#so I'd die because I couldn't clear the screen :))))))))

[yourelliewillms]

the guy from the record

store wasn't a guy?

ellie williams fanfic

━━ chapter 2 wc: 3.1k

read the chapters here !!

you've managed to become closer with the guy you're interested in! this feels like a dream, everything feels like a dream but maybe this (or he) is too good to be true.

hiii omg this chapter is way longer than the first one but i had to do it, i'm sorry !!! anyways i hope you like it <3

based on the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all !!

friendly reminder that he/him pronouns are used for plot purposes !! so please imagine ellie when i use them. i'm not writing about a man, i'd rather die, honestly.

7 in the afternoon. ellie spent the entire day looking at the phone number written on her wrist, scared that the black ink may erase at any time. she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose planning a whole dialogue in her mind that she probably would forget the second she heard your voice, she didn't even know what she was supposed to say to you, the girl that was basically interested in her.

but she knew how excited you were about this, everytime she closed her eyes she could imagine the look on your face if she called you. she knew that you needed someone to share your interests with and she couldn't deny that having someone to talk to about music sounded like a good idea to her too. ellie'd been alone at school for almost a year now and even if you didn't know that the guy you were wishing to date was actually her, you were going to find out at some point and, if you didn't get mad at her, you two could be really good friends, then ellie wouldn't have to be alone anymore.

the whole idea of finally getting to know someone running through ellie's mind while she stared at her phone and her fingers anxiously tapped the desk where her phone laid. she started to type your number on the screen of her phone. she breathed in, blinked quickly and cleared her throat when she pressed the 'call' button. she could already feel her heart pounding so hard threatening to get out of her chest at any second.

you walked in circles around your room with your phone in your hands. you could already feel your eyes drying for you couldn't even blink, you desperately stared at the screen waiting for that call.

but what if he didn't call you? what if he thought you were annoying and he was just being nice when he lent you that album? all kind of negative thoughts ran through your mind. just the idea of being rejected broke your heart into pieces and you could feel that knot in your stomach.

or maybe a worst scenario was that he actually called you. what would you say? would he expect an opinion about the album? would he want to talk to you or would he prefer a shorter conversation?

you fidget with your fingers and bit your nails from time to time as you too planned a whole script in case you had to carry a whole conversation with your crush. you wanted to impress him, show him that you could be as cool as he was.

bzzt

the sound of your phone took you out of your trance and you froze for a second. an unknown number, but you know very well who was calling you. your face lighted up and you immediately picked up the call.

maybe it was because of your excitement that you couldn't help screaming at the phone awkwardly "i loved the album!" you immediately frowned and closed your eyes regretting your whole existence. the cringe was physically hurting you and the seconds you had to wait for his answer felt like an eternity.

"hi to you too," you heard his raspy voice followed by a chuckle that warmed your heart in a second "i'm glad you liked it, it's became one of my favorites."

you started to play with a string of your hair. "i know, i liked it very mussh!" once again you'd embarrassed yourself, it felt like you couldn't stop shouting and screwing things up. just when you thought nothing could make this moment even worse, you heard the loud voice of your mother coming from the kitchen.

a shout of your name followed by a "dinner's ready!" you closed your eyes and sighed hoping that some god had heard your prayers, had mercy of you and avoided that your crush listened to your mom calling you.

but that was asking too much and you could hear a soft laugh coming from your phone. just when you were already feeling the drops of sweat on your forehead reminding you that embarrassing moment, that husky voice blessed your ears one more time. this time it sounded like a whisper, one that warmed your ear and it almost felt as if he were only inches away from you. he called your name and you stopped dead.

"tell your mom i say hi." you hummed trying to hide the panic and the butterflies that only one sentence caused inside you. all the fear you felt seconds ago was replaced by pure ecstasy.

you two talked for a few more minutes and ended the call. ellie felt on her knees and buried her face in her hands. the initial plan was to talk to someone from school and make friends, but why was she unconsciously flirting with you? was it really unconsciously or she didn't want to admit that she was doing it on purpose?

"hey, did you do the homework for today? i didn't do it and i can't have more bad grades. i was wondering if you..."

the voice of one of your classmates called your attention. you sighed and rolled your eyes, you were ready to deny the request, but you frowned when you looked up and realized that the request wasn't for you.

you turned to your right and there it was, your classmate jesse talking to ellie. or rather than talking, he was disturbing her, interrupting her so much preciated tranquility.

"i didn't do it."

the response felt ice cold but she didn't seem annoyed, just nonchalant. you bit your lower lip in order to stop the laugh coming out of your mouth.

"really? but you look like a nerd..."

now the soft smile on your lips slowly faded and your teeth bit your lips so hard they were turning a dark red, the blood threatening to come out from the corner of your lips. you furrowed your eyebrows and scrunched your nose. the conversation was none of your business but you felt the sudden impulse to say something, you couldn't stay quiet and see how someone insulted your classmate.

"so you ask for help and then diss her?" your words came out like a bark "how childish." both of them were now looking at you in surprise. ellie's mouth half opened, the green orbes grew bigger than ever. she blinked a few times before fixing her glasses with her index finger while she cleared her throat.

you just watched jesse leave without saying a word but you could notice his embarrassment miles away. you smiled proudly as your eyes fell on ellie. she mouthed a 'thank you'. you nodded and couldn't help smiling.

only the sight of her felt familiar, had she always been like that? with that little sparkle in her eyes that tickled your stomach and in some way made you feel a connection with her, feeling as if something about her would be able to captivate you any time.

you stared at the notebook in front of you trying to make up your mind. maybe she was a nice person and this was a sign to talk to her, maybe it was the sign of the beginning of a good friendship.

you opened your eyes as soon as you heard the sound of your alarm. never in your life have you been happier about waking up at 8 in the morning on a saturday. you got up from your bed and appreciated the cute outfit laying on your bed, the one you'd carefully chosen the night before. spending hours on choosing the best clothes from your closet and doing your makeup to make you look stunning was worth it if it meant seeing your crush one more time.

you held in your hands the album he had lent you some days before and you couldn't hide the excitement that the butterflies inside your stomach caused. your left hand brushed your cheek and you felt the warmth of your skin almost burning.

you hadn't payed attention to the weather outside because what could go wrong? all the past days had been okay, why would this one be different?

before you cross the front door of your house, tough, your frizzy hair was already warning you something. the bright and warm sun that was beautifully shining the previous day was now all covered in heavy gray clouds that were taking with them the shiny colors of the flowers on the porch of your house.

it was just a 10 minutes walk from your house to the preciated record store but it took only 5 minutes for the pouring rain to start soaking your hair that had taken hours to get done.

but not a single thought of going back home crossed your mind, that was definitely not an option. nothing was going to stop you from having that desired love life you'd prayed for so much for so long. some rain wouldn't screw it up.

your path to the record store consisted of you running to get there faster taking little breaks under the trees that covered you from the rain. you inhaled and prepared yourself to start running again, it kept like that until you finally were only one block away from the place.

the light coming from inside the store gave you an immediate feeling of warmth. the characteristic music of the place was softer than the other days for the sound of the raindrops falling onto the floor was mostly the only thing you could hear.

you sprinted towards the door, the familiar ring of the bell welcoming you once again to your now well known record shop. your eyes scanned the room and stopped at the stunning figure you soon recognized.

it was the guy, your guy. it seemed like he'd also been outside because his hair and face, which was still covered with a mask, were adorned with tiny raindrops. he was drying his forehead with his shirt revealing his well toned abdomen, the small freckles highlighting his pale skin.

soon you felt the warmth quickly coming back to your body almost rushing. your uncolored cheeks now growing crimson while you clenched your teeth afraid that your jaw would fall to the floor if you stared too much.

it didn't take too long for him to notice your presence. he turned around to look at you with those hypnotizing emerald eyes, you could notice the concernment in his eyes as soon as they fell on you. he quickly grabbed the gray hoodie laying on the counter.

"hey, you might catch a cold."

his raspy yet soft voice blessing your ears and before you realized it, he handed you his hoodie.

"you can wear this."

this was the moment you coul swear that that was not rain at all, that was holy water. the day you thought was ruined had became a day you'd remember your whole life. it took you a minute to go back to reality and confirm that this scene was not a product of your imagination.

"oh, thanks." you couldn't hide the sweet smile on your face and you could tell that he was smiling too by the way his eyes looked at yours.

you put the gray hoodie on and all you could think about was the nice smell coming from the fabric, a mixture of a sweet yet woody perfume combined with his natural scent invaded your nostrils and was quick to make you head over heels.

meanwhile, ellie was sweating just by the thought of the possibility of her clothes smelling. but there's no chance that you could find this new fragrance other than pleasant.

after spending what felt like minutes but was actually more than an hour in the record store talking about the things that you had in common, which was not much more than music, but that was enough to make your heart flutter and giggle at his spontaneous jokes and at times sarcastic behavior.

minutes felt like seconds and you had the feeling that you two had something special. the natural conversations and casual jokes made everything feel right and, in some way, it made you think that all the scenarios you made up at midnight before falling asleep while you listened to a playlist you'd made specially for him, could become real. because you were like that, only a few days of seeing this guy and you'd already made a playlist for him with all your favorite songs in it.

"i wanted to share something with you." you hold your breath as you waited for a response.

"yeah? what is it?" you heard the curiosity in his voice.

"it's kinda stupid but i..." you doubted for a second before finishing your sentence "i made a playlist with my favorite songs, maybe you want to listen to it?" your fingers fidgeted with your rings.

his gasp was almost inaudible but loud enough to let you know that he was actually excited about this. "that's not stupid at all, that's awesome." the green eyes looked for yours "send it to me right now, please."

you immediately looked down at your phone in an attempt of hiding the sparkles in your eyes while you sent him the link of the playlist, little did you know that it would soon become that guy's, or ellie's, favorite playlist.

the feeling of your empty stomach reminded you that it was time to go back home and after chatting a bit more with your favorite employee of the record store, you waved and said goodbye to him with a sweet smile, his own eyes smiling at you too thanking your for your visit.

you'd always been fond of participating in every festival that your school organized. this time wouldn't be the exception, your mind was already full of ideas for the spring festival and just the thought of being in charge of it excited you. you'd already decided the music, decorations and organized the little shows that some of the students would make, everything carefully organized by yourself.

but your plans couldn't be as perfect in reality as in your mind, it was when you heard your professor's voice that you knew this was going to be harder than you thought.

"you'll work with jesse, he needs extra points." your jaw fell to the ground when the professor basically forced you to work with one of your classmates, one that you'd already had a little argument with. it wasn't like you hated him but you'd never worked with a boy before, let alone being close with one, with the exception of the guy from the record store, of course.

"i can't... i won't work with him alone, i-" you looked around your classroom with the hope of finding someone who could save you from this situation, someone who you knew would be helpful and would make the atmosphere less awkward.

your face lighted up when your eyes noticed the person next to you, a smirk placed on your face for you'd found the perfect one.

"i think ellie'd do great if she helped us with the organization too." you patted her shoulder. she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and looked into your eyes for an explanation "you can help us with the music. you have good taste after all, right?" your voice softened when you turned to her, your face expression almost begging for her to accept your offer.

"i- uhm..." she swallowed when she noticed you were watching expectant at her "i guess i could try?" her rising tone making it sound as a question rather than an affirmation. the familiar sweet smile on your face thanking her was everything she needed to confirm that she wouldn't regret this decision.

you spent some minutes thanking her after everyone left the classroom, this being one of the first times you had a conversation with her that lasted more than two words exchanged. it wasn't too deep though, some instructions about the organization of these festivals mixed with words of encouragement for her before she left the classroom.

the room all empty now, every sound you made echoed between the walls as you packed up your belongings and put on your backpack ready to leave too, but the shinning screen of the phone lying on the desk next to yours called your attention. you grabbed it in your hands and carefully examinated it. "it's ellie's phone" you thought.

you turned to look at the door expecting ellie to come back looking for it, but not a single soul seemed to be near there. your attention went back to the mobile. the unlocked screen with a song playing on it, a song you well knew, awoke your curiosity. you'd always hated people who snitched in other's phones but you couldn't help it, plus, there wouldn't be any damage in looking into someone's playlist.

a little grin placed on your face as you noticed the so much similar taste in music you two seem to have. what a coincidence that these were all your favorite songs!

your smile faded and turned into a frown as you read the tittle of every song, one after one. the cold sensation at the back of your neck hitting you when you reached the end on the playlist. all you favorite songs, all in one playlist, the playlist you'd made which only one person was able to listen to other than you. the phone fell from your shaky hands onto the desk, your breath getting faster with each thought running through your mind, the sudden realization hitting you like cold water.

the sound of the door opening took you out of your half-conscious state. "oh, you're still here." you couldn't even face her, now it all made sense "i forgot my phone." the voice you soon recognized making you shiver.

you took a deep breath before turning at her and faking your best smile as you handled ellie her phone "yeah, here." you tried to hide the shaky voice caused by the knot on your throat. "thanks, see you next week!" you watched as she left the classroom once again, then your hands fell on the desk in front of you as you tried to catch your breath and swallow the incontrollable feeling of crying.

these past few weeks, the days you spent talking to what you thought was a guy, was actually a girl? it was not only a girl, it was your classmate, ellie.

taglist: @ohnopoteito (and the editor 💋💋 thank u for your help you've won a crocheted gift 👏👏👏 parabéns) @bready101 @everegretseverything @idk-sam @jupitersversionn @seraphicsentences @fatbootymuncher @ilovetocas1 @blackandwhitewindows @nombreuxx @mooneylou

[starflungwaddledee]

🕰️🩷🧋and 🥘 for starstuck Dee please and thank you.

