#so i could have a healthy relationship without sex
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chatdomestique · 1 month ago
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Sex is not an expression of love, sex is an expression of horny, and love just happens to increase attraction. Thank you and good night
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f-imaginings · 1 month ago
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I have a genuine question being Aroace but I'm afraid to ask and my headcanon will go to waste.
But KMKY's Ford always seemed to be at least in some way the aroace look (being demi or gray that is), did you do it out of want, in the idea of looking, or is it just part of the character and you never thought of yourself in a sexuality for him?
I can definitely see Ford being ace!
I myself am demisexual so I definitely think some of that perspective leeched into how I write Ford. Because my own experience informed how I wrote him, little things like being kind of oblivious/frustrated when strangers flirt with him (the hand witch or the girl from college who worked in the aquarium with the legwarmers lmao) because they don't know him!!! So how dare they!!! Lmao, falling for Bill's mind first since it didn't really matter that he was a shape or a muse or whatever, the rest would work itself out, feeling seen and only crushing initially because it seemed like his mind was being appreciated first and foremost, and treating their sex life like an experiment/engaging with the kinks/power plays inherent rather than just going through the motions (because kink makes more sense sometimes than just some undefined biological urge that you're supposed to have but no one can explain it to you, yet it's perfectly understandable to go 'oh they like feeling powerless as a powerful being I understand that perfectly, now how can I get creative with it'.)
I definitely think he wanted romantic attention from Bill, and wanted to be valued romantically (hence going on a date with Susan and Cathy Crenshaw) but the idea of getting romantic attention from a stranger is unappealing (hence why he was so reluctant to go on the date with Susan) and wanted the sort of holistic acceptance that comes with ideas of romance (because then his polydactylism will be accepted along with his unique mind) but the traditional trappings of romantic relationships aren't that appealing (was worried that he would have to engage in gay culture/grow a moustache and have a makeover to be in this relationship ECT). Bill was great for him BC he accepted and actively sought out all of Ford's weirdness and the dark bits you're ashamed to show, and then got freaky with them lmao. And there's no way to cement a bond quicker than to show someone your most vulnerable parts and have them accept those things unconditionally. Turning shame into dependence right there. That truly is the no one knows you like I do trap, and that shit feels inescapable.
Because of my own experience I know that you can be demisexual and still have a preference for gender or looks, hence why he built the "flattering vessel" for Bill to not only be flattering by beauty standards in general but also subconsciously to be exactly what Ford found attractive. The kicker is that personality means more than good looks, so when Bill inhabited the body in a different way than Stanford expected but he still found his personality all the more fascinating because of it, that was probably what cinched his feelings BC he got to know more about Bill's weirdness and see how it matched his own.
I am giving you a big virtual hug anon BC no head canon is ever wasted, how you engage with a story you like is important and you deserve to feel seen and heard when you engage in content you like. If I can go some way towards making the fandom of this fic a safe welcoming place it's my privilege to do so as a writer!
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coockie8 · 1 year ago
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I don't know what anti needs to hear this, but a ship having the occasional argument, sometimes insulting each other, and having *gasp* sex every now and again is not "toxic", that's called an average, human relationship.
Sorry, but I see antis who brag about how "problematic and toxic" their blog is, while having a several miles-long DNI full of anything and everything that could even be remotely "problematic" way too often, and it's like what, exactly, are you defining as "toxic and problematic" here, when all the actual "toxic and problematic" themes are in your DNI????
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eroaneki · 5 months ago
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I keep telling myself having any perverse thoughts are stupid and to stop it but I have zero issues watching porn because it's not me thinking about anything. It's just media I'm consuming.
I don't understand my relationship with sex. It's so odd and I wish I could just be fucking normal about it.
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miyukisu · 5 months ago
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NSFW Alphabet | Sae Itoshi .ᐟ
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❤︎ | Get to know Sae Itoshi from A to Z~ ╰ feat. sae itoshi x afab! reader
minors do not interact
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[A] Aftercare Decent. Bare minimum. Not over the top. At the very least he would wipe you down and clean you up without expecting you to move an inch. He'll even guide you to the bathroom if you plan to shower together (there are times when he carries you, but that's reserved for days when he REALLY goes all out on you). You have to specifically request for things if you want him to do it. Otherwise, that's all you're getting.
[B] Body Part Sae's canonically into ass. But it's important to note that he cares more about shape rather than size. He'll subtly ogle at your ass even in broad daylight, especially if you're wearing tight clothes that showcase it. On himself, however, he's aware of how nice his thighs look. Sometimes he'll pass by a full-length body mirror in just his boxers and he'll stand there for a minute to admire his legs. Partially, this is why he enjoys working out his legs.
[C] Cum Cums a lot, but not thick. It's more on the translucent side. He maintains a healthy diet so you can expect the taste to be bearable. Of course, he likes to release on your ass, but sometimes it gets on to your back as well. It's a sight he never gets tired of.
[D] Dirty Secret Even with his partner, he would hate to admit that he likes taking nude pictures of himself. It's not like he's going to send them out or that he gets off to it; he's no narcissist. But there's just something inexplicable about doing it. He'll snap a few, look at them, then delete them. He isn't sure why. But if you're into receiving nudes, he'll gladly comply (that is, if you've been together long enough).
[E] Experience Despite his good looks, it's surprising to know that he hasn't done it with a lot of people. He only does it with someone he's in a relationship with and even that rarely happens. He's a busy person and it takes longer for him to develop trust for anyone compared to the normal person. But you could say that he's a natural. He can make you cum at least a couple of times through instinct alone.
[F] Favorite Position He has a hard time picking between plain ol' doggy and reverse cowgirl. See any similarities? Yeah, both positions just give him a nice view of your behind. It allows him to grope, squeeze, and slap it any time he wants. He particularly likes watching it jiggle at every hard thrust that he does. Although, he might prefer doggy a little more as he can have most of the control in that position. But it's trivial to pick. He'll just have you in both positions each time you decide to do it anyway.
[G] Goofy The man doesn't smile, let alone laugh, during sex. It's not that he's not enjoying it, but he doesn't find the act to be humorous at all. He finds it weird to call it "fun". He'd rather describe it as passionate and intense which is why he's serious. However, there are VERY rare moments when he cracks a small smile, but it only happens in highly emotional moments (like your first time having sex as a married couple, for example).
[H] Hair He trims it, but not for sexual purposes. He's an extremely hygienic man, so he does it out of self-care. In reality, he doesn't care too much about what their partner thinks of his hair. If they like it; then great. If they don't; they can deal with it. Besides, he doesn't care about his partner's hair. He'll take whatever's waiting for him down there. He'll never go fully bald because he finds it odd. He'll trim it a bit regularly and that's about it.
[I] Intimacy A very passionate lover; that's for sure. As I've mentioned, he finds the act to be something serious. He'll only do it with you out of love and care. So even if he doesn't outwardly seem like a romantic person in bed, he definitely is. He likes to keep it fair in the bedroom. So if he's enjoying, you should be enjoying it just as much as he is. Although, he doesn't speak much, but he'll call you "Amor" sometimes. Sae will whisper that name in your ear gently.
[J] Jack Off As you might expect, he doesn't do it a lot. For one, he's too busy doing or thinking about something else. It's something that he can only think about doing when he's lying in bed at night with a blank mind. Sae mostly does it out of frustration—if he wants to release pent up emotions without lashing out on someone else. He's quick and likes to get the job done as fast as he can. Can you blame him? It relaxes him after all. Though, he isn't immune to temptation either. If you send him jack off material, he'll gladly use it.
[K] Kink Sae discovered it a bit late, but he likes brat taming. He doesn't even know that it's a thing. He just knows that he likes putting disobedient girls in their places. He'll act annoyed or pissed off at your insolence, but deep down, he's craving that you do it more. Something about feeling that his authority is being challenged, excites him. Of course, it adds some spice to your bedroom activities. But maybe it has to do with him proving to you over and over again that he's the one in control—he's the one holding the reigns. He especially loves it when you eventually become obedient in the end. But keep being a tease; he eats it up.
[L] Location Anywhere as long as it's inside the house/apartment/hotel. He likes the privacy and comfort that those places offer. He can't be bothered to think about the possibility of getting caught. As thrilling as it might be, he has a reputation to uphold. The impending PR work is not worth the orgasm, at least for him. He also would hate to do it in a place that would force you into a weird position. At least at home there's a bed, a couch, a chair, or a counter for you to use. Again, he's a hygienic guy, so the dirty outdoors is a huge no for him.
[M] Motivation First of all, he has to be either extremely relaxed or incredibly frustrated—there is no in between. But once either condition is met, it's not that hard to get him in the mood. In fact, he likes to hear how eager you are. Simply asking him if he wants to do it would be more than enough. Even better if you express how much you've been needing him throughout the day or week. There are times when he initiates things, but that usually happens when you're already touching each other (like while cuddling). You'll know because he'll grind his hard on against you or deliberately take your hand and place it there.
[N] No Anything extreme is off the table for him. In many ways, he's quite vanilla. The farthest he'll go would be a little bit of bondage and usage of toys. But if there's extreme pain, blood, piss, and things beyond that involved—consider him out.
[O] Oral Again, he likes to keep things pretty equal, so likes both giving and receiving. Although, you might notice that he'll go at your pussy first before letting you suck him off. It gets him into the momentum apparently. Plus, most of the time, he already gets you to cum from his tongue alone. You swear that he gets better each time he does it. You can never last long since he likes to suck on the clit, oop. When you suck him off, he'll tangle his fingers in your hair and guide you lightly. He lets you do your thing, pretty much. The only exception is when he's really stressed out—expect him to tug at your hair a little harder then.
[P] Pace He usually likes it slow and sensual. Sex is the only time he feels relaxed and in control of his time. Why would he want to rush it? The atmosphere also feels different for him when he goes slow. Furthermore, Sae uses this as a way to observe you properly—which spots to hit, which points to stimulate at the same time, and so on. It gets him off knowing that he can get better and better at providing pleasure. Consider it as part of his ego as well. He might take it slow, but there are definitely moments when he pounds you hard and steady. The type of pounding that needs you to hold on for dear life or else you'll fall.
[Q] Quickie Not really a fan of it. But it's not like he would never do it. Sae will only resort to quickies when absolutely necessary. Those kinds of situations are mostly when both of your schedules are packed and there is literally not enough time to have proper sex. That or when both of you feel incredibly frustrated and nothing else will satiate you but each other. Another reason why he doesn't do this as much is that it leaves him wanting more. He hates feeling like a needy idiot, so he avoids quickies as much as he can.
[R] Risk He'll try anything not-so-extreme at least once, especially if you ask him nicely. Though he has shown interest in experimenting in bondage a bit, more specifically, in shibari. It's a bit intricate and it might hurt you a bit if not done right, but if you're willing to share that risk with him—he's game. From the Sae perspective, I'd say a risky thing that he does is whispering things in your ear he wouldn't normally say. He just likes to keep you on your toes and the way you clench down on him is just way too good. Besides, you'll most likely forget he said it anyway because he fucks you dumb most of the time.
[S] Stamina His endurance and stamina in general are certainly well-trained, but he is just a man. His dick needs to recuperate at its own pace. Maybe he can last two rounds for the most part, but there are days when he can only last for one. But it's not much of an issue. In that one round, he can last for so long. He can take advantage of that time and make you cum over and over again. Besides, even if you've milked him for the time being, he can still go at it with his mouth and fingers. You'll never catch him breathless after a few measly minutes.
[T] Toys He doesn't own any. He feels silly spending money on such things and using it on himself. But if it's for you; he'll gladly spend as much as he needs. He just doesn't see the appeal of using it on himself. Pocket pussies? Cock rings? Seems a bit ridiculous to him. But if you happen to own a vibe or two, he'll definitely use it. There's no harm in heightening your pleasure anyway. He's also chill with a bit of bondage rope and handcuffs. He's a bit iffy about using dildos though. Maybe it's because of his pride, but what's the use of it when you can have his dick instead?
[U] Unfair He's a tease without even trying. The snarky remarks that he makes comes out of his mouth naturally. "Oh, you're cumming again? You're too easy," and he'll say it with a straight face. Sometimes when you do ask him to fuck you faster, he'll ignore you on purpose. The man wants to hear you beg so nicely for him after being such a brat earlier. Although, he's surprisingly less of a tease as you'd expect.
[V] Volume Mostly grunts and groans. He claims that you will never hear him whimper, so of course, you make it your life's purpose to get him to whimper. It has yet to happen. And he does find it amusing that you think that you can make THE Sae Itoshi whimper like a bitch. Aside from that, the sounds he makes aren't so loud. He makes sure the grunts near your ear, containing it there. BUT, a little quirk of his is that he lets out a long sigh once he cums. It just feels so relieving that he can't help it anymore.
[W] Wild Card He thinks he'd bust right away sometimes whenever you stare up at him while you suck him off. Seeing you servicing him so eagerly while on your knees does things to his brain. It makes his ego swell like insane. "You're such a good girl, amor. You love me alot, don't you?" He'll wipe away the tears that threaten to fall because your jaw's so stretched out. Sae knows you're struggling a bit, but hang on for now and he'll reward you plenty afterwards.
[X] X-ray Not that girthy, but loooooong. He has quite a pretty dick, especially since he keeps it neat down there as well. It doesn't curve that much, but it is quite veiny. You can see the veins because of his pale complexion. There's one particularly thick vein that feels the best when rubbing against your walls. He's also cut, so you know that he has a light pink tip. Definitely a shower.
[Y] Yearning He's definitely more inclined to have sex than jacking off. That's because he'll actually make time for it. Sae will find ways to clear up his schedule or at least have more time with you—to have sex and to do things other than sex, of course. It's an odd, but helpful, trait of his that he can easily match the libido of his partner. Unless if his partner has an insanely high libido, then you'd probably have to find even ground. But again, it's not hard to get him into the mood. So if you initiate or ask him, more often than not—he'll get down and dirty with you in a heartbeat.
[Z] Zzz He doesn't fall asleep right away because, A) he needs to clean up and take care of you, and B) he just isn't tired enough. Don't get him wrong—good pussy pushes him to the edge, but being well-trained just helps him to not pass out immediately after busting. However, he will fall asleep right away once you're all cleaned up and the bed (which presumably got drenched) is all tidied up. Once you're sleeping soundly in his arms, he'll let himself be consumed by slumber as well.
❤︎ Overall: Sae's quite a good lover in that he puts effort and meaning into sex and that he's constantly improving. He genuinely cares about making it an activity both of you enjoy. 10/10 experience.
©kzyluvr do not repost/reupload/translate any of my works on other platforms
╰ author's note Actually a bit terrified that I might have butchered Sae Itoshi in this one
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crystallinestars · 2 months ago
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NSFW Alphabet - Kinich
In honor of Kinich's birthday, I wrote a NSFW alphabet to celebrate. There's just something about him that has a firm grip on me, and I've been unable to stop thinking about him for a solid month. I'm posting this at 11:11 (my time), so let this also be a tribute in the hopes he'll come home on his rerun 🙏
Kinich x fem!Reader
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Kinich is quite good at aftercare. He’s attentive to your needs and asks how you’re feeling and if you need him to get you anything or help with cleanup. Even before you say anything, his keen eye picks up on your physical state, and Kinich will go out of his way to help you with whatever he can.
He gets you whatever you ask for, be it water, a towel, or a kiss, and carries you to the shower if you’re too weak to walk. He apologizes for being too rough on you and makes a mental note to be gentler next time. Kinich makes it up to you by letting you rest and taking care of your household duties the following day.
After cleaning up, if it’s not too late in the day, he’ll whip up a simple meal for you to share. Alternatively, he might stay in bed and cuddle if he needs the rest. Kinich enjoys cuddling after sex and basking in the afterglow. There’s something nice about holding and treating you with tenderness after such a passionate encounter. It deepens his affection for you.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Kinich doesn’t have a favorite body part on himself, but he does prize his body as a whole. His childhood taught him early on the importance of having a well-maintained body. Without it, he wouldn’t have survived. It’s also his bargaining chip with Ajaw, so he considers his body to be one of his greatest assets. Kinich takes care to stay in shape, which his physically demanding commissions and extreme sports hobby make easy to accomplish.
As for your body, Kinich also has no preference. He loves you for who you are rather than what you look like, but he does have a slight fascination with the nape of your neck. He catches himself wanting to kiss it when standing or lying behind you.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
It’s thin and a healthy white. Has a slightly salty flavor. Doesn’t have a strong preference for where to cum, but he usually does it inside unless you tell him otherwise. He is hesitant to cum on your face because he thinks you won’t like that. You’ll need to tell him it’s okay otherwise he’ll avoid that area.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
The first time you wore a swimsuit, Kinich was captivated by how pretty you looked. He already thought you were attractive, but something about seeing you in a flattering swimsuit and exposing so much skin made him pause and take an appreciative glance at you. His usual stoic expression didn’t change, but Ajaw noticed the subtle way Kinich’s eyes trailed down your figure, lingering on you for a moment too long.
Of course, Ajaw’s immediate response was to mock Kinich for checking you out, and the Saurian Hunter had to lock the menace away to keep him quiet. Though it would have been embarrassing to be exposed for checking you out, Kinich worried more about Ajaw making you uncomfortable with his blunt and crass commentary, so he did what he could to prevent that. Kinich also complimented your appearance, wanting you to know he thought you looked pretty in your swimsuit. (There was also a lot of fruit bribing happening behind your back so Ajaw wouldn’t open his big mouth once he was let out)
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Kinich has no experience. He never sought romantic or sexual relationships, preferring to be by himself and taking care of his sexual needs on his own. Intimate relationships weren’t a priority or something he was interested in. Once Ajaw entered his life, the pixelated menace’s rudeness and narcissism kept others away from Kinich, so such chances became even fewer, though Kinich didn’t mind.
Despite having no prior experience, Kinich does have a working knowledge of sex. He sees it mostly as a means of reproduction, but he’s read and heard enough to know it’s also done for pleasure, to relieve stress, and to deepen bonds between romantic partners. He never really gave it much thought until he formed a romantic relationship with you and wondered if sex was something you wanted to have with him in the future. He looked into it more once you started discussing the possibility of being sexually intimate. Due to his cautious nature, Kinich wants to be prepared for all kinds of situations, so he spends a great deal of time researching guides and tips on how to have safe sex.
