#so he must be good if he can get me rambling lmao

[chloelouygo]

Trying hard in therapy so I can fix myself to make my therapist proud 🫡

[quietwingsinthesky]

youtube stop recommending me that five hour long “fall of doctor who” video challenge. there is not a video i could be less interested in watching.

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[shinysobi]

"it was awkward to see colin flirt and behave like a rake" "he gave me the ick" yes ! that is the fucking point!! congratulations! you have the media literacy skills of a fucking monkey because my 4-year old niece could understand it better than you do.

we are supposed to find colin cringey and annoying and get the ick because that is not who he is. he is not anthony, or simon, or even benedict. colin (apart from gregory) is the sweetest of all bridgerton brothers (i'm going by book canon) and his most identifiable character trait is the fact that he values an emotional connection above everything. he runs away to the continent because he wants to feel that emotional connection. he has meaningless sex in brothels because that is the example he has seen growing up, that is the norm. he tries so hard to fit into the norm. he goes out drinking, adopts an entirely new personality, learns flirtations because that is how he thinks he will fit in. he's got armour on, as violet said. he puts everyone's needs above his own, he stops rambling on and boring his family with details of his trip because he knows no one cares. he doesn't talk to anthony or benedict about his heartaches because he knows they still, somewhere in their heart of hearts, view him as the annoying younger brother. he's so devastated by his closest friend not responding to him that he adopts a new personality in the hopes that it might mask the hurt better. he runs after penelope in episode one because he is so attuned to her emotions that he knows she's hurting, and tries to comfort her even when she's spiraling and lashes out. he must have been hurt by her words in the "good night mr bridgerton" scene but he puts it aside to genuinely apologise to her when literally no one else in that family would do that. colin, instead of brooding over his own feelings, goes and corners penelope in her family's garden and apologises to her, disregarding his own hurt at being cruelly dismissed by his close friend.

penelope asking colin to kiss her is not a mark of how "pathetic" she is. she has written and shamed herself in a manner that is almost entirely unsalvageable. she is at her lowest point, and then portia comes in and reminds her of how undesirable she is, and she sinks even lower. she asks colin to kiss her because she sees it as a final act, after which she can quietly wave goodbye to her dreams of ever getting married and leaving her mother's home. colin kisses her because he is also keenly aware of how she's feeling. he knows how hurt she is, he wants to do anything to alleviate that. be it cracking a joke, or kissing her. he is gentle, because he wants it to be something she can dream of when she's by herself. penelope, at this moment, has no hope for herself, and their kiss is an act of letting go for her. no, it's not a pity kiss, no he did not like her after her glow up, he has always loved her. him being struck dumb is a reaction to her physical transformation, nothing more. he does not flirt with her in that ballroom scene, he only approaches her when she's in distress. he's not flirting with her. i can assure you penelope could wear the frumpiest most neon yellow gown of all time and colin would still go "<333 my pen" for her.

colin jumps to catch the balloon's ropes because he sees that penelope is in danger, he does not give a shit about anyone else lmao. he feels temporary relief when he sees eloise run to safety, but the moment he sees penelope in immediate danger, he rushes to take action. afterwards, when he sees that she's being comforted by debling (all my homies hate debling, even if he is aro/ace coded i do NOT claim him) he does not approach her. it would be easy for him to do so, but he does not, because he respects her boundaries. colin bridgerton is the only man in the ton who respects women (the featherington sons-in-laws are too pretty to have a thought) he calls out fife and his friends for treating women like objects and calls them cavalier. the only way he would have been more explicit about his demisexuality was if he tap danced on the club table (entertaining thought, luke newton please)

colin also rapidly takes action, something which no one in the show has done so far. simon would have died instead of accepting his feelings for daphne, daphne would have been content with a loveless marriage forever instead of asking for help. kate would have pushed edwina down the aisle and gone off to india instead of confronting her own feelings, and anthony would have married edwina if she hadn't been brave enough for the three of them to run from the altar and ruin herself. penelope stood on the sidelines for years and loved him quietly because she had no hope of him loving her back. colin, the moment he is assured of his feelings, runs to penelope, almost kisses her in the middle of a ballroom. when he hears that debling is about to propose, he goes to the ball, just to dissuade penelope one more time. he cuts into their dance because he's desperate. when he runs after her carriage, he asks her if she has been proposed to, because he would not have touched her otherwise. he confesses his feelings to her only when he knows that she hasn't gotten engaged to debling, and when she says "but we are friends" he moves away. nothing more. he would have let her go, if she did not return his feelings.

idk whether i should be flattered or offended at people misunderstanding this season because on one hand it is offensive, but on the other hand, it means only smart people get polin. seriously. your minds have been rotted by insta-love and enemies to lovers that you can't even appreciate the innate beauty of friends to lovers. being friends with someone and then holding all those feelings for them. the trepidation of possible rejection. the fulfillment of being loved by the person who knows you the best of them all. the privilege of loving someone whose feelings you know better than your own. love is gentle and kind and yes it is a violent, uprooting force but above all, love does not hurt anyone. it does not hurt you. i could love someone quietly for years and it wouldn't bother me if their feelings were requited or not because my feelings are none of their business and i consider it a privilege to love and be loved by them, even if it is not in the way i would want it to be. polin are privileged in the highest sense. they know each other better than anyone else, they know how to love each other better than anyone else. to think they are rushed or they dont deserve each other is a disservice to both of them. they would be miserable with anyone else.

in other matters, if i see one more person talking smack about luke or nicola behind the safety of their screens i will personally get a bazooka.

[rosyandraw]

Please write the damen thesis

I fucking love a good Captive Prince meta and as you didn’t give me any direction or specific topic that you wanted to see I’m just going to have a play around with the narrative themes and Damen's arc, so here’s a 3k late night caffeine induced ramble about Damen that might not be 100% coherent:

Damen and the Sword of Damocles or: The Burden of Duty.

In the legend Damocles made the mistake of commenting about the apparent happiness of the tyrant king Dionysus. Dionysus who, in actuality, is terrible and a big fat emo, figured he’d invite Damocles to dinner where Damocles was pampered, spoilt, and treated to a good time. However, Dionysus had hung a big ass sword over Damocles, hanging by a single hair and it could fall at any moment. Once Damocles noticed, he realised he couldn’t enjoy any of the dinner any more or any of the amazing things happening to him and around him.

The sword of Damocles has come to mean imminent danger. In the legend it was a symbol of the price of power. Power is a burden and as long as you have it you must constantly be vigilante, no desire or earthly pleasure will come without the knowledge that at any moment it can disappear, it might even mean very little because of it. Almost as if the ultimate price of power is the sacrifice of the things you might want.

And therein lies the central themes of Captive Prince: power, and duty vs desire.

Damen, much like Damocles in the beginning of his tale with Dionysus, was completely blind to the danger that was hanging over him. Damen didn’t so much notice the sword hanging over him as Jokaste pointed a big neon flashing sign at it in all its horrendous glory.

Damen is, for the first time, confronted by the idea that power is not a stable or steady notion. Or state of being. And he had, until this point, taken it for granted. Blind to the reality of what it meant and the sword hanging over him.

That’s not to say I think Damen is completely naïve. He knows power has costs, but his own specific psychology allows it be far away, it just is what it is for him. Something he just has to do and so locks it away. It’s the battle at Marlas: a job to be done. It’s being separate from others both personally and professionally (separate from his men, separated from Nikandros and not being able to serve at the Kings Meet, no close connections etc), it’s having to be perfect (clearly extensively trained and educated) and working hard and duty above all. But the threat?

The throne lies in the shadow of the gallows and Damen is for the first time recognising how precarious power is, how poisonous, how close the threat can fester.

Damen’s entire journey from then on, he is in a continued state of fight or flight, and that sword hanging over him does not get any lighter or any less perilous. (I could likewise talk about Damen and Laurent’s super interesting fight or flight reactions but that is a topic for another time lmao)

Damen’s journey, and his arc throughout the trilogy, can be stripped back to the notion of power and his attempt to regain his own. It’s loss, it’s meaning, how he defines himself and the world and what he understands of it: all of these relate to Damen’s understanding of, and struggle with, his own power. In its most basic form Damen loses his crown and his journey is about retaking it. The crown, we know, is the ultimate symbol of power. It’s all very blatant. Especially when coupled together with power in its most physical sense as one of Damen’s most frequented attributes from scene to scene. Damen is powerful, strong, and wilful, people listen to him, he has an unshakeable determination and has a pretty astounding effect on those around him even when he is unaware of it. Damen, we are told, is a King. Not just by birthright but in action. He has all the makings and markings of a leader. Because of this Damen always has some sense of power.

We see it over and over in a myriad of different scenes: Damen’s true sense of power is innate to himself and his abilities. Especially with a sword in hand. Damen is all wrapped up quite obviously in the theme.

However, though Damen’s journey to regain his power is the main focus of the narrative, it’s not his arc. Damen’s real journey, his internal struggle, is all about his identity.

Again, at its most basic, it seems heavy handed to say so: Damen spends the mass majority of the books hiding his identity after all, so of course it’s a theme, of course his slow decisive fight for his own power walks hand in hand with clawing back his identity. However, as we know, by the end of the trilogy we are very much aware that Damen’s identity journey was never about the crown. It was never about coming clean or using his real name and title. It was never about the unveiling of himself to all of those around him to be known. It was about discovering himself. Damen the man and not Damianos the prince.

And this dichotomy sets the stage for the real journey of Captive Prince: duty vs desire.

Damianos of Akielos: the rightful king, the son and heir, The Noble Man. He is the consummate Crown Prince, a military commander, an astute -almost legendary- warrior. The Perfect Son. The man who cares what people see of him, who is bound by tradition and expectation. The face of power and duty.

Damen the man: gives no fucks what people see of him, desperate for affection but afraid to ask for it, lost and full of doubt, empty no matter how he indulges himself. Almost self destructive and negligent with his own safety as if he has something to prove, as if he’s always striving for something, mad at his father, confused by his brother, indulgent of his own wants without thought because it’s easier than questioning. His dead mother’s son, his father’s hope. Compassionate and protective and innately aware of other peoples vulnerability. This is his internal face, the man and not the crown. Full of desire and emotionally broken.

