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#so far they don't have any but I'm going to do my best to keep it that way
foone · 1 day
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Ok so I've done some cursory looking over hdg and it seems like it would like, 99% be my thing except for the caked in assumptions regarding consent.
If benevolent plant beings showed up from space and said "We're here to free you from capitalism and also do some weird kink stuff with you if you're into that" I would not need to be mindbroken about it. I would be like "Can you maybe also do some weird body horror stuff to me please" and they'd be like "Yeah and we're also gonna keep you as a pet" and I'd say "Yippee!"
If there's like, a bunch of stories about enthusiastic consent in the setting it would become my favorite thing I think, but im not seeing any reference to stories like that so far in my research.
No, I don't know if there's any specific stories like that. There must be a couple (there's nearly 1000 stories on AO3 alone!), but I've not seen them. Any other HDG readers can recommend any?
But yeah. HDG is firmly in a dubcon hypnosis era: it's usually about subs going "no I don't want this!" and they eventually get convinced (possibly with mind control! ) that they're actually denying their feelings and they DO want this.
I can totally see why that kind of consent situation wouldn't be for everyone! But it's a bit baked into the setting, so I don't know how much HDG you'll he able to find that doesn't have it.
Best of luck, and I totally understand if you just don't enjoy HDG because of the consent issues. It's not for everyone.
For what it's worth, while I personally don't have a problem with reading the dubcon, it is a bit annoying to me, as someone who would similarly just dive into being a plant-mommy's pet. An HDG protagonist will be all "damn you freaky xenos! Stop trying to give me the body I always wanted and fixing everything about my life and trying to give me sexy plant cuddles with fun drugs!"
And I'm like... Sis, stop complaining. Embrace being a pet and enjoy. This is everything I wanted.
(I hope I don't get evicted from the HDG fandom for my heresy)
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forcedagere · 1 day
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I personally really like the idea of Bill x Reader x Ford. This one kinda ties into my previous post, but it’s not required reading. I suppose this would be an AU where Ford accepted Bill’s offer during Weirdmaggedon, or something else went wrong resulting in Bill staying in power :)
Contents: forced age regression, yandere, implied mental manipulation
Whereas Bill is far from the best caretaker (though he tries, in his own way), Ford takes care to create a semblance of structure in your life. He doesn’t have tons of practical experience with children or little ones such as you, but he makes up for it with dedication. He takes to caring for you as if it were a newly discovered, fascinating field of study. In other words… He reads many, many books, and tries all kinds of things to figure out what you like best.
Ford is not entirely fond of the kind of dynamic you have with Bill. It's not because he doesn't want to be referred to with parental terms, that's simply a matter of preference, but that he insists on you being friends above anything else. Considering the dynamics at play here, Ford cannot help but view it…
"As simply pedagogically irresponsible, Bill." The triangle in question rolls his eye. "Oh, boohoo! Fancy McFancypants over here knows what’s up!” Bill glances at you from the corner of his eye. Seeing you crack a smile while you’re sketching away with your crayons, he’s encouraged. “You read one book on how to raise a kid, and now you wanna tell me what to do? Get lost. Kid, c'mon, prove him wrong-- I'm your favourite, right?" You look up from your latest piece of art. You are drawing all three of you, in fact. You're usually deaf to their arguments, it's such a constant that you've grown used to the noise and stopped viewing it as a threat. (Your daddy calls it 'bickering'; Billy, when daddy isn't listening, calls it 'flirting'. That makes you giggle.) But you don't like getting involved in it yourself! So you firmly shake your head, and drop the pacifier attached to your necklace to speak. "No favourites… I love you both," you say with the confidence only someone as little as you could have. Billy's eyelid flutters, and your daddy smiles.
To put it simply, Bill is the ‘fun, rule-breaking parent’ and Ford is… A little less that. One should not take Bill Cipher as the benchmark of taking good care of a human, though.
Ford will make sure your meals are more varied than the endless stream of candy that Bill feeds you, and get you tucked in for sleep at regular times, too. Compared to Bill, who enjoys playing games with you and ‘roughhousing’, Ford prefers calmer activities. He’s definitely up for the occasional board game, but, most of the time, he’ll read to you, make drawings upon requests (or give you lessons!), or toy around with science experiments safe for someone who gets the urge to put anything that looks interesting inside their mouth.
He might’ve taken you for an adventure or two outside, but… The world hasn’t been the same since Bill got his hands all over it. He may be technically immortal now. You decidedly are not, as far as he knows. Either way, he doubts that Bill would let you out of this room to begin with. He doesn’t have to ask to be able to know that. If there is any reason he would keep someone locked up the way he does with you, it must be because you have some form of special connection to him. Ford does not believe he would risk that.
Really, Ford isn’t stupid or blind. It’s not that he’s going along with all of this because he is ignorant of Bill’s manipulation of your mental state. Bill can call it a ‘nudge in the right direction’ all he wants. He’s keeping you regressed. But everything has changed. He has changed, and Ford doesn’t know if he made the right decision. He fears he hasn’t. (Somewhere out there, in an alternate universe, a Stanford must live who made a difference decision. Ford hopes he’s happy.)
