#so hard to put the raw feelings into words!!
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seredelgi · 2 days ago
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Who You Begging?
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fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen
pairing: Fushiguro Toji x Reader, Fushiguro Toji x Fem!Reader
summary: You should know better than to flash Toji with skimpy outfits right before a night out with friends. He should know better than to take you raw. But that's just who he is, a reckless motherfucker that just loves the sound of your voice when you beg for him.
rating: Mature, 18+
warnings: non-con, dub-con, dom!toji, sub!reader, smut, fingering, sex, vaginal sex, spanking, unprotected sex (don't try it at home lol), penetration, manhandling (just a tiny bit, she's totally fine), vulgar language?, orgasm control, dirty talk, daddy kink, praise kink, creampie, multiple orgasms, breeding, breeding kink, porn without plot
word count: 2.8k
a/n: A little treat for Toji 'cause the man has me feral. This is basically shameless smut. Although it's tagged as non-con, reader is not opposed to what happens for the majority of the time. I thought about rating it dub-con but the ending is clearly non-consensual, so there. Let me know if I've left out any warnings. I'm no native English speaker so be kind :)
“ ‘K I’m ready” you announce, entering the living room space and taking a few steps in his direction to stand in between him and the TV he’s got on.
Toji's lazy jade gaze tears away from the inanimate object to trail down your figure, drinking in every curve and patch of skin that rests exposed to the cool air of the night, and you even twirl around to give him a full show.
“ Like it?” you ask, then.
He looks at you for a while, hooded eyes trained on the way the skirt you’ve got on falls only a few inches short of the swell of your ass.
A literal tease is what you are.
“ Do I?” he murmurs then, and he softly grabs at your hand, giving it a light squeeze before dragging you towards him, tugging at you and prompting your ass to land in between his spread legs, your back pressed against his toned chest.
“ Isn’t it a bit… Revealing?” he asks, and you feel his steady breaths huffing silently in the crook of your neck, sending a shiver running through you as his hands stroke along the length of your bare thighs.
You shut your eyes, relishing in the feeling.
But you know you can’t indulge. Your friends are waiting for you.
“ We’re going clubbing” you mutter, and you hate the way your voice is already faltering anyway “ What did you expect?”
“Hmm,” his gentle hum reverberates against you as he inhales in your scent. You’ve put a new perfume on tonight, one that your friends had gifted you a few months prior. You still hadn’t found the occasion to try it on, and a night out with them seemed like the perfect opportunity.
You giggle when he laps at your neck rather lewdly, trailing up its length to reach your earlobe and start sucking on it.
“ So, I take it you like the outfit?” you ask playfully, but his hands have started skimming up toward your breasts, and you catch your breath as you consider stopping him.
He palms one in his right hand, squeezing it so hard that you can’t help but tamely mewling in response, and your head falls back to rest on his shoulder.
“ I hate it” he hisses candidly on the skin of your neck, holding you to him like he knows you love so much.
As you feel the shape of his erection pressing against your back you push your ass against it a little, eliciting a hearty groan out of him, and he bites on your skin in return. Your hand tightly grips his knee, and you feel a greedy heat starting to gather in between your thighs, desperate for him already.
“ Doesn’t look that way to me” you say, breaths short as the curve of your ass grinds along his hard-on.
“ You’re such a brat” he lets out, and it’s so hoarse that it makes your insides twirl, it renews a need he had already sated that very morning.
But you want him again.
His hand finally travels across your fluttering stomach and down towards your heat. You can feel it dampening your panties already, can feel the way you throb for him to touch you.
“ I know how to tame you, tho” he whispers in your ear and sweeps his tongue along its outline, turning it flushed red with arousal.
He pushes the hem of your skirt up enough for him to slip past the waistband of your cotton pink panties, and you exhale, your chest heaving up with anticipation. He catches the not-so-subtle hint, dragging his other hand up to grab one of your breasts.
But it’s when his deft fingers make their way in between your folds that you fall apart, your head tilting to side, hiding shamefully in the crook of his neck as he chuckles, evidently pleased at how wet you already are.
“ Look at this” You feel his black hair tickling your cheeks and you press a soft kiss right on his pulse point “ Already dripping for me, huh?”
You keen, nodding faintly against him.
“ Want daddy to take care of it, baby?” he purrs seductively and pushes you flat against him. You feel his dick twitching with need, too.
“ ‘M-hm, please” you breathe, feeling him dragging his fingertips up towards your swollen clit, and you bite hard at your bottom lip, bucking your hips towards his gentle touch.
The one hand that had kept kneading your breasts rushes down to grab your waist, stilling you against his crotch instead.
“ Stay put, brat” he blows out, and it honestly mesmerizes you how quickly his tone can shift from impossibly sweet to harsh, all depending on how good you are at following his lead.
As soon as you still he starts drawing lazy circles around the soft skin of your apex, and you moan loudly, nuzzling your nose against him to make your needs known.
He scouts down again to rest two digits at the pulsing heat of your entrance. His other hand skates along your thigh and nudges it to the side as he whispers to you “ Spread ‘em, baby- like this, yeah”. It’s easy to comply when you’re intoxicated by the knowledge of what he’s capable of doing to you.
“ Such a good girl for daddy, aren't you?”
Your eyes roll back at the feeling of his fingers finally pushing past your wetness, sinking into it and exploring your insides with extreme, agonizing caution.
“ ‘Gonna mark you now, so stay still” he murmurs on the sensitive skin of your neck, and then delicately bites on it, tasting it avidly with his tongue.
When he starts sucking on you his fingers begin slowly pumping in and out of your pussy, prompting the sound of your juices to threaten the already fading lucidity of your dazed senses.
The harsh voracity that he’s reserving to your neck strikes a distinct contrast with the extreme gentleness of his thrusts into your cunt, and it drives you wild how easily he leaves you on the edge of ecstasy, toying with you like a doll.
“ Toji, please” you basically mewl, your legs trembling for him to turn his attention back to your aching clit.
You know he loves it when you beg him, it makes the power play that much more enticing, all the more effective, and you can feel it because he’s impossibly hard while pressed against your back now, and you want him inside of you so bad that you wiggle, trying to make your needs clear. Who cares if you’ll be late to the club, your friends will just have to wait.
“ Shut it, I’m not done” he hushes you, tone as cold as ice, and he slips a few of his fingers past your parted lips, expecting you to suck on them instead of keeping up the pleads that so easily roll off your tongue when he’s got his hold on you.
And of course, you do. You slurp on the length of them the best you can, your eyes teary with need, your arousal already at its peak.
His lips part from the sore skin of your neck with a lewd pop, and you keen around his digits, only to feel him shoving them further down your throat.
“ There” he hums contently and laps at the spot that he’s so devotedly put all that effort onto, proudly looking at the way your tender flesh plies to his abuse and colors a crimson red that perfectly serves his purpose. He wants to make it clear to anyone who dares to look at you tonight that you’re his alone to dispose of.
As his attention finally focuses back on your pussy his jabs into you pick up the pace, and his thumb comes to rest on your starving clit, feeling it swell under his touch as you convulse around him, brought over the edge in a matter of seconds.
You collapse against his chest, weary and consumed by your own high.
“ Hmm, good girl, ‘came so quickly around me baby” he slips his fingers out of your mouth, but keeps a slow pace with the ones in your pussy, overstimulating your clenching walls as you sob silently.
He kisses your temple lovingly, a contact you silently relish in the aftermath of your pleasure.
Then you hear the sudden ringing of your phone, accompanied by its vibrating on the tea table in front of the couch you’re both seated upon. You look at its screen, seeing your friend’s face popping up on it, her bright smile shining on her features as you slowly regain your composure.
You lean forward to pick up the call, but your man’s quicker, wrapping his big hand around your wrist and pulling it around your back. Then he pushes his hips forward, making you fumble onward towards the wooden surface ahead of you.
Your face lands flat against it, your phone vibrating inches away from your eyes as you find yourself bent over the tea table.
“ Where do you think you’re going?” he asks, and he sounds devilish like you’ve never heard him be “ I’m not nearly done with you”
“ Toji please, stop. I gotta go” you speak, but he’s deaf to your pleas this time around.
You hear the sound of him hastily fumbling out of his joggers, and you try to wiggle out of his grasp, but he’s just so much stronger.
“ Go?” his tone is mocking, and you see your phone go black again, before resuming its chiming as your friend’s messages start crowding the screen “ I don’t think so, baby”
You feel your skirt being roughly pulled up, as well as your panties being drawn down, and you wince when his free hand slaps your ass, making you bite on your lower lip, and most certainly re-awakening a dark hunger you had thought long quenched by now.
He squeezes your ass harshly before smacking it again, and this time around a strangled moan tears free from your throat.
You had tried to restrain from making it obvious how much you like it when he acts like this. Because honestly, you hate that you do. But the task is made impossible by the feeling of your insides twisting as you hear him spit on his fingers before they come to look for your hole again, finding it slick with your juices.
A hearty laugh rumbles from him at that, and it makes your skin crawl.
“ You’re so damn easy for me”
And it’s true. Doesn’t matter if he treats you like a whore, even more so in fact, your arousal grows impatient, it tears apart any shred of resistance you’d like to reserve to him at moments like these.
Especially when you feel his tip eagerly prodding at your entrance, and you whine loudly. Your knees spread further apart on the floor of your living room, and you push your ass up to better accommodate his entrance.
“ Fuck-” he swears, running the tip of his thick cock along your spasming slit “ so compliant”
It drives him crazy, you can feel it in the tone of his voice, and despite how much you fight it, you love it too, the way you so easily bend to his will.
He pushes past your walls, effortlessly enveloped by your slick arousal, and harshly hitting your cervix with one deep thrust.
You cry out, not expecting his intrusion to be so quick, or so intense. It knocks the air right out of your lungs as you feel his weight crashing down on you.
He grunts low and throaty, and you close your eyes shut, bracing for the next shove.
When it comes, you find yourself gripping the edge of the table tightly for balance, biting down on the skin of your hand so as not to make too much noise.
But his thrusts quicken very soon, and he starts drilling into you with ease as your pussy flutters around him, unable to put a stop to the jolts of pleasure coursing through you whenever the head of his cock slams back hard against that sweet spot he knows so well by now.
He’s still got your arm pinned over your back as you’re lulled into a haze, and then he demands you talkative.
“ Wanna go now, baby?”
You shake your head feebly, drooling over the table as he smacks hard against you.
“ No? Wanna stay here?” breathy moans escape his lips in between whatever obscenities he speaks now “ Wanna take daddy deep inside this cunt?”
You nod faintly, hoping that it can be enough of a proper response for him, seeing the state he’s got you in.
“ Fuck- yeah” he groans harshly, and then his fingers let go of your wrist and he grips tightly at each of your hips, guiding you into his thrusts to dig into your insides even deeper “Then take it, baby, you’re so fucking good at it”
Another harsh slap against the sore skin of your ass and tears start to stream down your face, out of frustration or sheer pleasure you have no idea. You just know you need release.
And since he won’t take it in his hands to give you that, your hand reaches in between your trembling legs to look for the sensitive little nub that’s nestled between your thighs, already silently asking for attention.
