#so beautiful and bittersweet

[elfsroot]

"Forget your wrath, forget your grief. Show yourself."

[waterdropsfall]

At least he died happy

He's in a better place now

[nemkero]

where we go, after the war

[accio-victuuri]

wang yibo - performance of “somebody else’s arms” @ yh family 15th anniversary concert

[mamawasatesttube]

it shouldve been ives........... man.......

[prettysweetprettysweet]

[my-ghost-monument]

I have loved being with you, Yaz

Happy one year anniversary to the ep I'm still not emotionally ready to re-watch! I know for many a kiss was missed, but for me, that handhold/grab they had fulfilled my thasmin dreams (not to mention the bridal carry) <3

This is the second part in a little thasmin hands/s13 specials series I'm doing. LOTSD, EOTD

[id in alt text]

[moeblob]

So, lore?

Lo'en is a half elf and across the world there are designated elven kingdoms. One of them! Where she was born and her mother (elf) still lives, is frigid and in the north. Humans still have an odd tradition for Santa and so she hides her slightly pointed ears so that she doesn't have to sit through ANOTHER "Saint Nick" story that the northern elf king refuses to be offended by. His name is Niklava and he rather LIKES the association of how giving the cold can be! Lo'en could easily live without hearing another comment about ol' Saint Nick and his elves though.

Hold, while technically human/mortal, is cursed to live life over and over. And he has plant/green powers. He gets a lot of the "oh you'll grow up to be fine one of these days!" "you're still a sprout in this life time" "you still have time to bloom then!" and he also hates it.

Because Hold has to continue living even after he dies (though his body regresses to a child like age as he "recovers from death") he's absolutely enamored with Lo'en who just continues to exist. Her life span is way longer than a humans, longer than his /should/ be. And he admires her a lot and is really grateful to have her around for so many of his lives lived. Lo'en is relieved to have someone she gets along with who won't die and leave her forever. He dies, sure, but he gets better.

Lo'en meets Hold first while during one of his sister's dead phases so that's why the two are much closer than Lo'en is to Hold's sister. The two girls do help keep Hold safe when he's dead but they aren't super best friends or anything.

[sudokuplayer]

[tommyohnosworld]

i love hearing your heartbeat. it’s an extension of you, it’s rhythmic, it’s soothing.

laying on your chest, my breathing slows. i become weightless, falling into your skin. your skin glows, its warmth shines rays onto my body.

your lips find my hair, leaving the gentlest kisses embedded inside the weaves. i leave a kiss on your chest, letting the action whisper its love to your ears. your heart.

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC’s Lucien Wonderful Moments Date English Translation

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Lucien boops Snowball's nose, his tone hinting at jealousy.

"You've been praising this little guy a lot."

"Pfft, is Professor Lucien jealous?"

Translation under the cut!

[Notes from Lux: Here’s the CN video link if anyone wants to follow along with his Voice Acting.]

A car moves slowly on the vibrant countryside road, joyful laughter spilling out of its windows from time to time.

Lucien casually rests his hand on the steering wheel, looking ahead, and quickly comes up with a Chinese idiom.

Lucien: The victory is in the bag. (shèng quàn zài wò)

MC: Idiom with wò… crouching tigers and hidden dragons! (wò hǔ cáng lóng! - 卧虎藏龙 - fig. mean talented individuals hiding their talent)

Lucien: Just a reminder to this beautiful contestant, this phrase was already said during our first round of the idiom chain game.

MC: Then, how about… I control my destiny! (wǒ mìng yóu wǒ - 我命由我- a phrase, not an idiom)

Lucien: [chuckles] That doesn't seem to be an idiom. Is Miss Producer starting to cheat?

Lucien tilts his head and looks at me with a smile. I sheepishly stick out my tongue, wracking my brain as I search through my vocabulary.

The gentle spring breeze seeps through the gaps of the car window. Looking at those cunning eyes, I have a sudden inspiration and break into a sweet smile.

MC: I like you~ (wǒ xǐhuān nǐ~)

Lucien's demeanor briefly halts for half a beat as though he doesn't expect my answer. But then, the smile on his lips grows bigger.

The warm afternoon sunshine reflects brightly in his upturned eyes, making them look particularly beautiful.

Lucien: [chuckles, then sighs] This is the most sophisticated cheating I've ever seen, so I concede defeat.

