#so every time i see posts like that i'm just. what do you want me to do with it then

[stealingpotatoes]

POTES SEMI-LIVEBLOGS KOTOR!

ive been writing my thoughts in the notes app but due to popular demand (one person asked for it) i'm posting my liveblogging DO NOT SAY/TAG/COMMENT SPOILERS PLEASE i read tags

warning im a yapper, im 10 hours in and theres a lot already (separated into sessions):

SESSION 1

whos this clown i thought i would be playing as revan

ive been too spoiled by dragon age origins this character creator sucks ass

only human???? ): fr?? ill just imagine her different in my brain or some shit

my life is being mansplained to me. is this bad writing or do i have amnesiacs

hes meta now??? hes talking abt the screen controls?????

omg a jedi and an evil jediii

omg their asses suckedddd they both died immediately

i <3 bringing a sword to a gun fight

WHY R THERE SO MANY SITH WHERE IS TJE RULE OF TWO

i clicked a workbench and it said lightsaber so either i get a lightsaber or i get a jedi friend whose lightsaber i can steal if im careful

I assume u play as revan in kotor2 so im gonna buy that now so i can play it when im done playing w this clown

i got light side points im getting a good grade in game morality which is something both normal to want and possible to achieve

everyone keeps saying revan is dead but thats my friend revan from tumblr hes clearly alive. or they???

my characters ass is distractingly present onscreen

huge fan of the way everyone collapsed drunk what the FUCK was in that wine

ok these sith ppl might be the bad guys but their armour is DRIPPY AS FUCK

ideologically i dont agree w the sith but they kinda went off w the fits

googling how to become a sith without being evil cause they have Drip

SESSION 2

i paid £1.19 to see revan he better show up in this game at some point

all these sith n i still cant find one revan….. stop faking ur death rn come out n talk to me babygirl this isnt like u….

why can i be light/dark side if im not a jedi. give me a laser sword

maybe this jedi gyal will know where revan is faking his death. or give me a fuckin lightsaber PLEASEEE

was just thinking 'does this game have romance' and then carth called me beautiful. i dont think im gonna romance anyone until i get this amnesia sorted

why is carth questioning me so much abt the crash im pretty sure i have amnesia

why tf did the jedi lady have me transferred to this ship are we in lesbians with each other???

carth's not wrong it is suspicious but i lowkey have amnesia so i coulda done that i coulda not

a lot of clone wars voice actors in this. was lucasfilm so broke in the 2000s that they could only afford the same 3 VAs for every project

mission is 14??????? we need to get my girl back in school

SESH 3

tale as old as time i fucking suck at racing games

ok i didnt realise you had to mash click i won

REVAN!!! REVAN!!!!!!!!!

why am i dreaming abt revan tho. real as hell but ?????

lmao cringe revan getting blown up. i thought the jedi beat rev-meister in a fight but no. accident

"such visions are often a sign of force sensitivity" COOL YAY GIVE ME A LIGHTSABER

BASTILLE LOST HER FUCKING LIGHTSABER??

CARTH IS RIGHT THATS LIKE DAY ONE JEDI SHIT. ok i still love her even tho shes a bit of a bitch and also doesnt have a saber

if we find a lightsaber im taking it first tho

whys carth getting weird abt me being weird that he doesnt trust me. i just wanna be friends mate

SESH IV: A NEW HOPE

'i mean no disrespect, but perhaps one of the male slaves could serve you better' i went in here to start a slave revolution and instead got called a lesbo

LMAO THERES A SPICE LAB???? WALTER WHITE WHERE ARE YOU

thats insaneee they blew up BILLIONS of people to get to one jedi?????? these sith arent fucking around theyre scary

UM THIS IS CRAZY GRAPHICS THE LIGHTING IS CLEARER/DARKER WHEN I COVER THE SUN W THE SHIP EDGE?? 2003 IS THE YEAR OF THE FUTURE

someone just called me padawan i kinda assumed i was in my late 20s do i just have baby vibes

all the jedi in the movies are so chill but every kotor jedi i've met so far has been a bit of a bitch

YO THEY HAVE A YODA!!! its not THE yoda but

cool so these guys are just the regional managers at best. your asses are not the council

why can everyone smell my force juju so strong

THATS STRAIGHT UP YODA'S CLONE WARS VA

why does fake yoda not blink both eyes at the same time. im calling him master tortimer he reminds me of the animal crossing mayor

bastila there was no need for such a fancy bow

malak is like evil aang

revan is so much shorter than malak omg

are me and bastila sharing dreams. are we both obsessed w revan

poor mission ):

WHAT WAS MASTER TORTIMER ABT TO SAY????????? EVER SINCE WHEN??? DID WE KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE MY AMNESIACS????? DID BASTILA TELL U SMTHN MORE WHEN I WASNT IN THE ROOM???

im intrigued i like this whole hidden jedi shtick its very compelling. so is whatever theyre hiding from me

kinda surprising no jedi found me before tho given my force juju is so strong

IM A LEGIT JEDI NOW??? SICK!!!

does revan rlly not have pronouns i thought that was a tumblr thing but they straight up are a nonbinary icon ive never heard a single pronoun used. revan's pronouns are revan/revan's

damn revan seems so cool in these stories (charismatic war hero that convinced their troops to join them as conqueror?? julius caesar) and yet all we've seen them do onscreen is get blown up and die by accident

A YEAR AGO? the way they were talking i assumed revan died like. a week before the game started

master uh i forgot his name he has martin scorcese vibes said revan was a paragon of the jedi so what im getting is that all jedi gifted kids turn evil

even if i didnt know revan as a tumblr darling id KNOW revan has to be alive somewhere they way everyone talks abt them is too cool for a character who exploded and died. i think. i hope. I PAID £1.19 TO MEET REVAN

'only you and bastila can stop malak' seriously????? just us two?? ive been a jedi for like, 6 minutes and you guys keep calling bastila young???? do you guys not wanna help??

omg im getting carth to traumadump! <3

HE WAS ON REVAN'S ARMY>??

i totally knew the jedi code and did not have to google it whatsoever

they rlly said fuck going to illum heres a crystal from the bin

he told me id be a great sentinel and i was like i know but i want blue cause i dont wanna be matchies with bastila

OGH!!! I HAVE A LIGHTSABER!!!! THIS IS GAME OF THE YEAR!!!!

omg i made my lightsaber perfectlyyy which is rare <3 getting a good grade in jedi

maybe i was a travelling lightsaber salesman before my amnesia

seriously though WHO was i everyone's kinda stopped acting like i have amnesia since the first mission BUT IVE PLAYED DRAGON AGE THAT GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO RP UR PAST. THIS DOESNT. EITHER THIS GAME IS BAD (but i love it so its not) OR I HAVE RETROGRADE AMNESIA

also everyone keeps being like "Oh ur force juju is so strong" AND NOBODY FOUND ME TIL NOW??? suspicious. did getting a really bad concussion activate the force in me

im too confused and amnesiac'd to think abt anything except the fact i have a glowing stick now

FSESH FIVE:

big fan of using aliens to avoid having to get VAs to read every line

oh so carth's boyfriend saul betrayed him and became leader of the sith fleet so he has trust issues

well he needs to calm down. i can't betray him cause i dont know what the fuck is happening

yooo i love the design differences on the mandalorians

oh my god this lady wanted to fuck her droid cause it was her husband's. and then it killed itself. wtf. game of the year tho

wtf they jebaited this juhani person into going dark side but then i talked her out of it. that seems a bit mean of them

i hope she can join my party she looks too unique to be a random npc

ive been thinking and I might be going crazy but there was a loading screen tip ages ago that said jedis could wipe ppl's mind and all i thought at the time was 'fuck the shitshow acolyte didnt make that up'. but what if one of them wiped MY memory and i used to be a jedi or smthn ????????

cause they keep being like ur weirdly good at this??? did bastila steal my memories??????????

I KNOW I HAVE AMNESIA!! EVEN IF EVERYONE DOESN'T BRING IT UP BC THEYRE PROBABLY TRYING TO SAVE MY FEELINGS

if i dont have amnesia and im just deeping the fact the opening had my life being mansplained then im gonna look real stupid

anyway time 2 go to the fuckshit ruins cave where r-dog and malak went to

"it must be referring to revan. the dark lord and malak--" revan's pronouns are revan/thedarklord

bastila said theres no mention of the Builders in the archives. does she just know every text off by heart

THIS DROID IS 20K YEARS OLD ???

omg i can equip 2 lightsabers at once. game of the year

OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THE AMNESIA BASTILA IS ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BACKGROUND THAT I CAN ANSWER. I REPEAT I DO NOT HAVE AMNESIA

ok i didnt get choices and i didnt really uh… say anything that i didnt already get told im still not ruling out amnesia

also booo i didnt get to find out how old i was

master tortimer rlly looks like the ultimate ketamine yoda

LMAO THERE WAS A DIALOGUE OPTION 2 CALL JUHANI A CATGIRL

omg kashyyk from jedi fallen order!!!

