acollectionofbrokenthings

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

i want you to want me as i want you.

desperately.

i want to make you shiver from my touch. i want to hear your voice, breathless and shaky.

oh, i want you to say my name like a prayer.

full of devotion

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

words are measured by the forkful/ it’s days behind closed doors/ it’s wide eyed nights with what-ifs lying naked next to me/ it’s not all of me/ it seems like/ a lot of me/ it’s a lot// it feels like/ me/ (but it’s not)

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

i dig my fingers into my own flesh trying to dismantle and repair the creation i call myself

will i ever be fixed? am i too far gone?

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

i’ve hoarded your name in my mouth for months

my throat a beehive pitched in the river

look!

look how long this love can hold its breath!!

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

my bones whimper at the thought of what could have been.

what could have been if i was not born in a grave?

sometimes i wish to grow mold like bad meat, at least some sign of life existing through me.

the husk of my being is turning to dust.

i fear there is no growing a second skin anymore.

it is shameful that i will be seen for what i am.

i am pieces.

i am pieces and in pieces i shall remain.

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

i may think of you softly from time to time.. but i’ll cut off my hand before i ever reach for you again

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

i don’t know how to stay tender with this much blood in my mouth

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

at least being an instrument means being held

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

the cage is open.

you can walk out anytime you want.

why are you still in there?

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

the wolf loved the deer

it ripped the deer’s throat out, and then licked the dying deer with the most passionate affection

i thought of you and me.

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

the dog that weeps after it kills is no better than the dog that doesn’t

your guilt will not purify you

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

i hope one day god will tell me why being angry is so much easier

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

I DON’T WANT YOU TO FUCKING APOLOGIZE

I WANT THE GUILT TO EAT YOU ALIVE

I WANT YOU TO DROWN IN YOUR THOUGHTS LIKE I’VE DROWNED IN MINE

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

“You deserve better” is an interesting way of saying I’m not worth getting better for

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

it’s been so long since someone listened to me talk, won’t you stay?

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

and i love you so much, i’m going to let you kill me

[acollectionofbrokenthings]

i wanted to feel loved without feeling like i was begging for it .