[ >>> kirby oc ask meme <<< ]

🕰️ (Clock) - What would a Dreamy Gear version of them look like? What sort of accessories would they have? What kind of role do they play?

well i couldn't resist drawing it once i'd thought about it, so here she is! still pretty recognisable, but i think that large elements of her story and the suspicions surrounding her would be different, due to the fact that waddle dee/bandee is usually the one and only waddle dee. i think she'd still be found in a meteor crater at the edge of town by meta knight, but i think this time he'd bring her to bandee instead of president dedede, mostly due to the clear visual similarities. bandee would take her in instantly, and she'd follow him around the mechanic shop, learning to tinker and serving as his glorified assistant. learns to make really good apple tea instead of being a friendly chatterbox she would be shy and selectively mute, speaking out loud exclusively to bandee. though she still forms relationships with kirby and meta knight, i think that sadly in this world president dedede would frighten her, despite how highly bandee thinks of him 😭 at meta knight's suggestion, after he finds her squinting skyward on the roof at night a few too many times, she makes herself a pocket telescope for looking at stars and surveying the weather. she uses it to give bandee reports, which he discretely passes on to kirby and dedede for their races.

🩷 (Pink Heart) - If they were a Dream Friend, what would their moveset be like? How much HP do they have? Would they be a strong attacker, or would they take on more of a support role?

she would be a support role for sure, but i also can't resist also giving her some specialised abilities... > hp: small health bar, but practically immune to damage. will still die in insta-kill scenarios like lava or crush blocks > basic attack: if bandana waddle dee, meta knight, or king dedede are on the team she'll get a simple swing attack with a toy/training version of their weapon. if at least two are on the team, it's upgraded to an attack with a three-swing combo, and she'll alternate at random between which weapon she pulls > basic support: drawing magic from the environment around her or other allies or enemies present, she can give a wide variety of power effects. i previously said she'd give blustery and i stand by it, because even if there are no other elements around there's always air, but i think she could give the others too. she cannot attack with any of these herself > healing: under CPU control she'll focus on running ahead to pick up heal items, and bring them back. if everybody has full health, she'll actually store the item and bring it out later whenever anyone gets below half health; tdlx bandee style > meteor shower: this is a charge attack that starts with a 3 minute cooldown. after charging, she can use it by jumping in the air and pressing a multi-button combo, to avoid accidental activation. this is a full screen, crash-like attack with a shooting star visual, similar to team meteor. all on screen enemies defeated, and most bosses down to at least 1/3 health. > downed: unfortunately after using the charged attack she will drop her inventory, pass out, and need to be piggy backed for about 5 minutes if you want to keep her on the team (walking over to her will activate a 'piggy back' bar instead of the standard 'revive'). she cannot heal or give buffs during this time, but can be dropped by accident or when attacked, and can take damage that cannot be healed. if she makes it she wakes up at partial health, but returns to being invulnerable while conscious

🧋 and 🥘 both answered here!

[songbirdseung]

PLAYLISTS / EN- HYUNGLINE

synopsis: the enhypen members making playlists for you.

HEESEUNG 이희승 ~

Off My Face - Justin Bieber

Adore You - Harry Styles

Free Love - HONNE

Hold Me Tight - Loco, Crush

Die For You - The Weeknd

As Heeseung prepares for his upcoming tour, there's a mix of excitement and bittersweet anticipation in the air. Knowing that he'll be away for a while, he decides to leave you with something special – a playlist of songs he's curated just for you.

On a quiet evening, Heeseung invites you to sit with him, a warm smile on his face. The room is filled with the soft strumming of a guitar from one of his favorite tracks. "I made something for you, YN."

He hands you a beautifully decorated envelope. As you open it, a handwritten note greets you, expressing his feelings and the significance of each song on the playlist. "What's this?"

"A playlist. I thought it could be something for you to listen to while I'm on tour. Each song means something to me, to us."

He takes out his phone and hands it to you, the playlist ready to play. As the first song begins, you realize it's a mix of tracks that capture different moments of your relationship, from the lighthearted to the more intimate.

You share a smile, the memories flooding back as the playlist progresses. Heeseung's eyes never leave yours as the music becomes a soundtrack to your time together.

As the last song plays, Heeseung gently takes the phone from you and places it on the table. He then reaches for your hand, his gaze filled with sincerity.

"I'll miss you, YN. But no matter where I am, these songs will remind me of you, and I hope they do the same for you."

JAY 박종성 ~

About Us Part.1 - Jason Ray

Because Of You - Neyo

Heaven - Pink Sweats

Isn't She Lovely - Stevie Wonder

R U Mine? - Artic Monkeys

The soft glow from Jay's phone illuminates the otherwise dim room as he sits on the edge of the bed, earphones plugged in, immersed in his own world. Unbeknownst to him, you stir in your sleep, vaguely aware of the soft melodies playing in the background.

Curiosity gets the best of you, and you crack open an eye, catching Jay with his phone in hand and a determined look on his face. As you listen more closely, you realize he's creating a playlist, his fingers dancing across the screen with a practiced ease.

"Jay, what are you doing?" Jay startles, turning to you with wide eyes, guilty as charged.

"Oh, hey. Sorry, did I wake you?" You sit up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, and look at him with a mix of amusement and confusion. "What's going on? It's 2 am."

Jay grins, his cheeks slightly flushed. "I couldn't sleep, and I was feeling a bit… lovesick, I guess. So, I thought I'd make a playlist for you." You can't help but smile at his honesty and the unexpected sweetness of the gesture.

"A playlist at 2 in the morning? Really?" "Well, you know, inspiration strikes at the oddest hours. And you were sleeping so peacefully; I didn't want to disturb you." As you listen to the playlist he's crafting, you realize it's a compilation of songs that hold special meaning for both of you. It's evident that Jay is pouring his heart into this late-night project, choosing each track with care.

"You're such a hopeless romantic, Jay." Jay chuckles, running a hand through his hair. "Guilty as charged. But hey, I wanted it to be a surprise."

JAKE 심재윤 ~

Intentions - Justin Bieber

Angel Baby - Troye SIvan

Love Me Like That - Sam Kim

Double Take - Dhruv

Sunflower - Post Malone

The air is filled with a mix of anticipation and nerves as Jake arrives at your house for what seems like a regular friend hangout. Unknown to you, he's been contemplating a confession, and today he's decided to take that leap.

You greet Jake at the door, oblivious to the internal turmoil he's experiencing. The atmosphere is casual as you settle in the living room, discussing movies, music, and the latest happenings in your lives.

As the conversation flows, Jake clears his throat, a subtle hint of nervousness betraying his usual composed demeanor. "Hey, there's something I wanted to show you."

He reaches into his bag and pulls out a small envelope. You raise an eyebrow, curious about the mysterious contents. "What's this?"

"Just something I put together. It's kind of like a playlist, but, well, different." Jake takes a deep breath, his gaze meeting yours with a newfound intensity. "I wanted to show you, not just tell you, how much you mean to me."

There's a pause, the weight of the confession hanging in the air. You look at Jake, the realization sinking in, and a warm smile spreads across your face. "Jake, I appreciate your honesty. I… feel the same way." Relief washes over Jake, and he can't help but return your smile. "Really?"

You nod, and the tension in the room lifts as a new understanding settles between you.

SUNGHOON 박성훈 ~

8 Letters - Why Don't We

Like I Need U - Keshi

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? - Ella Fitzgerald

다시 사랑한다면 - Do Won Kyeong

Spring Day - BTS

He can't shake the unsettling feeling that the relationship between him and you have hit a rough patch. The thought of a potential breakup weighs heavy on his mind, prompting him to express his feelings through the medium of music.

Meanwhile, you find yourself cleaning the room, hoping to bring a sense of order to the emotional chaos that seems to have permeated the space. As you move around, you notice Sunghoon's laptop open on the desk, the playlist title catching your eye – "Unsaid Words."

Intrigued, you click on it and are greeted by a collection of songs that span a range of emotions. The lyrics seem to reflect the unspoken tensions that have been building between you and Sunghoon. Each song tells a story of love, loss, and the fear of things slipping away.

Sunghoon enters the room, a slightly startled expression crossing his face as he realizes you've found the playlist. "Oh, you weren't supposed to see that." You turn to him, the weight of the moment palpable in the air. "What's this, Sunghoon?"

Sunghoon takes a deep breath, his eyes searching yours. "It's just… I've been feeling like we're drifting apart, and I didn't know how to say it. So, I made this playlist to express what I've been feeling."

Your heart sinks as you listen to his words, the gravity of the situation becoming clearer. You sit down, and Sunghoon joins you, the playlist serving as an emotional backdrop to the difficult conversation ahead.

[megaman-r]

It's been quiet! So, what's gotten done lately?

Well, first of all I keep writing really complicated novel-length MMX fic instead...which isn't making my other hobbies go any faster...sweats profusely.

But anyway!

Roll can die from taking damage.

Of course, this makes her lose a life.

She'll respawn at the start of a stage...

...Unless she's hit a checkpoint, in which case, she'll respawn from there instead.

And if Roll runs out of lives, you go to the game over screen.

From there you can choose to continue from the start of the same stage...

Or you can go back to the stage select.

(Or, technically, you can quit to desktop.)

So yeah, basic expected gameplay loop functionality, more or less. Doing all this from scratch is a lot more involved than it sounds like, though. There's a perfectly good Game Maker setup for making Mega Man fan games, aaaaand I'm not using that engine so it's basically useless to me and I started from quite literally nothing instead. Figuring it all out by myself instead took a long time and a lot of rubber ducking.

On top of that, Pixel Game Maker MV is, as I've learned the hard way, very tetchy about handling load/save operations, and I couldn't figure out why it was refusing to save checkpoints properly until I figured it out: the version I'm using for my dev environment will only succeed at a single file operation per runtime action. Any others in the same runtime action will silently fail. That was hours of trial and error to figure out why it was failing to write save files, but only about half of them, for no apparent reason. But it's been troubleshooted! Troubleshot? Whichever. It works now! It's actually been a huge hurdle.

All the Robot Master boss music exists, too, which is pretty cool. The first iteration accidentally sounded like John Cena's theme, which was, uh. Funny as heck, but not intended. So I went back and made that not be the case, though that means that the SiIvaGunner joke of remixing tracks to be John Cena's theme and saying they're an alpha version is not even a joke here, it's literal. That is a real thing that happened and I didn't even realize it until someone in the dev Discord pointed it out.

Next on the roadmap is getting individual file save slots functional. Checkpoints and level start actually use save files as well; they're just temporary, and the engine deletes and recreates them pretty frequently to avoid buggy shenanigans. I'd like to be able to display at least basic save file information on each save slot, so I'll need to figure out how that works and what that screen should look like. Games will autosave on the stage select screen, though you can always clear a slot manually to start a new game. Very SNES kind of system.

After that's all implemented and debugged, I can probably start thinking about actual playable content, since that wraps up the vast majority of the UI. Good thing, too, because I actually kind of hate working on UI. 🥲 It's a necessary evil, though, and I think it'll be a pretty alright UI when it's finished. Nothing groundbreaking, but does a classic-style Mega Man game need a groundbreaking menu? I think probably it doesn't, and I can save my energy for the gameplay.

[lost-inanotherlife]

Lost Rewatch S3 - Random Thoughts

As I've stated before, in stops and starts season 3 was quite cringe-y. Of course, we're still navigating high-quality storytelling waters but you know there's something a little wrong when writers admit to being in shortage of creative ideas by episode NINE (the much-talked about "Stanger in a Strange Land"). As a result this post might sound a bit S3-negative although, as I've just said, I'd never question the writers' command of the narrative. It's just that some stuff didn't really work out for me this time, that's all. I'll sprinkle-sprinkle some positivity too 'cause this season gave us all some mind-blowingly intense and beautiful moments, too. We can never forget those.

Starting off strong with our lovingly island-made love triangle: Jack/Kate/Sawyer that's not so slowly becoming a love square. Not a fan of how Kate and Sawyer got together, I'll be honest. Yes, the trauma of being kidnapped, forced to haul rocks and live in cages makes a human do crazier things, still... They put on a pretty dress on Kate and all of a sudden everybody goes "woa" (very 90's "chick flicks", didn't they have EYES before?), Sawyer is smashing rocks under the sun, sweating his own weight off but can't seem to resist the urge to look at her ass and kiss her, Kate herself is working her ass off (sorry for the pun, couldn't resist haha) and, well, the shots very much highligthed that by focusing on her ass... Guys, it was cringe to watch. And yes, the kiss was a distraction and blah, blah, blah. Again: cringe. All of a sudden Kate's madly in love with Sawyer which, you know, I'd have dug if they'd continued to show how their flirty relationship evolved instead of going from their sarcastic banters to extreme "I love yous" desperately screamed at gun point. Same goes for Jack by the way: for most of S2 Jack and Kate are on looser terms compared to the closeness of S1. after their kiss Kate's way closer to Sawyer because she chose him. Jack and Kate are not together and don't speak very much for, possibly, the whole duration of s3 and all of a sudden Jack's all "I love you". I don't see the crescendo of this love, therefore I don't fully buy it. Not gonna lie, the scenes were beautiful and very well-acted but these guys have spent weeks without talking to each other lol. They did the same exact thing in S2 as I've said before and I didn't particularly enjoy it in S2 so it's not like I wasn't gonna see it repeating itself in S3.

The majority of the flashbacks shown in this season are... how can I put it? Not au pair with the usual Lost-esque quality. Particularly not excellent, let's say, were the already mentioned "Stranger in a Strange Land", "Enter 77" and "I Do". Also, please but Desmond's and Kate's wigs in their flahsbacks are plain awful. Please stop.

Conversely, "Left Behind" was a fucking good flashback story. Kate-centric episodes are either meh or extremely good for me. I think she's one of those characters that when you find the right vein to write her, you write an incredbily layered, unbelievably complex character. When you don't, her character feels quite flat and it's a pity.

