#so i dont wanna be there so then id have to go to his place but itll just be his sister and grandma
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puppyeared · 1 month ago
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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liquidstar · 8 months ago
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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ladyimaginarium · 8 months ago
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i swear to g-d im& not even the jealous type but jfc i HAAAAAAATE this feeling when im& just lowkey like. who's :)))))) this :))))) bitch 👀👀👀👀🔪🔪🔪🔪 :))))))
#arcana.vents#& its like. kinda irrational bc we're just friends & just vibing & we're not even together but like. i cant help it so fuck me ig lmao#like obvi he can have friends & shit & w/e so im not gonna like. tell him anything bc i dont wanna like push him away or push anything yk??#& he said he missed me & everything but like. damn. why arent you talking to me like that. i wish you would talk to me like that.#i miss you too & i wish you would tell me you loved me more :<#im just like bitch chill he aint even your man. but he's sweet & good to me & he's deadass one of the funniest ppl ever.#& we have literally so much in common & he said i was a miracle & resilient since birth & that sb should make a documentary about me ehehe.#& we're both autistic poc4poc & have a lotta solidarity between our communities & he makes me blush & giggle & i love his curls & his smile#& the color of his skin's so pretty & he said that it'd be neat if we just. played videogames in a pillowfort#& he makes spongebob refs & he likes anime & horror & buffy & ethel cain nicole dollanganger & lana del rey & he got a nasty ass vocabulary#& he said it'd be cool if we explored abandoned places together & go to concerts together & he has the cutest name ive deadass ever heard#when nicole said ''when i see you i cant find the words to speak my cheeks go as red as two big cherries'' & ''you're so cool''... YEAH.#im gonna start fuckin chewing on the fuckin walls dude. im GNAWING at the bars of my cage. i need him to firmly grasp it.#i wanna feed him the world's sweetest strawberry!!!!#we have lost the entire fucking plot besties lmfaoooo#& i rarely if ever feel like this for cis dudes & my mind is blaring sirens like he gonna leave me im just. getting war flashbacks to. yeah#the red sirens be blaring like HE'S GONNA ABANDON ME!!!!! its so irritating#ill be goddamned if i EVER feel replaced to that degree ever again. id actually rather get hit by a car & throw myself into the sea lmao#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BPD SPLITTING I HATE YOU#this was from a few hours ago but i forgot to post it so lmao
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hecksupremechips · 8 months ago
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Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of
#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit#i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it#very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically#some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like#AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE#and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to#and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded#it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me#i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me#and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him#away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt#feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like#aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family#hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs#his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage#and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them#HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM#and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is#but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK#and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way#or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he#doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’#yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
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domesticated-whores · 22 days ago
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choked so hard swallowing my drink down the wrong way that I almost puked and I'm still kinda nauseous hours later, so lol. also, friend (the mutual work friend of me and my man that actually hangs out with him outside of work) witnessed and started saying something about how some people choke on things like that bad enough that it kinda spooks them from drinking and they get dehydrated out of paranoia (no idea if that's true, sounds fake but whatever, he's one of those people yk?) and my dumb ass, full of autism and pure thoughts only, said "damn, if that were a problem I wouldn't be able to put nothing in my mouth, my gag reflex is shit 😞😞" which has probably made it's way to my man. because I'm stupid and was really woozy from coughing til I almost vomited and totally didn't think of what I was saying.
#doesnt help that a few days ago we were all hanging out smoking#and i dont get high easy with others evidently but they all have MAJOR tolerance and experience and im baby#so i feel pretty mellow and dazed pretty quick when we do anything despite them all feeling almost nothing#(even though my man is very quick to tell me when something isnt even strong so idk what everyone else ive smoked with is smoking)#(because i hardly get the slightest bit chill from it any time i smoke with anyone else usually)#(but i digress)#and so i was higher than i mayhaps should have been from what i had because again hella baby#but i heard friend say *SOMETHING* that 100% had my name and i think had the word “head” in it#in like a whisper to my man who was sitting on the couch between us#and i was like “okay im feeling kinda dazed and shit and i have hearing issues and hes very much talking so i cant hear--”#“--so i shouldnt make assumptions on what he said because im probably REALLY mishearing what i did hear lol”#but then my man kinda glanced at me and made a noise (an almost laugh??) and said “nah not yet” quiet but not as much as a whisper as friend#so i do lowk wonder if i heard right lol#and if i did thats a whole other story#because pooki cmon#babygirl get real#i sleep over there not infrequently and we cuddle hella intertwined and kiss and all#ive told him that im stupid as fuck and have anxiety so i need things EXTRA communicated