#so basically my sister has to live with the fact that somebody abused her at schoom and we get no justice what so ever for her

[maxellminidisc]

I'm not even joking I'm going to start fucking killing

[maimreddwhite]

reunion and turnabout spoilers

ok if someone put a gun to my head and told me that i had to choose who i thought, in my opinion, was the most tragic and fucked up ace attorney character, i would without hesitation say mimi miney. her life was filled with so much tragedy, pain, and suffering that its insane.

first things first, she was working in a shitty abusive workplace for god knows how long. they were mistreating her, overworking her, and turner grey was definitely not a caring boss. being exposed to that on its own can fuck someone up, but theres even more.

they have overworked her and exhausted her to the point where she cant even think straight, to the point where she cant even do her job correctly. so, some medications get mixed up, and she has to slowly realise that the patients under her care were dying. she will now have to carry the weight of that for the rest of her life. the lives of the 14 people; as well as the 14 families and friends of those people.

along with this, she also had to deal with legal shit. interviewers, police, people blaming her, news reporters, people showing up to her work, grey trying to pin the blame on her even though he was the one who caused the whole thing.

now, even though your life is absolutely horrible at the moment, there are at least two good things. first of all, you have a younger sister who cares about you, and you have an expensive car that you probably worked for so long to get.

unfortunately, she looses both those facts simply because of how stressed out and exhausted she was. her sister, someone who shes spent the past two decades living with, someone her, as an older sibling, were at least partially responsible for, dies a horrible death in that fire. i would also like to add that ini miney had the shortest lifespan out of any ace attorney character in the entire franchise. she was literally 20 years old. she died very young.

mimi would definitely feel responsible for this as she refused to let ini take over driving for her, a mistake which seemed harmless enough, she didnt intend to kill anybody, but look where that landed her.

im not even going to get into the physical pain but having your entire fucking face burnt off sounds. painful!

anyway, you thought shes been through enough, and that this entire experience has probably done an insane amount of damage on her. but no, she wakes up in that hospital, alive, and she looks in the mirror and shes forced to relive the guilt of that incident, shes forced to carry a reminder of it, everywhere she goes.

now, just think for a second about how terrifying becoming your dead sibling is. first of all, she does not get a chance to grieve properly. everybody around her, her friends, family, everybody she knew, was grieving mimi miney. she would have to watch as everyone she knows cries for someone who, in her eyes, doesnt even deserve it. nobody mourns the person who is dead, and you are the only one who can miss ini. you cant talk about ini to anybody. naturally this would fuck up the grieving process just a little.

hopefully mimi liked inis friends because those were the people she would have to hang out with for ages on end, and what if ini had a partner? would mimi just have to continue a relationship she feels nothing about? she would have to take every aspect of her sisters life, even the aspects she hates, and that would basically be her entire life.

being forced to constantly be around things that remind you of death, and things that remind you of your sister probably did not do wonders for you either! fast forward about a year of living in this absolute misery, and your old boss, somebody who caused every terrible thing that youve gone through, someone yoyve tried to distract yourself from, has now come into your life.

hes, all of a sudden, asking her about spirit channeling and if she could reccomend any. why? because he wants to threaten mimi at gunpoint to sign something that absolves him of all responsibility. shes angry, of course, but she cant show it. she cant show anything. obviously, she accepts, and she panics. she wouldnt know what to do it the truth came out, because then she would have to face herself, her guilt, and what she did.

while shes murdering grey, i would like to point out that ini mineys face is the last thing turner grey ever sees. the woman that he played a big role in killing, she murders him.

anyway, after the trial, for the first time in an entire fucking YEAR she has the ability to be mimi miney again. in that past year, a lot of fuckedup and traumatising things happened to her, so the logical conclusion would be to get some therapy, try to heal from her grief, beco-oh wait shes in prison. she goes through trauma after trauma and the place where she ends up? fucking jail!!!!!!!!! my girl doesnt need jail she needs.......idfk but NOT THAT!!!

this concludes my...*cough*....SMALL RAMBLE on why i think mimi miney is a very fucked up and tragic character. also i am of the belief that turner grey deserved to die.

[introvertguide]

Abuse of Children Portrayed in Film

I like to use movies as an escape from the harshness of the real world and one of the things that I have learned about in my education is the effects on children when they are mistreated. I have a Masters Degree in Developmental Psychology and one of the hardest classes for me to handle was Abnormal Development in Children and Adolescents. We covered everything from dealing with dyslexia and ADHD to surviving severe abuse and loss at a very early age. We had guest speakers that ranged from people who had escaped genocide as children, to individuals who had been sold into prostitution by their parents, to people who had suffered severe abuse from their parents or guardian. I have heard stories that will stick with me forever and that is nightmare fuel that I don't want to share.

Because of my background education, I take note of the treatment and behavior of children and adolescents in the movies that I watch. There have been many great movies over the years that have depicted the suffering of children and it has always been difficult for me to deal with. There are more well known examples of films that focus on suffering but throw in more of a "sometimes we all suffer, even the children" message that demonstrate that kids aren't immune to great travesties (basically any film about The Holocaust). There are also well known films that show children "coming of age" through hardship (Annie 1982, Oliver! 1968) but end perfectly. There is a more current series of films that focuses entirely on a boy discovering a fantasy world that was robbed from him when his parents were murdered by a tyrant (Harry Potter series). But in this list I want to review some lesser known films that show examples of abuse. Even after all that I have seen and heard, the following list of films have affected me personally for one reason or another. Sometimes the children in these films endure and overcome their situation in the end. Sometimes these children do not survive or sadly remain in their misfortunes. To me, this can make the movie all the more powerful because of the incredible amount of pathos that endangering a child character can add. It can also make it a heart wrenching experience that is painful to watch. Here are some powerful films in which children suffer and the struggle is one of the main plot lines of the movie:

SPOILER WARNING AND VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISORY!!! I AM GOING TO GIVE AWAY THE PLOT TO THESE FILMS AND IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING THAT SOME OF THE PLOTS ARE DISTURBING!!! EITHER WATCH THE FILM IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS OR CHECK OUT THE FOLLOWING SUMMARIES IF YOU WOULD RATHER JUST HEAR WHAT HAPPENS SO YOU KNOW IF YOU WANT TO WATCH OR NOT!!!

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Sybil (TV Movie) 1976

I just recently saw this film after I had heard of the story in my abnormal development class almost 10 years ago. It is the story of a woman who developed multiple personalities to deal with a childhood in the care of an undiagnosed schizophrenic mother. The movie stars Sally Fields and is based on a true account of Shirley Ardell Mason and her treatment by psychologist Cornelia Wilbur. The acting in the film is overdramatic at times, but it definitely reminded me of some of the actual old videos of Shirley Mason and her sudden strange switches in personality when she was scared or anxious. Dr. Wilbur used hypnosis to actually introduce Mason to her alternate personalities and she was able to recognize her disassociative identity disorder and overcome it. It still hurts me to think that this person was mentally wounded so deeply by her parents that it basically shattered her into pieces in an effort to make sense of things.

Leon: The Professional 1994

I mention this film a lot because it is a heartwarming story of an assassin teaching a young orphan how to murder. It is the breakout role for Natalie Portman and it is just amazing. Leon is a "cleaner" that lives next door to an abusive and addictive family with a troubled girl named Mathilda. The father gets in trouble with the mob and some enforcers come by and slaughter most of the family while Mathilda is getting groceries. She returns during the massacre and realizes what is happening so continues next door and pleads for shelter. Leon takes her in and teachers her the trade and protects her from the men who want to finish her off. The movie was written and directed by Luc Besson and stars Jean Reno, Gary Oldman, and Natalie Portman. The suffering that this girl endures because of her parent's addictions hurts me, yet I have seen and enjoyed this film many times. I recommend watching when in the mood to be deeply affected by the trials of a little girl and the killer who protected her.

Kids 1995

This film came out when I was early in high school and bothered me greatly. It is a story by Harmony Korine, and one of his many attempts to capture the hopeless lives of unmotivated and unsupervised teens. These are young teens having unprotected sex, stealing money to do drugs, and attacking people in the park. I did not really go to these kinds of parties when I was that age (or ever really) and it has bothered me to think that adolescents would partake in this kind of behavior. It is hard for me to believe that these kids had the ability to mentally comprehend the consequences of their actions and some of the characters end up contracting HIV from each other. I would not recommend the film because it is a depressing day in the life that no youth should have.

Gummo 1997

I would not call this a good movie and I wouldn't really recommend it. It is another work by Harmony Korine and really details the depravity that can occur with unsupervised youths living in low socio-economic conditions. This movie is just depressing and motivated me to find something to motivate me into action. I got into both psychology and teaching, which has served me well for the past 20 years. It was this film that showed me how low the bar for quality of life could be, and I guess for that I am thankful. However, I still wouldn't recommend it.

Happiness 1998

This movie I didn't see right away but noticed it at the video store on many occasions. I final watched it when I was about 25 on the recommendation of a friend and one particular storyline greatly disturbed me. It is basically the story of 3 sisters that feel they should be happy and project a face of happiness, yet they are miserable and have horrible lives. One sister in particular is married to a psychiatrist who turns out to be a pedophile that rapes the friends of his young son. At one point rather early on in the movie, this man confesses to his son that he raped the boy's friends and that he would do it again. The son is so confused that he asks his father why he never raped him. It is so disturbing to me because I know the boys that were assaulted will be forever damaged and this boy who was not actually raped will be mentally scarred as well. The fact that there are people in the world that would harm children that way, recognize what they had done, and then know they didn't have the self control to stop themselves from doing it again is horrifying to me.

Lilya 4-Ever 2002

This film is deeply disturbing and I highly recommend never watching it. I will spoil it for you now so you never have to see it if you don't want. A 16-year-old girl named Lilya lives with her mother. The mom gets a boyfriend and the couple move to America and abandons Lilya with a neglectful aunt. The aunt movies into the old apartment of her sister and Lilya is forced to move out and become a prostitute to make money. A boy comes along and convinces her to move to Sweden to escape her life. When they arrive, this boy sells her to a pimp and she becomes a teenage sex slave. She almost escapes, but is then captured and beaten almost to death. She escapes again and this time commits suicide so she won't be recaptured. This movie is awful and changed my mind about giving every film a chance. I wish I could forget this film, but I can't. Perhaps it is just not for me, but this film presentation is definitely an experience that you won't soon forget.

The Kite Runner 2007

I read this book in my twenties and saw the film in my thirties and both affected me greatly. A well-to-do boy and his friend are in a kite battle competition and the friend is beaten and raped when he goes to retrieve a fallen kite. The well-to-do boy denies knowing what happened to his friend (he does know) and basically shames and abandons him. This action haunts the well-to-do boy for the rest of his life. How the boy who was raped is basically falling prey to blaming the victim is heartbreaking, and the lifetime of guilt of the other boy is pitiable. Neither boy was the actual attacker yet they both were the ones that suffered.

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There are many other examples of movies along these lines and could be found if you feel like suffering. I can't say that I would recommend them because they are very difficult to watch. Beyond just dealing with the content, it is rare to find child actors who can actually portray somebody who has truly suffered. The mix of bad acting and a depressing plot can make for a terrible movie going experience. The genre of movie involving suffering does exist, though, and it could be enjoyed (?) by some. Just not generally by me.

[helion-ism]

let’s talk about elucien

there are so many reasons why I love elain x lucien and why I think these two would not only be amazing together, but also why they belong together. one of those reasons is lucien’s sassy personality, which we already got a glimpse of in acotar (and that I miss terribly btw), and which is, in my opinion, exactly what elain needs in her life. we’re talking about lucien “your eyes are like stars, and your hair like burnished gold” vanserra. we know he’s got quite a big mouth, that’s how we got to know him, but we also know that mouth is exactly what’s gotten him into trouble before. case in point: the eye incident. lucien doesn’t mince his words and yes, that is one of the reasons why elain really needs to spend some more time with him. 

she has been coddled by not only her father, nesta, feyre, but also the entire inner circle, which has allowed her to live her life passively. yes, she killed the king of hybern, and good for her, but she did it because nobody else could have done it at that point in time. ever since the war ended, elain has not actively contributed to any plot matters, whether by choice or because someone else took the choice from her. azriel said in acosf, “there is an innate darkness to the dread trove that elain should not be exposed to.” even amren pointed out that elain is capable of defending herself, but for some reason, nobody let her even though elain said she would try to find it: “then I will find it. I might require some time to … reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” and yet,  by the end of the book, elain’s been barely in it and has not contributed at all. (I know some people claim there’s certain things already happening in the background, but honestly, I’m not satisfied with that development happening off page, so I can’t wait to finally go on her journey and actually see her do stuff)

this moment is crucial:

does it look like she is happy with the way the others treat her? not really. when nesta snapped at her, elain started laughing. that signals relief to me because nesta, the one who has always tried to protect elain the most (nesta baby Ilysm), is the one who suddenly lost her patience. elain needs somebody like lucien, somebody with a big mouth and sassy attitude, who can coax her out of that paralysis she’s been stuck in, a bit like nesta in this scene. additionally, the banter would be top tier. I want another “if I offer you the moon on a string, will you give me a kiss, too?” moment, please. god please. (elain blinks. “and where would you like that kiss?” — and lucien just loses his mind.)

another thing that lives in my head rent free is the fact that lucien has travelled almost everywhere and could introduce elain, who wishes to see more of the world (see: “elain had always wanted to visit the continent to study the tulips and other famed flowers”), to the different courts and the continent. I refuse to accept that we will not get to learn more about the other courts, for my sake, but also for elain’s sake. I want her to see the spring court at least once. I want her to go and see those tulips she’s dreamt of. I want her and lucien to discover the day court as a new home, which brings me to the next point. 

elain has been craving sunshine for some time now. there’s several quotes that emphasise her connection to sunshine/light, here are a few of my favourites: 

I marveled at it, actually — that those years of poverty hadn‘t stripped away that light from elain.

the suite was filled with sunlight. every curtain shoved back as far as it could go, to let in as much sun as possible. as if any bit of darkness was abhorrent.

she had been always so full of light. perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. to fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been. and now nothing remained.

what can I get you, elain? — sunshine.

elain doesn’t belong into the night court. feyre has found her family there, with rhys and the inner circle. nesta has found (or should I say accepted) cassian and found gwyn and emerie, her chosen sisters. but elain?

elain is somewhere in the background hiding with the twins and tending to gardens of the citizens of velaris. you can’t tell me that is satisfactory to you. she is currently ignoring her seer abilities, and the members of the inner circle are basically encouraging her to do so. the only time she’s been confronted lately was during that conversation with nesta and her reaction was not exactly what any of us readers would have expected, was it? that tells me there’s much more about her we don’t know yet, and I’m convinced we won’t know until she finally leaves and finds her own people, finds herself again and start dealing with everything that happened to her. elain must leave the night court, i.e. the darkness, behind in order to grow.

the same goes to lucien: he’s not at a place where he can just jump into a relationship or mating bond. he’s got so much stuff going on. lucien was forced to abandon his home and his abusive family, his “father” killed the fae he loved in front of his eyes, his best friend is an abusive pos who never appreciated him anyway, and neither has anyone in the night court. lucien is used because of his connections and because of the mating bond that ties him to elain, whether he wanted it or not. feyre knows he would never turn away from elain unless she explicitly wishes him to, and so she and rhys and the others use that to their advantage. it is smart, of course, but at the same time, they also keep important information about his own life from him that could change many, many things. so he’s spending his time with mortals in the human lands — a place where he as a fae really does not belong. 

lucien being the heir to the day court, well, to me, it feels like sjm is practically screaming it into our face: how could he find a home in the night court, the literal opposite to the day? darkness vs. light. and what about elain “he’d never once in the two years he’d known her found elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court … it sucked the life from her” archeron? just looking at the symbolism, not only do the quotes from above indicate that the night court cannot possibly be her home, but also very recent quotes from the latest book. elain is a side character in the night court. and so is lucien. they both need to leave in order to become main characters — and it doesn’t even matter that both are already crucial to the further plot of the series because how can they possibly contribute to it in a place where they are both kept down? 

mor said in acofas: “stay out of it. she’s not ready, and neither is he, no matter how many presents he brings.” and “let him figure out where he wants to be. who he wants to be. the same goes with her.” mor’s power is “truth”, whatever that means. but there you have it. they’re not ready to be with each other yet, and that’s okay. 

