.

"Erm, sure can you give me a couple minutes to go put some pants on?... i was just about to get in the shower"

"Sure"

I nodded and closed the door before quickly rushing upstairs and grabbing my jean shorts from the chair where i had discarded them yesterday. I was just about to leave my room when i passed the mirror and caught a glimpse of my reflection "fuck!" I quickly grabbed a makeup remover wipe and cleaned my face of smudged mascara and run a brush through my hair.... it was no good,  the hair could not be saved! I quickly tied it up in a messy bun not minding the loose bits that fell out, it would have to do!

The living room was a mess so i closed the door leaving just the kitchen visible. Then i rushed over to let Chris in before he thought id run off and forgotten about him. He followed me through to the kitchen and took a seat at the table while i made us both a coffee.

"How you been? Its been a while since ive seen you" he asked softly.

"I guess it has been.... erm i'm good" i shrugged casually keeping my attention on the mugs as i made the coffee.

"Im glad. Seemed like you disappeared off the face of the planet, you just left. No one heard from you...."

"It was for the best, fresh start and all that"

"Im sorry for how we... how i left things"

I shrugged shaking my head

"you really don't have to apologise Chris, you made a choice...."

"A stupid choice..... i was young and very stupid...."

"Whats done is done, theres no point rehashing it... its been almost 7 years i'm over it" i scoffed picking up the mugs and joining him at the table.

"You are?"

"Of course!"

"Thats great" he nodded avoiding eye contact.

"Okay so spill it.... i don't mean to sound rude but i've got somewhere i need to be soon and i'm already running late....."

"Still cant handle your drink huh?" He finally looked at me smirking.

"Apparently not.... how'd you know?"

"Ive seen you hungover enough to know the signs, the hair and the face full of smudged makeup...."

"you saw that huh?"

"Yeah" he chuckled looking me over.

"So....."

"Right... i um....i need you to sign this" He said reaching inside his jacket and pulling out some papers.

"Sign what?..... what could you possibly need me to sign?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he pushed the papers across the table to me. I leaned forward to get a better look and the first thing my eyes landed on... "Petition For Divorce".

I felt my heart start to race as i looked up at Chris..... "what is this? I signed these 7 years ago Chris!"

"I know. I never filed them"

"What?! you mean we're still married?!"

"Yeah"

"Why? You told me you'd take care of it all...."

"And i was gonna, but i couldn't bring myself to do it"

"Jesus christ Chris!"

"Im sorry Y/N" he started to say but I shook my head as i got up to get a pen, when i sat back down and signed them without hesitation Chris made this noise, like i had offended him by signing the divorce papers without an argument.

"What?"

"Nothing, its just you signed them pretty quickly...."

"Chris, i signed these 7 years ago when i loved you.. why wouldn't i sign them again? There's no reason not to..... what we had has been over for years"

"I just thought maybe somewhere down the line we'd work things out"

"I didn't. Any thoughts of us working out ended when you broke up with me because your career was taking off and you liked the attention from all the girls"

"I was an idiot i know, i was just a kid...."

"Bullshit! If you were old enough to get married....you were old enough to know what you were doing".

He looked down shaking his head again, he actually looked ashamed of how he had acted. Maybe he had grown up.

My phone started ringing and i saw my mom's name flashing on the front.

"Hey mom..... oh god, yeah okay.... i'll be there in like 15 minutes i promise" i hung up after saying goodbye to her.

"Im sorry, but i've got to go. You got what you wanted" i shrugged pointing at the papers on the table, he folded them neatly and tucked them back inside his jacket.

"Thank you"

"Can i ask you something?"

"Anything"

"Why now? You didn't bother for 7 years"

"Ive been seeing someone..... its getting kinda serious now...."

"Right, i get it. Your ready for a new wife...." i shook my head suddenly feeling very sad about my past life with Chris "i didn't even get the chance to be your wife.... not really. That ain't worth shit" i pointed towards his jacket where i knew the papers were.

"Its not like that Y/N i swear, i just.... i want the option to be there if the time comes"

"Well i hope it works out better for you this time. Look i have to go......"

"Right okay, sorry. I'll get out of your way" he got up quickly and followed me through the kitchen and to the front door.

"It was good to see you, make sure you file those this time" i said as he walked towards his car.

"You got it, it was great seeing you too" he smiled before getting in his car and driving off.

"Hey Ma!" I called walking into my mom's house.

"Your late" she called from the sofa, i made my way to her and dropped down next to her.

"I know im sorry, you'll never guess who just turned up at my house??!"

"Who?"

"He who shall not be named!" I said quietly, my mom's eyes widened as she gasped "you mean...."

"Yep!" I nodded "turns out we've been married the last 7 years! He never filed.... he came by to ask me to sign them again"

"That boy has some nerve showing up here...."

"Yep"

"Did you sign them?"

"Of course i did"

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that" i shrugged "like i told him, i already thought it was done and over with, i haven't seen him in 7 years.... why wouldn't i sign them"

"Sweetheart....." my mom started to say something but was interrupted by the excited yell of 'MOM!" right before a small body crashed into mine.

"Hey buddy" i laughed hugging my baby close "have you been behaving for nana?"

"Yep, i'm always good" he rolled his eyes before wrapping his arms around me "i missed you mom"

"I saw you yesterday baby" i chuckled running my hand through his brown hair before kissing the top of his head.

"I still missed you"

"Awww ain't you cute! I missed you too".

"Hey! I thought you liked staying with me? We had so much fun" my mom said trying to act offended but smiled when Mason started laughing.

"We had fun Nana, but i missed my mom" he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and i felt my heart swell with love for my baby boy.... well he wasn't a baby anymore, it was hard to believe he'd be turning 6 in a few days.... how time flies.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

[theforestofeden]

Isabella and The Others- Missing Person

Word Count: 2045

Summary: Jem and Dalilah do some detective work.

Warnings!: none! It’s a chill chapter. 

Weeks passed by since the last time she got a true update from the Missing Persons Task Force. Weeks had passed since anyone talked with Nick. As far as anyone could tell whatever his mouth said was true. All the evidence matched up. This brought Dalilah and the rest of her team to a deeply somber belief—the next body they found would be in pieces and torn up. On her way to get coffee, Dalilah passed by Jem's office. She could hear him talking with the Ontario Police Department. She backed up and stopped at the door frame.

"Just fax the information to us." He sighed.

"Can't. We don't have a fax machine. It's broke." One of Pasadena's detectives replied.

"Can you have someone send the files over?"

"Yeah if we want to get in trouble for taking three hours from the department."

"What if I go over there? Our lawyers need to view the evidence Mark." Jem resisted the urge to hang up.

"Fine by me but I go on break in and hour."

Jem ran his hands through his curly hair and hung the phone up. He focused on Dalilah and rolled his eyes. "You'd think the departments would be coordinated. However that is not the case."

"How many departments have you called so far?" Dalilah leaned against the door frame and dipped in her coffee. She would have offered him one, but a cup was already sitting on his desk.

"Two and both of them are refusing to make my job easier." He threw his head back dramatically.

"I'm almost finished compiling evidence-"

"When you're done do you want to come with me? I have to stop by Pasadena, and Culver." He smiled tiredly. He knew she hated long car rides, but he hated long car rides by himself.

"I was just about to offer. Who knows when your ass needs saving again." He shooed her away and she left laughter trailing behind her.

It was 4:56 p.m when Dalilah finished sending her paper work over to the District Attorney's office. She felt sorry for whoever stepped up to be Nick's lawyer. The last one almost lost his job due to bad media representation. It was 5:55 p.m when she got bored sitting in Jem's office. Listening to a one way conversation was as frustrating as watching a muted movie. Dalilah shuffled through the papers on his desk. Making stacks of finished and not finished paperwork. As Jem spoke he indicated what papers should be left alone with a point of his index finger. He flipped his wrist over to read the time on his watch.

"What's the story?" Dalilah motioned to the watch on Jem's wrist. It looked brand new and expensive, yet she knew how much her partner was making. It wasn't enough to spend a couple grand at a drop of a hat.

"My dad passed it to me. Said I finally became a man and a man needed to look good while knowing the time." Jem shrugged and stuffed the rest of his burger into his mouth. "Supposedly it's a heirloom."

"It look great on you." She smiled.

Dalilah recalled one of the first comfortable conversations they had had together. Til this day she still wanted that watch. It was a Notre Dame watch, real leather and a hand designed clockwork encased by sliver.

"I'll see you soon then Lorelai." The phone call ended and Dalilah stood up quickly. She was ready to get out of here. The room had quieted down for a single moment and Nick's psychotic laughter had swept through her mind again.

"Can I drive?" Jem's tone of voice raised in a hopeful manner.

"Yeah," Dalilah began, "your own car." She watched him go from excited to disappointed. Laughing she tossed him the keys to the Nova. "Today's you'r lucky day James."

He ignored the formal use of his name and shouted, "Whoo!" He caught them with one hand and headed out to the car with a bounce in his step.

Once Dalilah slid into the passenger seat she leaned slightly over to Jem. "Don't dog her out James."

"Jem," he corrected her, "and I won't." The familiar sound of the engine filled their heads.

It was dark out and by now Dalilah had reclaimed her rightful spot in the car. They were parked under a street lamp outside of a fast food place. Opting to stay in the car the detectives were reading over the files retrieved from Ontario, Long Beach and Pasadena police departments. The dash board and back seat were covered in confidential papers. The window had a small map taped up. The only things that didn't don a white cover were their laps. Burger wrappers took that place. Dalilah flipped through file and made a frustrated noise. "You asked for missing persons reports from 1985 to 1995. You'd think they would have the competence to do that." She slid the file onto the floor with the others that wouldn't do their case any good. Jem snorted and rolled his eyes. Once they had set aside the obvious people who didn't fit into Miranda Commons' profile they both turned their attention to the map. It had red, green, blue and black markings centralized the west part of it. The black indicated the places the missing women were seen last. The red showed Nick's routine, and the green showed discrete areas. The blue marked where Isabella's and Carina's bodies were found. Jem was grateful for the intel Isabella Kim's case gave them. They were able to map out a routine based on what Natasha provided, bank transcripts, and his over all paper trial. It stretched from Los Angeles to Pasadena with a eight mile radius circling it. Compared to their offices this was a scale replica.  The map that hung in Dalilah's office only incorporated the missing women in Los Angeles. It was weeks old, but the number of women who were potential matches dwindled down to five. Once they would transfer tonight's work onto that map the number of women would increase to ten. One hundred women would have been casted aside.

"What if we expand the radius? A few of these girls are just outside of it." Jem pointed to a few pictures of women on his lap. "These girls were in populated areas. They're too far from wood or a back road for somebody without a car to travel and get his goal accomplished. Plus logistics already expanded the radius by 3 miles to incorporate the victims running away." Dalilah pointed to the wooded areas and back-roads. They were in the opposite direction of the girls by a good 9 miles.

"Why only three? They're running for their lives, I would assume they would go farther."

"Nick wasn't the best at running and the women he killed weren't either. He would let them run but he knew better than to get a girl who can actually run. Besides there hasn't been evidence of the body being dragged or moved to support the hypothesis that Nick moved the body further. At least that's what I think why." Dalilah explained. Jem nodded and continued shifting through the files. Dalilah stuffed the last bite of her burger into her mouth. She held up her index finger signaling for Jem to give her a minute. She stepped out of the car and begin walking around. Being cooped up wasn't ideal. She needed to stretch her legs. The sound of her phone ringing bounced off of the fast-food joint's building.

"This is detective Holland," she answered.  She turned towards the car when she heard the low volume of music drift out of it. It definitely wasn't rock music. She could see Jem snickering. She turned back around.

"Oh thank god you answered. I wasn't sure if you were awake or not." Dalilah recognized the groggy voice as Stephanie Romano's.

"Don't worry about me not being awake. You can call whenever." This was something Dalilah provided the victims family— someone who they could count on.

"I remembered something," she started, "I woke up from a dream, but it wasn't made up. I-it was my memories." She sounded as if she was still trying to piece together information. "It's been so long I had forgotten about her friend Nick. He's a little weird. One day he would be sweet and polite and the next he would be blunt and sarcastic."

Dalilah walked back to the car, "Do you remember his last name?"

Jem turned off the music and listened in on the conversation. Through pieces he figured out who the caller was.

"No, but it started with a 'B'," Stephanie said softly. She sighed and fell silent for a short moment. "I'm not sure if this is the greatest help, but it'll do right?" She sounded unsure of herself.

"It'll definitely do. Thank you Mrs.Romano for calling me." With an exchange of good nights the phone call ended.

Jem looked curiously at Dalilah, but it faded when he started talking.

"I got a call from the head on the field search team. Richard said the last K-9 unit came back and reported the low-profile sites in La were clear. The units will meet back up once everyone is well rested and start up in Pasadena."

Dalilah ran her hand through her hair. "Then I guess we start our door-to-door routine tomorrow."

They both reached to take down the map. Jem took over and left Dalilah to take care of collecting the files and creating stacks. It was midnight when the impala's order was restored. Tonight hadn't been their longest night, yet it felt like it.

"Remember when you sad I could crash at your place if I didn't want to drive home?" Jem asked.

"Consider my bed yours tonight." Dalilah answered.

He smiled softly and turned his head to watch the trees pass by the window. They mimicked his thoughts—passing by so fast they were all just a blur.

The first few times he crashed at her place he would insist he take the couch. Now he just accepted her hospitality knowing she wouldn't let him take anything but the bed. Dalilah let Jem lead himself to her room. She handed him a stack of clothes to change into.