with me#ive hinted at kink#ive told him that i trust him fully not to force me to do anything that i dont wanna do and that as long as hell take no for an answer--#--id have no issue with him telling me what to do more often because i again trust him and would say no if i really didnt want to#(in nonsexual situations like him asking if i wanted to go run an errend with him or wait for him at his place and such)#that i was hoping hed be more confident in making a move by now#but im acespec and in zero rush because sex is take it or leave it to me#id do it for him and i really do want to but its so not a need or even much of a craving#but i might bring it up eventually if he doesnt because he is so sweet and cute and i think he just doesnt wanna assume#because he had to be told that its okay to kiss me and that he can and should talk to me at work like a normal person#so i deadass think he just doesnt want to force me into anything but is also bad at communicating so he doesnt really ask either#its just funny that i think they were talking about me giving head a few days ago and i choked and said something stupid today tho#whores lovesick musings
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cryptidapprentice · 3 months ago
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ugh
#cryptic ramblings#in the tags#every gd time i think/talk abt my celebrity crush i feel like i sound like some creepy stalker fan 😭😭#but very genuinely my crush is like. 'we dont have class together but i think youre cute and seem interesting. id like to get to know you-#'-would you like to go out sometime?'#like i keep comparing it to anime bc thts the main place i see it happen tbh (esp bc im usually a friends-first kinda person w crushes)#like in my mind im like 'based on what ive seen i think we could be pretty compatible personality-wise!!'#n then i pull back n im like dude. i sound like a stalker or smthn idk#i just wanna know what the guy's like when hes not On for the cameras yk?? (and again my brain goes 'thats some stalker shit')#(but its also like. im not going out of my way to find things abt him?? like im not tryna look up where hes living rn or anything like that#(all i know abt him is the stuff ive heard him talk abt in the (v few)#interviews ive seen of his)#so id like to THINK im not a stalker#but it feels like the fact that this celebrity crush is essentially just 'a crush that so happens to be on a celebrity' makes me seem so...#parasocial?? like Actually?? but also im not like. under the assumption that like. we're bonded or connected or whatever#plus like. i myself am a performer/actor just by no means in any way as professional as him (but id LOVE to be a professional ykwim??)#so im kinda like 'oh we're peers but at different points in our careers' on some level (but i also know THATS kinda nothing...)#ugh idk idk ive just been thinking abt it a lot n i wanted to get that off my chest lol#i would not mind thoughts n opinions on the matter in my dms 👀 i just feel sooo 😖😖😖 and anyways ive been on my lunch break too long#post over
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celestialmancer · 5 months ago
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⛈️ ❌ ❌ ❌ // 2:09 am, tbd ;
#this is a fucking vent so just gnore the venty ass tags but i have nowhere else to place this that feels safe other than just.#shouting into a void where no one hears. aka here ig.#bc its better i shout into a void alone than drag others down with me somehow—i dont. know#regardless… i’m just… i dont know what to think.#things are really bad lately & i’m struggling again to stop myself from sh utting down every time i try being vulnerable & opening up.#i keep clamming up & letting my mind take the reins when it tells me to just erase anything i say. to not open up.#to swallow every single emotion & experience that’s hurting me & let that poison kill me slowly instead. deal with it alone#because it feels like its wrong to open up. like its wrong to say anything. like me being open is just.#me being a fucking burden or something. i don’t know. i shouldn’t be like this. i’m supposed to be fucking better than t his.#what the fuck happened to the version of myself that could just keep suppressing & suppressing & not being a goddamn thorn in ppl’s sides.#esp bc all the things i’m having a difficult / painful time with is all fucking trigger heavy shit or things that i just don’t.#fucking know what to do with anymore because its not shit within my control.#a lot of it’s shit im still just processing that has hurt a lot & havingg to cope w that grief alone.#but then there’s also other circumtances too that are hard to navigate & my BPD having a field day w me in recent history too#i don’t know what the fuck is wrong w me at this point. & im scared & i can’t stand being fucking alone in this shit yet.#i feel like i have to. i have to. i have to. beccause this is my own issue & to dare express anything is me just. using ppl isn’t it.#that’s all it is right. & besides how many times has it been proven that ppl get sick of me for not being okay.#how many times have ppl walked away because they realize im just some fucking deadweight emotionally or something. id on’t fucking know.#am i spiraling? who fucking knows! maybe! because im fucking tired of what my life has been in general & im. overwhelmed.#overwhelmed by existence itself i fucking guess & what its meant for me overwhelmed by expectations overwhelmed by vulnerability thats just.#bleeding out through the fucking cracks of this fucking mess of a person i am.#& constantly fucking afraid that im just. too much. too much. too much for anyone.#too emotional in fucking general too intense too overwhelming for others regardless if its overwhelming them via pos or neg emotions.#afraid im going to get discarded afraid of what’s to come afraid in fucking general. fear & grief & pain & rage & hatred &.#desperation to feel anything other than this & desperation to feel loved thats got me having rly foul compulsions too#all my emotions feel like some kind of fuckihng hairtrigger & its hard to stop it in fucking general. i dont fucking know. & like i said it.#feels like shit to deal with completely alone. not bc i wanna deal with alone but bc i /have/ to bc if i dont then im just. a problem. or.#i dont know. im tired of everything tired of my emotions tired of this life tired of all that ive had to face up til this point & tired of.#fear & idk how to handle things alone anymore. my friends deserve better than this emotional burden i am to be around ig.#it feels so much like i have to apologize to those i befriend for being. well. this. for all of me & for being ‘too much’ in general.
