#so I’m hoping that The Prophecies begin will be better written

[brainticklr69]

For how much (rightful) criticism Dawn Of The Clans gets I’m surprised I haven’t seen anyone mention the inaccurate characterizations that happen from The First Battle to The Blazing Star.

The First Battle ends with relegations of how bad Clear Sky is, how mislead he was, how much hes hurt everyone around him and then all the characters become aware of why he was acting the way he was and Thunder opens his heart to Clear Sky. He’s like ‘oh that’s why my dads like that. He’ll have to work hard to right the wrongs he’s done but I believe he can do it. It’ll take me a while to forgive him though’. But then The Blazing Star begins with them forgetting how they all were feeling about Clear Sky and creating conflict because they go back to being unsympathetic and that he’ll never change again.

I read these books back to back so it might be more noticeable just because there wasn’t a year between me reading the two (also I swear you can tell when a new Erin begins writing in the series), but my point still stands.

I think people hate Clear Sky because the books themselves didn’t properly justify his redemption. They needed conflict, they had understanding and acceptance of him too early and then they back tracked to prolong it. It’s like whiplash the way Thunder goes from hating his father to understanding him and having hope for him back to hating if him and then liking him at the end of the series.

That’s one thing that sucks about this Warrior Cat series (and i wouldn’t be surprised about the others once I get to them), the Erins don’t always create coherent stories and characters. And maybe it’s just this book but all the characters are very static as well and when they try to have dynamic characters it just seems forced for plot. Which really sucks because this is a great concept for a series and it wasn’t all terrible.

[lesser-mook]

DUNE PART TWO (Recommendation: Round 2) *light spoilers

Went in for another watch: I wasn’t tripping, this is definitely Jesus parallel/more so Anti-Christ propaganda. On the level of The Matrix, which is what this is, this generations Matrix. (also Jesus imagery/Anti-Christ/transhumanist propaganda)

Dune is worthy of that position too; Cause think about it, it’s accomplishing a level of epic the MCU took 10 years to build up to.

There’s no, and I mean NO REASON why the stakes, the action, and the characters of DUNE (movieverse) are this good when not only is Disney trying so hard to do the exact same thing AGAIN and failing —

But this is custom lore a lot of people aren’t even familiar with, this isn’t a superhero or a anime adaptation, this is coming from some book I’ve never even heard of and it’s this good? (Not a masterpiece, it’s just well made)

Both propaganda, (Matrix /Dune movies) don’t get it twisted but they’re good, except Matrix 4, that was ass.

Reverend Mother said it best:

“There are no sides”, none.

Just the order, in chaos. And if there is no chaos, well well well, better brace yourself because we’ll create a tragedy to course correct.

(Said the person part of an elite group manipulating events of the world and pulling strings, wiping out bloodlines, breeding their own followers with certain people in power to artificially bring forth a force from the “outer world”. They’re literally telling you what’s going on.)

Both propaganda, but one works & the other doesn’t (Sequel trilogy, Phase 4 MCU).

Why? because them being female isn’t their stake in the setting or their stake in your mind as you’re watching it, they’re just good characters first, people first & it registers to you as normal, not woke. Not exceptional because they’re women.

I didn’t really pay attention the first time but Florence did a good job as Irulan, channeling that mature wisdom of a leader in the making. She’s pretty smart (not in the way that modern society WANTS girls to be smart which is a Scientist or something, she’s intelligent politically and well read) and after she explained her case of the dangers of downplaying prophecy, religion & martyrdom and what that means to people wanting hope — To the Emperor. He said she’d make a fine Empress.

And he’s right. It’s easy to miss what she’s doing (actually) in the story, you see Florence ofc, but Irulan is easy to miss. That’s because the story doesn’t over-inflate her importance, when she’s more significant than she appears.

Point being, she’s a royal with a conscience (a good example of a decent person on the side of the “enemy”), she’s here & there throughout the story, being the voice of reason even to Reverend Mother, until she’s face to face, not with Paul but Muad’Dib.

Everything she said and did led up to her facing him, a force of nature of a man. Completely different animal. And both of them told the exact same thing (“Strategic alliance”)

The story begins with Irulan and it ends with Chani.

Why doesn’t the movie inflate the fact that they’re strong women? Because the movie doesn’t treat you like an idiot. That’s how it should be done.

It’s not putting them on a pedestal like many woke productions, or bending them over the couch for the sake of pandering like in Anime. Two different extremes.

Yes, Chani mentions that the Fremen way is that men and women are equal or (how any competent society should be functioning). If anyone reaches to say that’s woke? (I’m not even going to entertain that, or be smartass. Just relax. That line doesn’t mean what you think it means/ And this is coming from a mf who’s calling this Anti-Christ propaganda, so IF I’m saying the line wasn’t that deep, then it wasn’t that deep.)

Cause if you wanted to nitpick? That’s easy bait, when it’s really not.

Overall, this reminds me of Aaron Ehasz’ writing chops, how a Live Action Avatar The Last Airbender should be written.

Paul survived a genocide just like Aang but “Usul” is going in a very different direction:

Unlike Deku & Aang, Muad’Dib is not here to make friends, appeal to your inner child or some shit or hand out mercy for nothing in return.

But you’ll see what I mean. Paul is a little Gary Stu-ish (on purpose, hence the chosen one narrative. One of the signs is that he knows some of the Fremen way without being taught. Neo was a gary stu too.)

Yet the guy (Paul) still has to be taught, like Neo & Aang, he’s not perfect. He cries, he gets pissed, he doubts himself, he’s human still.)

Not a perfect little angel like Deku (who cried way too much, gets pissed only when convenient but when abused by the same guy his entire life) or unless it was time to make a CRaZy FacE during a fight. Please.

DUNE PT 1–2, Not as groundbreaking as The Matrix, not even close.

But given the fact that this has an almost 200 million lower budget than Endgame and is a better film than Endgame in story, (some) visuals, direction, writing and effects?

So yes, still a decent little movie, outside the realm of conspiracy.

Part One did it’s justice setting the groundwork, which is why it felt dry or boring for some people.

It got the work done, so the second could come out swinging, which is why the pacing felt so much better in this movie, it started right in the thick of the plot. The work was done already.

The level of foreshadowing in this movie, throughout? Is insane (PT 1 too). I counted it somewhat, the most throwaway line or an establishing shot you’d easily miss or overlook as random or an artistic decision, sets up something that will happen later, or in a couple of minutes; Or the next movie, and no I’m not even talking about Paul’s dreams.

Visual foreshadowing, visual storytelling. Vision. Not agenda shoved down your throat, not blatantly anyway. If you want to sell people propaganda without them rejecting it?

Make it good & wait for them call it a “masterpiece” or something. (People won’t question what they like, because bias lowers your defenses. That’s warfare for the mind, The Matrix mentioned something similar.)

But? When he goes Lisan-Al Gaib mode? And his speech scene in the southern temple? (my fav scene in the movie, how it began, the scene that led up to it, his stride, that shot, the MUSIC. Jfc, Hans Zimmer.)

Projecting his voice, like a godly apparition in human form. His aggression, body-language, he’s not asking, he’s telling you what’s going to happen.

The man can see timelines without an Infinity Stone, the LAST thing he wants to hear is someone informing him he has to kill one of his many mentors because of “tradition”, ALL just to speak his mind in a gathering.

Yeah, anyone would get pissed when all they’ve been hearing is “Prophecy, prophecy, prophecy” for the past imma say…(3 months toa year)

That entire scene was him embracing the role, while expressing his frustration that he had to do it at all.

He sells it 100%, reminds me a lot of Jesus roasting the priests in the temple. Same exact situation. Some other hang ups I have would be:

We never get to see exactly how Worm Riders dismount their Worms, we’re never shown how they get off. Especially how they manage to get a pregnant woman & crowd on and off one of those behemoths.

The Voice, as a concept is too broken. There should’ve been some kind of criteria like if you try to use it on someone who can also use it, it can be countered or something (Like “The Force”). Or you risk injuring your vocal chords if abused etc. It’s way too broken, you can win pretty much any fight by just commanding them to die. It’s basically Lelouch’s Geass

Paul is a sympathetic MC, he’s cool, he’s a bookworm, it’s good to see him learn something from others (to negate too much gary-stu energy), he’s like the quiet, nice kid in class. But he’s not all that interesting, that is until he transitions and he starts carrying himself a little differently. Pretentious? Sure, Messiah complex to the max, but again, consider his frustration with the whole thing. And he’s got the energy to make people follow, and I’m interested to see what he does next, that’s the point essentially. He’s not that engaging until he is.

PART TWO is worth the money because it’s 2 films in one, surprisingly well paced. But there in itself lies an issue, there’s a lot going on in just this one movie that could’ve been fleshed out. As you notice, there’s very subtle points where time-skips are implied, like Maud’Dib’s reputation, we didn’t really get to see how Usul got that reputation just that the name means something infamous to the Harkonnen’s at a point, so much so that that’s how they address him, like he’s Robin Hood or Captain America during the Civil War Arc (books). But it works because it keeps the movie from being 3 hours, but definitely skimmed over some things.

Some of the fight choreography has some chinks in the armor in the bigger scenes, like a character’s back it turned to someone who’s facing them and they don’t strike. The combat is overall solid, but that (in any movie) drives me nuts, and I saw it on my first viewing lol. But I won’t specify when or where, I don’t wanna ruin it. Because I can’t unsee it myself.

I find it very, VERY unlikely that the Harkonnen’s wouldn’t have a contingency for The Sand “Demons”/ Worms by now. Nukes exist, space ships, personal shields, hover jet packs, but not an Orbital Rail gun? Or a mounted Rail gun on a base wall? Fishy. Awfully convenient. (Harkonnen’s would have my ass in R&D because that’d be my first question to Chain of Command “What if we simply designed-”)

This is not a masterpiece, it’s a well made movie with an interesting parallel to The Matrix, very very well composed (Props to Hans Zimmer), well acted, the setting & story are interesting for what it is and how ambitious it is.

And very ominous overtones that caught my eye.

Might shill it again another time.

I recommend you watch it in theaters at least once before it goes.

If you have tinnitus or something, DO NOT brave IMAX.

That shit gets so loud it physically assaults you sometimes.

And if not, then enjoy it however you can get to it. It’s the same movie wherever you watch it.

TMI: I personally ignored the first movie when it dropped, “Paul’s Dream” OST somehow found it’s way to me via a playlist in 2022, finally watched PART ONE March 2024, then I was impressed with what PART ONE was setting up, and the sequel impressed me more —

So, If this is trying to be a Trilogy, I’m definitely going to have eyes on that 3rd installment.

Because Paul’s Dream in PART ONE regarding what Chani does to him, definitely makes more sense given not only — how uneasy she was the moment he broke off from the worm caravan suddenly to (do what he did), what he did in the temple, and how scorned she was later on (won’t specify) —

We can only imagine what else he's going to do that (might) lead to her making that call.

And that’s an “if” because Paul says to Jessica (after the attack, tent scene) he saw his death but claims that’s not what it means. 

And it also makes sense in context of the story. The knife was given to him by Chani, and to begin his journey to become Kwisatz: Paul had to die through killing another (Jamis). Killing another is killing himself. So the vision’s meaning was likely isolated to PART ONE’s plot, but it’s something to keep in mind for potential PART THREE.