"I've been looking for these." He laughed softly and took the shirt and boxers.

"If you took your clothes home-" she laughed with him.

"If I did that then crashing here would be pointless."

Dalilah shook her head and grabbed a pair of clothes herself. She disappeared into the living room leaving Jem to himself. The couch was comfortable and easy to sleep on. That wasn't the problem for Dalilah. Her problem was her mind going a hundred miles an hour on a road with a speed limit of 35. She gave up trying to sleep. Tossing and turning was getting annoying, so she turned on the tv. She may have been an educated adult, but Nick at Nite still entertained her. It was probably 3 a.m. when Jem joined her in the living room. He came in silently and sat down on the floor with his back against the couch. No one talked. No one moved. Being with somebody else who understood the work was enough to feel like everything was going to be okay even if nothing worked out.

[1stunseeliefaelass]

Darksiders: Arthurian Tales

Chapter 5: Encounters Part 1

Morgen led Death on a path to the forest after getting ready for their midnight ride. Course, all the while Death was wondering how Morgen tamed a Unicorn, a female no less. Unicorns were always timid by nature, and the females especially so. He knew of the stories of Unicorns approaching maidens under various circumstances, but ultimately viewed them as just that. Stories. That and male Unicorns were the ones that said to approach maidens anyway. He'd not heard a story involving a female one. He stopped his musing when feeling Morgen's arm on his chest.

"Hold on a moment. They're in this clearing up ahead. We need to approach slowly. The males can be a bit territorial sometimes." Morgen says quietly.

"You sure they're not just going to bolt anyway? I am the Reaper after all." Death whispers back.

"I've been around this herd many times now. They've gotten used to me, so even with you around they should be fine." Morgen says before heading into the clearing carefully.

Death followed her closely, still skeptical that they'd sit still while he was there. He'd been around Unicorns before, usually by pure coincidence. For some reason babies were fine with approaching him, mainly due to Despair, who usually would try to ignore them. While adults were cautious and kept their distance. Though he's had a few males get brave and try to shove him with their horns. So he wasn't entirely hopeful about this encounter going well.

Once in the clearing, Death glanced around at the small herd. There were a few babies, with Mothers that were grabbing their tails and dragging them back closer. He heard a few protective sounds coming from one of the males as well. The sounds were a mix of a horse and elk. He heard Morgen's voice ahead of him and continued following her. Eventually Morgen found the female Unicorn she was looking for. Death noticed this female looked a little different. She still looked like the others, with the legs and head of deer, body of a horse, tail of lion, and more. Course most females were a bit on the spindly side, this female had more muscle tone to her. He was even more surprised when she approached him. Her horn glowed a bit as it's tip touched his chest. After that she lifted her head up and gave a call, presumably to the other Unicorns. Upon hearing it, they all seemed to go back to their own business. Death then felt something bump his leg. Looking down he found a tiny Unicorn trying to tackle his leg. It didn't last long as the female gently nudged it away.

Morgen then began stroking her neck as she told Death, "Her name is Ataraxy, and she's very docile as you see."

Death approached carefully before stroking her, "I see. She's a bit muscular for a female."

"I've ridden her many times, and given her some food based on books I've read. Speaking of which..." Morgen says before reaching into a pouch.

Ataraxy made an excited sound as Morgen pulled a few sugar coated marigolds from the pouch. Eagerly she ate them up and nudged Morgen happily.

"For instance, I once read that marigolds were a popular treat for their sugary petals. So I'll give Ataraxy a few when I visit her. As you can see, she certainly loves them." Morgen says.

"Intriguing. Despair can eat what most horses do, but he's not a fan of sugar cubes or even apples. One day I actually spotted him kicking at the bones of a long dead animal. I watched him a bit longer and eventually he did manage to break the bone somewhat. After that he started licking at something inside the bone. When I came closer I realized it was the bone marrow." Death says.

"Your horse likes bone marrow?" Morgen asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"He does, and I have no idea why. Eventually I started making bone marrow cubes for him. A mix of marrow with some bone meal in there so that it has some nutritional value at least."

"I see..." Morgen says a bit weirded out.

"I don't blame you for the reaction. I still find it weird myself."

Morgen eventually shook her head and then led Ataraxy to Vortigen's stables where her saddle was. Death summoned Despair in the meantime as he waited for Morgen to finish readying Ataraxy. Despair in the meantime nudged Death for attention. Chuckling, Death gave it to him. Course they then heard little high pitched barks. Death looked behind him and noticed one of Despair's saddlebags was moving. He chuckled again and lifted the flap, finding a jealous, little, white Limt inside there.

"Fuzzball, what are you doing in there? You're supposed to stay home you know that." Death says petting him a little.

Fuzzball only barked more, wanting to be held like the big baby he was.

"Ok ok jeez, you are so needy. Just quiet down already." Death says finally scooping the critter up.

Once he did so Fuzzball was calm and panting happily. Death then heard Morgen gush from behind him,

"Dawwwwwww. What a cutie?" Morgen says seeing Fuzzball.

"Yeah he's pretty cute, when he's not being a baby."

Death got an annoyed 'merph' noise from Fuzzball. He snickered before setting Fuzzball back into the saddlebag.

"I know you have Despair and that crow of yours, but I didn't know you had a Limt." Morgen says.

"Yeah. I only have him because he can be useful at times. More often than not he stays home though, as he can't really defend himself. Not that he doesn't try. Even Dust picks on him."

"Your crow?"

"Yes. I've had to break apart several fights over the years, luckily they are rare nowadays. Usually it's because Dust, being a crow, decided to be to annoy Fuzzball too much." Death says.

"Hehehehe I see. How did you end up with Fuzzball exactly? I can't imagine you picked him up and randomly decided to keep the little rodent."

"It was not my finest moment. Perhaps a conversation for the ride?" Death asks as Morgen mounts Ataraxy finally.

"Sounds good to me."

The two then rode off together down the road. Death then began to regale Morgen with the tale of how he met Fuzzball. Death had known about Limts before meeting Fuzzball. Usually they were seen as nuisances and pests since like most other rodents, they'd eat just about anything. But with Limts, that was all too true. Limts can and will eat anything they can take a bite out of. Even if sometimes what they eat isn't edible. They were also known for access amount of fur, and for healing powers that very few people could explain. Death met Fuzzball on a realm with an eternal winter, he couldn't recall which one exactly. However he did remember a battle taking place and how in the middle of it, Mother Nature seemingly decided to smite everybody there. An avalanche came about and sucked in just about everybody in it's wake. The avalanche had also knocked a few boulders loose, with one landing on Death. It had pinned his arm and despite his efforts he couldn't free himself in time. While buried under the snow, Death tried digging himself out with his free hand. Only for more snow to fall on him with each hole he dug. Eventually he dug one final hole, but he was running low on air. That's when he heard a high pitched bark and looked up to see Fuzzball. Fuzzball then without any prompting or insensitive, began to eat the snow surrounding Death. Granted the little rodent had to stop every few circles to puke up water. It took some time, but Fuzzball eventually dug Death up enough for him to breathe properly. Course he was still pinned under the rock. Fuzzball however once again jumped into action. He began to bite off rock chunks and chew them up before spitting them out. The chewed bits flew pretty far and fast from what Death recalls. Fuzzball kept it up for a good while, but eventually just didn't have it in him to eat anymore rock pieces. So he called for backup and more Limts came by. Pitching together, they chewed the rock into a more sizable boulder that Death could move. Once Death was free at last he thanked the little creatures and began to head home. Course Fuzzball in particular stayed behind and even followed Death. At that point Death decided he may as well take the little Limt with him. Fuzzball even surprised him more by gumming him broken arm, which is how they trigger their healing ability.

"Wow, that's quite the story. I'm guessing he's ever the loyal critter then?" Morgen asks amazed.

"He is loyal for sure, much like Despair and Dust. He's just also very needy and acts more like a lapdog than the rodent he is. He even figured out how to use puppy eyes."

"Oh really? I'm guessing you've caved in once or twice." Morgen asks teasingly.

"Yeah you may find it funny now, just wait til he does it to you. Then you'll see for yourself why his puppy eyes annoy me. Only War and Fury can resist him everytime. I can only resist him sometimes and Strife, nada." Death says.

From there the two decided to take a break. Despair and Ataraxy got a bit playful with each other once their riders were off the saddles. Fuzzball jumped from the saddlebag he was in and scurried over to Morgen as she sat down. Hoping into her lap and making a sort of purring sound. Death chuckled as she gushed and petted him. They then heard a little growl and Death sighed before searching Despair's saddlebags for food. Morgen herself was a little tired and decided to lay down for a spell. Falling asleep pretty easily soon after. Morgen then woke with a start sometime later.

She looked around and saw no sign of Death, Ataraxy, Despair, or Fuzzball. Already on edge, she stood up and called out for them. Getting no response, she went down the path to look for them. Only to find herself at that river. The same river, where her deed had been done. She looked onto the river in a stunned silence of sorts, then began to hear distorted, harsh sounding crying. Looking around, she saw some brush nearby moving about. Gingerly she moved it to the side and saw a fetus crying on the ground. Morgen began to back away in shock and horror, only for the thing to become bigger. With spindly limbs and a disjointed body. It snarled at her as more fetuses began to come from the shadows. Their cries filling her ears as Morgen began to scream apologies over and over again. However, she felt something grab the back of her clothes and pull her into the lake. As she tried to free herself, she saw the green eyes of Kelpie. Behind it were more eyes in the murky water. The eyes then charged at her.

Morgen awoke, this time for real, with a scream of terror. Death was already next to her, having overheard her whimpering and muttering in her sleep. Death nearly asked if she was alright, but her sobs answered that for him. Fuzzball snuggled Morgen as she curled up, hiding her face in her legs and hugging herself. Death decided to let her be for now, only giving the occasional strokes on her back. After some time Morgen finally calmed down. When Death asked if she wanted to return to Vortigen's home, she only nodded silently. Death helped her onto Ataraxy before getting on Despair. Fuzzball hopped onto Morgen's leg and did his best to crawl up into her lap. Morgen eventually helped him achieve that as they rode on. Placing Fuzzball in her lap and gently petting him.

[brothersjacksonvideos]

2 True Scary Stories At Home (Ft. Mr. Midnight)

Watch The Video Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFEgaAkWnu4&t=3s I live in an end of terrace house in a decent area of Manchester in the United Kingdom. Like I say, the area is decent but, in my lifetime there has been a few somewhat disturbing crimes. It’s the kind of place that as I child I was given a lot of freedom, but, still taught necessary rules to stay safe.

Anyhow, this happened only about a year ago and I had just got a cat off my uncle, as he was moving to a smaller place. I live with my dad and my older sister and am 21 now, when this happened I had just turned 20, I am quite scrawny and don’t have much muscle for my age, but due to my hobbies in athletics I can easily hold my own.

I can recall the night well as it still shits me up, it was a Tuesday and my dad and sister had gone to the local pub for the pub quiz. This happens every Tuesday and this particular Tuesday was no different, they had always already left by the time I got home from work as, I finished at night and got home around 10:30pm. This night was no different, I turned up at home a little later than usual. Probably 20 to 11 (fucking buses) and walked up my path and opened the door.

As I entered the living room, Terry, my cat instantly began purring and rubbing his head against my leg. I knelt down and stroked him, I walked to the kitchen, we have a large open plan living/dining room that leads to a huge window that looks out into the back garden, though a clothes maiden often covers a lot of the view. I turned into the kitchen near the back of the open plan room and fed my cat, I stood watching him eat and half-heartedly prepared my own food. After he finished eating, he ran to the back door and began meowing and scratching. I must say that we don’t have a cat flap, you might say this is wrong or bad, but we only recently got the cat and a lot of the neighbourhood cats try to get in to our house even without a cat flap, so we thought it best not to get one. But, I’m so glad we didn’t have one this night…

I unlocked the back door and my cat ran out into the darkness til I couldn’t see him and I closed it. I didn’t lock it in case he decided he didn’t want to stay out and started scratching at the door. I went back into the kitchen and whilst waiting for my food to cook, I began washing up, looking out into the pitch black of the garden. It was so dark I could see my reflection clearly in the window. my house was silent, but I was still shocked when I actually heard Terry hiss from outside and fly over the fence to next door. Like I say, I’m not an idiot and it did shock me, but with Terry being a new cat to the area, I just assumed it was it was an older bigger cat and didn’t feel the urge to check the garden to see him, after all he has to fend for himself and I won’t always be there. This view quickly changed when I turned my back on the window momentarily to put some bowls in the cupboard and turned around to see someone stood really close to the window, dressed all in black and wearing a really simple, cheap ‘clown’ styled mask. I jumped about a meter in the air and this guy didn’t even fucking twitch. I was rooted to the spot for a moment and then he tilted his head and breathed on the window. It was like something from the fucking purge. 20 year old me could feel tears welling. What kind of fucking situation was this? I stood not moving. He didn’t move either… and then… I remembered the back door. He must have seen my face and realised as he lunged for the door as did I, I reached the door and saw him run straight past, possibly realising he didn’t win. I locked the door and backed away not taking my eyes off it when I heard the front door open, I turned and sprinted to the porch door, the only thing between me and this mad man. I stood there crying for at least five minutes before realising there was no force against the door. I relieved the pressure I was putting on the door and peaked out of the curtains… Nothing. My front door was open, and I couldn’t see anyone in it. I decided, very very stupidly to open the door and did so quickly. The porch was empty and my keys were still there. I slammed the door and locked it quickly. I ran to the kitchen, got my phone and called the police. The house was really quiet. It may have been my fear but it seemed too quiet. I was talking to the operator and explaining how I thought the guy may have left when I heard a thud on the back window. I looked and saw the bastard stood at the back door, just staring at me. He raised his hand and I saw a tiny stone in his hand and he just began scratching the glass with it. Not breaking or smashing or throwing or anything like that, just lightly scratching it. I was so scared and told the operator who assured me police would be at my door in 5 minutes and to keep the doors locked until I see or hear sirens. I showed this twisted creep my phone so he know who I was talking to, and, strangely, he didn’t sprint off scared or run as fast as he could to get away, he just turned away, walked down my garden and, in the darkness, crept out through our broken back gate.

