#so full time job yuh

[moomoorare]

I feel so bad cus I haven't posted anything in a month really but I SWEAR I'm, depsite slowly, wokring on both art and new fics

[m-inluv]

𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐎 𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐎 is a very busy man. being a sport promoter is a hard-working job in terms of schedule — having to find various endearing sport events and sponsors who will agree to take part and finance these social event — which consumes a lot of time and humain energy.

and while tetsuro is grateful for the way you support and understand that his work takes a lot of him he still feels guilty for leaving you alone most of the time — especially now that you’re six months pregnant with his son.

over the last couple of weeks your husband and his coworkers started working on a very special sporting event, the ‘FIVB Beach Volleyball World Championships’, the double-gender world championship of beach volleyball. despite this championship being in a bit more than a year it is by far the most important worldwide volleyball event happening in the following year.

which is why testuro has been working harder during the last few days, his schedule being filled with meetings to discuss with a bunch of different sponsors — on who gets to sponsor what.

so when tetsuro finds himself having a ten minutes break between two meeting he immediatly turns on his phone, checking for any texts or missed calls from you — to which he does find a few texts.

wifey ♡ babe babyyy testsuro !! pls reply as soon as you can :(

tetsu •ᴗ• sweetheart is everything okay  ? are you hurt ? fuck did you burn the house down ? wifey ♡ babyyyy yuh uh everything is fine !! and i only burnt homemade caramel once :( i just can’t write it over text… call me !!!

the raven-haired man stands up from his seat, excusing himself as he pushes the nearest door open with one hand, the fingers of his free hand swiftly tapping over his phone’s screen as he clicks on your contact id — dialing your number. he then places his phone over his ear, leaning his back against the wall behind him as he waits for you to pick up the phone.

as soon as tetsuro hears some shuffle from the other line of his phone he speaks up, not even letting you greet him properly. “sweetie, is there a problem ?” his tone is worried as he waits for your answer, hoping that everything is fine — that you’re alright.

“tetsu—” you start before letting out a laugh, which kinda helps your husband calm down for a bit. “i told you that everything is fine, you don’t have to worry”

on the other end of the phone you can’t help but smile at your husband’s worry for you, which doesn’t fail to make you remember how much he cares about — something that only increased as soon as the first symptoms of your pregnancy appeared. “what is it then ?” tetsuro’s booming voice immediatly brings you back to earth. “it’s just. . . i have a brilliant idea !” you joyfully tell him. the raven-haired man pauses at your exclamation, searching for any guesses of what that idea might be. . . until a grin appears on his face as he finally comes to realization. “is it another wild craving of yours, princess ?” he lets out a chuckle at your answer, laughing to himself as he hears you sigh from the other line of his phone. “my cravings aren’t weird !” you protest, the pout on your lips evident in your tone, which makes your husband’s grin even wider. “so, i’m craving nachos—” you say before the raven-haired man cuts your sentence mid-way. “oh, from which place do you want it babe ? i can get it delivered at home—”

“no ! i want sweet nachos.” you state, a huff leaving your lips.

your husband stands there, a dumbfounded expression written all over his face as he stares ahead of himself, his brain malfunctioning due to your words. any of his coworkers who would pass by would think that something is wrong with him, like he just heard one of the dumbest things on earth — which he kinda did. “sweet nachos— angel that’s not even a thing !”

“but it is a thing since i just invented it !" you exclaim, your voice full of confidence — as if you didn’t imagine the weirdest ‘dish’ in the whole word. "the base is made of chips — not any kind tho, only the original pringles — with a bunch of m&m’s, reese’s, chocolate syrup and whipped cream.” you say, taking the time to explain this whole snack of yours in details. "whipped cream as to be on top of the chips and in a small cup on the side, okay ?"

tetsuro licks his lips as he notes all of the needed ingredients in his minds, shrugging his shoulders before realizing that you can’t see him and speaking up. "yeah, sure. do i need to stop by the grocery store to get the ingredients or nah ?" he asks, which you answer with a simple ‘yes’. He hangs up the phone a few seconds later — after kissing you goodbye through the phone of course — and steps back inside the building for his last meeting of the day.

when your husband finally exits his work building — by 8:45pm exactly — he walks to his car, a white Mercedes-Benz CLE 200 Cabriolet. he opens the front door for himself, dropping all of his papers on the passenger seat next to him. he turns on his car, pressing on a button — making the roof of the convertible disappear inside of the trunk.

after about twenty minutes — and a stop at the grocery store — tetsuro finally parks his car in front of your shared house. he steps out of the car, a brown paper bag in one hand and his stack of papers in the other, a sigh leaving his lips as he pushes onto the front door’s handle, entering your residence.

“i’m home, sweetheart !” your husband calls out to you, taking his shoes off and walking towards the living room.

he smiles as he sees you laying on the couch, your head propped on one of your arms as you watch ‘from up on poppy hill’. he chuckles softly at the sight in front of him, placing his papers on the coffee table and bending over to get a proper look at your face. you glance up at his face when you finally notice his presence. you immediatly lift you head off your arm, a smile making it’s way on your lips as you sit up on the couch, puckering your lips for the raven-haired man to kiss you, which he glady does.

“how was work, baby ?” you ask him, looking up at him while slightly tilting your head to the side. “there’s a some oyakodon and rice in the kitchen that you can heat up in the microwave and the pan.”

“god, princess, i’m gonna wife you up again. . .” tetsuro mutters, resting his forehead against yours before placing a tender kiss on your lips.

he breaks up the kiss and stands up, affectionately flickering your forehead before walking back to the kitchen, turning the lights on. tetsuro notices the bowl of rice on the counter and grabs it, placing it next to the pan. he tears a bit of paper towel with his fingers, damping it with some water before placing it over the bowl. he turns on the microvage, putting the rice to reheat. your husband smiles when he sees the oyakodon heating in the pan on low heat before turning it higher.

he sighs, rolling up the sleeves of his white shirt onto his biceps before turning to the paper bag with the groceries he did ealier. once all of your craving’s ingredients are — finally — placed in front of him, tetsuro can start preparing your snack.

he opens the tub of unflavored pringles before placing some chips onto a plate, some whipped cream on top along with chocolate syrup before scattering m&m’s and reese’s on top of everything. he grabs a small cup, pouring some whipped cream inside.

when the time alarm goes off your husband opens the microwage, carefully grabing the rice cowl — without burning himself — before taking the damp paper off the top of the bowl. He moves the pan off the heat, pouring the runny mixture on top of the white rice that he garnishes with green onion, sesame seeds and a bit of togarashi.

in a swift move tetsuro snatches a pair of chopsticks, placing them between his fingers before grabbing both his bowl and your plate, tuning the lights off before walking towards the living room.

“here you go, sweetheart.” he tells you, handing you your plate while you thank him, your bright smile making your eyes squint and your head tilt.

you slide off the couch, now sitting on the floor as you place a pillow under your ass and behind your back, putting your plate on the coffee table in front of you. tetsuro slips down on the floor next to you, slightly bending his upper-body above the table, gathering some of his food between his chopsticks and taking a bite out of it.

you squeal as you takes one of the chips between your fingers, shoving it inside of your mouth. you can’t help the sigh of contentement leaving your lips at the salty and sweet taste you’ve been craving all day. You take another one, doing a small dance of happiness.

“i gotta say, princess, your food taste was already strange, but now ?” tetsuro says, whistling, only for you to slap the back of his head, a huff leaving your lips as a pout tugs at your lips, only for it to be wiped away by your husband’s lips on yours, to which you gladly kiss him back.

[for-ships-that-never-sail]

Okay Y'ALL I saw Episode 5 today and these are the thoughts I jotted down while watching it (PART 2 OF 2)

Please don’t read below the cut if you are avoiding spoilers until you get to watch it yourself 

And FYI some of these may not have any context, but I guess it won’t matter cause you’ll have context in 7ish hours anyway (also sorry about how long all my thoughts and feelings are lol)

Awh Kate you’re so pretty - kinda weird to see her so chill though - she was so stressed all of season 2 that seeing her so serene is throwing me off tbh - I am so happy for you though my love

Also her outfit that looks like a sari is soooo gorgeous I WANTTTT

Love the cinnamon biscuits vs fruit jellies bit

Portia ma'am please listen to Varley FFS

lol I hope they did in fact fuck again like she wanted

Ugly crying at MY MESSSSSS

PARIS? oufff I love how comfortable she is, just casual teasing chit chats with bestie

“Undefended”? Charlotte needs a different hobby pleaseeee

LOLLLLL when did Penelope learn to do her hair and makeup by herself???? Cause there’s no fucking way she would’ve looked THAT fucking good after alllll of that lol

We were going to be KNIGHTS!! OMG sweet babiessss

“as much as I do” I can’t even blame anyone for anything they’ve done or said so far tbh 

This is such nuanced writing — I understand exactly where pretty much everyone is coming from and that’s really nice tbh 

Omg they really do want Cressida to marry a dinosaur 

WTF Cressida you do you girl fuck shit up for Penelope I don’t even care do whatever you have to do and go all out and save yourself cause no one else will I’m so sorry you were ever put in this position  

We have been acting uncouth AS OF LATE??? as of late????!? Omggg Portia girl pleaseeeee you had ONE job and you’re just gonna pass the buck to your daughters instead? STAHP own up to your shit cause you knowwww they bully her because youuu bullied her and the gall to say this is just happening LATELY on top lmao 

Though like in her eyes I always do see remorse too - I think she just lacks courage to ever really own up to everything in full because she’s just so guarded 

Honestly this is such stellar acting 

And also like, Penelope, most of you is your mom my girl - your brains, your overthinking, your inability to just say Yuh I done fucked up my bad lol 

Greg’s hat

Yesssss lord Kent find you some Bridgerton besties 

I actually do love Portia - yeah she’s been a colossal dick of a mom to Pen but as complex women go, I get her - If she makes amends with Pen for them daily microaggressions and general abuse one day, for real for real, she’d be really great 

Omg Mama B and Lady D are such big shippers - wish they didn’t fully cut out the Lady D stuff from the books though le sigh 

Eloise has a point - I agree - she had lotsss of alone time to say it - I understand Pens fear completely, but she must realize that her saying this is still soooo much better than him having to find out on his own - and there is no way he wouldn't - and he’d be more hurt by that part than the actual LW part I think and honestly Eloise is right about her being involved in that painful deception too, I wouldn’t want my own brother to feel betrayed by me like that either, given how often he wished LW ill out loud - and the longer Pen stays quiet the more guilty Eloise becomes as a sister too - If anything her not immediately snitching makes her moreee team Pen than team Colin - this is still a lowkey loyalty to Pen for sure - I think I may have issued this same ultimatum under these conditions too

Omggg JOHNNNNNN stop he’s having a panic attack why did Fran put him on the spot like thissss????

“As you rightly mocked me last season” lolllll

Awh Colin and the toast 

Eloise should nottttt have done her second toast - now THAT part was uncalled for, but I guess they want to keep the stress levels high 

Lmao Kate to the rescue 

I loveeeee how close they are sitting in public - but like… does nooooo one else see this??? Hips glued together? Hands holding??? Just out in the open?? No one thinks this is insanely intimate for a newly engaged couple of the ton??? Even if it’s a love match? None of the older women are clocking this and saying 1. Sit the fuck apart 2. Did yall fuck already cause yall look like you fucked and we don’t even have a wedding date set yet??? Are you not going to even ask for a special license?? You just want her to pop a baby before she technically should and cause more drama?? Like who is in charge of all these fools?? Mama B what is you doing??? Do you not think Colin is being a nasty girl with his wife-to-be?? lol

Lol Anthony I love you, you competitive lil bitch 

Lmaooooo Eloise and Penelope being the smartest bitches of the ton YESSSS

Portia trying to show where Pen's brain comes from lol

Muddy boots panic again 

LMFAOOOOOOO Mama B your face is going a mile a minute right now listening to the muddy boots

"I saw straight away" OH MY FROHN you will end me one day

Pen get your shit together pls grab a brown paper bag or smthn 

Oooohhhhh fuck I get itttttt

Cressida girl my bad I get ittttttt sooooo much more - I didn’t fully understand her thought process behind what we already knew she was gonna do until just nowwww - they really set it up for her well - girl needed an exit and everyone fully offered her one - I have no issues with this at all tbh 

Omg omg this is the most chaotic midnight strike of all time like 6 different things happened at the same time???? 

Well that was some good old fashioned Bridgerton CHAOS Hope y'all enjoyed it too!!!! LESS THAN 8 HOURS TO GOOOOOOOOOO

[staycalmandhugaclone]

Identity Pt 4

Part (4) of Identity, the next arc of Doc's Misadventures! If you're new, start at the beginning with Touch Starved!

I owe loads of responses and I'm sorry! I got the writing bug and any spare time I've had in front of a computer, I just wanted to write! Quick answer to the most common question, though: Yeah, the implication is that the contact is her dad - that'll be touched on a bit more later, though, and I'll try to actually be a good tumblr person and respond to everyone's lovely comments this week now that I've purged this chapter out!

Huge preemptive warning before even getting to the real warnings! This is one of those particularly dark chapters that may be too intense for some readers. If that's the case, I'm more than happy to make a summary for continuity's sake; just please take caution to read the tags

Warnings: torture, waterboarding, drowning, interrogation, panic, panic attack, flashbacks, self-blame, giving up, longing for death, temporary insanity, arguably inappropriate use of sedation, guilt, profanity, intense whump

WC: 3,231

Fire tore through my nose and throat, body wrenching forward with violent coughs that sent pain shooting down my side, but the movement stopped short, chest held fast to something behind me – no… beneath me? I couldn’t think beyond the desperate need for air, head shaking as though it might rid my eyes and nose of the liquid still dripping down my face as my jaw gaped around choked gasps. The distorted hum of unfamiliar voices resonated nearby, pausing mere seconds before another torrent of icy water crashed over me, robbing me of what pitiful taste of air I’d fought so hard to gain and sending me back down that spiral of panicked suffocation, diaphragm convulsing uselessly beneath that torturous burn of drowning.

Something locked around my jaw, forcing my gaze toward the blurred colors that surely hid an unknown face and drawing a startled grunt of pain from me. I could almost hear words, confident at least that they were male before my attacker released me harshly enough to slam my already throbbing head against whatever lay beneath it. I’d only just realized my wrists were bound behind me when another frigid wave was thrown at me, again leaving me sputtering for breath.

“… a patient man…” That voice growled, mind finally grasping some meager bit of clarity. “I suggest you answer my questions before things get really unpleasant.” Wheezing, I quickly looked about us for some hint as to what was happening, but the dark cell offered no clues toward who he was or where he’d taken me. I think I was tied to a chair leaning back at a precarious angle, but I couldn’t move enough to check before he grabbed me again, fingers burring into my already bruised jaw.

“Eyes on me, yuh damn rat.” He grumbled. Without conscious thought, I realized some part of me expected to find a grizzled, old man covered in scars, eyes full of enraged contempt, but that’s not who stood beside me. He appeared to barely be in his thirties, white shirt marred with sweat and blood and stains I tried not to look too closely at lest I see something far worse. Years of drinking left is stomach distended and his skin blotchy, and what light may once have filled pale, green eyes had long since abandoned him. There was no anger fueling his actions, no obvious cause for him to seek retribution from long held vendetta. This was his job, and he’d simply lost the will to be bothered by the horrors it forced him to do.

“Ah. Guess yuh weren’t really awake yet, were yuh?” He hummed more to himself than to me, “Concussions can be tricky like that…” With a deep sigh, he stepped back, hand dropping absently away from me. “Let’s start over, then.” The way he rubbed his hand over his face, the weariness dragging against his movements, it felt so painfully displaced against the way my heart raced.

“Who ordered the hit?” Lost, I could only stare at him, thoughts far too muddled beneath fear and confusion to fathom a response. “How about we start with something easier?” He muttered, though he still reached for something behind me. I heard the click of a button followed by the rush of water through pipework overhead, and the terror that gripped me was visceral, body shaking too hard to manage even a broken gasp, limbs wrenching against the shackles about my wrists and ankles.

The vague sensation of pain each movement sent tearing through my left side didn’t matter, nor the growing understanding that there had been an explosion; that everyone near the podium must have been caught in the blast, and I couldn’t begin to guess the extent of my own injuries even as I recalled the horrifying images of those far less fortunate. That knowledge, that pain, none of it mattered in the face of where I now lay: trapped before this stranger who owed me no loyalties and sought only to force answers from me that I could never give.