[elain and lucien are also connected not only because of the mating bond, but also because of the plot. lucien must know quite a lot about her and her sisters simply because of all the time he spent with their father. the father who made a bargain with koschei. koschei who put a spell on vassa. lucien is therefore tied to both papa archeron as well as koschei and vassa. elain, we know, is a seer, despite her not using her abilities (or is she, and we simply don’t know?). elain is (obviously) connected to her father, but also to koschei and vassa (remember those visions she had).]

now let’s get to the mating bond stuff, and I need to say this loud and clear: elain has always had and will always have one (1) true mate. there’s no such thing as “false mate” or even multiple mates. there has been no indication whatsoever. lucien is the mate the cauldron had given her when she was born. and elain is the mate the cauldron had given him when he was born. even when she was still human, they already belonged together — tied together by strings of fate. absolutely nothing will change this fact. should elain reject the bond, lucien will remain a part of her life/her soul forever. should lucien reject the bond, elain will remain a part of his life/his soul forever.

when she was still human, lucien had already felt a pull between them and tried to save and protect her from hybern. when elain was already fae, when it came to protecting her, azriel clapped cassian’s shoulder and left (is this the true mate they’re all talking about?). it’s unfair to lucien, elain, AND azriel and this comparison alone is enough to disprove this theory.

the thing is, lucien has been nothing but respectful, kind and caring towards elain. when he arrived in velaris in acowar, he could immediately sense what she needed and said, “she needs fresh air” (vs. the response “we’ll judge what she needs”) and “take her to the sea. take her to some garden. but get her out of this house for an hour or two.” (I’m gonna make another post about this because I have a few thoughts on this)

of course, she doesn’t owe him anything, but elain herself doesn’t wish to be treated like a child, she maybe she should start acting like an adult because although she doesn’t owe lucien an apology or explanation, she has to have a conversation with him, like two responsible adults. there is no way feyre or anyone in the inner circle hasn’t told her that she can reject the bond and move on with her life. but just like her powers, this is another thing she chooses to ignore. I’m not blaming her because I know she has to work through her trauma first and heal, but by the end of the series, she has to acknowledge that at least.

in acosf, elain says “I am not a child to be fought over” when they discuss the dread trove. I wonder what she would say about the fact azriel threatens to challenge lucien to the blood duel because of her? based on literally everything we know about lucien, I can say with certainty that he would not physically fight over elain. if she only had a conversation with him and told him to move on and leave her alone, lucien would do just that. he would leave her alone and try to move on as best as he could (which we know is difficult for males). but he would never act as entitled to her as to demand a blood duel and fight to death. it goes against his principles. 

to finish this off, sjm summing up everything I just said:

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

By Your Doorstep (Part 2)

Summary: Dean lets Sam in on a secret of his as to why he’s previously sworn off all dating before he and the reader go on their first one together. But it’s not just a simple first date when they realize they have more in common than they originally thought...

Pairing: Doctor/Neighbor!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 4,200ish

Warnings: language, mentioned past sexual assault (not graphic)/child abuse, talk about sex toys, self-worth issues

A/N: Enjoy!

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Dean’s POV

“Hey,” said Sam a little over an hour later as he walked in the front door. Dean nodded and put the pie he’d brought into the fridge, walking back over to take a seat on the other side of the wrap around couch. “Your eyes are red.”

“That’s what happens when you cry, genius,” said Dean. He sighed and pulled his blanket over himself, rolling his eyes when Sam got up and sat closer. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing was me being really sick when I was sixteen and shitting my pants and you didn’t say a damn thing about it other than you got me cleaned up. Dean nothing you can say will make me laugh. Fuck, I’m scared somebody…” said Sam.

“You’re gonna find out stuff about my sex life,” he said.

“You taught me about sex. Dean, I’m not gonna judge you.”

“I hooked up with a chick after work once. I had some meetings so I wore a dress shirt and tie that day. We got a room, it got heated, and my first mistake was letting her tie my hands to the headboard with that stupid tie. I shouldn’t have asked but I did. I must have been in a mood cause...I asked her to stick a finger up there cause it feels good with a blowjob. I told her the tip of a finger and she didn’t really seem to care when I told her to stop pushing inside with a dry fucking finger. She didn’t care when she shoved practically her whole hand up there no matter how much I told her to stop. Eventually once she realized my boner wasn’t coming back she washed up, untied me and left. I’ve always been leery of relationships but after that I said fuck no. Until I met this girl today. She seems sweet.”

Sam didn’t move and Dean threw his head back. 

“Say something.” 

“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” said Sam quietly. Dean risked a glance over at him and was surprised to see Sam’s scrunched up face. “Did you ever say anything?”

“No and I don’t want to. It was over two years ago. I honestly forgot about it until today and I met that girl,” said Dean.

“I hope she’s a good fit,” said Sam.

“Me too.”

“Just um, for the record, doing that stuff isn’t weird. I’ve had my share of experiences,” said Sam. 

“Thanks,” said Dean. “Don’t go on treating me any kind of way or anything, got it? This was a one time thing.”

“That’s what you said the last time,” said Sam before he gave Dean a hug. 

“Loser,” said Dean as he returned it. “You staying the night? It’s pretty late.”

“Yeah if you don’t mind,” said Sam as he sat back. He stretched and Dean looked him over. “What?”

“You were at the office, weren’t you.”

“So,” he said with a shrug. 

“Sammy you’re twenty seven. Friday nights are for fun or hanging out at home, not work. I told you I didn’t like that firm you work for.”

“It’s not a very kind place to work,” said Sam. “I’ve been thinking of leaving honestly, coming closer to home again.”

“Really?”

“I miss my friends, our friends. You’re alright too,” he said, Dean resisting the urge to tease him for it.

“Move in here. If you want your own place, you can find one with no rush. I wouldn’t mind company,” said Dean. “There’s plenty of law firms downtown. You’d have no problem getting a job.”

“I gotta stay another two months for them to finish paying off my loan,” said Sam. “But after that, yeah I think I’ll come back home. I just had to go out on my own without you watching my back, you know?”

“Yeah. I was still always watching your back though,” said Dean. “Don’t be trying to get me to eat all that healthy crap or I’ll kick your ass to the curb.”

“You are literally a doctor.”

“And doctors are literally the worst patients. Trust me,” said Dean with a smirk. “What kinda pie you bring me?”

“Blueberry,” said Sam.

“I gonna ruin whatever cleanse you’re on if you have a slice?” 

“You got ice cream?”

“Always were a sucker for ice cream,” said Dean. He hopped up from the couch and hummed as he went over to the kitchen, Sam watching and following after a moment. Sam took a seat at the counter while Dean put a plate in front of him, putting the ice cream on top of the pie how he liked it. “There you go.”

“Thanks,” he said before he dug in. Dean took his time with his own piece, leaning back against the counter. 

“Thanks for coming over tonight. Never told anyone before.”

“I’ll never say a word,” said Sam.

“I know you won’t, Sammy,” said Dean. He got out a pair of beers from the fridge and handed one to Sam with a smile. “You doing okay? Been awhile since we talked.”

“Mhm,” said Sam quickly.

“Want to tell me what it is? Whatever you’re not telling me? I think we established that-”

“Mom contacted me this week. At work. My number and picture was on the company website so she called there,” said Sam.

“What exactly did Mary have to say?” said Dean, setting down his plate and nursing his beer instead.

“She said she and dad have been together again for a few years. They went to couples counseling and dad stopped drinking and a whole bunch of other bullshit.”

“Wouldn’t happen to be the fact I’m a doctor and you’re a lawyer and her stay at home ass wants a nicer lifestyle, hm?” said Dean. “Tell her to shove it up her ass and to get a job if she wants money.”

“She sounded different, Dean. Like maybe she’s in trouble or something,” said Sam.

“That’s the same crap she pulled on you when you were eighteen and twenty one and twenty four and guess what, it’s three years later again. Time for her to lie to you, right on schedule.”

“She’s not the devil, Dean.”

“She slapped you in the face.”

“I was backtalking her. I deserved it.”

“You were an upset kid-”

“I was 14.”

“You were an upset kid and she hit you. That was the final straw for me and it should have been for you too,” said Dean. “You should stay away from her, Sam.”

“I’m not going to suddenly start hanging out with her. She just wanted to know if I’d consider meeting her and dad again and I told her I didn’t know and if I wanted to talk to them, I’d reach out, otherwise they could leave me alone. Happy?” Sam pushed his plate away and crossed his arms, pursing his lips while he stared at the counter.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, Sammy. I wish our parents were normal. I’d kill to have had them. But they weren’t and they sucked and they’ve tried to manipulate us our entire lives. Just keep no contact and you’re better off.”

“Why don’t they ever contact you?” Sam looked up and Dean turned his head.

“They hate me. I hate them so that’s fine,” said Dean. 

“But why-”

“I got custody of you. I took you from them in their eyes, ergo they hate me.”

“I mean, do you ever think about-”

“No. I don’t plan on speaking to either one of them for the rest of my life,” said Dean. He finished his beer and picked up his pie plate again. “I know you want-”

“I used to want a lot of things. It wasn’t what was best for me though and I shouldn’t have given you so much shit for taking me away as a teenager.”

“Well alright then,” said Dean, picking at his pie again. 

“You ever gonna tell me how exactly you pulled that off? It was handled outside of court and I know you gotta have some shit or something on them,” said Sam.

“Maybe I’ll share someday but not tonight,” said Dean, his voice firm. “Why don’t you grab another couple beers and we’ll throw on a movie, alright? Polish off this pie.”

“Alright. I’m stealing some of your clothes though. I want to get out of this office crap,” said Sam. He stood up and headed for the stairs when Dean grunted. Sam looked back over his shoulder and Dean nodded.

“I’m glad you came over tonight,” said Dean.

“Me too. This girl must have made a hell of an impression.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

Reader’s POV

“Tessa. Oh my God, it was fine the first time,” you said as she worked on your side braid again. “Dean’ll be here any minute.”

“Relax. Make him squirm,” she said. “How are you so shit at braiding hair anyways?”

“Cause mom never taught me, that’s why,” you said.

“I think it’s cause you’re just shit at it,” she said.

“You shouldn’t say shit all the time you know.”

“Seriously.”

“Just don’t do drugs and don’t get pregnant and I’m happy.”

“Well for the record, I’m a virgin,” she said.

“Good.”

“I actually do have a question.”

“You waited until I literally can’t move away, didn’t you,” you said as she moved your hair together.

“Yes, I did,” she smiled. “Um it’s kinda…”

“Go ahead and ask. I guarantee I had the same questions.”

“What’s a vibrator? One of the girls was talking about it in gym class and I didn’t...get it,” she said.

“Do you understand how girls masturbate?” you asked. She nodded and you bit your lip. “So you know how when you rub your...when you rub your clit it feels good, right? Some people like to use a vibrator which is normally a stick type thing that has different settings with a head end that’s rounded. If you put that against your clit, it can feel really, really good...and get you to orgasm pretty hard.”

“Oh. Okay,” she said as she finished with the braid. “So what’s a dildo?”

“Similar but basically a fake dick,” you said. 

“Uh, what?” she said as the doorbell rang.

“How about we talk about all this stuff tomorrow, okay?” you said.

“Okay. I’m still hung up on the fake dick thing.”

“Block it out of your head for now,” you said, shaking your head. “If I’m not back by the time you head to Hailey’s lock up and remember to bring Toast’s bed with you this time, okay? He likes it better than the hard floor.”

“I know, I know,” she said. You jogged downstairs and opened the door, Dean in a pair of jeans and a black tee shirt. 

“Howdy,” he said with a big smile.

“Hi Dean,” said Tessa out her window. 

“Hello Tessa,” he chuckled. “Torturing your sister today?”

“Always,” she said. “You two kids have fun now!”

“Oh you don’t even know what a fake dick is,” you said. “Do not go looking that up on the internet either.”

She groaned as you grabbed your purse and locked up, Dean laughing to himself.

“Sorry. She decided to literally start asking about sex toys right before you got here.”

“Sounds fun,” he said. You hopped down your steps and saw a very nice muscle car parked out front. “Hungry?”

“Starving.”

“I know the perfect place.”

“Okay, Winchester. I will respect your food truck game,” you said, munching on your taco. “Normally I’m leery but this is good.”

“Told you so,” he said. He took a big bite of his across from you, slurping down some lemonade. He burped and blushed, covering his mouth. “Excuse me.”

“You’re almost cute with that pink on your cheeks,” you said.

“I liked this better when you were the shy one,” he said. You smiled and ate quietly for a few minutes, Dean nodding when you were both finished. He took your hand and you started to walk around the big park in town, finding a walking trail after a few moments. “I like your hair. It’s cute.”

“My sister did it. I’m not you know, good at that stuff,” you said.

“I liked your hair yesterday too,” he said. “So how does one name a dog Toast?”

“I thought it’d be funny,” you said. “Tessa was on a limited diet at first at the hospital. Toast was the one thing she liked. When they talked to me about a service dog, I got in touch with some people and they were training a new litter so we got to name the dog and I picked Toast. It was just a goofy thing I suppose.”

“Is he always on duty?” he asked.

“No. His vest comes off at home and he’s a normal one mostly. Tessa’s staying with a friend tonight so he’ll go with her. He’s very protective of her. It’s why he ran home and got me yesterday.”

“Smart dog,” he said. “My brother always wanted a dog. It never quite fit with our life though.”

“How old is he?”

“A year younger than you. He might get one soon I think.”

“What about you?”

“I don’t think I’d be very good at it. My yard is big enough though,” he said. “I’m over on Fern Lane. The blue house.”

“You got that big cool balcony over the garage right?” you said.

“That’s the one,” he said. “I haven’t been there too long. It’s a nice neighborhood.”

“It is. We grew up here. I was out of the house but I moved back for Tessa. You from Lawrence?”

“Yeah. East side of town though. Always wanted to live over here,” he said. “Everything seemed so perfect over in the nice part.”

“Mostly,” you said. 

“It does get easier. Trust me.”

“I hope so,” you said. He bumped your shoulder and you smiled. “So what kind of doctor are you?”

“Obviously I’m a brain surgeon,” he said. You rolled your eyes and he laughed. “General family practice. I’m boring, I know.”

“That is still way too hard for me,” you said.

“I bet you could do it if you really wanted to. So what do you do? I overheard you say to Tessa you got a new job.”

“I was a paralegal at a law firm. On Monday I start as a junior investor at Sandover, the big marketing firm.”

“My friend Charlie is head of IT there,” he said. “She says it’s a pretty decent place to work.”

“Oh. That’s good. I hope it works out,” you said. 

“I bet it will. Just don’t let ‘em work you to death,” he said.

“I’m gonna try. I’m excited. This could be really good for us. Tessa doesn’t know how...tight things have been.”

“Leeman’s over on the east side, it’s a pretty cheap grocery store. It’s not fancy but we used to go all the time as a kid. Way cheaper than the box store over here,” he said.

“I’ll have to check it out,” you said. You looked him up and down, Dean smiling to himself. “You grew up kinda…”

“Poor? Yeah. It’s okay. It’s not a bad word,” he said. He ran his thumb over your hand and you smiled back at him. “You learn to get by. My brother’s a lawyer now so we don’t have to worry about that too much now.”

“Maybe Tessa’ll be a doctor,” you said. “That’d definitely help us.”

“I’m sure she’ll do something good. You can just tell she looks up to you. She won’t let you down.”

“Fingers crossed,” you said. “So why choose general medicine?”

“Thanks,” you said, sticking your arms through Dean’s flannel later that evening.You took his hand again, walking through downtown back towards his car.

“I don’t remember the last time I spent a Saturday like this, hanging out with someone,” he said.

“Been a while for me too,” you said.

“Is this still considered the first date?” he asked.

“Probably. Why?”

“You want to come over my place...for coffee?” he asked. 

“Oh.”

“No, no. I mean like, literal coffee. I have pie at home and...if I was talking sex I’d be a big boy and just ask,” he said.

“Oh. Well in that case, sure,” you said. “Guys that want sex on the first date normally don’t end up getting a second one in my experience.”

“Well I definitely want a second one,” he smirked. “Also I really want some pie and I need to know your pie stance because this could impact the future of this relationship greatly.”

“I see,” you laughed. “I like a man who knows where his priorities lie.”

“Damn straight I do,” he said. He threw his arm over your shoulders and chuckled. “It’ll knock your socks off, I guarantee it.”

“Alright, this is pretty good,” you said twenty minutes later as you sat at Dean’s kitchen counter, munching on a piece of blueberry pie. 

“Told you so,” he said. He ate another forkful, getting some whipped cream stuck on the tip of his nose. He didn’t notice and started to giggle as you stared at him. “What’s that face for goofy?”

“You got a little…” you said, reaching over and wiping it off with your thumb. You licked if off and he blushed for probably the tenth time that day. “You don’t strike me as shy around women, Dean.”

“Normally I’m not. You make me nervous. Good nervous but still nervous.”

“What about me is so intimidating?” you asked, stealing a tiny piece of his pie. 

“You remind me of me. I’ve been in similar shoes to yours. I know how easy it is to get set off and how people don’t realize you don’t mean what you’re saying.”

“Pushing people away you mean.”

“I don’t want to get pushed away or cross a line.”

“Tell me a secret and I’ll tell you one of mine,” you said.

“I took custody of my brother when I turned eighteen,” he said. You stared at him, Dean nodding. “My mom walked out when I was a kid more than once and my dad was...unkind at times. I protected my brother from it as much as I could. When I was able to, I left and I was given guardianship of my brother. I’ve not seen either of my parents since. I understand raising your younger sibling when you are scared shitless. Most people don’t. They don’t get that I’m still fucked up from the stuff that happened as a kid and when I took in my brother. People don’t get that, not all the way. Not even my best friends or my brother. But you have this look and I know you understand the same way I do so I’ll be nervous because I like you more than just because you’re pretty and helpful and a good sister. You get some part of me that I don’t talk about and it’s the part of you that you don’t talk about and maybe we can make that work.”

You leaned forward and kissed him, Dean sliding a hand to your cheek, a soft but comforting weight to it.

“What’s your secret,” he said quietly, your forehead resting against his.

“I lost my job,” you said. “I lied to Tessa. She worries so much already and I can’t let her know the truth. I’ve been working as a cashier the past month.”

“Y/N, you gotta tell her the truth.”

“She already feels guilty because our parents were picking her up from basketball practice when the accident happened. She goes to therapy, Dean. I can’t tell her. Not now.”

“Can you afford to stay in the house?”

“It’s almost paid off. She can afford four years at the university with my share of the inheritance.”

“Y/N. You can’t go bankrupt just to send her to a university.”