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berrymeter · 1 year ago
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idk im just so sad & miserable all the time & it really feels like i cant do anything about it. going outside wouldnt fix me. it wouldnt help bc all the problems are constant & At Home & wont go away anytime soon. i dont even get to keep any of the furniture ive held dear. bit by bit every piece of furniture ive had & cherished has been thrown away without my consent bc "my mother's house" so she gets to decide what we get rid of. im so fucking sad im always fucking sad & powerless. idk man.
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puppyeared · 10 months ago
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is this your card? ♦️♣️♥️♠️ it isnt but you dont wanna hurt his feelings
#this was supposed to be a warmup but i got carried away.... i havent drawn in so long that its been hard to focus orz#im testing a new brush for fun. again.. i think i can use this for clean lineart..?? im surprised i went as long as i did with the#narinder brush honestly... but i wanna try something new so here we are again#if i could get my shit together id love to draw a model of his van because i have smth really cool in mind..i was looking at pictures#of old wooden caravans like the horse drawn ones and i wonder if i could combine that with the shape of an RV#i like the ones with a door at the rear bc it kinda lookslike a train caboose.. maybe he'd get someone to weld him a custom ride!!#idk how intricate and detailed i can design it without making it a pain in the ass to draw every time BUT i have a general idea#it would probably have a door on the side but idk if itd flip down to make a stage or upwards to make a roof?? and then theres a#curtain behind it where he would come out and do his show methinks.. ive been looking at pictures of camping vans on pinterest for ideas#i dont think he LIVES in the van since i mentioned his home is an old run down theatre when he isnt on the road. i wanna draw that too#but the RV should have enough for long travels like a bed and cabinets..? maybe a net hanging on the ceiling where all his props go#id like to think of ideas for a hometown.. toronto has a huge entertainment district so it would make sense for him to live there#although id also love to base parts of it from vancouver since id love to go back and visit </3#..would there be furth names for those places?? nyancouver... clawronto... whinnypeg (like a horse whinny)...#pawson creek.... purrlington... otterwa.. i love coming up with names lol#my art#myart#my oc#oc#sleight#laikas comet oc#fan character#fur#furry art
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be-good-to-bugs · 1 year ago
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i need to draw more or my brain will explode. i was going to draw a bunch yesterday but instead i played power wash simulator for 8 1/2 hours
#the bin#i bought it yesterday morning and it was a mistake bc now all i wanna do is play the game#my body hurts from not moving and doing the same repetitive motion with my arm for 8 hours#8 1/2 hours is how long im scheduled for work. its an hour more than i actually spend doing work bc of breaks.#im gonna try to draw today tho. i still felt sick so i didnt go into work again. i hope theyre not mad but i also dont care. not like they#can fire me bc they dont have anyone to replace me woth and they need me. my prev managers wpuldnt have cared much but#one of the new ones sucks. i want put of this job. it shoukd not be these employees responsibilities to figure out what product#needs pit out and what doesnt (menaing like. we need more of this product bc people are buying it) thats supposed to be the managers job but#hes not doing his job. hes micromanaging. its supposed to be like assembly line type work but they move people around for no reason#and get upset when theyre slow bc they just had to chnage jobs. even im having to go faster even though im fully doing enough#theyre pushing the pricers to go faster and put mor eout which means theres more for me to put out on each cart so it takes me 10-12 insteda#of 5-10 and like. its physically impossible for a person to complete one of these carts with such a variety of objects in 5 minutes#its just not possible. its expactations for how itd work if everything went in the same aslienbut its all split aross a ton of them#i didnt get the job i interviewed for i tjink bc of the time available i gave them bc the person was clearly interested in hiring me#i said i could do any timw but she asked what id prefer. i saw on her paper that she wrote it not as id do any so the fact i can do anytime#prob got forgotten. well#im gonna apply some places today. id like something different very soon. everyone is stressed and working there has quickly become much#worse than before. i think a lot of people are gonna leave bc of this new managers. its a stressful job by nature and he makes it muchw orse
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whorelaud · 1 month ago
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꒦꒷ 𓈒 𓈒 𓈒 hushed fantasies ¡
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pairing brother's best friend¡nicholas chavez x fem¡reader
summary thinking you were messaging your friend, you accidentally sent your brother's best friend a thirsty paragraph about him, with Nicholas opening it before you get a chance to delete it. what you were not expecting was the leading conversation, causing realization to wash over you as he hints your desire is not one-sided after all.
contains suggestive, sexual tension, a bit of dirty talking, a brief kiss, flustered reader, cocky nic, hes also very freaky (uhh???)
a/n this is the silliest thing ive ever written i was giggling the whole time while writing it. likes and reblogs are v much appreciated!!!