I might be in love with Juliet?! When I watched S3 for the first time in 2007 I deeply disliked her. Maybe I was too young to appreciate her character, she's not a clear-cut archetype like the other main characters are: more lived life helped me understand her better and now I'm deeply in love with her. I love how you can never predict what her little cute smirk means, she's a bit of a mystery but, unlike Kate, she's as such not because she has something to hide from her past (at least until now lol): she's enigmatic because that's who she is, she's very "torn-in-two" character. Love it.

I'm not liking all these dead women on my screen. Locke couldn't kill his father, couldn't kill Jack but he could sure as hell plant a knife in Naomi's back. The two persons guarding the submarine hatch had to be women and they had to die, didn't they? Of course, the mothers are dying on the island, of course the mob in "The Cost of Living" had to shoot just a woman, of course Bea Klugh had to be killed by Mikhail, of course "Tricia Tanaka is Dead". I was quite growing fond of Tom and was saddened by his death but I ultimately think that if they kept sparing white guys while killing off women and black people in general in the blink of an eye they'd have a real problem. Well, as a matter of fact they still do. They should've done better.

John's "shamanic journey" in "Further Instructions" is very offensive. Shamanic practices are serious things that must be done seriously. But hey, here's our "connected-with-the-island-lazarus-rising" white old man, let's have him enter a sweat lodge, prepare a slop of something so that he can have a vision and resolve this knot in the plot. No, thank you.

I don't agree with people bashing on "Exposé": I think it's a good episode. In fact, I appreciated the Other Losties' POV (Arzt you won't be forgotten!). The real problem is that it's just that: other, plot-unrelated people's pov, nothing really new was added and the characters were eventually killed off so what's the point lol? What I want to say is that it's a good filler episode and I enjoyed it but at this point in the series, filler ep for filler ep, I'd have preferred one that was "-centric" to one or more of the main characters. But hey, I get what I can and, all in all, good ep.

Now, I know that one of the main themes of this season is the impossibility of going back: it was very artfully written to lead us to the season finale's big reveal. Fine, good, intellectually I love it. Instinctually when in a story I see characters going from point A to B and then going back to point A in the span of the same episode or the following I... well, I don't take it well lol. It's a pet peeve of mine, really, but COME ON. It's a way to milk a narrative thread for all its worth. It's a way to buy narrative time without resorting to fillers. But sometimes you just need to let it go and come up with a better idea presto. I'm talking about Kate going back to find Jack as soon as she arrives at the beach. How in hell did Kate know that Jack was on the main island and not still on Hydra? And how did John connect the dots between the writing on Eko's stick and Jack's whereabouts? And why did the Others just leave their barracks, in which they had lived for years, instead of just killing Kate, Sayid and John? Come on. These guys have killed for way less.

The best fucking line of the whole season is Charlie's: "It's the five best moments of my… sorry excuse for a life. My greatest hits. You know, memories. They're all I've got." Chills, literal chills.

"Flash Before Your Eyes" is a totally cringe episode. Everything feels exactly what it is: a set, a prop, a wig on the actor's head, lol. Twenty years ago I was still a naive girl fangirling over Desmond and Penny's relationship but now I know better. Des was a lot of a dick toward Penny, let's be real. He was obsessed with this "honor", with feeling "worthy" and totally took it out on her. She was right, he was indeed a coward. I wish they had given a different backstory to Des. Maybe it's because it's so similar to (re it's the same as) Jin and Sun's story but it didn't land for me this time. I don't see the same "epicness" in their love story that I'd first seen back in the 00'.

Eko's "Redemption-Not-Redemption" arc is the best thing of this season. I have no words to describe it so I'll just leave his final speech here. INCREDIBLE.

I ask for no forgiveness, Father. For I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. A small boy once asked me if I was a bad man. If I could answer him now, I would tell him that... when I was a young boy, I killed a man to save my brother's life. I am not sorry for this. I am proud of this. I did not ask for the life that I was given. But it was given, nonetheless. And with it... I did my best.

[caitie-likes-talking]

Part 4 Critique: Everything I'd Change

I love DIU..however, I consider it one of the post flawed of the JJBA Parts. Honestly, I feel like Araki didn't fully know where he was going with it til halfway, which is why the plot can be so janky. No matter what, let's dive into it. First, characters.

(also quick disclaimer: this is all my opinion and i am biased for MANY things.)

if u diagree w me dont tell me i think it would crush me

Characters [Josuke, Jotaro, Okuyasu, Kira]

Josuke Higashikata

I LOVE Josuke. I think he's a lovely character concept and his design is really cool. My main problem with him is literally his LACK of screen time!! He is the Jojo of this part, yet his spotlight is constantly stolen by other side characters like Koichi, Rohan, and even Jotaro. This also happened a lot in Part 3, with it basically being the Polnareff show (idk why Araki did this sm in pts3-5...either let the mc have screen time or don't have them be the mc!!)

I think Josuke had some of the most missed opportunities in DIU. Especially with his relationships with other characters. I think this part could've been way more interesting if it chose a solid theme, and one that I think would've made sense is commentating on death & tragedy and how that can impact personal relationships. The reason I believe this is because there's already easy set ups for this in the story. Ryohei's death, The Nijimura Brother's family, Reimi, Shigechi, and Jotaro all have that theme in place, but not enough connecting points or real arcs related to this. What was the point of killing off Ryohei (who was the only father figure Josuke had growing up) if you're not going to show how this impacted Josuke, Tomoko, and how he acts with others besides one single page? Sure, it taught him that his powers have limits and that he can't save everyone, but that was a stupid thing to teach him because Okuyasu doesn't fucking die when he should've!! Like why did we make an arc saying 'hey stands aren't magic they can't bring ppl back to life' just for EXACTLY THAT to happen??

Moving on, I also have problems with his stand. I LOVE Crazy Diamond, I think it has a super cool design and power concept, but personally I wish it's powers were more grounded and had clear limits. I feel like a lot of stands suffer from this treatment of vague power limits (ex: Golden Wind..) but my problem with CD is that there were MANY opportunities to add one! For example: we know Josuke couldn't bring back Ryohei even after using his stand on him. So that bears the question: what can CD not fix? What is the real reason it can't bring a dead person back to life? Jotaro says "No stand has the power to bring back the dead" WHY?? am i missing something? Have I forgotten when it was officially established that stands cant do that? I mean, literally in part 3 there was a stand that could reanimate corpses. So does it have to do with the soul? No matter what, I would've used this moment to establish that CD can't bring back ANY living thing. I actually wrote a short fic abt this and included the fact that he also couldn't "fix" a dead leaf. I feel like overall his stand needed more grounding.

Also, I have beef with Josuke's backstory, but I'll get into that later.

Jotaro Kujo

Ok firstly, I have MAJOR beef with his design in part 4. Mainly the fact that he's drawn extremely pale in the anime. Like..obviously he COULD be pale as he is wasian (im not trying to say all wasian ppl look the same), but he is TAN in part 3. Why did they take that away?? Pisses me off to the extreme. At least they fixed it in p5+6. Anyways..

Character wise, I really enjoy Jotaro's personality in p4. I like how he's mellowed out in comparison to p3. However, I feel like he needed a more clear role in the story. He showed up to figure out grandpappy's shit, and then took the leader role when facing Kira. Why don't I like this? Because most of the time Jotaro was just..there. I think Araki wanted him and Josuke to have a mentor/student relationship (ex: rat episode) but just didn't focus enough on them or Josuke training with his stand for this to work.

Also, the fact that it took Jotaro so fucking long to figure out who Kira is WITH the help of all those other stand users is so goofy. Like him and the gang back in '89 found Dio's ass from a goddamn microscopic fly in a photo but couldn't find Kira's identity?? Like ugh he almost redeemed himself with the button thing but then he got blown up like gosh what happened king

When it comes to stands, I forever find it stupid that Jotaro didn't work with his stand to become more powerful. Araki just had to nerf him (which is something he does with most reoccurring characters, ex: Joseph). I don't like it and it pisses me off.

With the death of Ryohei, I feel like it would've made more sense for Jotaro to somewhat open up to Josuke and be a bit more sympathetic towards him about it (or maybe he stays closed off until Josuke explodes, causing Jotaro to reveal the truth about his past.) Either way, I think the two of them could've bonded over shared grief.

Okuyasu Nijimura

I absolutely ADORE Okuyasu. I think his dynamic with Josuke is really fun to watch and his personality is just overall super enjoyable.

Stand wise I do think Araki slightly nerfed him by making him dumb as fucking rocks, but I let this slide a little more just bc he's a side character..

I honestly think Okuyasu has the best character arc out of the whole part 4 cast. I think he definitely deserved more screen time, but what we got was really solid in my opinion. His relationship with his brother was well developed and it was really interesting to see how it still affected him even after his brother's death. The way he felt a need to get revenge for his brother and still felt like he wasn't enough really hit me in the gut. I love him.

When it comes to Okuyasu's "death" I have very mixed opinions. On the one hand, ofc the goat of part 4 survived. On the other hand, I feel like him surviving goes directly against the idea we've been given since the beginning. You can't save everyone. And on the one hand, I enjoy the subverting of expectations. On the other hand, I don't like how it's still just never fully explained. I guess in JJBA as long as your soul doesn't feel like dying yet, you won't. I wish we saw Okuyasu actually speaking to his brother when he "died" however. I find him and Keicho's relationship really gut-punching and that would've been a fire scene imo.

I have more to say on him, his dad, Keicho, and the arrow, but I'll save that for when I'm talking about the plot.

Yoshikage Kira

I find Kira to be a really interesting villain. I really enjoyed every moment we got going deeper into his psychology and it's something I really wish we got to see more of. I enjoy his sleek design and he's fine asf tbh.

Im not gonna give commentary on his stand rn bc honestly i dont fully remember how that shit worked by the time he was using the arrow

Character wise I just really wish he was established as the main villain sooner. The build up and hints dropped about him were so addictive, so it's disappointing that they're only there a little before his full introduction.

The psychology of Kira is something I really liked. The way he truly believes he's never really done anything wrong and only wanting to live a peaceful life is something I wish was even more looked into. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but from my memory, in the manga Kira's whole thing with his nails growing quicker when stressed/when his need to kill is getting too strong was only psychological. At least, I don't remember them growing the same way it's shown in the anime. I think this would've been something really interesting to deep dive into. The fact that he believes his nails grow when his need to kill is really high is really intriguing and the overall connection between hands and his killings are something I wanted to be fully developed more. I know it was kind of just a weird ass fetish but like..that's interesting!! this is interesting!!

I'll probably make an individual post to talk more abt him.

Plot

Where do I even begin. The plot of part 4 is all over the place. I loved many episodes, and I enjoyed when it leaned more into the slice of life style, but why the fuck where there like 3 seperate plots? Honestly, cut out Anjuro. His whole plot shit was annoying as hell. Didn't care for him.

Akira's entire plot pissed me off. I only like this arc because of Okuyasu. Overall I found there to be a lot of plot holes and just annoying parts. Everything til Kira was like this for me. Like get to the REAL plot please.

The arrow annoyed me. I've never wanted to rip my hair out more than when Kira's dad got a hold of it. He was SO GODDAMN ANNOYING. I like the concept of Kira using the arrow to get allies or ways to cover up his plot, but most of the stand users that came out of this were annoying and Kira's dad was insufferable in the worst way possible.

I think something I wish was more covered by the plot is the aftermath of Part 3 and Dio in general. This is something that CDDH (best jojo spinoff) covers really nicely, however. Go read it.

I also just in general think more should've been done w Okuyasu's dad, as he is a direct aftermath of Dio.

I feel like a lot of the women in Part 4 were set up to have strong, actually plot-influencing roles, but then were totally side-lined. I'm going to make a full post abt this tho.

Reimi being connected to Rohan never made sense to me. Just narratively speaking, why did you connect the main motivation for catching Kira to a side antagonist instead of the main character? This is slightly fueled by my hate for Rohan but like, c'mon! I think it would've made more sense to 1. just not include Rohan so fucking much and 2. connect Reimi to Josuke's past.

Speaking of Josuke's past, I feel like it just..needed more. Or at least, I think something needed to be done with the boy who saved him. I can appreciate the idea of it connecting to a theme of the general kindness of strangers, but you don't see that theme pop up as much in the rest of the plot. Also, I again would've connected Reimi to Josuke because WHY ISN’T SHE CONNECTED TO THE MAIN CHARACTER OH MY GOD

Overall tho I like the vibes of part 4, i really enjoyed different arcs and characters, and I just wish Araki got more time to flesh everything out and refocus on certain themes and characters.

[fictionkinfessions]

Sometimes you have your top kin get so strong, so undeniably You(tm) in all aspects, that you just do not have clear timelines for your mems anymore.

"Oh well then maybe some of those mems arent actu-"

Every Single Thing I Say About Dottore Is A Mem unless specifically stated otherwise. If I start typing something immediately, its a mem. It is undeniably correct in my brain, even if I said something contradictory the day before. I cannot properly put it into words. I have about 3 piles of consistent mems then a bunch of other mems scattered on the floor that don't line up with the piles. Perhaps when I finally release and get proper screen time I'll get a properly unfading timeline, as the existing piles all ceased being the Main Thing in the shifts.

I'd say this is partially a product of being Every Segment. In one of those consistent piles I was one conciousness in several bodies. So One Brain contains the memories of many different bodies. Of course contradictions would surface. It seems to just come with the territory of Being Dottore.

I swear I must sound "fake" to anyone else who listens. Sure people often say mems are not a requirement for kinning, a very correct statement of course, but nobody ever really comments on inconsistent memories. Not to say I feel invalid of course, moreso this experience is so difficult to explain, and one I have not heard others experience before, that I'm sure other people would surely think I'm making it up.

I couldn't even begin to theorize on how this happened outside of He is Simply Me Real. We are the Same Person. And I know every time we get more canon lore more and more people out there must think I'm insane and/or stupid for being so open about Being Dottore Real. But I don't care. Trust me I have tried to get this guy to die down in my head but he is always in the background (metaphorically speaking. I personify my thoughts so apologies if it gets confusing). It's so easy to fall into a shift with the right poking and prodding, even when I try to avoid it because whenever he DOES make it out of his cage, he stays in the shift for AGES (metaphorical again).