I CAN UPGRADE MY LIGHTSABER THIS IS JUST LIKE JFO

omg this ship is fun i wish everyone had personalised bunk spaces like hfw… a game which came out 19 years after this i should probably just take what we have

im gonna start w manaan cause im p sure thats what B-dog said n its the same language the droid was speakin

omg hyperspace from star wars

THE GUY THE BUILDING FELL ON???

am i having dreams abt revan bc bastila killed revan and im connected to her this is so roundabout

maybe i'd sleep better if my ponytail wasnt clipping into the pillow

[kiwi accent] six

carth needs a xanax every time i think we're friends he stops trusting me

also lmao he actually pointed out how wild it was that a day one padawan is being sent on this uber important mission and HES RIGHT IT IS WEIRD!! i thought it was main character logic but he's calling it out

i really really like the sense of unease that's setting in like at first i thought it was just cause im not used to 2003 games but no this is on purpose bc carth my friend carth keeps calling it out

THERE IS A CHILD ON MY SHIP ??????????????????

lmao the representative for menaan is roland wann. its like poetry it rhymes

there are no cameras in the sith hangar <3 rookie error i can commit crimes now

bastila's favourite hobby is getting shot and walking into my grenades

this isnt a combat system this is a missing system

I GOT ARRESTED???? IM JUST A GIRL

nvm i had a datapad that said the sith were evil so theyve let me go free and we're besties

why do i feel like ive just walked into an underwater horror mission

this suit waddles at the speed of a penguin on fentanyl

i tamed the beastie this is like how to train your dragon

MALAK FIRED ON REVAN?????? WERENT THEY BEST FRIENDS???????

but maybe revan escaped when bastila wasnt looking THEYRE FINE THEYRE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I BELIEVE

so hopefully when we run into revan they'll be like agh i changed my ways cause of the being shot thing and they'll be my bestie

great news i successfully communicated w the ship child and gave her back to dantooine. my girl has shockingly good linguisitics skills

bastila is so dour "oh watch out for the dark side" GIRL I AM. I NEED TO GET THE BEST GRADE IN GAME MORALITY

ok OFF TO KASHYYK i hope cal kestis is there… thru the force i guess… bc he wont be born for another 4000 years but its whatever

omg you'll never guess what. another vision. wow its one of the thangs. cool this is a tomorrow me problem

[selkie-on-land]

I always saw this quote ''trauma it's your fault but it's your responsibility to heal '' used to blame victims of male violence, especially in the militant/new generations. It goes usually with this bs ''if you don't work on healing you're just a an abuser and a predator exactly like men are ''. But it's the same rhetoric and literally same sentence that ''if you don't report/press charge on this abuser, you're just a an abuser and a predator exactly like men are. And if they abuse someone else, this on you not on them. '' and they usually goes hand in hand. Like every time I've seen someone said/wrote one, they always have already said the other one too. And it's always said in response to a woman testifying/open up on her abuse.

It goes hand in hands with this one too ''you're an abuser to share your abuse like that. You're literally traumatising and abusing everyone who is going to read you. You're not a feminist/victim you're just like any man. You should be ashamed of yourself and fix it before damaging every woman that you speak to. This is just trauma dumping and this is very wrong, this is an abuser tactic. ''

Until now, I was too emotional/triggered to think about that in an analysis process because I have a lot of cptsd from those types of response when I tried to talk about some of my abuse. And it deeply traumatized me to the point where I'm now unable to open up about any of my abuse except if the subject is already opened up. Even in therapy btw, because I'm deeply convinced that if I do I'm going to abuse my therapist.

To the point where I'm wondering if all three are not actually the same thing or part of the same thing. Maybe that thing has a name, but I can't find it. If you do, please, I would gladly know it!

I think that this is victim blaming but in a very specific manner, that seems to be different than the one usually spread, and maybe silencing victims voice but I don't know it feels like I'm missing something ? I thought about DARVO ? But darvo is used by an abuser on his victims not from an external source, right? Or maybe I don't know enough about it.

I received this type of comments/abuse from younger and my own generation (90s), never from an older one. And I mostly received this in space made for speaking out your abuse, like Call for testimonies for this or that violence, in every single ''feminist'' space ivl as irl.

Even now, here, I'm not comfortable with writing this down because I was always also assaulted when I was calling out this type of behaviour so it's very sensitive for me. It's been half an hour since I'm spiraling into anxiety to post or to delete everything. I know I shouldn't feel that way. I know that this is wrong. I'm wrong I know. But it's eating me from the inside. Why ? Why am I struggling like this, usually I don't, I don't even care of what people might think of what I wrote. But here I'm just freezing because I know, statically, it's absolutely certain that I'm going to be assaulted and abused if I click on the reblog button and I don't want to be assaulted or abused. So the only way to be sure I won't is to not post this. I hate myself for just such pity like I feel like I'm exactly what they refer to when they talk about victim personality that self pity etc. Oh fuck off Anna and post it anyway!

Edit : it lasted 4 hours. I had to put in private because I was (and still am) in a big anxiety attack and autistic meltdown due to the pressure and anxiety of waiting to see when the assault I'm waiting is going to happen. (Also waiting mode from my autism). I hope I will be able to let it that way and won't have to delete it. Also wish I could just let it be as all my other post. But obviously I'm too traumatized by women in ''feminist'' space for that.

crazy how trauma isn't your fault but it's your responsibility to heal.

[haziells]

my way

until it reaches the void state

(this will be a long post)

1. the end, the beginning.

I knew about the law of attraction years ago thanks to social media, so there it was, like every day trying to manifest my desires.

I was fed up, every day was the same.

My heart healing and breaking everyday, the same cycle of hope and hopelessness continues.

was it always going to be like this?

would I always have to let fears take over me?

I couldn't trust, I didn't believe that just by believing I could get what I wanted but at the same time I had no other option.

I couldn't go on like this, I didn't want to go on like this, I just wanted to end my life, I gave up and cried, cried, cried thinking that this would be the end, that I wouldn't be able to be happy and that was it.

I gave up and thought I was resigned to living a shitty life.

But I cried so much that all the sadness that was in me came out, all the fears that were clinging to me came out.

That's when I felt peace, when I realized that no, I wasn't going to give up that easily, that I first have to do it and do it well, not keep trying.

So I persisted for only 2 days, as I already had my desire for that moment and yes, after 2 days my 3D had already reflected it, it was exciting.

did i reallt do that? was it just a coincidence?

No, it was really me.

I was happy for a few days until the fears returned but this time I was afraid of losing my desire, that's when I realized that fears have no meaning.

I already have it, why would I lose it?

2. I discovered Tumblr and the void state.

I didn't know what void state was, but as soon as I read about it, it caught my attention.

By then my self-concept had improved, I was still dealing with my fears but not as much as before.

So, I made a friend who explained to me more about the void state and she told me that she manifested her house through the void state.

I got excited and hopeful, I read some methods on how to get in and tried to do it, but I couldn't.

I couldn't do it, the simple idea of getting everything so easily sounded easy and fantastical to me.

But one day I realized who I really am, that I am everything, that nothing and no one has power outside of me.

I was filled with satisfaction, joy, peace, I felt like laughing knowing who I am and how easy everything is.

How did I first enter the void state?

so I had a subliminal audio playing in the background while I was meditating.

I thought...I am so powerful, I am capable of anything, I can have whatever I want whenever I want.

At that time I was very sleepy because I had taken some exams, so I just thought "my physical body is going to sleep and rest and I'm going to the void state"

After all, the void state is me and there is nothing easier than being me.

And so it happened, I entered the void state and knew that I already had everything just as I wanted, then I came out and continued sleeping while I didn't stop smiling and feeling a sensation of peace and extreme happiness.

I woke up and stood calmly until I realized what had happened...

I was scared shitless when I realized that I had entered the void state for real and that at that moment I should have everything I wanted and that was when 3d reality disappeared before my eyes.

Everything began to collapse and I felt a huge current of energy running through my entire body, as if it were a waterfall flowing inside me.

I was very scared, I won't deny it, but after all I did it.

(I swear that just as you see in the gif, that's how I felt at that moment)

The following days I couldn't stop shaking and feeling scared because I didn't understand how it was possible that 3D could disappear just like that.

Then I read someone here talking about non-dualism. @lotusmi

Then I understood my experience.

Since that day everything is much easier for me.

I have entered the void state 3 times.

that manifests?

.cure my depression.

.cure my anxiety.

.trust myself.

.longer eyelashes.

.my desired person in love with me.

.money.

.be able to manifest easily.

.prettiest voice.

.I am spoiled.

The rest of the things I manifest are more private.

But basically for me this is the best thing that could have happened to me.

I will mention who were the bloggers that I read to understand more about the void state and about who I really am.

@gorgeouslypink

@lotusmi

@beesfairlyland

@msperfect777

I will also mention a blogger whose information I also like and I find it cute.

@sugarplumfairy777

If you want to know more, you can send me a direct message, no problem.

[once-in-a-blue-moon-rising]

Seen a few 'maturity is realising that it's not a look of love' videos on Instagram re: 457, and while I do realise it is Not That Deep, I nonetheless have THOUGHTS

The crux of those thoughts is this: has fandom's view of shipping narrowed so far that unless two characters are mashing their faces together on-screen, it's immature to interpret the text contrary to what we assume the creator's intention was?

With this ship specifically, let's start with the obvious: the actors have insane chemistry. This is true whether you see the characters' bond as platonic, romantic, antagonistic, or something else. They are very obviously comfortable and friendly with one another in real life, and this translates into an intense on-screen relationship between Gi-hun and In-ho (and I'm sure this is exactly what the director did want, because, newsflash, this is our protagonist/antagonist duo).

