#so i figured yall should know
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a dear visitor
heavily based off the max kurzweil painting of the same name :) i like to imagine arthur bullied kieran into bringing his horse over while he was covering from the o'driscolls incident. while grimshaw wasnt looking, of course
(reblogs>likes!)
#my art#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#charles smith#kieran duffy#i kind of dont like this my artstyle is bothering me again#but ive been chipping away at it for 2 days and i want to do other things so here lol#charles is so fucking hard to draw without reference i know he barely looks like himself but i was going mad redrawing him over and over#i really should draw him more. maybe yall will see more of him while i figure out wtf he looks like
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Headless Headmistress Bloodgood redesign!
I've been wanting to redesign her for a while, in a way that would marry the aspects from each of her designs that I like. I'm pretty happy with how she turned out!
At some point I would like to design some more Monster High teachers and staff, because no matter what gen, that school is struggling.
#monster high#monster high fanart#headless headmistress bloodgood#nora bloodgood#monster high redesign#i feel like i should have drawn her with her head off but i quite frankly couldn't be bothered#no way in hell im drawing that damn horse either#anyway you guys know that fairytale about the girl who has to wear a ribbon around her neck otherwise her head falls off and she dies?#i think that's bloodgoods mother#ive seen that story called so many things im not sure what the official name is#the velevet ribbon? the green ribbon? the red ribbon? idk#my first exposure to that story was through the wolf among us <--great game#i wanna design a vice principal but figuring out a good monster type is hard so if yall have any suggestions im open to them#also...ive looked at this drawing on three different screens and the colors look different on each one#im on my macbook right now and i think it looks the best#id in alt#my art#sabz art
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[id in alt]
some idw redraws
#i spent way too long trying to figure out sonic's quills#monotoneart#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#silver the hedgehog#sonic idw#ive read the first 2 volumes of idw so far. theyre such a delight :]#i do kinda rant below about my 2 sticking points so far (specifically about team dark in the metal virus arc) so uh. sorry#omega not caring about shadow when he gets zombotted kinda bugs me ngl#like bro that's ur teammate yall did so much together do u not care abt any of that.#sega give omega more personality than just ''kill eggman robots''#and the way the others talk about shadow and say ''oh he doesnt care im surprised he cares''#...well sonic says that and i... guess shadow could come off that way to him. ehhhhh.#i would think sonic would understand his deal though.#''oh more people saved means less zombots to deal with'' what!! it's more than that!!!#guy made a promise to protect the planet!!! that would include the people!!!#more people saved means just that: more people saved!!!#he's a ''the means justify the ends'' kinda character but that don't mean he's heartless#rouge girl u should know better!! you're like one of the only people he talks to relatively regularly!!#takes a deep breath. ok im good now. everything else about idw so far is cool. i love whisper n tangle.#cant wait to finally get to surge and kit#OH YEAH ALSO i watched wild robot and it was so extremely good. i cried <3
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Quarrel
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#I had a Sunday dedicated to beating my old score of 116 in Big Run AND I DID!! I GOT 130!! IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF YALL!! I WAS LITERALLY OBSE#DRIVEN BY NOTHING BUT PURE GRIT (And also one cracked 5% homie to twinlance with). I'm just very happy I beat my old score lol.#Anyway that's wholly unrelated to this but I figure you should know and this is everyone's reward for reading this far hahahaaha#This is part 2 to 'Missing'. I hope you enjoyyyy <3#moomers#hasahasa#mayamaya#splatoonOC#splatoon3#fancomics
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*glances at svsss' vol 4 worth of extras, aka 'the whump and smut pile'* you haven't seen anything yet
You guys are seriously taking an axe to my self-control;;; I'm trying to make this series last longer than a single month!! I'm trying to savour things!!! I'm trying to read something else and give the series a bit of breathing room before I pick up the last book but I want the "whump and smut pile" I want that so much I feel like a dog that's getting a treat waved in front of its face .·´¯`(;´д`)´¯`·.