The Saurian Hunter doesn’t let his inexperience hold him back. Even during your first time, he acts assertively and confidently when exploring your body and learning your likes and dislikes but remains gentle. Kinich’s preparedness gives him a good idea of what to do to please you and keep things comfortable and safe so you can both enjoy the experience. However, as a beginner to sexual intimacy, he would still appreciate it if you gave him some guidance on how you want to be pleased and communicated with him about your needs. He wants to polish his skills to please you to the best of his ability.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Kinich favors classic positions like missionary, cowgirl, and doggystyle.
Missionary allows him to see your face and establish a more intimate emotional connection. It’s his go-to when he craves romantic lovemaking. It also makes it easy to kiss you, hold your hand, and bite your neck. Kinich enjoys variations on missionary as well, such as hiking your legs onto his shoulders or pressing your knees to your chest for deeper and tighter penetration.
With cowgirl, he enjoys letting you take the reins and move how you like. There’s something hot about watching you bounce on his lap and get off with his cock, not to mention the alluring view he has of your body. While you ride him, Kinich helps guide your hips with his hands and thrusts up into you when he gets closer to his peak.
As for doggystyle, Kinich likes to use this position when you don’t have as much time to make love but still need sexual relief. It’s a tad primal, and he’s fond of the tighter squeeze this position offers. Watching you melt and moan under him makes his self-control slip a little, so Kinich tends to fuck you harder in this position. He presses his chest against your back, blanketing your body with his to stay close to you and because he likes biting your neck and shoulders.
Kinich’s athleticism and equipment allow him to try some less conventional sex positions, though he generally won’t choose them unless you express an interest in trying something new. If you so wish, he’ll use his strength and flexibility to try out one of the more difficult positions, or even get out the ropes and hooks, but only after careful research about the associated safety hazards. Sex should be fun, yes, but doing so safely is still a higher priority for him. The last thing he wants is for either of you to get injured.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
As with most things, Kinich approaches sex seriously, but he does try to keep the mood relaxed. He doesn’t crack jokes, but his demeanor softens. He asks for permission to touch you, and frequently inquires if you’re okay and want to keep going, giving you a chance to stop should you want it. He takes your needs and comfort very seriously.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Has a small patch of curly dark hair. He grooms it just enough to keep it orderly but doesn’t spend a lot of time trimming it to perfection.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Kinich is not the greatest romantic, but he does value an emotional connection during sex. He has come a long way in learning to trust and open up to people since his turbulent childhood, but the vulnerability and intimacy that come with sex and romance can make him uneasy. As such, Kinich only has sex with someone he deeply loves and trusts. Only such a person has the privilege to witness such a vulnerable part of himself.
Because he views most things in life as a transaction, if you entrust your heart and body to him, Kinich will see it as his duty to show the same amount of love and trust in return. He cherishes your trust and affection and wants to repay you in kind. This manifests in him holding your hand during lovemaking, openly looking at you with desire and adoration, and leaving soft kisses all over your skin.
He’s not the best with words, but Kinich tries his best to compliment you. It’s nothing flowery, usually just a simple “you look beautiful” while he admires your figure, or “you feel good”, and of course a whispered “I love you” during tender lovemaking.
As mentioned previously, Kinich values your comfort so he frequently asks how you’re feeling and if you want to keep going. He doesn’t want to force you if you don’t feel ready or want to stop, and neither does he want to push your body past its limits. Hurting or upsetting you is the absolute last thing he wants, so he gives you opportunities to leave the situation in case you want them. He’s very considerate towards you.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Kinich doesn’t masturbate often. He’s usually busy completing commissions so he doesn’t have the luxury of thinking about his sexual needs. If he needs to relieve stress, then his preference for that is through extreme sports.
Nonetheless, he still experiences the urge for sexual relief, so Kinich usually masturbates while taking a bath. It’s one of the few moments he has completely to himself, plus it makes cleaning up any evidence of his lewd activities extremely easy. Kinich is cautious, however, and stifles his voice and other sounds to remain discreet.
He usually doesn’t think about anything while jacking off, but when he fell in love with you, he caught himself masturbating more often and fantasizing about you in your swimsuit or of you touching him like this. He was ashamed of thinking of you this way at first, but that shame went away once you became sexually intimate. If you ever ask him about whether he thought of you while masturbating, though, he will be honest and forthright when admitting that he had and still does when you’re not available.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Kinich leans more dominant, but he doesn’t enforce his authority. He doesn’t order you around or give commands, but he can pin your wrists down and act assertive to get what he wants from you (all while being respectful of your wishes and first gauging if it’s something you’re anticipating him to do. Kinich would never force himself on you).
He’s fine with you taking the lead if you have an interest in being dominant, and looks forward to seeing what you have in mind for your session together.
One of his biggest kinks is marking. Kinich likes to leave hickeys and bite marks all over your skin, particularly your neck, shoulders, and inner thighs. It’s a primal urge he gets when having sex, and he takes delight in seeing his marks on you in the following days. It makes him feel like he’s staked his claim on you, marking you as his. Of course, he doesn’t go overboard and listens to you if you say you don’t want the marks to be visible. He’ll settle for marking up your shoulders or inner thighs where the marks won’t be seen by anyone except him.
Kinich is also into hearing you beg. He won’t go out of his way to tease and demand you beg for his touch, but if you do so of your own volition (ex: “Kinich please, I need you”) then it sets off something primal inside him. Hearing how needy you are for his touch sends sparks of lust through him and makes him eager to fulfill your desires.
He’s also into light bondage. Nothing complicated, just some scarves or rope to tie your wrists with will do (his knots are secure, but he makes sure the bindings are loose enough to not chafe your skin. Though he’ll tighten them if you ask). Conversely, he can use his hands to pin your wrists down (and lace your fingers together). He’s not into being tied himself, though.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Kinich isn’t against having sex outdoors, but only if you’re in a location that’s safe from potential intruders and wild beasts. He’s open to making love to you while camping, be it in a tent or under the starlit sky but won’t push you if you’re not comfortable with the idea.
At home, to avoid getting caught by Ajaw, Kinich prefers to have sex either in the bedroom or bathroom where you have more privacy. On the occasions when he gets a friend to babysit the menace, Kinich is down to make love pretty much anywhere at home, he’s not picky.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
One of the best ways to turn Kinich on is to express your love for him. Heartfelt words of affection, acts of service, or thoughtful gifts touch his heart. He is overcome by love for you in those moments because you make him feel cherished and cared for, and Kinich feels an impulse to show you that he loves and appreciates you too. He’s not good at sappy love confessions, so this impulse manifests physically. What starts as a gentle kiss of gratitude grows into something passionate as Kinich’s need to express his feelings for you intensifies. This can sometimes result in him making love to you.
Kinich’s self-control and patience are high, but there are a few other things you could do to wear away at them. For example, being assertive in initiative sex. Straddle his lap and teasingly trace your hands over his body, give him kisses along his jaw and neck, whisper in his ear how much you crave him, and lust will ignite in his loins.
Alternatively, you could wear flattering clothes that hug your figure, such as swimsuits or sportswear (he likes to admire how nice you look in them), or press up against him and let him feel the softness of your body. It’s unlikely Kinich will snap, but his interest in sexual intimacy will heighten considerably, and he’ll look for an appropriate opportunity to satiate your carnal desires.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Kinich dislikes being restrained or losing control of his body, so things like bondage and blindfolds make him uneasy. Plus, half the fun of sex is being able to touch you, so being tied up deprives him of the joy of exploring your body and making you feel good.
Kinich also takes no enjoyment from impact play. He doesn’t hate it but simply doesn’t derive any pleasure from the pain, especially because his associations with being hit aren’t good ones. Similarly, he won’t hit or degrade you either, not wanting to be like his father even if it’s light-hearted play with the intent to feel good.
Additionally, Kinich isn’t into roleplay. He doesn’t see the appeal and finds it awkward to act as someone he’s not, especially in a sexual situation. He’d much rather you and he act like yourselves and show appreciation and love for who you are without the extra obstacles.
He’s also not fond of sharing you or having third parties join your sessions, preferring to keep things private. Only you get to see this vulnerable side of him, and he hopes you share the sentiment of wanting him to be the only one to see you like this, as well.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Kinich’s inexperience might make him a little awkward at oral sex at first, but he is devoted to your pleasure and does his best to learn all the ways you like to be eaten out. Whenever he gives you oral, he keeps his eyes fixed on your face and takes mental note of which pressures and touches of his tongue and fingers get the best reactions out of you. He wants to use this knowledge to improve his oral skills so he can better please you.
Kinich has no qualms about going down on you because he strives to make you feel good, and as such, will bury his face between your legs and lap away at your folds until you’re writhing under his touch. He doesn’t mind if you tug his hair or buck your hips against his face, though if you squirm too much or impede his progress by clamping your thighs around his head, then he hooks his arms around your thighs and pins them down to keep you still. Kinch only lets go once he’s brought you to orgasm.
Despite his transactional outlook on life, Kinich doesn’t expect you to give him oral in return for eating you out. If you bring him to orgasm through any other means, then he considers it even. That said, he views it as his duty to go down on you if you give him a blowjob. He loves giving you oral. There’s something so erotic about hearing your moans of pleasure and watching you writhe under his tongue, so he’s always eager to repay the favor.
When you give him a blowjob, Kinich struggles to keep his voice down. His eyes flutter closed and he places a hand on your head, not pushing or pulling but just resting it there to ground himself. The sight of his cock disappearing in your mouth is intense for him, and as he approaches orgasm, Kinich shallowly thrusts into your mouth, careful to not choke you but unable to stop himself from wanting more. Whether you swallow his cum or let him paint your skin in it doesn’t matter—either outcome is hot to him.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Kinich’s pace depends on what you want. He usually goes for a moderate pace, keeping his thrusts consistent and angled just right to hit those sweet spots inside you. However, he can go slow and gentle if you’re making love, or faster and rougher if you’re in the mood for a good fuck. Even if he goes rougher, Kinich is still mindful of your comfort and keeps strict control of his thrusts so as to not hurt you. His main goal is for you to enjoy sex with him. Getting himself off is secondary.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Kinich doesn’t mind quickies. Sometimes, when he or you are in the mood but don’t have enough time to indulge in long foreplay, he goes for quickies. Ajaw is usually the main reason for you guys having quickies, mostly because you want to squeeze in some intimate time before the arrogant saurian inevitably interrupts you.
Kinich finds it a hassle to work around Ajaw’s presence, so he prefers to send the dragonlord out on an errand or lock him away so you won’t be disturbed. To Kinich’s dismay, Ajaw quickly figures out that whenever he gets promptly locked or sent out on a long errand whenever you’re around, this usually means his servant is about to get busy with you. However, for once, Ajaw doesn’t object. He already had the misfortune of accidentally walking in on you getting frisky with Kinich when the hunter forgot to lock him away, and the awful memory is seared into the poor saurian’s brain. One time was too many, and he’d rather never see that again. Nevertheless, when he returns to Kinich’s side, Ajaw makes sure to thoroughly poke fun at the hunter and make his disgust for your sexual activities known.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Kinich is willing to take risks, especially for you. Generally, he’s open to trying almost anything once but only if you’re also on board with experimenting. Due to his cautious nature, Kinich will want to research whatever new kinks you want to try so he knows how to indulge in them safely, especially if one of you hasn’t tried these kinks before. He's open to taking risks but he's not reckless.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Kinich’s commissions and extreme sports hobby require him to have good endurance, so he has very good stamina. He almost always outlasts you in bed. He can easily go for three rounds, maybe a couple more if he’s willing to push himself and takes appropriate breaks, though three is already more than enough to satisfy his sexual cravings.
How many rounds you go for usually depends on you. If you can’t keep up with his stamina, then Kinich is perfectly content to go for 1-2 rounds (as mentioned, it’s the perfect amount for him). However, if your sexual appetite is big, Kinich can go for more rounds, though he would switch it up with oral or fingering for variety and to give himself a break.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Kinich doesn’t own any sex toys. He doesn’t need them to get off and thus sees no point in getting any. If you have toys you like using or want to try with him, then Kinich will learn how to operate them to please you. He typically likes sex without toys but admits they’re good for spicing up your sex life now and then.
He won’t object if you want to use toys on him even though they’re not as gratifying for him as your direct touch, but only if you know what you’re doing.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Usually, Kinich doesn’t tease you during sex. He takes a straightforward approach to life and likes to do things efficiently, and pleasing you is no different. However, Kinich can be playful when the mood strikes, and this results in him teasing you by lightly stimulating your sensitive spots, such as lightly flicking your nipples, rubbing your clit, or sucking on a delicate patch of skin on your neck just to watch you react to his touch with a small, amused smirk on his lips. He’s got a smart mouth, so he might also verbally tease you by pointing out how eager you seem for his touch, but he keeps the teasing lighthearted and affectionate.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Kinich naturally tries to keep his voice down when engaging in sexual activities. His most common sounds are ragged breaths, moans, and sighs of pleasure. His moans are soft, low, and infrequent, mostly because he muffles them by sucking hickeys into your neck or kissing you. He’s loudest when nearing orgasm, oftentimes uttering your name right as he hits his peak.
He doesn’t talk much during sex, but he does give you heartfelt compliments and tells you he loves you as a way of expressing his gratitude for all the love and trust you give him.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
TW: Menstruation, mentions of blood, period sex
When Kinich found out about your painful menstrual cramps, he took to researching various methods he could use to help you deal with them because he doesn’t like seeing you in pain. Aside from common methods like heating pads, pain medicine, and warm baths, Kinich also read that orgasms can help alleviate cramping.
He proposes the idea of period sex, expressing his willingness to give you orgasms if it means bringing you relief. He understands if you aren’t comfortable with the idea and won’t pressure you into it, but his interest in doing this for you is genuine.
Kinich sees menstruation as a normal part of life and reassures you that there is no reason to feel self-conscious or ashamed of your body’s natural response. Blood doesn’t make him squeamish, so he has no reservations about getting any of yours on himself. If it helps you feel better, then he’s willing to get messy.
If you agree to his proposition, Kinich will take great measures to ensure your comfort. He understands that your abdomen must be tender, so he keeps all his touches slow and gentle to avoid worsening your cramps. He lets you decide if you’re more comfortable with him using his penis or fingers—either one is fine with him. If you choose fingers, then he rubs your clit in slow circles and gently thrusts his fingers into you, starting with one and then moving on to two until he makes you cum.
If you prefer his cock, then Kinich will be careful and gentle with his thrusts, keeping them slow and shallow until you’re comfortable with taking more. He showers you with a lot of kisses and affectionate caresses to keep you relaxed and maximize your enjoyment of the experience. During such moments, Kinich focuses more on your comfort and enjoyment than his own pleasure because the experience is mainly about you.
He feels a sense of accomplishment when his efforts pay off in your orgasm and you confirm that it did indeed help alleviate your pain. Kinich volunteers to have menstrual sex with you each month if it’s something that interests you.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
11cm (4.3 inch) in length and 10cm (3.9 inch) in girth with a dark red tip and a prominent vein underneath.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Kinich’s sexual appetite isn’t big, so having sex once or twice a week is enough for him. Because his work sometimes forces him to leave his tribe for days at a time, opportunities to make love are not as frequent as you might hope, but Kinich still tries to make time for it.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Kinich doesn’t fall asleep immediately after intercourse unless he’s tired. He likes to stay up and hold you, basking in the afterglow and letting you know that he really enjoyed this moment. He’s not one for idle chatter, but he does use this opportunity to talk about your plans for tomorrow, maybe plan a small date, or invite you to a special place he discovered while running an errand as a courier.
You almost always fall asleep before him (he gives you quite a workout) and he observes the way your expression relaxes as you drift off with a small smile on his face. Kinich ensures you’re properly tucked in before draping an arm around you and joining you in sleep, or quietly getting out of bed to take care of unfinished work. He always makes sure you’re comfortable before leaving, though.
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vex-jb · 3 months ago
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Pick a pile sex with ur next partner💋
~hey there once your done check out the poll all the way at the bottom for a special treattttt !! ~
Pile 1 🐸
Pile 2 🐝
Pile 3 🎤
Scroll down and find ur pile before reading u can also choose by the gif
Pile 1 — King of Wands ~ 🐸
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Next sexual partner
~ This could be someone that u already know specifically from the past 😭 this individual could have strong air or be a fire sign individual or air/water individual. This person if very much coming off large and in charge they could have a serious look or be intimidating they could have a piercing stare colored eyes. This person is very smart, Book smart. Tho they come of very fierce the way they approach u or feel towards u is more softer. U may have a special place in their heart or there’s potential for that to grow. This person wants to come back in ur life and have a new beginning. This person is feeling confident coming towards u. They may come towards u with an attitude of being more open minded carefree they feel pretty optimistic that things will go the way their planning 😂
How will sex be between u two?
lol I get when u guys get intimate with one another someone may finish quickly which will make the other party feel very disappointed 😂 the person who was left without finishing may want to go for another round almost begging enticing this person to start again. They may like seeing u beg or want them to go again seeing u want more from them, desiring them in that way will make them feel pretty good —in a cocky way lol. There will be another round or 2 this person will gather themself to give it too u better and I’m seeing the 2nd round will be wayy better both of u will be meshing will equally pleasing one another. I see some strong penetration (this person could be pretty girthy or u may see them as being big ) both of u will end up feeling equally pleased. At the end u two could feel like commitment would be a good idea bc of the strong intimacy u share and how it went so well or someone may think I’m not meeting anyone else fuck u like that 😭
**********finishing quick, couple rounds, thick/girthy, commitment, open minded, begging submission, blow job, mentally and physically finishing *******************✨✨✨
Pile 2~The Tower 🐝
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Who will number 2 be having sex with?
~ 2 energies pick which one resonates
Group A: U guys have history with this person a lot of on and off again energy. Either this is or will be a fwb or situationship(3rdparty) .This situation is very emotionally charged and lot of cups are coming out. U could be dealing with a water sign specifically Pisces, Gemini, Aquarius Libra or cap.
Group B: this is someone who could have struggled with letting go of someone who they were married too or had a long term relationship with there could have been back and fourth but it only left them feeling worst not wanting to let go of what they invested in or the potential. This person could have been abandoned due to betrayal hence the 3rd party. This person could have been struggling to listen to themselves where they know that relationship isnt meant to last … you could potentially be there 2 of cups a new healthy relationship that the universe is giving to them. But what will they choose idk this isn’t a relationship reading but they will either grow tf up and not settle or be a loser and low ball themself 🙄
Okay the sex part 😁✨✨✨✨✨
The intimacy between the two of you could feel very comfortable familiar 🩵 both of you will feel safe with each other you guys will find each other very attractive in bed A LOT of sexual chemistry. I see kissing will be HOT and heavy u guys will be making outtt, tongue down each others throats lip biting sucking.
