#so basically ive been right along and this just confirms everything and is also a reminder to get off my ass and Do It. . .ok ok

[indiegame]

i miss doing tarot readings

[tonydaddingham]

https://thesherrinfordfacility.tumblr.com/post/727753998120140800

I was generally asking/ranting. Your ramble made perfect sense and I do agree with pretty much all of it. I have more I must rant about though and I hope you don't mind me throwing this all in your inbox. It's not aimed at you specifically, don't worry.

Why did this fandom decide Neil suddenly thinks Aziraphale and Crowley are not in love just because he said two scenes were not sexual? The oxribs could be taken that way if you want, but it wasn't written to be. The kiss had nothing at all to do with sex and everything to do with a desperate being trying to make the person he loves understand. Neil saying neither of those situations were sexual does not mean Crowley and Aziraphale are not in love. He's said the opposite, along with both Michael and David, far too many times for years now for anyone to believe that. And yet here we are.

Just a few weeks ago we were praising the kiss as smashing the queerbaiting allegations and now half the fandom is right back to saying he's never really thought they were a romance. Insisting that because he thought the idea was odd several years ago it must mean he's lying about it now. That he and Terry didn't plan it this way since at least 2006. Or, even worse, that he thinks gay sex is gross and would never put anything like that in without being manipulated into it.

Because he said sometimes an oxrib is just an oxrib and a desperate attempt at communication wasn't at all sexual.

It's been giving off very strong feelings of "this queer romance doesn't count unless they have sex" goalpost shifting. We've already had more than enough proof that Aziracrow are completely in love, but unless they have sex then Neil's just a queerbaiting liar? Do people not realize how alienating that is to read as an ace fan, even one who wouldn't mind a fun sex scene?

It's also spitting in the face of a man who's been an ardent ally for longer than most of this fandom's been alive.

This rant is about people telling me I'm wrong for supporting this beautiful queer love story because two male-presenting characters aren't having sex and so it doesn't actually count as a queer romance. This is about people telling me I'm wrong for supporting the man who gave us this incredible story because he said two scenes aren't sexual in nature and so he is nothing but a manipulative liar. This rant isn't about defending Neil. He doesn't need me or anyone else to do that.

(for anyone that wants it, a direct link to the previous ask anon has copied above)

hi again anon!!!✨ personal thanks from me - im always humbled (and never have any objection to) when someone feels they can come to my askbox with these kind of commentaries, it really does make me so happy that they feel they can!

i just do occasionally worry if sometimes what im reading as an upset/angry tone (not saying yours was, it was just how i read it!) is a direct result of something ive said/done. so again, thanks for calming my anxiety surrounding that, and popping back to clarify!!!

now idk, by nature of this being a rant, if you wanted to get any answers from me or my opinion, but you're on my boat and im the captain, so it's a bit tough-titties im afraid💕 and once again, will probably repeat a few things you've put more succinctly than i have, but fuck it.

honestly? i cant even begin to give you a basic answer, anon, because i just... don't get it. i think from the tweet exchange that (kinda?) blew up, people took neil saying, "Why did you see it as sexual?" a little bit out of context. to my mind, the op of that tweet literally referenced "The very end of season 2", and that's what neil was responding to (and later confirmed in an ask); the kiss was never intended as sexual, exactly as you've said.

i think possibly some have read it as him being shitty about the concept of sex and specifically in reference to aziraphale and crowley, cross-referenced this with other things he has said (again, more than likely never meant in the context they're being interpreted), and arrived at the above conclusion. it's strange to me, because he has categorically stated that their relationship is intended by him as the co-author as a romantic one. at the very least.

now, he (and sir terry) may not have personally intended them to be romantic at the beginning. but a) neil has been very representative of queer culture and identifications in his other work; the queer element in GO is not exactly strange to be coming from him (ie it's not a bolt out of the blue, and therefore would be potentially performative or queerbaity). and b) as i said in the previous ask, there is a lot of queer representation in GO, of all different types, including gay/lesbian rep. it's not just aziraphale and crowley that are queer in the story, and therefore easily deniable - that's literally not the case. so i do not understand, on this basis, where people can draw the inference that he is homophobic. i just can't - that's a pretty hefty con to have played for so long and so diligently.

i think, from what ive seen, that one of the things that people take issue with is neil's assertion that as supernatural beings, any label as to their sexuality or gender (and how one informs the other) is not applicable to them. i think this has been seen as dismissive of aziraphale and crowley being gay and/or potentially having a sexual relationship. in my opinion, this assertion is narratively clever. first of all - no, they are not human, so on a very base level, sexuality and gender as constructs do not apply to them. they are originally gender/sexless. but this i think only serves to show that aziraphale and crowley are multiple things, and none of those things, all at once. they can be anything you want or interpret them to be, until expressly told otherwise in canon.

on screen, their faces and physiques and chosen presentation however, to my mind, present as human males. but, being crass, we do not know what genitalia or body parts they may or may not have at any given time. they have never described their sexualities (although, in aziraphale's case, assumptions have been made by others). so if you want to interpret them as cis, or intersex, or trans, or non-binary (including non-binary, genderfluid, agender, or bigender), arguably all of those are correct! the only confirmations we have had, iirc, are that, between them, they have used "he/him" pronouns, used the title "Mr", crowley has confirmed he is not a 'lad', and he has previously presented as female. no, human constructs do not technically apply to them, but that leaves their gender and sexuality open to interpretation. i personally hc aziraphale as a cisgender, gay male, and crowley as a non-binary, but usually male-presenting, bisexual person. others may agree, others may not. that the beauty of it!

narratively, these are two supernatural creatures that are, however, going more and more native - they have assimilated to and absorbed a lot of how humans present themselves and interact with each other, on multiple levels. as supernatural beings, they are practically alpha centauri itself (genderless, non-human things that are in a constant orbit and relationship with each other - and then throw in the fact that they love each other deeply). as supernatural-beings-that-have-been-on-earth-for-millennia, however, they are arguably becoming more like what i mentioned above - human. this to me, personally, means that they may identify as male and nb respectively, and may identify as gay and bisexual respectively, and (again, imo) i think would - at this stage - be open-minded to the act of sex. but as i said, once again, in my previous ask - it's perfectly valid if others do not interpret their journey this way.

This rant is about people telling me I'm wrong for supporting this beautiful queer love story because two male-presenting characters aren't having sex and so it doesn't actually count as a queer romance. This is about people telling me I'm wrong for supporting the man who gave us this incredible story because he said two scenes aren't sexual in nature and so he is nothing but a manipulative liar. This rant isn't about defending Neil. He doesn't need me or anyone else to do that.

about the above specifically? im really sorry that you're being faced with this, anon. that is grossly and completely unfair. i don't think you necessarily need me to tell you this, but in case you do - imo, you are completely reasonable and justified for reading them as a queer romantic couple that, canonically, have not had sex (and that this has no bearing on their love story). romance and sex are not the same thing, one can and does exist without the other, and the concept of that separation is not deserving of being pathologised. whilst neil certainly doesn't need anyone to defend him, i think it is always still nice to support the author that has written a story this beautiful, symbolic, and illustrative - and imo, not deliberately misunderstand what he has or hasn't said✨

[saintqueer]

first, i wanted to say thank you for your super long response essay to the earlier anon! i feel like your thoughts are always so nuanced and you laid everything out so patiently and thoughtfully! if you happen to read this and answer it, great, and if not no worries! take the time away from public fandom you need if you need it, take care of yourself and do what makes you feel good!

i guess my thoughts are half-question/half-theory. i definitely agree with you that it seems like there's been a real shift in energy from hl since 2020 and especially lately (and especially that we're missing a piece of the puzzle), but my question for you is, at least the way i read your essay (and totally could be misunderstanding you or missing nuance) it seems like you feel like at least some of this is coming from h&l themselves? and i wondered why?

at least for me, i've picked up on that shift, but i also feel like i'm picking up on a sense that h&l, and especially h, has a lot of plans going a bit off the rails/not to plan atm in general, which would obviously affect louis' plans to the extent they're larry-related/adjacent. i mean, as a glaring example, i can't imagine that whatever is happening with holivia right now is what they intended for this stunt - for most of the news around harry's first major leading role to be about whether or not he was a homewrecker who spent so much time sleeping with his director that the quality of the film suffered. (if that was the plan... idk man, get better pr people). it feels like a plan was made based on the original filming schedule, and between covid delays and post-production, the stunt is lumbering on without any real renegotiation despite the fact that an almost 2 year 'relationship' with no official confirmation in the face of what appears to be a custody battle and increasingly mainstream rumors about on-set behavior makes no sense and looks bad. (olivia's been notably silent on other projects she was supposed to have in progress, so again, something maybe happening behind the scenes there).that also ties in to something i thought when h was announcing his residencies and am coming back around to - that we may be seeing the end/untangling of harry's contractual obligations with jeff/full stop/maybe even CAA. (for good or for ill, as a former lawyer, i see him shoving all of those residencies in and can't help but think that's a way to meet a contractual obligation for a set number of tour dates that goes with his album obligations, since he doesn't seem to be planning on touring harry's house separately, and he's certainly distanced himself from the azoff set of celebrities he used to be more tied to, like kendall). and as for louis, i'm sure whatever plans he had made are inextricably affected by h's plans, especially if we're looking at something to do with bbg ending (idk....).

obviously there's a lot going on behind the scenes we don't know, but i just wanted to say i've picked up on a lot of the same vibes it seems you have, but i'm also just feeling like h's pr in particular is just... flailing, rather than part of a planned/coordinated push in line with h's long-term goals.

dude, you say that I articulate things well? the way you explained this was so perfect.

basically, i agree with most of what you're saying here and have had similar thoughts as well. like ive begun suspecting over the last 6 months that olivia is more central to whatever has been going down in the last year with both HL.

and i DO think harry is at the end of his rope with a lot of stuff. and i do think louis has made a lot of adjustments based on various factors.

ive entertained so many different ideas and possibilities that could explain the uniqueness of the past year even including blackmail. never landing on one because obviously i don't know shit. for me, the biggest confusion comes from them seeming to play along harder than usual while still looking miserable.

like i know olivia is a nightmare, but if harry really WANTED to sell it, he could do better. louis still looks far more happy with a stranger's child than his supposed son, he could be more convincing. YET they are still playing along far more and relentlessly than ever before imo.

about your question of why i think part of it is coming from HL, i should probably clarify. i don't think hl are sitting there like "this would be a great idea" but i do think that certain things can be avoided and i had hoped we would be past things like shitting on larries in a fans DMs or blocking your biggest UA. i would think that there would be a way to push the babygate narrative without flying a child out to a foreign country to spend the day with strangers. i feel like, despite the ways they are still constrained by narrative, i would hope that they would have the ability to the use the less harmful way of pushing it.

they very well might have a big grand plan they are working towards completing. nothing would make me happier. but the way things are constantly shifting and never in a specific and consistent direction, more and more it just feels like they are chickens running around with their heads cut off.

louis wants to be successful, harry doesn't want to lose the opportunities he has gained. i don't blame them for that, but we get caught in the crossfire. but not only us. THEY get caught in the crossfire because they don't seem all that happy and content to me. they seem tired of playing the game but utterly unwilling to stop because they are terrified of what will happen if they do. more than self-protection for me, it's like i want to protect myself from having to watch them run themselves into the ground with work and lies that can't be undone all leading up to some kind of horrific george-michael-esque outing scandal that i know will just break my heart because they deserve so much more. because the industry will turn on them one day no matter how well they play by its rules.

[laddieseddiemunster]

The Lost Boys x Insecure S/O

Just a reminder that you’re beautiful :)

Sorry for not posting for like a week! Ive been really busy :/

David

saying david is intimidating is an understatement. when the two of you locked eyes at the boardwalk he knew you were the one. he felt it in his non-beating heart that you were his mate. when he came up to you and attempted to win you over let’s just say it was a bit overwhelming. the leader of the feared biker gang on the boardwalk was talking to you. and not only talking, but even trying to give you a ride home. david noticed right away that you were a bit shy, but most girls are when they first meet him. david didn’t have to read your mind to know that you were a bit self conscious. the way your clothes practically covered your whole body along with your nervousness made him figure it out. no matter how hard you tried to hide it. he thought you were gorgeous but he could tell that you didn’t feel the same way about yourself.

when you two started dating the insecurities started to show more. you hated the way other girls would flirt with david even if he gave them no attention at all. they just looked so beautiful and confident. you couldn’t help but feel like he was out of your league. david was attractive and dangerous, while you were shy and innocent. david knew you didn’t like when other woman would flirt with him, but there wasn’t much he could do. usually he’d let the girls flirt with him and then he’d lead them to the cave and eat them, but he was in a relationship now and he cared deeply about it. all he could do is just ignore them, and kindly show them that he’s taken. he’ll wrap his arm around you to pull you closer, and maybe even give you a kiss on your hand or cheek. if he’s really not in the mood to deal with other woman then he’ll give you a kiss on the neck.

when you drop the news that you’re a bit self conscious it didn’t surprise him. it was just a matter of time before you confirmed his theory. his reaction was pretty normal. he just nodded and treated you the same way he always did. david can sometimes be a little insecure himself. he hasn’t been able to see his reflection in decades, so he can’t tell if he’s good looking or not. unlike paul who doesn’t give a shit if he looks bad, david would actually prefer to know what he looks like. it’s hard for him to remember what exactly he used to look like before he turned. he won’t ever admit or tell you that he’s a little self conscious though. david isn’t one to give a lot of compliments, but he starts to give more when he finds out about your lack of self esteem. he loves it when you give him complements yet he won’t act like it. he’ll just nod and give a quick “thank you”, but in the inside he took that compliment to heart.

Dwayne

since dwayne is pretty quiet he knew he’d have to step out of his comfort zone in order to win you over. he could tell by the way you dressed and acted that you were a little on the less confident side. you didn’t walk like you were confident you walked as if you were hiding behind people. dwayne decided to make the first move when you walked into max’s video store. he gave you some recommendations and offered to get you something to eat. you blushed and gave him a quick nod and that’s where it all started. dwayne found your shyness adorable and it made him feel terrible that you thought so down upon yourself. he hates seeing you get all sad when another girl makes passes at him. he doesn’t want them. he wants you. only you. every time that happens he wraps his arms around you to show them that he has no interest in them, but the look in your eyes when it happens breaks his heart.

when you two are alone he’ll shower you with affection. he wants you to know that he thinks you’re beautiful, and no one else’s opinion matters. he’ll cuddle you and let you vent about anything you’d like and he’ll listen to everything you’re saying. dwayne won’t pressure you into changing your style. if you feel comfortable wearing clothes that cover you then he doesn’t mind. he wishes you loved your body, but he never wants to make you feel uncomfortable. dwayne will get rid of every magazine that has woman modeling in it, so you don’t compare yourself to them. (except paul’s playboys because he can’t get rid of those). he wants you to feel confident in your own skin and magazines aren’t going to help. he’s not a huge fan of pda, but if it makes you more comfortable than he’ll pull you close to let you know that he loves you.

dwayne insecurities rarely show, but they’re there. like david, dwayne wishes he could still have his reflection when he looks into a mirror. it’s a little depressing when he looks into a mirror and nothing looks back. he’s learned to stay away from mirrors as much as possible. so if neither of you like mirrors he’ll get rid of any that are in sight. dwayne is quiet but not because he’s insecure, he’s just a quiet person. he prefers to let the other boys do the talking. the only problem is sometimes he’s a little overlooked. girls sometimes don’t talk to him since he’s quiet, and they’ll talk to marko or paul instead. it rarely gets on his nerves, but sometimes he wishes paul wouldn’t steal all the woman. dwayne most likely won’t tell you about his insecurities. mainly because he likes to keep it to himself. he doesn’t want you to worry about him when you’re already down about yourself.

Paul

when paul sees something he wants, he’s going to get it. there’s no question about it. and the thing he wanted was you, and he wasn’t going to stop until he had you. paul approached you and started throwing out the list of pickup lines he always uses (clearly a majority of them are dirty) and he’d always chuckle at your reactions. the other guys didn’t understand why you accepted when he asked to take for a ride, but you did. that was the start of your relationship with paul. instead of killing you he thought you were adorable and decided to keep you. paul didn’t catch on to your low self esteem until you told him. when you did he was shocked. he doesn’t understand why you don��t find yourself beautiful while he finds you absolutely drop dead gorgeous. paul eventually put the pieces together and realized that it made sense. you wore clothes that covered your whole body, you were really shy, and you couldn’t stand going into clothing stores. now it all makes sense.

it hurts paul in the inside whenever he sees you look at the other girls on the boardwalk and frown. in his eyes you’re way more beautiful than the girls you wished you were. he just wished you could see what he sees. paul’s always gonna tell you that you’re beautiful no matter how many times you tell him to stop. the only time paul ever tried to change your wardrobe was the time he realized how insecure you actually were. you refused to me wear anything revealing claiming it’d make you uncomfortable. paul got a little disappointed, but for once he didn’t argue. he just nodded his head and didn’t ask again. he wished you changed your wardrobe so he could show everyone how beautiful you were, and that you were his and only his. if anyone pokes fun at you he won’t beat them up, but you just chose his dinner. and he will make them pay. (basically by torturing them to death and then he’ll eat them).

paul isn’t really insecure about his looks. he knows there is no point in worrying about how he looks when he can’t even see his reflection. as long as you find him attractive then he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks. the only opinion that matters to him is yours everybody else can screw off. the only thing he’s a little self conscious about is his personality. sometimes he wonders if he talks too much, or if he’s just not fun to be around. he worry’s that you dont love him as much as he loves you. he’s pretty emotional sometimes and starts to overthink. he’s been broken hearted before, so he has a hard time with commitment. he also worries that he might not be good enough for you. even if you don’t think you’re beautiful he thinks you’re an angel, and he’s just a immature vampire that doesn’t deserve you. of course that’s not true, but sometimes paul needs some reassurance.

Marko

when marko spotted you on the boardwalk he knew you weren’t going to be a meal. he spotted you when he was out getting chinese food for the guys. you were by yourself sitting at one of the tables while he was in line, but you weren’t eating. instead of getting his food and leaving, he got the food and decided to sit himself right in front of you. who care if the other guys get hungry? not him. your cheeks turned red when you noticed he sat right in front of you. he introduced himself and asked what a pretty girl like you was doing alone in a chinese place. your cheeks flushed again from the complement and it didn’t go unnoticed. marko being marko pointed it out just to make you more nervous. when he finally got your name he offered to give you a ride home, and he was over the moon. on the inside. you were his mate and he knew it. marko didn’t realize how self conscious you were. he just thought you were shy.

your insecurities started to show quick. marko noticed a red flag when you refused to eat in a public place with him, or with him at all really. and he thought his eating style was weird. marko doesn’t care if you eat unhealthy, or if you’re vegan. the fact that you didn’t want to eat around him at all was concerning him. he couldn’t stop thinking about it, and eventually he asked you. you explained to marko that it wasn’t him, it was the fact that you were uncomfortable eating around other people. especially people you knew. marko understood right away that it was an insecurity. it also made sense since all you wore were clothes that’d cover your whole body. marko told you that he doesn’t think you’re overweight or underweight, he thinks you’re beautiful just the way you are. he knew that just saying that might not get you to open up right away, but he was willing to wait.

marko loves the way you look even if you hate it. he likes to talk to you about your insecurities, and he’ll just sit and listen. he doesn’t like to talk about his insecurities especially since there is no way to hide his. marko wishes he was a little bit taller and not known as “the little one”. he’s gotten used to the teasing from the other guys, but that doesn’t mean it’s going unnoticed. being the shortest in the gang isn’t easy for marko. knowing that some girls that are taller than him won’t always go for him bums him out. if you’re shorter than him then he’s getting rid of any shoes that have heels, so you can’t look taller. you basically have to reassure each other that you’re both perfect just the way you are. marko doesn’t get too many compliments, so if you give him one he’s taking it to heart. if anyone makes fun of you on the boardwalk they’re getting beat up. marko will have his fists ready. unless its a girl. then he’ll just kill her later.