#svsss already had a bunch of whump! i wasn't expecting that! it was a really really nice treat#honestly i am going to need to find fics that delve into the whole blood parasite thing cause yall holy shit#that's fucked and i'm very into it#anyway you CAN'T just tell me that the biggest book in the (already whumpy) series is the “whump and smut pile” without destroying me a bit#i've almost finished all mxtx books and what am i supposed to do after that?#i've read the main story for mdzs / tgcf / and now svsss#all i have left are the extras - i've intentionally not read the extras for any of the series yet because i figured i would get to a point#where i'd finished the main series and would want to have something to return to#but that's three books AT MOST because most of the extras aren't a full book#i'm so close to being done them and i don't want this ;;^;;#i'm going to have to seriously start thinking about which danmei/xianxia book to read next because i'm really enjoying this genre#i have a few options i haven't touched yet because i've been busy with mxtx's books... maybe i should do a poll and see what people think#since i don't really know much about the genre or the other books out there or what's good.... hm....#bene speaks
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Figured I should keep track of the dates here, so the men have reference.
Today is the:
25th of JANUARY, 1847.
There are 55 days remaining until first sunrise on the spring equinox in March.
#terror rp#//ooc so we can keep track of what the current date in game / in rp is#//ooc I have a little thin thread of concept grasping in my head about the times so I figured I should post something to keep yall#//ooc in the know as well so we can be consistent!!#//ooc I'll update it whenever shit shifts#//ooc coz sometimes big rps take place on one day#//ooc like. the long threads
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This might sound attention seeking so I'm sorry if it does, it is not my intention, I am just looking for a distraction.
Since my anxiety is actively trying to kill me, I'd really appreciate some asks or something
The more bizarre the question, the better, but I'll take things for my wips or ocs
Just anything to distract me from the fact I feel rather miserable lately
*i get sappy in the tags*
#i have been absolutely going through it for a long ass time now#and i sincerely appreciate everyone who has stayed and supported me/my work#i am so awful at really expressing it but i do not know where i would be without the support im getting from some of yall#yall are so patient with me even though i am constantly complaining and just avoiding working on certain wips because im stuck#im having a health problem that is making me seriously reconsider if i should go back to school in january#and its added a layer of stress to the already stressful process of enrolling in college#i have so many things i still need to get done for going back soon but my health may end up not allowing me to go back in january#its absolutely terrifying still not having a definite on whats going to happen come the new year#and its made engaging on here difficult#its made writing difficult#its made honestly just existing difficult but that i can cope with#i really appreciate everyone that has stopped by and taken time to hang out on my blog with me#it really does mean so much to me and i really wish i could get these personal things figured out sooner#so i can give back to yall for what youve done for me#certified snootles moment
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As I lay here happy, content and sleepy, covered in a warm comforter, clutching one of my heavy pillows tight to my chest, listening to the blinds gently bump into one another stirred into movement by the cool night air coming in through the open window I allow myself to remember.
I remember the first couple times we met. The young Hispanic girl that was overly shy but so pretty to me. I remember how she made me feel and how hard I tried to hide it so that I could seem cool. I remember how much of a fool I was.
I remember some of our earlier fights, how stubborn and hard headed I was, how i could have easily changed so many things, how o could have and should have been better, for her, for me and for the both of us. I remember letting go and how truly sad and alone I felt.
I remember regaining contact and the rush of pure joy i had felt, how even talking to her hundreds of miles away lifted my spirits. How she could infuriate me so much and yet il never get enough of her. I remember how much I need her and in so many different ways.
I remember a recent trip back home where I got to see her, me standing at my hotel room window eagerly watching for her smile to appear along with her stepping out of her car. I remember making fun of her for her food choice as I ordered Chinese delivery for us and ice cream, laughing as she spilled cookies and cream ice cream on the sheets while watching some movie I can't remember.
I remember how I hoped she couldn't tell how fast my heart was beating, and how I couldn't look her in the eye because I never knew if that whole "your pupils get larger when you stare at something you like" idea was true. My pupils must have been huge... I remember her skin brushing against mine, her taste filling my head and making every cell in my body sing, her teeth eagerly bruising me and how much more i wanted and how I slept so soundly that night.