I see the masculine taking the lead at first and then u both will be equally pouring into each other 👀 the intimacy will feel very passionate. Strong indication of potential pregnancy coming out. **When sex is hot, emotionally charged, wild intense that’s when babies come into the picture 😳 so be very careful if ur not ready. Like im being so serious that ONE position and POOFF✨🌈🤰🏽single mother 😂 jk (dark humor) but anyways back to the sex reading. I see u both reciprocating so no one is going to feel unfinished. I see u guys wrapping up the session with a lot of light hearted energy laughing smiling enjoying each others company.
*********** water parks *cough cough* squirting, lots of liquid, healing, fun, releasing, body rhythm, music, could have sex in a unique place like not at home maybe outside next to the water beach mid day, spontaneous ************
Shieeeet ik the beginning didn’t sound good but id take the chance for some bomb sex 😭 stop it’s dry season in my life 🤧
Pile 3~ The high priestess 🎤
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person could be a fixed sign or pisces. They will be self assured/ confident emotionally content within themself. They could be popular this person likes new experiences. An open minded individual in the sense that if there’s potential for a good outcome for them they will pursue it. So they weigh the profits before they run towards the next venture. This person sounds very business oriented lol. Once they make up their mind they charge after it. Very sharp minded could be older than u or mature for their age. An old soul?
What’s the intimacy gunna be like?
This person could set the tone before they act. They may like to show out a bit to try and impress u. U may find them very interesting they are showing up self controlled experienced and a giver pleaser sex wise. 😜🤸🏽‍♀️ this person could be quite larger than u like it’s giving ur petite and they are manly. This person may be a bit too self controlled not letting their fantasies get the best of them in bed. U may think this person isn’t turned on by u or find u devouring even though u know u have sex appeal but they think that attitude is the best way to keep u interested in them it’s just a mask 🙄 sex will be pretty smooth it’s giving traditional lol 😂😂😂 I think this person sees u as lavish someone to treat in a eloquent way ( I don’t know what other way to describe it but they don’t want to treat u like a whore lol) I see they see u as their ideal marriage partner like physically aesthetically meet there criteria. It may start a bit boring like ur trying to figure them out or bring down the persona but towards the end I see a passionate make out session. I think the masculine will get riled up and u may see a part of their hidden side slip through but they will reel it back in. Both of u will feel better at the end then the beginning.
*********** they like ur attitude they may like when ur disinterested they like the chase they like knowing they can break down those walls to be the man that brings out ur feminine**************
That’s all I got quick short too the point maybe I’ll make more explicit lengthy detailed pick a card piles in the future ??
~~~Comment Below !!! What would u like me to include or do better for future readings so u guys can enjoy ? 💕~~
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hauntedjellyfishwitch-blog · 5 months ago
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Too Far.
Summary: He's like a wounded animal when he's angry, lashing out when he feels cornered. He's gone too far this time, snapped and said something he definitely didn't mean, so now he has to fix it.
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader (No use of Y/N)
TW: Fighting. Daryl is a dick, but not really, but also he is. Apologetic!Daryl. Alexandria Era. Sex.
A/N: Inspired by an excellent post by @love-norman which I'll link in the comments. I wasn't sure if you were okay with smut, so there's a fairly brief mention of sex but nothing overly explicit.
-
He’s a surprisingly effective communicator, once she can convince him to talk more and with enough time to work out exactly what ticks and grunts mean what. Daryl Dixon’s entire bag is self-sacrifice, so if he can assume that she needs him to tell her what’s going on in the always too busy head of his, he can do that for her without much care for how it impacts him. It’s not his most healthy coping mechanism but it certainly isn’t his worst and the reward? Oh, the reward is sweet. The reward is comfort and kindness and being held; being loved. What’s a moment of discomfort for a lifetime of her?
He's had to practice letting his walls down, slowly but surely since he met her, all the while failing to realise she was just digging her way underneath them. She didn’t ever pry, not really, not in any way that felt invasive, but she’d patiently wait him out; ask the question quietly, softly, and let him linger in the comfortable silence until he chose to answer back. Sometimes she’d work out the information without his need to speak at all; it happened the moment he realised he was fucked, that he was absolutely, irrefutably hers. She’d worked out exactly who he was as a person and he’d barely sad a word.
He’s attentive, and whilst that shocks him it comes as no surprise to anyone around him. He has spent his life fearing that he is exactly who he feared, but those who are lucky enough to consider themselves, correctly or not, close to Daryl never fear for much but his wellbeing. That he is a careful, thoughtful and tender partner surprises nobody but him. That’s not to say they don’t argue, the end of the world comes with its own set of tensions even without the usual relationship concerns, but he’s learnt not to bite first.
-
He shouldn’t have drunk anything, in hindsight, they’re both in bad shape, overwrought and under-fed and they shouldn’t have been at a fucking party, of all places. He definitely shouldn’t have had the four glasses of scotch Reg offered him on a mostly empty stomach. He can’t get used to the Alexandria walls, the houses he never could have afforded to breathe near let alone buy, the soft comforts he’d never had even before the end of the world. He’s never been to a party that hasn’t had a piss-stained couch or an overly full ashtray.
“You know that’s bullshit, Daryl, you’re being ridiculous!” She yells, firmly back in their own living room after he’d practically stormed out of Deanna’s. One minute they’re in full swing, standing talking about vacations from the old days with some new faces, the next his hand is dropping from around her waist and thudding from the front door like she’d said, ‘fuck off’ rather than the word ‘Canada’. He’d slammed the door behind them and snarled about how he would have embarrassed her and her fancy fucking vacations in ‘the real world’.
“Lil’ miss travel abroad and see th’ world cause she’s better than Daryl fuckin’ Dixon”
“What? That’s not-“
“I’m jus’ an idiot redneck with nothin’ an’ you’re this smart chick who saw the world, I get it, I ain’t dumb, th’ fuck would ya have wanted wit’ me?”
Her heart would shatter for him if she wasn’t seething quite so much, the sheer desperation in his words at odds with the tension in his body, clenched hands dragging through his finally clean hair. His eyes are stinging and he absolutely refuses to cry, has never gotten over thinking it makes him weak even when he feels weak.
“Daryl, what the fuck? Why are you being such an asshole?“
“Shut up, always yappin’ about stupid shit, fuckin’ hate ya sometimes!”
He turns quickly, wants to throw something, wants to scream, broad shoulders and harsh angles and all the wind leaves his body when he sees her flinch away from him. She’s cowers backwards, he feels like he’s going to be sick, body collapsing in on itself as he feels the anger leave his bones, replaced with ice laced panic. For a second, a horrifying second that feels ten times as long, he’s his old man. Shitfaced and angry with a glass in hand and if he had a mirror, he knows exactly whose face he’d see staring back at him.
“I would never hurt ya” he whispers, voice low and so broken, full of conviction as his breath hitches in the middle and crumbles at the end and she’d hug him if she wasn’t so shell shocked. Neither of them move for a beat, standing stock still as he trails his eyes over her, clocks the way her gaze refuses to lift to meet his. He can’t breathe. The room is too small for everything he’s feeling, like the walls are inching close and closer and the air is getting less. He tries to move like lightning but his whole body feels sluggish and slow as he inches past her and out the front door, flinching as it closes behind him and he wanders out into the street. He stares back at the house for a moment before deciding he needs a walk to clear his head.
When he comes back she’s sitting on the couch waiting for him, thumbs twiddling, head still down and worry eating her alive. He eases the door shut behind him, loud enough to tell her he’s home but soft enough to show he’s not mad. He wishes a door could convey remorse but it’s taken him long enough to be able to do it with words he doubts a block of wood would be able to in the timeframe he needs. He shucks off his boots, realising he shouldn’t have been wearing them in the house in the first place.
The fresh air has cooled his body enough that he feels less of the alcohol circulating around his system. He tries not to squeeze the flowers he’d plucked from the bush outside Aaron’s place as he stands with his back against the wood.
“’M sorry” he whispers before clearing his throat and repeating it at a higher volume. She turns her face towards him, looking at him over her shoulder. The anger is gone from her face, replaced with a dwelling worry that spikes at him, makes him replay his words over and over.
“What did I do?”
“Nothin’” he insists quickly, pauses before he realises he should say more, that she sometimes needs him to say more, they’ve talked about this “Ya didn’t, I promise”
“I’m sorry”
That does it, rips him from his safe haven by the door because he can’t stand the thought that she deserved anything he said to her, that she’d said anything wrong when he knows she hadn’t. Talking at a party, about stupid old-world stuff whilst her spare, wine glass free hand kept his back warm. She hadn’t said a damn thing wrong, and he’d scared her.
He strides over to the couch, coming round to kneel in front of her. He places the somewhat squashed flowers on the couch cushion next to her. He hovers a hand above her knee, placing it gently on the fabric of her dress when she doesn’t flinch away at the sight. He doesn’t want her to flinch ever again.
“Dun’ apologise to me when ya ain’t done nothin’ wrong”
“I’m so-“
“Dun’ ever apologise to me when i’s my fault. ‘S my shit an’ I shouldn’t take it out on ya”
She knows he loves her, has proven it time and time again, has put his body in front of hers in the face of almost certain death, would protect her with his last breath, would love her with it. But she knows she’ll never be able to unhear it, that some things you can’t take back, that she’ll always wonder, just a little bit if its true. Logic and love are very rarely intertwined.
“Okay”
He can still hear his fathers words ringing in his head, he knows, more than most, the power that words hold over people. He tries not to say anything he doesn’t mean, and he’ll admit he’s acerbic, pointed sure but never cruel, never unnecessarily unkind. He doesn’t know why tonight was different, but he takes her hands in his, locking his eyes on her so she understands.
“I dun’ get t’ speak t’ ya like that”
“No, you don’t” she agrees, voice firmer, back to her usual tone, the one he’s always loved going hand in hand with the certainty she can hold her own. She pauses, bringing his hands up to press a kiss to his knuckles, soothing because she’s terrified that after all this time, he’s still going to break them by thinking he’s not allowed to claim his hurt “You alright?”
He doesn’t answer, instead sitting back on his feet, raising a small hopeful smile at her.
“Tell me about th’ vacation”
“I don’t-“
“Please. Ya said ya still think ‘bout Canada all th’ time”
He really does want to know, he hadn’t been outside of Georgia before everything went down, and she’s mentioned travel but Canada hadn’t come up; he’s not sure if it was that, that set him off or that he felt inadequate in a room full of people with experiences he never got to have.
“I think it was my favourite trip. Packed a bag and went alone on a whim, found a lake in the forest with a little cabin. Just mountains and trees and lakes. It’s the most peaceful I’ve ever felt. I never wanted to mention it, I know you missed out on so much, but then everyone was talking and I-“
“Nah, go on, ‘S’alright”
“When Reg asked…I was going to say that’s what I picture, when I think of life outside of all of this, me and you in Canada”
“Ya think of that with me?” his voice is low, incredulous awe pulled tight at the edges, he was so busy feeling less than everyone else that he’d missed out on the fact she was thinking of him. She nods, smiling at him, working it out without him needing to say it, figuring out what drove him to snap without asking, under his walls and right in the centre of the internal world he’s built.
“We’d have a house, out near a lake with a wooden porch, and a dog, big scruffy one who likes to catch fish. We’d have coffee together overlooking the water in the morning. You’d work at the local garage, ‘cause you’re good with your hands and tools, wouldn’t have to deal with people all day, fix up all the bikes you’d secretly want...”
He’s staring her at in silence, watching her wistful face glow in the lamplight, he can barely breathe let alone find words knowing that she’s not just dreamt about a life with him, she’s thought it out in detail. He wants it, wants that life with her so badly it aches, thinks it’s the first time he’s wanted anything from life except to get through it.
“I’d work at the bar, play guitar at crappy open mic nights and you’d come for a beer after my shift to walk me home”
He hums, all the response he can manage, guilt chewing at him from the inside, clawing at his mind knowing that he’s taken his own problems out on her, told her he hates her all the while she’s dreaming of something so utterly fucking perfect.
“We’d make dinner together and dance in the living room, go camping at the weekends and make love all night long”
“In another life?” he chuckles, warm and full, knowing he’ll dream about this for the rest of his life.
“In every life…If you’d find me”
“I’d find ya”
-
He runs her a bubble bath, still amazed and confused that he can, that they’ve spent months on the road starving and struggling and here there’s a pantry that has bubble bath. The flowers from Aarons front garden are perched in a glass of water by the bed, the lamps turned off and the doors are locked up as tight as they can be. He’s insistent that he shows his apology, but he’s never had a way to do it outside these walls, nothing beyond words and affection and his experience with what women might like is limited at best.
He stands in the doorway, watching as she wraps herself in a dressing gown. He wonders idly if the amount of love he feels for her could kill him; he feels it so deeply in his bones that he physically isn’t sure it should be able to fit inside of one person. He feels it explode warmth around his body when she shuffles forward to rest her head on his chest.
“You know you don’t have to do all of this? I’m not mad”
Later, when he’s apologised again, reassured her and comforted her and she’s convinced him he’s worth loving in return, he takes them both to bed. Touches her with soft, repentant hands that have always been gentle, hands that are gentle exactly because he knows how dangerous they can be. Atonement seeping from every inch of him as he inches home inside of her, cherishes the contended sigh she lets out at the feel of him. He could never hate her, not even if he tried.
He stills when he bottoms out, rests his forehead against hers as her hips press against his firmly, dragging him as deep as he can go.
“Wha’ ya see in me, anyway?” he whispers against her lips, full of self-doubt.
She looks into him with an intensity that almost hurts, brings her hands to the sides of his face, makes sure he believes her as sincerely as she believes his apology.
“Everything”
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drabblesandsnippets · 3 months ago
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Safe
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Plus-size female reader
Background: TW: (Past) SA. During times when old traumatic memories start to pop up again (for whatever random reason/trigger), I find myself seeking out art that I can connect with to help me process things. Over the years, I’ve spent endless hours searching for stories/books where the main character is dealing with sexual trauma while also trying to have/maintain a healthy sex life - this is my attempt to write that type of story (without delving into the details of the trauma).
Summary: (4k) TW: (Past) SA. Bucky’s girlfriend craves intimacy while struggling with triggers and flashbacks.
Warnings: 18+ Only. TW: Mention of past SA/trauma (very vague), flashbacks (including during sex), anxiety. Established relationship. Bucky doesn’t always sleep with his prosthetic on (who else has this headcanon?). Fluff. Praise. Enthusiastic consent. Soft and sweet Bucky. Pet names (doll, sweetheart, baby). (Unprotected) PiV. Aftercare.
---------------------------
Trauma has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. 
One minute, you’re laughing and dancing in the kitchen with your boyfriend, his hands around your waist while he sings a song from the 40’s, and the next thing you know, you’re leaning over the sink, your knees nearly giving out as you try to remember how to breathe. 
All it took was one fleeting press of Bucky against your back and you were suddenly transported to a different time, your mind taking you back to those moments when your life irrevocably changed.
Other times, it’s less conspicuous. 
You’re on the back of his motorcycle, enjoying a peaceful ride outside the city, taking the scenic route to enjoy a bit more time together, when you’re hit with a wave of anxiety. Something in your brain made a connection to the past, and the only signal you can give Bucky is a tighter hold around his torso.
There’s not much that fazes him, given his own history and lingering struggles, but it doesn’t always make it easier. You oscillate between wanting to talk it all out and just wanting to pretend you’re fine - Bucky doing his best to meet you wherever you’re at, trying to ease your burden as best he can.
When you’re really lucky, it’s a momentary thing, your mind allowing the memory to fade so you can focus on the present. When that happens, you get to go weeks, sometimes months, without it happening again.
Of course, you’re not always that lucky. There are times when it invades the rest of your day, seeping into moments it has no business being a part of. Trying to control parts of your life that you swore it’d never touch. 
And then, there are times like now, when it sticks around. When it feels like the smallest thing sets you off, brief flashes of things you’d rather not have to think about playing out behind your eyes. Your body constantly on edge, giving you no reprieve, even when the memories finally fade out.
You’re not sure how many days it’s been, or what the initial trigger even was, your mind too preoccupied with trying not to take a trip down memory lane. The only lifeline you can cling to is knowing you have a partner who supports you as much as you support him, especially during dark times, refusing to give up on each other.
As painful as it all can be, it’s a familiar pattern, one you know you’ll eventually break free of, no matter how turbulent it gets. Until then, you ride the wave, doing everything you can to stay afloat, to allow yourself to continue to live your life, seek out the things that bring you joy and pleasure.
Yesterday was filled with laughter and adventures, Bucky taking you to some of his favorite places, whisking you off to the next destination when your anxiety started to get the better of you. As if he’s made it his mission to help you find your footing again.
Bucky’s love and patience is more than you could have ever hoped for, and as you wake up with him snuggled against your back, in the bed you’ve shared for years, the remnants of your dream trying to take hold, his name spills out of you, filling the dark silence.
In an instant, he’s awake enough to breathe your name in return, his voice husky with sleep as he asks, “You okay? S’wrong, doll?” Bucky’s aware it was probably another nightmare, or maybe a flashback, but he’s learned not to assume anything, giving you the space to decide if and how you want to be heard.
It’s not always that simple. Sometimes your voice can fail you, words getting trapped in your throat as you struggle to focus on the moment. You’re not even sure how to describe what’s happening, other than to admit that you feel on edge, like your skin is crawling, your body growing restless.
Bucky doesn’t need more explanation, his hand leaving its normal resting place on your thigh to slide along your back, his intention clear. His familiar touch draws the expected reaction out of you, a soft sigh of relief as a bit of tension leaves your body, his fingertips dancing across your shoulder blade.
Almost immediately you’re curling up, inviting him to keep going, his reverent touch spreading tingles across your skin. As intimate as it is, there’s nothing inherently sexual about it, Bucky wanting nothing more than to help you relax, to lull you back into a peaceful slumber.
Yet, your body seems to have other ideas, each tender caress of your back sending sparks of arousal to your core. It’s far from the first time, even over the past several days, but it’s yet another aspect of your relationship that gets thrown off balance during times like this.