Spending time in this little contained room, with something dependent on him and eager to be looked after by him, who doesn’t know better and never will… It’s not good, it’s the very definition of selfish, but it’s comforting to him. Grounding, in a sense. With an eternity of time left ahead of him and the foundations of his previous life all but crumbled, he has something steady to return to. It doesn’t matter how much he rationalizes it. It’s twisted and fucked up, plain and simple.
…He supposes he can understand why Bill finds him so amusing, even now.
A little whimper snaps him from the spiral of his thoughts. Your bottle is empty. He should get youa refill, then pull you back on his lap.
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madhatterbri · 12 hours
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Mistake | D.P.
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Summary: Reader and Damian are dating, but onscreen they are enemies. At Bash in Berlin, reader teams up with Finn and JD against Damian, Rhea, and Jey. During the match, reader distracts Jey by jumping into his arms and rubbing her nose against his. This action makes Damian incredibly jealous
Author's Note: No part 2. There has been too much fluff lately. 😂
Requested by: Anonymous
Damian Priest Masterlist
Taglist: @theworldofotps @smallestsnarkestgirl @mrsarcherofinfamy @brideofinfamy @miss-kuki-nz @terrortwinunicorn @magicalbuttertarts
It was challenging working against Damian Priest onscreen while dating him offscreen. There were so many times that Y/N wanted to intervene and help him and Rhea. She always managed to keep it professional and never cross the line. All was going well until Bash in Berlin.
Y/N was scheduled for a match. She was excited since this was her first major match in a different country. The butterflies in her stomach were on overdrive that day. Damian did his best to distract her. Finally, their match was up next.
The terror twins and Jey were made to look strong. The crowd loved to see them winning. A couple of times, Finn, JD, and Y/N were able to get a few minutes of momentum. Yet the momentum would quickly shift back to the terror twins and Jey.
"They are killing us out there," JD commented. He was breathing heavily.
Finn agreed. "We need a distraction,"
Y/N pursed her lips and looked around. She stopped the moment her eyes locked on Jey. "Take care of Damian. I have Jey covered,"
The female wrestler slowly walked over to Jey. Her hands behind her back. Mister Main Event immediately took notice. He had a cocky smirk on his lips. "Can I help you?"
"You just look really good today," she commented and rubbed his muscular arm. Y/N giggled and rubbed his other arm. She raised her hands up to his neck. Her fingers rubbed his tan flesh slowly.
"You know you don't look bad yourself," he commented. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck and jumped. He caught her to avoid her from falling on the ground. She grabbed his cheeks so he couldn't move his face away. Her nose rubbed against his. More giggles came out of her body.
Jey dropped her immediately when he saw Damian came over. The archer of infamy was furious. He started to yell at Jey.
"She came up to me, man!" Jey defended. He put his hands in the air and backed away.
Damian turned his sights to Y/N. His face was red from anger, but his eyes looked hurt. She bit her lip, knowing that she had taken this too far. Any woman that did that to him would be dead.
"You took it too far," he told her simply. When she went to apologize, he blew her off.
The match ended a few minutes after that. Her boyfriend and his friends were the victors. Finn and JD tried to comfort her as they walked backstage. She waited around for Damian.
When he appeared, he sighed loudly. "What were you doing out there?"
"I took it too far. I'm sorry. We needed a distraction and-,"
"And you thought throwing yourself to Jey Uso was the best answer?" He asked. "If you do that in front of me how do I know you aren't doing anything behind my back?"
Y/N's mouth dropped open in shock. Tears sprung to her eyes. "Damian, it was just a mistake. I would never intentionally hurt you,"
"Hey, everything okay back here?" Rhea asked.
Damian shook his head. The ex campeon was embarrassed and hurt. He took a deep breath and rubbed his face. "I don't know if I can trust you ever again. I'm done with this conversation,"
Before Y/N could talk sense into him, he walked away from her. Rhea immediately wrapped her arms around her. Y/N buried her face in Rhea's shoulder and cried. Her friend rubbed her back and tried to soothe her. Mami insisted that everything was going to be okay.