I remember how much I enjoyed breakfast with her the morning after and how just genuinely nice it was to be able to just be with her. She said the waitress was extra nice to me but I didn't notice, all I could see was her. I remember how we finally had to say goodbye how hard it was to see her driving off toward her home and how empty that rental car felt. I remember the song playing that I must have restated about 5 or 6 times and how hard it was to move again. It felt like I was trying to move my body but it had the weight of solid steel.
And I remember how happy i was to get her text that she had made it home safe and sound and how she was already planning out next fateful meeting. I dont think she knows that when i dont get responses from her i get anxious, or how i have alarms set that let me know shes on lunch or off work so that i can hear her talk about her day or even just sit and listen to silence on the phone with her. As long as its her. Theres so much to remember and I'm so so sleepy. Some of it is painful. Most of it isn't. But either way I already can't wait to text her good morning. To ask her how she slept.
I know I'm rambling. I told you all i would. It feels nice though. Like I'm watching a movie back in my head. One where I dont know how it ends yet.
#i know its alot#it feels like a lot#but its important to me#this blog is just as much a journal as it is someplace to express my kinks#maybe i should seperate the two?#so yall dont have to deal with the whiplash from swapping between the two?#maybe...#i figured out how to hide my ramblings so you dont all have to deal with it too. so thats cool#goodnight people who live in my phone#sweet dreams#sleep good!#sleepy needy bunny#bunny thoughts
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my mental state or whatever is so bad these days i genuinely started thinking that my purpose in life is literally just to kill myself lmfaoo 😭
#like what kind of a 'purpose' is that bro 😭 thats not a purpose. thats not the point of a life lmaooo#but like genuinely the only thing i think abt nowadays is when i should kms. im like wondering which day would be the best and most#convenient for everyone skjfgsjkf like. thats not normal#and see my thing is (i am ranting now teehee) so my thing is. i dont understand why i cant just talk abt this to my family or anyone#like i DONT want to talk about it i would chew my arm off first rather than talk about it. but. like i should lmfao.#like if i told them hey yall i dont want to live and i dont really want to die either but i feel like thats my only option etc they would#want to help me. if i told them hey can yall just sit down with me and help me figure this out they would!!!#but the thing is i dont want to lol. i dont want to. and i dont know why that is#dear diary ass post. okay thats all <3 just thinking out loud and everything <3#zsófi rambles
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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Guys I missed the countdown by 7 minutes can we redo it?
#would anyone believe me if i said i was distracted by wrestling cable around a piece of wood#i got the best shower thought to pull my amp so it faces into my room instead of into the corner#just rotating it#and the fuckening cable was stuck under a wooden art project (like a canvas) and i had a sbahj moment trying to figure out...#...which side of the canvas the majority of the cable was on#i know where the cable is connected to the wall but i didnt know how far along i pushed it along the wall#ughhhhshdjdossb#rip my back but im determined to go into the new year playing guitar#so can we redo it now 14 minutes later? bc i cant explain the configuration of my room#ShitPost.exe#OBLIGATORY: 'DISCLAIMER: i'M HI (HIGH)' TAG#wait i need more minutes i think i gotta tune to C please hold idk what tune this band does#firmly grasp the moment. go back to 2359 and hold the moment for me ill hit unpuase when im good and ready#edit: unpause i was being dramatic its only drop D but i found the keyboard riff so ill learn that on guitar instead#WE'LL START FROM FIVE... 4... 3.. 2.. fuckyou#dundundununundundjndunnizndnndndjsn#listen up yall#edit 2: i wasn't being dramatic lmao the song i was planning on in the shower was actually C#but i changed my mind when i sat down bc i couldnt remember which song (ive had the playlist on repeat most of today#so fuck my life back to tuning ig#its okay tho i fiddled around on the midnight in my heart#wow can i say anything without innuendo#edit 3: oh thank god its drop c not c lmao still maybe i should prank future cori by leaving my guitar in drop c for the next time i play#gonna pull it out like 'holy shit whats wrong with this thang' (i would not lol i tune it every time)#but ill remember this moment and shake my fist at past cori bc theres nothing future cori can do to stop present cori#can u tell im procrastinating lol. my amp made a funny sound when i turned it on and its not nearly old enough to need warming up yet#fuck i mean i need time to warm up too but like . fuck lol.