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You: the amount of self control i have is insane because why do i not have this mans dick in my mouth rn please i need nic so fucking bad its not even funny anymore he is everything i want in life id let him use me any day morning afternoon n night im available ugh i dont even get the ick when its him he was acting like a dad earlier yelling at us to grill the meat right and it was so adorable ill call you daddy u want me to call u sir i dont kink shame im down for whatever king omg stop he got hurt earlier and he GROANED???? i almost fell to my knees YAHOOO he definitely whimpers #needthat 10/10 i just know its thick ooh tip pink shade #d97e77 thats insane till my knees are bruised and my throats scratched my panties fell tears are rolling down my thighs OMG PLS can you feel my pain hes so bodangshis how does my brother look at him and not wanna fuck him id be all over him if that was my friend gahhhd!!! hes actually so sweet he kept speaking to me earlier so i dont feel left out of the conversation and i find that adorable do u think he slaps it before he cums oh my his girlfriends so lucky im ab to put her in a headlock ahaha this is gross no man should have this much of an impact on u unless their dick is big and the sex is absolutely amazing yooo what he probably knows how to please a lady id be hard if i had a dick rn STOPP he has a happy trail im gonna lose it hahah lets find out where it leads i dont wanna think ab that im going crazy literally pulling my hair out that should be u baby GIVE ME A CHANCE?!!!! thinking ab him makes me so nervous this is getting a little too srs ahaha okay im sorry hows life?!? i miss u :(
Sending that message, you were anything but expecting the response you got in return, not from the man himself, that’s for sure.
nic: oh?
nic: i think you got the wrong person
You audibly gasp, realization washing over you as you read over the message. That was, in fact, not for Nicholas, nor was it for anyone but your friend to see.
You panic, putting your phone down to process what happened, needing a moment before responding. Right, you needed to do that.
But why did he see it so fast? He didn't even give you time to comprehend your message, the text switching to read in an instant.
Hell, it was midnight, and it’s been a long, tiring day for the both of you, having been out the whole afternoon, merely to come back to the hotel and spend more time with your other friends.
Everyone decided to end the night off early; early being a bit before midnight, with you heading to your room afterwards. Your brother and his best friend shared the room taking place next to yours, making it easy to reach out to him.
And for that, you were grateful since Nicholas was with him; meaning you got to see more of him throughout this trip.
You’ve had a crush on Nicholas for god knows how long, with it starting the moment your brother befriended him. You’ve technically gone through all the phases he experienced, hell, you saw him more than your own parents.
He was sweet, a little too sweet, perhaps it bothered you. Nicholas was very known among women, he knew how to attract a lady, showering her with praises until he eventually got what he wanted.
That made you extremely jealous, knowing you couldn't have him. He was forbidden, off-limits, someone you could only admire from afar.
And that stupid crush of yours led to this conversation, one you didn't want to discuss.
You: i didnt mean to send that to you
The text switched from delivered to read right away, causing your breath to catch in your throat.
nic: clearly
nic: i dont have a gf btw
Why did he feel the need to clarify that, and why were you relieved over hearing it?
You buried your face in your pillow, feeling heat reduce from your body. You’ve never been this embarrassed before, not around Nicholas. While you were weird sometimes, it was never this bad.
He wasn't supposed to know about this, nor discover it the way he did.
You: cover your eyes pls
You: this wasn't for u
nic: you sure?
nic: are there any other nics in your life?
Your stomach twisted at the message, hand coming up to cover your mouth as an audible gasp escaped your throat. How could he say that?
You felt all sorts of emotions wash over you, unable to process each one of them as you read the message over and over again.
You: what if there is
The question was risky, it could either end with him telling your brother, or him teasing you over it and brushing it off. Either way, you couldn't have him, so why not just fuck it and go with the flow?
nic: then that would be disappointing.
Your breath caught in your throat, vision going blurry as Nicholas’ bubble kept appearing and disappearing.
nic: id really hate that you feel this way about someone else
Oh my god, were you dreaming?
You could not believe your eyes. You turned off your phone, letting the dimness of the room seep through for a moment before you unlocked your device once again, heart skipping a beat when you realized it was real.
Nicholas, your brother’s best friend, might have been flirting with you, but that’s just in your head, right…?
You: ??? wdym
nic: you first
nic: was this about me, doll?
The pet name made you weak to your core, spiraling you over the edge as you put your phone down for a second. You took a deep breath, feeling your face heat up at how suggestive the boy sounded.