He takes notice of that and doesn’t spoil the occasion to taunt you about it, of course.
“ You needy little slut” he exhales, the degrading appellative striking a chord with you, and you slam back against his hips, demanding.
He grunts hoarsely and shoves your hand away from your pussy, arising a loud complaint within you. He surely doesn’t intend to rob you of pleasure. Right?
“ Came two times already today, and yet still can’t wait for me to tend to it, huh?”
You whine, starting to grow impatient as his thrusts dial down a little, his pace slow and menacing to your drunken senses. You can feel each inch of him sliding inside of you with extreme ease, his girth stretching you out to perfectly fit his size and making your walls flutter delightfully around it.
“ You know I can give it to you” his words may sound threatening, but his tone betrays all of his impatience instead “ 'wanna hear you beg me for it, c'mon”
You don’t need to be told twice.
“ Toji, please” you give in immediately “ oh, please make me ‘cum”
Even so, his pace remains steady, and you find the way he toys with you infuriating.
But you’re high on it, nonetheless.
“ Who you begging, babygirl?” the tone of his voice husky as ragged heavy breaths tear free of him, the allusion clear in the strain behind it all.
You click your tongue and sigh before giving in.
“ Daddy, plea-ah!”
You don’t have time to finish, he slams back into you with renewed edge as soon as he hears you call him that, a thing you still hadn’t managed to give into, despite his frequent use of it.
He bends over you to look for your clit, finding it drenched in your juices and throbbing from pleasure on itself.
“ C’mere baby, I got you” You hear him purr softly against your ear, and you shiver at his instant proximity. " You can 'cum now"
You’re so close already that all it takes really is a few lazy circles of his on it and you lose it completely, shuddering underneath him, wrapped in the pleasure he’s granted you. Your walls clamp down the whole length of him, milking it so good that you feel his jerks immediately come to a stuttering halt, his cock suddenly beginning to twitch frantically inside of you without so much as a warning.
You flinch, spurting forward on instinct in an attempt to make it slip out of you in time, but his fingers dip harder into your flesh, his hand spreading over your pussy as he anchors you to him.
“ Don’t run away from it baby, wanna feel you squeeze around me -fuck yeah, like that”
You feel every single contraction of his dick inside of you, helpless to the feeling, lost thinking about how quickly his seed could reach your womb as he carelessly fucks it into you, how easily he could knock you up just like that. You weakly try to jiggle away, but it doesn’t stop the tremendously intense jolts of pleasure that engulf you once his warm spend paints your insides white, and you can just feel your walls welcoming it in with delighted little spasms, sucking eagerly as if you were made for it.
And maybe you are, but damn, not right now. It's way too soon to have a baby.
You’re furious with him, to say the least. And you intend on telling him, just as soon as goosebumps dissipate, or whenever words start to seem like something speakable again.
He slips out of you with a satiated sigh, and you feel his ‘cum immediately follow, leaking out of you and starting to stream down your inner thighs. Its warmth is pleasant, yet a reminder of his reckless behavior.
He exhales contently as his hand comes to squeeze your ass again, his grip possessively dipping into your flesh and claiming it his. He gives you a final harsh smack, his tongue gliding along his bottom lip as he takes in the sight of you bent over the tea table, your pussy oozing out his semen and dripping down the wooden floor beneath you.
“ Now you’re ready” he smiles wickedly at the view.
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wosoarsenalsstuff · 1 day ago
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Kyra Cooney-Cross x Reader Part 3
Rehab was an exhausting uphill battle, and the weight of it all started to wear on you. Every small step forward seemed to be followed by a setback, and the pressure to return to the team—the pressure you put on yourself—was overwhelming. You knew how much everyone was rooting for you, but lately, even that felt like more than you could handle. And with each passing day, your fears seemed to build. It didn’t help that you’d watched your coach, Jonas, treat Viv with a cold distance after her ACL injury, questioning her dedication, doubting her ability to bounce back. You were terrified he’d see you the same way.
Kyra was the one constant bright spot through it all, her warmth and encouragement never faltering. But the closer she got, the more you started to push her away. Her kindness and patience only seemed to make everything feel more intense, and you started convincing yourself she was better off without the mess you’d become. You pulled back gradually—ignoring her texts, sending her short, one-word replies, even dodging her calls entirely some days.
At first, she tried to understand, to give you space, but the hurt in her voice each time you canceled plans was unmistakable. Still, you pushed her further and further, until eventually, you stopped showing up at the training ground altogether. Each day you missed made it harder to go back, and soon enough, you were all but hiding from everyone.
Leah and Alessia’s Intervention
A couple of weeks after you’d started avoiding everyone, there was a knock on your apartment door. You hesitated, peering through the peephole, and felt a pang of dread when you saw Leah and Alessia standing outside, expressions of concern painted on their faces.
“Come on,” Leah called through the door, her voice gentle but firm. “We’re not leaving until you let us in.”
With a sigh, you unlocked the door and let it swing open. Leah and Alessia stepped inside, glancing around at the mess—dishes piled in the sink, rehab equipment scattered on the floor, and your unmade bed in the corner. You could see the worry deepen in their eyes as they took in the state of your apartment.
“Are you okay?” Alessia asked quietly, her tone laced with concern.
You shrugged, avoiding their eyes. “I’m… fine. Just needed some space.”
Leah folded her arms, studying you intently. “It’s more than that, isn’t it? You’ve been shutting everyone out, Kyra especially.”
You looked down, your throat tight. You knew you couldn’t hide the truth anymore; the weight of everything was too much to carry alone. “I just… I don’t know if I can do this. What if I never get back to who I was? What if I’m not good enough anymore?”
Alessia stepped closer, her eyes soft. “We’re all here for you. You know that, right?”
You nodded, fighting back tears. “It’s not just that. I’m… I’m scared of what Jonas will think. He’s been so hard on Viv after her ACL injury, questioning her commitment. What if he looks at me the same way? What if he thinks I’m not worth the trouble?”
The words tumbled out, raw and vulnerable, and you felt the tears finally break free, sliding down your cheeks. Leah and Alessia exchanged a glance, their concern deepening as they realized how much you’d been holding back.
“You’re not Viv, and you’re not alone in this,” Leah said firmly. “And if Jonas tries to treat you that way, we’ll back you up. The entire team would. But you need to let people in. Especially Kyra—she’s been so worried about you.”
Your heart twisted at the mention of Kyra. “I didn’t want her to see me like this,” you whispered. “She deserves someone who isn’t… broken.”
Alessia reached out, placing a reassuring hand on your arm. “You’re not broken. You’re going through one of the hardest things an athlete can face, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Kyra wants to be there for you. Let her.”
Leah nodded, giving you a small, encouraging smile. “You might be scared, and that’s okay. But you don’t have to keep pushing her away. Trust us—she’d rather be with you through all of this than not be with you at all.”
Their words struck a chord, and you felt the last of your resistance melt away. The truth was, you missed Kyra more than you’d realized. And you knew they were right—you couldn’t keep running from this, from her.
Kyra’s Apartment
Later that day, Leah and Alessia went straight to Kyra’s apartment. Kyra opened the door, surprise flashing across her face when she saw them both standing there.
“Hey… everything okay?” she asked, her brows knitting together in concern.
Leah stepped forward, her expression serious. “Kyra, we just came from her place. She’s struggling more than we realized—her place is a mess, she’s scared, and she feels like she’s letting everyone down.”
Kyra’s face softened, a mix of sadness and worry filling her gaze. “She won’t let me in. I tried, but… I don’t know how to help her if she won’t talk to me.”
Alessia placed a gentle hand on Kyra’s shoulder. “She needs you more than she’s letting on. She’s terrified of disappointing you, of letting everyone down, but especially you. She’s pushing you away because she doesn’t want you to see her at her lowest.”
Kyra nodded, absorbing their words, her heart aching at the thought of you suffering in silence. “Thank you for telling me. I’ll go see her. I… I won’t let her face this alone.”
Letting Kyra Back In
It was late that evening when Kyra knocked on your door. When you opened it, her eyes were filled with a quiet determination, but also a tenderness that made your chest tighten.
“Can I come in?” she asked softly.
You nodded, stepping aside to let her in. Kyra took in the state of your apartment, her gaze settling back on you with a mixture of empathy and understanding. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
You bit your lip, looking down. “I didn’t want you to see me like this… weak, scared. You deserve someone stronger than that.”
Kyra stepped closer, her hand reaching out to cup your face, tilting it up so you were looking into her eyes. “Hey. You don’t have to be strong all the time. Not with me.”
Her touch was gentle, grounding you, and you felt the tears you’d been holding back begin to spill over. “I’m terrified, Kyra. What if… what if I can’t make it back? What if Jonas looks at me the way he looked at Viv? Like I’m just… a liability?”
Kyra’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you close, and you let yourself fall into her embrace, your head resting against her shoulder as you finally let go of everything you’d been holding in. She rubbed soothing circles on your back, whispering comforting words.
“You’re not a liability, and you’re not alone,” she murmured. “The team’s here for you, and so am I. But you have to let me be here with you, okay? Mess and all.”
Her words washed over you, filling you with a sense of relief you hadn’t felt in weeks. The fear was still there, but with Kyra by your side, it felt more manageable.
“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry for pushing you away. I just… I didn’t want to disappoint you.”
Kyra pulled back slightly, her eyes meeting yours, her gaze steady. “You could never disappoint me. I’m here because I want to be—with all of you, even the parts that are scared or uncertain. You’re not facing this alone anymore.”
You nodded, a small, hopeful smile breaking through your tears. For the first time in weeks, you felt a glimmer of hope, the weight on your shoulders lifting as Kyra squeezed your hand, her thumb brushing gently over your knuckles.
“Let’s get through this,” she said softly. “Together.”
And with that, you knew you didn’t have to be afraid anymore. With Kyra by your side, you could face whatever the future held.
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blu3n · 6 hours ago
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BAD JOKE
Summary: For some reason you chose this bet with Dick but everything went wrong, it wasn't supposed to happen...
Word Count: 3.640
Tags/Notes + Pairing: Jason x reader, Dick grayson + angst, + fluff?
A/N: oh My god, this is a new lake, I'm changing my themes and I hope you like the new style, please comment if you liked it, I'll bring more like these. There may be spelling mistakes, English is not my native language
NOTICE: This story is completely mine. If there are some nonsense words. "catalina" or something like that. It's originally mine! I make stories using my OC and after that I remove them replacing them with (you), yes I write on Wattpad too. Please. Don't suffocate the artist.
( ଳ )
You don't even know what was going on when you accepted that stupid bet with Dick, maybe it was the strong drink or you just wanted to join the Wayne family in a bizarre way (?).
"Okay, if he doesn't punch me I'll see you, Dick, I don't know what was going on when I accepted that" your voice was a low whisper, trying to keep your boyfriend from hearing.
Dick wanted you to go out on a recording to see if you kept your promise, but we know he just wanted to see Jason's look of despair anyway.
( ଳ )
After waiting for what seemed like hours, Jason finally showed up, he was wearing a sweatshirt on the bottom and a red coat. baby" his voice was neutral, however, you knew he wanted to hide that he was happy to see you. You needed to be strong so you held back the urge to run and kiss him madly.