It’s funny, cause My Hero spoils the ending in just the second episode, it doesn’t work because there’s no narrative point to it, doesn’t progress or fit the kind of story that it is.

Like Spider-man 2002 didn’t begin with Peter saying he’s Spider-Man, it began with a question:

"Who am I?"

It ENDED with him saying who he is, answering the question, because narratively, it makes more sense to hear it AFTER we see the goddamn story, and what he just sacrificed to be who he is. All to justify the answer to the question:

I bet you before now, you didn't really even think that hard on Peter's question making sense to that extent until now lol. That's how subtle it is.

Tangent: (Horikoshi copied other people’s homework without knowing why their shit worked in the first place, in context. The man at heart was a fanboy of A LOT of franchises, and you can see it in the entire story *He named a street after "Tatooine"* But his execution & ideas needed more time to mature. His mistake was getting involved with Shonen Jump before he had it figured out and or getting involved with them at all.)

Otherwise, main reason SM2002 narration works: Is because it isn’t a fantasy film with prophetic elements, it’s a superhero title and it didn't spoil anything.

For that MHA story, us knowing Deku becomes the greatest hero contributes to nothing, because for that story, that doesn’t make sense to know it that goddamn soon.

But in this story, with visions & prophecies, all these biblical parallels, knowing what happens in fragments, works because of how the film executes it, the setting is compatible with it — hooks you to keep watching, some visions are proven right. So for the audience that gives us a sense of progress and achievement even though all we’re doing is watching, we’re not doing anything, It’s very immersive. 

Like J.J Abrams “Mystery Box” technique but it’s not shit.

Hence why, DUNE: The movies, so far, are already a better Sequel Trilogy than the Sequel Trilogy of Star Wars. Because like EPISODE 7, PART ONE was just 100% Set up and foundation. And PART TWO was basically EP8-9, and now we might get another.

2 ways to technically spoil events here, but 2 out of 3 examples work. Because the storytelling methodology are completely different.

MHA was just copying an aesthetic without understand why the original worked (which is why the story began promising but ended up a narrative failure)

DUNE is compatible with it because the story itself already has mystic/biblical/prophetic elements, so it’s compatible with the trope

And for Spider-Man 2002 specifically, it didn’t jump the gun before the story was even finished in the writing room. There was a long-term point to the narration and the question.

It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it.

[jazzyslibrary]

warriors: the prophecies begin #4: rising storm

date started: 02/07/2022 | date started: 03/07/2022

soooo cloudpaw is being an annoying brat still, and fireheart’s solution to this is to yell at him and it never works and yet it’s the only way he disciplines him. i know fireheart is like insecure about being a bad mentor because of cinderpelt and the fact that like himself, cloudpaw was born a kittypet, but like .. he doesn’t do a better job by being an asshole to cloudpaw. he admires cats like bluestar, whitestorm, and lionheart. but he doesn’t try to act like them. even sandstorm thinks he’s too harsh to cloudpaw. but fireheart yells at her too.

then cloudpaw gets abducted by twolegs and sandstorm tries to comfort him because she’s a good friend but instead fireheart yells at her some more and says she never cared about him and that she doesn’t get it because she was born into the clan and fireheart’s only kin in the clan is cloudpaw. i mean .. sandstorm has no relatives apart from after she has kits of her own but that’s just a product of family trees not being made before writing the books than any sort of plot. but also sandstorm never said anything that implies she doesn’t care about cloudpaw, just that he may be happier living with twolegs than in the clan. poor sandstorm, i don’t think she ever is treated as well as she deserves by fireheart/star.

the forest fire happens way earlier than i remember, probably because in my mind yellowfang is so iconic and yet she’s only alive in 4 books. when fireheart returned to the thunderclan camp and finds yellowfang in her den i was so hopeful for a second that maybe maybe i remembered her death wrong and she would survive. her speach to fireheart about him being a son to her was very sweet, although i wish fireheart was better so i would feel he actually deserved that speech from her. maybe he’s not that bad but his whole treatment of sandstorm and “thing” with spottedleaf gives me the yucks. i love cinderpelt but i wish yellowfang could have stayed with her for a little longer, they’re such an iconic pair. ;n;

upon finding yellowfang i’m pretty sure bluestar denounces starclan and their prophecies about fire after a fire burnt their entire territory. which i dunno i didn’t have a problem with. after finding yellowfang x bluestar fan art i’ve paid more attention to their interactions and not that i think this is any sort of hint at romance it just makes me happy that bluestar has always trusted yellowfang and valued her as their medicine cat and losing her was a great loss to bluestar and her clan. of course it’s also because of the loss of their territory and making the clan weaker but she says it right after seeing yellowfang so i’ll read it my way :)

bluestar is starting to be unstable throughout this book but one interaction from her that was actually really sweet was after ravenpaw helps fireheart and sandstorm bring cloudpaw home. she feels bad for not believing what ravenpaw had said about tigerclaw and asks if he should be invited back to thunderclan. also she says that he is always welcome in thunderclan or something like that.

during this book where fireheart had become deputy and was struggling to be deputy so whitestorm basically did everything for him was a little frustrating to see. i know for the sake of fireheart becoming the next clan leader and saving the forest he kinda had to be appointed deputy unless they made whitestorm deputy, he dies, then fireheart, but that would be too similar to the first book where two of bluestar’s deputies died. but given that whitestorm takes care of the clan as well as taking care of bluestar it’s a bit sad to see that she didn’t choose her nephew as deputy. i know it wasn’t written that he was related to her yet but still.

i really want a physical copy of the book with the fireheart and cloudpaw art. at the moment i only have the one with fireheart and sandstorm. hopefully i can find one floating on ebay somewhere!

[nlghtshade]

♡ may 2022 favorites

sorry this is late 😭 irl has been busy busy as usual - may felt so so long but also how is it already june 😭 i haven't really had time to take a breath and deeply appreciate everything that's been coming out but for sure my reading list has gotten so much longer and my eyes have been blessed with such beautiful art from all of the amazing recs and fests going on and i am just so grateful for this fandom !!

sending extra ♡ to @phd-mama for her #may we life each other up series, @thebooktopus for her May Flowers Rec Lists, @sitp-recs for their #hidden gems rec lists, @celila-reblogs and all the participants for all the amazing @lcdrarry works coming out !! thank you thank you ♡

FIC

Talk Sense to a Fool, and He Calls you Foolish by @written-in-ash

Another Greek God AU, woohoo! Written for @drarrymicrofic prompt: Fool

Microfic: Friends by @drarrily-we-row-along

400 words written for the @drarrymicrofic prompt: friends.

Teeth (2020, Explicit, 5.9k) by @amelior8or

Potter’s been practically begging for it, for months, constantly staring until the air crackles with the intensity of it. Draco always stares back, until all it takes is a brush, a spark, before they go up like flash paper. The crash into each other is inevitable. Draco’s heart has got teeth. And there is nothing he won’t do to keep up the fight with Harry fucking Potter.

golden rim, slightly chipped by @rockingrobin69

Dear Anon, these are weird times, and your message meant so much to me that I somehow managed to delete it. I have no idea how to thank you other than reposting this - 700 words, extending on today’s domaystic drabble, very much for you. sorry love you sorry THANK YOU

Sweden | A Midsummer Night’s Dream (2020, E, 5.5k) by @drarrelie

With the war finally over, you’d think Harry would finally be granted that “normal life” he’s always dreamt about. Finally free from the Dursleys, from that nose-less megalomaniac, from Horcruxes, Hollows, Death Eaters, Dementors, Prophecies… you’d think that he, for the first time in his life, would be allowed to be just a normal teenager. You’d think he’d deserve that much, right? But then you haven’t considered Luna Lovegood. Luna, who has the most whimsical ideas that no one ever takes seriously. Luna, who apparently has Swedish heritage and knows about some strange Summer Solstice ritual that she wants to perform. Luna, who’s so sweet and kind that you can’t help but humour her when she offers you some distraction from your post-war confusion. Harry knows he should’ve known better, knows he shouldn’t have let her persuade him to go through with it. But he did. And now, Harry’s life will probably never be normal again.

Scotland | I’m Terrified, But the Truth is This… (2020, T, 7.3k) by @jessica-doom

Okay, so…Draco Malfoy has a thing for Harry Potter. Honestly, how could he not? When Harry invites him to be his "date" to his friends' wedding, Draco goes all-in on a soul-bearing display of his real feelings for the man. Once it becomes obvious that he misinterpreted Harry's intentions, Draco begins to feel like all hope has been lost on his Chosen One ever returning those feelings. Through the magic of the Summer Solstice (and perhaps a bit too much wine), he finally finds the courage to take his shot.

Decadent (E, 50 words) & Good (E, 350 words) by @tenthousandyearsx

Mirrored Dreams (2017, M, 4.5k) by @fleetofshippyships

Harry and Draco are back at Hogwarts for a reunion when they stumble across a very familiar mirror.

Day 260: Chain by @drarrily-we-row-along

The Slytherin Urn (2015, E, 4.6k) by @icmezzo

Nothing turns Harry on quite like redemption.

In Flight (2022, Gen, 4.8k) by Jen_814

“I could murder you,” Draco said conversationally, “I could willingly slit your throat about now, you know that right?” “You’ve been threatening to murder me for years,” reflected Harry. “Bit of an all talk, no trousers kind of a situation, isn’t it?” -- After some accidental magic (not completely Harry's fault), Harry & Draco are stuck together, thirteen hours in the past.

The High Priestess by @onbeinganangel (part of their Tarot Card Drabbles)

content: draco/harry, first person pov, legilimency, love confessions, idiots to lovers

What’s New, Buenos Aires? (2013, E, 9.3k) by @kedavranox

Draco and Harry are in the Portkey business! Hijinks ensue, Draco has a few panic attacks, Harry is seriously fit, and somehow they're stranded in Argentina.

There’s A Thunder Inside My Heart (It’s A Wonderful Pleasure) (2019, E, 9.8k) by @serenecalamity

Draco loves what he and Harry have.

fervour by @orange-peony

Written for @drarrymicrofic with the prompt "fervour". Rated M for mention of sex.

ART

memento mori by @swymsuyt

HP au where Draco starts to spend Christmas holidays at the Burrow and just loves Molly’s jumpers! by @oh-no-i-did-it

Harry Potter & Draco Malfoy by @arbutus-blossoms

Eighth year, maybe? What are they talking about? 👀 by @cuckooboo

drarry kiss by @darylsleftboob

it’s a harry~~ & Faster, Paddy! by @luendland

Imustnottelllies by @2334242xiao

House Tour: YOUR SAVIOUR LIVES LIKE THIS?!?! by @pontah

Harry & Draco portraits by @havdd-art

Muggle Date ✨ by @snarkyships-drarryside commissioned by @kantanruru

Snow Smooch ❄️ by @melcarrianna

the boys are shocked at their own daring (aaand it was probably an Excellent Kiss, let’s be real) by @skarhead

the golden trio. by @tae-rhr

suds fest video by @bluebutter-art

p.s. happy pride !!! 💖💜💙

♡ january ♡ february ♡ march ♡ april

[dem-obscure-imagines]

Try

Warren Worthington III x Reader

Fandom: Marvel/X-Men

Summary: Warren has been through hell and then some, but will meeting his soulmate turn that around?