“Lots of people do.”

“Y/N. I practice general medicine because the state pays off my student loan debt if I do. You have to tell Tessa the truth about what’s realistic.”

“My seventeen year old sister currently makes more money than I do. I can’t take anything else from her. She deserves to go to the school she always wanted to.”

“Well...we need a new lab tech at work. Do you want it?” he asked.

“Dean, I’m not asking for a job.”

“I’m not giving charity either. You have a degree, you’re smart and I know you could do it. I don’t know the pay but it’s got to be better than minimum wage.”

“Dean.”

“Someone helped me. I was an eighteen year old kid with a part time job and I had no idea what I was doing. Someone helped me and it gave me a chance to live, to have all this. It’s not charity. It’s decency and everyone deserves that.”

“Never tell my sister,” you said.

“If you take the job I won’t.”

“Okay,” you said with a nod. “This was a more fun date a few minutes ago you know.”

“But now we’re really starting to know one another,” he said. You were quiet, playing with your fork for a beat.

“Can I stay over? I don’t like sleeping in the house alone.”

“Of course,” he said. You flicked your eyes up, Dean offering you a smile. 

“How do you get happy again?”

“Having a stranger run by shouting about toast helps,” he said. You rolled your eyes and he shrugged. “I’m not joking.”

“Why are you single?”

“I’m more complicated than I look at first glance. I’ve been told it’s not an attractive quality.”

“Well fuck whatever bitch said that.”

“I really like you,” he chuckled.

“I have my moments,” you said. You sat back, Dean pushing the bit of pie left on his plate around. “Was that too much...me sharing that.”

“No. I’m glad you did,” he said. “You want to watch something?”

“Whatever you want is fine.”

“Come on,” he said. He showed you upstairs and gave you some clothes to sleep in before he showed you outside to the balcony over the garage. “I sit out here at night sometimes.”

“It’s gorgeous,” you said. You settled down into an oversized chair with him, looking up at the dark sky.

“Yes, it is,” he said as he looked in your direction. 

“So what’s your favorite kind of pie?”

“Oh well if you want to go down that road I can chat your ear off all night.”

“Good morning,” said Dean as you made your way downstairs. You yawned and gave him a smile, Dean handing you a cup of coffee.

“Much appreciated.” You took a long gulp, stretching out and taking a deep breath. “What time is it?”

“After ten. We stayed up pretty late talking,” he said.

“I guess we did,” you said, rubbing the back of your neck. “Can I have your phone for a sec?”

“Sure,” he said. You put in your number and handed it back.

“Text me sometime,” you said.

“I think I’ll take you up on that,” he said. “I gotta run and do a few chores this morning but I’m having a few friends over later to watch football if you and Tessa would like to join.”

“You really want my sister hanging out with us?”

“Yeah. As long as she’s like, not a devil worshipper or doesn’t like pie she’s always welcome.”

“Only you would categorize those two things together,” you laughed.

“I am quite serious about my pies.”

“Oh I learned that last night,” you said. “I’ll invite her. She’s seventeen though so not sure how much fun she’ll have.”

“There’ll be a couple guys her age if-”

“She’ll definitely be there then,” you said.

“Great. Let’s have some breakfast quick before I drop you off at home.”

______

A/N: Read Part 3 here!

[falsebooles123]

Dairy of a Horror Buff 8.24.22

So since this thing is actually called a diary I might as well right in it.

So since I have a little money left over from my paycheck I bought cuphead DLC!!!! Yassss. now I can spend even more time being obsessed with this game. because I am sad a lot.

wow there is a surprising lack of Cuphead gifs on this good christian website.

also for complicated reasons I need to get a new car maybe!!!! luckily I have been saving up for this so I'll be fine but who wants to spend there savings.

so lets watch some short films to relax.

A Free Ride (1915) dir. A. Wise Guy

CW: SMUT

ok so I was bored last night and was like hmmmmmmmmmm I wonder if theres any short films in the Adult Film section of Letterboxd. and the answer is yes. So A Free RIde, along with Am Abend and El Satario, are all extant examples of what was known as Stag Films which was basically underground smut that was shown at fraturnities because obviously porno theaters weren't around yet.

A Free Ride kinda works like theres dick and titty but at the same time this movies from the 1910s and its a little hard to relate to what hot and whats not from back then.

Overall kinda cool.

Cravings (2019) dir. Kim Mcmahon

OK so this is another student animated film which I absolutely love that I was able to find out about this from letterboxd.

A woman wakes up after a night of partying. You watch as she appears to have caught some sort of bug as the voicemessages her boyfriend leaves her become more and more concerned.

Badass Watch this.

The Sad Man dir. Jake Lava

CW: Self-Hard, Child Death

Ok so this is another one of those animated films that I've seen years ago before I ever had a letterboxd. I don't really know how to describe this film. Basically its a little bit like if No-Face from spirited away lived in a bombed out city in northern russia.

Ugh I love this little hungry bitch.

Amy (2010) dir. Karlijn Scholten

CW: Gore, Child Abuse (Implied)

Youtube autoplay strikes again. So this is yet another little animated film that I remember watching on Youtube.

Essentially a little girl lives ina house with a big bad wolf type. shenanigans, (murdering her abuser) happens.

this is such an enjoyable and delightfully fucked up film please watch it if your able to.

This Must Be The Place (2022) dir. Merlin Camozzi

OK this is somebodies fetish.

Essentially this film is about a women who wants to joining a coven the intitiation seems to involve a bunch of angry butch woman causing her indelible pain and then just slapping her.

which like girl if thats what your into go off I guess.

The witches are also like a group of petty criminals who all live together so yeah thats pretty gay.

Koko's Haunted House (1928) dir. Dave Fleischer.

Ok so the fact that his illistrator has a toothbrush mustache is wild not because its the hitler stache but just because I can't imagine a single person it would have looked good on.

watching these really early fleischer cartoons you can definetly see how much there style and quality improved over the next few years. This is while not a Out of the Inkwell Cartoon its spiritual sibling. Koko the Clown winds up in a haunted house and spends most of his time in a scooby doo hallway with some dog while occasionally popping into a room for a sight gag.

plot wise this film is kinda lax but its another one to add to the pile.

The Fall of the House of Usher (1928) dir. James Sibley Watson, Melville Webber

so the original fall of the house of usser deals with a man who goes to visit a friend of his at his ancestual home which just so happens to have a big ass crack in the walls. Just before he gets there however his hosts sister has passed and the host is convinced her revenant is pacing the walls of her sepulcher.

I don't really remember what the entire vibe of the piece was its probably some thinly veiled incest shit. Lannister style. Oh also the entire house falls into the moors.

So this film as far as I can tell is completely silent as in no spoken dialogue. It is also the most aestetic thing that I have seen in a hot minute. It turns out when people didn't have to worry about writing tight dialogue these feature freeks were like bruh what if we were in a kolaidiscope. Theres probable a term for this kind of film, with its expressive lighting its emphases on expansive geometric architeture, the use of mirror and bokah effects. wait dadaist. Is that what I;m thinking cause the art style reminds me a lot of cool beans movie the ballet machinique.

This version of the film however seems to focus on the eternal state of the host feels guilty over the death of his sister. Theres no words and it is very abstract but I lokey love this. Its so artsy and dramatic and I really hope that I can see more of these kinds of film in the future.

The Case of the Stuttering Pig (1937) dir. Frank Tashlin

OK so this is an early Porky Pie Cartoon because I know your OBSESSED with all these fucking cartoon characters. In this one hes chilling his with his siblings when there uncle lawyers come by and is like oh by the way the will says that if all of you are say horrible murdered in a freak accident I get the millions of dollars in inheritance but like that wouldn't happen its not like I'm gonna go into the murder basement underneath the house and drink some Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide juice and then put you in stocks and gut you like the pigs you are. HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

That would be hilarious.

anyway that is exactly what happens.

But also the fucking lawyer literally stops in the middle of what hes doing and just calls out some pasty wimp in the third row, which like bruh don't break the forth wall like that. But then that bloke just goes up and packs a wallop and honestly good riddence to mr. Lawyer Man.

Il Caso Valdemar (the facts in the Case of M. Valdemar) (1936) dir. Ubaldo Magnaghi, Gianni Hoepli

In the early 19th century Mesmerism was taking the world by storm. Casually Scientist Franz Mesmar came up with a lot of things but the thing that really took off was Mesmerism which is essentially an early form of hynopsis. At the beginning it was nothing more than a fun parlor trick that the rich and bored would engage with. over time however this simple action began to draw the attention of spiritulist and the more scientific sort who were also interested in the world unseen.

it was then in 1845 that Edgar Allen Poe wrote this story. A mesmerist puts a man dying of turbercolisis into a hynotic trance the only issue is that after the man is clinical dead some form of consciousness remains. The body is kept in its hynoptic coma for months on end. until the doctor finally releases him from the spell which at that point the body instantly decays.

The thing I really enjoy about these short films is the amount of style that goes into them. theres a lot of dynamic angles and everyone is wearing just so much eyeliner because of the lighting.

This film also features what I am assuming is meant to be autowriting but I may be misunderstandingthe visuals here. It also doesn't help that the letters are written in italian.

I do like this film but I'm not sure if its my favorite adaptation of the story. Tales of Terror also did a segment on this story and that one for me really gets the plot across better.

I fell like one of the issues with these short films is that we're expected to know the story thats being referenced which ok Yes I do as I am once again a rather big poe fan but I can't say that for the uninitiated.

Through I'm horrible curious to know why Poe in particular was having such a resurgence at this time.

Toby the Pup in Halloween (1931) dir. Dick Huemer, Sid Marcus

OMG you know Toby The Pup, the one that was produced by RKO pictures, you know it was like a super popular series with 12 whole shorts.

so yeah I can't really say whether or not this character was super popular or not but I can judge it harshly now.

To be honest I dont know if I love this. Toby and co have this kinda ms. Pacman vibe to them. like its round bodies and a face which is just a bit much.

Remember when Anita Sarkesian called Ms. Pacman a sexist depiction of objectification. As if she isn't the most regal queen who slays everytime she walks outside. I mean why do you think theres so many ghosts around her.

yeah so the plot is pretty basic. Toby the Pup is a sex pest, he plays a meh song on the piano and then some ghoalies crash the party this was kinda meddling to be honest.

Ok folks thats the end of todays adventure I need to go do some yard work or something.

[gamerwoo]

[Tales from the Pack] Chan: Homewrecker (Part Four)

Characters: Chan x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, fantasy, angst, mention of attempted suicide, mentions of abuse, a tiny bit of fluff at the end

Word count: 2,410

Summary: Chan caught your attention as soon as your eyes met across the market. Something about him drew you to him, and you knew you were meant to be. However, you were already taken and arranged to be married on your next birthday, so you could never be together.

Previous | Next | Homewrecker Masterlist

“No,” Soonyoung stated.

Chan gave the alpha an incredulous look, “What do you mean ‘no’?”

“She’s engaged to the mayor’s son, Chan,” Soonyoung explained, rubbing his temples as he tried to figure out how to go about all this. “We can’t kidnap her, the entire town will be out hunting us. That fucking twerp already has hunters out in the woods every goddamn night.”

“Seungcheol would say--”

“Well I’m your original alpha; your real alpha,” Soonyoung snapped before the younger wolf could even finish his sentence. “Before we found them, I was the one who watched out for you.”

“Jihoon and Seungcheol are my alphas now too,” he stated. “I’d rather listen to them if they tell me I can save _____.”

“Ah, so you have selective obedience now? Fantastic. Well, if you get yourself arrested or tortured or murdered, you’ll know why.”

“I’d do any of that if it meant saving _____ from Donghae!”

Soonyoung sighed deeply, letting his head drop against the kitchen table, “Chan, you didn’t even tell her she’s your mate. You can’t just assume she’d want to stay with you.”

Chan frowned, getting more and more angry with the alpha by the second, “What do you know? You’ve never even had a mate!”

“You’re right, Chan!” Soonyoung stated, slamming his palms down on the smooth surface as he lifted his head up and smiled angrily at Chan. “You are absolutely right. I wish I had one so I wasn’t going out every other night just trying to find my mate, but we don’t always get what we want, do we? Ask Joshua about it, he knows better than anybody. In fact, if you act impulsively, _____ is going to end up like Lilly, too!”

Chan’s mouth closed, his jaw set as his eyes darted to the floor. He knew Soonyoung was right, and he also knew he shouldn’t have said what he said. He didn’t realize the alpha was so lonely and that was why he slept around. He thought maybe he just had a really high sex drive or something, honestly.

“Soonyoung, I’m--”

“I understand your frustration, Chan,” Soonyoung said, his voice much calmer now. “I know you want to protect her, but we need to wait until we have a solid plan. Especially with that tracker on her, we can’t do anything.”

“Her birthday in two weeks,” Chan reported, glancing up to look at the alpha. “Do you think we’ll have a plan by then?”

“Absolutely,” he nodded. “We’ll just need help.”

“Help?” Jia spoke up as she entered the kitchen, one arm hooked through Minghao’s while her other held her cane. “Help with what?”

“Chan’s mate is in a bit of trouble, and we need to get her out in two weeks time,” Soonyoung explained, giving a quick synopsis of the situation. “The problem is she’s engaged to the son of an important man in town, and she’s being tracked.”

“Tracked?” Minghao repeated, settling his mate down in a chair. “Tracked by who?”

“No, they…” Chan trailed off, not even wanting to think about what Donghae did to you.

“Her asshole fiancé put a tracker in her,” Soonyoung spoke up in place of the upset pup. “We need to get her out without anybody knowing.”

Minghao sucked in a sharp breath, “Ouch…”

“We’ll definitely need the assistance of Shua at the very least,” Soonyoung said, already trying to think of a plan. “I don’t know how he’ll feel going into town, though. After Lilly, he doesn’t like going unless he absolutely has to.”

“If it’s to help somebody, I think he’ll do it,” Jeonghan shrugged with a nod. “Especially if it’s to help a mate.”

“Who’s Lilly?” Eunjin wondered, suddenly appearing in the doorway to the kitchen.

The banshee was almost like a ghost, nobody even hearing her walk over or knowing she was listening, but she just appeared out of seemingly nowhere. Although, it was sometimes funny because she’d even catch the werewolves off guard and make them jump.

Soonyoung looked at Minghao, then Chan, then his eyes flashed up at the ceiling, knowing Joshua could probably hear them, “Ah…story for a different time. Is anybody hungry? I can make breakfast.”

“Everybody who can remotely cook is asleep,” Minghao pointed out. 

“Eh, it’s fine,” the alpha waved the concern away as he stood up from his seat. “Jia, how’d you sleep last night? Anything interesting happen?”

The blind girl let out a soft sigh, resting her chin on her palm, “Wonwoo had another nightmare, and Junhui had his bird dream again.”

“…Bird dream?” Chan repeated, quirking an eyebrow.

“Junhui has a reoccurring nightmare about a giant bird trying to feed him to its young,” Minghao explained, holding back a laugh. “Now he’s terrified of birds.”

“There’s also Josh’s dreams about Lilly,” Chan noted. “She says he dreams about Lilly a lot.”

“Seriously, who is Lilly?” Seungkwan’s mate pushed, wanting to know about the girl she’d never heard about. “You don’t have to tell me everything, I just want to know who she is. I have...a...feeling.”

“Feeling?” Jia repeated curiously, eyes darting over to where she’d heard Eunjin’s soft voice.

Soonyoung shrugged, “Eunjin’s part of the pack now. Might as well tell her.”

Minghao let out a deep sigh, running his slender fingers through his hair as he sat down beside his mate, “Lilly was Joshua’s mate.”

“Was?”

“She…passed away,” Chan replied awkwardly. “Joshua doesn’t like anybody talking about it, but that’s basically all you need to know.”

“Don’t werewolves die without their mate?” she wondered, settling in a chair and curling her knees to her chest.

“If their mate dies, a werewolf has another chance to find another mate. The heartbreak, though…” Minghao trailed off, remembering how awful it was to see Joshua that way.

“It’s difficult to live through,” Soonyoung continued where his brother had left off. “It makes you depressed as hell, but it won’t kill you like being denied will. I can’t even tell you how many times Joshua tried to kill himself because of it. The pain is too much to deal with.”

As the older wolves spoke, Chan just listened and thought about what Soonyoung had said. If Chan did anything wrong, you could end up like Lilly. Just imagining anything like that happening to you made his inner wolf whine softly. But the two werewolves just chalked it up to him being upset over their dead sister.

“I think that’s enough about her for now,” Soonyoung decided after hearing Chan’s whimper. “Back to breakfast. You’re all growing boys and girls.”

Chan just rolled eyes, trying to get out of the negative headspace, “Soonyoung, we’re all adults.”

Soonyoung turned around, pointing at the youngest with the tip of the knife he held in his hand, “No, you and Eunjin are our babies. So sit down and be quiet, pup.”

-

Donghae knew nothing of your meeting with Chan last night -- which you thought you had dreamed, honestly. The only reason you knew it was real was because he had left a note, promising to meet you again tonight. 

Once you managed to get yourself out of bed despite the aches in your body, your mother flashed you a worried look. You knew your family did care about your well-being, but their fear of Donghae’s power outweighed their care for you. Therefore, you felt they didn’t truly care enough about you at all.

Maybe Chan’s promise to get you out of there wouldn’t be so bad. In fact, you trusted the boy much more than anybody else at this point.

“Donghae requested to see you, _____,” your mother told you as she kneaded dough for bread, flour coating her apron, and making patches on her cheeks. “Do you need your father to escort you?”