The police showed up and I had to follow standard procedure and leave a statement and the police filled my dad in when he got home later on. He installed a security light the next day and told me everything would be okay

To be honest. At the time it was scariest fucking thing ever, but nowadays its not to bad, possibly a prank or some shit. Either way it scared me enough to tell you guys and… after all that… we really definitely never got a cat flap.

Mr.Midnight story on my channel: https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/comments/3oraf3/dont_let_them_follow_you_home/

[ignitingwriting]

Igniting Writing ‘Connections’ Contest 2021, Submission by Bliss

The Worst Dream of My Life

Two years, 24 months, 104 weeks, 730 days, 17240 hours. Yep, that’s how long I’ve lived. Lived in guilt, misery and pain, that is. I am 14 years old, but the previous two years of my life have led me to believe my existence is a shattered window, a mistake made in permanent marker, a precious artefact when broken is unable to be fixed. Two years ago my life was ruined and this is how.

My past.

My name is Fiona Saunders. I have hair as red as roses and emerald green eyes. I am slightly over average height and a loyal, kind person – usually, anyway. I grew up with the best parents ever. When I was really young I longed for closer connections.

When my parents sent me to nursery I made the best friends I had ever had. There was Michelle – her hair was a bright blonde, she was very tall for her age and was a sweet, gentle person. There was also Serenity; average height with dark brown, long hair. She was as serene and calm as her name implied. Bree was a living firework. Her hair was rose-gold and always sure to put a smile on your face. Finally, my ultimate best friend Crystal – she was all these character traits whisked together. She had white-blonde hair which enhanced her angel persona. We had been best friends for years! Until…

Two years ago.

It was a few days before my 12th birthday and we were having an epic sleepover at Crystal’s house. Makeovers, movies, pillow fights, midnight snacks, secrets – you name it. The positive aura was so high it would’ve broken a scale. After what seemed like hours, we settled down. Late at night or early in the morning, I laid my head down and escaped reality.

When we awoke we saw Sophie (Crystal’s big sister – basically a prettier, older version of her). “Girls, you need to get dressed for the shopping day!”

She patted our suitcases. My mind whizzed; last night had wiped thoughts of the future away. I got dressed in my favourite hoodie and shorts. I went to the window to check the weather but it was heavy pouring against the glass.

We ran downstairs and got in the car. Five minutes later it was madly pouring – my heart was rapidly pacing but my friends were so happy I couldn’t spoil that. Terrified, I attempted to join in the laughter. Each drop of rain created clouds, covering my positive sunshine.

Suddenly I glimpsed a large lorry and it was heading towards us! I was paralysed, heart beating like a drum. At last I screamed out to Sophie, but it was too late. When she looked to me, time froze. A deafening crash rang in my ears and my stomach flipped. Screams, yells, then silence.

I remember the stiffness of the bed I was carried on. The teardrops landing on my face, the voices slipping through my ears. After multiple checks, I discovered the accident had given me a concussion, I had broken my right leg and my arm blossomed with purple bruises.

I stayed in hospital for two weeks. All that time I felt no pain, just anxiety for my friends’ health; for all I knew, they could be in a vegetative state. Sweat started to build up in my hospital gown and I couldn’t think straight. My parents avoided eye contact, but my anger got the better of me.

“WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS?!” I shrieked, eyes watering.

To my shock I wasn’t the only one with moist eyes. My mum and dad didn’t respond, but a nurse entered the room. Her face was in a melancholy state. She had obviously heard everything.

“I’m so sorry, but your friends didn’t survive the crash.”

Who knew a sentence could break your heart? No, try banish my heart from existence. In that moment I knew. My chest was empty now and my legs gave way as I tumbled to the ground.

When I awoke, my eyes revolved. I was at home. But it didn’t feel like it, not without my friends. My brain whirred as I remembered. My friends were dead… dead, they were never coming back and it was all my fault. I lost my soul sisters and my mentor who was like my big sister.

As time passed, I changed. My red hair was now dyed pitch black, my emerald eyes faded to grey and I only wore black – navy for special occasions, if there were any. I converted from vibrant, blissful beauty to a melancholy goth look-a-like.

I blamed myself so hard for the deaths, any harder would’ve killed me. It may’ve been wrong, but I would give anything to have replaced them orgone with them. Consoling me only made me feel worse. When people said it wasn’t my fault it was a case of blatant lying. My life was over but I was alive. And that was the worst thing ever.

Present day.

My name is Fiona Saunders. I am 14 years old now, but my life isn’t any easier. I am still a stupid mistake and, of course, self-blamingly friendless. I’ve just finished school term at Woodhall High. It’s the summer holidays. Great.

A reminder of my past is just what I need. My best friends’ funeral memorial is coming up, on my birthday. Swell! The only way I stayed healthy and well was due to my parents unconditionally loving me.

Trudging, I opened the door to my room. Since… you know, I’ve redecorated. My walls are dark grey and I only have a wardrobe, mirror and dressing table, along with my bed. I laid in bed, drowsy, and I slept.

I could hear crying – strangely familiar. I looked around and gasped. It was me from 10 years ago. I was four years old, longing for my parents on my first day of preschool. I had stopped crying when I felt a tap on my back. There were four girls behind me.

“Are you alright?” asked the taller one, with long, blonde hair. Another girl with rose-gold hair passed me a tissue.

“You were crying a lot. Do you miss your mummy?” questioned the girl with dark brown hair.

I nodded miserably. The final girl with white-blonde hair hugged me.

“Hello, I’m Crystal and we are all part of the Sad Police. If you’re sad, we can help with hugs.”

I laughed and so did they. That was the tale of my friendship’s origin.

Opening my eyes, I grinned. It felt lovely to remember that. I sat up and yawned. That was when I noticed I wasn’t alone.

“Hello Fiona, miss us?”

“Crystal, Serena, Michelle, Bree?!” I shrieked, overwhelmed. “How are you here? You… I… but… dead… what?”

Bree laughed. “Can’t we see our best friend from time to time? We flew down to see you!”

Serena nodded and ruffled my hair. “That’s right old chap!”

I giggled, attempting to hide it.

Michelle smiled at me. “You’re so tall and grown up now, compared to a few years ago.”

My heart sank a little, knowing she was referring to when she last saw me.

Crystal saw my face and spoke. “Don’t worry, silly. Past is past. Speaking of past, what happened to your style?”

I told them everything about what I’d felt, the life changing sentence, the flashback. Their expressions were so empathetic my sadness lifted slightly.

“Poor Fi. Hey, I know what to do! Girls, all give Miss Goth a past makeover – but better!” exclaimed Crystal. The others whooped excitedly and got started.

Two hours later they allowed me to look in the mirror. I gasped. I was beautiful again! Red locks once again flowed from my head, soft and silky. My eyes were a joyful sparkly green and I was dressed in bright clothes. I felt so free, so loved, so happy. Until –

“I’m sorry, Fi, but we really must get back now,” Crystal said.

Once again, a sentence changed my life.

“So that’s it, then?” I asked. “You’re just going to come back and give my life purpose, then take it away? Do you have any idea how much I suffered? I blamed myself for everything, almost died of heartbreak and now you’re walking into my life just to LEAVE?!”

I was shouting now, overcome with anger, grief and confusion. But then I saw the faces of my friends. Emotions were stirred up. I saw the devastation, guilt and sympathy written within their eyes, but I also saw fear. I felt so awful then, so monstrous.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, tears trickling down my cheeks. I kept saying it and suddenly I rose and walked up to the mirror.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’M SORRY!” I yelled and smashed my head against the mirror. The pain was excruciating, but I kept going on ‘til I lost consciousness and feel down.

“I’m sorry.”

Panting, I opened my eyes and rubbed them.

“What?” I said. My arms and hands looked so young. Crystal, Bree, Serena and Michelle entered, looking worried.

“Thank God you’re awake! You’ve been sleep talking so much!” exclaimed Bree.

“I know, right?” agreed Serena.

They chatted and chatted, oblivious to my relief and utter elation. I was 12, loved, not alone and what I felt and saw, the pain and guilt – it was just a dream.

[pak-pak-suhgar]

Betting Everything

Summary: Your 4 year relationship with Johnny is easily ruined when his ex girlfriend came back. Pairing: Johnny x You x Jaehyun Characters: Yuta, Jaehyun, Johnny, You. Genre: very angst, slight fluff at the end(?) Words: 3k. click this link to listen to the song. Due to NCT’s busy schedules Johnny and you barely saw each other. You would occasionally text and call each other, sometimes Skype would work for the both of you when he has free time after their midnight radio show. But these days, you've noticed how he's been responding late with your messages, and sometimes he wouldn't answer at all. That made you worry to the pits.

You sighed for the umpeenth time as you stared at your phone expressionless, your gazed shifted towards your best friend Jaehyun who was busy playing games on his phone "You're not helping at all." You spoke for the first three of hours of being with Jaehyun, you're currently at NCT's dorm hoping to see your beloved boyfriend whom you missed but to your misfortune he isn't present at the moment. 

Though he did tell Jaehyun that Johnny went to see his parents who just came back from Chicago for a short vacation. You knew Johnny missed his family a lot so you understood his reason of not being here and decided to wait.You decided to sleep in Johnny's room while waiting for him, when you woke up you didn't noticed the time. 

You checked your phone and it read "1:27am" you sighed and throwed your phone on the bed. Johnny was still nowhere to be found and Jaehyun was sleeping peacefully on his bed, not wanting to wake the big guy up. You quietly got off of Johnny's bed and fixed it before leaving his shared room with Jaehyun.

You decided you would text him to meet up tomorrow if he can make time for you that is, exiting the secret passage to their dorm you headed to the usual direction to where you and Johnny usually go every time you came over to hang around their dorm. Far from distance you heard a noise, you thought it was just some guard doing random checks. 

But when you heard the voice, you recognized it was your boyfriend's. You were happy and was ready to approach him when you saw him hugging and kissing someone else that isn't you. You froze on your spot and stared at your boyfriend, you took a glance at the girl and realized who she finally was. A bitter smile was plastered on your face when you recognized the woman who he had just kissed recently. It was Johnny's ex girlfriend from his high school days, back when he was still in Chicago. He told you she was his first love and first girlfriend. And considering they dated quite long enough, you knew you had no chance of winning against that. She was after all the first girlfriend, suddenly your 4 year relationship with Johnny didn't seem like it mattered.Clearing your throat as you stayed in your spot, you decided to test Johnny's loyalty. 

You took a step backwards, somewhere not near from the two people before taking your phone and dialing Johnny's number. You heard Johnny's phone rang and heard him to the girl to wait for a bit, when he picked up your call you heard him calling out your name "Hello, (Y/N?)" He said, you paused for a few seconds before speaking in your cheerful tone "Hey, babe!" You tried to reply as cheerfully as you can "Where are you? I miss you. You haven't been responding to me these days."

 You tried to sound like you were whining and pouting, there was a silence in Johnny's line before he cleared his throat "I'm sorry, I've been busy these days.. and I'm still at the radio station." He said, you smiled a bit. Knowing that he was lying to you, and considering he didn't said that he missed you tells you something.

 You nodded your head, getting the message as you breathed heavily before you can respond he talked again "Hey, I gotta go now okay? I'll talk to you whenever. Bye." He hung up immediately before you can say anything, you watched him from afar with his ex. 

Tears are now running down your face as you quietly stepped away from the painful scene around you.You went back home feeling dull and empty, going back to your apartment felt like you were bringing yourself more pain. Your memories with Johnny flooded your mind. 

You had too many questions but one thing for sure, he lied about his family going back here. When in fact it was his ex girlfriend who went here to see him. The whole night, you didn't slept and waited for tomorrow to come. When morning came, you immediately dressed up and dialed Jaehyun's number. "Hello, (Y/N?)? What's up?" He asked, you could tell he was still sleepy from the way he spoke to you "Hey, Jae. Care to join me for a scavenger?" You asked trying to sound funny, you heard him scoff and chuckled "For what?" "Just... please, come with me today?" You pleaded, hoping he would agree. You heard him sigh before he gave in "Fine, I'll fetch you in your apartment within 20 minutes." He said, you thanked him as you hung up the phone.You wore your ripped black jeans and matched it with a black crop top before matching a black cardigan. Your outfit of the day all contained black and only you knew the reason why. 

When Jaehyun fetched you, he didn't asked you for it but found it weird. You stopped by a cafe with Jaehyun, the same cafe you go with Johnny when you two are out on a date. You chose the spot where you wouldn't be noticeable, And like your prediction Johnny brought his ex girlfriend in here. Jaehyun's eyes widened when he saw Johnny with another girl he was about to speak but you hushed him. 

You took out your phone and called Johnny "Hey baby, where are you right now?" You asked as soon as he picked up the phone, you saw him hesitating for a moment as if he was thinking of what excuse he is going to give you right now "I'm with Jaehyun, wait. I'll call you later, okay? Bye." Once again, he lied and didn't gave you a chance to speak.Jaehyun on the other hand couldn't believe what he just heard and saw. 

