#so here is. the inside of my brain

[hollywoodsargeant]

logan smile thesis

so as someone who is both obsessed with logan sargeant and generally really abnormal about smiles when it comes to men i find attractive... i present: me yelling about logan sargeant's smile for entirely too long. because i have a lot of thoughts and feelings about him (and a lot of time on my hands)

i've said it before and i'll say it again: i really like logan's smile!! especially when he smiles really big and his eyes get all squinty to a point where you can barely see them, like. you want to see me fail. and i am failing. so thank you. BUT that is actually not the point of My Thesis

this is the thesis.

okay. uhm. voice of someone who is very normal he very rarely smiles with his teeth when he knows his photo is being taken. there definitely are pictures of him out there where he's looking straight at the camera and full-smiling with his teeth, but the vast majority of pictures where you can tell he knows the camera is there he tends to smile like the left image: lips closed, and lopsided skewing right

LIKE. yeah. emphasis on the middle photo pretty much every selfie i've seen of him with a fan he smiles without teeth -- there's only one i can think of off the top of my head that's different, and it was with like a little kid if i remember correctly (i am logan sargeant encyclopedia)

either way look at this guy and his shut-mouthed grin. so intentional

and on that, most of (if not all) of the selfies he posts on his instagram stories he smiles like this. or just doesn't smile at all, which he also does in plenty of photos, but are you really an f1 driver if there aren't nine billion pictures of you on the internet looking like you want to murder somebody?? not the point of this post

i just think it is interesting that when he takes pictures of himself, he doesn't smile with his teeth. it's the little sideways grin or nothing at all

so most pictures i've seen where he is smiling with teeth he's just. not looking at the camera. or it's one where you can tell he was in the middle of laughing so it's just-- more candid. i mentioned it before but yes there definitely are pictures of him smiling for the camera, and not just around a camera, but there are so few of them (that i've seen) that i made this entire tumblr post about nonsense. so. do with that what you will

also. he's been doing it since he was a kid. + bonus oscar

[egophiliac]

GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY, THE NEXT BOOK 7 UPDATE FOR THE JP SERVER IS SET FOR MARCH 1ST.

HOW WE FEELIN LADS!?!?!

AHHHHHHHH NOOO I'M NOT READY, I thought we'd be getting the fourth anniversary first and then Sebek's birthday and then maybe some more episode 7, I didn't -- I didn't think it'd be Friday --

oh god and they're rerunning the story cards, they didn't say this was the final part but it feels like...maybe the penultimate chapter? could the end of episode 7 finally be looming in the distance?! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO

[lucabyte]

i burned the bridges thoroughly but still everyone's trusting me again and i should be relieved but it happened so suddenly (and i know in my heart i haven't earned this, but everyone acts like my concern isn't a problem like nothing is wrong with my very involvement)

but i know how the song ends (x)

[min-xie]

help i cant stop drawing fem neuvillette

[coolcatsodalite]

Not me sitting here trying to decide if i can turn this Dollzone boy into Skully *sweats nervously*

I think with a small enough brush i could paint the mouth however i want.. and the moon white skin tone (not pictured) they have would be perfect. Will marinate on this and try not to impulse buy but........

[nullapophenia]

hi

hey why does tumblr make numbers so big on their own that's fucked up. like look at this

4

anyways this took like 5 hours and my brain is just gone. enjoy skyfrin

[itwoodbeprefect]

i like learning languages because "fried egg" as a term is pretty straightforward and descriptive, but deep in my heart it's a mirror egg even though i would never have thought of translating it like that before today (dutch "spiegelei", spiegel + ei, literally mirror + egg; german does exactly the same with conveniently the exact same spelling for once, though pronounced slightly differently) and the reason i'm thinking about this is that according to my sources (dictionaries) in thai it's a star egg (ไข่ดาว, khài + daao, literally egg + star) and both of those are infinitely pretty, poetic terms, which makes "fried egg" a sort of punchline purely by contrast. but then as i was looking up the etymology of spiegelei, as one does (it seems to be a translation from french, "oeuf (au) miroir", and it's a mirror because it's, well, shiny), there was a casual mention of the flemish (the people of flanders, the dutch speaking part of belgium) also using the term paardenoog. and that would be horse + eye. which a) feels as descriptive as fried egg, albeit in a very different way, b) does not particularly make me want to eat fried eggs, and c) the "ei" part in spiegelei sounds very similar to the english "eye", meaning that what we've stumbled upon here is the absolute best thing in the world: an incredibly context-dependent cross-language PUN. paardenoog? oh yeah that's a horse ei. oh my goddd

