#that blissful hour i slept 🙃

[bunnyb34r]

Can my brain stop fucking forgetting where I put things???

It's been like a month since I last saw my meds that I REALLY NEED but I don't want to waste a refill and be short a month. I finally was able to refill it for Dec/Jan and god I cannot wait to not be in agony anymore. Like I have been praying, crying, thrashing (that's more a physical symptom of nerve pain), wanting to scream, losing sleep, FOR WEEKS.

I cannot fucking remember what I did with it. It's just a blank. I have a visual memory and can remember specific shit accurately (as accurately as memories as a whole are) BUT NOT THIS

I now have lost my ipod touch... my beloved 🥺 that's where my stories are (that I wrote), that's where my music is, where my games are (okay like 3 games now that ios is updating and god forbid we get another ipt). That's where my pictures of Bean are, and I need them to post reruns on his account to keep it active sgdgdggdgd That's another story

Anyway I lost it when I changed my sheets and it's not downstairs in the laundry (shook out the blankets). It's not behind the bed, not around it, not in my usual spot. BUT most importantly... I cannot fucking even conjure up a vague memory of when I last saw it. 😠 at all. Like my meds it's in my room SOMEWHERE

And ofc bc I have been off my nerve medicine for a full month, I am so fucking drained that I don't have energy to fucking deep clean and look for these things better/more

I'm so fucking sick of this shit

[chaoticbardlady99]

Sheep Thrills (Astarion x GN! Reader)

Synopsis: You and Astarion are often up to nothing good on your rest days. Shortly after the tiefling party, the group decides to hunt down Auntie Ethel in an attempt to rid the Sword Coast of the Hag.

When the group decides to send two people to scout a head- You and Astarion are far too keen to volunteer your time. You have your own research to conduct.

CW: Nothing really besides references to sex(?), just kind of fun and cute

Words: 1.6k

Photo belongs to idk who so please reach out if it’s yours!

Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated! I am just terrible at responding 🙃

The sun holds itself proudly up in the sky and there is a nice breeze in the air. You and Astarion are perched up on one of the higher rock formations that peers down on the Sheep munching at the grass along the river. You have been staring at them for far too long, but the two of you are convinced that something is not right with these sheep.

You had both been absolutely fascinated with the damn things ever since you walked by them to get to Kagha’s note. When you and Astarion graciously agreed to look for the Hag’s house- all of your companions were suspicious.

They should be.

You found the Hag’s home and quickly began trying to unravel the secrets of the swamp instead of going back to camp. You’ve been out here for at least three more hours than you told them you would be.

It’s been a semi-uncomfortable, fun, and muggy three hours- you’ve called Astarion a primadonna a couple times and he’s called you a stubborn bull a few more, but overall it’s going very well after you take a sip of water and he gets a few blissful moments from your wrist. Unquenchable thirst and stake outs never mix.

Something has to be up. The sheep sound unnatural. You both think the sheep will reveal whatever their secret is eventually, but they will not budge.

You’ve offered them snacks, pets, kind words, a generous amount of “BAAs” in return- Astarion even jumped around the corner and scared one of the damn things and yet you are both just as stumped as you had been 3 hours ago.

Unfortunately for these poor sheep, you are a very stubborn Warlock with a nose for shenanigans and have befriended a rogue who encourages (and enables) your thirst for chaos. Neither one of you is willing to walk away until an answer presents itself.

“Maybe- hey get that look off your face-,” You whisper and gently push him as he gives you an unamused look, “I think I figured it out!”

“Your last guess was that the sheep were all going mad from Giardia, my Sweet,” he smirks, “I don’t think Giardia is the direct cause for their baaa-ing sound being so bizarre.”

You feel your face burn up from the pet name and you look away, clearing your throat.

“Yes, I admit that I goofed your Magistrateliness- I said a silly, unforgivable thing,” you say with crocodile tears, “but I think we are overcomplicating this whole thing.”

Astarion raises one his eyebrows at you, “is that so? Please enlighten me, my Dear fearless Knight.”

You roll your eyes so hard you think they may fall out- you are the least knightley person you know. Astarion snorts at your cross eyedness when you finally look at him again with your theatrical unamused smile. Your tadpole wriggles behind your eyes before a fleeting warmth goes through your body and you see your own face through Astarion’s eyes.

Silly and beautiful.

Happiness.

You pinch yourself- willing the tadpole to stop intruding on Astarion’s thoughts and feelings. Although those sentiments make you very very happy- you will not push the matter. Astarion can take it at his pace- he’s been under a shitty, abusive vampire lord for 200 years and he deserves the respect. You only slept together a few days ago anyway- you can be patient.

“Why don’t we just shoot one of the sheep?” You ponder, “if it’s a spell, it will break and then we’ll know they aren’t really sheep. If they are sheep, then we have sheep for dinner!”

Astarion snorts, “really? You’d eat the potentially Giardia ridden sheep? I wish I could say I expected more from you, Darling.”