You dropped your phone to your table and grabbed Jaehyun with you as you walked towards Johnny's table. "So you're with Jaehyun?" You spoke up, Johnny got startled by your comment and you never imagine his eyes could grow that big he stood up and stuttered on his words "I- I can explain-" "There's no need for you to explain. I saw everything last night too." You spoke, your eyes clearly showing pain as you looked at him. "I was at your dorm hoping to see you, Jaehyun said you went out because your parents are here. But I saw you with her." You said, as your eyes shifted to his ex girlfriend who seemed confused on the situation. 

You gazed back at Johnny who doesn't seem to feel guilty before running his hands over his hair "I get it, Johnny. I have no chance against your ex girlfriend... or maybe girlfriend again whom you dated since you're in Chicago.." You said, trying your best not to tear up in front of him because that would be the worst "I'm not going to bother fighting for you since you would obviously choose her over me. But thank you for these four years, Youngho." You finally said his birth name instead of his English name. "I hope you last with her." You said before turning around to leave, Jaehyun only glared at Johnny before going after you."So, what's your plan now?" Jaehyun asked, while he watched you packed your clothes. "I'm gonna go away, I don't know for how long but I need to move away. So I could forget." You said as you finished packing "I'm not leaving today, but I packed because I might leave sooner. I still have to clean up this apartment anyway." 

You told Jaehyun, he doesn't seem to be listening to what you just said as he said something that surprised you."I love you, (Y/N)." Jaehyun confessed, you didn't speak as you let him finish "I've always have... I never had the chance to profess my feelings for you because you liked Johnny, you were madly in love with him. Johnny.. however while he  dated you. he couln't get over about his ex. Those four years... I don't know if he loved-" "Stop." You said, you're crying this time now as you failed to suppress your sobs "I- I knew somehow Johnny's love for me wasn't that full because of his ex girlfriend but I stayed with him, I stayed by his side til the time he debuted.. I guess I was blindly in love with him.. I was... no.. I tried to be oblivious of your feelings but I knew you felt something for me, Jae.. and... I-I can't return that now.." You told him honestly as you faced him. Jaehyun nodded in agreement as he caressed your face "I understand." He said, and with that he left your apartment for you to have some space.Two weeks have passed since your break up with Johnny, you've already placed the last item in the box full of the things that Johnny gave you. It hurt you but you needed to do this, you texted Jaehyun that you would drop by the dorm and he said he'll be present to welcome you. 

When you arrived in the dorms, you purposely went there without Johnny around so you wouldn't have to face him. Jaehyun only looked at you and the box you were holding as you placed it on the ground "These... are all the things that Johnny gave me ever since we started dating.. Tell him it's up to him if he wants to burn it, throw it away or whatever. I just don't have the heart to do those things.." You said, biting your lips to sustain yourself from crying again. You looked at Jaehyun and gave him a sad smile before pulling him into a hug "I'm leaving, Jae. I don't know for how long but hopefully when I come back.. I can reciprocate your feelings.. Please wait for me.. this might be a selfish thing to ask but wait for me, okay?" You told him, caressing his cheek one last time, he bit his lip and nodded. You smiled at him and bid goodbye before leaving the dorm.

You took one last glance at your apartment... his apartment to be exact now. The memories once again flooded your mind making you tear up. You looked around one last time before exiting the apartment, you placed the key and your spare key on the mailbox. "Goodbye, Youngho." 

When you arrived back in Tokyo, you decided to stay somewhere that is out of NCT's reach. But you did tell your brother, Yuta. You came back in Japan to forget. He was furious when he learnt that Johnny cheated on you with his ex girlfriend- now his girlfriend and has been giving him the cold shoulder according to the boys. Johnny could careless that was what you heard, you assured Yuta you'd be fine and you found a stable job to survive living in Japan while you're healing.

Johnny's POV.

The moment she found out I was cheating at her with Tori.. I didn't feel guilty, I was supposed to considering that I've been dating her for four years in a row. I admit that during the time I spent with her. Most of my heart still remained in Chicago.. and with Tori.. I could never really get over Tori. 

The only reason why we had to break up is because neither of us can do long distance relationship. So when I came to Korea to pursue my dreams, that's where I met her. I wanted to ask myself if I loved her. Did I really? I don't know either. Maybe I just wanted to be with someone, who can company me. Who can fill the void that Tori left in me when I left Chicago.

I heard from Jaehyun that (Y/N) dropped a box for me that contained everything I gave her, from the first gift I gave her when it was our first month anniversary. I didn't know why but I felt a little pang in my heart as I went through the things that I gave her. I closed the box and hid it under the bed when I saw Tori walking towards me, flashing a smile at her I quickly enveloped her in my arms, kissing the top of her head as I sighed in content. 

I didn't mean to hurt (Y/N). But I couldn't bring myself to apologize either, how much of a jerk am I?

3 years had passed and things was supposed to go smoothly, like I thought and planned. But they didn't, I was supposed to propose to Tori when I overheard her conversation with her friends. I guess karma do really exist because I just found out that Tori was just using me for my money and my fame, she was the reason why there were already rumors of me dating when it is extremely prohibited for me to date. I was mad, I was very angry and furious at her actions, my mind suddenly drifted to (Y/N).. when she and I are dating she respected my privacy and she was very understanding she would rather be at dorms with me watching netflix. She was a very indoor person rather than an outdoor. I didn't know why she came into my mind the moment I found out about Tori's wrongdoings. 

I broke it off with Tori and she didn't hesitated to leave to go back to Chicago. All of a sudden, I thought how was (Y/N) doing. Is she fine? Is she back in Korea? I heard from the boys when we broke up. She moved back to Japan. I wanted to know if she still loves me... now that I realized how much she truly meant to me and how much I really loved her. Will there be a second chance when she comes back? These are all the questions that I've been dying to know the answers.

Author's POV:

It's been exactly 3 years since you left Korea, now you smiled at the bitter thought that crossed your mind. You thought you wouldn't go back to this place. But of course you had to comeback.. you had to comeback to that one person who's waiting for you. While you were in Japan. You only kept in contact with Jaehyun and Yuta. Jaehyun was very consistent with you, despite his busy schedules and with NCT's going crazy popularity nowadays. He managed to spare his time just for you and only you, one year ago he also surprised you and visited you in Japan without anyone knowing. Not even your brother Yuta knew about it. 

You were happy with the way things between you and Jaehyun. It didn't take you long enough to give him his long awaited answer. And now you're back in Korea to start living a new chapter of your life with him. When you got out of the airport, he couldn't fetch you but their manager did. 

Their manager, Hyun Joon was nice enough to let you guys date but of course it had to be in secret. You understood that part considering you dated Johnny for four years. Speaking of Johnny, you haven't heard from him in awhile. All you knew him and Tori broke up that's the last news you've ever heard of him. When Hyun Joon fetched you, he brought you to the after party of NCT's concert. They successfully wrapped up their first ever concert and you decided to surprise Jaehyun."Jaehyun, you got a minute? Someone wants to see you." Their manager spoke up, Jaehyun rose from his seat and the other boys stopped whatever they're doing to look at Jaehyun. When their manager gestured for you to come out. 

You came out with a cake in your hand as Jaehyun smiled wildly as he went towards you to kiss your cheek while the gasps from the boys could be heard "(Y/N?!)" They all said in unison, even your brother was in a great shock and you could only grin at them. There was however one person who didn't seemed pleased at the action exchanged between you and Jaehyun."Since when?!!!" They all asked, it only made you chuckle as Jaehyun's hands hovered yours "It was on his birthday." You simply said and you can hear them all scoffing "No wonder he flied to Japan then, he went to see you and you gave him the answer. That's fine. You two make a great match anyway." Yuta spoke, eyeing Jaehyun as he gave him a death glare "Hey, Jaehyun! Hurt my sister and you'll never get to see the tomorrow's sun." Yuta joked making Jaehyun and the other boys laugh except for Johnny "(Y/N)." He suddenly spoke up making the others look at him and you, including your boyfriend "Let's talk?" He asked you, his eyes look at you with plead and you turned to Jaehyun to ask for his permission he nodded his head and mouthed "Go". 

He trusted you enough that you wouldn't choose Johnny no matter how much you loved him. You excused yourself from the rest and got up before following Johnny."Out of all people, why him?" Johnny asked as he faces you, "Was it to make me jealous and get revenge? You'd use my best friend-" Slap! You slapped Johnny for the very first time, it sting but you couldn't careless "You think this is all about you?" You scoffed and closed your eyes in distress before letting out an exasperated sigh "Johnny.. this isn't about you. I had no intentions of making you jealous or revenge or whatsoever. I will never stoop that low." You claimed, biting your lip as you suppressed yourself from breaking down "What's the point of this anyway? Are you trying to get back with me because she left you?" You asked, emphasizing the matter that she left him. He was left speechless and stuttered on his words when you raised a hand gesturing for him to stop " This is pointless, you don't need to explain to me. It's none of my business." "It is your business!" "Why?!" You asked, this time you were screaming at him now "Why do you need to explain?! There's nothing to explain, Johnny. Okay? Nothing." You said, as you blinked the threatening tears away. "If you have nothing more to say, I'm leaving." You said and was about to leave when Johnny stopped you "Listen, (Y/N).. I'm never handing you to Jaehyun. I'm going to bet everything and win you back." He said, you brushed Johnny's hands off of you and inhaled deeply before speaking to him "You’re never getting me back ever again, Johnny." You said, and with that you left him standing to go back to Jaehyun and the rest.He looked at your fading figure with his clenched fists as he eyes grew darker "You're going back to me, I'm getting you back and that's final." He mumbled to himself before leaving the place.

[shroudwayman]

149. What's the last adventure you went on?

[MUN/PLAYER/BLOGGER/TRASH OVERSEER TIME] 

OKAY so my last adventure was a Valentine’s Day gift for @nathanielgraves​ (you, you asker) and I, and thus I am ABSOLUTELY GONNA GUSH ABOUT IT. It’s pretty long and swirly, so I dropped everything below the cut but there’s also a TL;DR at the bottom for those who wanna cut to the good stuff. ♥

On Feb 13th, [Nate/Certo] and I went to a metal concert, because who doesn’t like metal concerts for lovey holidays?? We’d had to reschedule Gin Mills for it, and Certo even took an extra day off work with their PTO to enjoy the weekend. I’d bought these tickets back in November, basically as a ‘Something fun to look forward to just for us’ cause I’d gotten injured and subsequently got let go from work because I couldn’t… do my job anymore. A well-earned pick-me-up!

So, the reason this was so huge for me in particular is I’ve never been to a metal concert before. And additionally, short of a couple of tiny bands in smaller venues and coffee shops, I had never been to a larger scale concert before in my liiiife. 

The band we went to go see was Sabaton, and when Certo first introduced me to them a couple years ago now, it was with a live, Swedish semi-official recording of ‘Carolus Rex.’ So I was already familiar with their live sound, and of course Carolux Rex turned into a power anthem for me for awhile, and I fell in love. 

Sabaton, for those of you who aren’t familiar, is a Swedish power metal band based out of Falun, Sweden. Power metal is… if you took all of the musical power of melodic and symphonic metal, combined with lyrics you can still understand, in a gruff throaty tone, with historically relevant lyrics, and a broad fucking grin. 

With them being from overseas, being able to go to their North American tour was a big deal for me. I pitched for a VIP table early in case I was still injured when the date came around (I was, I’ll get to that) and we set aside extra funds to be able to afford Seattle-priced food and tour swag. (I then forgot my bank card at home when Certo went to retrieve the car from the overpriced parking garage, and my pre-paid card did not have enough for more than one piece of swag CURSES UPON MY LUCK.) 

We left early from home, had a totally great sunny drive up to Seattle, with plenty of time to find parking nearby for my hobbly ass, and still even made it with some to spare before the doors pre-opened to those for early entry dining. We met a group from Canada in line who had been going to Sabaton’s shows for almost 5 years, and had seen them something like 13 times. So, us as newbies to this show, we absolutely littered them with questions and they told us behind the scenes bits and shared pictures and stories from previous concerts and meet & greets. Sweetest set of parents and their son. I could tell a whole bunch of stories about them alone, but for sake of length, I’ll skip it. Suffice to say, the self appointed Drunk Tour Mom was two drinks in when she declared that even with the table we had reserved, if I could manage through it, I should absolutely try to be at the stage bar for a front-row experience of Sabaton for my first time. I was wary of this, seeing as I’ve got some mobility, but ultimately I’m still pretty crippled on my cane. 

Of course, I was a beer and halfway through a Tennessee mule Certo and I were sharing when I decided this suggestion was a great idea, knee injury be damned! I’d stand as long as I could, suffer the press of the crowd, and do my best to not let my knee affect my concert experience. (I did avoid the mosh pit and crowd surfing this go-round, but lemme tell you if I wasn’t injured…) 

The security guy we had on the other side of the railing was the start to my brilliant experience, tbh. Not only did he sneak me a couple sour gummy bears from his pocket, but he also let us see the night’s schedule on his phone so we knew who was going on when, and gave Certo and I a pair of free earplugs, which normally they’d sell at a venue for $5-10 each. Like this dude was awesome. 

