#so happy i've finally finished it yay!!!

[keeps-ache]

overgrowth and languor

[recommended you click and zoom] (alt versions below)

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 28: The Sparks Brothers

I'm not a movie person... So when I do actually rewatch a movie (I mean, even watch it, at ALL, haha) it must really mean that something is up. I mean, well, it also IS a thorough, highly enjoyable and visually appealing movie about a band that I've been so incredibly invested in for the past several months. So maybe it's a surprise that I don't watch it more often actually. Because one beautiful side-effect of seeing it each time was getting an unexpected and very strong surge of motivation to keep on going towards the things that matter to me the most, despite any and all obstacles that could appear on the way. Another side-effect of it is being happy and joyfull and being filled with warm feelings and thoughts for the whole following day at least. Usually up to 3 days afterwards actually.

But ok, of course, what I'm getting at is that the Maels' story is so incredibly inspirational. Seeing how they persevered through all those years and NEVER lost their spirit or their vision, never gave up... is not only moving but also something that reminds me that wow, so much *really* is possible. I spent so many years fully convinced that there are things that I'll never be able to achieve. And sure, some of them are indeed pretty unlikely to happen. But if you told me from even one year ago that I'd be making art daily and not dreading being so much as perceived anywhere in the great world (so, including the internet)... well, I would have not believed it at all. I really mean it when I say that I used to believe that there are things that I'll just never be able to do. It's like it was simply not meant for me to be able do it and have those experiences. And yet...!

There's a lot I owe Sparks and this is one of the biggest things I'll always be grateful for. They really changed my life for the better. Truly nothing else before them reaches the same degree of how much it helped me. And well, I'm saying this on TSB day because this is where this feeling of gratitude and feeling SO lucky becomes the strongest. And the beautiful thing about it all is that they were always just themselves. They had their vision, they knew what they wanted to do and didn't care about how it would be received. Which is such an important and meaningful message to me, I can't even express how huge it is to me to see these two people who only really had themselves and their endurance and got exactly where they wanted to be.

Alright, some less grandiose observations now. Well, let's start with the fact that this was by no means my introduction to Sparks but it still really cemented my love for them even more. I loved being reminded of their whole journey and learning more about it, and even moreso I loved being able to see more of their beautiful brotherly bond and their wonderful personalities. Truly no other people in this whole world make me as happy as them currently. And the brothers' sense of humour hits super close to mine, so this is also a time filled with genuine laughs (I die laughing at the absolutely true Sparks facts at the end EVERY TIME). And since I'm a huge fan of animation and mixed media art and such things, this was simply a joy to view for my more artistically-inclined side too.

And damn, those two hours and 15 minutes really fly by so fast. When I have to arrange a huge timeslot to watch it all in one go, because that's the only way to do it for me, and then it feels like no time has passed anyway. And even with so much being said there, it feels like there's still so much more to get to. But it's still enough to lift my spirits completely for a pretty long time. And to make me cry a lot of the time too... Absolutely impossible to not shed a tear by the end of it all. It's moving, it's funny as heck, it's super fun and it's absolutely beautiful and truly lifechanging. 💖

[starmocha]

I've placed a self-ban on myself from posting any new Sylus fics until I finish Bride of the Dragon King. 😔👉👈

But just know, I will absolutely write this scenario into a proper story eventually 😤

[ Masterlist ★ Series Index ]

Sylus + Little Birdie ☆ Daddy is a Kitty?

During one family weekend in Linkon City while visiting Meow's Café, Sylus has, once again, offended the kitties. They immediately punish him and turn him into a caracal. Again.

Sylus is irate.

He is sitting in a booth, legs and arms crossed, silently fuming, already plotting to buy Meow's Café just so he can bulldoze it.

You're frantically appealing to OTTO Manager who feels just as helpless (omg someone pls save OTTO Manager, they're not paid to deal with any of this BS)

The kitties are meowing loudly, rebelling, and yelling about how Sylus deserves this, and they refuse to change him back 😾

Little Birdie stares in wonder amidst all of the commotion and chaos.

Slowly, she walks over and climbs onto the booth, and then into Sylus' lap.

Sylus is lost in his head, too angry to even notice her. He is just acting on his paternal instinct when he steadied her to keep her from falling.

She reaches up and lightly touches one ear. It twitches. She giggles. She gently scratches Sylus' new ear.

The café suddenly goes quiet as everyone hears a soft voice singing:

🎶 Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty. Purr, purr, purr. 🎶

Sylus closes his eyes and unwittingly starts to purr.

He suddenly breaks out of his trance, and he looks down, surprised to see his daughter smiling up at him.

She had sensed Sylus' anger earlier, so she asks with a soft, sweet smile, "Does Daddy feel better now? 🥹"

Sylus' face softens. He smiles and leans down to kiss her cheek. He is still mad that he was turned into a caracal again, but seeing his daughter's sweet smiling face calms him down immediately.

"Yes, baby, I feel better now," he answers, giving her a hug and another kiss on her cheek.

The kitties are touched by this scene and unanimously agree to reverse his punishment. 😺😸

BONUS SCENES

Sylus sings 'Soft Kitty' with his daughter and the kitties are mad again 😾 (at him, of course 😔)

One month punishment as a caracal and he is also banned from Meow's Café for the duration of his sentence.

You're dismayed.

Baby Birdie is delighted. "YAY KITTY DADDY."

Sylus shrugs, resigned.

[Later at home in the N109 Zone]

Normally, your daughter is very easy to put to bed, but tonight she is insisting on only wanting kitty daddy to put her to bed and sing her a lullaby. (Poor child is also tone deaf and is the only one who enjoys Sylus' singing 😔 /J)

"Daddy is taking a shower right now, baby. Come on, Mommy can sing you a lullaby. Better than Daddy as well..."

Baby Birdie is disappointed, but she doesn't fight you on this. "Can Daddy sing me to sleep tomorrow, Mommy? 🥺"

"Of course, baby. 🙂" (You @ you: WHY DOES SHE LIKE HIS SINGING SO MUCH??? 😐😮‍💨😭)

You manage to get her to sleep eventually and when you return to the master bedroom, you find Sylus is already in bed.

"She's finally asleep," you tell him, exhausted. "She only wants kitty daddy right now."

He smirks, amused. His ears twitch, and his tail sways from side to side.

When you get into bed, you notice Sylus is...very frisky.

"Sy-SYLUS???"

He laughs and grins lecherously. "Isn't it time for us kitties to play?"

"We made such a cute daughter already," he continues, unabashed, "Maybe it's time we start on our next...'litter,' and give her siblings. 😈"

[THE END BECAUSE THIS IS A ✨️WHOLESOME SERIES✨️ OK. I WRITE ENOUGH SYLUS BREEDING FICS ALREADY. 😔

But something something implications and something something Sylus needing to rut because of his feline instincts rn 😔😔😔]

[kozachenko]

[Click for better quality]

Ok yay I'm back from my vacation yipeeeeeee. I started this drawing of Keiki before I left and I was half considering just giving up on it.... until I did a short study of facial planes and then got motivated to work on this again! I'm glad I didn't give up on it though, as I'm actually really happy with this one!

Artist's Notes;

So as I mentioned in my last post about Touhou 17, I wanted to finish this by the game's five year anniversary but with how progress was going I didn't want to rush this so I decided to take a long break from it. Mainly because of the face. For a while now I was kind of feeling like I was stagnating with my drawings, not really in the clothing but in the bodies. There was something about the way I was rendering them that I just wasn't happy with, and after talking with someone else about this issue, I realized that the reason I felt this way was because the faces were too flat and didn't match the rest of the drawing and that I needed to find a way to make the rendering of the face feel consistent with everything else. So after doing a short study of the plains of the face (I used this 3D head model from art station as a reference for my short study, please go give this person some love as they are a lifesaver) I went back into this drawing and applied what I learned here. It was only after that that I finally became motivated to finish the piece, and while it started off as just a simple character sketch like Saki and Yachie's were, the moment I added in Keiki's little fire dragon I knew I had gotten in too deep and now here we are with a full on background. OK it's not super crazy or anything, but it gets the job done and it's better than there just being an empty void behind her. It's rare moments like this when I use brushes other than the Clip Studio Default Charcoal Brush and use the Clip Studio Default Paint Brushes as well (god bless the oil paint and dry gouache clip studio brushes, they were amazing). I don't know why but painting fire has always been really fun for me, there's something oddly satisfying about it y'know? I do think that another reason for this problem was because I was drawing faces like I would in my more sketchy style that didn't mesh well with my lineless style, so I'm glad I've started remedying that.

After adding in the fire dragon I had an idea to kinda make it feel like splash art in the way the composition works... probably because I have been playing Reverse 1999 again and it has taken over my brain. I do feel like Keiki's tools get a little lost in the composition, and I didn't fully render the metal parts of them mainly because I didn't feel like they needed it, but that's just something for me to improve on later down the line.

If you guys are wondering where I went for my vacation, I went to New York and got to go to the MET and the Museum of Natural History. In both places I found Kofun period stuff and I was so happy to see it you have no idea. I remember one of the Haniwa I saw had some neat face paint under the eyes that I tried to replicate with the makeup under Keiki's eyes in my drawing, though I think I'll gave to figure out how to draw makeup on characters because this reads more like blush to me than anything. While drawing this I also looked up some references of Kofun period jewelry and really liked the stuff I found, which also meant that now she has proper Kofun earrings instead of earrings shaped like Kofun tombs. I put some of the things I referenced with a closeup of Keiki's face as well down below. I made her outfit more reminiscent of the outfit I gave her at the beginning of the year with the buttons and all, though I do want to try and draw her in some more period accurate clothing like the Haniwa I took a picture of at the Museum of Natural History. I wish I could find a way to make her handercheif look better though as I wish I made it a little bit bigger, though I think I'm saying this because I've looked at this drawing for too long lmao. Once again something to work on for when I next draw her. Also want to get better at rendering hair, as some details (like the little strands in front of her ears) kinda got unreadable due to the similarities in colour lol.

Now you may have also noticed the little cracks I added onto Keiki's face, and that's because I have fallen in love with the idea of Keiki's body being made from ceramic and that she crafted her body herself. While they aren't very visible I also tried to add some doll joints to her body, which is an idea I played around with in the past but never went to far with. I also want to get better at rendering cracks in ceramic, porcelain, etc, as I'm not sure how those read in the drawing. I also have a headcanon where the cracks in Keiki's face show up because of heightened emotions, and while Keiki is aware of this and does her best to make sure her face doesn't break off.... she will still end up with at least a few cracks during any given day, and she can often forget to repair her own body quite frequently so Mayumi has to remind her quite a lot. Mayumi even taught herself some basic sculpting techniques to help repair parts of her body that are so badly damaged to the point where Keiki can't repair them herself, i.e. if both her arms broke off, Mayumi would put them back together for her so Keiki can at least have something to repair herself with rather than nothing. I also like to imagine that if Keiki created her own body, if you took a look at Keiki from the beginning of her life she would look completely different compared to now.

BTW If you guys are wondering what a very very angry Keiki looks like....ok in order for this to make sense have any of you read volume 11 of Land of The Lustrous? Am I bringing back some memories for those of you that have? Ok good, glad we all got that mental image brewing in our minds, I'll probably draw a version of Keiki that is somewhat inspired by that one day as it's an idea I've had for a little while now. And to those who haven't gotten to that volume yet and are confused.... don't worry about it, just keep reading :)

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Terms and Conditions

Russell Shaw X F!Doctor!Reader

Summary: when your sister's fiance goes missing, you call Colter for help, and he brings along his rugged, but handsome and charming older brother, Russell.

Warnings: mature content, eventual smut so minors dni (always), no use of y/n, this part only contains cursing. I've never written anything so tame (it's okay next part won't be)

WC: 3.6k

A/N: so I finished tracker, yay and Russell owns my thoughts rn so here we are. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this. I'm not great at writing series, but this idea called for development I can't do in a one-shot. I started this right after finishing tracker last week and I finally had time to proof read it. I also had a hard time with Russell's characterization, mans been in only one episode, so if i didnt portay him perfectly sorry i tried. Happy readings.

I don't do tag lists, if you'd like keep up with upcoming parts follow @midnightreadinglibrary and turn on notifications (I only reblog my written works on there)

You have encountered a lot of grief and sorrow in your life. Pain, you were familiar with it. And you could safely say that one of the worst was heartbreak. You were all too familiar with that one. And right now, your baby sister was experiencing it, too.

“Rosie?” You called into your apartment as you kicked your shoes off and tossed your keys like they had offended you. With a heavy sigh, tired from a long and stressful day at the hospital, you dragged your sore feet through your apartment. 

The living room was empty, TV off. The kitchen was dark with the lights off. You frowned, calling your sister’s name, louder again. Couple seconds went by. Silence. You padded down the hall to the guest room. You could hear faint indistinct sounds. The closer you got to the guest room the clearer the sound became. It sounded like crying.

“Rosalie?” Your voice grew louder with concern as you opened the door to the bedroom, and there you saw your sweet baby sister, sobbing into her pillow. Your heart immediately sank and you rushed to her side. “Oh honey, it’s okay.”

You sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her into a hug. She held you tight as she cried. It broke your heart to see her like this.

“It’s not okay! He’s been gone for over a week!” She sobbed. You squeezed her shoulders as she sat up and sniffled. “Our wedding is in three months! Why hasn't he come back?”

You stared into her eyes, the same color as your own and you sighed, only being able to give her a look of sympathy in return. You didn’t want to tell her what you thought.

“I dunno.. I mean.. What if he just.. You know?” The look on your face said everything you couldn’t with words, and Rosie looked like she wanted to cry even more.

“He didn’t bail. He wouldn’t… I know him. He's missing, why won’t anyone believe me?” She raised her voice, almost choking on a sob, and you immediately felt so horrible for even suggesting such a thing. 

“No, hey, I’m sorry for saying that, I do believe you. Have you heard anything from the cops?” She shook her head and you sighed heavily. 