You glare at him and his cheeky grin. You look away with a pout and feel a cold pair of lips kiss your cheek. Your heart beat picks up.

“I’m only teasing, Darling,” he whispers into your ear, “I maybe only expected slightly better of you.”

“You- Mister Magistrate- are very very mean.”

“I never said I was nice,” he says with a shit eating grin, “well- I’m nice where it counts at least.”

It takes you a second and then you realize what he is saying. He certainly isn’t wrong, but it doesn’t make the blush running up your face any less embarrassing or the way you feel yourself clench around nothing at the thought.

Astarion looks far too pleased with himself and your body’s giddiness in response. You try to change the subject before your words give you away as much as your body already has.

“Do you want to shoot the sheep or should I?”

He scoffs, “I can’t believe that’s even a question. I’m obviously going to be shooting the mangy, river diseased sheep.”

“I should have never said the Giardia thing,” you mutter under your breath.

“No,” he grins, “you really shouldn’t have.”

You watch as he gets his crossbow set up, his delicate hands work assuredly. You follow the flexing of his arms as they work to get the bolt in and get lost in the valleys of concentration on his face. It’s stupid how beautiful he is.

The sound of the arrow whizzing through the air, the loud guttural shriek from the sheep, and the putrid smell of bog water fills your senses all at once.

“Shit.”

You look down and see exactly what Astarion is referring to- the sheep are Redcaps. Of course they are Redcaps! How did you not think of that!? Their beady eyes are looking high and low- one is actually crying over it’s fallen companion which makes you feel like a bit of a dick.

“Aw man,” you whisper, “now I feel like a jerk. We didn’t even give them a fair chance.”

“Life isn’t fair, my Dear,” Astarion whispers matter-of-factly, “which is why we should spend less time empathizing with the things and more time getting out of here.”

You both sneak around to find a pathway that will allow you to waltz away from your mishap before you are overrun by Redcaps. Astarion taps your knee and gestures to a path that will allow you both to get away undetected. You are so grateful you learned how to sneak around like a rogue in your urchin years because oh boy- it was not an easy path to navigate in a full squat.

You both begin running as soon as you are out of the Fey creatures’ vision and you begin to laugh as you come to a halt. It’s a wild laugh filled with adrenaline. It feels so good to be alive.

Astarion stops ahead of you and tries to gesture to be quiet, but it was too late- Wyll was already standing there and looking at both of you like he’s your disappointed mother.

“Three hours!?” Wyll exclaims, “it took you three hours to find one Hag’s house!? The Swamp isn’t even that big!”

“Actually,” you state with fake confidence, “we found out quite a lot of helpful information today.”

“For example,” Astarion quips, “the sheep are infected with Giardia.”

“So help me Gods Astarion!,” you say with a huff before turning back to Wyll, “the Sheep are red caps.”

Wyll was significantly less annoyed after you revealed that information and grumbled about how that is actually helpful information before storming off. You turn to Astarion with a cheeky smile on your face.

“Ha- shows him!” You say with pride, “did you hear that? HELPFUL!”

Astarion rolls his eyes at you, but you can tell he is equally as thrilled as you are.

“I’m still saddened by how little he trusts us to get anything done,” Astarion says with feign hurt, “whatever will I do if our local Knight in Shining Armor is so irritated with me that he won’t come to my aid?”

You know the question is hypothetical, rhetorical even, but you leap up onto the nearest boulder and look upon him- your right hand in a fist over your chest.

“Magistrate- Administer of Bog Laws and entertainer of Sheep Thrills- I pledge my sword to thee! Ye shall never know neglect at the hands of a Knight ever again!”

“Hmmm, but I feel rather neglected by you, my Dear.”

You frown and feel worry fill your body. You hop off the rock and walk over quickly. Astarion looks surprised to see how seriously you have taken his words.

“What did I do? Or I suppose what do I need to d-“

Astarion cups your face with his hands and interrupts your rambling with a chaste kiss. He pulls back and throws his head back in laughter at your flustered expression.

“I-“ you clear your throat, “I must apologize- I did not realize such services were wanted! I shall erectify my mistake starting now!”

“Erectify?” Astarion snorts, “don’t you mean rectify?”

“Oh no,” you smile mischievously, “I know exactly what I said.”

“You are the biggest weirdo I have ever met,” Astarion states affectionately, “you do know that, don’t you?”

“Good! It means I’m not replaceable.”

“Oh Darling, you are anything but,” Astarion presses a soft kiss to your forehead, “you will come to my bed tonight, won’t you?”

“Of course- shall I come to you in the cover of the night,” you tease, “or should I attempt an insane series of parkour moves to avoid being seen?”

“Oh good Gods,” Astarion shakes his head, the smile on his face betraying his attempt at exasperation, “how about this instead-”

You raise your eyebrow at him with confusion and Astarion gestures for you to walk forward. As the two of you turn to camp, you suppress the urge to squeal like a schoolgirl when he intertwines your hand in his as you walk back together.