[kk095]

Anything But Routine

*here's my latest story! There may be some typos here and there, but I hope you guys like it!*

Every year, thousands of Americans have cholecystectomies performed on them in order to treat symptomatic gallstones, gallbladder infections, and other associated conditions. The surgery is performed laparoscopically- a minimally invasive procedure where a few small incisions are made in the abdomen so cameras and other pieces of equipment can be used to perform surgery without having to open the patient’s entire abdomen. This form of gallbladder removal reduces the patient’s risk of infection and speeds up recovery time, with some patients even being released from the hospital the same day of the surgery.

Laparoscopic cholecystectomies are proven to be quite successful and are relatively easy procedures for most general surgeons, but they of course present potential complications. Infections, surgical error, abscesses within the abdomen, blood clots, and adverse anesthesia reactions have all been documented as potential complications. Cholecystectomy complications very rarely result in death, with mortality rates as low as 0.15%. Despite these low mortality rates, deaths still occur- one of which occurred at our hospital recently.

The patient was Bailey Moore- a previously healthy 23 year old who was of average height and slim build, and a fair-skinned, natural readhead with greenish eyes. Bailey had complained of upper right quadrant cramping, nausea, and a dull pain in the upper right quadrant after meals. Her symptoms persisted over the coming days, so she sought treatment at our ER. The emergency department performed an abdominal ultrasound and discovered a 2.1cm gallstone, along with several smaller gallstones around 0.4cm in size. With a diagnosis rendered by emergency physicians, Bailey was referred to our surgical department for further consultation and treatment.

The surgical team confirmed the ER's diagnosis of gallstones, and felt that a laparoscopic cholecystectomy was the best course of treatment. In preparation for the surgery, a few blood tests were ordered (CBC, BMP, Tox screen), an abdominal CT scan was performed, and she was given pain medications to temporarily alleviate her symptoms.

The following morning, Bailey was prepped for surgery and sent up to the OR. After being anesthetized, the surgical team intubated the young redhead with a 7.0 ET tube, securing the tube with a blue tube holder, and attaching the tube to a ventilator. The surgery began with 4 small incisions being made in her abdomen- 1 by the belly button, 1 in the right lower flank, 1 in the epigastric area, and 1 in the upper right quadrant above the gallbladder's actual position. The cut by the belly button and the incision in the epigastric area are camera insertion sites, while the incision in the right flank is for drainage (blood, pus, bile, etc). Lastly, the incision in the RUQ above the gallbladder is intended for the equipment used to remove it. After the incisions were made, the equipment and cameras were inserted into their correct locations. Once everything was in place, the procedure continued.

First, the gallbladder was located after the cameras were adjusted slightly. With the gallbladder located, the next step is to clip the celiac artery. The reason for this is to limit blood loss upon removal of the gallbladder. Since the gallbladder doesn’t have 1 major vein responsible for drainage, this is the only vessel clipped during the procedure. Following the celiac artery being clipped, the cystic duct was located and subsequently clipped. The reason for this is to prevent bile leakage into the abdomen upon removal of the gallbladder. Bile leakage into the abdominal cavity can cause complications such as infections (particularly peritonitis), or abscesses within the URQ. After the celiac artery and cystic duct were clipped, the next step was to ligate both structures. The ligature took several minutes each to ensure that there wasn’t blood or bile leakage. Following that step, a bag was placed over the gallbladder through the tool in the incision site in her URQ. Once the bag was placed over the gallbladder, the device pulled slightly on the small, green organ, removing it successfully.

After the gallbladder was removed, the surgical team kept the cameras in place for a moment to check for any signs of bleeding or bile leakage. Once the OR team realized there weren’t any overt issues, they removed all their equipment and closed the 4 small incision sites with derma bond, and sent Bailey up to a recovery room. Over the following few hours, Bailey regained consciousness and was extubated. Following a few post operative tests, Bailey was released from our hospital and told to refrain from strenuous activity for the following few weeks so the incision sites heal properly. At the time, it appeared the surgery was a success and Bailey was well on her way to recovery.

Approximately 2 weeks Post-OP, Bailey woke up that morning feeling a bit off. She had a dry, unproductive cough, felt short of breath, and also a bit fatigued. Her symptoms were tolerable at the time, so she decided to carry on with her day. But as the day went on, her symptoms grew increasingly worse, and she eventually fainted, prompting a 911 call from one of her friends.

On scene, EMS reported that Bailey had regained consciousness, but was having difficulty breathing. She was breathing heavily, practically gasping for air while the medics gave her an oxygen mask. Even with the oxygen mask, Bailey could barely say more than a few words at a time. Her eyes became teary at that point, because of the pain and discomfort. “I’m gonna be ok. They’re gonna get to the bottom of this.” She thought, trying to reassure herself, completely unaware that she’d be toe tagged and under a sheet just a little while later. The medics continued their assessment and asked her a few basic questions pertaining to her symptoms: “do you have a history of asthma?” “did you take any drugs?” “did you swallow anything that may have gotten stuck?” “did you have any recent surgeries?” Bailey shook her head “no" to the first 3 questions, then nodded “yes” to the final question. Bailey couldn’t get the words out herself, so she pointed to her belly and showed the medics her gallbladder surgery scars.

The medics next course of action was to set up a portable heart monitor and 5 lead EKG. The heart monitor showed sinus tachycardia with a heart rate of 132bpm, hypotension with a BP of 70/38, and an o2 saturation down to 94% even though she was wearing a mask. The 5 lead EKG showed t wave inversion in leads 1 through 4 with incomplete right bundle branch block. EMS realized the severity of the situation and immediately prepped her for transport and notified our emergency department that they were en route.

During transport, the medics were able to obtain IV access and begin fluid resuscitation. Even though fluid resuscitation commenced, Bailey’s condition continued to remain serious. She clenched her chest in pain, feeling as if there were a thousand tiny glass shards inside her lungs during every breath. At that point, every breath was a major undertaking for her. The medics decided to push pain meds to help the young woman feel more comfortable, but it only did so much for her. She continued breathing heavily, almost gasping for air. Eventually, Bailey started coughing. It was the same dry, unproductive hacking that she experienced on and off throughout the day. But moments later, she began coughing up blood. The blood stained the inside of the o2 mask she was given, and there were a few blood droplets on her face. “Oh my god…” she muttered weakly, with a terrified look on her face. For the remainder of the ambulance ride, her vital signs remained unstable, and she continued to cough up blood.

Upon arrival at the ER, Bailey was still experiencing hemoptysis with the same symptoms described earlier. The ER team immediately took the young woman into an open trauma room and began running tests. They first ordered blood tests: a CBC, a BMP, a toxicology screen, and a d-dimer. A chest x-ray was ordered, but showed non-specific abnormalities within the thorax. An echocardiogram was ordered, showing right ventricular dilation, as well as a right ventricular thrombus. A thrombus in the right ventricle is an uncommon, and often fatal finding that’s indicative of a massive blood clot that’s in transit to the lungs from elsewhere in the body. With this serious finding in mind, the ER team promptly started the 23 year old on anticoagulants in an attempt to break up what was likely a massive pulmonary embolism. However, these meds take a little while to work. Since time didn’t appear to be on Bailey’s side, the ER team decided to get in touch with interventional radiology and pulmonology in order to perform catheter directed thrombolysis (CTE).

CTE is a non-surgical procedure where an IV line is set up into a vein in your groin area and a catheter is then inserted. This catheter is then navigated into the location of a blood clot with x-ray guidance, and the blood clots are either dissolved or physically removed by the catheter.

However, Bailey’s condition worsened just as she was about to be sent over to interventional radiology. She coughed up copious amounts of blood over the span of a few seconds, and then became unconscious. A nurse did a sternal rub, saying “Bailey? Stay with us hun", to which she received no response. At that point, Bailey’s eyes were wide open, staring lifelessly above. The ER team knew Bailey was about to code, so a crash cart was wheeled into the trauma room, while the attending ordered her to be intubated. A 7.0 ET tube was navigated into Bailey’s airway over the following few seconds. A blue tube holder was used to secure the ET tube, and an ambu bag was attached.

While tube placement was being confirmed, the heart monitors showed that Bailey was in PEA, so ACLS protocol was initiated. Deep, violent chest compressions were started by one of the nurses. Bailey’s skinny chest caved in and her belly rippled in sync with the ongoing efforts. Epinephrine and atropine were pushed into her IV line in order to get a shockable rhythm. The first round of drugs and first handful of CPR cycles failed to convert the young redhead to a shockable rhythm, so a 2nd dose of epi and atropine were injected intravenously at the 3 minute mark of the code.

The drugs were able to produce a shockable rhythm after approximately 45 seconds, so the ER team stuck the orange defib pads onto Bailey’s bare chest and charged the paddles to 250. Everyone backed away over the next couple of seconds, and shock #1 was delivered. Bailey’s body jolted on the table for a moment before going limp again. The heart monitors showed v-fib, so a cycle of CPR was performed while the paddles were recharged to 300. When the paddles were charged, everyone stood clear while the paddles were pressed up against Bailey’s bare chest for shock #2. This 2nd shock caused bailey’s B cup breasts to jiggle around in response to the increased strength of the shock, but once again failed to achieve ROSC. V-fib still displayed on the monitors, so the paddles were recharged to 360 and Bailey was shocked for a third time. Bailey’s feet leapt an inch or so above the table before slamming back down, showing off the silky, prominent wrinkles throughout the soles of her size 8 feet. This 3rd shock sent Bailey back into PEA, so chest compressions were resumed.

The ER team kept up the fight to save their young patient. Bailey’s chest caved in from the deep, forceful compressions she continued to receive. One of her arms hung off the side of the table and bounced around in time with each individual compression. Bailey’s feet swung around ever so slightly on the opposite side of the table as her chest was being pumped repeatedly. While this was ongoing, her ET tube began to fill up with blood. The suction made a slurping sound while it removed the blood from the ET tube. But just as the blood was removed, it refilled. A second round of suction had to be applied in order to restore the young lady’s airway.

It took another 5 minutes to convert Bailey back to v-fib, with her total down time being just under 11 minutes. The paddles were charged to 360 joules and pressed up against her bare chest, and a shock was delivered. Bailey’s chest shot up, with her back arching. Her eyes were wide open, staring lifelessly above as her body plopped back down on the table after the shock. She remained in v-fib, so another 360j shock was delivered a short while later. Her torso twitched slightly during this quick dose of electricity, but she converted back to PEA.

Epi, atropine, and bicarb were all injected intravenously while the code raged on. Bailey’s ET tube kept refilling with blood, so multiple suction attempts were made in order to maintain the young patient’s airway. Aggressive CPR was also being performed, and was starting to take its toll on the young woman’s body. Her chest was starting to become bruised, and a few ribs had become broken since the start of the code. But all of that seemed minor in the grand scheme of things.

The meds and compressions failed to produce a shockable rhythm, so bailey was given yet another dose of meds at the 17 minute mark of the code, and again at the 20 minute mark. The medication and compressions produced v-fib, so the paddles were once again charged to 360 and pressed up against Bailey’s bare chest, and she was shocked yet again. Her dying body twitched on the table in response to the shock, but remained in v-fib. After a cycle of compressions, another shock was delivered. Bailey’s toes scrunched up, wrinkling the soles of her feet once again. The ER team was still unable to restart Bailey’s heart, so resuscitation efforts went on.

The ER team shocked Bailey 3 more times, pushed another round of drugs, discovered fixed and dilated pupils, and coded her for another 6 and a half minutes, but were ultimately unable to bring her back. Unfortunately, Bailey’s time of death was called at 13:56 while she was still in v-fib.

The ambu bag was detached from the ET tube and the monitors were switched off. The EKG electrodes and orange defib pads were pulled off of Bailey’s bare chest. Her eyes were then shut for the final time before a toe tag was placed and covered with a sheet.

Bailey’s autopsy revealed that she passed away from a massive pulmonary embolism. There were multiple large clots found within the arteries of her lungs, along with the floating thrombus in her right ventricle. Since Bailey didn’t have any other risk factors for blood clots, it was determined that her death had to be attributed to her gallbladder surgery just 2 weeks earlier. Blood clots occasionally occur with gallbladder surgery, but are usually manageable. Severe blood clots that cause death are rarely reported, but unfortunately this appears to be one such case.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3, episodes 1-2 thoughts! I had to split up my season 3 watch awkwardly because the second part of it was too picture heavy and tumblr only wants you to have 10 pictures per post, per the No Fun Allowed Rule. :/ I was planning on just doing 1-6 then 7-13, but, it'll probably be split into 3 posts now... (along with a follow up thoughts post after I finish and think on it for a lil while...)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-vlad got a new mansion. and the guys in white IMMEDIATELY BREAKS IN AND STARTS SMASHING THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING, DESTROYING HIS NEW MANSION KAJDFHSSKADJKJN. NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE. 'the greatest practical joke ever' TUCKER YOU ARE SOOO RIGHT.

-'DAnnY FenTon MadE mE ThE LaugHINg StOCk oF WisCONsIn' if you dont shut up. you made yourself a laughing stock. love the cute pink hotel room. also, Vlad's Naked on The News. VLAD BUYING THE NASTY BURGER TO TEAR IT DOWN. the way they keep escalating these..pranks? IS TEARING DOWN A BUISSNESS A PRANK?? (the metric by which I decide if its a prank is if its funny to me or not. vlads house being torn down? funny prank. local burger place being torn down? maybe not. MAYBE the naked on the news prank was pushing it because he WAS in a hotel just, minding his own business, but like, he stays bothering danny for no reason when danny is just minding his own business, too! its not right but there IS a sense of vindication here. yknow?

-...'at least now he's channeling his sociopathic lonely bachelor energy into something positive!' this is unironically an insult to actual sociopathic people. 'but he doesnt care about other people!' 'and thats why he'll make a great politician!' BRUTAL. but not untrue? I mean, this is not at ALL surprising. hes a billionaire via cheating and lying, and already a huge Slimeball. So yeah, politician is 100% right.

-but did vlad move to amity park? I might be wrong about this, or illinois laws might be different, but I kinda assumed if you're running for election for mayor in a town, that you had to live within the voting jurisdiction and be registered to vote there. I mean, he's temporarily in a hotel and technically displaced rn (...I thought for sure he'd have more vacation homes...) so I guess there's probably a grace period to find a permanent home in amity park?

-ME, CHEERING DANNY ON EVERY SINGLE TIME HE BEATS VLAD UP, BEING SO PROUD OF MY SON:

-'hes overshadowing the voters!' why...are you surprised, danny???? election fraud is Nothing. did you forget he stole BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

-ok the school uniforms are kinda cute tho lol.

-NO TEENAGERS ALLOWED IN THE NEW RESTURAUNT?? WHAT KIND OF BUISSNESS IS THAT,, SO PETTY. tucker straight up tearing off the security camera. king of property destruction

-vlad trying to make life hell. For a 14 year old. who is trying to genuinely apologize and offer a truce (despite all the creepy and fucked up things vlad has done to him and his family). what the fuck can I even say about this. I think i've said several times while watching 'what the fuck is wrong with you', i need a stronger statement.

-Teens Against McMasters! Fries Not Lies! I want to see vlad get mauled by teens. I want them to start Throwing Rocks.

-vlad saying 'dudes' is the worst thing I've ever heard.

-danny overshadowing the clone was GENIUS AND MAKING HIMSELF LOOK INJURED. SO PROUD OF YOUUUU. USE HIS OWN TACTICS AGAINST HIM. GET HIS ASS.

-frostbite's design is really interesting. ghost...bones... incased in ice?? anyway im so glad danny is getting more hugs :)

-oh, they basically worship(?) or put danny on a pedestal because he defeated pariah?? well IM happy for him having more ghosts that are friendly to him :) also, sam and tucker's lil snow jackets...super cute.

-more ghost lore!!! THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE IS A GHOST PORTAL. OF COURSE.

-VLAD ACTUALLY DID GET A CAT AWWW KITTY I WUV U KITTY. who he plays chess with...okay, you know what, thats so valid. and actually, pets are usually actually good for mental health, you have a lil guy to care for and they can give u a reason to try ur best so u can provide for them, and they are always good for comfort...good job, vlad!! next go to therapy. 'if anyone asks, you're my sister's cat!' so does he actually HAVE a sister? can she come beat him up

-sam is Right. they shouldve immediately taken the map back to frostbite! but I get it, exploring Can Be Fun

-'carnivorous canyon' in the ghost zone is just mystery flesh pit

-vlad is going to burn a 14 year old girl at the stake. you know, I half expected clockwork to come up and stop this, because they're fucking with time, BUT. nope. this is nbd, I guess.

-well, blood blossoms are terrifying. I know 'ive never eaten a vegetable in my life!' was tucker being hyperbolic, but this kid is going to get so many digestive problems if he doesnt Start Eating Healthier.

-...vlad wanted to go to rome and be a god?? I want to know where he self-inserted himself in their already established pantheon. what did he say he was the god of??

-VLAD SET THE ENTIRETY OF ROME ON FIRE. SO THEY PROBABLY ASSUME GOD OF DESTRUCTION. GOD OF ASSHOLERY.

-how embarrassing, to swordfight a 14 year old and struggle to win. lmfao they keep running vlad off every place he tries to take over

-'if i can destroy the first airplane, man will never fly and I will rule the air!' VLAD. DO YOU THINK. DO YOU THINK THE WRIGHT BROTHERS WERE THE ONLY PEOPLE TO THINK OF AND CONCEPTULIZE FLIGHT???! oh my god he is so dumb. people have always been trying to fly even before that, and even if you destroyed (1) plane its not like no one else could make one??? as if people hadn't already been making hot air balloons since the 1700s??? or coming up with concepts, and studying on how to make them work? starting to think vlad shouldve paid attention in college and not been so fixated on maddie. or, I dunno, read a book in his huge library...(I mean, I dunno what he majored in or studied in college, but it obviously wasnt history...)

-vlad getting his ass kicked by snow dogs and getting shidded on by a pigeon :)

-'hes got more in common with us than he realizes!' DANNY IS A YETI??? CONFIRMED (no,, but I hope that means we'll see more of the far frozen! I like them :)

-what in the world was this episode tho. like..okay?? vlads plans did not make ANY sense to me, like, was I missing something , or. WHY is he so fixated on Ruling all of the sudden...sure he might be power-hungry, feeling powerless can do that and I'm sure the accident/being abandoned made him feel that way, but its always felt like his real end goal was just to steal jack's family out of jealousy and spite, not to like. um,, rule rome I guess. ?? theres No Maddie In Rome, Vlad.

[samwritesforyou]

We’re gonna be okay

Diego x reader

Summary: You and Diego worked out a system for a situation if he ever comes to your place while being in the highest form of distress and needs your help. He assured you it won’t happen often. Until one night, it finally did.

