#so basically my cousin died this morning

[cruel-summerxy]

I’ve been going to intern at a dentist as a DA all week. Today was the longest day I was in there and as soon as I got out I got bad news. The crazy part is that my sisters had to let me know before my parents bc they know I break down crying and my parents always feel bad for me.

[gothamite-rambler]

Batfamily Mitzvah (I learned about Bruce is canon Jewish because his mother was and this is if Kate dragged Bruce to a family bar mitzvah) (Batfamily Chronicles Microfiction Series)

Kate is reading a People magazine.

Kate: Bruce, do you know Linda?

Bruce (sorting through paperwork): The crazy family member? That doesn’t narrow it down, does it?

Kate: Not really. She’s our third cousin, but she goes by Aunt Linda. She’s the one who hit her husband with her car, and when he survived, they stayed together.

Bruce: That Linda... I’ve always hated her.

Kate: We all do. But her son's son—

Bruce: Her grandson?

Kate: Yes, smartass. They’re throwing him a bat mitzvah in a few weeks, and they invited me. You’re coming.

Bruce: I’m busy that day.

Kate: I haven’t told you when it is.

Bruce: My schedule is full when it comes to visiting 'Aunt' Linda and her insane family.

Kate: My bad, cuzzo. You misunderstood. That wasn’t an invitation; it was a command. I’m not going alone.

Bruce: Why not?

Kate (looking up from her magazine): I’m a lesbian, and they’re very religious. Linda will be there and has made it very clear that “Oh, it’s just a phase, darling. You’ll find the right man!”

Bruce: Why am I coming, though? I don’t like her, and I don’t want to hear her voice.

Kate: I’m bringing you so she can ask why you’ve adopted those kids and aren’t married yet, how one of them died and then came back to life, why you’re dating a former bank robber, and why you only have one biological son. Tsk, tsk, naughty, naughty, naughty. I told her some things about you in the group chat, and she’s already asked a lot of evasive questions... about you. Make sure you have a good suit; that’s basically all you wear.

Bruce: Oh, okay... I have no say in the matter. Got it. Fine.

Kate (dryly): There’s the master detective you pride yourself on being.

Bruce (already regretting this): What time are we supposed to be there?

Kate: We have to be at the synagogue early in the morning because it’s on a Sunday—you are going into the synagogue; I don’t want to hear it.

Bruce groans, rubbing his head. He and churches don't get along.

Kate: After that, the party is at three. I hate talking to so many of them; we can sneak off, have a drink, whatever you want to do, and show back up at four. Are you bringing the kids?

Bruce (sarcastically): Was that a question I'm allowed to answer? Thank you so much for allowing me to respond.

Kate: I can be nice like that.

Bruce (aggravated): No, they’re not going. I don’t even want to bring Damian. They wouldn’t like that side of the family.

Kate: Hmm, I never asked—are you practicing Judaism?

Bruce: Nope.

Kate: Why? Aunt Martha was Jewish; by extension, you’re Jewish.

Bruce: That’s not true.

Kate: You’ve studied numerous forms of fighting, weapons, and even opera, but you don’t know that if your mother is Jewish, you’re Jewish, too? Damian, however, is ethnically Jewish. Your dad doesn’t factor in... were you unaware?

Bruce glares at Kate, refusing to answer.

Kate: Oh my goodness! Yes, I knew something you didn’t know!

Bruce (rubbing his forehead): Yup, I’ll give you that. But for your information, I was never raised with a Jewish upbringing.

Kate: Seriously, I thought they’d do something—

Bruce: They died when I was eight in an alley. You lose the spirit of anything when that happens!

Kate (sighing): You use that excuse too much.

Bruce: My parents died!

Kate (silent for a second): My sister is clinically insane, and one of your sons shook hands with God. It’s not a competition.

Bruce: The way Jason tells it, he met Satan for some time.

Kate: He’s joking; were you unaware of that as well?

Bruce refuses to respond, pretending to read a document on his desk.

Kate (laughing): Are they aware you’re Jewish?

Bruce: Yes, but again, I’m not practicing. So it’s like... yes, but no.

Kate: Oh, so me. Cool.

Kate returns to reading, while Bruce looks over a case about Scarecrow.

Bruce: Can I pay you—

Kate: You’re going to this party; money won’t change that.

Bruce (semi-sarcastically): I enjoy when we spend time together.

Kate: Aww, same, cuzzo.

(Batfam mitzvah part 1 of 7)

[depressopax]

Before it's too late

Nacho Varga x gn!reader

Fandom - Better call Saul

Yoo! I haven't posted in ages, been feeling down and mentally exhausted 😭 Also been writing on my very own novel for a school project AHHH Basically been writing, procrastinating, writing, etc etc... But so far so good!

Now then... ✨Angst time✨

Pairing: Nacho Varga x gender neutral reader Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort Warning(s): BCS SPOILERS! Based on s4e3 “Something Beautiful”. Major character injury. Mentions of death and violence. Blood. Guns and bullet wounds. Cuss words. Mentions of surgery. Reader is gender-neutral and has they/them pronouns Words: 1.6K Summary: Based on s4e3, in which Nacho gets shot by Victor and is left in the desert. After being saved by the Cousins, reader rushes to the vet office to see him.  English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3 || AO3 link || Masterlist || Request ||

The sun is burning in Albuquerque today, making the concrete and highways threateningly warm. It’s an early morning and will only get hotter. The streets are empty and people are either sleeping safely in their beds or avoiding the burning morning-light. It’s a perfect day to stay in the shadows or - for those who have the option - close to the fresh breeze from the AC. 

Not everyone has that option. 

But bleeding to death in the desert is a rare case, too. 

This is how I die. 

Nacho thinks. He’s lost track of time. The man is lying on his side, facing away from the sun and hoping it will protect him from a sunburn. It’s the last thing he needs right now. 

The wounded shoulder is enough. His hands are bloody and so is the warm sand he is facing. 

Dehydration and blood loss. - That was not the way he thought he’d go down.

If it weren’t for the sharp pain in his shoulder - that’s slowly spreading throughout every inch of his body - he’d feel angry and humiliated.

Gus and his men left him to bleed out in the middle of nowhere. The damn Chicken Man. 

Arturo is dead. 

Nacho? About to join Arturo in the afterlife. 

His mind is bitter and he’s losing the battle of patience. 

“Do it quick, before you pass out” - That was the words of Gus’ lap dog, Victor. He was quick. Directly after he was left bleeding, he dialed the number to them. The Cousins. 

Where are they? 

He’s lost count if it's been days, hours or minutes since he got shot. All he knows is that he is slowly going insane. The sun burns his neck and he lets out a grunt, opening and closing his dry mouth. There's a taste of iron on his tongue due to his dry, chapped lips. 

Water. His vision gets blurry and with gloomy eyes he looks at the wet, red sand under him. 

They’re not coming. Those fuckers aren’t on their way. 

I’m dead. 

The realization hits Nacho, fueling the pain he’s already feeling. 

Dad. 

Guilt washes over him. What will happen to his dad if he dies? That, and…

He whispers your name hoarsely. 

You. His beautiful partner. The one who’s always been by his side, the only one that knows about and doesn’t judge him for his fucked up choices and his chaotic life. The person he’s been so distant and cold towards lately. Worst part is… 

They have no idea how much I love them. 

“I love you” - A sentence yet to be said. So many emotions are left unspoken, so many things left unsaid. 

Without thinking or caring about the consequences, Nacho reaches for his phone. With shaky, bloody hands, he dials your number and listens to the waiting tone. 

“Ignacio?” A soft voice filled with concern says. Nacho smiles. 

“Did I wake you up?”

“Yea… But don’t worry. What’s up, Nacho?”

The silence lingers. What the hell is he supposed to reply? 

“I gotta tell you something.”

“Nacho… What is going on? Are you ok?”

“No… But listen, mi amor.”

“Ignacio…-”

“I love you.” Silence again. His voice cracks from the emotions “...I love you so fucking much.”

“Why does it feel like you’re saying goodbye?”

“...Because I am.” His voice is barely a whisper anymore. “Take care of my father for me, will you?” 

Your voice breaks on the other line. 

“Where are you?”

No reply. You realize it’ll stay that way. He is too stubborn to let you help him. As if accepting defeat, you break apart.

“Don’t cry, mi vida…” He whispers.

“Please don’t die. Please.” 

I promise. Nacho wants to reply. But the last thing he wants to do right now is give you false hope. So he stays quiet. His ears are ringing and he wonders how he still has blood left in his body. 

“I’m sorry.”

“I love you, Ignacio. I love you…”

He smiles in relief. That was all he needed to hear. 

It’s all said and done and now he can at least die with some peace.

“And I love you.” 

He hangs up.

When a character faces death in movies, they see their life flash before their eyes. 

A cliche. Nacho thought up until now.

He envisions the few happy and peaceful moments he’s had in life. Most of them involve his dad Manuel, and you. The first date, first kiss, first time… 

Maybe it’s the sun or maybe he’s actually walking into the light, when suddenly a shadow covers it. He grunts. 

In the distance, he can hear two men talking to each other in Spanish. Someone lifts him from the ground. 

Exhaustion catches up with Nacho and everything fades to black. 

You almost kick open the door to the Veterinary Office. 

How you even got the address is a miracle.

Maybe because you’ve called Nacho’s phone at least twenty times within the last hour, or maybe because they know Nacho has a partner? That seems unlikely. Nacho has made sure to keep the relationship secret from everyone, to protect you. Only people that know that he is your boyfriend are Manuel Varga and your family. 

The last explanation… Maybe, somehow, Nacho’s Cartel colleagues are humane enough to let family and friends say farewell to their dying loved ones… 

Apart from an elderly lady and her cat, the waiting room is empty at this time in the morning. The receptionist looks startled when she sees you. But then again you can’t judge her. With puffy and red eyes and the almost wild expression on your face it’s no wonder people are concerned. Without waiting for her to greet you, you rush to the office whilst the woman shouts after you. 

Nothing can prepare you for what you see. 

It’s your boyfriend - lying down half-naked on a metal table whilst the vet, Caldera, performs surgery. Two men in suits stand next to the tense vet, watching over his every move with caution. As the door shuts behind you, the three men turn to look at you. One of the twins raises their guns. 

“What happened to him?!” A voice barely noticeable. The man lowers his gun as his brother mumbles something to him. The vet goes back to work and Nacho squirms on the table. They’re killing him. 

You know that's not true and makes zero sense. 

But what makes sense about this situation either way? 

You don’t realise that you’re shouting allegations until someone grips you and drags you out of the room. Before you get kicked out of the office, a weak voice calls your name. 

Nacho. 

Minutes turn into hours, morning turns to day and then afternoon. You remain seated on the cold tile floor hugging your knees against your chest. The anxiety grows stronger and it feels like you’re about to drown in worry. When the door to the office finally opens, you can barely stand up. 

It’s impossible to read the expression on his face. The scrubs he’s wearing are stained red. You can feel your stomach twist. 

“He’s alive.” 

Nacho wakes up from his feverish dreams. His mind is foggy and his eyes feel heavy. The sedatives are wearing off and his whole body aches, especially the place where the bullets penetrated his shoulder. 

He is in a cold room with his bare back resting against an even colder metal table. He feels like shit. With a raspy voice, he repeats the only word he’s been able to say lately. Your name. When a warm hand intertwines fingers with him, he finally breathes out. 

Your sobbing wakes him from his trance. He opens his brown eyes and looks at you through heavy eyelids and black eyelashes. He manages to give you a weak smile and in a raspy voice, he greets you.

“Hey, mi vida.”

“Hey, my love.” You reply and manage to smile through the tears. “You’re alive…” 

With those words said, you burst into tears again. The cousins and Caldera look uncomfortable with the emotional outbursts and the scene between the two lovebirds.