I cheer joyfully, but before I can utter a word, an electronic broadcast interrupts me.

"Distance to the next highway toll booth is 1.5 kilometers ahead.”

I glance at the phone screen and see it shows another hour and a half to the camping village.

Lucien suggested this camping trip to an ecologically pristine village with beautiful scenery, though the only downside is that the journey was a bit long.

I turn to look at Lucien, who appears to be in a good mood, and can't resist asking the small question that's been lingering on my mind.

MC: Lucien, what made you suddenly want to take me to this camping village?

Lucien: It was recommended by a colleague from the research center. I heard the scenery there is nice and worth a visit.

Lucien: I originally wanted to find an opportunity to spend time with you, and just last weekend we went to see a play, which gave me a very legitimate reason to invite you on a date—

Lucien: To create “beautiful moments”.

He deliberately emphasizes the words "beautiful moments", causing me to momentary pause as a recent memory quickly floods into my mind.

—[Flashback Start]—

At the entrance of the theater last weekend.

Lucien and I walked out of the theater hand in hand. I was still sniffling, lost in the storyline of the performance we just watched, unwilling to let it go.

Just as I was about to wipe away the tears at the corner of my eye, a warm hand handed me a tissue and gently dabbed it beneath my eyes.

Lucien: [gently] If this little audience member keeps crying, I'll have to go find the production team for an explanation.

MC: I'm just really moved by the play...

MC: At first, when I saw the protagonist growing up under the shadow of his mother's depression, I thought he would fall into despair.

MC: But he was able to diligently record the beautiful moments in life and ultimately salvaged himself...

MC: I just tried to put myself in his shoes, and it's really hard to be as optimistic as the protagonist, so I couldn't stop my tears.

Under Lucien's gentle gaze, I rambled on and on, completing my "review" of the play. He patiently wiped the corners of my eyes and offered a comforting smile.

Lucien: I actually think the lady by my side also has a pair of eyes that can discover the beauty of life everywhere.

His sincere praise caught me off guard, and I couldn't help but feel a little buoyed by it. My heart, which had been saddened by the protagonist's struggles, also eased a bit.

MC: If I had a "Book of Beautiful Moments," the first thing I would record is how Professor Lucien always generously praises me~

Lucien chuckled softly, and the strands of hair hanging over his forehead swayed gently in front of his thick lashes.

Lucien: [chuckles] I'm just stating facts. She shares the beauty of the sky with me and finds satisfaction in good weather...

Lucien: —Isn't that kind of you very much like the protagonist?

MC: Then next time I discover something beautiful, I'll make sure to record it promptly.

MC: Let's see if I can fill several volumes of "Wonderful Moments" just like the protagonist!

—[Flashback Ends]—

I casually remarked and thought it was nothing but a joke, yet Lucien silently remembered it in his heart. I come to my senses and blink.

MC: So, the reason you suddenly decided to take me out to play is to create more wonderful moments in my life?

Lucien: I wonder if it's because I'm not "competent" enough that you don't have much to record, so I deliberately created this opportunity.

Lucien: Of course, it's also to show myself off a bit.

He adopts a tone of pretended grievance that stirs a feeling of itchiness in my heart, I suppress the curve of my lips, nodding in mock annoyance.

MC: Well, in light of your "timely remedy," I'll reluctantly start recording officially!

✂———————–

MC: ...Lucien takes me camping;

MC: Before we set off, Lucien made me a cup of hot chocolate.

MC: While playing the idiom chain game, Lucien deliberately went easy on me...

As I speak, I open the Notes app on my phone and mutter to myself, recording a dozen or so entries. But as I continue to write, I suddenly feel something is amiss.

MC: Wait a minute, why do all these "wonderful moments" have Professor Lucien's shadow? I'm starting to suspect that I have a “love-brain”*...

[T/N: "恋爱脑" (love brain) is a Chinese internet buzzword that refers to a mindset that puts love first above everything. It refers to individuals who are deeply in love and often become consumed by their emotions, making it difficult for them to think about anything else. This phenomenon is characterized by extreme devotion to their lover, often leading to uncontrollable emotional dependence and intense desires to be with the other person... If anything, from the way Lucien takes her casual remarks seriously and uses them as a reason to hang out with her, this word describes Lucien more LOL]

Lucien: [with a pretending-don’t-to-know-anything tone] Oh, really?

Lucien is amused by my muttering, and a hint of sly self-satisfaction shines in his long and narrow eyes.