“Where are yuh from?” I wondered if the hint of a slur in his voice was from mere disinterest, or if he’d already begun numbing himself with some bottle stashed amidst the grime-streaked walls. “Not gonna tell me your name, either, I assume?” My jaw ground shut, gaze turning blindly to the dark ceiling above us. He offered no further warning before clicking another button to unleash the next rush of water. I managed to keep most of it from flooding my mouth, but the pressure forced enough up my nose to send me into another fit of strangled coughs.

“You’re with the Republic, yeah? Some kinda spy or something? What’s that fancy swamp planet…” He seemed to think it over for several seconds before remembering. “Naboo! You from Naboo?” Breath shattering between clattering teeth, I kept my attention turned pointedly away from him, clinging to some distant memory that it was better to remain silent during an interrogation; that even shouted curses yielded more easily to breaking than simply never speaking at all, and then I had to come to terms with that simple fact that that’s exactly what this was: an interrogation.

How long had it been since the gala? Was I still on the same planet? Was I on a planet at all? I didn’t want to acknowledge what the answers to those questions might mean; didn’t want to let myself listen for the rumble of engines or hum or air recyclers. It was easier not to know.

A tsk sounded from the man beside me, and I had to fight not to let my expression crumble beneath that fear.

“A’right.” I wanted to slap him for the disinterest in that breathy sigh, anger drawing my lips into a scowl. Again, there was no warning. A dark sack was pulled roughly over my face. I had just enough time to gasp before that water began to pour down. My chest bucked with violent fits, fighting to force some sliver of air through the endless onslaught, but it wouldn’t stop. Why wouldn’t it stop?

The was a moment when that determination first faltered beneath the weight of a panic no amount of logic could hope to supersede; a fleeting breadth of understanding just how alone I was, how little I meant, and how hopeless even the denial that forbade me from listening for engines truly was, because regardless my dreams and nightmares, regardless the sincerity of my intentions or the purpose I once believed drove me through moments when I wanted nothing more than to shatter, the simple reality was that death didn’t care and all I’d done would amount to nothing. There was no promise of one more chance, no reason swaying whether I lived or died, no thought beyond a bone-deep, primal terror, and not a damn thing I could do to change any of it.

Powerless, I laid beneath the flow of soured water, body thrashing uselessly as the man just stood there, watching; waiting. I couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe, the sensation of that sack about my face constricting with each failed gasp overwhelmed every memory I’d ever made, forsook every imagined possibility of a future, dispelled whatever higher knowledge supposedly separated sentience from feral beasts, and I knew he was utterly impartial to all of it as my lungs burned, spine wrenching against restraints that offered no leeway. The weakness that crept up my limbs was a strange thing. I barely noticed it beneath the new form of darkness overtaking me, yet some whisper of frustration balked at how quickly my muscles began to fail, how deafening my heartbeat became as those frantic coughs faded beneath wet gurgles.

Still, there was some futile sense of denial, a disbelief promising me that he wouldn’t actually let me die; that this was merely some sick form of intimidation meant to break me, and I knew exactly how foolish that thought was as the water flooded my lungs.

-

Agony filled my chest, my head. Fire burned my sinuses and left my throat raw as my torso convulsed in violent coughs even as I strained for breath, begging my own body to grant me some small taste of air. It felt like waking; like I’d been asleep for ages, mind hazed beneath that fog of confusion.

“..ere yuh are… Come on back.” Was that voice familiar? I vaguely thought it shouldn’t be despite how my eyes automatically travelled toward it, unable yet to make out anything beyond a blurred shaped. “Can you tell me your name?” Were his words slurring, or was my hearing merely faltering beneath that disorientating weariness eager to drag me back into unconsciousness? I knew that question, though – it had long since become ingrained into my psyche from years of asking. What’s your name? What’s the date? Where are we, right now? Where…

My lips stumbled around an initial attempt at forming an answer but managed only a choked whimper beneath a hurt that left even strangled gasps crippling. That moment of physical hinderance was enough to grant the very beginnings of a clarity that threatened to break me as some distorted mockery of sensation slowly began to return; glimpses of soiled walls, the scent of putrid water, pain lancing through joints held fast about the hard surface beneath me, through flesh left raw and torn from how violently my body had struggled against restraints still binding my wrists and ankles, looped about my chest and stomach, and the fear that stole through me was like nothing I’d ever known.

In an instant, my heart began to race, the rhythm far too quick to not be a danger in itself, but I could spare no thought toward something so mundane as a heart attack as my every muscle began to convulse, the icy obstruction of adrenaline flooding my veins as logic and rationale faltered in the wake of memories.

“Damn… figured it’d figured take longer ‘en that.” He mumbled, and I froze at the bundle of still dripping cloth hanging from his hand, unable to either tear my gaze away nor stomach the sight of it. “‘ere’s how this works,” he started, utterly unmoved by how my body shied from him as he reached toward me with that cursed fabric. “Ain’t gotta go through any of that again if you don’t want to.” The way my every cell screamed against the feeling of that mask being pulled even halfway down my face left me thrashing anew, numb to any damage sustained from how desperately I found myself flailing against my bounds. “Just gotta answer my questions, an’ it all stops.”

There was no thought; no memory even of how to think as the first drops of water danced atop my forehead. My every muscle tightened, body wrenching away with more force than it could take. Something cracked. I didn’t feel it. My teeth ground together even as my jaw strained to open, to drag as much of that precious, stale air into my lungs as I could.

“Who are yuh working with?” Rage. There was no suffocating torrent of liquid. It was barely a splash, but he knew exactly how little work he needed to do to rend me into that hysterical frenzy that so effortlessly robbed me of all but my most ancient, primal instinct, and I loathed him for how quickly it worked, lips wrenching back into a snarl.

The next gush held none of that earlier restraint. Water filled my mouth and flooded my nose, instantly sending me into ragged, gagging coughs, body jerking in an effort to at least lean onto my side that I might rid my airway of that burning, frigid certainty of drowning.

“Who orchestrated the explosion?” I thought of the mercenary as another surge of water poured over me just long enough to leave me gasping.

How do I free him!

“Who was the target?” I don’t know if there were words in whatever scream I felt tearing through my throat, but he waited mere seconds, unmoved by my choked cries.

Tell me.

“Who placed the bombs?” His emotionless voice reverberated through the darkness, lifting the mask just clear of my lips after each question before dragging it back down in the wake of answers that left him wanting, and I could only flail atop that unyielding surface as he unleashed that frigid water again and again.

I thought of the hatred in my brother’s eyes as my mind flickered at the edges of suffocation.

“Who ordered the hit?”

Did I deserve this?

“Who’s behind the assassination attempt?”

Why didn’t he just kill me?

“Tell me who ordered the hit.”

Kill me.

“Who were you sent to kill?”

Kill me kill me kill me

“Who placed the bombs?”

His earlier boredom was beginning to turn impatient. My body barely managed to struggle anymore. Didn’t matter.

“Who ordered the hit?”

I wanted that darkness. Yearned for it… because anything was better than this endless torture, hours and seconds and years of drowning with no hope of it ever stopping, no sense of time, no sense of self.

“Who-”

The sudden flurry of sounds meant nothing. I’d long since lost any grasp on reality, more certain that I was already dead than I was that those harsh, broken wheezes voiced my own, failing attempts at breath. I don’t know when that sack had been removed nor what muttered pleas tumbled listlessly from numb lips. Flashes of grey and white armor held no meaning, nor did whispered words blaring through speakers, though I remembered some fleeting thought toward the futility of whispering into a mic.

Movement. It didn’t feel like that perceived sense of endlessly falling preceding loss of consciousness… It felt like… running? My eyelids bat against the illusion painted atop the black cloth I was so sure awaited me the instant I managed to truly see. It wasn’t until I tried to move that that madness returned. No restraints held my arms trapped behind me. No unyielding board pressed painfully into my back. I was held only by the arms looped beneath my knees and shoulders, and the instant I understood that, I fought with every hint of strength granted to me by that panic-induced insanity.

I couldn’t hear anything above the chorus of sudden shouts, focus trained solely on freeing myself of that near embrace. I’d barely begun to thrash before feeling the floor rise up to meet me, body instantly kicking out to distance myself from my captor until my heels slid useless atop muck-coated stone, doing nothing more than pressing my back more firmly into the wall behind me.

“…” Muffled words lost beneath the pounding of my heart and the rasp of air catching in too-moist lungs fluttering with hyperventilated breaths stolen between wet coughs. I tried to draw my arms between myself and the figure kneeling before me, but could barely convince my hands to twitch, flared fingers trembling mere inches above the ground.

“…! …ack! Come on, kid; come back!” His voice finally broke through that frenzy, and my eyes locked on his, every muscle freezing beyond that persistent shiver I couldn’t begin to quell. He seemed to hold his breath, waiting to see if I’d break again. My brows drew weakly together, thoughts too frantic to more than stare at him for several seconds.

“…W… Wol…” His shoulders sank at my stammered attempt to call his name.

“Right here, kid.” It was such a strange thing to hear the gentleness in his voice, but that lingering sense of wrong drew me further from the shattered recess of my mind, vaguely noting the four figures posted around us, and I didn’t need to see their helms to know who they were, that they had their weapons trained on the corridors stretching out at either side of me, ready to fire at the faintest hint of a threat. They’d found me… This was real… So, why couldn’t I free myself of that relentless fear, that deafening need to run, to find some dark corner and hide?

“I need to get you out of here.” He explained, words purposefully slowed in a way I should have taken offense to. In that moment, however, that slowness was the only reason I could make sense of them. Get out… They were going to get me out of here… but my body revolted from the very thought of letting him touch me again, of letting anyone touch…

“You can hold on to me, or I can carry you, but we can’t stay here.” I wanted to shout at that familiar, cold logic, the silent apology nestled in his hushed statement, frustration spiking at the weakness preventing my hands from clasping over my ears regardless how useless I knew the gesture to be.

“Hey – hey, look at me.” The guilt tainting his command made me want to scream even as my eyes automatically flicked back to his, some distant thought finally realizing he’d forgone protocol in favor of letting me see his face, helmet abandoned on the ground beside him. My name left his lips in a whisper, head ducking slightly to draw my unsteady gaze back toward him.

“We need to move.” My jaw tensed with curses and pleas and senseless shouts, despite my inability to hold enough breath to manage more than a stammered whimper, chest still seizing with half coughs from the phantom sensation of flooded lungs.

“Do you want me to sedate you?” He barely murmured the quiet offer, head ducking toward me. Did I… I thought of that blissful emptiness… that escape from this fear, from the pain of wounds I couldn’t remember sustaining, from the anger wrought by my own inability to force some semblance of control over myself, and, with a sob, I nodded. His expression darkened, but he said nothing as he returned the gesture.

“Close your eyes.” He whispered, and the tremble seizing through me redoubled, terror spiking at the threat of subjecting myself to that darkness. “You’re going to be alright, kid… Just close your eyes.” He promised… I’d never doubted him before… not like this… but how could I possibly believe him? I knew he could see how frightened I was, how lost I was in that fear; I knew he was counting every second wasted trying to guide me through this, how each of those seconds redoubled the risk of being caught, but he said nothing as I struggled to find myself through that panic, and he wasted no time when I finally managed to force my eyes shut.

The instant I felt the prick of needles, my body balked, managing to jump mere inches away, but his touch was already there, hand delicately catching my cheek as those fleeting reserves of strength abandoned me, muscles quickly going limp against him.

“Alright… I’ve got you… I’ve got you.” A final shiver darted down my spine as the warmth of his breath danced across my scalp, barely noting how carefully he eased me back into his arms, but the distant familiarity of finding myself nestled against him, of tasting his scent in my every stammered gasp even as I felt my mind begin to slip away was a comfort I clung to until even that faded.

Next Chapter

Click here or message me if you'd like to be added to a taglist!

Click here for my Masterlist.

Taglist: @arctrooper69 @eclec-tech @kixs-husband @jennrosefx @echos-girlfriend @starqueensthings @manofworm @merkitty49 @idoubleswearimawriter @abigfanofstarwars @chopper-base @daftdarling222 @pb-jellybeans @bacta-the-future @rosechi @legalpadawan @drummergirl1701 @6oceansofmoons @dangraccoon @ji5hine @dathomiri-mudpuppy @mooncommlink @isthereanechoinhere96 @inneedoffanfics @totally-not-your-babe @delialeigh @blondie-bluue @ray-rook @iabrokengirl @arcsimper5 @rndmpeep @amorfista @wanderneverlost @flawsandgoodintent @passionofthesith @followthepurrgil @roam-rs @foodmoneyandcats @savebytheodoresnonjosestuff @9902sgirl @captainrex89 @waytoooldforthis78 @msmeredithrose

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way: Chapter 6

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)

Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, an both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

Heavy on the warning for guns

**************************

Waking up with Joel meant morning sex, and now that he was recovered from food poisoning after a whole day of no sex, he was rock hard by the time you were up, rocking his hips in the curve of your ass. Not long later, he was fucking you on your sides, arms wrapped tightly around. You avoided his kiss; his breath smelled gross due to the puking, and he was courteous enough to keep his face buried in your hair. You were starting to find you really liked when he took you from behind, it hit something delicious inside you, bringing you close with every pump; how did he have this much energy so early?

“Uh, uh, uh” The sounds come out your mouth in rhythm to his thrusts, warmth covering your body, the pleasure building as you clung to Joel’s strong arm wrapped your middle, holding on for dear life. “Joel, Joel I’m close, please touch me? Gonna cum again”

“You wanna cum again, little one?” He panted, hot breath in your neck, arms moving up to grope your breasts. “Not every day I get two out of yuh”

“Yes sir, please” You whimper for him, even as his hand crept further up your body, away from where you need him, but you trusted Joel. “Wanna cum again, wanna cum with you.”

Suddenly, his large gruff hand clamped around your throat your breathing laboured and raspy as you lurch, and his face was right next to your, beard scratching your skin. “You gonna tell me why your fuck’n brother was here last night?”

All the blood in your body drained out of your body, a million questions in your head as you wrapped your hands around his large one trying to pull him off of you. How did he know? How much did he hear? Did your refusal to go with Zach seal not only your fate, but Zach’s Lorenzo’s, fuck… would Tommy be punished for this? “Joel, please.”

His hand tightened. “Answer me” He was inside you still, the reminisce of your ruined orgasm leaving you shaking

“H-he wanted to rescue me” you rasp out, wriggling against his body with your hand on him, trying to get out. 

“Then why the fuck are you still here?” His breath smelled like puke and morning breath, overpowering the smell of sex and adding to your heightened terror. Would Joel actually kill you for not going? 

“I din wa’a,” You cough, your throat hurting as your breathing is restricted. “Joel, ca- breath.” dark spots came around your eyes

He lessened his grip and you gasp, deep sputtering breathes filling your lungs again. “How the fuck did he get in? Where was Lorenzo?” You decide to let Lorenzo live, he knew too much about your brother, and you could still save Zach if you played your cards right. Besides, he was no Nick, you didn’t enjoy getting people hurt.

“Lorenzo was in the bathroom, I don’t know how he got in! Please,” You continued writhing as Joel was still inside you, and he began fucking you again but did not let go of your throat. “I didn’t wanna go, I wanted to stay with you.”

Joel’s speed was slow and steady, pulling all the way back and slamming in, making breathing even harder. “Do I need to kill your fucking brother?”

“No! No, Joel, please, I stayed, didn’t I? Please don’t.”

He stopped choking you, his neck around your throat suddenly so soft, his lips kissing your bruised neck and he changed positions; you on your back, Joel knelt before you as he fucked into you faster. “I won’t for now, little one, but just know if you leave, he’s the first place I’m going to and I’m making his death as slow as Nicks, understood?”

Looking up at him, still holding his hand around your neck, you nod frantically. “I won’t, I won’t Joel, I swear!” You cry; you want Tommy, but after last night you weren’t sure he’d come to your rescue anymore… and calling for him would solidify his death and yours, either way.

Sitting back and finally letting go of your throat and you get a full breath in, Joel pulls out and jacks off on you're body before collapsing back onto you, his heavy and ever-oddly comforting weight on you, despite the fact bruised your neck, you were so happy to have him with you, warm and gentle, you wrap your arms around his middle. 

Joel kisses you, and you aren’t even bothered by the smell anymore, just so happy for the affection. “Good, because if you ever try to fucking leave again I will tie you to the bed and set this fucking house on fire.”