Damen has, for a long time, kept himself at arms-length. Nikandros is his only real friendship, his tragic family life is nothing but duty and trauma. His love life is full of sex and no emotional intimacy. He never, not once, considered Jokaste as anything but his mistress. It wasn’t Jokaste that broke his heart, it was Kastor. She is explicitly his mistress; someone he is intimate with only during sex. She’s not his future and she knows this. She will never be Damen’s queen; it never even crosses his mind.

I assume Damen, like most princes, thought he’d marry for duty. A political marriage that would ultimately not be his choice, so why bother getting close?

This is where the masculine culture of Akielos would come into play and we could spend hours here playing around with the heteronormative aspects of both Akielos and Vere (normalised queer sexual relationships aside there are deep underlying mentalities here surrounding the themes of submission and masculinity and what is Acceptable. I liken it to Rome in this respect: totally cool to stick your dick wherever if you are a citizen, not so cool to take a dick unless you are in a category Roman's viewed as inferior, but that's an entire essay unto it self). This is yet one more place wherein Damen struggles and where his wants don't necessarily align with the expectation of him. Bottom line: Damen doesn't really personally give a shit, but Damianos does. And we see this by the Akielon (Nikandros and Makedon) reaction to Damen's cuffs, scars and circumstance and how Damen reacts to these things both as his own person, and as a man who knows how Akielos will perceive it.

Segregation, compartmentalisation, and separation. These three are the main components of Damen’s trauma manifesting in his personality. I could talk about his psychology, his trauma, how and why this happened. But that is a different discussion for a different day. Right now, all we need to be aware of is that Damen does this in every single aspect of his being and within the narrative.

He does it with sex (separating the physical and the emotional), his trauma (stowing it away and dismissing it instead of feeling it, as if acknowledging and feeling were one and the same), with politics (slavery, Akielos vs Vere), with his father (the king vs the man), with his brother (the resentment he is aware of vs the desperate want of his brother), what he thinks he needs vs what he wants.

Damen never sees himself as a slave. Never not once, does he doubt himself in this regard. He doesn’t feel it. He doesn’t allow himself to feel it. Not truly, there is never a breakdown, never a moment in the first two books where this terrible tragic traumatic thing gets the better of him.

This is because Damen has always split himself in half this way. We see it again and again, explicitly, and implicitly, Damen is a man of two faces.

Damianos the Crown and Damen the man. This is how he keeps himself so separate from the shackles he finds himself in. Because it’s not him, not really, and only someone used to compartmentalising aspects of themselves could do what Damen does in Vere as easily as he does.

It is no surprise that the real meeting of those two faces is what causes Damen to (finally) spiral. Not well, of course, Damen’s too controlled to spiral fully, but Damen only loses his shit a handful of times in all 3 books (and considering his chronic fight or flight is popping the fuck off it's actually super impressive but I digress).

I’m talking the out-of-control kind of loses his shit, and almost all of them are for Laurent. These are: the kidnappers in Vask when they lay suggestive hands on Laurent and Damen reacts to Laurent’s innate sense of vulnerability in this regard, it’s not jealousy, it’s because Damen is, at heart, a protector.

The Kings Meet, where Damen’s rage for Laurent sees him absolutely lose it at one of his Kingdoms most sacred places. Again, it’s not jealousy, it’s not even something he digests because fundamentally Damen already knew. He just hadn’t confronted it, allowed himself to think of it, so when it’s spelled out for him he doesn’t question, he just reacts. With rage. For Laurent.

There are only 2 other times Damen really loses it on page where it comes out as pure Viking Berserker rage: Charcy and with Makedon. Both of these times he has been pushed to the end of his emotional tether and he snaps.

Which is odd for Damen, who has so much control. It’s no surprise these things occur after the clash of his two faces when Nikandros and an Akielon army kneels for him at Ravenel. Charcy, where the man in love is determined and worried and willing to hope for Laurent. Where the Rightful King is very fucking aware that he should be heading south and this battle is not tactically something he needs to do or even that he should do and that his men are certainly not on board with.

Makedon, we know, is a target for Damen’s rage because he is there. But he’s not really attacking Makedon, it’s everything, the accumulation of hit after hit that breaks because, again, Damen is at the absolute end of his emotional tether. With Laurent, with Kastor, with Jokaste, with his position, with the future opening up before him where he knows he can’t win the way he wants. Because at that point, his real wants are impossible. And the prospect opening up before him is cold and empty and a crown he should never have had to fight for, against a man he loves even now despite everything. Abusers, we know, are good at getting that response from their victims.

If Damen had had those two aspects of himself confronted before he fell in love with Laurent then nothing would have changed. He could have walked away safe and sound and kept his world view and his deeply unhealthy coping mechanisms entirely intact.

But that’s not what happens. Damianos the Crown and Damen the man can no longer hide from each other by the time reality comes calling at Ravenel.

Because he does fall for Laurent and he recognises that it is directly in conflict with his mission, with his duty and his crown. Damen’s narrative journey to regain his own power is tied explicitly and irrevocably to his identity struggle and his love story. His love for Laurent is the trigger that bursts the dam in his head and he sees himself, finally, as a man split in half. Is forced to confront the dissonance within himself as Laurent’s lover and as his own man.

In the end of the legend Damocles decided he would never want to trade places with the King, realising that power was, in fact, a burden, and he would rather enjoy his life.

But Damen is the King. Unlike Damocles he already has power. His struggle then, is not only about recognising the burden that comes with power, but reconciling his world view to include the sword he had been fortunate enough to never really notice.

It becomes a struggle between the opposing wants within Damen: duty and power vs love and desire and how to reconcile them.

In other words: A kingdom, or this?

Damen, like Damocles, learns his lesson. Hard and fast but it takes a while for him to frame that in his reality. More importantly, to frame Laurent in that reality.

Because Laurent is not blind to that sword. He has been painfully aware of that sword for a long time. His though, his less of a burden and more of a threat, he lets the sword hang or he dies. There is no alternative for Laurent.

Laurent’s struggle, similar and yet so contrasting to Damen, is that he has ignored the feast entirely. He indulged once, saw the sword and concentrated on nothing else from then on. Laurent’s reconciliation between duty and desire is not the same as Damen’s, in fact it is much more blatant. He doesn’t let himself feel desire but for life (power) to mean anything he has to let it in eventually or else it’s empty. Nothing but the constant anxious vigilance of waiting for danger and despair.

It's no life.

A kingdom or this then, duty vs love, becomes a motif for Damen reconciling the parts of himself that are newly discovered to him with the man his father, Nikandros, Akielos, wants or needs him to be. To Damen, duty and his fight for the crown is Damianos the prince. It’s his birth right, it’s who he is, who he was raised to be and Akielos is his home. His everything. Except Damen, the man, knows that it’s empty, that being perfect meant nothing in the end and as a man, he wants love. Would throw everything else away for it.

Reconciling those two opposing but equally as devastatingly consuming wants becomes the focal point of King’s Rising.

The merging, of course, narratively, comes at Ravenel. When Damen watches Nikandros and his men go to their knees for Damianos. The internal merging however, the reconciliation, comes at Karthas. With Laurent, when he uses, for the first time, both of Damen’s names in bed. That is the moment we see Damen stitch himself together, realign himself, a camera coming into focus. Damianos the King, the representation of duty, meeting Damen the man and the representation of desire. Quite literally, coming together.

We know this is the moment for Laurent too, for vastly different reasons, but Laurent makes his choices here too. He already knows what he’s going to do here, and so does Damen. The choice has been made, the stage is set, the final ball is in motion.

The readers are, of course, rooting for both. For Damen to win his crown and keep Laurent. We know there will be a choice now and when it does finally come to that choice Damen and Laurent are on the same page and make the same choices. Winning their crowns was a happy accident. Because they both choose this.

Laurent gave himself up for Damen without hesitation. He chose love. Damen throws himself on the mercy of the court knowing he was likely going to die just so that Laurent would not be alone. Those are not the choices of Kings. It’s not duty. Those are the choices made with love and with little regard for anything but that love.

Laurent, we know, knows that Damen can beat the Regent. The Regent has not won against him yet. It’s somewhat tactical but it’s hypothetical, a conciliation or justification of the sacrifice he’s making. Getting the Regent out of Akielos, giving himself up, makes Damen safer, because Laurent knows that Damen retaking the throne in Akielos is a matter of time, they won’t stand against him for long, he knows this. The Regent muddies the waters. But Damen is, canonically, the only person who has baffled and beat the Regent from day one. Laurent is that confident in Damen. But, as I said, those are his justifications. Not his reasons.

Damen doesn’t even try to justify it; he goes so that Laurent is not alone. That’s his choice. Winning their crowns was an afterthought.

Damen doesn’t do it blindingly, he is painfully aware of the sword hanging over him, the consequences of those choices, but it is the moment where Damen decides that the feast in front of him is still worth it. If the sword falls it falls. It doesn’t matter what he does, if it’s going to fall it will fall regardless but if he doesn’t take what’s in front of him then the rest will mean absolutely fucking nothing. It is, for them both, a very conscious decision.

It does, of course, end with the bells. A two-fold symbol we all have been conditioned to accept as an ending: a Disney inspired Pavlovian response. It’s the hero’s arc complete, it’s the journey’s end, the signal of both a victory, and in every fairy-tale ever: a wedding.

Or: a kingdom and this, the real merging.

So there we go, hope you like it dear. You're lucky it was this and not word vomit about the sword throw scene because it very nearly was my dude.

[christinarowie332]

i win.

part 2 of : “i’d be an idiot if i said no to that”

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings : vv suggestive ! drugs , swearing .

—-

matt and y/n spend some quality time with his brothers . who would break first ?

(this is kinda slow so hear me out)

green text : imessage

————-

my phone lights up vibrating from underneath my pillow . i peel my eyes away from “the vampire diaries” playing from my tv and notice the time displayed on my phone. 12:36am . jesus christ .

my eyes scan my notifications as my face id opens my phone . instagram, my group chat “whores.” (56). oops . snapchat , pinterest… oh ?

matt🤭: u up ?

(AHSHHSHDWHHENEHHEHSH)

my body shoots up from where i was lay . i frantically tuck my hair behind my ears with my free hand not holding my phone . i open the message , thumbs hovering over the keyboard ready to type before i hesitate. realising i have no idea what to say .

me: yeah i’m up ! what’s up ?

i type . then delete it .

me: hiyaaaa , yeah i’m up wanna do something??? x

nope

me: yeah i’m up . whyyy wanna hang??

good enough idc

i press send with shaking fingers , allmost immediately he replies back .

matt 🤭: you know me so well , i’ll come pick u up .

me: no bother , i’ll come over . send me ur loc

matt 🤭: i’m at mine with chris and nick , we can all hang if u want?