“No,” you laughed dryly, knowing Donghae would know if you arrived without veering off course anyway, “I’ll be fine.”

“What’s so funny?” she wondered, pausing her actions to give you her full attention.

“Nothing,” you replied, shaking your head. “I’ll be back later.”

You slipped on some shoes before leaving the house, making sure the door was closed behind you before you let out a groan. Why would Donghae want to see you? Hadn’t he done enough? He’d left you alone after he hit you so what made him feel the need to bring you back all of a sudden? You didn’t have any answers he was looking for, so you were basically useless to him.

As you walked to his house, you made sure to avoid the marketplace, knowing he’d get upset if he saw you going through there even if it was just to get to his house faster. Instead, you went around, grumbling unhappily to yourself about how ridiculous he was.

You truly hoped Chan could save you from this life.

Before you could even knock on Donghae’s door, he opened it with a toothy smile that seemed too happy, “Ah, _____! I’ve been expecting you.”

“I know,” you muttered, but he didn’t catch it as he had turned away to walk back into his house. “Is there a reason?”

“Do I need a reason to see my dear fiancée?” he wondered, his voice laced with a charm that would’ve had any girl swooning.

Any girl except the one who knew what he was really like.

“No, I suppose not,” you replied, knowing if you talked back to him, you’d definitely be in for it.

He paused at the bottom of the stairs, turning to face you as he held an arm out to you, apparently wanting to take your hand, “I thought I could share something with you. Do you happen to know of Kang Soomin?”

Your brows furrowed as you cautiously took his hand, letting him lead you up the stairs to his office, “I believe so, yes.”

You knew Soomin was a kind girl who lived alone on the very edge of town. She used to live with a kind old woman -- strange, but that gave her charm -- until she unfortunately passed away. You used to see the pretty girl alone in the market, but you hadn’t seen her for a long time. So you were curious as to why Donghae brought her up so suddenly.

Donghae’s house had many stories to it considering his father was very wealthy, so he brought you to one of the windows that faced the direction of Soomin’s cottage. Even with her house being on the edge of town, you could clearly see the large pile of black ash from where you were.

You tried not to show any emotion, your gasp getting caught in your throat.

“She had run off with one of the brothers of your little...friend,” Donghae told you, his voice low and menacing as he stared out at what used to be Soomin’s house. “We had caught her and her mate before, but they escaped. Nobody knows where they went, but I can assure you that they will be found.”

He looked at you, expecting a response. You just nodded, not wanting to anger him more. If he thought you were on their side, he’d have you killed for sure.

“This is what happens to those who hang around with those monsters,” he warned. “It happened to Soomin, and it’ll happen to that pack and their disgusting mates when the hunters find them.”

“Good,” you gulped, unable to tear your eyes away from the ash. You had no idea that was what happened to Soomin, but you hoped she managed to get away safely, and that the pack had been protecting her, but you’d never say that to Donghae. “Werewolves are…bad…”

‘Very convincing, ___,’ you thought to yourself, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything awful about Chan.

“Of course they are,” he agreed, giving you a skeptical look. “You’d know better than anybody, wouldn’t you?”

As you finally turned away from the awful view to look at your fiancé, who was an even worse view, all you could think was, ‘I sure do.’

-

As promised, Chan showed up again that night. This time, though, he brought you ice wrapped in cloth; lots and lots of ice in cloth. You were sure you needed ice packs for your cheeks considering how warm they felt when he made you lay down so he could place them on your bruises.

“So,” he began once you were relaxed onto the bed, “we have a plan.”

“Already?” you asked, surprised the pack had managed to come up with a way to save you in one day. “That was…fast.”

“You said you get married two weeks from now,” he stated, kneeling on the floor, and resting his arms on the edge of your bed. “The night before, we’re coming to get you exactly at midnight. It’ll be the morning of your birthday, so we need to get you out of here before the ceremony. We just need the spare time until then to...figure some things out.”

You frowned, “Midnight? How will we manage?”

“We have fantastic eyesight,” he flashed you a cocky grin. “Plus, I’m quite fast. I’ll get you out of here in no time with a little help from my pack.”

“What about the tracker?” you asked slowly, almost forgetting the square chip in your arm.

Now, Chan was frowning, “Well…we’ll have to get it out.”

Your face contorted like you were already uncomfortable, “...How bad will it hurt?”

“We’re cutting open your arm and taking something out of it,” he sighed, not liking the idea of you being in pain. Quickly, he added, “But one of my brothers can heal you! It’ll only hurt for a minute, and then he’ll make it feel better. I promise.”

“I’ll do anything if it means getting out of here,” you admitted, your eyes looking toward the ceiling now. “There’s nothing worse than Donghae.”

“_____,” Chan’s voice was quiet and soft when he spoke to you again, but it grabbed your attention as if he had shouted, “if he ever hit you again…you’d tell me, right?”

“Would you want me to tell you?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

He was silent for a moment, just staring at you, “I just do.”

“Okay,” you nodded, “I’ll tell you.”

He smiled softly, a soft grumble sounding in his chest. He stroked your hair back, changing the subject, and talking with you until you finally fell asleep, listening to the sound of Chan’s voice.

[iheartsunset]

Papa Louie Scarlett HCs

-Rosabella Ocampo is a 23 year old singer/songwriter and graduate school student who lives with her fiancé, Rudy, in a Powder Point condo. She is widely known by her legal/stage name, Scarlett Heart and is the lead singer/songwriter of Scarlett and the Shakers. While punk ska and playing gigs with her friends are her true passion, Scarlett plans to become a game theory professor in the future. She can mostly be seen writing lyrics for a new song, riding roller coasters with Rudy, climbing trees with Clover, and just vibing with Marty.

-Scarlett is rather bold and seductive, often playfully flirting with others or making jokes about inappropriate topics. I stole this from Rouge, thanks SnapCube fandub for revitalizing my love for Sonic. Alongside her flirtatiousness is her intelligence and desire to succeed, using rules and lessons that she learned from various games to apply to her daily life. Thanks to her love of poker and mahjong, Scarlett has grown to be very analytical and sly in her motives. Out of the shakers, she is undoubtedly the big sister friend as she’s kind of a bad influence on the rest of them and is always subjected to scoldings by mom friend, Janana.

-Rudy calls her “Princesa” because of her Cinderella-like backstory. Her mother was a very kind woman and Scarlett lived happily with her and her father. Her mother died in a roadside construction accident when Scarlett was only 9, leaving Scarlett heartbroken. Her father then married a woman named Moira with two sons, Graham and David, who was emotionally abusive towards Scarlett until she moved out at age 16. Scarlett’s relationship with her dad deteriorated over time and she’s basically disowned them since. She finds solace in Marty and Clover’s parents, who think of Rudy and Scarlett as their own. She also got along with the other Frostfield residents and helped Willow get back into hockey after her infamous car accident (the first one).

-Stan Twitter often makes memes of her because she’s so iconic and quotable. One of her most iconic moments was when she screamed “I wrote this next one about my bitch ass stepmom. Moira, if you’re listening, your hair is limp and you fucking suck!” at the VMAs.

-Music was her escape as a child, hence why she learned to sing and play multiple instruments. However, her stepmother made her play the violin in the school orchestra as opposed to being allowed in a punk rock band. Even though she was concertmaster and first chair, she hated life so badly. Scarlett can play the guitar, bass guitar, violin, cello, drums, the trumpet, the saxophone, the bassoon, the piano, the xylophone, the harp, the flute, the recorder, the French horn, the clarinet, i didn’t even list all of them and I’m tired already. When one of the other shakers has lead vocals on a song, she’ll take over playing their instrument.

-Scarlett met Rudy during their shared freshman year of high school. Hazelnut High’s orchestra department had its annual field trip to Powder Point (based off my actual orchestra field trip!). Scarlett decided to sneak away from her snobby classmates and teachers and have the time to herself. On one particularly large roller coaster, she sat next to a boy with a Mohawk who told her that since he was a Powder Point native, he could more than handle it. He then proceeded to cry the entire time while holding her hand. They realized how much they had in common and kept in contact even after her trip was over. Their relationship is super lovey dovey, yet chill at the same time. Couple goals, but not on the level of Prudence x Cooper x Taylor.

-The shakers got together during the 23rd season of Flipline’s Got Talent. After the shocking elimination of Taylor Morales in the quarterfinals, the remaining acts were merged together. Scarlett and Rudy and Marty and Clover were two sets of pairs merged together. They all got along beforehand and loved Scarlett’s songwriting, so they all wrote an original song together for the finals. Even though they were fan favorites and had lots of support from the audience, Bill and Boopsy’s amazing ventriloquy act was what won the show, with the upset Shakers coming in second place. Afterwards, they were approached by Janana who offered to become their agent, and all they’ve known since was success. Fun fact: Rudy wouldnt accept Clover and Marty into their act unless they beat him and Scarlett at poker. They did.

-The shakers each can speak multiple languages, with Scarlett being able to speak fluent English and Tagalog, Tagalog being her native language (Filipino gang!). She can also speak some Spanish, Japanese, Arabic, Hindi, and Gaelic because she hangs around the other Shakers and Janana so much.

-All of the food, drinks, clothes, and personal belongings Scarlett loves are various shades of red. Cherries, longanisa, red wine, and candied strawberries are her favorite. Her entire wardrobe? Red. Her LED lights? Red. It honestly scares Rudy how red everything is.

-Her voice would either be Jessica Sanchez from American Idol or Gwen Stefani from the No Doubt era. She also covers a lot of No Doubt songs during their concerts. Speaking of covers, the shakers like to sing classic rock songs as well as modern day hits. Scarlett has the vocal range to do Ariana and Mariah Carey justice.

-Her and Marty are best friends. They’re both on the same wavelength and will most likely have the same reaction to memes, like word for word the same reaction. They usually have to get Rudy and Clover out of trouble most days. I love their chaotic, yet chill energy, like the types that just sit and observe and quietly make funny comments to each other.

-She determines whether she likes you or not based off of how good you are at mahjong or poker. If you suck enough to let her win, she’ll love you forever but if you match her in ability, she’ll respect you but kinda fear you as well. If you refuse to play altogether, she hates you. She’s a game theory student, so playing any board game with her is grounds for disaster because she’ll use her weird psychology and tricks to win all the time. Ironically, she sucks at video games. Even though she loves games of chance, she’s hugely against casinos and betting, instead trading small trinkets like food or makeup.

-At the Cheeseria, she set up a poker table, a mahjong table, and a pool table for the entertainment. They unfortunately had to get rid of the Uno table because somebody (ahem, Jojo) got a little too heated over a match with Papa and Wally. And by “got a little too heated”, I mean that Jojo literally got in a fist fight with Papa and lost.

-All she watches are telenovelas. Don’t ask about The Office or Game of Thrones, all she knows is stuff like Rubi and Maria la del Barrio.

-She doesn’t like musical theater except for Phantom of the Opera. She has taken a few roles as Kim in Miss Saigon, but secretly regrets it because musical theater is so much harder than just a regular concert. She still respects theater actors, but will never again sit through Anything Goes.

-She is the only one of the workers who has managed to successfully punch Guy Mortadello. Koilee and Rudy came close, but Scarlett landed an especially hard punch to his nose. Next to being engaged and forming Scarlett and the Shakers, she says it’s the third happiest day of her life. Now, Guy Mortadello is extremely scared of Scarlett and will cry if he sees her or hears her song on the radio (which is all the time).

-She has a tattoo of a heart of her hand along with a crown. On three of her fingers are a yellow Diamond, green clover, and blue spade.

-Scarlett is absolutely gorgeous and badass, I always kept rewinding Papas Cheeseria just to see her and Rudy in the opening because I had crushes on them both. Anyways, stan Scarlett for good grades (it’s not working though I’m still failing two classes)

[dailyaudiobible]

09/27/2021 DAB Transcript

Isaiah 51:1-53:12, Ephesians 5:1-33, Psalms 69:19-36, Proverbs 24:7

Today is the 27th day of September welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian and it is wonderful to be here with you today as we get into our work week and do what we do every day, take the next step forward together on our journey through the Bible. We’re kinda turning the corner in Isaiah. We’ve camped out in Isaiah for…for…for a bit here and there are 66 chapters in Isaiah and we’re at the 51st chapter. So, not too far to go. And in the New Testament, there are six chapters in the letter to the Ephesians. And we’re at the fifth chapter today. So, we’ll be finishing Ephesians tomorrow. But we're here now and we’re reading from the Christian Standard Bible this week. Isaiah 51, 52, and 53 today.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in the letter to the Ephesians today we reach a pretty famous passage of Scripture that deals with wives and husbands, pretty well known. I'm heard it most of my life, seen it used as a child all the way through adulthood, all the way into ministry. Have seen it used in all kinds of…well all kinds of marital situations. And honestly for the most part, it's always been to prove someone's right, and it's been used a lot for…well…yeah…to be corrective and to be right and even in some cases to be dominant. Like it's…it's used in ways that aren’t particularly healthy and aren’t particularly what the passage is saying. So, let’s just look at this. “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.” That's the portion I've heard more often than the second half so that the wife, the female partner becomes submissive to the male partner as the head of the household no matter what the husband is doing or no matter what the husband is like. It's sort of like this de facto…well…you’re married. this is what you gotta do. The thing about this famous passage of Scripture is that it has more to say to the husband then it really does to the wife. And, so, being fair here, “husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own flesh, but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church.” And, so, basically, yes, here are some instructions. They’re not one sided. It's a reciprocal thing that works together. And, so, I'm a man and I'm a husband and I'm a father. And, so, that's something that I have yet to master and don't know that I ever will but at least that's what I am, and that's what I've been for a long time. And, so, I can say, husbands if you want your wives in submission then you better be in submission to Christ loving her, as Christ loved the church, loving her like Jesus does, then there's not going to be a problem, typically in that area. A woman who is treasured and loved knowing that her husband is laying his life down for her is bringing Jesus to her is leading her to Jesus and she is also a believer, then there is not likely gonna be the kinds of problems that get these verses used for domination and to be right. Wives, if your husband is doing his best in that direction and that's not even noticed, that’s just expected…because if that's supposed to do that and you're just supposed to receive it and there's no respect there, that also grows bitterness. And, so, basically we can take Paul's summary sentence where he literally says, “to sum up” and take this on board into our hearts as we consider our relationships. Paul says, “to sum up”, and he’s still speaking to the husband, “each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.” In my limited experience, although my experience has had an awful lot of conversations, and both of those things are happening, there's a path forward from just about anything. And I’ve mentioned that I've basically…I’ve seen this passage used in, like I said, ways to be right, ways to become dominant, ways to get somebody into submission. And wives if…if you're even on the receiving end of that and your husband isn't loving you as Christ loved the church, which doesn't mean he's not gonna make mistakes, do stupid things, but if you're in an abusive situation somehow, that you feel like, you can't...there's like nothing you can do, you just have to kind of take it and endure it and its physical abuse or verbal abuse or sexual abuse or whatever…that's a good time to come back to this passage and understand what you should be expecting because what you should be expecting is that your spouse is leading you to Jesus, is…your spouse is loving you as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for…laid His life down for her. There's nothing about abuse here. Jesus doesn't abuse us. Jesus died for us that we might find freedom. Jesus isn't going to physically abuse you, nor will He sexually abuse you, nor will He verbally abuse you. I put that out there just simply because of what I have experienced and seen. Jesus loves us all so much, and if we loved each other with the love of Christ with the love of the Lord, if we loved our neighbor, even our spouse as we love ourselves…ahh…if we would do that in our marriages just in our marriages, we could start dreaming about how the world is going to change because it would. We wouldn’t be passing down these generational behaviors to our children who are gonna be doing the same things that we do only with their own version and it just keeps going in a big circle. If we husbands would love our wives as Christ loved the church and wives if your husband is doing that, if you would realize that he's a priest in your home, he’s there to bring you to Jesus and to love you with the love of the Lord, gosh, the…the whole landscape of relationships would change. And, so, we have a beautiful model here to look at. It just gets skewed when one side is trying to dominate the other side to be right about things when in truth we’re laying ourselves down, we’re laying down those rights and wrongs and submitting to Christ, which changes the atmosphere in any situation.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit we invite You into that. Nothing can be more tumultuous, nothing anymore trying and difficult than being in marriage. And yet it is gift that constantly exposes our own brokenness and our own desire for dominance and our own selfishness. So, may we take the passage in Ephesians today to heart, examining our own lives and not just trying to spend our lives changing our spouse when we’re not changing ourselves. Come Holy Spirit. This is a big one. We need Your help. And we ask for it in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com, that is home base, that's Global Campfire land, that's where we come every day. It’s technology but that's where we end up every day. And, so, check out dailyaudiobible.com or if you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can access the pertinent things at dailyaudiobible.com within the app by pushing the Drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner.