The first two bands I’ll admit I hadn’t heard of before, so I was both wary but excited to see them. Cyhra opened the show, who turned out to have a small set, but have a brilliant sound and be really great. Then Kreator came on. Kreator, who was definitely not what I was expecting (and may not have listened to them on my own,) puts on a HELL of a show after 38 years of being around and had amazing energy on stage! Admittedly, their stage lights were blinding and my eyes hurt after, but I think that’s my only real complaint. I managed to stay at the bar through both setups, Cyhra and Kreator’s sets, and at the end of Kreator’s set I realized my knee was numb and that I absolutely needed to sit and get off it.  

Retreating through the crowd after securing our spot on the rail with one of our new Canadian friends (who were standing with us, because Drunk Tour Mom absolutely wanted to see me experience my first Sabaton concert) I limped through the thick crowd to our table. We had 15, maybe 20 minutes for me to sit before they went on. Metal crowds, by the way? Some of the sweetest people ever. Most moved right out of our way as we scooted through, and those who didn’t immediately made a hole for us after I raised my cane. We got to the table, I ordered a hard cider and massaged the hell out of my leg for the 18 minutes before we felt the mood in the theatre change. Something had happened, and then I realized one of Sabaton’s songs was on the interlude music overhead. This, apparently, was the prelude to the actual intro song, but those with experience in the theatre knew it and I slammed my cider, got up and hobbled my ass right back to the bar. (I relinquished part of my bar experience to let another couple and a tiny person between us and our Canadian friends, they were thrilled.)

Sabaton? Sabaton. Was. AMAZING. The energy, the sound, the experience of them live was literally something I could not have made up with my experiences at the time. Any expectations I’d had were totally blown out of the water. I got to make cheers and interact with the guitarist we were in front of ON STAGE. We got to sing along at the top of our lungs and pump our fists and JUMP. Okay, I admittedly may have been hopping on one leg for most of it but it was close enough. 

They played three of my favourites, INCLUDING a couple of old songs which, you guessed it, included CAROLUS REX. I was absolutely floored. While it would’ve been a complete dream come true for them to have done it in Swedish, they did the English version BUT THAT WAS TOTALLY FINE BECAUSE THEY DID THE SONG ANYWAY AND HADN’T IN SOME TIME ON TOUR. They also performed Swedish Pagans and Resist & Bite, and of their discography, those songs are my absolute top three. (I should mention, Resist & Bite also pairs well with Panzer Battalion & Ghost Division, and they PERFORMED THOSE, TOO. It was like a fucking smorgasbord of my go-to Sabaton songs throughout their albums and they did most of them.)

Throughout the concert, the guitarists tossed picks during the performance which I missed. I couldn’t jump well, and even at almost six feet tall, most of the swag was aimed at the middle of the bar or well into the crowd. So while I was absolutely not going to begrudge not getting stage gifts, I of course was going to try my damnedest! After their set, and they had done the final song and the bow given, the last of the stage swag was thrown. Picks, drumsticks, drum covers, copies of the set list, the whole nine yards. And as luck would have it, the guitarist I’d stood in front of all night (Chris,) sang along with, smiled and cheered at and sang along with, tossed a pick AT me. Right the hell at me. I caught it. I could’ve fainted right then, but GODS I held fast and clung to it with what I can only imagine was the most ridiculously excited smile ever. 

After the crowd milled away and retreated from the venue, Certo ran to go retrieve the car from the parking garage at a very close 11:45. This was important because the garage we’d chosen closed at midnight and implemented a $40 fee after to pick up vehicles. Because it was a concert night, and Sabaton didn’t even go on til after 10, we were prepared to pay it… but really didn’t want to.  I grabbed a shirt  from the tour items booth (a NA tour shirt, even though I really wanted a Carolus Rex tour t-shirt they’d rebooted but had to skip due to realizing I’d left my bank card in my other wallet at home, 90 miles away. I thanked the lady who’d stayed open so I could skip the crowd with my cane, grabbed my shirt, and retreated outside to wait for Certo and the car. 

This, of course, is when I realized it was cold as fuck and raining. Now… I have… Okay tires. One’s got a partial leak, but it’s slow and I’ve got a pump, and they definitely could use some more tread, but it’s served me well so far and it’s on my list of Things to get done once I’m employable again. As we drove home, the roads were freshly rained on after dry weather and covered in fucking hydroplaning nightmares. Then it began to snow through the rain as we trailed further south. Since my car accident due to icy conditions a few years ago, I have lingering high non-functioning anxiety when it comes to severe weather patterns, but Certo is an absolute CHAMPION and got us home safely, powering through the hydroplaning with no small amount of reassuring to me. (While I failed to act totally cool to reassure them, and played games on their phone to distract my nervous whining.) 

Needless to say, from start to finish, it’s been a hell of an adventure, but one that was absolutely worth it. We’d even made it in the corner of their End of Concert picture they take on stage, which was an unexpected joy. To top off what was already possibly one of the best nights I’ve had in awhile, (nay, perhaps my life!)  is after I made a comment on the band’s Facebook page about my first time and how excellent the show was? The page replied back. I don’t care that it could be a social media admin and that the odds it was one of the band was small. I was head over heels over the MOON about it, and it was by far an unreal adventure I’ll never forget.  

A snapshot of what I referenced above: 

(The tiny red circle is where we are, small but important to the experience!)

(The guitar pick thrown by ChrisRörland, one of Sabaton’s guitarist.) 

TL;DR: First metal concert to see Sabaton, catching a guitarist’s pick after standing at the front of the stage all night with a knee injury, hydroplaning sleet on the way home with nearly bald tires, and having the band’s social media page reply to my post directly.  ♥

[broadwaybaggins]

Hi Allison! Here is your Secret Santa present! It’s a modern AU, inspired by “Eloise at Christmastime”– which is, incidentally, my favorite Christmas movie, but I chose it here because I thought it provides a story for our dear Mary/Matthew and your original Downton OTP, Sybil/Tom. Because S/T is actually how I started following you, years ago now!

This is just part 1, an introduction really; the rest will come asap (December really got away from me) but I wanted to have at least a little something ready today. I hope you enjoy it!

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

It was the week before Christmas. Outside, the first dusting of snow had fallen, and inside, the staff were caught up in a whirlwind of preparations. Despite the hotel manager’s meticulous oversight and planning, there was always plenty to do– even before something went wrong, as it always did, and made extra work. That mishap, any time of year, usually could be traced back to the little girl who now stood in the middle of the great hall, watching as porters put up the Christmas tree.

She was examining them carefully, leaning first one way and then the other and then back again. Finally, she decided that the tree tilted just a little to the left, and told the porter so. However, she did not linger to see whether her recommendation was carried out (although it was), instead skipping off to the front desk, where she cut ahead of the line.

“Good morning, Mr. Carson!” she sang out, accompanied by a chorus of clucking from the two elderly ladies she had interrupted. “Are there any messages for me?”

“Yes,” the hotel manager replied solemnly, “–the Royal Ballet has asked you to appear as Clara in their production of The Nutcracker.”

Alice considered a moment, and then sighed dramatically. “I’m afraid I must decline.  I shall be too busy playing Tiny Tim. But perhaps next year.”

He nodded. “Indeed. I must also tell you that Mrs. Patmore has just finished a batch of gingerbread biscuits and needs your taste-testing.”

“That, I can do!” she exclaimed, beaming.

“Now, Miss Alice, I’m afraid I have work to do. But I am sure I will see you later.” He looked to the ladies apologetically.

“Alright, I’m sure you will.”

She headed away, in the direction of the kitchen, but was soon distracted by a girl at the end of the line who was holding a puppy.

“Oh, he’s adorable! What’s his name?”

“Snowball,” the girl replied.

“How darling!” Alice petted the dog, as she kept talking.  “Are you staying at Downton for Christmas? I hope so! It is truly the most wonderful time of year. It’s all decorated, as you see, and there’s the big tree, and there’s so many parties, and when it snows a little more there will be sleigh rides!”

“Yes, my family is staying here,” the girl said. “And yours? Have you been here before?”

“I live here, with my parents and grandparents. My family has always lived here, even before it was turned into a hotel after the war.”

“Oh!”

“It was called Downton Abbey then. Abbey, because monks used to live here a long, long time ago. But then it was the Crawleys, just by themselves. But my mum’s grandfather changed it to the Abbey Hotel, and I’m glad he did!”

The girl nodded.

“Well, maybe I’ll see you again this week! But I have to go now.” Alice kissed the dog’s nose, and then she was off again. On her way to the kitchen, she passed by the sofas in the hall where newly-arrived guests could rest their feet. On one, she noticed, sat a man in a grey trench coat and hat. Only his eyes were visible over the top of his newspaper. That was certainly peculiar; and even more peculiar, when he noticed her looking, he immediately raised his newspaper to hide entirely.

She decided not to investigate further at this very moment– the prospect of fresh-baked biscuits was too overwhelming– but she filed it away to think about later.

Upstairs was a coordinated sort of busy, but downstairs was chaotically so. Alice loved it– especially because Mrs. Patmore, the chef, always had a moment to spare for her (and a sweet treat to try). Everyone had a soft spot for the earl’s little granddaughter– even though some, like the housekeeper Mrs. Hughes, were more reluctant to admit it.

“Mr. Carson said you made gingerbread!”

“I did.” Mrs. Patmore wiped her hands on her apron, and led Alice over to the table, where trays of gingerbread people sat cooling.  

Alice delicately bit off the corner of the gingerbread lady’s skirt, and pronounced it, “Scrumptious!” She reached for another for the road, but the cook intervened.

“Your mother will have my head if I give you two biscuits before breakfast.”

“It’ll be our secret! Pinky promise.” Alice smiled angelically, and truly it was difficult to deny that sweet little face. She had inherited her father’s blue eyes, and her mother’s bright smile.

“Alright, then,” Mrs. Patmore relented, and Alice tucked the second into the pocket of her jumper.

Someone approached behind them. “How fine these look!” he said. “May I?”

Alice turned around, at the familiar voice. “Tom!” she exclaimed. “You’re in the kitchen! Are you helping as a waiter again?”

Tom Branson was one of her particular friends among the Abbey’s staff. He worked as a driver, usually, and they had met when he began driving Alice to school. He was a wonderful storyteller, with his specialty being Irish history.

He nodded. “Mr Carson has drafted me, in anticipation of a special event due to take place on Christmas Eve.”

“Ooh, what’s that?” Alice demanded. She prided herself on knowing all that went on within the Abbey, and she had not heard of anything out-of-the-ordinary on Christmas Eve this year.

Tom shook his head. “It’s still a secret, even to us. You must let me know what you hear.”

“Of course. But wait–” Alice’s brow furrowed. “Does that mean you’re not going home to Ireland?”

“I’ll go that evening, after– and arrive in time for midnight Mass, to Mam’s great relief.”

Alice nodded. “Oh, good.”

“It’s nearly nine o’clock, dear,” Mrs. Patmore informed them. “Your parents have rung for breakfast.”

“I’d better go! Thanks for the biscuits! And I’ll tell you if I find out anything but you must also tell me if you do.”

“You can bet on it.”

And Alice took off running upstairs. She and her parents lived in a suite on the second floor, right next door to her grandparents. Her great-grandmother lived down the hall. There were two other suites there, for guests, and then individual rooms on the upper floors.

Mary and Matthew were still in their dressing gowns, just sitting down to breakfast, when their daughter burst into the apartment and let the door slam behind her. She took her place at the table, where there was a bowl of porridge waiting for her.

“Hello, Al,” Matthew said. “How were the morning rounds?”

“Full of ribbons and holly and jingle bell cheer! I helped them put up the Christmas tree,” Alice reported, “and I saw Tom. He’s being a waiter for something happening on Christmas Eve. Do you know what that is?”

Mary and Matthew exchanged a glance. They did know, for Mary was her father’s second-in-command in all hotel business.

“Ugh.” Alice sighed. “Is it something only for grown-ups?”

“No, you’ll find out soon enough,” Mary promised. “But your Aunt Sybil wants to tell you herself.”

Alice’s eyes grew wide. “Auntie Sybil? She’s coming here? When?”

The family had, for all of Alice’s short life, gone to visit Sybil in America. Alice sometimes had trouble believing that her favorite aunt had grown up at Downton too.

“She’s coming back for good,” Mary said, before suddenly and deftly catching Alice’s hand just as she was about to spill a fourth spoonful of sugar into her porridge and steering the sugar back into its proper bowl. “That is far too much,” she scolded. “Must we have this conversation every morning?”

“We must,” Alice replied, now stirring in a generous serving of cream. “Porridge by itself is yucky.”

“It’s good for you, darling, and I’m afraid some things that are good for you just won’t be terribly pleasant.”

Alice turned pleading eyes to her father, but to no avail.

“Listen to Mummy,” Matthew said. “She always knows.”

And Mary knew then to change the subject. “Aunt Sybil is arriving later this morning. I have some work to do, so will you keep a lookout and meet her for me?”

“Yes!” Alice took one bite of her by now syrupy porridge, before pushing it away. “I just have to feed Dinah and Mrs. Piggle-wiggle first and then I’ll go.” These two were her cat and pet hedgehog.

She slid off the chair, and went round the table to Mary. “Love you, Mummy.” She kissed her mother’s cheek. Next she went to her father, and did the same. “Bye, Daddy.” And then she ran off once more.

“I’ve assigned Tom to drive the Allsops to York,” Mary said, once Alice was out of earshot. “He’ll be gone all day.”

Matthew nodded slowly. “That’s one day. But they must meet eventually.”

“Well, we have one more day to prepare ourselves.” She sighed, before holding out one hand. “Help me up? I ought to get dressed.”

He let out a theatrical sigh as he did so. “Phew!”