You didn’t even have it in you to be scared, or hurt, or sad… you just swore up and down between kisses that you were his, and you never wanted to leave. When things calmed down, you were in his arms again, resting as he kissed your bruising neck.

“You play guitar?” You ask softly, looking at the 6 string all dusty resting up against his dresser.

“Use-tah. Long time ago.”

“Oh…” You couldn’t help the disappointment in your voice. “Okay”

Joel turned to you, his mouth leaving your neck. “Why?”

You kept looking away, embarrassed you got your hopes up. “Nothin”

Joel took your face in his jaw, turning you, forcing you to look at him. “Tell me, little one”

“I just… I was kinda hoping to hear something… that’s all, not a big deal”

His eyes darted between yours, you could practically hear him thinking, before he let go and abruptly stood up. “Don’t work, anyway. Needs strings. Besides, I havn’t played in years.”

“It’s okay” You smile up at him. Music would be nice… Zach played a little bit of piano, your mom had taught him some. He could play Red River Valley, singing it for you sometimes until Joel’s men destroyed the piano… that a few years ago, long before you every met Joel, or Tommy. You did recognize one of the men, one who lives here now. His name was Aiden. He was an asshole like Nick, but after Nick was skinned alive, he didn’t dare look at you. 

After a bath, (which you made Joel brush his teeth beforehand) you were back in your room as he left for ‘business’, and as expected, the door opened around noon, with a nervous looking Tommy entering carrying a tray with bread and the leftover soup from last night. “Hey honey- What the fuck!?” Tommy about dropped the food as he set it down and rushed over to you, hand on your neck. “Fucking hell, what did he do? When was this?” The frantic worry in his eyes was evident as he tilted your head with a soft, gentle grip on your chin, a contrast to Joel’s harsh one earlier this morning. 

But you pulled back, and Tommy let go of you. “It’s nothing, Tommy.”

His face dropped. “Hey… hey whats wrong?” He noticed your change in demeanor.

You glare at him, but without much power behind it. “I didn’t forget last night” I whisper.

Sighing, Tommy gets up to close the door and brings you your food. “I’m sorry, I really am.”

“You’re just sorry you got caught in a lie!”

“Yeah, yeah I am.” Tommy deadpans. “I never wanted you to find out, is that you want you here? But not because I want you here. I want you far, far away from Joel, as far away as you can, but not… not now…” He speaks in earnest, you want to believe him…

“I don’t want to leave, Tommy. That’s why I didn’t go with Zach while everyone was sick, I don’t wanna go. Joel… it’s better here”

Tommy’s fast twists into concern. “What do you… what does that mean?”

“I’m safe here. I’m safe from everything going on out there… Joel protects me.”

His face was unreadable. “Honey, no, no that’s…” Shaking his head, he tries to find the right words. “Joel’s not safe either, you know that right? He branded you, he raped you, he did that-” He references your bruised neck “To you!”

“Don’t yell at-”

“Joel is the bad guy! He is the one you need protection from!”

“He’s the one that killed Nick, Tommy!” You shout at him, angered. “Not you! You let Joel brand me, you let Joel rape in front of everyone, you LET HIM!” You stand up on your shitty mattress and Tommy stands with you. He is much taller but you do not waver as you point at him. “So don’t act like you are my savior, when you just have a savior complex! The only person who can protect me from Joel is Joel!” You don’t know why you are suddenly so angry… but god, everything from the last few months… you were locked up in your little room, the anger had to go somewhere… “Those men out there” You point outside “I could walk out here naked, and none of them would touch me, not because of you, but because of Joel! He only did this to my neck because Zach came and tried to take me when he couldn’t keep me safe from dad, he branded me because I tried to run, he raped me because I put up a fight, he hurts me when I or someone else does something and as long as no one interferes, that includes you, Tommy, everything is fine!” 

Tommy let you, he let you scream and yell because in the end, you were right. He could tell you that he was the one that made sure you ate every day, that stop the others when Joel left you to be gang raped, that he was the only patching up your wounds… but you were right, Joel still did every he wanted to you, and Tommy couldn’t stop him. Tommy knew what you meant by interfer… it had become clear how touchy he was, how he held you and cared for you… and he was putting you in danger as he did that.

“Okay” He whispers, eyes closed. “I get it. Joel is the one who protects you… not me…” He opens them, and you swear you saw his eyes glistening. “Can I still be your friend?” 

He looked so young all of a sudden, despite his mustache and the lies around his eyes… You calm down from your outburst, and you feel bad… feel bad for how much you yelled at someone who had only tried to help you… but you needed to be safe with Joel. “With the door open” You couldn’t leave room for suspicion.

Things with Tommy were different, after that. You withdrew from him, no longer spending hours playing card games and talking… but he still came and kept you company, as long as you’d allow him. But as soon as Joel was home, you belonged to the older brother. I wasn’t fair to Tommy, you knew… but neither Joel nor Tommy had been through what you had, were living through what you were, and you were just trying to survive. Tommy was no longer your refuge. You slept in Joel’s bed every night, you spent more time with Joel than Tommy… and Tommy began spending more time working… He’d go away over nights more and more, sometimes a few days at a time… you couldn’t help but miss him, but this was your bed to lay in. You did have more freedom, however. Since you had an opportunity to leave and didn’t Joel trusted you more. You cooked sometimes, began cleaning a bit… it was something to do, and you began to enjoy it. Plus, the men were a lot less cold to you when you’re the one providing real home cooked food; a few thank you’d had been mumbled here and there, mostly from Jack who was the more polite of the group.

You had gone to bed in Joel's arms, fell asleep in his tight grasp, safe and warm, Tommy was out on some overnight trip when you woke up to commotion in the living area, shouts of the men, Joel screaming about something, clearly on a rager and you were going to stay in bed until Joel settled it and inevitable came back to the room wanting to use your sleeping body to blow off steam… when you heard it. Tommy yelling in pain. Instantly, you forgot about every you had been angry about, and rushed out the door in time to see Joel pistol whip Tommy in front of a crowd of the men. You vaguely register Jack telling you to stay out of it and Aziz saying ‘don’t’, but it didn’t matter; Joel was hurting Tommy.

“Joel stop!” You scream and run to Joel, but stop dead in your track as Joel turned the gun on you, and you find yourself wide-eyed and back into the wall, staring at the barrel of a gun as Tommy trying to tell Joel to stop from where he lay on the ground.

Joel wasn’t listening, his voice smooth and calm despite the shaking rage behind them. “How long you been sleep’n with my brother, little one?” 

You were frozen in place, unable to speak, but Tommy was trying to get up, still reeling from the pistol whip that had his head bleeding. “Joel, no, we never did anything, I was just keeping her company-”

He lowers the gun temporarily. “No way you put yourself between me and a man unless he’s fucked your stupid little pussy.” He tapped your cunt with the gun before bringing it back up.

"Joel, no-" You whisper, terrified

“Close your eyes” He said to you, his voice a deadly calm, before shouting. “CLOSE YOUR EYES!” 

In the background, you can hear vaguely as Tommy tries to reason with Joel, stumbling to get up; he is on one knee, his hand reaching out using his signature ‘calm down, Joel’ voice, but right now, you are looking into Joel’s eyes, so often filled with affection for you, but now dead and cold. You do as you are told, closing your eyes, your knees about to buckle in fear of Joel painting the wall with your brain matter. “I didn’t-” You try to say, but stop as Joel caresses your face with the barrel of the gun, gently shushing you.

“Here's what we’re doing sweetheart” If you weren’t away of the situation, his tone wasn’t unlike how he’d gentle coax you into whatever position he wanted you in. “When you open your eyes,you’re gonna tell me ‘No Joel, I never slept with with your goddamn pathetic stupid dumbass pussy of a brother’ in more or less words and if I don’t believe you…” He tapped your cheek twice making little gun shots sounds. “No more pretty little girl, okay?”

It takes everything in you to not cry, merely whimpering as you feel the cool metal on your cheek, and you nod. You were almost certain you couldn’t do this. You had never been a good liar, only held on this long because Joel seemed to trust you… seemed to think you were in a relationship early on when all he did was hurt you. But now, now you’d have to look him in the eyes and lie, and almost certainly you’d be dead moments later.

“Okay” You whisper, voice quite.

“Joel, c’mon, leave her out of this”

Joel didn’t look at him. “Not helping her case, Tom” He nudges you with the gun. “Times up, open your eyes.”

You take a deep, steadying breath and open them, you are ready to try and lie, to save yourself, to save Tommy… you open your mouth. “I n-”

“I made her do it” Tommy’s voice broke out from behind Joel, causing him to turn around, and your knees gave out in relief. You only stop from hitting the floor because Lorenzo catches you, setting you down, and stepping away lest he get caught up in all this.

“Bullshit” Joel said, but you could see the gears turning.

“I did! It was her first time, and, I wanted it, that’s why I wanted you to wait” Tommy wasn’t the best liar, but he was trying to deflected it away from you.

“No,” Joel shook his head. “No, she bled when I took’er, I remember her bleed’n”

“Because you RAPED HER DRY, JOEL!” Tommy’s frustration with his brother boiled over. 

“Shut up!” Joel screamed, defensive. “I did no such thing!”

Tommy’s laugh was dry, sardonic. “You’re playing house with her, but you forget you kidnapped her! She’s not your wife, she’s a victim of your rape and abuse!”

“Shut! Up!” 

“Jesus CHRIST, Joel, she’s younger than Sarah would’ve been!”

“Don’t you fucking talk about her” Joel’s deadly calm was back. “You don’t fucking do that”

Tommy wouldn’t stop. “If Sarah were alive, she’d be disgusted with you, she’d never fucking talk to you-” 

The gun blast made you scream and cover your face, you aguely here Lorenzo, Jack, and a few others shout something.... you couldn’t look, knowing you’d see Tommy dead. All the times he had tried to help you, tried to ease things, and you had gotten him killed for taking your virginity. You sat back against the wall crying… you had gotten Tommy killed, Tommy died because of you… your fault, your fault, your fault... Suddenly, you are being dragged to stand up. “Get up!” Joel bellows, his strong arms dragging you to Tommy’s dead body and all you can do is scream hysterics. “Stand! Up!”

When you finally do stand, you open your eyes only to find Tommy still alive and kneeling before you, a gunshot in the wall above him. 

Joel pulls motions for another gun from Diego, and puts it in your hands, holding it still as he pulls his own gun back on your forehead. “Liste up, little one” His voice is soft, a feather light breath against your cheek as he leans close. He aims the gun at Tommy, the barrel between his eyes. “Tommy’s been running around behind my back with that cunt in Jackson, fucking her and telling her god knows what about me and my business”

“Joel, I swear, I never told her anything!” Tommy pleads.

You blink, and you can’t feel a little… betrayed… He was sleeping with someone?

Joel noticed.

“Awwww, did Tommy make you feel special?" He mocked you. "Tommy make you feel like you were the only one he was fucking, the only one he treated all nice. Guess what, little one, you're not special t him. I get he's got loads of other whores he fucked, you're just the little kept girl when he wants some naive pussy" Joel kisses your neck "But... You are special to me, you are the only one I’m fucking, you are the only women in my life, and yet… you still fuck around with Tommy." He sounds almost... hurt... "But I’m gracious, I’ve forgiving.” He forced you too look directly at him, and his eyes… they were soft again, the softness you couldn’t help fall for. “I love you, he doesn’t. Now.” Joel straightened up and stepped back, but the gun never left your head. “I’m gonna count down from ten, and if you shoot him, you proved yourself to me, and we can go on being happy, being together.” He kisses your cheek, smelling your hair as he pulled away. “If you don’t… and I reach 0, I blow your fucking brains out, okay?”

You begin crying.

“Joel, don’t do this to her”

“10… 9…”

“I can’t! Joel I’m sorry, Joel, I love you, I can’t kill him!”

“8… 7…”

“Honey look at me” Tommy’s desperate voice calls you, and you turn to him, his beautiful brown eyes looking up at your where he is kneeling, his dark, long hair tousled. He schooled his expressions, peace on his face for your sake. “It’s okay. Do it.”

“6… 5…”

“Tommy no, I can’t hurt you.” There's gotta be another way…

“It’s okay” He nods. “I’m ready. Right through the head, it’ll be quick.”

“4… 3..”

“I can’t” You sob.

“Yes, yes you can, it’s okay. Just do it, stay alive, and Joel will keep you safe.”

Tommy, sweet, kind Tommy… He would not die at your hands, and you would not die at Joels

“No.” You drop your gun to your side and turn to Joel; you can see the confusion in his eyes. “No, you won’t do it.”

“2… yes I will”

“Honey, it’s okay, I promise you-” But you weren’t listening to Tommy.

“No, you won’t hurt me. You love me too much”

“I will, 1”

You don’t blink. You keep your eyes locked on Joels, his deep brown eyes swimming with confliction and hurt… betrayal from both you and Tommy. 

But he doesn’t shoot you. Ever so slowly, you take the gun in your hand and put it back in his. You could’ve used it to shoot him… but it would’ve been useless and probably ended with a bullet in your head for real this time. Instead, Joel looks at you with nothing short of aw as he lowers his gun. You trusted him. You refuse a rescue, you knew he wouldn’t shoot you, and you give up your weapon to him… He owned you, completely.

“You won’t kill me. And you wont kill Tommy either, because you love both of us. You are going to let Tommy go, run off to Jackson, and Tommy is never going to divulge any of your secrets.” You turn to Tommy, who has sat back on his hunches, looking at you with confusion. “Because if he does, you’ll know who betrayed him” You tell Tommy with your eyes not to fuck this up. Then, back to Joel. “And then you and I can live here happily ever after, without anyone interfering.”

Joel stirred at you for a long while, considering his options… but he knew, deep down, he couldn’t kill either of you. He was furious at Tommy for his betrayal, for fucking that bitch Maria, for lying to him, for taking your virginity when that was suppossed to be his… but Tommy was his little brother. Long before Sarah died in his arms, long before this virus, long before the empire that he built that began as just trying to keep Tommy alive… it was him and Tommy, their whole lives. He was his brother, Joel had saved his skin again and again and Tommy had Joel’s back when Joel’s wife left him, and helped raise Sarah… Sarah… Tommy’s words stuck in his head, what would Sarah think of him? He wasn’t a rapist, despite what Tommy said, he wasn’t that kind of man… but he could be softer, he could’ve been better to the girl he kept locked up… Sarah, if she was watching somewhere, could never forgive him if Joel killed her uncle she adored so much…

“Lorenzo” Joel called, and the short hair man stepped up. “Get him the fuck outta here, dump him once he’s off my fucking property. And if anyone sees him here again, or if anyone sees her-” Joel points to you “Outside without anyone, shoot them.”

Lorenzo nodded, and began pulling Tommy away. Tommy gave one desperate look back at you, and was out the door before you could blink. 

You don’t have a second to process that your best friend just left you before Joel is pulling you into the bedroom, pushing you against the wall and shoving your pants down. He thrusts into you with no preparation and you stifle a whimper on your hand, but Joel pulls it down.

“Wanna here you cry, little one. That pain? The pain is mine. Your cries are mine, your cunt is mine. And if you bleed?” Just then, his face is right next to yours, his beard wiping the tears that rolled down your cheeks. “Your blood is mine. Got it?”

“Yes sir” You moaned out the way he likes to hear. You were growing wet embarrassingly fast, his cock hitting that lovely, lovely spot you loved so much and suddenly, you had forgotten about how he had almost killed you, the slap of skin and his arm groping your breasts, fingers playing with your nipples as he fucked into you drawing you closer. Joel came inside you, something he had only done after Nick, it was as if he was laying his claim, possessing you as his hot cum and some of your blood trickle down your leg. Joel had a new surprise for you.

He lifted you over his shoulder and tossed you onto the bed and you watched him crawl up to you, his eyes hungry and you had no idea what was possibly coming… when Joel began to lick your cunt, you were shocked, hips bucking up but Joel was quick to pin you down; he laid down in front of you on his stomach with his arms wrapped around your legs and christ, it was like he was trying to devour you. You felt his tongue reaching up inside you, his fingers playing with your clit the way only he knew how and the sensation was so new, so unreal, you weren’t sure how to take it. 

But you did. you took every single bit he gave you as he cleaned you up of his own spent, his tongue licking and sucking and slurping you up eagerly, plush lips devouring you whole as if he could eat you alive, keeping you with him forever and becoming a part of him like an unholy communion. His tongue laved out as he brought his mouth up and over your clit, making you shutter...

And when his mouth sloppily latched onto your clit and two thick fingers were fucking into you? You came in under a minute after that. 