And one pertinent very, very important thing is the Community section. This is where to go to find the different links to the different social media channels that we’re involved in and is a great place to get connected to the Daily Audio Bible, but also to each other. So, check that out. That is also the section where you will find the…the Prayer Wall. And the Prayer Wall is always there and it's always on. And, so, if you are waking up in the night with night frights, you can go there and ask your brothers sisters for prayer, to pray for you or if you are going through some relational things you can ask for prayer. If you lost your job you can ask for prayer. It doesn't matter what you’re carrying. And those are maybe some more extreme things, but we’re all always carrying things and we do our best to entrust them to the Lord and often one of the best ways to do that is to bring it to our brothers and sisters and stop trying to carry it around alone. And, so, the Prayer Wall is there and always available and it is always available for us to go. Maybe things are great and it's time for us to go hold up some arms and shoulders of our brothers and sisters who are struggling very very mightily right now and have left their story on the Prayer Wall. It is so encouraging to know that people are praying for us, and we can…we can let them know that we’re praying for you there at the Prayer Wall. So, be aware of that. That is in the Community section, either on the web or in the app.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, that can be done at dailyaudiobible.com as well. There is a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner. And I don't have adequate words, I never have had adequate words to express awe and wonder at it all. Just the fact that this can even happen, that we have technology and live at a time on earth where this can happen, where we can gather together around the Global Campfire and take the next step forward together. Just…geesh…within my lifetime this wasn't possible. If we go back a century this is science fiction. And, so, what…what a joy to have this opportunity where we can reach toward one another, but we wouldn't be here if we weren't in this together. And, so, thank you humbly for your partnership. I mentioned there's a link at dailyaudiobible.com on the homepage. If you’re using the app, there is the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can at the Hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good evening this is Tierra from Texas again. I just finished listening to today's message and the first prayer that I heard was Casey from, I think he said Hawaii, and his wife Shamara. And if I am wrong, I am so sorry. But I just wanted to pray for his wife and him with them dealing with trauma and, you know, battling addiction and overcoming addiction. Father we come to You, and we just thank You for the Spirit that You've created within Casey and his wife, for Casey to have the heart to pray for his wife, for Shamara to have such a wonderful husband, for a couple, a marriage that you've blessed, for both of them to pray for each other and just to ask…ask for prayers from everyone else. I pray that the enemy has no entryway into their marriage, their relationship, has no way of attacking his wife. Sometimes with addiction there's always a place for another addiction to take…take root. I pray that does not happen. In the name of Jesus, I pray that that is removed, any type of attacks or, you know, attempts to form another addiction that that is removed and that is not able to happen Father. And I pray in the name of Jesus that you just continue to heal from past trauma and grow and learn and move forward with relationship with You Father. These blessings I ask in Your son's holy name Jesus. Amen.

Hi, my name is Maurine McIntosh from Alexandria VA. I just heard the wailing and the crying of a mother, grandmother for children. She mentioned the name of Dominique and Ariana. She said her whole household is sick. I pray for her this morning. __ Daily Audio Bible believers and worshippers let's pray for her. Father, in the name of Jesus we come before You oh Lord as a group of believers asking dear Father that You would hear and answer the cry, the wails, the cry, the deep suffering of this household. We pray the blood of Jesus upon Dominique and Ariana. We speak healing and deliverance over them in the name of Jesus. Father, we thank You that Your hands are not short, and Your ears are not deaf Lord God and that You are the God who heals. You send forth Your word to heal every disease. Father, we pray that You will heal Dominique and Ariana and the entire household of this dear lady in the name of Jesus. We pray for courage and strength for her. Even as she trusts in You Lord God, she would know that You've heard her prayer. And I pray for every Daily Audio Bible listener and every believer in the body of Christ all over…

This is Sharon in Southern California. It's been a while since I've called. A lot of things have been going on. Please pray for me and my family. My…my…my husband, he's denying his alcoholism and it's getting worse and I'm trying to help him get his VA benefits so that he can go into a program. But the reason why I'm really calling is because I just heard a call from a young lady who's family is ill and she herself was so distraught she was crying and pleading with God to save her family. And I…I just want to pray. Dear heavenly Father, thank You for Your blessings and thank You for allowing us to be able to come to You in prayer with our deepest most sincere issues and problems and trials and tribulations Lord. And I ask in Your sons, Jesus’ name, that You heale this family, that You comfort the woman who called. I didn't catch her name Lord, but You know who she is, that You comfort her heart and bring her peace and…and heal the family, touch them Lord with Your loving and tender touch Lord and heal their bodies. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

Hello there DAB family this is Lavender Dream calling again. I don't call in too much 'cause I just listen and pray for everyone, but I just heard the Friday September 24th podcast. Thank you, pastor Brian always. And Maggie Mae, you absolutely touched my heart. I can hear your…your fear and your anguish over your family and I know that this is just what the enemy wants, to distract you from focusing on Jesus. I speak from my own personal experience as I've dealt with many health issues. And when I focus on Jesus, He…He's brought me back from the brink of death several times. And I know that He is our great physician, and He gives us a peace that surpasses all understanding in the midst of the storm. So, I'm just praying that you can feel His presence, that you will focus on Him and trust that He has every one of your family members in His hands. And I also am asking for prayer for my grandson. We had to go to Boston yesterday. He has multiple disabilities. He was…he had a stroke in utero, and he is a quadriplegic and he needs surgery probably. So, I'm asking for prayer for him because surgery is risky for him with his brain…with his decreased brain development with anesthesia. So, please pray for him. His name is Jace. And I'm praying for all of you. I've heard…I don't call in that much. I prefer to listen and pray for you. So, I'm praying for peace in my family and healing in all of yours from everything and...

Hey family this is Lazarus calling. I was calling to…but just heard Maggie Mae’s prayer request and she's obviously torn to crap because the devil is attacking her entire family. And wow…my…my stuff seems so trivial by comparison. So, please family pray…pray for her. She's just at…at the end of her rope. You can hear it and desperate. And any time we're in desperate straits…straits we need to turn to the Lord. And sometimes that…all you see around you are flames and it’s just really hard. So, to that point, I've been…I'm bankrupt, I’m broke. I tried to schedule surgery and they want more money than I have. So, I've been needing it for years now and I've been putting it off and I'm in…I'm eating Percocet and taking it with vodka every day, several times a day and it's not even working anymore. So, the pains incredible. And then I fell off a rail car bus in Denver the other day directly on my left shoulder which is in 1000 pieces already and I saw the face of God. So, no…just kidding…you'd __ never.  But the Lord is with me I know but man it's hard. I am under spiritual attack from dawn until dusk every day. And, so, I’ve cancelled my surgery, I…I'm losing my apartment, I don't have any money and it just goes on and on. And I'm not whining. He's got me. He's trying to get my attention about something and just beats the crap out of me what it is because every day I get multiple kicks in __. Yeah…you'll probably edit that out or not. But anyway, so it's just…you wouldn't want to be me. So, I pray for you all. I love you all. I thank you. And if there’s any way you got a second to throw up a little prayer for me I’d appreciate it. God bless. Make it a great day. God bless you. Amen.

[seasaltmemories]

haru, ann, makoto, yusuke, and ryuji?

All are under the Cut:

Haru

How I feel about this character:

I like her! While I do agree that the fact she is recruited right when things kick into gear is kinda frustrating, I think she has a lot of great little moments that are overlooked, she is charming and cute

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

I am up for anything, but nothing stuck out in the game itself

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Her friendship with Morgana and the entire Beauty Thief stuff is great

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I’m actually glad that her recruitment was nonstandard, it shook up the usual ‘oh person who is not supposed to be there wander in the Metaverse and turns out there is a persona user” while it doesn’t last for long, there are questions of if she could be Black Mask, and in general it makes it feel like the world doesn’t just revolve around what Joker sees on screen, the fact she is closer to other ppl than Joker (at least at first) is interesting

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

A conversation with Akechi about the whole father murder thing would be great, I know she is a pretty private person, and if it happened it would likely be without Joker, but the fact she still tries to be polite to him while being upfront about not forgiving him is an interesting dynamic

my OTP:

None

my cross over ship:

Um how about she and Rinea from FE Echoes hook up?

a headcanon fact:

She definitely becomes an old rich cat lady living her best life, partner or no

Ann

How I feel about this character:

I love her! I think her presence after her arc is understated but a great part of the team, I just think she is a fun character I like to watch

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Shiho, I might also be down for a quick, low stakes hook-up with Yusuke

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Her and Joker’s confidant is really nice

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I like her confidant, like yeah the model stuff isn’t the deepest but it only gets brought up a few times and we still have the rest of it being her kinda having to deal with the guilt of not being there for a friend even though things were kinda out of her control

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I guess I wish her relationship with her body and sexuality was made a little more clear, the writing around that is an example of the game both wanting to appeal to fantasies and real life issues, from what i gathered she was fine with being sexy when she was the one who chose to do it, so it would have been nice if more of the fan-service stuff had her kinda initiating stuff

my OTP:

Her and Shiho

my cross over ship:

I could see her and Hilda von Goneril being fun

a headcanon fact:

I don’t think she continues staying a model for long, and over time kinda takes an unofficial mother figure role of looking out for newbies to make sure they aren’t being exploiting and using her influence to get creeps from getting more jobs

Makoto

How I feel about this character:

A fave, I think the game does a great job of balancing out her unlikable moments with being able to understand where she is coming from, and that tension in general made me like her all the more once I started coming around to her

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Joker

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Her and Sae were a great pair of sisters

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Again I also really liked her confidant, like Ann I think the Eiko stuff was very minor in the long run, and considering her strong sense of justice it made sense for hers to take place through an active investigation of sorts rather than her having a pity party for herself and spilling her past

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

My bias might be showing again but I am curious about her relationship with Akechi, I doubt they were close but it feels realistic that she would know he was basically Sae’s intern, and while I doubt they interacted much one on one outside that one scene where he calls her nothing but a goody two shoes, I wouldn’t mind exploring it more

my OTP:

Joker

my cross over ship:

Hmm her and Utena Tenjou would be a great mix of “high intellect low wisdom” and beating up gross dudes

a headcanon fact:

I think she never loses her rebellious streak and ends up in like advocacy work against government corruption

Yusuke

How I feel about this character:

He’s nice, I do like his interesting relationship with Madarame, and think it has some of the most nuance in the game

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Nothing really serious besides like I said that low-stakes hook-up with Ann

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

As I mentioned while not a good relationship, I still think his connection with Madarame is his most interesting

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Maybe my own sheltered weirdo art kid is showing, but he really isn’t as out-there as ppl claim, I was expecting a hammy off the walls character from what fandom showed, but if anything his is really quiet, withdrawn and again most of his eccentricities is just him having been really sheltered his whole life and having to adjust to living on his own, like in the grand scheme of things, buying lobsters just to draw them is something I could see ppl in my life doing and maybe joking about for two or three days before being completely forgotten

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I think he is the phantom thief that fades into the background the most, and I wish he had a bit more relevancy for the rest of the game, which is harder to do bc he isn’t the most social or touchy-feely outside of art, I wish I got a great sense of camaraderie at least from his reasons for sticking around besides “friends” feels very weak

my OTP:

Not really any

my cross over ship:

I could see something between him and Namine being sweet

a headcanon fact:

I don’t know the exact flavor, but I think he is misdiagnosed  neurodivergant and likely never really figures it out except maybe by the time he is middle age and has a stable life bc he and others around him write off the symptoms as the result of his weird upbringing and artsy nature

Ryuji

How I feel about this character:

He’s a character I don’t I could stand if he was real, but the game writing and framing does make me like him and his friendship with Joker comes off as very genuine

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

I am up for anything, but nothing stuck out in the game itself

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Again him and Joker

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Lol I feel like I pissed off a lot of ppl by saying I couldn’t stand him if he was real, but really he is like the eptimone of teenage rage, like he has good reasons to be angry but he doesn’t really know how to cope with it in the right ways, like no offense but walking up to somebody and just asking “hey are you being abused” isn’t all that helpful to a victim and other little things that in a less power-fantasy narrative could go really wrong, I don’t think presenting those flaws is bad, and I don’t think he is a bad character, but as someone who has also had to carefully manage my anger, it hits me in a very “remembers bad memory and cringes way”

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

Look I know teenagers can be horny and I am not against ever showing that, but i guess as a grown woman I could have done without all the “lets score some babes” talk

my OTP:

None

my cross over ship:

Doug from Rune Factory 4 could probably vibe with him but i think they’d both cool each other down

a headcanon fact:

Probably also when he is older, things are stable, and he finds a therapist he doesn’t feel patronized by, he does end up finding the experience meaningful

[warfear]

WHAT’S GOOD, PARTY PEOPLE ?     the name’s mads :    twenty - four summers young, in love with cj from dawn of the dead (2004), mortal enemies with amc’s the walking dead and so very excited to be here. thus, without further ado, below the cut you’ll find the basics—the general gist—about my horrible, poorly written bastard children. 

trigger warnings for : cancer, death, kidnapping, abuse and assault !!

APOLSKIS, JULIAN      —      twenty-four, comic store clerk.

BASICS :     born in seattle, julian moved to fort elms when he was a whooping eleven years old. why, you don’t ask. well, because he got diagnosed with a gnarly case osteosarcoma and his father took ONE LOOK at that hospital bill and vanished into thin air, that’s why ! so, mommy dearest took her kids and skipped town as well. for less horrible reasons, of course. since then, his cancer has came and went and came back again. until finally it went for the last time, taking his leg with it as it did. he’s cancer free now ! three years and counting. we do love that for him … depressing facts aside, he’s in a punk rock band because we gotta Stick It To The Man. they suck but he’s decent on the drums and that’s all that matters. him. yeah, he’s a bit of a prick. a lovable prick. loves to play the devil’s advocate and hates talking about his feelings because ~ romantic trauma ~. but other than that, a decent guy, alright ! put some respect to his name. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS … 

ex - girlfriend :     bringer of trauma … she was his second ever girlfriend and their relationship was good, okay ! lasted almost two years. and then, without warning, she dumped him, THROUGH A NOTE. left without a word and that was that. a big bitch move, i’d say. 

mother :     the best mom there is ! worked three jobs to support her family after the deadbeat left, and is overall the best person juli knows and will ever know. she’s a second generation polish immigrant and very insistent on julian retaining his jewish heritage. pops was christian, so … gross. 

father :     not much to say about this bastard except he hasn’t spoken to his own children in thirteen years. not as much as a birthday card ! who knows where he is now. we’d like for him to be dead in a ditch but odds are he has a new family. i’d love for julian to knock him out, please hit me up for that. 

hospital buddies :     like i said, he spent most of his childhood in a hospital. so he must’ve made at least one friend there. they can be a teenager, they can be a senior citizen — as long as their friendship was thrust onto julian by sheer proximity and boredom. he’s obviously well now but i’d like for him to have a sliver of his past life close. 

DIMEO, BRANDON      —      thirty-five, mall cop.

BASICS :     very italian. a walking italian stereotype, really. his family is huge and he’s close with them all. too close. i’m talking yearly hunting trips, weekly family dinners, and a mother who still does his laundry. which means, yes, he’s a momma’s boy. a bit of a scrub, if you will. flopped out of the police academy in his early twenties, as he’d almost done high school, and settled for acting cop at the local mall. he’s a bit of a dumbass, and by a bit i mean a lot. unintelligent to the point where he can’t do basic math. emotionally unintelligent to the point where he can’t have a long - term relationship. we do love that. also a big fan of the charlie’s angels television series, AS HE SHOULD BE. he’d be an angel of charlie’s if he could be …

WANTED CONNECTIONS …

ex - girlfriend :     i’m talking first and only. probably didn’t get together until his mid - late twenties, and didn’t last that long either. probably had issues with his weird relationship with his mother, probably didn’t appreciate that he couldn’t clean his own house, probably wanted a man and not a little boy. she definitely dumped him. oh, well.

family :     he has A LOT. two parents ( i was gonna say obvi but is it obvi, i don’t think so. check yourself @ me ) and three brothers … but he’s the baby of the family, physically and mentally. i feel for his mother. i’d love for him to have a kid cousin, though. like one girl ( except his mommy ) he treats well. it’d be cute, shut up.

friends with benefits :     pretty self - explanatory. no strings attached, no commitment, no expectations … it’s all poor donnie here can muster in life. so do give it to him, please and thank. 

broskis :     he needs friends ! who aren’t other mall cops ( sorry egg take it up with HR ) … maybe dudes he’s known since high school, his OG home - boys. either to enable his antics or to call him out on his shit. i’ll take anything for brodawg over here. 

KINNEY, SAWYER      —      twenty-two, vet student.

BASICS :     god’s favorite. just kidding … i don’t think her love for him is much reciprocated. first dropped off as an infant @ the local church’s doorstep, then adopted. all is well ! no, her adoptive parents die in a car crash thirteen years later. she was there, too. sole survivor … even her baby brother passing away in the accident. shit’s tough, my dudes. she still has her older siblings, but who cares about them. was diagnosed with epilepsy shortly after ( she hates it, thanks ) and now lives with a disorder to remind her even more of the event. BIG YIKE LET’S MOVE ON … she’s a ray of sunshine ! loves animals and soccer to death. a social butterfly with no concept of personal space. insistent on not minding her business, plagued by a constant need to be liked by EVERYONE. book smart, emotionally intelligent … yet a whole dumbass. we love to see it.

WANTED CONNECTIONS …

cousins :     fun tidbit, after her parent’s death she moved in with her uncle and his children. so, give me those very children ! her siblings are both older than herself and i’m dying for some same - aged partners in crime here. who played soccer with her after school ? who tried beer with her for the very first time ? i am WAITING.

soccer pals :     captain of the local girl’s soccer team, since seventeen baby, sawyer’s in dire need of her soccer pals. y’all ever see the netflix original girls with balls ? yeah, me neither, but that could still be them versus the zombies. they’re all so close and athletic i NEED them to team up against the undead.

toxic church friends :     i’m not calling christianity toxic … i’m calling white church going pinterest loving bitches toxic. i just think it’d be neat for her to have people from that part of her life really pushing this ~ religious agenda ~ onto her further. you know, shaming everything that she does. WHY NOT ! can’t think of a single reason why not, actually.

someone to get under :     look … last year she got DUMPED by her boyfriend. it was rude as hell ! you don’t need to know his reason, okay … she did no wrong, mind your business … either way, give me SOMEONE ELSE for her to focus on so she can finally get over that skinny motherfucker. it doesn’t have to be reciprocated AT ALL, homies. she can thirst from afar … as long as her attention is redirected from ex - boyfriend to wow - possible - boyfriend. ja feel me ? cool.