“...Let’s give Varga and his partner some time to talk.” the vet says. He’s quick to leave and the twin men don't protest. 

Once finally alone, Nacho brings a weak, trembling hand to your cheek. He feels the soft skin against his palm and feels a sense of relief. When you lean forward he doesn’t think twice before pulling you into a kiss, and then another one. 

He’s alive. 

“I love you. I should’ve told you earlier, I… I’m sorry.” 

Your boyfriend tries sitting up and winces in pain. 

“You don’t need to apologize.” 

He can no longer hold back the wave of emotions. The shock of watching Arturo die, the stress Hector and his nephews have caused him, for years. The worries for his own life, but mostly for his dad, and you. It all comes crashing down. And now… Gus is a threat.

Nacho knows his life just got more complicated and a lot more dangerous. 

He’ll have to tell you everything. 

But for now… 

He cries. He lets you hold onto him. 

Nacho squeezes you close to him, to make sure you can’t slip away. 

Once he’s healed, he’ll go back to duty. He’ll protect you.

But for now… He lets you protect him. 

When you whisper “I love you”, he feels at peace. 

You’re his shelter and his home.

Did my mentally unstable a- cry when writing this because I love Nacho so damn much?? Yes. 2am emotional damage

[ambyandony]

hang on look out monster au la squadra concept post

ft. iltas oc zatta

//spoilers for vento aureo

formaggio: naphil / nephilim

(some sort of biblical sort of being but what they are isn't entirely clear from my research; some suggest theyre giants, some say half-angels, some say they're fallen angels, I went with both fallen angel and giant)

he uses little feet to adjust his size as desired but his actual height is 10' so assuming zatta does exist in monster au she hates him even more for having the audacity to be that tall

cats fucking hate him, and he keeps trying to pet ghiaccio who also hates him

he loves cats though

he has a broken, inverted halo

fucked up weird eyes that scare people

lots of naps and sometimes when he wakes up his eyes are fucked up and scary

started the laser pointer thing which was then perpetuated by melone so eberyone always blames him when furniture gets broken

weve all thought about killing you formaggio

annoying

doesnt use magic for anything useful

magic by nature but due to his 'fallen angel' type indivinity status he has less innate control so on the full moon he gets particularly moonsick and 'drinks it off' (does not work, does not help, makes everything worse)

illuso: mirror ghost

zatta is paranoid about mirrors in the la squadra hideout because of one accidental incident in the bathroom which was frankly a mortifying ordeal for the both of them and neither has mentioned it to the others

used to be human, hes pretty traumatised about being dead but hasnt explained how he died and doesn't like thinking about it

he cant read text when its written left to right anymore

mirrors in every room of the hideout except bedrooms where mirrors are kept covered and only uncovered in case of emergencies so sorbet is always seen standing out of view of mirrors because of the Incident

they actually have a really really awkward TV setup specifically devised so illuso can also watch TV

scared of gelato

one time zatta accidentally shattered all the mirrors in the hideout with depeche mode. this was inconvenient for illuso who said he himself actually shattered for a bit until there was a new mirror.

GO DIE PROSCIUTTO

zatta also hates the mirror cracking noise that happens around him

on full moons he actually becomes visible outside of the mirror but its fucked up and scary

prosciutto: lich

his anchor is probably his pendant

his jaw is partially exposed, since he's undead, his body isn't in the best shape.

hes not a real necromancer he doesn't know how to actually properly raise the dead and wont try (unless..?)

the rivalry with illuso is preeeettty one sided

wears perfume because he doesn't smell like rot, but he smells like, 'death'. it makes people subconsciously afraid of him, so he masks it.

his room also smells like perfume/air freshener. he has one of those automatic wall spray things.

his pillowcase is basically doused in cologne and is black because he either drools or bleeds all over it in his sleep because body preservation is a part of his morning routine.

his eyes dont really... see? not in the same way as bruno where hes blind, because he can still 'see', but his eyes dont follow movement anymore, and are very dull and blank.

on bad days he coughs up blood.

he dies every full moon and then reanimates in the morning and has to basically dose himself up with necromancy to regain a normal looking form

he's partially immune to his own stand due to either having no body heat or just due to the necromancy. his body doesn't function like it used to, but he still has blood flow.

pesci: human

i also had the idea that pesci was undead brought back by prosciutto but i didn't wanna directly state that

i basically relate him to my cousin who has a scooby doo special interest i think

instead of hooking / detecting just hearts, i actually changed beach boy a little - it hooks / detects auras, and can detect a lot from just that.

basically, instead of nearly killing himself buccellati doesn't evade the detection, he overwhelms it because of his super powerful divine eldritch angel aura and pesci is like WHAT THE FUCK????????? WHAT THE FUCK GET ME OUT OF HERE

either nothing happens to him on the full moon or he dies if exposed to moonlight and reanimates in the morning like prosciutto

he also detects as a normal human by aura and doesn't have corpse traits

what the fuck is going on

fishing :)

melone: cambion

( half-human, half-demon. most ppl automatically assume that it's always human x concubus but it's not but unfortunately in melones case his father was an concubus/incubus )

i already made a lorepost about this idiot and his impractical wings and tail

he gets really moody when people bring up his inhumanity but openly (when its safe) uses his abilities

never met his father, he thinks, anyway

never used sugent absorption because he doesn't want to turn out like his father (also why he treats baby face kinda like a son)

so hes actually a bit manastarved since concubi are more built for sugent absorption than they are for the environmental absorption he actually uses

circumstances of his conception were horrific. he was pretty much blamed for his own existence by everyone around him which may or may not have affected his mentality and traumatised him and shaped his worldview and motivated his actions. yknow. mightve had some bearing on the reflection of his soul.

doesn't excuse it but yknow. his mother didn't love him and he doesnt know if he even understands love

not as creepy about his stand and Women as he is in the anime, actually pretty clinical about the process and just a weirdo with innate vibes that make people uncomfortable because he's a Specific Kind Of Demon

concubi aren't actually inherently sexual, it's just that the ones that are heard about happen to have Done Things that give the whole subset a bad name.

It's true they feed off the energy of other Beings, and that can be done Sexually, but that doesn't make them inherently Averse To Consent. Concubi are physiologically built for sugent absorption and thats about it.

concubi are unfortunately very much magically wired and manaflow is as crucial as blood and airflow to someone like melone. passive environmental absorption and reactive / interactive absorption (absorbing energy from the interactions of people) provide enough to survive.

melone isnt his real name but he prefers it.

lets be clear im still hitting him over the head with a rolled up newspaper

ghiaccio: ailuranthrope

(ailura type, incomplete formshift subsect, pathomorphic variety, selkirk rex breed; blue and grey coat)

transgender?

his transformations are tied to his emotions which are very volatile, the partial formshifts mostly affecting his face, head, arms and tail

due to his hyperfrequent shift triggers, ghiaccio is essentially in constant or near constant pain as he keeps shifting and never enough to lose awareness.

his anger issues stem from his autistic ways and general mental illness but are made worse by his unending hell of a physiological state.

in a vicious cycle, thusly, his shifting is made worse when he shifts because he gets angrier.

basically has chronic pain. due to the most common formshifting locations, this typically manifests as mouth pain, unbearable migraines, back pain, and ear pain.

he always seems pretty bruised. he has incredibly frequent nosebleeds and tinnitus.

zatta empathises. still gets mad

habit of sitting in chairs very Wrong and usually kneel-sitting instead of normal sitting because of too many incidents sitting on his own tail

might have once been a normal human, and got Turned

he sheds

bad bad habit of biting and scratching himself so hes very very scarred up

often relies on melone's illusory magic to blend in

has tried to kill himself and it did not work

he only falls for the red dot at first but doesn't actually chase it, just throws himself at it and then his sense kicks in.

generally doesn't have any complete transformations, except for on the full moon. because it's the only time he fully shifts, he kinda goes fucking insane and goes into Beast Mode and it's up to others to keep him from doing that.

the spray bottle does not work

one of the rare few who can use his stand in full ailuromorph

i like to think he spends most of the white album ep in cat beast form

would kin izutsumi

autistic about linguistics (we know this)

still struggles with metaphor and idiomatic expression

hate

risotto: sanguisuge

tall

autistic

flat affect

quiet

drinks blood

eats blood in form of metal

doesnt understand a lot of things

does understand how to be quiet and scare people

fatherly air about him similar to buccellati but much scarier

keeps hitting head on door frames

me and the bad bitch i pulled by being magnetic

actually able to drink not only from people's bodies but also their auras

how do i preheat the oven

has basically no idea whats going on in normal contexts

sleeps completely prone face down stiff as a plank and with his eyes open

[she-karev]

Pregnancy Reveal (Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev’s Sister)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of One

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Andrew DeLuca x Amber Karev (Alex Karev’s Sister)

Canon Episode: Season 18 episode 19

AN: Hey guys I know I’ve been posting less and that’s because I started Fall classes so I’m super busy. I’ll try to post one shots for holidays and major events so here you go. Like and reblog below and let me know what you think.

Summary: Andrew and Amber get through the day they are supposed to donate blood as the residency program is reviewed. Before she donates Amber realizes she’s late and takes a pregnancy test.

Words: 3772

March 7th, 2022

Amber drives the car into the parking spot with her husband Andrew DeLuca in the passenger side yawning. She shares his exhaustion as they were both up late last night trying to get pregnant. At first the dates were fun and playful but then they both settled for plain quickies as their schedules have gotten crazier with the accreditation council review of the residency program pending. Having your job possibly taken away from you by a bunch of suits makes Amber want good news as soon as possible.

Andrew rubs his eyes, “Are you nervous?”

Amber blows a raspberry at that, “Well I might get fired from the job I have worked my whole life to get fair and square, there’s a nationwide physician shortage not to mention a blood shortage. On a scale of one to ten I’d say I’m at a 12 on the stress scale.”

Andrew holds her hand kissing her knuckles to comfort her, “There are other programs in Seattle or maybe we can look for some out of town. I’m an attending I can get any job I want, it’s the one perk to a physician shortage. Maybe NYU has some openings, it is your alma mater and your Cousin Jen lives there.”

Amber gags in disgust, “I hate New York. It’s stuffy, it’s filthy, the coffee is always burned, and we’ll be lucky to get a 2 bedroom that’s as large as our walk-in closet. It’s not a great place to raise a family. Trust me my cousin would agree with me.”

“Boston?” Andrew offers again, “Avery is running the foundation, and he loves you as much as Alex maybe he can call in a favor for both of us.”

“Right now, I just want to donate blood and not think about what happens if I lose my job. Also, I want to hang out with my good friends I haven’t seen in over a year, that’ll be a plus. It’s not a plus that he’s visiting because his mother’s cancer is back but I’m trying to find silver linings.”

“Better late than never.” Andrew jokes with a grin, “Well hey maybe after we donate blood, we can scurry off to the on-call room and try to get pregnant again.”

“If I have enough energy once I eat my cookie and orange juice, I’ll think about it. Maybe some coffee before will make me eager to try again. We should head inside before we’re late or Bailey is gonna kill us.”

“Yeah I’ll see you inside.”

Andrew and Amber exit the car and go their separate ways to their respective lounges with both tired due to not drinking coffee so they can donate blood. Link sees Andrew and walks by his side pushing his son Scout forward in his stroller.

“Morning.”

“Morning.” Andrew says tiredly.

“Wow you look wrecked, I guess you skipped coffee to donate too.” Andrew nods confirming, “Do you want to go to Vivace after and have expresso for brunch?”

“Oh, that sounds amazing.” Andrew says longing his caffeine, “I’m gonna need at least four shots, minimum and so is Amber.”

“Bad night of sleep for you guys?”

“No, we’re just still trying to get pregnant, it is exhausting.”

“Oh.” Link says sarcastically, “Well poor you having constant sex with your gorgeous wife. You should take a day off, take a break.”