Any other time, Bucky would read your subtle cues, happily accepting the silent invitation to touch more of you, to bring you unspeakable pleasure. Until you’re back on solid ground though, it’s not an option for him. He can’t risk pressuring you, the thought of adding more stress on top of everything you’re already struggling with too unbearable to him. 
You can’t exactly blame him. When the roles are reversed - when Bucky is dealing with his own trauma, ghosts of his past invading his mind - you follow his lead, offering him nothing more than a place to rest. A safe space, where he’s completely in control.
That’s what he’s been offering you since your brain decided to spend so much time in the past. Intimacy, in whatever form it takes, is on your terms, things never progressing unless you’re vocalizing your desires. 
Bucky’s patience is unyielding. No matter how much your soft, breathy noises of appreciation stir up his need for you, the path of his hand doesn’t alter. His fingertips continue to draw circles across your skin, exploring the contours of your back, as if he hasn’t already mapped every single inch of you. 
One of his favorite things is to touch you. To bring you comfort, to provide safety, and yes, when you allow him, to bring you pleasure. And right now, despite - or maybe because of - the turmoil broiling beneath the service, it’s what you need.
There’s a risk that things might overwhelm you. That you won’t be able to lose yourself in the moment. You try not to think about that, telling yourself that you at least deserve to try, knowing Bucky will help you through it, wherever it leads.
Your request for more remains subtle, a slight shift of your hips, pressing back into him, the evidence of his own arousal growing against your ass. Nothing changes for Bucky, his gentle touch following a trail up along your spine to the back of your neck, his thumb stroking a particular tense spot, refusing to take advantage of your trust in him.
There’s a part of you that wonders if you should just allow yourself to succumb to the sleep that’s threatening to overtake you again, but you miss him. And, as he drags the back of his fingers down to the dip of your waist, you moan softly, your thighs tensing with need, seeking out friction.
Bucky knows exactly what he’s doing to you, each pass of his hand along sensitive flesh making you tremble, goosebumps spreading across your skin. It’s not long before he’s able to smell you, the knowledge that his touch turns you on so much nearly enough to make him lose his resolve.
Somehow he remains steadfast, even as you shift again, arching your back and angling your hips to find more pressure, his erection trapped against the curve of your ass. There’s an ache building inside of him to grind against you, to give you what your body is so obviously asking for, your shuddering sighs encouraging him to keep touching you, waiting for permission that he knows might not come.
It’s more than okay if it doesn’t, Bucky content with easing your burdens in whatever way you’ll allow him. It’s a privilege he’ll never take for granted. 
As is the privilege of getting to bring you more pleasure. And the moment you whisper his name, followed by a barely audible utterance of “please,” he’s asking you what you need. Desperate to give you everything you desire.
It provides the catalyst to empower you to ask for more, telling him how good he feels as you shamelessly rub against him, Bucky’s own heavy breaths and words of love spurring you on. The gentle caress of his fingers never cease, tentatively dipping lower to tease along your hip, and you leave no room for doubt, quickly letting out a needy moan of “yes.”
His reaction comes as no surprise, your consent making him groan, his hard cock throbbing against you. You’re about to reach back, wanting to feel more of him, when you’re triggered without warning, your breath catching and your back stiffening, unwanted images flashing in your head. 
“Are you okay?”
The concern in his voice keeps you in place, choosing to ignore your body’s instinct to pull away, forcing yourself to breathe through it. As the silence tries to consume you, threatening to derail everything, Bucky’s hand on your hip helps you get the words out, the soft clearing of your throat letting him know a response is forthcoming.
“Yeah,” you finally whisper into the dark, grateful when he doesn’t move, his thighs flush against yours. “I don’t- I’m okay, I don’t wanna stop.” Before he can ask if you’re sure, your hand comes into contact with his arm, your fingers sliding down to gently take hold of his wrist, refusing to second guess yourself as you guide his hand higher up your body, showing him exactly what you want.
The heat of his hand cupping your breast brings you fully back into the present with him, ripping a strangled moan out of you, your back arching to grind harder against him.
“Fuck,” he exhales heavily, Bucky wasting no time in following your lead, your erect nipple pinched between his long fingers, his palm squeezing your tit as he murmurs soft words of praise. His ears are trained on you, listening for every noise he elicits, from the loud moans to the barely audible gasps, ensuring his touch remains welcome.
It’s everything you could possibly want, his leg soon finding its way between yours, Bucky barely getting a chance to ask you if it’s okay before you’re begging him to keep going. Your whine of pleasure drowns out his own noises of appreciation, his thigh pressed to your slick heat, his rock hard cock starting to leak pre-cum.
“You feel so good,” you whisper, one hand gripping the edge of the bed, giving you leverage to grind on his thigh, the fingers of your other hand still gripping his wrist, keeping him pinned to you.
“So do you, baby,” he moans in your ear, nudging his leg higher to find a steady rhythm against your swollen pussy, intent on drawing this out as long as you’ll let him. “Love when you ride my thigh like this, when you let me feel how wet you are.”
Your body takes over, chasing the high, Bucky letting you set the pace, his large hand palming your heavy breasts, the occasional pinch and playful tug of your nipples building you higher. He never lets the silence settle for too long, filling the moments between heavy breaths and barely coherent words with a string of praises, reminding you how much he loves every inch of you.
The darkness seems to amplify your senses, allowing you to get lost in the sensations, your walls pulsing with every delicious grind against your clit. You’re on the verge of begging him to fuck you, the words on the tip of your tongue when a wave of tension takes over, ruining all your plans.
Your hips falter the same time Bucky’s do, his gentle assurance of, “it’s okay,” calming your racing heart before it can beat out of control. Keeping his hand pressed to your stomach, you breathe through the confusion, trying to pinpoint the trigger before deciding to focus on how to move forward instead.
A request for more comes in the form of asking him to turn on a light, the need to see him overpowering everything else, and Bucky’s climbing off the bed, a lingering kiss and touch to keep you company until he returns. You’re kicking the covers off just as he clicks the adjoining bathroom light on, your eyes adjusting quickly to the soft glow now illuminating the room.
The irresistible image of you waiting for him has him returning to the bed within record time, his feet only pausing when his gaze drifts to his prosthetic arm, safe in its resting place in the corner of the room. He doesn’t always wear it to bed, your sex life never suffering without it, but he knows how much you enjoy having both his arms wrapped around you, the slight furrow of his brow telling you exactly what he’s thinking.
You interrupt the unspoken question, your voice pulling Bucky’s attention back to you, your unprompted words taking him by surprise. “I wanna ride you.”
“Oh really?” he asks, the former subject easily forgotten, a grin spreading at the eager nod of your head. He doesn’t need to be told twice, jumping onto the bed with a flourish, landing on his back with a soft thud, a giddy look plastered across his face.
“You’re ridiculous,” you laugh, getting to your knees beside him, not missing the way his eyes travel along your curves, the peak of his tongue wetting his lips giving you momentary pause, your thighs tensing with need.
Bucky’s obviously thinking the same thing, his laughter sending a thrill down your spine as he asks, “Whatcha thinking about ridin’, doll?”
You enjoy having his head between your thighs just as much as he does, the teasing flick of his tongue along his top teeth having you shaking your head at him. “Your cock, if that’s okay with you,” you tell him, the playful grin on your face masking your concern of being triggered again if you can’t see his eyes.
“Oh, no complaints from me,” he emphatically promises, offering out his hand to help you climb on top, your worry not lost on him. You’ve been through so much together, Bucky having learned to read your body, understanding your emotions even better than you sometimes. As obsessed as he is with you, his mouth watering at the thought of tasting you, he won’t push for it, especially not tonight.
Your bodies fit together perfectly, puzzle pieces interlocking like you were made for each other, his thick cock stretching you slowly with each roll of your hips, taking him inch by glorious inch. His firm grip on your thigh encourages you to keep going, his audible grunts and gasps filling your ears, unable to tear your eyes away from him.
“Jesus,” Bucky pants, his lashes fluttering every time you let him slide in just a bit deeper, his hips tense underneath you, determined to give you complete control. “Feel so good, baby. God, I love you.”
You’re quick to nod your head, your hands finding their way to his chest, allowing you to find an easy rhythm, your eyes nearly rolling back when he bottoms out inside of you. “Oh fuck,” you whine, your hips moving on autopilot, grinding in slow circles, soon finding the perfect pressure against your clit that has you trembling on top of him.
There’s something incredibly intoxicating about being in charge of your own pleasure, especially when Bucky could easily overpower you, the occasional twitch of his hips signaling just how hard he’s working to control himself.
It leaves you breathless, your body finding a quicker pace, the head of his cock hitting that spot deep inside of you that has you seeing stars. When his name starts to fall past your lips like a prayer, his thighs tense, shifting underneath you, the new angle forcing out the words burning the back of your throat, “Bucky… baby, please. Please, fuck me.”
“Co’mere,” he growls, pulling you down on top of him, your palms finding purchase against the mattress on either side of his head, his eyes never leaving yours. With his arm wrapped around your waist, hand splayed across your lower back, he starts a slow pace, watching the pleasure play out across your face.
Bucky pulls out until your walls pulse, a prideful grin twitching at the corners of his mouth at how greedily you welcome him back in, his eyes darkening when he bottoms out, your thrusts soon meeting his.
“That’s it,” he pants, nodding his head, his hold on you grower firmer, doing his best to keep the right amount of friction against your clit. “Just like that, take whatever you need baby.” He’s aware your muscles are going to grow tired soon, your knees likely needing a break before long, but he refuses to stop until you tell him to, gritting his teeth with effort to hold his own orgasm back.
You’ve lost track of how many times you’ve come close to the edge yourself, only for the feeling to fade, your mind threatening to spiral into unwanted territory. Until this very moment, you’ve done a good job at holding the unwanted feelings at bay, your desire for intimacy and connection driving your actions.
Except, that’s suddenly no longer the case, a particularly sharp burst of pleasure has you closing your eyes and before you realize it, everything’s come to a standstill. The unwarranted apology dies on the tip of your tongue, a heavy sigh of frustration leaving you as you quickly shake your head, sitting up to try to regain some semblance of composure.
“Sweetheart,” Bucky murmurs, taking hold of your hand to bring it to his lips, brushing a kiss across your knuckles to soothe your anxiety. “Tell me what you need.”
You breathe heavily, your bodies still connected, Bucky nestled deep inside of you, your walls spasming uncontrollably around him. There’s no reason to push through this, to ignore your body’s obvious discontent, no matter how much you want to pretend you can handle this.
It’d be unfair to subject either of you to that inevitable discomfort. The only thing you can do is face it, admit that you’re not as strong as you’d like to admit, your independent nature wanting to fight you the entire way. A gentle clearing of your throat, followed by a rough swallow and you’re bringing your awareness back to the present, your eyes finally opening to meet his once again.
One look at him and it’s easy to find your voice, his warm smile breaking down your walls like they’re paper-thin. “I need to feel you on top of me.” To feel the comfort of his weight, the safety of his embrace.
Bucky’s more than happy to oblige, trusting that you understand your own needs, knowing you’ll tell him if it becomes too much. Guiding you back down on top of him, his lips find yours, pouring all his love and devotion into the simple act as he secures an arm around you, cradling you against him in order to roll you both over.
It’s not as seamless as either of you anticipate, your tense muscles and abundant wetness causing him to slip out. Neither of you are able to hide your exhales of disappointment, Bucky’s grin meeting your own when he lines himself back up, the head of his cock nudging your entrance, giving you every opportunity to change your mind.
As grateful as you are, it’s not needed, and your hips shift, telling him everything he needs to know, the nod you give him alleviating any lingering doubt. With his weight settling on top of you, his body aligned with yours, he slides his arm underneath your shoulder to cradle the back of your neck in his palm and finally surges forward, sinking back into your tight heat. 
Your unbridled reaction spurs him on, your gasps and cries of exquisite pleasure causing heat to race up his spine, his hips setting a familiar pace. He can’t stop himself from praising you, watching you start to fall apart for him, your walls fluttering around him with every deep stroke, his body grinding hard against your clit.
You cling to him, nails digging into his back, your orgasm just out of reach, sweat covering your body, the desperation written all over your face. You’re so close, Bucky’s loud groans and animalistic grunts usually enough to send you spiraling, his words causing more arousal to coat his cock, but there’s still something holding you back, your body on the verge of tensing again.
“Tell me I’m okay,” you gasp, your eyes locked on his, your hips meeting his thrusts, your body begging for release.
“You’re okay,” he promises, dropping his forehead to yours, his heavy breath fanning your face, using every ounce of energy to not succumb to the pleasure threatening to overwhelm him. “You’re okay, my sweet girl. You’re safe, I’m not going anywhere.”
His steady stream of assurance has you crying out, tears pricking your eyes, the familiar tingle starting to build to unbearable heights, surely about to tease you again. Bucky refuses to give up, fucking you through it, maintaining the perfect, consistent speed, his cock bottoming out each time, the sounds of your bodies meeting in a heated rush adding to the sensations coursing through you.
“There we go,” he groans, his grip on the back of your neck tightening, holding you in place as you start to tighten around him, refusing to let you push him out. “You feel so fucking good, sweetheart, just let go for me. You’re safe, you’re right where you belong.”
That’s all it takes, your mouth opening in a silent scream as your entire body tenses, your limbs wrapped around him, his movements never faltering, letting you ride out the intense waves taking over your senses. You’re not even aware when your voice returns to you, a string of incoherent noises filling the air as you come hard, sobbing from the onslaught of pleasure, Bucky not missing a single second of the glorious vision unfolding underneath him.
He doesn’t allow himself to let go until he’s sure it’s what you want, your gasping pleas triggering his orgasm. With a groan of your name, he pulls you into a fiery kiss, his hips thrusting just a few more times as his pulsing cock fills you with his release.
You've been reduced to heavy pants and trembling limbs, Bucky's body shaking against yours, more sweet utterances of love and devotion being shared as you both return back to reality.
For the first time in too long, you’re able to stay relaxed in his embrace, refusing to let him move for several moments, the weight of him pressing down on you keeping you grounded. It’s not until your lungs start to ache from lack of deep breaths that you relent, letting Bucky roll you both over, your bodies continuing to draw comfort from each other.
There’s no rush to clean up, no dire need to leave the bed, the two of you remaining there for as long as you want, your mind at ease, Bucky’s steady breaths and gentle caress of your back almost lulling you back to sleep. 
This time, there’s no need to fight it. You let yourself drift off, peaceful rest once again overtaking you, Bucky content to hold you for the rest of the night, promising to keep you safe wherever your dreams take you.
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Comments & reblogs very much appreciated!! 🩶
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literarylesbo · 23 days ago
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spike’s changing perception of love and his actions surrounding how to show it is such an interesting concept…
as a human, spike, or william, was never shown love in a true way. he loved his mother, and he took care of her. he showed love to a girl in his town, and he was made fun of and shut down. he was a bit pathetic (and i don’t mean this as an insult, it’s just one of the only words to describe what i’m trying to convey). when he becomes a vampire, he turns his mother in an act of love to cure her sickness (as another post has mentioned before), but she becomes cruel, and in another act of love, he kills her. he ultimately ends the life of the one person he cared about completely as a human.
then there is the power dynamic between drusilla and spike, as i think there always is between the sire and the sired. she knows more about the world and changes him to be like her. despite her mental state, she has the upper hand about what they are and how they should act. that isn’t to say that they don’t truly love each other; it just presents another obstacle.
i am a spuffy shipper all the way, but I do love dru and spike’s relationship as well. however, it is built on obsession and violence. spike’s birth as a vampire is due to his death as a human by dru’s hands (or fangs lol). they do grand acts of violence for each other. they are aggressive and passionate with one another. they love each other (this can be seen not just through their actions but through the episode with the judge when he says he can sense love and jealousy in both dru and spike). but this love is not built on things that we associate love with. it is built on violence, sex, passion, but also a strong sense of loyalty.
when spike realizes he loves buffy, he is taking his own perception of love that he has developed throughout his life. from what we’ve seen, he does not have experience as a human, so most of his definition is being taken from his time as a vampire. we see this deep caring he has for buffy, but he has no way to convey it properly. he kidnaps her and threatens to kill dru to prove his devotion to her, by killing the person he loved first.
however, he sees the fault in his ways. he’s fiercely loyal to her by the fifth season. he’s willing to sacrifice himself for dawn; he’s willing to put his life on the line in a way he hasn’t for anyone before. he counts the days buffy is dead and continues to fight with her friends. he helps her fight her way out of her depression.
he tells her that she belongs in the darkness with him because he truly thinks that. what friend was really trying to help her after they resurrected her? do i agree with him? no, but also what image of healthy love does he have to look back on? none.
(i do not take into account the actions of “seeing red”. in all honesty, i act like they didn’t happen because of the reasons behind it being petty and cruel *cough cough joss* and sending james to therapy etc etc etc, just a disclaimer)
so spike gradually learns how to love. properly. he gets his soul back to prove he can be the type of man she could love. to be worthy. and that is something so beautiful. he didn’t force buffy to show him how to love. he did it himself. for her. he learned how to love with and without his soul. he made the decision to get his soul back when he still didn’t have one.
his character is so interesting to me because he is a goofy guy but he’s also deep and deeply flawed. i have a lot of thoughts obviously but this explains some.
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wordsarelife · 1 year ago
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—call it what you want
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pairing: theo nott x fem!potter!reader
summary: in a school filled with people that have a watchful eye on them like they're celebrities, theo and y/n try to keep their relationship private
notes: this just came to me and i thought it would be cute! also theo calls reader belle as a nickname sometimes
-> let me know if you want to know more about their relationship, i think they're my favs now
"can you turn the page, please?" you were laying cheek down on the table in the library, your boyfriend next to you
he sighed before he did turn the page. "we could just stop studying if you're tired" theo suggested
"absolutely not!" you protested sitting up straight suddenly and nearly loosing your balance, theo catching you before you could fall off the chair.
"why are you so determined to study till you're sleeping?" theo asked, while he pushed you back into a comfortable position "i don't even think this is healthy"
"i just know what all of them think" you narrowed your eyes at two whispering two years across from you
"okay" theo said confused, following your line of sight "and what would that be?"