Note: That’s right, it’s ya girl, back on my BS. I watched Apocalypse again and BIG SURPRISE, I’m in love with Warren and Kurt all over again. Still hyperfixating on Pietro also, so…expect more fics for him as well. Anyway, I’m a ho for soulmate aus and I haven’t written one for birb boi in literal years, so here ya go.

Reader is: Gender Neutral

Warnings: swears, mentions of alcohol

Word Count: 2.8k

Warren knew one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt: he didn’t deserve a soulmate. He didn’t. There was no question in his mind. Anyone who was destined to end up with his winged, alcoholic ass had been fucked over by the universe. No one deserved to be stuck with him for the rest of their lives. And yet, these thoughts didn’t seem to erase the words written on his forearm:

Hey, um, you’re Warren, right? The Professor wanted me to talk to you.

Professor. He scoffed. He was never going to college. If his parents had gotten their way, their son “cured” of his wings, he would have ended up at Harvard or Yale or somewhere similar. But it was far too late for that. Sitting in a cage in the back room of an illegal underground mutant fighting club in Berlin…it was far too late for that. He’d probably die before he met his soulmate anyway, rendering the prophecy on his wrist—and theirs, for that matter—useless. A waste of space.

That was all he was anyway.

He spiraled. His dependence on vodka got worse. The fights got harder. He wasn’t making it out unscathed anymore, winding up with burns and scrapes and cuts, depending on what kind of mutant he was up against. One night, one of his cuts had gotten dangerously close to the writing on his wrist. He stared at it for a long time, tears burning his eyeballs until they escaped and dripped down his cheeks, angry and hot.

He hated it, but even after everything, he still had hope. He still had hope that things would get better; that he could be better, even if it seemed impossible.

And then it got…worse.

Apocalypse had come, turned his wings to metal, tuned into his anger, his rage at the world, turned him into a monster, complete with knives for feathers and winding tattoos framing his face. He wished he could blame it on mind control or something, but Apocalypse hadn’t brainwashed him, only used his anger against him. Turned him into a weapon.

And then everything went black.

When he woke up after the battle, he was in an unfamiliar room, large and white and sterile; it smelled like hand sanitizer. He heard the steady beeping of a heart monitor and when he sat up, he noticed how sore he was. His whole body hurt. His head spun. But he was alive. And when he looked down at his tattoo, the words were still there. Wherever his soulmate was, they were fine. His stupidity in joining Apocalypse hadn’t caused anything to happen to them.

For the first time in what felt like years, he breathed.

“You’re awake.” A voice said as a tall man with brown hair entered his room. “I’ll let the Professor know.”

“Where…” his deep voice rasped and the man pointed to a glass of water sitting on the table adjacent to the cot he was situated in. He picked it up and took a few long, greedy sips, not realizing just how thirsty he was until the cool drink hit his tongue. “Where am I? What is this place?”

“This is the infirmary at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters.” The man told him, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “You’re safe here.”

Warren nodded hesitantly, but didn’t say anything else. Safe. The word was almost a myth to him at this point. But at least he felt like he could rest for a little while.

***

It had been a few weeks since Apocalypse and his horsemen had almost ended the world. Erik had decided to stick around, and two of the younger horsemen, Storm and “the Angel of Death,” respectively, had been absorbed into the school’s student body. You didn’t know the Angel’s name. No one really talked to him, not even Ororo, Storm, who had been quickly adopted by your friend group.

Supposedly, Peter had tried to talk to the Angel guy, but he didn’t say anything to him. Ororo theorized he probably felt guilty about the whole thing. She did. But you all knew she didn’t know what Apocalypse was really trying to do. He probably hadn’t either, but that didn’t seem to keep the grim expression off of his face.

It was on a nice, sunny day that Xavier called you into his office, and you went down without complaint, knocking on the door a few times before he called you inside. You sat in the chair across from his desk.

“Hi, Professor. What’s going on?” You asked.

“Ah, yes. Just the empath and healer I wanted to see.” He smiled brightly. “(Y/N), if you don’t mind it too terribly, I have a small job for you.”

“Of course! What do you need?”

“I’m sure you’ve seen our newest pupil, Warren, around.”

You thought for a moment. “The, uh, guy with the wings? The big metal ones?”

“Precisely.” He nodded. “Warren…he’s been having quite a hard time adjusting.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“He came to me yesterday discussing…well, quite simply, he was wondering if any of our mutants here would be capable of…reverting him to his previous state. His wings, before Apocalypse, were made of feathers. They’ve been serving as quite a reminder to him and it’s been weighing pretty heavily on him, both literally and emotionally.”

“Yeah, I’ve, uh, caught his vibes from across campus.” You nodded. “It’s like there’s always a rain cloud hanging over his head.”

“Yes,” Xavier agreed. “It doesn’t have to be right away, but at your nearest convenience, if you see him around, would you talk to him? Tell him I sent you?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see what I can do.” You promised him.

As an empath and a healer, your first priority was helping others. And even if he was known to be a bit intimidating, you wanted to help him if you could.

So, you walked out of Xavier’s office, attended your final class of the day, and when it was over, you wandered out into the courtyard where, because of the nice weather, students were everywhere. And luckily for you, just as you suspected he might be, Warren was sitting under a tree, still sporting his leather jacket despite the warm weather.

You shielded your eyes from the sun and walked over towards him, your heart racing as you built up the courage to talk to him. So, you took a breath and said, “Hey, um, you’re Warren, right? The Professor wanted me to talk to you.”

He stared up at you for a long moment, his green eyes wide in shock. He took a breath, blinked a few times, glanced down at his wrist, and then back up at you. You could have sworn you saw tears beginning to form along his waterline, and you didn’t realize why until he said, “You’re my…No…Oh my God…I’m…I’m so sorry.”

You froze, your knees going weak. You glanced down at your bare forearm and read over the words he’d just said, exactly the way he’d just said them.

You’re my…No…Oh my God…I’m…I’m so sorry.

“Why are you sorry?” You whispered, lowering yourself onto the grass beside him, not trusting your legs to support your weight for much longer. Now you were the one with tears in your eyes. “Don’t be sorry.”

“You deserve so much more than me.” He insisted, his eyes locked on his boots, unwilling and unable to meet your gaze. “I can’t drag you into…this. Me.”

His emotions were heavy, a bleak blue and gray haze and you felt it radiate off of him in waves. His pain, his everything. And you felt it, deep within his chest. He thought you wouldn’t want him anyway.

“Warren…” You shook your head. “Why…Why would you think I don’t want you?”

He was shocked into silence for a few seconds, thinking over his words carefully, his jaw tense and hands shaking. “You’re a telepath?”

“Empath.” You corrected quietly. “And…a healer. Which is why Xavier sent me.”

“Oh. Right.” He swallowed thickly, nodding. “Did he…tell you why?”

“He did.” You smiled softly. “And I’m willing to try if you are.”

Finally, his eyes met yours and he could tell that you meant more than just the healing when you said it. The weak little voice in the back of his head was screaming for him to push you away like he pushed away everyone else, but looking into your eyes, a genuine and warm smile on your face, he just…couldn’t lose you.

He couldn’t lose anyone else.

***

Today was the day. Warren was sitting on a stool in the infirmary. Hank had run his vitals and the two of them were in the room waiting for you to come down after your class was over.

“(Y/N) is the one who saved you, you know.” Hank told Warren while he jotted down some notes.

“What?” Warren asked, snapping out of whatever daydream he had been caught up in. “What do you mean?”

“(Y/N) found you in the rubble. We didn’t think you would make it, but…they healed you. They insisted we bring you back here. Give you a chance.”

Warren was quiet for a long time, thinking about what that meant. Part of him wondered if (Y/N) had known back then that he was their soulmate, but he decided that would have been impossible with just their tattoos alone. Especially without context. They hadn’t known and yet, they’d still wanted the best for him.

“Didn’t know that.” Warren said, his voice soft and deep. He stared at the words on his wrist for a little longer, a hint of warmth swirling around in his stomach. Was this happiness? Was that what happiness felt like? He barely remembered anymore. But he knew there must have been a reason that when you walked through the door, his heart started beating a little bit faster.

“Sorry I’m so late. Professor Leaf kept us a little later than she was supposed to. Are you ready?” You asked taking off your backpack and setting it against the wall. As soon as you looked up at Warren, you felt the way his heart rate was increased and you didn’t miss the warmth swirled with the anxiousness. The anxiousness, you had expected. Even you didn’t know if you could pull off what you were going to attempt to do, but the warmth…it was a pleasant surprise.

“Don’t worry about it.” He told you, shaking his head. Was he…was he smiling? It was a small smile, sure, but you didn’t think you had ever seen him smile before. It looked good on him. “I’m ready when you are.”

“Alright.” You nodded, walking over towards him. Underneath where he was situated on a stool, Hank had laid out some pads from the training room, you assumed, to catch his metal feathers if they fell out rather than transforming back to his normal…feather feathers. None of you really knew how this would unfold. “Again, I’m not sure this will work. I don’t want to get your hopes up in case it doesn’t.”

“I’m not expecting it to.” Warren assured you, but it wasn’t in a rude way. “If it does, I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Cross my heart.” What he didn’t say was: You could never disappoint me. Not even if you tried.

“Okay.” You nodded, taking a few steps closer until you were standing right in front of him. He looked up at you and for the first time, you didn’t feel any negative emotions from him. Only anticipation and that lingering warmth. “Here goes nothing.”

You focused on the warmth in your own chest, the tingling yellow healing power that constantly swirled around your heart, and you forced it into your palms. You reached forward for his hands and he took the hint, his larger hands wrapping around yours.

Immediately, he gasped at the sensation, warm tingles running up his arms, down his spine. It stopped in the center of his back, right where his wings intersected with his body. At first, he didn’t feel anything. And then, he felt everything. The pleasant warmth flooded his metal wings, and one by one, the knife-like feathers fell out, each one landing with a thud against the mat situated underneath him.

Hank’s pencil jotted against his notebook as he took notes. He knew you were powerful, but he’d had no idea you were capable of something like this.

Neither had you.

Once the metal wings were gone, Warren felt a new sensation: another pair of wings, this one soft and familiar, slowly emerging from him. Part of him expected the process to be painful, like the one Apocalypse had forced upon him was, but it wasn’t. Warren chuckled to himself. Of course you would never hurt him. Not even unintentionally.

After a few minutes, the feathery wings had fully emerged, stretched out to his full former wingspan and he stared up at you in awe. You stopped your flow of power to him, but he held onto your hands, squeezing them to keep them in his grasp.

He looked back at his new wings, flexed them and moved them. They felt familiar, like they had always belonged to him.

“Thank you.” He said, giving your hands another squeeze, the warmth in his chest brighter and bolder than it had been before. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course.” You told him, squeezing his hands right back in a way that caused his heart to lurch. “I’m glad I could help.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but do you mind if I keep some of these for research?” Hank asked.

“Keep all of them, if you want. I don’t want them.” Warren told him, standing up from his stool, his hands still in yours. “So, um…do you want to go grab dinner or something?”

“Sure.” You nodded, smiling up at him. “See you later, Hank.”

“Bye, guys, have a nice night.” Hank said as you and Warren walked out of his lab. He couldn’t help but notice the way one of your hands remained in one of his as the two of you left.