Lucien: [chuckles] It seems the Great Producer has already fallen into my sweet trap.

Lucien: Because my goal is to dominate your today's "wonderful moments" list through this trip.

MC: Hmph, then I won't let you succeed. Right now, I'm going to come up with something completely unrelated to you.

As I speak, I catch a glimpse of a white shadow flashing in front of the car. But before I can react, Lucien has already hit the brakes.

[Sounds of the car suddenly braking]

Almost simultaneously, a strong arm instinctively protects me in front of my chest.

Lucien: ...Are you okay?

He removes his sunglasses and swiftly scans me with his gaze as if confirming whether I'm injured.

I stare blankly ahead. After a moment of daze, there's no movement in front of the car, and my heart leaps into my throat.

MC: I, I'm okay...

MC: Lu, Lucien... Did something just rush onto the road?

Lucien: I'll go down and take a look first. Stay in the car and don't move.

He smooths out my disheveled bangs and then gets out of the car after turning on the hazard lights.

Through the windshield, I see him quickly walk to the front of the car. His gaze instantly shifts downward, as if he's spotted something, and he crouches down.

Did we really hit something?

Just as I nervously stretch my neck and am about to get out of the car to take a look, Lucien suddenly stands up, cradling a bundle of white fluff in his arms.

MC: Eh?

I take a closer look and can't help but exclaim in delight—

It's an adorable little Pomeranian!

Under my expectant gaze, Lucien quickly gets back into the car with the little Pomeranian in his arms, then raises the pup's paw and waves it at me.

MC: Hello there, cutie! How did you end up on the road?

Lucien: This little fellow must have gotten lost. I didn't see anyone else outside the car.

I follow Lucien's gaze out the window. The road is very quiet, there's no sign of anyone around.

MC: Is it injured?

Lucien: It wasn't hit just now. When I got out to check, it was still some distance from the front of the car. It's probably just a little startled.

As if understanding, the Pomeranian snuggles its face into Lucien's palm coquettishly. Its dewy eyes shift between Lucien and me, softening my heart.

I tentatively reach out my hand towards its nose, intending to let it get accustomed to my scent before attempting to pet its little head.

However, as soon as I reach out my hand, the little fellow enthusiastically licks my fingers. In the next moment, it leaps over the center console and goes straight into my arms.

MC: Wow, what a good little doggy!

MC: And it looks very clean, not like a stray dog... Could it be lost?

Lucien leans in and turns the collar of the small Pomeranian, discovering a small round tag. On it, it reads "Snowball*" and a string of numbers.

[T/N: the pet name, "雪糕" (xuě gāo), actually means "ice cream bar/popsicle"  LOL. I take some liberty in translating the pup name because “雪” (xuě) word alone means “snow” (while “糕” (gao) means cake). Imagine that this fluffy white bundle looks like a snowball so I give the pup that name :D]

MC: "Snowball"? Is that its name?

Lucien: Mm, below should be the owner's phone number. Let me try contacting them. Maybe the owner hasn't gone far.

Lucien takes out his phone as he speaks and quickly gets connected. After briefly explaining the situation, a wave of gratitude comes from the other end of the line.

??: Thank you so much! I stopped at the service area for a break and took the pup out of the car for a walk. I forgot to bring it back into the car.

??: I've already turned back onto the highway. I'll be there in about forty minutes!

??: Will it delay you?

Lucien doesn't respond, he just looks up at me and gestures with his eyes, as if asking for my opinion. I quickly nod in agreement.

[asking for opinion from the family leader.jpg]

Lucien: No, it won't. Then let's meet at the nearest gas station to the toll booth on the highway.

After a brief conversation, he hangs up the phone and shakes his head at me helplessly.

Lucien: [smiles helplessly] Looks like our journey might be delayed for a bit.

MC: What a careless owner! How could they forget such an adorable little dog?

I affectionately rub Snowball's head. It seems to whimper aggrievedly, then it straightens up, leans against me, and licks my cheek.

The adorable and silly look melts my heart once again. I exaggerate by placing my hand over my heart, then I scoop Snowball into my arms and give it a tight cuddle.

MC: Lucien, it's just too cute.

Upon seeing this, Lucien boops Snowball's nose, his tone hinting at jealousy.

Lucien: You've been praising this little guy since earlier until now for so many times.