*matt 🤭 shared his location with you*

me: oki! shall i bring anything??

matt 🤭: just yourself and whatever u need in the morning

me: i’m staying ??😏😏😏😏

matt 🤭: 😏😏😏😏

me: OMW!!!!!

matt 🤭: LMAO OK

i smile at the message and take a screenshot immediately sending it to my groupchat giggling , throwing to the middle of my bed and getting up .

after a few touch ups to my makeup i’ve left to marinate on my face a little bit too long .i change outfit into a pair of baggy light blue jeans , that fall on my hips , uggs and a tight fitted white baby tee . i throw on a hoodie that matches my uggs before realizing it’s literally boiling and ripping it off .i grab my phone and my bag , filling it with the essentials and start to exit my house .

in what feels like 30 seconds i’m pulling into what should be matt’s house . i turn my car off and look at my self in the mirror , obsessing over every little detail until deciding i look good enough .

me: i’m here !!

me: hello ??

me: matt are u home ??

after five minutes of waiting outside the door i decide to just knock it . my heart literally racing enough to hear it in my ears . after a few seconds of waiting i hear the door unlock and the handle go down .

his face drops at the sight of me and turns his head away but not taking his eyes off me , his blonde hair falling against his eyes before he swipes it away .

“MATT ??CHRIS???”

he smiles kindly and i return it . awkward .

after a few excruciatingly painful seconds i see a familiar face poke around the corner, his long and messy hair tucked into a backwards hat . it takes him a second to realize it’s me and his face lights up as he walks towards the door .

“y/n ? yo what are u doing here ? nick bro what are u doing??” he furrows his eyebrows at his brother before opening his arms towards me .

“nice to see you too chris” i roll my eyes and meet his hug .

“OH SHIT MB YOUR y/n ?!?! COME IN FUCK SORRY!!” nick rambles out grabbing me around my back and pulling me in the house .

i take the sight on his house in , the shoes shoved thrown into the corner near the stairs. it smells like autumn, a warm candle burning somewhere. i can hear music coming from what must be the room above . smiling at the familiar beat of mac miller .

“where’s matt? SORRY !!nice to meet you nick!!” i say while smiling , and turning to nick realising i haven’t even greeted the first brother

he laughs and goes to speak before we all turn around and the sight of matt speeding around the corner and skidding to a stop .

“SORRY IVE ONLY JUST SAW YOUR TEXTS” he defends himself before i can even mention it . i smile kindly and relax my shoulders at the sight of him . his hair has been cut , brunette falling onto his forehead in loose curls. the phone he had in his hand tucked in his oversized sweats .lifting his top slightly to find the pocket , showing the band of his boxers for a split second .

“you’re fine , don’t worry” i say , before letting out a breath i didn’t even know i was holding .

matt keeps the eye contact smiling slightly before turning his head towards his brothers and looking at them . “do y’all wanna smoke up?”

“allways” chris replies for both of them before leading us all to their small balcony .

——-

it’s 2 am now , we all shared a joint around their table . chris let matt play his playlist (for once apparently) and we’re now all sat talking .

i’m sat on a bench with matt shoulder to shoulder , a blanket covering us both as the temperature dropped and we were all shivering by the time the joint was smoked .

“i don’t get it nick !! women are just confusing man…..” chris whines out , he has been talking about his girlfriend mia all night and and to be honest i stopped listening ten minutes ago . “no offense y/n/n” he says now looking at me .

i peel my eyes away from matt’s hand on my knee and meet his eyes “all good man i get it…” i don’t get it . i was completely zoned into matt’s hands , and how close he was to me that i wasn’t listening to a word chris was saying .

matt notices and puts his hands under the blanket , pulling it up to his shoulders .

“u wanna go inside matt???” i ask in concern , thinking he was cold .

“no i just got a chill , i’m fine” he says looking at me now with a tight lipped smile .

i mirror his smile and look away at chris who was waiting for us to shut up so he could carry on his rambling. he starts speaking and i keep eye contact with him , now fully listening to his words.

“as i was saying …. i just don’t get it ? taylor swift is mid as fuck , i tell mia that and she literally looks at me like i just murdered a litter of puppies , SHE HATES MY MUSIC TASTE??? i literally tried-“

and just like that i am now no longer listening to chris , as i feel matt’s hand on my knee again underneath the blanket . he strokes it slightly with his thumb and runs it up my thigh , covering it with goosebumps following his touch .

my breath hitches as he takes his hand higher , to rest on my upper thigh. leaving it there and warming it with his touch.

i glance up at him in warning but all i see is him looking straight forward at chris , smirking. little shit .

he must see my face flush in the corner of his eye because he moves his hand ever so slightly higher , his index and middle finger hovering over the seam of my jeans .

my hips move forward slightly and the touch and i gulp loudly , nodding my head at nick who’s now started speaking to me .

“what music do you listen to y/n . if u say some goofy shit like the imagine dragons i may have to throw you off this balcony” he asks me while laughing at himself .

matt apparently thinks it would be absolutely hilarious to start teasing me underneath the blanket , moving his fingers up and down the seam .

“i-um” i clear my throat trying to stay collected “i like all music really …. mac miller …” matt stops moving .

i turn my head towards him to see him smiling at me and nodding for me to carry on .

“ugh let me think” i drag my words as i move my hand on his inner thigh now i feel him flinch at the touch and go to move his hand off my thigh to stop me but i flash my head towards him and raise my eyebrow in warning .

my turn .

i mirror his actions before and take my hand higher . “i like anything really ….. mac ..torylanez…” i move my hand . he shifts .

“skies ….travis….hotel ugly….” i move my hand again over his sweats . he shifts and let’s put a huff of air .

“brent faiyaz…..dominic fike”

i move my hand again and he lets out a soft allmost silent noise . a whimper , only i hear it and i smirk .

“i like anything” i look at matt now , giving him an innocent look and shrugging my shoulders.

i remove my hand as i could feel him slowly becoming harder . and place my hand on his lower thigh , griping hard . saying exactly what i needed to.

“that’s fire as fuck…what’s ur fave skies song?” i hear chris say and i turn my head towards him .

i smirk knowing i won before continuing my conversation with chris , feeling matt sink into his seat more and putting his arm around me . manspreading and putting his palm over his crotch.

i win .

——————-

i am a vile and wretched woman .

LOVE YA !!!!

@mangosrar @sturnphilia @littlebookworm803 @lividnity @def-livv @daddyslilchickenfingers @sssturniolofart @soursturniolo @deatthmatch @biimpanicking @bluesturniolo333 @urmyslxt

^^^^

i love u all 🤍🤍🤍

[pix-writes]

Congrats on 1000 likes!! Wondering if I could request ford with an environmental scientist!reader? Like where ford enjoys theoretical physics and maths, the reader is more focused on geology and biology? No worries if not!!

Dearest anon, you don't have to worry because this is right up my alley!!! I studied earth sciences so let's gooooooo! 😁🥳

Stanford Pines x environmental scientist!reader

Rating: SFW

A/N: Was terrible at physics but I love earth sciences so this is practically a self insert? lmao! Ford finds someone who likes to infodump as much as him about their academic interests! ^^' so sorry that the reader rambles so much. The wilderness must be explored! Hope you enjoy!

"You mean to tell me that you think you've discovered species hitherto unstudied and you didn't call me until now? Are we even friends?!"

That had been your reply on the phone. Ford chuckled, relieved that you had been available and eager to accept. He was perhaps inundated with work and whilst he didn't want to admit where he was limited in his expertise, he knew he could afford to extend his studies and offer someone else an opportunity. He was glad it was you.

You had Fiddleford to thank for your introduction, you had been in a group campaigning for environmental rights on campus, the hubub was something Ford would've generally ignored, but Fiddleford had seen some familiar faces amongst the crowd and he couldn't deny that he was curious about the cause.

He'd found out why you had seemed familiar, as you recognised them from the shared lectures you had.

"Ugh! They made us take a course in statistics, but honeslty, I'm hopeless at it! It's right at the end of the day, too, so I'm trying hard not to fall asleep, you know?"

"Um, well, I actually don't find it that bad."

"But we both agree the professor drones on something awful, right Ford?" Fiddleford gave him an encouraging nudge with his elbow.

"My god, he does!"

"S-so, um, maybe if you sat next to us, I- we could help you? We both take mathematics."

He had been nervous at first, afraid that you would reject him for his six fingered hands. Rumours had been spread across the BMU about him and so far only his roommate had been the most accepting.

But like him you hadn't noticed at first, once you did you had only picked up his hand and said -

"Woah, far out!"

When he had slipped his hand away you had actually apologised.

"Don't give a damn what the rest of them think, Ford. Anyway, I think they're cool!"

And thus your friendship had been forged. Your shared courses were brief together, but you both had a love of DD&MD and kept a campaign running through college.

His excitement for someone coming to relieve the isolation of his life in gravity falls was curtailed, slightly, once you had started pouring over his work. He had temporarily forgotten that you were nearly as scrupulous as himself.

"I can't believe that you were recording these like this! What if your work was to get lost or destroyed, hm? There is so much to do here!"

Eagerness had devolved into critique it seemed, and Ford felt like he was losing the war.

"There's nothing even here about habitats or behavioural patterns for this entry... overall, this is inconsistent, Dr Pines."

He huffed, putting his hands in his pockets. "So are you going to accept the task or just pull it apart for the rest of the week?"

You tried to suppress a grin and failed. "When can I start?!"

Ford shook his head. "Just the same as when we were in college. You take too much delight in messing with me!"

Your laugh rang out over the lab. "Gotta keep you on your toes, Stanford! Like you, I have high standards."

"You can start whenever you're ready, of course."

"Good, because I want you to show me your latest find you talked about."

"Well, I'm glad you called me, seems like there's a lot of work to do here and it's not good to lone work so remotely, Ford, you know I wish you contacted me sooner had I known you were-" You gasped as you looked down into the river and Ford spotted one of the plaidypuses he had discovered last week.

"Oh this is fascinating, Ford! I wonder how they've developed such a pattern, perhaps in the falls they are not predated on? Yeah, maybe that's it."

This sparked a conversational debate, Ford elaborating on what he had said over the phone, how he had discovered them, what else lies in the forest surrounding.