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monty-glasses-roxy · 5 months
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Just had the idea of doing a Roxy askblog that's based on it being a secret blog she's not allowed to have and every so often if someone asks her something she just says stuff like "To the Fazspy reading this, I'm not the real Roxy." to try and throw the staff off her trail lmao
Will probably never make a blog like that, but it could be kinda funny. Maybe I bring the idea of an 'ask Roxy anything' game back where I draw the answers for it instead so it's not a whole ass blog dedicated to Roxy being a sneaky lil shit on the internet
#there's several reasons I probably won't do it but it's a fun spin on stuff#roxy exploring the closed off parts of the plex in first person lmao#taking pictures like 'look see? its right there!' and she's pointing at literally nothing because the camera doesn't see what her eyes see#could be funny!#but doing things is... I would say it's improving but not really#it's improving in a maybe it is maybe it isn't sort of way so who knows if I'll ever get to do it anyway#ANYWAY yeah I'll probs not do this. literally no one would interact with it#the people are bored of my plex history stuff anyway so like... yeah it's cool I know when something won't work#an askblog only works if it gets asks and uh yeah the amount of askblogs I've seen die off within a week here because of that is crazy#no thank you to that I think!#I'm not putting the effort into something like that just to have it die so fast#hi if you read this far go find an askblog and pester the shit out of them it's fun#I haven't seen any around for a while but I also can't view half of tumblr on my phone#so it's really fucking hard to see them even if I follow them :(#but yeah if there's any sb askblogs out there or anyone that wants to have a go at it tag me in a post.#I WILL show up to be silly in your inbox though I may not always remember the plot if there is one#again. I can't see half of tumblr on mobile and that includes blogs but I'll do my best man#askblogs are fun! they're goofy and chaotic!#highly recommend!! I haven't ran one in years but they were very fun!!#ANYWAY Roxy just making posts like 'Jerry. Sandy. I know what you two keep doing in the Gator Golf caravan. :)'#just name dropping random plex guests to be like 'I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE' for shits and giggles#'who are they?' 'oh just two morons that dont know I know Everything Ever. Don't worry about it.'#ya know?? fun! goofy shit! could be funny!#random pictures from inside the plex like 'lmao they think I cant see them' and its just a fucking wall like yeah I wonder why#maybe it's the fucking wall in the way who knows? it's a mystery sdfdsf#pop rox talks
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adore-gregor · 7 months
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ugh
#altough it got better in a way my self confidence is still so bad :(#some days it's worse than others it changes with my mood or idk#just lately i have been feeling kinda down about myself#i just have never been this naturally confident person and i feel like i'm not enough or not doing enough a lot at times :/#when i was younger it was even worse and i thought of myself that no guy would ever like me bc i'm so not good looking#obviously that was not true and guys do like me and i would not go that far anymore but often i look at myself and think average at best#even though that might not even be true and sometimes i like what i look like in a mirror but i think to myself just good lighting or sth#and so often when i see a bad picture of myself i feel so ashamed like i'd just wish i looked differently#and when guys tell me i'm pretty or also other people i find it so difficult to believe that like i don't see that in myself#but it does not make a sense i know others don't think of me like that also guys i think of as a attractive but i don't see myself like that#but it's not just that i often also feel doubtful i will ever achieve much#i always think i should be finished with uni already or have better grades#and mostly that i'm not smart enough in general#but my grades are not even bad and i'm not failing any classes#like i just got another a in that class (i'm actually really happy about that one) but then i think okay but some people have all a's#like i could do better i could study harder#unfortunately i'm a master of procrastination as well 😅 and quite good at lol#what i mean is that i manage to study very little compared to others and still get good grades - sounds good but keeps me lazy 😅#and i also think when i achieve a good grade often that i don't deserve it that much because i could have studied more#and that i just got lucky which is not very rational i know 😅#or once i actually just passed an exam (i studied the night before) and i though yeah the teacher just felt sorry for me and let me pass#realistically i don't think it was like that#and at uni i studied for big exams which were feared by students for 2 days and got a b#which should indicate i'm somewhat smart but i think i just know the right study techniques and got lucky again#altough i do know good study techniques i think :))#buuut sometimes i do things which are so dumb like i do have these moments my mind is going like blank#and it's not difficult things even#like in football we did this exercise of a series of passes and everyone got it but me until a few tries like how is this harder#i'm just kind of bad at envisioning like this series 3 dimensionally in my mind idk i usually get it once i do it and remember the movement#what it feels like
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Uni lecture is making me think about my future for a minute and auuuggghhhh the agonies
#personal#taking a brief break from it bc the feeling hasnt quite overwhelmed me yet but i dont think I'm going to be okay by the end of it!#its asking me to consider what my strengths are. what kind of role I'd like to have in the industry when i graduate#these are questions that i SHOULD certainly have answers to but they kind of just make me not wanna be alive yk? bc i have no answers#I'm not really good at much. like the things I'm best at I'm still completely unexceptional#what are my strengths? don't have any. next question#what job do i want to have in the industry? well that requires an answer to the first question doesn't it#not to mention it requires me to think about graduating and having a job and I've simply never imagined myself getting that far#and i can only give this so much of my attention span bc I'm also thinking about how hard i failed my modules from last semester#my best grade this year has been a c#one of them is a marginal fail meaning i do the reassessment this year (i think)#the other is a hard f. what does that mean? do i resit the entire course next year? maybe#and i can't look it up just yet bc i need to make it through the lecture bc I'm really far behind this other module already#and it's only week 3 and i have a presentation tomorrow#and if i stop watching it im not convinced I'll bring myself to start watching again!#so instead i was just sitting here trying not to get overwhelmed by all of the things i should be thinking about!!!#that's why I'm making the post tbh. just to organise my thoughts and get it out of my system and give myself time to breathe#and my phone keeps buzzing while i type and if it does that one more time i will launch us both out of the window I'm so fucking done#semester has barely begun and im so fucking overwhelmed already#I've joked about being the token nt mutual before but honestly the past few years I've just been getting gradually more convinced I'm not#this can't be how everyone else is experiencing life. surely#like dude I'm so out of fucking touch w the concept of being a human#so in summary: augh the agonies
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crystalkitty1220 · 11 months
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Welcome back to tumblr! Hope you enjoyed your break
It was very stressful. Ended up failing the marking period for English, but not by as much as I was failing before. Could still pull up the overall grade by the end of the semester.