“I can’t keep waiting, what if he got hurt? What if someone hurt him? Please, I need to do something.” She begged you, eyes filled with tears, you had never seen your sister so sad, so hopeless. She was always the more bubbly, optimistic and lively out of the two of you. But ever since her fiance went missing, you didn’t see that spark anymore. It broke your heart.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. I think I know someone who can help, alright? We’ll find him.” 

~~~~~~~

“Hey Doc, to what do I owe this call? It’s been like what, three years?” 

You sighed softly at the voice on the other line. You didn’t exactly want to resort to this, but you didn’t know what else to do, but you had the money, your sister didn’t exactly have a lot to spare with her wedding planning, and all.

“I need a favor, Colter. Well, not exactly a favor, I’ll pay but, I need help asap.” You rubbed the side of your throbbing temple, you heard him hum, telling you to go on. “My sister’s fiance went missing last week. They’re supposed to get married in three months, and the poor thing is a wreck.”

Colter sighed. “A runaway groom? You know what that sounds like, right?”

“Yes, I know. But I know this guy, he’s a decent guy, and I know he loves my sister, he wouldn’t just leave her like this.” You tried to explain, Colter sighed again. “Listen, the guy was in the Army, he’s a Navy SEAL now, went overseas a lot, and my sister told me he’s been acting weird since his last assignment. Just humor me, please? I can’t see her like this.”

Colter stayed silent for a long minute, you honestly thought he had hung up, but you ultimately heard him take a deep breath before responding. “Fine, send me his details, I should get there by morning if I head out now.” 

“Thank you.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Chaos, chaos and more chaos.

You just wanted five minutes to breathe. You sat down, for the first time in hours today and took in a deep breath. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Rosie, almost zombie-like as she walked through the emergency department  You called out to her.

“Hey, did you get some sleep?” You asked her with worried eyes. She shrugged. “Listen, I called an old friend, he helps find people. Maybe he can find James, ‘cause the cops clearly aren’t going to.” You saw the smallest smile, and the smallest bit of hope light of her eyes.

“Really? What, is he like a PI or something?” She tilted her head at you, seemingly just as exhausted as you were.

“I mean..” You hesitated, unsure on how to explain Colter’s job to her. “I guess? He collects reward money. When someone goes missing and a reward is offered, he finds people for that reward.”

“But I didn’t offer any reward. I can’t even afford to buy a pair of shoes right now.. On my shitty nurse salary. I’ve already spent so much of my savings on planning the wedding. And these student loans are killing me. I can’t pay him.” She started to ramble in panic, motioning her hands around. You stood up and grabbed her hands.

“It’s fine. I got it covered. Take it as your early wedding gift?” You flashed her a toothy smile, hoping to humor her at least a little. She looked at you with apprehension. “Not a word, okay? I want him to come home to you, I don’t mind spending some money if it means you can be happy.”

She could have the happiness you never could.

Rosie’s eyes filled with tears and you thought she was going to burst into tears in the middle of the emergency department, but instead she hugged you, and she hugged you so fucking hard you thought she broke one of your ribs. You laughed softly and patted her head reassuringly. You were about to say something to her but you heard your name being called. You turned around and saw one of the rotation nurses.

“You have visitors at the front desk.” She told you. You scrunched up your face in confusion.

“Who? I wasn't expecting anyone.”

“Don’t know. The front desk just said two guys asked for you directly.”

Oh. Colter. But who was the other guy?

‘Alright, thanks.” You nodded at her. You then looked at Rosie with a warm reassuring smile and you held her hands in yours. “We’re gonna find James, I know it. I’ll let you know when my friend wants to meet with you, he normally likes to talk with the missing person’s closest relative. Try to focus on work alright?” 

You left her with that, hoping she would trust you. And you hoped you could trust Colter. With a heavy sigh you walked to the front desk of the emergency department. And there you saw Colter, hands in his pockets as he talked with another man you didn’t recognize. With a bit of skepticism, you approached both men, letting your presence be known with a clear of your throat. They both turned to look at you, Colter with a warm welcoming smile, but the other guy, who was arguably the hottest man you had ever seen in your life—not that it was relevant—looked at you like a deer in headlights, like starstruck.

“Hey Colter,” you gave him a cordial smile, then you looked at his slightly shorter companion, though both men were still a good head taller than you. “And Colter’s friend. Didn’t know you had a partner.”

“I don’t. This is—”

“Russell. Colter’s more handsome and charming older brother.” Russell interrupted, extending a hand to you. You looked at Colter, who looked less than impressed and you couldn’t help but snort a bit.

“I see the flirty nature is a family thing then?” You took Russell’s hand with a small laugh but you quickly swallowed when you felt the warmness of his large hand as it engulfed your smaller one. You weren’t really laughing then. You made eye contact with Russell, you had never seen a pair of prettier eyes, a breathtaking shade of green, and an intensity that was equally breathtaking. It didn’t help that he was smiling at you, too. 

You cleared your throat and took your hand back, choosing to look at Colter instead, “So uh, what’s the plan?”

“Right, well, first things first, I need more details about this James, think you could take an early lunch? I would also need to talk to your sister as soon as possible.” 

You chewed on your bottom lip, catching a glimpse of your watch before ultimately nodding, “Yeah, just give me an hour. We can meet at this cafe nearby, I’ll send you the address. You can meet with my sister after her shift. She’s been staying with me.”

They looked at each other for a second, shrugged then nodded at you. These two were definitely brothers. 

~~~~~~~~

You were frantic as you pulled into the cafe, running late after a code blue that took up almost the whole hour to get under control. You were sure that you looked like a mess, still in your scrubs, pieces of hair falling out of your bun as you entered the cafe. You were almost embarrassed that Russell was going to see you like this, you didn’t care too much about Colter, though. When you entered you saw them sitting at a booth, two cups of coffee sitting on the table but no food. You felt a bit bad. Colter noticed you and waved you over, making Russell turn his head to look at you. And somehow he didn’t seem to care about how wild you looked. 

“I’m so sorry. I had a code blue. I hope I didn’t waste your guy’s time.” You said almost frantic, barely able to catch your breath. You unconsciously sat next to Russell, who seemed quite happy about that.

“Nonsense. We were actually waiting for you to order, right Colt?” Russell reassured, and when you turned your head to look at him he was smiling at you, a toothy smile that made the corners of his eyes wrinkle a tiny bit, it was kind of cute, actually. 

“Yep. Russell insisted we waited. Even though we haven't eaten anything in over six hours.” Colter sighed sipping on his coffee. 

“Well at least one of you has manners.” You narrowed your eyes at Colter, and you heard Russell rumble a laugh.

“Y’know what? Let’s just focus on the case, okay?” You held back a laugh and simply nodded, trying to ignore the intoxicating scent of Russell beside you, a mixture of bourbon and sandalwood. 

Colter asked you a million questions, ones you had answers to, and others didn’t, which was probably best if he talked to your sister, too. Your food also arrived quickly, which you were thankful for since you hadn’t had anything other than the Keurig coffee from the doctors lounge. 

“So, you said James was in the army?” You nodded as you munched on a fry. “And is Navy SEAL now?” 

“Yeah, he went overseas every month or so. But after his last assignment a few weeks ago he told my sister about getting out.” You answered as you bit into your cheeseburger. You didn’t often like to indulge in greasy heavy foods, but you were beyond stressed from both work and your sister, so you needed some joy in your life.

“He wanted out? Why?” Russell asked beside you. You shrugged.

“I don’t know. One thing or another about being tired of being on the battlefield, wanting to be home more. Or that’s what Rosie told me.” You answered as you munched on your burger. You thought for a few seconds before speaking again. “But if you ask me, I think something went wrong in his last assignment. Rosie said he didn’t speak to her for a whole day after coming home, and that he was constantly on edge and irritable for weeks leading up to his disappearance.” 

“Maybe. Might be worth looking into.” Colter shrugged as he took a bit out of his sandwich. “You think we’d be able to look into his assignments overseas?” He asked Russell.

“Doubt it. If they’re classified, which most likely they are, they’d either have little to no paper trail, or they would be heavily secured.” Russell said with a mouthful of fries, which Colter clearly disapproved of. But Russell paid no mind to it, his attention was all on you.

“How do you know?” You asked Russell with genuine curiosity. He half grinned a bit.

“I used to be in the Army too. Spec ops. That's why Colter brought me along.” Russell explained, and you almost wanted to sigh out loud. “So I know damn well how secretive some of those overseas assignments can be. Most are black-ops and off the books. It’d be hard to find the files.” 

So much for tall, rugged and handsome. Guess you’re going to have to look from afar.

‘Well fuck. That sounds lovely.” You mumbled into your burger, annoyed and frustrated. Russell actually laughed this time.

“You know that burger isn’t gonna run away, right?” He chuckled at the way you were so aggressively stuffing your face. Colter narrowed his eyes at his older brother and kicked him under the table. “Okay, ow.” 

“Mind your business? Also, you have no room to talk dude.” You scoffed, eyeing his sriracha covered fries with disgust. “That’s actually fucking criminal.”

“Well, this one has a mouth on her. And here I was trying to be a gentleman.” He chuckled, playful grin on his face as he shoved a particularly heavily sriracha-covered fry in his mouth while you watched. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, sweetheart.” 

You stared at him with an indescribable feeling. You didn’t remember the last time a man had this much of an effect on you. Sure, in your mind it didn’t do him any favors that he used to be in the military, but you’d gladly break your own rule for just a little taste of him. He was a little rugged, sure, but he was undeniably handsome and carried himself with an alluring sense of self confidence. And the way he smiled at you, God, it made you feel like a schoolgirl, warm and tingly. You didn’t remember the last time a man looked at you like that, either.

“Can we focus here?” Colter, the ever present voice of reason. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Who woulda thought, you look even more beautiful without the scrubs.” Those were the first words out of Russell’s mouth when you opened the door. You had told them to stop by in the evening after Rosie’s shift so they could talk to her. 

“Russell,” Colter sighed, looking at his brother with annoyance but Russell simply smiled, unapologetically proud of himself. They both looked at you, you were trying so hard not to smile right now. “Alright, is Rosie home?”

“Yeah, she’s in the living room. Come in.” You shook your head softly as you allowed both brothers into your apartment. 

You led them to the living room, you caught Russell looking around with curiosity. Maybe he was trying to figure you out, figure out how to get on your good side. But he otherwise didn’t say anything. 

“Rosie, the guys I told you about are here.” You called out to her and she immediately shot up to her feet and rushed to your side. You looked at her, poor thing looked like she had been crying again. “This is Colter, the tracker, and that’s his brother, Russell. They’re going to help us, okay? Colter just needs to ask you a few questions about James.”

Rosie was nodding profusely, “Anything, I’ll tell you everything you want to know. Just help me find him? Please?” 

Colter led her to the couch, perhaps she’d feel safer if she was comfortable. You didn’t want to intrude, you probably weren’t needed right at this time, anyway.

“I’m going to get you guys something to drink.” You announced, wanting to give them some privacy. 

“I’ll help.” Russell piped up and you looked at him with curiosity, he simply smiled at you. You didn’t bother to question him.

You went into the kitchen, Russell was close behind you. You could feel his intense gaze burn into the back of your head as you rummaged through your fridge. You tried to ignore it.

“Beer?” You asked, glancing over your shoulder at him. 

“Sure.” 

You grabbed three beers from the fridge and Rosie’s iced tea. You handed Russell his beer before moving around your kitchen to grab a glass cup from the cupboard. You poured the iced tea into the cup before turning around to find Russell still looking at you, with wonder, and maybe something else you couldn’t quite decipher. 

“So what’s your deal?” He asked you as he sipped his beer. You tilted your head at him and furrowed your eyebrows.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, yeah you’re clearly a kick-ass doctor, and a caring sister but, what else is there? I don’t see any pets, surely no kids, no pictures on the walls, minimal decor, hopefully no boyfriend,” You laughed at the last part. “So, what are you about?”

“Right, well uh,” you chuckled softly, awkwardly sipping on your beer as you leaned on the counter. You shrugged. “I’m a doctor who works sixty-plus hours a week, I have zero social life, I’m not home nearly enough to have a pet. And I certainly have no time for the nonsense of men my age. But hey, if you want to know what I’m about, it’ll take more than just shitty beer and a kitchen conversation to figure me out.”

Russell smiled. Genuinely smiled. But it was a different kind of glint, like he was amused, impressed almost. He chuckled as he nodded, stepping to stand in front of you. You straightened up, looking up at him.

“Surely you’d have time to get a drink with me sometime then? I don’t know if I’m your age but I can assure you I’m not going to waste your time. Would love to try and figure you out while I’m here.” He bit his bottom lip, eyebrows raised and green eyes big with expectancy. 

Yes—said the warmth between your legs.

No—said your rational mind.

“Russell…” Your voice was a warning, apprehensive as you chewed on your bottom lip. “I don’t think I should be going on dates while my sister’s fiance is missing.” 

“It’s her fiance that’s missing, not yours.” He chuckled. You knew he didn’t mean to sound mean, or mocking but you scoffed softly, moving away from him. His words hit you in ways he could never know.

“I don't do… That. Y’know, dating? Or hookups. I don’t do romance, period.” You argued, hands on your hips. He tilted his head at you, eyebrows raised as he looked at you with that indescribably charming look of his. God, did he make it hard to say no.

“Don’t have to be anything. I’m not expecting anything. Just drinks, no strings attached, we’ll see where the night takes us, yeah?” He made a very compelling argument, and his unwavering confidence and charm was hard to resist.

Truly, you didn’t remember the last time you felt so tempted to go on a date with someone, and it wasn’t for lack of trying. From coworkers to patients have made advances you’ve always easily turned down. But Russell? You didn’t feel like you wanted to turn him down. You gave in so easily.

“Whadaya say?”

“Yeah, okay. Just drinks. We’ll see what happens. But don’t get any funny ideas, okay?” You warned him. He chuckled but ultimately raised his hands up in defense when you narrowed your eyes at him.

“I am a gentleman, sweetheart. I know how to behave in front of a pretty girl.”

Your concern was if you could behave in front of a hot guy. Especially when he was as hot as Russell.

[cherrychilli]

18+

Eddie Munson, AFAB reader, "shy" reader, flashing, public setting

A/N: My first Eddie blurb, yay! I'm very rusty but I'm trying to get back into writing with some short blurbs so I'm starting off a little light before I dive back into full on filth and debauchery.

Thinking about...

Eddie and his girlfriend who's often too shy to initiate all the naughty things she wants to do with him.

That is until the sexual tension building inside you reaches an all time high one night when he's on stage performing - your own personal kryptonite.

It's almost too much for you to handle, staring longingly at his skilled fingers as they move deftly over the frets of his guitar, a light sheen of sweat making his neck gleam enticingly under the stage lights, shirt riding up so that his stomach and happy trail peek through.

You loved watching Eddie perform, seeing him shine and thrive in his element and look good doing it. Ripples of want had been coursing through you all night, turning into waves as the gig continued, morphing into a storm of desire swirling wildly inside you until you're finally able to cast your inhibitions aside and work up the nerve to do something you've been fantasizing about since watching him perform the very first time, since before he'd even asked you to be his girlfriend.

You flash him.

Hooking your thumbs underneath the hem of your top, pulling both it and the thin lace bra you'd been wearing underneath up over your breasts smoothly. For all the care and effort you'd put into picking out the pretty lingerie for when you'd be alone together with Eddie in his van after the show, you decided this would be a better way to surprise him in the end.

You're at the back of the bar, all eyes on Eddie and the band, everyone else too caught up in the music to notice the girl with her tits out, thankfully. But your boyfriend's eyes had kept returning to you all night while he was up there on stage so when he looks to you again after nailing his solo, searching for your pretty face and your sweet, shy smile in the crowd he gawps when instead he's met with the sight of your exposed breasts and the big proud grin plastered on your face. He's seen them before, sure; been rendered thoughtless at the sight your pebbled nipples and your soft breasts but this? in a room full of people too preoccupied to know any better? risk and thrill intertwining and all for him? it nearly does poor Eddie in.

It's long time fantasy of his come true, made even better because it was you who'd done it and now that it's actually happened, Eddie's so caught up in it that his fingers fumble over the guitar strings, jumbled notes and chords blaring out of the amp but the botched melody fails to catch his notice for he's still too busy staring at your tits.

Some of the audience members begin murmuring and tilting their heads in confusion at how the front man's lost his composure in the span of a couple of seconds and you decide you've had your fun, pulling your clothes back down in time for Eddie to snap out of his dazed stupor and finish the song the way it was meant to be played, all while his cheeks blazed bright red.