Andrew chuckles lightly, “Okay fair enough but it turns out the fun of trying to have a baby diminishes with every attempt. I mean don’t get me wrong the sex is adequate it’s just the romance dies and all you want to do is just show up and get it over with.”

“So basically, you guys are already turning into parents?”

“Basically.” Andrew confirms before they go through the entrance.

Later

Amber walks down the hall to head to the resident’s lounge until a familiar voice calls out to her.

“Amber!” She turns to find the happy greeting coming from April Kepner who smiles at her before approaching her.

“Hey, wow look at you.” Amber is referring to April’s slight bump over her blouse showing off that she’s three months pregnant with her and Jackson’s third baby, “Is it cliché if I say your glowing?”

“I’ve only heard it about five times since I landed in the airstrip but if you have any other compliments I will take it.”

“Uh your well rounded with child.” April chuckles with her before they hug and pull apart after a moment, “Where’s the rest of the Avery Clan?”

“Jackson is with his mom and so is Harriet. Catherine wants to hear his eulogy for her funeral even though she is still kicking.”

“It sounds fun.” Amber says with a grin, “How’s the baby?”

April rubs her small bump, “He’s good, ultrasound is great, he’s extremely healthy on all the tests which to me is a god given miracle. If only I’d have another miracle and not experience the morning sickness and the tiredness and the crankiness that came with my last pregnancies.”

“Oof.” Amber exhales in sympathy, “I cannot imagine how I am gonna be for those nine months. I’d probably be an inspiration for the next horror film and Andrew would need a riot shield.”

“Any luck?”

“No not yet, we’re still in the conception phase.”

April grins mischievously, “Well it is the most romantic and fun phase.”

“Yeah not really.” Amber admits bluntly, “I mean don’t get me wrong he’s great and he takes care of me after it’s just that after a while the romance dies and I can’t stand to be around my husband.”

April snickers, “Your out of the honeymoon phase and you’re like every married couple I know. I gotta say it was about damn time because you two in eternal bliss was getting annoying especially to me.”

“I am gonna chalk that up to the hormones.” Amber checks the clock, “I’m sorry I really gotta get going, we’ll catch up later?”

“Yeah of course, maybe we can double date tonight, triple if Alex and Jo are in.”

“I’ll check with them and get back to you, bye.” Amber walks away from Jo and heads to the residency lounge to get ready for the day to donate blood before she hears about the fate of her career.

Later

Amber and Dahlia Qadri are standing in the corner of the pit filling out forms to donate blood. Both residents are stressed about the accreditation council visiting them and feel the task of donating might lessen it.

“You know a few months ago I would find donating blood a little bit scary.” Dahlia confesses as she writes down, “I mean it’s not the blood that scares me it’s the needle in my arm I’m afraid will pierce a nerve or an artery. I read this story 2 years ago about this woman who couldn’t feel her arm after donating blood. Apparently, the phlebotomist hit a major vein instead of the artery and now a 19-year-old can’t use one of her arms.”

“So what changed your mind?” Amber asks, busy filling out her form.

“Blood shortage from covid, and physician shortage not to mention the outdated guidelines that can easily be overruled allowing more people to donate but they can’t, so I have to step in. Plus, I might not need an arm to pick up a scalpel if the council shuts us down.”

Amber chuckles, “Wow and I thought I was dark. On the bright side if your vein is stabbed you might get more cookies and juice.”

“How are you so calm? I mean out of the two of us you would be the one to get strung out about losing their job. I’m not insulting it’s just from years of knowing you.”

“Yeah, and I would go over every scenario in my head of what the outcome of today will be but I’ve learned from years of therapy not to let my anxieties overcome me. Plus, I’m pretty busy in my personal life to focus on my professional. It turns out trying to have a baby is a great distraction from the turmoil of your life.”

Dahlia chuckles at that with Amber raising an eyebrow, “I’m sorry I am still trying to process the fact that you eagerly want to have kids. I mean intern year you could barely hold a baby without making it cry and you always referred to those tiny humans as Chestbursters like you were in some alien horror flick. But now your every kid’s favorite aunt, you declared peds a specialty and to top it off you actually want to get pregnant by choice. I mean you know what happens right?”

Amber rolls her eyes as her friend continues, “Theres the swollen ankles, no more six pack abs or beer, pickle cravings and you know what happens to your vagina at the nine-month mark right?”

Amber smiles at that, “Okay one I can get my six pack back, two I love pickles and three yes I know what happens during childbirth my friend and I will be there for it every step of the way. I have a strong pain threshold so I think I can handle birthing a child.”

“I’ll tell the residents to steer clear of your room, or as it will be called, the house of horrors.”

Amber chuckles before walking away with the clipboard to go to her husband who is leaning with his back at the wall out in the hallway. She sees him yawning as he writes down his information on the clipboard to donate.

She grins at him leaning back next to him against the wall, “Wow and I thought I was in rough shape.”

“Yeah, this is the longest I’ve ever gone without my coffee. I am eager for the needle in my arm because it’s less painful than how I feel right now.”

Amber pouts rubbing Andrew’s arm, “Well just think about your private reward in the on-call room right after, I have been told by many guys I am the best remedy.”

“What guys? How many are we talking?”

Amber chuckles at Andrew’s jealous tone, “Relax I just wanted to get your heartrate up so you don’t faint on me. How about I write down your information? I can read it a lot faster than you.”

Andrew knows this to be true due to Amber developing speed reading from her years hanging out at the public library. It’s a skill he wishes he had but for now is grateful that she does as he eagerly hands her his clipboard.

“Baby you are a godsend.”

“I know.” Amber smiles flattered taking the paper, she reads it and something catches her off guard, “Wait that’s the date? I thought it was the 2nd.”

“Nope it’s the 7th, you were working in the hospital for three days straight and went into a mini coma three days after.” He sees her eyes widen at that clicking her pen that he knows is her nervous tic, “Hey, what is it? What’s wrong?”

“…I’m late.”

“Late for what?” Amber glares at him making a quizzical you-know-what look that makes his eyes widen as he realizes she is talking about her period, “…Oh.”

Andrew is surprised at this sudden development standing there in the hallway looking at his wife whose glare turns to staring. Amber gulps at this news standing there with her husband who looks shocked as well, neither of them not knowing what to do at this very moment.

Later

“Okay I got a test and don’t worry nobody saw me.” Andrew tells Amber who is in the resident’s lounge sitting on the bench drinking her water bottle. He pulls the box out of his coat, “I figured you wanted this to be private until we get confirmation or not. It’s better to know before donating blood and harming the baby without knowing it.”

Amber nods and sips her water bottle with a stern face that Andrew knows too well, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Amber chuckles darkly, “Uh let’s see there’s a blood shortage, a physician shortage, we’re hardly home because the backlogs insane, not to mention I might be out of a job. And that’s just off the top of my head of what is wrong.”

Andrew understands her argument but knows he needs to mend it, “We both agreed there’s never gonna be a good time to have a baby especially now but we decided to get pregnant anyway because we wanted a family.”

“I know.” Amber stands up and sighs, “I know we decided to have a baby and I do want one with you it’s just that the timing and everything. Curse the timing!”

“Everything is gonna be fine.” Andrew says soothing holding Amber by her shoulders as she keeps a frown, “The program is still being reviewed, as long as everything goes well your job is safe.”

“That is not reassuring me at all.” Amber retorts due to the hospitals bad luck, “Do you have any idea how expensive kids are? The diapers, the toys, the furniture, they practically come with their own economy crisis. If I lose my job we lose money for that and my kid will be just as nurtured as I was and that should freak you out!”

“Okay babe I need to remind you that this kid is not a daughter of a neglectful schizophrenic and abusive addict. She is ours, and regardless of what is happening we will be fine. We have savings and if you need to you will find a new job. The one upside to a physician shortage is that everyone is hiring doctors. No matter what happens if we are pregnant, we will give this baby a better childhood than the one you got. I promise okay?”

Amber inhales slowly feeling better after this speech knowing that its true. Even if the residency program shuts down her baby will still be better off than Amber ever was. She looks at the box in Andrew’s hands before taking it.

“Do you always have to be so perfect?”

Andrew chuckles lightly at that, “You call it perfect; I call it being a husband. So pee on the stick so we can get an answer once and for all.” Amber chugs her water before going to the bathroom to do as suggested.

The next five minutes pass by slowly for the couple who are still in the lounge waiting for the results. Amber is pacing the room back and forth tapping her phone nervously while Andrew is sitting at the bench looking at her in worry as a dark question blooms in his head that he blurts out.

“Are you having second thoughts?”

Amber pauses and faces her husband with a conflicted look, “I’ve convinced myself for years that I wasn’t or ever will be mom material. I mean you met my family so you saw how that environment made me scared I would repeat their mistakes…but you convinced me that we are not our parents. And if history serves you’ve been right on most occasions and hopefully on this one too.”

Andrew nods feeling better before Amber says something else, “But I am still terrified of what happens if that stick is positive.”

Andrew nods at that, “I share the same feeling trust me. I mean my father didn’t exactly give me any pointers on how to raise a family either.”

“Okay I’ll give you that one.” Amber inhales and exhales before shifting into peacemaker mode so Andrew can feel better, “But we’ll figure it out.”

“We will figure it out.” Andrew repeats just as the timer beeps in Amber’s hands. The couple look at each other nervous knowing what that means, “Results are in.”

Amber goes to the bathroom where she left the pregnancy test on the counter. She closes her eyes and takes a deep inhale before opening them. The two sticks on the test catch her off guard as she is aware of what this means. She picks up the stick and numbly walks over to Andrew who is sitting on the bench anxious looking up at her holding the stick up.

“I’m pregnant.”

Her husband looks frozen in shock for a moment before standing up and grabbing the stick to confirm it in front of his eyes. He looks at her with wide eyes that she shares as the news is still daunting to her.

A grin starts to form on his face as the shock dies and joy enters, “We’re having a baby?”

Amber begins to grin as well. A part of her was worried she would feel regret once she was positive but instead she feels happy to finally have a family with the man she loves. She is finally overcoming her fear and being the mother she never had.

“We’re having a baby.” Amber confirms with a smile that Andrew shares before hugging her tightly laughing in joy. Amber laughs at his reaction hugging him back, “Okay as adorable as this is I don’t have to tell you squeezing me isn’t good for my current state.”

“Right sorry.” He immediately pulls back still holding her by her hips, “I’m just…overjoyed. I mean to do this with you, it’s everything I never knew I wanted.”

Amber grins tenderly at him gripping his shoulder, “Me too.”

That Night

“Kids are playing, I promised them if they behaved, they would each get two scoops of ice cream so I hope your packing.” April tells the gang in Alex and Jo’s kitchen where they are eating from a charcuterie board and drinking wine.

Alex and Jo are sitting at the table across from Amber and Andrew with the young resident reeling from the news that the residency program was shut down effective immediately. Maya Bishop and her wife Carina DeLuca are also in the room sitting on the barstools by the counter after Andrew invites them over to celebrate once news of Carina’s citizenship came through.

Alex answers April, “We got enough ice cream to feed a party so I think we’re good. As long as your husband got us some of his expensive whiskey.”

“It’s scotch actually.”

Jackson is by the counter untying himself feeling suffocated in the suit before pouring himself a glass of whiskey he brought from Boston feeling like they would have a reason to drink. He upcaps the bottle sniffing the rich aroma from the cap.

“Ah notes of baked apple, oak and despair. Perfect.” He pours himself a glass before pouring two glasses and hands them to the Bishop-DeLuca’s who gladly take them.

“Congrats on the green card, news like that deserves good scotch so this is my gift to you.”

Maya chuckles looking at the drink skeptical, “There’s good scotch?”

“With Avery there is because unlike the rest of us mortals he can afford it.” Amber answers with a mocking grin.