I do think it's valid to ship something based purely off the actors' chemistry, but the comment is obviously referring to the characters themselves in the context of the story, so let's address that too.

There's a clear motivation for the way In-ho stares at Gi-hun, follows him around, and generally tries to insert himself into his life, and this is what these posts are referring to. He's testing his ideology, he's watching how he's affected by the horrific things that are happening around him, and to help him do this, he's ensuring that Gi-hun trusts and likes him. It's important if he wants to prove to him that the world is unchangeable, and humanity irredeemable.

And because of that, it's not the 'look of love'. Case closed?

Well, no.

Because there is so much nuance and depth that you're failing to explore, if a look can only mean one thing.

Because why does In-ho bother? Why is Gi-hun worth his time and interest? In-ho - via the games - has access to resources that far far outweigh the money Gi-hun won. He could prevent him from finding the island forever. He could just have him shot tbh. He's not really a credible threat - at most, he's a minor annoyance, because people need to be paid off every so often to prevent him getting too close.

Just through this detail, we can deduce that In-ho cares, in some way. He is interested enough to want to change Gi-hun's mind, when it would be so much easier to... not. Is it love? It's certainly fascination. And I don't think it can be argued that he brought him back for the VIPs' entertainment and not his own, because Gi-hun was searching for three years before In-ho let himself be found. And even when he's found, it's Gi-hun who suggests going back into the games.

So these stares - yes, he's testing him, but he's doing it because he wants to. They denote genuine interest. How did this guy retain his hope and faith in humanity? How can I prove to him that my view is correct?

And I'm very much not saying that a romantic interpretation is 'correct', because fiction should be interpreted however the audience sees fit, but what is love (in all its forms) if not wanting to know someone and be known by them?

This is even more compelling to me when we take into account In-ho's backstory, which we learn a bit more about in season 2. Because he and Gi-hun are so similar, except in the way they've used their trauma to interpret the world. Which just adds to the evidence that In-ho would be fascinated by this man, be determined to know him and to change his mind.

What I'm saying with all this isn't that 457 is canon, and that anyone who says otherwise is media illiterate. What I'm saying is that the real immature interpretation is one that's surface level, be that interpretation 'uwu he loves him' or 'he's PLOTTING evil things'.

[saetiate]

cora! this event is such a cute idea :’) humbly requesting temperance with rin itoshi please. gn reader is fine!

itoshi rin x reader (gender neutral), wound-tending, fluff wc: 0.5k ❥ valentines event (requests still open!), co-written with @venustrvck a/n: AAAH i feel so nervous u r the first req i'm posting :')) THANK YOU SM for participating friend !!!

There's blood. More blood than he thought, down his face, down the sink. It trickles down the curve of white porcelain and coalesces at the bottom; rivers of blood conjoining into a lake.

There's a knock at the door. "Rin."

He ignores it. Who would want their partner to see them like this? Bleeding out his nose and his cheek. Weak, Sae would say. Lukewarm.

"If you don't open this door," the white lacquered wood separates you, a barrier he's put up on purpose, muffling your voice. "I'm going to break the door down."

Rin snorts. Like that's about to happen. He draws a stinging line down his cheek as he slides an alcohol-soaked cotton across the cut.

"You think I can't do it? Haven't you seen those videos where babies get stuck under cars and the mothers lift the car?"

The door swings open, his long arm catching it at the edge. Rin's hair is in his face, bangs clinging to his forehead with sweat. He's giving you the worst side-eye, bright blue shining in slits from behind his strands under the unforgiving bathroom light. "I'm not your baby."

You step into his space, too close for his comfort, not close enough for his needs. Let yourself into this part of him that he's been trying to hide from you. "You might as well be."

Rin busies himself with his reflection, making every attempt to ignore you, ignore the unfurling shame in his gut, despite your concerned face creeping through his side-view.

"How bad is it?"

Rin doesn't answer. You cup the uncut side of his face with one hand.

"I'm here for you. You can show me."

Warm hands enclose his own as you gingerly grasp the cotton pad; you take it away with gentle fingers. He doesn't turn. He doesn't look at you. Your voice turns into something gentle. "Let me do this for you."

He wants to hide. Wants to run away. That furrowed space between your brows is the last thing he wants to see. He can't do either of those things, so he closes his eyes.

And then all he knows is your warmth, your body pressed against his. There's the sound of shuffling, and a new, cool alcohol-dipped cotton ball is pressed to his cheek. He wants to hiss at the contact, but he bites the inside of his cheek instead. He's shown enough weakness to you today.

"It's okay, Rin." You say it almost knowingly, your hand moves to the back of his neck, bringing him down so you can better reach. "There's nothing wrong with letting someone else take care of you."

You think he mumbles your name.

"It's me, isn't it?" You're so close to him that your nose brushes against his. The cotton pad moves down over the abrasion on his jaw, clearing away the grime and leaving rough, red skin in its wake.

"It's just me, so you can show me if it hurts. No one else has to know."

It's like a cleansing of sorts, his body relaxing against the counter, leaning his face into your hands. A cleansing from the situation, from all the times he wasn't able to say what he needed. Don't you know that there are those who would take without remorse, what you give to him so freely?

This time, when you press against his wound, his hand tightens where it holds your waist.

[atthebell]

one last thing before i mute notifs on this post forever: these issues are obviously just as present when it comes to depictions of trans women in fandom. constantly pigeonholing every trans woman, canonical or fanonical, as a domme or a top, making every trans woman extremely sexually aggressive, and vice versa (making every dommy or aggro character a trans woman 'because it just fits so well'), insisting that transfemme characters must be some stereotype rather than dynamic and varied people; all of these are part of this gender essentialist plague in fandom and in online spaces generally.

and even aside from that, it's very clear to me that a lot of people on this website use transfemme headcanons as a way to deflect criticism or to pretend like their engagement with a story is unimpeachable or just in bizarre attempts at actually giving a shit about female characters but in point of fact all they do is treat women, and specifically trans women in this instance, like personality-less dolls they can insert into scenarios. rarely do i see people actually examining what about a character makes them connect with ideas of transness, let alone specifically transfemininity. having a half-baked headcanon about some canonically male character being a trans woman does not make you immune to perpetuating misogyny, and i want to direct that especially towards other transmascs. you are just as capable as anyone at being sexist morons. please knock it off with this transmisogynistic bullshit.

i'm focusing here on sexual stereotypes because that's where i see some of the worst perpetrators of this stuff and what i was talking about in the original post in large part, but by no means does that mean it's absent elsewhere nor that horny spaces are evil by nature in some way. anyone is capable of this stupid shit, it's just very obvious that you don't actually care about trans women when all you do is objectify them.

and like always the issue is not this happening one time or with one character. the issue is that this is a pattern, both with people on an individual level but more importantly across fandom spaces. it comes up over and over again and makes it very clear that no matter how progressive fandom spaces make themselves out to be, there is a lot of work to be done on these fronts.

there is nothing inherently wrong with trans headcanons, obviously. but increasingly in the last several years ive seen them used to uphold hegemonic ideas about gender and race and sexuality and im extremely tired of it. recognize the diverse and broad experiences of other people and stop poisoning your own brains with repackaged conservatism.

i'm so tired of the yaoi-ification of mlm ships where people feel the need to make one of them (usually the fandom-assigned bottom) into a teeny tiny waifish twink and the other into a huge musclebound super aggro guy (usually the fandom-assigned top) i know this is like a thing many people have been saying for years but i just feel like it has never actually gotten better in fandom spaces. the fatphobia of it, the gender essentialism, the homophobia, it's all so fucking annoying it makes me want to scream

[bedfordxcx]

Keep it cool. | Spencer Reid

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Pairing: Post prison!Spencer Reid x Fem!Loser!Reader (I did try to make it as gender neutral as possible but I do believe some Fem slipped through the cracks.)

Synopsis: In which Loser!Reader works a case with the team, including a specific Doctor you're almost creepily in love with.

Word count: Around 2.2k

Warnings: Reader knows far too much about Spencer, mentions of death and crime scenes, I think that's it!

A/N: Introducing Loser!Reader, yippee! Although, there's not alot of the loser vibes in this (I do have a vision for the future though, comics hint hint.) Might make a vision board for you guys to see where I'm going.

⛧· ·⛧· · ───────⛧· ·☽◯☾· ·⛧─────── · ·⛧· ·⛧

Joining the BAU is terrifying.

But for you, it isn’t the crime scenes or even the murderers. You’ve been an introvert your entire life, the sort of person who spends more time in fictional worlds than the real one. Friends? None. Social skills? Practically nonexistent. A loser in every way that counts. The very idea of interrogating suspects, chatting with local officers, or presenting your theories in front of a room full of people makes you want to curl up under your desk and pretend none of it exists.

So why do you stay?

For him.

Spencer Reid, the man who occupies every corner of your mind and whose name is scrawled obsessively across your journals. One look at him on your first day—gangly frame, untamed hair, lips that always look half a second away from darting into a fact-filled ramble—and you’re doomed. Completely and utterly bewitched.

Even the way he refuses your handshake that first day, with an explanation about pathogens, leaves you spellbound. It isn’t normal, but then again, neither are you. From that moment on, you find yourself obsessed.