I'm kind of just rambling at this point- But I don't know, the way my Dottore kinning functions is so wildly intriguing to me. Perhaps its remnants of my breif stint of Delusional Symptoms. (Gotta love getting psychosis symptoms due to chronic depression. Glad I learned that was a thing.) Perhaps he is just that strong of a kin at this point. I'll never know Why. But I love trying to explain it.

So perhaps someone on the blog will be intrigued by my brain as well.

~Il Dottore 🕯♟ (Genshin Impact)

x

[silverslipstream]

ocean's vent-leven

cw: references to depression and suicide/self-harm

okay, so this is a reasonably happier vent post than my last one, but it's still kind of a vent regarding my feelings so I guess my shitty bad jokes of shoehorning the word 'vent' into film titles will continue, as part of my eternal effort to treat everything I cannot emotionally tolerate or compartmentalise with at least a modicum of humour. whew. off to a good start here. yesterday (friday 10th may) I was absolutely paralysed by depression. this is usually the point where I make a joke about being paralysed in a physical sense by my cerebral palsy, because the societally-expected reaction to my trauma is to make light of it and show people I am broken in a way they can pretend not to notice (a way I can pretend to be fine with them pretending not to notice, and they can see me pretending to be fine and think it's fine to continue pretending not to notice). BUT since I am learning to love myself and cut down on negative language even in jest, I will not say this. instead, I will talk about this depression.

it was horrible. unceasing. it pushed onward and onward from around 2AM in the morning until just before 7AM, when I retreated to my bed instead of my desk. I thought I could sleep, but I just dozed intermittently, never quite achieving that downy state of blissful surrender. woke up for my 10:15 alarm, because I had a lecture at 11:15, and I just. couldn't. fucking face it. it wasn't even a chronic pain thing, physically I was fine. the lecture (and the lecture after that) just seemed to be wobbling like a heat haze at the end of a very long tunnel. I rolled over and resolutely ignored the clock on my phone until I knew I'd missed the lecture. fuck. why are you so fucking lazy? there's only one week of lectures left in second year, my brain screamed at me, and you have four assignments unfinished, three not even STARTED THAT ARE DUE BY THE END OF THE MONTH WHYDOYOUNEVERDOANYTHINGWHYDOYOUIGNORETHETHINGSYOU'RESUPPOSEDTOLOVE-

I passed in and out of sleep and missed the 1:15 lecture too. my friend messaged me asking to pick up the poem notes I'd meant to give him the day before. I was asleep and didn't see the message. the notes are still in my room in my flat and I am at my grandmother's house. if that friend is reading this, know that I am deeply sorry for that and that I love you and did not mean to frustrate you by not fulfilling that objective. the truth is that, in that transient fuzzy sleep that was less about rest and more about hating the clarity of wakefulness, I felt like my whole LIFE was one unfulfilled objective. I couldn't be born right, I couldn't be the son my parents wanted (they had to draft in a hurried substitute), I couldn't be a friend right, I couldn't stay in one place right, I couldn't do my useless fucking stupid fucking waste of a degree right. I couldn't even have the decency to die by my own hand and instead turned it into a whole fucking drama that ruined my friendship group and forced me to come out to my parents.

in that horrible clear moment, the future of my life seemed to be a flashbulb gallery of microwave dinners and empty booze bottles and hospital waiting rooms, alone alone alone. a slideshow of a man literally and figuratively shuffling through life towards the river styx and not even noticing the water until it was past his rusted-shut bear trap of a mouth.

but it's because of that love (the love I have for you and my other friends too, look at me rhyming like I'm motherfucking Seuss) that I got up this morning and realised, that future can stay with all the futures I've imagined in my head. all the apocalypses, all the dystopias, the sci-fi speculations and the post-apoc predictions. they're the same thing, I realised. fictions in my head. my fears manifested into virtual realities, screens through which I can handle my pain and show it to the world without putting twenty pairs of 'palatable-humour' gloves on. that future is just another fictional apocalypse, and just because it's closer to me doesn't mean I should feel powerless to thwart it.

it is because I love my friends that I must pass my assignments. next year we will be moving into a flat together and I need to pass this year to make that happen. because I need to make more memories. I need to cultivate this love and give it the water I withheld so many times in my past, in those other chapters of my life. I will make these memories not because I need them, not because I see them as something scarce worth clinging to or as a method of compensating for my deprivations, but because I love you. we will all drink together and we will play stupid card games and watch films and cry and laugh and argue and drag each other out of bed at 6AM to wash our dishes and I will cook too much food on purpose because I will know you haven't eaten and because sharing a meal with friends is the fastest way to find out what the gods tasted when the first mouthfuls of ambrosia passed their lips.

to borrow one of my all-time favourite cheesy film one--liners, today we are cancelling the apocalypse.

[highwaytothedangerzone502]

Ghost Story - Chapter 25

Pairing: Rooster x Female OC

Word Count: 3021

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: No one will miss a ghost. It'd been a running joke for as long as anyone could remember, something Ghost herself started, and she always said it with a smile on her face or with mirth in her voice. The untouchable stealth pilot in every sense of the word, no one could've predicted the depth of her turmoil over recent events, nor the extremes she would go to in order to protect the man she loved, not even those closest to her. Now, all that was left of the young aviator for Maverick, Hangman, and Rooster were the memories of the past, which would slowly fade with time. She'd come into their lives and made an unforgettable impression, and then, like a ghost, she was gone... Then again, ghosts can't die a second time.

Notes: The chapters/large parts in italics are flashbacks.

Chapter Songs: Marry Me Stand

****

Ghost

Ghost slid down the side of the warehouse, furious with herself as more tears streamed down her face. Between the stress of the upcoming mission, her fallout with Rooster, and now the phone call from her mom, she couldn't control it. Everything was crashing down around her, and all Ghost wanted was to go see Rooster and pull him into a hug, but she was positive he wanted nothing to do with her right now. Any civility he showed towards her this morning had most likely been an act to divert any suspicion about their newfound tension.

"You're not having an allergy attack, are you?" Maverick's gentle question sounded next to Ghost, causing her to jump. She hadn't even heard him approach.

"No, sir," she admitted, tucking her arms and legs as tightly as she could against her chest.

He nodded understandingly and took a seat beside her. "Talk to me, Ghost."

"I'm fine, really, I just… I just need to get my shit together," she mumbled, rubbing her face.

"You're not okay," he said. "Penny and I clocked that the minute we saw you this morning."

Ghost groaned. "Shit… is anyone else aware?"

"Other than Bryn, Rooster, and Hangman? No. I think they're all too hungover to recognize anything's wrong. So what's bothering you?"

"Where do you want me to start?" Ghost replied dismally. "The mission, my mother, or Rooster?"

"Whichever's easiest for you to start with, or whichever's bothering you the most."

Ghost sighed and shook her head. "I don't want to drag you down with this. You already listened to me vent yesterday. I promise I'm not always an emotional trainwreck.

"Annalise," Maverick began, catching her off guard by using her first name, "every one of those pilots in there is like a kid to me, and if any of them were having issues, I'd be there for them. I may not have known you as long as them, but I care about you just as much. I don't have to give you advice if you don't want it. I can simply provide an ear, but I'll say you can't have all this hanging over you when the mission comes because you need a clear head going into it. So, talk to me, Ghost."

As much as she hated it, the words came tumbling out of her mouth at the fatherly concern and compassion in Maverick's tone. "Mom is sick, and she sounded terrible over the phone just now, but she won't tell me what's wrong or where she even is, and that's scaring me. Mom's always been straightforward in her answers, so when she deflects, it worries me. Plus, she's getting sentimental, and she was never one to do that. She's been telling me I'll do great on the mission when she and I both know it's practically a suicide mission, which that is freaking me out, but I've already told you my woes about bringing a wingman, excluding the fact it physically pains me at the idea of losing you, Hangman, Rooster, and I'd rather risk going on the mission alone than choose one of you and have you die because of a decision I made."

Ghost glanced at her screen when an incoming text came through from Rooster: I should've stayed last night, and I know you don't want me bothering you, but are you okay?

His question made a fresh knot form in her throat, and it reminded her that Rooster had chosen to protect himself and his heart over her. Of course, she had no right to judge. Hadn't she done that in the last few years to him? Only risking being with him when they were about to part ways in some shape or form to avoid having her heart broken by letting him in too much?

"All right, that covers the mission and your mom. What's going on with you and Rooster?" Maverick prodded with impeccable timing. He must've seen Rooster's name pop up on her phone. "You two seemed to be doing okay last night."

"What do you mean?" Ghost replied, her heart skipping a beat at the light, teasing tone in her companion's voice. He hadn't… oh God, what if he had?

"Got up to get some water and saw you two all over each other in the kitchen. Decided to let you two be and went back to bed."

Ghost let out a sigh of relief. At least he'd only seen that. Still, the idea that they'd been caught made heat rise in her cheeks. "Sorry…"

Maverick chuckled. "No apologies. So what happened that made you two crash and burn so fast?"

"I told him about the mission. He didn't take it well, and I think any hope we had of being together is truly gone this time. The shitty part is that I can't even be mad at him for being upset. God, the way he looked at me when I told him it was a suicide mission… it's like he couldn't decide if he wanted to kiss me or kill me himself." Ghost braced her head in her hand, staring at a squashed bug on the pavement with rapidly blurring vision. "I can't lose anyone else, Maverick. I've lost my dad, I've lost my sister… I'm worried I'm about to lose my mom even though all I have to go on are a few weird calls with her. I can't watch someone else die. If I take Rooster, the chances of him surviving are slim to none. If I don't, he'll never forgive me, and I'd rather die having him hate me than let him on this mission."

"He doesn't hate you. Far from it. Part of the reason Penny and I figured out you weren't having an allergy attack is because of the way he kept looking at you. He almost came out here instead of me, but Penny and I made the mutual decision it was probably best he didn't. I had a feeling you weren't ready to face him yet."

"You wouldn't be wrong."

Maverick stood up and extended his hand out for Ghost. She took it and stood up, brushing the dirt off her butt. Maverick said, "When you're ready, he'll be waiting for you because you two are like me and Penny: no matter what happens between the two of you, you can't stay away from each other. But first, I think you need to get some rest. Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Maybe an hour or two. I couldn't fall back asleep after the conversation with Rooster."

"Being exhausted isn't helping your stress. I want you to go back into that warehouse and take a nap. I know you don't have anything going on today, so no arguments."

"You gonna use your dad tone with me?" Ghost joked.

"If I must, yes," Maverick replied with a grin. "Once you've rested, you'll be able to think with a clearer head, alright?"

"Yes, sir." Ghost gave him a two-finger salute. Then she sobered up quickly and hugged Maverick before she could stop herself. "Thank you for all your help and for putting up with me."

Maverick returned the embrace willingly. "I know I'm not your dad, and I can never replace him, but if you ever need anything, I am here for you, Annalise."

The heartwarming offer and his fatherly embrace made fresh tears spill down her cheeks. When she pulled away, Ghost angrily wiped them off. "God, I hate crying, and I hate the fact part of it's over a guy, but God damn, if Rooster doesn't know how to get under my skin without even fucking meaning to."

"No one can hurt you more than the ones you love," Maverick said, a flicker of understanding in his eyes.

Ghost nodded. "Do I look like I've been crying?"

"Except for Rooster, Bryn, and Hangman, it's like I said earlier, the others are too hungover to notice something's actually wrong. I think if you keep your head down going to the couch, you'll be fine."

Thanking him, Ghost returned to the hangar with Maverick, parting ways to amble sleepily to the couch. Grabbing a blanket, she curled up in a ball at the corner of the sofa and, within seconds, was out like a light.

****

Ghost groggily woke up hours later to the sound of shouts and laughter in the kitchen and quiet conversation surrounding her. Opening her eyes, she found Maverick, Penny, Bryn, Hangman, Phoenix, Bob, and-

"Bradley," Mav said, "you with us?"

Rooster glanced up from staring at a spot on the floor with a dazed look. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry, I didn't sleep much last night."

"How come?"

"I can't sleep whenever I drink too much alcohol," he lied with a shrug, dropping his gaze from Mav's. 

Or when you decide to break things off for good with the girl you're in love with. Ghost thought morosely, thinking back to last night and the image of Rooster walking away burned into her memory, how she regretted telling him the deadliness of the mission when she knew how he'd react.

"Ghost?" Hangman queried, leaning forward into her peripheral. He sat next to her with his hand resting on her ankle. "Ah, Sleeping Beauty awakes!"

"How are you feeling?" Maverick asked.

"Like I could sleep for another ten hours and then some," Ghost admitted. She pushed herself up into a sitting position and stretched. "I also think I need to move around. Pretty sure I haven't changed positions since I fell asleep."

"You haven't," Hangman confirmed, patting her leg. "We had to check that you were alive a few times and hadn't truly lived up to your callsign and become a ghost."

She chuckled. "No, you're still stuck with me."

"You make it sound like a bad thing." Hangman stood up and offered his hand. "Go for a walk?"

Ghost accepted and stood up, careful not to look in Rooster's direction because she didn't want to see the kicked-puppy expression she knew he wore. She and Hangman strolled outside and onto the jogging path Maverick had created long ago. For a while, neither side a word, merely enjoying the other's presence. Ghost remembered when she and Hangman used to sneak off the base to go for walks, their little reprieve from the stress of school and work, how she used to sneak out of her house to meet him for walks along the river. Those memories were a lifetime ago, yet, all these years later, they still found themselves falling into old habits.

"You gonna tell me why you really couldn't sleep last night?" Hangman inquired, lightly bumping his elbow into hers. "Because that sure as hell wasn't an allergy attack."