MC: Pfft, is Professor Lucien feeling jealous?

Lucien: After all, I was the one who wanted to make a good impression today, but I didn’t expect to be outshone by this "little attention-seeker".

MC: I think, it's actually quite timely that Snowball showed up.

I mischievously wink at him and raise Snowball triumphantly.

MC: Just when I couldn't think of any beautiful moments unrelated to you.

MC: The appearance of this cute little fellow right now just fills that gap perfectly~

Lucien: Is that so?

Lucien presses his lips together thoughtfully, his clean fingertips lightly tapping on the steering wheel. He puts his sunglasses back on and, as if on a whim, starts the car again.

Lucien: Buckle up your seatbelt, let's go.

MC: Huh? Where are we going? Aren't we supposed to wait for Snowball's owner?

Lucien: MC's words just aroused my desire to win.

Lucien: In order not to lose to this little fellow, I have to put in some extra effort during these forty minutes of waiting.

Lucien: Before that, let's go find some more unexpected wonderful moments.

✂———————–

Ten minutes later, Lucien drives us to a countryside field.

The golden sunlight blankets the emerald green grass, while wisps of light mist hover amidst the sea of green.

Excitedly, I hop out of the car while holding Snowball, and find myself unable to tear my eyes away from the beautiful scenery for a moment.

MC: It's so beautiful! Lucien, how did you know there's a place like this nearby?

Lucien: We passed by here when Miss Producer was fully focused on playing the idiom chain game just now.

Lucien: The meeting point I arranged with Snowball's owner is very close to here, so it was convenient to stop by on the way.

MC: [sweats] What? During that intense idiom chain game just now, you still managed to notice the scenery on the sides of the road?

Upon hearing this, Lucien seriously crosses his arms, one hand supporting his chin as if deep in thought.

Lucien: Hmm, after all, even in such a tense moment, Miss Producer didn't forget to use "sweet words" to bribe her opponent.

MC: Pfft-

I can't help but laugh, but Snowball in my arms suddenly wriggles restlessly, as if trying to break free from my embrace.

MC: Do you want to go down and play?

I carefully place Snowball on the ground. It sniffs around with its tiny nose and then happily starts running around us.

MC: [laughs cheerfully] Hahaha, Snowball, you're so fearless, don't you?

MC: Even after such a day full of twists and turns, you can still play so happily!

Lucien: A puppy's mind is very simple.

Lucien: Perhaps in its eyes, it simply unexpectedly took a risk to venture into an unfamiliar place and met with a beautiful and empathetic Jiejie (big sister) who understands it well.

Lucien: And now, this Jiejie has brought it to a playground where it can run freely, so why can't it be happy?

MC: Oh, come on, it's definitely the credit of this reasonable and understanding handsome Gege (big brother).

I jokingly gesture with my hand, but as I watch Snowball's carefree figure, I can't help but ponder Lucien's words with a thoughtful expression.

MC: That being said, it seems like any simple thing can easily make a puppy happy.

MC: Whether it's the company of its owner, a friendly pat from a stranger, a passing butterfly, or even just a small treat...

MC: I often see videos of dogs being scolded by their owners. One moment, they're scared out of their wits…

MC: Then, the next moment, as soon as their owners call their names with a smile, they instantly become happy again.

MC: So, is life filled with beautiful moments everywhere in the eyes of a puppy?

As we talk, Snowball runs around a nearby grassy area and then returns to Lucien's feet, panting. It looks like it's tired from playing and eagerly starts pawing at his pants.

Lucien cooperatively lifts it, and it comfortably stretches lazily in his arms, then leans against his arm and rests.

Lucien pats its head, his expression somewhat resigned.

Lucien: I originally wanted to create a "wonderful moment" for MC, but it seems like Snowball is the one enjoying it more.

MC: Indeed, we should learn from puppies and embrace the spirit of enjoying every moment. I can't let Snowball beat me~

As I say this, I take a deep breath, and the fresh air instantly fills my heart.

MC: So pleasant... If it weren't for the tight schedule and better scenery waiting for us, I'd want to camp right here.

Lucien looks at me upon hearing this, seeming to contemplate something. After a moment, he gently places Snowball into my arms and gives me a mysterious wink.

Lucien: I've received the classmate's wish, please wait a moment.

He walks around to the back of the car, opens the trunk, and folds down all the rear seats, creating a spacious area.