“Fuuuuuuuck!”  You cry out as if all of today's events never happened. “Joel!” You scream out as you cum, not caring that Lorenzo might hear you, that he probably thinks you're pathetic for getting such pleasure from the man whose gun had kissed your forehead the way his lips kissed your cheek now as you reveled in the afterglow of your orgasm. You expected Joel to threaten you about what happened with Tommy, to wrap his fingers around your throat or grip your face harshly… but he just kissed you as he pulled you close, covering the two of you up. Still, you new he was references sleeping with Tommy, when his last words before bed were-

“Please don’t do that to me again.”

You cupped his face and assured him you’d never leave, that you are his.

You are his.

*******************

bye bye tommy : (

out of curiousity, i have a lil pole

Thank you to everyone who comments, likes and especially reblogs!

A note for reading dark fics. I know we all preach and askf or reblogs which is v v v true, they are the only way to spread our work, but i understand given the content of a dark fic, maybe you dont wanna have that on your blog. If thats the case, if my work or the other amazing authors inspire you to, please consider leaving a comment, or even an anon ask tell the writer why you liked it! It helps us know what people like, and encourages writing.

You are all so wonderful and supoortive though, thank you!!!

if you'd like to be added or removed from the tag list LMK

and i think my next fic here will be a dark!nathan bateman so if you'd like to be tagged in that, comment below!

Thank you all to my wonderful readers, i appriciate all of you

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin

[thedivineart]

PICK A CARD: WHAT CAREER IS THE BEST FOR YOU [ career series reading #01 ]

notify: please do remember this is a general reading- take what is resonate and leave what is doesn't, to choose a pile, kindly close your eyes and take a deep breath and choose the one that your soul find it alluring, images that used are my screenshot from the "Bejeweled" music video of Taylor Swift.

❝ ⁱ ᶜᵃⁿ ˢᵗⁱˡˡ ᵐᵃᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ʷʰᵒˡᵉ ᵖˡᵃᶜᵉ ˢʰⁱᵐᵐᵉʳ ❞ 

PILE ONE PILE TWO PILE THREE

masterlist • pick a card • paid services form

PILE ONE

You're the type of person who is intellegent and have alot of creative ideas or plans, you are naturally a innovative person who is clever and do their best in any thing or in a situation, you use the power of your mind or intellegent to achieve what you want and need in life. you use your possible reasoning to solve conflicts or confront issues that may occur in the present and for future, you might be good at communication and as well in argumentative situation or in a simply dicussion since you are someone who uses smart word and know what your going to say so you rarely to lose in argument though you can be appear as competitive individual. Also you judge very wisely and uses mind often rather than heart, you want to pursue a career that related to law, science or a writer or journalist for a living. you are also someone who doesn't afraid to show how much they enjoy life, you like to try things, you have full faith. like i said above that you uses mind than heart, there's some people who choose this pile uses their heart rather than their mind, like listening in their heart and follow their bliss. I think some people here are too young maybe a teenager or in early 20's that don't still have job or expeirence or still studying.

CAREER THAT SUITED FOR YOU:

mostly: attorney or lawyer, writer, journalist, professional astrologer, doctor, educator, something related to travel, related to justice

PILE TWO

I think some people who pick this pile is already working, if you have been working for so long then all your efforts will going to recognize sooner and possibly have awards/recognition or even promition. you are someone who is a skilled worker however you may work with 3 or more people in future and i see that in that group may be you are the leader or the boss. you are someone who have strong ambition in life and not in rush to get in finish line. If you are someone who will go on college, don't attend in long distance learning or home learning since education in school can improve your surroundings like having more self-esteem. However don't study the course you are not interested with just for the sake of others, may be your parents wants you to be come a doctor you will get that, no, doesn't mean they are in the field of medical, or accountancy or, farming etc. does it mean you will follow them and will be suited for you, follow what is your most interested or desire job but if you really want what others want for you then proceed to it. I'm seeing 22 yrs and below but can be older as well, you are someone who can be talkative and bright person. when you finish or not you have scholarships that's why your educated person, you could be someone who is quick in thinking or having new ideas in few minutes but i'm also feel that your always nervous at the times like performing or presenting in front of other people.(you could be a libra sun or rising). you also someone hated sports and some here your parents forced you to be in sport when you are young. yuh, mostly who choose this pile are just teenager who always on their phones or gadgets and still student. you could also love anime/hello kitty and went obsess/crazy for it over a month. you could be also artistic and intuitive, (astrologer or intuitive tarot reader), you are someone who is sensitive and cry easily and may have alot of crushes.

CAREER THAT SUITED FOR YOU:

mostly: architect, engineer, web desinger, blogger/journalist, management and finance, artist, fashion designer, loan officer, agent, flight attendant/pilot, something related to travel(air), computer programmer, poet

PILE THREE

you are someone who seeks for prosperity and joy from material world or away from material world, it seems you just recently abandon or will abandon something in your life, and your reason is because "there is something better out there" and you want to get it. you changed your priorities and many people said it to you, you grown up and become mature to the point that your family and/or friends hardly to recognise you anymore. you may also became an introverted individual(not all) and can be very private person, and will only do what is right for you rather than what is right for the others, you may also insecure about your own abilities or may feel alone if working or your lacking in communication and you may have anger issues. a very conservative person and not following trends like tiktok?fashion trends?idk, and you like to buy things/goods that is good quality but the prize doesn't matter as long you can use it for a very long time. people see you as quiet and reserved but doesn't mean aloof. Ohh, you are someone who is kind, helpful and also trustworthy, you may also appear someone who is rich or people think you are like that and you have bigger plans for your own future. I'm also sensing you don't want to work with other and want to be a boss and prefer to work for yourself, you also believe that before achieving success you need to start in small things to be bigger, mostly who pick this pile would likely to be a bussiness person in the future.

CAREER THAT SUITED FOR YOU:

mostly: bussiness person, professor, real state agent, military(not officer), related to nature, something related to travel, writer, architect, loan officer or mortgage broker

source:@goddess-artemis

[3rr0rc0d3]

He's my valentine~ // Best Friend!John "Soap" Mctavish x Mafia!Male!Reader

You and Johnny have been friends for a damn long time, what happens when you slowly realize you have feelings for the man? Does he love you back? Surely he does right? Surely. But how can he love a man like you? Someone that does the things you do.

Chap 1 : Night time Maccies run.

[Prologue][Chap 2]

CW : Mafia and Military inaccuracies ( I am in neither lord so help me), somewhat vague descriptions of gore, blood, implied torture, murder, kidnapping, reader vaping and the two besties being gross.

“Around what time do you think you’re coming home Johnny?” You asked, as you talked to him through the phone.

“I'll be home around two in the morning, I'll have tae get ye to open the door for me lad.” Johnny responded happily to which you nodded and looked back at the tied up debtor in front of you.

“Right, I'll see you when you get to the house, yeah? I gots to get back to work.” You smiled and he let out a whine.

“But- Ah whatever i'll see ya later lad.” He muttered as he begrudgingly ended the call. You silently put your phone back in your pocket and smile at the captive in front of you.

“Hmph… Now where were we?” You sighed.

—

You leaned against your car, having come to the base instead of having him come to your shared apartment. You stood up properly when you saw Johnny, who seemed to look extra happy to see you since he quickly ran up and hugged you.

He smelled of wet grass, gunpowder, sweat and…blood. Did you care? No. Why would you? After all, your job is not as different as you'd like to think. You knew as a man in the military he would have to get his hands bloody eventually.

“Cmon Johnny, let's go home. You must be tired, huh?” You smirk, teasing him a little, to which he nods and sits on the passenger side. You glance over, checking to see if he's all buckled in, and he is. Sleeping too, his head leaned against the window, body slumped on the seat a little, it made you chuckle, shake your head and start your quiet drive to your home. A quaint thing, you had bought it a couple years back and started living with Johnny there. Johnny on the way home wakes up, all grumpy, stomach growling and all.

“I’m hungry…” Johnny grumbled and looked at you while putting his hand on his stomach, still sitting wrong on the seat.

“You want Maccies?” You asked, eyes flicking towards him, he gives you a nod and you nod in return, setting your course to the nearest mcdonalds. Soon after you arrive the two of you go through the drive through.

“Can I please get a large big mac meal with large fries, no pickles on that one please, a large coke with that one, yeah. And can I get a large iced latte, caramel syrup please and a large fries.”

“And an oreo McFlurry…”

“And an Oreo McFlurry.” You repeated and pulled up to the next window, paying for it, then pulling up to the next window.

“Thanks.” Johnny mumbled as he slowly started waking up fully.

“No problem. Don't need to pay me back for this one love, just dont choke right?” You chuckle as you hand him the paper bag full of food and drive to the large empty parking lot after rolling the window up. Johnny hands you your fries and drink before digging in on his burger, you chuckle and wipe a crumb off his face.

"Got work tomorrow morning?" Johnny asked with his mouth full.

"Nah, but I will take work calls just in case they need help, I'm all yours while you're home though." You say as you sip on your iced latte and eat a few chips.

"Thas good. Thas good… " Johnny smiled and finished up his burger, burping loudly making the two of you laugh.

"Jeeeesus man, you burp like yer dad!." You say while panting slightly from laughing too much.

"Nuh uh!"

"Yuh huh!"

"Call 'im!"

"Maybe I will… not… It's 3:40 am dude. Big man would kill me if I did." You both shudder at the thought of Johnny's dad all grumpy and woken up in the middle of the night just to be asked a silly question. He just nods in understanding of you not wanting to die that way.

"Head home?" Johnny asked and you nodded. You soon started your drive home, it was quiet and peaceful, so much so that Johnny had fallen back asleep. The ride home was still long anyways, you had time to think…

—

"Please! Ill have the money by next week! I swear, i just need more ti- Gh!" The man struggled against one of your goons' hand as he was grabbed by the throat and held up high against the wall. Tou walk up to the lowlife slowly, taking a puff of your vape, your favorite flavor.

"You're pathetic eh? Lowlife scum gamblin everythin away while your missus and kids struggle at home huh?" You scoff and blow the smoke right into his face becore nodding to your men, letting the man drop.

"Im gonna fuckin make you beg for death."

—

You had killed before this was recent so it was fresh on your mind, you had killed the man just today but had started on him last week, it only took a day for the man to finally break and start begging to be set free, and two days to start begging to die. Then, you killed him.

—

"Sir, cleanup crew will be here half past 2." One of your subordinates informed you, with you crouched over the disemboweled man in front of you. His disfigured face permanently locked in a state of horror. Blood all over your hands and soles of your shoes along with the clear apron you wore to protect your clothes, after all you didnt want to have to either burn your clothes nor try to get the bloodstains out.

—

You sigh softly, now just pulling into your garage, you unbuckle yourself then johnny, smiling tp yourself as you carry the man to his room.

"Night shithead." You whisper softly and go to walk off but he stops you by pulling you into bed with him. He holds you tight, giving you no room to wiggle your way out. Soon enough you feel yourself falling asleep, your eyes feeling heavier and heavier.

SO SORRY THAT WAS SO LATE SCHOOL IS LITERAL HELL- AAAANYWAYS HERES MY masterlist AND AND AND UH... HERE EAT UP!!!!

[azalea-writes]

Can I have the brothers (+ undateables and luke) to an aloof, nosy, professional therapist MC mentally examining Mammon, diagnosing him with depression and adhd, and having the “audacity” to state that his environment is toxic? Oddly specific but it came to mind and I can’t write well.

A/N: I'm sorry if this didn't come out the way you wanted! I ended up writing a fanfic about a family therapy session focusing on Mammon oops. Also, I'm not a therapist and just pulled most of this information from my memories when I did go to therapy el oh el.

Family Therapy Gone... Right?! (Not clickbait)

WARNING: uhmmm I wrote most of this at midnight. not proofread. bad fanfic I believe. ooc i think. I haven't played obey me in a while so yuh.

Word Count: 1.8k words

Alt: Enjoy!

***

When you first came into the Devildom, you thought you were getting a break from your job. Surely the 7 deadly sins didn't need a therapist? They're demons after all, what kind of problems would they have?

Oh how wrong you were...

Over your stay in the Devildom, you were getting suspicious that Diavolo just wanted to get a free therapist for the brothers. He could at least not let you go to school... You have to spend your day babysitting a bunch of man-children, who whine at you when you don't give them attention for every second of the day, AND having to finish all your homework.

It wasn't until after you helped Belphie get out from the attic that you decided to take action. You had a notebook full to the brim with notes about this family and their problems. Most of these notes came from examining the seven brothers. Sure, some of them got mad at you for being nosy, but you were persistent!

***

"Mammon, how much do you love your brothers?" You had asked, tilting your head to the side. Mammon seemed flustered at the question.

"H-How much I love them? Nah! The only thing I love is my baby, Goldie! I don't... really care for... my brothers..." Mammon came off boastful, only to end up whispering the last part, as if it hurts to say it out loud.

"Ah, okay, so a ton?" You nodded, as if Mammon just didn't deny caring for his brothers.

"Oi! Did you hear any words I said?!" Mammon yelled, albeit a bit flustered. Classic Mammon, he loves to deny that he cares about anyone but his money.

"Don't worry Mammon, we all go through the five stages of denial at some point of our lives," You smiled at him.

"I ain't denying anything!"

"So, from a scale of 1-10, how emotionally vul-"

"Stop asking me those damn questions!"

***

Albeit, some notes came from them just outright telling you about their tragic backstory after staying with them for a short amount of time.

Looking back at your notebook, you let out a long, frustrated sigh. It also doesn't help that they all collectively use Mammon as their punching bag. You decided to put an end to all of this. For the sake of Mammon and for the sake of this family's well being! Maybe for your own mental health as well...

All of that led to now, the common room having the 7 demon brothers sit together around the fireplace. One one sofa, Mammon was between Asmo and Satan. On the other sofa, Beel was in between Belphie and Levi. Lucifer sat on the armchair while you decided to sit on a chair that you stole from the nearby table, opting to sit in front of the fireplace.

"I have to say, I'm surprised that you got Levi out of his room," Asmo snickered while looking at said brother.

"S-Shut up! I didn't want to be here with y-you normies! MC can be quite intimidating sometimes..." Levi whispered the last part while looking at you. You just gave a close-eyed smile which made Levi gulp.

"I think it's a miracle that you managed to have Lucifer here since he thinks he's above everyone else," Satan said mockingly, which earned a scoff from Lucifer.

"Ehhh, are we not going to talk about how Mammon is actually here with us?" Levi pointed out, which earned Mammon the spotlight.

"Ay! What's that supposed to mean?" barked Mammon.

"What he's trying to say is that you're always off gambling and getting into trouble with the witches that you always miss meetings like these. You're so clueless," Belphie yawned out.

"He probably doesn't have any money, probably spent it all on gambling. Talk about skill issues!" Levi snickered.

"Alright, break it up," you sighed before this therapy session turned into a 'bully Mammon' session.

"I gathered you all today for one specific reason," you paused for a dramatic effect, it earned you unimpressed looks, "for family therapy!"

As soon as those words left your mouth, everyone's face turned bewildered.

"Family therapy..?" Beel mumbled out.

"Yup! You may already know that I asked you some rather personal questions," you said, which made some of the demons groan from the memories, "and with what you guys told me out of free will, I compiled a list of problems that you guys have!"

"So instead of doing your work and studying, you decided to make a list about our flaws?" Lucifer said, unamused.

"Precisely!" You beamed, earning a sigh from Lucifer.

"From what I could collect, I figured out you guys have communication problems, father issues, unresolved trauma, problems with emotional vulnerability, self-esteem issues, depression, repressed anger, you're touch-starved, some of you have some type of neurodevelopmental disorders--" Before you could continue, you were cut off by somebody. You looked up to see most of them wide-eyed.

"Woah, woah! When you said list, I thought it was going to be about 5 things. I wasn't expecting this much!" Asmo fretted.

"If Asmo didn't cut them off, how much longer would they have gone..?" Satan mumbled.

"At least you get the point!" You smiled before having a blank face, "I would very much appreciate your cooperation."

They looked at each other before nodding.

"Great! Let's start off with Mammon!" You beamed, turning the spotlight onto Mammon.

"...HUH?!" Mammon yelled out after taking a moment to process everything.

"Sorry to put you on the spot, but I can't help but be concerned about you," you sighed, "In the human world, we have this mental disorder called ADHD. It affects people's behaviors, and in a short summary, it makes them inattentive and impulsive. From what I observed, I'd say you fit the criteria."