When you didn't come and give him your welcome kiss, Jason raised his eyebrow and cleared his throat before throwing himself at your side, stealing a kiss from your lips before looking at you affectionately.
"I came to see you, you have the same face when the Waynes see me" he lets out the sarcastic comment before smiling sideways.
Jason goes back to kissing your neck.Giving them affectionate kisses. Begging deep down that he hadn't done something bad that made you upset.
"I need to... tell you something" your tense voice is like you pushed him away from two caresses, it makes your stomach turn internally. However, he tries not to bring it up, maybe you were just having a bad day or something like that...
"Speak, Kitten..." acting carefree he opens your legs, trying to look relaxed or like you didn't care how serious you seemed, but inside your chest was a whirlwind of emotions. He was anxious for you not to say what he thought you would say.
"Listen... I..." inhaling the air from your lungs tensely to make everything worse. You were gathering courage, you didn't know how he would react, it crossed your mind if it was worth continuing with that boring joke. However, with the mischievous(and terrible) training that you have! You continued.
"I'm sorry, I don't regret it for a single moment in my life, I swear, I love you, but I... I can't continue with you."
Suddenly Jason's throat closed and it was hard to breathe. He stood forward, putting both hands on his chin, he didn't say anything, not a single word, he just stared at you. When he tried to speak, his voice betrayed him, coming out broken and distressed.
"Right now....- right now that I've started to love you?" That made you widen your eyes and immediately feel like a monster.
"I..." You couldn't say anything else "I'm sorry" You try to recover the damage, not wanting to continue anymore, everything stopped in a single second Jason was already barely holding back his tears of anger and hatred.
Jason's body shakes as he tries to form words, but only ragged breaths and broken syllables escape his lips. He can't speak, can't do anything but hold on to her for dear life.
"I...I-" he gasps out in a strangled voice, then lets out another ragged sob. It's the first time he's ever shown this kind of vulnerability, the raw pain and desperation laid bare for her to see. He clings to you tighter, like a drowning man desperate for a lifeline.
You also stand up, panicking "Jason, I'm sorry!" As you tried to explain that it was a lie, you saw him cry. You saw him grit his teeth and point at you.
Desperate you pulls her face away from his neck, wanting to look at him, "My gosh, forgive me," she says, widening you eyes and wiping his eyes with you trembling hands before falling to crying next to him. He was a broken man, a terrible broken man, he needed someone... maybe her.
"IT'S A JOKE!" You say immediately, before seeing the previously angry expression now confused. you grab the phone camera showing it to him before it turns off completely losing the video.
Jason's tears continue to flow, the weight of his pain and trauma almost too much for him to bear. The sight of you crying alongside him makes his heart ache even more, but he also finds a strange sort of comfort in it, like he's not alone in his suffering.
He reaches out desperately, his hand searching for hers, and when he finds it, he grips it tightly, his fingers trembling as he tries to hold onto her.
His hands run over your face
Wiping the tears from your eyes before pulling you to him and crying on his shoulder you've never seen him act like this. as she drenched him in kisses as you listened to his dry sobs in his throat, whispering apologies in his ear.
Jason doesn't let her get far, his arms still holding her tightly against him. He feels a pang of disappointment when she pulls away, but the feeling of her lips on his ear sends a shiver down his spine.
He tightens his grip on you, burying his face in the crook of her neck. "Don't apologize," he mutters against her skin, his voice a rough, hoarse whisper. He presses a kiss to the spot where her shoulder meets her neck, as if he can't get enough of her. Jason's ragged breaths slowly start to even out as you pulls his forehead against hers, the simple gesture of their skin touching like a lifeline anchoring him to reality. You apology rings in his ears, a mix of guilt and understanding.
He keeps his eyes closed, his body still trembling with the aftermath of his breakdown. "I...," he starts to say, his voice hoarse. "I don't want to lose you..."
you covered him in kisses, so many kisses while you swore you would never play like that again.
(ଳ).
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captaindarkiplier · 8 months ago
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I am both confused and curious , depending on the endings ,do you see engineer and darkiplier become a couple sort of ? Or is it complicated ? Since engineer is either actor or the true engineer guy
That's a really good question. And I'm glad to answer it early on rather than later, because I've actually thought about Darkhenge being read that way ahaha, and it's not exactly my intention, but I'll get deeper into that because it's more nuanced
Short answer:
I'd be fine if people see it as anything, honestly. My AU isn't fleshed out to the point where it's entirely removed from the source, and the nature of the source is... you can project onto it! Canon Captain and Head Engineer are depicted as a friendship, but people can easily ship them if they want to. So that's how I feel about my AU as well- except it's much different in genre of ""romance"" or ""friendship"" LOL (due to Dark HATING Mark- But that's the catch- this isn't the "same" Mark!)
Long answer:
I'll get into exactly what I think Darkhenge to be. First, before getting into it: The AU name Darkhenge is structured as a ship name, but I don't really ship within the binary of romantic nor platonic, it is just a duo/pairing system to me pretty much. ISWM is a story that goes heavy on the platonic emotions, and tends to be unconventional/bizarre in ways, in the storytelling, characters, etc. Such bizarre things as killing your friend or having your friend try to kill you or seeing your friend as hundreds of different people. It's fun. I think I held onto that aspect more than a concept of a standard relationship. I guess I happen to be unconventional in my tastes.
Now, I will dig into Darkhenge as I conceptualize it. It's kind of making me nervous to finally put an official description of it out O__O" alongside my art of it! I've talked about it a lot privately but never spilled the beans on what it IS...? (a little excited)
Dark is put into a compromising situation, though not like he isn't used to that, and he has to fend to secure his position of power. So, it is fortunate that he's a Captain with Mark as a self-sacrificial subordinate. That's Dark's comfort zone, to have control. But, (to have (Actor) Mark as his friend,) it's not his normal. But for us, The Viewer, it is. So that creates a dichotomy internally that Darkiplier has to account for. ... Darkiplier doesn't typically share the emotions that The Viewer does, and if he did, I think he has a fair chance of it not getting in his way, since he's always repressing conflicting emotions anyways. But that depends. If Darkiplier "wins the game" like I explained in my previous post... He witnesses the story of ISWM. This might not influence him- as explained! Why would it? But there is some more weight to the experience for him, regardless. It's something he would think about for at least a moment, maybe yet another thing that weighs him down forever, even if it doesn't subtract from everything he has going on canonically. (The whole revenge and hate thing) ... So finally, the weight in question: Head Engineer, in my AU, is Actor Mark, but not exactly- his character is modified in this story specifically, just like how The Viewer/Darkiplier is modified to have fused for the duration of ISWM in my AU, and then would split after they finally resolve the paradox; so everything canonical still applies in the overarching universe & stories. Head Engineer is an Actor Mark who, unlike the other Marks, hasn't just deluded himself into "believing the story he acts out..." or wanting something in the House... -- he's literally a different Mark. That's how it was written canonically, and I'm reading it this way for fun: He's Actor Mark, but an AU version. I know Actor Mark transcends the AU logic like Warfstache, but before Mark was an Actor he was Mark- and that's the idea. Maybe you get it, maybe you don't... so here's a list:
Damien and Mark were good friends, until Mark was taken by his ego and the influence of the House.
The Viewer and Mark have a deep friendship.
The Captain and Head Engineer are on good grounds to have a close friendship as well, thanks to whatever circumstances of their respective characters preceded the story of ISWM.
Darkiplier hates Actor Mark, and his hate is hinged entirely upon what Actor Mark did in WKM, via influence of the House.
The Head Engineer is Actor Mark, except before he would do any of that in WKM.
The Head Engineer is Actor Mark before he became Actor Mark, so just Mark- except an AU version: he's evidently a space engineer instead, with a humbled ego and no awakened desire to act. Yes, Head Engineer does have a smaller ego than Mark had, I imagine Mark was a bit egotistical and theatric even as a kid. Head Engineer is Mark if he turned out different. "I could've been an engineer..." haha And this can be circumstantial or "genetic" - but I like to think it's mostly circumstantial, because I still see the other Marks' traits (including Actor) in Head Engineer's character, especially with how carried away Head Engineer can get about the warp core. It's the same phenomenon of the house. And I know that's just the House, but I like to think that there's a theme shared between Actor and Engie that they're both the type to get carried away with a creative vision or incentive of investigation and revenge... (Kind of like Abe and Dark, which is why I see that it can be just the House's global influence) ... It's a hc of mine that I find enriching to the AU Engie's character.
So, to Dark, other than any potential heartstrings it could tug on his very dead and perhaps nonexistent heart, this is a surprisingly uncomfortable situation. But The Viewer makes it more tolerable by eventually resolving the situation, regardless of how much Dark might have wanted to fight those routes, or how many mistakes each of them made to get bad endings. If the Captain and Head Engineer never made up, the story would likely never end- because, well, we tried every other route, and it didn't really end there... So, The Viewer is essential. Mending the friendship is essential. If Dark has any heartstrings pulled, it's probably Damien's... but I think this Dark is rather muddy in his "original" identity by now (plus the addition of the D/A as The Viewer... Damien isn't even getting the chance to talk to the D/A in headspace, I feel like ISWM feels super fast for them all, barely conscious), so it'd be vague and buried. I like the hc that Dark and Warfstache both forget, but Dark remembers a bit more, and he's sentimental, but very reserved about it and would only stop repressing it only around people he trusted. That's a complicated thing, and I think ISWM is not about resolving Dark, but is about resolving the story and nothing else. But you could argue otherwise if you wanted to. Maybe part of him could have been happy.
A silly analogy would be taking a criminal to a class meant for teaching toddlers to play nice, and not letting them argue with the teaching, just teaching them the lesson until they submit and actually succeed to be nice. Then the criminal is let free from the class to do whatever he wants, again. The memory of it might be uncomfortable... or maybe irrelevant, because it could be happening all the time! Maybe this isn't Darkiplier's first rodeo in the multiverse, nor the last. ... I like to think that he explores, since everyone technically can within the illusory world in the House/Mansion. Stuck but free all the same.
Ah... I like to think how ironic it would be if Darkiplier had to go to this universe & possess this body of all possibilities just to get the warp core... It's funny.
The most important aspects of the dynamic to me is the duality of comedy and horror/tragedy, and the anomalous third act is the profound sappiness in the original media that would not at all fit Actor and Dark's dynamic- it's the contrast and impossibility that I love about the situation.
If I had to romanticize them, I think it could be done nonromantically, for the record. I, myself, am not traditional with the genre of romance. I guess I fit into the grey area, and that influences how I think of Darkhenge, as well. I also think the word "romantic" doesn't necessarily have to mean dating, since you can romanticize pretty much anything in life. And I think this AU is a pretty good example of how I can romanticize things! A lot of fiction is a kind of romanticization, but the romanticization doesn't usually indicate what you would feel about it if it happened in real life. So yeah, I think I do a lot of that... A lot of media I read can have villains or dark themes that I will play around with conceptually, knowing that if they were real, I'd hate them. Lol.