[Lucien’s car being an SUV is really useful in times like this huh-]

Then, he hangs the small decorative lanterns that were initially used for the tent on the roof of the car. Finally, he shakes out a small thin blanket and spreads it on top.

After finishing all this, he bends slightly and makes a gentlemanly invitation gesture.

Lucien: Please, have a seat.

MC: This is...

Lucien: Our time is indeed limited, not enough to set up a proper tent.

Lucien: So we'll have to use this "temporary camping spot" instead, I hope you two* don’t disdain it.

[T/N: He actually uses 小朋友 (literally means: child) as the term of endearment to refer both of them (so the more literal translation should be “I hope the two children don’t disdain it”). I change it for an obvious reason here, but I swear it’s not as bad as the english language makes it to be-]

I stand still for a moment as his intention dawns on me. Pink bubbles seem to bubble up in my chest, making my heart move up and down in the ripples it causes.

I compliantly put on airs, playing along with his gesture as I cradle Snowball and settle into the car.

MC: Can you see a look of "disdain" on our faces?

I raise Snowball, showing a coy and obedient look at Lucien. Snowball, oblivious to the situation, cooperatively wags its tail and barks cheerfully at Lucien twice.

Lucien chuckles softly, then takes off his sunglasses with one hand, his gaze shifting between Snowball and me.

The vast expanse of clouds above his head begins to slowly drift away, revealing the warm and radiant sunshine.

His deep gaze is imbued by the golden sky, revealing a hint of childlike innocence and simple contentment.

Lucien: Indeed, I can't see it, because I can only see two adorable faces.

His doting tone is unreserved, and I satisfactorily squint my eyes, my heart full of joy.

MC: This one-of-a-kind camping area, with Professor Lucien's intention behind it, is priceless and worth more than any amount of money.

MC: I cherish it so much; how could I possibly disdain it?

Snowball seems to understand my words. With a "woof", he jumps down and happily rolls around on the blanket.

Both Lucien and I are amused by its adorable appearance. A gentle breeze blows by, and my entire heart feels light as if it's strolling in the clouds.

Our gazes lock into each other, and this tranquil moment is so beautiful that I truly want to record it in some way.

But I don't take out my phone to make a note. Instead, I instinctively reach out and gently pull Lucien to sit beside me.

The warmth beside me makes me unconsciously lean closer. I nuzzle his shoulder clingily, my heart filled with softness.

MC: Professor Lucien, you've succeeded.

MC: Now my mind is filled with countless wonderful moments, and each of these moments is related to you-

MC: Me leaning on your shoulder, your scent filling my senses, and us sharing this unexpected encounter of scenery together...

MC: And even if these moments aren't intentionally recorded by me, it's okay.

MC: Because every little thing that has been happening with you has already integrated into my world since a long time ago.

The breath above my head becomes even more gentle and elongated. Lucien enfolds me in his arms, his warm breath almost as if it's seeping into the depths of my heart.

Lucien: I am honored to be part of all the “wonderful moments” of Miss MC.

Lucien: As the sole recipient of this “award”, I will remain humble and continue to work hard, bringing her even more happiness.

I smile in his arms, but suddenly, I think of something and pull myself away from him a bit.

MC: But it's not fair, I've listed so many 'wonderful moments' of my own. How come you haven't shared a single one with me?

Lucien seems taken aback by my sudden mention of this. He is struck silent for a moment, then a flicker of wounded expression crosses his face.

Lucien: Perhaps because I thought even if I didn't say anything, MC would know what I’m thinking—

Lucien: My "list of wonderful moments" is very simple, so simple that it has only one item.

Lucien: Now, do you still need me to tell you this one and only item?

He stares steadily into my eyes, with an irreplaceable radiance that ebbs and flows in the depths of his gaze.

I softly laugh, and my entire heart feels as transparent and bright as if it has been meticulously polished.

MC: No need.

I shook my head, the stray hair on my forehead bringing a slightly unbearable itch, gently brushing against my heart along with the gentle spring breeze.

I gently cup his cheek in the palm of my hand, and the world becomes unusually quiet, only the sound of two hearts beating can be heard.

MC: You don't need to say anything.

Because in those beautiful eyes, I only see myself.

————Fin———–

[Bonus Phone Call - Want it Now]

Lucien: Hello? Are you busy?

MC: So, I was about to take a lunch break—I was just thinking about you, and then your call came.