There's still a couple of songs left to be played in the set after that but instead, he announces that the band will be taking a quick break over the mic, hopping off stage and making his way over to you.

"Baby, I can't believe you did that", he exclaimed excitedly under his breath once he'd shuffled through the crown in record time, his hands set on your waist, smile impossibly wide, and eyes bright with a telltale glimmer.

"I've always wanted to do that", you confessed with hot cheeks, adrenaline still strong in your veins. "Ever since I first watched you on stage".

Eddie gives you a look, a mix of impress and adoration playing on his features.

"Who knew my sweet, shy girl had it in her?", he pulls you closer, close enough for you to feel that part of him press against your hip.

"Eddie..." , you flustered, quickly glancing around the crowded bar to make sure no one was watching the two of you.

It's obvious he's dying to slip his hands underneath your clothes and touch you and your body burns hot with the same need. He leans in, lips to your ear as he whispers, "How about we head to the van a little early? Y' can gimme a private show this time"

[httpsserene]

𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞'𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐬 (𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐬𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠!) - 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐜.

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: maybe this time, the natural distance between them concerning their now different job requirements would help max get over his small, miniscule, tiny, fractional, microscopic, miniature, little, itty-bitty crush on daniel. it didn’t work the first time, when younger-max had avoided his ex-teammate like the plague after his move to a different team—if anything that absence made his heart ache for daniel more, even though he tried his hardest to hate him. so now, maybe that max isn’t the one causing the growing gap between him and daniel, this space might dissolve max’s fondness. 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: 18+ only. idiots in love. mild angst. fluff. happy ending. attempt at humor. plot with a side of porn. the timeline is mostly accurate. max verstappen is an oblivious idiot. daniel ricciardo is an obvious idiot. 5+1 things (in a way). the three musketeers: charles, pierre, and lando. light praise kink. light dom/sub undertones. mild orgasm delay/denial. 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 9.5k 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: max verstappen x daniel ricciardo

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: so....how's life been treating y'all while i disappeared for two months :) ? no, um, sorry for ghosting you guys; i know, i'm surprised that i didn't forget my login info. life started being life for a good amount of time and i got really sucked into school and work. aside from the boring everyday stuff, i've got an internship this summer (yay!), i'm pretty sure i have a bit of a mutual-crush with this boy in my morning lecture, and i've started playing final fantasy sixteen.

anyways, this is my longest work ever! and i'm dedicating it to one of my sweetest betas, bianca. you requested this long before my disappearing act in december, and i told you i was nearly finished with a 6k-word fic for your request. to make up for my unexplained absence, i rewrote the entire thing into a near ten-thousand word feel-good masterpiece.

i hope this fic is of good enough quality for all of you wonderful f1-stans to forgive me because, i'm back, and hopefuily here to stay lol. enjoy reading, loves < 3.

requested & written by/for @biancathecool

join taglist | feedback & requests | table of contents↻

milton keynes, red bull racing headquarters, pre-season 2023

daniel looks happy. max doesn’t know why that surprises him—maybe he’s projecting his emotions (his therapist says he does that quite often) onto the man. the surprise makes sense though, max thinks, as he watches the australian chatter away with the engineers, the largest toothy smile spread across his face like he never left red bull behind in 2018. if it were max who had gone through the mclaren bullshit along with not having a guaranteed seat for the upcoming 2023 season, and he had to settle for a third driver position: he would scourge the world with his fury.

but: it’s not max, it’s daniel. it’s daniel, who was warmly welcomed back into navy blue (papaya did not suit him), it’s daniel, who doesn’t snap at the marketing team when they ask how he’s “coping” with not being on the grid. it’s daniel, who becomes friends with checo easily. it’s daniel, who’s scheduled to fulfill the pr activities that the two red bull drivers refuse to complete. it’s daniel, who has clocked in insane hours in the sim and factory while max has been enjoying his off-season. 

it’s daniel, who hasn’t shown any signs of disappointment about not having a seat this year.

if he won’t show or admit it, max will. having a race weekend without daniel doesn’t feel right. max knows this, even though the season hasn’t started yet: he’s going to be miserable. it’s like when daniel left him the team. of course, max had pushed daniel away after he signed with renault. what was he supposed to do? react calmly with the emotional intelligence he didn’t have? max thought the man hated him when he didn’t tell him that he was leaving before the news was released. 

regardless, instead of the australian leaving, this time around he’s coming back, which max had originally believed was the best thing to ever happen. he’s not so sure of that anymore. daniel belongs in the car chasing him with the smell of burning rubber and petrol surrounding them. max doesn’t appreciate how the smell of race tracks has already disappeared from him. he could tell it was missing when daniel made a show of giving max the biggest hug as soon as he stepped foot in the factory.

maybe this time, the natural distance between them concerning their now different job requirements would help max get over his small, miniscule, tiny, fractional, microscopic, miniature, little, itty-bitty crush on daniel. it didn’t work the first time, when younger-max had avoided his ex-teammate like the plague after his move to a different team—if anything that absence made his heart ache for daniel more, even though he tried his hardest to hate him. so now, maybe that max isn’t the one causing the growing gap between him and daniel, this space might dissolve max’s fondness.

“max, kid,” christian waves a hand in front of max’s face with an unimpressed look, “did you hear a single thing i said or were you too distracted by the sight of daniel in red bull gear again?”

the tips of max’s ears redden, and he snaps his head away from where it was turned to watch daniel’s constant smile, to face his team principal. max doesn’t know what he was thinking; his crush is going nowhere.

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐎𝟑.

taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz @vetteltea @tallrock35

© httpsserene 2023

[sonicboomrevisited]

THE WEEKLY CHECK-IN

Issue 2 Updates:

6/22 Pages have been fully inked

Page 7 is still in the sketching process, but I hope to have the inks started today!

I am technically ahead of schedule on inking pages! Yay!

Issue 1 Page 13 WIPS:

You guys voted last week on what you'd like to see from this blog between now and issue 2s release. WIPs from issue 1 won! Every week, I'll showcase a page. This week I've chosen page 13!

The Initial Sketch: When I first start working on a comic page, I always focus on getting the general layout of the page done first. This means understanding how the panels fit together and jotting down a general sense of the action. You may notice that some of these initial plans changed in the final version. I wasn't originally going to have Amy hit Sonic with her Piko Piko hammer and panel 4 was going to have Sonic kicking Amy again rather than vaulting over her. I wish I had saved more of the in-between sketches to show you guys how these evolved overtime, but I just didn't think to do it during the process. I'm saving a lot of the sketches during Issue 2, though to make up for it!

Final Ink: A page without color! You can see how some of the sizing on the boxes changed, Sonic's surprised face was turned around to better fit with his new vaulting pose and what I originally intended to be a fully in-shadow panel was turned into just having Knuckles in Shadow. This is one of the prettier inks in my opinion. It's the first page that I felt completely happy with the art once it was finished. Looking back now there are things I would do differently, but I can still be proud of it.

Color: And here's the final product, without text, in all it's glory! Coloring is not my strongest suit. In fact, every time I draw something complicated I think about how much trouble its going to be to color later. I'm always up for the challenge, though. If I were to go back and color this page again, however, I probably wouldn't use so many gradients on the background.

Let me know what WIPS from Issue 1 you'd like to see next or if you have any questions about page 13!

[astridsastroids]

𝑲𝑬𝑬𝑷 𝑰𝑻 𝑶𝑵

rules for the blog masterlist

summary: Miguel suggests some miyagi-do merch but Robby has other plans

pairing: fem!reader x Robby Keene

note: english is not my first language i apologise for any errors whether grammar or spelling, first story yay all characters are of age

warnings: swearing,unprotected sex (irl wrap it up before you get stuffed up),very mild teasing, cum on tits, illusion to aftercare, little fingering, mild clit stimulation (let me know if I left something out) 18+ MDNI

happy reading -💋 love from Astrid

Robby got to the dojo, and everyone was buzzing with excitement. The sekai takai was soon rolling in, and those who were going were gathering a few things. Hawk pulled him to the sparring deck where everyone was gathered. "Hey, he's here; we can finally open the box," Hawk said, grabbing a package knife and handing it to Miguel.

"So I may or may not have persuaded sensei Larusso to buy us team jackets for the sekai takai. I mean, who knows when we'll get this opportunity again, you know," he said, opening the box.

They all got their respective Miyagi-do jackets. "Thats fucking cool, letterman jackets. I never thought Id see the day I'd be happy for a jacket," Hawk continued on. "I mean it looks like sick Miguel.". *Robby sighed a little "it's nice I guess."

"Okay you want the jacket or complain about it?" Miguel asked as Robby took a look at his and admired it for a bit, then both sensei's appear. "Miguel thought you guys would want some team identification outside of your GI's, so he came up with the idea. I was questioning it but now I think it looks great" Daniel stated. "Pretty badass if you ask me, though it should have been black in my opinion, white gets dirty pretty quickly" Johnny said, patting Miguel's shoulder. "thanks man." Hawk put his jacket on.

Robby observed the jacket before putting it in his bag "I'll try it on later. don't wanna get it dirty too quickly" he says zipping his bag "Okay, enough with the jackets; we have to pack and get some last-minute training in," the sensei said, and they finished up what was needed to be done

Afterward, Robby got a ride from Miguel and Johnny. "So Robby, being captain, are you nervous for the competition?" Miguel asked, "Of course not. He's like an eagle waiting to devour the cobra. He's ready.".

Johnny said, entering the roadway close to where they live, "I am nervous. I won't lie. Being captain sounds difficult. You know high expectations, but I got it." At least he hoped, "Oh yeah, can you drop me off at y/n's, please? I just need to tell her about the flight and accommodations for the tournament and stuff."

Johnny proceeded to take him there, not second-guessing it. "You know, if you want 'quality time' with your girl before we leave in two days, you can just say so you know you can't cage the beast" Robby face palms himself. "Dad, can we not please?" 

"Yeah, sensei, I second that; please stop." Miguel joined in, asking him to stop soon. They had packed up to y/n's home, and Robby got out of the car. "Thanks; I'll see you guys tomorrow." He took his bag, and the car drove off.

Robby knocks on the door, and soon his girlfriend was at the door. "Robby! I haven't seen you in a while." I embrace him. "hey y/n, sorry I've been busy preparing for the tournament" he let go of her and shut the door "come on I was actually gonna get to bed, I was calling a early night my mom has guests over, book club gossip never rests" I led him upstairs.

"Sorry for the mess; I've been busy lately," I say, kicking a few water bottles out the way. "It's fine; trust me, my room is worse." He sat on my bed. "so you flying out in two days, excited?" I ask him as I sit next to him "only if you promise to be there" he gently nudged me with his shoulder "I will, I spoke to my mom and everything, I'd never miss it" he pecked my lips.

"So you know, with the whole tournament coming up, apparently Miguel wanted us to have team jackets," he said, taking out the stuffed jacket from his bag, and I clapped my hands happily. "Let's see, please." I took the jacket and admired it.

"Woah, babe, this is awesome, may I?" He gives a nod with a smile, and I put the jacket on. I look in the mirror. "This is so cool; I wish I had one." He looked at and admired the jacket. "and it's girlfriend sized" I tease "you know you look really good in it, probably better than I would" He stood up and came behind me and wrapped his hands around my waist "you like it?" I nod looking back at the mirror.

He kissed my ear and whispered, "I love it on you too." He kissed down my neck. I let a slow breath out, "Slow down, Romeo, my mom has guests over." I turned to him and kissed his cheek walking past him before he pulled me close to him and put his hands on my waist.

"You can be quiet, right?" He kissed me. "My good girl can be quiet." I pushed him back gently. "Robby don't baite me in" I looked at him, my mind trying not to go to those places. "Why not?, every athlete needs some relaxation princess."

"You better not make me regret this." He sat on the bed and pulled me on top of him. He pulled me into a heated kiss. "Mhm"

I lifted his shirt and tossed it aside. I kissed him from his neck down his torso. I got up and undressed. "Just leave the jacket," he said, sitting up on his elbows. "You sure?" he nodded. I comply, leaving on my underwear and the jacket. He leaned back near the headboard and once again pulled me onto him. "Youre so fucking perfect, baby," he kissed me and grabbed my hips.

I moved his hands to my rear and sat up slightly and put my hand to his chest. I faced him before moving my hips against him. "fuck just like that babe, just like that, that's a good girl" I moan softly "oh baby I can feel how soaked you are, is that for me? Mh?"

He groans into her ear "Yes" I say breathless "yes" He stops the motion and I whine "why'd you stop?" He smiled and moved from the bed, to my arm chair in the corner "you said your mom's home last thing I want is everyone listening to the headboard hit the wall, come here" I went to him and straddled him.

He kisses all over my chest, my head slumped over his shoulder enjoying the sensation "Be a good girl and slide those panties to the side for me" I follow his command wanting him desperately now

He pumps his fingers slowly inside me, I moaned softly before he pulled them out "don't do that" he looked at her with a grin "do what?" "Tease me, don't tease me, please" he rubs over my clit "fuck Robby" I whine "just like that" he stopped once again turning her over, her back against his chest. He releases himself from his pants and grinds me on his cock as he slowly rubbed my clit.

"Mhm Robby" he rubs slightly faster and I moan. "Keep going, please keep going" And with ease he slipped into me, I pulse around his cock "oh you feel good, so fucking good" he stopped his hand on my clit and moved them both to hold my legs wider so I could feel him deep.

I moaned out as my head falls back into his chest and I feel my hands clench and unclench "Mhm, hmm Robby fuck" he groaned through clenched teeth "Don't make me fucking gag that pretty mouth princess, be quiet" he quickened his pace and coos "that's right take me deep in that pussy"

"yes yes yes" I chant on, his hand went over my mouth "my princess can't keep quiet" his pace turning brutal "Shh, we can't be to loud" he knew he was about to come so he stopped. "No no" I mumble through his hand as he put her back on the bed "keep them open" I look at him as as I watched his warm mouth connect with my pussy.

My hand immediately goes to his hair pushing him harder against myself *he looked up at me while continuing to eat me out, I bit my lip trying to control my sounds "fuck, fuck that feels good" both my hands go to his head and in grind against his mouth desperate to come.

"Just- mhh- Robby!" He replaced his mouth with his fast paced fingers as his mouth met mine to silence my moans, my stomach clenched as my legs tremble "Come for me come for me my good girl" I give in coming over his fingers, he withdrew them and smacked my cunt, he re-entered with no warning

The new found sensitivity feeling so good but too much, he thrusts urgently "I'm not done yet baby not until I come on those tits" I grip his arm tightly as I moan loudly before he kissed me once more "fuck I'm close" he carried on thrusting "mhm, fuck yeah princess you feel fucking amazing" he groaned before pulling out and jerking over my chest coming all over it.

He catches his breath for a bit, he looked down on me and rub his come all over my chest and stomach like lotion. "You did so good princesses" he kissed her "let's get you cleaned up and in bed okay" I nod "okay".

Aaaahhh don't Gimme that side eye, literally my first story and the first time I write smut, I'll definitely try to improve.