"And just look at this waterfall, a perfect example of differential erosion! Did you know that this kind of basaltic rock in Orgeon was actually formed around..."

Ford looked over to you, you had gotten up close to the edge of the waterfall, as close as you could on dry land, pointing out formations. He tried his best to add in hums of response at the right places, however, his mind had drifted as he saw how your face was highlighted by the light filtering down through the trees. The way the light breeze blew at your clothes, the sparkle in your eyes that lit up your expression as you talked about your subject.

His heart swelled with affection, he had been so lonely before, and he was kicking himself on how he hadn't thought of this sooner; it was so... energising to have someone around with a similar level of passion for their studies as he has.

"Ford, the camera! Quick!" Snapped out of his reverie he realised you had been trying to get his attention, directing him to the shore where a group of plaidypuses had arrived.

"Right!" He took a few photos, managing to get the measuring rod that you placed carefully in the foreground without startling the creatures.

A few tranquil minutes passed as you watched the group glide effortlessly in the water away from you, leaning back on the grass with your hands, legs dangling off of the ledge.

"What were you thinking about? You've got that far away look in your eye."

"Oh, er, nothing! Just an equation." Ford could feel a blush forming.

"Didn't think that'd be something you'd have trouble with."

"Really (name), just because I have a PhD in the subject doesn't mean I don't have to work at solving anything."

"Yeah, yeah, tell that to the girl still trying to get approval for her original proposal." Voice laced with sarcasm. "What're you on now, you're 8th PhD or whatever?"

"10th, actually."

"Jeez, man! Do you ever rest?" You laugh and Ford can't help but join in. "Don't worry, you can get back to your equations and scanners or... whatever else you do with physics! The river isn't far, I'll be studying their ecology for now, then we can decide on the rest."

"Sounds like a plan!"

[zooterscooter]

the people have spoken :) 7am ramble under cut tee hee

thoughts came to me while making this piece !! made coherent by a day of writing and rewriting my ideas

not entirely sure how to start this and i really hope it’s cohesive LMAO i’m really sorry if this is borderline unreadable i can’t tell

but anyway. i’ve been seeing a lot of art and thoughts about click clack and what he has under his literal and metaphorical mask and i want to throw my hat in the ring as well

firstly i think it’s a pretty clear take on masking who you are, right. as an editor you’re always cutting things out and making things better and more consumable for others to enjoy. but it makes me wonder where the story editing ends and where the self editing starts and continues ? in canon, he’s cutting out the romance from “oh partner mine!” because he can’t stand to face his own feelings for thespius, but that makes me question how much more “editing” he does on himself and his life ? even beyond his love life, his relationship with thespius ?

i think that he’s scared, obviously. along with being scared of love, i think there’s a real high possibility that he’s scared of the responsibility of being a god, even years after being one. see- he might think he has to be perfect for his followers and always have this perfect persona for them to follow, putting himself on a pedestal. being the best at what he does, making himself out to be something great- always talking about how amazing and handsome he is- but beneath that i think there’s a bunch of insecurity. it’s like.. man cmon there’s no way you’re actually like this..

i think he might choose to not deal with it- “i have issues but i also have people to watch over so idrgaf about that rn” style. even before the whole canon thing with the letters happened i think there was a high possibility that he still carried a lot of his insecurities and kept emotions from being mortal, not finding any time (or maybe any reason) to pick apart these things and grow from it.

he might think that he, as a god, cannot POSSIBLY be struggling with anything. gods aren’t supposed to feel things like that. gods don’t have to deal with things like identity issues and human emotions. something must me wrong with him and he can’t tell anyone or else they’ll think he’s unfit to be in his position. maybe thinking that if he shows even the slightest hint of not being what he pretends to be, he’ll be outed and shunned, or the . ggg equivalent of that. yknow.

but yknow going back to the original point- how much more can he do this, put on a front, repress everything that doesn’t fit this image of himself he’s created for others (that he’s now starting to believe he has to be), change who he is- how long can he continue on with this all before it gets to be too much to handle ? too much to keep track of ? what would his breaking point have been, if it weren’t for the canon events ?

who is he really, and does he even know himself ? sure, he can control what others see with both the literal and metaphorical mask, but what’s he like with all that taken away ? there’s of course a little bit of either in the other, but i feel like the lines blur so much that it’s hard for him to pick apart what is what.

i do think after the events in game, he would probably work through his. problems. with the help of thespius, the other gods etc etc. he was vulnerable enough to finally accept his feelings for thespius, so i think he might eventually get comfortable enough with it all to go through the more sinister things, especially after the whole “communication with loved ones is good and healthy actually” message of the game. recovery is sweeter with the company of those who care,,

another, less heavy idea i had about the mask was that maybe he wears it as a way to hide himself away from the spotlight partially. being an editor always meant being behind the scenes, right. so maybe he uses it as a way to have some familiarity, some anonymity. or perhaps- as a friend offered while reading this over- as a thing to hide behind looks wise. maybe be was just self conscious of his god form but then the mask is what made his brand or something and he just kept it on for those reasons.

however i had that thought a month ago and now have some other ideas. maybe that started OUT as his plan, just to use it as a way to keep his public and private life separate, or as a crutch for his self consciousness- but then he realized that with the mask he could be whatever he wanted to be, whenever he wanted. and then it went downhill from there, turning into a long and emotional wreck that would haunt him for years and years and years and years-

as a closing note !! i also think this could be taken as a transgender thing, as well as an autism thing, perhaps even both, and quite possibly all three. idk stay tuned if people like this insight i might work with it more.

but yeah anyways !! i had a lot of fun thinking about this and its has been sitting in my head for a week or so… i finally got around to making that art, which kickstarted people’s interest in this, which was nice. i’ll definitely be making more art for this all and PLEASE let me know your insight on this if you have any,,, im all ears

also obligatory “this is just what i think it’s most definitely not anywhere near canon pls be nice 💔” bc im an anxious man about to go to bed

[shepscapades]

*rotates dbhc!Xisuma and Doc in my head*

I'm sorry but I absolutely lose my mind over them ( I have literally no one who I could ramble about this to and I need to get it out). I want to analyse stuff, so let me just:

*breathes in*

It's visible that they are good friends and have been since the time when Doc deviated, research partners doing... research? Or whatever researchers do *shrugs*.

But there's one thing to it, X created Doc and most of other androids. He understands what is deviation because Doc explained it to him but his friend is still an android after all. We also know that X always calls Doc "Docm" but in previous comic he calls him "Doc" and it is stated that it's the first time he ever called him that. In which moment he calls him that? In the moment when he realises that Doc is more human than android now, I may be delusional about this all but I just feel like: the moment when he sees Etho overpower Doc, shove him and break him and stuff, Xisuma sees that Doc isn't a fearless machine but a someone, a human, he got overpowered by Etho and suffered consequences, he felt fear like a human not a machine. Also he lost his arm because he was trying to stop Etho from hurting X as we see in the second part of the comic, which only adds to that. So, this is the moment where X fully realises that he means something to Doc, not as a creator, but as a friend, and that's why for the rest of the comic he constantly makes sure if his partner is alright by talking to him, glancing at him. You know stuff. He grew closer and closer to Doc as time passed and I think this was the climax - the moment he called Docm77 "Doc".

While Doc is doing the most stoic stuff ever and trying not to self destruct and stuff, he cares about X too, very much even, he's protective towards him and shows it by jumping into danger he could have avoided [ Etho attacked X because he's an admin and probably knows where's Grian - Etho wants to hunt down this pesky bird for killing Bdubs] just so his partner won't get hurt how sweet <3 RIP arm you will be remembered...

Anyways I feel like they should talk about stuff and maybe cuddle and maybe I don't know LIVE?? NOT DIE??

Yeah, I think that I don't even need to explain for how long they've been spinning in my head.

Also wanted to thank you so much for so many kind words on my fanart !! I'm glad I can make someone happy with my cheap, old drawing tablet and some self taught skills lol sorry for flooding your ask-box again so so sorry but those comics make me go AWOOGA holy shift, and also DOC AND X CONTENT !! They are so underrated that you almost can't find anything good relating to them as a duo! [personally I think they're great, just two dudes that do things together and care for eachother <3]

So, yep. Prepare yourself for things like that after every new part comes out I WILL make memes and I WILL analyse block men.... sorry not sorry :)

[how to get me into an AU- tutorial: Xisumavoid must be in it- the end]

WE ARE ROTATING THEM. WE ARE WATCHING THEM ROTATE!!!!! you freaking GET me

(THERE ARE SOME INTERESTING THOUGHTS HAPPENING HERE!!!! None of which I’ll confirm but Eye Emoji :3 I love love love these theories they make me so happy ehehehehehe)

(ALSO YOU’RE SO WELCOME!!! That art made my day fr LMAO I love and appreciate it so much!!! <3)

[cholecalcferol]

gabriel post christmas card story [6p]

so i don’t know what went down in raphael’s christmas story and im never gonna finish michael’s bc i don’t have his artifact. alas, i can only imagine how they would react to gabriel’s souvenir from hell.

doodles/comic & rambling under the cut!

hello i need to get these thoughts out lest i turn hysterical from bottling it all up.

i’ll be honest i have bare minimum info on raphael, all i know is that he owns a punishment room and he doesn’t seem to hate the mc (why in the world would kidnapping the mc into heaven be a good idea ever).

based on what i know, i think raphael is more knowledgeable, or at least open to talk about, these tools than michael & gabriel. i have no idea if he plays with himself in his free time or if he’s as celibate as michael or gabriel but he seems like. he’s the former LMFAO i’m sorry this seems so ooc when his profile info is basically him killing everything on sight 😭

anyway my thoughts on michael based on what i was able to read in his christmas story: he’s so fucking hot. i mean he probably knows what goes down with toys and such, he just actively chooses to not talk about it. one glance and it’s “if i see that again it’s the time out corner for you”

I WANNA MENTION THAT while drawing this i had the sudden realisation that gabriel, intentionally or not, fled the pub once 12 am hit, even when he was close to finishing. this info is insane to me bc this was his first time ever being naked naked??? so like he has never once looked down and got curious about his chastity belt (nice design btw) while he was in heaven? whattaheck

what about angel blood aphrodisiacs or moons when they get horny? lmao

maybe he thinks being played like that is not fun bc he never got to finish, maybe he didn’t like the thought of being exposed to anyone except god, or maybe it’s a different reason entirely, but he still LEFT once the christmas miracle shindig wore off and that’s insane to me. he must hate the mc that much

no matter. i still ship mc/gabriel bc the hate-slash-sexual tension idea that gabriel will do whatever it takes to clear the mc’s porn addiction corruption (whether he kills them, beats it out of them, or gets fucked trying) is what keeps me going HAJSJSJ

thoughts/counter arguments/etc on this are encouraged! i’d love to hear what everyone’s opinions are of the card stories or the seraphs in general.