Lucien: It seems like there's always some kind of wonderful little tacit understanding between us.

Lucien: Then tell me about it.

MC: Haha, here's the thing. The company's pet club is planning a charity event.

MC: They plan to sell some handmade items and donate the proceeds to animal shelters. But I don't have any inspiration for what to make at the moment...

Lucien: Mm... I just received a delivery that might be helpful to you.

Lucien: The owner of Snowball sent us some things as a thank you. There are small felt keychains shaped like Snowball, as well as cartoon-style standees and cross-stitch fridge magnets.

Lucien: Looking at the note in the delivery box, it seems that the owner of Snowball designed them personally and also has the same ones at home.

Lucien: Perhaps we can also make some similar small items.

MC: Wow! They actually make these for their pet? The owner of Snowball is so thoughtful.

Lucien: You can tell that Snowball is truly cherished, so its owner makes these everyday little things, wanting its presence to fill every corner of their home.

MC: Hmm... Just like how my phone screensaver is you, and all the photos hanging around the home are of you?

Lucien: If what you're saying is that feeling of 'even when you're not around, I still want to see you first thing’...

Lucien: Then we're the same.

MC: I have another idea, I wonder if Professor Lucien shares the same idea as me.

Lucien: Hm?

MC: Even though my screensaver and chat background are pictures of you... I still want to see you right now.

Lucien: What a coincidence, I was thinking the same thing. So I've already brought your favorite milk tea and the Snowball keychain, and I'm on my way to see you.

Lucien: I checked the navigation, and the route from the research institute to your company is very smooth.

Lucien: In twenty minutes, both of our wishes will come true.

[nctsworld]

LITTLE MOMENTS WITH JAEHYUN, FROZEN IN TIME // HORIZON

[florthier-than-thou]

If you like the slight art style differences in Hades II you should consider playing Pyre, the unloved middle child game Supergiant made right before Hades.

Look at her. You see what I’m saying. (Official art from the games by lead artist Jen Zee)

Also,

[artsyannierose]

Nene’s Dead Corpse and her ghost bf

randomly made a crap ton more sense to me

why?

fricking school (screw school I hate you (no not rly I’m just stressed))

Anyway I’m a biomed class where unit 1 is studying medical investigations forensic science style

and one of the things is like, what happens to a person after the body has been dead for a while (post mortem or sum, see im learning :D)

Things like algor mortis, livor mortis, I’ve heard of. In fact I’ve even studied the clouding of the corneas before, but it never got to me till today

maybe it’s cause I cannot for the life of me study forensics without my wild imagination giving me nightmares or just panicking when I’m alone but aNyWays

I tend to imagine characters associated with death in these scenarios so I don’t lose it in class💀

*cough* Nene *cough cough*

So as I was taking notes on the slideshow, some of the images of clouded corneas reminded me strangely of something familiar, but at that point I couldn’t tell. There’s something haunting about the eyes (or maybe it’s just my over-analytical brain loving small details like this) they’re GORGEOUS

LIKE

IDK THEYRE PRETTY

Maybe it’s ‘cause the true color of the iris is completely visible in all its glory, without the pupil obscuring it

(something like this?? A little vivid tho lol)

but like

there’s no

life

no reflection, no emotion…nothing (which is so hauntingly beautiful leave me alone I’m a sucker for this now)

it’s literally just an eye with nothing but color

and then it hit me…it’s exactly the look Nene had when Mirai fast-forwarded her time

you can see in the image it’s just her plain magenta eyes with a fuzzy de-saturated blob in the center…aka clouded corneas

And that honestly made me realize that in this scene she’s not—she’s not even unconscious

No she’s literally, physiologically dead

THAT IS A CORPSE HE IS HOLDING

she is literally a dead body this hits me so hard😭😭

and I can imagine algor mortis kicked in by then, her body was probably cold to the touch

so imagine how he felt, and I’m aware people have analyzed his emotions but just think about it

he’s always seen her so full of life and hope, and now all he has left is an empty shell of her, cold and dead with no life left inside

…just like him

the more I think about it Hanako is just an animated corpse

he has no reflection in his eyes most of the time because he is ✨dead✨

I mean Mei, Mitsuba, and Hanako don’t have a little white reflection dot like Nene and Kou