#started writing a fic a few days ago. been a while since ive done that.#so far felix is very out of character but he's only gonna be the focus for the first chapter. plus i might go back and rewrite him.#maybe i should wait until the new chapter comes out tho so it's relevant to updated canon#anyway echos started brainrotting about chris in a /pos way so yeah a lot of my break has been rethinking old analysis#started to notice that he's a lot more fun if i get in the mindset that he's not poorly written he's just literally isaac's antagonist#also my siblings have been hyperfixating on DC so i watched a batman series. i think they're very disappointed in me for choosing batwheels.#snowy best vehicle#. what else#oh ive been doodling a nightmare design#been liking the idea of him and dream not being skeletons but dont wanna draw/write them as their canon human designs#because (if i'm correct) they get those designs at some point later in the story. and i don't want to confuse the timeline like that.#so ive been working on concept sketches for a less human design for them. ive also noticed that them being humans in canon actually#makes a lot of sense because the other guardians don't really have any connection between their species and it can be assumed that#whatever they are exists in the universes/multiverse they're from. so it makes sense for the twins to be humans because the utmv has humans.#. but i also like how they couldn't be given the human forms at first because of the lack of holes.#so the design im working on has gill/stripe-looking vents for the energy to come out of.#also gonna try to add little fire wisps into the design because i love their true forms so much#anyway i dont think there's been more that ive done. other than schoolwork. and watching qsmp.#oh i started working on an animatic. but i do that all the time. it'll be a bigger occasion if i finish one lol.#think im gonna still keep interaction on tumblr to a smaller scale because i wanna keep getting stuff done
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#no need to read or react just needed to rant about my brain a bit#the next two weeks are supposed to be super exciting with BC giving us a new look and song and music video#it's umk week and my favorite for once has historically great odds of winning and a good chance to do well at eurovision as well#I'm going to see umk live with my dear sister and stay at a hotel so it's like a mini-getout and then I'm going to stockholm and oslo gigs#this is supposed to be best times of the year so far but my brain decided we can't have any of that :)#last year at this same time I got hit hard with depression and the anxiety I've always had got even worse#it got to the point that nothing made me happy or feel anything at all and I just cried all day for weeks#everything about UMK night was blurry and sad because I wasn't talking to my bestie who I've watched eurovision with for 10 years#I just started crying during the Dark Side/ Bad Idea opening and the results felt like nothing#I'll always assiociate Bad Idea with my depression because it was playing on the radio in the nurse's office when I got my meds#anyway I can feel that same darkness crawling back to my brain right now and I'm very scared#my brain decides I don't deserve to be happy and screams about how unloveable and ridiculous and embarrassing and ugly I am#it isn't helping that Joel keeps reposting the most model-looking tiktokers because I always feel a hot gush of shame run through me#and everytime I see a pic of any of their blonde skinny young gfs I just wanna kms#now it's gotten to a point that the voice in my head yells at me that I don't deserve Bc or their music and I should cancel my gig trip#because they wouldn't wanna see a disgusting cow myself being so near the stage not to mention ask for a pic or autograph#and I should just hide in my apartment forever#and everyone who has ever been nice to me is either doing that out of pity or making fun of me behind my back#I can't take this anymore#delete later
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jedi-bird · 1 month
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Just got bit by a flea while cleaning up the backyard. Guess I'm buying yard flea spray today.
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enbyhyena · 2 months
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please stop scrolling for a sec!! i'd really appreciate your attention!!
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hello, my name is nexys and i am a disabled, autistic, and queer person trying to make it in the content creation world. i'll do my best to keep this short and sweet, but i'm going to be having a subathon over on twitch starting 8/1 (august 1st) at 12pm CST.
this event is super important to me, as i'm trying to raise money to improve my living situation, as well as the living situations of those in my community. i'm also going to be running a charity day on friday, august 2nd for parkinson's awareness, research, and treatment, and will be having on my grandfather, who is an advocate with the disease. and i know it would mean a lot to him if he was able to raise some money to help other people like him.
for those that don't know, a subathon is when a streamer goes live on twitch for a certain amount of time, and the stream ends when the timer runs out. however, the timer can be increased indefinitely by viewers donating money, subscribing, gifting subscriptions, or cheering bits.
due to my disabilities i can't go 24/7 like some of the maniacs (/lh) out there, but i have committed to going every single day for at least four hours until the timer hits zero. and once again, this subathon event holds potential to be lifechanging for a lot of people. plus i'll be collaborating with over a dozen other creators throughout the first week, so you'll be getting a lot of variety! we'll be playing everything from pokémon to phasmophobia, roblox to subnautica, and more!
even if you can't contribute financially, dropping a follow, saying hello, and just Being There would mean the world to everyone involved.
here's my linktree, which directs to every website i'm on, including my twitch channel and discord server.
even if you're not personally interested in this project, please consider reblogging! there's a chance one of your followers might be interested, and any engagement helps. <33 thank you so much for reading this far, and i hope you have a great rest of your day/night!