***

Later that night, after dinner and after you and Warren had split for the evening, you were walking back to your room from Jean and Jubilee’s and you found Warren, lingering in his doorway, his toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. His eyes widened when he spotted you and he held up a finger, indicating you should wait for him, so you did while he went into his bathroom and rinsed out his mouth, returning a few moments later.

“Hey.” He said, the word casual as it fell from his pink lips.

“Hey yourself.” You chuckled, feeling ridiculously underdressed in your pajamas. But then again, he was wearing his pajamas, too, a large black Metallica shirt and a pair of plaid pants.

“How…how are you? Feeling?” He stumbled over his words, chuckling as he rubbed the back of his neck. You felt a wave of nervousness rush through him. “Hank said sometimes you get tired after, uh, bigger healing jobs?”

“I’m fine.” You nodded. “For whatever reason, I never get tired when I’m healing you.” You chuckled, your cheeks heating up the slightest bit. “Well…I think I know why…”

“Heh, yeah.” He nodded, mulling over his next words very carefully. “Did you, um…I don’t know how to ask this. Did you mean what you said about…trying? About us trying…this. Trying us.”

“Of course I did.” You nodded and took a few steps closer to him. “You’re my soulmate.” You reached for his hand and he gave it to you, letting you play with his fingers. You felt the way his heart fluttered when you did. “Of course I want to try.”

“I’m broken.” He told you. “I’ve never done this before. I’m…I’m a lot, and I know that.”

“Well it’s a good thing I’m a healer, huh?” You tilted your head. “And if we’re being honest, I’ve never done this before either. So how about we teach each other? Learn together?”

He smiled softly, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s do that.”

You let go of his hand and instead took the last few steps between the two of you, wrapping your arms around his torso. He froze for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. It had been…a long time since anyone had hugged him. But after a few moments, his arms got the hint and wrapped around you, pulling you to his chest. He rested his head atop yours and exhaled a long, long breath. And for the first time since you’d met him, you felt a wave of peace wash over him, encasing him entirely as his wings gently cocooned you in their warmth.

You felt his lips brush against your temple, pressing a soft kiss there. You looked up at him and his eyes met yours before fluttering shut as he leaned in to press his lips to yours.

[hogwartsfirebolt]

cw: wizarding war, and the violence it ensues.

The year bled.

It bled great gouts of wizards, beacons of hope shining bright red at the tip of their wands. Led them to their deaths, in the battlefront that had taken their friends and family, yet remained unsatisfied.

The year took his Hagrid, took his Ron, the year flung a sword into Harry’s survival instincts and turned them inside out — backwards, all wrong. He lived and breathed for his days on the front, inhabited the outermost trench for longer than anyone was allowed, his wand glowing green more often than red.

Voldemort’s tooth — sharp, a snake’s poisonous incisive — hung on a thread, rested against Harry’s throat, had for the better part of the season. Yet the war raged on.

There’d been a time when things had been simpler.

“Will you be resting this fortnight?” Hermione had asked him when she’d served, a few days earlier. She was at a safe-house, now, replenishing her core, drawing energy from the underground streams that pulsed with golden magic so she would be ready to return to the fight. It was was everyone did, every couple of weeks, what their warlord had ordered.

Harry’d not been to a safe-house in three months. He’d not known anything but carnage in all those days, was beginning to suspect that the inexhaustible nature of his core didn’t extend to his body, definitely didn’t extend to his mind.

“Where are they getting this strength? These numbers?” Ron had asked, the night before a Death Eater had torn his head right off his neck.

They still did not know the answer. It happened everyday, at the strike of dawn: dozens of Death Eaters arrived at the front, and it didn’t matter that Harry sliced right through their ranks like a sword, there were dozens more the next morning. And they still did not know the answer.

It was not simple. Nothing was simple.

“They must have found a way to clone their soldiers. It can be done — they have Voldemort’s knowledge on soul-splitting.” Kingsley had written, in the letter Harry had received two days earlier. “Soon enough they will press at their advantage. I trust you will know what to do. Do not fail me.”

There was no “soon enough”. The advantage was already being pressed, every waking second, on multiple fronts. Harry spent his days blocking them with his magic, with his body, and his nights fighting against their secret weapon, they one they seemed to reserve for him only — the mind games.

“They impersonate us?” Arthur had asked, when he’d brought health potions the previous week.

“They show up as you, or Molly, Gin, R-Ron. I’m not sure what they want, they seem to be trying to extract information, but not on our lines, not on our manpower. I don’t know what I have that they want.”

“Don’t trust anyone.”

The days cut him, and the nights suffocated him. He got approached by group after group of imposters, wearing a different face every night. People Harry loved and hadn't seen in months. Those ones didn't hurt as much. Not like it hurt when it was people he had loved and lost.

Arthur had told him not to trust anyone. Some nights, he didn’t even trust himself.

He was going mad, sending away whoever it was that wore Cedric’s body, that showed up in his mother’s face, that slipped into Sirius’ limbs like they would into a coat. People he trusted, people he loved, and whose memory would forever be tainted by this, in his mind.

The night Draco Malfoy showed up, Harry thought it was another mind trick. Then, he realized that it broke the pattern. He’d never trusted, never loved, never even tolerated Draco Malfoy.

But there he was. He showed up, nose bleeding, broken arm cradled against his chest, miserable, everything Harry raged against. His tears shone bright silver over his cheekbones, down his jaw, carrying magical energy, draining him.

“Please,” he said. “Please, I don’t know where else to go.”

Harry didn’t trust him, he shouldn’t help him. But he did. He mended the fractured bones, cut his own palm with a knife and gave him some of his magical energy, poured it right into his gaping mouth. Saved his life.

Malfoy stayed.

Something like guilt, if he was still capable of that, draped itself across Harry’s shoulders as he fed him their food, let him drink from their goblets, gave him their healing potions.

He didn’t trust him. He didn’t trust himself.

Malfoy talked, at least, which was useful.

“Portraits.” He coughed, shivery from the core-loss. “They all have hundreds of them, their magical energy split. Not their souls, that’s not sustainable, it’s their magical energy. And they take them out, give them life. There’s an energy source, and an ancient spell, a rune ... I wasn’t told, but I saw, she performed it in front of me. Please, I’ll tell you. I ran. I need your help.”

Harry didn’t need to ask who she was.

“I can fight. I can help. Please. Please, they killed my mother.”

And there were the tears again, but crystal clear, no longer carrying Malfoy’s power. Harry had successfully stopped the drainage.

“I shouldn’t.”

“Please. Write to your general, I’ll say anything, I hate her.”

There had been a time in which Malfoy’s desperation would have made him feel at an advantage, would have made him laugh, prod at the wound. But that time was long gone, desperation was the only thing he knew now, as well, and there was no winning. It was a winless fight. Malfoy was too human, too scared, not an instrument of war.

“No. We don’t know he’s telling the truth, I forbid you from sheltering him.” Kingsley’s letter said.

There’d been a time when things had been simpler.

But the war raged, the weeks blended into each other, and the pain, renewed as it was every single day, numbed him.

Harry was human. Harry was scared. Harry was an instrument of war.

He sheltered him anyway.

“One wrong move, and you’re out. You have one chance.”

Malfoy nodded, weeping right there in the trench, in his blood-stained clothes. Harry couldn’t afford to distrust him, was too busy staying alive.

And Malfoy did not fail him. In the morning light, dozens of Death Eaters Harry had killed a million times marched into the battlefield, and Malfoy fought next to him. Harry’d not had anyone watch his back in months, and it made for a nice change.

At night, they fended off the imposters, and Harry fed him his own magical energy, watched him grow stronger with it. His core was inexhaustible, he knew. He didn’t have to send Malfoy away to regain strength, he gave it to him, every single night.

It was forbidden, but it was also the only thing that seemed right in the vortex of destruction he’d been living in.

“She keeps an artifact at the Manor. It looks like a prophecy, is kept under lock and key inside her chambers. I saw it, she made me clean it once. I think it’s the source of all this. I think if you destroy it, this will be over.” Malfoy said, three weeks after they’d been fighting side by side. He looked stronger, energized, and if Harry closed his eyes, he could feel his own magic inside Draco’s corestream, like an extension of himself.

“How?”

He felt Draco prodding back, felt him extending his energy so it circled back to Harry, so it flowed freely between them.

“There’s no time to look. Burn down the manor.”

The discovery that they could access each other’s magic should have been monumental, yet felt like nothing at all. They’d known, they’d experienced it every night for weeks. An intimacy unlike any other, between enemies, between allies.

“I thought I forbid you from taking him in.” Kingsley’s letter said, when Harry proposed the idea. It didn’t feel like a reprimand. It felt like a father, telling a child off for keeping a stray kitten. “I have sent reinforcements to the front, come to headquarters. Both of you. We’re burning the house this week.”

The plan was to march off to Malfoy Manor the morning after they arrived at headquarters. Instead, they slept for three days straight.

They were in different rooms, but Harry only had to close his eyes to trace his energy back to Draco, and it soothed him.

They’d been enemies. They were human, they were scared. Now, they were allies. Now, they were one, more than they were two.

“I think we can read each other’s minds.” Malfoy said when they woke up, except he wasn’t anywhere in the room. The voice had come from Harry’s head.

“So it seems.”

They found each other in the kitchen, had breakfast, made vague conversation, not a single word spoken out loud.

“Is the war ending?”

“Once they stop multiplying like crazy, we can beat them, and stop fighting. Live our lives, maybe. But I don’t think the war will ever end, Draco.”

He wanted to explain that he felt like he would carry it forever, but he didn’t have to. In the space between thinking it and wanting to communicate it, he already had.

“I know.”

For the first time in months, when Harry searched inside himself, he didn’t feel empty. There was energy, magic, there was someone else with him, in the space that had existed between his anger and his grief.

“Also, I can do wandless now," Draco added.

“Yeah, that’s on me.”

“Do you think this means we are …?”

“Yeah.”

They showered.

After, they apparated to Malfoy Manor, didn’t even have to touch to do it together, the crack of the spell going off in unison, turning heads once they arrived. The entire Order was there, and, in front of them, the house aflame.

The Manor bled. It bled tendrils of black magic that dissipated into thin air, screamed, called to the tooth hanging at Harry’s neck. He wrapped his fingers around it and held it tight — his trophy, his burden.

All that was left of the enemy army were twenty wizards that scuttled out of the blazing house like fleeing rats. She wasn’t amongst them. Somehow, Harry knew she’d died trying to protect her energy source. He knew that he would have, and soldiers weren't so different.

He and Draco took care of the survivors, both their powers pulled into a single explosion of green.

“Wow.” Hermione said, standing next to Harry.

“We think it’s over.”

“You two are …”

“Yeah.”

“Permanently.”

“Yeah.”

“You know that’s forbidden.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

The year had bled, had been an open wound. Then it had been cleaned and stitched, messily, but closed. It ached. It bore the name of the friend Harry had loved the most, his other half. It would never go away, it would scar.

But it was healing.

Harry reached out with his magic, and felt Draco meet him halfway.

-

Written for @drarrymicrofic prompt "forbidden"

[bellamioneotp]

Bellamione Fics Master List #2

Another long list of good fics to enjoy!! I’m not categorizing this one, because I’m lazy as fuck. 