"Long story short, Rooster and I had a disagreement, and when he started to walk away, I gave him the option of staying to work it out or nothing ever happening between us again if he walked off, and he chose the latter."

Hangman shook his head. "You two will work it out. You always do."

"No, I think this is it. And I don't blame him for walking away after what we discussed. He's protecting himself."

"From what, exactly?"

"His heart being broken. Guess I'm one to talk, though. I've done the same thing before. But anyway, we'll move past it. How have you been?" Ghost asked, desperate to change the topic. She briefly checked her phone when it started vibrating with an incoming call, but not recognizing the number, she ignored it. "I feel like we've barely seen each other recently."

"I'm good, fixing up my apartment, upgrading Ruby, not much else."

"No dates?"

"Nah, no dates."

"How come? Not interested in dating or not interested in any girls?"

"Neither," he replied. His short answer surprised Ghost. Since when did Hangman not elaborate on things? He loved talking.

"Okay, so if it's not one of those, that must mean you're interested in someone, but they're not interested back?" Ghost guessed.

Hangman nodded. "Yeah."

"Let me guess, Phoenix?"

He snapped his head to look at her. "You think I like Phoenix?"

"You treat her like you're an elementary school boy with a crush, always taunting and teasing her to get her attention."

"I probably have a better chance with Phoenix than with-" Hangman stopped himself short. "Never mind."

Ghost stopped and grabbed onto Hangman's elbow. "Hey, since when do you keep secrets from me? What's going on with you?"

"Nothing, it's nothing," he protested.

"It's not nothing. I know when you're lying to me because I know you better than anyone."

"It doesn't seem like that's the case right now, does it?"

"Did I do something wrong?" Ghost demanded exasperatedly, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. Her phone buzzed again in her pocket. She continued to ignore it. "You're being short and avoiding basic questions I've always asked you."

Hangman shoved his fists into his pockets. "Fine. I hate seeing you with Bradshaw, especially when he keeps luring you in and then breaking your heart, and I know you know, but you keep going back to him? Why?"

Ghost hesitated, even though fully aware of the truthful response: I love him. Her silence provided Hangman the answer too. "Is he the reason you broke up with me?"

"What?'

"Did you break up with me so you could try things with him?"

"No, we weren't even being stationed together. I-"

"Then why did you break with me? You never actually gave me a clear answer. Did you not want to do long-distance? Did you not love me anymore?"

"I didn't break up with you because I stopped loving you!" Ghost said hotly, offended by the suggestion. "You started acting the same way you did when you were about to break up with me the first time, being distant, being quiet, and I got scared you were about to do it again, so I got ahead of it and-"

"I wasn't planning on breaking up with you! I was planning on asking you to marry me!" Hangman interrupted heatedly. The bombshell stunned Ghost into silence, and she stared wide-eyed at him, barely able to process his words. Meanwhile, the outburst seemed to have exhausted the fight in Hangman because his shoulders sagged as he admitted quietly, "I was getting nervous, and I guess I unintentionally started distancing myself from you so you wouldn't get suspicious or-or think I was hiding something from you. Turns out you did anyway."

Ghost could barely form a coherent sentence, but she managed to stammer out, "I-wh-why didn't you come after me?"

"Because, except for Bradshaw, you don't give second chances to people, especially those who hurt you."

"I gave you a second chance," Ghost pointed out, her arms tightening ever more across her chest. Her heart sank lower and lower into her chest, and she had no doubt it would end up on the ground if she kept talking to Hangman.

"It was a second chance I didn't deserve. You asked if the girl I'm interested in isn't interested back, and the answer is yes, because while I know you love me, you're no longer in love with you the way that I am with you, the way I've always been, and I kept quiet because I didn't want to lose you as a friend-"

"Jake, you could never lose me," Ghost breathed, her voice hitching.

"I know that now, but seeing you after all this time and seeing you chase after Bradshaw, it reminds me how much I'm still in love with you, and I think I need some distance to move past it."

Words failed her as Ghost watched Hangman walk off with his head down. Her phone buzzed again, and, annoyed, she pulled it out of her pocket to see a familiar name flashing on the screen. Sniffling and taking a deep breath, she answered deceptively calmly, "Hey, Wolfman. What's up?"

"Hey, Ghost, has the hospital tried calling you?"

Dread settled in her bones. "The hos- I don't think so. Why would the hospital be trying to call me?"

Ghost listened to Wolfman, her legs becoming jelly the more he spoke. It took all her effort not to drop to her knees and sob in despair, but she couldn't. Ghost had to go to the hospital. "Th-thanks, Wolf. I'll head there now."

Numbly, she hung up and shoved her phone into her pocket. Ghost needed to run. She needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible because who knew how much time remained, but her legs refused to move any faster, threatening to collapse if any more burdens weighed down upon her shoulders. Wordlessly, she slipped into the hangar and grabbed her belongings. No one paid any attention to her, the ghost in the group, or so she thought.

"Ghost," Hangman said, cautiously approaching her, "when I said I wanted distance, I didn't mean for you to leave here. I-"

"Don't flatter yourself," Ghost said flatly, refusing to look him in the eye. She shouldn't have been so hostile, but she wanted to push him away because now Ghost understood why it was easier for Rooster to turn his back on attachment: it hurt so much less than the grief that came with it, and she'd rather be alone than ever feel the way she did now.

"Hey, where are you going?" Maverick asked, approaching the exes.

"Something critical came up, and I need to go see what's going on," Ghost answered, throwing on her jacket. Over Mav's shoulder, she could see Rooster peering over at them and attempting to figure out what was going on. "Thank you for everything, Maverick. I owe you."

She ached to hug him, but in doing so, Ghost might break, and she had to hold onto that last shred of strength until she got to the hospital. Nodding goodbye, she strode to her motorcycle and hopped on. Ghost gripped the bike for dear life as she raced back to town and to the hospital, praying she'd make it in time.

****

Tags: @supernaturaldawning @shanimallina87 @polikszena @lgg5989 @callsign-milano @bradshawsandbridgetons @harper1666 @shadeops21 @double-j @copaceticwriter @rotating-obsessions @sharkprestige @thedarkinmansfield @lapilark @mickeyluvs @starshipfantasy @bennypears00 @mandowife221b @the-navistar-carol @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth @carmellasworld @0hb0llocks @nicangelinee @summ3rlotus @3picklesinajar @magentamistress @the-other-hawkeye @elisha-chloe @emilymarie105 @persephone11110 @luckyladycreator2 @boogdleyboo @k0k3 @bibissparkles @lilmonstrjedi @stinkyrat09 @cocoag19 @suburbzchick @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @goodstuff28 @georgiasimpson95 @horselovers2016 @tanithpriad125 @davidshawnsown @sowolfstudentme @agagafafa @callmemana @sec17 @brxklyn15 @h0ppy0the0sheep @tomanybandstolove @abigailannz @mini-bee-bee

Chapters: Chp 1 Chp 2 Chp 3 Chp 4 Chp 5 Chp 6 Chp 7 Chp 8 Chp 9 Chp 10 Chp 11 Chp 12 Chp 13 Chp 14 Chp 15 Chp 16 Chp 17 Chp 18 Chp 19 Chp 20 Chp 21 Chp 22 Chp 23 Chp 24 Chp 25

[theadventurerslog]

King's Quest VII: The Princeless Bride | Part 3

The Adventurer’s Log

King’s Quest VII: The Princeless Bride Part 3

Chapter Three: "The sky is falling!"

Previously Valanice was trying to find a way out of the desert to keep up her search for Rosella. A tunnel was opened but we left her confronting a beast...

A beast I couldn't deal with just yet as I didn't have what I needed here, so I had to make a hasty retreat.

All I was missing was a prickly pear which was just outside waiting to be knocked down by my handy dandy previously unused stick. Then I fed it to the beast and could carry on.

num num num then back into the hole it went.

And I came out into a pretty forest-y area in quite a contrast to the desert.

I quite like this screen. It's pretty. I could only examine the broken bridge and the statue, but there was nothing else to do here.

I came across a stag.

The stag is actually the Lord of the Hunt. He was transformed though he doesn't know by whom. The tree is truly Ceres, the Goddess of Nature, and his wife. She was cursed as well with a stake driven into her. Attis knows such power could only come from one from Etheria, but such a thing would be unthinkable.

He also warns Valanice to stay away from the Were-Woods as the weres will attack.

When asking about Rosella by using the comb he informs her he had heard of her and that she was to be wed to King Otar III. Valanice needs to rescue her! He advises she go to Falderal to seek help in finding a salve from a merchant that would allow Valanice to pass through the Were-Woods and find the way to the Volcanix Underground.

I continued on and found a web in which a bird was trapped and a spider was getting ready to eat her.

I wasn't entirely sure what to do yet, though I managed to get myself killed by the spider oops. I moved on a little more to find a giant snoring statue that I also couldn't do anything about.

Turns out I just needed to use the basket to trap the spider. The bird thanked me and flew off to freedom. The web was cleared away opening the route to Falderal.

The guard at the gate peeking in through the giant gate, refused to me let me pass unless I were to bring him the holy one ton tomato. Valanice thought that was absurd. So, it was time to find another route.

But first I realized I wanted to go back to some flowers I'd found where another of the birds had been and see if my freed bird was there. I'd missed some dialogue from Attis as well.

Attis: Valanice asks if there's anyway she can help lift the curse. He doesn't know, but Feldspar the stone spirit might know something. Unfortunately, that would be the snoring stone statue I don't have any way to deal with yet. I also tried to pull the stake from Ceres but no such luck thanks to the powerful magic. There's fear she may die and if she does the forest likely will as well.

Bird: my freed bird did have help for me! Nectar from the flowers. I had to empty my pot of water, but now I have a pot of sweet nectar.

Back to Falderal where the very complicated puzzle of entering took place.

Walk through the small door ignoring the 'threats' of the guard. He has quite a selection of empty threats of various small animals with weapons on the other side.

Time for silliness!

As soon as I'd entered town I was greeted by the mayor, Archduke Fifi le Yipyap who protested a human entering. However, getting sad over Rosella with the comb helped again and got him crying too. He also said something else that I missed between his accent and, er, slobberiness, to my annoyance because it caused me some trouble later. This is why subtitles matter!

Then Chicken Petite came running and screaming in about the sky falling. Yipyap brushed her off and went on his way.

With all that out of the way it was time to start exploring. I went to the China Shop first.

Bull in a china shop, heh. Conspicuous mask that will be needed.

The owner, named Fernando, was sad because he'd lost Treasure, a bird who's a very dear friend to him. She was stolen, though he doesn't know how or by whom. Couldn't do anything here in his current state, so with an offer to look for Treasure, I set off again.

And got accosted by Chicken Petite.

The sky is falling! An evil fairy (hmm) is making everything come down! But no one is really believing her so off she runs again.

The town hall couldn't be entered yet, but there was a note about the archduke's birthday party and masquerade ball. At the end of town were two more shops and a bird.

First: another instance of Chicken Petite. The shopkeeper tried to sell her some special glue to hold the sky up in the most sleazy snakeoil salesman voice. Apparently he's an eel of some sort or based off of? But definitely some snakiness intent happening here too. Poor Chicken Petite gets immensely frustrated again and runs off.

Second: bird in the tree. A mocking bird. He insults you every time you click on him and the list of insults goes on and on and...on...

Third: Faux Shop. Was currently closed.

Now, the salesman was the one I needed to talk to about getting a salve to get through the Were-wood. Of course it can't be that easy and he wants something in return: a magic statuette currently in the possession of the archduke. Valanice protests until he says it doesn't actually belong to the archduke, then she agrees. Anything to save her daughter! Rampant adventurer theft included. True adventure game protagonist Valanice now?

Off to the side was a covered cage which I naturally investigated and inside was none other than the little bird, Treasure, who was scared at first until Valanice explained she'd talked to Fernando and that he was looking for her. Treasure joined and surprisingly that was all that was required. The shopkeep didn't seem to notice.

I brought her back to Fernando who was delighted.

Look at him!

And in return he gave me that handy red mask. And it's party time.

You gotta wear the mask or the guard won't let you in--it is a maskerade after all--and is offended by Valanice's bald face, bare of fur or feathers.

Sadly there's not a lot to interact with here. Archduke Yipyap will give a little speech and you can eat a little of the cake. I would have liked to talk a little to some of the guests or have some background gossip but it is what it is.

Thankfully no one seems to have any issue with us doing a little poking around. Either that or they're all fixated on Yipyap. I was able to go in through the back door to some wacky stairs.

The stairs lead to a different set on the screen in a somewhat maze-like fashion but a pretty simple one if you just keep going. Eventually it will take you into another room.

The statue on the left is incredibly tacky according to the Valanice and "What a perfectly awful basin" in the centre. Not at all to Valanice's tastes here.

The mirrors act like funhouse mirrors causing different distorted reflections, except for one in which her reflection appears upside and drags her in. Spooky.

Although you just get pulled into Yipyap's office.

She thinks his portrait is very silly too. There's silliness everywhere, Valanice. That's this place's whole schtick.

There's some shenanigans here in which the door takes you back to the stairs room and you find your way to another door that takes you back here but with the room upside down. Then there's a drawer on the desk to investigate. The statuette falls out but because it's upside down you can't reach, so you go back around to the room right side up and the statuette falls back into the now-open drawer where it can be fetched.

Voila!

Naturally, it's not so simple from here as when I returned outside intending to give the statuette to the merchant he was away off to 'fool some other suckers' or similar. Then Chicken Petite came screaming back in and the moon fell! Well not really, she thinks so, but Valanice points out it's just green cheese. No, it's the moon! The sky really is falling! And off she runs again and the mockingbird flew off during all the raucous too.

There was a wooden nickel in the nest I was able to fetch, but I couldn't reach the cheese, I'm sorry moon.