"oh look at y/n potter" you changed your voice to sound more like one of the whispering people in the school "she's doing worse in class than her brother since she got a boyfriend. proves that you can't be smart and pretty"
theo broke into laughter at that and was immediately shushed by madam pince. he quickly apologized before he shook his head at you. "no one is thinking that"
"really?" you asked sarcastically "because i just heard someone say exactly that on the way here"
theo sighed "so what's the plan, baby? you're gonna break up with me?"
you shook your head and rolled your eyes "obviously not"
"okay, then what?" before you could answer, the girls across from you started giggling and theo send them an irritated look, which seemed to be enough for them to leave you alone. they quickly gathered their books and left the library, but not without sending another look in your direction
you ignored what had just happened and buried your face back into the potions book. theo gently pushed the fallen down hair out of your face. "i just have to study until i'm sure that i'll be better than harry. i don't want to be the one whose grades suffer only because she had sex"
theo tried no to laugh, because he noticed that you were actually concerned about that. "i know that you're incredibly smart, belle" theo mused "you will be amazing without studying the entire night, and even if harry is a little better than you, it's just one class, isn't it?"
"i suppose"
"good" theo closed the book and slid it under his arm, standing up and holding his hand out for you to take "let's get you back to your common room"
you sighed, but nodded and took your boyfriends hand, who walked you directly to the gryffindor common room. "don't think about what they're saying anymore, okay?" theo said softly "only you and me know the truth and no one else has to know it"
"i know" you smiled "it just feels so weird that all they seem to do is talk about us"
"we knew that they would, sweetheart" theo reminded you "you're the chosen ones sister and i'm like your very own forbidden fruit"
"no, no, no" you giggled "you will not get away with calling yourself my forbidden fruit" you laughed again and theo smiled, happy that his plan to make you laugh succeeded
"fine" he nodded. he held the book out for you to take "that reminds me.." his hand wandered to his pocket, taking out a small box
"theo...." you said slowly
he detected what you thought immediately "i'm not going to propose" he deadpanned, before he held the box in your direction, taking the book once again so you could look into it.
"theo" you said, but happy this time. in the box was a beautiful gold necklace with the letter 't'
"i don't mean it in a possessive way" he explained "it's just.. eh i don't know.. i'm always next to you, okay? i'm always on your team" he paused, not being able to interpret your expression "you know what? it's stupid, you don't have to keep it" he outstretched his hand, ready to grab the box, but you pulled it away before he could reach it.
"are you daft?" you asked and theo gulped "i love it" his smile returned as quickly as it had vanished a few seconds before. "can you help me put it on?"
you turned around and theo quickly closed the chain around your neck, plastering a featherlight kiss on it, before he took your hair that you had been holding and gently pulled it down. you turned around to him and smiled "thank you" you kissed him and theo felt like his heart could burst.
"of course, belle" he smiled and waved you off, when you entered your common room. then he turned around and walked back to his own.
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bunny-jpeg · 2 months ago
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kink-o-ween - day twenty-two
george russell - mirror sex
tags: pwp/smut, insecure!reader, mirror sex, praise, established relationship, loving!george, teasing, doggy style, pull out method
a/n: heyyy, kinkoween is being finished (yay), october was a rough month for me. but i am back and ready to post the rest of it! thank you for the support and patience, it has really benefited me both emotionally and creatively!
kink-o-ween master-list
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"what do you mean, my love?" george looked at you. an expression of worry crossed his handsome features.
you shifted from one foot to another. it felt weird to say it out loud. you felt your cheeks grow hot. this felt stupid, but you swallowed down the feeling. you looked at him and said, "george, i'm not pretty."
his expression changed a little and he reached for you. his hands so kind on your face as he looked you in the eyes. he replied, "well, of course you're not pretty. you're beautiful. the most beautiful woman i've ever seen or met."
the mirror in your shared bedroom with george was full length. it was good to make sure everything looked as it should without cutting anything off. you looked in it almost every day before you left the apartment. now it took on a different meaning as george put you on your knees in front of it.
he was behind you. you were still in the sundress that showed y a healthy amount of cleavage. a nice display for your lover. and george loved to sight of you in it. an off-white with apples on it.
"so beautiful." he said softly, "so, so beautiful." why don't you see what i see?"
"my chicken wing arms. how round my face is." you started, but were silenced as george turned your head to kiss you passionately on the lips.
"i don't want to hear it." he said, "so what? you look amazing in every angle. you're perfect in every angle i see of you."
you blushed before george gave you another sweet kiss. he then started to unzip the dress. while it looked great on you, it would look even better on the floor.
"you're so pretty... no, no, beautiful." he said softly as he pulled the sleeves of the dress off of you shoulders. he kissed the back of the left one and you made a soft noise.
"george."
he only responded by placing his lips on your neck as he wrapped his strong arms around you. he was always your protector. your lover. there was no need to have insecurities when he was with you. he then said, "look at yourself." he cooed and it made you shiver with want.
you shifted a little on your knees before you helped george get you out of your dress. george loved you in a good sundress, but to see if off of you. naked before him. it made him do a double take.
"look at you." he said, "look how beautiful you are." he tilted your head to the side to press a tender kiss at your pulse point.
"i just see myself." you said he rubbed himself up against you. you knew his cock was straining against his expensive jeans.
"say something nice about yourself." he said, "be nice to yourself." he knew it was hard for you. so he had to get creative about ways to help you gain a bit of confidence.
"george."
"just one thing." he egged you on as he held you in his arms. you were near nude in front of the mirror. exposed to yourself and your lover.
you replied, "i guess. i like my smile." you felt heat in your core. you felt the throb between your legs.
your lover kissed your temple, "excellent." he said with love. he got you out of your undergarments. this his clothes. both of you naked in front of the mirror. george caught glimpses of your naked for. he held onto your hips for a moment before he kissed your neck and shoulders.
"honey." you said as you ended up on your elbows with your hips raised for him. it excited your lover. the driver was enamored by you, in all the ways he could be.
he tilted your hips a little more and he sank his cock into you. inch by inch as he eased into you. he cursed under his breath for a moment before he said, "i love you. every inch of you. you drive me insane. i never want anyone else in my life." the fire fueled in his stomach as he started to move against you.
"you flirt." you moaned as you held onto the edge of the rug under you. the piece was expensive enough that you weren't going to get rug burn by the end of it.
george chuckles and said with love, "it's not flirting when it's the truth."
you moaned, "i love you too." and shifted your hips a little to get more comfortable.
"say something else about yourself. i want to hear it." he groaned as he moved against you. he could see the pleasure across your face in the reflection of the mirror.
your flushed a little bit. you felt the sting of heat in your ears, "just one other thing?" you asked as he thrusted.
"just one more."
you looked in the mirror as you were fucked with steady thrusts. you glimpsed at yourself and licked your lips, "i love my eyes. they're not the most interesting, but they're pretty. and i like that i can always make you laugh."
george smiled before he leaned over you further and kissed your face in places he could reach, "see was that so bad? saying nice things about yourself." his tone was a little teasing and it made your core feel warm.
you shuddered and moaned a little louder as you felt immense pleasure. you were aroused by this. to see your boyfriend make love to you.
"i love you." you moaned.
george shakily exhaled, "i love you too, every chance i get. i always need to tell you how much you mean to me." his words made you moan, your pleasure coursed through your body and in your blood. you clutched tightly onto the rug as you kept your gaze on the mirror in front of you.
"look at yourself." he purred as he worked his cock into you. your wetness left him feeling hot all over. he glanced at the mirror. he licked his lips at the sight of you.
he wished you saw what he saw everyday. how stunning you were both in appearance and also personality. you were a fire in george's soul, the inferno in his blood as he continued to rock against you. praise flowed freely from his lips and his words warmed your soul.
"you're so beautiful." he said as he moved against you nice and slow. his thrusts had force behind them, but he was gentle with you. you moaned and george kissed your bare back.
"please, fuck, honey."
"you can't stop me praising you." he remarked, "i want you to feel like you're on top of the world. that no one could stop you." he said as moved a little faster.
you could feel the pleasure bubble in your core as the rush flowed through you. you could feel the intense feeling all over you. you moaned, "i love you." you had no other words.
"and i love you." he promised as he worked his hips against your sweet cunt. your pussy felt amazing around his cock. george looked in the mirror at the sight of you drenched in pleasure.
you looked at the two of you, caught the sight of your lover staring. even now he looked s handsome. he pushed hair out of his face and the two of you continued to make love on the floor. your knees ached a little from the position but at that moment you didn't care.
"my beautiful girl." he said with heat tinged in his voice as he felt his orgasm close.
you were the first to finish with your face against the rug. you held onto it and moaned loudly. george worked your hips as he came soon after. hr pulled out and finished on your back with a tight groan. he shuddered and his cock twitched when he saw his cum covering your back.
"so, do you believe me now? that i think you're beautiful." he panted heavily. as he leaned back on his heels for a moment to admire you. he wiped the sweat from his forehead. it wasn't long before he was up off the ground to get tissues to clean your back with.
you admitted, "yes... i believe you." and when george returned he kissed you on the cheek before he cleaned you up. you melted a little at the touches.
if anyone thought you were beautiful, it would be george. and as you got your underwear back on, you admired yourself in the mirror. and maybe george was right. you were beautiful. <3
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number1mingyustan · 8 months ago
Text
-Cuffing Season-
His Friend
Tumblr media
boyfriend!mingyu x fem!reader x boyfriendsbestfriend!jungkook
Warnings: established relationship, kissing, cursing, explicit smut, striptease, size kink, threesome, unprotected sex, protected sex, oral (f.+m.), gagging, fingering (f.), squirting, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, a lot of sexual tension, mentions of a safe word, surprisingly healthy communication
Summary: (What SZA said)²
Word Count: 5.3k
_______________________________________________
(a/n: ive never written anything like this, it's not really my thing but before i was a carat, i was an army and i fear that will never change)
The city lights shine brightly outside. Beams of red, green, white, and occasional blue reflect from the buildings surrounding you. You don't pay it much mind, thoughts elsewhere as the rays of light zip past your line of sight.
The train is moving pretty fast, and the window in front of you isn't all that clean, making it difficult to pinpoint where the lights outside are coming from. It's where everyone must be, you figure, considering the car train is empty.
Mostly empty anyway.
The two men sitting in front of you are engaging in conversation without you. You're standing, hands gripping the silver pole beside you as a means of support. Your eyes shift between your boyfriend and his best friend as they laugh and talk.
The vehicle suddenly comes to a stop, brakes working at full force to let the passengers off from the other cars. The sudden shift causes you to lose your balance, stumbling over.
A pair of strong arms act fast, reaching out to hold you up in your drunken state.
"Be careful," Mingyu mumbles, pulling you in by your legs to hold you up. Your hands move from the silver pole to the hand holder above you as you step closer to your boyfriend.
"I am being careful," you furrow your brows.
"Sure you don't wanna sit?" Jungkook asks, looking at the space between him and Mingyu that you occupied only a few minutes ago.
"I'm fine," You protest, walking away from the two men in front of you and back to the pole in the middle of the train. You spin around it mindlessly, nearly losing your balance again and giggling to yourself.
Your mind is a bit hazy, high off of pure fun, and maybe one too many drinks. What started off as innocent fun has slowly segwayed into much more.
You're not entirely sure how you even ended up here.
See, Jungkook and Mingyu have been best friends for years. They met when they were teens and have been pretty much inseparable since. But as they grew older, their lives took them in different places.
Mingyu stayed closer to home, but Jungkook has a more adventurous spirit. He moved about an hour away into the city, and opened up his own tattoo shop.
Of all Mingyu's friends, Jungkook had to be your favorite.
Of course the two kept in contact with one another, but they didn't see each other as much because of the distance. With both of them working and Mingyu's job being so demanding, it had been months since they'd actually seen each other. There were time where their schedules aligned and plans could be made.
Like tonight, the two made plans in the city and you decided to tag along. You found somewhere in the middle, hopped on the train and spent the night out drinking and singing karaoke. The time flew and before you knew it, people started to go home and you realized it was time to head back.
But you guys hadn't seen Jungkook in so long and you were having such a good time, didn't really want the night to end. So you invited him back to your place for the night, making it obvious that you didn't want the fun to end. Matter of fact, it hadn't even really begun yet.
You scan over his features, noticing his facial expressions and body language. You can tell something is weighing on his mind. He pulls at the piercing on his bottom lip with his teeth and his leg hasn't stopped bouncing.
You all know what's going to happen tonight. There's been a thick tension brewing the entire night and you've all silently agreed to it. You wonder if he's having second thoughts already.
"Something on your mind, Kook?" You ask softly, walking over to the tattooed man.
He lifts his head up, meeting your half-lidded eyes. You take in his features, roaming over the piercings littering his ears, lip, and eyebrow. His hair has gotten longer too, forming into light waves. He looks good.
He blinks at you, blush creeping up his cheeks and nose. The drinks he had earlier already had him flushed, but now you're the one causing it.
"All good, Shorty," Jungkook flashes you a grin.
You return it, lips pulling upward at the sound of the nickname. He's always used it with you, understandably so. You were much shorter than the two men before you, and even Mingyu towered over Jungkook.
You pat his head lightly, running your fingers through his soft hair. "Okay."
He watches as you make your way back to the pole, spinning around it playfully. The skirt you have on is entirely too short, and it's doing a poor job of covering you as your body rotates around the pole.
Jungkook's leg bounces faster and he crosses his arms over his broad chest. Fuck.
The train comes to another stop moments later and you lock eyes with Mingyu. He stands to his feet, wrapping an arm around your waist.
"C'mon Kook, it's our stop."
___________________
It's been a while since Jungkook stepped foot in this apartment. You've decorated it nicely, surely it was your doing and your doing only. Mingyu's never had a creative eye. There's pictures of the two of you scattered across the space and Jungkook can't help but feel like he's intruding.
It's a fleeting thought though, he doesn't dwell on it. He buries it deep inside, beneath the alcohol pumping in his veins, clouding his thoughts and filling it with the desire brewing in his cock. Jeon Jungkook is not a man who lives a life of regrets.
He averts his gaze from the pictures, following you into the bedroom. You take off your black leather jacket and hang it up. "You can have a seat," You tell him.
He sits down on your bed, facing you. Like a man, his long legs take up most of the space as he sits wide.
"You want something to drink?" You ask, leaning against the door frame.
Jungkook nods. "Something strong."
You raise an eyebrow. "Having second thoughts already?"
"Never, Shorty," He grins.
He eyes you shamelessly. You've ditched your jacket, exposing the little black croptop you had on. He's seeing now that you decided to go braless, perked nipples peaking through the material of your short. You're not wearing your boots anymore either, removing the extra height you had earlier and placing you directly in his line of sight. His eyes are clouded with lust, scanning over your frame as he nibbles on the piercing on his lower lip.
Just as you turn to walk out of the room, Mingyu's body appears, blocking you from fully exiting.
"Sit down, sweetheart," Mingyu nods his head toward the bed.
"I'm serving our guest," You cock your head to the side defiantly.
Mingyu towers over you and his eyes grow intimidating. He narrows his eyes, erasing every hint of amusement in his expression. Goosebumps rise up along your skin and your body shivers.
"Don't need your drunk ass dropping any glasses, I'll get it," He says, holding you by the shoulders. He turns you around and disappears to another part of the house.
Almost immediately, you're sitting down on the bed. You're obedient, Jungkook takes a mental note.
MIngyu comes back a few moments later holding two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. He fills up both the glasses and hands one to Jungkook, keeping the other for himself.
You frown. "Gyu."
Mingyu takes a sip, allowing the brown liquor to leave a satisfying burn in his throat. "Hmm?"
"Did you consider that I might have wanted a glass?" You huff.
"Don't throw a tantrum in front of our guest," Mingyu says, extending his glass to you. "You don't even like whiskey."
He's right, but it doesn't stop you from taking the glass out of his hand and taking a sip for yourself. It goes down smoothly, but leaves an ache in your throat and a bad taste on your tongue.
Mingyu takes the glass back and takes another sip for himself. "Kook," Mingyu says.
The tatted man averts his attention to your boyfriend. "Ground rules."
"No hickeys, she's still my girl and I don't want you leaving any marks," Mingyu says.
Jungkook nods. "Okay."
"Can't cum inside, or on her face, shit's disrespectful. You can be rough, but not too rough. No hitting or anything like that.," Mingyu continues.
You can't help but sit there smiling to yourself. The lisp in your boyfriend's
"I wouldn't do that to your girl, Gyu." Jungkook interjects.
"I know, but I just wanna make it clear. I trust you, but I gotta make sure she's safe and comfortable. Pretty much anything else is fine if she doesn't have any problems."
"You got any problems?" Jungkook inquires.
"As long as she's okay with it, I'm okay with it. Just listen to her. Slow down if she needs to slow down, and stop if she says stop. She's submissive, but she's in control no matter what.
He looks at you. "If it's too much, you say something. Use your safeword. What's your safe word, gorgeous?"
"Mango."
Mingyu nods. "Good. You heard that, Kook?"
Jungkook shifts on the bed, visibly growing more comfortable in your presence. "Loud and clear."
"This isn't something I'd normally do, but we're all a little drunk and Kook, I trust you with my life. Y/n and I have talked about it before, so don't make me regret it."
Oh? You guys have been planning this? Jungkook thinks to himself. He knew you were comfortable around him and he's heard in great detail from Mingyu about your very active sex life. But to think you'd actually discussed this? He's kind of flattered.
"Never," Jungkook blinks. "I'll be careful."
Mingyu sits down on the bed, large body dipping into the mattress as he makes himself comfortable. He takes another sip from his glass and his gaze doesn't leave you. "Go ahead, Sweetheart."
You stand before them both, in a similar position to how you were on the train. Smirking, you bend over and pull your black miniskirt off before tossing it. You now stand in just your black lace thong and your shirt.
Both men watch you in a trance. It stirs a feeling of boldness in you, having their attention like this. Confidence pumps through your veins as your hands dance over the fabric of your top. You pull it off slowly and toss it onto the ground.
You stand in front of them wearing nothing but your lacy black thongs. Both of them are silent, eyes locked in on you and only you. Mingyu's seen this view plenty of times, but in this moment he's seeing you through Jungkook's eyes. Like it's his first time and he can't look away.
There's just something about you.
You leave a little to the imagination, climbing onto the bed without stripping yourself bare. Your knee dips into the mattress and you wedge yourself between the two men.
You lean your head in toward Jungkook, pressing your nose against his. He lets out a ragged breath as the tension in the room expands. You lick your lips slowly before removing the gap separating you.
Jungkook's kisses are different. They're slower, but by no means hesitant. He kisses you like he cherishes you, doesn't want it to be a fleeting moment. He takes his time, appreciating the way you taste and the way you feel. Smart man, knowing this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
You pull away, resting your forehead against his. He leans in again, but you back away just enough that your lips don’t collide. He lets out a shaky breath, chewing on his pierced lower lip.