You’re beyond gone.

When Spencer is sick, you swear you can feel the congestion in your own chest. When he takes time off to visit his mother, you stare at his empty desk, imagining his hands rifling through files, the ghost of his pen against paper.

Every moment revolves around him. You don’t just daydream about him; you study him. You memorize his mannerisms, his voice, the way he moves. It isn’t healthy—not by a long shot—but the more you try to pull yourself away, the more tightly you cling to the idea of him.

Now, as Hotch drones on about the case, his voice is just background noise. It isn’t important. Not compared to the gentle, rhythmic breathing coming from Spencer.

And then it happens.

The all-too-familiar snapping of fingers in front of your face, followed by Emily’s teasing voice. “Hello? Earth to Agent Daydreamer?”

Stupid Emily. Always ruining your (non-existent) moments with Spencer.

You blink slowly, your gaze drifting toward Emily as you come to.

“Hm, what?”

You clear your throat awkwardly and look down at the table, avoiding her eyes.

“I... I was listening, definitely.”

You glance at Spencer, making sure to memorize the highlights of his face, the way the button of his nose sits a bit brighter than the rest of his features. You’ll definitely write about that in your journal later.

Before blinking away and staring down at the file in front of you on the table, though your cheeks are flushed from lying.

“And—I—I asked you to stop calling me Daydreamer...”

“Uh huh.”

Emily’s lips tug into a knowing smirk. There’s something almost cruel in the way she looks you over, like she knows, but you quickly shake the thought out of your head.

Get it together.

Just then, Hotch’s voice disrupts the teasing (thank god). “Wheels up in five.” You’re not surprised the team was called in to take this case. Three women, all with dark hair and petite frames strangled to death with no solid evidence linking the cases aside from the MO.

Emily nudges your shoulder. “Ready?"

⛧· ·⛧· · ───────⛧· ·☽◯☾· ·⛧─────── · ·⛧· ·⛧

The trip is uneventful at first. Hotch briefs you on the plane, and you do your best to listen with Emily’s teasing glances and Spencer’s fidgeting hands in view. You jot down notes about the case, but most of your attention is directed toward the man across the aisle. He’s wearing a sweater-vest today, the fabric accentuating the lines of his body.

You start to wonder what it would be like to feel his frame under your hands, to trace the curve of his waist, to kiss your way up to his Adam’s apple.

Your stomach flutters as you watch him. Is it too much? Do your stares linger a little too long? Do you look like a creep when you spend hours daydreaming about the feel of his hair or his skin?

Yes, you think, you certainly do.

But you can’t stop. Not when he’s there, right in front of you, so close and yet so far away.

He looks up, glancing around as if he feels your eyes on him, and you turn quickly back to your notebook, pretending to take notes.

“Where do you think he gets his coffee?”

Emily pulls you from your thoughts, the rest of the team still discussing the case in the background. The plane is dimly lit, the soft hum of the engines creating a soothing white noise. You’ve been staring out the window, eyes locked on the setting sun while your mind worked overtime, imagining all the ways you could make Spencer love you.

JJ arches a brow. “Who?”

“Reid, idiot.”

“Oh! The, uh... the café two blocks away from Quantico—they sell coffee beans for home use as well as the, well, drinks the baristas make..." You mumble, not realizing it might be a little weird that you know such specific details about him.

Why does Spencer drink his coffee black? Is it for the taste, or is it because it keeps him sharp? Maybe it’s routine. Maybe it’s just his preference. Either way, you have that fact on a page in your journal, labelled "What Spencer Likes."

JJ laughs softly. “You think you know him that well, huh?”

But Emily just nods, eyes narrowing thoughtfully. “You know, I could see it. And I bet he has a little home espresso machine, too.” She smirks, glancing over to Spencer as he continues to talk, his hands flying as his tone grows more and more passionate.

“You know how he likes his coffee?” Derek’s smile is wide, and you can see the accusations forming in his mind.

“You’re drooling, sweetheart,” Emily teases, her voice a low whisper.

You pout. “Am not.”

But despite your denial, you raise a hand to your lips to check for drool anyway.

But you aren’t drooling. No, you’re so far gone that just staring at him lights up the pleasure centers in your brain. You have pages upon pages of notes just like this, detailing Spencer’s preferences and likes from the way he takes his coffee down to what you think is his favorite color (you haven’t confirmed, you are just that good at picking up on subtleties like his tie choices and such). But your lips might as well start to water, because now you’re imagining him pulling you in close, whispering all your favorite facts into your ear.

Does he ever whisper secrets to anyone? Is he the type to fall asleep talking about his passions? These were the thoughts you had before bed the night before this case, and you couldn’t help but imagine yourself in bed with Spencer, both of your bodies tangled together as he whispered to you, lips brushing the hollow behind your ear. Would he ask how your day was? Would he press kisses onto your skin, and tell you about one of the many facts he has stored away?

These thoughts are getting out of hand.

You don’t even notice the conversation has ceased until you look up and see everyone with their eyes on you.

Oh. They’d asked a question.

It wouldn’t be out of character for you to space out like this. You’re notorious for it. But still—it’s a bad habit, one you’ve tried to kick since your undergrad.

Spencer’s brow furrows ever so slightly as Hotch speaks. “So what do you think?”

“Well, from what you were reading in the file,” Hotch presses, waiting expectantly.

Is it a good answer? A bad answer? Are you supposed to respond? “Uh... what?”

A voice pipes up. Emily.

“Maybe it’s his first time out. Just a thought,” her voice is casual, but there’s an edge to it.

The rest of the plane ride is uneventful. Spencer spends most of his time reading, his lips moving as if reciting the words under his breath. You’d do anything to be that book. You bet it smells like him.

When the plane touches down, it’s already late afternoon, and the local precinct is eager for your help.

⛧· ·⛧· · ───────⛧· ·☽◯☾· ·⛧─────── · ·⛧· ·⛧

The first victim’s house still smells of death.

You keep your face behind your collar as the M.E. walks you and Emily through the house, describing the scene with a level of morbid detail that makes you question your career choice. Spencer follows, his eyes scanning every corner, his lips moving in quiet conversation. It might be your imagination, but he seems closer than usual, his arm brushing against yours as he leans in to whisper something about the blood pattern.

Stay calm. You’re on a case. People are dead. Focus.

After the scene tour, the team splits up. Hotch and Prentiss go to the station, Rossi and Morgan check into hotel rooms, leaving you alone with Reid.

Alone. With Reid.

Emily flashes you a wicked grin before heading out, and you make a mental note to smother her in her sleep. How dare she leave you alone with Reid and look that smug?? Just to make it worse, she winks. Ugh.

Spencer glances at you. "I don't know about you, but I always work better with caffeine in me."

⛧· ·⛧· · ───────⛧· ·☽◯☾· ·⛧─────── · ·⛧· ·⛧

The local coffee shop is relatively empty—just you and Spencer, the coffee machines hissing and gurgling in the background. You sit at a small table, a file open between the two of you, as Reid leans forward, fingers tracing the line of text.

“See the marks on her neck here,” he says, gesturing to the grisly photos. “That’s consistent with a rope or cord of some sort. But look at the angles. The depth.”

His finger travels up and across the photo, drawing your eye to the bruises.

“It’s not just strangulation.”

“It’s an odd pattern, though.” His voice has that familiar excitement to it, the kind that comes with unraveling a mystery. “It could indicate a signature, something personal to the killer. We should look into that more.”

Is his voice always this smooth? Are his lips always this pink? You’ve never seen him this closely before, at least not sober and awake.

Your gaze roams over his face, noting the way his tongue dips out to wet his bottom lip, the creases at the corners of his eyes.

Focus, focus, focus.

“And we could then link all of the victims together then.”

“Exactly!” He flashes you a grin, a real one this time, all teeth and crinkled eyes. It’s so damn cute you can barely breathe.

“Maybe he’s got a type, you know. A certain look, height—”

You can’t help but imagine Spencer pressed against your body, his breath on your neck, the rough stubble of his jaw dragging across your skin as he plants those damn perfect lips right behind your ear.

The warmth in his voice makes your stomach clench. You’re so close. If you leaned just a little bit forward, you could be kissing him. What’d he do? Would he pull back? Would he grab you and push you against the coffee counter? Would he pull your hair and bite your lips and whisper facts about how hot he thinks you are?

You can be a type.

“Mmhmm, a specific look, maybe... he wants revenge on someone who looks that way? And he’s working his way towards her. An endgame.”

The tension is almost palpable. You shift in your seat, trying to keep the air cool, to not let on how much you want him.

Spencer’s lips part slightly as he speaks, his tongue darting out to wet them. You can’t help but wonder if he tastes as good as he looks, like coffee and sugar and that je ne sais quoi that makes him… him.

You’re staring at him. You know you are. You shouldn’t be, but your eyes keep flitting between his lips, his hands, his eyes—you haven’t looked down at the file in what feels like forever.

You probably look like a creep, but you can’t help it. Every movement of his, every shift in his voice, sends a wave of warmth through your body. Maybe it’s obsession, maybe it’s hormones talking.

“The victimology might hold some clues,” he says.

“...probably, it usually does.”

“Right.”