“Oh, shut up,” she replied, but fondly, resting a hand on her rounded stomach. “If I’m too heavy, you have only yourself to blame.”

“True, and I’ll gladly take responsibility for that.”

Now it was her turn to sigh. “Ugh, why does Sybil have to be getting married now? We’ve never met the man– what’s the rush? I say wait til spring, so we’ll know this Larry properly, and I’ll have my figure back.”

“Both matters of equal importance,” he teased.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do.” His expression softened, and he put his arms around her and kissed her forehead. “It’ll all sort itself out, I know it.”

“Well, I admire your confidence.” She returned the hug, and then said, “Alright, time to go. Busy day– busy week– ahead of us.”

Oh my goodness, this is beyond cute! I love Eloise, and the best part about this is there’s MORE TO COME! I’m so excited! Thank you so much, my dear!

[limey-blue-arty-do]

since you did one for me, one ღ for Mischief and Majick please :3c (self-ship-nerd)

@self-ship-nerd alright guys it’s fluff time

Who’s the first to wake up in the morning:

my bitch ass because the sun and I have Issues. I’ll end up waking up Prompto through constant shuffling and eventually giving up and getting up

Who’s the one to make breakfast:

it really depends if either of us have any energy or the stuff for making a cooked breakfast. usually it’s just warmed-up leftovers or cereal (or whatever the hotel has on offer)

Who’s the one to serve the other breakfast in bed:

me. granted the circumstances for which they’ll occur vary. three general things need to be in play:

I’m up early and have energy to make said breakfast

Prompto stays in bed long enough

one of us have had a tough previous day

Who would suggest a quickie in the morning before work:

neither, tbh

Who suggests they both ditch work to lay around all day:

Prompto. I’m okay with this, seeing as my ‘work’ is to look after the prince and his entourage, so if the day is spent chilling then my work is still done (with less risk of monsters etc.)

Who chooses the movies:

me. I have good taste and Prompto has learnt I despise all horror films after the ��Shadows Gathering’ incident

Who initiates kissing during the moving, thus distracting the other from the movie all together:

again, oddly enough, neither of us. we watch too much action stuff and the idea of kissing kinda sleeps away. what’s more likely is that we’ll cuddle up to each other and stay like that til the film finishes and we get vaguely confused because ‘wait when did we start cuddling? aw who cares it’s nice’

Who orders lunch:

Prompto. I prefer to curl up at a diner table and wait.

Who steals food from the other’s plate without asking:

hahaahahaha me. I am firstly and foremost a vulture, possibly from the whole ‘magic burns energy’ things. 

Who curls up next to the other and falls asleep due to a full tummy:

Prompto. I get stomach pain and nausea from full stomachs, the lil blonde birdie just gets nap time. I am jealous but cannot be mad because it’s fucking cute

Who distracts the other from trying to work at home:

Prompto. I’m just trying to be a gosh-darn serious Hunter and then he’ll do a cute lil nose-boop or surprise me with a cuddle or just hug me and the whole seriousness will melt no matter how hard I try

Who asks to go get ice cream like a five year old:

both of us because ICE CREAM

Who takes pictures of their partner eating ice cream:

the guy with the camera, of course

Who makes a sexual joke about the dripping ice cream on their partner’s face:

me because puns and jokes are my life blood, and Prompto will immediately start blushing much to my amusement.

Who cooks dinner:

me (whenever it ain’t Ignis).

Who cleans up the kitchen afterwards:

Prompto (he knows the price to pay for cooked food).

Who stays up until 2am reading:

Prompto because I will be asleep a good couple hours before midnight, guard duty or not

Who stares at their partner while their sleeping:

probably Prompto

Who kisses their partner while they sleep:

definitely me

[euphvriiatest]

ERIS CHAOS » DISCORD » STRIFE » UNHARMONIOUS you? when i think of you, i don't feel anything at all / double meaning of words / classic rock music and a bottle of rum you shouldn't be drinking / conspiracy theories / to hell with the rules / a collapsed bottle of wine running the tiles red / a messy wardrobe / where lost souls come out to play /graffiti in the dead of night / screaming until you lose your voice / dangerous words / hell in your eyes / born to be wild / keeping secrets / haphazardly opening drawers /road rage / bitter coffee / crackly radio stations / cigarette smoke / house party when your parents aren't around /sirens blaring in the middle of the night / an askew portrait with eyes that follow you around the room / smells like teen spirit / underground fight clubs / half lidded eyes HEPHAESTUS FIRE » VOLCANOES » FORGES » METALWORKING a bird’s-eye view of a city at night / blueprints / dwelling on the past / standing in silence / the embers at the end of a cigarette / black cup of freshly brewed coffee / the sound of busy traffic pouring into your window / white marbled countertops / stuck in their ways / driving down an empty highway at 3am / unexpected compassion / the dull roar of a fire / barbecues / being personal isn’t professional /being productive at absurd hours of the day / 8 unread messages / masterful precision / everybody has a dark side / firm handshakes / friendly competition / the roar of an engine / soulful execution / running until your lungs burn /business cards / sleep is for the weak APOLLO SUN » MUSIC » POETRY » ARTS 2% phone battery / dragging your friends into crazy schemes / finishing a paper ten minutes before its due /inside jokes / way too loud music / the silent look you give someone when they say something ridiculous / stories told around the campfire / skinny dipping / overloading the washing machine / loud laughter / practical jokes /hanging from a chandelier / feeling restless / larger than life / wind in your hair during a midnight drive / a shelf of music in all forms, from cds, cassettes, to vinyl / being complimented / hand-drawn sketches / wind chimes /partners in crime / wear their hearts on their sleeves /spending all your money on concert tickets / watching the sunrise / surprise parties / filled with bravado DEMETER AGRICULTURE » NOURISHMENT » SEASONS » GROWTH a sunflower field / others before yourself / heart shaped sunglasses / homemade meals and freshly baked bread /natural wood tones / no poker face / smiling until your cheeks hurt / can't help but worry / warm sunlight streaming through the window and onto your bed / longing glances / the familiar laugh of your best friend / love at first sight / having someone play with your hair / messily packed suitcases / a gentle squeeze of the hand / cozy blankets and warm slippers / honey oozing fresh from the comb / unofficial therapist / natural elegance / can’t say goodbye / creature of habit / chamomile tea / handmade get-well-soon cards / sleepy mumbling NIKE VICTORY » CONQUEST » TRIUMPH » SUCCESS first over the finish line / a freshly opened bottle of champagne beginning to fizzle to life / everything has its place / always have a plan / being center stage / feet pounding against the pavement / breaking through the surface / bruised lips / never back down / power running through their veins / facts before fiction / devil’s advocate /protests with purpose / skeptical glances / battle scars /debates / if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen /stubborn as a mule / getting your way / fierce but vulnerable / lets go scale a mountain / low-key superiority complex / can't sit still / glistening skin after morning runs /full of fire POSEIDON THE SEA » EARTHQUAKES » HORSES » STORMS waves crashing against the shore / a necklace erupting into a sea of pearls / quiet, deep conversations with close friends / hand slamming down repeatedly on the snooze button /nothing ventured, nothing gained / rough around the edges / walls that weather storms / what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger / half read books and dog eared pages /cappuccinos with just the right amount of foam / an unfocused camera / beaten up converse / impulsive decisions / a clock that’s stuck in time / I can do it on my own but not always / late night drives / a kiss to the forehead, lingering / rainy days full of introspection and creativity / critical gaze / long-distance phone calls /journals that look messy, but are extremely organized (to you at least) / silver tongue / the glow of your phone at night /lakeside houses and jumping off docks / radio static ARTEMIS MOON » THE HUNT » WILD ANIMALS » YOUTH always looking for new ideas and topics to become obsessed with / butterflies in the pit of your stomach / flea markets / freshly-baked cookies / laying under the stars /secondhand books / we take care of our own / photo albums full to the brim / little notes to self in unexpected places / gazing at the stars / facing your own feelings / a tender, half-second kiss on the lips / your hands in someone else's sleeves / a fresh and untouched snowfall / meteor showers / a wolf howling / believing in fate / gets lost in the moment / calming presence / taking long showers /hidden strengths / random acts of kindness / exploring the woods alone / falling asleep with a book in your hands and headphones in your ears / finding the perfect gift ZEUS SKY » LIGHTNING » JUSTICE » ORDER natural-born cynics / leader of the pack / don't take no for an answer / clenched fists / stickler for rules / thick-skinned / withering putdowns / friends close, enemies closer / chip on your shoulder / the booming sounds of an incoming storm / truth seekers / everything in its place /high and mighty / harsh honesty / crisp winter air /firecracker sparks / the sharp bite of a scalding cup of coffee / darkness of stormy weather / if looks could kill /dark chocolate with just the right amount of bitterness /rush of adrenaline you get when you stand up for something you believe in HYPNOS SLEEP » DAYDREAMS » LACKADAISICAL » HYPNOTIC only having a few close friends / sleeping the morning away / cluttered kitchens / quaint coffee shops / avoiding problems / the glow of a midnight moon / cups of half-finished coffee / bad timing / peace at the top of a ferris wheel / head in the clouds / this book is ridiculous i love it /existential questions / last minute projects / repeating things that have already been said / messily handwritten post-it notes all over the room / looking out over a city at night from a rooftop / clothes left in the washer / music as a form of emotional escape / friends are family / sound of rain hitting the window / breakfast for dinner / always slipping through your fingers / a cat curled up asleep in your lap / obscure little thrift stores that sell leather jackets from the eighties / being energized one moment and tired the next HADES UNDERWORLD » RICHES » DARKNESS » MORTALITY a gate grown weary with new-forming foliage & age / a lighthouse in the distance / alone in the dead of night /breathy voices / silk against your skin / smooth surface of a lake / the silent observer / beautifully discordant minor chords / cracked mirrors / running your fingertips over dusty surfaces / foreheads touching / it’s dark in my imagination / night owls / neck kisses and lipstick stains on collars / uneasy hearts / old world architecture /speakeasies / smudged ink on the side of a hand / lost in a sea of people / longing in the middle of the night /pictureless frames / handprints imprinted onto fogged-up windows / enigmatic / iron & wine / I’d rather die my way than live yours HERA MARRIAGE » CHILDBIRTH » WOMEN » FAMILY a perfectly organized bookshelf / checkmating someone in chess / politeness as a weapon / the calm before the storm / unabashedly calling people out when they say something incorrect and offensive / the heat of a fire / a formal dining room with glasses filled with wine / trust: broken; heart: who knows / takes charge / calligraphy / clothes that fit perfectly as soon as you try them on / coming up with the perfect quip before the other person can even respond /fierceness, but also vulnerability / still wincing when you taste the gin / singing in the shower / sending risqué texts /holding grudges / it’s not what you know, it’s who you know / the warm embrace of a parent / polaroids scattered across a hardwood floor / the whole concept of a nuclear family / one step forward, two steps back / the corner office / fingers laced together / digging your heels in DIONYSUS WINE » THEATRE » MADNESS » ECSTASY a neon sign radiating in the night / fingernails tapping against a desk / fingertips across your skin / ignoring texts / dramatic sighs / party animal / satin on skin / staying out until 5am / the embrace of sin / vodka shots and blurry vision / making people jealous / making a dramatic entrance / in the spotlight / i do what i want / hands on your thighs / full of gossip / fear of missing out / fake it 'til you make it / drunk phone calls / don't take things personal / cutting in line / being pampered / all the world's a stage /bloodshot eyes / sharp tongue IRIS RAINBOWS » MESSENGERS » TRUTH » HERALDRY converse sneakers / sun shining through clouds / cicadas in the trees / crystal collections / dazed & confused /flushed cheeks / adult sleepovers / dancing without a care in the world / bold colors / oversized cardigans / breathless laughter / mismatched socks / discovering new places / i just want to be wonderful / flower crowns / a tie dye t-shirt / hands up someone else's sleeves / blanket forts / dream journals / caught between glancing eyes / hair blowing freely in the wind / freckled shoulders / heartbeat racing /peace signs / impromptu picnics

[sl-walker]

21, 25, 40.

 21. least favorite character to write

Depends on the fandom.  With due South, I can’t say I have a least favorite?  Because I legit love all of them for some reason or another.  Some are harder; I struggle with Kowalski’s voice.  I’m not as good at Bob or Frannie, I can’t write Dewey.  But it’s not a favorite thing, just an Erin-is-their-voice thing. XD

25. favorite line you’ve ever written

Pfft.  Wow, no, it’s impossible to narrow it down to one.  But I do have ones I love, so have some of those.  And they’re really more passages than lines.  And this is not a comprehensive list.

Turnbull stepped closer, shoving down the sick anxiety in his gut. He could summon no satisfaction at Hawthorne taking a small step back. But he dropped his voice to just one note above a whisper, locking gazes with the man: "If you put your hands on him again, I will break every bone in them."