You tug on his shirt, “Take this off for me.”
You climb off Jungkook’s lap and onto Mingyu’s. You cup his cheek, leaning in and kissing him softly. He leans into your touch, kissing you back with desperation.
Mingyu... Mingyu kisses like like he's got no time left, yet it feels like all the time in the world. It's ironic almost, because he's sure he's going to spend the rest of his life with you. But he's impatient, desperate even, in the way he touches you and presses his lips against yours. But everything about him is so familiar, you always find yourself falling deep into him. His kisses are consuming, much like everything about him. Makes you feel like you're floating, and 30 seconds feels like an eternity.
You moan against his lips, placing a firm hand on his chest as your lips move against one another with haste. You feel one of his hands grip your ass and decide to pull away. You move his hand onto his own lap.
You lean back, leaving your boyfriend breathless and aching for your touch. You shift your gaze back to a now shirtless Jungkook. His tattoos are on full display, decorating his muscular body. The ink of his sleeve is nearly full, trailing all the way down to his fingers.
You climb off Mingyu’s lap, leaning in toward Jungkook. His gaze is intense, hazy as his eyes shift between your lips and your eyes.
“Kook,” You breathe out. “I wanna suck your cock.”
Jungkook’s mind feels hazy. The concept of you is messing with his mind. You’re submissive, but you know what you want and you’re not afraid of vocalizing it.
He holds his glass in his hand, swiftly bringing it to his lips and downing the leftover contents in the transparent dish. He sets the now-empty glass down on the nightstand.
Honest, he’s never looked at you this way before. He’s never had these kinds of thoughts about you. You were gorgeous and had a nice body, but anyone could see that. It was undeniable.
But he never actually had thoughts of you. As long as he’d known you, you were Mingyu’s girl. His best friend’s girlfriend, not the girl he’d ever imagine asking to suck his dick.
But who was he to deny you?
He licks his lips, giving you a small nod. You adjust your body, laying flat on your back. Jungkook stands over the edge of the bed, towering over your small frame.
He undoes his jeans, pulling them down with his underwear. His cock is already half hard, finally free from the material restraining it. You lick your lips slowly, waiting in anticipation.
His initial movements are slow, stroking his cock and dragging the tip along your lips. He teases you a bit, making sure you're comfortable before tapping his cock against your lips, signaling you to open your mouth.
You oblige, allowing your mouth to fall open and letting the tattooed man feel the warm slide of your inner cheeks, satisfying his newfound desire for you.
He exhibits great patience, taking his time to test your waters as he fills your mouth little by little. The weight of his cock on your tongue stirs a warm feeling in your belly.
"That's it," Jungkook groans, murmuring under his breath. There's a rasp in his voice that you've never heard before and it has you pressing your thighs together.
Of course your boyfriend could never be forgotten, finding solace between your legs. He pries open your legs, pressing them down on the bed as he pushes your panties to the side. There's a look of mischief written on his face as he disappears between your thighs. He immediately latches his pretty lips onto your clit, licking and sucking on your sensitive bud.
You nearly choke, letting out a moan around Jungkook's length. The warmth of Mingyu's tongue is driving you mad, causing your toes to curl up as you squirm on the bed.
One of your had entangles into Mingyu's hair, gripping and pulling at the lose strands. Mingyu grunts, sucking harsher on your clit and making you feel dizzy as you coat his face with your arousal.
Jungkook begins thrusting his cock down your throat, starting slow and building up to a steady pace.
Your mind feels hazy. There's so much going on, your brain can't keep up with everything that's happening with your body. Your eyes roll back and you gag around Jungkook's cock. He pulls out immediately, causing you to whine.
"You okay?" Jungkook asks.
You nod eagerly. "Don't stop."
He's taken back, but obliges nonetheless. He slides his cock back into your mouth, letting out a shaky breath as he watches the bulge appear in your throat. He finds his pace again, pressing the tip of his cock against the back of your throat with each thrust.
Mingyu slips a finger into you and you moan against Jungkook's length. You're soaking your boyfriend's finger, making it easier for him to slip in another, curling them and fucking them in and out of your tight cunt. He stretches you open, fingers moving at a fast pace that has you struggling to keep up.
You're careful not to use your teeth, remaining conscious and hyper-aware of the tatted man above you. Saliva pools in the back of your throat, and your other hand starts stroking the tatted man's length.
Your cunt squelches as it stretches around your boyfriend's fingers. Your hips move on their own, thrusting into his fingers and meeting his pace. He continues to suck down on your clit, groaning against your wet cunt and sending sensations traveling through your body.
You can feel the pressure building in the pit of your stomach. Mingyu can sense this, so he starts pumping his fingers into you faster and harder, curling them against the sweet spot that has your legs shaking in moments.
The pressure is building fast and you have to pull away. You move your head, and Jungkook's cock slips out of your mouth. You continue stroking him lazily, but your orgasm interrupts your mind and body.
"Oh fuck-" You cry out.
Your legs wrap around your boyfriend's head, nearly suffocating him as you ride out your orgasm on his face. Your hips grind against his tongue, moving frantically and quickly as the pleasure overwhelms you.
Your legs are shakily and your high-pitched moans echo through the room. Jungkook watches the view below him, forever etching it into his mind.
You ride out your high on your boyfriend's face, tugging harshly at his hair to pry him off once you come down. He lifts his head up, licking his lips as he stares at you with hazy eyes.
Your body falls limp on the bed. Your chest rises and falls rapidly as your fingertips tingle and you begin to fully tap back into your senses.
The room feels suffocatingly hot and your body trembles. The sheer intensity already has you tired, but your brain is screaming moremoremore. Your cunt throbs and aches, need to be filled–gotta be stuffed full.
"Need a break?" Mingyu asks.
You sit up, shaking your head. You slide the last bit of material covering your body off and look him in the eyes. “The opposite."
Your boyfriend smirks. "There's my girl, always insatiable."
You lean in, minimizing the gap between you and your boyfriend. "Feel so empty..."
Mingyu licks his lips. "Think I'm gonna let Kook fuck you first, okay sweetheart? I know that's what you want."
You nod eagerly in agreement.
"How do you want it?"
"I want-"
"Tell him, not me baby," Mingyu cuts you off.
Your body stiffens and you turn to meet Jungkook's hungry gaze. You bat your eyelashes at him. "From behind, fuck me from behind Koo.."
Jungkook doesn't need any more of an invitation. The tatted man reaches into the pocket of his discarded pants and pulls out his wallet. There's a shiny gold packet wedged between his two fingers. Naturally, he tears it open with his teeth and rolls the latex onto his length. He comes up behind you, pressing your back down so you're on all fours.
You feel the tip of his cock pressed against your folds. You're absolutely soaked, making him slide in easier than he thought he would, He planned to tease you a big, but your cunt invited him in so easily.
"That's it Shorty, let me in," Jungkook whispers.
You whine, gripping the bed sheets as he pushes his cock into you. He fills you up slowly, making you feel every inch of him. The stretch of his cock is delightful, filling up your lower tummy with a familiar warmth.
"Oh my g-" You whisper to yourself, voice muffled as you bury your head into the pillow.
"You're taking it so well baby, so good," Mingyu praises.
Your boyfriend's large body appears before you. His muscles are toned, stature stands above you almost intimidatingly.
"You're doing so good sweetheart, can you handle me too?" Mingyu asks.
You nod eagerly. Your back arches and you lift one hand to guide Mingyu's cock into your mouth. You moan around his length, allowing him to fuck your throat.
Jungkook finds a steady pace, ramming his cock into you from behind. The pleasure fills your body as he stretches your cunt. He slips in and out easily as your arousal drips on his cock.
The force of his thrusts make it easier for your boyfriend's cock to touch the back of your throat. Mingyu holds the top of your head lightly, guiding your mouth to maintain control and make sure it's not too rough.
You try to focus on your boyfriend, but the force of Jungkook's cock fucking you open makes it hard. You take a break, lazily stroking Mingyu's cock as you moan out.
You can feel the tension building between your thighs. Jungkook's cock is distracting, making it hard to do anything but moan and babble over the sheer pleasure.
"Please..." You beg. "Fuck–I"
He thrusts his cock deep into you, tip nudging against the sweet spot deep inside of you. The tension builds and you hardly have time for a warning. Your body is instantly overwhelmed and you completely lose control.
"Holy fuck..." Jungkook breathes out in disbelief.
You're cumming so hard you don't even realize the rush of liquid leaving your body. Your mind goes blank and your vision fills with dots, sinful moans, and screams echoing throughout your home. Your entire body trembles as you squirt all over your boyfriend's best friend.
The squeeze of your cunt forces him out and you gush all over the bed. He's quick to fill you again, fucking you through your orgasm. Jungkook buries himself deep in your walls, allowing the tightness of your cunt to pull his own orgasm out of him. It hits him fast, but the blissful feeling drags out for seemingly an eternity.
He groans, filling the condom with his load. It's filthy and overwhelming and you love it. Your entire body trembles and Jungkook pulls out once your grip has loosened. He lay on your back against the mattress.
His chest rises and falls as he breathes heavily, lungs desperate for air after experiencing his high. He climbs off the bed, disposing of the condom.
There are no words that can be said in this moment. It feels like forever before your eyes blink open and your vision clears. You look up, seeing your boyfriend's flushed face.
Mingyu looks down at you, hair falling over his face perfectly. His broad shoulders hover over you, making you feel even smaller under his gaze. "You good, baby?"
You whine, nodding.
He kisses your shoulder. "I'm gonna take such good care of you."
Your stomach does backflips at the sound of his promise.
Your boyfriend is all-consuming once again. His presence alone never fails to overwhelm you. Heat flows through your entire body as he fills you up. The familiar stretch has you trembling and squirming on the bed.
"Fuck!" You cry out.
Your entire body spasms, arms flailing as you desperately try to find something to hold onto. You can't keep still, nearly pushing Mingyu out.
A pair of large arms suddenly pins you down, holding you in place. You whimper.
"Hey..." Jungkook coos. "Where are you going, Shorty? Hmm?"
Unlike Jungkook, Mingyu has no interest in teasing. He's been on edge all night, since the moment you put on the damn skirt before you'd even left to go out.
It's almost cruel, how quickly he finds his pace, plowing his cock into you hard. It hurts, cunt sensitive from being used all night like this. But the pain is so good, it's almost addictive. It'll catch up to you later, but your body aches for more.
Jungkook's breath is hot against your skin, gentle hands applying just the right amount of pressure to keep you in place. His thumb draws small circles on the palm of your hand as he holds you. It deeply contrasts the sensations of your boyfriend's ruthless fucking.
"Shit.." Mingyu groans.
He can't stop himself, fucking his cock deeper into you with every thrust. The burn is so satisfying, fulfilling your every need and more. You wrap your legs around him, forcing his cock deeper into you.
And with that, you're squirting again. Another rush of cum leaves your body, soaking your boyfriend's lower half. He pulls out momentarily to let it happen, but he fills you back up in no time.
He lets you fully ride out your orgasm on his cock. Your sensitive inner walls tighten and spasm around him as he bullies his cock against your g-spot. He sinks deep into your aching cunt, relishing in the tight squeeze around his cock that soon drives him into his own orgasm.
You sob out in relief when the tension in your stomach is eased. A warm buzz flows down your thighs and your legs shake. The pleasure is so overwhelming you feel lightheaded.
Your mind is so clear, relishing in the pleasure of it all. Mingyu's deep groans bring you back into your senses, allowing you to feel the way he fills you with his load.
Your boyfriend pulls out, mind hazy as some of his cum drips out of you. You lay there on the bed, body completely spent. Your cunt is swollen and throbbing from the absence of touch.
Both of the larger men crowd around your exhausted body, ensuring that you're okay. You let them know honestly that you're fine and they help to clean you up and redress you and themselves in comfortable clothes for the night.
They change the sheets, discarding the ones you so shamelessly soaked. Not many words are exchanged, but a comfortable quiet falls over the room.
You sleep in the middle of the large bed, sandwiched between the two men comfortably.
___________
You're the second to wake up. When your eyes flutter open, your left side is empty. You look to your right, seeing your boyfriend sleeping peacefully.
Your head is pounding from the hangover and there's a soreness between your thighs. You look around, seeing Jungkook is standing on the balcony outside your bedroom.
You climb out of bed and open the screen door, coming up behind the tatted man.
"Morning," He says first.
Jungkook stands over the banister with his arms crossed, tattoos on full display with a cigarette wedged between his pointer and middle finger.
"Morning," You greet him back.
You walk over to him, standing by his side. "Cigarettes for breakfast? You know there's food in the kitchen."
The tatted man grins. "I know, bad habit of mine."
He takes a long drag of it, and allows the smoke to pass between his flushed lips. You take the cigarette out of his hand and inhale. "Can't say I'm much better than you though."
He chuckles. "Gyu told me you quit."
You shrug. "Mostly. He doesn't like it, so I don't really smoke around him. Only something I really do when I've got something on mind." You look at him, raising an eyebrow. "Something on your mind?"
You hold your hand out, extending the cigarette back to him. He takes it back and sighs.
"I don't know Shorty, think I might be ready to settle down," Jungkook confesses, taking another drag of his cigarette.
You bump your hip against his playfully. "The Jeon Jungkook? What's gotten into you? I fucked some sense into you?"
Jungkook's jaw slacks open. He lets out a genuine laugh at your comment. "Kind of, Shorty. I'm not gonna lie."
"Really?" You raise an eyebrow.
Jungkook has always been free-spirited. Never really committed to women, always just there for the ride. It was by no means a bad lifestyle, at least the way he went about it. He wasn't the type to hop from bed to bed each night, it was more of an occasional thing. But by no means did he seem to ever want anything real with anyone. For Jungkook everything always seemed so.. temporary.
He'd been in serious relationships before, his longest one lasted nearly 3 years. But even then, he wasn't really fulfilled, never felt satisfied.
Nothing ever felt permanent.
He nods, taking another drag. He hands it to you and exhales. "Last night was pretty fucking crazy I can't lie. But here we are cracking jokes and sharing a cig like it was nothing."
You take a hit, leaning your back against the banister.
"Mingyu's in there asleep without so much as a worry on his mind cuz he trusts you, you know? Like we can keep things cool between us and he doesn't doubt that cuz he's got genuine love and trust. I don't think I've ever felt that way with someone in my life, not enough to do some shit like last night."
You hum in agreement and hand the cigarette back to him.
"I guess I just realized it's actually kind of admirable, more than it is crazy. Got me thinking I can find my own girl I trust and love that much, you know?"
He takes another drag, inhaling and blowing the smoke out of his mouth. He hands it back to you.
"Gotcha, you wanna find a girl just so you can have threesomes with her and her friends," You joke.
Jungkook chuckles, hitting your shoulder playfully. "C'mon Shorty, don't twist my words."
"I'm just fucking with you," you giggle. "But in all seriousness, I get it though. I never imagined doing something like that either, but I know he's the only person I'd be willing to do it with. It's a rare thing in this world, glad I got lucky." You exhale and hand him back the cigarette. "I think you will too."
"Can only hope," Jungkook breathes out.
"You will Kook, just gotta take things seriously," You cock your head to the side and grin. "And when you do, and you marry her, I'm gonna tell Mingyu to mention last night in his best man speech."
Jungkook snorts. "You two are definitely getting married before me, c'mon now. During my best man's speech, I'll sure as hell tell the story and let everyone know you're a squirter."
You punch his tatted arm playfully. "You're the worst!"
"You started it!" Jungkook grins.
"Fair enough," You smile.
"Can't lie it's kind of a great story to tell. You took it like a champ," Jungkook comments.
"My entire family will be at my wedding, don't even think about it," You laugh. "I'm sure they won't appreciate hearing how I quote, 'took it like a champ."
"Fair enough," He grins.
It falls quiet again as the two of you smoke the rest of the cigarette. When it's done, Jungkook kills it on the floor of the balcony. You kick it off to eliminate the evidence.
"C'mon, Mingyu's gonna be up soon and I'm hungry."
You lead Jungkook back into the bedroom, greeting your sleepy boyfriend with a bombard of pillows.
_______________________________________________
© number1mingyustan - Do not repost without permission.
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enhaheeseung · 10 months ago
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Toxic - L. Heeseung
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Pairing: heeseung X fem reader!
Warning: smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, fingering, angst, cum eating, arguments, cursing, dry humping, multiple orgasms, mentions of cheating, crying, the words slut and whore are used.
Genre: ex’s, toxic relationship, smut, mdni!
WC:4,351k
“Knew you’d be here,” you hear an all too familiar voice say right beside your ear, and you can’t even react before his large arms encase your figure.
You jumped slightly and set your cup down on the kitchen counter, as well as the bottle of alcohol that you had been drinking that night.
With your shaky hands, you attempt to take his arms off you, but the effort is futile, and you end up resting your hands above his that lay on your waist.
“I waited a whole hour to finally get you alone, baby. Your friends were stealing you away from me,” he laughs softly, his warm breath tickling your neck. “But now,” he steps a bit closer, brushing himself against you, and you feel your knees grow weak as his bulge rests between your cheeks. “You’re all mine,” he nibbles on the tip of your ear, earning a quiet gasp from your beautiful lips.
“Hee,” he melts when you call him by the nickname you gave him all those years ago, chills running up his spine as he shudders against you, inhaling a sharp breath while subtly pressing his crotch on your backside.
He lowers his hands to your hips, gripping them firmly and pulling you against his chest, your body completely flush with his, leaving you no space and no choice but to feel the thick, pulsing outline of his stiffness.
You let go of his hands, letting him use your body as you clutched onto the kitchen counter to stabilize yourself, and you wish you could say you were doing this with him cause you’re drunk, but you’re far from that cause he came to you only a few shots in.
A part of you felt guilty for letting him back in so easily, but one touch from him and all rational thoughts were out the window. The only thing swirling in your brain right now was the thought of him laying you on your back, spreading you wide open, and taking every last ounce of dignity from you.
He smirks down at your connected bodies when you take matters into your own hands and grind your ass against his hard-on. “Let me take you home,” he whispers and taps your waist two times, momentarily knocking you out of your trance as you agree and let him guide you out of the party.
He feels lucky when he’s able to sneak by your friends. The last thing he needs is for them to interfere like before.
