#so i am also dead
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i'm having precisely 10k worth of ayato thoughts.
#another character with a myriad of masks#not many people knowing the true sides of him save for thoma and to some degree ayaka#but even then#much of his persona is rooted in formalities not always niceties but still#how having to be committed to defending his position for so long shaped him as he grew into his position as head of the family#what parts of him where neglected or cast aside in order to preserve that#what freedoms he does and does not have#why he is a little twisted as a person#people saying they hate him because he's “mean” or sadistic is so funny to me like#he's just a guy !!!#ANYWAY MY WIFI IS STILL DEAD#so i am also dead#ooc.
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does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.
#also if it wasnt clear this isnt ‘its bad its lazy’ there is a level of like#completion consistancy i am thinking for with this#personally i really do not enjoy the like. vintage chic long red nails fur coats noir esque aesthetic HOWEVER 💥💥💥#i can recognize that it is put together it is Intentional#i feel like a lot of people are going to say minimalism on this so LET ME SAY 🫰☝️ i recognize that minimalism is Considered an aesthetic#but i *PERSONALLY* do not consider it an aesthetic i consider it the void of one#it is a lapse in aesthetic or personality in the same way a silence in a song is still technically a ‘beat’ but no music is played#however the importance of Space or Breath in design is more akin to a purposeful silence in music#because that silence matters in the same way rhythm and breath in design do#so i guess minimalism is more comparable to like. white noise. the sound of a fan#very little effort and there is a comfort in it i suppose but its not. A Design. okay#TO ME 🤫#if minimalism has one hater its me if minimalism has no haters im dead
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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sandra lynn’s dating history now includes:
the most red-flag, gaslighting, married guy who became a world renowned insidious televangelist and ruined her perception of love and self-worth
the saddest, wettest, cardboard-box-living, yogurt covered man with an ancient hereditary curse of bad luck
the arch devil of gluttony and living embodiment of insatiable desire and hunger
a former drug addict, high school student councillor, werewolf, who’s probably the most mentally healthy person to ever exist
sexy pirate
#sandra lynn if u have 0 fans i am dead i love her so much#also sorry to garty o’brien they r more than just sexy pirate i just thought it was funny to end it like that#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#d20#fhjy#sandra lynn faeth#spina speaks
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what makes us any different?
#my art#alien stage#alien stage spoilers#i finally scratched the itch in my brain just a lil#anyways i am fondly thinking abt comic of ivan antagonizing sua and respectfully sir ur a clown (me saying this while crying)#tfw ur both dead eyed dark haired high achievers who love deeply and would risk it all for ur person#i love that they r so similar in the lengths they'll go to but they're also like ewwww at each other#ivan and sua alien stage u'll always be famous to me
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Parker’s failed dramatic entrance (part 44)
#parker: why am I contemplating my mortality I'm already dead#sorry parker arthurs just built different#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevolent spoilers#malevolent fanart#parker yang#i wanted to try a full page comic style this time#it was so fun!!!#also he is doing the dreamworks face in panel 2 lmfao#my art
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lucretia adventurezones is genuinely one of the best conceived characters of all time and the tragedy that taako and by extension so much of the audience cannot forgive her for her selfishness driven by her steadfast belief in what is right and her immediate decade-long lonely punishment where thirty two years of her life were burned away from her, completely alone, makes my skin ache
i get to this point in the stolen century where lucretia is maybe 18 years old and also 100 years old, so dedicated to preserving life but terrified of living it, and i hear second-hand in less than two minutes about how she fought and ran and salvaged and nearly died entirely alone for an entire year when the six remaining people alive who have ever known her have been frozen into statues. we see her again and she is out of breath and sweaty and completely broken and relieved and changed forever and i think: of course she made that decision
of course she would do anything in the world to save her friends. of course she would take it into her own hands and be selfish and burn the world down and she would do it to save them. she would do it to save the world and she would do it to save the universe. it's so selfish and so unselfish.
and it's like. of course taako can't forgive her for making him forget lup. but i can also imagine years and years and years going by while the world descends into chaos and barry and taako nearly kill themselves and never stop looking for her and never find her. especially because if lup had made it back from that mission she would have immediately been there with lucretia trying to undo what they had done
lucretia is so beautiful and amazing and fantastic because she is the big bad the entire time. she pins them all against each other. she is who she warns them about. she got them into this situation in the first place. she cursed the entire world. she gains their trust by lying to them and she leaves them all so defenseless against the hunger until the second it comes for them.