[abyssalzones]

art summary for 2024 ^_^ just used a template I pulled off deviantart this time, maybe next year I'll feel up to making something a little fancier. (more talking below)

overall I'm very happy with all I've managed to accomplish this year (ignoring the college-shaped gap in the middle) but I'm really looking forward to getting more done in terms of my large-scale projects in 2025... for a while I thought I was going to leave art as a side hobby while becoming invested in a different career but realizing that was going to make me miserable for the rest of my life has really re-ignited my passion for art. I could potentially be someone other than an artist and a storyteller, but I don't want to be.

with that in mind I plan on expanding things irt my online presence because I've never been very good at.. "marketing" myself... and I don't know how much that will change since I enjoy having a little authentic place here on tumblr to post art and blog at the same time, but I do have plans to open a patreon soon and maybe start selling prints. patreon would mostly be a place where I put short "bonus" comics, I still want my comics to be largely accessible to the public but sometimes I draw stuff and think "nah I don't think the public should get this one for free." it'd also be a good way to give people glimpses of WIPs as I work on projects that take a lot of time.

speaking of WIPs, I really really really want to finish this big d&d&md comic some time in the next few months since I started it all the way back last summer and it's been waylaid by... my starting irl college. ironically.

it's one of my favorite comics I've made so far and I think it'd be a huge loss if I just let it languish or didn't bother to fully finish it the way I'd been intending to. it also has a cool wizard battle in it. so, that's neat I think.

finally I really want to work on escape velocity, particularly making it more accessible to people. I always find myself in this awkward position where I'm never really sure how to talk about something I've been working on for seven (eight??) years without giving away too much, or without sacrificing the time I'm spending on writing and eventually Drawing it to make promotional stuff that gets people interested. I'm still working on a solution for that but in the meantime I plan on finishing up the basic plot outlines for the first act, then once that's done and I've written up dialogue for the first chapter I can get to work on DRAWING. yay!!!!!

anyway, thank you to anyone who has supported me and enjoyed my art this year :] expect more to come... soon...

[stackslip]

like i'm all about critiquing the execution of 03's ending and how sloppy cos is as an actual conclusion bc there's stuff that can be excused (the rushed production and cancelled final season and how little time/money they had and how much stress they were under) and stuff that can't (i love terminarcher objectively but it is deeply silly; winry's arc should have been concluded; imo it could have been executed better as much as i love the themes and ever since i learned of the original plan to finish the show in liore again i have been dying about it; cos is frankly a disaster on the amestrian side and nothing about the way it treats roy and riza makes sense except that the military are fan favourites who HAD to be in the big budget shounen movie)

but you cannot, for the love of everything holy, tell me with a straight face that manga/brotherhood's ending is better, nevermind perfect. like is it all tied up neatly. yes it is and herein lies the issue, again, bc it's so desperate to be a good happy ever after for everyone that it chooses to ignores the most vile implications of many characters' fates and plot threads' endings just so the Designated Good Guys can get domestic married and roy can be a benevolent military dictator. i've even seen people say that bh's ending inherently values winry more because she gets married to ed and settles and has babies with him. and yknow for how fucking messy the ending of 03 is, and how much of a weird mixed bag of a follow-up cos is too, for how out of context it SOUNDS weird but really if you've actually been following the plot and themes it fits perfectly, the ending to 03 is actually thematically coherent with its themes from the very beginning and drives home all its most salient points as hard as it can.

like sure the ending to brotherhood is much simpler and effective but you think about it for more than like five minutes and want to throw up. roy uses the souls of ishbalans to heal his eyes and becomes the fucking führer. ed and al have done nothing wrong ever. all the evil of the amestrian military comes from this Big Alien Bad Guy who Just Felt Powerless and when he's gone amestris is now a benevolent society that just happens to use ishbal as a frontier colony. scar wails and sobs about how evil he was for killing the people who actively participated in the genocide of his people while being scowled by an amestrian soldier. winry gets a domestic het ending. ling is gonna be cool emperor now and i guess mei can just deal with it. did any of the women ever really matter bc i keep being told brotherhood is a feminist masterpiece but what do any of them do besides return to the status quo with their boyfriend/husband/master or get domesticated and then olivier keeps being a fascist girlboss i guess. yay happy ending and don't you dare think about it deep it's not THAT deep, says the same crowd that calls og fma an anti imperialist masterpiece and a perfect series

meanwhile no matter how much 03 stumbles it legitimately feels like it's taking a look at all of these contradictions within the manga and slowly strangles them to death while looking you dead in the eye. THERE IS NO WAR THAT DOES NOT CONCERN US, ALCHEMY AND YOUR VISION OF PROGRESS ARE BASED ON MASS DEATH AND ATROCITIES, YOU CANT SAVE THE WORLD SINGLE HANDEDLY BUT THAT IS NO EXCUSE FOR NOT FACING THAT WORLD FOR WHAT IT IS AND STILL CHOOSING TO TRY TO MAKE IT A LITTLE BETTER. and then i have to hear all about how grimdark and supposedly lacking in hope it is when it literally ends on the realization that you cannot separate yourself from the world or ignore its issues you have a duty to it and it is bigger than your dreams or selfishness. anyhow

[bloodpatternblue]

Picture this...

You just finished reading a fic(maybe a chapter, maybe the whole thing), and you want to leave the author a comment.

But something is stopping you. And you have no clue what to comment. What to do?

Here are some common things I often hear that stop people from commenting. (Feel free to copy and paste, mutate, or defile my ideas).

1 - I can't articulate what I want to say

"I'm speechless right now. Brain dead, but mind happy. Thank you for this wonderful story/chapter"

"Holy fuck!"

"Words escape me, but please know, this hit me in ways I'm having trouble describing."

"Why, WHYYYYYYYY did you do this to meeeee?"

"This was amazing. At this moment, I have a bunch of unrecognisable emotions impacting me and turning me mute."

"I'm terrible at articulating myself right now, I just wanted to say well done and thank you."

"I need a whole week to process this."

"Omg. No words, only emotions."

"Speechless, utterly speechless."

"Fuck you (kindly), I need more."

"Thank you for sharing. I'm having trouble putting the right words into a sentence. But please know I enjoyed it."

"I'm dead. On the floor, DEAD."

"I can't right now 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 what!!!"

"I'm actually so stunned I've lost all connection to my brain."

"AHHHHHHHGGAHSGGJDJDNAVVZJFJSJSHDJJDJD *this was my face smashing the keyboard*"

"I binged this so hard my brain fried. ❤️"

"You've actually murdered me with this amazing fic. RIP"

2 - I'm shy and I don't want the author to feel like I'm weird/strange/annoying

"Wow, just wow! Thank you"

"❤️❤️❤️"

"🥹"

"This was awesome. Thank you."

"I can't believe what I just read was for free. It was amazing. Thank you."

"I can't wait for more, this is one of my favs!"

"Every time I get an update for this, I click the link so fast!"

"Yay an update! Thank you."

"I love this fic sm"

"Just a quick comment to say well done, and thank you for sharing."

"This fic always brightens my day."

"😍❤️"

"This was fantastic 👏"

"I always love your updates! Great chapter."

"WWWWWOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW <3"

"Omg, I'm blushing, great job."

"I can't get enough of these two/three/four. You always deliver."

"Love your writing!"

"I can't get enough of this fic."

"Great update 👏"

"Thank you for the update, I enjoyed it."

"Yes, this made my day"

"Just a quick comment to say thank you."

3 - I'm tired, but I want to be unhinged

"Politely, go fuck yourself amazing author. Everytime you get me with these updates and I keep coming back like a chump. Thank you for feeding me."

"I am forever at your feet, nibbling on whatever morsels you drop to me. Seriously, I am so excited/tainted/unhinged/obsessed/horny for this."

"What the fuck. How do you even think of this amazing stuff? WHERE DOES IT COME FROM, TELL MEEEEEE? Thank you for the update 🙌"

"From me to you, lovingly, how dare you do this to me? I won't beg for it. You want me to, don't you? Well I won't. I have morals, and values. I won't degrade m- OKAY, I'LL FUCKING BEG. Please, please, please, pleaseeeee I need more *rolling on the floor in feral position."

"My heart is telling me to be kind. My brain is out for your blood. Thank you, kind author, for finally breaking me."

"NOoooOoooooOOOOoooooOooooooOooooOoooOOOOOOOOO"

(Australian edit) "NnAaaAauUuuuUuWwrrRrReeEiiiggGghh"

"*rubs forehead* I promised myself I wouldn't get invested. I knew that you would do this, you evil, evil author. But here I am, 3am, in tears, regretting the day I ever clicked on this fic. I am so codependent on this fic. You have no idea. Update immediately, or I may have to go to the hospital to be sedated. Honestly though, great job, best chapter yet."

"This is the ghost of (commenter), I would just like you to know I died, and my family will charge my funeral expenses to you. Since you are the one who killed me."

"It's well past my bedtime, and I am actually growing braincells by reading this magnificent fic."

4 - I commented feedback once and the author went off on me

Note: It's hard to give feedback without knowing the person. It might be good to point out what you did like about their writing, so they do more of it. Or be curious about the direction or choices the author is making

"I really enjoyed the part where (describe), you did a great job showing the emotion, I felt as if I was there with them. Great work."

"This line (quote) was amazing/hilarious/superb/your best yet"

"AAAAHHHHDJDGSSGZGSGS, When they (a certain part of the chapter) I lost my damn mind! Amazing job getting the visceral reaction from me. More like this pleeease 😆"

"I really thought (scenario, or reaction) was going to happen, but you surprised me. I'm curious to see where this goes."

"This chapter slapped! It was concise and engaging. Well done."

What other ideas, reasons, or situations have you unable to leave a comment? Let me know, I'll update it.

Edit 1 -

Floating comment box for noting your reactions as you read.

[leeknot]

Ꭺ Ꮒꫀᥲɾt Ꮒꫀᥣd Ꮯᥲρtเ᥎ꫀ

A/N: Yay, I finally finished this oneshot, and I'm so happy to share it with you all! I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It’s always such a fun journey to bring these stories to life, and I’m grateful for your support! Thank you for taking the time to read, and I can’t wait to hear what you think! Don’t forget to leave a comment if you enjoyed it – it means so much to me! ♡

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Pairing : psychology professor Jay × student reader

Warnings : makeout sesh , jay is obsessed(like he literally kidnaps her and all that) , reader tries to kill herself

Summary : In this dark and intense psychology-themed story, you, the reader, are a student who becomes entangled with Professor Jay. After a passionate makeout session, you hesitate to take things further, causing Jay to spiral into an obsessive obsession with you. His fixation grows unhealthy, leading him to kidnap you, unable to accept your boundaries. Trapped and desperate, you eventually reach a breaking point and attempt to end your life as a way to escape his suffocating control.

────୨ৎ────

Professor Jay stood at the front of the classroom, his back to the students as he wrote on the whiteboard. He was a renowned psychology professor, known for his strict but fair teaching methods. The students respected him, and he had a way of making even the most difficult subjects seem interesting.

"I expect your papers on Freud's theories by next week," he announced, turning to face the class. His eyes scanned the room, landing briefly on each student. Suddenly, his gaze paused on you, sitting there in the fifth row, nervously chewing on your pencil.

Jay's gaze lingered on you for just a moment longer than necessary, a flicker of something unreadable passing through his eyes before he continued. "Office hours are Tuesday and Thursday, for those who need extra guidance."

As the class dispersed, you found yourself lingering by your desk, fiddling with your textbook. You couldn't shake the feeling that Professor Jay had been looking at you strangely. Just as you were about to leave, you heard his voice behind you.

"Stay," he commanded, his voice low and authoritative. You turned to see him standing in the doorway, his suit jacket hanging open. He closed the door behind him, locking it with a loud click. He approached you, his steps measured and deliberate.

"I've noticed your work in class," he said, stopping just inches away. His cologne, a mix of sandalwood and something deeper, surrounded you. "You have a unique perspective. I think you could benefit from some... personal tutoring."

Your heart raced as you found yourself trapped between Professor Jay's imposing figure and the desk, his proximity making it difficult to breathe normally. "Personal tutoring?" you managed to squeak out, glancing between his intense eyes and the locked door.

Jay chuckled lowly, amusement glinting in his eyes as he observed your nervousness. "Don't worry, I'm not suggesting anything inappropriate," he lied smoothly, leaning in just a fraction closer. The tip of his nose nearly brushed your temple as he spoke in a conspiratorial whisper.

Unable to help yourself, you shivered slightly at Jay's closeness, the heat radiating off his body palpable in the intimate space between you. Your eyes flitted to his lips as he spoke, hanging onto his every word even as your mind raced with unbidden thoughts of exactly what kind of "personal tutoring".

He pulled back just enough to lock eyes with you, a knowing smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "Though, if you're up for a little... extra credit," he murmured, his voice velvet and dark promise,

You swallowed hard, your mouth suddenly dry. "Extra credit?" you echoed, trying to sound nonchalant despite the pounding of your heart. Jay's gaze held yours, his eyes gleaming with a secret understanding.

"Mmm, yes. Like... helping me with some... late-night research." One hand brushed against your lower back, barely a touch, but enough to send a jolt through your entire body. "The university library gets quite... lonely after hours. Wouldn't you agree?"

Your breath caught as Jay's fingertips lingered on your back, his touch electric even through your clothing. The suggestive undertones of his words hung heavy in the air between you, dripping with unspoken possibilities. You licked your dry lips nervously, unable to tear your gaze away from his hypnotic eyes.

"You're right, we probably shouldn't," Jay whispered, his face inching closer to yours, his breath mingling with yours. "It would be crossing a line... As professor and student..." His hand slid lower, resting on your waist possessively.

Despite your better judgment screaming warnings, you found yourself leaning into Jay's touch, your resolve weakening with each passing second. "We really shouldn't, but..." you breathed, your voice trembling slightly as you gazed into his penetrating eyes, "maybe'shouldn't' is exactly what makes it so tempting."

Jay's smile grew, his lips curling up in a sinful grin as he pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around your waist. "Damn right it is," he murmured, his lips brushing against yours in a feather-light kiss.

Your heart raced wildly as Jay's lips feathered against yours, the tantalizing promise of forbidden fruit. Closing your eyes, you surrendered to temptation, your own lips parting to deepen the kiss.

His hand slid up to tangle in your hair while the other pulled you closer, pressing your bodies together. The kiss grew more passionate, more demanding, as if he'd been waiting all semester to taste you like this. You could feel his desire pressing against you, making your head spin and your knees weak.

Pulling back slightly, Jay gazed at you with smoldering eyes, a wicked grin playing at the corners of his mouth. "Perhaps we should continue this discussion somewhere more... private," he suggested, his voice low and gravelly with barely restrained lust.

"Your place or mine?" he whispered, trailing kisses down your neck, "I have a bottle of wine chilling..." His hand traced the curve of your breast through your blouse, making you gasp softly. "Or we could skip the wine and move straight to dessert..."

"Jay," you panted, placing a hand on his chest to create some distance between you two. "As much as I want to, we can't. It's not just a line we're crossing, it's a mile of them. I'm your student, and you're my professor."

Jay's grin faltered slightly, but he didn't let go of you. "I know, I know," he sighed, rubbing his thumb over your lower lip. "But damn, you're so tempting. I swear, every time you open that mouth of yours, I want to kiss you silly."

"We can't," you repeated firmly, stepping back out of his grasp. "It's unethical and I could get in serious trouble. You could lose your job, Jay. We can't risk it." Your expression turned pained.