"What does this have to do with anything?" Mammon questioned.

"Oh, this brings me to my next point. ADHD isn't something that you can control, yet the environment you're in is quite toxic that it worries me," you stated.

"Toxic, you say? It is fully expected from us. We are demons after all," Lucifer refuted.

"Yes, you're demons, yet I unwillingly got assigned as your family therapist..." you huffed out.

You sighed for the nth time, "as I was saying, you keep getting picked on and getting severe punishments for your actions that you can't quite control. It doesn't help that your sin is Greed. You say everything's fine and it doesn't bother you. Yet I can't help but think otherwise. You refuse to show or tell us what you're actually feeling."

After you finished your deduction, nobody uttered a word and looked at Mammon. Mammon opened and closed his mouth like a fish gasping for air, yet no words would come out.

"I did put you in the spotlight. How about this, each and every one of you say something you like about Mammon. I'm positive that you guys have something nice to say about him," you decided to give poor Mammon some mercy.

An awkward silence filled the room. Belphie would open his mouth to speak, but closed it and hugged his pillow closer. It wasn't that they didn't have anything to say, it's just they aren't used to this type of stuff. It's really sad to see, to be honest. Looking back at Mammon, you could see that he was a bit hurt by the silence.

Beel was the first so speak up after a minute or so, "I appreciate it when you give your food to me even when you're hungry." Although it wasn't a huge compliment, it had a meaning behind it. With Mammon's sin, it's a surprise to everybody with how easily he'll sacrifice anything for his brothers. It was evident that Beel knew this by the way he smiled towards Mammon, who was across from him, a smile that really showed his appreciation.

Mammon just froze up, not knowing how to react or respond. Belphie decided to follow his twin's footsteps, a little shy given by the way he's hiding most of his face with his pillow, "Mhm... I like it when you adjust my sleeping position to be more comfortable so I don't feel sore when I wake up..."

Asmo took notice of how embarrassed Mammon was and how he's trying to make himself look smaller. Asmo proceeded to hug him, which caused Mammon to yelp. "I still remember how you sold one of my precious necklaces. When I woke up the next day, it magically appeared on my vanity desk! You tried to play it off, but I know it was you who got it back!" Asmo giggled. Mammon tried to get away from Asmo's grasp, but he wouldn't budge.

Satan chuckled at Asmo's antics, but sighed shortly after. "...I appreciate how you don't snitch on me when I sneak cats in. You went out of your way buying some cat food in order to help me, so thank you," Satan mumbled, but it was audible enough for everybody to hear.

At this point, Mammon didn't know what to do, so he opted to look at the last two brothers who needed to speak. Levi mumbled something incoherent, probably about how embarrassing this was, before speaking up while avoiding eye contact, "Even though you never pay me back, you still manage to make me feel better when I am down... Somehow..."

"It's Lucifer's turn! Come on! We've all said something, now it's your turn," Asmo proclaimed, still not letting go of Mammon.

"I'm curious on what he's going to say," Satan said with a smug smile, thinking that Lucifer would be too prideful to say anything in front of everyone.

Mammon hesitantly looked at Lucifer, scared of what the eldest would say. Lucifer chuckled, "This has been going quite well, I'm surprised."

"How do you think I feel? I was ready to face a bunch of wild animals..." You mumbled out.

Lucifer thought on what he's going to say, "Although you cause us a lot of trouble, you're still very dear to us. Back in the Celestial Realm, you would always help me out, which I'll always be grateful for. Even now you still help me, though you'll always deny it. ...I'll cut back on the punishments for your well being."

Everyone looked at Lucifer, shocked that the demon of Pride was able to muster out those words. Their shock was short- lived as hiccups filled the room. "Ah! Mammon, you're crying!" Asmo panicked, finally letting go of his older brother.

"I-I ain't crying!" Mammon denied. Even as he wiped his tears with his sleeve, they kept on coming. Lucifer stood up and brought out a handkerchief, he kneeled beside Mammon and tried to wipe his face to the best of his ability. Soon, the rest of the brothers came to comfort Mammon. Asmo wrapped an arm around Mammon's shoulder; Asmo no longer cared about his clothes as it got stained with tears. Levi didn't know what to do so he just softly patted Mammon's head.

You stayed on your chair, not wanting to ruin this precious moment. Although there are many things to talk about, you decided to leave it for the next session.

"Man, I don't get paid enough for this... Oh wait, I don't get paid at all."

[noodyl-blasstal]

Look into my Eyes

Day 29 of @taznovembercelebration, one more day to go! Today's prompt was "ignore" and you can read it below or on Ao3. Missed yesterday's? Catch up here!

-

“You’re gonna have to kill me, Lup. I’ve had a good run, I’ll miss you most of all, but we all knew this is how it would end. It’s what I would have wanted.” Taako opens his arms wide and waits for Lup to stab him through the heart with her handy dandy kitchen sword or whatever weapon she has on hand. Tenderising mace?

“Hello Taako, lovely to see you too, why yes, I did have a great day, thank you for caring, brother mine. It’s so touching that you’re so interested in my life.” Lup grins infuriatingly instead of murdering him where he stands. Rude.

“C’mon!” Taako keeps waiting.

“You’re sure this is what you want?”

“Positive.”

Lup strides towards him, kitchen scissors in hand.

“Wait no! Taako wants to live, nevermind.” He tucks his arms around his chest and makes himself as small as possible. It turns out his survival instinct is strong. Who knew?

Lup wraps her arms around his ball of self-preservation, scissors discarded on the counter. “That’s what I thought. Wanna tell cha’girl what’s going on?”

“Taako’s fine, great even!” He doesn’t know why he’s even bothering to lie, but it drips out easily.

“Uh huh.”

Not necessarily believably.

“Yuh huh.”

“Is it Kravitz?”

“He only cares about dead people.”

“And you’ve decided this because?”

“He’s always hanging out with them.”

“It’s his job, KoKo, and he’s not so much ‘hanging out’ as ‘preparing them for their funeral’. Slight difference.”

“Not when it involves not going out with Taako.”

“Did you actually ask him this time?”

Taako hesitates. “I see how it is, you ask ‘did you ask him Taako?’ and not ‘shall we go and tell that bastard off, Taako’?” This isn’t the support Taako deserves.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“I did ask him!” Taako’s indignant now, how dare she not believe him?

“How?” Lup says and raises an eyebrow in the way that means she’s full not going to pander to any of Taako’s bullshit.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes.” Lup stares into his soul.

Taako gives up. “With my eyes.”

“You fucking what now?” Lup’s mouth is a firm line and she’s breathing deeply through her nose.

“I did the thing. You know.” He flaps his hand dismissively.

“Show me the thing?”

“You know the one, the thing.”

“I don’t, remind me.” Lup’s tone leaves no room to argue.

“You might fall in love with me and that’s illegal pretty much everywhere.” Maybe the cold hard truth will shock her out of unreasonable demands.

“Taako!”

“Fine.” Taako gives Lup his most soulful eyes.

“Fuck, I’m in love with you.”

“I warned you! Shit! You have to leave the house, not me, it’s not cha’boy’s fault.” He’ll miss her, but it’ll wear off within the year probably.

“Oh wait, no, hang on, that’s not love, that’s a deep confusion about what the fuck you were just doing with your face.” Lup’s mouth is twitching and Taako knows she’s trying to hold a laugh in. How dare she? This is serious!

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s a bit funny, Ko.”

Taako scowls. He scowls hard. Double hard in fact!

“Let's go over the facts. Here…” Lup points to the sofa. “... you go sit down, I’ll get us a drink, and we can talk it through.”

Taako flops obediently on the sofa, but ragdolls as much as possible. If he lists sadly enough to the side Lup might not decide to use facts against him.

“Move.” She says, nudging him with her toe.

Taako flops the other way, then straightens up again when he realises she’s sacrificed some of her fancy bitch presse stash for him.

Lup rolls her eyes, hands him the cup, then sits down onto the other side of the sofa and draws her legs up under her.

“So you want to ask Kravitz out.” It’s a statement, not a question.

Taako takes a long sip of his drink, decides he may as well just go with it. “Yes.” He answers anyway.

“And you’ve been seeing him three times a week for the last two months?”

“When he’s not hanging out with the dearly departed instead.”

“Yes, we’ve covered that.” Lup unfurls a leg to nudge him with her foot. “Stay on topic. So you’ve been hanging out?”

“Yes.” Taako could say more, he could say a lot more, but he’ll try and stick to the questions so she doesn’t bully him further.

“Going to dinner together?”

Taako nods.

“Sleeping over at his house sometimes.”

“Once or twice.”

“How many rooms does he have?”

This is a trap. “One.”

“Huh.” Says Lup, but doesn’t press any further.

“And on these ‘friend hang outs.’” Lup does quote marks with her fingers. “...would you say you’ve been asking him out with your eyes?”

“Yes!” Taako’s glad she gets it.

“And he hasn’t reciprocated?”

“No.” There’s no need for her to rub it in.

“Not even with his eyes?”

Taako pauses. Fuck. This was a trap in a trap. The ol’ double trap fake trap trap. If he doesn’t answer she can’t get him.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought… Taako, I have a novel idea.”

Taako keeps his mouth shut. Inclines his head. He can’t be arrested for that.

“Why don’t you try asking him with words?”

“Gross.” Taako wrinkles his nose.

He could swear Lup growls slightly under her breath.

“Why?”

“Because then he could say no!”

“So your plan is to be a corpse?”

“He likes spending time with them.”

“Uh huh. And how are you going to enjoy that time together if you’re dead?”

Taako thinks for a long moment. “Fuck.”

[heavenzscent]

Working Title : OUT OF OUR HANDS

WIP Rated: M

867 

The Mountains of Hizuru were as beautiful as they had looked in the history books. He rolled down the automobiles windows to allow the crisp coastal breeze to keep him up. The trip from Odiha to Hizuru had been a last minute one without much comfort. 

13 years had passed since Eren had trampled upon the world upon the citizens of the proud nation of the North Eastern sea. Luckily most of it was located upon mountainous islands full of caves which had served as natural bunkers. What had done many of the citizens and survivors had been lack of food. But still they stood. Not as old, grand and mysterious but still just as proud. 

He pulled over into a rest stop. In the walls they would bury or burn the dead. Burials where costly because their was little room for cemeteries it needed to be made useful. Here the cemeteries where different they where streaming with life, trees, ponds and hillsides. They doubled as parks. This one was dedicated to the victims of the rumbling. 

Their where statues made of marble and bronze of angels. Shoguns, emperors and heroes of the past. Alongside statues of those who had fallen from familymen who always helped the community and grandma’s. Their stories written on plaques in both Hizuruan and Eldian. Every tree and statue had a story written upon it. Some where beginning to grow out of eyelevel becoming last to future eyes. 

In the center was a large marble structure that contained all the names of those lost in Hizuru in their complicated writing. 

“Ambassador!” 

He turned around and nodded his head at the frantic scout who he had left asleep in his backseat. 

“Please -uh– refrain from leaving sir.” 

“Sorry Yua. Just needed to stretch.” 

“Don’t do it again. It’s my job to protect you.” The young scout insisted. 

He sighed. Even during a time of relative peace in an empty park a soldiers duty never seased he supposed. 

“I used to be a soldier too yuh know?” 

“This is my first mission out the castle and My Empress trusted me with you.” 

Jean cocked his brow and huffed from his nose. Mikasa had

“Do you happen to know the reason for this visit.” 

The Yua simply shrugged in reply suddenly unable to look him in the eye. 

“How old are you, Miss Tanaka?” He asked taking one last look at the memorial. 

“18 years.” 

He hummed. She had been 5 at the time. He turned around and followed her back to the automobile. 

859

The palace was lovely and fresh but it lacked the grandeur of the original which he had only seen in paintings and photographs but one day it would be. Kiyomi boasted about how the building of the palace was part of the economic plan. It was a joint project between Paradise and Hizuru, the first of many she hoped. The lumber had been issued from the island and some of the stone as well. 

It had been a tactic to show peace and to share access to Hizurus knowledge and  industry. 

The workers who built it were in contract to work on all co-country projects and many of those in the village were on the state's payroll. 

Unlike Eldian palaces that were closed off and tall like fortresses the structure was wider, only going as high as three stories but usually just two . 

“How was it?” He asked Mikasa once they were left to themselves. She had been so quiet but her eyes looked so inquisitive the whole tour. 

“I wish we had more time to see it …before.” Jean nodded in agreement. “But I try not to dwell, I don’t like getting angry at him.” Jean nodded again. He understood it was a useless sort of anger. 

“Hey.” Jean whispered. Mikasa leaned in her face perplexed over the sudden shift in his demeanor. “Ring the bell.” He smirked, pointing at the button. 

“It’s my first night here.” Mikasa rolled her eyes. 

“Come on.” Jean pleaded. 

It didn’t take much convincing.Mikasa never needed much convincing when it came to Jean. 

Within the hour they had a cart full of food and drinks wheeled into their room by an awestruck servant girl who spoke slightly broken but good Eldian. They asked her to join them as they ate dessert and asked her about life in Hizuru, working at the palace and her life. 

To both Jean and Mikasa’s surprise what she said aligned closely with Kiyomis version of the truth. 

867

Once entering the grounds he saw her sons first. The twins, So and Kaito, were hitting a topiary with wood swords as their older brother, Wren, was supervising, pointing every which way yelling unintelligible commands. 

He had thought that he would resent maybe even hate the boys but he quickly found that he could never hate anything that came from Mikasa.

Yua yelled in Hizuran once the twins began climbing the decorative tree and bending it into odd shapes , causing Wren to begin crying and hollering to try to gain his authority back over the younger boys. 

The twins screamed and laughed until they recognized Yua stomping towards them. 

“See this is why I need a promotion.” She said in annoyance although her lips were tugged slightly upwards. 

Jean stopped to wait for Yua to fish the boys out of the bushes. 

He looked down, swearing he heard a small thump. 

Wren was standing in front of him as stiff and straight as he could muster and was giving him the old military salute of the walls. 

Jean mimicked the gesture and bowed. “Crowned Prince Wren.” He addressed the boy as though he were a commander, one day he would be after all. 

“Mr.Ambassador Jean.” The boy mimicked a soldier's tone. Jean tried his best not to laugh at the stern little boy. 

“How have you been? It's been five months.”  

“Yes, since the winter.” Wren was smart. Some six year olds barely knew the months or their birthdays. But the prince was smart like both his mother and father. 

“How has everything been since winter?” 

“I started mine schooling with the other children. Kaito and So still learn with the ummm babies.” Wren seemed quite smug. “My Hizuran and Eldian are very good my mommy and father say so. Oh! A-and uhhh Miss Ao is upset at father right now!”  

“Huh, why?”Jean asked, trying not to seem too interested.

Ao Tanaka was the emperor's mistress and very much the love of his life. At first Jean had hated the man for not loving Mikasa. The emperor had the person in which Jean coveted and was practically spitting upon the blessing. But with time he saw that the arrangement seemed to work for everyone and that the world was larger than what he had been raised to know after all. 

Ao was a kind woman and had been from the emperors home village in the countryside. They had grown up together and at one point thought they would make a life together.That was until the rumbling happened and he became the best and most supported candidate to lead the nation.

He was a kind man as well; Jean supposed. 

He wondered what that bastard had done. Ao can barely swat a fly without looking guilty; he couldn't imagine her being angry.Espcially not enough for even the kids to take notice.  

“I’m not sure… maybe you can cheer her up. Your very funny uncle!” 

“What happened to Ambassador.” Jean faked indignation. Wren simply laughed. He was a confident little boy. Most kids needed an adult on their knees to feel comfortable speaking but Wren could hold a conversation looking up with complete ease and cheerfulness. 

“I’ll try my best.” Jean bowed deeply which made the boy giggle with delight. No one really bowed to him unless the event was formal. Both Mikasa and her husband agreed that it would spoil the boys. 

So ran up to his brother muttering some unintelligible Hizuran/Eldian mishmash of a sentence (Wren seemed to understand the bilingual squishing of words perfectly.);Jean could swear he heard the word child. 

This was followed by another scolding from Yua trying to get the twins to sit on their hands for a few minutes until they calmed down. She quickly gave Jean a glance that left him uneasy. 

“I give up! Do as you will. I need to take the ambassador to your parents. I’m going to give Chiyo a whipping later.” She announced.He supposed that had been her replacement while she undertook her first mission. 

Wren gave him and Yua a final salute before they disappeared through the heavy palace doors. 