It wasn't an empty threat. He meant every word. - Betrayal, Arch to the Sky

"--here. Since you lost yours saving the Grey."After a moment of staring at it, Scotty carefully took the new penlight. He had reached for his old one countless times since he lost it, and missed it quite a bit when he was trying to work on something in cramped or low-lit places. It had really never left his possession from when it was given to him, to when it slipped from his fingers under the Lady Grey, and despite not really saying anything about it, he had quietly mourned the loss.It was both surprising and not surprising at all that Corry had noticed anyway.He looked it over, not holding onto it too hard for the sake of not marring the new matte black surface with the grease from his hands. Then held it out of his own shadow to read the little letters, etched silver, around the light-end of it."Wolf," he said, and wanted to make a joke about it being puppy, cub or mutt, but he couldn't quite make himself speak much more past the constricted feeling in his chest."In case you find yourself in the dark." Corry managed to keep a fairly steady note. "At least you won't be there alone."  - On the Nature of Wind, Arc of the Wolf

"Abigail Hanson," Corry replied, not looking away from her."Really?" Scotty had to look again. He remembered Corry had once pointed her out as one of Rachel's friends, years ago now, but it had been at a distance. Though, he remembered her looking a lot more fragile then than she looked now. "Followed her father?""Kinda. He was a marine, she's shore patrol. Her Dad still lives here, but...""But ye haven't gotten the nerve up to ask her out?"Corry managed to tear his attention away from Abigail long enough to give his best friend an irritated look. "I'm working on it, I'm working on it!""Right." Scotty got to his feet, and was thoroughly amused at the horrified look Cor gave him. He didn't even make it two steps, though, before Corry had gotten up and dragged him back. "What? I was just gonna ask if she wanted some coffee," he said, innocently, though he didn't put up a fight. That might end with him in a headlock."I'll ask her out, I swear. But gimme a little time, okay?"There was enough sincerity in the exasperated plea. After a few seconds of pretending to think about it, Scotty let Corry off the hook and sat back down. But he still found it kind of funny that Corry watched her all the way until she was out the door again. There was something about the whole thing that felt like hope.And for a moment, he was aware of the before, and the now, and in a way that was almost wonderful, something down the road that was only an impression. But a good one.Maybe even a great one.It didn't last long, but it lasted long enough. - Bookends, Arc of the Wolf

--okay, pretty much the entire story Thunder from the Arc of the Wolf.

Honestly, I could probably quote something from every single story in that because it’s about the closest thing I’ve ever have to a magnum opus.  I’ll be telling it the rest of my life, I think.

"No domestics tonight," Corporal Chase said, leaning against the counter.

Turnbull held his tea close to his chest; the steam curling up off of it felt good on his face, even as it threatened to make his eyes sting again. "That's... good, sir."

Chase nodded, then fell silent for long seconds, looking over the otherwise empty detachment building under the harsh fluorescent lights. Then he looked over, eyebrows up. "Good tea?"

"Yes, sir." Turnbull barely thought to taste it, but it wasn't off-putting. Severn had, indeed, saved him quite a bit of it as well. He was not so sure what to make of that kindness right now. "Thank you for bringing it back."

He could feel that scrutiny when it landed on him again; for the first time in a very long time, he felt like flinching under it. He knew that Chase would not ask. Still, he sometimes wondered -- worried -- just how much the Corporal knew and could see.

He buried himself in a sip of the tea, and prayed that he was not so transparent that the battering he felt was visible. For all of the literal bruises he had worn in his life, none were more humiliating than the invisible ones he was wearing now.

"I'll pick up another box next time I'm down there," Chase finally said, as though he had come to a decision, and then stood up straight, heading for the door. "Stay safe out there tonight, Turnbull." - River, Arch to the Sky

"No, sir. You see, they will repaint my cruiser in that ridiculous rainbow scheme they came up with only after they forcibly, bodily remove me from her frame."

Mike Chase snorted a sip of coffee up his nose, then turned away and almost choked to death on it, and even then he couldn't quit laughing.

Turnbull shot him a startled look, Russ rolled his eyes in long-suffering frustration, and Mike held his free hand up, waving 'no, keep going, this is comedy gold!' - Caprice, Arch to the Sky

Ray was a hustler. He could hide the lump in his throat, hide the ache in his chest, convince people that he was someone that he wasn't.

"I'll miss you," she said to him, the last night he was in Chicago, the last night he was allowed to be home, when it finally became clear that none of them could talk him out of it.

"Here," Ray said, giving her the box. "Don't open it 'til I'm gone, though, okay?"

In the sunlight coming through the windows of the plane the next day, Ray wrapped the memory of his little three-year-old sister holding a marble around a million others, in some place where not even a hustler like him could reach. Somewhere it would be safe. - Hustler, Arch to the Sky

"I am in love with you."

Turnbull said it quite clearly, reaching up to adjust the rearview mirror so that he could see Ray's expression. He didn't even bother to be sly about it. No more of this. This was ridiculous; one way or another, he was risking heartbreak. He might as well risk it with his chin up and his boots on, metaphorically speaking.

Ray's perfect composure didn't crack, so much as bleed a little. A faint hitch in his breath. He steadfastly didn't look up meet that gaze in the mirror. There was something besides blankness in eyes reflecting pale green and gold sunlight, though Turnbull could not quite read what. Perhaps fear. Which spoke for both of them, but damned if he would quit now.

"I cannot give you any precise time when I realized this. I suppose that, in a sense, it crept up on me. I can tell you for certain that it was only a few days ago that I had finally managed to make myself speak the words aloud, though I venture I have felt something for you for longer than I have been willing to admit, even to myself." Turnbull kept his eyes on that mirror. He felt wired to move right now, and it wasn't to run away.

Ray finally spoke, in a rush, "I didn't mean--"

"I realize that." Rarely did Turnbull interrupt someone without remorse. "I realize that you would reiterate what you had said last night: That you expected nothing, nor wanted anything of me. I realize you had not anticipated this. However, I will not allow you to continue blaming yourself for it, as though you had somehow seduced me into falling in love with you."

He definitely had Ray's attention now; those eyes finally caught his in the mirror, and that expression was more definably fear now. It ached, fiercely, right in his chest. Then Ray shook his head, a manic little motion, and looked away. "Ren..."

"No, Ray. Look at me." The words were firm, and Ray did look back up, even though he quite clearly had to fight himself to do it. "I am here because I chose to be. I would be a liar if I said that I didn't struggle against the notion for quite some time, but that wasn't because you were somehow unworthy of that loyalty or love."

Turnbull could see the protest start up, and shook his head to cut it off. He didn't think for a moment that Ray would believe those words, but they needed to be said, and he was determined to finish. "That was my own fear, on any number of levels. You are correct; that is, I don't see you as a time-bomb, someone to pity or someone to watch fall apart at the seams. I see you as someone who hurts, who I love, and to paraphrase what you said to me: I'm not going anywhere." - Any Way Up, Arch to the Sky

Legitimately the entire story Half a Teal Deer in Midnight Blue.  It’s Mike at his comedic, deadpan best.

Catherine Marie Johannsen, Constable in the RCMP, was a proud feminist.She approved of her former FTO's pick in fiancees; Cindy Mason was a tiny thing, but she had a quick grin and sharp eyes. She wasn't the least bit demure. She was established in a career, and Mike was absolutely smitten with her. Cath had gotten an earful of chatter when Mike called her to invite her to his wedding; he couldn't stop talking about her.Naturally, Cath was quick to agree to attend the wedding, but what she was going to wear was a little more difficult.After the introductions were past, after the greeting and the hugging and the restaurant wrangling, they ended up all going to dinner together and that was when Cathy successfully managed to get Mike to snort water up his nose and spend three or four minutes coughing, waving his hands in the air like a teenage cheerleader slap fight with only one participant.How she did it was surprisingly simple: "Hey, did you ever tell Cindy about that time I got into your pants?" - Cherry Red, Midnight Blue

Turnbull looked up at him, wide-eyed. Desperation. Destruction. It was, by far, the most emotionally raw expression Mike had ever seen on Turnbull's face, and it clawed through his own chest.

"I'm sorry," Turnbull said, plaintive and pleading, begging for something only he could ever know through chattering teeth. "I'm sorry."

When Russ showed up, God only knew how long later, Turnbull had sobbed himself half-senseless into Mike's shoulder, and Mike was still holding onto him, shushing and patting on his back and trying desperately to figure out how to pick up the pieces to put them back together, and cutting himself on every one. - Snow, Midnight Blue

He had always threatened, jokingly, that they would get his cruiser when they pried her from his cold, dead fingers. Over his dead body. Them and what army. Because he had gotten 414 new, and with her came one of the warmest, happiest times of his life. He fell in love with Cindy. He fell in love with Nipawin. He built friendships. He hunted and fished and curled and played hockey sometimes, and he planned cookouts and he restored a house. He got his ninth rook. He patrolled afternoons and sometimes days and sometimes midnights; he responded to hundreds and hundreds of calls, rescued people, arrested people, lived eight hours or more a day sitting in this seat, drove thousands upon thousands of kilometers, maintaining the right, for years.

He knew, of course, that it wasn't permanent. But he thought he'd maybe arrange to buy this cruiser when time ran out. Fanciful, idealistic thoughts; he could keep 414 forever. Maybe sans police equipment, but still. He'd thought that before everything happened; could picture Russ goodnaturedly rolling his eyes, and Cindy smiling her knowing, head-shaking smile, and Turnbull would definitely understand. Mitch and Sandy would never stop teasing him about keeping his mistress and his wife on the same property. And he would keep his old cruiser; the Mountie with his favorite steed, even if he had to put her out to pasture.

In the end, he didn't. Didn't have the money, didn't have the strength. It was another goodbye, in a long string of goodbyes, and Mike felt each and every one, with every heartbeat.

When he came into work tomorrow, she would be gone.

No one would ever call for him with bravo four-fourteen again.

Mike put his hands on the bottom of the steering wheel, and the bridge of his nose to the top. There weren't enough tears for the losses; not in him, not even in the rain.

But he gave what he had, anyway. - B414, Midnight Blue

40. which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series

Toss up between Midnight Blue and Arc of the Wolf, both of which would make amazing animated series.  But I totally get to handle the voice casting. XD

[feralauthor]

My Christmas Wish

It was Christmas Eve, and as always I’d had a lovely evening celebrating with my family. Relatives had gathered, food was eaten, gifts from those we wouldn’t see first thing in the morning had been opened, and as always I played Santa and distributed presents since no one else would wear the hat. A good time was had by all, and as the evening wound down everyone began heading to bed to rest and await the next morning.

Except for me.

I had ‘gone to bed’ as the others had, but only as a ruse. As the clock approached 11:30pm, I collected something that I’d kept hidden from my family; a box wrapped in a long white braided cord. I then snuck as quietly as I could through the darkened house, making my way to and out the front door with my parcel as noiselessly as I could. I hadn’t told anyone about this scheme of mine, primarily because I was fully aware how silly, absurd, and desperate it was. But I was a silly and absurd person at the best of times, and recently I had become truly desperate.

The night air was calm and invitingly cool; never a white Christmas in Florida. As I stepped out into the yard I did still come to regret not putting on shoes, as the walkway and grass were littered with acorns and pine needles which bit into my soles. I could go back inside for shoes, but time was short. I had to be ready by midnight. I painfully made my way across the yard to sit at the base of the single largest tree on the property. Legs crossed, I sat the box on my lap and began untying the cord which sealed it shut. I’d made this cord myself, braided from 3 strands of white yarn, representing the past, present, and future intertwined. I had gotten the idea from Shinto; they had a practice of tying similar ropes around sacred objects and places to keep bad spirits out and allow the good spirits contained within to flourish. I wanted as much good energy inside this box as possible.

I removed the cord and tied it around my left wrist so as to not lose it in the darkness. Before opening the box I pulled out my phone to check the time; midnight was approaching. I left the clock app open and placed the phone on the ground before me to keep an eye on the time and to serve as a light source. Then I opened the box.

The first of many things contained within was a paper envelope which had previously been opened, holding a letter which had already been read. In spite of this, I gingerly picked up the envelope and removed the letter, to read it once more. It was a letter she had written me from her deathbed. It had been over a month since we’d lost her. The cancer never even gave her a chance to fight, within a month of her diagnosis she had passed. Something that would always stick with me was what she told our friend group right after telling us the news; she made us promise her to take care of ourselves like we were taking care of her. In spite of her own impending tragedy, her first thoughts were for us. Because that’s the special and wonderful kind of person she is. The letter was one she had written to me, wherein she told me how positive an influence I’d been on her life and asking me to allow myself to be selfish from time to time. To not let my giving nature become harmful to myself. I’d kept my promises to her, I’d been taking care of myself and making sure our friends did the same. Our circle was a family that she had built, and none of us wanted to ever let that fall apart. But it was so hard; we missed her so much, our meetings and functions felt hollow. We wanted to carry on with her in our hearts, we knew she was watching over us, but things weren’t the same and the adjustment was still hard for all of us. And so I formed a plan. Well, more of a really dumb idea that had no actual chance of accomplishing anything. Throughout the process of losing her, the thing I had the hardest time grappling with was that nothing could be done to save her. That there was nothing I could have done to save her. Despite all my prayers, all my bargaining and pleading, there was a nagging drive that told me there had to be something that could fix this. And so I decided to keep my promise; I would allow myself to be selfish and formed a plan of action that would at least symbolically represent my attempt to do something to save her. And I decided that the magic needed to do it would be most plentiful at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve.