OSWALT, KEVIN      —      twenty-one, waitress.

BASICS :     born in fort elms as rowan blake, this teensy bitch had a good life going. two parents, three older siblings, one cool ass dog… you get the gist. but all things must come to an end, no ? so, when rowan here was five years old, she was approached by a teenage girl by the name ryan, and booboo the fool as she was, rowan followed this older, much cooler girl right into a stranger’s car… and then rowan was no more ! she spent the next year thirteen years of her life as kevin oswalt, living with her new sister and new mother — creepily nicknamed mama. to say her life with the oswalt’s was good would be… well, it’d be a lie. because kevin wasn’t the first kid they ‘napped, and neither was she the last. lets just say that house was a shit - fest and we should be glad she managed to run away at the tender age of seventeen. by sheer luck, she wound up back in fort elms and by even more luck, she managed to get an education and graduate. unrealistic ? take it up with 2016 me. other than that super fun backstory, kevin’s baby. she likes books  ( always has, though it was her only form of entertainment for a good chunk of her life there )  and she likes french fries. she’s still discovering the world around her, even if she has been out and about for about four - ish years now. so if she’s a BIT NAIVE, then excuse her…

WANTED CONNECTIONS …

ex - boyfriend :     not to go into too many details but kev’s introduction to the dating scene was less than ideal… barely legal and kept under wraps for A YEAR. it sucked, okay. not a good first experience, IN MY OPINION. kevin has another but she’s stupid. EITHER WAY, that left her kinda fucked - up when it comes to relationships. so, when she started dating her other ex circa summer 2017, she was pretty not - that - into - him. sorry we can’t all be over our 30 year old boyfriends… she never even said those three little words and them bitches dated for a year. TRAGIQUE.

brother :     tragically, throughout the years, kevin’s brother is the single family member not picked up and that’s just… fucked, if you ask me. either way — his name is marcus blake but you can change his first to whatever ! he’s the sibling she was closest to as a wee bairn, alright. and i need him here… even if he wouldn’t know her as his sister anymore, but seeing as kev has managed to weasel her way into the blake family through mother and sisters REGARDLESS if anybody remembers or not, i’d say they’d cross paths anyway. oh, and he’s in a band… which isn’t to say juli’s, i mean it could be, but that’s not what i’m saying… anyways, that’s all.

bad influence :     kevin’s too nice. and i don’t like it. so, please, pretty please, give me a plot of pure mayhem. somebody less outwardly chaotic than pippa but more scheming, and maybe capable of convincing kevin to grow a spine. think penelope and josie in legacies… but not gay. i mean, it COULD be gay. i’m not saying it HAS to be gay… mind your business.

victim by proxy :     okay, hear me out… the oswalts are crazy people, and although kevin would like to be excluded from that narrative, she simply cannot. so, consider giving me somebody with some sort of connection to the kiddos missing  ( alternatively : to the man she shanked… girls, ya gotta read her bio, i’m not exposing her further :see_no_evil: )  so kevin’s guilt can just SKYROCKET. that’s fun, right ? make friends with some poor bitch who’s little bro went missing, knowing full well what happened… sickening, kev, get help.

ROSILIO, ODETTE      —      thirty-five, florist.

BASICS :     flaky defined. dropped out of high school, dropped out of california, dropped out of her own wedding … i mean, the list goes on. originally from mexicali, mexico odette moved to chino, california at the ripe age of five. her mother then proceeded to lose custody six years later. * that one vine vc * WAY TO GO, PAUL ! in and out of foster care since, eventually choosing to stay out for the remainder of her teens. until she got herself knocked up ( not by choice but ait ) and was forced to move back in with mommy … but hey, it all turned out fine in the end ! and when her daughter was four years old, she dipped forever. she’s since been living all over the states, only moving to fort elms five - ish years ago. and has indeed stayed put since. even if she did manage to pull a runaway bride. a bit of a bitch move, but at least she’s consistent. ish. because she’s not a bitch, okay, she’s simply … out of fucks to offer the world. can i get an amen. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS …

ex - fiancé :     like i said … left at the altar, that’s gotta knock you down a peg. or two. but she didn’t mean to stomp on his balls like that. in fact, they were very much in love at one point. dated for about two years until marriage was brought up and well, cold feet took over. and there’s no coming back from being a no show at your own wedding, is there. so that was that. marriage over before it even started. they didn’t get much of closure but that’s life for you.

mother :     a horrible mother, plain and simple. she was in and out of jail when odette was in her custody, mostly due to drug related charges which was … not cute, girlie was like eight years old. though who knows, maybe she’s cleaned up her act, and maybe she’s ready to get back in her daughter’s life. or maybe she’s just looking for money … either way, get miss marisa to washington !

employees :     i want … snotty teens, or early twenties bitches that she’ll have to manage. she’s had it with her own daughter, why not add more children for her to boss around. that, or somebody at work who she doesn’t wanna clock. an ally amongst the flowers. 

chino friends :     odette did indeed spend her early to mid teens on the streets and she must’ve made some friends along the way except for kai ( here’s your one mention of the simp @ salem ) … either some bad influences or some good ones. y’all ever seen the movie thirteen ? exactly like that. give me some blasts from the past to bring out the old odette.

[esta-metamorfose-ambulante]

Pros and cons of Jane The Virgin over the seasons (in no particular order)

Pros:

An amazingly talented cast.

Overall positive latino representation.

Distinct and interesting characters.

Plot twists that kept the story entertaining.

The Villanuevas bond.

Focusing on the reactions and the human side of the characters whenever something crazy would happen to them.

I’m personally not a fan of Latin novelas because they usually just throw one plot twist after anoter, but JTV used to do a great job showing its characters’ struggles dealing with those events.

Cons:

The love triangle. On season one it was important to Jane’s arc so she could find confidence in being a single mother before marrying Michael, but continuously resurrecting the Michael/Jane/Rafael and Jane/Rafael/Petra was uninteresting, repetitive and tiring to its viewers.

Its representation of black people. Roman Zazo was a killer, who not only killed his own twin brother, but also made Petra have sex with him when he kidnapped her.

Nadine was another neglected character that ended up being killed.

The poor treatment they give to Luisa, who has made terrible mistakes, but is also a metally ill woman that battles addiction. However, she is merely used as comic relief and described as a ‘trainwreck’. If my memories serve me well, the show has used this specific word regarding her, more than once.

Its unreleastic representation of romantic love. In the beginning, Jane was happily engaged to Michael. Then, they broke up and she fell for Rafael. Later, the two also broke up. Eventually, she got over him only to fall in love with both of them in a couple of episodes and almost immediately after she realized it’s always been Michael. Seriously? I don’t think science has a consensus about how someone falls in love, if you can love two people at once or whether you can fall in love with a previous lover after you were over them and in a happy relationship with someone else, but that’s not even the point. The thing is, you cannot trust its own narrative. It’s become repetitive, confusing and incoherent with its previous statements. You can’t even trust on the heart glowing thing, because that happens whenever the characters feel strong emotions with their loved ones. It happened when Jane was holding Mateo after he was born and when the Villanuevas were celebrating Mother’s Day. The only way to have some certainty is based on how the actors’ performances and their declarations, because imo they are even more responsible for developing their characters than the writers. The writers keep moving in circles and the actors need to try to make the best of it and deliver their lines convincingly, but I believe even for them it must be difficult to buy it. Therefore, I take their acting and declarations more seriously, because they at least keep a line of thinking instead of the writers that just go back and forth.

Rose - who used to be an intriguing character - got reduced to a I don’t even know what. She was/is a huge crime lord, but all that potention was thrown way. The show didn’t explore her criminal life at all, only her relationship with Luisa and multiple disguises. Currently, she is back for a mysterious reason, but after four seasons, I believe it’s safe to say she will be neglected as well and whatever she does will be anticlimactic.

The objetification. I don’t get the obsession they have/had with Rafael’s abs and why they would make Petra sleep with every basic/trash white man they introduced. On season three they focused more on Jane managing to have casual sex with Fabian than her book and dream of being a published author. I get that was important for her, but releasing her book was everything she ever worked for her entire life. Ignoring that was disrespectful.

Losing its essence and becoming like every other telenovela: throwing a twist after another, not exploring its effects on the characters and repeating storylines everyone’s sick of.

Not having the characters dealing with their traumas and metal illness or having almost all of it happening off camera. Luisa struggles with alcoholism and an on and off abusive relationship, Rogelio was kidnapped, Mateo was kidnapped, Petra was kidnapped, Petra forced herself to have sex with the man who kidnapped her so she could find a way get out of her captivity, Petra lived with an abusive mother, Petra was freaking paralyzed by her own sister, Petra had postpartum depression, Michael was shot, almost got killed and then he was tortured with eletroshocks until he got amnesia and lost five years of his life and I’m sure there is more that I’ve missed. Still, what do they focus on? Ridiculous love triangles.

Although Rafael is not my favorite character, he and Petra were the ones that had the most interesting potential backgrounds. Petra grew up without a father in Czechoslovakia, Alba always used her as a tool to get by and she left the country running away from a man who attacked her mother. Even in the United States, there is so much they could’ve shown of her before and after meeting Rafael, getting married, pregnant and losing the baby. On the other hand, Rafael could’ve had a journey of self-discovery and found his biological family and finally getting the love he didn’t receive from his adoptive parents. All wasted pontetial as well.

Changing the entire dynamics of the show in order to execute one storyline. To get to a point where Jane chooses Rafael, they had to: ‘kill’ Michael, do time jumps and have the characters almost ready to be together. Rafael basically became a different character, they got rid of Lina so he would be her best friend and even in some scenes that there would’ve made more sense to have an Alba/Jane moment because they both lost their husbands, they made a jafael moment.

Its frustrating depiction of family. I don’t hide the fact I’m a villadero shipper and would’ve loved to see Michael/Jane/Mateo being a blended family. I know I won’t get that, but the twins barely spend time with Rafael. Or they do, but it’s mostly off camera. And that’s not enough. I don’t need fourty minutes of them together or therapy, but it’s important to show that on television. It’s important to show parents giving their kids equal love and attention, just like it’s important to show mentally ill characters getting help. This speaks to the audience and can even change the way somebody acts. Television is powerful. Still, even if Rafael does give the same amount of attention and love to their children, the show doesn’t illustrate that. And that’s one of the reasons why I think Ellie and Anna are basically perfect. So Mateo is the one who is distracted, sad, confused or whatever. And no, I’m not criticizing a kid. But we see Mateo being comforted by Rafael, having Rafael telling him stories and things like that. We get way less scenes from Rafael and the girls and sometimes it is just him saying he will pick them up or something off camera. And I really can’t remember any moment where they were the ones who were vulnerable and Rafael comforted them. Or just them playing and having fun. Not even with him when Rafael was with Jane and Mateo.

Not even between Mateo and the twins. They love to say they are family and I more than anyone know siblings fight, but siblings also love and protect each other. I can only remember one soft scene with the three of them and it was because that was convenient at the moment. But a scene of them playing just for the sake of it, or maybe even comforting or supporting one other would be adorable. Like, have they ever hug? I get that if Rafael and Jane live together with Mateo they will consenquently spend more time together and that’s not a problem. However, the show just executes the stereotype of only biological families being valid and sends the message it’s okay to neglect your other children if you’re not dating or married to their mother.

It also took them FIVE FUCKING SEASONS to show Jane and Petra being friends and having fun. And again, it was only out of convinience. Jane couldn’t decide what to do regarding her situation with Rafael and Michael and no one could give her advice. So she goes to Petra and they drink their asses off and sort of have fun. And that other day when they went to a lesbian bar. They say they’re friends and even family, but certaintly doesn’t feel like it. Do they care about each other? Yeah. Still, it’s like that cousin who lives in other part of the country and you see once a year. Firstly you’re happy, but after they spend a week in your house you realize why you barely see each other or keep in touch when they’re gone. I get they are very different, but everytime they are together they sort of argue. An honest and deep conversation like some that Jane’s had with Lena? I’m afraid it’s never happened or going to.

Total disrespect to their own character, Brett who was generous enough to return while he is part of another show and his fans. Not only they brought him back to play a minor role, but he didn’t even get the respect to have his point of view shown. The man was almost killed, tortured, lost five years of his life, came back to see that everything had changed and felt like a burden, but they don’t actually focus on what he feels? Just as how sad Rafael is? It’s one thing to show both sides, but to only explore Rafael’s feelings as if he’s the one who had it worse is ridiculous and insensitive.

Rafael’s deppression. Again, I don’t want to get technical about it, specially because that’s not my professional area and I could be wrong. The thing is, I don’t think he has depression. I do think he had a lot of shit happening to him and he used to have unhealthy habits whenever he got upset, but there is a difference between getting drunk when you are sad (what almost everyone has or will do once in their lifetime) and having depression. Feeling sad, worthless, suicidal all can be symptons, yes. But there is also not getting any sleep, food or eating/sleeping a lot and more. And I don’t think they show up altogether after one event. Rafael’s had a past drinking when he was feeling low, but that was it. No worthless or suicidal thoughts. No insomnia or sleeping too much or anything else. And that wouldn’t last long. Now I am supposed to believe he has depression? Then actually DEVELOP THAT and SHOW IT TO ME (If A Million Little Things can do a decent job, other shows can too). Don’t get me wrong, I think Rafael might have something, but not actually depression. He sure as hell have reasons to. However, It just seems they threw it so we could empathize with him after the way he treated Jane and root for him. And I bet that will be gone in two seconds once him and Jane reunite. Which leads me to...

The way they insinuated his state was Jane’s fault is disgusting. And I’m sure they will forget this depression storyline once jafael makes up. So yeah, they might have not actually said the words, but the route they took is that it’s Jane’s fault and once they back to their relationship he will be magically healed with their love. Yikes.

Also, the whole Michael x family conflict. That is so LOW. My parents are divorced and their separation was really messy. Despite my personal experience, I’ve seen complicated divorces before and ex-spouses using their children against one another. If Jane ended up with Michael, that wouldn’t make her less of a mother or neglect her family by any means. If anything, Mateo would have a step and godfather who would basically do everything to keep him safe and happy. Mateo would have another person who loves him. Sure, Jane’s priority must be her son, but to give the idea a mother needs to lose her independence because of her child is ridiculous. Mothers are allowed to be divorced, single, marry someone else, have their own time with their friends and even have male and ex-lovers as friends. What makes Jane a good mother is the way she treats her son, the love, attention she gives him. NOT being in a relationship with Rafael. Believe me, I’ve seen some people saying this kind of thing.

Now that Jane and Michael got closure, it looks like he will barely be on the show anymore. Which is wrong on so many levels, because first of all, he was her best friend. Real Jane wouldn’t want him out of her life, but apparently that’s what’s going to happen. And again, it sends a terrible message. She should keep being his friend, talking to him and everything, because being in a relationship doesn’t mean you should lose your (male) friends. And they won’t actually say it, but I don’t see Rafael as the guy that would be okay with Jane being best friends with her ex-husband and therefore we won’t see them interact. Just like we didn’t get Michael to see Jane’s family, that he loved and loved him back. And that’s a terrible message to give to young girls, even if you won’t have it said out loud. Showing it is already enough. The fact some of them are buying it frustrates me. 

Also, like, it baffles me the fact Rafael is getting way with all the ultimatums he gave Jane, the fact he showed no empathy when Jane had the scare of thinking she would lose her mother who is fighting CANCER and he kicked her out of their house the very same night. Or that he turned their son against her or did nothing to get him to talk to Jane again until she called him out. She shouldn’t have to call him out. He is a grown man on his late 30s (or early 40s? idek anymore after the time jumps), he should’ve known better. The breaking point was when he didn’t discipline Mateo for running accross the street, something that could’ve KILLED HIM, just because he was mad at Jane. I get Rafael has gone through a lot of shit, but this doesn’t give him a pass to treat people the way he wants to. Everyone on this show has gone through enough and they don’t behave that way. He might have depression, but he knows when he is wrong. And you can actually see on his eyes when he is talking to Jane that he is defying and provoking her. Just terrible.

The fact Jane is choosing him after all of that pisses me off. If he were still zen Rafael and all, I would be frustrated, but not angry. This gives a really dangerous message for anyone who watches it. Abusive relationships start just like that and even though Rafael never raised a hand to her, that is abusive. Rafael is not a bad person, but he has a lot to work on before he could be with anyone else and for me they don’t belong together. Still, he is manipulative and disrespectul with Jane. And I have enough experience with abusive relationships to say that’s how it begins. Then, they have one conversation and sort of a perfect fairytale phase until the next fight. And media romanticizing this kind of relationship is part of the problem.

Last but not least, the fact Jane will have to FIGHT for this after everything turned something that was already bad into something worse. Not only it’s not worth it, but she is supposed to humiliated herself just because she dared to have feelings and be confused when something totally crazy happened to her? Way to go, writers! That’s how you treat you Latin female protagonist and kill your show. The cast deserved way more, but the writers deserves exact rating numbers they are getting.