INFO SHEET

The Imperial family of Hizuru

Her majesty the Empress  Mikasa Ackerman

His majesty the Emperor Arata Azumabito-Ito 

Crowned Prince Wren Ackerman-Ito  (both sounds Eldian for the bird and sounds Hizuran) 

Prince So Ackerman-Ito

Prince Kaito Ackerman-Ito

Courtesan to the Emperor Ao Tanaka

Yua Tanaka, Scout and serves the Imperial family. 18 years old 5 at the time of the rumbling.

Kiyomi Azumabito - states woman and ambassador   

Unified Nations Federation

Jean Kirstein, Lead Ambassador of Eldia and The Unified Nations Federation. 

Reiner Braun, Ambassador of Eldia and The Unified Nations Federation. 

Connie Springer, Ambassador of Eldia and The United Nations Federation. 

Pieck Finger, Ambassador of Eldia and The United Nations Federation

The Government of Eldia 

Queen Historia Reiss of Eldia 

Armin Arlert, Minister of the Eldian Empire.

Annie Leonhart, Retired Ambassador, Assistant and body guard to the Minister

[toxic-ship-tournament]

ROUND 1 / SIDE A / POLL 1

Artekai x Fross ( @artekai ) vs Elliot Kane x Yuri Gallagher (@cocainecowgrrl )

who makes up your ship?:

Artekai (he/him) and Fross (he/him)

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

What's NOT toxic about them? Fross is an immortal space billionaire, while Artekai (also Kai) is a mortal on Earth in the middle of a corruption arc. Fross has a victim complex, Kai has a hero complex. They enable the worst in each other, but they would hate each other if they actually took the time to get to know one another. They are in love because they are both somehow equally pretentious somehow, they are in love with the idea of being in love, they are just each other’s escapism. They met because Kai fatally stabbed Fross while he was trying to steal Earth's terraforming system (long story, they are Horizon OCs). But Kai quickly regretted it, because he realized that Fross was unarmed, and it was against his moral code to attack someone who was unarmed. And so, to avoid having that weighing on his conscience, he decided to take Fross and nurse him back to health. Yes, they both thought this was the most romantic thing ever. Kai considers this a casual fling like most of his romantic relationships, but Fross would do anything to make Kai his and only his forever. From lies, manipulation, and guilt tripping, to gaslighting, kidnapping, and isolating Kai from his loved ones, it's all on the table. He’s certainly not afraid to take advantage of the vulnerable state that Kai was in when he got into his relationship (he had just had a really bad friendship breakup, so he was horribly lonely and his ego had been shattered). When the truths that Fross had been hiding from Kai finally came out, Fross snapped and tried to kidnap him, planning to drag him to space with him and make him immortal as well so they could be together forever. It was then that Kai finally decided that he was done, and so he fatally stabbed Fross again in a fit of rage, coming full circle.

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

Ship tag: Frosskai Artekai playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7vmQQ3oJOqItfMCpMg2Ab1?si=e61bc643276d466b Fross playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/13dyyNtUismAc2LzjJdxSX?si=3b97080df1214b02 Frosskai playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5o5uIiOE2HEwhwT3US2KET?si=8cf3cdcd3ae74c1c

*****

who makes up your ship?:

Elliott Kane & Yuri Gallagher

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

First off, the cringe: Yuri is a SoundCloud rapper. He buys and sells crypto, and also spent what was supposed to be rent money for his starving and impoverished family on a crypto mining rig. He has genuine skills in hacking and IT but refuses to get a real job and instead works for a manipulative drug dealer because he gets free drugs and is convinced that one day he'll make more money mooching off this millionaire and his drug cartel and posting on r/antiwork about it. Going back to the SoundCloud rap, Yuri has no followers, not even his boyfriend Elliott, and has instead dedicated his time to running a network of botted sockpuppet accounts claiming to be his own diehard fans and blowing up the comment section of anyone who disagrees that his objectively shit mumble rap is not straight fire. He definitely has a video made about him by at least a commentary YouTuber he's pissed off in a fit of Percocet-fueled rage. His number one idol in life is Lil Xan. He uses the word "yuh" to a questionable degree. Now, the toxic: Elliott throws his laptop out the window instead of telling Yuri he sucks at rap and doesn't want to hear it. Elliott also only fell in love with him because he looks similar to the object of his childhood affection, his only childhood friend named Mattie. Mattie sees Elliott as a little brother figure, Elliott is obsessed with him and cannot draw a line between platonic love and refusing to let go. He also has major abandonment issues that have been triggered by said childhood friend leaving him behind, and continues to be obsessed with bringing him back while being in a relationship with Yuri. Has definitely called Yuri Mattie's name before and Yuri laughs it off because he also got toxically attached to the first person he felt actually wanted to be around him and loved him. Yuri is willing to overlook Elliott's sadistic tendencies and willingness to hurt people who he claims to care a lot about so he can get attention. He fantasizes about torturing the people that wronged him because he thinks it will make them crack and apologize for everything wrong they have done to him. They do not. <3 Elliott has never been to school a day in his life, sure, but he is absolutely a theater kid. The way he behaves is so theatrical and over the top there's no way he was not a Broadway Twink in a past life. Would listen to Lemon Demon if he knew how to use Spotify, make of that what you will. Elliott may not know how to use an ipad but he is an ipad kid at heart. Important character fact about this pairing, neither of these characters are above 5'5", they're toxic manlets but they're in love and can see each other eye to eye on toxicity and neither of them will ever get better or be good for each other until they understand who they are as people and learn to stand on their own before getting back together <3.

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

[queenofnohr]

i think i was gonna talk about arvelle next bc mwah mwah mwah i love my toxic evil beauty little meow meow but i stared at those pics of p’riah too long and now i uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu my lesbiansssssssssss

so I’m gonna be talking about p’riah (the catgirl you have seen recently) and hyacinthe (pronounced the french way; seen here)

the areeeeeeee me and asha’s player’s wild west shards LOL

Hyacinthe is a woman whose family and small village was slaughtered and so she swore revenge. She goes full-on kayser soze in her revenge, learning everything about her targets before killing everyone related to them - immediate family, distant family, friends, family of friends. She herself has massacred small villages this way. As a side note - the red marks on her face in her screenshots arent supposed to be so neat; she paints bloodsplatters across her face as her routine every morning in the same patterns she remembers from the massacres, either remembering her own family’s blood running down her face, or remembering the blood of her enemies splattered across her face

When she isn’t getting her revenge, she poses as a man (which is where the name hyacinthe comes in (her real name is not that)) and does takes odd jobs around, doling out vigilante justice, and is seen as somewhat of a hero of the common people to those that are acquainted with her, though for those that are not (or law enforcers) she seems more an ominous presence skulking silently into towns.

Enter P’riah (pronounced like pariah, though Hyacinthe calls her pree-yah; in turn P’riah calls her hyacinth like the flower and not the french pronunciation which is closer to yuh-san(t)). P’riah is a deputy bringing law to a lawless frontier. Married to her job, she is immediately envious of Hyancinthe’s supposed freedom in bringing justice. Like most Moros shards she’s uptight, and not honest with her feelings. One thing she’s very passionate about are the sporadic killings that take place wherein there are no survivors or witnesses to give clue to a perpetrator. With nothing else seemingly to really look forward to in life, she makes this case her everything, even while others call it futile or when she’s assigned to other matters.

The two, of course, end up working together for a time, P’riah not knowing that her elusive culprit is right under her nose and Hyacinthe unaware that she’s sharing the same tent with one who’s trying to put her behind bars. 

[munchkinfox-the-deviant-fox]

Anhedonia

SO, uhhh, decided to start intentionally writing my shit down! Woo! We gonna go slow burn on this shiz! Eventually poly... I honestly have so many ideas that, as soon as I know concrete details about this story, I’ll put a label on it >xD As for a summary:

Rhene has long since accepted the fact that her life is boring. She works a job, she goes home to her cat, she has friends she can spend time with. Life is perfectly full of things that make most people perfectly content. But she's not. So maybe going back to school will give her the chance to improve things, change things, find a better a job. There's always a salary increase if you've got a Masters degree and what's a few loans compared to improving ones life? Oh! Ya know, she never got to study abroad as an undergrad! She could totally start off abroad! That's totally exciting, right? At least maybe she'll find something new to hyper-fixate on so she can pretend like her life isn't completely unfulfilling. Yeah, this is totally a great idea. What could possibly go wrong?

Tags: Long fic, slow burn, eventual poly MC, named MC

CW: None yet

Master List -> Chapter 1 Part 1

Prologue

Cheers and laughter amongst rumbling raucous voices were just background noise, the soundtrack of her life that continued on. Endlessly. A repeating tune that could never break away from its circling fate.

Like turkeys. Dumb fuckin’ turkeys walking in a circle around road kill in an attempt to intimidate the scary dangerous thing. Continuing to go round and round because they’re just following the turkey in front of them.

Why had she agreed to come out? At least at home she could have been sleeping, or mindlessly binging a show she wasn’t particularly interested in. That would’ve been more entertaining than this.

The air shifted, the weight of Tyler’s attention laying itself against her shoulders, and she released the sigh that had been building up, the minimal, physical embodiment of her irritation. She set her drink down firmly against the table and pushed it a safe distance away.

“Rhen!” The top half of her body lurched forward with Tyler’s bearing weight, his arms two obnoxious noodles folding around her, “Reeehnn~ You’ve been spacing out allll night longggggggg. Yuh’ve bareLY had a single- single drink!” The butt of his chin dug into the top of her head, “Come ooonnnnn! It’s been, like… like… like… FOREVER since we’ve hanged out… chilled...hung out!”

Damn, she hated whiskey. And having to inhale it from Tyler did not make it any more appealing. “Yeah, Tyler, I know.”

“You’re leaving tmrrrow- tamorrorr- Ta-Mah-Ro! Yuh should be havin fun! Be happy! Be merry! Be fun-ny!” His giggling made the obnoxious shit she’d known since high school lose his grip, the messy haired swim-varsity-captain-aged-ten-years stumbling into the seat next to her.

She pat his head, his hair still unerringly soft, even after all these years—something about hair-care regimen being important for swimmers if they didn’t want to lose their hair— “I know, buddy, I’m having fun; I promise,” She smiled and took a drink, the coke ‘n rum sliding down as easily as the lie.

Tyler, oh-so drunk and uncoordinated, shuffled and slid his chair closer, bringing his forehead down to rest on her arm. Rhen kept the appendage still, reaching across and picking up her drink with her other hand.

It was almost a whisper, and for a moment she thought he was drunk-mumbling and falling asleep on her, “I hope you have fun. Maybe- maybe you’ll have so much funn, you might be happy and decide to stay. That would be good… Though I’d be sad.... I’ll just come visit you then!”

Well, that was rather optimistic.

Rhen took a moment, sipping her drink and petting Tyler’s head because he enjoyed people playing with his hair and his girlfriend currently wasn’t here, leaving her to take care of the drunk idiot.

“I’ll miss you too, buddy. I doubt I’ll have more fun there. I’ll be coming back, no doubt.” It’s not like being here or being there really made any amount of difference. She’d still be living the same damn life. “Besides, did you forget? I’m studying abroad. It’s not like a vacation.”

Tyler lifted his head, a shit-eating grin sloppily pasted on his face, “That’s true… But yu’re a loser who likes studying, so-”

“Alright, you piece of shit!”

Tyler laughed as she half-heartedly beat him off of her.

“Come on,” he said, his fingers struggling to grab her arm and pull her to her feet—how many doubles was he even seeing?—“Let’s go get some more drinks. DRINKS!”

She sighed again, debating on whether to fight him on getting up or not, but, well, when he got drunk, he was more stubborn than when he was sober.

“Fine,” She huffed, “But you’re buying.”

Well then.

Rhen sighed, staring at the room—the large room—, so nicely furnished with a bed, table to study with, even a TV mounted to the wall! Fairy lights and lanterns illuminated the room with a warm glow and–

Holy shit, was that a tree in the middle of her room?!

So this was to be her new abode for the next approximate year. Damn this was probably the nicest university accommodations she’d ever seen. What was even the tuition rate for this place?

Wait.

Holy shit! Was she even getting credit for this?!

Was this even an accredited college?!

Did any of that even actually matter?

She slumped to the floor, pulling her knees up to give her chin something to rest on and closed her eyes to the unfamiliar world around her.

Devils and Angels, huh? Ya know, the idea was entertaining—supernatural creatures ‘n such—and who didn’t have a sneak-into-the-local-haunt-and-fuck-with-a-ghost adventure at least once in their childhood, but being the skeptic she was, she hadn’t ever really fully believed in monsters. Humans were monstrous enough.

It had already been five years since the existence of witches became public knowledge, but it wasn’t like they came out sharing every single detail about themselves and their world. Droves upon droves of people had flocked to The Community, all desperate to learn magic and be a part of their secret little world. Some were accepted. Most were turned away. Why they picked the people they did, they never gave an explanation. She had wanted to try—it’s magic! Of course she wanted to learn!—but before she could, her best friend, her sister-from-another-mister, her platonic soulmate, the one person she loved above all else and would do anything for, went for it, gushing about how she knew she’d be allowed to join them. Even before witches were revealed, Amelia had always known magic existed in her lineage; from her grandmother, to her mother, then to her, so of course she would be welcomed into The Community.

So, Rhen had to wait. Because if she ended up getting accepted—she hoped, but held no expectations—and Amelia wasn’t? Rhen wouldn’t even contemplate how much of a betrayal that would be. Sure, Amelia would pretend to be happy for her, but Rhen would always feel guilty for “receiving the honor”. If Amelia didn’t become a witch, it would be better if Rhen didn’t know anything at all. No matter how desperately she wished otherwise.

Though, the last time Rhen had heard from Amelia, she was still on the waiting list…

But here she was, at demon university, by no intention of her own. If she let this chance pass her, she knew she’d resent Amelia for the rest of her life, by no fault of Amelia’s. What was she supposed to do?

She let the tight and encompassing self-embrace fall loose, her legs folding below her, her palm coming to rest at the center of her midsection. She inhaled, her lungs expanded, filling and filling until they couldn’t any more, forcing out and giving no room for the uncertainty—and fear—that had been trying to take root in her chest to linger.

The flutter settled—not gone, but quiet—a soft whisper that brushed against her like an invisible hair.

It was disconcerting, though. How was it that she, a mundane human with no prior knowledge or apparent magical ability, was selected for this program? It was odd, but fuck, she wasn’t going to complain and she was grateful that Lord Diavolo was just going to roll with it as well. If she had been brought here, given the chance to learn magic and was told about monsters and all things supernatural-fantasy and how they are actually a part of our world, then kicked back to the human world, she would have been pissed. Like dangling a piece of meat in front of a starving dog. Even if she had to write a fuckin’ thesis by the end of her time here, this was too awesome of an experience to miss out on.

When was the last time she felt this excited?

It was a bonus that they were allowing her exceptions: until she gained some measurable ability using magic, any grades reflecting her magical use would not count against her. Awesome. But because she couldn’t use magic—thus considered unable to protect herself against any threat that might present itself—it was Lord Diavolo’s responsibility to ensure her safety. Therefore, Rhen was not, in fact, staying in the dorm allocated for the exchange students, but instead she was to stay in the dorm of the student council, one of who was to be her designated body guard and Devildom guide.

She honestly would have found that rather funny: a student council? Really? What does a demon university student council even do? Was there going to be a whole-ass homecoming event week for the beginning week of classes? Apparently, though, only they could be absolutely trusted with her safety, considering they were demon lords themselves, some of the highest ranking of Lord Diavolo’s nobility. No matter how enticing her shiny human soul was, apparently she would be safe with them.

Six lords, six brothers, six demons to try and keep out of the way of.

Yup. Totally manageable.

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way: Chapter 8

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)

Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, and both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

I wanna add we're really heavy on the birth/pregnancy, forced birth, choking, domestic violence, threats of hanging and murder. Can't say I didn't warning yuh (unless i missed a warning of course. then please let me know so i cant edit ASAP) Like this is a rough chapter, a lot of violence to a pregnant woman. but I wanna say right now...

The baby will not be harmed in anyway. Baby will be born healthy, and live and have a good life in both the main ending and alt ending.

5k words (sorry not sorry lol)

Also to clarify a few things I guess i didn't make clear enough in previous chapters!

Joel only 'guessed' that Tommy and LO slept together. He had suspicions but thought he could trust Tommy and his 'girlfriend'. When LO rushed to stop Joel from hurting Tommy, that was his 'evidence'. Joel was beating Tommy because he found out about Maria.