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diamondcitydarlin · 1 month
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Just fair warning- I said on my personal post about this that I wasn't going to talk about Neil Gaiman anymore, but as it's becoming clear that him and his publishers and anyone else who makes money off of him is circling the wagons and trying to bury these allegations, as well as some fans still defending and trying to 'rationalize' this information, I feel like, actually, we need to keep talking about him (as much as I cannot stand him and feel physically disgusted now when I so much as see his face somewhere). Specifically, the fact that he's a liar, master manipulator and should not, under any circumstances, be given access to his fans like he has in the past. At the very least. (And if you need to blacklist his name or even unfollow me so as to not be triggered, I completely understand, but I will always try to tag these posts accordingly and I think it's crucial right now that the truth be put where people can see)
This post specifically is in response to those 'rationalizations' I've seen, some that have gone as far as to blame the young fans/groupies that hooked up with him for being 'golddiggers' or just making a mountain out of a molehill for something they now regret. It's not that simple, yall. (And, again, this requires some amount of completely ignoring the story about him extorting his tenant for sex under threat of eviction of her and her three young children, I'm not sure how you 'rationalize' that under the best of circumstances)
So let's be clear here. What we know is that NG has routinely, for possibly an upwards of 30 years, pulled sexual 'partners' from his fan groups, most of whom are 18-22 year old young women (though possibly younger, accounts are coming forward of 16 year olds having allegedly been inappropriately touched/flirted/propositioned by him, which ig is the age of consent in the UK but still?? 16 year olds!!). This wasn't one or two times in the course of three decades, this was a constant pattern of behavior for him and for a very insidious reason.
This isn't to try to infantilize those fans or young women/young people in general or try to suggest that they couldn't have consented to sex with an older person or famous person. In fact, the onus isn't on them at all. This is about an older guy with a lot of fame, power and wealth choosing to sleep with people that he had already conditioned to idolize him and using that power imbalance to coerce them into doing things they didn't want to.
Regardless of one's age or gender identity, it can be difficult to impossible to say 'no' to someone like that. After all, you've been 'chosen' by the chosen one, you're special and not like everyone else, and if you don't do what the popular person everyone trusts is telling you to do you could end up ostracized. Alienated. Or worse. And you know what? Gaiman knew that! He knew it when he was crafting his 'approachable dad' persona on tumblr. He knew it when he was cultivating a fandom of personality. He knew it when he was having huge meetups to try to ensnare more victims. I hate to even think it, but I'm starting to believe he knew it when he was writing children's books too.
It's been talked about again and again in separate issues, but needless to say something not being strictly illegal does not make it inherently, morally okay. It does not erase the fact that this man has been essentially grooming his fandom to feel safe meeting/speaking with him so he can coerce those he can snare into sexual acts they're not comfortable with. That is predator behavior, whether strictly 'illegal' in the eyes of a court or not (but ofc I think he should be criminally punished even if I'm not naive enough to think he actually will be, because this IS rape and rape should be criminally punished)
I'm not personally advocating for anyone to give up being in his related fandoms, but what I am personally advocating for is that people don't forget who he is and what he's capable of, especially when he tries to crawl back to where he was (I'm almost certain he will eventually, as I've said).
Again, at the very least, we need to use what little influence we do have to keep him from infiltrating fan spaces again. He should not be on tumblr yukking it up with young people, he should not be at public appearances hitting on teenagers, he should not be given the unrestricted access to fans that he's 'enjoyed' for the past 30+ years because he is not a safe person. While I wish there was more in the way of restorative justice that could be done, I think at very, very least we should do what we can to limit his proximity to people he could hurt in the future. Make sure no one forgets, because sweeping this under the rug means Gaiman gets to hurt more people.
Lastly, no one is the wrong for having been manipulated by him. Let's make that very clear. What we're NOT gonna do is blame ourselves, each other, the victims, etc, for evil acts that Gaiman chose to do himself, time and time and time again. It doesn't help the situation and it certainly doesn't protect future potential victims. We were all duped because we're human and we attach and a lot of us want to believe there are good people out there, particularly those who make art that means so much to us.
And there are. But let's also use this a teaching/learning tool about how much faith we place in famous people in the future, regardless of how 'approachable' and 'safe' they might seem. Let's remember to have a healthy suspicion of creators/famous people that are oddly immersed in fandom spaces- yes, even the ones you still currently like that seem fine, as difficult as that may seem.
At the end of the day, we don't know them or what they're capable of doing or what they might be plotting to do to us. Support victims. Amplify their voices. Don't forget.