He sounded so desperate, you weren't sure if it was the tiredness, or him being genuine. Either way, you’re fucked, because you’re willing to do anything for him, even if it means breaking your heart.
You: what if it was
You: what will you do ab it
You felt nauseous as you waited for a response, groaning when the boy disappeared for a minute. Did you say something wrong? Why did he suddenly leave?
nic: then id risk it all
Speechless. Your mouth hung open, chest filling with lust as a breath heaved out of you.
You: are you saying this because you’re tired
nic: no
nic: god no
There was no ounce of self control in your body left. You almost screamed, overwhelmed by a new sense of emotions.
Is this how it felt? Because fucking hell.
You: it is
nic: it is what?
You: this is so embarrassing
You: why are you making me admit it you know exactly what im talking about
nic: baby
nic: jus tell me
You: no you suck im going to sleep
nic: WAIT no come here youre so cute
You blushed at the message, unable to suppress the smile forming on your lips. God, he’s such an idiot. And you were totally swooned for him.
You: i literally just sent you a message talking ab how much i wanna suck your dick what about that is cute
nic: oh? so you do admit it
You: …
You felt nervous, realizing how serious this has gotten. From a silly message turned into you contemplating whether this was a good idea. The last thing you were anticipating while typing that message was a confrontation, one from Nicholas; at that.
nic: you couldve told me yk
You: do you hear yourself
nic: ? what
You: nic you know this is wrong
You: youre gonna wake up tmr and forget all ab it
nic: you knkw
nic: yoirw so fucjinf hot
You came to a halt, noticing the amount of mistakes the boy was making. Your mind wandered somewhere else, feeling heat crawl past your neck, all the way to your face.
You: what are you saying
nic: fucking hell
nic: take the hint baby
You froze in your spot, tongue coming out to wet your lips, suddenly feeling heat travel to in between your legs. Don’t give in, don't give in, don’t give in.
You: what
nic: you couldve asked me if you were curious
nic: i wouldve happily showed you
That sent you over the edge. Your mind went fuzzy, unable to process the last few texts you received from Nicholas. He was being serious, dead serious, you were sure of that.
The texts you exchanged always revolved around your brother; usually Nicholas asking whether he was home or not. However, this one was different.
He was hinting something, something very risky that you were unable to resist.
You: dont say that
nic: what, you don't believe me?
You: nic
nic: give me five
You stared at the message on the screen, confused on what he meant. Your eyebrows furrowed with puzzlement, awaiting a message, merely to get nothing in return.
As you were about to shut your phone and go to sleep, it pinged, the notification startling you awake. You clicked on it immediately, mind going hazy as you read the message over and over again.
nic: open the door
nic: im outside your room
You didn’t hesitate as you got up, swiftly walking your way to the door. You unlocked it with haste, vision going blurry as you caught sight of Nicholas, who was standing inches away from you now.
He looked just as desperate as you were, maybe even more. And that was it, it was all you needed to pull him by the collar and cease the distance between you two.
The moment his lips collided with yours, you realized that maybe it’s worth ending up with a broken heart, because Nicholas tastes fucking addicting, and you found every way to make good use out of that obsession.
The possession of knowing he’s off limits, yet here he was, eagerly kissing you numb.
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landofgay · 1 year ago
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today sucks 🥰
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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...
#i think. maybe ill go to bed before 8 tonight#bc my brain. i can't deal with it. and im tired#but i should not do that bc i have things i need to do#like. theres an application due the 11th. but fuck it i might not send it bc fucking whats the point#why has it become so impossible to function? i mean. i kno why but its still annoying#and its like so crazy bc i just feel like im curled up on the floor with the broken pieces of my life and nothing terribles even happened#from an outside perspective its perfectly fine and good my insides have just rottef out#like i had to spend most of today plotting an experiment and i feel bad bc im just so. im so worried that looking after yhis thing is going#to hurt. its going to drain away hours of my time. i dont kno how long it take to deal with every single day for 2 weeks#ill have to water it at 7 and 5 and take measurements all day probably and im very worried about the amount of damage thats going to do#when it already feels like i should b careful where i step. and i feel bad bc im prob such a bummer to hang around like im so sullen faced#and i just dont care. like we had to make a decision bc we could do one thing or another and it would b answering 2 diff questions#and my boss was like. well which do u find most interesting. and i just. i dont care im more concern with the amount of psychic damage this#will inflict upon me so i just dont really give a fuck and that makes me so sad bc like at one point this probably would have been fun#and now im just bitter and it hurt and i jusr want to lay down and not get up#and im like how the fuck am i supposed to find a phd position when the enthusiasm for what i do now has completely burned thru me?#like hi yes r u looking for a new student? im dizzy and my life is falling apart even tho everythings my brains just on fire#but ya kno i think id b an asset to your lab! sigh... itll b fine i kno it will bc it has to b#ill visit the school i wanna go to. hopefully not make myself look like too much of an unstable moron and then leave this place#dragg my bleeding soul across the country to shrivel up in a different area code#somethings gotta give but lets hope it waits a couple months ya kno#ugh. im just tired. i should sleep. i didnt sleep enough last night. and i didnt relax on the weekend so ive got that i don't kno what day#it is type of vertigo. but tomorrow will b better. it will bc i dont want it to b worse#unrelated#i just want to study things that made me feel something. y doesn't that have to b so hard?#let me study slime. endless days alone with the green goo
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starboye · 4 months ago
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pairing: steve rogers x male reader
request: Captain America falls in love with his fellow big bubble butt Twunk male reader avenger. Steve asked him on a date which leads to Steve and male reader losing their virginity on the first date; which eventually has them both in a long term married life full of happiness, love, and hot steamy sex with the super soldier with his big hung 🍆 and a twunk with the big 🍑.