A/N: i feel like i’ve read the whole tumblr dot com worth of diego x reader fanfics and yet i still wanted more, so the desperate need to finally write something myself has been fulfilled. i would actually love to take requests, so if you want, dont hesitate to message/ask me! im ready to write fics and headcanons :) (my blog might seem new but ive been on tumblr for years and years and i finally dedicated a new blog to mostly reader inserts, either my own or reblogging others)

Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack, gender neutral reader

Wordcount: 3,350

There was a knock on the door.

It was pretty late, but not too late for it to be Diego yet.

Or so you thought.

You got up kinda lazily from a comfortable chair you had situated in the corner of a room, at first designed mainly for reading or napping, but ending up doing absolutely whatever you could on the spot. Eating pizza, watching netflix, browsing through the internet after long working hours that you put in into your tiny art selling business.

You slightly opened the door and already plastered a semi-fake smile for a possible neighbor, but in front of you stood Diego.

Your dear friend, who was at the moment soaked from the rain outside, with big eyes, fast breathing and bloody hands.

Bloody hands?!

“Hello to you too, friend!” you said quite worried, quickly patting him down for signs of any physical pain. For the first time in a while he seemed fine, unscarred.

Your eyes finally went up, literally scanning his face but it was completely unreadable.

His eyes were wide and he looked as if he couldn’t comprehend what was going on around him.

You looked down again and took his fists into your hands. His own palms unclenched and you could see that they were heavily bloodied.

“Diego.. whose blood is it?”

No answer.

You rushed him inside and closed the door behind the two of you, facing the damn vigilante again.

“Diego, I need to know who’s blood is on your hands,” your voice grew steadier as you knitted your brows together in worry and confusion.

Only then the guy decided to move his arms and you noticed how shaky he is. He connected his two index fingers in the form of a cross, pressing it to his chest.

Your own eyes went wide now as you stumbled back a few steps and your mind went blank.

.

.

.

You instantly remembered a night that happened a few years back. He has come in crumbling through your window and was obviously in some new form of distress, that you couldn’t quite understand yet.

“Diego?” it seemed like your voice didn’t reach his ears, so you tried calling out his name again, getting up from the couch and patting him lightly on the body, to determine any sign of an injury.

It looked like there was none, so you tried to reach his gaze that was somewhat absentminded, all over the place, scanning everything but not meeting your eyes.

He was a tough guy, and you knew it. You knew that if you want to get answers, you need to either get them yourself or make yourself heard, until he cannot ignore you any longer.

“Diego Hargreeves, what is going on?” your voice was soft yet determined.

His dark orbs finally stopped on your face and he just shook his head, his breathing oddly fast for a man who was just simply standing.

You continued to push. You didn’t have the best day either, and to be interrupted at 1am by his visit was nothing new, but you couldn’t let him have this behaviour. Even though you’re friends, that didn’t automatically mean that he could do whatever he wanted.

Throughout the whole night he didn’t say a thing, but when you started adding volume to your voice, he.. he just broke down.

That night, you’ve witnessed Diego experience a panic attack. Caused by yourself.

You couldn’t fall asleep that night, even after you eventually calmed him down and the only thing that was left to do for you was to watch him sleep and slowly rubbing circles on his exposed arm out of the blanket.

It felt like neons before you noticed a first ray of sunshine drawing from the half-closed curtains, making you spring to your feet and drag your ass to the kitchen, trying to think of what to do for breakfast.

When you figured the recipe out and finished cooking, Diego was already up and joined you near the kitchen counter, next to which you had two stools.

He settled on one of them, looking at you.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” you couldn’t muster anything better, so you just put a plate in front of him and then sat next to his side, simply digging into your portion of scrambled eggs.

“About last night, y/n..” he drifted off, probably at first deciding that it’s better to fill his stomach a little bit.

In the meantime you didn’t dare to speak up and just waited for him to say something, anything.

When he finished his meal, he finally turned to you with a sigh.

“You know that one guy I told you ‘bout? That we.. we do some vigilante shit together from time to time?”

You just nodded, not meeting his eyes.

“Well. I guess I could count him as a close friend. You know.. and,” this was followed by a slight pause and clearing of the throat.

“He died yesterday. I couldn’t save him.”

Your eyes immediately shot up to Diego and all that vulnerability and hurt that you’ve clearly seen yesterday just overtaking him were completely gone. Now present only a strong facade that he mastered whenever he needed to hide from showing emotions. You hated it.

“Shit, Diego..” you spoke quietly and softly, all the words seemed to have left you in all the things unsaid in your throat. But you tried to continue.

“I’m sorry. And I’m also sorry for pushing you over the edge. I.. I didn’t know what happened so I just acted how we would normally do,” he smirked at that, merely for a second, but you still caught it.

“Look, I.. I know, “ he simply said and then it felt as if he was weighting pros and cons of telling you something else that was clearly on his chest.

“You always help me out. Every single night I come to you.. Why do you do it, y/n?” Diego’s eyes were steadily turned your way.

At the sudden question you raised an eyebrow, “well, I.. I care about you.”

He lightly bit his lower lip and turned his gaze away, clearly thinking about something really hard.

“Okay,” he finally said, “y/n, do you think I could ask you for a favour then?”

At that your eyes met and you felt nervous, for some reason.

You really liked him. Not just like a friend. But you understood that there probably won’t be a chance for you two to ever become a couple (mostly considering that you didn’t believe that he could feel about you this way), so you settled for friendship anyways, since you two really got along well.

And having this handsome tough guy as a friend? Damn, just that is already some kind of luck swinging your way.

But your feelings of course meant that.. you’d do more for him than what you’d do just for a friend. You would get out of your comfort zone just to help him with injuries or hear him talk about his girlfriend (at the time, now they were broken up) and how they argued so much that he ended up on the streets and didn’t really want to go to his lonely place at the gym.

And you took him in. You always did. And since the day you became friends you always care for him.

And you’d care now once again.

“What is it?” in your tone danced a question, troubled with what he might ask for.

“Well, yesterday-“ he cut himself from finishing and cleared his throat, starting over.

“I imagine we’re gonna be friends for a long time, right?”

You just pushed your brows up with a small nod in affirmation.

“I never had.. anyone, really, to help me with the states I often got into,” you immediately thought of Eudora, wasn’t his ex-girlfriend supposed to be his support pillar? Or is he just making you feel sorry for him-

“Or I didn’t ever trust anyone that much, you know,” oh, okay, that kind of explains that then.

“And I guess.. I trust you enough? To share this?” he talked quietly and mumbled a lot so you realised soon you won’t be able to hear him at all.

You grabbed his hands with yours and caught his attention this way.

You were never really touchy together, but occasional hugs and even holding hands was kind of a standard for you from time to time.

His eyes met yours again and you cursed yourself for your heartbeat getting faster. This is not an appropriate moment to get butterflies in your stomach, dammit.

“I’m listening, Diego,” you confirmed, nodding again.

“Okay. It’s- it’s just really h-hard to talk about this,” he stuttered a bit, but with the next breath continued again, “When there’s some situation that’s just completely fucked up, like losing someone close to me, or- or somethin’ else, I don’t know.. I finish what I need at the scene where it happened but when I come home I just,” he breathed some air in and you felt his hands squeeze yours a bit tighter, “I just break down, you know? Sometimes it’s just all too much for me and I don’t know how to deal with it and I would just wanna.. someone to hold me, I guess? Otherwise when someone’s trying to talk at me or somethin’ I just get even more worked up and it’s even worse.”

It all started to come together in your mind. Even though it sounded really strange to hear Diego talk about things like.. wanting to be held and shit. But you always guessed there’s a far bigger sweetheart and a soft boy underneath all those harness and knives.

You tried to pick your words carefully.

“So when I started to ask you shit.. You just flipped. Basically because I was talking at you a lot and you couldn’t take it anymore, right?”

He sighed and looked somewhere up, nodding bit by bit.

“Yeah, yep. That was it.”

You clapped at his hands lightly, to bring his focus back again and he looked at you and mustered a sad, faint smile.

You did the same. In the world you lived in, unforeseen and unfortunate events were happening left and right and thinking about his childhood and everything.. no wonders he developed such a huge reaction and coping mechanism to something catastrophic happening.

“That’s okay, Diego. I’m here for you, I mean it. Let’s just talk about some things what I should and shouldn’t do when you come here in that state, alright? I just want you to feel comfortable.”

“Alright. Thank you, y/n,” he was looking down now, the whole morning kinda failing to meet your gaze and just rubbed his thumb across your hand, which send you heart into a race again.

You slowly let go of him, making an excuse to go wash the dishes.

After a while you looked behind you where he sat and said, “We also need some sort of a sign that you can easily show me, since you’re not really talkative when you get like this.”

Apparently he already used said “sign” somewhere, because he had it on the ready.

It was his hands clutching in fists, index fingers crossing each other in a form of a cross, pressed to his chest.

“Something like this. But don’t worry, I don’t think it’ll happen often. That would be really sad,” he laughed a little and then looked at you somewhat longingly and you averted your eyes back to the sink, nodding.

.

.

You almost forgot about that and now it all come flooding back.

Something terrible must’ve happened. You were panicking, but you had to stay strong, for him.

He was still standing in your hallway, with a crossed index fingers pressed to his chest.

“Okay, okay..” you mumbled more to yourself than to him, taking his hands into yours and looking him up and down.

He really seemed.. disconnected. It was kind of scary and you tried so hard not to think about what happened. Or about who died.

“Here, come with me, Diego,” you led him by the hand towards your couch as he was holding onto you, but his usual grip was gone.

You both ended up on a sofa and you really didn’t know how to act around him now, because.. he didn’t talk, didn’t look at you but when he did, his eyes were wide and big and he just seemed suddenly like a small boy to you.

Hopefully he won’t remember this tomorrow, you thought and tried to smile a little bit at him.

“Okay. Can you get your hands up for me, baby boy?” You’ve decided to approach this situation as if you were just babysitting an overgrown child.

Because nothing bad happens to children normally, right? And if you kept thinking about him as usual grown man Diego, you’d lose your mind in the process, wanting to scream and shake him by the shoulders until he spills you what happened.

Being Diego’s friend pushed you to new limits each day, truly.

He didn’t bat an eyelid at your tone change and word choosing, just obliging and putting his hands up.

You helped him to get his knives down and put his black turtleneck over his head, so now he sat shirtless right next to you, hands still smeared with blood.

Goddamit the blood!

You took him by the elbows and lead Diego to the bathroom, where you helped to get the red out of his hands. At the sight of blood dripping down into the sink you deciphered a whimper from him, even through the sound of running water and looked up.

Diego couldn’t stop looking down at his hands and tears were running down his cheeks.

You quickly took his face into your wet hands from the water and forced him to look away and lock his gaze with yours.

“Hey, don’t look at it, okay? It’ll only make you stressed. Until I’m done you can just close you eyes, okay?”

“Oh-okay,” he said and just closed his eyes here and there.

You sighed and tried to finish washing his hands as fast as possible, cursing under your breath pretty often.

“I’m sorry..” you heard him mumble and when you looked up, his eyes were still shut.

“Nothin’ to be sorry about.. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, right? Don’t worry. You’re safe now,” you smiled as you were already wrapping his hands in a towel and his eyelashes fluttered, eyes opening.

You stayed looking at each other for a second longer than necessary, but then you already lead him away to the bedroom area, where you actually tucked him in, wrapping in a soft blanket and then rushed to the kitchen, grabbing a few cookies and then leaving it on a plate next to him on the night table. 

 You almost made yourself comfortable on the couch, when he suddenly called out your name from the bed.

You sprung to your feet, thinking he’s actually hurt but you didn’t notice or that- “Can you... stay with me? P-please?” he asked, disrupting your train of thought. You did expect this, but still felt really shy about that.

Diego is vulnerable right now and does need your help and presence though.

And there wouldn’t be anything you wouldn’t do for him.

“Sure,” and after this simple answer you carefully climbed in next to him covering you both with a blanket and he curled up closer to you, almost immediately falling asleep.

From one point of view it felt like you wouldn’t sleep at all tonight, but from the other one.. you actually fell asleep just as fast as he did.

.

.

To nobody’s surprise you woke up first and actually flinched at the sight of sleeping Diego inches from your own face.

Your mind went running with ideas what happened and what’s going on until you realised the real deal and your brain caught up to yesterday’s shenanigans.

It was a wild ride and you were thankful that now it’s - most probably - over.

Your eyes were subconsciously scanning his face, until you realised what you’re doing, but you didn’t stop even then.

You’ve never been this close to his face yet and now you could admire and explore every part of it.

Having feelings for a friend that’s laying in the same bed with you at the moment is really not the healthiest thing that could’ve happened to you, huh..

You actually froze and your heart started racing billion times faster when you realised that you have a weight of his arm around your waist, pulling you closer from his sleep.

He grunted and his nose was now in your hair, shuffling a little to get more comfortable.

You had no idea how to change positions, especially when being held by such a strong arm as his and you got a feeling like Diego might actually wake up just about now, so the best solution that came into your mind was to forcefully close your eyes shut and pretend that you’re still sleeping.

He did, indeed, wake up. You were suddenly pushed to the other side of the bed, arm disappearing from your waist and a waterfall of curses fell from his lips quietly.

You used up all your acting stamina to make a believable scene of you gaining your conscious from the deep slumber that you were obviously in, stretched your arms for a good effect and finally opened your eyes.

You immediately signed up for a staring contest as soon as you looked at him and smiled a little. His face remained unreadable but perhaps a little bit flustered?.. But you may be reading too much into it.

“Hi,” you said with a higher tone than intended and Diego just nodded at that.

You tried your luck by addressing the elephant in the room right away, you never liked ignoring the problems that were always looming over you, “care to tell me what happened yesterday?”

He drew a big sigh and rested his head back on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling.

You couldn’t stop looking at him. At first because you really wanted to know the mystery, but the longer you looked at him, the more you realised that you’re just admiring the beauty that he holds, until his words fell like a dead weight right onto your shoulders.

“I found Eudora’s body yesterday. I couldn’t get to the place in time and someone killed her.”

What?

It felt like what he said was simply a trick of your imagination. You liked Eudora yourself, she was a very intelligent and an interesting person, you two often hung out and that feeling didn’t cease even after you found out that she and Diego started dating.

And��even when they broke up some months after, you still found your way to spend time with her. So did Diego.

You wanted to cry, but thought that it might be insensitive towards him, because he was much closer to her than you were, so you tried to swallow your forming tears down.

“I’m.. I’m so sorry, Diego..”

“It’s your loss too, I know it, y/n,” he looked at you with much softer look this time.

“Come here,” he said a little bit hesitantly and opened up one arm towards you.

This was unusual, but maybe last night’s events tore down some walls?.. Who knows.

You almost threw yourself into his embrace and once your forehead rested on his chest, you started crying.

From everything, honestly. There’s been problems at work, your seemingly unrequited feelings for Diego didn’t help much either and now you learned that you lost one of your friends.

He started rubbing circles on your back, just letting you get those emotions out, while you two were hugging each other on the bed in your apartment.

And as you slowly started to calm down, he said a gentle, “it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay”

[hello-there]

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[aros001]

Read through light novel vol. 15. Random thoughts.

Well, I just found one of my favorite volumes of this series. For all the right and wrong reasons.

There is a certain trope or term I've heard of for comedy. Where a joke or skit can be really funny but can also go a little too far with the performance to where it can be a little annoying. But there are also plenty of times where the joke/skit takes it even FURTHER than that and it circles back around to being funny again. Naofumi with Raph-chan is a little like that. His love for the little furball was cute and funny at first, then it became a little odd and maybe a little cringey, and now it's gone to such an extreme that it's circled back to funny again, with the Shield hero now commanding a legion of Raph-chans. Also, Naofumi and Ruft bonding over Raph-chan is genuinely really sweet. Between that, how much he clings to Naofumi (or Raph-chan) when he's scared, and just the liking he's taken to the kid, I think Naofumi has definitely found his son figure. Honestly their relationship feels a little more parent and child than even Naofumi and child Raphtalia's was and it took me a bit before I figured out why that was, at least for me.

Naofumi was very parental to Raphtalia and does still somewhat think of her as his daughter. However, when they first met it was also a situation where Raphtalia had to grow up very quickly, and not just physically through leveling. She was bought as a slave and didn't want to go back to the trader. She wanted to fight back against the things that took her family and village from her. She wanted to be Naofumi's sword. She was the sole reason he could gain any significant experience and level up into the Shield Hero he needed to be. The romantic feelings she gained for him were almost certainly a factor but overall, for her sake and his, staying a child, staying as someone's daughter, was not an option. What Naofumi needed wasn't a daughter but a partner. Someone he could lean on and trust.

With Ruft, there is no need for him to grow up quite yet. Yes, Naofumi took him to the village so he could get some experience with the real world and he does plan on toughening him up, but Naofumi is not dependent on Ruft like he was Raphtalia. There's no pressure for Ruft to grow up because Naofumi and everyone else will be fine regardless, so he has more freedom to be a kid. And unlike Filo and the village kids, he doesn't have the added complication of also being Naofumi's slave. Naofumi can treat him and care for him like a kid.

Side note, but is it weird that, even though I know he's related to Raphtalia, before I finally was given an image of him I kept on imagining Ruft looking like Gohan from the very beginning of Dragon Ball Z? Chinese Emperor clothes and all. It feels a little unintentionally racist of me given that Q'ten Lo is meant to resemble isolationist period Japan.

“The Bow Hero mentioned that he has a skill which allows him to scout out the surrounding area from a higher vantage point,” Raphtalia recalled. Itsuki said that? I mean, he was the Bow Hero. It wouldn’t be strange for him to have a skill that allowed him to search for distant targets. That sounded like quite a convenient skill too.

I'm glad about this little detail. I was just saying in the last volume that it felt like the other three heroes didn't seem to have any abilities that weren't directly attack-based. And then later with the hero conference we get even more added to their arsenals beyond just "attack, big attack, and bigger attack" like they'd been showing up until now. Before it felt like the other three could be a bit interchangeable in battle with Naofumi, as it's three attackers and one defender, with range being the only difference. But now, between the four of them, it's a good mix of attack, defense, support, healing, and debuffs. The Four Holy Heroes actually work as a party together.

“R-Raphtalia. Brother. I just want to go and see Master Naofumi! Move aside,” Atla stated.

“No,” Raphtalia replied.

“Never,” replied her brother.

“Raph!” barked a horde of Raphs.

I can hear the freaking echo! I'm dying!

“To be more accurate, they are filolials who act like mountain bandits, attacking wagons carrying off goods and stuff like that,” Melty continued.

...

“Hold on a moment. What the hell is going on then? And—” I finished my thought in my head. If this was the issue that Fitoria wanted help with, then . . . “You’re telling me filolials fight over wagons?”

“Yes. That’s what I’ve been told,” Melty confirmed. Uwah! So she wanted me to resolve some kind of turf war? If these were wild filolials, they weren’t going to go down without a fight.

“The loser has to give their wagon to the winner,” Melty explained. “Also, if it’s the season of love, they can only find love by defeating their opponent.” What were they, hermit crabs?

This is going exactly where I think it's going, isn't it?

[Two chapters later]

“It’s been a while, father-in-law. It’s me, I say, Motoyasu the street racer!”

F******************************************K!