“I missed you too buddy.” Jackson responds back to his good friend before sipping his drink, “And sorry that I couldn’t save the program. I would have gotten you a whole case of expensive whiskey of your choice but even I have a budget.”

Amber sighs, “You know what it’s fine, I’m healthy, I’m alive and the world didn’t blow up. Despite what happened I would call that a win.”

April looks at her friend sympathetic, “Well don’t worry Jackson is gonna help with restarting the program, same with Meredith and Bailey when she gets back from sabbatical.”

“And I’ll help too.” Alex states, “This program deserves better than to be shut down by someone who spent only one day observing it.”

“Amen.” Jackson agrees as he feels fond of his residential years, “So what are you gonna do with yourself until then? Maybe I can pull strings and get you into Seattle Pres.”

“Or you can join me and Carina in OB.” Jo offers as well with a grin, “I know it’s not ideal, but it might just bring you some joy like it brought me joy too.”

Amber grins at them trying to cheer her up, “Um I don’t know I’m still debating whether I should volunteer at the stations clinic tomorrow or go to one of those places where you pay to smash stuff with a hammer.”

“I tried that it doesn’t work.” April states causing the Karev’s to look at her startled that a sweet person like her would go to a rage room, “What? You’re not the only ones who feel unbridled fury at the world and it’s broken systems.”

“Remind me not to piss you off again.” Alex jokes before turning to Maya and Carina, “Congratulations on being an official citizen of this messed up country. At least one good thing happened today.”

“Thank you.” Maya says sipping her drink with Carina, “It would be better if the pregnancy test was positive but at least my wife can stay in this country long enough for us to try again.”

Andrew and Amber hold hands at this news knowing how much Maya and Carina want a baby. They also cherish the little life that is now growing inside Amber hoping that being aunts will fill the void of longing parenthood for the couple somehow.

“That’s right.” Carina sips her drink as well taken back by the rich liquor, “Wow that is good.”

“Yep.” Jackson pours another glass and holds it out to Amber who is sitting at the booth next to Andrew, “Here it’s the perfect drink for celebrating becoming legal citizens and dwelling on unemployment come on.”

Amber immediately shakes her head, “Nope I can’t.”

“Come on it’s your favorite, if there’s one thing, I’m good for it’s expensive alcohol I think we both agree to that.”

“I can’t drink because I am pregnant.” Amber confesses with a smile while Andrew grins behind her at the shocked faces of the others. Soon they are met with smiles and joyful laughs especially from Maya and Carina who congratulate them along with Alex and Jo. April hugs Amber congratulating her sharing the feeling as she is also pregnant with Jackson’s child.

Jackson chuckles delighted by this news shaking Andrew’s hand and kissing Amber’s cheek happy that his best friend is pregnant like she wanted. He turns back to April kissing her and caressing her 3 month pregnant belly that she welcomes holding his hand while he does.

Amber and Andrew are sitting at the table flattered by the attention as they hold hands and enjoy this moment excited to start this next chapter in their lives.

[brbzonedout]

More 42 Miles Headcanons

I see everyone writing about Miles basically being a sugar daddy but let’s roll back to reality for a moment. He’s not buying you the world, he might want to but he’s somewhat sensible.

However, say you’re talking about something you’ve had your eyes on he’d probably show up with it the next day. As long as it’s reasonable y’all know Rio monitors his bank account! (This could work for both of them).

“Oh shit I almost forgot…here”.

Miles set down his book bag and reached in digging around for a moment. After a few seconds, he pulled out an unreleased Lego botanical flower set.

“You’re fucking with me!” you said staring straight at him with a shocked expression.

He grinned and handed over the set.

You took it out of his hands gently and admired the sleek detailing of the box.

“How did you cop this these aren't even out yet?!”

“I have my ways,” He shrugged off the question. “Do you like it?”

��Of course I do! I love it thank you.”

You lunge at him with a hug and kiss his cheek all at once. After a few seconds you think to yourself if this isn’t out yet it must have been pretty expensive.

“Hol’ on Miles…how much was this?”

He pulled back slightly and chuckled rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well….”

He’s very subtly compassionate. He doesn't always express his love verbally but will definitely hold your hand while walking around the block or have his arm around while next to him. Just little gestures but they mean a lot.

He’s a homebody in the morning and honestly prefers to go out at night. It's quiet and not as busy.

He’s low-key spoiled, don't kill me I'm not saying his overall life isn't tough based on everything he does for work. What I mean is after Jeff died Rio codled the hell out of him and Aaron really stepped up making sure he was taken care of. He's not bratty toxic spoiled he just usually gets what he wants.

As a little kid, he was the only younger cousin allowed to hang out with the older ones. They thought he was funny so they kept him around.

Going along with the cousins thing, now that he's a little older the little ones always want to be around him at events.

Unfortunately, Bro gets nightmares. But I also headcanon that's how his dimension works I'll elaborate on this in another post.

He was signed up to speak with the school counselor for a while by Rio after Jeff died but he didn't feel like talking so, he lied about his progress in order for the counselor to write him off as ok.

Once he gets really comfortable with someone he can be just as expressive as 1610 Miles, obviously because that's the same nigga.

That’s all I just had these in the back in my mind. Remember requests are open right now so don't be shy! THANK YOU FOR READING!!

[roznnreads]

Chosen not Fated Chapter 2

Eris x Fem!Reader

Tags: marriage of convenience, rhysand slander, depression, suicidal ideation

Summary: Tired of a life in the shadow among the inner circle, Rhysand’s younger sister decides to take her life into her own hands and makes a desperate grab for power.

Chapter Summary: snippets of time over the next 500 years

a/n: so this is a longer one, but bear with me on this one. I know that Mor’s backstory was before the wall was made but ignore that for the plot. For the high lords summet I was just imagining PMQs (Prime Minister Questions) if you are in the UK you’ve probably heard of them. I have put a Great Comet reference in there. If you can find it, I'll give you a cookie.

last part , next part

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6 months after the war

Something was wrong when I awoke at 3am, Azriel had flown to my balcony and forcefully woken me up, my eyes bleary. 

“Come quick, meet in the main hall”. Yelled Azriel, my vision coming clear and he was already gone. I grab a robe to cover myself and leave my room. 

I’m half way down the great stairs to the foyer, eyes already adjusting to the darkness, when I see her. 

Mor, my cousin, looking as if she crawled her way halfway across Prythian. There are stab wounds that are trying to heal themselves yet are struggling, her dress is thin and muddy, the look in her eyes is one of a prey animal. I know that this is not the Mor, she would have wanted anyone to see, the carefully made mask ripped from her as the nails that ripped through her lower abdomen. 

“Mor!”, I sob, running towards her, taking the robe from me and wrapping it around her crumpled body, her shoulders hung low, she isn’t crying, her face is blank, not all the way here. 

The Men standing around the scene are surveying us closely, Azriel stands next to his brothers arms crossed, the three of them look like the Judge, Jury and Executioner of Mor’s fate, they are still and not moving, 

“Take her to her chambers”, stated Rhys in a blank expression, I knew it was directed towards me. I position Mor so she can put her weight on me and rise, with a curt nod towards my High Lord, I stagger with Mor by my side up the stairs, when I’m nearing the top I can make out the conversation below in snippets

“Keir thought–”

“Cassian what–”

“-was in autumn–”

“That bastard–”

I take Mor to my chambers, where she normally stays is farther from the foyer than mine. I lead her to the bed and lie her down, taking her soiled shoes off and covering her in a blanket. As soon as her head hits the pillow she closes her eyes. I thought that she might have died until the soft lowering and rising from her chest. With Mor asleep and not at risk of collapsing in on herself I take my time examining her stomach, pus surrounds the gash, I grab a water basin and a rag. I gently dab at the wound, when the wet rag touches the open skin I feel Mor flinch but didn’t wake up. I gently clean up the gash, the healing looks much better now it's clean, it doesn’t look as messy which is good. It might scar but you can never be sure. The pus is a good sign, she still is fighting whatever infection is still inside her. 

I don’t leave her side, I stay awake, waiting for the worst, for the rise and fall to stop, but it doesn’t, she’s still alive in the morning. Thank the Mother. 

64 years after the war

The High Lords Summet, another performance. Everyone dresses up and pretends to be civil with each other even though half of the attendees want to kill each other and the other want to fuck the other. When you are basically immortal these yearly gatherings always are filled with drama in our otherwise dreary lives. Without this summet the continent would be a much darker place of endless war and strife. It’s fun to sit and watch the members squirm in their seats as the imposed politeness of centuries past remains with the High Lords and their allies use cleverly worded language to get around the insults they throw at each other. 

Nothing ever gets truly done, if anything the opposite happens. 

With the War over the relative peace is wavering as a power vacuum is left, the unity that led to the fey win has split as fast as it was formed, which is to mean slowly yet sudden. There will be talk of a danger to the West with Hybern but nothing will be decided. 

Of course the Night Court is masking our true intentions as well as a good 1/3rd of the court's existence. I’ve perfected a natural sneer, it feels normal to wear, no one wishes to approach you if you look like you hate their existence, But no one would approach me other than a power grab for the Night Court. 

Beron and Helios are ‘arguing’ over Cauldron knows what, the eldest Autumn son catches my eye, he is looking at me with a confused expression, I don’t drop my gaze, I am tired of being perceived weak, The confusion warps to a seductive smirk. I drop my sneer, raising an eyebrow at him in question. 

He has never looked at me this way before, I started attending these events a few dozen years ago, and only after the war ended. I have seen the heir occasionally throughout my life, never paying much attention but with the look in his eye I am frightened. 

200 years after the war

I made up my mind. Well I did 136 years ago, but I never let myself truly believe this will become my future. Since the High Lord Summet I always knew in the back of my mind that Eris Vanserra would make the perfect companion, a chance to leave my crushing depression behind, a new environment. His gaze rarely leaves mine when in the same room. 

Rhysand wasn’t happy, Azriel ever the watchful eye snitched when he saw Eris try to approach me when he came to visit Velaris. I was told to stay away from the Vanserra, for my own safety, to never lead on his advances. I didn’t heed the warning. 

450 years after the war

This is stupid, I should have stayed in Velaris, It isn’t safe here, yet I am compelled to be here. 

I am making no attempt to hide my entry, the entrance was unguarded,  like a venus fly trap waiting until the fly gets deep enough inside before ensnaring it, devouring it alive. 

The dark gray rocks, jagged like they were cut recently, have not formed after years of erosion and nature. It is a disgusting recreation at Hewn City, there is nothing real about this place, all artificial. 

Voices ahead of the path get louder as I draw near, I can hear a commanding woman, her voice shrill, echoing down the tunnel, I hear the murmuring of a crowd, in response. 

Entering the room from the back, I walk out, pushing through the mass of courtesans from all seven courts. 

I stand before the queen on the stone throne, she has deep red hair, a black crown dressed in a low cut black dress, wearing the guise of power. She frowns at me 

“Were you trying to hide someone from me Rhysand, you know what would happen if you tried something of this kind”

“I had no intention to hide anyone, I just never mentioned it, you never asked” Rhysand said calmly. Amarantha wheeled at him breaking her gaze at me

“Don’t you lie to my Rhys” She says with her hand cupping his cheek. I know my brother, the look of love he gives Amarantha, is not true love, with a look like that he could make anyone believe he was their mate from one look in his eyes. 

“I am not lying, just don’t hurt my sister”, he pleaded. 

500 years after the war

Lucien was being idiotic, perhaps it was the 50 years in Spring that made him weak to authority, I doubt less than a year in Spring was enough to build a unwavering loyalty to the human alone, it was probably the unyielding loyalty to Tamlin, it truly is a shame, he was one of the nicer Autumn royals, he is going to die. That is as clear as day, I am watching as Amarantha is whipping Lucien, each lash leaves a resounding echo in the hall, it pierces my ears, Lucien slighted Amarantha, broke a unspoken rule, I can’t look away, I want to but I can’t. 