[pinkhallaclub]

Tips on Relaxation (3,136 Words)

Pairing: Bellara/Rook Tags/Warnings: Developing Relationships, Face Sitting, First Time Blowjobs, 69 lol, PWP A/N: had to write about my rook and his wife lmao ;-; she's also so tired pls rest ;-; also, bellara has a line about only being with irelin so tried to establish their boundaries a little bit

Relaxing.

It is a simple action. It should be a simple action, but Bellara fidgets as she kneels on her green bench, trying to clear her mind. Emmrich gave her some breathing exercises, and she should try them out. See if they will make her feel better. She closes her eyes, gently rests her hands in her lap, and inhales. No more Archive, no more of her Gods trying to destroy the world. She exhales, proud of herself.

Though she has just started, she's confident she can do this. She can relax. Maybe even take a nap! The possibilities are endless until she opens her eyes and sees the Archive out of the corner of her eye. She could tinker with it more since she has a clearer head. She could learn more about her people, just like Cyrian would have wanted. It would be a good thing! Her people would gain so much from this knowledge!

She gets up, heading to the artifact when the door opens. Oh no!

She returns to the bench quickly, pretending to relax, when she sees it's Rook. She would not be able to hide her anxiety in front of him.

He smiles warmly, the sharp angles of his face softening. "Good. You're relaxing. Emmrich and Neve sent me to check." Rook says, his deep voice feeling like a warm blanket.

"Relaxing is hard, Rook." Bellara says, her brows knitting together.

"Do you need help?" Rook asks, always there to help, always willing to do the right thing.

"Uh, sure, yeah. Why not! You can probably relax easily, so I'll take tips from a pro!" Bellara starts to ramble, wringing her hands as he sits beside her.

"I wouldn't go that far for my relaxation, but I can think of some things we--I mean--you can try." Rook clears his throat, looking away from his crush. The other mages sent him in here, but he didn't know what he would say to her. "Breathing exercises going okay? Good! Good luck!" That would have been a simple thing to do, but Bellara is not a simple woman. Sometimes, he wants to peer into her head and see how her brain works. He can listen to her talk all day and already has when she and Emmrich get into Fade discussions.

"What do you do to relax?" She asks, her big brown eyes pouring into him.

He wishes she wouldn't look at him that way, the gaze making him hot all over. He feels juvenile. If he lives through this, he will be 34 soon. He shouldn't feel twenty years younger, his heart thumping hard in his chest as he shrugs. "Make sure I'm breathing. During my Crow training, we learned that we must ensure our brain still receives oxygen. When we're in action, going in for the kill, our thoughts, our bodies, they need to be one. So taking a deep breath or two helps center myself."

Bellara leans forward as she listens, nodding along. Her chest is mere inches from his arm, and he makes himself look forward at her room, with the papers all over the walls. "Ah, Emmrich said something similar with breathing. I think it works, but I start getting excited about how it's working, and then I want to use the energy for something, but then I get anxious about things not working, or wasting time, or the Gods, and then I can't relax all over again." Her forehead wrinkles as she explains, and Rook hums and thinks.

He can't tell her the other way he relaxes. He couldn't imagine Bellara with her legs spread, hair down, and fingers working as she thought of something that turned her on. He hopes it will be him in her thoughts, but he smiles instead.

"Did you ask the others? I bet Neve goes for a walk. Davrin probably plays with Assan. Lucanis probably makes a cup of coffee, and Harding and Taash probably train. Do any of those work?" She nibbles her bottom lip, and she shrugs.

"Am I a lost cause, Rook?" She asks, and it breaks his heart.

His voice softens as he turns to face her, taking her hands. "No! Not at all, Bel. You have to find what works for you. Do you want to go for a walk?" He asks, wondering if the temperature has risen or if it's him.

She sighs, "Maybe later. I want to get the breathing parts at least down." Bellara says, a sadness in her eyes.

He shakes his head. "You're doing just fine," He says, squeezing her hands gently. "I can think of something else, but you would have to trust me."

She smiles, moving closer. "Well, of course I trust you, Rook." She says, and he takes a deep breath.

"Sometimes, when I need to relax and have a bunch of pent-up energy, I masturbate."

Her eyes widen, and she looks away. "Oh! Uh! That's!"

"I'm sorry if that was too much. Ah, just something to do." Rook says, letting go of her hands.

She sighs, frowning. "I haven't had the time or the urge to do that."

"Well, uh." He searches for the right words, the conversation making his cock tingle between his thighs. "I can help you if you want?" He offers, hoping he isn't overstepping.

Her brown eyes almost pop out, and she laughs, looking away. "Oh, I... Is that okay?" She asks, raising her eyebrows.

"I'd think it would be fine, but we don't have to, Bel. If it's too much."

She sits back, though she hasn't said anything. "Well, I'm down for anything to know if it'll work," Bellara says after a moment, and Rook's heart skips over itself.

"I would help you out as a friend," He says instead, trying to hide his excitement. If he could bury his face between her thighs, he would.

"Yeah, as a friend! So what do we do?" She asks, and Rook moves closer, touching her cheek. "Alright. Can I kiss you?" He asks, his dark eyes darting to her eyes and her lips.

"Is that part of it?" She asks, leaning into him.

"No, but I want to." Rook replies, his voice barely a whisper. She smiles, nodding. Their lips meet carefully. Rook gently sucks on her bottom lip. Her moan softly falls from her lips, and his cock jumps at the sound. They pull away, and she laughs.

"So what do we do now?" She asks, and Rook takes a moment, staring her over. He thinks she is so beautiful as he leans back in, pecking her quickly.

"Do you want to get naked?" He asks her, though he imagines it a million times already.

"Are you going to get naked too?" She asks, singing the words.

"Do you want me to?" He asks, knowing if she did, he would rip his clothes off.

She nods, her fingers going to her top. "It'd make me feel less self-conscious, I think."

"You've nothing to be worried about, guapa," He whispers, pulling his top from his body and flinging it on the ground.

Bellara pauses, her shirt almost off. "Is everything okay?" He asks.

"Uh huh," Bellara says with a giggle. "You're really handsome, like heroes in the serials," Bellara says, avoiding her gaze.

He smiles, watching as she timidly removes her shirt. "So if we do this, Rook, um, what will we be?" He sits back on the couch, his erection obvious in his pants.

"We can be friends still or something more." He wouldn't mind being her boyfriend; the idea is something he welcomes. Her breasts are perfect, just as he imagined, her brown nipples pointing up the sky with a small slope.

"I don't know," Bellara says, covering her chest.

"Why?" He asks, motioning her to come closer.

"I've been told I talk too much and can go on and on. I've been told that's annoying, and I don't know my limits. Is that okay with you, Rook?" She asks, moving closer. He chuckles, carefully removing her hand over one of her breasts. He kisses the knuckles and nods.

"Yes. More than okay, Bel." He moves her hand out of the way, his warm mouth wrapping around her taut nipple.

Her brows knit together as she squirms. "This... Is not helping me relax, falon!"

His tongue flicks at the nub before he pulls away. "Is it bad?" He asks, concern lining his face. Bellara shakes her head. "No! I..." She makes a face as Rook starts to massage her chest, her legs squeezing together. She moans instead, and he chuckles, "If you want me to stop, tell me." He thinks about stopping anyway when he realizes they didn't lock her door.

Her hands rest over his as she shakes her head. "No. Please. I think I can see the relaxing properties." She says with a small laugh. He leans forward, sucking on her soft neck, his tongue running along the goosebumps, and she whimpers. "Very relaxing," She whispers as he pinches the peaks. "Rook?" She says softly, and he pulls away, raising his eyebrow.

"Yes, Bel?"

"I-I-I'm not that skilled at... You know. I've only been with women."

"That's not a problem. We'll go slow if that's alright."

She nods, her eyes going to his thighs. "And with that... As you know, I've been reading serials, and in one particularly spicy one, the romantic lead let the other ride their thigh when they weren't ready." Rook smiles as he stops his massages, still holding her small breasts in his hands. "We can do that. I was also thinking I could go down on you. That could help you relax."

Her eyes widen, her blush never fading, and she motions to his erection. "What about you?"

"Don't worry about me, guapa." She pouts, and he chuckles, "What do you want to do then?" He asks, leaning back against her bench.

"I've never dealt with a penis before." Bellara states, and Rook's smile softens as he pushes her pants down.

She allows him, standing up to get all the way undressed. He doesn't hesitate as he leans forward, kissing her lower stomach. His hands cup her ass as he holds her closer. There's a tuft of dark hair on her mound, and he presses a kiss there, too. The moan that escapes makes him rock hard. He's in half disbelief. He's already this turned on by her, and they've barely touched. Perhaps he has been celibate for too long. It's the only thing that makes sense. "Bellara..." He whispers, looking up at her. "Sit on my face." He says, resting back on the bench.

"Oh! Is that comfortable? Relaxing?"

"Absolutely. And if it's not, well, there are other things we can try." He reassures, unbuckling his pants. "And if you need something to do, you can play with my cock." His cock springs out, waiting happily for her touch.

"Play with it?" She asks, a little confused as he takes her hand.

"Touch it, stroke it. Hell, you can put it in your mouth. I don't care as long as I get to taste you." Rook replies quickly as he guides her closer to the bench. She blushes hard as she follows his lead, gently kicking her leg over his head, and her hips slowly come down to his face. He groans as her hands rest on his hips, hers sinking against his eager face. He quickly kisses her inner thigh, his stubble brushing against her skin, making a wet trail to her hot core. She whines as his tongue traces along her entrance. His cock twitches as he closes his eyes, his hands wrapping around her hips, bringing her lower.

Her moans gain in volume, her hands balling into fists as he laps at her folds. Her taste is as intoxicating as he thought it would be, warm and earthy. Please touch me, Rook's mind repeats as he pulls away, spreading her lips to find his target. She cries out as he suckles her clit, his tongue prodding at her button. She leans forward, panting as she squirms in his grip, her hand wrapping around his cock. His stomach tenses, and his hips buck.