I get Motoyasu is under the effect of his curse series but...it's just so hard to like this guy. It was even before Witch betrayed him and his curse activated. Especially when he uses his Temptation ability to "show Filo his love", basically trying to force her into loving him. Thank goodness it didn't work and that Raph-chan can clear away the effects it did have. Naofumi could stand to be more considerate of Raphtalia when it comes to the Raphs but Motoyasu has been straight up harassing Filo. He tried to keep her trapped in her "angel" form when rescuing her from Naofumi's "brainwashing" and probably was going to keep her that way forever if Witch didn't have her "accidentally" killed along with Melty when removing the brainwashing. I'm pretty sure she was the main person he wanted to peep on in the baths at Cal Mira. He stole her favorite wagon and transformed it into...that. And then there's the shape of...

No...

No!

I'd heard a rumor but...

NO!

I thought it was a web novel thing!

WHY DOES MOTOYASU HAVE A DILDO SPEAR?!?!

Or...god, what if it's not a dildo?!

“I’m taking your daughter. Using my Lust Envy Spear IV,” Motoyasu exclaimed. God. This was all depressing me intently.

“Filo-tan! I will stop you and take your purity!” Motoyasu thrust his spear at Filo.

“Boo!” She wasn’t interested. Then I noticed what he was pointing at. Below the waist, shall we say.

....................Kill him. Kill him. F**king kill him. I don't care about the consequences to the world. Kill him. Kill him now. Have Aura and Mare come over from Overlord and Iris come over from Konosuba. They'll all team up with Filo so that the lolis he loves so much can snap his f**king neck.

I get he's under the effects of a curse (two curses even; lust and envy) but he's almost everything he and Witch accused Naofumi of being. He's brainwashing people and an attempted rapist. All he's missing is abusing his slaves and kidnapping Melty.

...F**k. Okay, back to reality.

So Quirks exist in Itsuki's universe? Last volume I made a comparison between Motoyasu #2 and Bakugo from My Hero Academia because they fit similar tropes for me, but in terms of actual backstory and character, Itsuki is definitely the better comparison. Thought he was special in elementary school because of his powers but got slapped with a bit of reality upon entering the special school for powers. For both of them, this fed into an inferiority complex. It does also add more to Itsuki's hero complex. Bakugo's Quirk and natural talents had him overpraised from youth, leading him to fear the failure of living up to expectations of him. For Itsuki, it goes a little the other way, where his expectations for himself were high, got shattered because the powers above his level were much greater and thus nothing was expected to become of him in comparison, and so he fell into console games where he could be important and the main character for once.

None of this forgives how he treated Rishia but I'd still rather have this understanding and explanation of his character than not. He and Trash have a slightly similar problem for me, and it's not the story's fault. Itsuki's curse has left him pretty fried and emotionless, though it's slowly coming back to him. He hasn't really had a chance to redeem himself. He's working to better himself, yes, but he's also in a state where he'll do everything he's told. He had a nice, split-second apology to Rishia he managed to get out but that's about it. Similarly with Trash, he and Itsuki have sympathetic backstories but he is so lost in his hatred the Shield Hero, Siltvelt, and a few other things that he has not taken responsibility or shown remorse for any of the things that had happened because of him, including his youngest daughter nearly being killed multiple times. Before he was half-crazy and now after meeting Alta and Fohl he just seems withered away and beaten. Trash and Itsuki's situations are sympathetic but they've yet to do anything that puts me on their side beyond basic human empathy and pity.

Compare that to Ren, whom I'm glad I quite like now. He never did anything as bad as Trash or Itsuki, nor does he have as tragic a backstory as either (that's been told to us yet anyway), but he still felt remorse for the bad things he did do and has actively worked to try and make up for them or make certain they don't happen again, because he knows he screwed up. I'm not just supposed to pity him. Like with Naofumi, I'm supposed to see him rise and he does, at several points in this volume being very helpful to very heroic. And I like how he and Naofumi contrast with each other without completely butting heads like stubborn bulls, like over the bandits for justice. They're both heroes but Ren is working hard to be a real hero to make up for the lack of one he was before, while Naofumi outright sees himself as a bad person, that all his good deeds are for selfish motivations and that he's not deserving of being hailed as a hero to begin with.

Well, I think that was all I was going to talk about. Yes sir.

...

.......

.................

.....................

..............................Alta on the cover. Alta on the inner art and quote page. Most of this book being about Fohl's fear over Alta's safety. There were so many red flags you'd think the Phoenix's explosion broke the fourth wall and set fire to the pages themselves.

Yeah, this death was better than Ost's. Ost's death still worked despite her short time with Naofumi's party because there was still emotion during that time and she still is often referenced, remembered, and mourned for even in volumes well after her death, so it feels less cheap and manipulative and more like it actually meant something. With Alta though, it's not just better just because we knew her longer (though that's certainly a factor) but because of the effect on the main characters, especially Naofumi. The raw pain, the denial, the begging, the self-blame, the sheer seething anger, the emptiness. Even the way it's written when she first jumps in the way and after the attack finally ends, it feels like the aftermath of a grenade. Everything is blurred and shaky, everything is silenced except for the ringing in his ears and its not entirely clear what's going on, only that something bad just happened. Naofumi runs through every emotion you'd want from someone like him and it has an even more personal meaning than that. Alta sacrificing herself for him gave Naofumi a bit of a hard slap in the face as to what everyone he cares about would feel if he sacrificed himself for them, which he's tried doing a few time already. It was a very good send-off for Alta.

This was also both the best and worst time for Naofumi to finally be told outright that Raphtalia loves him. Looking forward to either loving or being very frustrated with where this goes. Though regardless, that final art of them just hugging and crying it out is going to hold a special place in my heart.

Trash was apparently the Seven Star Staff Hero. I’d never seen him holding the staff and honestly wondered if the original king was dead and this was just a doppelganger.

Just where was he hiding the Seven Star Staff?

After the dildo spear, please don't ask me to imagine where Trash hides his staff.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/shieldbro/comments/fndipx/read_through_light_novel_vol_15_random_thoughts/

[prettyallfriends]

Pretty Rhythm: My☆Deco Rainbow Wedding Chapter 13+14

(I'm weirdly motivated to just churn out a tonne of chapters tonight. I may get 2 more out of the way... Anyway, in chapter 13 we get some Rinne lore and general sadness. In chapter 14 we basically get confirmation that Ayami is in love with Chae-kyung. I got whiplash between these two chapters)

Chapter 13: The Runway Needs a Prism Heart

Mia: Aaaand here we are!!

Penguin-sensei: You insufferable airhead, dragging people along without thinking!!

Mia: People?? What are you saying~? You’re a penguin!

Penguin-sensei: Oh yeah, I forgot for a second! Yes, I am indeed a member of birdkind. I am, and always have been a penguin~ Penpen!... Wait, what are you making me say!?!?

Mia: Woah, now, don’t get mad. Anyways, what’s Rinne doing around here? (It’s a snowy tree ice rink type area)

Penguin-sensei: Geez! Rinne is entering a fashion show here today.

Mia: A fashion show!? Wow, that’s the perfect job for her, huh? I wonder what coord and what persona she’ll be wearing. That’s it! Why don’t you enter the fashion show too, Player?

Penguin-sensei: It’s not that easy to enter!

Mia: Huh really... Then, I have a question for you, Player… Does Rinne really enjoy being all alone?

Choice: She’s probably lonely / I think she’s fine

Mia: You really think so? No matter how much power you have, you’re bound to get lonely if you’re by yourself all the time. And she changes her personality so much, she might forget her true self. Let’s find her and ask her ourselves.

…

Mia: Hm, we still haven’t found her, huh? --??

Rinne: Seven-hued metamorphosis… Change!!! Pop!!! Yaaaay!☆ Today I’m gonna be super poppy and energetic! And I’m gonna work super hard for my fashion show☆

Mia: She’s changed her personality again!? So now she’s pop, huh… Wait a minute, I can’t just space out! Let’s go, Player!! Kaboom!! Excuse us!!

Rinne: Gah! You surprised me~ Oh? What’s wrong, Player?? Ah, I’ve got it! You want to enter the fashion show, right?

Picock: You fiends! What art you doing here!?

Rinne: It looks like Player wants to enter the fashion show too. It's fine, right? Whoo, okay☆

Picock: Poppycock!! Rinne, thou art entering the fashion show alone! Thou art more than enough! You must adorn yourself in the sexy coord next!!

Rinne: Seven-hued metamorphosis… Change!!! Sexy!!! Ehehe♡ Wow, I’m so touched that you came just to visit little ol’ me, Player-chan♡

Mia: And now she’s acting all sexy!?

Picock: As Rinne possess the powers of every variety of coord, she alone is enough to showcase them all. Next… is this coord! Rinne,--

Mia: That’s enough!!

Rinne: Hm…?

Mia: We don’t want to talk to the personas that Rinne uses with her coords… We came here to talk to the real Rinne!!

Rinne: The… real me??

Mia: Rinne, your said that Player has a wonderful heart, right? They use their own original My☆Deco coords. And you both want the Rainbow Wedding. If that’s the case, then fight Player as your true self!

Rinne: Stop it!!! Ugh… the power of the coords is… (she goes back to her normal outfit)

Picock: Rinne’s seven-hued metamorphosis has… reverted!?

Rinne: I… can’t do it.

Mia: Why not!?

Picock: You insolent fool! Thou art going awfully far… In that case, Player, you are to serve as Rinne’s opponent in this fashion show! Fashion a coord that suits your stage, and show us the power of My☆Deco!

Mia: Hell yeah! Player, you need to use your My☆Deco power to open Rinne’s heart!

(prism show yanno the drill)

Mia: Woohoo!!! Your coord and stage were perfect for each other! You didn’t have to change your persona to be able to perform a great prism show!

Picock: How can this be…? How canst thou perform so well without a seven-hued metamorphosis!?

Mia: It’s because Player is in tune with their own heart. My☆Deco is all about decorating your own heart, after all! Changing your persona to match your coord all the time, meanwhile? That's really sad. Rinne needs to realise that.

Rinne: Your own heart… The real me… Aaaaaaah!!!

Mia: Rinne!? Are you okay??

Rinne: I don’t get it… I don’t get it…

Mia: What don’t you get?

Rinne: I… I can’t remember. I can’t remember anything!!

Mia: Huh…?

Picock: Rinne, do not push yourself too hard whilst trying to recover your memories. There is no need to hurry. Once thou can acquire the Rainbow Wedding…

Rinne: ...I’ll remember everything I’ve forgotten?

Picock: Of course.

Rinne: That’s a relief…

Picock: It would be better if you two left for today. Rinne needs to rest.

Mia: But… Won’t she just keep doing her seven-hued metamorphosis? I mean, at this rate she’ll lose more and more of her true self!

Rinne: It’s fine… Don’t bully them, Picock.

Mia: Rinne…?

Rinne: I’m empty. But if I play all these characters… I feel like someone will tell me it’s okay to exist… After all… I’m…

Picock: Rinne, thou must rest.

Rinna: Right…

Picock: Player. If thou wishes to worry Rinne, the least you can do is polish your My☆Deco power first. The child who was chosen by the Rainbow Charm to wield the power of My☆Deco… Perhaps, you might… No, now is not the time for this.

Mia: For what? Now I have to know!!

Picock: Well then, farewell for now.

Mia: They left… Hmm. It feels like we’ve made a step in the direction of Rinne’s secret… But at the same time, her secrets keep piling up… What did Rinne forget? Agh!!! I! Need! To! Know!!!

(sad music still playing. ATARASII HAIR STYLE DE ASOBERU YO!!!! ATARASII KYOKU DE ASOBERU YO!!!!! Ljdkhjkasfj meganee realy knows how to ruin a moment. Anyway im sure it will be a great relief to learn that ive finally gotten my dream hairstyle and hair colour unlocked)

Chapter 14: Writing a Memomemo About the Secret of the Coord

Mia: You seem pretty down, huh Player? I’m pretty concerned about Rinne too, she seemed really sad… When I look at someone making a sad face, I end up feeling sad too… Ah... There’s a cat outside the window. Cats sure are great~ Not like they have anything to worry about. That’s it! Let’s become cats and just purr all day! Now, you do it too, Player! Purr, meow~~~

Ayami: STAND UP, GIIIIIRLS!!!

Mia: AHH!! Stand-up? Or is it stand up?

Ayami: That’s right. Stand up, girls. Memomemomemomemo…

Mia: What the hell, Ayami! I was in the middle of lazing around like a cat!

Ayami: Ah! Cats… A black cat!!! Cats sure are great… And they never have anything to worry about…

Mia: I literally said the exact same thing!

Ayami: Ah… I also want to become a cat.

Mia: Why? Did something happen, Ayami?

Ayami: Um…

Mia: That reminds me, you wanted to participate in Stand Up Girls, right?

Ayami: That’s right. I’m going to form a team with Chae-kyung-san and enter next time.

Mia: That’s cool. You’ll be able to pull off a very celebrity show then!

Ayami: Yes… And I’m happy about that, I’m really looking forward to it… but we decided that I’m going to be in charge of designing our coords.

Mia: But you’re great at designing, right?

Ayami: I really love Chae-kyung, but when I think of the kinds of coords she usually wears… Well, they’re the cream of the crop! They’re out of my league! ...which is what I’ve been thinking as I write memo upon memo upon memo upon…

Mia: Wow… Your notebook's completely full! You won’t thinking of any new ideas like this.

Ayami: I know that. But whenever I think about it… Ugh. Player-san, do your have any good ideas?

Choice: Try to get some inspiration from something around here? / I’ve got nothing

Ayami: Something around here… That’s actually really good advice! Hm…? What are you looking at, Player-san? Oh, Mr. Cat. Look, he’s sleeping with his tummy out, aww. He’s so cute, all relaxed like that. ...Ah!

Mia: Did you think of something!?

Ayami: As expected of Player-san! You wanted me to get inspiration from the cat, didn’t you? I need to learn how to relax my heart just like this cat!

Mia: Is… is that right!?

Ayami: I’ll take a memomemo! I’ve thought of a design! Player-san, could you do a show in the coord I’ve designed? I’ve taken a memomemo of the cute, meowing Black Cat Coord! Hm, that’s right… Powder Snow Park is close by, let’s go there!

(prism show. My nyas?)

Ayami: Amazing! That was a very meowmeow show! Chae-kyung-san will definitely like the coord too…

Chae-kyung: Ayami!

Ayami: Chae-kyung-san! You were watching too?

Chae-kyung: That was a very celebrity show. Ayami and Player are both amazing! With this coord, we’re sure to get a celebrally good result in Stand Up Girls.

Ayami: Ehehe… I’m so happy to hear that. It’s all thanks to Player-san. Carefully thinking things through is important, but freely thinking things through is important too! I’ll make a memomemo of that!

Mia: Wow, Player, you’ve really grown, huh! You gave Ayami design advice, you’re so cool! Your My☆Deco power has to have powered up too, right?

Ayami: According to my memos, by powering up your My☆Deco power… you’ll be able to decorate your prism stones with frames!

Chae-kyung: Being able to create your own celebrity original coords is wonderful!

Ayami: You should try making a lot of new coords with your new ability to add frames. That’s it! If you’re okay with it, why not use this Black Cat Part for your My☆Deco?

Chae-kyung: You’ll definitely be able to make a celebrally cute coord!

Mia: Now that your My☆Deco has powered up, you’ll be able to enjoy prism shows a lot more! The Gold Spiral Cup is coming up soon, too. Work hard up until then!

Chae-kyung: We’re also going to work celebrally hard at the Gold Spiral Cup!

Ayami: Player-san, thank you so much!

(naur bc why did google drive keep autocorrecting chae-kyung to chase-kyung. bitch who tf is chase-kyung. maybe chase-kyung is her mechas car transformation idk)

[blorbosexterminator]

AND I am back. Once again on this lovely day to give my review for the EPISODE 24 so, here we go :

Agustin is squinting his eyes at him, as Sergio keeps muttering that Agustin has in fact done what he just mentioned he did and which both of them have known for years. 

Federico is 99% dead?! Damn, what is Sergio's gonna do?! Make it 100% ? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

(I got a feeling that Federico is the kidnapper or atleast a very important lead to them)

Btw, WHO IS FEDERICO?! Tatiana's alive husband?!

(Look at me, hoping like a moron she aint dead

My dog : Yep, total moron 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Me :

Me : NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR BITCH-ASS OPINION, YOU DUMB-FUCK DONKEY!!!! 😡😡😡)

Martin, my darling, my sweetheart, my poor angel. Nada, some help? Atleast gimme some tips, bruh, come on, you cant desert me like that. Not when I need to help someone 🙁🙁🙁

since, drunk, the last idea he got was that Laura turned out to be completely insane and kidnapped Andrés to marry him

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Martin, honey, stop drinking. This getting out of hand 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. But then again, Andres is so hot poor thing keeps on doubting.

As Roci said in one of the tags, his wives deserve the highest civilian award for putting up with him.

(Although, I just had a frisky thought. What if Sergio wanted Andres away from Martin, not because he cared bout his hermano but......😳😳😳😳😳 *whispers loudly* he wanted Andres all for himself? In *frantically looks around* INCEST WAY?!)

(Calm down, my deranged mind, you went too far 🤣🤣🤣)

Who knows, it could be the professor he punched in the middle of an exam once. Martín doesn’t think he has forgiven him.

Mood, bruh, such a mood 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 NO, OMG 😆😆😆 I didnt do it, but I do kinda have a beef with my Organic prof. I'll go off tangent again, so tell me if you wanna know the story.

He sent Silene in disguise to collect the cctv from the nearby shops and streets. His own cctv has been disabled since the IT bitch ruined it, Martín will kill him when he gets them back.

I think if and only IF Silene finds something good, her % of redemption will increase.

(Raquel s2e7 deja vu, I see what you did there 😏)

And Martin about to go John Wick on anyone & everyone. I tell ya Keanu Reeves will be crying when he sees Martin go nuts. I am willing to bet he'll pull a gun on the poor milkman, who just wanna do his job 😆😆😆

So he calls Bogota, with a little (not that little) handwritten list in his hand with the names of people he thinks he might have ruined their life in the past. 

Martin : Okay, I'll just take out the list and

*the paper rolls out the door, travels around the world for 5 times and comes back while going over top of Everest and bottom of Marina Trench*

No, it’s because when he hated Martín, he had always hated him openly. If he wanted to hurt him, then he’d just try to stab him in the middle of the living room.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Bogota, did Tatiana have any family?”

“No, who of us did, Martín?”

“You literally have 7 children and 7 ex-wives.”

COMEDY GOLD, NADA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Those kids are ungrateful bastards, if I fall dead tomorrow they would just run to see what they’ve inherited.”

Aka THE PLOT of 70% Indian Telenovas 🤣🤣🤣. Also this line alone has so much soap opera vibes 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

He has no choice but to go to fucking Sergio Marquina. And if it’s his wife, then even better. Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer. 

For fuck sake, Martín, Ive been telling you from last 2 ep

Stop. Blaming. Raquel.

Also, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 damn, these 2 assholes cant keep away from each other. Nada, are we sure these 2 married the right people? As much I am a Berlermo ship stan, this here is just smth else 😆😆😆

Uh-oh 🙁 this asshole son of a bitch just poked the mama bear. And if ANDRES of all people narrows his eyes at you, You are, quoting Martin from last ep, truly, utterly, entirely, thoroughly and wholly fucked.

“Do you know him?”

“Oh yes, a childhood friend, I stole his pencil once and he never forgave me. Have you heard this Paula? Don’t steal your friends’ pencils, they will never get over the betrayal. You could steal the teacher’s ones though.”