Looks can be Deceiving The Golden Trio take down Voldemort but his icky ideologies still remain. Hermione takes them on head on, causing lots of bickering with Bellatrix that leads to eventual romance and lots of adventure. Gives off Kigo vibes in a way. Kigo/10

Curfew Hermione standing up against shitty governments, which is so on time right now. 7/10 for time to take the big man down. 

Embracing the Darkness A Dark AU in which Hermione’s relationship with Ron is what triggers her spiral into a dark descent. The story hasn’t gone far into the premise yet. 6/10 for patience is needed to let the story unravel. 

Hermione Noctis A soulmate au. It only has two chapters out but hopefully more will be updated? 6/10 for get ready for some soulmate shenanigans. 

The Bitter Wake This starts off after Dumbledore’s death and features Bellamione helping each other out, and trying to navigate a changed world. 7/10 for this interesting plot. 

Carpe Noctem Honestly, such a good read. It is a slow burn like no slow burn before I have read. Hermione’s in love with another woman but it begins to morph into a love for Bellatrix. The story leaves off on such a cliff hanger and I hope at some point it will be continued. It’s worth the read for the amazingly well thought and planned out plot, the amount of detail in the story, and the rich environment. 10/10 it’s time to seize some reading glasses because this story is thick boi. 

Destined A time travel fic! Picks up after the battle at the Department of Mysteries. A good read and the Bellamione is well written. 7/10 for pack your bags it’s time we time travel. 

Oblivate This one has been ongoing since 2013 so don’t expect any fast updates. Additionally, the writing style is a bit rough at the beginning but the plot’s interesting and it builds up quite nicely. 6/10 for the long update times that will oblivate your memory of the plot and make you have to re-read the chapters. 

The Asset It’s pretty much an assassin fic. Hermione is Bellatrix’s handler and they go on missions. You can imagine how well that goes. Features a Russian!Bellatrix which I didn’t know I needed but I need about ten thousand more fics of her like this, yes please. 8/10 for this international thriller that gives off Killing Eve vibes. 

The Black Sister’s Act Basically a sister act spin off. Lots of fun to read but hard to tell if the author will continue this story. 3/10 for that’s how many sisters there are. 

The Romanov Prophecy features the rise of the house of Romanov. Slightly Anastasia vibes and featuring battles and prophecies. And of course, Bellamione that is predestined by the stars. 6/10 for make it Anastasia but gay. 

Hell of a Witch I can’t find this fic anymore, but if you can manage to find it, read it. It’s pretty good; you’ll have to take my word for it. 6/10 for where the hell did this go?!

Arsonist’s Lullaby Fire and Bellamione. What more could you want? Also features my good friend angst in copious amounts and a reformed Bellatrix (sorta). 7/10 for this lullaby will not put you to sleep. 

Toujours Pur A fic in which the main characters don’t try to change each other. Also told from first person pov that switches around. Only a few chapters out but hopefully more will be on their way. 8/10 for this story is pure Bellamione. 

Rosier’s Prophecy This fic is currently under construction but it features time travel and prophecies with the three sisters Black traveling to the future to meet the Golden Trio in an effort to be saved by their mother. 7/10 interesting concept that I hope we get to see more of. 

Love’s Odyssey in Death’s Design AHHHHHHHH please update. Basically a reformed Bellatrix in which she is given a chance to be a better person but it comes at the hands of a helping Hermione. And boy oh boy, they are not buddies. Love/love for love. 

Strange and Beautiful, This one can be found on Deviantart unlike the other fics which were found on fanfiction. 5/10 for reading on Deviantart is weird? 

The Black Mouse and the Lost Girl A short but complete fanfic, where Hermione and Bellatrix both see different sides of each other than what they expected. This changes their whole perspective on each other and leads to a changed relationship. The romance moves fast in this one. Mouse and cat/10 for this mouse named fic. 

Signiferis mortis et Aeterna lux In which the bad guys have won and the good guys have to hide. Along the way, Bellatrix and Hermione fall in love. This fic has stopped updating but it’s still worth a look if you’re running dry on Bellamione fics. 7/10 for just bookmark this fic because it takes too long to type up the name in the search bar. 

Alternative Black A fic with a hefty 50 chapters, and it’s finished! Involves some canon with an alternative ending to it. This fic isn’t too dark and is evenly paced. And it provides an entertaining other version of Bellatrix and Hermione’s relationship. 7/10 for a good alternative to alternatives. 

Altera Aretla  A parallel universe fic, in which a lot of stuff is unexpected. Good premise and fun to read. The chapters are short and there’s not a lot out yet but it’s worth a look. 7/10 for these chapters need to be longer. 

The Woman in the Attic is a Victorian Gothic-esque story. It updates monthly so far and the chapters are thick. Bellatrix is a bit crazy in this one but there seems to be more to it than meets the eye. Of course Hermione is there to make things better. This AU type seems promising. 7/10 for I can’t wait to see how their relationship evolves. 

Breaking the Window In which it’s kinda a time travel fic but not really? Featuring a pool and war, and Bellatrix and Hermione try to figure out a way to save the world while decades apart. 7/10 for let’s get wet. 

Through Sand and Sea This fic has 86 chapters out (at the time of writing this) so if you need a long juicy Bellamione story to read, look no further! it is a slow burn so there will be a lot of sand before you reach the sea, if you get what I mean. 8/10 for don’t be salty when your eyes hurt after reading over 300k words. 

In the Darkest of Shadows is the prequel to that one teacher fic on ao3 that we all know about (right?). Reading it adds more to that extended Teacher-verse. 7/10 for Miss Bellatrix, can you grade me more harshly?

There Will be Love (Not Half as Much as Privilege) Which is a massive fic that basically looks at war in the HP universe. It has other additional fics relating to it as well, so if you really need an immersive Bellamione fic with lots of material to get through for that long weekend at the house of that aunt you hate, this would work. 6/10 for that’s about as much as I got through. 

Child of the Dark Which I am going to label as a Dark AU just because. It features lies, deceit, and Hermione trying to get to the bottom of it all, during her fifth year at Hogwarts. I wanna go home/10 because it deals with Hermione being kidnapped and other dark themes. 

I Need your Lavender Kiss A cafe AU. served piping hot! Only two chapters out but hopefully there will be more. 7/10 because Starbucks who? 

A Trip to Space Is a bit of a crackfic but is a nice palette cleanser from the more serious fics. Bellamione do drugs. It’s a one shot. Infinity/10 because they’re just gone to space, man. 

There’s an Old Myth Is a two chapter fic about werewolves. It gets pretty hairy. Full moon/10 because they look pretty under moonlight. 

Give me Control Which is about- you guessed it!- giving control. A smutty one shot/10 for those smutty yet tender feels. 

Sore Loser Which is a smutty Halloween fic. Trick or treat/10 for give me some sugah, honey. 

                                       These fics need no introduction: 

Those Gilded Chains we Wear

Our Mercurial Selves

All these stories can be found either on Ffnet or ao3. 

[cto10121]

you’re oversimplifying the argument surrounding the darklings hunger for power. i agree, alina isn’t alina without her powers. but it’s quite clear that the darkling is willing to prioritize the use and commodification of her powers over her agency and personhood. his main goal was to orient alina towards his political cause so he could use her powers, the feelings came after. when it became clear that alina would choose a different path, the darkling threw her independence and right to consent out the window and collared her to harness her power as his own. this is a clear indication that he prioritizes that utility of alinas powers > her. the argument that “alina is not alina without her powers!” in this case makes little sense because you’re somehow implying that the darkling’s primary motivation for pursuing alina was because he liked her for who she was, which is just as inaccurate.

Okay, this is where we have to be clear which Darkling we are talking about, book!Darkling or show!Darkling. Because there is a clear difference between the two and how their motivations and actions were written and we cannot move forward without acknowledging the changes and the (bad) writing that plagues the Darkling re: motivation.

Because for better or worse, unlike book!Darkling, show!Darkling makes little to no distinction between Alina the person and Alina the Sun Summoner. Even in his language he uses mostly Alina or Miss Starkov, depending on the situation and context; post-Episode 5, he uses Sun Summoner with Ivan and the other Grisha, but (revealingly) Alina with Zoya. He constantly looks straight at Alina during her light demonstrations and not her light, even when others do. “I have seen you for what you truly are, and I have never looked away. I never will” betrays the core of this attitude and it does ring true (Barnes at least confirmed it to be a non-manipulative line). To the Darkling at some level, Alina and the Summoner are one and the same. It’s even questionable that he even planned to control her power with the amplifier from the get-go; it reads more like he expected (delusionally?) Alina to see his side of things and understand why they should keep to the Fold for now. It reads more like a decision he took only after Alina left him, which he construed as a personal betrayal and a break of trust (from his POV).

Yes, he did plan to use the Sun Summoner for his own devices because, well, he knew her as only the Sun Summoner in the beginning—just like most if not all the characters in the show. She had political significance to him and others. But that he started to see her as more than that is pretty evident even early on. I won’t lie, I did laugh at the “are you sure?” consent request—oh, yes, control her power via amplifier without her consent, but for sex, surely not!!!—but again, it reaffirms the theory that show!Darkling’s original intentions were most likely to let Alina kill the stag and take over its power and then reveal his plan to expand the Fold. It would even explain lines like that incredulous, cold, and even judgmental “You would give up your gift?” Ep. 2 line after Alina offers to transfer her power to someone who would use it—not the type of reaction someone planning to do exactly just that would have. You’d think 500 years of existence would give you a finer appreciation of irony.

Does this mean that since the Darkling initially planned to use her that his eventual falling for her is therefore less pure/inferior to Mal’s love? Yeah, if you have a black-and-white “only love based on and arising from pure motivations is valid!!!” type of view. Does this mean that since he wouldn’t have looked twice at Alina had she not been the Sun Summoner, his love for her is less pure? Well, considering book!Mal 1) did not even notice Alina romantically until after she was taken to the Little Palace and 2) definitely had tons of trouble accepting Alina as the Sun Summoner in Book 2 before magically becoming warmly supportive in Book 3, I’m not too fussed over splitting logical hairs and playing the what-if fanfic AU game at ridiculous levels (“Voldemort would never look twice at Harry Potter if he weren’t a wizard destined to destroy him!! He just hated him because of the prophecy, it’s not true hate!!!” *le sigh*). Also, what about Nikolai? He, too, initially viewed Alina as a symbol of hope, used her for his gain, and proposed a strictly political marriage for alliance. Doesn’t take away from the fact that he did come to like her for herself and it sure did not stop most of the fandom from simping for him hard or shipping him with Alina.

I’m frankly too old for purity tests; kindergarten was a long time ago for me, you see. We may enjoy fictional villains for their nigh-omniscient, well, villainy, but in the real world and in fiction that seeks to portray its messiness, you never have as much control as you think you do, no one does. Power and privilege are very much relative. And above all, things never go according to plan. The fact that the Darkling initially viewed Alina as the Sun Summoner to play a key part of his plans does not take away from the fact that he did honestly fell for her and came to see her as more than just the Summoner. He did do wrong in trying to control her, definitely, but for reasons I’ve explained, it’s not as revealing of his true view of her as you’d think. “I’ll relax,” as he tells Zoya when he rejects (!!) her advances, “when I have Alina.” Not Sun Summoner.