In a room with all eyes on the kneeling man, I can feel a burning stare into my head. 

I look up.

Eris. You would think that with his brother getting beat he would be focused on that, but he was looking at me, were across from each other, the scene splitting us, Eris is looking at me, I can’t decipher his expression. 

500 years after the war

This is wrong, my brother, someone who is forced to be a whore for Amarantha, making the poor human dress and dance like this. I am surprised Amarantha has allowed this to continue, the first two of the trials have been completed. I know that she is dragging out the time between them but it has been 2 months since the last, and every night we party, perhaps the only fun we will ever have. Rhysand has forced this girl to dance on him, Amarantha doesn’t like to share. It's disgusting. The poor girl can’t dance that well either. It truly is pitiful. 

I realize I’ve been staring at them for far too long, looking away I feel a figure stand beside me, I’d not noticed before, but they must have been there awhile

“And here I thought the Night Court was better than this” said the man, I glace at him, seeing the Autumn Court Heir.

“And what gave you that perception Lordling”

“I met you, Surely, I thought, a beauty like you could not survive such a evil environment”

“You thought wrong Vanserra” I say, with the bitterness I struggle to conceal. 

“My dear, what have I done now,” he said moving in front of me, blocking my view of the Amarantha’s whore and his harlot. We're so close together now, I can feel his breath on my face, as he peers down at me waiting for a retort. 

I meet his gaze, moving slowly closer, glance down at his lips. When he moves in, I back off, moving farther back then before, a modest 2 feet between us, something that would have been considered proper if not for what happened moments before. 

“Excuse me my lord, I need to rest for a moment”, I say. I turn my back to him and make my way to the chambers, he doesn’t follow. 

501 years after the war

The curse breaker's wedding is in two hours, Rhysand has not shut up about her since we returned to Velaris, he’s acting like he is 100 again, a poor little school boy with a crush.

The news of the Wedding reached the Night Court last week, not an invite, just the announcement, It could be seen as a slight but considering how Tamlin and Rhysand hate each other, an invite wasn’t expected, The announcement had unnerved the high lord, currently he is pacing around the war room, waiting to build up the nerve to fulfill the deal made 3 months ago. 

“There’s no way for you to stop this” said Mor “she loves Tamlin, her love was shown in front of all the High Lords, it is that love for which she is alive right now”

“If you feel that strongly, object to the wedding, make the bond known to her”, I said

Rhysand’s pacing slowed.

“Why don’t you just speak to her, you could have taken her any time over the past few months, told her then, you still have two hours until the ceremony starts,” I snip. 

“No, as much as I can feel her suffocating spiral, in her mind all she is saying is that she must marry him, and if that is her choice, I must follow it, no matter how much it pains me” said Rhys taking a seat in on a couch

“Marriage is not the end, she is now fey, divorce is an option, The Spring isn’t that strict on women regardless” Mor states “she must fulfill her end of the deal, eventually”. 

506 years after the war

There is to be a massive celebration for the birthday of the High Lady, A week of revelry ending in a ball with members of other Courts in attendance, Feyre’s birthday shall be the day before with an intimate get together of the circle. 

Large groups of people aren’t my favorite thing in the world, spending the day surrounded by the inner circle. That is what I truly dread.

Preparations are being made, I’m in charge as the sister to the High Lord with a wife there is little for me to do other than plan social events and tend to the house all in the assistance for the High Lady, A glorified ladies maid. Despite my resentment I think the ball will turn out spendley, as long as certain members invited can keep the dick measuring contest to a minimum. 

“Are you alright” said Elain leaning into my view “You’ve been zoned out for quite some time”

“Oh, It’s nothing, just going over the plan for tomorrow evening” I state in a blasé tone. 

“Enough of that, it is a time for celebration, you’ve spend so much time on this you need to enjoy it before the next one comes around” says Elain

“I’m sure you’ll have fun, it’s like your glued to the dance floor”

“If you danced you would understand, we are in Velaris I’m sure if you asked someone they would accept” said Elain, she held my hands in hers, hand covering mine, a sympathetic look in her eye.

“I haven’t danced in many centuries, you don’t know why, so I forgive you but I won’t dance with just anyone”

[durudurururu]

Linked Universe Vtubers Au

So I like Linked Universe. I also like Vtubers. The result? LU vtuber AU! This has refused to leave my brain ever since it came up and now you shall live with this too!

It's a basic modern AU but everyone is a Vtubers instead of any normal job they could have. Their Vtuber lore is the same the actual chars, but their Irl counterparts are different. I'll talk about the agency the characters are in later, so have some fact about them!!

The chain

Sky

Married to Sun.

The one's who's been a Vtuber the longest.

30yrs (may change)

Was a pilot before becoming a vtuber due to his wife thinking he would like it.

Was indie before being recruited by the agency (Was called Crimson).

Time

Oldest in the Chain

46yrs

Was still raised in the forest, but not by a tree

Has a teenage daughter named Navi (had her at 31, she's now 15yrs)

Learnt her to speak Kokiri.

Married to Malon

Only have a few cuckoos and some horses instead of a whole ranch.

Only became a Vtuber since his wife and daughter likes them and he wouldn't mind some extra income.

Has a toggle in his model to turn into the Fierce Deity.

In a April fool'd stream he has a 3D model of Time as a kid which he used the whole day.

Warriors

25yrs.

Twins with Linkle and lives with her in an apartment in Castle Town.

Used to live out in the country but moved away since he doesn't have the best relationship with his dad.

Hides his accent, uses a quite posh one.

Worked full time at a make up store in the morning and did night security shifts at 3 times a week before becoming a Vtuber.

Quit because it was making his health way worse and he had more wiggle room when Linkle moved in as she (supringly) also had a job.

Became a Vtuber due to the extra wiggle room. Wanted to be one since they helped him through some tough times.

Wind and Arryl (his cousins) visit him on occasion, and he loves them.

Wind found out his Vtuber identity immideatly, but is not a snitch.

Dating Arthemtis.

Crazy ex Cia that he still had traumas from.

Wild

24yrs

Married to Flora

Used to date Mipha before the accident.

She lived in another country and though she wanted to give him her support, she often couldn't, and since so much about him changed with the memory loss, she sadly had to cut her losses and break up, even if Wild technically didn't know it at the time.

Still looses his memories, but now because of a car crash. His parents died in it and though his sister survived, she didn't go in a coma but went to an unknown relative. Happened when he was 19, awoke when he was 20.

Wheelchair bound but can technically walk and stand, just not good.

Does his best to hide the fact that he's disabled.

His model does not have any scars because of this as he wants it to be perfect, unlike himself (yes, he is in therapy, because who thinks he isn't perfect?)

Became a Vtuber as it was difficult to find jobs he could do whilst wheelchair bound that doesn't pay like shit or force him to move away for college. He also really liked them regardless.

Trans (FtM). Had surgery before the accident and didn't know until he was 21.

Most popular of the chain.

Four

4 streamers in one channel.

Green, Blue, Vio, and Red

Blacksmiths, but has some extra jobs as it doesn't pay too well.

Quadruplets.

20yrs.

Became Vtubers because of Shadow and since they wanted the extra money.

All their desks (+Shadow's) are right next to each other.

Both streams alone and with each other. Rarely all 4 unless it's a special occasion.

Has a model that all four can control at once. Yes, it absolute chaos.

Their individual models are just coloured differently than that one ^^, otherwise looks the same.

Streams at least 4 times a week, one day for each of them.

Green

Dating Dot.

Works part time at a café

Helps with planning their streams and any collabs that their manager doesn't do for them.

Blue

Works at an animal shelter when he's free.

Has almost ruined his set up too many times to count due to gamer rage.

Vio

Dating Shadow, but hiding it...kind of. They're playing up their relationships for jokes and the community ships them to all hell.

Has a Shadow body pillow that doesn't exist Irl (yet) that their model sometimes holds during streams.

Non binary (they/them).

A bit goth.

Works at a library.

Red

Aromantic and Asexual!

Calls his fans his Rubies.

Everyone—including the rest of the chain—will protect him with their life.

Works at a a cat café. It is a different café than Green, and he hides that he's jealous about being able to work there.

Hyrule

Lives in the middle of nowhere and does not know where anything is.

Somehow lives off of hunting (don't worry, he has a license) and the instant noodles etc he buys from the store that's very close to the middle of fuck who knows where.

Somehow still used Internet Explorer when he started. Did not know what Firefox was until Legend explained it to him.

Refused to use Chrome as he didn't know how to change his browser.

Still shocked at being a functioning Vtuber.

Became one because money was getting tight and since he grew up in a village in the middle of fuck who knows where, didn't have too many good jobs he could have.

Legend

24yrs.

Married to Ravio.

Still refuses to wear pants.

Puts even more of a tsundere act when on camera.

Has quite a posh accent but hides it and uses one that's actually normal.

Twins with Fable

Twillight

25yrs.

Dated Midna, but she suddenly broke up with him and he's still slightly heart broken.

Time's (technically Malon's) nephew.

Got a country accent.

Sadly had to move out of Odinia because of college. Now works part time at a veterenarions clinic.

Became a Vtuber because it sounded fun even though he wasn't the biggest fan of it at the time.

On his debut stream he found a toggle to turn his model into a wolf and Legend send a donation just to call him a furry.

Wind

15yrs/18yrs

Doesn't join the agency until he's 18, and he's 15 for most of the stories that I have planned. This may change.

Warriors' cousin. Often visits because his Grandma can't take care of them every day, especially Aryll.

Slowly starts to join streams even though Warriors is very reluctant. Warriors' fans love him.

About the agency and some lore:

The agency is called Fates and their theme is good vs evil. Their first wave was called Inception and had four members: First, Fi, Hylia, and Demise.

They were suprisingly successful, but after 1 year, Demise took a break because of some bad rumours about him started to spread, and not long after, First graduated due to personal issues.

Fates was already in the progress of adding more members, and eventually the new wave by the name of Clouds came out, having 2 new members: Sky—a former indie Vtuber by the name of Crimson—and Ghirahim, who was also an indie before joining the company.

Everything went great, Demise coming back to streaming...but then the rumours came back, and they found out that they weren't just rumours. Demise was quickly terminated as he had been harrasing fans on an alt account, then Ghirahim got terminated as he had been meeting with his fans Irl and given them special bonuses, which even went for outside of his streams.

As a way to save their image, Fates let out a new wave by the name of Destruction shortly after, having 3 members: Vaati, Dark, and Shadow.

Both Sky and the members of Destruction got a fair amount of hate, mostly from people saying that the company is simply trying to replace First and Demise with cheap knock offs.

Fates has open Vtuber auditions for the first time since the agency started, and recruit 7 people that joins a wave called The Chain: Time, Wild, Legend, Hyrule, Twillight, Warriors, Four.

Later they would open auditions again, and have a new wave by the name of Mortality with 4 members: Impa, Calamity, Majora, and Ganondorf.

Other important characters:

First

Most popular member when he was still streaming

Hand picked Sky as his succesor

Fi

Though she technically didn't graduate, rarely streams any more. Now is a higher up in the company.

Helped Sky find his footing at the start.

Sometimes holds Vtuber game shows with Shadow

Hylia/Zelda

The most popular streamer in the agency.

Often has collabs with Indie Vtubers and Impa.

The best at the game show Shadow hosts.

Was re-named to Zelda because of continued harrasment for sharing a name with the goddess.

Has been a Vtuber for (at least) 3yrs.

Vaati

Graduated after 2 years due to the continued hate.

Still talks with Shadow and Dark.

20yrs when he graduated.

Shadow

21yrs.

Lives with the Four gremblins and is dating Vio.