“Why did you steal his pencil?” Paula asked seriously, with a delirious tone, and too tired to even move her head upwards. Raquel is gonna kill every single person involved for doing this to her daughter.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Sassy Andres = Best Andres. Words that should be written with GOLD. Wisdom passed onto generations

Poor Paula 🤣🤣🤣 I just imagine this in some other situation :

Andres : *saying smth smth*

Paula : *taking notes & asking questions*

Raquel after seeing her daughter :

Look what you made me do

🎶But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time

Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time

I got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined

I check it once, then I check it twice, oh!

Ooh, look what you made me do

Look what you just made me do🎶

(Look what you made me do by Taylor Swift)

I am telling you Nada, by the time Raquel will be done with everyone, Uma Thurman will cry buckets because no one, okay?, no one can compete with A MAMA BEAR RAQUEL MURILLO.

“Poison is a woman’s choice of weapon, Anibal. Don’t be disrespectful.”

Again, words of wisdom. Only time hes not being a misogynist.

Also, Andres, my dear, are you speaking this from experience?

(Why do I think that Martin got Tatiana killed cause she poisoned him and Martin had to watch Andres fight for his life in hospital?)

“He won’t say anything, Mama. He’s the one who kidnapped grandma with Silene!”

Is anyone gonna listen to her? Or do I need to bonk Raquel myself? 🤦‍♀️

“Silence!” she screams. “I need to know everything that happened, if we’re getting out of here alive.” 

FINALLY!!!! SOME COMMON SENSE!!!! WE THANK THE LORD FOR MERCY!!!

And as for me, its time for me to say goodbye and goodnight (Cause its quarter to 12 rn in my watch)

AND ILL SEE YALL TOMORROW 🤗 BYE!!! 🙋‍♀️

I'm back as well! And we've finally caught up with each other.

Valid reaction. Sergio is also slowly going insane. Love that for him.

He's hoping he could. We all know this family has beef with that last one percentage.

(we'll see👀👀👀)

Hope is all we got at this point afabgs.

Now, now, don't speak to him like that. He has valid criticism.

I'd help him if I could, but alas (lmfao no, I do love them suffering)

Same recommendation. But he just, poor boy, could nothing to think of. So might as well be Laura. (also fair, who knows, maybe Andrés gets constantly kidnapped and forced into marriage)

Definitely, she's 100%. I really don't know how they do it.

Avsnsjsvjshsjs all theories are valid. Maybe Sergio does want Martín or Andrés, who knows what goes in the head of that fucker.

Seems like an interesting story! I never got along with my chemistry teachers. (Got one once to tell me that he's still not kicking me out of class only because he feels bad for my parents that they have to deal with me and they'll be the ones who will have to deal with the mess lmfao.)

Yes, have some faith in her!

100% accurate. Martín is this close from just shooting random people in the supermarket because they also could be the ones who kidnapped Andrés.

HAHAHA YES. This is exactly how the scene went.

We stan honesty in this house.

So happy you found it funny!!

I can confirm! Like 70% of all Egyptian drama as well.

I don't think he's hearing you well. But afnajscsgsh SAME. Okay look, now I really understand show runners with super homoerotic ships that they refuse to make canon. You try and make two male characters hate each other so much for plot then it slips and gets homoerotic.

Totally agree. This guy isn't making enemies with the right people (they are all dumb, but also none of them have anything that even resembles a moral compass)

Totally agree. This guy is honestly super amusing to watch and it's mainly because he's incapable of taking any situation in life seriously.

This family is really iconic. (love the song agsnsg) but also like Raquel would basically tell her after writing done his notes just put the title on top: things to never, ever, do.

I believe you! They really fucked with the wrong dumb family.

I mean, he's still a misogynist. Maybe some of us really like dagger, has he considered that?

That's as valid theory as any right there.

Hopefully Raquel will finally start listening to the child!

Raquel is the only one with a semblance of common sense.

Hope you had a good sleep! I'll see you tomorrow!

[selfcareparker]

LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)

[villainever]

"I See You Got What You Wanted": Niko & Villanelle's Relationship + What Gemma's Death Means for Villaneve

i think it’s fairly safe to say that gemma’s death in 2x07 has been one of the most controversial of villanelle’s murders. in this mini-essay, i want to look at the eve-niko-villanelle-gemma dynamic, why villanelle might’ve killed gemma, what that means for the show’s plot, and for villanelle/eve. although in my last post i talked about how villanelle and eve DON’T have an “i / it” relationship, villanelle certainly does position most other people in the “it” category. eve is an exception, not the rule – unless someone really captures villanelle’s attention, she doesn’t really bother to contextualise them as more than an object, or in gemma’s case, a tool.

villanelle is aware of gemma before eve is, and meets her minutes after, as one of her many characters – one specifically designed for interacting with gemma. remember, this is 2x03, and even though raymond has told villanelle that eve isn’t interested in her anymore, she doesn’t believe him yet, because a) she doesn’t view raymond as a reliable source, and b) eve came to julian’s house when villanelle called her, even though they ultimately missed each other. at this point, villanelle is happy with her and eve’s progress, and understands that they’re more connected than they’ve ever been (“she [stabbed me] to show me how much she cares about me” / “sometimes when you love someone, you will do crazy things”). but one obstacle remains between her and eve: niko.

i believe her actions at this juncture reflect how seriously villanelle takes her relationship with eve, and its potential future. because the obvious, easy answer to someone like villanelle would be, “kill niko”. it’s fast and efficient and neatly removes him from the equation. BUT. villanelle has learned from killing anna’s husband that people don’t just bounce back from having a partner murdered, even if they were already having an affair with you. so villanelle takes killing niko completely off the table; she doesn’t want eve to hate her, to resent her even years later, like anna did. notably, though, her first strategy is NOT to tell him about the stabbing, and to try and make him hate/distrust eve. she tries the carrot, not the stick. 

“squirt your perfume in his room so it always smells like you. flatter him. make him doubt his wife.” not only is this transparently from villanelle’s playbook (lmao), it’s an attempt to give gemma a viable plan to solve everyone’s problem: gemma seduces niko > niko leaves eve > eve is single > villanelle and eve rail each other into the next century (i can only assume this is how villanelle’s brain works lol). gemma gets niko, and presumably both are happy and far away. and most importantly, villanelle gets eve for keeps. i think this is probably the max of empathy we can expect from villanelle when it comes to two people she literally couldn’t care less about except for their roles in eve’s life. however, villanelle’s massively impatient. her idea doesn’t work instantly, probably because she’s overestimated niko’s willingness to abandon a long-term relationship for new possibilities and chemistry – and who can blame her, seeing as she’s making her calculations based on eve’s readiness to do the same when villanelle comes into the picture. anyway, villanelle isn’t getting instant results, and then the game changes: eve doesn’t come to amsterdam. villanelle’s suddenly freaking out, because god, what if eve’s not into her anymore, when villanelle still so crazy about her?

so after meeting up with eve in 2x05 – which confirms yet again that this thing between them isn’t something villanelle can bear to lose – she shifts it up a gear, and tells niko that eve stabbed her. it’s the pincer approach: on one side, there’s gemma, looking sweet and simple, and on the other, eve, appearing increasingly grey and complex. obviously, that’s a very easy choice for villanelle, and she’s hoping it is for niko too, only in the opposite direction. everything that makes villanelle like eve more, makes niko like her less. 

then niko and eve hook up in 2x06. villanelle probably kicks over every trash can along the street and taps on all windows creepily to scare people until she feels better. after this, she’s a bit petty with eve until eve reveals that niko left. then it’s all genuine effort at AA, and “maybe eve’s lonely, i should text her”, because hey, the window is open, and impatience cuts both ways. she’s not going to lose the opportunity.

by 2x07, things are going well between villanelle and eve, but villanelle wants reassurance, and insurance. she’s tying up loose ends – getting the recipe, making sure gemma and niko are riding off into the sunset and leaving her and eve alone. side note: while villanelle tells niko that she wants the shepherd’s pie recipe because “eve likes it”, i think it’s also because to villanelle (who loves food) it’s a significant piece of the memory of her first proper meeting with eve in 1x05. she might be hoping it reminds eve of this night too, but even if it doesn’t, villanelle likes it, and it has all-round positive associations for her.

anyway. villanelle asks niko if he loves gemma – no, he doesn’t. he loves eve. “of course i do, she’s my wife”. in this scene, after he says that line, villanelle’s eyes get shiny, like they did in amsterdam, almost like she’s about to cry. ive tried to grab it in the screenshot, but it’s hard when it’s not a gif. 

here’s the thing. i don’t think villanelle would’ve killed gemma if she’d waited until after rome to have this confrontation. why? because in rome, it’s pretty clear that even if niko’s not over eve, eve is pretty much over him. when niko leaves, eve says, “don’t leave me alone!” crucially, this line, this FEAR, isn’t really about him at all. eve’s relationship with villanelle is so volatile that she hasn’t made the leap yet, unsure of the landing. niko is her safety net. we’ve been shown all season that eve’s basically bored with him, and has been since pre-villanelle (“you’ve missed [teacher’s night] for three years”), but she keeps him around so that she has someone. at this point, eve isn’t certain whether she has other people in her life, so she doesn’t want to lose him.

EXCEPT. seeing him with gemma at her house kind of puts him in a new light, and eve’s abruptly faced with exactly how normal he is, and how different they are. earlier that day, she and villanelle were running an undercover op, and villanelle killed someone in broad daylight (at least a lil to impress eve), but here niko is, hanging out with someone who collects music boxes, and is painfully ordinary by contrast. it’s enough to get eve to walk away, but her decision is affirmed in rome. hugo’s more than happy to sleep with her, and far more significantly, villanelle is too. eve’s suddenly available, but villanelle hasn’t lost interest now that the chase is effectively over (they’re hardly enigmas in different countries anymore; they work together and text and have conversations about jealousy). with niko gone, eve ISN’T alone. and i think eve will find that life without a safety net is even more of an adrenaline rush, plus now there’s nobody to slow her down or question her (questionable) decision-making. she’s not thinking about niko AT ALL, and he’s barely crossed her mind this season anyway. but rewind to pre-rome, and villanelle sees an eve/niko reunion as a possibility. now, i really doubt niko would’ve told villanelle he still loved eve if he’d realised it was the wrong answer. in fact, i believe he thinks it is the right answer for villanelle, because he fundamentally misunderstands villaneve’s relationship.

he still thinks it’s a cat-and-mouse, power-trip thing. in season 1, he accuses eve of getting off on being the only one who can predict villanelle (not landing on the fact that it’s villanelle herself eve likes, not just the rush of a high-stakes mission), but even with villanelle saying, “we’re more than friends”, his “what are you talking about?” is actually in response to her telling him she’s forgiven eve – he’s asking, “forgiven her for what?”. niko doesn’t get that villanelle and eve are inherently romantic, albeit in an unconventional (and twisted) way. he does infer that villanelle cares for eve in some way, so i think he incorrectly adds it up, and comes to the conclusion that in 2x07, villanelle’s come to see him and gemma because she’s mad at him for leaving eve, and has come for revenge on eve’s behalf. but she’s not there for revenge, she’s there for closure. and he turns around and does the exact opposite of what she wants. so she kills gemma.

even though many of us were expecting a recurring character death this season (i saw some speculation around hugo, particularly), gemma’s death wasn’t exactly predictable. while villanelle killing people is very par for the course with this show, and killing eve does an excellent job of using close narration to warp viewer’s morality while they watch (another essay in that point), gemma evoked a lot more of an emotional response than villanelle’s typical marks. i think this is for a few reasons. firstly, even though she was far from the show’s coolest or most interesting character, gemma was nice and considerate; she tried to shoot her shot, but she never pushed niko to cheat on eve, and when she met eve, she was kind (and friendly to villanelle too when she was “kim”). secondly, she was really normal – most of killing eve’s cast of characters feel exceptional, almost fantastical in the best way, but gemma was someone you could meet in real life. lastly, gemma didn’t opt-in to any of this; unlike bill, nobody warned her of the risks, and her life was completely extrinsic to the main plot – from her perspective, she basically got killed completely out of nowhere. villanelle won’t kill people eve cares about anymore. she killed bill, when their relationship was nascient, but in 1x05, villanelle telling eve “he was slowing you down” is what prompts eve to reach for the knife that first time before villanelle pins her to the fridge. but eve dislikes gemma, so villanelle decides this is unlikely to have negative repercussions for her.

is she intending to frame niko for murder to eliminate him permanently without killing him? maybe. she did use materials she found on-site (i.e. crime of passion). but villanelle has a certain flair for narrative, and i think if she was trying to do that, she probably would’ve staged some kind of scene to make niko seem more guilty (e.g. a domestic dispute). that said, the murder did have less of her usual drama, so she might be trying to keep it realistic for niko to have done. if yes, this was a bit risky, because it might pull niko into the MI5 investigation, and put him in proximity to eve. what i think is most likely is that, just as villanelle has positive associations with niko’s shepherd’s pie, she’s trying to give niko a negative association with eve. trying to ensure that every time he looks at her, he sees gemma dying for no real reason, sees the harsh reality of the path she’s chosen, and can never be truly close to her again. if it’s niko’s choice to stay away from eve, then eve will be less mad at villanelle – she might be more cross if he got falsely imprisoned. this way, she’ll see him as someone who can’t hack it, just as she already does. and he’ll see how she keeps going on, relatively untroubled, and his image of her as “the best person [he] knows” will be irreparably shattered. so will eve be mad about gemma? im not even sure she’ll find out about it this season. it seems like there’s a lot going on in rome next episode; it might not even come up. honestly, given eve’s current development, i’d guess the consequences will be eve acting huffy at villanelle for a few days in a way that villanelle will weather in relatively good spirits, knowing that once it’s passed, they’re in the clear. eve doesn’t care about gemma, maybe even dislikes her, and if she was able to move past bill’s death, then this is unlikely to bother her that much. with eve, we are able to more and more often see these “i / it” relationships shine through, and to eve as well as villanelle, i think gemma is an “it”. carolyn will probably make this mess go away, to keep her own plans sailing smoothly.

gemma’s murder also has the symbolic value of the death of normality, specifically eve’s normality, which she’s been drifting further and further from over the whole show, but particularly this season. gemma’s body literally has “fragile” written on the murder weapon: eve’s ordinary existence was always fragile, because eve didn’t fit. she’s a sociopath, and her life was a performance that was suffocating her, just as gemma suffocates. personally, i liked gemma, and was quite sad that she died. while i was shocked when it happened, the longer i’ve had to reflect, the less i feel that surprise. part of what makes killing eve fresh is that it doesn’t pull punches, and it’s not interested in trying to make villanelle more human, it’s interested in seeing how far it can take her and still have us love her. given the fates of bill, frank and nadia (she even shot konstantin), this was hardly out of the left field for her – the most notable deviation is that gemma’s death was her last resort, not her first idea. just as eve is changing, villanelle is adapting too. ive mentioned a few times that they’re meeting in the middle, and this is another step towards that. now, for anyone who actually made it through that slog, i have one more point. villanelle is really hung up on niko’s moustache, and i think that’s a great choice from the writers’ room, to have the thing she uses to identify him as being something explicitly masculine. to villanelle, niko is just The Man. The Husband. The “i / it” relationship here is between villanelle and a moustache.

this mini-essay is for @enter-the-mind-of-a-degenerate , who asked in the comments of the last one. if anyone else has any requests, inbox me or reply to this post :D also any and all of your comments give me life, and i have so much fun reading them/the messages you guys send me. 

[commenter2]

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart demo analysis

So I watched the Rift Apart gamescom demo and the Q&A of Ratchet & Clank Rift Apart and it was both amazing AND informative.

Just like with the release trailer, here is a breakdown of the demo.

So the demo opens with to the possible main screen for the game but we soon see our heroes coming out of a rift and ending up at that train station seen in the July game demo, which is confirmed to be in Megalopolis AKA Megapolis but most likely spelled wrong or renamed, meaning the place is in the Bogon Galaxy which will be cool to see again.

One thing you quickly notice is the metal on Ratchet’s glove which will later be revealed to be the Rift Tether, which seems to be built into the glove instead of being a separate gadget like the Swingshot.

The two talk about how there back to where they were and how they aren’t far from “him” AKA Dr. Nefarious and decide to go find him to stop whatever he is doing until they are attacked by GOONS-4-Less minions, who not only look a bit different then the Thugs from Into the Nexus (I think they look a bit like the ones in Going Commando) but the also have a skater dude accents to them instead of the English accents the Thugs had in Into the Nexus.

The gameplay looks great and we even see more of the new mechanics involved like the new HUD system, how when aiming down sight you can change it from your right or left, and how its seems that the Rift Tether glove can make Ratchet dash forward, instead of using Clank’s Heli-pack though I hope its still an option to use.

Its not long till we see Dr. Nefarious in a mech but that’s not important when you see that he has a new design, especially at his eyes which are more detailed then those red dots he had before, and how he no longer has that scar on his face and head.

We then get a cutscene that includes several huge reveals about the game, the biggest being how Dr. Nefarious has somehow gotten his hands onto the Dimensionator (which I totally called) and has turned it into a weapon of some sorts, which surprised me. This scene also finally confirms that Rift Apart IS post Into the Nexus, which is confirmed again in the Q&A.

Before I continue I want to save some time and post a theory on how I think the game will start, as I believe the demo takes place shortly after the first level. So I can see the game opening up with Ratchet & Clank looking for Nefarious as during the gap between Into the Nexus and Rift Apart, he stole the Dimensionator from Clank somehow and has been on the run from a universal manhunt given how dangerous he could be with it. Our heroes find him and try to stop him but they get blasted by his new machine and get sent to the AU of Sargasso similar to the reveal trailer though maybe there the player learns the basic mechanics till Ratchet & Clank get chase by something (either the robots from the trailer or the giant Sandsharks as seen in a popular screenshot of the game) and ride that bug creatures to safety till they somehow get back to Megaopolis where the events of the demo happen. Now back to the demo.

So after a rant of how he will win, Nefarious tries to use his Dimensionator gun on our heroes but before he can, Ratchet pulls out his gun (which unfolds similar to how his weapons from the 2002 game did) and shoots at the crystal within the weapon (most likely a Surinox shard as seen in the comics and kind of an obvious weak spot for a weapon) and causes an explosion that makes Nefarious and his mech fly and crash into a nearby building. However before anything can happen, a purple wave flows by everything and rifts start to form, spitting out everything from winged creatures to a Troglosaur that destroys the bridge.

Again before I continue, I want to say that this is kind of an interesting moment as we were led to believe that it was Nefarious that caused the rifts to form but it was really Ratchet that caused all of this ! Sure it was an accident but it would be interesting to get a small side plot where we see Ratchet deal with how he had a hand in the events of the game.

We then get a quick exposition scene of what is happening with the rifts (though I think there was an error or some content was taken out as there is a split second where Ratchet talks while his jaw doesn’t move) along with of how Ratchet & Clank figure out how to use the blue rifts when yellow/orange rifts to there advantage.

We then get some more gameplay footage, which is similar to the gameplay shown in July as we see Ratchet & Clank fight goons and other creatures through the train yard till they get fall though a rift and end up near the platform of the building Nefarious crashed into.

During some dialogue Clank mentions how he wont get use to dimension hopping and how Ratchet is glad there still on the same planet, which backs up what I said earlier in that they must have gone to an alternate dimension before the events of the demo.

The two go to the platform and fight some thugs, though we see several more new mechanics like how the selection back for the quick select wheel can be fluid at times and how the weapon level up feature sees to be a mix of the feature form Into the Nexus where it tells you how it levels up and that the weapon spins similar the original games and ACIT. Speaking of leveling up, the level up system for Ratchet is very different as Ratchet is encase in blue energy that blast outward but also displays features that level up like his health AND his wrench !