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nondualiber · 2 months
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"act as if you have it" hell no. 💌
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i believe that ‘act as if you have it’ is often tied to limiting our behaviour by asking ourselves questions like ‘would i feel/act/do this way if i already had my desire?’ (ex: ‘would i feel sad to see my body in the mirror if i already had my desired body?’) and actually the answer to all those questions is YES because if you decided it, then you already have that desire (in this example, your desired body) and you still feel sad to see it, there is no reason to deny it.
In that sense, thinking ‘as if you already have it’ seems to me to be limiting and a way… manifesting doesn't work like most things we know. feelings (which come from the brain) and actions are 3d things and 3d can NEVER affect manifestation, so they (feelings, actions and loa) are separate things. just like you can eat as much or as little as you want and do as much exercise as you want in 3d and still have your desired body with manifesting, you can do absolutely anything, act in any way, and feel anything in 3d and still have your desire. so when i feel bad i downplay it as far as manifestation is concerned. yes, i feel really bad, yes, i'm having a hard time with such and such, yes, i don't want to persist or keep going with my method, but i have my desire anyway.
another thing -sometimes we believe we aren't manifesting correctly because while we affirm, visualize, or do any other method we don't feel like we have our desire; we aren't convinced or we don't feel happy or fulfilled, blah blah blah. actually, i don't think it means you're doing anything wrong since, i repeat, in the 3d we can feel however we want and our feelings DON'T make the methods we use less effective because, as we all know, the 3d has nothing to do with manifestation.
the way i see it (or better said i choose to see it, since it's the way it works the best with me and makes me feel more relieved about the 'process') is: nothing i do in the 3d can make what i want not come, not even thinking against said want (brain action btw), just because everything i want is already mine - the real me - and it has to come to me. an affirmation i use to remaind me this is 'there's nothing i have to do to archieve it and anything i think, feel or do doesn't change the fact that it's going to reach me'
i still think "in my favour" when i can because it makes me feel good and relieved about the fact that i have it, but when im triggered by the 3d and come back to thinking from the old story - i'll talk about it soon!! - i always know those moments are irrelevant because my desire will forever come my way (because it was always mine) and nothing the ego does can change that. and, if i'm not convinced about what i'm saying, i can always affirm and stand by that ౨ৎ
kisses,
- libertad
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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Stick Around
Jason Todd is your best friend. But sometimes you're not sure if you're his.
"Back off. I can stitch it myself." He nearly barks at you when you press the towel to his bleeding wound.
"Come on, Jason. Why can't I help?" You ask, trying to keep the worry and pleading from your voice.
"I don't want you to." He says, firm and flat as he pulls away, dragging the towel and the first aid kit with him. He doesn't go very far, but you have a sinking feeling that's more owed to the bathroom being small than him wanting to stay near you.
You shift on your feet, torn between listening– respecting his boundaries or stepping closer to help. You take a step, unable to stay away from him when his lips curl into a frown as he starts stitching his own wound.
"Let me. I know how. You taught me." You try again, careful and soft like you're the one that terrifies the worst of Gotham.
"I said no. Just give me some space." He tells you, hands working steadily to piece his skin back together. You vaugley wonder how many times he's done this alone.
Then his words register. You can't stop your face from crumbling. "You want me to leave?"
He doesn't look up, doesn't respond, too engrossed in his injury.
You nod a little, more to yourself than him as you scoot around him, avoiding brushing any part of him as you slip out the bathroom door. Hesitating, you quietly close the door behind you and linger in the hallway, unsure. How much space did he want? Was he upset with you? Did he want you to leave the apartment?
You let out a sigh and slowly head for the apartment door. You can stay at friends tonight. Stuffing down the emotions welling in your chest, you grab your jacket and start to shove your shoes on.
"Where are you going?" A sharp tone cuts you out of your self pity.
"You told me to leave?" You question, gaze snapping to him.
He stands there, hand over the gauze wrapped on his side and studies you. "No."
"No?" You echo, slowly lowering your coat.
"I only– I didn't want you to get any blood on you. Or see me like that. I don't want you to leave. Why would I ever not want to see you?” He says with a scoff, stepping closer to pull you away from the door, glaring at it like it personally offended him. “You’re the only person I want to be around, it’s maddening, I don’t know why anyone else even tries to speak to me when I can’t get my mind off of you-“
He shudders, like a huge weight has left his shoulders, words cutting off. He presses a kiss against your skin, without thinking, his mouth finding the juncture between your shoulder and your neck, pulling you tight against him. "I want you to stay here. With me." He murmurs against your skin before pulling back just enough to see your face.
"Oh." You fall quiet for a moment, looking anywhere but him as you start to speak again, fighting the heat that threatens to take over your face, "I don't mind. Blood, I mean. Not if I'm helping you."
He can't stop the smile that comes to his face, always so easy and present around you.
Jason reaches out, his fingers touching your chin, gently tapping it, to make you look at him. “Do you still think I don’t want you here? That I don’t want you around?” he asks, voice low.