(Also, as a bit of a P.S., much of my original post was not so much about the Darkling as the fandom’s own cleaving of Alina from her powers. I get that Bardugo’s narrative almost encourages the reader to view Alina’s powers as something apart from Alina, powers that corrupt her or could, but I must question that artistic decision, especially since 1) it contradicts the established magical system so damn hard and 2) magical male heroes like Harry Potter never face the prospect of losing their power or having their power be controlled by another or even being “corrupted” just by using their power. I really resent that sexist double standard. If Harry weren’t a wizard, he would not be Harry. If Alina weren’t the Sun Summoner, she would not be Alina.)

[milfmacbeth]

what got you into classic literature and mythology in the first place? i want to read more of it to get better at analysis but i can never figure out where to start :(

hi anon! i’m not an expert in the slightest so take all of this with a gigantic heap of salt

i got into classic literature by being a pretentious smartass who wanted to look Sophisticated™ and somewhere down the line i discovered that classic literature is actually fun and worth reading for more than just bragging rights. that being said, i think the issue with getting into “classic literature” might be that the definition is so broad as to be meaningless. seriously, dante’s divine comedy and jane austen's pride and prejudice can both be called “classic literature” so i’m going to break this down a little to be more specific. 

here’s how i started or how i think you could start: (essay under the cut)

the classics (as in literature from ancient greece and ancient rome)

start with homer. seriously, i see no point in starting anywhere else. i started with the iliad which took some convincing because i expected it to be boring and incomprehensible. what did i get? one of the best fucking stories i ever read, filled with blood and death and tragedy and love. it’s beautifully written and so so worth reading. although i feel obligated to mention that "graphic depictions of violence" doesn't begin to describe it. homer isn't content with telling you that a character died, homer needs to tell you the exact angle at which a spear pierced a characters liver. it's a book about the horrors of war, after all. i read the robert fagles translation which is excellent and which brings me to my next point: i cannot overstate the importance of a good translation. with most ancient greek and latin stuff, you have the luxury of multiple translations and trust me, it’ll take you like three sentences to figure out whether or not you vibe with a specific translation. online previews are your friend!

(and if i may rant for a bit, the iliad should be mandatory reading on this hellsite and anyone who wants to act like they know what they’re talking about because they read a patrochilles fanfic once can fight me)

classic literature (as in anything older than a few decades that we as a society still give a shit about)

this can be anything which makes it really difficult to recommend stuff but here are some starting points 

when it comes to english literature, you can never go wrong with my good friend billy the bard (shakespeare). my faves are macbeth (witches! prophecies! a mad king on a downward spiral!) and hamlet (ghosts! depression! one of the rawest monologues i’ve heard in my life!). but you can literally just pick any play and go with it. 

as for getting some media analysis practice in. i really liked ray bradbury’s fahrenheit 451 and george orwell’s 1984. they’re filled with Themes and Metaphors. they’re both short and they’re both about as subtle as a neon sign on fire. they are practically hitting you over the head with how much the curtains are not just blue. fahrenheit 451 has a more hopeful tone whereas 1984 is as bleak as it gets. 

[spoilers] 1984 ends in such complete and utter defeat of the protagonist, i wanted to throw that book across the room when i finished it and i had to stare at a wall for a few minutes to process what the fuck just happened. good times!

as for media analysis, you can practice with literally any story. the classics just happen to be more thematically intricate than your standard hollywood movie. it just comes down to trying to figure out how a story works. does it work? if not, why? what was the author trying to do and did they succeed? i think the tv tropes wiki is a really good resource that explains tropes in layman’s terms and provides examples for each. 

mythology

this one’s tricky because there are so many mythologies. if you’re just getting into it, i’d start with the big ones (greek, roman, norse, egyptian)

the big ones usually have primary sources:

greek: iliad, odyssey, theogony

roman: metamorphoses, aeneid (i think)

norse: prose edda, poetic edda

egyptian: ???

if you want something a little more accessible, there’s a lot of books recounting the same stories for a modern audience. i personally love neil gaiman’s norse mythology because it first introduces you to the gods and then recounts the most important stories from the prose edda and the poetic edda. i’m usually a slow reader but neil gaiman somehow has the magical ability to make me rip through his stuff in a day or two. highly recommended!

and i only quickly rifled through roger green’s tales of ancient egypt but i really liked what i saw.

on the slightly more obscure side (irish, japanese, persian myth, just to name a few) you can probably still find some primary sources. the first few paragraphs of wikipedia will tell you where to look.

anything more obscure than that takes a special kind of masochist. (i’m researching slavic myth and it makes me want to kill)

so yeah, i hope this was somewhat helpful. there is a lot of classic literature and myth. i haven’t read nearly enough of it but if you consider me qualified to give advice (big mistake) then my asks and dm’s are always open.

[dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you]

I saw in your tags that there’s some old destiel fic you like on ffn. Do you have any recs ? :)

omg I haven’t been on there in years! like last time I read anything on there was like in 2014 lmao xD

32 fics total - I just checked and all of them are still up...there’s like 30+ more that I bookmarked that isn’t on the list cuz I’m not sure if they’re destiel fics or not so I gotta re-read them

all the ones below are fics that I’ve recced before in the past

1. All Angels Need Their Wings - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 29,784 (2012)

Dean never thought that Castiel would ever return. And when he did, he came in a very unexpected way, a very horrifying way. SLASH Castiel/Dean. Wing-Kink. Takes place in season 7. AU.

2. Heart Trouble - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 74,320 (2011)

Dean's having a harder and harder time of denying what he feels for a certain blue-eyed friend of his. And it's making him a little ornery, and a lot confused.

3. It Hurts - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 29,963 (2013)

Inspired by the S9 Trailer Cas had watched the angels fall and with them, his self worth. Now human facing the challenges of navigating mortality he also tries to find a place for himself in this new world. It is a hope he has to find without the Winchesters, without Dean. So now he runs, from both Heaven, Hell and from Dean. 

4. Small Problem - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 13,310 (2011)

A cursed artifact has made Castiel miniature, it's amusing for the Winchesters at first until they realize he might stay that way forever. Slash Dean/Castiel Please R&R

5 My Broken Angel - RATING: M | LENGTH: 24,999 (2010)

When Castiel disappears from his vessel, Dean is concerned. But when Castiel reappears and seems to avoid him, Dean is heartbroken. Set mid-season 5. 

6. A Hand - RATING: M | LENGTH: 23,474 (2010)

Dean/Cas, multichapter, slight AU. Dean's busy trying to re-soulify his brother, but Cas needs help. Maybe it's time Dean gave it to him. Ch. 15: Dean glared indignantly. "I find the term 'lovebirds' to be offensive. We prefer to be called 'sex-falcons.'" 

7. Saving Grace - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 38,602 (2010)

With everything that was going wrong in Dean's life, it took him a while to realize that the person close to him that really needed the most help was Castiel. 

8. Candy - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 98,068 (2013)

The Fall from Heaven changed everything. The supernatural no longer hidden. Angels roaming the planet. Sam and Dean's immediate concerns were on a smaller scale. What do you do with the former King of Hell? Where is Castiel?... Destiel/Mute!Human!Cas/Angst!Dean

9. Dude, Dean Looks Like a Lady - RATING: M | LENGTH: 20,774 *gen/pre-slash* (2013)

Sam's good, Cas has been found, and demons everywhere seem to be on hiatus. Seems like things are looking up for Team Free Will that is until Dean wakes up with his very own vagina anyway. Warnings: Fem!Dean, Destiel, female masturbation and S8 spoilers.

10. Evil Intent, Trials of Love, & Finding My Angel - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 36,729, 70,453, & 59,941 *rape, graphic torture, violence* (2009)

Anna rapes Castiel and uses a method that torments him more than anything imaginable. WARNING: Rape and Castiel/Dean makes sense when you read it . If you don't like then don't read!

11. Cascade - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 44,626 (2013)

"And if you fall as Lucifer fell, you fall in flames!" An 8x23 coda. 

12. Count The Cracks, Hear The Shatters, Feel The Insanities - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 44,626 *gen/pre-slash* (2013)

They've walked miles on gravel roads that led to hell and back but the journey never quite ends. This is the story of Castiel and the Winchesters after the angels fell from heaven. Post Season 8. 

13. Damn Straight & Wait Wait Wait - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: about 21,000 (2010)

Humorous Cas/Dean, with multiple POVs. Slight AU. Fluffy. Ch. 5: Sam sat in the Impala in the motel parking lot, praying that three and a half hours at the library had been long enough.

14. Entertaining Angels - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 43,659 *gen/pre-slash* (2008)

A strange boy shows up at Dean and Sam’s motel room. Maybe he needs help, or maybe he’s there to help them—they can’t quite tell. Spoilers through 4.10. Not an OC. 

15. Happy Friggin’ Valentine’s Day - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 22,771 (2010)

SLASH. It all started with Dean's perfectly healthy hatred of frivilous holidays and a much-coveted sack of dust. Poor Castiel doesn't fully understand 'romance' to begin with, and this crash course is most unwelcome. 

16. I’m Just a Love Machine - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 29,200 (2011)

The Impala finally gets the chance to love Dean back. The problem is, Castiel seems to be in its way. 

17. It’s The Great Destiel Shipper, Sam Winchester - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 49,641 (2012)

What's Sam really doing all that time on the computer? Fangirling. Over Chuck's Supernatural books. Now Wincest might be a bit too much to deal with, but Destiel he might be able to get on board with... Especially after being around the two people involved for three days straight. 

18. Pain in the Head - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 78,771 *character death* (2011)

It started out slow. "Since when do angels have headaches?" "Since they become human." Established Dean/Cas. Sort of AU. PG-13. Complete. 

19. Sleep in Heavenly Peace - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 45,517 *christmas fic* (2013)

Dean wants to have a nice, peaceful Christmas for once, but it seems like the universe won't let him. Dean/Castiel. Post-8.08 (Hunteri Heroici) AU. First in "Holidays With the Winchesters are Always Fun." 

20. The Shattered One - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 94,021 *grace mpreg* (2012)

When it struck Castiel, it dropped him out of the sky. He set down the first place he could find. He stood in a field in Switzerland, swaying on his feet and staring down at his body, dazed by what it had just done.

21. This Cupid Isn’t Stupid - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 41,572 (2012)

Dean receives a shock when he wakes up to discover Castiel has returned. Why is the angel suddenly back? Why have his powers dimmed? And.. Why are he and Dean joined together by an invisible rope!

22. Wild Horses, Cas - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 23,505 (2013)

(S8 Spoilers (story is set in S9), Sickfic! Destiel, Minor Sabriel). When Cas comes down with a bad case of Pneumonia it leaves Dean feeling more protective over his friend than ever, but will it also lead to Dean's admittance of his feelings towards his friend? 

23. Wrong - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 51,384 (2010)

Angels are not supposed to drop out of the sky into motel rooms, broken and beaten. They're not supposed to bleed like that. It was all wrong. 

24. The Reluctant Contestant - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 50,502 (2012)

AU When Gabriel is hired as a new host for a dating show, Cas has no choice but to follow his brother along as part of the camera crew. Forced at the last minute to be a contestant, he is shocked when Dean Winchester continually refuses to eliminate him. 