but she was right. she was right the entire time. she loved them. she made sure they had each other even when she was all alone. she did the only thing that she knew how to do in order to save them all and she was right and she did it all out of love and it worked and some of them will never ever forgive her and she knew that and did it anyway. and i love her so much
#taz balance#the adventure zone#lucretia adventurezones#taz balance spoilers#mine#and also. seeing people speaking in bad faith about her makes me want to cry and rip my hair out she is so so so special to me#she suffered more than jesus and i am dead serious about that
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They were so in love in this scene
#like in any other scene#and they will be in love in season two as well#also i am really busy rn so expect more little doodles from my sketchbook#dead boy detectives#dbda#renew dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#payneland#pictures taken moments before desaster#dextheartist
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apple of my eye 🔪
#i played dead plate ... obsessed. with. them#also i fought this piece the moment i started it. i had such a bad time. i am so glad it's done ajksfhkgfjs#dead plate#dead plate game#rody lamoree#vincent charbonneau#fan art#becki draws stuff n stuff#rendered#i don't know the ship name between them or if there even is one so if anyone knows please inform me HELP#edit thank u for the ship names#vincerody#coal fired heart
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listen I expected literally Nothing from the D&D movie okay, like I can't make it clear enough that I expected the most soulless money grab with a good cgi budget imaginable, I went in having already gone through every stage of grief and landed on acceptance and LISTEN
I fucking CRIED during this dumb RPG movie. it wasn't just "not terrible" it was objectively good with a clever plot and compelling characters and sincere emotional beats. this movie loves D&D so fucking much and it NAILS the "a bunch of goobers try to be cool and accidentally discover The Power Of Friendship And Also Great Violence" classic D&D party vibe. their barbarian's last name is fucking Kilgore and my entire family cried in the theater.
I hope they make twelve of these motherfuckers.
#honor among thieves#dnd#dungeons and dragons: honor among thieves#holga kilgore#she is a BARBARIAN whose name is KILL GORE like who among us has not been in a party with this exact character#some new player who picked whatever they were told was the easiest class and gave them a name that is 98% a joke#and just piggybacked their backstory onto the most experienced player's as like rp training wheels#and then smash cut 60 sessions later and we're all getting choked up over john dingus or whatever#do you motherfuckers know how rarely i cry????? about ANYTHING?????#god it was so good#i am going to watch this an unhealthy amount#i want a separate movie for every red wizard and also one about xenk's backstory#his name is X E N K with an X these writers have played some fucking DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS#do i have to buy dead in thay now?????? i think i have to buy dead in thay now#i literally ran dnd on friday and this movie put me in WITHDRAWAL i want to play some dnd Now
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sorry i stopped posting, i got medicated and also engaged
#also i work 6 days a week and am in grad school#in case you ever wondered what happened to that person you used to follow#people on twitter thought i was dead#not dead! just happy#turns out i’m someone who needs to live a mostly offline life#highly recommend!!#not art#probably my last post ever so see ya#my fiance is a really great person they’ve been my best friend for twice as long as we’ve been together#they’re very private but i’m obsessed with them#really recommend finding someone who makes you incredibly happy#genuinely hope everyone is doing well!! or as well as you can be haha
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I try to pretend redemptions in reach | prints
#art#my art#pepijopa#arthur morgan#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#thought abt how arthur keeps killing himself and the end is unavoidable and threw up<3 so have this#i wanna do more finished proper pieces and i am !! but also its always cowboys- i think ill try more illustration types again tho next#unless i draw my cowboy from rdo#rdr2 fanart#red dead redemption 2 fanart#rdr#red dead redemption#fanart#arthur morgan fanart#painting#cowboy#western#cowboy art
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Some more human turts+Gio because I AM in fact mentally unwell about them. May never actually recover.