They are way too gay for each my Lord.

From Lolrule.

Darker skinned.

Used to work at the same library as Vio. Only there because no other place would accept him.

Was with the bad boys in High school, is getting better now.

Likes holding game shows for other Vtubers.

Dark

23yrs.

From Lolrule.

Darker skinned.

Quite shy but doesn't show it much.

Can be very childish.

Dyselxic. Why? Because I say so.

People always said he was a teaser for another Vtuber, which was technically true, but he still didn't like hearing it.

[claudeleine]

today has been so .

flew home for the weekend and on the drive from the airport to my mom’s, my aunt (my mom’s cousin) called to let us know my mom’s youngest brother was found dead this morning?? they said it was a heart attack and it probably happened a couple days ago. and i think we all just don’t know how to process it..

like he was a total dick, i fr referred to him as my borderline fascist uncle, and he was really mean to my mom (all three of her half siblings are terrible to my mom tbh) and we’ve basically had beef since i was little. like for example - he lived with us for a while after my sister was born and he was always a jerk to me. he once told me, like a few years ago, that he didn’t like me then bc he thought i was spoiled and mean to him (i was four) and my sister was the only one who was nice to him (she was a baby??). i won’t even get into all the horrible political fights he constantly tried to start with me but like he suckedddd

but like ofc he was family and he also had my back sometimes and we both reallyyyy hated his older brother together. and it’s really sad to think that bc he and my mom’s other brother and sister are all just so disconnected from each other (and the rest of our family bc of how they’ve treated my mom and others), he died alone and no one knew for at least two days. his brother (who lives across the street) only went over to my grandparents’ old house bc the neighbor called complaining about the dog barking bc he had been stuck in the backyard since it happened. and that’s just awful for anyone and idk just don’t really know what im feeling rn

[quibbs126]

So I probably shouldn’t have been drawing these last night and this morning, considering I have schoolwork to do that’s due by tonight, and I won’t be back home until 6, but I have, so here we are

So I’m really not sure anyone remembers, considering the last time I drew them was around 2 years ago, but these guys are some of my old Evoland 2.5 (I guess) characters, specifically Juno and Jovi

They’ve been percolating around in my head for the past while, as well as these two new characters, and with my work sketches I decided to finally get around to redesigning them in full. Or at least, half up

I do feel like Juno and Jovi look the best, but that’s probably also because I’ve never drawn the other two before. I only had vague ideas for the other two. But I do like how the siblings turned out

Solus is definitely getting a redesign though

Anyways, how about I explain them to you? Since you don’t know who they are

So basically they’re supposed to be from a vague centuries later future of Evoland 2, but also not really considering time loop and all that. So the events of Evoland 2 sort of happened, but also no time travel or time loop

I’ve rewritten Juno and Jovi’s backstories multiple times, but it has now swung back around to making them Demon royalty. But I never like having Juno be the actual crown princess, so that’s what Solus is here for. Solus is the crown prince of the new Demon kingdom (it isn’t called Demonia anymore, though it is still the last name of the royal family), with his father as the king. Juno and Jovi are his cousins (Juno is the older one), with them also having royal blood as their mother was the younger sister of the current king, their uncle

The pair of them live with their uncle and cousin since their parents died when they were children. Juno is a young adult, around her 50s, Jovi a teenager in his 40s, while their cousin Solus is around his 80s or so

Oh and also by proxy of being the royal family, these guys are then Menos’ direct descendants via Reno

I have this vision of Solus wearing sunglasses, which you see here, but honestly I’m not sure if I should keep them. Maybe they’re a bit anachronistic

But the reason he wears sunglasses is that Solus is in fact blind, and he has been his entire life. He’s had to work around his blindness in some areas, like the fact that he can’t really read or write in the conventional sense, but he’s plenty capable. He also I think throws knives, which might not sound safe, but he can do it fine. He doesn’t really like people knowing he’s blind, so he doesn’t tell people, and he wears the sunglasses to avoid the problem of no direct eye contact

And then we have the last character, who I cannot for the life of me name. I just don’t really know what to call her. But she is a Troll, so for now I’m just going to call her Troll Lady

She is in fact the fiancé of Solus, and while there is political value in their marriage, they’re doing it because they want to, they are very much in love. She also runs a factory and is a good 9 feet tall or so (Solus is around 6)

To explain worldbuilding, first let’s start with the Demons. So in this world they did not die out after the Great War, managing to pull through just barely (they might have used the Magi Lab, I’m not sure). But for a time, all Demons lived in the Temple of Menos, which is also known as the Sacred Temple. Eventually their population grew large enough, as well as the Great Flood having already happened and the world settled, that the Demons came back down to the surface and started living in the remains of the old kingdom Demonia, though some chose to stay in the Temple instead. The Demons basically live in a giant tower below the Temple (considering they used to all live in the same building anyways), at the top of which they can access the Temple. Some have moved outwards into the rest of the world, or just more space in the old country, but most live in the Tower

To be honest I haven’t really decided what their culture is like, between the Past/Present Demons, the Temple of Menos Demons, and whatever might have occurred in those next centuries and how they would have evolved. But their outfits are supposed to be inspired by the Temple of Menos outfits, I know that

Moving on the the Trolls, basically my idea is that unlike the Wikings, Humans or Demons, they never really had any sort of cataclysmic event to decimate their population or set them back a lot (the Flood did have them seal up caves so they don’t die, but they were already living underground anyways), so they really flourished and evolved in the next centuries. Currently, they’re very skilled metal workers and inventors, being spearheads of what’s basically an Industrial Revolution in the world. They also don’t really kidnap people anymore, they’ve moved past those days

Though one random thing is that they still think Demons are really hot. My idea is that they’ve got particular beauty conventions, and so to them Demons are just gorgeous. It’s basically supposed to be how like in fantasy, elves (and/or vampires) are considered to be these ethereal beauties, and just naturally very attractive. That’s how the Trolls see Demons, they are their elves in that sense. I don’t know why I have that, but it is

Troll Lady wasn’t originally going to be a Troll, I think she was originally going to be from a separate group of Demons that splintered off from the main ones sometime after the Great War. But then I later thought that maybe she should be another race entirely, considering she’s supposed to be incredibly tall and everything (her two tenants were that she was 9-10 feet tall and that she wore a mask to cover her face), and I was going to make one up like Orks or something when I remembered “oh wait, the Trolls exist”. And not only that, but our encounter with them literally already had them kidnapping a Demon because they thought he was attractive, it’d be perfect to have be our new Demon prince’s fiancé. And so yeah, she’s a Troll

So now let’s talk design things, since I still want to say them. Mostly with Solus

I’m gonna be honest, at this rate I’ve forgotten that we don’t see any Demons with orange hair and that I gave Juno that hair color to be unique. But the artbook has some Demon concepts with orange hair, so I’ll take it. Same thing goes for Solus having his dark purple skin. The artbook told me these were possibilities, so I am going to run with them. We didn’t see enough Demons to know otherwise

But I also feel like Solus and Juno look too similar. Yeah, they’re cousins, but between the three of them, I feel like it’d be far more believable to assume Juno and Solus are the pair of siblings while Jovi is their cousin, when that isn’t the case (also Juno and Jovi are now bio related instead of Jovi being adopted)

Part of the issue, at least when it comes to the hair, is that Solus is supposed to have a sun motif, at least with his powers, his colors, his name and also the fact that he’s blind. So I wanted to give him orange hair, and I’m not sure any others would work (especially as I consider yellow hair to be specific to the “Super Saiyan” mode for Demons). But Juno already has orange hair, so they end up looking really similar

I suppose the best solution would be to just change Juno’s hair color, but her hair’s always been orange, it feels wrong to change that. But it gets rid of the problem, so I should. But what do I change it to then?

Also, I really don’t know their color schemes right now, at least outfit wise. I think Jovi’s looks fine, but I’m struggling with Juno’s and Solus’. I just kind of slapped stuff on

I guess what they need is more concept designs for me to flesh them out. But I don’t know how easy that’ll be

And then as for troll lady, her outfit colors are fine, but I didn’t really know what to do for her colors other than just the regular Troll colors from the cards. I mean, I guess it works, but I also feel like I should do more

I also feel like her anatomy needs work, but that’s fair enough. She’s supposed to have a different build from the Demons (and Humans) due to being a different species, but I haven’t quite fleshed out what that would entail. Or what she looks like under the mask

Maybe I should do some Troll practice later on

But I think that about covers everything, so I should stop now and go get ready for work. And I suppose in the meantime, take these

[softpine]

Two things: (1) would love some behind the scenes thoughts on your most recent post, especially regarding the background convo Elaine is having (her reactions aren't shown and I just feel like she could be so helpful in piecing some things together/formulating theories) and (2) I'm especially curious about Finn's book selection. What was your thought process when you picked them? Which are his favorites and why? Do some of the themes of the stories, symbols, lessons, or characters line up with Frozen Pines or specifically Finn's arc in general? I love pretty much every single book in Finn's stack and my brain has been going wild all day analyzing them lmao!

thanks for asking!! so originally i did include elaine's dialogue too, but i found it really wasn't necessary and i was able to include more hints by cutting out all the transitions between each piece of information. the thing i found interesting is how lucy is reluctant to speak to them about who finn was as a person, because that's where the majority of her guilt lies. asa and elaine are certainly not the only people who've asked her to talk about her son, and she must know how bad it sounds that she can't name more than 1 thing about him. it clearly causes her a lot of distress. so when asa leaves the room, elaine doesn't bother asking her more questions about griffin -- she gets right down to business, talking about the case, not the person. and lucy opens up to her immediately, because this is easier to detach from. she feels secure in the knowledge that she did everything she could after finn went missing; she has no guilt over that. here's a full breakdown of everything she was saying:

(… why I called my sister first — ’cause that’s where he would’a gone! I never thought something bad happened to him, just thought he ran off …) the first question elaine asked is "why did you wait so long to call the police?". finn ran away from the camp site in the evening, and no one noticed until the next morning, when everyone sobered up. lucy & richard didn't call the police for many hours, instead choosing to look for him themselves. lucy called her sister first, because she thought that would be the first place finn would run away to. when her sister told her she didn't know anything about finn coming to stay with her, then lucy called the police. by then they'd already lost a whole day of potential evidence.

(... come to find out, the only thing they took prints off was the cigarettes. Now tell me how that makes any sense, that a killer would stop to smoke Griffin’s own damn cigarettes? They never found ...) finn didn't smoke, but he did carry a pack of cigarettes in his back pocket at all times; mostly to look older. when his body was found, the cigarettes were also found, alongside a bunch of broken glass from a beer bottle. the police never took fingerprints from the bottle shards, only the cigarettes. this is ridiculous to lucy, and elaine agrees. the killer never would've touched the cigarettes. they used the bottle as a weapon, so if ever a fingerprint was going to be found, it would've been found there. but now we'll never know.

(... cousin was never the same. She got herself institutionalized, you know. She said she could see Griffin, hear him talkin’ to … ) this one is a deep cut lol. lucy's sister has a daughter, liz, who finn was pretty close to despite them living so far away. after he died, he spent most of his time following liz around, trying to talk to her. she couldn't see/hear him at first, but slowly she began to recognize his presence. she was terrified. eventually she was admitted to a psychiatric hospital, where she was prescribed heavy antipsychotics. at the same time, finn decided to leave her alone because he didn't want to scare her, so she falsely assumes she was hallucinating the whole time due to grief. this is when finn got so lonely & sad he basically hibernated for a few decades.

(... damn cruel, that’s what it was. They had no right to tell me that way. No right. Treatin’ me like a murderer ...) finn was missing for 2 weeks before his body was found. the police have long suspected finn's parents are the ones who killed him. as a way to get them to "crack" they decided to inform them finn was found dead while they were in the middle of a televised interview, so everyone would see their reactions. ever since, people have judged lucy & richard for how they went completely stone cold and "showed no emotion". elaine is angry on her behalf too, because there's no possible "good" way to react to that information. it was always meant to be a trap.