You waver, eyes trailing back to his. "Well, no, I mean, I know you want me around."
"Good." He says softly, fingers lingering on your skin, on your face, on your waist. It makes you feel wanted, needed, safe.
The moment is so soft, so warm and inviting you want to lose yourself in it. But it feels like a lie to let yourself stay in it. Not when he's all you ever seem to want. When you dream of the color of his eyes and the feeling of his skin against yours. "Are you feeling dizzy? Need to sit down?" You ask, cutting the moment, the feeling that it could be something more, short.
He hums softly, like he expected your avoidance. "You don't have to run from me."
That makes you blink, surprise painting your features. "I'm not running. I'm not going anywhere."
"Oh please, there's so many things I know you've been holding out on me." He laughs a little before kissing your neck and whispering into your ear. "You wanted me way before I knew it was okay to admit wanting you. And now I'm going to make up for all that lost time." He looks at you with an intention you can feel behind his eyes. "There's nothing I won't do for you, nothing that I won't give you because you deserve the world and more." He kisses your forehead and smiles down at you softly as he sighs your name. "So don't run."
That makes your brain short circuit. And then the flood of scrambled thoughts overtake your mind. He knows you want him? Of course he does– He's one of the greatest detectives in the world, maybe even the universe. Why did you think you could hide it? How long has he known? But one thought persists above the rest. He wants you to?
Jason gently taps your hip, dragging your attention from the frantic jumble of questions in your head. "Focus on me. Not whatever's going on in your head. I don't need an answer right now. I just want you to be here." He says your name like it's precious, a treasure to keep close. "Please."
You nod slowly, trying to calm your pounding heart, to get your body to listen to you and answer him or touch him or anything.
"I could just kiss you right here. I could do that. You know, just take advantage of the situation? How you can't seem to believe that I want you. But..." he tilts his head, running his thumb along your jaw, "I want to kiss you when I know you're ready. For you to want it as badly as I do, pretty."
"What if I do?" You ask quietly, scared to break the tension building around the two of them. "What if I want to kiss you, Jason?"
"Yeah." You echo, just as quiet and soft as his voice.
"Yeah?" he whispers, his fingers finally gripping your hair, his thumb lightly caressing your neck. His eyes are locked on yours, and all the emotions that seem to be swirling around inside him right now are all concentrated on one, simple thing: keeping you.
He doesn't ask again, doesn't hesitate, just kisses you with the desperation of years of built of tension and longing glances. He kisses you like you're worth something, and you are. You're everything to him, and he now that he has you like this, he won't let a day pass without reminding you.
Your fingers curl in his shirt, his hand tightens in your hair and everything else seems to fade away when you deepen the kiss. Jason Todd is your best friend. And you're starting to believe that you're more than just that to him.
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monzabee · 5 months
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mr. big (social media au) - cs55
masterlist ||
Summary: The one where there he was, wearing armani on a sunday, your boyfriend, Carlos.
Pairing: carlos sainz x romance writer!reader (model used: random people i found on pinterest)
Warnings: none other than some cursing? carlos being an old money dream as always
Request: "For a smau, would love to see romance writer!reader with Carlos (he is just Disney prince vibes) where fans aren’t quite sure how they got together but the influence him on her work is greatly appreciated" by my lovely @percervall
Author note: OKAY JUST REALISED I AM A CARRIE AND BIG APOLOGIST, WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT (i might be freaking out about them, but i will always be a charlotte girl)!!! (might honestly turn it into a series because who doesn't love a satc x old money crossover???)
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.
yourusername
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Liked by carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, readersdigest and 438,927 others.
yourusername: busy, busy, busy bee.
user: thank you mother for feeding us with another hot billionaire novel
yourusername: you are more than welcome
user: how is she not only one of the best romance authors, but also a fashion icon??
user: can't wait to read what carlos inspired this time!!
carlossainz55: you are not wearing you glasses again, cariño
yourusername: why don't you come put them on yourself??
user: oh, they are so cute it's sickening
user: GIVE US THE MANUSCRIPT AND END OUR SUFFERING
view all 2,387 comments.
user: how did they get together again??
user: i think he ran into her at one of her book signings in madrid?
user: i thought it was when she went to the paddock for some good old r&d?
user: i heard somewhere that a friend set them up
yourusername posted a new story!
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carlossainz55 posted a story!