I like love stories that go like this. I mentioned Madoka briefly before, and that's honestly my top inspiration to even my own surprise because it nails the nuance perfectly- it's commended as a great Yuri but it's not actually a Yuri, it's just written so well around those two characters that it can be commended as a great story with Yuri characters/undertones in it.
So yes, I like stories like this, and they tend to be best written as love stories... but they don't necessarily have to be love stories. They can just be tragedies... but I think love is an important element when writing about the bigness of life. Whatever form that love might take. So whether it's platonic, romantic, or neither, is none of my concern nor consideration, because it's about something more nuanced, bigger... Everything and nothing is taken into account at once, if that makes sense.
Even some of my Darkhenge art ideas (that haven't yet come to fruition) seem a bit romantic, it's just a grey area. I think I am in love with the AU itself, and that's why... I hope it makes sense why I am in love with it- if not, I'll just keep trying to show why...!!!! ( •̀ ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧
Well, I think I have explained it properly...? Feel free to ask more questions, though. I'm a little sleepy while typing all of this, so I could have missed something.
For the record! If someone shipped my AU characters romantically, I would likely be fine with their headcanons/interpretation, but I encourage them to ask about boundaries if they plan to post about it.
Thank you so much for the question!!! I'm glad someone thought to ask it. :)
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chaoslulled · 1 day ago
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erwin makes the first move.   his hand reaches out and splays against his neck, skin touching skin, palm resting heavy in the nook of his shoulder.
and levi feels like he has come to life for the first time in months.
it feels like neurons finally, finally start to fire again, the feeling of fire filling his veins in a warmth that's like a cresting, crashing wave.   he swallows hard and feels the weight of erwin's palm against his throat  ––  he could press his thumb up against his windpipe, he could steal his air.   he could do all of that and levi would thank him.   that's still the horrible truth that keeps spinning around in his head: erwin could drag a blade into his sternum and he would thank him for the blood that he spills.
the bond is like a fire that keeps twisting embers until they're stoked into large flames that are going to consume him.   there's an ache in his soul that pulls toward erwin, that dances around him and for him, that bends and breaks and that would drop to his knees to worship at his alter if he would let him.   levi can practically feel the moment that his slate eyes dilate, that he looks up at erwin and feels like his world is right again.   it's a simple touch, heat against his skin, and yet levi has to fight back the whimper that attempts to soar up his throat, the words that want to beg erwin for more. 
he has been trying to be more self sufficient, has been trying to pull away from the fabled ackerman bond that still is never confirmed.   he can't exactly ask kenny, and there's nothing in grisha's ledgers about it.   the only way to know any of it would be to cross the sea, to set foot in a place that they hadn't even known existed until recently.   it's not a step that's possible, not yet.   so he has to go with the thrumming of his heart, the feeling in his veins;   the echoes of kenny ackerman and the liege that he had bowed to as well.
erwin cannot keep gambling and expecting it to pay off, just like levi can't keep gambling on a heart that might or might not be his.   but there's a warm touch that echoes against his skin, that presses bond into his own, that steals his air and whispers of promise.   that whispers that terms and conditions aren't a thing, not really  ––  there's something unfathomable that echoes throughout his very being.   a swan song that makes his head both full and empty all at once; he wants to fall to his knees and beg for erwin to keep touching him, to make the ache dissipate away.
tongue presses up against the roof of his mouth.   he has sought so much, has grit his teeth and knelt on a knee, had promised death and couldn't allow himself to go through with it.   he had breathed life back into lungs that hadn't wanted it, but he will never say sorry.   he will never say sorry because he is a thrum of energy, a jolt of electricity that races into veins and makes every inch of him feel as if he is on fire.
erwin is someone who is used to gambling, used to bartering, and now he has been stripped of it as he debates who he will be, breathing and alive as a titan.   he is monster incarnate, he is destruction that thrums in the threshold of this world.   but underneath it, erwin is a good man  ––  he has his own protections because there is so much that he has fought.   there is so much that he has lost.   bargains that have never gone well.
two hearts are an ultimate bargain.   there is nothing to barter for them and it leaves him exposed, a raw nerve.
so levi does the thing that he can  ––  he puts a barter inside of his own palms, lets him drink the nectar of the gods if it means that he'll still be here.   "you get to choose when the third kiss is."
it's a quiet bargain, one that is low stakes; levi had already made peace with it not happening, with having to stare at erwin's unmoving body and realizing that there was nothing there, that this was his new reality tumbling down until he was ready to scream.   but now he gives him something  ––  he gives him the barter of a kiss inside of open palms and the space between them.   levi was promised three but he moves the debt  ––  he gives it to erwin and hopes that the barter will be enough.
the question is a fair one.   levi has spent so much time thinking about what it meant, being given something that he had always wanted but in return he had to watch erwin die.   he has been given life again, but levi has spent so many nights with the chills inside of his body, tossing and turning and gasping because there was something inside of him, something that was ugly as he tries to shake through the desperation inside of him. 
but erwin has come back.   erwin has found him, has watched him and given him the warmth of a touch, feeling the fever that raced through his skin.   erwin and him have fought and were desperate for touch, desperate for something more, but they had kept themselves removed  ––  there was a bite throughout the two of them; two colliding forces that were still learning how to land. 
levi allows his teeth to run along his bottom lip for just a moment.   there's something that hangs in the air between the two of them, a soft thrum that levi knows  ––  there's a turning point, something that makes gravity feel too heavy and too light at the same time. 
erwin is fair in his question. 
"who said i didn't believe you?"   the voice that comes from him is quiet, is meant just for him; they are no longer captain and commander, but two lost soldiers who are finally trying to find footing no matter how much they keep slipping.   he swallows hard and steps forward more, takes erwin's hands and laces their fingers together, presses palms until they are flushed. 
"how could i not believe you when you came back?"   thumb runs along his knuckles for a long moment before he makes a decision, lets his own gamble play across the board.  
he lets his hands go in favor of wrapping his arms around his waist, pressed flush against him as his ear presses against his heartbeat, the sure, steady thump of it moving sluggishly with his own pulse. 
"you're mind, no matter if you're human, monster, titan, war general.   you're erwin, and nothing will change that."   for the first time in weeks, he feels like his body is eased, like the constant chill that echos in his spine has finally relented from a harsh winter and has finally moved into spring.
erwin is someone who adores the gamble, who likes to move chess pieces one at a time, taking at least ten minutes between moves. he keeps an opponent waiting, tries their patience, waits to identify the type of players that know how to die more than once. these players are the ones that can sever themselves from lifetimes & make themselves comfortable & wait for blood to spill. they are the ones like him.
they are separate from those from those who fight for survival when cornered, the ones that believe that death happens only once.
erwin remembers watching levi’s fist clench at his knee, remembers seeing the clench of his jaw that he agreed to a game that he never enjoyed ( & that erwin had never enjoyed either ).
erwin is someone who adores the gamble. even if he takes at least ten minutes between moves, he doesn’t need ten minutes. he doesn’t need two minutes. he gambles on intuition.
though he accumulates mountains of relative successes & relative devastation, he supposes he’s a terrible a gambler.
intuition is based on old knowledge. it is based on how the body has pressed old knowledge into itself. it is not a gamble of chance, & it is not gamble of luck.
erwin adores the gamble, & he’s a terrible gamble because it surprises him what he has managed.
no matter how good his intuition may be, it surprises him that he had accomplished the position of commander. the first time he died had been in youth, when he learned that impulses have consequences, that wants have consequences, that uninhibited tongues draw blood.
the second time he died had been when he understood that grief alone is not enough to equip a man for carnage. the scouts made carnage. he adapted.
the third time he died had been because he earned it, because he identified humanity’s strength & made gambles with strategy. because he started sawing away at himself, severing himself. he became a man who knew that he could die multiple times.
levi had been there for that, & levi had hated him. he hadn’t been sure how to recognize the humanity in erwin.
levi is the kind of man that survives when cornered. he savors oxygen in his lungs, & he can’t help but the sun even when he comes from underground spaces.
he is the type of man who will endure, & there’s a part of erwin that is certain who is certain that he will never die.
it’s a strange juxtiposition in the face of now, when erwin has learned to die again & be resurrected. it has been asked of him that he perform as frankenstein’s monster & to come back damning himself over & over again.
it has been asked of him to fit the godhood of colossal against his chest. unconsciously, to do so, he scraped clean the cavity of his chest. to fit the godhood of colossal, he had to shake hands & know that consequent carnage is part of a same story.
levi is a part of a same story. even while they circle around each other. even while they keep learning how to force a reflection from foils. even while they keep learning to sink into orbit & learn that gravity sometimes means distance.
there’s an artform about it. they had only grown into their artistry sometime around erwin’s third death, when he had been preparing to be named commander. the noose had not yet been tightened, then.
it did not happen overnight that erwin realized he didn’t know how to breath anymore. the noose was too tight. it did not happen overnight that he invited those close to him to help tie the knot.
every death that erwin has given himself had been by his own design. for this he can hold himself accountable. he can accept this.
it is a harder to ask that others who positioned a rope against his neck forgive that he has asked them to ruin.
this is the context that concocted his & levi’s gravity. this is the proof of valleys between them, the reason why they had to forge an artform so that they could stay close.
at present, staying close isn’t enough to erase the distance.
erwin still feels the distance.
he scraped clean the cavity of his chest. he finds himself conscious of consequent scar tissue. it tightens against his throat too. a second noose. it almost chokes a laugh from him.
it’s possible he’s meant for purgatory. it’s only in purgatory that he thinks that he & levi could circle terms & conditions a million times & never come to resolution.
every time levi hears terms & conditions, it makes him think of hanging the noose & restraint.
every time levi hears terms & conditions, he refuses to hear the reasons that erwin had set them. of course erwin loves levi, erwin had said. how could he not.
erwin has orchestrated his own ruin. he has died many times, & he knows the space between them — he does not have to wonder why levi has asked anything of him.
it makes a contradiction of erwin, dead or alive. for a woodman, he is uninhibited. for a tarnished man, he is unconflicted.
how could he not love levi ? there is nothing to stop him from loving without apology & without uncertainty. although his expression may be filtered, there is nothing to stop the magnitude of feeling with which he had tried to offer kindness that day in a woodroom, when he had answered a request for honesty with the confession that he had always had selfish interests.
there is nothing to stop the magnitude of feeling with which he had met levi that night on the rooftop. there had been selfish kisses & shared table wine. he had allowed levi to see him unbalanced by something so small as a missing arm.
there is nothing to stop the magnitude of feeling with which he had come here tonight. he is still unbalanced.
despite that, it is the magnitude of feeling that leaves him swallowing rocks & unfair sourness. it is one thing for levi to doubt erwin’s capacity ( dead or alive ) to love.
if levi surrenders this & steps closer to him, if he stands toe to toe with erwin & tries to offer him his humanity in the palm of his hand - then it provides something different.
it is one thing to doubt erwin’s capacity to love. it is another thing to doubt magnitude. you're a fool if you think that i ever actually cared about what you had to barter, erwin.
erwin appreciates the sentiment. his breath catches in a type of huffed laughter or gratitude. he’s unsure.
he stand to toe to toe with levi, & levi looks tired too. there is too much tension gripping at his jaw from a habit built over days, months years. his skin is still too grey, & erwin isn’t sure that levi has ever worn his age as much he has recently.
it’s possible erwin is meant for purgatory. terms & conditions had existed because of the magnitude of feeling. terms & conditions had existed because erwin had bartered self-restraint & kindnesses & the human things that levi has always kept close, kept warm. it’s the unique positioning of a man who doesn’t sever. who hasn’t known how to sever, how die multiple times.
terms & conditions had been the last thing that erwin had tried to do humanely. hnow is throat keeps closing, & he has little more to barter because of it.
levi ( inhibited, conflicted ) gave him unconditional loyalty & had conditional love because of it.
erwin ( uninhibited, unconflicted ) had offered levi conditional loyalty & unconditional love.
the ability to barter had mattered. it had mattered because he has grown to adore the gambling with intuition & known things. it had mattered because he never expected good things anyway.
it had mattered. it was a part of the magnitude of feeling.