Jay's eyes darkened with frustration and desire as he watched you step back, his hands falling limp to his sides. He nodded slowly, a rueful smile tugging at his lips. "You're right, of course," he conceded, though his gaze still raked over your body hungrily.

Jay unlocked the door with a heavy sigh, the click echoing through the room. He watched as you turned and walked out, the door closing softly behind you. He leaned his forehead against the door, cursing under his breath. "Damn it."

The days after you left Jay’s office were suffocating. He tried to go about his lectures as usual, but his thoughts were consumed by your tear-streaked face as you stormed out. The chair you used to sit in during his lectures now felt glaringly empty, a black hole that sucked all his focus away. It wasn’t just guilt gnawing at him—it was something darker, more possessive.

He should have let you go. You made it clear you wanted space, but the way you avoided him in class, the cold silence you maintained, made his chest ache. He told himself it wasn’t fair; you didn’t get to walk into his life, ignite something within him, and then leave like he was disposable.

Jay started keeping tabs on you. He justified it as concern, but deep down, he knew it was more than that.

He began small. Scanning your social media profiles for hints of what you were doing, where you were going, and who you were spending time with. Every photo you posted, every comment you left—it all became clues in the puzzle of you. He memorized your schedule, ensuring he’d be "coincidentally" walking past your usual spots on campus.

One evening, as he sat alone in his dimly lit apartment, Jay found himself staring at a notebook. It wasn’t his. It was yours. You’d left it behind during one of your study sessions, and he’d kept it. At first, he reasoned it was accidental, but now it felt like a lifeline. He flipped through the pages, running his fingers over your handwriting.

Your words felt intimate, like they were written just for him.

"I don’t know what I feel for him... but it’s overwhelming," you’d scribbled in the margins of one of your psychology notes. Jay’s breath hitched. Did you mean him? His mind raced, trying to connect the dots. He wanted to believe you did.

His obsession grew insidious. He started tailoring his lectures to you, throwing in subtle references to things he knew would catch your attention. He wanted you to notice him again. But when that wasn’t enough, Jay began orchestrating ways to corner you.

One particular afternoon, as you left the library, you felt a shadow following you. Turning around, you saw Jay standing there, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat, looking almost vulnerable.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” he said softly, his voice carrying an edge of desperation.

“I told you we needed distance,” you replied, trying to keep your tone steady.

He stepped closer, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your stomach churn. “You think I can just forget what happened between us? You think I can erase you from my mind that easily?”

His words made your heart race, but not in the way they used to. “Professor, this isn’t healthy. You’re crossing boundaries—”

Jay cut you off, his voice dropping to a near whisper. “Boundaries? You broke those the moment you walked into my life. You don’t get to leave me like this.”

The look in his eyes sent a chill down your spine. It wasn’t love—it was obsession.

You took a cautious step back, but Jay matched it with a step forward. His presence felt suffocating, and the usual calm demeanor he wore was cracking at the edges.

“Professor Park,” you began, voice shaking, “I don’t want to escalate this. Please, let me go.”

His lips twisted into something between a smile and a grimace. “Let you go?” he echoed, almost mockingly. “You don’t understand, do you? I can’t let you go.”

Jay’s fingers twitched at his sides as if restraining himself from reaching out to you. “You think I don’t notice the way you avoid me? The way you flinch when you see me in the hallway? But it’s fine,” he murmured, almost to himself. “It’s all temporary. You’ll come back to me.”

Your blood ran cold at the conviction in his voice. “No, I won’t,” you said firmly, forcing yourself to meet his gaze. “Whatever this is—it’s not right. I won’t be part of it anymore.”

The resolve in your tone seemed to snap something in him. His jaw clenched, and his hands balled into fists. “Not right?” he repeated, almost bitterly. “You’re the one who came to me, who looked at me like I was the only one who understood you. You don’t get to rewrite the story now just because you’re scared of what we have.”

“This isn’t a story, Jay. It’s a mistake.” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

The words hit him like a slap. For a moment, he froze, his expression unreadable. Then, slowly, he tilted his head, his eyes narrowing. “A mistake,” he repeated softly, like he was testing the word on his tongue.

You took that moment to turn and walk away, your heart pounding in your chest. But his voice stopped you in your tracks.

“You can try to run,” he called out, his tone eerily calm, “but I’ll always find you. You’re mine, and you’ll realize it sooner or later.”

The days that followed were nerve-wracking. Everywhere you went, it felt like Jay was there, watching you. At first, you thought it was paranoia, but the evidence was undeniable. A glance across the cafeteria revealed him sitting at a table, his eyes boring into yours. A walk to the library ended with him standing outside, pretending to be engrossed in his phone.

Then came the messages.

At first, they were innocuous:

"I hope you’re doing well."

"I miss our conversations."

But they quickly turned more unsettling:

"Do you ever think about me the way I think about you?"

"You can’t hide from me forever."

You blocked his number, but the emails started next. Every time you opened your inbox, there was a new message waiting, each one more desperate than the last.

One evening, as you sat in your room, your phone buzzed with an unknown number. Against your better judgment, you picked up, your voice trembling as you said, “Hello?”

Silence.

Then, his voice, low and filled with something unnameable: “You’re making this harder than it needs to be.”

“Jay, leave me alone!” you snapped, your voice breaking.

But he didn’t. “I can’t,” he whispered, and you could hear the faint tremor in his voice. “Don’t you see, I’m doing this for us? For you? No one will ever care about you the way I do.”

Your hands shook as you ended the call, your breaths coming in sharp gasps. You knew you couldn’t handle this alone anymore. It was time to take action before his obsession spiraled even further out of control.

Jay’s obsession grew like a wildfire, consuming every rational thought and leaving only his unrelenting fixation on you.

He started following you—not blatantly, but enough to know your routines. When you went to the library, he’d sit a few tables away, pretending to read. When you walked across campus, he stayed just far enough behind to avoid suspicion. He memorized your habits: the café you frequented, the times you went to class, even the route you took home.

It wasn’t enough. Watching wasn’t enough.

Jay’s apartment became a shrine.

Every little piece of you that he could collect found its place. The notebook you’d left behind sat on his desk, surrounded by printed screenshots of your social media posts. He had photos of you—some from your profile, others he’d secretly taken during lectures or when you weren’t looking.

He’d pinned your class notes to his wall, scribbling his own thoughts in the margins:

"She’s brilliant."

"She needs me."

"No one will ever love her the way I do."

Every night, he sat at his desk, poring over these relics of you. Sometimes, he’d whisper your name, imagining how you’d respond if you were there with him. Other times, he’d write long letters he never sent, pouring out his feelings in a chaotic jumble of devotion and desperation.

His lectures suffered.

Students began noticing his erratic behavior. He’d lose his train of thought mid-sentence, staring blankly at the room before mumbling something incoherent. Sometimes, he’d bring up topics that seemed strangely personal, talking about love, betrayal, and the pain of longing.

It was obvious his mind was elsewhere—on you.

Then he started pushing boundaries.

He found your dorm room number and left a small, carefully wrapped gift outside your door: a book on psychology, one he knew you’d once mentioned wanting to read. Inside was a handwritten note:

"For you. Always thinking of you."

The next day, when you didn’t acknowledge it, he sent an email.

"Did you like the book? I thought of you the moment I saw it."

When you didn’t respond, he grew more restless. He needed to see you, to talk to you, to make you understand how much he cared.

Late one night, Jay sat in his dark apartment, staring at your social media profile.

You’d posted a photo—just a simple picture of your coffee cup and an open book. But to Jay, it was a message. She’s thinking about me, he convinced himself. This is her way of reaching out.

He couldn’t stop himself. He grabbed his phone and called you.

The sound of your voice, even just saying “Hello?” in confusion, sent a shiver down his spine.

“It’s me,” he said, his voice trembling with emotion.

You hesitated. “Professor Park? Why are you calling me?”

“I just… I needed to hear your voice,” he admitted, his words spilling out like a confession. “You don’t understand how much you mean to me. I can’t stop thinking about you, Y/N. You’re everywhere, in everything I do.”

“Jay, this is inappropriate—”

“No!” he interrupted, his tone turning frantic. “This isn’t just about the classroom, or some silly rules. This is real. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You… you’re my everything.”

His words made your skin crawl. “This needs to stop,” you said firmly, your voice shaking. “Don’t contact me again.”

You hung up before he could reply, leaving him in stunned silence.

But Jay didn’t stop.

He convinced himself you were scared, unsure of your feelings. He had to prove to you that you were meant to be together. The line between love and obsession blurred completely, and all he could think about was finding a way to keep you close—forever.

Jay’s obsession spiraled further, consuming every waking moment and seeping into his dreams. Every thought, every action, every breath revolved around you.

It started with more invasive actions.

He began lingering near your dorm, finding excuses to be close. He’d sit on a bench nearby, pretending to scroll through his phone, but his eyes never left your window. He started timing his arrival so he could see the faint glow of your lamp flickering on at night, convincing himself that it was a sign you were thinking of him.

When he noticed you’d started locking your social media profiles, he grew frustrated. It was a barrier, a wall between you two that he couldn’t stand. He created a new account, posing as a fellow student, and sent you a request. When you accepted, oblivious to who it really was, Jay felt triumphant.

Now, he could monitor your posts again. Every status update, every photo, every interaction with friends became something for him to analyze. If a male friend commented, Jay’s mind raced with jealousy. He imagined scenarios of them taking you away from him, and it made his blood boil.

His apartment transformed further into a delusional haven.

Jay started recreating your life in his space. He bought candles that smelled like the ones you’d mentioned liking. He found a secondhand copy of a book you were reading and left sticky notes in the margins, writing messages as though he was speaking directly to you. “This part reminds me of us,” he’d write, smiling to himself.

He even stole a scarf you’d left in class once and kept it on his pillow, breathing in its faint scent every night before he fell asleep.

But even these tokens weren’t enough. He needed something more tangible, something to make him feel closer to you.

One night, Jay followed you home.

He stayed far enough back that you didn’t notice, his hood pulled low over his face. When you entered your building, he waited outside, staring up at the windows until he saw your shadow move behind the curtains.

The next day, he returned to your building, slipping past the front door as another resident exited. He found your mailbox and slipped a handwritten note inside.

"Y/N,

You’re so beautiful, even when you don’t see me watching. I know you’re scared, but we’re meant to be together. Please, let me show you how much I care."

When you found it, your heart sank. You didn’t know how he’d managed to find your address, but the realization that he was watching you this closely sent shivers down your spine.

Jay’s paranoia grew alongside his obsession.

He became convinced that someone was standing in the way of your connection. A friend? A family member? He started researching everyone you interacted with, keeping notes on them like he was building a case. If they were too close to you, he considered them a threat.

One afternoon, he saw you laughing with a male classmate outside the library. His chest tightened painfully as jealousy and rage twisted in his gut. That night, he couldn’t sleep, replaying the moment over and over in his head.

“Doesn’t she see? I’m the only one who truly understands her.” he muttered to himself, pacing his apartment.

Then came the breaking point.

Jay began leaving more gifts outside your door—flowers, notes, small trinkets he thought you’d love. When you started throwing them away without acknowledging him, he grew desperate.

Late one night, he returned to your dorm building. This time, he wasn’t content to leave something outside. His hand shook as he pressed the buzzer for your apartment.

When your tired voice answered through the intercom, he felt a sick thrill run through him.

“Y/N, it’s me,” he said, his voice low and strained. “Please, I just want to talk.”

“What are you doing here?” you demanded, panic rising in your chest.

“I had to see you,” he said, his voice trembling. “You’ve been ignoring me, and I can’t take it anymore. I need to explain, to make you understand how much I love you.”

“You need to leave, Jay,” you said firmly, but he heard the fear in your voice. It only fueled his delusion.

“You don’t mean that,” he whispered. “You’re just scared. I’ll wait for you to calm down.”

He didn’t leave. Hours passed as he sat outside, waiting, his mind spiraling further into darkness.

Jay’s obsession reached its breaking point, leaving him unable to distinguish between right and wrong. In his mind, the only way to truly protect you, to make you see how much he loved you, was to take you away from everything he believed was corrupting you.

The night of the kidnapping was carefully planned.

Jay had spent days watching you, learning your routines. He knew exactly when you’d be alone, when the streets around your dorm were quiet. That night, he waited in the shadows near the library, his heart pounding as he clutched a bag containing duct tape, a scarf, and a small bottle of chloroform.

When you finally appeared, headphones on and a book tucked under your arm, you didn’t notice him until it was too late.

“Y/N,” he said softly, stepping out of the shadows.

Startled, you turned to see him standing there, his eyes wild and glinting in the dim light. “Jay? What are you—”

Before you could finish, he lunged, one hand pressing a cloth soaked in chloroform against your mouth. Your struggles were frantic but brief as the world blurred and faded into darkness.

When you woke, everything was different.

Your head throbbed as you blinked against the harsh light of a single lamp. The room was unfamiliar, small, and sterile, with bare walls and a faint scent of candles. You were tied to a chair, your wrists bound tightly behind your back. Panic surged through you as you struggled against the restraints.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” Jay’s voice came from behind you, soft yet unnervingly calm. He stepped into view, crouching in front of you with a look of tender concern.

“Jay, let me go.” you demanded, your voice trembling.

He shook his head, a sad smile on his lips. “I can’t do that, Y/N. Don’t you see? This is the only way. I had to get you away from all the people poisoning your mind, keeping us apart.”

“Keeping us apart?” you repeated, your voice rising. “This is insane! You’ve kidnapped me!”

Jay flinched but quickly composed himself, his expression softening as he reached out to brush a strand of hair from your face. You turned away, disgusted.

“You’ll understand in time,” he said gently. “I’ve created a space just for us. No distractions, no outside influences. Here, we can finally be together, just as we’re meant to be.”

The room was a horrifying reflection of his obsession.

The walls were covered with pictures of you—some from your social media, others clearly taken without your knowledge. Your favorite books and trinkets were arranged on shelves, and there was even a playlist of your favorite songs playing softly in the background.

Tears filled your eyes as the weight of the situation sank in. “This isn’t love, Jay. This is sick. You need help.”

He frowned, his brows knitting together in frustration. “I don’t need help. I need you. You’re the only thing that makes sense in my life, Y/N. Why can’t you see that?”

“I’ll never love you.” you said, your voice firm despite the fear in your chest.

His face twisted in pain, but the determination in his eyes only grew stronger. “You say that now, but I’ll show you. I’ll prove that no one will ever love you the way I do.”

Jay’s obsession escalated in captivity.

Days passed, and Jay became more unhinged. He brought you food, books, and clothes, acting as though you were a guest rather than a prisoner. He spoke to you constantly, weaving a delusional narrative of how you’d grow to love him.

When you refused to eat or speak, he became desperate, pacing the room and muttering to himself. “Why won’t she understand? Why is she still fighting this?”

But his moods were unpredictable. Sometimes, he’d snap, his voice rising as he accused you of trying to leave him. Other times, he’d collapse into tears, begging you to forgive him, promising he’d never hurt you.

Days turned into a nightmare as Jay’s grip on reality deteriorated further.

Jay’s attempts to normalize the situation only deepened the horror.

He would sit across from you during meals, talking as if you were a willing participant. “I know it’s not perfect yet,” he’d say, his voice soft, “but I’m working on it. Soon, you’ll see how much better life can be without all those distractions.”