warnings: smut, both of you are virgins, cursing, and fluff
a/n: idk how I feel about this one, it feels a lil iffy
you had just gotten back from your most recent mission where you had to stop some robbers from getting away with some stolen bank money with steve and lets just say it wasn't the easiest thing ever as it seemed like steve was occupied thinking on something else "hey what was that out there you seemed preoccupied" you say playfully nudging him "oh it was nothing just thinking" he stammers trying to avoid eye contact with you "well leave the thinking for off the field" you chuckle "yeah" he smiles.
just before you get out the door steve calls out "hey y/n would you wanna go out to dinner sometimes" he asks nervously "are you asking me on a date rogers" you ask with a grin "yeah i guess i a-" he says before getting cut off by the feeling of you kissing his cheek "well than its a date" you say smiling before walking away as steve stands there as his heart is pounding so hard it feels like it gonna burst out his chest.
you meet steve at a fancy restaurant and you guys find a table "I just wanna say you look amazing" he says "well thank you I'd say you look rather dashing yourself" you chuckle "thanks" steve says, you order your food and it soon comes out "wow this looks amazing, how did you even manage to book a place like this I heard they always have a full house" you inquire "compliments to tony he pulled a couple of strings" he says "I'll be sure to say thanks".
after finishing dinner you both walk down the street talking about the latest drama in the avengers compound "hey do you wanna go back to my place" you ask him "y- yeah I would love to" steve stammers at the sudden question before you grab steves hand and playfully run to your apartment, when you get to your apartment you show a nervous steve around.
"sorry it's a little messy I haven't been here in a while" you laugh throwing away done trash that was on your counter and kicking some clothes out the way "oh dont worry my place doesn't look any better" he says looking for some place to sit "oh yeah you can sit on the couch" you say moving some junk off the couch before sitting down on it with steve.
"I really enjoyed tonight" steve says with the biggest smile on his face "I did too" you say admiring steve, after a few seconds of silence steve leans in and kisses you before jumping back just as quickly "I'm sorry I didn't mean too do that" he tries to quickly apologize "don't be sorry I liked it" you say moving onto steves lap and kissing him deeper than before, his hands move to you back holding it firmly.
"should we" you trail off "I'm okay with it if you are" steve says with a bigger smile than before him now about to sleep with his first and best of all his crush "I am" you say taking your shirt off leaving your torso exposed for steve, he feels up and down your body watching how your nipples perk up with each light touch from his digits "you okay there big boy" you chuckle "y-yeah just new to this whole thing" steve says still amazed by your body.
"don't worry it's my first time too" you reassure "really" steve says, on the outside he seemed calm but on the inside he was freaking out at the feeling knowing he was gonna be your first and you were gonna be his first "you wanna take this off" you ask tugging at the hem of his shirt, he quickly obliges and takes off his shirt his broad body now on full display for you.
you run your fingers along his chest, tracing random shapes and admiring his figure "you wanna maybe do it" steve nervously asks "id be happy to" you say getting up and putting on a mini show for steve, stripping off your pants and underwear in an erotic way, you watch as steve follows every one of your movements with his eyes his cock now begging to be let out of its confines.
"how about we get these off of you" you say pulling steves pants off and watching his dick jump out and stand up straight resembling the american flag "I didn't expect you to have a dick like this" you say stunned by the mans large dick "well the super soldier serum enhanced some other things to" steve chuckles "well either way it still looks delicious" you say licking his tip slowly watching him shudder under your touch.