Joel only heard part of the conversation between Zach and Little One. Nick said way back in chapter 3 the wall are thinner than she thinks. He didn't know Lorenzo had any part of it, and because LO didn't rat him out, he never will.

Thats my bad for not being clear!

Can you catch the Superstore homage? (aka i rewatched two episodes just to take it line for line lol)

***************

Month 3

No one warned you about morning sickness. 

You knew fuck all about sex before you came to Joel’s, just a thing or two from your friend back at the ranch and how to get a man off with your mouth or hands, but pregnancy and birth was next to nothing. You didn’t even know how pregnancy happened really, other than a penis in a vagina until you asked Tommy early on if you were going to get pregnant. After a very uncomfortable talk for both of you, Tommy explained that Joel told him he pulls out, so you should be good… Lorenzo said you can still get pregnant that way, but thinking back to the night Joel almost killed Tommy and you… Joel finished inside… the timing added up. 

Pregnancy and birth were entirely unknown to you, and you wished someone would just give you a heads up. Joel had a daughter and no doubt had been through at least once pregnancy, and Lorenzo had mentioned 4 of his 6 older sisters got pregnant before leaving the house… something about no sex education, men too old for them, and their religion not believing in birth control or abortion… but you didn’t know what half those words meant, and after Lorenzo mercilessly made fun of you for days about not knowing Joel’s song for you was actually a very famous song, you didn’t dare ask him about the words, or anything with pregnancy. You didn’t want to ask Joel either, not wanting to give away how terrified you were, not wanting him to think you didn’t want to… But you did! You did want this baby, you reminded yourself again and again and again, because Joel was good to you, Joel took care of you, Joel would care for this baby too. You’d be bound to him, and he’d never get tired of you this way, and he wouldn’t hurt the mother of his child, right?

The birth was something you tried not to think about.

So here you were, puking your gut out before you even had breakfast and Joel held your hair back.

“Shhh, shhhhhhh” he coo’d and you heaved, yellow bile and acid coming up from inside you since the little food in your stomach from dinner had been thrown up 5 minuets ago.

With a final spit into the toilet, you sink back and Joel wipes your mouth for you. “I think that’s it.” You mutter, and Joel carries you into your shared bedroom, laying you down with the care of an infant before kissing your forehead. 

“Don’t worry about breakfast, little one. I don’t need anything this morning.” He says before kissing your cheek. But you were worrying about breakfast, because you wanted it… but the only way you’d be getting food is if you made it. Tommy wasn’t here to care for you anymore. “I’ll be gone until the evening, what's for dinner?”

The thought of cooking, the thought of raw meats and the strong smells of spices made you want to vomit again. “I dunno…”

“I think a few of them chickens is ready to be butchered, you ever made chicken parmesan? We got that cheese I brought back yesterday, you could make something like that.”

You groan a bit, exhausted and tired despite being only 3 months in. You didn’t sleep at all last night, nightmares of the past and the future plaguing you. He knew that you didn’t sleep, you had told him… “Joel I can’t, the butchering, I feel so-”

“I’ll make Lorenzo do it.” He promises. “Chicken parmesan it is then?” He decided for you. What he didn’t understand is it wasn’t just butchering a few chickens. To make chicken parm you need chicken breasts, not the rest of it. You didn’t waste meat, so Lorenzo kills (you could do it on a normal day, but not with your heightened smell) then you pluck, clean, Lorenzo butchers, then you have to separate the different parts and put them into hygienic storage and take them to the freezer locker, then thoroughly clean yourself, all the tools and surfaces (and Lorenzo) to prevent illness. It would take hours. But Joel didn’t see that, he only ever saw the food at the end of his day.

“Okay” You agree reluctantly, and he begins kissing your neck and groping you, no doubt wanting a quicky before a long day of unspeakable violence. “Joel, please, I don’t feel good.” You beg him not to, but you learned in the past that this never got far.

His morning breath wasn’t helping anything as he tugged down your shorts. “I’ll be quick.”

You knew what that meant. Joel slid into you with no prep, no lubrication, and it burned. The steady rocking was the last thing you needed right now, and with his head buried in your neck, you covered your mouth as the nausea took over. You threw up, but like everything the last several months, you just swallowed it down again to deal with when Joel was gone. When he came inside (wasn’t he worried about you getting pregnant again?) you quickly pull up your pants and run to the bathroom, pushing past Lorenzo no doubt on his way to babysitting duties with you. 

As he watched you run past and heard the sounds of throwing up, Lorenzo caught Joel’s arm as he brushed past. “Peppermint or ginger. Find it, whatever form it's in. Oils, drops, whatever. If you can find the leaves or the root we can make it into a tea. Just find it, it’ll help her nausea.”

Month 4

“Okay Lorenzo, I got a question for you, and you can’t make fun of me.” You say as you cook, the swell of your belly beginning to show now.

“No guarantees.” He says, sitting his drink. How did he find so much alcohol?

“Fine. Okay… when Joel and I have sex-”

He visibly cringed. “Since when do we talk about our sex lives?” 

“Renzo.”

“Fine, go on. But remember I’m not exactly an expert on female anatomy.”

You take a deep breath. “Okay. Well I told you he always pulls out right? Um… ever since I told him im pregnant… he doesn’t.”

Lorenzo waits for you to continue, but you don’t. You think that’s it. “What the problem?”

You continue to avoid looking at him, stirring the soup. “Well.. what if I get pregnant again?”

He stares at you like he’s trying to make sense of your question before the recognition sets in. “OH!” But before he explains what he means… his face shifts… theres something sad in there, a hint of pain in his eyes you only saw once, the face he had as he looked at you in disgust while Joel carried you from the bedroom to the bath while you were covered head to toe in spit and cum and period blood… was it pity? “Jesus kid… No one really taught you anything, did they?”

“C’mon, just tell me.”

Scrubbing his face, he sighed. “No, you can’t get pregnant while your already pregnant.”

Oh. “Wait… really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Ah. Okay then.”

There was a long, long silence before he spoke again. “If you got any other question about, like… pregnancy and birth… I can try and answer.”

Joel had been trying to find a doctor, a midwife, something for you… but it was slim pickings in Wyoming. 

Five minuets later, you were squealing, covering your ears, but laughing. “Ew! What the hell is a mucus plug! You know what, I don’t wanna-”

“IT’S A PLUG FULL OF MUCUS IN YOUR VAGINA WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?!?!” He yells loud enough to get past your attempt at blocking your ears. 

“NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH!!! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” But you still could.

“Honestly in the last month or two all kinds of weird things are gonna come out of you including but not limited to a very slimey and weird looking baby.”

You gasp, feigning indignance. “How dare you insult my unborn child!”

“It ain’t personal, sweetheart. All babies look ugly as fuck as newborns. Now, let’s get back to the gritty details.”

With a squeal, you try to run away. “No! I know enough!” But you’re laughing. It felt like you were messing around with Zach back in your childhood home. 

“My sister Elaina lost like 4 teeth.”

“AAAHHHHH!”

Month 5

Joel had finally found a midwife of sorts. Well, technically, Jack did, as it was his cousin. Maura had been a nurse in the birthing wing a short time before everything went to shit and had been helping women deliver babies ever since. Initially, she told Jack to keep his mouth shut. She hated Joel and didn’t want a thing to do with him, but when no one else showed up and you were in your 5th month, she relented, purely for the sake of the innocent kidnapped girl. 

“Put the fucking gun away, Joel.” She said as she entered your room, grabbing the barrel in Joel’s hands and pointing it to the floor. “Point that shit at me again and I’m not helping your child bride.” She stared him down, head tilted up only slightly to reach his eyes. If she was intimidated by Joel, she wouldn’t

Joel glared at her, but he didn’t have many options. “If you hurt her-”

“From what I hear, you’re doing enough of that yourself. Now, you stand up against the wall and watch if you want to, but don’t interfere, and do not try to intimidate me, understood?”

You watched in awe as she stood her ground… It had been months before you had done anything of the sort against Joel, only standing up to him when Tommy’s life was in danger. Joel gave a curt nod and she turn to approach where you lay, sat up against some pillows.

A gentle smile was on her face, but it was clear she was here for business. Still, her confidence and certainty put you at ease.

“My name’s Maura, I’ll be helping deliver this baby.” She was beautiful, with long black hair and a light smattering of freckles on her face, but got straight to the point. It was clear she knew what she was doing, asking you questions you hadn’t even thought of yet and examining you. When she was done, she stood up, looking at you, not Joel. “It seems despite the circumstances-”

Joel tried to interrupt. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean”

But Maura ignored him, keeping your attention with her bright brown eyes. “Despite the circumstances, everything appears to be progressing naturally, theres no cause for concern as of right now. But you need to keep things low stress.” It was then she turned to glare at Joel, to emphasize her point.

Maura said she’d be staying near-by and Joel was paying her a hefty price for her services. When you’d go into labor, Joel was to send a man on horse to fetch her, preferably Jack, but she warned she would armed, and she’d be there shortly.

That night, Joel held you close as you discussed baby names. 

“How about Loretta? Like that singer you liked?”

Joel hums, none commital. “I always liked Dorothy, we could call her Dolly as a nickname. I know you like Dolly Parton” Joel had been teaching you about old country music, and you certainly had a few favorites. Not knowing many women in general, your pool of girl names was not strong so you drew from singers he’d mentioned. 

You scrunch up your nose a bit at that. “I like Dolly, I don’t like Dorothy.”

“It was my grandmas name, I’d really like to name our daughter after her.” His voice had that tone to it, the one that left little room to argue, but you tried to push past Dorothy.

“Maybe June? Like June Carter?” You knew how particle he was to Johnny Cash, but also... that was the name of the only friend you had before Tommy.

“That’s beautiful, little one, June it is.” He smiles into your skin, and you think you’ve won, when he says. “Dorothy June.” 

He had already decided, and there was no real option to argue or change his mind. You’d just call her Dolly, then.

You had one thing you really, really wanted for boy name, and you desperately hoped you could get it, but you couldn’t tell him why. You didn’t want any more kids so this was your only shot. You hadn’t even wanted this one, but as your stomach swelled with life, motherly love came with it and you decided you’d make the best of the situation. The child inside you was your number one priority. “Okay, boys? I really like Caleab… It’s my favorite boy name…” You didn’t have to tell him that was Zach’s middle name.

“I like it, bebita.” 

You got what you wanted. You knew Joel was hoping for a girl, so you figured he was less particular on the boy name. 

“Got any ideas for the middle name?” You ask him.

“Nothing in mind, really. I’m open…” He kisses your neck.  “Anything you want?”

You keep quiet. The name you wanted… he’d never go for.

Joel pulled you closer, nuzzling his face against you as he whispered. “Ah. I see.” You freeze. Tommy hadn’t been so much as alluded to since he barely made it out alive and you thought for sure Joel would have a fit, and you began to prepare yourself to feel a hand wrapped around your throat… But he tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed into your locks as he settled down for bed. “Caleb Thomas”

Month 6 

Lorenzo was getting on your fucking nerves today, and you were about to fling the frying pan, bubbling grease and all, at his face. 

“Will you shut up?”

“No, I’m not going to shut up because you are being fucking stupid!” Instead of his usual spot sitting at the kitchen table, he’s standing, arms crossed, in the doorway as you tried to get diner done. “I told you the first day, you are a dumb. Bitch.” he was drunk, three sheets to the wind and absolutely no filter.

“You have no fucking idea what I am! I am trying to fucking survive, Lorenzo, I am trying to keep myself and this baby-”

“You are playing housewife to a serial murder and a rapist!” He yells at you, clearly frustrated. “You are rewarding all the bad things he’s ever done you just give positive reinforcement-”

“Don’t fucking blame me! I’m not reinforcing the bad, I’m reinforcing the good!” You storm over to him, glaring Lorenzo down. “You have no fucking idea how bad things were! I used to dream about killing myself, about dying, about Joel finally snapping and doing it! I am doing the best in the conditions I have!”

“You could have left! You could have left with Zach and gone off with him for fucks sake!”

With a burst of anger you didn’t know was even in you anymore, you shove him, hard, causing the drunk to fall over. “You wanna know what he did last time I tried to run? He caught me within 10 minuets, dragged me back and chained me to this table-” You point at the table that you and Joel sit at most evenings now for diner. “And raped me in front of everyone, Lorenzo! Then he branded me and left me to be gang raped by all your little buddies here! And no one could stop him, not even Tommy! All Tommy could do is stand by and watch, and unchain me after Joel left before anyone could do anything more!”

Lorenzo was not deterred. “That’s my fucking point!”

“If I leave and he catches me, I am dead!”

Scoffing, Lorenzo rolls his eyes from where he’s slumped against the floor. “Yeah, that’s why”

Unsure how much more you can take from him, you motion him to continue.

“You just don’t wanna admit you fell in love with your rapist.”

That was enough. You begin to walk away from him, but he follows after you. 

“What about when you give birth, huh? What kind of father is he going to be? Are you going to stand by while he beats your kids?”

“SHUT UP!” You scream, still walking away. 

“And what if you have a daughter? You just gonna let him molest her like your dad-”

You wipe around so fast you don’t even have time to blink. “No, Joel isn’t like that.” 

Lorenzo laughs at you, cruel and loud. “You are 20 years younger than him, he raped you! You really think he’s above-”

“YES! He will not hurt her like that!”

“And if you have a son? Do you really wanna raise a man like Joel? The kind of man who beats and rapes innocent girls?”

Tears prickle at your eyes now, a terrible tightness in your chest bubbling with stomach bile. “N-no, that’s not gonna happen, I won’t let-”

“Oh, because you’ve had so much choice the last year, havn’t you. Sooooo much control.”

“I won’t.” You shake your head vigorously. “I won’t let anything happen to my baby, Joel won’t hurt them.”

“So, say he doesn't. You really gonna raise a kid here? Half the men here would’ve raped you, given the chance! You really think your child is safe here?”

You can’t argue with him when he’s right. But he doesn’t get it. Joel is good now, Joel protects you, Joel will protect the baby… Joel is gentle now… soft, kind… he thinks of you, he sings you songs… he plays music for you, he’ll be a good dad… You’ll be okay…

You shut down, going into autopilot. You don’t look at Lorenzo as you walk back to the kitchen to finish frying the chicken. Joel would be home soon.

Month 7

“JACK! GET MAURA!” Joel shouts as you groan on the bed, the tight contractions hurting.

“Joel, it hurts!” You call for him, and in a flash Joel is at your bedside, letting you squeeze his hand. 

“I know, little one, I know…” He pets your hair, having flashbacks to Sarah’s birth…. He wanted another girl so bad, but god, he just wanted a healthy baby and for his girl to make it out alive. Birth was dangerous in modern medicine, nonetheless a post-apocalyptic shitstorm. 

Lorenzo stood in the doorway, biting his nails. “You’re not due for another 8 weeks!”

Grunting through the pain, you let a rare bout of sarcasm slip. “Oh yeah, that’s right, never mind.”

“Could be false labor, you know? That’s called Braxton-Hicks contractions?” Lorenzo looked more nervous than you.

Joel ignored him. “It’s gonna be okay, Maura’s on her way and I think even out here 32 weeks is gonna be okay.” Joel wasn’t entirely sure about his own words. 32 weeks meant a premature baby, and pre-mature usually meant NICU… but there was no NICU to go to… if the babies lungs were under developed or anything like that, there were no options. 

Lorenzo was chewing through his nails enough to draw blood. “Or maybe it’s Braxton-Hicks”

At that, Joel finally acknowledges Lorenzo. “Okay, we get it, you know the term Braxton-Hicks, we’re all very impressed.”

“AHHHHHHH” You yell, wishing to get there was something for the pain.

Lorenzo wouldn’t shut up. “Okay, contractions are getting longer, that means your in active labor?”

“Her water hasn’t broke yet!” 

“Is she dilated?”

“Does it look like her pants are off to you?”

“Well check!”

“I don’t know how to tell! Weren’t you bragging last month you helped your sister give birth in a Walmart?”

“That doesn’t mean I know how to check if she’s dilated!”

“You know more than me!”

“I’m not sticking my fucking face between legs!”

“Oh, because you’re gay you’re suddenly scared of vagina’s?”

“What are you talking about?”

“So you’d rather let her just die?”

“DIE? Joel she’s not gonna die because I’m not looking at her fucking cu-”

“GUYS” you shout, causing both to turn and look at you. “The contractions stopped.”