(... always getting himself into trouble. He used to be such a good kid, and then, well, I don’t know ...) elaine had to bite her tongue at this part. lucy is basically saying she doesn't understand why finn started getting in trouble at school, stealing things/money, fighting back against his parents (to some extent). she still doesn't understand the gravity of the abuse she played a part in. like no shit he started acting different after his most formative years were spent in survival mode 🙄

(... ’bout two months before our old friend Chris killed himself, cops brought him in again. Yellin’ at him. Telling him they had all this evidence they don’t got. He was …) she's talking about chris porter, steven's dad. the guy who jada saw a vision of and who asa sees in spirit form every night. steven also wondered if his dad might have killed finn. when steven himself was about to die and was briefly able to talk to finn, he said: "[Chris] came home late that night drunk out of his mind, and his shoes, his pants, everything was soaked. I know they were, 'cause he threw a shoe at me and I had to clean up the mud. And he was different after that. I never saw him smile, never again. When the cops finally came 'round, I lied and said he was home all night. He was my dad, what was I supposed to say?". but lucy clearly doesn't believe chris did it. elaine remembers hearing about chris' death (it's not every day someone decapitates themselves on the train tracks) so she was more curious about what evidence they claimed to have gathered on him. she's not sure she believes it was ALL a bluff on the police's part, but she doesn't say that to lucy.

sorry that was so long omfg but to answer your question about the books: i think the prevailing theme is mostly "books a 10, 11, 12 year old shouldn't be reading yet" -- not because i think pre-teens can't handle these types of themes, more so because i wish no kid could relate to them yet. these themes include forming concepts of morality and justice, feeling ostracized from society, lacking control over your own life, complicated family dynamics, loss of innocence, and of course, abuse. there are moments in finn's journal entries where he sounds exactly how old he's supposed to be, but mostly he just sounds so much older and more exhausted than he should be. he couldn't relate to most kids his own age, let alone books meant for his age range. instead, he took solace in horror and mystery novels because of these themes. stephen king is clearly his favorite; he has almost every book of his written before 1982. he also has a TON of books that were later turned into movies (some he was able to watch, some came out too late). i can't even list them, there's so many. he loved comparing film adaptations to the original work and he was a big fan of movies in general. the really sad thing is he writes about wanting to see blade runner and that he's going to read the book that inspired it first (do androids dream of electric sheep? is actually in his stack of books) but blade runner came out just a few months after finn died, so he never got to see it :(

oh and i also was going to scan my own copy of the outsiders and create some annotations that finn would've written (which is why lucy mentioned him writing in the margins in the last post). because the outsiders was my favorite book that i read when i was around finn's age and i can seriously quote it cover to cover, so i had plenty of ideas about how finn would've reacted to it. but i decided it just wasn't necessary after all those journal entries. maybe i'll still do it for fun someday lmao

[rainyfestivalsweets]

11/11/23

Made the mistake of weighing today.

As Hagrid says, shouldn'ta done that.

204 point something.

Surprised? After 4 meals out this week, not really.

BUT I am not working overtime and I have had great workouts, even if they have been mostly cardio.

I am also trying not to let myself fall into the Fall Pit of Despair that invariably lasts all winter.

I did a 5k on my lunch break (pictured) then added a cooldown (also pictured... not separate workouts).

I relieved myself of the responsibility of giving my friend a birthday gift and got him cash instead. He is broke again... our relationship is strained since I quit drinking and all he does is gamble and work. I also talked myself out of buying him a cake or vodka... because I thought he would much more appreciate the cash. If he is smart he will buy his own gift with it. But more than likely he gambled it last night.

I went to the thrift store before dinner to browse. Bought a hungry girl book and a verilux happylight. Which I was thrilled to find because I was just talking to my cousin about those. I almost bought a paid of size 14 Maurices jeans, but I didn't. Was thinking maybe I should wait to get jeans for a size I don't fit yet. To stop the never ending "must clean out my closet" brigade. Yet I want to go shopping. Dumb, I know... but good choice yesterday. I have to trust that I will be able to find clothes I like when i actually am that size.

I hit the gym for some tanning and stairs after the dinner.

Dinner: Realized that although there were years that I would have loved to go to that restaurant.... I do not like it anymore. Any future meals there will have to be a No from me. It just isn't worth it. I went too ham on the chips and salsa.... even though they weren't good. I was nervous and basically stuffing my face as an unhealthy coping mechanism. Ugg.

I didn't eat the wraps or sour cream. The meal was too much & not enough. I had some bites of rice and it sucked. It just sucked. 2nd sucky meal this week.

The workout was good tho. 8 min in the tanning bed feels like it might have been too much so I will only do 6 mins next time.

60 mins on the stair meal.

Wearing shorts! The nice shorts from Constantly Varied Gear. I am pushing myself to wear things out of the house that would normally scare me. 😱

I wanted a protein bar all day. It is dumb. Do I really whimsically eat 200 calories of anything else? 🤔 Not really yo.

After the workout I took but CBD gummies and lathered myself in a CBD muscle rub. Had 4 no sugar suckers & those low sugarpeach candies.

I need to work on savoring those candies and spacing them out better.

This morning I slept in and missing my 10 am healthy cooking meeting, dammit. I have been slow rolling the morning.

Finished the Jeannette McCurdy book. It hit on so many tough and relatable points in my life.... I loved it.

I won't be happy when my mom dies... my dad was the issued parent for me. But I still have alot of stuff to deal with, at 43.

[homehauntsyou]

13 and 27 for the music asks!!

30 music asks

13. one of your favorite 80’s songs

TECHNICALLY this song was released for the first time in '78 but this version was released again in & performed throughout the 80's so im counting it because truly no other 80s song can top this for me <3 my cousin and i had a choreographed dance to this song that we would do every single time we saw each other for years so it's very special to me!

27. a song that breaks your heart

NOT TO BE AN ANNOYING MUSICAL THEATER FAN BUT if i can get ONE more person to listen to this musical i can die happy lmao basically this is the song about the morning before all the fathers died and it makes me cry every time :') they're so happy!!!! they have no idea!!!! anyways. i am definitely not the #1 listener of chris miller on airbuds. that would be crazy.

[lya-dustin]

All is bliss

Chapter 9

Cw: mentions of underage sex, refrenced statuory r*pe and loss of bodily autonomy(basically just a regular day in westeros)

Gif by @behindfairytales

Taglist: @mercedesdecorazon @darylandbethfanforever9 @sweethoneyblossom1 @aemondx

Jena Mertyns of Mistwood had risen in court using her gods-given gifts of charm and beauty in record time.

Lord Jasper Wylde had no need of more children ---he had a total of nine and twenty children with the bulk of them being illegitimate--- and while the Ironrod was prodigious with his cock, he was not a prince.

Bookish, violent, and misunderstood Aemond had been her second lover.

The first being her now husband who educated her in the ways of carnal pleasures.

She had been only six and ten when it began, Jena had been a Mertyns by birth and heir to Mistwood given her cousin ,brother of the first Lady Wylde, died without issue less than ten moons onto their marriage.

Ironrod had already had her by the time she arrived at court that year to make her case on the matter of her husband’s will, so she knew there was no one else to seduce to gain what was rightfully hers.

But then she met Aemond.

Aemond who was pleasant company when he wasn’t being the cold and indifferent prince with a talent for violence.

Aemond was she is very sure was a man maiden when she first brought him to her bed weeks after his sixth and tenth nameday.

She made him a man and now he had left her in the dust and replaced her with his six- and ten-year-old niece a year later.

Of course, Jena was a beauty with hair like ebony, a sharp tongue and powerful allies, but Princess Aemma with her silver gold ringlets, sweet demeanor and high rank had made her lose her coveted spot in both court and Aemond’s heart.

You are a servant, she is a queen, her husband had said when both began to feel the loss of her status as the One-Eyed Prince’s mistress.

They did not feel the waning of their influence for too long.

Not now that Prince Aegon out of spite had bent her over a card table after his little wife fucked his brother like she loved him.

Love.

The one thing few have and that you sure as hell do not find with your husband.

This morning she received jewels, gold and a gelding as dark as her hair.

Aemond had not been as generous, how could he be when a second son had less than the firstborn?

“Did you like the gelding, Lady Wylde?” Princess Aemma smiled sweetly as she asked.

She could be a bitch; marriage had made her a delightful creature.

The Pearl of Dragonstone had been as sweet as naïve as her goodsister, only the Pearl’s sweetness had begun to melt away to reveal sharp edges after her return from the progress.

A shitty husband and goodmother does that to a girl.

“Yes, his highness was rather thoughtful to gift me such a beautiful horse.” Jena thanked her knowing this faux kindness will leave once she hears the rumors of her and Aemond.

Jena had the advantage of the court gossip mill and friends amongst the ladies.

Aemma spent so much time playing the lord of the castle and bettering the lives of the smallfolk she had not bothered with making the vapid hens her friends like Jena had done.

Her name was not enough here.

Not when Alicent Hightower ruled with an iron fist.

The girl giggles, “He deserves no such praise, Lady Wylde. The gelding was my gift to you.  He wanted to give you a mare, but the gelding seemed more fitting.”

Ah, so it is true then! The lady catches onto the meaning quickly.

Oh, poor, stupid, Aemond.

He was being used as a stud and fell in love with his brother’s wife.

Really the mummers in Braavos could never write something as good as this.

“Yes, even more than you think, your highness. I heard you have acquired a stud worthy of a kingdom, a stud I broke in myself, I might add.

Rode him till he cried for mercy the morning your highness returned from the progress.” Jena lowered her voice and tried not to look too gleeful when the princess was caught unawares by her words.

She didn’t know, sweet Aemond had not told her about her.

“I suppose I should thank you; he is a great fuck.” The princess tries to shake off the surprise and returns fire like a natural when a handmaiden comes to tell her letters from Dragonstone had arrived for her. “Good day, Lady Wylde and I hope your new gelding satisfies you as much as he satisfied me.”

Nothing like fucking the same man to bring out the bitch in you.

“Bitch.” Jena mutters knowing she can hear her.

“Princess Bitch.” Aemma corrects with a disarming smile.

This will be the start of an interesting friendship.

Because her mother will be returning to court, Aemma must get her tonic ---which is a vial she must drink without fail once a week--- early and have enough in supply for the next moon.

Even meeting Aemond’s former lover has not hampered her joy at having her family and her ladies returning here.

Even grandmother is supposed to be coming for a visit.

Something about Uncle Vaemond wanting to contest grandfather’s will.

Why he’d do so when grandfather is perfectly fine and Baela and Rhaena are above him in the succession, is not said in the letter.

But that is a question for another day.

The first question of the day is why the apothecary’s shop is closed?

And the second is, why is Ser Criston here?

“Your goodmother has had me follow you ever since the agreement.” He says keeping things vague as if their silver hair peeking from their hoods and hats didn’t give them away already.

They wore hooded cloaks and while Teora in her Septa’s robes could hide her, they were too fine to not draw attention to them.

“I was buying fertility tonics; it is not my fault it did not work. If you will excuse me, Ser, I need to find another apothecary willing to keep their mouth shut for a reasonable price.” Aemma lied and tried to return to her unmarked carriage without him tailing her.

She had known the carriage was a bad investment.

“Lord Strong had the apothecary questioned, the ruse is up, your highness.” The Dornish knight whispers as he helps her into the fucking carriage like a little girl caught running off to cause mischief.

“Fuck.” Aemma mutters and gestures for him to join them inside the carriage.

“Language, Aemma.” Her Septa chastised her as if that even mattered now and she tells her so.