This is where I got stuck because of missing the clue from Yipyap when first entering. The Faux Shop was apparently open now--no more notice--but when I tried entering I just popped out the other side of the wall. Honestly, I thought it was meant to be a joke. False shop and all. What you actually have to do is take it with a grain of salt. In other words eat the grains of salt gotten from the desert and then you can enter.

Faux shop full of fake things run by a mockturtle. I got a book, The Wit and Wisdom of Falderal for a wooden nickel. Examining it opens it and it's...empty.

I was also able to trade my mask for a prime rubber chicken, specifically the one smirking there. I'd rather not have that one and there's no pulley in it, pah.

I had a nice selection of items to try at the Eduardo's shop in the desert, which actually turned out to be the thing to do. I was able to trade the book for a shepherd's crook.

I was able to return and use the crook to get the cheese and all should be well...!

Nah, of course not.

Her face is a sight to behold.

But yeaaah, Archduke Yipyap and guards came charging in. Yipyap saw what she did. She stole the moon! And she's a human! And a partypooper! And the guard places accuses her of that and the 'heinous and disgusting crime of having no fur or feathers to cover your bald face.'

And so we end the chapter with Valanice arrested...

And onto chapter 4!

Chapter Four: "Will the real troll king please stand up."

And a needed break from Yipyap and Chicken Petite...

--

Deaths: 8 Time: 3:49

[psychologeek]

Suicide Prevention resources

And other mental health resources for use of the public. (Also fic recs.)

In case you're interested (and haven't noticed), chapter 17 of "Some of Them" has been published.

this chapter contains Damian and Tim having a Conversation. (Shocking, I know.)

This series deals with hard/dark topics, though non-graphic, as I try to keep it low-rate.

About suicide

Why do I make this post?

I have several fanfics that deal with mental health issues, include one about suicide and healing (that was written in co-op), fso it's a post I've been considering writing for a long time.

Writing "Sweet Dreams" made it even more crucial, as it contains a main character's suicide attempt (on screen, not detailed) and the mindset. I had the scene I couldn't add to that fic.

(so I wrote a 3-shot sequel. Which I'm currently on chapter 20 of 😭😭)

I had this written since “sweet Dreams”. This scene is the reason I wrote this fic. This I wrote in August: I don't know how, but I want somewhere when he goes "I failed, I couldn't even die" And someone answers "No, you succeeded. You succeeded to survive, even through everything you've been through. Even though your brain was fighting against you, you managed to survive. And you are so, so brave for it". Bc it's so important to say it. The way we talk about things matter. When we define "sucsessed/failed" suicide by "dead/not", instead of succeeded/failed to SURVIVE, it matters. And refraining it, surviving as an act of strength and success... I feel like it can help others, too. This was a reframe that really helped me.

I'd try not to spoil, but in SoT mental health issues are... very present. Not only in the way we usually see it in media, but also in the more slippery ways. The ways that your mind is wired around things you can't stop picking. Things like hypervigilence and expecting for the worst (even when it won't come) and the ways we hurt those we love-

Those are all present there.

(I can write a more detailed post about it, if anyone's interested.)

And.

The road it took in chapter 15, wasn't something I planned.

But once it came, I couldn't ignore it.

(Because we don't talk about it, and people who feel the same things keep believing it's their fault, that they are damaged, that they are bad.

Because we can't look away.

Please don't look away.)

And in a way, I think -

(I'm doing for the little girl I was, that no one ever saw her warning signs, because no one looked closely. I'm writing it for the friends I've lost and for those who are still fighting.

I'm writing it for you, dear, because you are IMPORTANT and UNIQUE and UMEXCHANGEABLE, no matter what your mind may lie.)

Some things:

Suicidality is a real thing, a real issue, and we need to talk about it.

Yes - kids do commit suicide. That's why knowing the signs and how to help is so important.

(you can't find if you look away)

We need to talk about child suicidality.

Kids DO suffer from mental health issues, and we sse suicide attempts at kids as young as 6/7.

Ignoring it, or saying "it won't happen to me/my kids/friends", only lowers the chances to help those who need it.

You can live with suicidality.

It's hard, but you can have GOOD and HAPPY life, even if things look very very hopeless now.

It can get better, even if for some of us it may come-and-go as things change in life.

Suicidality is, sometimes, sort of a coping mechanism. When it feels like the only way to escape, to make things stop. To make the pain end.

It's a normal reaction to abnormal situation.

(As said by my Ex*, who tried to commit suicide at 19. And this saying helped me through a rough time.)

*Last time I heard from him, he was in his 30s, married with 3 kids. It was a Facebook post about a hobby craft, and he seemed proud of himself.

I know.

I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts since I was twelve.

(And I'm still here.)

~

About the situation in chapter (and fic in general)

Let me be clear - Tim is also a kid. Damian's mental health shouldn't be his responsibility.

HOWEVER in real life, just like in comics, sometimes things aren't optimal. Sometimes a younger brother or a friend is telling you something and asking you to keep it a secret.

Sometimes things change, and you're scared about them. And that is part of what I'm trying to show here. And hopefully help someone.

Depression (Signs & Symptoms)

Depression affects how people think and feel about themselves, and how they act. The signs can be subtle and easy to miss. Someone who is depressed might:

act irritable or easily annoyed

be self-critical, focus on failures, or feel guilty

lose interest in friends, activities, or school, or stop enjoying things they used to enjoy

engage in risky behaviors, like drug and alcohol use, or self-harm

sleep too little or too much or have a change in eating habits

have low energy or trouble concentrating

complain of headaches, bellyaches, or other pain

say things like “I wish I were dead” or “It would be easier if I weren’t here anymore”

Suicide -

Immediate warning signs that someone may be thinking of suicide include:

talking about suicide or death in general

looking online for ways to kill oneself or buying items to use in a suicide attempt

talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live

engaging in self-destructive behavior (drinking a lot of alcohol, taking drugs, driving too fast, or cutting, for example)

visiting or calling people to say goodbye

giving away possessions

If you're not sure what do I mean, try to look up in the fic - does Damian show any warning signs? Do you see warning signs in anyone else's behaviour?

Feel free to take it to the next level, and consider:

Do you think Tim acted properly?

What would you do if it was your younger sibling?

A friend?

~

Sources:

For Parents:

How to talk to kids and teens about suicide, age-appropriate (Utah University).

Tackling the topic of suicide with your child – a guide to having the conversation (Black Dog institution)

 

What to do when someone is at risk

Have an honest conversation

Talk to them in private

Listen to their story

Tell them you care about them

Ask directly if they are thinking about suicide

Encourage them to seek treatment or contact their doctor or therapist

Avoid debating the value of life, minimizing their problems or giving advice.

 

For teens (but can be useful for adults as well):

My Friend Is Talking About Suicide. What Should I Do?

en español: Mi amigo está hablando sobre el suicidio. ¿Qué debería hacer?

[chirurgy]

All I remember of utk2 is the bopping soundtrack

[kaasknot]

Please take this as an offense but I am absolutely fascinated by your current obsession with Buster Keaton and went back through your account to figure out what rabbit hole led to this but couldn't figure it out. If you're okay with sharing can you tell me the rabbit hole that led to this?

OFFENS TAKEN no but okay it's really kind of dumb. this past january someone reblogged a buster keaton post, i assume a stunts gifset because those get numbers, and i hit up his tag on a whim to see what was what.

now, at the time i was writing an OC character for star wars. and while i knew just about everything else important about this character, i didn't have a clear idea of what he looked like. but i was scrolling through pics of this old-timey comedian and it slowly dawned on me: my character looks kind of like buster keaton. official facecast made.

and honestly, that's why i came back to the tag a second time. if it hadn't been for that association, i probably would have forgotten about buster and moved on. but, once a month or so i'd jump back in the buster keaton tag, refresh my memory on my OC's face situation, and then jump back out.

till eventually i guess it hit critical mass, and all of a sudden in late may i'm hitting up the buster tag… because i'm thirsty for buster. i pretty clearly remember a series of gifsets around The General that made me go "…damn, son."

gonna wax rhapsodic here for a bit. let's get the most obvious point out of the way: buster keaton is pretty. he's got cheekbones and big eyes and a profile to die for. and he's ripped, because he's a goddamn acrobat. like, his vastus medialis continually makes me go "that can't be real." also, he's a short king. a small little guy. 5'5", and perfectly willing to make jokes about it—and that kind of security is hotter than the surface of the sun.

he's also ridiculously funny. he made his career on that, you'd kind of hope he would be; but specifically it's funny to me. his sense of humor matches mine perfectly: wry, ironic, a touch of the absurd/surrealistic, leaning to black humor, and with minimal use of sticky substances or stupidity. i have so much trouble with modern comedy because 90% of the time it's just so dumb. buster keaton movies are not dumb. his hero is a clever little shithead—if somewhat naive and literal-minded—with abysmal luck, who gets into awkward situations and does his clever best to get himself back out. i vibe with it.

and then obvs his stunts. the more of his movies i watch the more i mutter "how did he not die?" and "is he made of rubber bands and cotton balls??" his physicality is so satisfying to watch, and not just in a prurient way (tho i am definitely also watching in a prurient way). this is a man with supreme control over his body and a thorough understanding of physical comedy. he was pulling out pratfalls well into his 60s, yo.

and the more of his movies i watch (especially in comparison to roscoe arbuckle's movies), the more i appreciate how good of a filmmaker he was. he let the story do the talking, rather than clutter up the screen with intertitles. his precise use of camera angles, the astonishingly good cinematography, the use of the camera itself to sell a gag (i.e. the dream sequence in Sherlock, Jr.). i saw a letterboxd review call The General "mad max fury railroad" and i haven't been able to get that out of my head, because y e a h, his editing was as precise as margaret sixel's. i watched "One Week" after watching all of the arbuckle shorts he was in, and lemme tell you, my third eye was blown wide open. "oh," i said to myself. "i get why people call him a genius."

and from a frothing fangirl perspective, he has built in artificial scarcity. his smile is rare, his voice is rare, shirtless scenes are rare. (in reality, none of these things are particularly hard to find in his films, but like i say to everyone who sits still long enough for me to yammer at them, their perceived scarcity makes them so much more compelling. when you hear him say "pass" in Sunset Boulevard you quiver like you're catching sight of ankles in the 1800s). it encourages thirsting.

the more i learn about him the more obsessed i get.

[helloalycia]

overstepping [one] // jane banner (Wind River)

summary: after getting several voicemails from your colleague and best friend with her asking for your backup, you attempt to call her back, only to get no answer.

warning/s: mentions of rape, murder and injuries.

author’s note: this is a two parter because i finally watched Wind River and it broke my heart but also lizzie was v cute and i felt the need to write this, hope you like it x

part two | masterlist | wattpad

"C'mon, work you stupid phone," I complained for the millionth time, before standing on the chair to get a better signal.

When I saw the bars in the corner of the screen increase, a grin appeared on my lips. I loved my parents, but the fact that they lived in a remote cabin in Tennessee with zero signal was not my favourite thing.

When the bars remained, my phone decided to actually be helpful and receive all the messages, calls and voicemails I missed. I did a brief flick through, noticing nothing was too important that couldn't wait for me to return to work. As an FBI agent, I rarely got time off. And now that I had taken a two month vacation to spend with my parents, I was adamant on enjoying it, even if I was missing work a smidge.

Next were the calls, which I noticed were mostly from my colleague and close friend, Jane Banner. I furrowed my brows, realising she'd left me several voicemails, too, which was strange since she knew I was on a break from work. What could be so important?

I sighed, glancing down at my uncomfortable position standing on the chair and leaning above the wardrobe. It was the only place in the house with decent signal and the only other place that wasn’t in the middle of nowhere was twenty minutes out. Telling myself I'd just listen to one voicemail to make sure everything was okay, I played the earliest message.

"Hey, Y/N. I'm sorry, I know you're on a break, but I just had to talk to you," it began, and Jane sounded troubled. "I was in Vegas, as you know, but I've been called out to a reservation in Wyoming where this poor girl was–" She paused, releasing a shaky breath. "She was raped and left to die out in the cold. I thought I could send in another team to take a look – y'know, usual protocol. But the coroner won't rule it a homicide and you know what that means."

I swallowed hard, knowing exactly what that meant. If it wasn't ruled a homicide, no backup would come and we had to move onto the next case. But if this girl was raped and left to die, the rapist was still out there and wasn't getting caught by the FBI.

"I can't just leave it and go," Jane continued quietly, with that recognisable passion for her job evident in her voice. "I have to do what I can. But I... I can't do this alone. It's not like other cases, Y/N. It's different out here. And there's only so much their police department can do. I know you're on a break, but I was hoping that, maybe, you could come out here and help me? It's the Wind River Indian Reservation. That's it, I guess. Bye."

The message ended and I found myself chewing on my lower lip anxiously, unable to think about anything other than Jane now. She'd worried me with that one voicemail alone – I couldn't imagine what the others said.

She was usually so good at dealing with cases, but this seemed different. She sounded shaken up, attempting to put on a brave face by the sounds of it. What was so different about this case? She didn't need me. She was capable.

Curiosity got the better of me and I played the second message, ignoring the discomfort in my arms as I stretched to maintain the signal. It was left a day after the first one.

"Hey, so I just remembered that you said you don't get much signal up there with your parents," she began apologetically. "I don't mean to– shit, it's so cold..." There was a pause, a noise in the background, then she continued, "Sorry, just turning up the heating. Anyway, I was saying. I don't mean to intrude on your break. I just– I'm hoping you'll find signal and hear this because I could really use your help. I think we've got a lead on who may have done it. It was hectic today. Really could've used that backup."

She chuckled dryly at her attempt at a joke, but all I felt was guilt. She sounded exhausted within a day of being there.

"I hope you get this," she finished with a sigh. "I should go. Got a busy day tomorrow. Hope you're doing okay. Bye."

I wasted no time in playing the next message. Three days into her case.

"I don't know why I keep sending these," she began with a hoarse voice, and my heart clenched at the sound of it. "You clearly aren't getting them in time. But it's easier talking to you like this than not at all."