25. The Ugly Duckling - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 81,676 (2012)

Castiel: a nerdy, skinny thing with a crush on the the most popular guy in class. Being unpopular isn't easy and it's worse when the homophobic school figures him out. A small struggle to be noticed by his crush is turned into a huge struggle for himself and his dignity. But bullying can get the better of anyone. Slash. Destiel rated M for later chapters. 

26. Nameless - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 77,882 (2013)

AU. Everyone has the name of their soulmate written on their wrist at birth. Well, everyone except Dean Winchester. Complete. 

27. Cufflinks - RATING: M | LENGTH: 61,845 (2012)

The world is full of creatures that prey on humans. It is up to 'Hunters' to fight against the dark. Lucky Hunters rely on the help of angels they have bound to their service. Sam and Dean may be good Hunters, but they have yet to capture an angel. One day, Sam finds an angel and seizes the opportunity to bind the angel to himself. Little did they know what they were getting into. 

28. Angel Training - RATING: M | LENGTH: 95,700, Angel Training 2: Save Us - RATING: M | LENGTH: 76,888, & Angel Training 3: Uprising - RATING: M | LENGTH: 89,512 (2011)

In a world where angels are common and the most privileged or skilled people are able to own one; the world's angelic hierarchy is about to change when Dean Winchester receives a wild and recently caught angel.

29. Chasing Your Shadow - RATING: M | LENGTH: 92,077 (2012)

The prophecy says that when Castiel turns twenty-three winters old, a stranger will come into his life and bring a lot of suffering. But do prophecies always come true? Demon Dean/human Castiel AU 

30. The Holiday - RATING: M | LENGTH: 32,088 (2011)

Castiel and Sam are unlucky in both life and love, so they swap houses for the holidays. Both find the experience highly...interesting. Dean/Castiel Sam/Gabriel

31. And In Your Arms I Shall Find Shelter- RATING: M | LENGTH: 33,824 (2012)

Dean Winchester is a long forgotten painter who suddenly receives an order for a painting from a rich man - Crowley. He is about to start painting when Castiel - his personal reaper visits him. The main question is: Will Castiel give Dean enough time to finish the painting? 

32. Jar of Hearts - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 127,192 (2013)

February being the supposed 'month of love' people seem to forget that it's also one of the coldest times of the year. Valentine's Day themed events in a cafe turned bar is how Dean managed the courage to speak to the locally famous singer and somehow score a date, a relationship, and a man he didn't deserve out of the deal. Destiel college/uniAU some Sabriel 

[mayonnaisetoffees]

Mayo's Fic Recs

List of my favourite fics below the cut; this list is a WIP and completely personal taste; a mix of fandom classics and lesser knowns

Please remember to leave comments and kudos for the authors and podficcers!

*shows particular favourites

Fandoms currently included: Spn, Merlin, Les Mis, BatFam

Fics That Changed Me Fundamentally

Loaded March*** by Footloose. Merlin | E | 1.26M(Series)/ 35k (First part) | 188k hits (First part)

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can’t keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn’t good enough, either. Except he is.

You can read all about my thoughts on Loaded March here, here, and here. Basically this fic series is beautifully written, has absolutely delicious UST, has found family, magic, and high stakes. It’s been part of my life for almost a decade now, I made friends through LM that I still have to this day, and it genuinely changed me as a person. Plus there are 78k of Extras to itch that I Finished Now What scratch. Parts 1-5 have been podficced and you can find them in works inspired by this one in each part.

Down to Agincourt*** by Seperis. Supernatural | E | 1.12M(Series)/ 154k (First part) | 73k hits (First part)

The world’s already over and they’re already dead. All they’re doing now is marking time until the end.

S7!Dean is transported back to the aftermath of where 5x04 The End left off. Much like LM, DtA was one that I avoided for a while. I didn’t think it would be my thing. I’m not usually into End!verse, it sounded so bleak from the summary, and it sounded so long for something I wasn’t sure about. If you’re reading this and nodding along? You are as much a fool as I was. Yes, it’s the end of the world. But it’s not over yet. This is a beautiful journey in what it means to be yourself, how to survive the end of the world, a How-To for Coups, and a study in food as a love language. I only read this fic this year, but like LM, it has genuinely changed me. Map of the World has been podficced.

Supernatural

Let’s start with the current hyperfixation. All of these are at least passively Dean/Cas unless otherwise stated. I've split into ones from my first time around in the SPN fandom and more recent ones because the vibes are actually really different and it took me some time to adjust (Not in a bad way! In a time has passed they have grown as characters way)

Old-School SPN (AKA the Classics my first time around)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Home in Motion* by nomdeplume13 M | 232k | 48k hits

Castiel swore he was done with spur of the moment decisions that permanently changed Dean Winchester's life. A year after the angel's most disastrous, his newest may present the largest challenge of dean's life: Fatherhood.

Did someone say kid!fic in canonverse? This is perfect. Canon divergence from the end of S6. Cas saves a baby from a neglectful mother and gives him to Dean to raise. They all move in with Bobby. Great OCs. Bobby considers Cas his son. Listen everything I say here will not be able to begin to encompass how much I love this fic. Just trust me on this one.

Named* by RC_McLachlan M | 95k | 95k hits

Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

With a summary like that, need I say more? No but I'm gonna. This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read, but it doesn't take any emotion from the serious moments, if anything it heightens them. There are so many quotes from this I think about all the time. It was written in 2010 and so there's a bit of misogyny/character assassination of Anna in places.

Second Childhood by CloudyJenn (read by exmanhater) G | 16k (1h30) | 10k hits

"Dude, I can't do this whole thing by myself," Dean said with far more desperation leaking into his tone than he liked. It would just be too much to make it through hell and death and Lucifer only to have Castiel bail on him because of a frigging baby.

They beat the Apocalypse (OG-S5) and then Sam gets de-aged by a spell. I've listened to this so many times I know it by heart, it's an ultimate comfort fic to me.

Defy Any and All Expectation* by Tenoko1 (read by Tenoko1) M | 138k (14hrs) | 37k hits

Chuck's newly released books tell of another war between Heaven and Hell. Team Free Will sets out to try to defy prophecy, only to realize there is a lot more at stake and amiss than the not-quite-accurate words of one Prophet of the Lord. Along the way, Dean and Cas' relationship continues to evolve into something neither expected or were prepared for, all of their lives transforming in ways no one could have expected. But with no shortage of cases, monsters, and mayhem, it's going to require the help of new friends and old enemies if they're to have a hope of saving the world one more time. Alternate Season Six.

So this is a re-written version of Tenoko1's The Path We Choose which I don't think is around anymore. By the time I was reading the re-write as each chapter came out, I knew every single line of TPWC and it wasn't all that much shorter. It's such a perfect canon divergence because they are all 100% in-character. If you're into podfic, you already know what an absolute gift 14 hours is, but if you have never tried podfic before, Tenoko1 is a fantastic place to start. Her voice is soothing and energetic and her Cas sometimes comes to mind when I'm reading fic in Misha's place (sorry Misha)

His Fucking Kids 'Verse by 8sword M | 96k(Series)/ 3k (first part) | 26k hits (first part)

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

Emma survives and Dean and Cas are raising her and Claire. This fic series will make you laugh, make you cry, and (nowadays) make you wish Emma had survived to be a part of Wayward Sisters.

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict E | 22k | 37k hits

While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Dean breaks his legs, and honey!Cas brings home some kittens to foster. It's achingly sweet and also painful because you know Dean wants to fix Cas but there's nothing to fix. It is tagged for ableism for this.

Tripping* by Hatteress E | 49k | 78k hits

That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn't afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean's life.

Alt!S5 and it is beautiful. Also any fic with Missouri is an automatic win.

Broadway Musical by Grifitings M | 12k | 79k hits

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle. The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at. Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

Jimmy deserves a sainthood and frankly I don't even want to hear about crack if it's not on the level of the Host yelling at Cas not to touch the butt.

Classic AUs (AKA AUs from my first time around)

Try Something Tuesday by almaasi E | 48k | 144k hits

Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only...

This was one of the first spn fics to really really stay with me and it never really left.

Rock 'n' Roll Queer Bar by ChasingRabbits E | 127k(Series)/ 8k (Part1) | 29k hits (Part1)

Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without.

This series. If you've ever felt unsure or out of place or anxious or just really felt like no-one understood you, this fic is for you. I first found this series when I was coming to terms with my queerness and I genuinely think it was invaluable. Also I am a sucker for the go for a dinner at Cas's family and end up storming out trope.

Play It All Night Long by janie_tangerine (read by Tenoko1) NC17 | 43k (4hrs)

The rom-com-ish one where Dean hosts a late night radio show, Castiel is a regular listener of his who starts calling one day and ends up calling more often than not and Dean finds himself liking it. This, until one day Castiel calls for not exactly petty reasons (just before Dean's brother Sam is visiting with his girlfriend for spring break) and things get very, very crowdy at his place. He also doesn't know it's just the beginning of it. Also features Gabriel, Chuck, Andy, the Roadhouse crew and a huge amount of music quoted. Especially Bob Dylan.

Again, this podfic has got me through many a night of insomnia. Cas calls in after a particularly shitty day and it all goes from there.

New-School SPN (AKA post-2014)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara E | 57k | 28k hits

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says. Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away. Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

There is a reason you will see this recced time and time again. It healed parts of me I didn't know needed healing.

So Says the Sword* by komodobits E | 85k | 73k hits

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’ Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected

I saw ssts mentioned in like every single If you're getting back into the fandom READ THIS rec list. For good reason. It's described as "canon-adjacent in that seasons one to three happened exactly the same, but when Dean goes to Hell, he is not raised by Castiel". It's one of the most interesting concepts I've read and it's one of those fics where the writing style will stick with you. Castiel POV in a way you've never read before.

Aching in the Absence of You* by sobsicles E | 95k | 9k hits (in 5 days)

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back. He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales. "Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time. By nightfall, Cas is gone.

If you don't already know sobsicles, I am delighted to introduce you to the person who will smash you to pieces with a hammer to put you back together Kintsugi-style. This one is post-finale but without 15x18 (it'll make sense as it goes). Cas says he's going to leave again and again Dean doesn't ask him to stay. Full of lines so beautiful they'd make Shakespeare weep, Sobsicles has this way of writing that is so evocative and paints such a clear picture. Fair warning, if you're Dean-coded, this might be A Lot.

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)** by sobsicles E | 108k | 25k hits

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next. ~~~ Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want." "What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before." "Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out." "Easier said than done."

Yes, two sobsicles recs back to back. This one I read first and it still holds such a special place in my heart. A sign of a good fic is being able to picture it perfectly. The sign of an amazing fic is that when reading this I was so in Dean's shoes I could feel a pool cue between my hands and Baby behind my back. And I sobbed like a baby in this. It has probably my favourite ending ever. It's genuinely beautiful. If you don't read another on this list, read this one.

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara M | 52k | 14k hits

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean. (A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

The ultimate Cas character study and interwoven with poetry.

So There It Is, I've Said It All by PorcupineGirl (read by Ceewelsh) G | 4k | 13k hits

"Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don't think I'll like?" I think I'm in love with you. "Yeah. I guess so."