There’s a moment of silence before Lorenzo speaks. “Oh. Huh. That’s uhhh… Braxton-Hicks I guess. False labor.”

As Joel kissed you that night, sex was the last thing you wanted, but you knew there was no point in fighting it.

Joel sucked on your throat, already bruised with dark marks from the night before, now sore and aching with new licks and bites, his hands roaming to expanse of skin presented before him. Gripping, feeling, pinching, tugging, some things felt good, some hurt, but that didn’t matter. He’d get you off, he always did, at night anyway, but you knew sometimes he just liked to feel you, feel what he owned.  The pain is mine. Your cries are mine, your cunt is mine. And if you bleed? Your blood is mine.

Your belly round and swollen with child, he could not hardly keep his hand off it, every time his hand traveled to explore, it quickly found itself returning to its home, never wanting to miss a kick. He slithered down, nestling his face between your legs and devouring your pussy the way he did your neck, the way he did every piece of you, body and soul and until there was nothing left but this subservient version of you, weak and obedient to his hands. He lapped you up, skilled tongue exploring through your folds only pausing to nibble at the soft skin of your thighs or kiss the round stomach above him. He felt extra possessive today, a desperate, anxious way about him as he devoured you so hungrily you wondered if he intended to eat you, swallow you whole to keep you with him forever; a communion, and you were the eucharist, a matrimony of cannibalism. 

You wanted to tug at his hair, you wanted to entangle yourself in him but your belly was in the way, so you simply laid back and enjoyed as he tongue fucked you, prodding at your entrance, his hands on the globe where your child waits to be born.

“Fuck, Joel, need you, need to cum, please.”

You beg for him, plead, and he devours. Joel knows you love when his perfect, plus lips such at your mound and your clit with long fingers fingering into you, and you yelp when they curl up and hit that spot inside you. “Keep moaning, little one, let me hear you.”

You obliged. Sometimes you wondered how sick everyone in the house was of hearing you, but they weren’t the ones you needed to please; pleasing Joel kept you alive.

“I need you inside me, please” Nudging him with your leg as you cry for his cock. “Joel, I gotta have you inside me, I need to cum on your cock, please? Please, Joel-”

A wet, sloppy sound as he detached from you, and his eyes looked just as hungry as he acted while he crawled up. “You beg so pretty, little one, such a pretty little cock whore.”

But you didn’t have time for his talking, you needed him inside you, now; the hormones of the pregnancy had a mind of their own. You take a chance and push him down, watching Joel smile as you straddle his waist. “God, I just- just need you.”

“The take me, little one, take me” 

You cry out as you sink down onto him, feeling your cunt split on him. “Fuuuck!” Sobbing, you take him fully and begin to fuck yourself on him.

“Just like that, pretty girl, fuck, taking me so well, gonna have you all stretched out to have this baby, huh? Gonna give me a child, little girl? A baby of our own? Fuck, fuck you look so pretty like this, swollen with my child, stretching your stomach as I stretch your cunt, fucking perfect, my perfect wife.”

Wife.

Wife.

Wife?!

You knew Joel was delusional… but fuck, Lorenzo was right… you were playing house wife. Joel thought of you as his wife… 

“Gonna fuck you full of my cum, again, and again, keep you constantly knocked up, make our happy little family, you and me and a dozen little kids running around, FUCK, our family, our family.”

You continued the pace, you couldn’t falter, you couldn’t slow down, you couldn’t hesitate; you couldn’t give any sort of reason for him to think you didn’t want this…

But it suddenly struck you

You were trapped. Joel trapped you with a baby, knowing you’d need him to protect it, knowing you’d never leave your child… and now he was going to keep you pregnant. You could never leave with 5,6,7 kids, it would be impossible. 

“Yeah, fuck yourself on my cock little one, just little that…” Joel reached out to touch you, roughly manhandling your tits that were swollen and engorged.

You begin to cry, but that wouldn’t give away anything for Joel; he fucking loved that shit.

One hand on your breast, one on your clit. “Cry on my cock, baby girl, cry when you cum.”

You did, you sobbed as you came, your body betraying the horrors you felt at his hands.

Month 8

“Hey Joel? Can I talk to you about something?”

You had to do it. You had to. And it had to be now. You two had fucked less than half an hour ago and he was currently eating your food, humming contently. He was always lovey-dovey after sex, and was always much happier after food… The pair didn’t line up often, so now was your chance. 

“What’s on your mind, little one? Nervous about being a mother? You’ll be a great mom; I just know it.” He smiled at you with puppy dog eyes, looking up from his plate, and you couldn’t help smiling back, not when he showered you with compliments.

“Well… you’ve said before you wanted lots of kids… but we… well this little baby was an accident.”

“A miracle, not an accident.” Joel corrected you. You didn’t see how conceiving a child the night he was threatening to blow your brains onto a wall for sleeping with his brother if you didn’t shoot said-baby’s uncle was a miracle… but you digress

“Right. Well… we never really talked about more kids… and although I’m over the moon about this baby, I did initially not want to have it.” Joel’s face began to darken, but you powered through. “Maybe we could see how we feel about one kid after a few years before thinking about-”

Joel slammed down his silverware. “What are you trying to say.”

But you freeze. This was a bad idea, you needed to placate immediately, you needed to calm him down. “N-nothing, Joel, just thinking out loud.”

He stood up, a deadly, blank stare on his face, so far removed from the adoration as he bestowed kisses on your ever-growing belly. Joel walked around the table, standing behind you and placing firm hands on your shaking shoulders, leaning into your ear. 

“You say’n you don’t want my kids? Don’t wanna be their mama? You don’t wanna be my wife?”

“No, no that’s not-” But you don’t get a chance to finish, his hand is wrapped around your throat and insane strength pulling you up and out of the chair, the wooden furniture toppled to the side in a loud clatter. He slams the back of your head against the drywall, you’re toes barely touch the ground; struggling to breath, you claw at his hand, but he doesn’t even blink.

The panic begins to set it.

“YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE! YOU DO NOT GET TO MAKE CHOICES!” He screams, and out of the corner of your eye you watch as a few men hesitantly gather, like vultures waiting on the next piece of deadmeat. You couldn’t see who, but it didn’t matter. Even the good ones couldn’t intervene.

Joel’s face was suddenly right in front of yours. “Everything you have, any freedom, any luxuries, any power you think you have is because I have given it to you.” Black spots appeared, your vision blurring, sinking into the unknown and god, did it feel sweet. Was it finally over? “I bought you, I own you, you have no rights! You are nothing! You are nothing but a toy for me to play with, a breeding bitch and you should be so lucky to sit at my table!”

He let go, but as you gasped for breath, Joel yanked at your hair and patched you across the room, not letting go of his grasp on you as you flung into the counter. What he didn’t know, what he could never understand was how the handle of the draw rammed into the brand on your side. Suddenly, all sense, all rational went out the window, and you were violently thrust back to last year as he burned his initials into your skin. The flashbacks were triggered, and the result was nothing short of hysteria. You cry out for the only person who would step in.

“TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMYYYY” You scream, the fact Tommy was miles away didn’t matter, nor did the fact this would only anger Joel more. This didn’t matter; you wanted him, no one but him, and all sense was knocked out of you.

Joel pulls you up by your hair and slaps you hard enough that you taste blood and screams at you to not say Tommy’s name, but you can’t stop, you scream and scream and scream for him to come save you and your baby, the precious little life inside you that has never done anything wrong. 

You fight and claw and panic, hysterics drowning out the one or two voices telling Joel to stop; who they belonged to, you couldn’t say. 

Joel stopped listening, and the voices grow louder as Joel drags you, kicking and screaming, outside; rope and a chair in his hand, your hair in the other, and Joel walked with long strides to a tree outside.

****************

YEEEEEEESSSSHHHHHHHHHHH Cliiiiiff hanger, hanging from a cliiiiiiffff thats why he's caaaaallled, Cliff Hangers!

Who else used to watch Inbetween The Lions? Anyway.

Who wanna guess what happens!

Only two chapters left!

For the sake of credit, if you didn't find the superstore reference or dont watch the show, most of the dialogue between Joel and Lorenzo and LO was between Amy and Jonah from two birth related episodes of superstore

Also, Maura is named after my dear dear friend @maura-honey who although is not generally a fanfiction girlie, made a tumblr so she could read, like and reblog this series and always sends me such lovely messages <3

Reblogs are the best way to spread and support, but comments mean the world. I know not everyone likes to share dark content on their blog, but even a kind anon is such support!

for those who voted you dont like or hate or Lorenzo, I hope that doesn't mean you hate him as n he's a bad character. I got a comment on AO3 that said "i cant tell if i like lorenzo or not, but i like him in the story" which makes sense! His victim blaming is really fucking shitty.

no poll today, sorry!

MoonBanana said they think LO copes by lying to herself until she beleives it, what do y'all think? is she as delusional as joel?

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy

[euphoricfilter]

Your yoongi Drabble got me thinking of things like mc at his feet and him petting her hair while he watches TV or something and OOP— THATS THE DOSE OF FLUFF I WOULD NEED IF YOU DO END UP MAKING A PART 2!!!! Or like yoongi scrunching up her cheeks and shaking her head the same way you would an actual dog or cat while she lays on his chest. OR him brushing her hair or something after a bath. MAYBE IM MAKING IT MORE FLUFFY THEN WHAT WAS INTENDED

I would also love to see how oc acts when she’s out of her headspace if she ever does have those moments? Like is it a 24/7 type of subspace she’s in or does she sort of snap out of it temporarily when she goes to work or hangs out with friends? What made her panic so much that she shoved the collar on in that one scene? Would OC be slightly yandere for yoongi? I saw in a previous ask you would show her pov maybe and I’m excited if you do!! I love the type of relationship you explored in that Drabble and it’s just so interesting and well written~~~ you’re very talented!! ^^

YUH YOUR MIND IM GIGGLING

the m/c sat at yoongi’s feet, nudging her forehead against his knee when his fingers go lax— maybe he gets really into a documentary but the m/c just wants to be pet :( i can imagine his smile when she does that, maybe cooing at her before he tugs her hair a little for just being so needy 🥲

ahhh a lil cheek squish and you know he’d press a kiss to her nose and lips when he does that, and maybe soft kisses get the m/c all flustered so she starts rutting her hips backwards to try and get herself off and yoongi would just let her because she just can’t help herself the poor thing :(

YOURE MIND IS SO YUMMY you know he’d love helping her bathe, making sure her hair is washed all nice, smelling all cute. and maybe his guilty pleasure is like pampering her. putting essence in her hair after a bath and brushing it until it’s all soft and fluffy, maybe he learns how to braid hair so he can make her all cute and pretty. i think he’d also love like lathering up her body in lotions so her skin is all soft and i think he’d especially love days where she gets too sleepy and he can brush her teeth and do her skincare routine for her before tucking her in bed with her favorite blanket

no because i must have been in my feels while writing it because yoongi came out way softer than i’d intended him to be and i think if i ever have the time i’ll write a different yoongi drabble where he’s a mean dom with pet reader but for now we’re just rolling with fluffy yoongi until we get an alternative version of the story 😭

i think because— yoongi is still a yandere albeit a little soft, he would try and keep her in a hazy headspace for as long as he can. and maybe it’s the security he gets that yeah she needs him when he’s like this and she can’t go anywhere without him knowing. i think at the start of their.. arrangement? she’s very wary of letting her full guard down around him and maybe doesn’t slip as often as he’d have liked but i think once she realizes yoongi and his studio is like a safe space maybe the moment she sees him she feels all gooey and just soft and malleable to his touch. and then i think she would slip a lot more often and maybe it’s hard to coax her out of it once she slips because it just feels so good to not have to think sometimes :(

i think at some point yoongi would just get her to quit her job, he makes enough for the both of them and i think he slowly realizes that she could be with him literally 24/7 if she didn’t have a job and just lounge around in his studio all day. uhhh yeah friends, they would… disappear slowly 😀 but worry not! because yoongi would be her best friend so she doesn’t need anyone else anyways!

(cw: non-consensual touching)

i think yoongi had made sure she knew the collar was like a safety blanket, and maybe she’d come to associate it with safety because well if she belongs to yoongi he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her.

maybe one morning some greasy old dude had been a little too handsy with her even when she’d brushed him off and made it very very clear she wasn’t interested in the slightest and his constant advances had spiked her anxiety, and maybe in the haze of adrenaline the only thing she could thing of was her collar because she just always seemed to feel better when she had the weight of it around her neck.

~

ooh maybe not yandere but i think she’d definitely feel jealousy. obviously being an idol there’s a lot of other staff constantly around yoongi and although yoongi makes it clear he only has eyes for her i think maybe she’d be a little bitchy to a few of the other female staff when they touch yoongi a little too much for her liking; i doubt she’d ever go as far as yoongi though and kill a person

ah yes, whenever i get round to part 2 i think it would be interesting to see their relationship from another perspective, and maybe their dynamic when they’ve established more of a relationship whatever it may be so i would explore the reader’s pov this time!

ahhh you’ll make me blush, thank you so much my lovely! and thank you for reading!!! i had fun answering your questions as well— i have such smart readers 😋

[imscissorbladez]

Short Playlists for Tavs

I’m in the zone so for further context have some songs:

Rook

all fired up - interpol

the people person of this ragtag band. sees every social interaction as a game; how do i get what i want and we all still have fun. it works, mostly. and if not, they’re a bard with a sword and that’s a truly terrifying thing to see early game.

we appreciate power - grimes, HANA

this is essentially the mindset they were in as they started consuming parasites like it was their job. it’s fine! it’s not a problem! they’re just helping. and that’s how they became half illithid. it’s the tragic story of a half elf who knew they couldn’t help the way that they wanted to, and turned to power outside of their control because they do care, it’s just hard to see.

good grief - cleopatrick

is vaguely insecure as the bard! can’t do anything their companions can do, and it absolutely upsets them, yes, but when someone tries to talk down to them? all hell breaks loose. and this song is absolutely a tribute to that.

parasite eve - bring me the horizon

mainly because they’re a drum bard, and i love the idea of this being the song they play in the upper city with other bards just before the final battle. they know they’ve all done right and wrong, but there’s a time and place to unpack that. also the idea of them scaring the place with this song?? but rallying everyone? immaculate.

fun fact: headcanoning the fem and masc voice that joins in for chorus as shadowheart and gale, who were rook’s ride or dies.

Ry’lrr

black wave - k.flay

i just need you to know the lyrics ‘I swear to god you don’t wanna test me’ are said with an air of desperation that ry’lyrr embodies. she awakes knowing that she has the urge. she lives with it every day. it’s chaotic and painful and difficult to understand. and yet she prevails.

the moon will sing - the crane wives

i need you to consider for a moment what it’s like to have a dark urge tav who sees lae’zel as the sun. literally the only light she’s ever known. i am sobbing, crying, foaming at the mouth.

did you hear the rain - george ezra

this is deeply orin and ry’lrr coded in ways i cannot explain without an essay. sworn rivals, sisters who one of them doesn’t remember the other. the ry’lrr before dark urge was something else. orin lost her great rival and it’s actually very sad to me.

map of the problematique - muse

ry’lyrr cannot bear the idea of losing any of her companions. she knows that in another life, it would be none of them. now it’s all of them, and she goes to battle for them, not for the world, but for them.

honourable mention: obey by bring me the horizon and yungblud was so very orin and ry’lrr before…. everything happened.

Elys

get into it (yuh) - doja cat

let her have her moment. this is the noble that people knew in the upper city, betrothed, fucking around and finding out, seemingly untouchable. absolutely her opening song.

hurricane drunk - florence + the machine

where elys starts. traumatic breakup, has turned to self destruction. it helps that she’s a draconic lightning sorcerer realistically. so she went out! For weeks! …and was picked up by mindflayers.

money - lisa

i’m not going to lie, elys and astarion are besties for this reason: she spends the entire tadpole era dropping money wherever she can. morally grey and banked up. she’s a bad bitch. we allow it. her fellow tav hates it.

little girl gone - chinchilla

the emperor came to elys as essentially a full copy of their ex. and elys was struggling so was okay with it. but with a healthy love, she goes into battle now not trusting the emperor, a manipulator, and an actually terrifying sorcerer that her draconic ancestry would be proud of. she leaves him on the battlefield as he tries to fight her, which is the closure she’d never get otherwise. wyll is very proud and a little smug.

fun fact: the cave by mumford and sons is THE wyll/elys song

Haven

Haven requires essays so we unpack that later. There’s also a whole Spotify playlist so lmk if you want it.