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yourusername
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Liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, goodreads and 682,928 others.
yourusername: life lately & "between love and loathing" out june 23rd.
user: we love the romantic getaway, and a new book!!
user: we're being fed in more ways than one, and i am not complaining at all!!
user: oh shit, we're about to read the best romance novel of all time
view all 13,726 comments.
carlossainz55: i'm so proud of you, you have no idea
yourusername: way to make me cry
yourusername: i love you though
carlossainz55: te quiero más
user: I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ARE THE OLD MONEY COUPLE WE NEEDED ALL ALONG AND WE DON'T KNOW HOW THEY STARTED DATING
user: it will remain forever a mystery
user: but at least we have content to keep us going through these hard times
carlossainz55
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Liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 977,520 others.
carlossainz55: one of us made the pancakes, and one of us stood there looking pretty.
yourusername: hey, it was your turn to make breakfast
carlossainz55: and i loved every second of it
yourusername: even doing the dishes?
carlossainz55: especially doing the dishes
user: this is by far the most romance book thing this man has done
user: i still don't understand how they started dating, but good for them i guess
view all 35,726 comments.
landonorris: hey, i didn't get any pancakes, did you? @charles_leclerc
charles_leclerc: didn't even know we were having pancakes, where are our pancakes @carlossainz55
landonorris: and cooking in a towel?? how is that sanitary??
charles_leclerc: he's breaking at least a dozen health codes
carlossainz55: i hate you both
yourusername: you are all a pr nightmare
scuderiaferrari: i agree
user: damn he got lucky
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Liked by f1wagss, carlossainz55, sarahjessicaparker and 736,928 others.
yourusername: and there he was, wearing armani on a sunday, carlos sainz.
user: SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
user: what kind of an iconic cunt slay is this
user: and just like that... they became the coolest couple on the internet
user: NEW NOVEL IDEA, SEX AND THE CITY RETELL WITH CARLOS
user: girl wtf
yourusername: no let her cook
yourusername: you might be onto something here
user: don't know if i want to be her or be carlos
view all 44,736 comments.
user: everybody say thank you mom for blessing us
carlossainz55: amor
yourusername: amor x2
user: oh she's working overtime god bless you
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cntloup · 5 months
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Mafia!Simon x Bartender!Reader
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
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You've been working here for ages, in this once rusty old bar which is now adorned by lively colors and music, turned into the best nightclub in the city, serving the best drinks and entertainments with the most beautiful dancers.
All in all, you have witnessed the worst and the best of this place. 
And you have come to know the people who own the place. 
In fact, you know them like the back of your hand, even better than themselves one might say. 
You're bright and perceptive, and working as a bartender in a place like this where it is jam-packed with important people all the time has its own perks. 
With a little bit of booze and honeyed words you bring out everyone’s hidden side and in no time, they’re spilling their deepest darkest secrets to who seems like just a sweet, harmless bartender. 
“Here you go.” you say to Simon, placing his usual Kentucky Bourbon on the counter, “Thanks, dove.” he says and brings the glass to his lips. 
“You know... I say don’t fuck around with the Russians!” you remark while drying the cups and placing them on the shelves. 
They asked your opinion on the matter since you’re their most trusted ally outside the group. As a matter of fact, they consider you part of the group by now. 
He chuckles before saying “That’s what I told Price.” 
“So why is he doing this?” you ask regarding cutting a deal with the Russians and Simon shrugs. 
You’ve had a weird feeling about it since they mentioned it to you. 
“Well, if any of you care about my opinion, don’t do it. It just doesn’t feel right to me.” you say with a shrug and look over to find him deep in thought, eyebrows furrowed and gorgeous brown eyes focused on somewhere far away. 
Gods, he’s so handsome! You've been fond of him for some time now, and by the looks and little touches he gives you, you’d say the feeling is somewhat mutual. 
Out of all of them, he’s always been the closest to you.  
And he’s been your biggest protector all throughout this wild ride you’ve been on together. 
He always keeps an eye on you in case any of the customers gets too close and makes you uncomfortable; God forbid if any of them gets touchy, they’d be digging their own grave by doing that. 
You come back from your daydreams after hearing him clear his throat. 
You notice you’ve been staring far too long, choosing to ignore the faint smirk on his lips. 
“Sorry... just thinking about the deal.” you lie and dip your head, busying yourself with cleaning the cups and hoping he won’t notice your burning cheeks. 
“Well, I'm off to meet John now. I'll make sure to give him your opinion too.” he says while standing from his chair, “Thanks for the drink.” he offers a small smile with a nod. 
“You’re welcome, Si... and I'm sure he won’t listen to me. His mind is set on the idea and that’s that. Not that I would ever question his decisions. I have too much respect for the man to do that. He must know something that we don’t.” you mention while grabbing his glass and placing it in the sink. 
“I can assure you that he values your opinion just as much as you do his. He'll think about it. Don't worry.” he says while gathering his stuff and placing your tip on the counter, a hefty envelope, so generous as always. 
“Simon! I can’t accept this! This is... too much! You do this every time!” you exclaim with a frown, nudging the envelope in his direction. 
“Take it. I insist. You can renovate your apartment. Last time I was there, it was a bloody mess!” he teases with a playful smirk.
“HEY!” you say in mock annoyance while throwing the rag in your hand at him.
“My apartment is fine as it is, thank you very much!” you retort, failing to hide the smile forming on your lips. 
You take the envelope hesitantly after so much persuasion on his part and wave him goodbye, feeling butterflies dance in your belly as thoughts of him linger in your mind.
You dip your head and go on with what you were doing, lost in your own world and not noticing the dark shadow lurking in the distance and standing in a corner, carefully observing the place, and most importantly... you. 
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