Spencer licks his lips, his gaze lingering on the files scattered in front of you. He runs a hand through his hair, a habit you’ve noted when he’s deep in thought. If you had it your way, you’d have your fingers knotted in his hair, pulling him close as you kiss the curve of his jaw…

But for now, you’re here, in the coffee shop, trying to untangle your feelings for Spencer from the case at hand.

The smell of coffee and the hum of the evening news serve as a backdrop to your internal struggle.

Keep it cool. Keep it cool. Keep it cool.

[liekjevenderheurn]

We don't shift to another reality after entering the void (unless intended for reality shifting ofc)

This is my personal belief, I am open for discussion in the comment section and in my dms, but stay respectful pls🥺

Now let me explain my reason for thinking this.

Now unless these void posts are all fake successes, I think going to the void does not necessarily bring you to a new reality since I have been following people on here and after some time, some of them said they reached the void (how can I read this if they are in a different reality?).

Besides this, I think that the void is the ultimate source of everything. Therefore it is also the source between all realities and you can just manifest things for your current one. YOU ARE THE BOSS. You get to decide everything, including in which reality what happens.

(These were my main points incase you do not have time to read the whole thing)

Like in one of my other posts, I have experienced people manifesting for me or even that I would text them. That this worked for them on me honestly blowed my mind, but there was also this account that I followed with this post. Now I saw she asked for this, someone gave her the sigil, the manifestation worked and we were still in the same reality for me to see that it worked.

I know some people believe we shift every second when we make a choice, but my quantum physics of high school explained it was not really about us humans making different choices but the molecule parts acting randomly (which could create different realities but this is ofc impossible to prove). Besides this, like if I want ice cream I always take the lemon flavor over the chocolate because I like it more, your choices are based on who you are and your past experiences. Choices that you make do not have a 50-50% chance.

Looking at things Ive learned from being in the shifting community, unless you succesfuly permashift, you will go back to what they call your cr (current reality). I believe you go back there because you still have some attachments to it, this is also a reason why I think for the most time you stay in the same reality.

Anyway, it is really difficult to prove anything so take this with a grain of salt, this is just my perspective :P.

PS: this is also a reason why I believe that the void state pact could work and is not limited by shifting

Have a great day❤️

Small update on 23-01-2025:

I made this post after being called thoughtless again for my pact idea. Now I wanted to show people my perspective and why I thought the shifting realities is not the thing that happens when you manifest (actually, I really just wanted to prove that I am not unbelievably stupid and thoughtless hahaha). I have my reasons which I am trying to explain in my posts and it is alright if you still hold on to your belief, but there is no need to attack anyone for having another one.

Now besides the comment section, a few of my friends dm'ed me with some new perspectives which I thought were beautiful:

This was based on research on beliefs in the older days.

There are many spiritualists on youtube who talk about this, everything and everyone being one.

This was based on Neville Goddard and other Neville Goddard succcess stories.

A lot of you have seen also the posts of where the creator does believe in shifting your reality. There are many different opinions on reality which are hard to prove, yet a lot of them are valid. Again, I'm just sharing my perspective, you get to decide what you believe:)

[earlycuntsets]

those on tumblr that fwm in anyway!

I have not checked my notifications in a week. so sorry to anyone I haven't gotten back to.

i'm leaving. happy 1000 followers to me!!! lol but I might come back in some capacity but not rn. just until personal stuff has been handled. maybe once a week. i've got a lot of post ideas so i'll come on here if I find anything really good. but I have a bad history with social media consuming my brain.

this tumblr has been fully added to earlycuntsets.org and posts will continue from there, but I am not gonna be on here very much.

i've gone through some mental stuff interacting on here. I have a substance issue rn that i've been trying to get ahold on since september. my full statement is on earlycuntsets.org

I felt so broken up really. this thing mcr that we all love so intensely.

I don't want to see that get ruined for me. the negative connotations with my account because I flipped out on mcr archive people. talking about that will get me nowhere because no one understands my side. about 4 people on here understand my side.

and for the first time yesterday, I considered apologizing. just to ease my own pain around this. you want to know the truth?

I wanted to work with them obviously. I wanted to do what they do is that clear enough?

it was hard for me not to be aggressive when you be me. from the start they just wouldn't respond to me. I would find cool stuff and send it to them. I just thought they'd be more accessible to fans.

and then the only time I have heard from them was for them to judge my website when I spend every extra moment i'm not at work on this one thing. this one thing that is my only expression of love to mcr.

AND SO I gotta get out of the social aspect. it's making me overthink my every move.

I am going to be spending less time on here and more time on my website.

I have moved this whole blog to my website and just updated 840 posts to have links/tags/titles that function. I need to figure out a few things but I won't rest until it's easy to navigate. and perfect. lol there are dead pics and video on the blog section. there are pages of posts that don't have preview images. the site overall is undercuntstruction.

I was actually looking at hulus set up with the "carousel" things for each category. I am having fun and i'll probably make an mcr netflix idk. big grandiose bipolar dreams. that I hope to see through.

my website will be like this (2002 is the only one done rn) so the layout now is:

the google drive part

the 2002 blog part (everything from here)

the sources and links

[spoilerssweetie13]

Hi, I've been meaning to reply to this. I just haven’t found the time to sit down and write a whole essay, hehehe. I'll start off by saying I definitely get where you're coming from, but here's just my two cents on everything:

The Doctor has, at one point, been President of Gallifrey, and given how Time Lords are, I don't they would allow someone "less clever" than them to lead them. The Timeless Child isn't supposed to make the Doctor special. If anything, it makes them a victim of abuse dissected like lab rat by their own adoptive mother over who knows how lifetimes. The Timeless Child does not negate their choices. Instead, I feel adds to them. They are alien even to this universe but chose to save it time and time again. In a sense, if they hadn't been kidnapped the DW universe would have died a billion times over, isn't that beautifully fucked up in its own way?

Davros once asked Twelfth why he ran from Gallifrey, and under this new context of the Timeless Child, you realize, "Oh shit that's what he was running from." That's what they are all always running from. I also saw another post on here that said that the Time Lords "granted" Eleventh more regenerations to cover their own tracks, and that makes so much sense. The Time Lords don't do anything unless it benefits them. When you see the whole show under the lens of Timeless Child, all the pieces start to fall into place. It's definitely a different viewing experience. It becomes so much darker, and I think that's part of the appeal of the Timeless Child for me.

The Doctor did always feel like the adopted child of the family; Timeless Child just confirms it. But they will always be the Doctor, because the Doctor is the name that they chose for themselves, their empathy and and love for humanity has nothing to do with where they come from, and that was true even when we thought they were from Gallifrey. It's all about their choices, and they will always choose to be the Doctor sorting out fair play throughout the universe, no matter their origins.

Ever since I watched the Fugitive Doctor episode, every time someone new would pop up on screen, I would go is he the Doctor, is she the Doctor, [ominously whispers] are we all the Doctor? (Joking, but seriously, the paranoia did set in!) To me, Timeless Child isn't taking the Everyman-ness or Everywoman-ness away but adds to it by saying literally anyone and everyone can be the Doctor. You don't have to be born on Gallifrey to be the Doctor; hell, you don't even have to be from the DW universe, so we could all very well be the Doctor, lol.

Extended lore says Time Lords used Looms to procreate so I don't know why the Doctor wouldn't know who the Susan's parents are, unless it hasn't happened yet because of timey-wimey stuff [shrugs] probably will never happen now because of the retcon. :( Marrying a werewolf is crazy but it's the Doctor, so I'm not even surprised.

It's funny that I don't like the Bi-genration for the same reason that you do like it. That it's a one-off and will never happen again. To me, it feels too convenient compared to the Timeless Child. Love it, hate it, want to purge it from your memory, the Timeless Child will always be a part of the show's history, it's essentially a infinite money glitch, a way for the show to go on forever. See, what really gets me is that Fourteenth will just drop dead at one point, and Fifteenth will just get all his memories and be like, "I'm healed now." That feels too convenient. To me, that's messing with the established rules just as much as Timeless Child. If we're talking about closure Fourteenth and Donna should've gone back to The Library and Fourteenth should've used his "resemblance" to Tenth to his advantage to confuse the Vashta Nerada and somehow save River without time collapsing in on itself (but that's just the Doctor/River shipper in me speaking). To me, Donna just getting her memories was closure enough.

RTD said he didn't want to make a mockery of drag by putting David Tennant in Jodie's Whittaker outfit. Mind you, her outfit was specially designed so anyone can wear it. What's so feminine about trousers, a shirt and a coat? It seems to me that it was just done in bad faith.

Bigeneration is just as lore-changing as the Timeless Child. And yet no one shits on it because their precious RTD wrote it. If Chibnall did something like this, y'all would have your pitchforks at the ready. The double standards in this fandom, I swear. RTD is allowed to retcon Doctor Who, but heavens forbid Chibnall even try.

The Doctor is no longer even a parent because of him. David Tennant is a good actor, but I'm tired of people pretending like he's the face of Doctor Who. The whole point of the show is that the Doctor has different faces, and we should love them all—not regress backwards.

We deserved to see the Fourteenth Doctor in Thirteenth's clothes, and not for everything she is to burn up and die. The Fifteenth Doctor deserved his own regeneration scene like every other Doctor, without Fourteenth randomly sticking around because of RTD's inability to let go of the characters he wrote.