So to that troll who said Michael fans were racist for dropping it after he died, there are other reasons why we gave up. Those were things that already bothered me, but I still found the show worth it to keep looking foward to the episodes. And after Michael died, I kept watching it, out of respect for its diverse cast and to give it the benefit of the doubt, but I could only do it until the finale of season 3. I just decided not to waste my time anymore because after 10 episodes it didn’t get any better. For many, Michael was vital for the show. 

Besides Jane, he was the one who interacted with most people. He was close to Jane’s family, Rogelio’s best friend, Mateo’s stepfather/godfather and a detective. After he lost his job/’died’, the criminal aspect of the show was basically ignored.

One season one, he wasn’t with Jane, but he was there and things were still intriguing. Once he was gone, the show changed completely. Characters were written off, time had passed and it didn’t feel organic. And there were a lot of other stuff that kept people from watching it again. The fact you want to bring race for something that has nothing to do with (breaking news! Rafael is white too! Just because your boy has some tan and speaks spanish he is not a person of color) is pathetic. That’s not being woke. Bye.

[whattheshitstuckony]

Nathaniel aka SadBoi™️

I’m gonna take you on a journey so buckle up Candies I introduce to you my coffee induced extravaganza

(The author sends her sincere apologies for any grammar mistakes because of a simple fact that English is not her native language. Thank you)

To understand Nathaniel as a character and see why and how he became who he became we need to go back in time to the high school years.

Obviously the most important person that had any impact on who he is today was his father.

An abusive little shit who lost his position at work to someone younger and more talented then him. Probably saw his failures in Nathaniel. His son who was young, intelligent, talented and everything he will never even dream to be. His frustration and anger landed with a fierce hand on Nath. Literally.

What we need to understand is that Nathaniel was just a child. 18 or not he was still to young to go through such trauma.

Just take a moment and imagine coming home, everyday, knowing that your father will probably find any excuse to hurt you. You try to be quiet. You try your best just so maybe for this one day he will not rise his hand to hit you. You are afraid. Everyday, every moment, with every breath you anticipate that something is going to happen. Because it always does.

Terrifying innit?

What’s even worst he is alone but at the same time he is not. His mother sees everything. She does nothing.

He has a sister. She’s treated well. Way better then him but he never knows, right? He will never be sure if he will be enough for his father. If there will come a day when his going to be so angry that maybe his body might not be enough. He might rise a hand on her too.

And in that situation when he can’t even be himself, when he needs to dance to his fathers music and there’s nobody to help him, he feels more alone then he will ever feel in his whole life.

So for his own safety he plays along. Still having hope that maybe one day his father will stop being abusive. That if he will be good enough dad will be happy. (Please remember the words “good enough” I’ll come back to them again)

And then he meets a girl. She’s too good and naive. He doesn’t know what to think of her. And then he has a crush. And suddenly she’s the only good thing in his life.

Because she’s pure. And Nathaniel is sure she doesn’t know anything about his abusive father. And if not for the tattoo fiasco she would probably never learnt.

And she helps him out. And for the first time in his life he feels freaking safe. He knows there is someone who cares for him. She’s everything to him. I will give proof about how important she was when we move to UL.

He’s happy. There are no bruises. And no shouting. In the flat there is only silence and he wouldn’t change it for anything. He loves this. And Candy is there with him. Through all of that.

And suddenly she’s gone.

And he’s alone again.

Before we go into UL we need to discuss the time in between. So we know now that everyone who ever met him, or considered him as a friend turned their backs on him.

Kim: Surely because you weren’t here when he was “changing”. But everyone turned their backs on him.

So we know now that when Candy left he was literally alone. No one even tried to understand what happened to him. No one asked him if he need help, or if everything is alright. They just... forgot about him. It was easier for them to stop talking to him and just leave him be. It was so fucking wrong to do that. They knew him form High School how could they think that he just.... ugh I can’t talk about this shit friends. You know the drill.

They just easily accepted his change and went with it. Assholes.

Anyway.

As we know it’s been a few years and now the real fun can begin.

She’s back. Obviously he knows he changed and now I will give a few examples to show why we should at least be nice to him. Why we can’t judge him so easily and say he’s an asshole just because we don’t like his new characterisation.

On this note I need to tell you that his appearance and the way he lives he’s life now is definitely justified by his past. That’s why I think he is more realistic now then he was in high school.

First of all the first time we meet him (I couldn’t find any screenshots I’m angry but bare with me) the guys that mugged Candy are afraid of him. When they notice it’s Nath they back off. We knew then that something is definitely wrong. And we were right unfortunately. His first appearance is intense. He is an asshole and I will admit that. He’s more cheeky and sarcastic. Of course we are shocked because we remember him differently.

After, our first time in the gym, we learn that he followed Candy to make sure she made it safe to the dorms. That was sweet of him. Tho I think he didn’t really wanted to share that. And he was probably angry at himself for doing that. But he just couldn’t leave her alone. So. I was saying one time that he is still grateful that she helped with his dad. That was the first time someone did something just for him. The first time someone cared so he still has a soft spot for her. And that’s all for now. Just a soft spot.

I’m not gonna discuss the situation with his one night stand. Obviously that was something he didn’t want her to see. Shit happened. He tried to be an idiot about it and said something that made Candy angry. BUT when he noticed she’s disappointed and hurt and angry he almost instantly said that he’s sorry and he was a jerk. And this is first but one of many indications that he still cares for her.

He even says that he didn’t want her to see that. It’s different if she heard about it. He’s sure she did but he didn’t want her to see.

Later on he even lies to her tho we know the truth. One time we see him in the dorms and he says he was obviously looking for her. Which is a lie he was coming back from someone’s room this little cockroach. He lied because he didn’t want her to know. And he’s a flirt. He likes the fact that Candy is denying him all the time.

This is a hard topic. I’m not saying that the girls are easy or something. They want to sleep with him and they do. It’s simple. Candy doesn’t want to so she says no, it’s simple too.

He says he likes it that Candy says no. He’s too full of himself in that department.

And now the final problem. This last episode was full of information about Nath. About the past and about the present.

Warning! all of this right now are just theories.

So we didn’t had the opportunity to hear what Kim thinks the guys he’s hanging out with are doing because that was the moment Nathaniel picked to make himself known.

But we do have an idea don’t we?

Yeah.

Personally I think he’s a dealer. Hear me out.

In this game and the HS one we had a lot of hard topics. Lies, alcohol, abuse, Armin was arrested, Lys had an accident, there was cancer, dying dad and the bullying (might be even rape because Evan I’m sure you remember) so i would be not surprised if we touched the topic of drugs.

Nath: Just like that I needed to learn how to take care of things on my own. How to pay for everything, take care of my sister, and all the rest.

So I think that he lied to Candy about the money he has from his parents. I think his dad lost the job. He needed the money. And he needed them fast.

Cas: Oh, did I hit a soft spot? Everybody knows that where you can find junkies, you can find Nath...

So basically Cas confirms that he’s selling drugs. I don’t think Castiel would say something like that if it wasn’t true. And after that Nathaniel gets angry. He didn’t want Candy to know. He picked the moment to go into the gym just before Kim could say anything. If he does this because of money or other reasons the fact stays the same. Nathaniel is probably selling drugs.

And it’s so hard for him to accept any help even from Candy. Because he is independent. And he doesn’t need anybody. He takes care of everything and he’s doing it alone. He managed to do that for many years even when she wasn’t here so this is an issue too.

He’s arc will be about getting help. Letting yourself to admit that you need help. About drugs and abuse. About angry issues because he is so full of rage.

Nath: And when you left after high school with your parents...

That confirms that shit hit the fan for him when Candy left. Doesn’t that say a lot about his feelings for her? About what and who she is to him?

This boy is surprised that Candy cares for him. It hurts me to say that but he is shocked about somebody loving him. (Too dramatic? Might be)

He thought when she was back that she wouldn’t give a fuck about him because why? Nobody else, their own friends from high school didn’t so why should she?

This boy is so sad and alone and terrified and I just...

I only hope it will be worthwhile. Because these are some serious problems. He’s story will be the most interesting one.

I’m sorry if it’s chaotic but fucking tumblr delated half of it three bloody times I’m so angry

(I’m just sorry for the girls that were his ex and picked someone else... he has a possessive streak now. He had it in high school so now it’s probably worse. He will be so sad I can’t take this)

[deafchild2000]

I Never Really Liked Rikki

Alright before y'all go on and say I'm "shitposting" or degrading your favorite mermaid, just let me let it out!

Rikki Chadwick is one of the 5 mermaids (yes, counting Bella and Charlotte) on H2O: Just Add Water. When she she became a mermaid, she got heating powers, essentially leading to actual fire and lightning powers in Season 2.

On the Wikia, she's described as: Rikki is quite rebellious, independent, sarcastic and carefree, making the two argue often.Rikki frequently speaks her mind without euphemism or without care that her opinions might hurt other people's feelings. She has a hard time sympathizing with people who are in pain, as seen in "Dangerous Waters." She can be very stubborn and has a short temper. Rikki has a strong adventurous streak and is the first to fully embrace the possibilities of the girls' new powers. Despite their arguments, Rikki and Emma do get along a lot of the times, and Rikki genuinely cares for her friends. This is demonstrated when she takes Emma and Cleo out on a shopping spree with her new money in "Dangerous Waters." To make up for her previous blunder in the same episode, she also does her best to buy Cleo the perfect new fish (as thanks, Cleo dubs the fish "Hot Stuff," in honor of Rikki). Rikki also shows her care for Emma when Rikki prods Byron to apologize to her friend in "Sink or Swim," revealing that Emma is not as tough and thick-skinned as she lets on.

Not only does Rikki shows her rebellious nature freely, but she encourage it in her friends as well. In "Pressure Cooker", Rikki encouraged Cleo and Emma to rebel against Charlotte Watsford and her mother, Annette Watsford who were invited by Don Sertori to stay over for dinner. Thinking that Don is getting remarried and that Charlotte will become Cleo's step sister, Rikki encouraged the others to use their powers to ruin the food, not knowing that Annette was only invited as a business partner. Despite her carefree nature, Rikki is capable of displaying a sense of responsibility especially when it comes to money. In the episode "Hook, Line and Sinker", Rikki attempted to look for some financial security for her family by attending Harrison Bennett's seminar, only to find it to be a scam. In "In Over Our Heads", Rikki attempted to help her father by trying to find a lost treasure for the reward money because her family was struggling with the bills. During her stay as café manager in season three, she was able to show her ability in running a business successful. When Rikki left after breaking up with Zane, the café started to struggle despite Sophie replacing her as manager, showing her organizational and monetary abilities.

But the things is, I never connected to her. Actually, I could never relate to any of the trio, but Rikki at most (ironically it's Charlotte and Bella that has my favor.).

See, by technically, I should like her because I'm sarcastic, independent, rebellious, stubborn, easily vengeful, unapologetically blunt at times and savvy business-wise (side hustle - jobs- for money). Plus I've been borderline homeless and raised by a single parent.

But for myself and others, I had needed to be more than that. Where I'm sarcastic, I am concerned and loyal when it needs to be regardless of circumstances. Where I'm independent, even I have to admit defeat and ask for help because I accept I don't know everything. When I'm stubborn, while admitting for fighting in what I believe in, I do my best to set it aside when need be or else Karma would be on my ass. For my rebelliousness, I have to know when I draw the line and go too far. Same goes for being vengeful, but I at least have someone (mom and uncle) on my corner to steer me away and even get a good laugh out of it while I can still reverse it. I'm legit working on being blunt since past experiences taught me sugarcoating isny always the best option, but I do have basic understanding why people do it. Sometimes the bandaid does need gently peeling to get the job done - especially if it's for the sake of a child.

So in comparison, between me and Rikki, felt that aside from a few glimpses of her realizing her mistakes and vulnerability, in those 3 years of being a mermaid, she never really took on the lessons she learned and developed Empathy. Empathy is all about understanding someone and their feelings, especially if their in a place you've been before. And considering that Rikki had a bunch of friends to pull her from the dark side of her personality, no one really bothered to do that when her personality took a turn for the worse in Season 2. Season 3 was when she nearly reached the point of No Return if Will hadn't intervene to stop her from borderline killing Ryan in the moon pool.

Then, I've talked to friends about this and perhaps it originally stemmed from the mermaid aspect of her life. Yes, H2O is just a tv show, and it aired years before I entered my own teenhood, but people are drawn to it because they can relate to the girls in the show. So, when it came to being a mermaid, I believed that it was because all teenagers struggled with being different and that what usually (or generally) sets them apart from their peers.

Now, I live in the US, and I'm an African-American female who's smart (book and street-wise) and has an internal, physical disability: I'm deaf in my right ear. Add in a potential fact that I might have Aspergers (a form of Autism), I never really stood a chance growing up. I knew how to be apart of a group (most of the time), but I was essentially a wall flower in it. There was/are time when I had to dive into things trending for pre/teens just so I had to understand what the big fuss was about. (Plus watching people deal with unnecessary teen drama has always been a turnoff for me.)

Thus leading me to believe Rikki never really had to fight for anything. Yeah, she was pure but not poor enough to live in a single house of multiple strangers (which was my life in 5th grade). She didn't have to struggle to fit in, whether or not that was the case, since she basically had her own little niche of mermaid sisters and (a) boyfriend. In my case, that's more than anyone could ever get in high school- minus the mermaid aspect. But if you add that in, Rikki literally had a whole separate life all to herself where she could get away and in my case, I never had that. Reading and writing was the only escape I had from reality and there were times even that wasn't enough.

So, during that time, if I was one, being a mermaid, like Rikki, would be embeaced but with the rightful amount of shock of the situation would also be there as well.

And maybe I would be prone to abuse my powers, who wouldn't? Having a supernatural ability, using it as I see fit to work for me or against others? I actually thing having something no one else has tend to make anyone else selfish, whether they are all alone or in a small group of those like them. It's Human Nature to be like that. Besides, look when the trio had done so on multiple occasions, yet were hypocrites in regard to Charlotte when she did so to Nate. (Which I will happily point out all the times Rikki did just that, like when she found out she was a part of a fish scheme and all the other times she blantatly almost killed someone with her powers.)

However, I also knew that "With Great Power, Comes Great Repsonibility" is true, regardless of fictional or realistic obligations. If I did want to just pranks someone, I would do it so obviously- with potentially witnesses- and then make it a recurring gag.

(To be honest, if I did and did it so often to a sibling like Kim Sertori, well, let's just say I'd accept responsibility If I got found out because I had it coming for doing said pranks in the first place.)

If I had wanted to use my powers like a weapon to harm someone, I knew I better have a damn good reason to do so, especially if said powers were as dangerous as Rikki's. And then question if that said person was a threat or just someone I really didn't like. And add in the fact if it was on purpose or a genuine accident (like, for example, how I'd like to believe Emma was traumatized after realizing ahe had frozen Miriam alive. Sure the girls saved her in time, but still, that should have been a hint to the girls to not only expand the knowledge of their powers, but become increasingly aware of how dangerous they are. So if they hadn't saved Miriam or Rikki ended up killing her....)

Basically summarizing above, Rikki was shown on more than one regard just how careless and irresponsible she is with her powers and then had the nerve to be self-righteous and hypocritical when someone else does it, and it's someone she doesn't like.

However, while I admit to giving her cudos on some of her ocean adventure - definitely as she's a career diver as an adult- I don't think she really took into account just how much of an advantage she had as a mermaid. While she wasn't a full-on superhero, she probably spent more time in the ocean more than anyone else since getting her tail. Meaning you'd finished being more awareness to the issues on the ocean such as trash and oil spills, taking in for granted having a rich boyfriend could technically help achieve resources to do so. Yeah, they shouldn't be drawing attention to themselves, like at all, but if the ocean is your second home, you can't tell me you'd wouldn't try to help keep that home alive and healthy.

So maybe the producers didn't show it or it just never occurred to them (or in Rikki's case, until her job profession), but if I had mermaid powers and a tail, Lord knows I would have been kept busy for all my teen years cleaning the beaches and pulling up trash after trash to at least somebody caught onto it and started taking action themselves. Not starting a trend, but a chain reaction. And it wouldn't be a seasonal thing either. Basically, if you had the ability to be a live like a fish, you use your human life to bring awareness to sustain that life. We caught maybe a few glimpses btwn H2O and Mako Mermaids, but that would have been a great way for Rikki to express just how much she clearly cared about being a mermaid. But thus she didn't, so I have no reason to believe she did or had a basic understanding of what oppertunities she had offered to her as a mermaid.

I would see it before anyone told me.

And sensing that I'm going off topic, I'll just steer myself back to the point: All other reasons aside, here are my main reasons I never liked her:

Rikki never really grew to have Empathy, or understand when someone is in a place where she once was. She stayed mentally the same as she grew up and it wasn't until she was an adult and found herself back where she started, that she finally developed it.

She actually had more than any other teenage girl can want and more. A roof over her head to call her own, friends and a chance for a significant other? Plus an amazing double life you had to see to believe? For someone like me, who has to fight through obstacles everyday between my race and disability, everything about that spells something worth taking for granted.

She never really took responsibility for her powers or learned from the trouble she caused. Maybe at the time, things seemed necessary, but overall, she was extremely careless and selfish in regards for it. And then some, in regards for using her powers in public and nearly exposed herself, especially when nearly seriously hurting someone, but then had the nerve to berate someone who did just that when she'd done the exact same or worse (adding in potentially murdering someone in the midst of her anger). Season 2 was the so best example of how bad that got and frankly, turned me against her completely to be honest. And Season 3 was basically like Season 1, only Cleo was in Emma's place plus a crazed obsession with protection the moon pool. (Which proven right considered how many damn people found it in the show's history, but still!)