[salsa-di-pomodoro]

Has anyone ever thought of the possibility of people in hisui getting a magazine from AFTER ingo and akari go home with either or both of them on it. Like they've already left and lo and behold in the tail end of the entire mess a magazine appears with one of them on the cover looking fresh stunning and most importantly happy. If it were Ingo i feel like he'd be all dressed up goth on the cover of like Vogue or something lmao (i don't think he wouldn't get famous if he wasn't already after coming home. Theyd want the publicity+cool extint Pokémon on the cover). If it were akari shed probably be like posing all badass like the badass teenager she is, scars in full view (she's a survivor!!!!!!). Inside is a little tidibit of their life after coming home. It would be both funny as hell to see them react to how they are in their element and like connect the dots for their strange behaviors AND bring closure to the people they left in hisui. They may never know this but the people in the past do

If anyone uses this idea tag me i may or may not read it but i want to know if you liked it enough to do something with it. I'll probably just keep daydreaming to myself about it lol

Edit: btw there's a whole section talking about everyone's battle prowess and the battle subway for the funnies. Just so you know

[theswedishpajas]

Magma art dump of random gay Stanley things (Featuring me! Go figure!)

Anything that isn’t in some kind of blue or yellow is by one of my friends

[yukipri]

Fordo wants to show you his General!

~~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, TRANSLATE, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART. To share, please reblog! Reblogs and comments greatly appreciated!!!

❀ You can see the rest of my art through the Masterpost pinned to the top of my blog!

~~

Inspired by the Hot Toys new design for General Kenobi:

[sentientstump]

that melting expression spoke of troubled analysis of surroundings, it appears on my face every day too. (translation: ayo, my eyesight is also goofy!!!)

doodle page with exploration of the theme for this comic below 👇🏼

literally drew that face and was like "huh, i will implement this idea into the very core of my being. no one can stop me " or something like that- xD

[doodlejoltik]

my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

hi! i was thinking about the difference in kaveh’s reaction in a parade of providence’s ending when it is alhaitham vs the traveler telling him about his father with relation to sachin. with traveler, kaveh readily and openly admits that he still feels guilty anyway. with alhaitham, he curiously doesn’t, and I wonder if that’s conscious or unconscious. Does he know, however subconsciously, that alhaitham disagrees with him feeling guilty over his father’s death, or that alhaitham was trying to help him overcome that guilt? but he is not ready to let go of it so he specifically doesn’t mention it to not provoke a discussion and give alhaitham the chance to further show him reasons why he shouldn’t feel guilty? both to avoid being swayed and more arguing about a painful topic… (or maybe he just got distracted by alhaitham’s teasing about ‘thank you’s. or maybe the teasing was alhaitham’s olive branch and a way to go back to their usual banter because he knew the new info was still not enough and kaveh wasn’t ready yet…)

anyway, just wondering about how kaveh, while having no problem discussing delicate and private matters with alhaitham (this conversation, and then when he was homeless at the tavern) presumably because he trusts him and still feels close to him in a familiar way, is very, very careful to not mention his guilt still… could also be trauma after their final thesis argument, maybe?

hiya!! thank you so much for this ask!! HAPPY ONE YEAR TO A PARADE OF PROVIDENCE!! <333

you raise extremely valid and scrummy points, thank you for giving me an opportunity to talk about this event hehehe

i think it's deliberately ambiguous as to kaveh's thinking here, as you've said, with the traveler, kaveh openly admits that although his father's depressive slump after the interdarshan championship and him joining a research project in the desert wasn't directly connected to him, rather it was sachin's influence, kaveh still believes he was the catalyst for this chain of events, and therefore he believes he is still to blame

with alhaitham, however, this mention of guilt is omitted, and kaveh thanks alhaitham for letting him know about 'all this', which reads not only as alhaitham letting kaveh know about sachin's influence over his father, but also as a reference to their discussion about their respective philosophies - with alhaitham concluding that their issue is not who is right or wrong in their approach to life, because as is concluded within this event - 'correctness' is a subjective way of thinking; alhaitham being 'right' about egoism, or kaveh being 'right' about altruism, ultimately doesn't matter, but, to alhaitham, what does matter is sacrificing oneself for the sake of a subjective ideal - this is a fate he does not want for kaveh