He took you to his car, the scent filling your nostrils and bringing back so many memories of the late-night drives or grocery runs you both used to go on back when your guy's relationship was healthy.
Without much thought he put the keys in the ignition and started his car driving back to your place based off nothing but muscle memory from all the times he used to pick you up for dates he looked to his right seeing you stare out the window and he can’t believe you’re actually sitting here with him right now after everything you guys have been through.
He puts his hand on your thigh and hides his smile when you jump slightly from his touch.
He sees you visibly relax, and he strokes your bare thigh with his thumb, inching his hand up higher and higher till he feels the warmth between your legs. He settles his hand there, kneading and tugging on the soft flesh, working you up for what’s about to come, and by the time you arrive home, your panties are completely drenched. You feel embarrassed for getting so turned on by a simple touch, but you can’t help it. You were undeniably addicted to your ex.
Guiding him upstairs to your apartment room feels all like a blur cause as soon as the door shuts, he’s got his hands all over you, groping every last inch of your skin as his lips press roughly against yours.
Taken aback by his ferocity, your hands clumsily find his strong back, using it as leverage to brace yourself for his hungry kisses. “Oh, heeseung,” you moan into his mouth, and he loves it as it gives him the perfect entrance to your warm, wet mouth. He slips his tongue inside with no permission, but he knows you’d never refuse any of his advances.
“Fuck” he whimpers when you run your fingers through his hair and tug harshly on the roots.
He stumbles his way over to your bedroom, your lips never disconnecting for even a moment as you both discard your shoes somewhere neither of you is even concerned with right now.
Leaning back to finally catch a breather, your eyes flutter open, and he smiles softly while stroking your cheek with his thumb, admiring your beauty up close after so long.
He trails his hands down to your waist, gripping the hem of your shirt, and with your help, he lifts it over your head smoothly, tossing it to the ground.
His hands move to your back, unclasping your bra effortlessly as if you two had just done this yesterday. “Missed this,” he mumbles softly at the sight of your breast, his big hands automatically cupping them, thumbs brushing softly on your nipples as they harden under his sensual touch.
“Mmph,” You bite your lip from the sensation, your hands lowering to the button on his pants, popping it open, and lowering the zipper on his jeans. As soon as you take your hand off his zipper, you cup the pulsing bulge inside his pants, squeezing him softly and taking his breath away.
“Oh my god,” he breathes out, looking down at your hand stroking his throbbing length. “Y/n,” he throws his head back, eyes falling shut from the pleasure as his tip continues to leak and soak straight through his underwear.
You take the open opportunity to attach your lips to his neck placing the most softest kisses he’s ever felt on his skin.
He tilts his head to the side, making it easier for you to kiss and mark up his neck while you jerk off his cock faster. “If you keep doing that, I’m gonna cum” he whispers, eyes still closed, showing zero restraint to the upcoming pleasure despite wanting to make you finish first.
You slow your movements, giving him a break, and he makes the most of it as he gently grips your waist and lays you in your bed.
He does the rest of the work and takes his pants off before getting on the bed and looming over you to take your pants off as well. You assist him by lifting your hips and letting him peel the jean material from your legs, leaving you in only your underwear as he throws your jeans off the bed. “You’re so beautiful,” he says while tracing your inner thighs with his fingertips, your skin forming goosebumps from his teasing touch.
Removing his hands from your skin, he slowly opens his blue flannel one button at a time, watching your eyes become filled with desire with each one he unfastens.
Your legs spread apart just a bit, but it doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and he can tell how much you want him when you grip the sheets and writhe on the bed beneath him, desperate for him to do something.
And he does. He lays beside you, his left hand running along your clothed cunt. “Hee,” you breathe out, arching into his touch and trying to lift your hips to meet his movements.
He presses a bit harder, adding more friction for your pleasure, and he lowers his face to your chest, taking your perked nipple into his mouth and sucking on it softly as he looks up at you, eyes blown wide as if he’s waiting for some kind of approval.
Slipping your panties to the side, his thick fingers come in contact with your bare cunt for the first time tonight, and he runs his digits through your drenched folds tapping your clit gently and rubbing the wetness all over your mound.
Humming against your chest, he slowly eases his finger inside you, taking your breath away.
You grip his wrist for some kind of support as he gently fucks his finger into your heat, little moans slipping past your lips.
He adds a second finger in you stretching your hole open, his thumb circling your clit in soft circles.
Releasing your nipple with a quiet pop, he kisses around the erect bud, placing soft kisses all over your plush breast.
“So good.” You don’t want to let him know he still has this much power over you, but the way his fingers work inside you makes it impossible.
“Yeah? You feel good, baby?” He lays his tongue flat against your chest, licking every inch within his reach, his fingers gradually picking up the pace as he curls them and starts rubbing that spot he memorized all those years ago. It was still carved on his brain despite your guy's separation.
His left leg hooks over yours, his obvious hard-on rubbing against your thigh as he absentmindedly humps your leg. “Ah ah,” he moans shakily, his wet tip getting stimulated by the softness of your thigh.
The action only turns you on more, and the feeling of his scorching length throbbing against your thigh while he pumps your wet walls has you clenching so tightly around his fingers, letting him know you’re not far off. “Hee close, so close,” your arch, your back further into his touch, eyes squeezing shut as you lose yourself in the pleasure of an orgasm that you dreamed of every night since the breakup.
“I know, baby.” he pecks your chest, rutting faster against your thigh, creating more friction the closer you get. “You gonna cum for me?” He whines out, his own orgasm creeping up on him suddenly.
“Yes,” you nod your head over and over, looking down at where his hand was pleasuring you in ways you couldn’t imagine. “Cumming” you helplessly choked out, legs shaking uncontrollably as you had your first orgasm in years.
“That’s it,” he whispers against your ear. “My girl cumming so hard around my fingers” he softly kisses the shell of your ear, his hot breath heightening every last little spark of hot pleasure you felt. “Give it to me, all of it.” The feeling doesn’t fade, and it seems like your high was dragging on forever. Just seconds later, you feel another rush of pleasure flow through you, and a second orgasm comes crashing down around you unexpectedly.
His thumb works gently on your clit as a warm liquid squirts out from between your legs the wet sounds loud and sloppy as his fingers fuck your cunt till you give him everything. “Oh my god, heeseung fuck” you moan loudly, your body quivering in the aftermath as little wet splashes stain your bed as well as heeseung’s hand, but he loves it the way you’re literally wetting yourself all because of him.
“I got you” he nudges your face with his nose, slowly riding your high out until you’ve given him every last ounce out of your perfect pussy. “Baby, you’re so wet you’re dripping on me,” he says in a daze, soaking up the image of you wet and shaking with pleasure when you come back down from that indescribable experience you hid your face in his neck, feeling embarrassed by how your body reacted to him.
He pulls his fingers out of your stretched hole, your squirt running down his wrist as he slurps your cum off his fingers.
The front of his underwear was covered in translucent precum, and he felt like he couldn’t wait for another second to be inside you, especially when he rested on his knees and saw the creamy substance leaking from your entrance. He just knew it was going to feel like absolute heaven to be inside you again.
He quickly pulled down his boxers, revealing his hard veiny cock to your desired-filled eyes as you lay there just waiting for him to fully undress.
On second thought, you couldn’t wait. His underwear only made it to his ankles before you sat up and gripped his shoulders, maneuvering him on the bed, so now he was sitting against the bed frame.
You immediately sat on his lap, circling your hips as your wet panties brushed against his leaky dick. “Condom?” You wrapped your arms around his neck and positioned yourself to ride his thick cock.
He shakes his head back and forth. “mm mmm.” he really didn’t have one because he was not expecting tonight to go like this. “But we don’t need one, baby. Let me fill you up.” he caresses your arms up and down. “Know you love it when I cum inside it” he squeezes your arms a bit more tightly, letting his possessive side take over.
This should have been a red flag for you, but at the moment, it was so hot that it clouded your better judgment, and the idea of him filling your hole with his hot cum and claiming you as his had your brains turned to mush and by the look on your face you didn’t even have to give him an answer for him to know you wanted it too.
You lifted your hips up, and he pushed your panties to the side, giving him just enough access to your little hole. He gripped the base of his cock, putting the tip in and giving you that nice little stretch before pushing in a bit more. “Oh,” you moan, rolling your head back as he spreads you open with his dick.
“Oh fuck god, y/n,” he whines, his hands rushing to your sides to grip onto something to ground himself.
You gently sat down, careful not to overwhelm him. You bounced lightly on it, getting both of you used to the sensation, and naturally, as it started to feel better and better, it wasn’t long before you were sunken down all the way on him, his tip touching your cervix as your pussy lips kissed his full balls.
“Kiss me.” his breath was heavy, eyes barely open, as he tilted his head up, waiting for your lips to touch his.
You ran your fingers through his hair, bringing his face closer, zeroing in on his perfect pink lips and connecting them together.
You can feel him twitch inside the moment you stick your tongue in his mouth. He moans quietly, feeling breathless from your kiss, his fingertips pressing harshly into your side, and you completely take his breath away when you start riding his long cock.
His mouth falls open, and the kiss is no longer a kiss. It’s just you licking, sucking, and biting every inch of his mouth.
You feel the grip on your waist loosen, and he becomes limp, his fingers lifelessly resting on your thighs as you bounce up and down up and down.
The sound of your skin clapping against his, mixed with the obscene wet sounds between your conjoined bodies, makes his head spin.
His heart pounds wildly in his chest, his eyes glossy with pleasure as you fuck your cunt on his cock.
You leaned back eyes fluttering open and you stare into his love filled ones biting your lip and tilting your head to the side using every last ounce of energy to ride him. “I-“ he tried to speak, but nothing came to his mind. He was too overwhelmed with the feeling to form a coherent thought.
“Feels good, huh?” You say through a heavy breath as he nods frantically.
“Yes, so good, please, y/n,” he whimpers and presses his face to your chest, messily licking and sucking the flesh, the warmth of his tongue making your nipples grow hard. “Please, I’m so close, y/n you’re gonna make me cum”
“Okay, baby,” you kissed the top of his head, and the warmth he felt inside of him was nothing like nothing before the softness mixed with the pleasure was all it took for him to let go. “Fill me up, hee, make me yours.” You don’t even know what you’re saying, but right now, it feels right. “Only want you.”
“Me too,” he whines out, muscles tensing as he releases himself within your heat, filling you up just the way you wanted. “Mine all mine,” he grunts out every word with each rope of cum that stains your warm insides. “All fucking mine,” his words shoot straight to your core, your cunt clenching around him, milking his creamy seed until you are stuffed to the brim with white hot cum.
He starts thrusting up from below you, his balls smacking against your ass as he turns animalistic, his strength returning in full as his grip becomes tighter. The sudden change of sensation takes you by surprise, and he easily flips you over, getting on top of you, his left hand immediately clasping with yours beside your head. “Legs on me,” he groans softly as you obey his command.
He grips your thigh, hoisting it up high on his waist, his tip reaching the deepest part inside you. His thrusts are deep and precise as his thick tip drags against your gummy walls, stroking every last ridge and crevice, bringing you the utmost pleasure. “Uhh heeseung,” A shocked whimper escapes your swollen lips, your free hand clutching to his wide back, and your sounds make him absolutely feral. You swear you see stars as he pounds into you so fast and deep.
“I love you,” he breathed out while scanning your flushed face, his hand slipping between your bodies to finger your clit so you can both cum together this time. “I love you, y/n,” you moan at his confession as you stare into his eyes, your body slipping further up the bed while he gives it to you, and at the moment, you know you can’t resist uttering the words. “Say it back, please,” he whimpers out, his strokes becoming inconsistent the closer he gets. “Please,” he begs in a desperate voice, needing you to say the words back to him to confirm you feel the same way as he does.
“Love you too, hee so much.” You cup his cheek, his brows furrowed, and his eyes fill with tears as he buries his face in your neck, whimpering nonstop about how much you mean to him and how much he loves you. “I love you, I love you so much,” you confess in your moment of weakness, and you let go cumming around his cock your walls desperately clenching on him, begging to be filled up.
“I love you,” he confesses one last time before he cums. He squeezes your hand, groaning as he fills you with all of his love, his hips never wavering as he fucks not one but two loads of warm cum inside you, plugging up your pulsating hole with his thick base to ensure that nothing spills out.
He peppers your neck in kisses, moaning as you dig your nails into his back while the remainder of your high starts to fade away.
Heavy, exhausted breaths fill up the now silent but steamy bedroom, and you both lay there enjoying the last few faint pulses between your bodies before you even think about moving.
He props himself up on his elbow, staring down at your beautiful blissed-out face as he strokes your cheek with his thumb.
You look back and forth between his eyes, guilt slowly but surely filling your system. “Pull out”
“Why?” He whispered, confusion evident on his face. Without answering his question, you place your hands on his chest, gently pushing him back, and he doesn’t want to go against your will, so he very reluctantly pulls out of you, his cum streaming out of your hole like a river.
You quickly cover up with the sheets, hiding from him something you’ve never done after being intimate with him, which makes him even more confused.
Before he could even offer to clean you up, you were basically kicking him out. “Go”
“What do you mean go?” He asked.
“Just go, heeseung. This was a mistake, and we both know it.” his heart shatters at your words because how could this be happening? Just a minute ago, you were giving yourself to him, begging for him to make you his again, and the next, you’re just willing to kick him out and call making love to him a mistake?
“A mistake? So you regret it?” You could hear the hurt in his voice, and it made you feel even more guilty. “I don’t understand, y/n” his voice shakes slightly, and you know this was a bad idea from the fucking start. How could you let yourself get swept up by him again? He was supposed to be your ex, but here you are fucking him like you’re still both together, giving him mixed signals because even though your heart wanted him, your brain was telling you that he was no good for you.
“Heeseung, don’t,” you say, holding back your own tears. “You know this was never gonna work, and you kept coming back until I finally broke down and slept with you, but this does not mean we’re back together. When we broke up, I told you I’d never be getting back together with you.”
He gulps down the lump in his throat, staring at nothing in particular after taking his eyes off you.
He covers himself with his hands, the feeling of nakedness making its presence known. He stands up from the bed, wearing his underwear properly and buttoning up his shirt.
It’s silent except for the sounds of him rummaging through your room to find his pants. He puts them on, zipping them up, and he takes two steps to walk out of the bedroom before standing still. “So you said you love me. Was that a mistake, too?” You nod your head slowly, avoiding all eye contact with him, and he lets out a few chuckles before it turns into full-blown laughter.
You looked up at him, confused as to what he thought was so funny about this heartbreaking situation.
“I get it now.” his laugh settles, and he can’t believe he was stupid enough to even think this would work.
“Get what?” You questioned.
“I know what it is.” You look at him, puzzled, and wait for him to continue. “You’re nothing but a fucking slut” he says, and you whip your head in his direction, looking at him with pure shock. “Don’t look so surprised. It’s quite obvious you’re getting it from someone else.” he chuckles pathetically at himself. “You don’t need me no more 'cause you have been running around to all these parties and hooking up with random guys every night, right? You let them fuck you however they want, and you love it too, huh? Getting your slutty hole filled with a new guy every night?”
“Heeseung that’s not true and we both know it” you grit through your teeth trying not to show your emotions you can’t believe that’s really what he thought of you.
“Save it!” He shouts. “Tell me, do they do it better than I do? Is that why you left me in the first place? Cause I wasn’t doing it for you anymore, huh? Was I not big enough for you? what was it?” He interrogates.
“Heeseung, stop!” You shout back on the verge of tears.
“Why y/n? We both know you cheated cause I was never enough for you, but did you really have to do that to me? You know I still love you.” his voice cracks, and it breaks your heart when you hear his soft sniffles. You hated hearing him cry. It was the absolute worst. “Fuck I hate this so much,” he whispers to himself and swipes a hand over his face drying his tears. “But fuck it, I’ll just face it. I’ll never be enough for you. I’m pathetic. I haven’t even been with anyone since we broke up 'cause I’m still caught up on you, but you’re living the life you gave up on me a long time ago.”
You wish he’d stop doing this to himself. This is one of the many reasons why you had to break up with him in the first place. He never saw his worth and never thought you could see it, either. He never saw just how lovable he was and how easy it was to be yourself around him.
You never understood what made him so insecure in your guy's relationships. You never once thought about cheating when you were with him. You’d always go out of your way to make him feel loved, but it was just never enough.
Or maybe it was your fault. Maybe you gave him signs that you’d cheat, maybe you gave him signs that you didn’t love him.
But at this point, everything ruined your friendship, your trust, your relationship, your love.
But you tried cause even though everything was a mess, you still loved him, and though you couldn’t tell him that, you at least wanted to try and make him feel better about himself. “Heeseung, you are enough.”
“Yeah, right,” he scoffs.
“Heeseung, I know we’re over, but you deserve love, and I’m sorry I can’t give it to you,” you tell him, all while feeling completely helpless in this situation.
“Is that what you tell every guy you let inside you?” The room falls silent yet again, and you feel so weak and broken that you can’t even say anything back. If that’s what he wanted to believe about you, then fine, everything was over between you and him anyway.
He shook his head at you and walked out, slamming the door behind him, and you finally let the first of many tears fall.
As hurtful as it was, you’re glad that conversation happened, and now you just hope that he’ll leave you alone once and for all.
You just couldn’t handle him anymore because he was toxic.
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kjupchurch-xx · 5 months ago
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Oh, Baby!
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This chapter contains a tiny bit of SMUT.
Hugh and I were expecting our first child, not something he'd planned at the age of 40 or me at the age of 26, but one thing led to another and we ended up finding out we were expecting. Though, that's the kind of thing that happens when you aren't exactly careful, if you know what I mean. Of course you do. Besides that, things were well, we'd just celebrated our second year of marriage, our third year together and he was just nominated People's Sexiest Man Alive.
Flashback to the night of conception:
I laid beneath him as he gazed down into my eyes, his tan skin glistening in the dimly lit room. His thrusts slow, steady and full of passion. With one hand, he was cupping my cheek as my soft moans filled our bedroom. His other hand keeping him atop of me without bearing too much of his weight on me. I could see his facial expressions through the dim lighting, he was letting out soft moans while continuing to make love to me. I could tell he was getting close by the expression on his face.
As he leaned down to kiss me softly, he mumbled against my lips, "I love you, gorgeous." as his thrusts continued. As I reached my orgasm, he climaxed with me, not pulling out as he pressed his forehead against mine, continuing to kiss me with so much emotion, so much love. He collapsed alongside me, pulling me into his embrace, pressing another kiss on my forehead as we slowly drifted off to sleep.