"It's thicker than I..." Bellara starts, but the rest of the sentence is lost as she moans, Rook's tongue swirling around her clit before he tilts his head back, coating his mouth with her juices. She slowly starts to pump him, her hips rocking back and forth with Rook's head movement.

He pulls away as she quickens her pace, focusing on his tip. "Bel..." He grunts before burying his mouth against her. He would cum all over her hands before he could get her to cum all over his mouth; how embarrassing.

She stops suddenly, her hands moving up to his chest. "Ah!" She cries as he sharpens his tongue, using it to thrust in and out of her hole. "M-more!" She manages to say, her legs trembling. He slips his hand from her thighs, his middle finger taking over as he returns to her clit. The whimpers escaping her lips drive him crazy as she squeezes around his digit. He can only imagine how perfect she'd feel around his cock. Wetness escapes and drenches his finger as he continues to work her. She leans back down again, her body so soft and warm against his. He can barely register how much he loves how she feels when she wraps her mouth around his tip. He groans as she starts to bob her head curiously on his shaft. He would need to fuck her. Hopefully, sooner rather than later. Their muffled moans fill the room as she tries to lick his cock at the same time she sucks, Rook focusing on her swelling clit.

It doesn't take long before Bellara pulls her mouth off him, begging. "Oh, Rook! I'm!" He steels his mind to not cum himself as he goes between suckling and licking her sweet button, his finger working her over as she stiffens, trying to raise her hips away from him. He keeps her locked down as her leg slips from the couch, trying to leverage her sweaty body with her tiptoes on the cool marble ground. However, her attempts to escape are futile as Rook follows her moves, his mouth staying connected to her as best as he can. He wants every drop, for her taste to be his only sustenance for as long as he lives. She comes down, holding on to the bench as she pants. "Rook..." He gets a few more laps in before he lets go of her thigh, allowing her to lift enough for him to slide up.

"Mmm?" He asks, his lips shiny from her.

"You didn't!" She says suddenly, pointing to his rock-hard dick.

"Oh. I can take care of that." He says, waving her worry away. She looks blissed out, like sleep with come soon, but instead, she leans down, taking his cock back in her mouth, tucking her hair behind her ear. He coughs, taken aback by her action. "Just... Like that..." He growls as she bobs her head, her hand finding his balls, hesitating before squeezing them.

"I don't want to... Come in your mouth." He says suddenly as he can feel his stomach twist and knot, his tip suddenly too sensitive as she swipes her tongue around it.

"Huh? Why not?" She asks, removing her mouth, her hands still massaging his tense balls. "Could taste bad." He says quickly, and she shrugs. "I know it'll be salty. The serials said that male ejaculate could be." Bellara says before returning her mouth.

Rook grunts, holding on to her bun, wishing he could undo it and grip her hair as he wanted. "Bel... I want to fuck you so bad. I wanna make you come around my--" He moans, his hand sliding down her back, returning two fingers between her thighs, and pumping her. She moans, moving up to her knees to give him better access. He closes his eyes tighter as he arches his back, thrusting his hips against her mouth, his other hand going to her head and keeping her down as his first pumps entered her mouth. She pulls away, and he lets her go, stroking himself through it. She stays low still, watching as his tip erupts with more whitish liquid, covering his hand and dripping down to her own that stays on his tensing testicles.

"Ah..." She laughs as she sits up, looking at her wet hand. "You're right about the taste. It's different than in the serials. I don't hate it, though, but I..." She licks her hand as Rook tries to catch his breath, bringing his other hand that was in her to his lips.

"My Bellara..." He says after a moment, and she pauses before giggling.

"Yeah. Your Bellara." She says with a nod, yawning.

"Did it work?" He asks after a moment, his cock now soft. He should have brought rags with him so he could clean them off.

"What work?" She asks, her lids heavy.

"Are you relaxed?"

Bellara smiles softly, "You know. I am calm. I feel so..." She laughs lightly, and Rook gets up as she rests back on the bench.

"Do you have rags or cloth? I want to clean you up," Rook explains, and Bellara points to the other desk. "Mmm. Maybe there? I don't know." She closes her eyes, and he finds the cloth, wiping his hand and his cock and around his tip. He'd take a bath once he got back to his quarters.

He grabs another one, turning to Bellara, but pauses. Her eyes are already closed, her mouth open as she sleeps. He smiles, gently taking her hand and wiping his emission from her fingers. Mission successful, He thinks to himself as he finds a blanket covering her. He quickly redresses himself, hoping they'll go further the next time they do this. The thought of her around his cock gives him body tingles, but he can settle for this. There was nothing like the way she rode his face.

He quietly leaves, hurrying up the steps when Neve stops him. "Rook, is Bellara okay? Emmrich told me that she hadn't been sleeping, and I was going to check on her.

Rook's eyes widen, and he nods quickly. "Um, yeah. She's sleeping now. We did some breathing exercises and stuff."

Neve's look makes him feel like he's been caught red-handed, her watchful eyes picking up on his ruffled short hair and clothes. He probably smells like sex, too. She chuckles, giving him a firm nod. "Good. She needs sleep. Thank you for helping her, Rook." He smiles back and rushes away. Their secret would be out soon enough.

[atrophiedemotion]

hey Cast! uh so this ask is about. alien stage. but imma send you another about some random shit because why not. anyways

the tags that you had on that previous post with me and plip (the one about ivan and till and how they show honesty differently and how we know about their characters a different amount because of how forthcoming or not they are) and my question for you is, how many of Ivan's actions do you think are representative of his true emotions? I don't think his body language, in general, is very forthcoming but I do agree that his actions can be pretty revealing (he strikes me as an acts of service person especially with trying to escape with Till) but uh yeah I'm wondering if there are any specific examples that you think of as being revealing of his actual thoughts or specific examples of him pretending to be someone else?

thanks for listening to me yap uh I hope you're doing well and that you have an awesome day!

rock... oh boy... this is gonna be a long one. wonderful question. thank you for the ask, i hope you have a great day as well!!

so, i didn't fully explain in the tags because i didn't want to write a full length essay on plip's post (ty plip for dealing w the rambling)(i was also very tired so i wasn't fully articulate lmao) but i meant that ivan shows his emotions through the outcomes/projected outcomes of his actions. he certainly isn't very forthcoming in the way he acts and portrays himself, but there is undeniable truth in the intent and meaning behind everything he does, even things that seem counterproductive.

i think that since ivan genuinely cannot fully be upfront and honest (due to trauma, his lack of self worth, and his decided survival strategy) his main truths show in the deeper meaning of the things he does for other people and himself. with ivan, it is all about intent. i've said before that the only way to understand ivan is to dig deeper and this is very much true here. he uses a lot of subterfuge to throw people off from his actual intentions, but they're there.

ivan often uses unconventional, roundabout ways to achieve his goals/get what he wants- especially when they mean something to him. he is a guy who is caked in layers upon layers of meaning only if you pull back the acres of curtains he's covered them with. he doesn't want people to know what goes on in his head, so he covers it up valiantly. this is due to his low self esteem of course, but also full on survival. in order for his plans to work, no one can be in on it. no one can know what he's thinking. all of his true feelings and thoughts need to be hidden in order to achieve success, but in the end it's fucking hard to not leave a trace of your true feelings.

with all that being said, examples!

the biggest and most obvious examples are mainly related to till (of course they are) and i also feel like they're the most telling. ivan's teachers specifically pointed out that he was only childish around till (they were relieved by it, too, because he was so damn serious the rest of the time and didn't behave like a child should). ivan has the hardest time hiding his true emotions around till, which makes sense, because till makes him feel the most emotion when his are always dulled. that doesn't stop him from going the 'i must hide my crush by pulling his pigtails' route but, y'know.

since most of these are talked about frequently and i dont want to keep beating a dead horse in an already long post, here's a (hopefully) brief list:

-the biggest one, the meteor shower. going through all of that to escape with till, specifically during a meteor shower that it seemed ivan was desperate to show till (to introduce his shooting stars to each other or smth im sure). ivan offered till freedom and denied himself of it when till turned around and he followed him back without question.

-his good behavior can arguably be considered to be due, in part, to the perks an obedient pet gets. this isn't just a till thing but ivan's obedience is very telling of his need and drive for survival, which considering his uhh,, track record is likely largely so he can protect till. gaining perks and learning insider information, like how to take collars off and gain access to isolation cells, assist him in assisting and caring for till.

-the sometimes silent companionship they share. the way ivan will poke at him to get his outright attention but is still at times satisfied with just existing in till's space and enjoying his presence says a lot about his genuine adoration and admiration of till

-his sacrifice. i don't think i need to say much about this as it's pretty self explanatory lmao but it is a Great example of what im trying to convey. ivan does honest things and has to cover them up at the same time. the 'violence' was to end the round of course, but it was also kind of like a familiar bandaid over the painfully honest feelings he conveyed with the kiss. even if he didn't really hurt him he couldn't just be honest

there are definitely more (most everything he does in regards to till tbh) but i wanted to talk about some others too

the comic conversation with sua about her sacrifice! such a big one. ivan's feelings about sua are very complicated, but to me i feel like he cares about her to an extent, almost pitying in a way. he's horribly jealous of her and the love she has, but he sees so much of himself in her that what he says in that conversation is probably at least half projection, even if he's not aware of it.

the way he looks at her without trying to hide his distaste feels like the way he would look down on himself. the whole thing shows not only his disgust with himself, but his anger towards someone who is so similar to him that she makes the same plans in her head even though she has something he believes he'll never have. it's envy, tried and true, and he doesn't even hide it at the time. he hides the self loathing behind it, but still. that might be the most honest we've seen ivan aside from the end of r6.

that conversation also does kind of show the fact that he cares for sua and mizi. sua in a way he acknowledges less to himself, but certainly mizi.

and speaking of mizi, my last example for right now is the way he watched round 5 like he was barely holding it together and sort of did his own recreation of it in round 6. the strangling was reminiscent of the way mizi lunged at luka and he almost certainly got the idea for his method of sacrifice from what she did. it kind of feels like an ode to her, in a way. an ode to mizi while offering himself up for till, which. is very sad but almost a little sweet, that he had a piece of mizi in what he was doing for till.

okay okay im sure i could keep talking about this but ive been writing for. a long time LMAO so i will stop here but! yeah. ivan shows his emotions inadvertently through his actions and about fifty levels of subterfuge. but it's all we get, so...

thank you for the ask again my dude, i really enjoyed answering it!