the difference in context between the traveller telling kaveh about sachin versus alhaitham, is that kaveh knows that alhaitham is looking into sachin but he doesn't know why alhaitham is specifically interested as he (rightfully) knows that alhaitham isn't interested in nihilism. this contradiction in alhaitham's behaviour is such an issue for kaveh that he repeatedly questions it within the remainder of the event after discovering alhaitham's note, seemingly about sachin, but addressed to kaveh in a language only they know. when the traveller reveals the news to kaveh, this context is removed, and the connection between the discovery and alhaitham is severed. the element of personal has been omitted.

when alhaitham tells kaveh the news, however, kaveh questions why alhaitham is interested in sachin's research, only for alhaitham to tell him that it isn't because of philosophies at all - it's due to sachin's connection to kaveh's father. this is personal. alhaitham is the only one who knows about the source of kaveh's guilt, in comparison to the traveller and paimon, who kaveh evaded confiding in. it's revealed to kaveh here that alhaitham has personally looked into this matter for kaveh's sake - but the question left unanswered is why?

in terms of kaveh's understanding of alhaitham, this is a pretty big deal, since kaveh interprets alhaitham as constantly criticising his ideals and his philosophies (whereas, alhaitham is actually highlighting the detriment of kaveh's pursuit of his ideals). alhaitham openly stating that they have moved on from asserting 'correctness' over each other, and that this isn't the issue, actively prompts the question of what the actual issue is - coupled with this is the impact of alhaitham's actions in this event. alhaitham leaves kaveh a cryptic note about the idealist never being able to accomplish happiness for themselves if they detriment themselves for the sake of achieving happiness for others, which kaveh (rightfully) doesn't understand in relation to sachin. and then alhaitham reveals to kaveh that he looked into his father's disappearance, and kaveh is not the sole instigator as he believes himself to be.

your point about kaveh's guilt never openly being discussed is crucial here i think in terms of subtext. the source of his guilt, being his belief he lead to his father's passing, is questioned by paimon and the traveler, to which kaveh evades telling them. alhaitham is the only person who does know the reason kaveh detriments himself in his altruism, as shown in their argument in their akademiya days. alhaitham looking into sachin must tell kaveh something, but again, it isn't revealed exactly what kaveh thinks, and alhaitham never reveals the reasons why he looked into it, and what he hopes to achieve.

although i think this is more due to narrative reasons, the wounds left from their argument are definitely a factor in this evasion of mentioning kaveh's guilt - a parade of providence deliberately highlights the miscommunication between alhaitham and kaveh, and this is solely due to their past argument. kaveh not mentioning his guilt could be because he doesn't fully understand why alhaitham has looked into this incident for his sake, and alhaitham says nothing more about it because he knows it's still too early for kaveh to process - narratively, i think this is what's at play here

alhaitham teasing him is definitely a way to revert back to their normalcy, however, i also think it serves as a distraction - and it works!! kaveh is relatively cheery in comparison to how upset (as described by paimon) he is when the traveler tells him the news. narratively wise, i think it's a good place to leave it as nothing is inherently confirmed - the potentiality for kaveh and alhaitham separating is eradicated; kaveh and alhaitham continue living with each other, and kaveh is seemingly no longer intent on moving out of alhaitham's house, having thanked alhaitham for his words, rather than finding them 'infuriating'. this is an open ending and gives their narrative arcs freedom to potentially (hopefully) be developed in the future

(from the leaks, i'm going to say that the 'good' ending, or the ending that coincides with the arc that these characters are undertaking, is the ending in which it is alhaitham who tells kaveh of sachin's involvement with his father - i'll have more to say about this at another time!!)

Thank you again for your ask?? Your points were really insightful into their messy little psyches!! Everything you said rings true <333

[essektheylyss]

I was personally assaulted (honorific) by this essay on ambition. It's very good.

[rosenbergamot]

Something about a bottle of vodka that (almost) jogs your memory

“Scar…” Grian’s exasperated voice rings through monopoly mountain. He quickly peeks down into the first level. His friend is holding the bottle of vodka he had managed to find ages ago. “Where on earth did you find this. How on earth did you find this. What even are you doing with this.” 