Ratchet & Clank get close to Nefarious but they fall into another rift and the rest of the demo is just like the trailer from July but with some changes here and there like some dialogue changes, the instructions on how to double jump on grind rails called trick jump, how there is a Swingshot versa-targets on the Torren IV segment, some screens on the new planet quickly displaying the eyes of Nefarious, and having the subtitles call the female Lombax “Mysterious Lombax”.

I also watched the Q&A segment and it pretty much goes over things we already know, like the DualSense features for weapons and the rift tethers but it does go over two big things like how IG will be keeping the female Lombax’s name a secret for now, no hints at all, and that they also confirm that the game will be coming out around the launch window for the PS5, which is rumored to come out around November, so fingers cross.

What was your favorite moment from the demo ? Did you notice anything in it that I didn’t mention ? What else do you hope to see happen in Rift Apart ?

[hellishvu]

Imagine BTS: with you who loves to play with their hands/hair

— hehe i’m currently writing this in mexico, on the plane, and on the bus back home...gays let me tell you... i’m very excited to start opening my story requests and the new look of august is looking good! also sorry about last story, i really couldn’t figure out how to add “read more” and it was acting dumb! also this imagine is probably the longest i’ve ever wrote and the real reason why it took so long to write !

Kim Namjoon: ˚✧₊⁎

Namjoon has been on tours and busy traveling to different shoots and interviews. You promised Namjoon you would come with him the next tour saving up all your vacation days to be with him on the bus you two are on right now.

You couldn’t guess how many hours of sleep he got. Half the time he gets the appropriate amount and the other time he gets less then 5 hours. You could tell by the the middle of the day wether he was grumpy or stressed out. Wanting you to hold his hand way more often being needy almost, you complied though everytime.

“Aren’t you tired Joon?” Namjoon leans on your shoulder typing at his phone listening to instrumentals trying to catch lyrical inspiration.

“Nope, need to write lyrics.” See when Namjoon comes up with an excuse of why he isn’t tired. That’s when you know he’s actually running on small amounts of sleep. You yanked your blanket from your backpack laying it on top of Namjoon seeing his suspicious glance.

“Are you sure angel?” Rubbing his hair, that was the man’s weakness and if he was tired he would fall asleep in minutes when you rubbed his hair. Looking out the bus window playing with his hair.

“Mmh stop rubbing. You know that’s my weakness!” Namjoon whines turning around when he places his head in the crook of your neck. Running your hand through his hair you couldn’t help but snicker seeing he looked like a big baby but he was your baby.

“I wonder what happens when I do that and why it gets my angel so mad.” Placing a kiss on his cheek while he wraps his hands around your neck basically putting more of his body on your side then his own seat.

“Not sleeping.” Namjoon says quietly hoping you didn’t hear but you did sending you to give him more cheek kisses. The rest of the members were sleeping and it happened that you wanted the hard working man to go to sleep finally when he has a chance.

“With the spell of love I command Namjoon to fall asleep.” You couldn’t finish your sentence seeing that Namjoon fell asleep already in your arms. Smelling his fresh scent hair that he washed before leaving to be bus.

Namjoon woke up seeing the roads of just freeways, yawning not realizing that he was well still on top of you. Grumbling you press him closer wanting him to go back to sleep.

“Angel go back to sleep. Still have.. 2 hours left.” He heard your breathing slow down because you were half asleep. Namjoon couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter because even if you weren’t awake fully you still called him angel. Namjoon went back to sleep even if in the back of his head he should be working on lyrics. That could wait he suppose.

“So you know that sculptor that I was basically couldn’t stop talking about?” After the bus ride the group separated, now being in a car with only Namjoon. Namjoon asks with a voice of interest while you search for a place to eat after the long bus ride.

“Yeah of course, what about them?” Driving because well Namjoon couldn’t. You love it when Namjoon talks about things he loves even if they weren’t understood by other people he loves it anyway.

“Well their workshop is here and I’ve been meaning to meet them.”

“But?” You asked knowing there was something holding him back from meeting this person that he gets inspiration from.

“But what if they don’t want to teach me? Or they think I’m stuck up?” You lowered the music when the lights were red. Namjoon looking out of the window before looking back at you.

“Angel who ever thinks you are ignorant is completely blind. I’m sure they will be so happy to teach you, you’ve brought many army to their creations of work.” With one hand you drove and the other quickly running your hand through his hair, Namjoon turning up the music once again.

You drove to a local restaurant to grab something quick to eat seeing the workshop was starting sooner then you’ll like. Namjoon almost chugging his entire ice tea and his meal. You rested your hand on top of his wanting to calm him down. You wouldn’t want him to throw up in front of the sculptor.

“Sorry, just nervous.”

“Joon Ive seen you nervous but this is something else.”

“Okay I’m excited, nervous, scared, and going to throw up all in one feeling.” Namjoon sighs pulling his hands up to his face. You ordered the check, going back to Namjoon pulling his hands down to see his face.

“You will be fine okay? And if anything happens you can call me.” Placing a tip you walked out with Namjoon holding his hand feeling his palms sweat. He went from sucking on the mint the restaurant provided to biting on it in mere seconds once he saw the building.

“You will be okay! I will wait outside and if anytime you think you can’t do it. Just wave at me and we’ll be out here.” Parking in the lot of the building, Namjoon seeing his confirmation of his ticket to the workshop. Taking deep breathes he opened the car door stepping out, cleaning his suit, and checking his breath. Before he walked in the building he waved at you, you responded to him by blowing him a kiss.

An hour or two went by, you going from playing music and singing in the car to hearing the local radio of your favorite celebrities interviews. Humming a tone you looked out to see many different people walk out with their sculptures. Some of them had just classic bowls while others had details pieces of work that could belong to a museum.

You tried to look for Namjoon till you saw him and the famous sculptor laughing together. That moment made you proud of Namjoon seeing that he took a chance and his reward was that he got along with his inspiration. Namjoon pointed at you in the car, you were taken back but waved seeing the sculptor pat him on the back before going back to the building.

“Wait before you drive! I got you something. Well I made it.” Namjoon gets in the car hearing you turn on the engine. Setting a cardboard box smelling the freshly dried clay, you hummed opening the box seeing a crab holding a heart.

“A crab—”

“Holding a heart! A heart for you!” Namjoon lifted it from the box turning it around for you to see all the beautiful details he put into. You kissed him on the cheek setting down the crab sculpture.

“It’s beautiful. I love it.” Leaning back from Namjoon, he pulls you by your neck pressing a kiss against your lips. He wanted to show you how grateful he was for you. To encourage him to take chances.

Kim Seokjin: ˚✧₊⁎

The morning was a special place for you, wether Seokjin came home late or early enough to catch you awake. You always know you can wake up to him. The face of pleasant sleep and dreams till he woke up fluttering his eyelashes yawning to see you admiring him.

“Didn’t know my cutie was a stalker.” Seokjin’s voice was starting to come back. The deep voice making you rest your head on his chest. His heartbeat against your ear and the warmth of his body that made your heart whole.

“You look cute sleeping.” Seokjin rested his hand on his stomach but it didn’t take much long for you to grab it holding the hand of his. Placing kisses on his knuckles hearing him snicker from how cheesy you are. You two could lay down all day and listen to eachother’s breathing.

“I’m sure I do.” You place the entirwing hands on top of your chest, you checking the time on your phone with your free hand. You had enough time with Seokjin before he had to get ready, him humming your favorite song looking into your eyes. The butterflies that Seokjin caused even months into the relationship.

“Give me kisses.” You cooed at him resting your chin on his chest seeing him have a slight grin. You now holding both of his hands with yours.

“1 Kiss.. 2 kiss... 3 kiss... 4 kiss.” Seokjin press his lips on your forehead, both cheeks, and finally ending it with your lips. Earning you a smile before giving him the same treatment.

The next morning was well a special one. Since it was your first month living together you wanted to celebrate in a special way and what better way was breakfast in bed!

“Y/N! Where are you?!” You heard Seokjin scream from the bedroom while you were getting his meal prepared. Almost sprinting back to the bedroom so you could keep your surprise a secret.

“What is it?” Peeking from the door trying to keep your secret from showing in your voice. Seokjin rolled over to your side of the bed wanting to get the cuddles he needs.

“I will come back to bed, just have to wash some dishes.” Sending him a sweet smile before he yawned. Running his hand through his bed hair, you could just go back to bed with him and play with his hair but you knew that you couldn’t break.

“I can help you with the dishes.” Seokjin hoarse voice making your knees weak but you brushed him off. Couldn’t go ruining your surprise, now you thought about it the food was probably getting cold while talking to him.

“No! No it’s fine baby. Just stay in bed and I’ll be back quickly.” Kissing his forehead he nods going back to laying down but not without giving you a look of confusion.

You checked the warmth of the food, getting the freshly toasted bread from the toaster. You tried your best to carry everything in one hand and you swore you had dropped some strawberries on the way to the bedroom. You’ll just have to clean them up later.

“To my wonderful boyfriend.” Cheering with your high pitch voice you opened the door seeing the bed empty with no Seokjin found.

“Seokjin?” You asked placing the breakfast on the drawer filled with freshly cleaned clothes. Peeking into the bathroom you saw Seokjin brushing his teeth noticing you were standing behind him.

“What is it cutie?” He raised his eyebrow before spitting out the toothpaste. You pointed out the bathroom door, Seokjin whipping off the water on his shirt seeing the breakfast perfectly made.

“Aww cutie... I’m so sorry. If I would’ve known I would have gone back to sleep and woke up to find my prince charming bringing me breakfast in bed!” Pressing his body closer to you forcing into a hug while you whine in his chest.

Another morning you remember waking up and not seeing Seokjin by your side. You yawned rubbing your eyes maybe thinking your vision was messing with you. The house was empty and silent making you dread of being alone.

Searching through the house, no bubbly Seokjin was found and that made you take out your phone. See the thing was that Seokjin when he leaves earlier then expected he puts a cute little note about it but you haven’t seen one.

The moment you send it the door opens with Seokjin. He opens his mouth not realizing you were in the living room. Seokjin held a black plastic bag which seems to be filled with take out breakfast food.

“So... first I thought you would overslept since you stood up really late and second I thought if you did wake up you would stay in the bedroom.” Seokjin places the bag on the living room table.

“So we both ruined eachother’s bed in breakfast plan?”

“Basically.” You two bursted into laughter, trying to do all this cheesy stuff but it never goes plan but you both know this was better. Opening the bag the box of yours had bold letters of your name and hearts around it.

“I love you.” Seokjin quietly says holding your hand. You kiss him on the cheek loving the moment of pure love. You love the man in front of you and you couldn’t see yourself with anyone else.

Min Yoongi: ˚✧₊⁎

Yoongi mumbles to himself, tapping his finger on his coffee lid waiting patiently. Maybe he wouldn’t be set up for the 6th time but he wasn’t counting... The warm cafe that once brought memories of first love and first encounters turned quickly into first disappointments and first heartaches. Yoongi was in a relationship but he had been neglected for months now.

Months of waiting by the person that so claims they love him, but he doesn’t remember love being so cold. He had doubts of his thoughts for a whole, thinking that he was selfish for wanting more time with them. That was till the massive amounts of make up texts he recieved saying the occasion “sorry” and “i’ll make it up to you.”

Yoongi felt a hand on his hair, almost feeling his body heat up from the touch. The lovable touch that he hasn’t felt in his chest for so long. Thinking it was the famous set up of his lover he turned around to see you, standing next to his booth at the cafe looking silly before realizing that this person was not your friend you thought.

“Oh. Oh! Shit I’m sorry. Should’ve made sure it was my friend before playing with your hair.” You apologized retreating your hand to stick by your sides.

First time someone apologized to Yoongi instead of Yoongi saying sorry for the mistakes of others.

“I would say it’s common, but it’s not everyday where someone plays with my hair.”

“Oh, yeah single club sucks a bit.” The saying made Yoongi freeze, single? Was there something he was missing? Like an amount of kisses he was suppose to get, an amount of hugs, and an amount of I love you’s?

“Oh actually I have someone. They should be here soon.” Yoongi quietly said looking into your eyes seeing the look of realization.

“Oh then I should probably go then.” Before leaving you said another “sorry” waving a goodbye to sit on the other side of the cafe. Going back to the main reason of why you were here, looking at your text messages of your friend telling you they couldn’t make it. It was fine you needed alone time anyway, to do work of course.

An hour went by, your lingering eyes raised up seeing the male still alone. Not even bothering to look around anymore for his someone. You tapped your fingers on the table seeing if an idea could go well such as asking if you could seat by him. You rubbed your eyes seeing them strain from working, the bright light came back into your vision but a shadow figure was in front of you.

“Excuse me?” The same voice from earlier you recognized. Blinking a couple times seeing the male from earlier acting rather shy sitting in front of you. His backpack on the ground of his chair meaning that he wanted to stay where he was. Yoongi even brought his drink along praying that you’ll let him stay.

“I was wondering since my significant other kinda stood me up and I got tired of the pity looks of the waiter. I just thought if I could sit with you. And my name is Yoongi.” Yoongi softly says smiling at you, placing his hands on the table leaning against them. The eagerness of getting to know you maybe was showing through body language but you couldn’t notice because you couldn’t stop staring at his hands.

“Of course. No problem, my friend cancelled plans so it would be nice to have company. My name is Y/N by the way.” You cleared your throat closing your work. Focusing on the person in front of you. Wondering who he was and why did he seem unbothered by being stood up?

“So how often are you stood up?” The question took him by surprise noticing he kinda tries to slouch on his chair to hide himself. Clearly you kinda jumped the gun you frantically had to think of something to say.

“Sorry again none of my business.” Seeing Yoongi look at the door of the restaurant, no sign of them. Disappointed but he sadly wasn’t surprised they wouldn’t show.

“This is the 6th time... in a row.” His voice quietly says the last part being embarrassed that he was still with them even after being bluntly ignored like left over litter on the ground. You did a quiet “oh” not realizing that this man Yoongi was actually having problems of his own. You two talked for hours till the restaurant was going to close and a waiter reminds you two of the closing time. Last call for any drinks was made while you saw Yoongi sip on his wine giggling with you. A genuine smile was on his face that he wished could stay on forever.

“Well you could always come over. We just met but if you need someone. Call me.” Writing your number on some bright neon pink sticky note that was found in your pencil pouch. You paid your check for the restaurant. Paying for Yoongi of course not wanting to put him into finical trouble.

One night you were getting ready for bed. Standing in your bathroom yawning before brushing your teeth. You heard a loud obnoxious ringtone that you probably should have changed by now since your best friend Namjoon loves to call spam you. You answered the phone hearing a slight voice that you heard before. It was Yoongi, you looked for an shirt while holding the phone against your ear.

“It’s 11pm Yoongi what’s up?” Turning on the bright light that hurt your eyes for a bit before adjusting to the brightness. Hearing Yoongi start a sentence before ending it and then trying once again.

“You know my lover? They poofed they left a note and just left me behind. I went home after work and found all of their stuff was gone.” You could tell he struggled to tell you, although just barely friends you wanted to be there for him. The sound of a helpless heartbroken man on the other line. You couldn’t leave him like this.

The night was introduced with Yoongi, his soft hoodie with pants that seemed he just chose and put on. You let him in, the warm hot coco already made for him to comfort. Coffee seemed too late but it would’ve been perfect for him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” The silence killed you, your mind still trying to wrap around how someone could just poof out of a relationship espically with Yoongi.

“Nope just want to watch movies.. but not love movies dear god. Do you have Chainsaw Massacre?” Yoongi sat down on your couch seeing the freshly popped popcorn you made due to wanting to catch up on your tv-show.

“Of course I do.” You laid next to him, stuck in the middle of “do I leave him alone in his own space” to “should I cuddle him or is it too early?”. Your stare spoke volumes to Yoongi catching you staring at him.

“Yes you can play with my hair.” Not the answer you expected but you took what you were given. Yoongi took off his hat running a hand through his hair before laying closer to you.

“Thank you.” Yoongi cooes when you play with his hair, wanting to stay in this position forever. Not caring what was going on with his life or his head. This moment was and is forever perfect.

Jung Hoseok: ˚✧₊⁎

You were hired for your expertise, having many happy customers and clients. To you it didn’t matter how famous they were you were on the case. But those different jobs completely switched when you were hired to protect the famous boy band Bts. That’s when you met Jung Hoseok, the man that changed the stoic persona and sometimes shoving people in airports and turned you into one of the softest person in this earth.

It was probably not the best idea to get together with a client but you couldn’t help when at the end of your shifts Hoseok would give you a present wether it was your favorite food or a teddy bear you accepted them. Days spent with you two shamelessly flirting till one day you asked him out in the middle of an airport waiting for security to clear them through... probably not the most romantic setting but he said yes in an instant.

Today was a big deal because they were coming back to Korea which means media will probably be all over them and knowing Hoseok he likes to put on a smile and show army’s that he loves them but it could be overwhelming fast.

“Are you going to be okay?” You asked sitting next to him in your all black outfit on the plane about to set down at the airport. You prepared your walkie-talkie to talk to the other security guards on your belt, silencing it so it could be quiet with you and Hoseok.

“I’ll be fine honey.” Hoseok likes to call you honey even if it sounds like you two were 90 you wouldn’t have anyone else tell you that.

“And if anything happens I know my ninja will save me.” Pinching your cheeks making you close your eyes with content.

“I didn’t chose the outfit I would have a bulletproof vest and those colorful halloween costumes.”

“Yeah because that screams security.” Hoseok chuckles resting his head on your shoulder wanting to get some alone time with you before chaos.

The time has come and time to show your “protect sunshine at all cost and his wonderful friends” mode was on. You were known on twitter for being one of the scarier but good looking guards. Many times you don’t have to use force to move the fans you can just give them a stare and they would kinda lean off.

Of course Hoseok never well seen it because he was too busy with army’s and waving at them, sending hearts to them. While you on the other hand was in a battlefield trying to keep them not too close where personal space was invaded.

The hard part was done, the flashing lights, the screaming, and the sometimes shoving was set and done for now till the next couple months. Driving in the dark vans that just scream “a famous person is probably in here” but the technology of tinted windows no one finds out it’s Jung Hoseok they are passing by. Holding hands with Hoseok because you were the giant softie. Caressing the back of his hand with your thumb.

“What does it say here? ScaryBtsSecurity is apparently trending everywhere?” Hoseok announces from the back seat you tempted to turn around and see who they are talking about.

“Honey, they are talking about you?” Hoseok was actually confused but seeing the photos, man did you look scary like you eat metal for breakfast scary. Hoseok looks at the photo and back to you seeing actually two different men.

“My giant softie?! Scary?” Hoseok chuckles switching seats to right behind you putting his hand over your shoulders through the spaces of the seat. Whining you tell him to not distract you from the road.

“If they knew.” Hoseok chuckles switching back to the middle seat seeing you trying to find his hand once again.

“Not soft!” You say wishing he was in the front seat instead of the back, but protection was more important than you touching his hair so you’ll just have to wait till you get home.

“So scary! You have no mercy!”

Arriving at Hoseok’s home you were excited because you had never seen his house before. It was a home that screamed Hoseok, the small plants in the front provided by Namjoon. The swinging chair that was painted by himself. The kitchen seems clutterful but just the right amount you can still find everything.

“My home!” Hoseok holds your hand while showing around the place. The photos of you two haven’t been hung up because you two got together during the tour so he couldn’t get them up.