It went quiet, so quiet that I thought she may have finished and forgot to hang up. But then she spoke up again, a whimper escaping her lips.

"It's so hard," she admitted. "We've covered worse cases, but this one... everything about it makes me uncomfortable. Something doesn't feel right. I've got a lead – we think it might be the boyfriend who did it and we're gonna see him tomorrow. But I don't know."

I frowned, squeezing my phone tightly because I didn't recognise the girl speaking as my friend. This girl sounded broken and I wondered what she could have discovered that made her like this.

"I've got the police department with me for backup," she said with a sniffle. "And Cory, he's a hunter whose been helping me with the case. They're all gonna be with me tomorrow. But I wish you were here, too. You always make things easier."

The lump in my throat wouldn't disappear no matter how many times I swallowed it. She made things easier, too. Always. And all I wanted to was be by her side and be there for her like she always was for me.

"Sorry about this," she said with a watery laugh, and I could imagine the embarrassed smile on her face as she did. "I sound like such an idiot. Never mind these messages. Just enjoy your break. I shouldn't be worrying you like this. See you when you get back."

The message ended and I checked to see if there were anymore, but to my disappointment, there wasn't. That message was from a few days ago and she hadn't sent anything since which was concerning in itself.

Trying not to panic for no reason, I called Jane. Hopefully everything was okay and I was being stupid. She was a fully-trained FBI agent. She could take care of herself. Right?

The call rang and rang, but nobody picked up. One missed call. No biggie. She probably heard it and couldn't find her phone or something. So, I tried again.

More ringing and no answer. Okay, no big deal. Just try again.

Another call and no answer. The chewing on my lip became more intense. Why the hell wasn't she picking up? Was she still working the case?

I waited an hour, trying again at ten minute intervals, unable to fight my concern. But there was no answer every time and I realised that I couldn't sit and wait for her to call back. Not after how she sounded in those voicemails.

No, I had to go there. She needed backup.

—

Wyoming was way colder than I could have prepared for.

I mean, technically, I prepared for nothing. I bid my parents a goodbye, threw some random clothes in a bag and caught the next plane over there. I tried for Jane's phone constantly, knowing she was never one to ignore me for this long, but there was no point. She wasn't answering, which could only mean so much.

When I reached the reservation, I had no idea where anything was or what I was looking for exactly. I just knew that as soon as the taxi dropped me off in the centre of town, I didn't know where to go.

There were a lot of locals hanging around, so my first port of call was to ask them if they'd seen Jane around – or Agent Banner, as she may have introduced herself. I showed them a picture of her on my phone, described her with vivid detail, but they just stared at me like I was crazy. I was starting to believe I was at one point, until I stopped by the convenience store.

As worried as I was for Jane's whereabouts, the chill in my bones was real. Especially my hands, which I was certain would fall off any minute. So, I decided to buy some gloves and also ask the cashier if he'd seen Jane around or heard anything of her. Whilst I was doing that, a customer caught my attention, probably having overheard my conversation.

"Did you say Jane Banner?" he asked with a quirked brow, interrupting my purchase. "The FBI lady, right?"

I nodded quickly, facing him. "Yes, that's her! D'you know where she is?"

He nodded casually. "Yeah, she's in the hospital. That big shootout that happened a few days ago, right?"

My stomach dropped. "The what?"

"The shootout," he repeated, not aware of the concern in my face. "At the drill site. A bunch of officers were killed and the FBI lady was one of the only one left standing." He tutted as he shook his head. "Very lucky that one."

A shootout? The hospital? Only one left standing? No wonder she hadn't been answering her calls.

"Can you– do you–" I stopped, clearing my throat and trying to stop freaking out. "Which hospital?"

After getting the address from him, I caught a taxi to the only hospital in town and prayed to God that Jane was okay. The one thing she'd asked for was backup and I couldn't even give her that. If I'd just looked at my messages sooner... fuck.

Getting past the front desk and to Jane's room was no issue at all. A quick flash of my FBI badge was enough for the receptionist to give me the details and wave me through. My heart was constricting in my chest the longer it took. What if it was really bad? What if that customer's intel was outdated and Jane was– no. I couldn't afford to think like that.

Upon finding Jane's room, I spotted an older man leaving through the door, being careful to close it behind him. I didn't recognise him at all.

"Excuse me," I called, earning his attention. "Is that Jane Banner's room you just came from?"

He seemed surprised, glancing over his shoulder to make sure I was speaking to him, before nodding. "Yes. Sorry, who are you?"

I pulled my badge from my pocket and showed him, though I doubted anyone would take me seriously when my eyes were watering at thought of Jane being severely injured.

"I'm her friend," I said, swallowing down the lump in my throat before lowering my badge.

"Oh, you're the backup that didn't come," he said with realisation.

My eyes flickered to the floor guiltily. He wasn't exactly wrong.

"I didn't mean it like that," he added quickly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

I shook my head, lifting my eyes to meet his. "It's okay. I should've... I should've been here." It went quiet as he didn't know what to say, so I looked to him halfheartedly. "I assume you're from the police department, one of the ones who helped Jane."

"Not exactly," he said, before putting out his hand for me to shake. "Name's Cory. I'm a hunter by trade."

Returning his handshake, I recalled Jane's voicemail. "Oh, yeah, she mentioned you... thank you for helping her out."

When I couldn’t, I added in my head.

He offered me a small smile and I couldn't find it in myself to return it. I must have looked like shit, since he gave me a pitiful gaze.

"You want me to catch you up before you go in?" he asked, nodding to Jane's door. "She's okay by the way."

I nodded, sucking up a breath. My nerves were eating away at me the longer I didn't see Jane – half of me was terrified of what I'd find, and the other half was afraid she'd be upset or angry because I left her to it, even when she pleaded for my help.

Cory and I took a seat down the hall and he proceeded to explain about the case and how they found the guy who raped that poor girl. The shootout was the worst bit, making me shiver with discomfort. Apparently, Jane had gotten blasted with a shotgun, puncturing her torso and neck despite the vest she wore. All of the officers with her were killed and by the sounds of it, Jane almost was, too. But Cory managed to take out the criminals and the rapist himself. When he was finished telling me, I had no words.

"She's a bit shaken up, but her surgery went well," Cory reassured with a short nod. "Does she know you're coming?"

I shook my head, voice thick with emotion. "She wouldn't answer her phone. I guess I know why now."

Cory nodded, rubbing the back of his neck before sparing me a consoling glance. "She talked about you a lot. I think it'll cheer her up seeing you. You should go."

My eyes met his, teary and stinging with unshed tears. "Thank you so much."

He shrugged bashfully, but he didn't realise all that he'd done. I gave him a small, tight smile before standing up with a sigh. No point dwelling anymore – I had to see her.

Pushing my selfish feelings aside, I sucked it up and approached Jane's room. She would either want to punch me or not, but either way, I had to see if she was okay. And so, when I opened the door slightly, heart racing in my chest, said heart jumped in my throat at the sight of her.

She was laying on the bed with wires stuck in her and, only from what I could see, bandages were covering the side of her neck. I thought she was sleeping at first, but then her head tilted towards the door curiously, and bright blue eyes widened with disbelief.

"Y/N?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "What are you– how did you get here?"

I closed the door behind me and hesitantly approached her bedside, unable to stop my eyes from soaking in the sight of her. She looked so feeble and vulnerable and unlike how I saw her last. Then, Cory's words came back to me and I began to imagine the worst scenario of her getting shot, blood seeping from her wounds, the life draining from her eyes...

"Y/N," she called, and I looked to her startlingly, hoping I didn't look as troubled as I felt.

"Sorry," I said, clearing my throat. "I, er– the messages. Voicemail. I heard them and tried calling you back, but..."

She pursed her lips, exhaling with a wince and looking up at the ceiling, as if suddenly remembering she left messages in the first place.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner," I said quietly, guilt seeping back in.

"No, no, don't be," she said, and I just about noticed the pink dusting her cheeks. "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have interrupted your vacation like that. I know you said you wanted a break and–"

"Jane, no, don't even say that," I cut her off, reaching for her hand in an instant. She looked my way, eyes flickering between mine nervously. I squeezed her hand gently and said, "I should have been here. You needed me and I– I didn't come. Maybe if I had, this could have ended differently."

She tried to smile, but I could see the discomfort in her eyes. "It's not that bad, honestly. It just looks bad."

I pressed my lips together, eyes falling to the bandage on her neck. Even though it was big and covered her wound, I could still make out the bruising around it from the impact of the shell. I didn't imagine the torso wound looking any different, and that thought alone made me regret leaving her alone. It was very much as bad as it looked; I knew that and she knew that.

Her lips trembled as she avoided my eyes, her own tearing up. I pushed away my guilt momentarily and changed the subject.

"So, I met Cory. He seems like a great guy."

She didn't say anything as she seemed lost in thought. Either that or she was trying not to cry in front of me. I hoped it wasn't the latter, since the last thing I wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable.

"You know," I said, when she wouldn't speak, "I'm pretty sure I told you to stay safe before I left for my vacation."

At my poor attempt to lighten the mood, she cracked a small, tight smile, but a smile nonetheless, and my racing heart slowed down momentarily.

"I'm glad you're okay," I said, now that I had her attention again, and she looked my way with a softened expression. "Kind of okay. But you know... okay."

Thankfully, she knew what I meant and her hand tightened around mine.

"I'm glad you came," she returned, and I couldn't look away even if I tried. She was always able to trap me with a single gaze.

With a tug of her hand, she motioned for me to sit on the edge of her bed, so I did. And then she began to ask me about my vacation, what I'd been up to this past month, how my parents were... basically anything and everything except for the case. And it was understandable, since she was reminded of it all the time. If I could be a form of escapism for her, so be it. It was the least I could do.

We spoke for hours until the nurse came in to let me know visiting hours were over and I'd have to come back tomorrow. With a regretful sigh, I got up from my seat on her bedside and stretched my limbs.

"Where are you staying?" she asked, a slight frown on her lips.

I smiled awkwardly, realising I didn't think that far ahead. "I'm not gonna lie, I don't know. I came straight here. There's gotta be a hotel or something in this town, right?"

She nodded and flicked her hand to the shelves on the other side of the room. "You should stay in my room in the inn. Key's in my bag over there."

"Oh, I don't have to do that–"

"Y/N, it's not like I'm going to be staying there anytime soon," she cut me off, smiling halfheartedly. "Please."

I chewed on my lip and nodded, giving in. When I grabbed her keys from her bag, I stopped by her bedside and gave her a supportive smile.

"I'll back first thing in the morning, if you don't mind," I said, and she finally gave me a smile that reached her eyes.

"I'd like that."

I nodded, resting a hand on hers and squeezing comfortingly. "Goodnight."

—

Though I knew Jane was okay, I still couldn't stop myself from thinking about her all night. The sight of her wounds and the broken expression on her face was enough to keep me awake. And the guilt that came with it all... why couldn't I have just picked up my damn phone?

As promised, I returned to Jane's hospital room the next morning, this time bringing some breakfast snacks from the hospital cafeteria since I knew the food would be much better than whatever they were serving her. Judging by the content expression on her face when I gave it to her, I was right.

When she finished eating, she was able to sit up slightly and move over on her bed, urging for me to join her and watch some TV with her. There was no way I was going to turn down that offer, so I slid next to her and kept a packet of sliced apples between us as we watched whatever was playing on the TV.

About halfway through watching, she spoke up randomly, taking me by surprise.

"When are you leaving?"

I tore my gaze from the screen and realised she was staring at me with intense green eyes.

"When you're well enough to," I answered truthfully.

She looked down to her hands. "You don't have to stay with me. You can go."

I studied her profile, knowing it was the wrong time to appreciate how stunning she looked even when she was makeup-free, sporting a bed head and tired.

"Do you want me to go?" I asked softly, afraid I may have overstepped.

She was quick to shake her head slightly, finally lifting her gaze to meet mine with glossy ones. "No."

I nodded, trying very hard not to smile, cleared my throat and grabbed her hand. "Then I'm not leaving. I'll be right here until you get better and I can take you home."

A ragged breath escaped her lips as she nodded in response. We both looked back to the TV and I noticed she didn't let go of my hand, her fingers warm to the touch and giving me goosebumps at the contact. But I wouldn't have had it any other way.

[gildedmuse]

Hey, everyone.

So recently I've (predictably) very not well. Actually, whenever I don't post for long periods, just assume my body is trying to kill me. But I've gotten messages from three people asking if I. Okay, which is super sweet. I am actually trying to work on the next All Hearts, a really long ZoLaw post and two request fics, but mixing chronic kidney pain and capitalist society's mandate to work 40+ hours is not recommended.

But to prove I'm okay and still me, here is some Shanks antics with him being a total slut while Mihawk and Beckman just roll their eyes and go along with it. [Shout out to @jhaernyl who not only listens to me ramble about this stuff, but actively encourages it]. I also have many thoughts on the latest episodes and so many screenshots it's embarrassing. Hopefully, when I'm in less pain, I'll get around to actually posting those. Otherwise I just look like an insane person who literally takes by the second frame shots every time Zoro is on screen.

.... What is that? I look like that anyway? Fair.

Shanks Is A Bad Influence

It feels like Buggy and Shanks split up after Roger's death (the crew was told to, and they are the only ones who went to his execution) and I find it impossible to think Shanks didn't immediately set out and find a crew; like, pirating is the only thing this kid knows in life. This means two things:

He set out from East Blue. Also, he seemed at ease and familiar with the East so it's possible he spent like a year there getting everything together. Maybe he even played around in the other blues for a while before heading back to the Grand Line. I say this because his crew is from all over so either he found and recruited them in the Grand Line or visited various blues. Either way, I'm gonna say it took him about two years before getting a 'proper' start. In that case, he would have started out properly at the age of 17 and we know One Piece likes it's parallels.