None of his ‘questions’ are actually questions; his inflection does not go up, as Grian is not actually curious as to where he got the alcohol, rather he is tired of his shenanigans and trying desperately not to lose his mind. Scar kicks his feet and giggles, his hair leaking over and dangling in the air. 

“Why, I got it from the village, of course! Before I burnt down that house— you remember the one, don’t you, Grian? It seems those pesky villagers knew how to distill alcohol. Have you ever seen that before, Grian? Distilling alcohol? In a village? It’s madness!” 

Grian’s beady little eyes glare up at him from the ground floor. “Scar, I don’t think either of us have seen villagers before we got here. There’s not much we’ve seen.” 

Of course they have. They’ve had to. It was only natural— he knows it in his heart. But they can’t remember this fact. When Scar tries to hold onto the memory, it floats away from him. Things he should know dissolve between his fingers. Things he shouldn’t know linger on the back of his neck. 

He picks up his cane and walks downstairs. The slats of the window are tiny but if one squints and tilts their head in the right direction, then they can see the entire desert and forest sprawled out in front of them. The sands sometimes hold their footprints until the wind blows them away, covers the paths they’ve taken. They’re still working on building up a cactus wall as defense. 

The sandstone awards them a bit of coolness in the day. At night it becomes unbearable, as they both flock upstairs to try and conserve as much heat as possible. There’s always a careful distance they keep from each other in the day, but during the night it becomes impossible to do so. When Grian grumbles and pushes his nest towards Scar’s sleeping bag, curls up right next to him and nudges at his arms until they open and he can be enveloped by him, that’s when Scar truly feels like he’s back to being a person again. 

If they could mend the self inflicted rift that exists in the daytime… well, maybe Scar wouldn’t feel so prone to drinking. As it stands, though, Grian’s found his bottle of alcohol and he is not looking impressed.

“Say, have you ever had a drink before?” He asks as he peels the bottle out of Grian’s hand. He smells like the sun. He’s been out all day. 

Grian scoffs, his pretty features twisting a bit as he obviously thinks about it. “Of course I have! I-- well, I haven’t had one here, but I can only imagine I have before. In another life.”

In another life. If only they got to have that. Another life seems like an intangible dream. 

He hums thoughtfully. He’s only had a few drinks from this bottle. Just enough to stave off the gnawing anxiety and bloodlust that grows underneath his skin everyday. 

He starts to toss the bottle from hand to hand, watching the way the liquid inside jostles. “The taste was at least a little bit familiar to me when I tried some. I’ve definitely had it before! No clue when. I wonder what I liked to drink before I got here? That guy… the other me. I wonder what he was like.” 

He laughs but it doesn’t have much humour. 

And Grian’s eyes look softer when he finally peels his stare away from the droplets racing down the bottle. “Yeah, it would seem that bits of our past bled through into this life. Like, I can’t resist pressing a button or flicking a lever no matter how dangerous it may be. Other me must’ve been a right moron, don’t know how I lived to be… here.” A hum. “And redstone makes me… sad. As if I’ve lost something close to me. Something really important." His face falls. “I don’t get it.” 

Normally Grian only gets like this when the sun falls. Normally he’s guarded, witty, sharp; and Scar is much the same, each of them trying so desperately to preserve what little bits of dignity they have left here. Prideful people. Pride is such a sin, he can see it now. 

He sits down, stares at the swirling shapes of the sandstone on the wall. “Sometimes I can feel my brain try to remember my memories. Things important to me. People important to me. But it’s like there’s a… a block.” 

A strange warble comes from Grian. He makes those sounds sometimes-- bird sounds, that is, which makes a lot of sense given that he is a hybrid, but they only happen in specific circumstances. They’re different each time, from chirps to melodies to whistles to clicks. It happens when he’s bored, when he snuggles up next to Scar at night, when he accidentally hurts himself, when Pizza is being extra cute.

This sound is sad. It rings in his chest. 

“I’ve tried to ignore it.” Is what he admits after a few minutes. “I, um… grabbing this gave me one of those feelings like you described. It was as if I’d done this before. Not just with anyone. With you...” His voice gets real quiet at the end. 

Scar fights to keep his voice even as he responds. “Do… do you think we knew each other before?” Before we got thrown into hell. 