"how are you so good at that" steve asks trying to avoid your seductive gaze "I don't know maybe I just learned it" you say licking his slit, "I bet your bussy feels better" steve says choking down a moan "what" you say holding back a laugh "what" he says innocently "did you just say bussy" you ask almost laughing "what I heard it off porn" he says shrugging his shoulders "yeah you're in desperate need of some hole it seems" you say straddling his bare lap.
steves breath hitches in his throat at the bare feeling "can I kiss you" steve asks trying to control his breathing "you don't have to ask me steve" you say pulling him into a kiss "I wanna feel you" steve begs "okay okay" you chuckle before smearing some saliva on his dick "okay three, two, one" you cut down before sinking onto his dick slowly with a moan.
steves hands quickly find their way to your hips and tightly hold them in place, you sit there for a couple seconds and get used to his large size before looking at him with a "are you okay" look and he replies with a nod, you lift up and sink back down in a rhythm with steve groaning at each move, "I feel like I'm gonna cum already" he says with tightly shut eyes before throwing his head back.
"me too" you moan, your moan brings steves head back up to watch you moan all over him, a dream he's jerked off to multiple times in one day "never did I think id have this chance with you" steve scoffs "well here I am now" you kiss steve before moaning into his mouth as you sink down again "fuck" you huff before cumming all over steves stomach him watching in full awe.
"nghhh" he moans next as he cums in you, his teeth tightened together and eyes shut as his hips erratically thrust upwards trying to ride out his high, after a few more seconds steve finishes and lets out a long breathy huff "fuck that was good" you say dropping your head on his shoulder "sorry for cumming so fast" steve sweetly apologizes "you're good you felt to good" you say "well thank you" he smiles.
it may have only been the first date but steve already wanted to marry you he thought of this so hard he didn't even realize he was staring at you "earth to steve, you okay" you ask with a chuckle "yeah just thinking" he reassures with a smile "you sure do think a lot" you say laying your head back down on his chest "you have no idea" Steve says.
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cindyss · 7 months ago
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• - ARE YOU FLIRTING OR STARTING A FIGHT?- •
PAIRING(S): theodre nott x fem. reader
WARNING(S): smutt
SUMMARY: theodore and y/n are academic rivals, and when one time she gets into an argument with snape and gets detention, the slytherin boy finds a way to follow her there
A/N: thanks for 100 followers ily all 💓
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Everyone knew you and theodore were academic rivals, both of you had always been racing to be at the top of your classes for years now. However, you always were a few points ahead of him, so you always managed to find a way to brag about it.
You’d always rub your higher marked grades in front of his face, you’d tease him about it in the corridor, lunchtime, anytime, all the time. One class however, potions, was one you faced difficulty with.
Snape wasn’t the biggest fan of your house, Ravenclaw, neither was he of you. He gave you a hard time in his class, while on the other hand theo had it the way he liked.
One time in potions class, Draco gave Neville a potion which caused the Gryffindor boy to throw up slugs all over the room. This little show earned a good chuckle from pretty much everyone, and seeing as Snape wasn’t really trying to do anything about it, you finally snapped. “What the hell is going on?” you shout. “Calm yourself, ms.” Snape answered. “No, no! Look what hes doing to him, do something about it!” “Alright, shush now. This is my class, my business to handle, my choices to make and take.” He said, more angrily now.
“This is bullshit!” You shout. “All right, detention ms!” Snape shouts angrily. Just then, theodore punches blaise in the face, making his nose bleed. Holding his face, blaise speaks “what the actual fuck was that for?”. Theo then goes for another punch and thats when snape stops him using his wand, “alright nott, detention for you too!” you could see the little smirk appearing on theo’s lips as snape spoke.
Later ~
The both of you had to spend your night cleaning the library for detention, wonderful. You got there and to your surprise, theo was already there before you. You ignore him and immediately get to work, you wanted to be done and out of here in no time.
As you’re putting some of the books back, he approaches you. “You’re not going to ignore me the whole night right?” to that you dont answer. “But really, Longbottom, out of all people?” He chuckles. “What are you trying to say, neville is my friend and everyone always finds a way to make fun of him so i will not allow that to happen in my presence.”
You leave the slytherin boy in shock and he turns back to keep working on his part. After a while, he speaks again “You know that this whole problem thing with snape will cause you to fail his class?” he speaks.
“I do.” You scoff. “That means i have a higher chance of getting ahead of you and being at the top of the grade this year.”he teases. “I dont even fucking care nott.” You speak as you keep your face to the front, putting the books back in place. “But that wont happen.” He adds. You turn to him confused, “huh?”. “That wont happen i said.” He speaks.” “And how come?” you ask. “Listen to me, we’ve been academic rivals for years, every single time i was so close to beating you, but i never did, do you ever wonder how?”
You don’t speak, as you cant quiet understand what he’s talking about. He then proceeds to continue “i did it on purpose, i knew how much it matters to you, i read your diary in our first year saying how you were so bad at everything you’ve tried and that studying was the only thing you were good at, thats why i’d write the wrong answers on purpose. Id also steal potter’s invisibility cloak to sneak into the classrooms and change your wrong answers.”