Or maybe I’m overthinking it and Nene’s eyes are just super reflective

even for someone who presumably took his own life, he probably never saw tsukasa’s body start postmortem and actually feel dead bc it looked extremely bloody ngl (I’m guessing he killed himself right after 💔)

and now he’s holding someone he cares about like this for the first time and I’ll bet that scarred him

and he figured out that never, never ever did he ever want to see his sweet assistant like this again, lifeless in his arms

and so after that, cue Hanako in his villain era who basically became a yandere the entire picture perfect lmao

and he was unbelievably adamant about it too

I mean honestly if I held anybody I knew lifeless like that I’d be scarred for life and crying for days

seeing the light drained from someone’s eyes is so interestingly sad to me

Look at the difference:

Happy

vs Sad/Determined

vs Depressed (ig??)

vs Dead

She still has so much emotion in her eyes

and then d e a d

literally looks like a porcelain doll

wait she looks so pale in the last image compared to the others now that I think about it

I love aidairo’s eye for detail it’s so fun to figure out

Well anyways thanks for coming to my Ted Talk essay atp-

IT’S PAST 1 AM AND I SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR SAID BIOMED CLASS AND HERE I AN GOING ON A TANGENT ABOUT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER’S EYES

send help

anyways excuse me while I grab a box of strawberries to munch on and cry my eyes out all over my homework before I sleep-

[purgaytorysupremacy]

oh nuts. a life experience has given me a new layer of perspective on Cas's homosexual declaration of love to Dean.

recently I had occasion to tell a person I had feelings for them knowing full well they didn't feel even a twinge of the same thing for me. while the whole thing was a decidedly unpleasant experience, I kept laughing at myself internally bc I didn't want to say "the happiness is just in saying it" like fucking Castiel over here. (we don't need to talk about it, it's fine.) (I am happier having said it and it's kind of bullshit, but I digress.)

because the thing is, the happiness isn't in just saying it, right? the happiness is in the having. I made a whole TikTok "proving" that the Empty didn't come for Cas when he confessed his love, but rather when he realized Dean loved him back. even for Cas, the happiness was in the having, not in the saying, however brief it was.

and I've always been one of those people who rolled their eyes at the whole concept. why would the happiness be in just being, in just saying it, if it's right there in front of you to have. and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks (as I was washing my kitchen counters).

Cas really didn't think he could have Dean.

at all. in any capacity. he really, truly, and honestly felt to the depths of himself that Dean did not have any twinge of similar feelings, that this really was a Hail Mary shot-in-the-dark. and I think me, personally, really didn't understand that about Cas. that his belief in his love being unrequited was that unshakable.

something else I've been pondering is how audiences have so much more empathy for fictional characters who share traits that IRL they find objectionable and unappealing. but the thing is about fictional characters is that we follow them around in their most private, vulnerable moments. we see Dean mourning Cas when he dies, literally killing himself because he can't live without him, but it's so easy to forget that we're the omniscient ones here.

Cas never knew.

Dean's whole thing was pushing him away, keeping him at arm's length, making it seem like whatever heroic thing he does for Cas he'd do for anyone. he downplays how important it is for Dean to share the Deancave with him, to show him his favourite movies, share his favourite songs. he acts like the things Cas does for him don't mean that much to hide how much they do mean. he uses "we" whenever he even gets in the vicinity of expressing a feeling. "We were worried." "We're glad you're back." "We needed a win." "You're our brother." The audience knew the difference. We saw how he'd clench his jaw or swallow hard or make a face that said "God, I'm being such an idiot". Because we saw him in those little moments. We got to see the cracks in the mask.

but Cas never knew.

the self-hating angel of Thursday was never going to think it was all a way for Dean to protect himself. obviously, that's the delicious tragedy of it all, but what I think I realized at the end of all that is Cas confessing his love to a Dean who didn't love him back wouldn't have worked. Because the happiness really is in the having. If happiness was just in saying it, then The Empty would have come before Cas even finished getting the words out of his mouth.

so Cas's plan wouldn't have worked if Dean didn't love him back.

this is just me yapping on about my own nonsense, but I do think it's really interesting. there's contentment in "just saying it". there's freedom and relief and an unburdening. I think one can argue that it makes being happy in the being easier. there is certainly some joy in telling a person you think that highly of them. but true happiness?

nah.

true happiness is always going to only be in the having. Cas didn't understand the difference until he experienced it, and by then, it was too late.

[holyfreaks]

feeling emotional again about stray (2022)