[fumifooms]

Marchil crumbs part 5

Part 1 - Part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 6 - part 7 - part 8

The anime has come and since I have my shipping goggles on I am going to notice so much. This part will be less spoilery for anime onlys (tho if you want to see me talk about why I ship them and why they’re complementary this is not a good part to start with haha). Edit: After completing this part I can confirm it’s fully anime-onlys friendly and spoiler-free! For manga veterans though there are still some fun tidbits to be found, some recontextualisations and new extra content.

Holy shit guys they’re mirroring each other in the mural and reaching out to each other AND looking towards each other?!!!! Their pose is so striking and like perfectly align?! Which means it was so intentional and the staff wanted to highlight them (for an aesthetic and/or narrative purpose I’m sure but it happened)! I will never let this go we won so fucking hard let’s goooooo we are so back

Character foils!! Dynamic duo!!

Soulmates!!

In the opening at 1:16 he looks at her to see if she’s really going to it as the most critical of monster food & muster up courage to dig into it himself lmao… "Marcille doesn’t look too grossed out, she’s picky so this food must be fine then" Aka treating her as a poison taster/good cuisine judge lmao

Doodle from the animation director (source). I should translate it but I’m procrastinating on it so uh director’s brotp? Anyways they hanging out look at them :]

Laios is thinking to himself there (he’s the one saying the subs), and in the meantime Marcille and Chilchuck talk, likely figuring out the money situation. Strategizing duo back at it again not wasting a second

In the beginning of ep 1, when Marcille is rambling about where they could go to get food and what to grab, Chilchuck listens with a big smile & even closes his eyes as they walk. The implication is that he’s thinking about food, but man the scene hits different now that it’s voiced and I remember that indeed Chilchuck is closing his eyes to her voice and enjoying hearing her talk and ramble. I may be too far gone into the marchil pit

I feel like already they’ve come far from when Chilchuck dreaded being alone with Shuro and Marcille, waiting for the Toudens and Namari to arrive.

Ok this might actually be smth I’m gonna complain about but I feel like blushes have been drawn too vividly so far. Why does Chilchuck look like he’s confessing when he tells her she’s not a burden and he didn’t mean to make her feel that way. It almost comes across as "Woah she cares what I think?" 💀 The banter ensuing is of course also great

Ep 2 was an episode centered on them both that had the "Magic/Traps are my domain, don’t interfere!" parallel… And now with ep 3 we’re back to them being haters together. That’s her emotional support man

In ep 4, it doesn’t show well with a screenshot but when Senshi talks about his unmanned vegetable stand with a treasure chest, while in the manga Marcille and Chilchuck both think the same thing, "That’s why that treasure chest akways had money in it…", but in the anime instead they literally finish each other’s thought. Talk about being on the same wavelength.

Ep 5 is a marchil goldmine actually, it showcases perfectly how much of a package deal they are lol. Always sticking close to each other. Glancing at each other during meals… They literally nod at each other before they try a bite to steel themselves. They exchange a serious thoughtful glance when Laios talks about Falin truly being gone atm. They argue a bit but they go right back to sitting right next to each other after the meal <3 My god I can’t deal with them they are so…… "Hate this bitch, not my friend" 3 secs later "Heyy bestie!!" Also he’s worried he brought her mood down after mentioning Falin. Made a post about ep 5 collecting even more screenshots.

Episode 6 my hero my beloved… Again I made a post about the ep collecting all my screenshots here, and even a clip! But this IS the marchil crumbs masterpost thus I must collect the major ones here as well. First of all, fun staff drawings for the first screening!

I already posted a screenshot from the trailer of when Chil had his head on his knees sitting next to her, but after seeing episode 5 I think it’s a fun and interesting trend to notice that they sit next to each other way unnecessarily close wow. They continue to banter a ton, she continues to be very casual with touch, and they’re really cute! I love just how much Marcille blushed damn- It’s really cute too when you remember with the bicorn chapter that Chilchuck teases Marcille BECAUSE he enjoys getting a rise out of her, flustering her and seeing her reactions. I support the teasing -> laughing because her reaction is over the top all-Chilchuck economy. Also she apologizes for having let him go alone and be gone for so long by helping him with sewing his cowl… Cuties

She looked so happy when he opened up about his age!… And then seemed… Disappointed? When he "truly was just a kid". "So you really are a kid! How boring…" This implies that her intent was to tease him for funsies… Ok lads we reached 30 pics see you next post, I’m gonna cover the "wake up clumsy head" manga-anime differences and we’re gonna go back to our usual spoilers yummy schedule.

Here’s Marcille cosplaying as a succubus in the newest Daydream Hour… She may not be a half-foot or have deep-set eyes but let’s be real I think he’d explode

part 6 here!!

[beans-core]

So. Rambles under the cut. I’m a little feral cause I’ve been postponing watching this for a hot minute.

moments from Batman v Superman that made me Feel Something:

the gun that killed Martha being placed just right between her necklace so when it shot her pearls broke. Like. Ough.

“Do you bleed?”

said while staring into Clarks soul with your glinting crazy eyes. such a very normal thing to say bruce. If this version of Bruce wayne wasn’t running around in a bat costume I feel like he’d be a mad scientist. he and lex could be crazy scientist buds who experiment on aliens together. Also the following “you will” after Superman flew away was cringeworthy but the first bit made up for it.

The whole conversation Clark had with his mother, along the lines of “you don’t owe them anything” : Thanks Ma Kent for being so real and true. Also great how Clark runs to her for every emotional crisis what a mommas boy /pos

“I’m older now than my father ever was.”

yo what the fuck that came out of left field and kneed me in the kidney. No words just ouch.

“This is my legacy.” … “The first generation [of Waynes] made their fortune trading with the French. Pelts and skins. They were hunters.”

Olay the look on his face when he said the last sentence was lowkey bringing back the crazy eyes— tempered of course bc it’s Alfred. But jeez no wonder his mask doesn’t cover his eyes because when he gets that freak glare you know it’s scary af for an opponent. Or sexy. Distracting in many ways. Someone put that expression under a microscope. Someone put him under a microscope.

“No one stays good in the world”

Before flying off? Just like that? Had to pause, debate whether to laugh or be suprised, and then just ended up saying “what??” at the screen.

Batman’s metal suit. Brother please you look like if a soup can wanted to be a real boy. I know it’s for a reason, two of those being to look shiny and to include platforms in your boots, but it’s so goofy. Goofy in a cool way.? Like it’s corny because it looks overly intimidating and dangerous, but it also does actually kick ass so. Idk man. Mixed feelings but the majority is LMAO

When bruce hits Clark with the kryptonite poof for the second time, Clark collapses … Bruce goes out of his way to rip a sink off the wall and break it over Clark’s head… i CACKLED. You have so many weapons, multiple that you made specifically for defeating Clark, and you use the FUCKIN SINK.

Ohhh the whole “why did you say Martha!?” Moment. Bruce wondering what else Clark knows just for Lois to rush in and be like “no mr batman that’s his mommas name”. I was sooo expecting for Bruce to go “ah okay well atleast it wasn’t about me teehee” and stiLL GUT HIM LIKE A FISH. Forgot there was more to the movie than the girlies fighting for a minute. But yeah whatever they reconciled. Boooo the show must go on

“I don’t deserve you Alfred.” “No sir, you don’t.”

Yeah… yeah. Especially when Alfred then takes over the fucking batplane thing and continues to be a badass like a minute later lmao.

Bruce you little bitch you can’t introduce yourself as “a friend of your son” to Martha when you were trying to spear him dead not an hour earlier?? This part had me giggling hard. Also Martha you continue to be the best mwah kisses

“You lose.” “I don’t know how to lose.” “You’ll learn.”

CLARK. I don’t need to say anything for this other than CLARK *swoon*.

WONDER WOMANS INTRO MUSIC HAHAHAH

…And then the rest of the movie I forgot to have rational thought. Like a dog seeing a squirrel— Ooo wow fight scenes. Got me like 👁️👁️

Only zoned back in for a moment to laugh at how Bruce and Diana were standing behind Lois while she was having her emotional funeral moment like 🧍🧍.

Honorable mention (aka it’s impossible to narrow it down to my fav parts): every single thing about Lex Luthor Junior. Lex being a charismatic twitchy evil nerd who really really wants to dissect aliens is scarily endearing. Peeling off the dead-guy-kryptonian’s fingerprints— straight up skinning them off the body and wearing them to enter the spaceship is. Hah. Like yeah exactly, the dude you’ve introduced to me in this movie would definitely do that. Calling Superman and god and then full-naming his secret identity, like Lex is shoving the fact that there’s more under the ‘divinity’ right in his face. Oooooh yeah. Setting up a hero surprise date— a “fight night” for “god versus man”— like a deranged matchmaker? Kind of iconic. HOW HE REVEALED HE KIDNAPPED CLARKS MOTHER?? Oh, he’s AWFUL. and he’s GIDDY, completely unrepentant. I’m jittering just thinking about it he made it rain on supes with pictures of his captured mother. that’s a hilarious amount of emotionally fucked up. Fundamentally twisted, that goober is. “and now god bends to my will” AHHHH. But yeah just love how they made him batshit insane, pun entirely intended. The last bit w/ the “dingdingding” was funny.

Jesse Eisenberg played the whole ‘tweaky freaky psycho geek’ sitch sooo well like dude hats off. You found your niche— nerds, psychos, emotionally repressed people, or a wombo combo— and you stuck with it. Keep spreading your geek freak my beloved.

Bonus thirst:

BATTFLECK OH MY GODSHSJDHD… he’s so. Wow. And he’s so fucking large??? Idk how to word it because I’ve just never seen someone with such a stance. A presence. Like his shoulders are so wide? Broad? Genuinely how does he fit through doors being such a hulking hunk of a man. he looks HAWT in a suit, the suit is what enhances it. In his batsuit it’s personally no biggie but as Bruce Wayne he’s SCRUMPTIOUS.

WONDERWOMAN. good holy mama she’s gorgeous, of the drop-dead variety. Her accent is. I’m on my knees. The scene where she gets knocked down by the Monster Thing, huffs, smirks, and then gets back up to fight. WOOF. and of course she’s absolutely beautiful in her dresses but something about that hero costume… maybe it’s how nonchalant she is about killing the Monster Thing while Brice and Clark are both like “wait where did she come from. i thought you brought her.”