At least the Timeless Child added something more to the Doctor's story. Bigeneration took something away: the emotional impact of the Doctor's regeneration - having to say goodbye.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

If you're looking for threesome requests, my personal favorite is Blood Orange (Raph and Mikey). I don't need anything too crazy (I'm honestly as vanilla as they come 😅) but maybe it's the two of them and the reader's first time together? They're still figuring things out a little, and Raph and Mikey need to come to an understanding on how to go about things, and it ends up being very sweet, passionate and ultimately a success. I hope this is okay. Let me know, and thank you so much!

Blood Orange (18+)

Fortnite!Raphael x reader x Fortnite!Michelangelo

A/N: I’m not that vanilla myself, but I’ve decided to cut back just a little, before any full on action is about to happen, keeping it very implied (and maybe because I got a little tired but still had an urge to get this posted today😂💚). It doesn’t go into detail about their first time together, but it does set the stage for how a threesome would come about, and I hope that’s okay❤️🧡

All characters are aged up.

Warnings: Fwb relations, implied smut, almost fingering, turtley anatomy, implied threesome.

You had tried plenty of things in your life. Many exciting things that some people could only dream of. Though you might not consider them exciting or as extreme as some people might see it, but you did enjoy it. You had enjoyed all of it. But there was still one thing that you really wanted to try. A thing you had only been able to dream of. A fantasy that had been making its way through your thoughts, over and over for quite some time now. And now, as you sat between Raphael and Michelangelo on the couch, watching a show that they had decided on, your little fantasy made its way back into focus, causing your heart to quicken a bit. And what was that little fantasy of yours? A threesome. Not just any threesome, but a threesome with you, and the two mutant turtles you sat between. And to be quite honest, that fantasy had been getting you in the mood like no other. Especially when you knew exactly what the two brothers were capable of.

For several weeks now, you had had a friends with benefits relationship with not just Raphael but Michelangelo as well. However, neither of them seemed to know about the other. None of them knew that just moments after you had been sucking Raph off in his bedroom, you would just skip across the hall to Mikey’s room, where he would eat you out in his own room. And in all brutal honesty. You loved it. It was probably one of the best things you had ever gotten yourself into. Some days it had gotten more freaky than others, with you having been fucked thuroly by one of the brothers, before you made your way to the other brother to experience the whole thing all over again.

You have had both Raph and Mikey, several times, even within hours of each other. So of course, the natural thing to be wanting next, was to have both of them at the same time. And of course, as you sat there, squished between the two men that have been pounding you to heaven and back, you couldn’t help but wonder if you should do something about it. That this was the day that you would cause your fantasy to become real.

With a lip bite you shifted your attention between the two mutants, wondering which one would be the first to make a move on you. Normally, it wouldn’t take long before one of them would cough, or do something before mumbling something about going to their room, as a sign for you to follow when the coast was clear, and all suspicion was off. So now you sat there, excitingly waiting for any of them to do something. Both Mikey and Raph sat with their eyes glued to the show, playing on the screen before you. They would only move once in a while, in an attempt to get more comfortable on the couch. At every move, you found yourself hoping, getting excited at the thought of what might happen next. So you could not help but feel a little disappointed when they were only scratching their chin, or just moving one leg over the other. It was almost getting to the point of infuriating. But then, something happened, sending shivers of joy through your body.

Raph had moved a hand to his chin, giving it a few scratches, before letting it fall back down. But instead of returning to a rest in Raph lap, just like it had done moments before, it now came to rest on your thigh, giving it a small squish, before letting his thumb rub against your clothes. It was impossible for you to not bite the inside of your lip.

Just as you started to focus on the feeling of Raph’s hand on your thigh, you felt Mikey’s hand carefully nudge yours onto his lap, with his hand slowly guiding it to where he wanted it, getting closer and closer to his cloaca. You sucked in a silent breath, noticing how both brothers were still staring at the television, not noticing what the other was doing. It was thrilling, as you felt your lower region beginning to puls with excitement. Raph’s hand moved closer to your pulsing center, as your little finger made contact with Mikey’s needy cloaca. You swallowed a moan, but you could not hide your heavy sigh. That caused Raph to chuckle, and Mikey to crack a small smile.

“And here I thought she would be a harder nut to crack”, he chuckled, finally looking your way, with his hand squishing your thigh once more. This time you could not hide your moan, too shocked to even try.

“Really?”, Mikey asked, slowly moving your hand over his cloaca, smirking as you saw your flustered and confused expression. “I honestly expected her to crack a lot sooner. You know how she gets when she has first put her mind to something”.

“What are you talking about?”, you asked, feeling your heart beating faster and your breath getting heavier.

“Did you seriously not expect us to know?”, Raph chuckled with a smug smile, leaning in closer to your face, his hand moving to cup your heat, while Mikey’s member slowly came out to let your fingers grace against it. “We’re mutant turtles babe, we can smell it on you”.

“What?”, you asked, suddenly feeling very mortified, freezing in your seat.

The two brothers started laughing, before moving closer against you.

“I don’t think she knows, Mikey”, Raph said, rubbing his hand over your center. “I don’t think she knows that we can smell when she gets aroused, or when she has been with any of us”.

“You can what?!”, you asked, turning from one to the other, your eyes wide, as the revelation of Raph’s words started sinking in. They knew, and they had always known.

“What Raph just told you”, Mikey smiled, using your hand to stimulate his cloaca, letting his head fall back against the headrest of the couch, looking at you with dreamy yet mischievous eyes. “I don’t think you realize how much fun we’ve had with it”.

“Fun?”, you asked, feeling Raph’s fingers sneak towards the hem of your bottoms.

“Yeah, fun”, Raph smirked, slowly moving below you underwear, as his fingers sneaked their way down. “It’s almost a game to see who can make you cum the quickest, or if we can beat your highest amount of orgasms in one day”.

“Why do you think we both want you on the same day, just right after each other? We know just how to overstimulate you”, Mikey said.

“But tonight”, Raph said, making his way past your mount, with one finger gracing your slick folds, causing you to shutter, wishing that he would press down, right where you needed him and Mikey the most. “We thought it would be best to see if we could do it all, together, right here, on the couch”.

“How does that sound?”, Mikey asked, his voice already sounding airy.

You did not hesitate, pressing your fingers against Mikey’s cloaca, causing his member to slowly slip out, his head peeking into the palm of your hand, while you lifted your hips just a little, chasing Raph’s fingers.

“I say, bring all you got”, you smiled, feeling delighted that your fantasy was finally becoming a reality.

[sheeezu]

I’ve been trying to shift for the past five years. I love shifting and it’s honestly the one thing that kept me going all this time and gave me hope and it just felt right. Everytime I would feel demotivated I would change my mindset, think positively, and try again. Or I would take breaks and then try again. I have tried every method and then realized I didn’t like methods so I tried no methods and just intention which I liked but then the cycle would repeat after trying for so long and not shifting at all. I’ve had moments where I’ve felt myself shifting but never got further than that or actually fully woke up in my dr or wr. I’m a stubborn person and never wanted to give up on shifting because I know I can do it and I know I deserve it and it is what my soul wants. But lately I’m so burnt out with my cr life which never gives me a break and with trying to shift to the point where I’m thinking of giving it up even though I don’t want to and it’s been the one thing giving me hope. I’ve even tried not to try to shift and just go with the flow and simply affirmed but I still wake up here. I know a lot of other shifters feel the same way as me who have been trying for years. But I’ve reached this unfortunate point where I have lost a bit of faith and am too tired to try anymore even though it’s everything I want. It’s like I see it dangling in my face and see other people get it easily and I know I can have it too but I can never reach it and now it’s too exhausting. But it’s like even if I took another break, the cycle will just repeat like it has been. And trust me I’ve read everything and tried changing my mindset and thought positively and have had hope and know I can shift. I know this seems like I’m just ranting and having the most negative mindset so you’re like well of course this is why you’re not shifting, but genuinely after trying your best at something you’ve loved for five years and still nothing and in fact things are just getting worse in your life when you’ve done your best at juggling everything from work, school, family, and shifting, just to feel like you are going no where and lost everything anyways, that can break down even the most hopeful positive of people like me in my shifting journey. I don’t know if there’s any advice you can hopefully provide for this that I probably haven’t heard but thank you anyways for all you do and I’ve always admired who you are and how authentic you are. ❤️ who knows maybe something will miraculously change for me when I least expect it but for now here I am! ❤️

Of course, you're right, that I've probably got nothing new for you, but maybe what I'm about to say may ease your stress, make it fade away from background.

Shifting is dependent on which lens you to try to look at it.

If you looked at it through the eyes of your CR self, then of course, you'll remain your CR self.

But if you were to view it from your DR self's eyes, shifting won't be there, but your DR will be.

Shifting is all about breaking a mold. to solve shifting like any other worldly problems, robotically, like you're trying to pass on a test, is not how it works.

Simply assume you're not human. I know you've mentioned the struggle of juggling other activities alongside it, you have to let go of the crave to make yourself seem like "you've done enough", that is a human response to any situation.

I know my word would induce nothing but agitation in you, because it is simply not something anyone who works hard would want to hear, shifting does not require hardwork.

I would rant all I know in this post, to try to push you in the right direction, but I wouldn't like to be so unorganised.