The night came and most of the day was spent you helping him unpack and sorting out his clothes. He cooked one of his favorite meals for you to try while you stared at the wonderful man in front of you. When he ran his hands through his hair because it got in his face or when he tastes the food humming in satisfaction.

“So what is in your wardrobe?” Hoseok asks while you eat the perfectly home made meal. You choking on the food, never wanting Hoseok to ask that question.

“It’s all black.”

“You’re not serious-” The stare you gave him back was confirmation you are 100% serious.

“What do you sleep in? What if you want to go out? You just always look like a security guard?” Obviously there was things that you two needed to learn about each other but you were happy to explain.

“Well I don’t go out unless you guys do. I help with concerts and such so I’m basically everywhere you guys are.”

“I thought you just went to every concert to support.”

“I would go to every concert even if I didn’t have to and you know that.” Pouting because why would Hoseok ever think you didn’t enjoy him or his passion for music and the band. Hoseok disappeared into the stairscase of his home leaving you with your now cold meal.

“Here! No black and all security Y/N! I want to know the real soft honeybun you are.” Hoseok lifts up the Mang bt21 throwing it at you. He was already in his own matching with you if you decided to wear it.

“If I wear this, I get to play with your hair as much as I want.”

“And you get to hold my hand.” Hoseok shows off his hand no longer with rings but just his natural hands. You sent him a smile picking up the pajamas off the ground.

“You have a deal!”

Park Jimin: ˚✧₊⁎

It was time for you to hang out with Jimin for once in a while. The date or the outing was planned days ahead wanting to be perfect and no plans to be intrupted or ones that could go wrong. Jimin looked in the mirror fixing his hair before putting a pair of sunglasses on. He heard knocking seeing you peek on him getting ready.

“You look stunning.” Softly said as you caressed his arm seeing him blush with the compliment. Jimin poked out his tongue when you so “fixed” his hair. He complained that it looked good already.

“There was just a strand out of place.” You pouted seeing Jimin look back into the mirror closely trying to find anymore strands that were not in place.

You two walked to frozen yogurt, Jimin admiring the small moments when he isn’t shoved into cameras or the spotlight. Where he could just act natural with his delightful boyfriend. Frozen yogurt was your idea even if Jimin at first wasn’t fond of it but with a little convincing he was sold.

Walking in the bright colorful store smelling the scent of the different flavors and the toppings, hearing the pop music slightly in the background. You grabbed the size you wanted to fill with the sugary delight of the frozen snack. Jimin following right behind you sampling the flavors ranging from red velvet to the classic vanilla. Smiling at him you got your go to flavors before adding your favorite toppings. Sitting down across from Jimin. You started gobbling the frozen treat but stopped almost immediately when you heard a whine from him.

“I want to take a photo.” Jimin pulls out his phone and you couldn’t help but chuckle placing your plastic spoon back into the cup and shuffling it closer to Jimin’s cup.

“Are you done?” Grabbing the spoon licking the frozen yogurt you took back your treat. Snickering you saw Jimin stick out his tongue.

Jimin’s hair was one of your favorite things about him. The softness of it and the different colors of it always fits him. I don’t think there is a bad hair color on your lovely boyfriend. It was soft and divine always being the softest. Going to bed? You played with his hair even if he complained about you messing it up he always secretly loves it. So of course you take every opportunity to touch his hair or every excuse in the book, going through it all before Jimin stopped believing you sometimes.

You moved his hair from his eyes since he looked down eating his frozen yogurt, Jimin sending you a smile before secretly taking a scoop of your ice cream. Chuckling seeing your widen eyes when he placed it in his mouth doing an exaggerated moan.

“There was dust in your hair.” Ruffling his hair Jimin put his head down just accepting the teasing giggling at your excuse.

“No there wasn’t.” Jimin feels a bit of frozen yogurt on his lips, licking his lips from the melted cream residue. You kissed him across the table having your hand behind his head pressing your lips to his.

“Let’s go.” Jimin suggests separating from the kiss first. Scooping the last amount of frozen yogurt so he could throw away the bowl.

You pulled out the list of places to go while Jimin looked around the glowing city, smiling while he sees cute merchandise on the displays of stores even if he wanted to buy it he knew he had no use for it really.

“How about a park?” Jimin turns to you, his beautiful hair flowing due to the wind. He looked gorgeous and you found yourself dumb founded for a bit till Jimin snapped in front of your face.

“Sounds great.”

The day was still bright and the park had some people in it but not too much that either of you felt uncomfortable to the point of being paranoid if one of them knew it was Jimin. The natural breeze felt nice to the touch and the skies were clear.

“Do you want to take a photo together?” You asked seeing that your profile was lacking you and Jimin. You wanted to show him off to your friends because he was absolutely amazing and downright specular.

“Of course, always picture ready for you.” Jimin wraps his hand around your neck pulling you closer to him feeling his body heat.

You brushed your hand his hair, him looking up at your hand wondering what you were doing. Moving some strands of hair before clicking your tongue happy with the look.

“Just wanted to style it before the photo.” Jimin raises his eyebrow at your excuse of touching his hair. You raised your shoulders trying to push the excuse.

“You know you should be my hair stylist.”

“Really?”

“Yeah because you touch my hair more then they do.” Teasing you was Jimin’s speciality but you know it’s all in good fun because you always got him back with tickles or kisses which made him blush and laugh uncontrollably.

You were about to kiss him and attack him seeing Jimin was already ready for the attack reaching out his hands to stop the attack but you’ve heard a buzz near his hair causing you to stop in your tracks.

“What is it?” Jimin asks walking closer to you while you took the same amount of steps back. Crossing his arms he wondered what was going on with you.

“Jimin there’s a bee in your hair.” The bee flew around Jimin’s head before landing on the top of his fluffy hair. Pointing at it Jimin shook his hand around his hair but he didn’t see no bee.

“No there isn’t you just want to touch my hair, darling if you wanted to touch it you can just tell me—” Jimin stops mid sentence when he heard the familiar buzz in his ear standing completely still almost like a rock.

“There really is a bee isn’t there.” Jimin’s fear in his voice rises when you slowly nod. It took every bit of his gut to not start running around.

“Oh god!” He heard it in his ear once again starting to run now. It was his life or the bee’s and he has a will to live that’s for damn sure. You couldn’t help but laugh at your boyfriend running around while a small creature that probably means no harm is chasing after him. Hell he is Park Jimin, even a bee knows beauty.

Kim Taehyung: ˚✧₊⁎

Taehyung and you sitting at the science laboratory for a school project. Being the two nerds you were Taehyung decided to work on it during a weekend. The mixture substance that you two had to create for a final exam sort of thing. Present it to the class, pretend like you know what you are talking about, and get an A. The board of education about the substance half of it was bullshit you put on the board to fill up space and the other half was actual evidence enough that you were confident that you could get an A.

“Okay but we don’t want the details to fall off let’s use heavy duty glue.” Taehyung suggests grabbing the glue that definitely says “stupid people do not use.” all over it. Taehyung getting some on his hand but not giving another thought thinking he’ll just clean it later.

You helping him glue them also getting the sticky stuff on your hands but honestly you didn’t realize till the project was finished. You standing behind to see it all of its glory. The images of the formula and the iconic “By: L/N Y/N and Kim Taehyung.” on the front bold and clear for everyone to see.

You highfived Taehyung about to let go but you couldn’t. You turned to look at the hand seeing he was holding your hand, the visible sign of struggle when he also looks at you. Your eyes landed on the extreme glue and back to Taehyung.

“No...no no no no.” Taehyung frantically says running towards the glue dragging you along. You yelp out to remind him you’re stuck with him quite literally!

“Taehyung! I’m still stuck to you.” The palms of your hands were stuck to his so you decided the most comfortable way was to just hold his hand. Plus you two wouldn’t want to walk out with your palms stick together that would have looked weird.

“How do we get this off? Are they going to need to chop it off? It’s my writing hand!” Taehyung tried to grab his phone from the desk. Grabbing it in his non-dominant hand was another struggle. Typing at the google search of how to take it off, but the stupid signal was horrible at school. The system decides that it would be a bright idea to have poor reception to have the kids focus more on school.

Hoseok heard a door ring than heard slamming on his door, groaning as he got up from the couch the comfortable position ruined once he got up. Eating a quick chip before opening the door seeing you two. You are Hoseok’s best friend and also wingman you like to say on many days. Taehyung on the other hand had little to no clue who was Hoseok thinking that maybe he saw him from a english class?

“Oh you two are dating? Congratulations.” Hoseok stuffed his mouth with another chip whipping off the crumbs on his shirt. Only you and Taehyung would be working on a project on the weekend so the helpful list was short.

“We are not dating, we are stuck together.” Taehyung raised the hands. Hoseok well not taking you two seriously pulling at your hand to let go before you yelled out of pain.

“Oh— You two are serious.” Hoseok pulled Taehyung’s arm to come inside his house pulling you with him. Hoseok grabbing his phone searching up how to get rid of glue from skin while you and Taehyung sat down awkward distance away from eachother.

“Here you’ll need to go to nearby store. Since my car is broken down you’ll need to walk.” Hoseok passed you a list trusting you more than Taehyung. You nodded walking out the door holding hands with Taehyung.

“Let’s hope we don’t see anyone from school.” Taehyung whispers in your ear, you looked at your phone seeing the walk there was rather far so you plugged in your earphones disregarding Taehyung.

“You aren’t going to share?”

“Huh?” You unplugged your earphone seeing Taehyung sigh.

“I said “You aren’t going to share?” Taehyung pointed at your earphone feeling left out and just seeing two people holding hands but completely ignoring eachother would be seen as odd.

You surrendered passing your earphone to him, playing the music once again seeing Taehyung bob his head to the beat making you smile a little seeing someone enjoying your music taste. You held his hand tighter getting used to his soft hand rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand.

The actual store was filled of “Are you two dating?” it ended up with you and Taehyung trying to come up with a sensible answer that didn’t embarrass you two. It was also filled with Taehyung picking snacks on the way to the supplies, stopping at almost every colorful candy packaging and cookies that were all different types of flavors.

“Here it is!” You grabbed the supply shaking it a little. Taehyung gave you a thumbs up for the success of your eye. The rest of the items were found in a short amount of time.

“So why are you taking this class again?” You asked grabbing some snacks on the way since the walk is rather long. You two didn’t have money for a bus pass and the money you spent on the supplies were provided by Hoseok.

“I heard it was a good way to see your study skills are up to par and if I want to take much more advanced classes might as well work my way up. If I work hard enough I can help more and more people.” Taehyung snacks on the chips, you holding the bag while he basically feeds you. At first you two were awkward crimson blush rising on Taehyung’s cheeks when he fed the chips to you.

“That’s nice. Just make sure you don’t overwork yourself. You’re kind Taehyung, the world needs more of you.”

“Well thanks Y/N. You’re not too bad yourself.” Taehyung sways your held hands still sharing your earbuds, smiling when his favorite song comes on.

“You hear this? Holy shit I’ve been waiting to meet a fan so I could take them to a concert.” The time stops when you two stare at eachother’s eyes seeing them glimmer. Taehyung couldn’t take his eyes off you but he felt his face heat up looking back on the ground.

“I’m sure we can go sometime.”

“Is that a date?” He couldn’t believe his ears. You were good looking to Taehyung and you seemed to be smart and kind so maybe it could work out. Taehyung wanted to find out.

“I don’t know, is it?” You raised a eyebrow walking up the steps of Hoseok’s house throwing Hoseok the supplies to get the sticky love hands away. While Taehyung dreaded the moment your hand lets go of his, placing his thumb against his palm longing for your hand.

Jeon Jungkook: ˚✧₊⁎

Jungkook felt his heart race, speed walking pass all the crowds of people he thought were good. Jungkook pushing through people getting glares he couldn’t care less though because all he wanted was to go see his demon boyfriend on the other side of the realm. Plugging in his earphones to distract his running thoughts of the beytral.

Jungkook learned that elves were never the so kind and genius people that just wanted peace. They got their peace all right but by blood shed and cries of lives taken away from the demons. To learn that your kind is a complete lie made Jungkook want to run, run so far away from this house of elves but running away from your own loyal house was known as crime and who even knows that dating you a demon that they were going to let him off easy.

Jungkook basically slammed on your door wanting you to hug him, run your hand through his hair that you always do no matter how much he claims to not love it. He’s always loved it and he’s yearns for it when you two are seperate. He heard the door open seeing you almost jumping on you, he wasn’t suppose to look at that, he wasn’t suppose to hear what his so called leaders were talking about, and he wasn’t suppose to have such a responsible of knowledge on his shoulders.

You had no idea why Jungkook was basically hugging you like it would be the last one. You rubbed his back seeing him slowly break apart from the hug seeing his eyes flutter him trying to form a sentence.

“Here we should go inside.” You pulled him into your house, it wasn’t the best but it felt homey and that is why Jungkook spent more time at your house then his. His felt forced like the drawings when he was little that his mother forced him to make even if he didn’t want to or the forced pressure of all of his older brothers awards clear on display to remind Jungkook that he needs succeed or else he’ll be a failure to his family.

“Everyone just lied to me. Everyone pretended we were the good guys.” Jungkook whispers out when he entered your home making sure you closed the door behind him.

“Koo what are you talking about?” Your thoughts ran seeing Jungkook so worried so all over the place. You tried to reach out to him placing a hand on his shoulder but he basically shivered up like a cold rush ran through his body.

“I heard something I shouldn’t have. I learned the real reason why elf’s are where they are now. I learned the truth and it can possibly kill me. Elf’s were never the so beautiful and elegant creatures everything thinks. We killed your kind for fun. We— We never needed a war but we started it anyway.” His eyes piercing through yours, you could see it in his eyes that he wasn’t lying, yes Jungkook was known to sneak around and let curiously get the best of him but now? Curiosity could get him killed.

“Koo it’s fine.” You tried to reason with him, to keep his mind at bay for an hour or at least a minute but that only made him erupt more. Jungkook wasn’t mad at you at all. He was mad at himself of how could he just believe something so idiotically.

“No it isn’t! Every bad thing that happens, demons are blamed for! A elf getting caught? He’ll just say “A demon made me do it!” and everyone defends that elf blindly.” Before Jungkook could start crying, his voice become bitter you pulled him into a hug once again. Hearing him sniff into your chest knowing that history of the kinds, you two were different and you never want to let your kind get in between him and you.

“Thank you for everything.” Jungkook voice comes out muffled but you could tell how genuine he was. You held his hand when he separated from the hug. Smiling at him, you hoped that even if he was taken away from you. You would always run through his mind.

“If you want to run away, from everything. I will go with you in a heartbeat you know that right? You know how much I love you?” Placing a kiss on his forehead wanting to a see a smile from Jungkook even if it was just a small smile. You would take anything to see Jungkook get better.

“I know I just... should I do something? Leave an anonymous article about the truth? So the realm could understand? The wolves, the fairies, the demons, and the humans? Should I do something?” Jungkook said placing his hands on your chest looking up at you. His ears twitching as like when he was confused expect this wasn’t a math problem. This was something that could ruin kingdoms or worst destroy them.

“When you’re ready. I’ll be here with you, by your side. You know what to do Jungkook.” The heart racing at some point you could see Jungkook’s eyes sparkle. You pressed your lips against his seeing his elf ears go red and your demon horns warming up from the love you two have.

“Now let’s go cuddle and let me hold your hand.” Dragging him by his hand you let him lay on your chest his face humming when you ran your hand through his hair. The favorite position fit like you two were meant to be.

“No one will seperate us. I love you for you not because you’re an elf or your status. I love you Jeon Jungkook.” You meant every word wanting to comfort Jungkook even when he didn’t show he was anxious you could sense it, almost like your soul was connected with his.

A/N: finally USED THAT ONE YOONGI GIF!! that’s all... that’s the authors note.

[sml8180]

Long Overdue Upgrades

This turned out WAY longer than I intended, and I have no regrets. Have some Cyborg!Eric, courtesy of a friend on one of the Discord servers I’m a part of.

Also, just a heads up for some medical unpleasantness, seeing as topics such as surgery are brought up.

Long Overdue Upgrades

One of the first things Google, Bing, and the extensions had noticed when they first met Eric Derekson was the fact that he had two prosthetic legs. Over time, they came to learn that he had lost his legs in the same crash that had snuffed out the lives of his brothers. It became clear early on that the prosthetics were on the cheap end, and likely weren’t fitted properly, going by how great of a parent Derek was. So, the androids all came together and got to work, even bringing Dr. Iplier and Dr. Schneeplestein into their plan.

It took them weeks of working practically non-stop, with all hands on deck. The work was frustrating, but it started to pay off when things finally started to come together and function properly. Every time the androids saw Eric walking around the manor, in the living area on the couch, or in Dr. Iplier’s office, likely dealing with the lingering phantom pain in his legs or the complications resulting from years of wearing ill-fitting prosthetics, it only served to act as fuel to their fire.

Finally, the androids all finished their work, and Bing went to find Eric while Dr. Iplier called Dr. Schneeplestein to come and lend an extra set of hands.

“Hey, little dude,” Bing addressed, finding Eric reading a book in the living area.

“Hm?” Eric hummed in question, looking up from his book towards the android. “What’s up, Bing?”

“I’ve got something to show you, come on,” Bing answered, hardly waiting for Eric to mark his page before he was starting to practically pull him along by the hand.

Eric allowed the android to lead him to the office he shared with Google and his extensions. He shut his eyes when they got to the door, as Bing requested it of him, and let the older Ego usher him inside with his hands on his shoulders. The younger Ego could hear some shuffling and whispers, though he couldn’t tell how many people were in the room.

“Okay, kid, open your eyes,” Bing requested. As Eric did as he was instructed, he let out a gasp, covering his mouth with his hand as he spotted Google, the extensions, Dr. Iplier, and Dr. Schneeplestein all standing by one of the work tables, upon which sat a pair of white lower legs. It was clear to him what exactly they were for.

“You guys… You m-made me new legs?” Eric stammered in disbelief, stepping forward to run his fingertips over the smooth surface of one of the legs.

“We did,” Google piped up. “You deserve far better than the cheap prosthetics your father provided to you. This set is one of a kind, made with similar materials and technology that makes up Bing, the extensions, and myself.”

“Ja!” Henrik interjected. “You vill have full natural mobility, and even be able to feel changes in temperature and touch, should all go according to plan.”

“A-according to plan?”

“Well, with how advanced these are,” Dr. Iplier began, “You will need to go through an operation for things to work properly. There is a set of cuffs that connect to the top portions of the legs, which will allow for sensation and natural movement. In theory, this could also help to manage your PLP.”

“Y-you really think s-s-so?” Eric was practically vibrating with excitement, at this point, especially as Dr. Iplier nodded in response to his question. “Um… What will the surgery involve…?”

Dr. Iplier picked up his tablet, which had been sitting on the table, and came over to Eric with it, tapping at the screen, with Henrik following behind him. “Basically, we’ll be going in and exposing the main nerve endings, neatening up the stump and smoothing the bone out a bit,” Dr. Iplier explained.

“From there,” Henrik jumped in, “Ve vill be making the primary connections between your nerves and the connecting cuffs. Once all connections are made, ze cuffs vill be set in place vith a handful of plates and screws, and your legs vill be wrapped up to heal.”

“It’ll take some time before you’ll be up and walking, but it’ll be worth it,” Dr. Iplier added.

“Okay… When will we do it…?”

“Well, Dark can easily arrange things so you have time off, seeing as you work for Wil and the twins. If you really wanted, we could go through with it tomorrow, so long as you think you can fast tonight,” Dr Iplier answered.