“There is no way,” you say hesitantly unsure what to say instead. “Yes, you need to believe me.” “What the fuck, are you flirting with me or tryna start a fight?” He tilts your chin to look up at him, “i never wanna fight with you, i just want you to be happy.”
Just then you lean in closer and connect your lips. He kisses you back, tongues colliding, his hands land on your hips and he pulls you in closer. He pins you to the bookshelf and starts leaving wet, hungry kisses on your neck and collarbone. You moan at the feeling and grab his hair, to which he responds by biting the skin on your neck, slowly, then more aggressively. “Theo, i wanna thank you for what you did” you speak in between moans. “I wanna pleasure you please.” “You’ll only pleasure me by doing what i ask you to do, let me give you head until you forget your name, cara mia.”
Just then he lifts you so that your legs rest on his shoulders, he raises your skirt and lowers you panties. “God you’re already so fucking wet f’me bella.” He says as he begins trailing kisses around your pussy. You arch your back a bit, wanting him to eat you out already to which he chuckles before he begins teasing your folds with his tongue.
He licks your folds then keeps a hand on your thigh to make sure you don’t fall before he adds three fingers inside you all in one go. “HOLY FUCKKKK” you scream and squirm and squeeze around him, only burying his face deeper into your pussy as his tongue and fingers work in sync. You feel your climax building already, “im gonna cum, theo.” You moan as theo speeds his movements. “FUCKK, OH SHIT YEAH JUST LIKE THAT.”
You release and theo licks you clean. He then shows you some of your come on his fingers and he makes you lick them off his fingers. “You taste so fucking good,” he speaks, kissing you. You moan into his mouth then speak “let me give you head, please, i promise to swallow everything.” He breaks the kiss and smiles at you before beginning to remove his pants. You kneel between the boy, who’s now sat on a chair, and find the lace of his boxers.
You pull them down to reveal his hard, throbbing cock. You begin leaving trails of kisses along his v line. Then, you grab his cock and begin massaging it. He leans down to kiss you as you’re playing with him. You palm him and feel his dick twitch at your touch, then you take most of his length in one go. He moans loudly at the feeling as you lick around, sucking better than ever.
You allow your head to move up and down as you try to take more of his length, your nails digging into his thighs. He tugs at your hair, his fingers playing with your brown curls. The slytherin boy then pushes your head completely making his cock hit the back of your throat.
You gag loudly, the sound sending shivers down theos body. As a result, he throws his head back, moaning as you quicken your moves. “Ohhh, my god ‘hm, yeah, please.. mm.. hmh.. fuckkk just like that principessa.” The boy now a whining, whimpering mess. him moaning like that oml.
Without warning, he cums into your mouth. You look up at him between your lashes, your eyes filled with tears. He smiles down at you, watching you swallow everything. He then carries you and places you on his lap, “good girl, that was fucking awesome, tesoro (sweetheart).”
“I wanna make you cum one more time tonight, i know you have one left.” he speaks. “Only if you promise to come inside me.” You announce. He chuckles and nods as he begins removing your shirt. He removes it then proceeds to remove your bra.
Your boobs fly out, bouncing, also revealing your hard tits. He immediately lays his mouth on your breast, pleasuring your left boob, licking and sucking on it endlessly. He also used his other hand to pinch and play with your tit on the other side. This man, lord. He was only playing with your boobs and he was already gonna throw you over the edge again.
He then pleasured the other boob similarly, licking, sucking, and biting before he started leaving a trail of kisses all the way up to your neck. He then held your hips and slowly begin lowering you onto him, you were able to get most of him in the first time. Then, he gave you time to adjust before pushing more of himself in. You moan when you have his whole length in and then when you get used to his size, you begin riding him.
As you begin riding him slowly and carefully, he groans slightly at the feeling. Theo then places his fingers on your clit and starts rubbing hard which makes you feel yourself cum start to form. “Im gonna cum again teddy..” you announce. “Do it, f’me cara mia.” You speed your movements and so does he, you begin moaning at the speed of things to which he kisses you to stop the moans from being too loud.
Then, theo uses his hips to thrust deeper into your so that you’re practically bouncing on him. That is followed by him sucking on the sensitive skin on your neck, biting and licking it until you scream as you release onto him. As he’s helping you ride out your climax, you moan his name making him groan and cum inside of you.
The boy then grabs your face and kisses you hard, “i fucking loved that,” he speaks. “So did i” you smile back at him. Just then, you hear a sound coming from somewhere to which you both jump in fear and begin getting dressed. You manage to put your skirt and shirt on, but the slytherin boy only his pants before mr lupin appears.
His eyes widen in surprise at the site of the boy half naked, “a little hot mr nott?” “uhh.. yes sir” he says hesitantly. Remus then chuckles, “im gonna let it slide this time but please try to do it in a more private place and finish your duties too.” You both nod before moving back to your jobs.
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