That still puts Shanks at 17 to Benn Beckmen's 28. How the fuck did Shanks manage that? I'd call it grave robbing, but let's face it, the little tyke probably got up to some actual robbing of graves as well.

My point being everytime Shanks teases Mihawk about keeping this 19 year old kid on his personal island, mostly shirtless, Benn Beckmen just lifts an eyebrow.

Excuse me, captain, who had prefected the 'opps still don't have my sea legs' trip-and-fall into their first mates lap by the age of 17?

Shanks: Beckmen, you caught me! *Shamelessly nuzzles up* Thank goodness! I could be a devil's fruit user after all and - Ahh!

Benn: *Drops Shanks straight over the side of the ship into the water*

Shanks: *Sputtering* What what that!?

Benn: Checking to see if you had eaten a devil's fruit on us, Capatin.

Benn: You didn't.

Smart ass. But he can't resist Shanks forever. Shanks will wear him down eventually.

Next time Mihawk tracks him down for another match - because you know he gets bored way quicker than he'll ever admit and Shanks is at least amusing a challenge - Shanks makes a big deal out of how Mihawk follows him around, "accidentally" revealing they slept together, sighing about how it's so hard to resist him.

Benn Beckmen is just leaning against the side of the ship, sipping his booze.

Shanks: -and I can't stay for hours like last time!!

Mihawk: Are you quite done?

Shanks: *whispering* Does Benn look jealous?

Mihawk: He looks bored. Much like I am. Is this some strange attempt to get out of my challenge, Akagami?

Shanks: What? No, come on I told you I was game. But, hey, could you do me a favor? Maybe like try and kiss me or something? Like take a swing like your going to hit me but then stop shot and grab me by the waist instead.

Mihawk: .... Trickery is beneath you. Besides, you're absolute rubbish at it.

Shanks: Oh, come on, I would totally help you get laid if you asked!

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* I want a proper match afterwards.

Mihawk: *In a forced, monotone voice* After this I will take you to my lair and have my way with you, Akagami.

Mihawk: ... My lair? Really?

Shanks: *Holding up cue card with quickly scribbled line* What? That is how you talk.

Mihawk: I can't believe I wasted precious hours of light tracking you to this atrociously rural port.

Shanks: See? Now, read the next one.

Benn: Captain? If this is going to take all night, I am going to go join the rest of the men in the tavern.

Shanks: Huh? Wait! Benn! What if Miha really stabs me this time!?

Benn: *Salutes Shanks with his bottle* Sounds like that is his plan captain. Have a good 'challenge'.

Shanks: What? No... *Reaching out hand, like he might die if Benn leaves, looking completely devastated* Not even a little jealous...

Mihawk: You couldn't have thought that pantomime would actually work.

Shanks: Benny, don't leave me.... *Turns to Mihawk, immediately brightening* Oh, well, there's always tomorrow. Hey, Miha, guess whose free all night and horny as a pirate in the calm belt?

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* Very well.

Mihawk might as well get something for the trip he made. Although, he's reconsidering if the sex was actually worth the trouble after he ends up listening to Shanks worry half the night that Benn is shacking up with someone else (after a couple hours of rough and raw fucking, admittedly).

Is it the hat? He likes his captain's hat. Miha, you think his captain's hat is sexy, don't you?

Mihawk: It's utterly ridiculous.

Shanks: ....

Shanks: ....

Shanks: *Smile* Ahh, Miha, I knew you liked the hat!

Shanks: What do you old Northerns find sexy?

Mihawk: I am only four years older than you.

Mihawk: And silence.

Trying to convince Mihawk to go spy on Beckman for him. Shanks doesn't actually care if he does sleep with someone else, it's more that Beckman didn't immediately turn angry and jealous like Buggy would have that has him paranoid.

Mihawk is going to fuck this annoying red head again just to shut him up.

Mihawk: Maybe he doesn't like red haired boys who don't know when to be quiet?

The next morning Shanks is pacing among his poor crew that's gotten stuck listening to Shanks obsess about Beckman again. IS IT REALLY THE HAIR!?

It's not even a matter of Shanks's age (or obvious immaturity). I mean, Beckman got on board and stayed, didn't he? Beckman just enjoys watching Shanks try so hard to get his attention. Like Benn's attention isn't constantly on Shanks. He had to when his captain is always one step away from disaster.

He only left him with Mihawk because it was clear Dracule is not a real danger to Beckman's captain.

Except maybe insulting him to death. But Beckman is pretty sure Shanks can handle it. He's met Buggy. He's suspects Shanks LIKES it if anything.

It gets to the point where when they dock somewhere and see Mihawk waiting, or come back to the ship and spot his familiar silhouette, most of the crew goes off somewhere for another drink (sometimes the newer kids will stay to watch such an awesome fight, everyone else is like... Look, you'll have plenty of opportunities later. This is not a one off.)

Benn just takes a look around, nods to Mihawk (a silent signal for, "he's all yours, do with him as you please, if anything happens to him I will track you down and make sure your last few hours on this blue world are as painful as humanly possible") and heads off.

Oh, it's just the Hawk boy.

That's fine then.

Benn use to be a sailor on a trade ship between the North, East, West and Grand Line. He's seen it all.

They called him The Gun Slinger BEFORE he joined Shanks's crew and became a pirate.

So this young, broke ass kid from the streets of some near artic northern island trying to pass himself off as a Lower North rich type has a thing for his captain? Not really enough to keep Beckman up at night, no matter how good at swords he's supposed to be

Besides, he's pretty sure for the kid to keep tracking down Shanks, he must be bored out of his skull. He's not going to do anything to endanger their captain.

Not if Shanks is the only thing he can find to keep him entertained.

One day, Mihawk is going to be waiting on the dock when a bunch of Red Haired pirates are stumbling home, laughing and chattering amongst themselves (Shanks's crew always seems to be in a good mood). One of them will catch sight if Mihawk and walk by with a smile, patting him on the shoulder.

The captain's occupied. Seems likely he'll be 'occupied' for a good while, too.

Mihawk won't smile, but he will think "So you finally warmed him up to you, Akagami?" and snort lightly.

Poor Benn, though. Mihawk could never imagine being with someone so much younger than him. Shanks is only four years his junior and already it strains Mihawk to put up with his occasional moments of "youthful whimsy" (aka being an annoying, immature child)

"A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair"

Mihawk just putting that on his Not To Do List.

That lasted until Roronoa.

(Mihawk just looking at Zoro knowing this is bad news.)

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

*Cross out, scribbles*

*Hands back to Benn*

Do Not Do:

- A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair a silly hat, who is overly dramatic and in any way, shape or form related to Gol D Rogers.

Ace: Hey what's up?

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

Go ahead, Benn, laugh it up. Mihawk is aware he has a type. Young, pretty, and utterly insane.

After that night where Shanks was otherwise 'occupied', it's over six months before Mihawk sees his friend his rival again. He is, as expected, far too smug and proud looking.

Shanks: Oh, Miha, so sorry you came all this way, I'm-

Benn: Well, I'm off, captain.

Shanks: What!? But we, you, I... Benn, hessoeexyarentyouworriedforyourcaptain?

Benn: *patting Mihawk on the shoulder* Have fun with him. Don't forget to return him by noon tomorrow, we have a schedule. Oh, but if you can babysit him for at least four hours? That would be great.

Shanks: BABYSIT!?

Mihawk: I suppose I can be troubled to do so.

Shanks: TROUBLED!?

Benn: Thanks, Hawkeyes. I owe you.

Shanks: *Fake tears clinging to his lashes* You two are so mean!

No, don't feel bad for him. Shanks is just trying to guilt the two of them into bed at the same time, and they both know it.

Thanks no thanks, they're not into that. But Shanks can be pretty cute when he's trying so hard (Benn) and at least he's not as boring as everything else in this world (Mihawk) so they allow him to keep up the act

Shanks: *looking at Zoro's wanted poster over Mihawk's shoulder* But I feel like you'd gladly go to bed with him and his captain if he asked. That doesn't seem fair to me. You'd never go that far with me and Benn.

Mihawk: *Eyes Benn*

Mihawk: *DEAD. ONLY.*

Mihawk: I have my reasons.

They can and do agree on plenty of things, including reciprocally not being that attracted to each other.

Shanks: Sounds fake to me

Shanks: But guys!

Shanks: This isn't about you

He's gonna need you guys to drop the egos and focus on what HE wants. I.E., being in the middle of two sexy Northern men.

Honestly, so mean to poor Shanks!

[wdwmarveldisney]

Die And Stuff

Stiles Stilinski x reader with scoliosis

Request by @castieltheasstiel -So reader is Stiles’ girlfriend and she has scoliosis (curve of the spine) and so she’s in pain a lot and she keeps contemplated asking Scott to bite her so she and Stiles talks about it. Just fluff

Summary: You ask Stiles for support in your decision to become a werewolf.

Masterlist

A/N: I did a bit of research into this and I really hope I didn’t get anything wrong or miss anything. Please please tell me if I did, I’ll change it immediately.

Part two is here.

GIF isn’t mine

The movie was just like white noise in the background as your eyes stayed fixed on the screen but your focus wasn't on the characters or the very confusing storyline but more on the idea that had plagued your mind for days. Your fingers played with Stiles hair as you glanced down to where he rested his head against your stomach so he could watch the movie. Maybe you should talk to him about it. It could help. You talking it out may help you realise if it's actually a good idea or not. Or bringing it up could just finalise the never doing it since Stiles could be protective like that. A heavy sigh left your lips as you shifted, trying to find a position where the pain wasn't so obvious and the back brace wasn't too uncomfortable. Stiles' head shot up, eyes filled with concern when he saw the discomfort that was etched into your features. His hand ran up your arm as he moved to sit up and look down at you, the movie now being the last thing on his mind, "You okay?"

"Thinking," you mumbled softly, hands making their way to reach for his hair but he stopped them, interlacing your fingers with his as he frowned down at you. He was not going to let this go anytime soon, was he? "About?" You shook your head, fighting back a smile at how worried he seemed and how well he seemed to know you. He always paid attention to things, knew all the little details and ticks to you. He knew in a heartbeat if you were happy or sad or angry and when he needed to, he knew how to calm you down and distract you the best that he could. Realisation overpowered the concern and suddenly he was sighing, "This is about your scoliosis, isn't it?" You pouted, avoiding shrugging as you stared up at him, Stiles huffing at your silence. You shifted once more under his gaze before finally answering, "I was just thinking-"

"You know there's no point in surgery until you stop growing, right? The doctor was like very clear on that. But if you want to then I-" you took your hands from his, placing them on his shoulders and trying to meet his eyes, "I want Scott to bite me!" He looked shocked by the outburst, falling off the bed in surprise and you couldn't but giggle as he clumsily pulled himself back up and sat next to you. "What?" You fiddled with his shirt as you built up the courage to continue. Shifting once more, you avoided eye contact and sat up slightly, "I mean it would help, I'd be in less pain and I would have to wear this stupid brace and hey, I'll be able to help out the pack more,"

Stiles frantically shook his head and gripped your hands so tightly you were scared that he'd break them, "The only reason I don't like helping out with the pack is because I could lose you and that's exactly why you can't get the bite. 'Cause you could, you know, die and stuff," you chuckled, tilting your head with an amused look. Stiles huffed as he heard the teasing words leave your mouth, "Die and stuff?" At the slight glare aimed your way and the suppressed bashful grin, you began to laugh making Stiles face scrunch up in embarrassment and hid his face away in your neck. Your fingers worked through his hair as you continued to laugh to yourself until Stiles pulled away and pointed a finger at you, “No. You’re not avoiding the rest of this conversation that easily. This is dangerous and I don’t like you in danger,”

You nodded along to his words, pausing for a second or two before you responded, “So if I went behind your back and did it...?” Noticing the sharp glare instantly, you continued to nod in confirmation of what you expected he’d think, “Yeah, okay, right,” Stiles huffed again at how you didn’t seem to be taking this as seriously as he was as your hands fell onto his shoulders and you smiled brightly, “Stiles, this is my choice. I’m not asking for approval, I’m asking for support,” he just sat there, staring at you for a second or two as he contemplated but you knew his answer. “Fine, okay. We’ll talk to Scott later. I wanna cuddle, and finish the movie,” Grinning widely, you ignored his pout as you shuffled back down to lay on your bed once more as Stiles curled into your side and reached for one of your hands, placing it into his hair.

“So if I get the bite and I’m a werewolf, you won’t leave or anything?” You heard him scoff as he turned onto his stomach to face you and you smiled sheepishly at the frown on his face. “Have you met our friends? They’re like all supernatural,” you shrugged as you shifted and Stiles moved up slightly so you were face to face. Your hands traced the moles on his face as you spoke with a half-there voice, “Never dated a new to control werewolf though,” his face scrunched up and he shrugged as if you were wrong and you huffed when you realised who he was talking about, “Okay fine, Malia. But that was slightly different,” your arms snaked around his neck as he stared down at you in amusement. “I guess so,” he mumbled, fingers reaching up to tap your nose and watch your face scrunched up as your eyes tried to focus on where he poked you, “You know I’m not leaving, right? I’m going to be there,” you grinned, pulling closer as you nodded and placed a quick kiss to his lips. He smiled into the kiss, laughing lightly for no reason. You panicked a little, looking at him in a mixture of concern and confusion as you pulled away, “What, did I do something?”

“No, just remembering how excited I was to watch this movie, I’ve barely seen any of it,” you gasped slightly, a scoff leaving your lips straight after. You shoved him as he continued to laugh, hiding his face away in your neck again, “That is so not true,” Stiles shook his head as he pulled back, shrugging as he grinned, “I mean, I’m not complaining. I was talking to you,” you almost awed but instead you smirked at you could see the caution in Stiles’ eyes, “So if you don’t care that much about the movie, we can call Scott now?” His face fell and he was quick to cuddle once more as you chuckled, “We’re watching the movie,”