‘ in truth, you should have cared about what i had to barter, ‘ he allows once. because terms & conditions were something that he tried to communicate. because in purgatory, there are gambles that never amount.
erwin is bruised eyes & dead man & a husk not come to life. levi prods him in the chest, & erwin is grateful for it.
he keeps swallowing rocks & sour things. he appreciates levi’s familiarity. he appreciates the challenge at the lilt of levi’s lips, & the way that he promises that he is still reliable.
the artform erwin & levi have developed ( circling around one another ) is still reliable.
erwin has nothing more to barter so he raises his hand & breaches distance. his fingers splay alongside levi’s neck to the bridge of his shoulder. the magnitude of what he feels turns loud, & he knows he has gambled.
levi has been betting on a heart for far longer than he has ever fully realized, but he hasn’t bet on magnitude.
erwin knows. & still, he appreciates. & still, he feels himself settle at levi’s familiarity, feels himself collapse.
he had come here tonight because he had been outside of himself. he can handle living, he can handle death, & he is poor equipped for purgatory.
‘ i know, ‘ he says & concedes too much resignation & doesn’t promise an end. this is the context that concocted their gravity. of course erwin loves levi, he says. how could he not.
levi had never requested his third kiss.
erwin could kiss him now, but it’s terrifying to think about kissing like a dead man.
‘ i know, ‘ erwin says & concedes again. the palm of his hand against levi’s neck tenses & betrays him.
this is the first time that levi manages to see how a man dies & comes back to life. it’s the first time that levi has seen him in transition.
& still. levi chooses to trust him. levi still chooses him, even if he should have considered what erwin had to barter.
it’s a funny thing. because the way they gravitate towards one another changes history. because it immediately influences how erwin will evolve.
‘ have you have thought about what you’ll do if you can never manage to believe me ? ‘
he muses because it decides third kisses, future kisses. it informs the demands to which erwin will try to evolve.
the tips of their boots touch. levi’s breath splays against his cheek.
still, he is uncertain how to handle the distance between them. how to use the gamble between them for evolution.
he is uncertain, a dead man made whole again when he didn't ask to be stitched back together.
but god, levi has injected him with life.
he is still struggling to swallow it. he is here asking for help.
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pepperpixel · 4 months ago
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Yadda yadda yadda jinx is generally seen as a loose canon, does whatever she wants type of character, totally unpredictable. When in actuality, up until the last few episodes all of her choices and actions r motivated by wanting to please someone else. Hell. Even in the last couple episodes, the very Last thing we see her doing is ENTIRELY MOTIVATED by devotion and love and grief for silco, she’s taking out her frustration at herself and the world, and also honoring his wishes and dreams. By shooting a fucking bomb at piltover, she’s ensuring his life wasn’t in vain, she’s honoring him. In that moment
Her entire, self!!! is centered around love and loyalty. Is centered around other people, She’s motivated by an insatiable urge to prove herself, to be useful to those she loves, to show that she can help them and be there for them and be WORTHY of there love. That they haven’t made a mistake in loving her. To prove that she can be as pivotal to them as they r for her. She goes to the ends of the fucking earth to do this. And it ends. Terribly.
She puts the people she loves on pedestals and supplicates at there feet, she has no motivations most of the show outside of making the people she loves happy… she yearns for connection and love and safety. For a home that will never leave her behind, or crumble under her feet, (an indestructible home, That she can’t destroy just by being her…)
Which is why.. it’s so. Interesting and intriguing. How now, she has no one on that pedestal to worship, no one to drag sacrifices and offerings to the feet of, no one to spiral around and build herself off of. She is a person so *affected* by her relationships w others, but there is no relationship now, no one is stepping up to the plate to love her. She’s too much. For anyone. The one person who seemed to have unlimited patience for her is dead, because of her. and maybe vi could still love her.. but. She’s already soured that relationship. Already broken that one too. Broken all her favorite toys that made her so happy. That were there for her. And scared all the rest away. (There is a limit to what vi can support and forgive to reconnect w her sister. And I believe terrorism is crossing that limit ghgh)
And maybe, jinx is cutting that part of herself out on purpose. To be stronger, she’s realized she just. Isn’t made for love. That she ruins it all in the end. That it just makes everything worse. Messier. More complicated. She’s better off on her own, but for what PURPOSE! Who will she be now! What choices will she make!?! Almost all of her actions in the show were for others, what is driving her now, now that she has this gaping void at the center of her being. Where love used to be… what kind of person will she become, Without a guide to follow… a sun to orbit around. it’s sad honestly ghghg-!!! like yeah it’s not healthy that she is this way but there’s no THERAPY IN ARCANE. THIS IS THE WAY SHE IS! And now. She’s alone… it’s rough. But also intriguing…!! And I honestly have no clue how she’s gonna act in season 2,,, or what sorta shit she’s gonna get up to. but I’m excited.
#arcane#jinx#arcane jinx#jinx arcane#pepper words#sorry for waxing philosophical about jinx’s mental state I just. WANTED TO#she is so tragic to me…#and I see a lot of myself in her. albeit. like. since there’s no therapy she’s just deteriorated#but. idk. seeing a character like hers portrayed in fiction. and so accurately and like.. painfully#it’s cathartic#??? and I wanted to talk about her lol. leave me alone#ok now I gotta get ready for work lol#sOMEBODY GET THIS GIRL SOME THERAPY#but also DONT. cuz it’s cathartic to see the worst thoughts tendencies and feelings of myself come to life so unapologetically in her#like… it’s. nice to see somebody go apeshit like this. when ur own brain and desire to live a normal happy life prevents u from going#apeshit urself.. jinx is raw and unfiltered pain and misery being taken out on the world and I love that about her… but#I also want her to be happy.. and. I don’t. actually think going apeshit will make her happy… in the end ghghg-#but I will still always support her going apeshit regardless. like u go girl! this might end up fucking u up worse then u already were#but if u wanna do something fucking do it girl! don’t let shit like laws or morals hold u back..#edit: I WANT to edit the bit about supplicatting cuz it was mostly jus me trying to be wordy but.#so I realized I was projecting too hard lol. jinx is willing to snap and go against and put pressure on her fav ppl#mostly for possessive reasons ghgg- but! yeah that parts kinda innacurate for her#other bits of this might be innacurate too! this is just me thinking out loud lol I don’t claim to be a jinx expert.#merely a jinx appreciator…
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wreckedhoney · 7 months ago
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MASSIVE SPOILER for one of the endings.
it's been a while since i tried looking, but i did hear that something like this happens last year and over time started to think, "was it a fluke?" bc no one posted footage or caps of it then, and i aimed for a completionist run in my first playthrough. turns out it's real! and definitely shines a new light on a character that, for most other types of playthroughs, will not give this much emotion! EDIT: transcript now included, and some stillshots under the cut
[0:28] Marie: Henry, this is the man who kept you from doing the right thing tonight. Kill him. [0:15] Forrest: Henry, you don’t have to do this. If you’ve not killed anyone yet, there’s still time to make the right decision. [0:05] Out of shot: (Gunshots) Henderson Police! Freeze! Marie: No! Henry, get out of there!
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#killer frequency#henry barrow#these hands………#so yes MORE spoilers and further commentary ahead here in the tags:#yes this is a fairly tragic ending if you already know how to get it. but again TERRIFIC VOICE ACTING BEFOREHAND AND AFTER.#feel free to reply in post if you want to ask about that part.#i didn't include that in the vid bc it's so visceral and raw but i love their performances. that shit hit hard dang.#but i want to ask anyone if their perspective on henry changes after seeing this? mine does tbh. i didn't expect a possible show of remorse#like at most hesitation! but bc of the context of forrest's dialogue- does it lean into remorse? a large definite shift in his mind!#even if he Has killed already then he's still taking forrest's words to heart and reconsidering everything which DAMN-#-my videogamey headcanon of forrest's character stats showing his Persuasion and Charm MAXED OUT is pulling tf through here!!#also can anyone reply re: would forrest's dialogue change but he still survives if henry kills maurice or murphy? or would forrest die?#and if the devs Actually gave henry other official kills in the game but didn't disclose them in the narrative- then is this the test?#like if henry kills AT ALL in game even though the player isn't privy to knowing which victims are his then is this ending unattainable?#also placing this scene/character moment behind THIS ENDING SPECIFICALLY heck that's cold. dang fellas.#going to eventually pull out a hc i've been holding back for a long time in a later post and i'll mention this scene again then-#-but this part in particular as well as another “easter egg” has really put more fuel to it
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mossboys · 1 year ago
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i’ve been trying to stay off social media in general but honestly nothing has radicalized me like this has. i think about it constantly. i’ve never been on the verge of tears almost constantly because of anything in the news before
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rengineer · 14 hours ago
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Engie's head was a foggy mess, sounds around him muffled as though he were submerged underwater. The dim hum of Soldier’s voice reached him, though it felt distant, barely breaking through the haze. But the warmth of the soldier's hand grounded him, rough callouses grazing his unshaven chin — a small, solid anchor in the fog. Then, with surprising care, he felt fingers slip under his goggles, lifting them away with such gentleness he'd never have expected from the big oaf. Forcing his eyes open, the daylight stabbed at him, too bright, but he managed to focus long enough to take in the patriot’s face.
And then he saw it: Soldier's face, raw and unguarded, helmet clattering to the ground beside them. It was surreal, as if all the blood he'd lost had come rushing back just for this one vivid, final image. The man's jawline was hard, etched with tension, and his gaze was intense, an edge of worry Dell hadn't seen before.
A weak chuckle rose in his throat, though it came out more like a wheeze, barely a breath, as though even his laughter knew how ridiculous this was. He wanted to tell Soldier to get the hell out, to defend the point, to quit wasting his time here. There were more important things to do than fuss over an old 'grease monkey' bleeding out on the floor. But Soldier, so damn stubborn, so unwilling to leave him behind — even though Engie was just one of many, a man who'd been put back together by respawn more times than he cared to remember. With the last ounce of strength he could muster, Dell reached up, fingers trembling as they brushed against Soldier’s cheek. The touch was barely a graze, but it was all he had left to give.
" Y'stupid boy… " he murmured, each word clawing its way out of a place deep inside him, " 's just respawn… nothin' more. "
He'd repeated it a thousand times to himself, convincing himself that death was meaningless in Teufort. But the words rang hollow now, echoing against the emptiness in his chest. Respawn didn’t ease the weight of the memories — the strange, fractured feeling that lingered, even if his body returned unscathed. No Medic checkup could scrub away the toll it took on his mind.