The archer au belongs to @goodlucktai
#my art#rottmnt#tmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt leo#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt raph#rottmnt splinter#gio hamato#hamato giorgio#hamato gio#the archer au#human ninja turtles#the way i am constantly thinking about them#should be put under a microscope should be studied#i love them SO MUCH#i would like to flesh out their character designs more#also hi im not dead just only drawing a very specific ninja turtle au atm
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Enter the Crow King, merry wanderer of the night.
He's a little charmer, even when your best mate has captured and jailed one of his crows! He wants you to stick around for a bit longer, though...
@i-am-as-normal-as-you-are commissioned this one, of course! You guys have been waiting for Monty for so long that I feel like I would never have gotten around to drawing him without some help lol
(@m0scorner I stole your gloves. They're just perfect)
Bonus dreamling, because you know the Crow King is stealing that aesthetic:
#dbda#dead boy detectives#payneland#reverse verse#monty the crow#the crow king#niko is not having a good time people#rv!charles has issues with her specifically#i know i'm one of the two people responsible for it#but i am obsessed with her and charles' dynamic#also edwin here is awestruck#i don't think he has processed what just happened just yet#but yes he is already wearing the anklet that prevents him from leaving#also it's been a while i missed drawing dreamling#monty honey you smile so much that it's a bit disturbing#and yeah that was a shakespeare reference#i don't know why the crow king gives me oberon vibes#but also i guess... just puck
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LEON
LEON YOUR EYEBALLS
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#ride kamens episode 14 spoilers#can't believe i made a joke about it being his eye color AND THEN#i did see his updated sprite before i got to 13 but i didn't even notice it at first...#at least he also got a funky little face marking to go with it#shine on you super shitsuji!!!!#anyway I AM FINALLY CAUGHT UP#on main story anyway i haven't played the tower emblem event yet :')#but man i am loving this game#i was not expecting it to be a full-on mystery! with intrigue!#who is lying! who is telling the truth! who THINKS they're telling the truth but isn't!#punctuated by the most delightful nonsense like the unbreakable magic superhero covenants#where you gotta touch rings in the magical wedding chapel dimension that we teleport to sometimes to talk to our dead dad#(OR IS HE???????)#NO IT'S GREAT (and it does make sense in context i just love it)#still 50/50 on yellow beyblade man secretly being our dad but i can't get into theories now i don't have enough tags#man this really has the essence of what i love about rider ❤️#so far i do think agata is my favorite#but then there's leon...#let me put it this way: i would tell agata a hard truth about himself if i thought he needed to hear it#but there is no amount of money in the world you could pay me to say anything even slightly mean to our sweet leon#LET 👏 HIM 👏 HENSHIN 👏#WAIT SHOOT is it too late to redo my survey answers i need to demand that i be able to put hats on leon
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Another year has passed, and with it the opportunity to reflect back on all that has happened. While my growth was not as dramatic as last year, I can still see lots of positive change.
I'll never have enough ways to say thank you for all the love and support you have given me this year. On to 2025!
(2023 summary here!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#art summary#Since last year's independent variable was PD-WWX; this year I used Lan Wangji.#Unfortunately his appearances were not very evenly distributed this year! Lots of LWJ's early in the year#then a dead period in the middle. He is forever my silly rabbit. I love drawing him!#If I have to put a label on this year; I'd describe it as 'experimental'. I pushed myself to do llots of new things!#I drew lots for dungeon meshi and that really boosted my growth. More body types -clothing details - expressions!#Ryoko Kui is a great artist to learn from and It made me realize that I had a lot to gain from doing more studies.#I also started working on a whole new genre of art! While it has taken a backburner spot - I'm working on a game now!#Digital art was my enemy last year but I have been getting a feel for it now.#Goals for this year is to 1) keep working on my personal projects 2) finish PD-MDZS! and 3) practice animation!#I didn't (couldn't) draw as much as I did last year...but I had to take a lesson in humility and taking care of myself.#Drawing is something I do 'for fun' but there were many times it became more stressful than it should.#I'm still learning how to find and maintain balance with everything life throws at me.#We are all works of progress and I am trying very hard to love the process and the journey! I don't really know my destination!#But I will keep taking steps forwards. I never want to be stuck and lost as I once was.#If 2024 was a rough year for you too; We're in this together. Let's keep taking steps together. No matter how small.#Love you all so very much. You've given me strength on the darkest days. Thank you thank you thank you.
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