“I’d like that,” Eric confirmed, giving the doctor a little smile.

The rest of the day seemed to go by in a blurr for Eric, joy and excitement filling his heart. Night seemed to come quickly, and it went by just as fast. Soon, Eric was being lead to Dr. Iplier’s office within the manor by the doctor himself. He changed into a hospital gown and lay on the bed, while Dr. Iplier took his vitals. Google came in during this time, bringing the connecting cuffs for Eric’s legs with him, with Red and Green following him, and Henrik arrived not long after, speaking in a rapid-fire mix of English, German, and medical jargon with Dr. Iplier as he set aside his coat and got ready to scrub up for the operation.

“Alright, Eric,” Dr. Iplier addressed as he finished getting the IV into the young Ego’s arm. “I’m going to put the oxygen mask on you, and then I want you to count backwards from 50 for me. You don’t have to count out loud, I just want you to do it.”

“Okay,” Eric confirmed, lifting his head a bit and letting Dr. Iplier put the mask over his nose and mouth, starting to count backwards as he let his head rest on the pillow again.

50… 49… 48…

He was starting to feel tired, now, like he’d had a long day at work.

47… 46… 45… 

His eyelids were starting to feel heavy, and his head was cloudy.

44… 43…

He was out cold.

The doctors, Google, Red, and Green were able to get to work. Green kept an eye on Eric’s vital signs as the others did what they needed to do. Red and Google make sure that the doctors had whatever they needed when they needed it, and the two doctors worked on Eric’s legs. They worked for hours, neatening up the ends of Eric’s natural legs, getting the framework needed to fix the cuffs in place where it needed to be, smoothing out the end of the bone. Once one leg was ready for the cuff, the doctors shifted positions, letting Google work on getting the cuff connected how it needed to be - he was more precise than any doctor could ever be, after all - and began to work on Eric’s other leg. Dr. Iplier followed Henrik’s lead when it came to the operation, seeing as he was the surgeon in the room. By late afternoon, they had finally finished, and wrapped up Eric’s legs so that he could recover.

When Eric woke up, it felt like he was waking up from a long nap. He blinked, groaning softly as he tried to recall where he was.

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” he heard a soft voice joke, followed by a quiet chuckle. Eric looked to his right, and smiled tiredly as he spotted Illinois by his side.

“Hey…” came his own soft reply, as he was still waking up.

Illinois smiled, lightly petting Eric’s hair. “Doc and Henrik say things went smoothly; Henrik said that this might’ve been the smoothest operation he’s done in a while.”

“That’s good,” Eric responded with a giggle.

Dr. Iplier approached the bed, hearing Illinois and Eric speaking. “Hey, there he is, awake and alert.”

“Hm…?”

“Well, awake, at least,” the doctor chuckled. He checked over a few things on the monitor beside Eric, and nodded to himself. “Everything’s stable. How’re you feeling, Eric?”

“Tired, kinda, um, kinda sore…” Eric muttered. His words were followed by a rumble coming from his stomach. “And hungry…”

“I’ll get you some soup or something, okay?” Illinois offered. With a nod from Eric, he placed a kiss on the tired Ego’s forehead and went to get him some food.

“Let’s sit you up,” Dr. Iplier dictated, helping Eric to sit up, propped up by a couple of pillows. “I think things are going to work out just fine, kid.”

Weeks went by with Eric recovering from the operation. He was sore and tired for the first three weeks or so, as Dr. Iplier kept him on painkillers, which he slowly weaned off of. Each time Dr. Iplier checked his legs, they seemed to be looking better and better. Illinois helped however he could; all the Egos did, really. Eric didn’t mind the time the healing process took - though he occasionally gave a small protest towards the others fussing over him - it was all leading up to the day he’d be able to start learning to walk with his new legs.

Finally, finally, Dr. Iplier and Dr. Schneeplestein gave Eric the green light to work with Google, Bing, and the extensions in order to get back on his feet. Illinois brought him to the Google office, carrying him in his arms (mostly just because Eric had asked him to, and he enjoyed carrying Eric, anyways), and the pair were greeted by Bing, who quickly ushered them inside. He had Illinois set Eric down on the surface of one of the work tables, and looked over the site where Eric’s legs met the cuffs.

“Okay, so, Doc gave us the green light to go ahead, this looks way better than we’d expected, and now is the time to get hyped,” Bing rambled, looking over Eric’s legs.

“What is going to happen,” Google interjected, cutting off Bing’s quick rambling. “Is that we’re going to connect the legs in two stages. First the primary connection, which is intended to keep the prosthetics in place and allow for movement, then the nerve connections, which will allow signals from the sensors to be transmitted to the brain,” he informed the younger Ego, watching as he nodded. “I will warn you now, Eric, that the nerve connection process will most likely be extremely painful. That is part of why we are doing this now, while Dr. Iplier still has you on some dosage of painkillers.”

“There… There isn’t another way…?” Eric questioned, wringing his yellow handkerchief in his hands.

“Not if you want to have any feeling in your legs,” Google answered bluntly. “The pain won’t last for long, if our calculations are correct.”

“Yeah!” Oliver chimed in, his chipper voice cutting off the level, serious drone of the main unit. “If we’re right, you’ll have a spike of pain right when we do it, but then it’ll dull down after a moment. It might be annoying for a bit, but that’ll mostly just be your body adjusting to everything.”

“O-okay…” Eric confirmed, taking a slow breath to try to steady his thoughts.

“You ready, little dude?” Bing asked, setting a hand on Eric’s shoulder.

“As I’ll ever be…” Eric answered.

The androids made quick work of making the primary connections, making sure to have Eric test the mobility of the ankle and toe joints as they went. Bing then moved behind him, resting one hand on the younger Ego’s left shoulder, taking hold of his left hand. Illinois took up a similar position on Eric’s right, while Green and Oliver positioned themselves at his legs to prevent any movement while Google and Red got ready to make the nerve connections.

“This is the part where it’s going to hurt, Eric,” Google informed him. “Brace yourself; we’ll connect both of them on the count of three.”

“Okay…” Eric responded, taking a deep breath as he turned his head towards Illinois, doing his best to brace himself for what he knew was going to happen.

“One… Two… Three!”

Eric couldn’t tell who had made the count. All he knew was that it hurt like Hell when the nerve connections were made. He let out a yell - practically screaming - as he tightly gripped Illinois and Oliver’s hands, tears welling up in his eyes and slipping down his cheeks. The connection burned and stung and felt like pins and needles in the worst way. It seemed to last for ages before he finally began to pull himself together, breathing heavily and paying no mind to the tears still rolling down his cheeks.

“It’s okay, you’re okay…” Eric could hear Illinois whispering reassurances in his ear, and he could feel the man rubbing his back.

“Connection complete, went off without a hitch,” Red stated, making a couple of notes for future reference.

“We will have to wait a couple of days for your body to adjust to the connection,” Google told Eric. “Then we’ll be able to make the adjustments so that you can feel things properly and possibly start walking again. For now, though, you should get some rest.”

That was all Eric needed to hear as he felt Illinois pick him up and carry him out of the office. The man was asleep before he was even set on his bed.

The next couple of days brought slow relief to Eric’s pain. His nerves were starting to calm, and though he was still sore, he was in far less pain than he was originally. He was feeling better with each passing day, and it only served to improve his mood even further. A couple of weeks went by of Eric continuing to recover, slowly making progress as he got used to having actual feeling in his legs for the first time in so long. 

“You’ve been making great progress, dude,” Bing praised, ruffling Eric’s hair as the younger Ego sat in the Google office. “Think you’re ready to try walking on your own?”

“I think so,” Eric nodded. He’d been looking forward to walking without any sort of support from crutches or a cane or another person since this all started.

“We’ll help you down, then,” Oliver offered, coming to Eric’s left, while Bing shifted to his right.

“What’re you all up to in here?” Illinois questioned, coming to the doorway of the office.

“You’ll see in a minute! Stay there!” Eric excitedly told Illi, as Oliver and Bing helped him down from his spot on the table.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stay here,” Illi chuckled, leaning against the doorframe.

Eric stood upright, getting his balance before taking a hesitant step forward. Another step, this time a bit more certain, drew forth a fit of happy giggles from him, and he made his way towards Illinois. The adventurer straightened up, beaming as Eric walked towards him; it was the first time he’d walked without support since his operation was done. He caught Eric when he stumbled on the last step towards him, lifting him up in a hug and kissing him, beaming.

Google and Bing watched the pair, unable to hide their own smiles as they did. It seemed they had done well, and Eric’s life would only get even better as time went on, thanks to these long overdue upgrades.

[lasercruz]

@quarterdollar​ fuck you and im sorry that i took so long to answer and i hope that im mostly coherent because i am. very tired as im typing this

1: Full name Nicky Jackie Marie Cruz !!

2: Age 21

3: 3 Fears Mold, tall heights if I’m not secured (like, I’m not scared of rollercoaster heights but I’m scared of like, cliffs), and balloons esp balloon animals

4: 3 things I love I love so many things uhh hh h. Jjba, adventure zone, and my friendssss 💞

I know turn ons/offs aren’t inherently sexual but i never know what to say for them so im skipping them :0

7: My best friend you 🥺🥺

8: Sexual orientation bi

9: My best first date ive never really been on a actual date :0

10: How tall am I 5′3

11: What do I miss being with my friends physically and just watching stuff or goofing around on the floor 😭

12: What time were I born 11:02pm

13: Favourite color Dark blues

14: Do I have a crush yes shh

15: Favourite quote there so much sappy quotes that are on uquizzes a lot that i like a lot the first that comes to mind is “ You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.” and so on and also “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more”

16: Favourite place As far as just physically and not like people or other stuff that comes with with a place, I miss VT campus a lot tbh more than I thought I would. To pick a more specific place, the gazebo at the duck pond cause its where I’d go if I wanted to be alone or like if my roommate was sleeping or working and i didnt want to worry about being quite and it was always super peaceful

17: Favourite food I dont really have One favorite food it just depends what I’m in the mood for but my go to answer for favorite food category wise is either chinese or seafood

18: Do I use sarcasm Depends who I’m with ?? Generally no not often but if im close with someone and just goofin yeah

19: What am I listening to right now My love song playlist. its my go to thing to listen to cause my playlist with all my music has so much on it that i end up skipping half the songs until i find something im in the mood for and this one has a lot less that i end up skipping. the current song its on is day without you by keep for cheap

20: First thing I notice in new person It depends on the person like if they have something that stands out about them, thats what I tend to notice but like. How they carry themself i guess ? cause i feel like thats a easy way to get a read on somebody before talking to them

21: Shoe size 5 mens / 7 womans

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Naturally dark brown but currently dyed black with rainbow bangs

24: Favourite style of clothing this question is on so many ask games and quizzes and I never know how to answer it cause i feel like i dont really have one specific style,, I like colorful and fun stuff i guess ?

25: Ever done a prank call?  No and if you prank call a place of business youre annoying. i used to answer phones at work and we didn’t get them super often but GOD i hate prank callers

27: Meaning behind my URL emu is an old nickname and what i mainly went by until i settled on Nicky and this. is my blog.

28: Favourite movie Baby driver !!

29: Favourite song my go to answer for this is community gardens by the scary jokes

30: Favourite band THE SCARY JOKES

31: How I feel right now sleeby,,,,

32: Someone I love i love , my friendz ,, 🥺🥰

33: My current relationship status single ✌️

34: My relationship with my parents im close to my mom but i dont really get along with my dad ,

35: Favourite holiday Christmas !

36: Tattoos and piercing i have no tattoos, 3 piercings in each ear (2 on each earlobe and 1 on the top on each side)

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I want a interrobang on my wrist and an Aquarius symbol on my ankle and MAYBE the joestar birthmark, i wouldn’t mind more ear piercings and i want a septum piercing but ive seen videos of them getting done and they make me squirm i dont know if id go through with it

38: The reason I joined Tumblr sdklgkjgh i had a my little pony roleplay blog before i made my personal account

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we’re good friends !!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? no not regularly at least

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? no

42: When did I last hold hands? my mom tried to hold my hand when i was half asleep on the couch the other day but like i was so out of it so like it was more our fingers together and the rest of my hand just loosely dangling so if that doesnt count, you

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? i give myself about 2 hours if im doing full makeup but thats purposefully longer than i need so i dont have to worry about rushing and i can relax and take my time

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i only shave them if they’re gonna be showing or if the Urge to be Smooth comes over me

45: Where am I right now? my room at home on my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? probably Kaylie cause she doesn’t drink and i assume if im drunk with other friends there she’d be the only sober one

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable, if i have it too loud i cant think so the only time i  have my music loud is if im doing nothing and want to Not Think

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Ye

49: Am I excited for anything? short term im excited for the ai crushes all banks stream tonight and long term im excited to move into our apartment 

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? no im not a tell everything to someone type of person .

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? i smile most of the time like, at work (before we wore masks) id always be smiling to look nice and like. just in general if i want to Not Look Unhappy or whatever

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? my mom probably like, yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? ive never kissed any1     .

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?  nope i don’t think i really trust easily so like this doesnt rlly happen,

55: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up late cause i was up late last night so ive been tired all day I dont like the feeling

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? language barriers aside itd be super cool to meet hirohiko araki

57: What do I think about most? Whatever media im currently most into so right now adventure zone and magnus archives

58: What’s my strangest talent? umm i dunno im kinda flexable i guess ? not like ~contortionist~ level but like enough that i can freak people out sometimes

59: Do I have any strange phobias? i mentioned balloons as a fear in an eariler question so yeah that but im a lot better about it than i used to be

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? in front tbh

61: What was the last lie I told? i was on phones for the last hour and a half of my shift on friday and like. when people call and ask if an item is in stock and i can’t confirm it i, just tell them its not. like, someone asked if we had a specific kayak and i usually just search the walmart app or run over to where itd be to check but the kayaks are to far for me to run to and the app said limited stock which usually means little to none so , i just put it on hold for a bit then tell him we’re out.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i like video chatting in theory cause its nice to see people visibly react to stuff but i tend to get too self conscious about how i look so i  just do audio only

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both !! i am both

64: Do I believe in magic? yes in some ways i suppose

65: Do I believe in luck? yes im v superstitious

66: What’s the weather like right now? its a pretty good day its sunny but not too hot :oo

67: What was the last book I’ve read? its been ages since i last read a book in full 😔  i honestly dont knwo what the last one would of been 😔 😔

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes !!! love it

69: Do I have any nicknames? not anything i get consistently called no

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? ive never gotten super hurt that i can think of ??

71: Do I spend money or save it? save it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? doppio bean plush ,,,,

74: Favourite animal? hedgehogs!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? on my phone probably on tiktok or something waiting for jojo to come on toonami

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I? dont think he has one i guess ??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? butterflies by samsa but it makes me happy in the “im crying now” kinda way itss cute

78: How can you win my heart? just by being nice and respectful tbh ,

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? idk i dont really want anything fancy just my name (chosen name please god im so scared of dying and geting my birth name on my tombstone if that happens i WILL come back as a vengeful ghost) and my birth and death dates

80: What is my favorite word? saccharine

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr by my tumblr crushes (which its been YEARS since i looked at) ; frostios, 27names4tears, smollpurrito, happynaru, and warpedlamp

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? if we being real id just get so scared dsjkfsldjglg  theres so much i could say i dont know :((

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? not ? that i know of 

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? why are all the questions worded super basic except this one skdlskdjfj. Shape shifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i can really think of anything really as long as a friend is asking i tend to answer truthfully ?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Sobble BUT this reminded me that i wanted to change it to a xenoblade pic so its this now :

90: Failed a class? no

91: Kissed a boy? no

92: Kissed a girl? no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no but oh god just thinking about that im 🥺🥺🥺🥺 id die id melt 🥺🥺

94: Had job? ye i was a cashier for a year in highschool and then i work in wamlart apparel in the summers

95: Left the house without my wallet? not when I know ill need it no, but ive left it home if im just going to a friend or family member’s house or i have my mom’s card or some cash in my pocket

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no !!

98: Played on a sports team? no lmao i dont do sports

99: Smoked weed? no

100: Did drugs? i had a weed brownie like once but it was such a small piece i didnt really feel anything

101: Smoked cigarettes? no

102: Drank alcohol? Ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? not currently i was vegan for a little bit to encourage a friend that was doing it though

104: Been overweight? no

105: Been underweight? no

106: Been to a wedding?  yes three, my grandma’s when she got remarried, and both my brothers

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably yes lmao often

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? not TV TV but if netflix and the like count then yes

109: Been outside my home country? no :(

110: Gotten my heart broken? not ? really no

111: Been to a professional sports game? ive been to a handful of Yankee games

112: Broken a bone? no

114: Been to prom? yes i went to my highschool’s and a friend’s highschool’s my senior year

115: Been in airplane? no

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none :((((

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? ye

119: Learned another language? i took 3 years of Spanish in high school but i wasn’t any good at it and dont really remember much of what i did learn

120: Wore make up? yes i do often :0

123: Dyed my hair? ye a lot

124: Voted in a presidential election? yes ever since iv been old enough to i vote

125: Rode in an ambulance? no

126: Had a surgery?  dental surgery yes

127: Met someone famous? Not anyone i’d count no

128: Stalked someone on a social network? depends on what you count as stalking i guess but like not ever in a creepy way like ive been on people’s social media to find out stuff about them like. if theyre in a relationship or especially after highschool ill wonder about someone i havent talked to in awhile and ill see what theyve been up to and what theyre doing with their life and stuff

129: Peed outside? no

130: Been fishing? yes like once

131: Helped with charity? donation wise yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? ive never confessed to anyone and been rejected but once a friend told my crush i liked them and they confronted me about it and rejected me but it made me more mad at the friend that told them than it made me sad about being rejected because i knew it’d probably go like that  and it justmade thing awkward between us for awhile  😔

133: Broken a mirror? ive broken the little mirrors inside eyeshadow pallets but i havent broken full ones

134: What do I want for birthday? usually just money lol or something thoughtful and cute

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? i aggresivly do NOT want kids BUT hypohetically Elliot or Xander for a boy and idk what i’d nam a girl

136: Was I named after anyone? no

137: Do I like my handwriting?  its messy so no not really but if im writing something for myself like a not or whatever i dont mind as long as i can read it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? even as a little kid i always played computer games but other than that, this guy :

139: Favourite Tv Show? Jojo

140: Where do I want to live when older? New york or japan

141: Play any musical instrument? i can kind of play harmonica

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? i burnt my thumb kinda bad on the oven a while ago its still kinda healing but right now it looks like its gonna stay a scar

143: Favourite pizza toping? i like everything/suprieme pizza but if i have to pick one single topping pepperoni

144: Am I afraid of the dark? yes :((

145: Am I afraid of heights? mentioned it earlier but yes if im not strapped in or secured etc

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? no im so scared of being caught doing something bad that i just. dont

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? i mean yes but thats life babey

149: What my greatest achievments are ive gotten awards for grades and stuff but that boring BUT i got the english department award or whatever that was called im very proud of that

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery i donate some and save the rest tbh

152: What do I like about myself i can be pretty  sometimes 👉👈 im cute or whateva ,,,

153: My closest Tumblr friend i dont really havent “tumblr friends” aside from friends i know irl and also tey have tumblrs ,,

154: Something I fantasise about just. growing up and having my own place maybe with someone and. being comfortable and  okay and not having to worry ,,

155: Any question you’d like? dkfjhdskhf japan :000