I have already made much posts on my blog, which focuses on letting go of human identity and ideologies, so please, if you haven't come across the knowledge I can share, reach back in my inbox, so i could link all the posts I think could help you.

[mscostac]

There you are...

You can call me Costa! (she/her/Ravenclaw)

I write. I daydream. I yearn for love stories and happy endings. This is how I ended up here.

This is the growing library of my stories—completed works, WIPs, longfics and one shots. I write SFW and NSFW (MDNI).

All stories are part of the same universe featuring the same characters. These are the pairings I love so much it hurts:

❥ Sebastian Sallow / Carolyn Morgan (FMC, Gryffindor Player Character)

❥ Ominis Gaunt / Phineas Black (MMC, Slytherpuff, canon-ish but mostly an OC)

All my works are published on AO3 and Wattpad, and you can also find me on Discord (mostly active on the OHL server) and Tiktok!

Below is the masterlist of stories & art commissions.

All sorts of interactions are appreciated ♡ I'm a pathological comment replier

Chronological Fic Order guide:

Main Fanfiction Works:

Take Me To The Lakes

COMPLETE | 35k words | Ominis Gaunt / Phineas Black | Mature

Childhood Friends to Enemies to Lovers; Forced Proximity; Grumpy Sunshine; post-game events. All-time readers' favourite and I recommend you start here ♡

Full story + summary & tags on AO3 | Wattpad

Epilogue one-shot on AO3 | Wattpad

I know he's rolled on his side because though his voice is low, I can hear it closely, right in front of me. Too close. He says, "Don't you want to put a face to the person you hate so much? So you can have a clear picture of me while you think about all the loathing?" As if I need to know what he looks like when I already think about him all the time. "Putting a face to it would only make it harder." "Make what harder?" He chuckles faintly at his own joke, but I can hear right through him. The hesitant, insecure, and vulnerable boy I once knew is still there. "Harder to hate you." Grasping my wrists, he traps my hands between his face and his palms. "Let's make it worse, then."

Timeless

Ongoing (~80%) | ~150k words | Sebastian Sallow / Carolyn Morgan | Explicit

real Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, arranged marriage, Amortentia, plot twists, all the 'firsts', dual POV

Full story + summary & tags on AO3 | Wattpad | TRAILER (VIDEO)

I heard Natty entering the dormitory, and the sound of her steps grew louder as she got closer to me. "The moon is beautiful tonight..." I breathed out. She leaned by the window, attempting to make eye contact. "I know dreamy eyes when I see them, Carolyn," Natty mocked. I blushed. "Do you think he knows, Natty? How I feel about him?" I grabbed a pillow and held it close to my chest. "Well... I surely hope he does. The endless letters during summer. The excessive amount of time you spend together. That canvas right there he gifted you. Honestly, I am surprised you two are not dating yet." "The canvas?" I glanced at the Iceland painting and wrinkled my nose. "Oh no... I am definitely not talking about Sebastian Sallow." She tilted her head to the side, lifting one eyebrow. "What? Who are you talking about, then?" "Natty..." I breathed out heavily. "I... I fell for him." I gazed at the moon again. "I am in love with Ominis Gaunt."

One-Shots Collection:

❥ Anne’s Every Flavour Biscuits

3.2k words | SFW | AO3 | Wattpad

Aroace!Anne, Coming Out story, Ominis Gaunt gives a hug

Anne Sallow has always felt different. What was supposed to be just a cosy evening baking shortbreads with a new special potion becomes the first time she feels seen (not literally, though, when it comes to her best friend, Ominis Gaunt).

❥ But Daddy I Love Him (You Should Have Seen Your Faces)

3.5k words | Ominis Gaunt/Phineas Black | NSFW | AO3 | Wattpad

Exhibitionism, P in M and A (say gex), Daddy Issues

Headmaster Black is dead, but it's not too late for his son, Phineas Black, to come out of the closet and make him proud with the help of Ominis Gaunt.

❥ Save a Candle, Blow a Wizard

3.2k words | Sebastian Sallow/Carolyn Morgan | NSFW | AO3 | Wattpad

Birthday boy!Sebastian, Deepthro@ting, nsfw art here

Sebastian's birthday was a day full of activities that his girlfriend Carolyn planned for him. She knew how to make him happy and indulged him with a birthday present of his choice.

❥ Sebastian Sallow Is Not Scared of Snakes

2.8k words | Sebastian Sallow/Carolyn Morgan/"Boggaunt" | NSFW | AO3 | Wattpad

cuckhold, voyeurism, inappropriate use of non-beings (?), crackfic, readers' favourite lol

There is an intruder at the Sallow’s Manor. Sebastian experiences a twisted new type of rage as his biggest fears are put to the test. Is he jealous of the unexpected visitor, though? Or, Sebastian watches a boggart shapeshifted as Ominis f*ck his wife. And he enjoys it.

❥ Two Sebastians Are Better Than One

3.4k words | Sebastian Sallow/Carolyn Morgan/Sebastian Sallow | NSFW | AO3 | Wattpad

threesom&/DP, inappropriate use of a time-turner, selfcest (?)

How Sebastian Stole Christmas, using Santa Claus’ time-turner to have a holly jolly threesome with his wife and... himself.

❥ Cedarwood Lakeshore

5k words | Ominis Gaunt/Phineas Black | Mature | AO3 | Wattpad

established relationship, fluff, surprise marriage proposal, Christmas and NYE, they live in NYC

13 years later, Ominis Gaunt and Phineas Black found their happy ending in NYC. Ominis has one last surprise for Phineas, and Phineas has one last surprise for Ominis.

Art Commissions:

Sebastian Sallow/Carolyn Morgan:

Swimming at Clagmar Coast, by puridew

First Date at the Owlery, by myokk

Their spot at the Transfiguration Courtyard, by giselesann

Almost Kiss during Christmas, by giselesann

Yule Ball, by giselesann

Night at the Library, by vienguinn

Black Dress and Suit, by giselesann

The Notebook kiss, by ketto-art

The First Time, by yoshitsuno

Touch Down (NSFW), by rednite-dork

Morning Daylight (Mature), by kylominis

Save a Candle, Blow a Wizard (NSFW), by meizze-art

Ominis Gaunt/Phineas Black:

Cosy reading, by giselesann

Smoking Hot, by giselesann

Do You Want To Know What I Look Like? by giselesann

Sharing a Bed (Phineas was, in fact, staring), by giselesann

Saturn promise, by giselesann

Rain Kiss, by giselesann

Idyllic summer, by pheexblack

Other:

Carolyn & Ominis are judging you, by kylominis

Yule Ball princesses, by silvyadrakkon

Sebastian & Anne shenannigans, by silvyadrakkon

Sebastian, Anne and Ominis bebes, by sylviadrakkon

Sebastian for Corinthians x Ominis for Palmeiras, by giselesann

header group art: commission by @adelikashere

Lakes and Timeless cover arts: @vienguinn

dividers: @saradika

[yyaktayak]

Chapter 1

Kimaya’s Pov.

I giggled softly as I scrolled through my phone, reading the tweets from my friends. Of course, they were losing their minds over me and Josh posting another picture together. They kept joking that we were more than just "best friends," but that couldn't be further from the truth. It was just us, messing around, doing what we always did. Nothing more, nothing less.

Josh was my best friend. We were always there for each other, never putting labels on what we had. Still, every time someone mentioned anything about us being "more," it made me second-guess things—if only for a second.

I pushed the thoughts aside as I grabbed my blanket and threw it over my legs, curling up on the couch. The room was cozy, the soft hum of the TV in the background, when suddenly, a knock at the door interrupted my peace. I frowned, setting my phone down. Who could it be?

I opened the door, expecting maybe a delivery person or one of the neighbors, but instead, I was greeted by Josh—looking ridiculously good in his grey sweatpants and a plain white T-shirt, carrying a DoorDash bag like he was the most casual delivery guy on earth.

"Josh?" I blinked at him. "What are you doing here?"

He gave me that cocky grin I knew all too well, like he owned the place. "Hey, Ra. I got you food. DoorDash delivery, as requested." He held out the bag, barely trying to hide the teasing glint in his eyes.

"I know you didn't diss my delivery guy to bring this shit yo self," I said, crossing my arms my thick accent coming out. "You seriously walked all the way over here just to pretend to be a DoorDash driver?"

He shrugged nonchalantly, stepping inside before I could say anything else. "Well, I thought ya mighta need sum food, and I did feel like seeing ya . so, yeah. you're welcomema."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled up. "You're such a liar. You ain order this. you just wanted an excuse ta come hang boy."

He grinned even wider, clearly pleased with himself. "Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't. But now that I'm hea, I'm staying. Food's on the counter. I'm crashing fa the night."

I stared at him, wide-eyed, as he dropped the DoorDash bag on the kitchen counter and kicked off his sneakers like he was settling in for a long visit.

"wait-"

"Oh, I'm not just 'coming over' fa a quick hang," he interrupted, already sinking onto the couch like he lived here. "I'm spending da night mama. We'll watch movies, eat pizza, and I'm cuddling with you Ra. Don't even try to protest. You know the drill and don't try me I'll tackle ya ass down ." He said his thick Louisiana accent piercing through .