“I cannot, will not, have a child. I would rather have Silverwing burn me alive than give Aegon an heir.” Aemma digs her nails onto the leather seat to stop herself from crying at how much she fucking loathes the hand she has been dealt. “I do not want to live my mother’s life.”

“It is for the better of the realm, your highness.” He repeats the same phrase she hears from the septons, the maesters, the members of the small council and now the man who fucked her mother and has the audacity to call her a whore.

“As if that makes it any better!” She scoffed at his words. “My mother did the same and was branded a whore, by her no less! Her grace may feign to be righteous and good, but whatever hell my mother will burn in, it is a consolation to know Alicent will be right there beside her.”

The knight tries to counter her, spread the gospel about poor queen Alicent who only wants to protect her children and make the perfect puppet king for her father because gods forbid that woman grows a damn spine and tells her father to go fuck himself.

But Aemma does not listen.

Once she is queen, she will send her on a long walk off a short pier.

[sotwk]

Hi, Anon who asked about Celebrian here! Thank you for your great answer.

I just loved loved loved your HCs so much it made me sob, fr my 3-year-old sister offered me chocolate because she saw me crying (no I’m not that young we are just like elves: born one generation apart from each other).

Toddlers cuteness and generosity aside, I love that the two women have a sisterhood-type of friendship, me and my best friend are just the same, although not related at all but in Tolkien everyone is basically related to one another and we like it that way. (“Confusingly complex family tree” As you rightly said)

Also I do love your depiction of young!Legolas because he reminds me of my little sister and it’s such a joy to have her around and that is true for him too.

Not relevant to the topic discussed, the idea of Thranduil being jealous of poor Lindir is hilarious, and it absolutely MAKE SENSE. There is a reason he became a fan favorite over the years so I absolutely want to see how that will play out and maybe what his reaction to the knowledge that a prince, a Sindar of Doriath, thinks of him as competition. Hilarious but also true, i dare say.

One last thing: If I remember correctly, but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, Maereth has/had a brother or a sister? Im not so sure of this, I think in The Crown you mention a nephew of the elvenqueen. But I didn’t see them mentioned when you posted about her genealogy. Im probably misremembering or it’s something I made up based on your HCs.

Now I stop ranting. Have a nice weekend! Byeee <3

my 3-year-old sister offered me chocolate because she saw me crying

I'm sorry for the tears, but I hope it was a cathartic cry! *hug* I'm glad the friendship between the two Elf-Queens (Celebrian is a Queen in my mind, titles be damned!) moved you so much.

Toddlers are so amazingly compassionate! My husband woke with lower back aches this morning and our 4-year-old seriously tried to give him a massage. XD You and your little sister sound very sweet!

the idea of Thranduil being jealous of poor Lindir is hilarious, and it absolutely MAKE SENSE.

I have such a soft spot for Lindir! He's just that shy, slightly awkward and nerdy guy who might get overlooked for being quiet, but he's actually a hottie who's unaware of his own sex-appeal. So yeah. Even though he and Maereth's friendship stays entirely platonic, stew on that for a while, Thranduil.

Maereth has/had a brother or a sister? Im not so sure of this, I think in The Crown you mention a nephew of the elvenqueen.

I'm gonna give you a virtual trophy for being the first one to notice this and bring it up with me! I've been dropping mentions of Maereth's nephew/the Thranduilions' cousin in multiple hc posts and fics now! Here are just a few of those sources:

The Crown

Greenleaf's Day Out, Chapter 5

Yuletide in the Elvenking's Realm, Day 5: Five Golden Rings

SotWK OC: Olondir, Master Craftsman of the Woodland Realm

Lord Olondir (oc) is the son and only child of Maereth's brother, Calinondo (oc). Although he died fighting in the War of the Last Alliance, Calinondo is a significant character in the SotWK AU because he became heir to the knowledge and craft of the great Celebrimbor, his uncle and mentor. (Remember that Maereth's grandfather is Maglor, which makes Maereth's mother and Celebrimbor first cousins--they were very close with each other.)

Calinondo passed on everything he knew to his son, so that by the Third Age, Olondir was named the Master Craftsman of the Woodland Realm. Apart from helping craft the Elvenking's famous crown, he was responsible for other creations such as the faemir/calarsil mentioned in "Greenleaf's Day Out". Most of the armour and weaponry used by Mirkwood's soldiers in the Third Age, as you see in BotFA, was also designed by him (alongside Mirion, who was a Master Bladesmith). These Noldorin craftsmen were responsible for upgrading the inferior armour and weapons that contributed to the Silvans' defeat at the War of the Last Alliance. In essence, the fact that Noldorin craftsmanship lived on in Thranduil's family helped Mirkwood survive Sauron's onslaughts.

Because I've been sharing fancasts right and left, here is my fancast for Olondir, nephew of the Elvenqueen: Jake Gyllenhaal.

Olondir is the the only Elf in the Woodland Realm who can grow a full beard in his Second Cycle. Remember whom else he descended directly from? Mahtan, the great smith of Valinor and father of Nerdanel! Olondir keeps his beard to honor that part of his heritage, which he is most proud of.

Side note: I have a creator's crush on Olondir. He's almost like a 6th Thranduilion Prince, and his character is quite sexy. He's got the Fëanorean edge to him. Although he's not super developed in my head yet, I would love to write more about him someday! XD

By the way, Maereth actually had three older brothers; her two eldest brothers were twins: Surlírë and Vëalírë, but they died in the War of Wrath alongside their father Eärondir, so sadly Maereth barely knew them. But boys and twins ran strong in their family, just as in Fëanor's.

Anywaaaaay, thank YOU for letting me ramble on this long again! XD I love you so much for geeking out about my OCs with me, Anon! I'm gonna have to write this down in a proper and more thorough post later on, but it felt really good to share this much!

[ghostrot12343]

A self-indulgent ramble about my playthrough of Scarlet Hollow

I'm mostly writting this as an attempt to get these thoughts out of my head. Spoliers below.

So, I decided to try playing basically myself but more well read (Book Smart) and with the ability to talk to animals. Yes, my first D&D PC was a druid, how did you know? I did as much as I could to ignore bus guy, and I don't like peanuts, so on the bus they remained.

Upon meeting Tabitha, I did break my rule of offering a hug to someone lest they reject it, and reject it she did. So that stung. And in the car, Tabitha's statement about "emotional maturity" did nothing to convince me of anything but her own trauma.

After getting settled in, it was nice to meet Dustin and give him some nesting materials. And as I mentioned, I don't like peanuts, so there's nothing to eat in the house, and I didn't want to break Tabitha's trust immediately, so while I wanted to explore the house, I decided to leave that for later in the week and left the house.

Gretchen is delight and a fantastic friend. Frou-frou is fine, I can respect her need for space, but I'm definitely a dog over cat person. Having a gluten allergy, the diner is a reminder of how unaccommodating places outside NZ were of that, but I've not eaten all day and I'd suffer the headaches for at least something to eat that doesn't contain peanuts.

Meeting Duke with Stella, I told him not to shoot the mountain lions, and uh, well, I had accidentally skipped why he was asking for the flashlight and decided to go save Gretchen who I knew would be killed by the ditchlings like all the other animals we'd seen (also, it was weird that the game tried to suggest the deer's obvious statment on its affliction and warning was a threat?), and as the achievement states, Duke had poor trigger discipline.

Meet Kaneeka & Sybil, but I'm 90% sure I also went back to the estate that night.

The fact that we saw supernatural beings and a man died means I am immediately unconcerned about hiding my ability, there are weirder, more off-putting things going on. One thing I regret about the library was not reading what the game had to say about Tommyknockers.

Of course I immediately go see my cousin when we get to the mine, but I don't wait after I call her about Rosaline because time is of the essence - ditchlings exist, a man died, and this shaft had a collapse that already killed children.

I'm glad no one died, sucks Rosaline lost a foot though.

Checking in on Dustin & his mom is definitely a highlight of the mornings. And I was so worried about Bo dying if I gave him his father's location, but it felt more wrong to keep it from him when the police were so FUCKING USELESS, so it was a relief when I saw him in the later episode.

Cousin Bonding Time is the best, I didn't even know there was romance in this game until hanging out with Reese, but I still would choose CB... cousin bonding time over a date, sorry Stella. And fuck that Piece-of-Shit-Karen Nancy for ruining her morning.

While I thought the pastor left an okay impression and I have no clue why other people found him so sketchy, I also didn't tell him about my conversation with the mayor because I just don't know him.

I definitely clicked that the doc was poisoning Reese even before the game gave me the ability to voice that suspicion. Also, I am still very curious as to why she seemed to immediately detest my presence.

I asked for permission to invite Tabitha and then ignore Kaneeka's objection because asking was a formality. While I didn't object to Tabitha's belief of Oscar's parenting in the car, something that I sort of regretted, and simply further questioned during our morning hangout, I was disappointed that he failed the test of letting Rosaline take part. Like, sure, her being there meant that she knew for sure that her dad wasn't making stuff up, but she also literally lost her foot YESTERDAY, what the fuck Oscar, she shouldn't be in a high stress environment. So, while I don't fully agree with Tabitha about Oscar specifically (she's right about some people shouldn't have kids, *cough* the Scarlets *cough*), he definitely needed to have picked up a parenting book about setting stronger boundries, preferrably a week ago before all this shit happened. But I digress.

Very glad that I was able to win my day in ghost court.

Strike: Told Tabitha people thought she was a hero because of e2 and to not fire Davis, that she should meet with them and after asking what it is they wanted that she should probably give it to them, whilst also being understanding of the financial difficulties of the mine itself. Didn't tell the strikers about Rodriguez because honestly, I don't know what they'd do to him and I don't want another man's death on my conscience and this is less personal than with Bo. Also didn't talk to the strikers in the diner as I didn't want to get attack and/or weaken their efforts.

I did get to go everywhere, the pastor revelation was interesting, but I misread the "this doesn't mean we're friends" and wish it hadn't been so cold, even if yeah, friendship in this game requires immense trauma and life-threatening situations, so you know, maybe Daniel shouldn't want to be my friend.

I regret drinking Sybil's tea, I don't like tea but I thought maybe her insights would be useful... which they weren't. "Oh no, your cousin is going to betray you", I don't trust that idea as far as I can throw it and since I don't have powerful build, that's not very far anyways. At least, according to the decision tree I'm using as reference, I saw more of the Enoch/Teddy interaction.

I do feel sorry for Reese, but no way was I going to let him murder Dr Kelly. That's just more trauma to endure, and also, he does literally turn into a powerful monster when emotionally distressed, so wanting to prevent that from happening is a reasonable desire even if her approach could 100% be better. Also, Sybil was not slick, I already knew she was giving the Doc the castor beans, fucking with my head was as much a confirmation of that belief as hearing it normally. Also, Dr Kelly talking about Reese's dad was really humanising, definitely made me want to chat with her more. Hopefully the game allows you to convince the pair to go about cognitive behavioural therapy / anger management without the need for pills.

Sad that I missed out more Tabitha bonding by not calling her, but I also didn't want to put her in harms unnessecarily (the mines were specifically her business, and the ghost hunting was a group thing anyway). Hope I get a chance to help her and Stella reconnect without having to try and recreate this playthrough up to that point.

And the main reason I wanted to write this:

Based on the death certificate and the vision, Enoch lied about Teddy's cause of death, and with Charlie Jr's death being connected to the sigil and Edwardine's sadness in the moment all leads me to believe that there may come a moment when Tabitha, or maybe the MC, will be tempted to sacrifce the other to secure the future of Scarlet Hollow, and I need to be able to beg Tabitha not to make a blood sacrifice of my character before it gets to that point. And like, I know that feeds into the Sybil tea thing, but that also suggests premeditation which I don't think is the case. I just don't want my character to be made into a literal blood sacrifice on the alter of capitalism when I'm already a figurative one irl.