For Scar, the answer to that question is obvious: yes. He felt it as soon as he saw all of them. He felt something deep in his chest when he saw Grian, flashes of memories trying to bubble up to the surface but unable to. When Bdubs first spoke to him, he felt an immediate instinct to comment on his height-- which would have been very rude of him! They’d just met, after all!

Except they hadn’t. They’d known each other before. An election. A moon. A home. What even is he trying to remember? 

“I…” Another sound worms its way out of Grian. It’s more desperate, uncomfortable. He laughs it off awkwardly. “Can I try a sip of that alcohol? I think I suddenly need it.”

For the first time since they began talking, Scar really looks at Grian. His face is tight with stress, eyes shiny, nose flaring. His feathers are all fanned out, his ears twitching. In another life, Scar thinks maybe he also had wings. He can feel an absence on his back, like something has been missing all along, a vital piece of him.

Grian’s wings don’t work. None of the avians have actual working wings that can sustain them for a long period above the ground; they can all flutter, sure, but it’s as if their bodies aren’t made for it anymore despite them having these traits. 

He tries to make his smile as gentle as possible as he passes him the bottle. “Of course, of course! Would be downright cruel of me to make you handle this while sober!” He aims for a humorous tone, but the situation is so fucked up and strange that it falls flat. His smile is pulling painfully at the edges. 

Grian unscrews the bottle, smells it. He makes a face. He looks at him.

“I recommend not smelling it.” 

He rolls his eyes, then takes a swig of it. The face immediately turns to disgust. He swallows it, gagging, coughing, pounding his fist onto the table. It looks just like he did when he tried for the first time. It makes him start to laugh. 

“Scar!” He wails. “It tastes horrible!” 

“It does.” He swipes it from Grian, steeling himself before taking a sip. He only flinches a little bit this time. He looks to see if it impressed Grian, but the avian is flapping his hands, eyes screwed shut. Dangit. “It’s not supposed to taste nice, Grian! Because then you would drink all of it and it would be horrible. It’s the alcohol’s defense mechanism, y’see? It makes itself so bitter when you first take a sip that you run away immediately! That way you don’t drink it all right up and end up gettin’ yourself killed! But it doesn’t work on me.” 

For better or for worse.

Peeling his face off the table, Grian turns to glare at him. “Well, it could stand to taste a little less like… that. Maybe then it would hurt less people.” 

“I guess.” He studies the way the bottle glints in the diminishing daylight. “So… are you gonna have anymore?”

“Are you kidding me?” He scoffs. “Of course I am. Pass it here.”

[aroacewxs]

Black Hole Fantasy - Rui's Acceptance Towards Change (Character & Lyric Analysis)

Hello! This came to me in a vision. I'm either factually correct or just deranged to the point where every single song reads as Rui to me, but oh well!! I love the Crane Wives, I love this song, this album so so much. And I like Rui. So this is your sign to listen to Beyond, Beyond, Beyond in its entirety from beginning to end as intended. For me. (Please. It's also for your own good.)

Note: This is more of a middle school/main story Rui analysis but it applies to so many more of his focuses as well : ) I just didn't want to include everything or else it would end up too messy and long!

Aren't you tired of going through the motions? Is the daily grind meant to dull the mind? I sense a window somewhere closing Somewhere in the world that I just have to find

We start off by looking through the window of a depressed teenager, roughly fourteen or fifteen, slowly wearing his heart and mind away. Every day is the exact same: he wakes up, goes to school (whether he actually sits through class is a whole other story), he keeps his head down, his presence small and tiny. He melts into the background and becomes nothing more but an idea, a rumour. There is no place for him here; all he can do is watch from a safe enough distance.

And Rui knows, he knows that happiness exists. He knows it's there, but it's not here. Not for him. Maybe, in another pocket of the universe where he didn't have to eat lunch alone, but rewriting his story this way, well, that just wouldn't be his story anymore, would it?

The days blur together I watch the ceiling buckle, the walls are closing in There's a black hole in the living-room floor I keep trying to ignore, but it's growing

And even though he can try all he wants, remaining apathetic to the life he was given, he can't ignore how much it eats away at him. It's leaving holes in his chest, holes much too big for a simple fix. He'll take them with him wherever he goes, even as he leaves the rooftop, graduates, leaves the school, leaves the next one.