Clark is a cutie pie and I Would, don’t get me wrong. But also his cuteness for me is more based on his personality so I don’t classify it as thirst. Kansas boy earned his hotness for me by doing his hero thing, which is pretty on brand actually.

[a-little-bit-of-ravioli]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @the-real-azalea-scroggs! Had to wait until I was of my phone because doing these is a nightmare on mobile lmao

1. How many works do you have on A03?

18 as of a few days ago!

2. What's your total A03 word count?

157,937! Which is. Only a fraction of the word count in my Docs folder. Be prepared.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I mainly write for The Legend of Zelda; specifically Linked Universe! In fact, that's all that's posted on my Ao3 currently, since my fall into that fandom began with me uploading there! Pre-Ao3 I wrote for Black Cat (Anime/Manga), Megaman NT Warrior, various Pokémon things, Assassin's Creed, Yugioh, Final Fantasy XIV and Octopath Traveler! Some of these I still write privately, but I haven't gotten around to re-posting any.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Whistling on Deaf Ears - My longest fic on Ao3, focusing on Wild and Twilight's friendship and how good intentions can lead to disaster.

Iconoclasm - Warriors deals with the room full of portraits in Cia's palace. The Chain also deals with it, but with a bit more fire.

Deserving - Twilight finally tells Rusl that he was the wolf in the village during TP, but that also means dealing with some heavier topics. Colin half overhears them and forms his own conclusions.

Something Greater - The start of the "Hyrule can see magical auras" series! In this one we deal with Legend and his many rings.

Ocean Magic - Mermaid Legend and Zora Time have a race and then fight one of the Big Octos from WW! Fun times.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Every single one!! I love comments, they give me an excuse to ramble about my fic more!! I am always down to ramble about every single insignificant detail of any line and/or section. If you ever want more background info about one of my fics, look to the comments!

So please, I adore comments, I treat them like treasures, not responding to them would be a CRIME.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

There's no contest; Inevitable, my (so far) only MCD fic.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmmm, that's hard to quantify. I usually try to end fics on a hopeful note regardless. I'd say possibly either Deserving, where Twilight reconnects with his family, or Shimmering Blue, Striking White, where Time meets the Fierce Deity settled down on Satori Mountain and they both get closure.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, no! I've been blessed with mostly amazing and patient readers, even when my upload schedule isn't the best.

9. Do you write smut?

No, not really. I've attempted it, but I'm too asexual for it lol

10. Do you write crossovers?

Very, very rarely. Mostly privately, and only very specific ones. Only a single one has had an actual plot, so far (more on that one in question 15!).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also a nope! I tend to write for smaller fandoms, where these things don't tend to happen a lot!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! But it's been a while. Over a decade, in fact! I tried to find the fic to link it here, but it was on the German fanfic website fanfiktion.de, and my friend who posted it back then must have deactivated her account, because it's nowhere to be seen (I still have the Word file though!). It was a Multi-Crossover that started as an RP in a forum, and we took turns turning the RP into prose one chapter each. "If a Hero Turns to Dark" was its title. We were edgy teenagers.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Hissssss. Bad question. Shoo. They are all equally important!!

But it's probably TenRose from Doctor Who.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

One of the very few crossovers I've ever worked on; a crossover fic between Assassin's Creed and Doctor Who, that I have mapped out in both chronological and timeline order, and yes, those are different. I only ever wrote about a quarter of it, since my primary audience of it disappeared when we graduated. I doubt I'll ever pick it back up properly, and if I do it'll probably go through heavy rewrites first since it's so old. Finishing it is a nice thought, but realistically, after 9 years it'll never be high priority enough for it to actually happen.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, especially arguments, and emotional impact. I've been told I do really well making characters feel alive and believable! Also I like to believe I'm decent at setting a scene and giving it the vibe I want it to have!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with dialogue tags when nothing much is happening besides the talking. I always feel it's too bland, and fall back on the same phrases. My scene transitions could use some work too.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done this with Japanese phrases, because I was a massive weeb. Usually I followed them up with their own translations, though; I'm not the biggest fan of footnote translations, unless they are properly linked to. Simple dialogue tags are my favourite way of indicating a language switch.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Black Cat the Manga/Anime! It's a series about an assassin turned bounty hunter trying to live a life separate from his murdery past, but getting dragged back into things by still wanting to avenge his best friend's death. The series has a special place in my heart and my bookshelf, it left an imprint on 13-year-old me that will never leave.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Probably Jailbreak, uncharacteristically enough! It's one of the only fics I never got stuck in once. Writing it was a great feeling from start to finish. I love writing all of my fics, but that was a special few days.

Tagging @ahrva @nowhere-to-go-but-down @silvercaptain24 and @aeghina! And anyone who wants to do it, really, go wild

[dreamcatcher-roulette]

Can I admit to something? Is this a K-pop safe space? It's not drama it's just deeply personally embarrassing.

So there’s two halves to this. The relevance of both might become apparent some time before I finish rambling and get to the point but bear with me. I'm desperately trying to justify my situation.

Firstly. I'm a girl group fan. Dreamcatcher are easily and effortlessly in a tier of their own but I do enjoy and even keep up some other girl groups rather attentively. The obvious follow up question here is well, what about boy groups? Here is a collection of excuses I have previously attempted to offer up in my own defence:

Musically, I like bass and I like high notes. This kind of lends itself to prefering female vocalists, but, as I may have mentioned before, I'm not actually into K-pop that much for the music (Dreamcatcher just happen to also make the music that fits my taste perfectly on top of having the best aesthetics).

Boy group fashion kind of blows. I mean, I have high and somewhat unrealistic expectations for any stage outfits due to the standard Dreamcatcher set, but Jesus Christ the baggy pants epidemic amongst boy groups is something else. Mens fashion can be fun. I think it frequently isn't for the stages I have seen though.

The boy group hair meta also kinda blows. I'm perfectly capable of realising when something just isn't catered to me (and may well have cultural context that's flying directly over my head) and the bowl cut adjacent curtains look that's almost a default hairstyle is one of those things. Just cannot get behind it. Sorry to all the enjoyers.

And now, even though there is truth in all of those excuses, here's the actual reason why I'm making such broad, sweeping statements about an extremely diverse subgroup of artists:

K-pop is an industry that loves to feed on parasocial relationships, and I am gay in the direction that makes me immune to girlfriend fanservice but really fucking succeptible to the right boyfriend fanservice. So long as I keep pretending every boy group sucks I am safe. If I get sucked into one of them it will probably just straight up ruin my life.

Okay. Secondly. Many years ago when I was still in high school my neighbour got really into K-pop. She was a big fan of EXO, and then, this new up and coming group called BTS (anyone heard of them?) She tried, unsuccessfully, to get me to share her passion multiple times. Of the videos she showed me, these are the ones that made an impact:

LEDApple - Time is up

SHINee - Ring Ding Dong

BIGBANG - Fantastic Baby

I liked them enough to watch them on my own a few times, but that was the end of it, until in 2020 I got recommended Scream on YouTube and the rest is history. However, one of the things that amused me getting into K-pop myself was realising 2/3 of those songs reached somewhat legendary status in the time since. Even being a GG fan news from the "other side" certainly still flies across the river, sometimes with recognition, e.g. G-Dragon's semi recent drug "scandal". I remember seeing those articles and thinking huh. Wild. That's what he looks like now. It is at this point I would like you to imagine a bullet narrowly missing my head as I'm looking the other way.

On to the present. I watched MAMA 2024 live nearly 2 months ago. I like the end of year shows. My only complaint is they should invite Dreamcatcher lmao (thank you AAA 2023 that performance still lives rent free in my head) but overall, great fun. Now I must confess, for the aforementioned reasons, I always* mute boy group performances when watching shows live. Happy to critique the fashion, don't want the songs stuck in my head, which is an inevitable outcome of listening to music whether you like it or not (and I'm well aware some of it is probably good).

*Technically I have one exception in either direction, but both are irrelevant to the point.

As you may be aware, G-Dragon performed at MAMA. Everyone seemed pretty hyped. Normally this would have been a mute for me but well, momentous occasion isn't it. The king of K-pop is back. Might as well get the full experience. And it was good! I'm not exactly a fan but I did have enough nostalgia for fantastic baby to appreciate the bigbang stage, and watching all the idols freak out was so adorable. I want you to imagine three more bullets narrowly missing me while I'm looking at the aespa reaction shot.

Like, you're probably aware of where this is heading, right? But it wasn't even the stage. AFTER the stage they still had to give him the award they made up for him being there. And man. Okay. All the actual real life crushes I've had on men that I knew started out having very little if anything to do with their appearance. I'm ace so maybe that changes it but also I don't think that's exclusively it because I'm not the only person I've ever heard say that people you are attracted to become more attractive in some kind of self enforcing feedback loop. Thats why the K-pop content vortex is so brutal because as soon as you're in the variety content rabbit hole suddenly you don't just have some guy who is pretty you have some guy who is funny or thoughtful or he likes all of your favourite movies and you start feeling like you know him, even though you don't. I know that the force of that connection if you let it happen easily overpowers the baggy clothes and the shitty haircut and every other flimsy excuse but given only a muted performance stream or occasional acceptance speech there is not enough room for that personality to break through. I can watch Dreamcatcher accept an award and I see them because I've watched hundreds of hours of vlogs at this point but groups I don't know are just that. Groups I don't know.

Yeah. So about that music visionary of the year.

Holy shit man. I've never seen anyone get up and accept an award with such fucking weird and awkward vibes. I think I was gone from the moment he reached the podium. I said to the friend I was watching the stream with hey. I think maybe I should turn this one off actually. And she said no :) Because she is evil. You know how sometimes a single event can recontextualise over a decade of vaguely knowing about someone's existence? Head in my hands. Of all people. G-Dragon is really fucking attractive. Which is like. In twenty twenty four? Really? Profoundly humiliating discovery. What am I even supposed to do with this one? It's literally G-Dragon. I know there are discourse minefields the likes of which I cannot even fathom wading into this and what am I anyway? A fan? I don't think so. I saw one singular awards show and went holy shit why is G-Dragon the hottest K-pop man by actually one hundred thousand miles and then I just had to go to work again the next morning and be normal. And the thing is that I was not even remotely normal because I then decided to dye my hair bright red the following week which to be fair I have always wanted to do but well it's not UNrelated to the current crisis is it. I'm just. Existing. Really thought maybe it would wear off by now but WELL. It has not.