You refused to eat, glaring at him in silence. It didn’t deter him; he only grew more determined. “I’ll wait as long as it takes,” he said one evening, his eyes dark with resolve. “I know you’re scared, but that’s okay. I’ll help you see the truth.”

One night, you tried to escape.

While Jay slept on the couch in the next room, you quietly worked at the ropes binding your wrists, using the sharp edge of a hidden nail on the chair. Your heart raced as the fibers began to fray. After what felt like hours, you finally freed one hand and untied the rest of your restraints.

You crept toward the door, careful not to make a sound. But just as you reached for the handle, the floor creaked under your weight.

“Y/N?” Jay’s voice called out, laced with panic.

You bolted, flinging the door open and sprinting down the dimly lit hallway. Your pulse thundered in your ears as you reached the staircase, but before you could descend, Jay caught up to you.

“Don’t!” he yelled, grabbing your arm and yanking you back. His grip was ironclad, his eyes wide with desperation. “You can’t leave me! You’ll be hurt out there without me!”

“Let me go!” you screamed, struggling against him, but his strength overpowered yours.

He pulled you back into the room, locking the door behind him. Tears streamed down his face as he paced in front of you, his hands trembling.

“Why would you do that?” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I’ve done everything for you. I’ve kept you safe, given you everything you could want, and you still want to leave?”

The facade of control crumbled.

Jay’s behavior became more erratic after your escape attempt. He talked to himself more often, his words a mix of anger, fear, and self-reassurance. “She doesn’t understand now, but she will,” he muttered, pacing back and forth. “She has to.”

He started keeping you tied to the chair, even while he was in the room. “I can’t risk losing you,” he said, almost apologetically. “You’re too important to me.”

His delusions deepened. He began to believe that your resistance was part of a test, a way for you to prove your devotion to him. “This is how love works,” he told you one evening, his eyes alight with a manic fervor. “We have to fight for it, no matter how hard it gets.”

The breaking point loomed.

Jay’s obsession consumed him entirely, and you knew his behavior was becoming increasingly dangerous. He spoke of drastic measures, of leaving the city together and starting fresh somewhere no one could find you.

“I’ve been looking into cabins in the mountains,” he said one evening, a wistful smile on his face. “We could be so happy there, away from everyone and everything.”

Your heart sank. You realized this was your last chance to act. If you didn’t escape soon, there was no telling how far Jay would go to keep you by his side.

The cabin was eerily quiet, surrounded by dense trees that blocked out the world beyond.

Jay had driven for hours, the sound of tires crunching over gravel the only noise as you sat in stunned silence in the passenger seat. The ropes around your wrists had been replaced with zip ties, cutting into your skin every time you shifted.

When the car finally stopped, you glanced out the window to see a small, weathered cabin, nestled in the woods. Jay stepped out, opening your door with a soft smile that sent shivers down your spine.

“We’re here.” he said gently, as if this were some romantic getaway instead of an act of pure madness.

Inside the cabin, Jay was unsettlingly calm.

He had prepared everything in advance. The single room was furnished with a bed, a small table, and a stove, all surrounded by items that screamed his obsession. Photos of you decorated the walls, your favorite books were stacked neatly on the table, and a blanket you’d once left behind in class was draped over the couch.

“Do you like it?” he asked, his eyes wide with anticipation. “I made this for us. A place where we can finally be together without anyone interfering.”

You swallowed hard, forcing your voice to remain steady. “Jay, you can’t keep me here. This isn’t love. This is wrong.”

His expression faltered for a moment, but he quickly replaced it with a soft smile. “I know it feels strange now, but in time, you’ll understand. You’ve been surrounded by people who don’t value you the way I do. They don’t see how special you are. But I do.”

The conversation grew more intense as the hours passed.

Jay sat across from you at the table, his elbows resting on the surface as he leaned closer. His voice was calm, but the desperation in his eyes betrayed him.

“You don’t understand how much I’ve sacrificed for you,” he said, his tone almost pleading. “I’ve given up everything—my career, my reputation—because I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you.”

“You didn’t have to sacrifice anything,” you replied, your voice trembling with frustration. “I never asked for this, Jay. I never wanted this.”

His jaw clenched, and he looked down at the table, his hands gripping the edge tightly. “You say that now because you’ve been conditioned to think this is wrong. But deep down, I know you care about me. I’ve seen the way you look at me, the way you listen to me in class. There’s something between us, Y/N. I know there is.”

You shook your head, tears brimming in your eyes. “What you’re feeling isn’t love, Jay. It’s obsession. And it’s destroying both of us.”

Jay’s mask began to crack.

He stood abruptly, pacing the room with frantic energy. “Why can’t you see it? I’ve done everything for you! I’ve shown you how much I care, how much I’m willing to give. What more do you want from me?”

“I want my freedom,” you said firmly, your voice cutting through his rant. “I want to go home. I want my life back.”

He stopped in his tracks, turning to face you with a look of pure anguish. “You are my home, Y/N. You’re my life. Without you, I have nothing.”

The conversation turned into a battle of wills.

As the hours stretched on, you tried to reason with him, to make him see the damage he was causing. But every word you spoke seemed to push him further into his delusion.

“You’re just scared,” he said, his voice softening as he knelt in front of you. “You’ve been hurt before, haven’t you? That’s why you’re resisting. But I’ll never hurt you, Y/N. I’ll take care of you. I’ll protect you from everything.”

“This is hurting me,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “Can’t you see that?”

For a moment, he hesitated. A flicker of doubt crossed his face, but it was quickly replaced by that same unrelenting determination.

“You’ll thank me one day,” he said, his voice barely audible. “You’ll see that this was all for us.”

The cabin felt suffocating, each breath heavy with the tension of your captivity. Jay’s presence was constant, his eyes always lingering on you, waiting for you to acknowledge the twisted reality he had built for the two of you. The room, with its eerie calm and suffocating silence, made your heart race.

You sat at the small table, your hands folded tightly in your lap, eyes cast downward as Jay sat across from you, rambling on about how perfect everything would be once you adjusted to the life he’d planned. His words felt like nails on a chalkboard, a constant drone that filled the space but never reached your heart.

The weight of it all—his obsession, his twisted love—felt unbearable.

Your voice was quiet, but it broke through the haze of Jay's words.

“Jay… can I go to the bathroom?”

He blinked, momentarily taken aback by the simple request. For a second, there was a flicker of suspicion in his eyes, but it faded quickly. He’d been so sure of his control, so convinced that you would eventually accept him, that he didn’t hesitate.

“Of course,” he said softly. “It’s right down the hall. Don’t try to run.”

You nodded, keeping your expression neutral. Inside, you felt a surge of desperation. You hadn’t planned this moment, but you couldn’t bear another second in this suffocating cabin, this prison.

The bathroom door clicked shut behind you, and the moment of solitude was all you needed.

You turned to face the small, dimly lit room, your pulse pounding in your ears. The mirror above the sink reflected a face you barely recognized—your eyes were hollow, the weariness of captivity etched into your features. But it wasn’t the face that mattered now.

It was the sharp edge of the old razor blade that you spotted on the edge of the counter, something Jay had clearly overlooked.

Your hands trembled as you picked it up, the cold metal against your fingertips grounding you for a moment. You looked at the reflection of your own eyes, barely able to hold back the tears. This wasn’t the life you had wanted. This wasn’t freedom. Jay’s obsession had suffocated you, and the only escape seemed to be this.

As you held the blade to your skin, a cold calm washed over you.

You thought about the world beyond these walls—friends, family, the life you’d had. You thought about the pain Jay had caused, how his love had twisted into something dark and suffocating. You thought about the fear, the helplessness, and the deep, gnawing sorrow that had taken root inside you.

This was your way out.

With a deep breath, you pressed the razor to your wrist, the sharp sting of it a fleeting relief. But as the blood began to trickle down your arm, something inside you began to shift. The numbness you’d felt began to crack, replaced by a sharp, painful clarity.

The sound of footsteps outside the door sent your heart into a panic.

You couldn’t let him find you like this. You couldn’t let him ruin this last moment of control. Your hand shook as you pressed the cloth from the sink against your wrist, trying to stanch the bleeding.

But the door suddenly opened with a creak.

“Y/N?” Jay’s voice called, his tone too calm, too controlled. He had been watching you through the crack in the door, waiting. When he saw the blood, his eyes widened in shock, then narrowed in something darker, possessive.

“No!” He shouted, rushing to your side, his hands gripping your shoulders tightly. “You don’t get to do this, Y/N. You don’t get to do this, Y/N. You don't get to leave me!"

For a moment, it was a battle for control.

Jay's fingers dug into your skin as he pulled you away from the sink, his breath ragged and wild. "I told you, I won't let you go. I won't lose you!" His voice cracked, a mix of fury and desperation.

"You don't understand," you whispered through the tears, your breath coming in shallow gasps. "This isn't love, Jay. It never was.”

Jay's face contorted in anguish, as though your words cut deeper than anything else. "I can't lose you," he repeated, his voice trembling with the force of his need. "I need you. Please."

His hands shook as he reached for the wound on your wrist, trying to stop the blood with his own shirt. The sight of you in pain seemed to break him, but it wasn't a break for the better. It was a spiral deeper into his obsession.

Jay's grip tightened on your wrist as he lifted you off the floor.

"I won't let you die," he said, his voice low and broken. "You're mine. I'm the only one who can protect you. You'll see. You'll see how much I love you."

His words were incoherent as he lifted you back into the main room of the cabin, his gaze unfocused, consumed by his need. He didn't care about your pain-he cared about controlling you, about keeping you locked away where no one could take you from him.

The moment of escape had slipped through your fingers.

The thought that had given you some semblance of hope, of release, vanished in an instant as Jay's delusions wrapped tighter around you.

"You'll be safe with me, Y/N," he whispered, his voice eerily calm again, as he forced you back into the chair. "I won't let you go. I'll never let you go."

────୨ৎ────

[scarisd3ad]

To the end and back | Daryl Dixon x reader

Chapter twenty six | I love you, I’m sorry

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Warnings - ANGST! Guns, and shooting, Death, mentions of sex, cursing, usual twd warnings

Summary - after the world ended you were sure you’d never find love again but a certain archer catches your eyes and changes the entire trajectory of your life.

(A/N) - it’s finally here! Yay I’ve been working on this chapter since may and I’m so happy I’ve finally finished it. I know progress with my fics have been moving a little slower that they usually do but I’m hoping fingers crossed 🤞that I am able to speed the process up a little in the coming months 🫶🏻 also finally introducing the governor as the readers father in this chapter, I kind of hinted at it last chapter, to play around with the idea of it being canon. And I really like the ideas and situations I’ve came up in my head to put them in.

‘The suicide king’

S3 ep 9

Daryl is unbagged and pushed forward towards the middle of the arena. Merle and Daryl stand frozen, their eyes scanning the crowd in utter disbelief. The deafening sound of boos and heckles echoes throughout the arena, drowning out any other noise. Daryl's chest is heaving, faster and faster with each shout made from the audience of people. A blonde woman is attempting to force her way through a group of people, most likely the Governor's personal bodyguards, to get closer to him.

She manages to get through the first set before a surprise second set grabs her up before she can even get to his side. The governor - or maybe I should just start calling him Philip - because I finally know who the man behind the oh-so-mysterious name 'the governor' is. It's funny, I've been looking for this man for the last, what? 20 years of my life and I'm able to find him not even a year into the apocalypse so easily. How could he avoid his kids for 20 years in the old world, but he couldn't even last a year without me finding him now?

I really want to know how my father, Philip Blake, ended up being some dictator for a survivor's refugee camp. I almost want to laugh at how 'badass' he looks right now. makeshift eyepatch over one eye, as he looked over all his people so proud to be an asshole. My father was never much of a threat, but god he tried to be, though he really tried. I didn't hear much about my dad growing up, my maternal grandpa always muttered about how he was "such an asshole of a man", but the one thing I did hear from my paternal grandmother was that he ended up skipping town got some stupid office job and started a new family. it was all some bullshit about needing to start over, without my 'slut of a mother'.

His arm raises, so it's pointing towards Merle. The people of Woodbury immediately quiet down as their leader begins to speak. "I asked where your loyalties lie. You said here." Daryl was finally let out of whatever shackles that were placed around his arms, letting them fall to his sides freely. "Well, prove it. Prove it to us all." My blood runs cold.

"Brother against brother," he says with a dry chuckle. The crowd copies their leader, letting out a small chuckle that's paired with a quiet "yeah."

"Winner goes free" the crowd cheers at that, probably hoping and praying that Merle is able to win. Even though Merle was now deemed possibly 'unloyal' in the governor's eyes, it was still the better option for them. If Daryl died, Merle would have absolutely no reason to want to help us. Merle would go back to being Philip's loyal righthand man, and we, the 'terrorists' would be dead. Glenn had already told them our location and they would be marching up to our door with pitchforks in no time. Philip walks towards Merle shouting "Fight to the death!" as he does so. The crowd cheers once again. This was a scene taken straight out of one of those shitty medieval times shows.

The blonde woman finally turns, revealing her whole face to me. Andrea, the woman I thought I had accidentally left for dead, was here? Of all places, how did she end up here? Well, she had already shown us she didn't care about being led by an asshole, and if she was as close with Philip as she seems, she should already know how much of an asshole he was. "Philip, please. Don't do this," Andrea pleads, as one of Philips's men holds her back. "Don't do this!" He doesn't even glance at her, choosing instead to keep his eye on his prey. He glares at the two men standing in front of him, a smirk on his face that shows he truly enjoys this. The torture. He doesn't even have to do it himself, he just has to sit back and watch.

Merle raises his hand in the air before shouting "Y'all know me!" the crowd cheers, and I can see the absolute look of betrayal on Daryl's face. "I'm gonna do whatever I got to do to prove..." He hesitates for a moment before swinging his arm back and delivering a forceful punch to Daryl's stomach. With a loud grunt, Daryl collapses to the ground, and the crowd erupts in excitement. I stand frozen, unable to believe what I'm witnessing. how could he do that? Do that to his brother? "Holy shit," Jack gasps as Daryl begins to push himself up off of the ground. "That's my loyalty to this town!" just as Daryl has gotten his head off of the ground, Merle kicks him, sending him right back onto the ground.

Daryl lies motionless on his back, his chest heaving up and down with a faint rhythm. My eyes are fixed on him, hesitant to glance away, as if by doing so I might miss the final moments of his life. Merle continues throwing blow after blow as Philip watches on the sidelines with a sick look on his face. The crowd cheers as they lead out a walker. It's practically on a leash as some man, probably another one of Philips's men, leads him toward Daryl and Merle.

Finally, Daryl throws a punch. It's towards Merle's ankles but it gets him somewhere. It gets Daryl back onto his feet. Daryl launches himself toward Merle, tackling him, or at least trying to, but Merle has a leg up in this competition. merle gets Daryl down to the ground first. Both men have their hands around each other's necks as three of Philips's men lead three walkers towards them.

I don't even know what to do to help Daryl out. I could cause some type of distraction. If something more dangerous happens, it could give Daryl the freedom to escape. My eyes fall to my bag. I open it up and grab my gun right as Daryl and Merle get back to their feet. The two are working together to defeat the walkers.