Sometimes, he swore he could still feel the ghosts of old wounds, see his skin warped and twisted, smell the char of flesh that'd been burned off, regrown, and burned again. He'd caught glimpses of his own limbs mangled in ways that made him cringe, nightmares looping back. He'd let it happen, he'd let the scene play and do nothing to stop them.
" Welp, s'that happened. "
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Soldier's plea hung in the air.
Dell didn’t respond.
cw. death His eyelids felt heavy, and he let them fall shut, his hand slipping back to his side, too exhausted to keep up the effort. But in that final stretch, he felt… peace. Maybe, he thought, an angel had been sent for him after all, one clad in dusty combat boots, armed to the teeth with rocket launchers. For once, as the world bled into darkness, he didn’t feel alone. For once, he felt truly seen.
[ @rengineer ] " Y'know son, all that shoutin' might just be scarin' the bolts outta my machines. "
HA! SCARING BOLTS! I NEVER KNEW I WAS EVEN ABLE TO MAKE BOLTS SCARED, BUT NOW I DO, AND I WILL SCREAM AT THEM UNTIL THEY LEARN TO STAY IN PLACE!
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void-and-virtue · 11 months ago
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OP I LOVED UR ANDREIL POST GOING CRAZY THINKING ABOUT IT if you have anything else in that amazing brain of yours on this take please do share because i absolutely LOVED how you articulated this aspect about andreil. its something i particularily appreciate about their dynamic and relationship with anger and Their Issues TM. your post will cross my mind whenever ill think about it from now on.
I don’t think I have ever gotten an ask and this is kind of making me go insane??? I hope you know that you made my day and also, I’m so glad people share in my endless brainrot bc when it comes to this series and these characters I simply cannot stop
It really isn’t nearly talked about enough that the thing that got Andrew to actually look at Neil and become interested was (as cited by Neil himself at some point tho I can’t remember in which book that scene is from the top of my head) Neil’s bone-deep jealousy of Kevin. It’s—it ties into that whole epiphany that Neil has at some point, when he looks at Andrew and realizes that while he is hurtling towards his own breaking point and about to burn out and shatter into something he’s not sure he’d recognize if he survived the encounter, Andrew hit that point and broke from it years ago. And that’s an understanding that goes both ways between them—in a fucked up way, it feels like Andrew might be the future that Neil has waiting for him if he doesn’t end the year six feet under: hollow and drifting, passionless after everything he had to rip away from himself to be able to survive. At the same time, Neil probably reminds Andrew of how he used to be, back when he had hope for things only to have that hope rip him apart—which is exactly where Neil seems to be headed for the majority of the story.
I think that a lot of Andrew’s understanding of Neil comes from the fact that he knows intimately what it feels like to be caught between a rock and a hard place and cut his own lifeline, only to then fail to die on impact. Neil hasn’t had to resort to that yet, but he is hanging by a thread. You’d think that watching him struggle would only serve to drive it home for Andrew that he made the right choice in closing himself off, except… well. His expectations of life and the people in it are so bleak, it’s no wonder he finds himself drawn to Neil’s messy emotions and every unexpected show of spine like a moth to a flame.
Neil, for all of his issues and scars, can still feel things—can still want something so badly it defies all logic. Can want something with such visceral, fucked-up intensity that it resonates where it shouldn’t. It’s an ability that Andrew thinks he’s either lost or cut out of himself to stay somewhat safe, sane and alive a long time ago, but that remains as the most fundamental crack in the foundation of his being. It’s a fascination that seems to come out every time he’s sober and eventually ties into him wanting Neil—wanting something worth wanting and putting a name to it once he finds it. They look at each other and don’t want a watered-down version of the person in front of them. It creates a relationship that embraces issues big and small and accepts (even values!) the messy parts of being human. It means that any space shared between them immediately becomes safe once they settle into something comfortable together. The way they handle the uglier sides of each other’s personality honestly makes me feral because it’s always done with understanding and acceptance and they even find positives or comforts there that the other can’t see and that’s probably a reason for why 1) their chemistry is so off the charts and 2) their relationship is so damn healthy (in addition to their communication being stupidly good when it comes to each other).
Andrew wants something real and Neil wants to be real. And then they get to have exactly that.
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suguann · 8 months ago
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When you first introduce him, Simon instantly knows that he hates your now ex-boyfriend—especially after he broke up with you only two months into the relationship, and the reason behind it sets his teeth on edge.
You’re perfect and so sweet; how could he—
“He broke up with me because…I um…Do I really have to say it? It’s embarrassing.” 
He bumps his knee into yours because he really fucking sucks at saying the right thing when the moment calls for it. “You don’t have to say anything.”
With a huff, you get a little flustered and glance down into your glass of beer, brows furrowed. “I couldn’t make him fit.” 
It’s so soft, but he hears it as if you’d shouted it across the bar.
The only thought he can think of is that your ex-boyfriend is an idiot once he has your back pressed up against his chest and trembling thighs spread over top of his. Three of his thick fingers already work deep inside of you, filling the room with filthy squelching sounds and your breathy moans.
His thumb carefully drags over your clit, loving how you twitch in his arms. “See? Someone just needed to stretch your little pussy properly, huh?”
“Mhm.” You nod, pressing yourself further into him, thighs butterflying open. “It feels so good.”
“You’re so loose and wet. I bet my cock would slip right in.”
Your walls clench and flutter around him, and it takes everything in him not to toss you onto the bed and fuck you into his sheets. “Simon, can you fuck me? Please?” 
It’s hard to deny you when you ask so sweetly, but he can’t give you what you want—not yet. You whine when he pulls one of his fingers out, but it cuts off into a surprised squeak when he grabs your smaller hand to bring it between your thighs. 
“Put one of your fingers inside your pussy.”
You turn your head to look up at him, kiss-bitten lips pulled into a pout. “But—”
“Come on, love, be good for me.” Teeth nip your jaw as a warning. “I know you can be so good for me.”
Slowly, you ease your finger in beside his with little pants of his name. His cock jumps against your back as he watches your cunt open up to suck in the intrusion—it makes his stomach twist. Simon traps your finger between his and curls them alongside his inside you, tearing a sharp cry from your chest.
“You’re so gorgeous.” His words are raw, rumbling somewhere deep within his chest. “I’m gonna make you feel so good. So full. Better than your boyfriend ever could.”
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Masterlist
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mommypieck · 10 months ago
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⌗︙・asking them to put on a condom ⸜⸜・
jjk & aot
this can't be happening to him, it's just a joke you're playing on him. he can feel his eye twitching at your words but he mouth says, "okay, no problem." why don't you want him to fuck you raw? do you not trust him? he almost cries when he sinks into your pussy with the rubber around his cock. he can't even enjoy this. the only reason he's staying hard is because he loves you. it's so much discomfort for him. but if you want it, he's not gonna say anything. he just hopes you will let him cum on your body and not into the condom. he won't let his cum go to waste. this is for you happiness and he's not happy. he quickly pulls out to cum on your stomach, but he has a trick up his sleeve.he gathers some of it on his fingers to push it right into you.
- yuuji, gojo, eren, jean, yuuta
"i wouldn't mind if something happened." and by that he means he doesn't mind if you got pregnant. are you saying he has to fuck you with condom just so you don't get pregnant? is that what you mean? he knew the risk ever since you started fucking and that's the thing that drove him to fuck you good and hard. he's trembling at the thought of you carrying his children. people fuck to reproduce and he's one of the people. he doesn't have the motivation to fuck you now that he's wearing a condom. you can't get pregnant now. he's trying so hard to think that he's sliding bare against your walls. that he's doing this he can plant his seed inside of you. he cums with a disgusted whine, all of the cum is in the condom and you're not getting pregnant. he's gonna make sure to cut off the top so he can cum inside the next time.
- reiner, geto, choso, armin, erwin
"okay." he says, it's not a problem. you feel good no matter how. and asking for condom only shows that you are not reckless and care about your heath.
- nanami, megumi, levi
no
- toji
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eloquentlytired · 2 months ago
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Logan with a breeding kink fic? 😉
18+ mdni
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— raw.
pairing: logan howlett x fem reader
word count: less than 900
tags: unprotected sex — breeding — logan is feral — just filthy smut — risky sex — dom/sub undertones
author’s note: hi anon I hope this was a good read for you. logan having a breeding kink is so incredibly canon honestly
ৎৎৎ
“lo.” you moan as you lie facedown on the bed, legs straight, hips slightly raised. logan enters you from behind and the way he stretches you in this position has you whimpering. one of his large hands puts weight on your head and forces you to bury it against the bedsheets as you sob beneath him. his other hand stays on your middle to kind of support himself as he fucks you, driving his veiny cock into your deepest parts. the bed creaks beneath your moving bodies but you don't seem to care. logan grunts as he feels your pussy clenching around his cock, coating it too with your arousal. “still taking your pills like a good girl?” the shake of your head makes his hips slow down and gradually stop. you tilt your head at an awkward angle to stare at him and he stares back. “w—we ran out.” you whisper, voice still laced with arousal and need. logan weighs his options as his eyes drift downwards where his cock is completed soaked by your wetness and even his pubic hair drip with the doings of your pussy. his bare cock twitches inside you and you moan. “not safe,lo. let's just—”
there's not much you can do in this position when logan starts thrusting again. you take what he gives you and your eyes roll back when the fat head of his cock kisses your sweet spot, making your entire body shake all over. tears of pleasure slide down your cheeks and he leans down to kiss a tender spot on your shoulder before biting down. he grounds his hips in circles and you almost scream. “there— there,lo.” you beg him and he repeats the motion again and again. when your pussy tightens around him as you cum, logan growls into your shoulder and you can sense him growing more feral over you. your hands grip onto the bedsheets for dear life as you drool and cry against the mattress. logan drives his cock faster inside you and a few more thrusts later he fills you up, leaning the weight of his lower body on yours that his cock nudges impossible places within you. it makes you squirm and logan offers you a reassuring kiss as he pants against your shoulder, trying to process the raw feel of your walls around his bare girth.
“fuck.” you hear him curse minutes later and when you look back, your eyes widen. logan slips his softening cock out of your pussy and watches as his own come drips out and over your cunt. you exchange a silent and long stare and then logan is moving you again. you don't know what's happening or why but you're about to.
you've lost count and you've also lost any sanity left for the time being. you drag a hand over your belly as logan pumps his load inside you again, making your thighs shake from where they sit atop his own. you're laying on your back this time while he gets comfortable between your spread legs, breeding you until the late hours. “one last time. I swear,baby.” he lies through his teeth again and you allow it. logan slips his hands underneath your legs and shoves them back until your knees are nearly touching your chest. his cock is still hard and leaking — he'd really done it this time — and he wants to blame your bare cunt for wrapping around his cock so perfectly. you're tired and your pussy feels a little sore but you can't help but reach a wandering hand to your clit and rub it as logan fucks you mercilessly. his balls are heavy and drag against you with each shallow thrust. your entire body shakes and your other hand remains atop your stomach; you're full, so full, and your toes curl when you think about how much of logan’s seed you've stored in your womb.