I blinked at him, completely dumbfounded but his accent definitely did things to me.. "ya serious right now? And what do you mean 'cuddle'?"

He gave me a look that screamed 'really?' and patted the spot next to him on the couch. "Ra, you Always invite me over, even if you don't say the words. Plus, you're not getting out of this one. You can't resist me."

My heart skipped a beat at the cocky tone in his voice, but I quickly pushed the feeling aside. It was Josh. Nothing new here .

"I definitely can resist you, thank you very much Mr.Fatu," I retorted, walking over to the couch and grabbing the pizza box. "But fine, you're here, you're crashing. Whatever." I said rolling my eyes .

Josh made an exaggerated sigh of relief as he reached for a slice of pizza. "Ra what I told you bout rollin ya eyes at me, but good knew you'd come around. na, about that cuddle part..."

I looked at him slightly admiring him before shaking my head  as I sat down next to him. "ya not gon let it go, huh?"

"na," he said with a sly grin. "Cuddle time. I'm cold, Ra. And you're the only one who can warm me up."

I rolled my eyes again, but I could feel the warmth creeping up my neck. "You're ridiculous," I muttered, but the truth was, I wasn't exactly protesting. I'd always been comfortable around Josh, and the idea of us just... being close, as stupid as it sounded, didn't feel weird. Not really.

"Come on, Ra," he said, nudging me with his shoulder. 'We're "best friends"Just let me cuddle you like the old times. I'm not gonna bite."

I couldn't help it. The teasing tone in his voice, the way he said "old times" like it was some sweet inside joke—it made my heart do something funny. Something I wasn't ready to name yet.

I finally gave in with a dramatic sigh. "fine, but you bet not leave me like you did without telling me ."

He grinned like he'd won the lottery. "I told you I was sorry ma it was last minute. But Ima get the blanket, and you're getting the cuddles. Simple as that."

Before I could respond, he grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and threw it over both of us, pulling me close as he made himself comfortable.

I let out an exaggerated groan but didn't pull away. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, settling in like this was the most natural thing in the world. And to be honest, it kind of was.

"Good night, ma," he said, his voice softer now, but the playful edge was still there.

I rolled my eyes, leaning into him just a little bit more than I probably should've. "you- you're so ridiculous boy."

He chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of my head, the warmth of his body settling against mine.

But I couldn't help the thoughts that suddenly swirled in my head. Josh was my best friend, but in this moment, it felt like there was more—something different, something more than I was ready to admit.

Josh's POV-

I grinned to myself, trying to suppress the satisfaction of getting exactly what I wanted. Ra always tried to act like I was the annoying one, the one who couldn't take a hint, but deep down, I knew she loved it when I crashed at her place. It was the way we'd always been, after all.

She fit against me perfectly, the soft weight of her head resting on my shoulder as she tried to act like she wasn't enjoying the fact that I'd weaseled my way into her space yet again.

"I know ya not mad Kimaya." I teased, brushing my fingers through her hair lightly. "You love this."

She shot me a look, but I could tell she was already melting into the comfort of it. "boy what I told you bout my real name.. you lucky Ian kicked you out yet."

"Would you really do that to your best friend?" I said, my voice low, but with that same playful edge.

I felt her sigh against me, and I knew that no matter how much she'd pretend otherwise, she didn't want me to leave. She never did.

"I hate you," she mumbled, but the hint of a smile tugged at her lips.

"mhm, I love you too ma," I said, grinning down at her. "But you're not going to want me to go tomorrow."

She didn't answer, and we just sat there, wrapped up in the blanket, the silence hanging between us. It was comfortable. Too comfortable. And I couldn't help but wonder if maybe I was starting to blur the line between being her best friend and... maybe something more.

But for now, I was content. I had all the time in the world to figure it out.

[insert-random-account-name]

Crappy Character Analysis, part 8

As I'm posting this, I've realized that I was really hard on Opportunist. So if he's your blorbo, I apologize. Thank you all for reading these, and be sure to check out the links for your favorite voice!

part 1 (Broken)

part 2 (Skeptic)

part 3 (Cold)

part 4 (Paranoid)

part 5 (Stubborn

part 6 (Contrarian)

part 7 (Smitten)

VOICE OF THE OPPORTUNIST

Of all of the voices in Slay the Princess, the Voice of the Opportunist is one of the most hated. I understand, I hate him too. The Pristine Cut has firmly cemented his place as an annoying stuck-up boot-licking jerk who changes his mind every five seconds. He tells you to stab the Thorn, actually stabs the Princess (and you) in the P&D, gets into a street fight with the Witch, and, when she possesses you, pulls out a chair in your subconscious for the Wraith to sit on and hands her your resume. What’s even worse about him is that he can’t even make up his mind! Any time someone says something, Opportunist immediately starts buttering them up, telling them how great of an idea they have. However, if someone else disagrees, he switches sides, telling them that their idea is the best, and that’s why he has always sided with them. In every appearance, he’s arrogant, slimy, and all-around untrustworthy. He even denies seeing the mirror, something which, as proven in literally every other chapter, every voice can see, just for the sake of playing both teams.

Why is the Opportunist like this? He wants to self-preserve. Every time you get him, you do it by stringing the Princess along, making her believe you’re going to help her, and then stabbing her in the back when opportunity arrives. Each time, the reason you stab her is because you value yourself and your agency over the person you promised to free. In the Spectre, you know what happens after you slay her, so why bother? To get her out of your head, to get full rein of your mind. In the Nightmare and Chapter 1, you stab her when it’s clear that the two of you will never escape together while the Narrator has anything to say about it. Every time Opportunist changes his mind, he does so in order to align himself with who he thinks has the most power. He does this in an attempt to ensure your safety when things inevitably get messy. This is seen in the Thorn, when he quickly switches sides once he realizes the Princess might have the knife. However, if you find it touching how much he cares about you, there’s still more to this argument. When Opportunist says he’s looking out for you, what he really means is “The body I’m inhabiting,” since, in the P&D, he stabs you with little hesitation. He wants to protect himself, but he claims to want to protect you because in the end, you are making the choices. The more he aligns himself with your viewpoints, the more likely you are to like him, meaning that you’ll take his advice later on. However, as showcased throughout the game, he really sucks at sounding genuine, and lays it on way too thick. Of course, he isn’t ride or die; if you make a choice that puts you in danger, Opportunist will protest. Out of all the voices, he’s the one that lacks empathy the most (Even more than Cold!). He is simply unable to make sacrifices to help someone else. He cannot put his trust in anyone except himself. He would never surrender power to another, no matter the risk. Honestly, I think the main reason people hate Opportunist is simply because of this attitude. I might have been a bit harsh on him, but the Pristine Cut did not make me like him very much.

[softshuji]

hi babesss!! for ur post about the requests, do u mind writing something about timeskip ran? anything fluffy u can do whatever. thank u🤍

cw: none!

Ran's been holding your hair back for the past twenty minutes now. Or at least that's how long you think it's been but you're not sure and it's even harder to tell the time when the room seems to spin every time you look up from the toilet bowl.

'Oh god, this feels awful,' you mumble, your forehead pressed to your wrist and clammy as Ran rubs soothing circles on your back through your shirt. 'I'm never ever doing this again.'

He laughs and it's a bright sound, a tinkly sound like a star clinking against another, the sort of melodic chime that sounds a little like a song. 'Oh I know, it's pretty shitty isn't it? Rindou gets like this too whenever he drinks. A lot messier than this though I have to say- you're doing really well, all things considered.'

And he's trying not to find amusement in it when you're clearly nauseous and in distress but he can't help but simmer with a faint and curling warmth in his chest when he thinks of how proud and honoured he is to be here at all, with you, at this late hour as you throw up in the toilet. Your hair is a little sweaty and sticky with it and he wipes it back and tucks it behind your ear as another bout of nausea comes and goes and you take a swig of water from the bottle he's graciously provided.

'That's nice to hear but nothing about this feels like it's going well at all.' And you groan and heave, dry heaving now since most of it has come out, the emptiness in your stomach now making an appearance every time your insides seem to roll.

Ran hums and pulls the hair tie from his wrist to secure your hair back, rinsing off a wet cloth to wipe the sweat down from your forehead and temples, passing it over your neck and the chill has you shivering in your shirt as ran turns to rinse it off again.

You watch, your eyes glassy and sleep now coming quick. 'Thank you,' you say because it feels right, because it feels like you should and you want him to know that even when it's like this and you're being so much, so intense and taking up his time, you see it still and you love him despite yourself.

'Hm? For what?'

You chew up the words, measuring them out as the heaviness coats your tongue. 'For helping me, for being here. I mean- I mean it.' It's slurred, and coated with fatigue, the light suddenly too harsh and bright, an ache and heaviness to your limbs he doesn't miss.

'It's not a problem you know, I wanted to be here so I am.'

'Still... thank you.'

'Mhm, you tired now or something?' He asks even if he knows, even if he sees your head sagging against your arm resting on the toilet seat and before you nod, he's put the cloth down to scoop you up, safe and warm against his chest.

You don't speak as he carries you to bed, and tucks you in with the sheets pulled to your chin but he senses your eyes now drooping and fighting to stay open, just to hold him in your line of sight, in your periphery for a second longer and he leans down to kiss your forehead, lets his lips linger there against the skin.

Just so he can feel you for a second longer too.