While debatable, she never shown and consideration to the environment ( the Ocean) until it fit her needs. I can name a hundred of ways she could have shown concern and and helped environmental impacts and sea animals affected by it, and do it anonymously, especially considering her future job as a diver.

Like all stories, the 2000s H2O trio is supposed to be 3-dimensial characters who change throughout the story - or in this case, a show - where Emma was a responsible girl who learned to enjoy life, Cleo was a kind girl who learned to grow a backbone and Rikki was a loner who got friends.

As a child, it's easy to see it that way. And considering how Rikki is viewed as someone you'd want to grow up into -Strong, opinionated, stand firm in what's right - who wouldn't idolize that. Anyone, even young girls, should be like that because, in the real world, values like that are rarer than your led to believe.

But when you take into to account of whether or not Rikki is the type of role model you should look up to, then that's why I labeled and the things she's done under:

Static Character.

Rikki started and ended H2O as a mermaid with a rebellious streak. But though she's made mistakes and apologized, she never changed who she was and truly learned from her mistakes, leading me to believe she just kept getting things without any real consequences, thus no character developement.

As I'm ending this, I will acknowledge that I know this sounds like a rant degrading Rikki - and someone will chew me out defending her for it- but after watching all the seasons and how taken Rikki into consideration I came to see if she was real, we'd never get along. So while I'm not going "I hate her so much!" or "She's so ugly!", I'm simply stating why that I don't believe Rikki deserves all the fanfare she's got over the years.

[thelittlestcheshire]

Hello! I’m Katie, and this is my muse Ches. There’s like death/murder tws in this but honestly? I just did this in a quick fact kinda way so... nothing is really detailed.

Is that HAILEY CHESHIRE “CHES” ELSWOOD? Wow, they do look a lot like KATHERINE MCNAMARA. I hear SHE is a EIGHTEEN year old SENIOR who originally attended CARNIFEX Academy. Word is they are an ARISTOCRAT student. You should watch out because they can be IMPULSIVE and STUBBORN, but on the bright side they can also be LOYAL and CREATIVE. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself.

♥ basics; Full Name: Hailey Cheshire “Ches” Elswood Age: 18 Birthday: July 19th Sexual Orientation: Biromantic bisexual Relationship Status: Single Occupation: Student Nationality: American [with French dual citizenship] Ches’s Car

♥ classes;

Anthropology

Shakespearean Studies

Linguistics

Latin

Music

Advanced Sociology

Advanced Psychology

Russian

World History

♥ extracurriculars;

National Honor Society

Theater Club (Actor)

Concert Band (Piano)

♥ background; Place of Birth: Paris, France Hometown: New York, New York Health Issues: Borderline Personality Disorder and PTSD Traumas: Watching her mother die (mugging gone wrong/shot to death)

♥ physical; Face Claim: Katherine McNamara Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Red Height: 5′3 ½” Weight: 115 lbs Tattoos, Birthmarks, Scars, etc: Mole above her belly button, a few moles on her thighs, freckles and face moles. (Face Ref 1, Face Ref 2,  Body Ref 1, Body Ref 2)

♥ relatives;

Father’s Full Name: Edward Valentine Elswood Father’s Status: Alive Father’s Occupation: CEO/Owner of a multi-billion dollar luxury goods conglomerate  (net worth of 50+ Billion in fact - in turn Elswood kids do NOT bat an eyelash at prices) Mother’s Full Name: Julia Andrieux Elswood Mother’s Status: Deceased [shot by a mugger on the twin’s 8th birthday] Siblings: 6 brothers and sisters (family page here) Elswood Children Oldest to Youngest:

Logan (23)

Jamie (21)

Emmett (19)

Jonah / Ches (TWINS)

Effie (13)

Ella (10)

♥ relationships; Ex-Significant Other(s): Probably a handful of people tbh, hit me up if you want this as a WC Reason for Separation: Stuff not working out, Ches getting bored before she got attached, so on - she’s a flirt tbh, it takes her wanting to get invested for her to stay Current Significant Other: N/A because she’s too busy sabotaging shit with Thomas

♥ misc;

Hobbies: playing piano, archery, singing, reading, and acting

Pinterest Board // Musings Tag // Playlist

Ches speaks English and French fluently, her mother was born and raised in Paris so she learnt them both at the same time

DO NOT CALL HER HAILEY unless you really want to end up on her shit list.

She’s the mom friend if your mom friend also goes “I HAVE THE BEST IDEA” and drags you into trouble. Literally, the one who frets over you and proceeds to get you into trouble.

This muse does what she wants, I just write it down I apologize always for her

Doesn’t really... seriously date too much because of past situations (Her older brother slept with the first person she truly loved) and she tries to avoid falling in love

That being said platonic I love yous are her shit, she loves her friends a LOT

Ches is very serious about her studying (and wanting to be among the best of the best because - this girl has Ivy league college dreams and she has no intents on fucking those up)

That being said if you get her away from her books she’s actually a lot of fun, she’s just like work first play later

She’s a bit of a closet nerd - if you look under her bed she has a chest of comic books, she’ll just lie if you ask her about them

Honestly, bios are my least favorite thing so if anyone has questions about Chessie just... toss them my way I’ll eagerly answer them.

♥ bio;

TWs: Gun Violence, Murder, Death, Blood, Abuse (Relationship), Cheating, Mental Illnesses

Growing up as an Elswood means two things, you have a lot of a sibling and a lot of money. Her parents had decided to raise their children in Manhattan, New York, where they could keep a close eye on their multi-billion dollar conglomerate. Her mother, Julia, would take them on trips constantly too - when she wanted to get the children away from the hustle and bustle of the city they’d go to their vacation home upstate, or their private island, or even to visit their family in Paris. At that point in life, Ches was happy. She had a solid group of friends, she had the best friend she could ever imagine having in the form of her twin brother, she had a loving and warm family, and she had a parent who would tell her no. 

When she thinks back to her life before the incident, it feels like a completely different story. A fairytale even, perfect and happy in every way compared to her life now. However, it wouldn’t last, after all, fairy tales didn’t exist and reality was a much crueler mistress. One could say Lin-Manuel Miranda described it best; “life doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes and it takes and it takes.”

Everything changed on her eighth birthday when her mother took her out shopping to get a present for twin brother Jonah at Palisades Mall. A man came up with a gun while they were in the parking lot and asked for all of their money. Julia Elswood compiled but she made one mistake, the simple utterance of “Cours, Ches” as she gave the man her purse.

Ches might have gotten out of the event alive, but not she was not unscathed. Julia Elswood was pronounced dead when medical finally arrived on the scene, her blood coating her daughter’s hands and clothing from Ches’s attempts to stop the bleeding. She might have survived the event without physical harm but she was never the same child she was before after that.

One day she had an intact family, the next day the Elswoods were in ruin. Her father completely shut himself out from the family, only coming out for birthdays and holidays. Her oldest brother stepped up as their parental figure, first starting out with homeschooling before he eventually dropped out to ensure his siblings was getting as much of his time as they possibly could. He tried his hardest to make the loss of their mother easier on the younger girls especially, given how young they were at the time. She helped him with the girls as much as she could (and over time she slowly started filling the role as their second parent). Because of how busy the younger Elswood children kept him, sometimes Logan didn’t have the time to comfort Ches when she woke up in the middle of the night, haunted by their mother.

That was when Emmett stepped in. It wasn’t uncommon for him to sleep on her floor so he’d be there when she woke up terrified out of her mind, and he was there when she just eventually stopped sleeping like people tended to. Over time she realized that Jonah and her weren’t truly two peas in a pod the way they used to be, that Emmett was the only Elswood who truly got her. He wasn’t perfectly normal either, his thoughts and feelings were flawed like hers. 

In a family that made her feel so broken at times, Emmett was a saving grace - a reminder she wasn’t alone.

He wasn’t the only reminder however, another one entered her life in the form of Asher Churchill when she was 11. He was on vacation in Paris while she was visiting her family when their paths crossed, they were fast friends and there was a point where she wished he would stay longer, a wish she felt guilty for after his family went through their own trauma. The experience only solidified her friendship with him, however - she likes to think that no matter what happens, she’ll always have Asher. He’s her ride or die, one of the few people who’s willing to put up with her all of her shit and want to keep her in their life. They even tried dating at one point, although that was fairly short-lived. She simply doesn’t love him like that.

It didn’t take her long to find someone she did love like that, however. Ches had thought she was fucked up before she met James, that she was at the worst point she ever could be. He showed her how mistaken she had been, even now she doesn’t like thinking about everything he had done to her. She doesn’t discuss everything he had put her through nor does she have any intentions on truly discussing the worst of the abuse she endured while dating him. Her past with James does have an effect on her, it made her terrified of truly falling in love with somebody again. 

James is also a massive reason why she doesn't get along with her brother Jamie, the two Elswood siblings never recovered from Jamie sleeping with Ches’s boyfriend. It causes a good deal of tension in the Elswood home but Ches can’t just forgive him, her brother never even apologized for his actions, she wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t hurt her because her father wanted them to get along for his own sake. They were on the rocks before this and afterward the tension just got a whole lot worse.

Perhaps the increasing tension was a factor in Ches deciding she wanted to attend Carnifex, the fact she knew Asher would be in attendance was another factor. (Although she plays dumb to the fact she actually knows he’s a Churchill, if he wanted to lie to everyone, she was going to play along - no matter how adorable she thinks the fact he actually believes she doesn’t know is.) It’s certainly a factor in why she stays, she gets very homesick at times - even after attending boarding school for her entire high school career. She misses her younger sisters, she missed Emmett and Camellia, and she misses her friends in the city. She also dislikes just how restricted she truly is when it comes to Instagram and trying to grow her influence while she attends Carnifex. Networking had to wait until she was home and sometimes she questions why she decided boarding school was a good idea.

And then Ches looks at her friends, at the education she’s receiving, and all the fond memories she’s developing. Carnifex, and now Luxor, was well worth the fear of missing out she feels. She’s happy in Lake George, and she has no intention of leaving the area before she graduates.

Please note, Asher is mentioned a lot. He belonged to an ex-member who is no longer here. I may write him out later but for now, keep that in mind.

TLDR / quick important notes recap for rereads:

Ches’s mother was murdered on her 8th birthday in front of her

She was raised by her oldest brother, Logan, and is NOT close to her father really. She also helped raise her younger sisters and is very protective of them.

The Elswood she is closest to is Emmett, Jonah and her grew apart after her mother’s death.

Ches’s first real love was James, they dated (entire)Freshman-(mid)Sophomore years, it was abusive (much more than Ches will ever discuss unless she gets majorly close to someone and they HAVE to know (cough still hasn’t happened though cough)) and Ches is now terrified of falling in love again. Her messy as fuck relationships & exes all start after this point.

[r-ultrazul]

From BF to YASHA, Yoshida never changed.

[This article contains heavy spoilers of YASHA and Banana Fish]

[There're two bonuses at the end of the article. Please jump straight to the end if you only want to know some interesting facts (also with spoilers).]

[As I’m not a native English speaker, sorry to make you tolerate possible language problems.]

===========================

After reading YASHA, I realized how it inherits part of BF’s theme. Basically, it picks out the “mirrored” relationship between Ash and Yut-Lung, then elaborates it with the story of a new pair of characters: Sei and Rin. They are artificial genius twins (genetically modified) raised in very different conditions, which results in their different characteristics, like the two faces of the god Yasha. Other settings are very similar, such as conspiracy involving Japanese and US government, Chinese underworld forces, secret experiments, and beautiful but dangerous prodigies…

Here I try to explain the inner connections between the two series, and how YASHA further elaborates some of Yoshida’s main interests while creating stories and characters. It also talks a little bit about Eve’s Slumber, YASHA’s sequel. (There’s no full English translation of Eve yet so I haven’t read the full story.)

1  The objectified children

Many of YASHA’s core concepts can be found in one of BF’s extra stories, “The Private Opinion” (thanks for the translation here) which tells how Blanca met Ash for the first time and became his tutor. Published in 1996 (YASHA started in 1996), it serves as a bridge between BF and YASHA.

1.1 The objectification of a child. In the short story, the primary job of Blanca was not taking care of young Ash. It was a "project evaluation," to see if Ash was worth working on. If Ash failed Blanca's evaluation, Dino would send him back to his ill fate without hesitation. Here we understand that Dino didn’t train and educate Ash because of love (which was not clearly explained in the original story). It was out of utility as if he was treating a product.

It's also how Amamiya Kyoichiro treated Rin in YASHA as his adoptive father, who raised and Rin as a tool instead of a son.

1.2 The artificial genius The short story reveals some of Blanca’s past. He was chosen as a child prodigy when he was young. After 15 years, only 18 out of 300 children survived, Blanca being one of them. Thus he tells Dino: “To artificially create an elite – that’s a saying of utter nonsense in the first place. Mankind isn’t strong to such an extent.”

However, YASHA is precisely a story about the “artificial elites” and the problems they bring about. Sadly Blanca never appeared in the story, so we don’t get the chance to see his reactions about the matter…

2 The unqualified fathers

Although Yut-Lung and Rin are portrayed as opponents in the stories, they are not the real antagonists or villains. The “delinquent” fathers are the real villains in both stories.

Yoshida has a strong tendency to portray negative fatherhood. Even in her early work, “Kawa Yori mo Nagaku Yuruyaka ni (Longer and Softer Than River)” the absent father is the one who ruined the protagonist’s family and got him to where he is. In BF, we see at least 3 characters that claim to be the “father” of Ash: his biological father, Papa Dino and Max Lobo, and two of them are not doing a proper job. Eiji also comes from a family that the father is not functional (in "Fly Boy, in the Sky," his father has been sick for a long time so young Eiji was under a lot of stress, and Ibe was the one who helped him to get through.

In YASHA, things become even more apparent. We are presented with several unqualified fathers.

Amamiya Kyoichiro, the adoptive father of Rin, is basically a milder version of Dino. He is not a pervert, but a “control freak” who treated Rin as a good product. He isolated Rin from all others since childhood to prevent him from “wasting his talent” and uses him for his own goals. Once he found out that Sei was “better”, he would dump Rin without hesitation, which left Rin in utter desperation.

However, what makes the character even more interesting is his cowardice, not his power and wealth. Kyoichiro suffered from the violence of his own father - a tyrannical patriarch - for many years. The bravest thing he ever did was trying to get married with Hisako (Sei’s adoptive mother) without his father’s permission. For him, such “rebellion” or “sacrifice” gave him the right to control Hisako as if she owed him a debt, making the woman run away and steal baby Sei from the laboratory. Later, when Rin was abused by his father, Kyoichiro didn't dare to intervene. Because of his cowardice, Kyoichiro turned from a victim to a perpetrator, causing Hisako’s death and Rin’s twisted personality.

But, being the initiator of many tragedies, Kyoichiro kept doing what he believes to mean love. He tried to clone Hisako because she was “the perfect woman”. He was willing to offer Sei anything only if the kid went with his plan. And, like Dino, he finally gave his life to protect Sei (Rin), making him another complicated, mixed character. Love or possessiveness, who knows.

The fathers of the main supporting characters are no good either.

The father of Takeru (Rin’s partner) impregnated his mistress as his wife was infertile. Then he brought little Takeru back and let his wife raise him, causing the break-down of two women and the abused childhood of Takeru.

Ken’s stepfather was responsible for the suicide of his little sister.

The father of Raymond Goldberg was a violent pedophilia, and Raymond grew up to be exactly like him.

……

Among them, Takeru’s father was the only one who realized that they must stop passing on the tragedy to the next generation, which somehow helped Takeru escape from destruction.

Personally, I feel that all these things make the ending of YASHA even harsher than BF. When Ash fell in the eternal dreams in the library, his soul was saved and filled with happiness. But Rin was staring at something that never belonged to him till the very last moment of his life, paying for somebody else’s mistake that had twisted his fate even before he was born.

3  The unconditional love

Love is another theme that Yoshida portrays in both BF and YASHA. What she keeps emphasizing is that the highest love is always “unconditional”. It’s something very close to “godly love”. It’s the way Eiji loves Ash, and the way Hisako loves Sei. Sei’s uncle Dr. Arisue, and his childhood friend Toshi also love him that way. “Love you whatever you do.” “Trust you under any circumstances.” – It’s a bit different from romantic love. In my personal opinion, that’s perhaps why Yoshida tends to deny the category of “BL” for BF, even stressed that Ash and Eiji’s relationship was “non-sexual” in “The Garden of Light”.

What would happen if people can’t love unconditionally? Perhaps the answer lies in Takeru’s question: “Why do people so easily become demons?”

They just shouldn’t ask for anything in return.

===========================

Bonus 1:

It’s definitely not a good idea to be the protagonists in Yoshida’s works. Because they leave us, somehow, in some way, even in the next story.

As a main supporting character, Sing Soo-Ling is the luckiest guy. He lives through all three stories and even has a son (named Lie, with Ibe Akira).

Bonus 2:

According to the interview in the Official Guidebook of Banana Fish, Yoshida said that Blanca was initially designed to be a woman. She wanted to draw an affair between female Blanca and Ash, but the idea was stopped by the editor. (Thanks for the translation here.)

This is her illustration of female Blanca (photo by me):

In YASHA, she finally got things done. What a persistent author… And that scene between Sei and Ru-Mei leads to the story of another sequel, “Eve’s Slumber” .

Fin.

R 2019-2