Even after he cuts his hair, transfers to Kamiyama, and carries on with his guerilla gigs like usual, he doesn't feel whole.

Why? Why won't it go away?

If love is just a chemical reaction Is there a pill to take? Something to quell this ache? Is this the real thing or a distraction? Is it worth the risk? My life would detonate

My knuckles hesitate an inch away from the door What happens when it opens?

It doesn't go away when Tsukasa approaches him with a generous invite, either. He's honoured, of course, but it brings him more fear and dread if anything. There's no way, he tells himself. Life has taught him that no matter how much love he has to give to the world, the world is simply not as loving. He can't take this chance, not again.

And even if it was good enough to be true, just enough good for someone like him, there's no way it would last. It's only a matter of time before they look at him like everybody else did, and all that would be left for Rui is to watch the world from above like he always did, revelling in the fact that he was proven right once more.

Even in my fantasy, I can't commit to believing That I'll get what I want, I'm afraid of what I want Even in my fantasy, I keep the car running In case I need to take off

The months blur together I watch the ceiling buckle, I wonder when it's caving in There's a black hole in the living-room floor I keep standing on the edge and looking in

After all, it's better this way! It's better this way: barely within arm's reach, always a few feet from the door, bags packed from the very beginning, ready to leave when it becomes clear to him that he is probably not welcome anymore.

All Rui needs is complete and utter freedom to make the shows he wants to make. He's convinced himself that he doesn't need other people. People are people, I am me. It's as simple as that, and there is no use in hoping for anything more.

But, deep deep down, he knows it's not true. He's known forever now that something was missing, something he can't place a finger on. This wasn't enough, it will never be enough, but he can't spit those words out himself. Admitting to the truth means accepting that you are unhappy, not like this, not forever, who are you trying to fool, you need more, YOU NEED MORE. However, for someone like Rui who has been taught to believe that he is a selfish person, a cruel, heartless thing who would do whatever it takes to get what he wants, it was easier settling with the little he had.

This is how it should be, Rui tells himself and to nobody else.

But a small, small part of him, something he left years ago in an empty room, cried for someone else to be there with him too.

And on the other side is another life A version of me with a spark in her eyes That I don't have And now she's laughing And it's killing me that I cannot see What's making her laugh From where I'm standing And I have to know So, I'm going in I'm going in

I don't exactly have a perfect way to segue this into the last verse but I just really love the imagery of a younger, sadder Rui, watching his future self from a distance, and he's laughing, smiling, and he's so full of life. Who did he meet that he could let loose and just simply be? Who is making his face crinkle up into the smile he can't even muster anymore? Who is putting the shine in his eyes, the love in his heart? He wants to turn away, it's not real, it's not true. There's nothing like that for him. Not in this life. But the more he watches the more he hurts and the more he hurts the more he feels until all he can do is take that first step forward, reach his hand towards the light, and pray that something catches him.

Let's try this again I'm on my way to your house, guided by the stars I'm pulling in the driveway, I'm turning off the car I'm running to your porch, I'm sprinting up the stairs The door swings open and you're standing there You're beaming down at me, you're reaching out for me And pull me in your arms, and I feel your heart pounding I take a step back to catch my breath And we look at each other and double over and laugh, and laugh, and laugh

And years later, it hits him. That smile, that laugh he saw, was truly only possible due to the fact HE took that first step. It was Rui who "turned off the car," he's not running away anymore, he's moving forward. It was Rui who kept his arm outstretched, Rui who carried the courage to change, Rui who decided to grow closer with Wonderlands x Showtime, his classmates, and ultimately, with true friends outside of his troupe. Had he kept his heart closed away, cold from the wind on the school rooftop, everything would have stayed the same. Rui accepted change with himself first. Rui's change started with Rui.

And, by god, how good does it feel! How amazing is that breath of fresh air, the ache in his ribs from laughing too hard, the sores in his face from smiling too wide? How astonishing is the realization that oh, this is still you! It's still you! Despite everything, all the hurt, the loss, every sliver of joy in your life, it's still you! Maybe not quite anymore, but every part of you, at least a remnant, a memory, lives on in you alone. The Rui smiling with his friends today is the same Rui who believed that there was nothing in this world left for him. He's the same Rui as the Rui three, five, ten years ago, in the smallest of ways. And he carries every single part of him wherever he goes, close to his heart. And that really means something to me.