Present Day:
Hugh and I did not know the gender. After suffering a miscarriage last year, we didn't care about a gender, we cared about a healthy baby. However, we did have our names picked out. If Baby Jackman were a girl, her name would be Paisley Grace Jackman, if Baby Jackman were a boy, his name would be Christopher Michael Jackman, which was a nod to Hugh's father, Chris and Michael since it was Hugh's middle name. Grace came from Hugh's rekindled relationship with his mother, Grace.
I was 38 weeks pregnant and my baby bump has already made me double in size. Whenever Hugh wasn't filming, he'd sing, read or even talk to the bump. The baby always kicked at the sound of Hugh's voice, regardless of what he was doing. Hugh was ecstatic to be a father, he even cried when he found out we would be having a child. I spent most of the time wondering what our precious gift would look like, if they'd take Hugh's Australian accent or take on more of my Southern accent.
"Here Beautiful, I made you a brekkie. Pancakes don't cause your morning sickness anymore, right?" He asked with a soft gentle voice, bringing me a plate of the pancakes he'd made from scratch.
I smiled, "No, pancakes are fine now. I've been craving pancakes. Thank you, love." I said, grabbing the plate, devouring the food he'd brought me as he sat beside me.
He started caressing my upper thigh, "How're you feeling today, love?"
I yawned, "I'm okay today, but I've really got to pee. I'm so fat now, I can hardly waddle at this point." I snickered while struggling to get up.
He quickly stood up, taking both of my hands in his, helping me to my feet. "You're not fat, stop that. You're beautiful and you can tell by how much sex we have that I'm still very much attracted to you, bump and all." He chuckled.
I playfully rolled my eyes, heading in the direction of our bathroom to pee for the 50th time that morning. As I stepped into the doorway, I had this immediate urge and quickly realized I did not have to pee. In fact, my water had broken. All over the floor and all over the clothes I had on. The doctor had previously told us once I hit 38 weeks that Baby Jackman could come at any time, so knowing this, we'd planned ahead and had a bag packed just in case. Thank god.
I yelled for Hugh as I waddled my way into the bedroom to quickly change pants. He came rushing into our bedroom, "Are you okay? What happened?" He asked, his voice dripping with concern as he stepped close towards me.
"I um, my water... My water broke. It's happening." I stammered, a panicked look spread across my face. He quickly grabbed the bag we'd packed in one hand, and used his other to carefully usher me to the car outside. He threw the bag in the backseat before carefully helping me into the front seat, leaning down pulling my seatbelt across me. I could feel the contractions beginning at this point. The sharp waves of pain leaving me quivering, eager to get to the hospital to get relief.
He held my hand as he drove us towards the nearest hospital, bringing my hand up to his lips, letting them brush lightly across my knuckles, "We're about to see our baby. I can't wait." He spoke softly.
I wrapped my arm around my stomach as I felt another wave of pain getting ready to rush through my abdomen, "Holy shit, this is fucking painful." I winced.
He caressed my arm, "I know love, it'll be over soon. We're almost there, just hang on."
As we arrived at the hospital, he helped me out of the car, grabbing the bag and slinging it over his shoulder, using his other arm to steady me as my contractions grew stronger. Once he got me inside and I was rushed back by medical staff, he ran out to park the car before coming back up to the room I was being wheeled to, in a wheelchair. Upon arriving to room 232, I was helped out of my clothes and into a hospital gown. The nurses came in with friendly, welcoming personalities and smile plastered their faces to get me prepped and check my dilation before allowing me to have my privacy.
I could feel the tears coming. I was now alone in the room, I was about to push my first kid out, I'm in pain. I'm terrified. I know he's just parking the car, but I'm petrified.
The door to my room swung open and in ran a panicked Hugh as he noticed the tears spilling down my cheeks. "Baby girl, are you okay? Is the baby okay?" He asked frantically, grabbing my face gently.
I nodded, "I'm scared." I swallowed the hard lump that felt stuck in my throat.
He began caressing my face, pressing a soft kiss on my forehead, "It's okay, my love. I'm here. There's nothing to be afraid of. Soon, we'll be holding the baby. Our baby." He said reassuringly as he wiped his fingers over the tears streaming my face.
I grimaced as that now familiar wave of contraction pain made its way through my insides. The feeling was getting more painful with each wave that hit.
Hours had went by. My dilation slowly, but surely getting closer. The discomfort and pain I felt has me second guessing if getting pregnant was the right choice. I just wanted the pain to stop. As a nurse walked in, Hugh stood up, standing beside me, holding my hand tightly.
"Mrs. Jackman, it's time to check your dilation. Hopefully we're at the point we can begin pushing." The nurse, who'd introduced herself as Nurse Jackie informed us as she moved the blanket, leaving me exposed to check my dilation. "I'm calling your obstetrician to come down. We'll be ready to begin pushing once he gets here, Mrs. Jackman." She said, removing her rubber gloves and discarding them, washing her hands then walking out of the room.
I looked over at Hugh, running my fingers down my pregnant belly. "I don't think I can do this..." I expressed, my voice laced with fear and doubt. "This pain is fucking unbearable." I shouted while clenching my fists as my body stiffened from another contraction.
He ran his fingers through my hair, "You've got this, love. It'll be all over soon. I promise."
I nodded at his words, slowly closing my eyes waiting for the obstetrician to enter the room. I'd already been given an epidural, but surprisingly, it didn't seem to numb the pain much. Neither did anything else the nurses offered me. About 3 minutes later, the obstetrician entered the room and I immediately felt as if I were going to be sick.
He walked over to me, "Alright Mrs. Jackman, you'll slip your feet in these stirrups here on the bed and we'll start pushing."
I nodded as he guided my feet into the stirrups and got into position to help me deliver my baby. I quickly looked at Hugh, who was standing beside me, at my head with a tight grip on my hand.
Dr. Whitin looked at me, "On the count of 3, I want you to push for me, okay?" He instructed me.
I nodded, closing my eyes as he began to count. Once he hit 3, I pushed hard, praying for relief. Praying for this pain to subside. He did another three count and a nod for me to push again. Still nothing.
After the third attempt at pushing, I looked at Hugh, completely out of breath, tears pouring down my face, "I can't do this. It hurts too bad."
He quickly grabbed both of my cheeks, looking me in the eyes, "You can do this, baby. You can do this. Just keep going."
I exhaled sharply as Dr. Whitin did another 3 count for me to push. I pushed, but nothing was happening. I felt myself slipping into a panic attack as the pain was at an all time high and nothing seemed to be working. Hugh continued running his fingers through my hair, his other hand holding mine. I'm sure I'd damn near been his hand during pushes.
"If the next push doesn't get the baby, we'll need to take you for an emergency c-section. Listen to me, I need you to push as hard as you can. I know it hurts, but we have to do this as quickly as possible, alright?" Dr. Whitin said, sounding a bit concerned.
He held his hand up and began another three count, "Push!" I heard him, the nurses and Hugh yell. I pushed as hard as my body would possibly let me, screaming at the top of my lungs.
I felt light headed. I didn't know if I were going to vomit or pass out at this point. I hear cries filling the room, but I'm too exhausted to move or try to look. Hugh looks at me with tears pooling in his eyes, as he leaned down kissing my head.
"Looks like it's a little girl!" Dr. Whitin exclaimed, holding the baby up  and allowing Hugh to cut the cord before the nurses rushed our baby girl to be cleaned up.
"You did it, mama. She's here." Hugh cried, seeing the sight of his beautiful little girl.
Before I could react, Nurse Jackie came and laid her on my chest. "Look at that beautiful baby. She has a head full of hair!"
I wrapped my arms around the baby that was swaddled in a blanket and looked down at her. She had a head full of dark brown hair. She was the perfect mix of Hugh and I. Perfect in every way. I heard him sniffle beside me, looking down at her.
"She's perfect." He cooed, "Hi Paisley, it's your daddy." His smile was the biggest I'd ever seen it.
I looked up to him, "Hold her." I said, passing her towards him. As he grabbed her from me, his eyes had a glimmer in them that I'd never seen before. Not even from his films. 
He peered down at the small 5lb newborn in his arms, smiling down at her. "She's so perfect." He looked back up at me, "Thank you." He said softly. 
I cocked my head to the side, "For what?" I asked, furrowing my brows. 
He sniffled, looking down at Paisley, "For her. She's everything I imagined she would be." He said softly as she looked up at him cooeing. 
I closed my eyes, resting my back against the pillow. Paisley was perfect. He was the perfect husband, who I'd always known would be the perfect father. I'd fallen into a peaceful slumber overhearing him singing to our daughter as he cradled her.  
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mattsdolll · 5 months ago
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𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥? - 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨
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𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 . . friends with benefits? not really. was it casual when matt kissed you with no strings attached? was it casual when you were tangled in each others bedsheets every night without apprehension? was it casual when you were in love? and nobody even knew. angst with a happy ending !!, i tried to write this with as dramatic as possible cus😁 pls pretend the header matches the fic
"dream of us in a year , maybe we'd have an apartment"
2.1k words
enjoy🤍
you dreaded the day this would happen, it was bound to. you fell hard and fast. pathetically, you were infatuated by him. you stirred out of your unconsciousness, staring at the cracked ceiling paint, you were supposed to fix that months ago, he was supposed to fix it with you. that emptiness in your heart was something only he ever fulfilled. warm summer nights faded into grey snowy evenings, alone in your bed. you hated it, but you could never hate him.
his lips pressed into yours gently, his touch tender. he worked his way down to your neck, evoking a gasp from you. he had such a way of putting you in a lovesick daze, it was sickening. you watched the boy prod and push his lips into your flesh admiringly, you marveled at his features. he pulled his head out of your neck, staring down at you lovingly. he smiled sheepishly, causing you to chuckle. he always had this stupid smile on his face when he was with you, like a little kid at a toy shop. it didn't last long, though.
you scrolled through your messages, tears running down your cheeks as you re-read old texts from him.
9:43am. "I love you soo much, I hope you have the best day ever, can't wait to take you to the beach later, the ocean brings out your eyes a lot"
you threw your phone down on your bed, a teary mess. your mascara flooded from your clamped eyelashes, spilling down your cheeks. you couldn't take this heartbreak, it was killing you. that day, he brought you to the beach knowing how much you adored it. you played in the waves like you would do as a child. he brought out the best in you. he watched the sunset with you, he kissed you. your gaze was fixed upon the sky as you watched the sun slowly begin to set, the sky lit orange and pink. when the sun went down, he was looking at you. he tilted your jaw to face him and mouthed a soft "i love you" before connecting your lips. you kissed him back with just as much pressure.
you ended up making out under the sunset for ages, his hands firmly on your waist as he brought you on his lap. he didn't want sex, he didn't want anything, he just wanted to be with you, to hold you close. he loved you so deeply he couldn't even view you under a lustful gaze. that night he took you home, he washed your hair for you, brushed it out and made you dinner. did i mention it was casual? you felt sick to your stomach at the thought of it.
the same boy who used to wipe your tears when you cried, the same boy who comforted you when things were rough at home, was the same boy who drifted furthest from you. it was momentary, it wasn't healthy at the time. you weren't ready for a relationship, you didn't know how to love. he sat you down one night on your bed, explaining how he felt. the words still lingered in your thoughts, bleeding into your once fond memories of him.
"listen, i don't know what we are, okay? i like you, a lot. i don't wanna lose you sweet girl but i can't be all you have, you need to rely on other things to make you feel better, 's not healthy..i know its hard, but we need to take a break, find yourself, go out and see the world f'me, yeah? i'm gonna find you again, we just need to take things slower."
you hated to admit he was right. you both rushed things and fell too hard. you were too attached. the tears stung your eyes as you barely responded,
"i know, i know, i can't keep running to you for every little problem i just- things are really hard, i'm gonna get better, okay? promise you'll wait for me?"
"promise."
he promised.
he gave you one last long, emotional hug before cutting contact for months. months.
it had been nearly three months since you'd seen your favorite boy, the grief eating you alive. you wished you'd held that kiss a few seconds longer, held him a little tighter, loved him better. you had to get better, for yourself and for him. you held your phone shaky in your hands, the screen slippery from your tears that leaked from your eyes as you typed. he hadn't blocked you, how could he ever leave you? you typed out a rough paragraph, you felt pathetic. you hit send, sitting anxiously in your bed. it had been too long, you craved his touch. you saw the message say delivered, now you had to wait.
you had felt unwell for weeks, your apartment a mess, dishes crowding the kitchen sink whenever you found the energy to cook for yourself instead of ordering yet again another takeout. you were miserable, to say the least.
your phone lit up, vibrating repeatedly, you scrambled to pick it up, checking your notifications. you almost couldn't believe he'd replied. not that he had a reason not to, it was just nostalgic. you read the notification, a simple message illuminating your screen.
"i can come over in a half hour, is that okay?" you replied with a 'yes' and put the phone down. you instantly began anxiously pacing around your apartment. did he wait? does he still love me? am i good enough for him? the thoughts raced through your head, the only thing snapping you out of them was your doorbell ringing.
you didn't even care how you looked, or if you were in pajamas with messy hair. you nearly stumbled into the door, shakily twisting the gold colored door knob. you were met by his blue iris, his gaze gentle. his hair was a little messy, he clearly rushed out the house. his hair was cut slightly shorter, it framed his face a lot. you exhaled deeply as his arms flew around your waist into a soft embrace. you hugged him back, around his neck. he gently picked you up off the ground, squeezing you against his body. "oh, pretty i missed you."
you felt at peace, he provided a sense of solace that soothed your mind. you hadn't felt this comforted in months, gently holding him closer. matt didn't try to kiss you, touch you, or anything. he just went straight for a hug, it was all he needed and he knew it was the same for you. some would consider it toxic, how you'd called him after nearly half a year of no contact, but today you could barely even hold yourself together, you needed him to hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay.
matt knew you struggled with severe anxiety, worse than his. your brain would spiral and it would become unbearable to the point you couldn't even speak. he would sit you down, hold you in his embrace and soothe your thoughts. you couldn't go a day without having yet another flare up or panic attack, it only worsened when he left. you choked up slightly at the feel of his touch, he gently walked you to your room, still hugging you.
"look at you" he mumbled to himself, he didn't find your disheveled state unattractive or ugly, instead he found this side of you perfect. it was natural, it was human. he felt some sort of awe knowing that you only went to him in times like these, that you had created such a safe space with him, no matter what terms you were on. maybe you weren't together or sneaking into each other windows anymore, you never really were together, anyways. but there was still so much love. he sighed to himself, laying you down in bed and getting in next to you, wrapping an arm gently around your shoulder. it killed you that it wasn't skin to skin, cuddling, his head in your neck, but then again you couldn't expect that of him, right?
wrong.
he tugged you on top of his chest, snuggling into your neck since he knew you hated people touching your hair. he made sure to drape the blanket over you just the way you liked it. you gazed up at him. "why are you doing this for me? i don't get it" he chuckled. how could you? "you think i don't know how you are by now? i know you, pretty." pretty. that nickname was your favorite, it was your favorite because only he got to call you that. he stared at you lovingly, not with lust or desire, with pure adoration and innocence. he was the embodiment of gentleness.
"i left you, matt. i threw away everything we had." you choked out, tears instantly forming in your eyes. he wiped them instantly, shushing you. "shh,and i don't care, okay? that doesn't change how i feel about you, i know it was for the best..i forgive you, i'm not mad at you, you're allowed to feel, okay?" you nearly shattered then and there. after all this time, he still loved you despite everything. "i left you too, remember? it's not your fault i love you." he whispered, comforting your cries.
he placed a soft gentle kiss to the crown of your head. were you ready for this? were you "better"? you weren't sure, but you wanted his presence, his sweet touch. you desperately craved him. your love for matt ran deeper than the cells beneath your skin, you could never hate him, more so you had a particular illusion of hatred toward yourself.
a now familiar warmth filled your chest as he clasped your frame in his arms, he stroked his hands up and down your back as you erupted into a fit of sobs. nothing about this was casual to you nor him, you practically dated, just without a label. you only began calming down after nearly half an hour.
"you're okay, i'm sorry." he whispered. how was he sorry? he had nothing to be sorry for, it was your fault, you hated yourself for this very reason. matt didn't see you that way. he never perceived you the way the rest of the world did. he saw something special in you that not even you could see. "i hate that i let this drag on so long, i wish i never walked away." you whispered, a soft almost plea for him to forgive you. he grasped your chin, bringing your lips to his. you eased into his mouth, melting together. the kiss was much softer than anything you had before with him. no, he was never rough with you, he wouldn't dream of it, but something about this was so consolatory.
"you know what? fuck this, yeah? let's start over, you and me, pretty. we can forget everything and start again" he mumbled, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. you thought over what he said, honestly it wasn't a terrible idea. it was methodical, however you couldn't just forget everything, the smiles and laughs, the sobs and sorrows, every single second spent together with matt felt like an eternity. you put your thoughts aside, nodding your head. he didn't mean to forget, just to forgive and take a step forward.
"yeah? you wanna?" he beamed, giggling softly. oh how you missed that smile. you nodded once again, causing him to launch on top of you, smothering you in kisses.
"gosh pretty i missed you—missed this" he murmured against your flesh. you were one again, body and soul. you were filled by that familiar sense of relief, you missed him more. you laid tangled between the sheets for what felt like decades, just holding each other, talking. you loved him, things couldn't get more perfect.
or could they?
just a few months later, you found yourself in his bed. you had moved out of your shitty apartment, and into his small place near the beach. the air was crisp, salty. you crawled out of bed, making a cup of coffee, you could just be. you spent your days with matt, bathing in sunlight, your life was enliven.
you sat on the porch, watching the waves. matt scurried out of the house, eager to sit with you. he placed your drinks down—two glasses of wine. he snuggled up next to you, his head resting on your chest. you draped a shabby throw-over atop your bodies, leaning against him.
"so pretty, so so pretty" he mumbled softly, as you were staring out at the sunset before you, he was looking at you. you diverted your attention to him with a small smile, leaning down to press a small kiss to his wine stained lips.
just mere weeks ago you both would dream of times like these. you were finally happy.
. . .
tags !
@mattscoquette @blahbel668 @emely9274 @pearlzier @wompwomp-1 @bernardsgfs @sturnsxplr-25 @jetaimevous @aesthetixhoe @alyrasturnz @adorsturns @cvntytiger
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