“lo—” you're letting go again, your entire body spasming as your fingers shake against your swollen clit. logan’s eyes narrow when he watches you squirt beneath him and one of his hands is moving down to toy with your pussy, his fingers moving past yours and past your clit to tease the source of your squirt. it makes you cry and nearly scream. logan feels his balls tighten and before you know it he's already giving it to you again, spilling everything inside your pussy to make it full. to make his seed take place. “lo.” by the time you call for him he's already slipping a hand around your nape, clutching it, while his other hand joins your own on top of your stomach.
your lips meet and logan soothes you. “so pretty, so sweet. you took so much in ya, princess.” and his whispers make you tremble even more as you kiss him back slowly. his kisses are nothing like the way he fucks you; they're slow, patient and gentle. logan hums into your mouth as you wrap your arms around his neck. his fingers flex upon your stomach, even doing so much as squeeze it. he loves it. “how ‘bout we forget about those pills?” logan growls.
his cock doesn't stay soft for long and when his hand presses into your tummy possessively, you know exactly what awaits you.
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spicysucculentz · 11 months ago
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sappho was so real
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sukunasweetheart · 2 months ago
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scummy ex-boyfriend sukuna...
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warnings!!! dark content, noncon breeding, dubcon, sukuna ties your hands together, baby trapping, toxic, possessive and jealous sukuna, manipulative tendencies and mentions of violence (not towards reader), oral (f!receiving)
divider by @/saradika-graphics
3.8k words
scummy ex-boyfriend sukuna who'd always coax you into fucking him bareback without a condom because he swears it feels better...
being so sweet, seducing you into letting him hit it raw, doing whatever it takes to put you in a good mood, get you hot and bothered so you can't deny him for long, swearing that he'd pull out, and that you'd have nothing to worry about...
but scummy ex-boyfriend sukuna who never kept his word. he'd fuck you silly and cum deep into your womb, even though he promised he wouldn't. you wanted to stop him, but you were feeling too good in the moment to fight him off. when you confront him about it afterwards, he simply tells you "my bad, sweetheart. i didn't mean to, but you just felt too good..."
he gets high off the feeling of cumming inside you.
scummy ex-boyfriend sukuna who secretly wished he could fuck you pregnant with his seed. but you told him you didn't want a baby, which he disappoints him, though he may not show it. he wants to see your belly swell up with his child, and to suck on your sweet milk when your tits start leaking. fuck, just the thought of it had made him get hard.
scummy ex-boyfriend sukuna who didn't take you seriously when you broke it off with him. you could see it in his eyes sometimes, the way he seemed eerily quiet when your pregnancy tests turned out with only one line. you felt glad you'd taken those birth control pills behind his back. but you decided enough was enough. you loved him, but you just didn't want to have a child with him.
scummy ex-boyfriend sukuna who didn't even seem phased by the break up. he believed he could coax you back to him again, given with some time. you are his, and nothing will change that. when he sees you around, he shamelessly flirts with you and tries to convince you to come back to him, telling you that he misses you dearly. there are times when he almost succeeds, only because you do miss him sometimes too.
a few weeks into the break up, you truthfully, begin to feel a little sexually frustrated. you don't recall having such a high sex drive before getting with sukuna, but he seems to have permanently altered your body, the way he used to pleasure you so good...
you gather some friends and head into a club, and try to forget about him.
at the club, you re-familiarise yourself with the smell of alcohol in the air, the music that hurts your eardrums, and the crowd of people all around you, wherever you went. it's been a while since you've been here, because you had been with sukuna for over two years now.
an hour or two passes, and you've gotten yourself fairly tipsy at the bar now.
you sync yourself up with the music, but a familiar figure catches your attention from the second floor of the club, afar. it's sukuna. but he's not looking at you.
he's standing with his ex-girlfriend - the one that had gotten hysterical with you after she'd found out about your relationship with him. your mood plummets, for some reason.
you're the one that broke up with him. it shouldn't matter what he's up to after that. liar. you told me you missed me. you try to ignore him, and continue drinking yourself drunk, the edges of your vision already swimming.
sukuna's at the club, only because a friend of his snitched on you and told him that you were out here somewhere. he didn't think he'd meet yorozu, out of everyone it could've been.
"hi, ryo. i heard you'd finally broken up with that girl?" she asks sweetly, standing as close to him as possible.
sukuna gives her a deadpan stare.
"broken up? says who?"
"well, everyone. don't tell me you're pathetically clinging onto her now? that's not like you."
"i'm not you. now get lost, i'm busy."
yorozu grabs his hand, stopping him from walking away.
"wait! i just wanna tell you..."
she continues talking, but his attention has already drifted elsewhere, as his eyes pan toward the crowd downstairs. now...where are you? when he does manage to find you in the crowd downstairs, he doesn't like what he sees. that's an understatement. he hates it.
you're swaying your hips with some other bastard, making out with him on the dance floor.
"damn- you're so fuckin' hot," the stranger chuckles against the shell of your ear, your arms around his neck.
"am i really?" you respond giggling, clearly intoxicated.
"yeah, you are... why don't you come home with me?"
"hmmm? sure, why not? 'm single now, anyway," you mumble, your feet now beginning to stumble. you're starting to miss him again.
"broke up with your boyfriend, did you? poor thing."
"i'll help you feel better." the man grins and helps you walk outside of the club.
on his way out however, he bumps into someone of a large frame. he's all tatted up, and his gaze is holding a mean glare as he stares down at him. he holds out his hand to him, like he's asking for something.
"hand her over, and i won't beat you to death."
oh. he must be the ex. that was enough for the man to quietly place your body into sukuna's arms and exit the club.
tch, he's as spineless as he looks.
sukuna handles your limp body with care, your breath pungent with the smell of alcohol. he's irritated to no end right now, and a vein is bulging from his forehead, but he safely carries you to his car.
outside, the man thinks he's clear of danger, and decides he's had enough for the night. but, someone's heavy arm comes down around his shoulders suddenly.
"hey. you're the one that played it too close with sukuna's girl? how unlucky of you," a man with a scar on his lip talks nonchalantly.
he gets dragged into a nearby alleyway.
"don't take it personally. i got paid to do this."
the man shrieks as he gets beaten to a pulp, just enough so it hurts like hell, but not enough to kill him. sukuna likes to keep his word.
meanwhile... you're taken to your own home. he found the keys to your house in your purse. sukuna tucks you into your own bed, and even dresses you into your own pajamas. and then...
he just leaves.
-
the next morning - you don't remember a thing. you're left feeling confused, wondering how you managed to get home and how you were even sober enough to get yourself dressed. the only thing you can recall is seeing sukuna with his ex, and then making out with some random guy on the dance floor. everything else is blacked out.
you ask your friends, but they were also too busy getting wasted to know what happened to you. but you feel fine physically, so you brush the incident off.
now the only thing bothering you... sukuna hasn't contacted you again ever since you witnessed him and yorozu talking. so he must've gone back to her. that makes you feel... irritated. upset. sad, even. even though you wanted to break things off first.
you slowly start getting back to your normal daily life again, although with a heavy heart. only change is, that you can't seem to find your birth control pills, wherever you last put them. you contemplate for a moment, wondering whether you should buy a new pack, but you end up shrugging it off, knowing that you won't really need them in the meantime anyway...
you're trying to get back into what life was like before you met sukuna. falling back into bad diet habits, staring at your phone, going back and forth between unblocking and blocking sukuna's number - wondering if he's texted you again in the meantime - but of course, there is nothing new.
he may have had his toxic traits, but you knew he loved you a lot... he cooked you wonderful meals and spoiled you with gifts and knew how to make you orgasm until you couldn't speak. and he was tender with you, even though he teased you a lot.
and now, you're back to using toys to satisfy yourself... it's always like this! you start thinking about him and your hand begins to wander down - you can only hope that you'll eventually lose these feelings soon.
you decide to head out and go on a shopping spree alone, to distract yourself from your thoughts and maybe lift your spirits up.
spending a lot of money for yourself always feels nice. you're buying a lot of cute clothes, accessories and food, jumping between shop to shop. the sun sets rather quickly, and by now, you're at your final stop, mulling over whether this expensive, but beautiful bracelet and necklace set is worth buying. your impulse gets the better of you and you ask for it to be packaged for you.
you reach for your wallet to pay with your card, but someone's familiar voice rings out beside you as he approaches.
"i'll pay for the set." sukuna already has his credit card out, and is handing it to the store clerk, using a tone that makes him difficult to question.
"...sukuna?" you say quizzically, his name slipping from your lips without thinking.
the clerk scans his card, and your items are already paid for.
"what are you doing here..." you ask him, with mixed feelings running around in the pit of your stomach.
"missed me?" he asks with a smirk, very naturally taking your multiple shopping bags from your hand. "i just happened to be in the area."
you're not sure if you believe him. just when you're about to ask him something again, he guides you out of the store with his hand on your shoulder.
"i thought you got back with your ex," you say, taking your bags back from his hand. "i'm sure she'll be upset if she sees you here with me."
"what? where did you get that nonsense from?" he seems genuinely confused.
"i saw you at the club, by coincidence. you were talking with her."
oh... he didn't realise you'd noticed him back there.
"oh, sweetheart... that was a coincidence. i wasn't planning on meeting her. did you really believe that i'd get back with that woman?"
you shouldn't be feeling relieved to such an extent... but your shoulders loosen up after hearing that.
"well... you stopped contacting me after i last saw you with her. of course i'd start believing it."
"oh? i thought you had my number blocked. were you anticipating my texts? you missed me, after all." sukuna leans in closer to you, smiling cockily.
you should have just kept your mouth shut...
"i'll take you home. you have a lot of luggage, no?" sukuna offers, taking your bags back from your hand.
you bite the inside of your cheek. you know you're supposed to decline here. but you let your feelings get the best of you... and end up letting him lead you to his car.
he was supposed to just quickly drop you off home.
"you have a lot of stuff. i'll help you carry it home," sukuna gave his excuse, with something more sly hiding in his eyes. you know exactly what he wants. but when he insists so strongly, you can't deny him. like the fool you are.
you unlock your door and he comes inside to put your bags down on the floor at the entrance. and as you had expected, he doesn't leave right away. instead, he looks down at you with a coy smile, while you return the gaze with a more standoffish one. the tension feels thick and heavy as neither of you speak for a moment.
"well? i'm sure you didn't let me in without knowing my intentions..." sukuna moves forward and closer to you, hands very naturally finding their way to your waist.
he leans down slowly and offers you a brief kiss, a very light and short one, like he's testing the waters. he scans your face for your response. your lips feel all tingly. and all he sees is that you're not pushing him away.
"we shouldn't..." you whisper, but your resolve is too weak. you can't tell him to go away, much less kick him out of your home.
"i know."
in truth, he doesn't really. why should he be separate from you? you belong to him. he pulls you in for a deeper kiss. and you just let it happen.
and, lord, he smells and tastes divine. there's a reason why you always forgave him despite his scummy behaviour when it came to using protection. though you ended up breaking him off, you wonder if it'll be different if you give him another chance.
he wastes no time in lifting you into his arms like you weigh nothing, and heads off to your bedroom, before you can change your mind. you comply, holding onto his strong embrace weakly, having missed this kind of treatment.
when you're laid onto your own bed, sukuna smirks again as he cages you between his arms.