My ammunition is running dangerously low, but my determination to save Daryl is unwavering. I'm willing to take the risk and use my last bullet to help him escape. My breaths come in quick and shallow as I raise my gun, my hands trembling with apprehension. I take aim at a man standing near Philip. I let out one more shaky breath before pressing the trigger and letting the bullet fly out of the gun and toward the man. Luckily for me, my aim was amazing today. The bullet tears right through his skull. Everyone around him screams as he falls to the ground with a thud.

Suddenly, someone behind Jack and I start shooting rounds into the arena, which makes even more of a ruckus. As I turned around to glance behind me, my eyes fell on Maggie, who was casually leaning against the top of the cold metal dumpster that was situated behind us. She shoots round after round into the arena. I let out a sigh of relief and began running back towards her. rick throws one of his smoke bombs, and Maggie continues to shoot. All I can hear is the sound of the automatic rifle and screams. Everyone's scattering like flies. Rick looks up at me, his mouth is open as if he's about to ask me something before his eyes flick to Jack who's stood behind me. "Who's that?"

"Old friend... he helped me," I reply. Rick continues to stare at Jack, scrutinizing him from head to toe as if he's trying to find a reason not to like him. I already know what he's going to ask. "Is he one of the governor's men?" I quickly respond, "He was just a resident and didn't know anything about what was going on, right Jack?" Jack nods, muttering a quiet "mhm."

Daryl and Merle sprint towards us while Rick urges, "Daryl, let's go!" Without wasting any time, we all take off at full speed, our hearts pounding with fear of being spotted by Philip or his men. The only sound that can be heard is our pounding footsteps on the ground as we race towards safety.

-

We manage to escape the arena and run back into the main town area. We were cautious as we walked around, hoping everyone was in the arena, but there was no actual way to know, so we were as careful as we could.

"they're all at the arena, this way!!" Merle instructs, attempting to lead us toward an exit. Rick was quick to shoot down the idea of Merle going with us. "you're not going anywhere with us!" he growls. "You really want to do this now?!" Merle asks as he runs towards the fence, attempting to pry apart the metal, as Rick and Daryl stand guard. I pray to God Rick won't say anything about Jack going with us. I don't want him to stay here, knowing the possible doomed future of Woodbury.

Finally, Merle manages to pull apart the metal, leaving a nicely sized hole in its wake. We all slipped through without a problem, but we're only met with walkers on the opposite side. "A LITTLE HELP WOULD BE NICE!" Merle shouts as he beats a walker to death with his prosthetic arm. Daryl was quick to pitch in, shooting a walker with his bow. I pull my gun out, shooting off my last bullet into a walker's head, "We ain't got time for this!" before beginning to sprint off.

I stand motionless next to Jack, anticipation building as we await instructions from Rick. "let's go!" Daryl shouts once it's been more than a few seconds, Rick, Maggie, and I not moving. I'm glad Daryl hasn't asked about Jack yet. Maybe it's just because he's too busy to realize. But I hope he never mentions it. I'm scared he'll get mad, or jealous. He's just a friend now, hell we were tiptoeing around a breakup when the outbreak started. But I don't know how Daryl is with exes. I know he can get jealous; he has many times before. Normally, I can predict what he'll do in certain situations, but with Jack, I just don't know how Daryl will react. rick folds, deciding to follow after Merle rather than die.

-

The walk back to the car is long. My hands are in my pockets as I trail behind a bit, with everyone else at least a few feet ahead of me. I don't mean to eavesdrop, but I can't help but overhear Merle and Daryl's conversation. "sooo, wha's up with you'n tha' bitch?" Merle asks, his head tilting back, so it points towards me. My heart stops, wondering what Daryl would say. Would he refer to me as his girlfriend? Even though we already had discussed what our relationship was, and I was confident in my role as Daryl's girlfriend, I was scared that he'd be embarrassed to admit that we were in a relationship with his older brother.

Daryl's quiet for a few seconds, giving his brother enough time to throw in another comment. "You to fuckin' around or something?" Daryl chuckles left hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Um...I guess me'n her are together," he says with a shrug. Merle almost immediately bursts out in a booming fit of laughter, which makes Rick turn around and glare. I don't understand what's so funny. Was it so farfetched that Daryl and I were dating? I can see the back of Daryl's ears turn a bright red as his hands nervously play with the hem of his shirt. "yer datin' her! ain't she fuckin' that Chinese boy?" I almost scoff at Merle's assumption. I can almost hear Daryl's eyes roll as he says, "Nah... they're just friends."

"ya sure? I remem-" Daryl's quick to shut Merle down once again "I'm sure"

-

It's about 20 minutes later when we end up back at the other side of the large acre of woods where we parked the car. As we approach the car, Rick whisper yells out Glenn's name, which makes both Glenn and Michonne get up and run to us. "Oh, thank god," Glenn sighs out as he approaches us. Rick was quick to squash the inkling of relief that Glenn had by revealing our newfound problems. "Now we got a problem here. I need you to back up." the moment Merle's face comes into Glenn's sigh, his face instantly contorted into anger "What the hell is he doing here!" Michonne pulls out her Katana in an effort to protect herself, and Daryl, he's quick to begin yelling in an effort to protect his older brother. There is a gun pointed at almost everyone in the group. "are you guys always like this?" Jack mutters quietly, "Always," I reply with an eye roll.

Everyone is yelling over each other; I can barely understand one word that's coming out of anyone's mouth. "Yeah, right after he beat the shit out of you," Rick scoffs, while I cross my arms over my chest, feeling absolute annoyance simmering inside me. "Hey, we both took our licks, man," Merle chuckles as his back presses against the tree behind him. "Jackass" Daryl scoffs with an eye roll. merle pushes himself off the tree. "Hey shut up!" Merle shouts back at his brother, his voice filled with pure annoyance. The brotherly squabble is quickly shut down by Rick with a loud "Enough!" but that just turns into another fight. "Hey! hey! Relax! Put that down!" Rick shouts at Michonne, who's got her Katana pointed at him. "Get that thing out of my face!" Daryl shouts, swatting at Glenn's gun.

Merle laughs. "Man, look like you've gone native, brother." Daryl turns around, his anger now fully directed at his brother. "NO more than you hangin' out with that psycho back there." Merle just has a smirk on his face, mainly just to piss Daryl off even more. "oh, yeah, man. He is a charmer, I got to tell you that. been puttin' the wood to your girlfriend Andrea big time, baby." Merle said eye's making direct contact with Michonne. my eyebrows furrow with confusion, not because of Andrea fucking my father, that was predictable, Andrea liked a man with power, but I'm confused because Andrea and Michonne had known each other. Glenn's just as confused brows furrowed as he asks "What? Andreas in Woodbury?"

"Right next to the governor," Daryl replies. Michonne takes a few steps forward, pointing her Katana in front of her once again, with the intention of hurting someone. "I told you to drop that!" Rick shouts, lunging forward, making Michonne lower it once again. Michonne has a blank expression on her face as Rick asks, "You know Andrea?" her eyes don't make contact with Rick, instead settling for somewhere right behind him.

Rick doesn't take her silence for an answer, so he gets closer, and his voice drops to a low, sinister whisper, "Hey, do you know Andrea?" he asks once again. She doesn't answer, letting Merle answer for her. "Yep, she does," he says, a smirk displayed on his lips. "Her and blondie spent all winter cuddlin' up in the forest. Mm-mmm-mmm." Rick has a look of betrayal on his face as Merle continues to reveal more and more of Michonne's secrets. "Yeah. My Nubian queen here had two pet walkers. No arms, cut off the jaws, kept them in chains."

What. The. fuck? two pet walkers! "kinda ironic now that I think about it." Daryl is done with Merle's mouth. Daryl quickly spins around shouting "Shut up, bro!" Merle laughs, obviously finding Daryl's anger hilarious "Hey, man, we snagged them out of the woods. Andrea was close to dyin'."

"Is that why she's with him?"

Merle nods. "Yeah. Snug as two little bugs. So, what ya gonna do now, sheriff, huh? Surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs, and cowards." Merle says, just poking and prodding at Rick, trying to get a reaction out of him. And a reaction is what he got; Rick turns his head, commanding Merle to "shut up!" Merle, being Merle, doesn't comply and continues his antics. Merle chuckles. "Oh, man, look at this. Pathetic!" he shakes his head in faux shame. "All these guns and no bullets in them."

Merles once again got on his brother's last nerve. "Merle! shut up!" Daryl growls, leaning forward a bit, trying to intimidate his older brother. Merle doesn't take that and begins to shout, "Shut up yourself! Bunch of pussies you roll-" Merle isn't even able to finish his last sentence before Rick quickly strikes him in the back of the head with his gun, causing him to fall to the ground unconscious with a thud. "Asshole."

-

We're all gathered around in the middle of the road, leaving Jack sat on the side of the road, feeling he had no place in the conversation, and Merle still in the woods. Daryl's trying to propose that Merle comes with us, but Rick's not so sure, feeling it will just cause trouble. "It won't work," Rick sighs. Daryl still tries his best to convince Rick, though "it's gotta" I'm not on either side. I know Merle is nothing but trouble. I've known that since the moment I met him. But I also know that Daryl has beaten himself up over losing his brother for the past year. I know having his brother with our group again would make him happy. I want Daryl to be happy, I really do, but Merle has already caused so much trouble for our group. Hell, he kidnapped and almost killed Glenn and Maggie.

"it'll stir things up," Rick argues. I know he's right. Having Glenn and Merle under the same roof probably won't end up well. Glenn was already so pissed off; it wouldn't be right to make Glenn and Maggie feel more unsafe than they already did. "Look, the governor is probably on the way to the prison right now. merle knows how he thinks, and we could use the muscle," Merle did already know a bunch about Phillip, but who says he's even gonna help up, all he did back at the quarry was fuck around and start unnecessary fights with Shane.

"I'm not havin' him at the prison,"

"Do you really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol, Beth, or hell, Casey?" Glenn asks. thinking about it, I don't want Merle Dixon anywhere near Casey. I know Merle is Daryl's brother and all, but he should really think about this. I was barely comfortable being within 5 feet of Merle myself let alone my 5-year-old. he has to start thinking about the bigger picture, he has to start thinking about how this could affect Casey, Carl, and the baby. Daryl grunts before muttering, "he ain't a rapist." He wasn't a rapist, but he sure did make me more than uncomfortable on multiple occasions. Look at him, the way he talked, the men he hung out with; would he really want that kind of person around the children?

"Well, his buddy is." Daryl was still trying to plead Merle's case. "They ain't buddies no more. Not after last night," I sigh, arms crossing over my chest "C'mon D you know how Merle is, do you really want that around case?" he huffs, trying not to make eye contact as a look of betrayal spreads across his face.

"There's no way Merles gonna live there without putting everyone at each other's throats," Rick says. I know Rick doesn't want to piss Daryl off, but he also wants everyone in our group to feel safe. "So, yer gonna cut Merle loose and bring the last samurai home with us?" Rick shakes his head, saying "She's not coming back. " 

"she's not in a state to be on her own" Maggie argues. Maggie and Glenn continue to try and plead Michonne's case. "She did bring you guys to us" Glenn whispers, in a way he's right. Michonne had helped us, but she's already practically gone rogue pointing that damn katana at people. we just don't know what she's capable of yet. "And then ditched us" rick argues, head turning towards Glenn. "at least let my dad stitch her up" Maggie begs, we can't just leave her out for dead, we should at least let Hershel check her out, so she's has the best chance of survival out there, it just the right thing to do. "She's too unpredictable." She's a loose cannon, that's for sure. On one hand, she has proven herself to be beneficial to our group, but on the other hand, she has also shown us that she could be harmful to our group. She's helping us, but also going missing for a long period of time and pointing her damn Katana at us like we're the bad guys.

We're staring at Michonne. She is leaning against the side-view mirror, staring back at us, almost as if she knows we're talking about her. Scratch that, she probably does know because Rick is not trying to whisper at all. He wants her to know she's unwanted, hoping she'll take a hint and scurry off before Rick can boot her out. Daryl nods agreeing with Rick, "That's right, we don't know who she is" he mutters, but he's only agreeing with Rick right now to try to slip in a word about Merle staying with us.

"But merle, merles blood." Daryl says almost acting like we're all some big family. Deep down, I have a feeling he'd run if Merle asked him. We're not blood, I'm not his wife, Casey's not his daughter. I'm his girlfriend, barely even that sometimes, and Casey, she's a little girl who has accidentally grown too attached. The 'D' around my neck means nothing if Merle is asking for something, and I know that. I wouldn't expect him to choose me over his brother, and I know he wouldn't expect me to pick him over mine, even if it would be a difficult decision for me.

Glenn shakes his head in disgust. "No, merles your blood, my blood, my family is standing right here, and waiting for us back at the prison." We had no ties to Merle, no need to keep him. The only one who did was Daryl. we all know the line we're tittering on, we all know the thoughts and decisions racing through his mind. We all know he's thinking about leaving and going with Merle. that's why my eyes are burning into his with a stare begging him not to. Begging him not to make me go back without him, begging him not to make me explain why he didn't come back. "And you're part of that family, but he's not. He's not"

I can see the anger boiling in his chest, the words he's trying to fight back. "Man, ya'll don't know" We all stare at him waiting for him to say it because we know he is "Fine. we'll fend for ourselves." he finally says it, which almost sends me over the edge. I just want to scream at him. How could he just leave, leave after promising he'd come back? "that's not what I was saying," Glenn says, trying to make Daryl think about his decision. "no, him, no me." It's as simple as that. He didn't think about Casey, Carol, Beth, or hell fucking me. "Daryl, you don't have to do that"

"It was always merle an' I before this" Then he makes eye contact with me, and he sees it, the tears pooling in my eyes that I desperately try to blink back, the begging the pleading, but he doesn't care. "So, you're just gonna leave?" I ask finally breaking my silence. His eyes meet mine. "you'd do the same thing," he mutters. My brother, he wasn't like Merle. He wouldn't be booted out of the group because my brother was a good man. "What do you want me to tell Casey? you promised her you'd come back." he shrugs, almost like he doesn't care. "y/n ya gotta understand this is my brother, my blood. You'd do the same if you found yer's. I know ya would"

"My brother's dead," I say, my voice comes out bitter and harsh. Because how could he bring up my brother, who's dead? Who died trying to help me? How could he compare his racist, misogynistic, absolute scumbag brother to mine? "Then ya should understand. "my arms cross over my chest, and my face twists into a disgusted expression. I can't believe he'd just leave us like that. After everything we've been through. He said he loved me. I thought he thought more of me. I thought this was it. I thought he was going to be my husband.

Daryl starts walking, pushing past Maggie and me, muttering, "Say goodbye to yer pops for me." I spin around on my heels, facing him now rather than Glenn and Rick. I'm practically chasing after him shouting "You're seriously leaving?! After everything we've been through?!" he ignores me and just continues to walk until he gets to the trunk of the car. He opens it and begins to gather his items.

"So, this is it?" I whisper, my hands shoved in my pockets, "guess so" he mutters, my heart drops and tears begin to pool in my eyes once again. "Seriously? What about Casey?" he shrugs, not answering because he knows whatever he's going to say is just going to piss me off. "What about me D? What about us?" a tear falls down my cheek, and my hand reaches up to wipe it away. "you'll get over it," he mutters, slinging his bag over his shoulder. That hurt me. It felt like a stab to the gut. Did he really think I just get over him like that? He shakes his head, almost as if he was trying to ignore the tears that lined my waterline. he's trying not to care.