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this tweet singlehandedly made me go on a gender spiral for 5 days straight that ended with me deciding that i want a binder
#i want to experiment with my gender expression methinks#I don’t think I want top surgery but sometimes I would rather die than have boobs. you get it#so like. the solution is a binder…. a flat chest that I can just turn off and on whenever i want OOOOOOOH#also i spent so long trying to figure out if im a femme or masc or somewhere in between bc i felt like i had to label myself but#i think futch kinda encapsulates it#bc i like dressing fem most of the time but sometimes i want to present or feel masculine#it’s also somewhat hard knowing i would only be able to do it at college and not at home#but 🤔 what can i do#just had a realization im putting all this shit on blast to 4000 ppl ermmm#when i should be posting sims 4 contntjrjejskekdjdn#WE WILL RETURN SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as soon as i go hope im cracking my laptop open i can feel it brewing#*home damn it’s 1am yall#*personal
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lil more effort for day 13 bc im in a drawing mood (for now.)
#aradia august#my art#i need more ppl to like. understand how few pose refs there are for fat ppl#if you draw fat ppl you have to get SO GOOD at adding fat in after figuring out a pose and its so fucking hard ok#its hard and no one understands. bc no ones fucking drawing fat ppl#i see yall. i see you and your skinny skinny drawings. and im judging you#if you send me a link to some like. fat ref album or smthn im stealing smthn out of ur house thats ntot he point#i have the refs. i know where to look. it would just be NICE if it was EASIER#i should probs delete these tags but u kno what im not gonna
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y'all ready for a lore drop I rambled at my friends for two hours this afternoon about eidolon gan's descent into his villain era and I only edited it a little for tumblr
#just a Wall of Text with as many breaks as I could reasonably fit in there for my own attention span's sake klasjd#my gan is so specific to my decade+ long story development with him I should kasjdlkasj figure out how to give context without like. waitin#for my happy ass to do a comic that's never gonna get done lol#I decided I want the comic to be fun and pressureless so I think I'm gonna just Share Story without worrying about spoilers#yall already know what happens anyway you've met him aklsjdaskl
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I want to grab your tiny face in my hands, look you in the eyes, and say I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER, LET ME CARE ABOUT YOU ON PURPOSE
but instead, this is the internet and there is no eye contact, so I am just going to be weird about it and make you go away forever
#people like me more when i interact with them in person#i striggle trying to figure out like what I should say and what I shouldnt say to people online#its very easy for me to put people off wanting to talk to me#i genuinely dont mean to come off so strong online#it happens so much that i KNOW it has something im doing but I cant seem to stop doing whatever it is 😭#in person people tend to come on strong to ME cause i guess me being relaxed and direct and honest is like a breath of fresh air for people#but online most people talk to me a little then vacate the premises asap#ah well#thanks to those that have stuck around#yall the true heroes
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Laying out a conspiracy board with pictures and string but it's just me trying to figure out which of my friends would like being friends with each other
#okay so avery and rose r already tumblr mutuals so they basically know each other intimately#and treya and tucker obviously get on bc they were both former coworkers and they seemed to like each other#avery and james r already buddies who lived together#paul gets on with basically everybody but he's and i do mean this affectionately A Lot#but hes also A Lot in the same way I am A Lot#Ryn and Paul were friends in high school i could reconnect them#james and paul would probably get on. ryn and james would either adore each other or be like cats being introduced for the first time#like all my high schools friends all at least kind of knew each other but idk how many of them still talk to each other#and then theres the college friends and (new!) theres the previous job friends#treya and rose would probably get on like a house on fire they both like a good time and are massive weeb#(also both straight girls with almost entirely queer friend groups lol)#if any of yall are reading this yes i AM trying to figure out who would make a good roleplaying group#hmm. i think avery would like both sami and aj and vice versa#fuck i should just get my own place and throw a housewarming party#and then spend the entire party in a little panopticon ive constructed from cardboard#and see who Does and Doesnt Vibe lol#also sami and lexie im gonna steal ian as one of my friends too im stealing him#i like his goofy blonde ass lol
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