As I finished rereading the letter, careful not to let any of my tears stain the paper of this precious item, I placed it back in the envelope and tucked it into the corner of the box. I then started removing other items from the box. Contained within was every trinket and replica from my collection of nerdy bullshit related to wish granting or time travel. A metal Triforce, a Gate of Time necklace, an Eye of Agamotto, a Core Drill, a Kamen Rider Zi-O Ridewatch, etc. All these objects bound together and stored within the cord sealed box, kept next to every item I had related to her. Photos, gifts, a newspaper article about her, all together to try to build up as much magic over the past month as possible and tie all the power objects to her. And buried at the very bottom was the crown jewel of my collection; a set of crystal replica Dragon Balls. Was I completely insane for keeping all of these things together? Yes. Was I even more insane for insinuating that I could somehow use this hodgepodge of fiction and delusions combined with the power of Christmas to bring her back? Absolutely. Was I going to try anyway? You bet your ass I was. I even wrote a letter to Santa about it, because if you’re gonna go completely bonkers from grief you might as well go all the way. I checked the clock, only a few minutes left til midnight. I bound all the power items together in my left hand with the Ridewatch at the center. It was the only thing with an actual activation button so it was going to serve as the trigger, and so I kept my thumb near said button. I used my right hand to rotate the watch face into activation position, and then I reached it down to hold over the Dragon Balls at the bottom of the box. I took a deep breath before speaking my wishes aloud. “I wish for her to not have died...I wish to travel back in time to a point where I can warn her and save her life...I wish for all of us to be able to see her again...” I knew this shouldn’t work. These were toys and I was insane. But due to the irresponsible amount of media I consumed, my brain couldn’t not imagine scenarios where I could have warned her years beforehand or where I had the power to cure her. This insane idea had kept me going for the past month, given me something to work towards. I even figured I’d play it safe and use one of the wishes just to be able to see her again if nothing else was possible, to ask how she was on the other side and know she’s ok. I knew if when I pushed that button that nothing happened, I would have to confront the reality that I had no power, no ability to stop this, and have to find something else to work towards. But...as long as I was here...no harm in trying? Less than a minute til midnight. Left hand still on the watch button, I raised my right hand from the box and grabbed the cross that hung around my neck, the same cross I had used to pray over her the day she passed. I prayed again, asking God to give me some way to make a change, for some miracle to happen, to help me move forwards. As the seconds ticked down I kept my grip tight, and as the clock read one second to midnight I closed my eyes.

And pressed the button. The toy watch played its electronic jingle as it always did...and I felt nothing. Eyes still pressed shut, I couldn’t detect anything having changed. No gust of wind, no unexpected sounds, no shift in the light that I could detect through my eyelids. No indicator that I’d been granted cosmic power or been hurled through time. And so I sat. Unmoving, eyes still closed, not sure for how long, as slow tears started trickling from my eyes. We all missed her, unfathomably. I knew she wasn’t gone, I’d had days where I could feel she had sent me a sign or was smiling at me. But this was something that should never have happened, she was too young, there had to be something that could stop or rewind this tragedy. Except apparently not. Here I sat in my sleep clothes, under a tree in the moonlight, clutching representations of fictional objects in a vain attempt to grasp power and fix a problem that couldn’t be solved. Perhaps I would just have to spend the rest of my life trying to catch glimpses of her in my dreams. “Hello friend.” I dropped everything from my hands as I heard her speak. But had I really heard it or just imagined it? The grieving mind can play cruel tricks, but I’d honestly thought I’d heard her voice with my ears. I kept crying; whereas before I hadn’t opened my eyes for grief now I was terrified. What if I opened them and I’d only imagined it? What was that going to do to me? I sat and cried, time becoming warped and liminal. Some logical part of my brain eventually shouted loudly that I had to open my eyes eventually, I couldn’t stay out here all night. So I took as deep a breath I could through my sobbing face, turned my face forwards, and pried open my tear drenched eyes. In that moment I couldn’t perceive any details from my surroundings. I may as well have been in an endless void for all I could recognize, I couldn’t say where I was or when I was. All I could percieve...was her. Standing a few yards away, exactly as I remembered her. She was looking right at me, smiling with stars in her eyes. I stood and ran, stopping just short of running right into her and freezing before her in a combination of awe and fear. Was this real? Had she been brought here or had I been sent back? Was this before she knew me, before she was comfortable hugging me? What should I do? She answered that question for me by wrapping her arms around me and giving me the biggest hug she could. I quickly returned the favor, hugging her tightly and crying into her shoulder. In that moment I didn’t know the exact nature of this gift. I didn’t know if she had been brought back, if I’d been transported through time, or if this was a short visit from her spirit. I was incredibly scared to find out the truth to that question, but I was also grateful. Whatever this was that had happened, I knew it was a gift and a miracle. One I would be thankful for for the rest of my life. So I hugged my friend, and I took comfort in knowing for certain that she was still here, and that the connection we and all our friends had formed was one that could never be broken and would last...

...for forever and beyond.

[heyligaya]

Am I really entering “Late 20′s”?

The staggering twenty six as I call it.

Here i am, just finished cleaning out the dishes and thinking

“wait, am I really in my LATE 20′s?”

Suddenly, i had trouble accepting that thought.

I spent most of my birthdays with friends or at work but today, I decided to NOT DO ANYTHING. I even scheduled the articles I was supposed to finish reading for school instead of thinking what to prepare. I did enjoy my last few years looking forward to having a great day with people but I just really wanted this day to be WITH MAHZELF! you feel? :P 

I mean, it’s a step forward to being A FULL BLOWN ADULT. It’s not the same when you turn 18. At this age, the feeling of being able to drive, buy R-18 horror movies, drink alcohol and stay out of the house til midnight is perhaps a little less monumental since you don’t have a benchmark to look forward to. The most exciting thing you’ve probably have ever done is buy a complete set of pens and post-it’s and try making non-sense reminder just to feel the first paper strip its pad. Amirite? 

So, I started writing this after I finished my duties at home and there isn’t any more adulting than that right there.

Thinking about it now, honestly, I didn’t expect reaching this prime. Due to some personal struggles, I really thought that I will NOT celebrate another birthday. Im not claiming anything but you can think whatever it is I am trying to say. That’s something I want you to hold. Not much of a surprise to many but I really am still contemplating the fact that I am still ALIVE right now and I can’t believe how much I’ve grown. So Im going to try my best to atleast pick out the things I’ve grasped through the years. I'm usually fairly cynical of blog posts which are written on an advisory basis, especially when they come from my own head.... I'm fairly certain that I'm as clueless as the next person. I do hope I can make proper points here and there.

I don’t look 26

I’ve been told I look like I’m in my early 20’s (20 – 22), even with makeup. And it doesn’t help that I’m 5’0. To this day I still get asked if I’m breaking curfew.

Getting rid of toxic people is awesome.

A year ago I said bye bye to toxic people in my life: flat out stopped responding to negativity and cut ties with them. I’ve never been happier!

I need my daily alone time

Over the past year, I’ve learned that I need some alone time to really get my creative juices flowing. No offense to my loved ones, but being with people all time time can be draining. Do you ever feel like this?

Wellness is really important

If you want to feel good you need to take care of you before taking care of anyone else. Last year was so crazy I think I developed a few eating disorders BUT im all good now, BUT STILL, being in that situation will make you realize how important it is to take good care of yourself. 

Early twenties are uncomfortable, emotionally and financially

I’ve learned how to buy stuff that I can afford without using credit but with the money I saved and can hold. This kept me out of debt. Im just happy I have financially good friends who teaches me how to use, hold and take money. 

Success feels hard

There is a quote bandied about a lot in start up circles - "you have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable."  Whilst I find some of these motivational quotes pretty trite and some downright untrue, I do feel that there is something in the sentiment here. Being uncomfortable keeps you hungry for more and stops you becoming complacent. The act of trying something is perhaps success in itself, regardless of the outcome.

Your priorities change with age

I remember being 16 and having a hard time thinking how can my allowance fit my everyday habitual coffee drinks + my phone case addiction. I will not eat for 2 days just so I can afford those shoes I saw at the mall the other day. Not to mention to think about those cheesy monthsary gifts you put out there and be tagged as THE BEST COUPLE EVER.

Jul aged 25 cares about quite a lot of different things - her partner is now a 6 year old beagle dog, her friends, her MA in all of its varied forms, local politics, getting that scratch out of her car from a mini accident at the parking, my data plan, and the emergency money you hide for an EMERGENCY urge to file a membership for anytime fitness (yup, I upgraded).

Whilst the list exercise above is slightly reductive, I think its a fair observation that the things you want/ have to spend your time on change throughout every stage of life.

I have also found myself valuing my time a lot more, which has resulted in my choosing to spend it only on things I actively want to do. Alongside being more efficient, this has also made me a lot happier, as my policy of not doing things I don't want to do has massively cut down the the time I spend on things that make me resentful. I still do the dishes though... some things you can't escape!

Trust your gut, with exceptions

Overall the whole going with your gut thing works quite well - in my case anyway.

However there have been occasions where my gut has said "YES!" but my head has gone "wait, let's take a second to think about this." 

I have ignored this on a couple of occasions in the past, only to be faced with quite a big, fact based, objection once the initial emotional response has worn off. Basically what I'm trying to say is that whilst emotions fade, rational and objective thoughts generally hold up.

People move forward in their own paces

While people get married and start a family by now, I manage to pursue my MA even this late which shows how people move forward in their own steps of paces. Doesn’t mean you’re not having the same thoughts as what your 26 year-old friends are having, means you’re being left out. It’s just that you are moving forward the way you know how, I think that is even braver. Being able to achieve something and be somewhere by yourself, with your own decision is also considered as making the leap of faith.

TRUST GOD

Whether you’re 26 or 96. Your faith must never wander. Whether you’ve improved or not, gained or lost, challenged or won, struggling or pursuing, always hold on to what God has promised you. Pray when you’re having a hard time and pray when you’re grateful. 25 for me was one heck of a year and Im just happy to be alive. That’s all. Breathing, typing, thinking.. LIVING. So, Thank you, Lord. You’ve done a great job teaching me yet again. How amazing You are. 

Take your time but don’t waste your time. 

[adrian4point0h]

Monday February, 12

3:51 am Good morning, I didn’t post Saturday because I believe… I don’t remember what I did lol… Sunday morning I spent for what felt like forever trying to get the drone to connect and update to fly it. Nothing spectacular in the flying department because I’m in a neighborhood. I did manage to tape my phone on to the drone to take some pictures… lol. From there I got ready for church. Afterwards, I went to tricities because I was craving burgers from zippers. Worth it. At the time I was thinking of another location to shoot some epic pics… I had heard about badger mountain so I googled it and checked it out. Boy, after 45 minutes of “I hope I’m almost there” I made it to the top, or what seemed like the top. As I was coming down I realized that the whole trail loop lol. By that time though, I just wanted to get off the mountain to be in the comfort of my car. To top it off, I wasnt wearing the right shoes to hike. I got home and I went straight to editing my pics for the rest of the day til 5:30pm. I went to bed and woke up today at midnight, hit the gym and now I’m here at sharis having had breakfast and analyzing my weekend. I’ve become a different person in a short amount of time. Yet, I know that I want to be light years ahead-not behind where I can feel like me and be the best version of my myself. It sounds cheesy but I’m starting to “get it now”. I got to go home and finish my video editing and post my other blog posts and get back on track. 4:07 

6:30am Sunday’s blog

Sunday February 10, 2018

Weather: cold, a bit windy

7:00am I had a weird dream-and scary last night. At one point I was confronting my brother about the “thing” I haven’t wrote about. then, flash forward to playing some three on three basketball where the opposing team, the “captain, became frustrated with one of his own players and I believe, he gave up on him and ended up switching teams, even though we were wearing different team jerseys… There was more of the dream in-between, actually at one point I was with two other guys around my age. I was sitting between them as we were passing through a narrow curvy road that had a steep drop. At that point-which was at the beginning of me dreaming, I said or implied that we should be careful because it was a death drop if we were to accidentally veer of the road. Before I woke up, somehow I was with these two same individuals on the same road. This time, we were driving in the night. The first turn we came to, an oncoming vehicle almost hit the driver side of the car as we drove through one of the dangerous (steep drop) curves. The next one we came to, I don’t know why, but I feel that the driver got cocky and tried drifting the turn. We literally slid off(goosebumps as I’m typing) like in the old cartoons where they stay in mid air for what like seems like forever..In the instant I realized what was going on, I looked down and saw the drop, I froze and realized at that point, “Oh shit, I’m going to die! no!” during the time we slid off and were in the air, for a split second, I wanted to do what they do in cartoons and pull the vehicle back in, but it hit me that this was “for real”. I woke up at that point and it all seemed so surreal. It was around 7 pm when I woke up. I fell back asleep until 4 and I’ve been flying the drone trying to get some morning sunrise pics. But yeah, lol, weird stuff…7:16pm

6:43am Saturdays blog

Saturday February 10, 2018 4:22 am Just got home, I had breakfast at Shari's-spinach omelette😘 to die for. I did an hour of workout. I noticed that in general all of the guys in general hit the weights hard. Nothing against them, but because they perhaps want size and results, they focus too much on main muscles and not the smaller ones. Just a thought, I understand everybody has different goals. I did the big tire flip and the push cart.. MAANN, the push cart almost made me throw up lol...from 0 to 💯!!! So, I had to literally stop the work out and get myself back together. No sauna today due to the fact that the glass door shattered. Hopefully they fix it soon. It really adds to the entirety of the work out. Abs tomorrow. She's off limits, I feel it, "her" ...it's like when you see a construction zone full of signs of "who, what, Where, why". She slips into my mind and when I "feel like trying" I am met with that image in mind... almost like a no cross zone you know.im typing in my car because it gets my mind to express what it explores. 4:33am

No time frame (10 am) Picked up my friends camera to try and see if it had a time-lapse option...but it didn't...I wanted it for my video vlogs. Oh well...I tested the camera and it shoots fairly well. I don’t know if its social media, but the pics seem to lower in resolution for some reason...it might be just me. I barely was able to make it through the day because I did not sleep much or very well last night. I was in bed by 4.30?...maybe five. No time frame