I've watched Daryl grow so much as a person in the last year. The man I knew yesterday was a scrap of the man I had met at that quarry. But somehow, with Merle's reappearance, he went back to the Douch bag he was. He no longer cared for Casey, Beth, or Carol. He no longer cared for me. He no longer cared about us. All the late-night conversation meant nothing, the necklace meant nothing, Casey meant nothing. "I-I love you," I whisper, hoping it would change his decision. Hoping the quiet admission of love would snap him back into reality.

"Then stop..." he mutters. His words are so bitter, so calloused they slice right through my heart, breaking it into a million pieces. "ya got whoever that guy is over there, ya got Glenn. know you'll be fuckin' one of them by the end of the week," he mutters. Hot, angry tears begin to fall down my cheeks. How could he say that? Was that really all he thought of me? A slut? Did he think I was only with him for the sex? The sex that was so far in between that I can't recall the last time we had it. Did he not notice how in love I was?

I rip the necklace from my neck and throw it at him. It hits his torso before falling to the ground with a soft thud. The silver metal glimmers in the sun staring up a simple reminder of what we were, and what we could have been. "Fuck you" is the last thing I mutter before wiping my tears and turning to walk back towards the group.

-

The ride back to the prison is a blur. I sit in the back, middle seat, with a shell-shocked look on my face. I don't want to cry, but my body wants me to cry. There's a lump in my throat and I'm desperately trying to hold back tears. The whole ride Glenn muttering quietly to me, "I'm so sorry" "I didn't think he was really going to leave" I don't pay attention to him. I can't listen, I can't pay attention. I just want to be in my head right now. I feel the car stop and feel people leave, but I don't pay it any mind. I don't even pay any mind when I hear the shouting outside. I just want this all to be over.

I'm zoned out until I feel the car park, and everyone gets out. I get out, hands shoved in my pockets. The only thing that knocks me out of my head is the feeling of two little arms wrapping around my leg. "you're back," Casey squeaks as I bend down and pick her up. Her arms wrap around my neck and her head buries itself into my shoulder. I know the inevitable question awaits us, and I still don't know what I'm going to say. When I feel her head leave my shoulder and begin looking around, my heart begins to slam against my chest. "where's Daryl?" she asks eyes still searching, "he...Daryl left"

"Did he die?" she asks, brows furrowing up as I shake my head. I'd rather he had died. It's easier to explain to her that he died rather than he decided to leave us. "No, baby. He found his brother and decided he needed to be with his family." Her brows furrow up even farther, if that's even possible. "I thought we were his family?"

-

When I get back inside, I tell Casey to stay with Carl and go up and find an empty cell. This is when I finally let myself break down. Sitting on the bed with my head in my hand, I just let go. I'm full-on ugly crying, with tears streaming down my face, and snot bubbling out of my nose. I just hate him so much for leaving. Broken sobs escape my lips as I try to keep myself as quiet as possible. I don't want anyone else to know how badly this hurt me.

My chest rises and falls fast with each gasp I take. The only thought that is racing through my mind is why would he do this? How could he do this? Did he really think that I was a slut all this time, or was it Merle's comments about Glenn, and I that suddenly had changed his opinion of Glenn and I's relationship? Did he seriously think I didn't love him?

"You, okay?" a knock on the wall pulls me from my thoughts. I look up to see Carol. My bottom lip wobbles as I shake my head 'no'. she lets out a sigh as she nods and slowly walks towards me. She takes a seat next to me on the bottom bunk. "You want to talk?" she asks, her arm coming to wrap around my body and pull mine close to hers. I shake my head 'no' once again. I could barely think about him without a blubbering mess, let alone talk about him to someone else.

My head buries into her chest as her left hand rubs small circles into my back. "I know, I know," she mutters as broken sobs erupt from my throat. I just hate him so much for leaving with Merle, but at the same time I want him here, and I want him to hold me. I want to hear him tell me he loves me.

-

I sat in that cell for the rest of the night, not bothering about dinner because I had already felt sick to my stomach. The only human interaction I have is with Casey at bedtime when she cuddles up next to me in the bottom bunk. I can't bring myself to touch the stuff Daryl had left behind, because I know I'll either break it or throw it at a wall.

Casey's eyes were heavy with sleep, and yawns erupted from her every few seconds. She didn't want to sleep on the top bunk. For the past few months, she only knew what it felt like to sleep between Daryl and me. There was always a warm body next to her, no matter what. I can't bring myself to think how last night was for her. Through a yawn, she whispers, "I miss Daryl" I let out a heavy sigh. In a way I miss him, I wish he hadn't made the choice he had made, I wish he would have considered how'd those decisioned would affect us. I wish I didn't have the burden of living the rest of my life wondering if he's alright, so I guess in a way I miss him.

Casey eventually drifted off to sleep, and I quietly slipped out of bed, hoping that everyone else had retired for the night. As I tiptoed down the stairs and into the dimly lit rec room, I noticed Glenn sitting at a table in the far-left corner. He was shrouded in almost complete darkness, with only his hoodie standing out in the dim light. His head faced down; one elbow propped up on the table to hold it up. "How you holdin' up?" I ask, breaking him from his thoughts. I can see him just and let out a tiny gasp. "shit" he mutters under his breath as his head snaps up to see me.

I laugh, a small smile breaking across my face. "sorry" I whisper, walking across the room to meet him at his table. "watcha doin' up so late?" I ask, sliding into the seat beside him. "can't sleep you?" he asks. I shrug, not knowing why I was still up. I felt like I could sleep for a good week if I really tried. "So...did Jack get booted out with the rest...or..." I ask referring to the commotion I had heard earlier that day involving rick. Glenn shakes his head "Nah, didn't wanna upset you anymore than you already were," he says, tiptoeing around the subject of Daryl.

I can't help but feel bad about Glenn and Maggie. Every time I see the black and blue bruises that decorated his face, I can't help but be reminded of who caused it. I hadn't thought about him in years. The only times I was reminded of the faded remembrance of his face were in old family portraits that were in boxes up in my mom's attic.

1992 or 3 maybe, I was three years old in the picture, mom was heavily pregnant, and dad looked so young. I never realized how young both my parents were when they had me until I looked at those photos. Mom looks maybe 19, dad had to be at least 21. He's got me on his hip, we're all pushed in close, one arm around a waist, Dad's face and I's squished together. We looked so happy.

When I saw his face out in the crowd, I was 12 years old again up in the attic, sorting through boxes, finding the dusty portraits. Wondering how he could leave us. I wasn't stupid. I remembered those last few months, the last year. I remembered the drinking, the fighting, the bruises. I remembered the broken potted plants I remembered my brother's broken arm. I just couldn't believe the man who wore such a bright smile could be so evil.

How could he hurt me, hurt my brother, hurt my mom? I feel like I'm sitting in my paternal grandmother's kitchen this time, maybe 15, listening to her blab on and on about his family. His wife, his daughter. His daughter he loved so dearly, the daughter who had replaced me. 'He just loves her so much,' she said 'No one can take away a father's love for their daughter'. I hadn't thought of him since that moment. After that, I gave up on having a dad. I gave up on waiting. I finally realized he just didn't love me, and I couldn't change that.

But yesterday, seeing him again was like a punch to the gut, and finding out that he was the one who hurt my friends that made me furious. I wanted to be the one to hunt him down. I wanted to be the one to kill him. I couldn't wait to see his face when he realized who I was and what I was going to do.

"Glenn, can I tell you something? But you can't get mad" his brows furrow, a sliver of a smile displaying on his lips as his mouth opens to say something. I'm quick to cut him off, finally revealing the hardest secret I've ever had to keep. "the governor is my dad" his eyes widen, and fear sets in quickly, terrified he'll hate me. "What?" he asks, it coming out as a half laugh as he stares at me. His eyes fall up and down my body, examining every single one of my facial features, finding everyone that even slightly resembled Philips. "Are you joking?" he asks, head cocking to the side in disbelief. I shake my head slowly, and he lets out a quiet "oh my god."

"I didn't even know this governor guy was him until I saw him. You're not mad, are you?" he shakes his head, letting my anxieties settle. "No..not mad, just...shocked, yo-you...wow."

Taglist

@rivversin @soul4death @silicone-bonez @nezukos-number1fan @jai-lovely @maziejay08 @oi-itse @rhaenryawhore @kimbunnysstuff @blipblopper @ramielll @ilyhannah @daryldixonnn @delicatebearpandaopera @daryldixmedown @duckybird101 @0-imjusthere-0 @tanuki-tsuki

[kozachenko]

wooo yay I have another WIP in the works after I've finally had time to draw again yipeeeeeee (click for better quality)

Also, on a side note happy pride month! I don't have anything super special for this month like last year (also I've been on this hellsite for a year now jesus christ) and so I might as well post this WIP I've got going of Keiki and Mayumi because this idea has been marinating in my head for a while now and I needed to get it out.

I'll keep my artist's note brief as like with my previous WIP I am just gonna save that for the finished piece (Edit: It's done now so clink the link here to see it), but I would like to post some of my headcanons for the two of them here while I'm still thinking about both of them.

Artist's Notes;

So I really like the idea of Mayumi having some memory of her life before dying and ending up in the Animal Realm and that's part of the reason why she wants to protect Keiki so much, like, maybe she failed to protect someone she cared for in her life, or maybe she was just kind of an asshole and sees this as a second chance. IDK, I just think it could be a neat idea to play around with, especially if Mayumi is one of the few spirits who actually remembers her life, as I'm sure in most cases in Touhou, non-vengeful spirits tend to forget most of their lives upon death, so I think it could be and interesting idea to play around with. I also like the idea of Keiki asking Mayumi something along the lines of, "Are there any changes you want me to make to your appearance?" and Mayumi gives her input on what she wants her new body to look like, which I think could be a really nice moment of bonding between the two of them. Also, I love the canon detail of Mayumi being the only one who's really able to understand Keiki's way of speaking, I just think it's really cute.

As for how I drew both of them, I took a few liberties with their outfits and took some inspiration from Kofun period clothing and armor. I also figured out a way to draw Keiki's apron and I am so happy with it, as well as Mayumi's armor. Also, I like how Mayumi's hair is looking so far, as when I was sketching it, I was trying to draw it in a way that would still work in my artstyle and with the general shape language I was trying to go for with Mayumi, though in the finished piece I might make a few changes. Also will have to play around with Mayumi's positioning, as I want it to look like she's kneeling and her legs are being covered by the flame thingy, but at the same time I'm not to happy compositionally with how she's placed right now, so I'll have to work on that.

[cainluvr69]

"Creeping Shadows" Cain SR Card Story - Boiling Sensibilities

Cain: Alright, so let's do this here… And put these herbs in next…

Snow: My, I thought I smelled something nice, and who should I find when I follow the scent but you. What's in that big pot you have? Are you cooking something, perchance?

Cain: Oh, Lord Snow. I'm trying to make that "curry" thing Master Sage was talking about, since it's apparently a camping mainstay.

Snow: …Courier?

Cain: No, curry. It's a kind of soup that's made by just throwing in all sorts of ingredients and boiling them together.

Snow: Ohoho, so a type of cooking you excel at, I see. I recall you saying you were just going to "boil up" breakfast for White and I once.

Cain: Ahaha, did I? Well I mean, pretty much anything in the world can be eaten if you boil or fry it.

Snow: Is that true…? Are you sure…?

Cain: So anyways, Akira and the previous Sage said that curry is spicy, with a brown roux, and that it smells really good.

Snow: I see, I see! So we've got a rather fiery soup on our hands, then. So would those herbs you put in be the finishing touch on the fabled "curry" flavor?

Cain: Honestly? I have no idea.

Snow: What.

Cain: Neither of the Sages could remember exactly what kind or how many herbs or spices are supposed to go into it. So the first time I tried to make it, it didn't really turn out very well, but there's all sorts of herbs growing around here, yeah? I figure if I put in a bunch of the herbs here that are close enough to how they remember it, it'll turn out better this time.

Snow: So you're just shooting blindly until you hit the target????

Cain: I'm being pragmatic about it. And well, I've definitely got the spice, but the color and aroma aren't quite right, I think. Please, Lord Snow. Could you also add something that you think might be good?

✦✧☾✧✦

Snow: Goodness, me too? Why, that sounds… …Super duper fun! Absolutely! But you'll be taking responsibility for it, Cain dearest!

Cain: Of course I will. Alright, let's get back to the hunt now.

Snow: How do these herbs seem to you? If my memory hasn't failed me yet they should add a nice bit of spice.

Cain: Sounds great! Go for it, toss 'em in. Ooh! It's smelling great!

Snow: It's still not exactly brown, though. It's almost minestrone-like.

Cain: Hmm… Oh! How about we add some of those yellow flowers over there?

Snow: Sure, why not! In they go!

Snow & Cain: …! Is this…!!

✦✧☾✧✦

Snow & Cain: We did iiiit!! Clap clap clap!

Cain: The moment we added those flowers, we hit "spicy", "brown", and "smells good" all in one go! Now it's time for the taste test. C'mon, you try it too.

Snow: Huh?! Umm~mm, I think I'd like to hear your review first, Cain dear!

Cain: You sure? Well then, here I go. Munch… …It's good!

Snow: For real?! Then, I suppose I shall as well… Munch. …Goodness, this really is quite divine!

Cain: Right?

Snow: I know I'm the one who added the final ingredients, but goodness, I'm amazed we ended up here with such rando--ahem, pragmatism.

Cain: Ahaha. Maybe you've just got a talent for boiling things up! I only could've done this with your help, Lord Snow. Thank you very much. Yay!

Snow: Ya~ay! High five!

Cain: Alright, lemme go call the Sage. I really hope they like our curry!

Training Episode: Typical Toppings

Cain: Master Sage. Did you enjoy the curry we made the other day?

Akira: Right, I wanted to tell you!! It was absolutely perfectly currylike. Thank you so much for letting me taste something from home.

Cain: Nice! I'm happy you liked it. You were eating it with bread, right?

Akira: Yeah, I wanted to pair it with some carbs. But yeah, next time, I'd really want to have it with rice instead. Oh, and then putting pickled veggies and cheese on top too… Oh, but scallions or egg would be good too. Ohh, my imagination's starting to get away from me now that I'm thinking about home…

Cain: Pickles…? And eggs and cheese? It's a very versatile food, huh.

Akira: It really is. It all comes down to personal preference, of course, but putting on all your favorite toppings is definitely one way to enjoy curry.

Cain: Ooh! Yeah, it did taste like just about anything could go well with it. Then I want to add some fried meat. Not fried as-is like I usually make, but properly breaded 'n stuff. Fried oasis pig meat would probably go great with it.

Akira: …Oh, I know, like katsu curry! We had that in my world, too! In fact it's so common that you'd see it on a store's menu separate from regular curry. I bet you'd love it, Cain.

Cain: Nice, a special Sage suggestion. I'll definitely have to try it out, then. I was just putting stuff in randomly, so I don't know if I'll be able to recreate that exact recipe, but… Next time we're in the area, I'll do my best!