"you're being so obedient. must've regretted breaking up with me-?"
pulling him in with a hand to the back of his neck, you shut him up with another demanding kiss, not letting him speak for long. sukuna groans as you slip your tongue into him, initiating something messier than what the both of you were doing before.
he's quick to unzip your skirt and side it off, along with your panties. in desperation, he doesn't take the time to fully get you naked and instead, pushes your shirt and bra up to fondle your jutting breasts. sukuna then peels his own jacket and shirt off.
"spread your legs for me, sweetheart. i'll spoil you tonight."
you part your legs slowly - and he sees that you're already glistening with slick. bringing his face down, he aims straight for your sensitive clit, wrapping his lips around it entirely. your back arches as you gasp, the warm and wet feeling being so arousing like nothing else in this world.
you feel the tip of his tongue flicker up and down your clitoris in a mesmerising rhythm - knowing exactly what you want, and need to reach your orgasm. and the way he sucks on you with the correct amount of pressure, while making the lewdest noises, forcing your hips to stutter uncontrollably against his mouth, with the way it feels so mind numbing, is just too much in its own way.
you let your erotic moans ring out, because you know he loves it when you show him how good you're feeling - and your hands can't help but hold onto his hair from the intense pleasure, which he never seem to flinch from.
the first orgasm hits you like a truck, with the way you're left breathless and gasping for air as your legs reflexively try to close up - sukuna has to hold them apart with his strong grip as he continues tonguing you even as you're cumming, your cunt thrumming against his lips.
"o-ooh- fuck-! sukuna!" you plead, your blank gaze meeting the ceiling with half-lidded eyes, hips jolting without restraint.
when he does eventually show mercy and remove his mouth from your poor aching clit, you're already on the brink of sobbing, your legs down to your toes feeling all prickly from the overstimulation. your mind is in a haze.
so much so, that you didn't realise that he had bound your wrists to the bed frame until he was already done with it.
"wha- sukuna...? why're you tying me up-?" you question, still a little out of it from your last orgasm.
"shh, love. it's not like this is the first time...relax," sukuna comforts you, caressing your face. you can't help the small uneasiness from growing in your stomach. he suddenly gives your clit a light slap. it startles you a bit, and you gasp.
"you're so pretty. do you know that?"
you see your own reflection in his ringed eyes. your heart races, and you don't know if it's because you're flustered or terrified.
"i just wanna..."
his cock aches in his pants.
he never finishes his sentence. instead, he just offers you a soft, yet sloppy kiss.
sukuna frees his erection, and sighs in relief. it's all messy and leaky with precum. he lines it up against your wet and puckering cunt. you won't deny that you want it...
"sukuna... condom..." you remind him gently, getting slightly nervous from the way he's rubbing his tip up and down your slit.
"... 'm sorry sweetheart. i don't think i can do that."
he pushes his hips in one go, and you're left gasping from the sudden intrusion. you're immediately pushed into a mating press.
sukuna groans from how he immediately feels your wet walls sucking him in, your slick making his cock glisten as he thrusts in and out. he's missed this so, so much.
"fuck- sukuna! you can't- oh my g-god..." your hands tug at your bindings as you try and resist your moans from coming out of your throat, but the way his dick satisfies your cunt is otherworldly, his tip kissing your cervix, over and over again.
"that's it, baby... just enjoy yourself," he urges you on, getting breathless from his own fast pace, cock pulsating inside of you in excitement. god, you always drive him crazy.
still, in the back of your mind you still have a sliver of trust in this man. foolishly so. surely he'll pull out at the last second. surely he won't cum inside you in this situation. it's been a while since you stopped being on the pill.
your bed creaks from how roughly sukuna pounds your pussy, all while groaning with such shamelessness, only caring about the pleasure that is found from the warmth and wetness of your puckering hole.
"fuuck... fuck! to think you were gonna let some other bastard do this to you..." he growls under his breath, brows furrowing. you don't hear him. he remembers his original motive for all of this. to remind you who you truly belonged to.
"ooh-! sukuna! you're being too rough..." you whine, feeling the pressure of an incoming orgasm already building in your abdomen.
he only grips your hips harder, looking down at you with a toothy smile. his dick aches so badly. he's endured through so much patience just for this moment.
your mind goes blank as you forget about the fact that he's not wearing a condom, drool spilling out the side of your mouth from the pleasure you feel as his girthy dick drills in and out of you, a squelching noise happening everytime he sinks himself in. there's the feeling of his heavy balls slapping against your ass. and also the friction from his pants, that he hasn't bothered to fully take off. the juices from your cunt has dampened them, but sukuna couldn't care less right now.
"sweetheart... my love... take- taking me s-so well..." sukuna groans, panting and words slurred. despite the deeply affectionate words, his hips move like an animal. you can't do anything but moan and cry.
sukuna feels himself getting high again. there's just something about you... god, he's so pussydrunk he can't even think properly. only the thought of breeding you is on his mind. make you his, completely. to see your belly get bigger from his seed... a powerful thrum goes to his cock and he shudders again.
he has to make it take, this time.
"i'm gonna cum," he tells you breathlessly, knowing you won't be able to stop him, this time around.
"sukuna!... wait," you protest, weakly tugging at your binds again, but you can't say anything more than that, as his lips come down onto yours, silencing you effectively. he tongue kisses you roughly, desperate and messy as you can feel his laboured breaths on you.
and the final thrust that he gives, where he pushes his dick in so deeply, tip meeting your cervix, sends you into another trembling orgasm. sukuna groans deeply against your mouth as he cums, hips stuttering against yours, eyes shut tightly as he savours you completely. you take your lips off of his, and try to say, "stop...! no- pull out," but he stops you with another kiss.
you sob, because it's over. but you're also sobbing because it feels so good.
sukuna's deep kiss trails down to the crook of your neck.
"you can't tell me to pull out... when your cunt is... seducing my cock like this..." he shivers between phrases, mumbling against your neck, mind all hazy from the way you pulse around him from your orgasm, milking his dick as spurt after spurt of his seed shoots straight into your womb.
you can't even say anything back to him - you're coming off your high as he empties his balls into you, letting out more than usual. you're done for.
"i hate you," you sob.
"i know you don't really mean that. you can't live without me," sukuna tells you, pressing a gentle kiss against your forehead afterwards.
"and the same applies to me. i'll never let anyone else have you."
he begins to litter kisses down again, until he reaches your chest, while his cock is still inside you. his soft lips caress your tits, and then he begins to lather his tongue around your stiffened nipples, making you feel good again, even through the tears.
the night is far from over.
sukuna becomes much more gentle and soft after the first time, opting for slower but deeper thrusts this time around, adding plenty of little kisses in between as well, "loving" you with everything he has. you have no choice but to accept all of him, as he cums inside of you over and over again.
his cock is in its own haven, being trapped in your gummy walls without rest. and at some point, sukuna's even released your wrists, and now you're willingly making love to him with your arms around his neck, coping with the thought that resisting doesn't even matter anymore - it's already too late, and you're tired of trying to fight back.
you can't count how many times he's dumped his load into you, how many times he's said "i can't get enough of you," how many times you've kissed him back when he kisses you.
and when he finally does eventually pull out, his semen oozes out of you in a disgusting amount. you're spent, and completely exhausted. you can't help your heavy eyelids from closing up, and the last thing you hear is his soft voice.
"goodnight, sweetheart. i'll take care of everything, from now on. i promise."
he holds you so closely and lovingly that you believe him.
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erwinsvow · 8 months ago
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it’s like you were put on this earth to bother rafe.
everyday, without fail, come some sort of request—rafe, let’s go get coffee. rafe, i want ice cream. rafe, i wanna go to bed. he tells you to go to bed and you whine immediately after, letting out a faint “not alone! not what i meant!” before he rolls his eyes, one huge hand settling on your hip and the other one on your back, throwing you over his shoulder and taking you to bed. 
once you finally get him there it’s all laughs and giggles and avoiding his gaze, getting shy again, refusing to tell him what you really want. he rolls his eyes and gives it to you hard, like he knows you need it, so you’ll fall asleep and let him finish his work in silence. and it works—for a few hours, that is. then you're up again, usually with more requests.
“rafe, they’re having a sale.” you fiddle with your R pendant, the way you always do when you want something and can’t find the words to just ask for it. for a girl pawing at his dick and begging for it raw half the time, you get awfully shy. 
“so? how many fuckin’ clothes do y’need?” 
“you’re the one who keeps ripping ‘em up! not my fault-”
he rolls his eyes, running a hand through his hair.
"knock it off," he says, coming out louder and more frustrated than he meant.
then he watches you quiet down and scroll on your phone, biting your cheek. he thinks he messed up and made you cry. he feels bad the second it's done, because there’s definitely some pretty, tiny dress pulled up on the screen that you want to show him. 
he knows how your brain works at this point—you want him to get it for you, take you out to a cute dinner so you can wear it and then have him yank it off of you later that night. you won’t ask for it though, there’s your shyness again. 
you feel bad when he actually does buy you anything more than a six-dollar latte or a big ice cream that you can’t finish.
"what're you looking at?" he finally asks, not even a minute later, looking at your body resting on the complete other side of the bed now.
"nothing."
"you gonna do this right now?"
"do what?"
"just show me what you want."
"no, it's nothing. i'll just ask my other boyfriend for it, it's fine-"
before your sentence is finished, he's already on top of you, squishing your cheeks together, pinning you down. he stares into your eyes, maybe expecting tears, but they don't come. instead you look... satisfied. satisfied with yourself for riling him up like you wanted.
"yeah? other boyfriend?"
"jus' a joke, rafey." your voice comes out all quiet and squeaky since he's holding your face tight. your eyes are big and wide staring up at him. he hates that he's getting hard right now. he lets you go, rolling off and feeling your body sink into his bed.
“get your ass in the car.” it comes out as a statement, not a request. you comply immediately, leaning over to give him a wet, sloppy kiss before stumbling out of bed to grab your shoes. he gets up too, looking for his keys, when you come right back to give him a hug. you press your head against his chest, arms wrapped tight around his neck, eyes fluttering shut, breathing in his scent.
“thank you, rafe,” you murmur against his shirt.
“yeah, yeah, whatever,” he starts, but you don’t miss the way the tops of his ears are flushed with pink. “get the fuckin’ address for that place out-”
he does take you out to dinner, a cute place where he pulls out your chair for you and holds your hand in his on the table. he gets you flowers that match the color of your new dress, which are resting in the backseat of his car now. he kisses your cheek when he helps you put your jacket back on. then he slaps your ass when you’re getting into the passenger seat of his truck, because now it’s his turn to have fun with that dress.
later that night, close to sleep, you paw at his arm and ask for ice cream. the two of you are on the road five minutes later. he turns his head at the red light to watch you lick your cone. then you hold it up to his mouth so he can have some too, smiling and laughing when he takes a big bite.
he's starting to think he likes when you bother him for stuff.
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