Dean figures out he's in love with Cas then can't stop thinking it. This is genuinely beautiful and if you've ever had trouble actually saying the thing you're thinking, you'll relate to Dean here. I recently did the podfic for this.

you won't find this place alone by amidsizedfrog G | 9.5k |

When Claire said she was dropping out of college to pursue hunting full time, Dean said, “right,” and left the room. Or, the cross-generation conversation about formal education, choosing your own path and figuring out what it looks like to find a family. Or, in other words: "But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell-attitude, and I'll figure it out." - Dean Winchester

This is a beautiful look at education in the hunter world, and I love anything that looks at Dean and Bobby's relationship and this does it perfectly. Also best cameo ever.

Seek to Know You Better by ahurston E | 33k | 23k hits

Dean and Cas, a long stretch of highway, and 36 questions empirically designed to make two people fall in love. As if they weren't already.

This is perfect. It has a lovely slow pace like it has the vibes of an indie film if that makes sense? Like it's two guys going from place to place talking. It was an instant favourite.

Newer AUs (AKA more recent AUs)

And This, Your Living Kiss* by opal_bullets M | 57k | 69k hits

Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.

When I asked which fics were absolute must-reads for someone who'd been out of the fandom a few years, this was said repeatedly. But what really got me to read it was everyone actually told me more about what it meant to them than just the summary. It's a study in poetry, a study in learning who you are and who you used to be, and a reminder that it's never too late.

The Graveyard Shift* by riseofthefallenone, PurgatoryJar E | 620k | 175k hits

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

A fantastic magical realism fic - magical creatures live and work with humans. Gabe and Cas run a coffee shop, Dean is a fireman, and the burn is slow and delicious and the intrigue kept me reading for like a week every single spare minute.

Painted Angels by WinJennster E | 106k | 162k hits

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

The first part of this I actually saved back when I was first in the fandom but I never got around to reading it (I had a To Read folder of 100+ fics that I absolutely dove into when I got back into spn) and the rest of the series finished in 2016 so I'm counting it in this section not the other. On the one hand, I wish I'd read this when it first came out. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, and so visual. On the other hand, I think I appreciated it a lot more now than I would have seven years ago. The parallel of me coming back to the old fandom that I loved dearly with Cas coming back to see someone and places he loved so much really hit. (Although coming back to the spn fandom was much easier and much less heartbreak!)

Finale Fix-Its (yeah fuck you Dabb that this has to be a whole category)

The Goldenrod Revisions by aethylas M | 66k | 15k hits

A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.

Script format re-write of 15x19 and 15x20 into a 5-episode finale fix-it. As far as I'm concerned, this and chocolatecakecas's American Pie fanvid are the Supernatural finale.

break the skin (to break the barriers)* by sobsicles M | 30k | 9k hits

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment. ~~~ Dean is silent for a long, tense moment, then he gruffly says, "It's not for banishing the angels. It's to summon them. So, it doesn't—it's not to get rid of 'em, but to draw 'em in." Mitzi can't help but glance up at him at that. His voice is so heavy with so much unexplained pain, and she doesn't understand why, or what angels have to do with it. She knows religion can impact people. She's very aware that it can get complicated, and that it can be a huge source of pain for someone, but Dean sounds grievously wronged, somehow, as if it's a truly personal thing. She pushes through, focusing back on her job, clearing her throat before murmuring, "Well, I guess we all want angels to visit us sometimes." "Just the one," Dean mumbles. "Your guardian angel?" Mitzi asks. Dean breathes out, "Something like that. As close to one as an angel will ever get."

Therapy through getting tattoos and telling your life story to someone who obviously doesn't think it's real. Outsider!POV not just done well, but done literally the best.

Kingdom Come by ahurston E | 17k | 10k hits

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

I don't know if this counts as finale fix-it as it's more fuck the finale we're ignoring that. There's just so much love and care in this fic.

The Family Business by chai_lattes M | 16k | 5.5k hits

It's all over. It's been weeks since Chuck's defeat and Cas' return from the Empty. There are no threats on the horizon, no apocalypses to stop, but there's something that keeps the Winchesters from being happy. Something that's maybe always been there. On their way back from a hunt, they find John Winchester, back from the dead.

If you're anything like me, you start rubbing your grubby little hands together at the tag John Winchester's A+ Parenting like yes let's address this! This is one of the best examples of John coming back and how it jars with the life that they have built. Also Claire and Jack getting to share screentime!

Merlin

If I have a forever fandom, it's Merlin. I've always kept one foot in this fandom, and it introduced me to fandom, and most importantly to podfic which kinda had an impact. All Merthur unless stated.

Canon-Verse

Seven Magpies by syllic (read by lunchee) E | 33k (3hr15) | 58k hits

Arthur opened his eyes a minute later to the sight of seven magpies streaking across the top of the clearing, their shapes dark against the white clouds and the muted grey of the sky. He tried to remember what it was that seven magpies meant—he'd had a nurse who had sung the rhyme to him as a child—but couldn't. Arthur wakes up somewhere he doesn't recognise, but where he clearly belongs.

Okay so this is an AU but it's Canon-AU so it's going here. Fantastic role reversal fic that you will be thinking about for weeks.

and from your grace, i fell by TheDragon (read by Ceewelsh) T | 4.6k (41mins) | 13k hits

“Where’s Merlin?” he asks the maid. “Where’s that idiot of a Court Sorcerer?!” “Begging your pardon, Your Majesty. I thought you knew,” the maid replies, not daring to look him in the eyes. “He’s taken ill.” “And he couldn’t be bothered to tell me himself that he would be unable to attend today’s council meeting?” Arthur questions, voice full of acid. “He hasn’t woken since he collapsed two days ago, Sire,” the maidservant says, blissfully unaware that what she’s saying the power to stop Arthur’s heart in its tracks.

When I first read this, it had me completely transfixed. I could not stop reading. It was so raw and so full of emotion. I was then lucky enough to get TheDragon in our exchange, so I did a podfic for it and it's probably the most proud I've been of one.

Modern AU

The Student Prince* by FayJay (read by FayJay) M | 145k (15hrs) | 696k hits

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

A classic is a classic for a reason. I'm also pretty sure this introduced me to podfics so like special place in my heart x2. Did you know if you filter AO3 by hits on Merlin, this has 426k more hits than the second result? Now that is a Fandom Classic.

Drastically Redefining Protocol* by rageprufrock (read by lunchee) E | 46k (5hr30) | 269k hits

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

As I always say, if this can happen to me and I still love the fic, nothing is going to change that. Arthur hides from his duties in a cupboard and gets stuck in there with a chainsmoking med student.

Fundamental Imperfections by Starlingthefool (read by bravenclawsome) M | 12k (1hr35) | 123k hits

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing. (Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

This fic has everything: Charles Dickens, long distance texting, Morgana choking a Sherlock cosplayer with his own scarf. This is the ultimate comfort fic and I compare all fics to this even when they're incomparable. I never read the sequel because it was WIP and I was waiting for it to complete, it hasn't been updated since 2015 and apparently ends on an unhappy note, so if you're going to read the sequel you have been warned.

Les Mis

Modern!AU

Overzealous Oddities by YassHomo e/R, Courf/Cosette/Marius, Comb/Ép | G | 6.4k | 4k hits

Courfeyrac: Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it? Enjolras: No. Courfeyrac: Let me rephrase Courfeyrac: I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.

I love me a text fic and this is in my opinion the best one around. Just look at that summary. I have quoted that so many times.

But Paris was a very old city and we were young* by GingerNinjaAbi E/R, Courf/Jehan | M | 99k | 42k hits

Perhaps somewhere in between all the cups of coffee, shots of tequila, sunny March days, terrible lumpy jumpers, love, cigarettes, drunken nights and the desire to change the world they'll all leave Paris with a degree in something. Or not. Grantaire's money is on no. But he's a pessimist who's hopelessly in love, so perhaps his opinion shouldn't count.

The ULTIMATE modern!AU tbh.

Tagged by Salomonderiel E/R, Courf/Jehan | E | 155k | 28k hits

So there's this artist. He could probably be compared to Banksy, but he's a lot more... cynical. He shares rooms with a poet who braids his hair with flowers, in a flat near Covent Garden they rent from a short-tempered shop keeper with a penchant for fans and who'd do anything if you mentioned Poland. Sometimes, the three of them will go and deface public buildings in London whilst completely smashed off their heads. And then there's this, shall we say, 'revolutionary'. He has a band of other revolutionaries, who all meet at this cafe by Borough Market. He shares rooms with his best mate, a philosophy student, spends too much time with a flirty guy who has a thing for poets, goes boxing with a guy in a red vest, wants to punch the wet sop who drools on the blonde waitress and is getting tired of this guy who keep breaking his laptops through sheer dumb luck. Thank god the hypochondriac's there to keep an (slightly too) attentive eye on their stress levels. The revolutionary thinks the graffiti artist's work is a waste of space. The artist thinks the revolutionary's campaigns are a waste of time. And all the while, the poet and the flirt drool over each other in the background...

This is perfect and it's funny and it's beautiful and it rips my heart out multiple times.

Canon

To Be Free by kjack89 (read by Ceewelsh) Gen, Cosette/Marius | T | 3.8k (32mins) | 375 hits

Three blows from a bayonet had transfixed Combeferre’s breast, followed by a fall from the barricade as he rapidly lost first blood and then consciousness. But neither of these, it seemed, was enough to kill him, as much as later he might perhaps wish that they were.

I read this because it was on a list kjack89 did of their favourite fics which don't necessarily have the same hits traffic. It's nothing I would have usually read (canon era, not e/R, MCD) but I am so glad I gave it a go. It's a study on what if Combeferre had survived the barricades too and the guilt. This stayed with me for days afterwards until I eventually messaged kjack89 to get permission to podfic it.

BatFam

Canonish (I don't know differences between canons but these are all they're superheros fics)

Robins United by laceymcbain (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | T | 49k (6h15)/ 19k (2h25) (First part) | 103k hits

Bullets, knives, a three story fall, even a fucking crowbar hadn't managed to keep Jason down permanently, but Dick Grayson (and the rest of his "family") was going to kill him with kindness.

The ultimate batbros series. Also if you haven't heard reena_jenkins' podfics before, you are welcome. Pre-pandemic I took a lot of public transport and reena_jenkins kept me sane.

batcoons by drakefeathers (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | G | 6k (49mins) | 14k hits

Jason and raccoons have a lot in common. (Additionally: his so-called family are much bigger pests than the stray animals hanging around his safehouse.)

This is funny, it's heartwarming, and it's a really good character study.

AU

Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks Clark/Bruce | T | 19k | 20k hits

Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing. Then they meet.

Bruce Wayne is a Tired Single Dad™. It's genuinely such a sweet fic.

[auror-lovie]

I Loved You, Mr. Scamander; Ending 1

━━━•✦.✧. Author’s Note.✧.✦•━

Ending No. 1

Author’s Intended Ending

Taglist for this series is still OPEN!

━━━━━•✦.✧. Summary .✧.✦•━

With the right words, the right timing, and the right emotions, one could get even the most strong-minded person to follow them.

━━━━━•✦.✧. Add-Ons .✧.✦•━

Emotional Manipulation

Angst

A lot of hurt

━━━━━━•✦.✧.☾.✧.✦•━━━━━

A lot happened in New York that Newt didn’t disclose in his letters. (Y/N)’s main concern being the Auror from America, Tina Goldstein. It seemed to be all Newt talked about when they got to Paris.

“Tina was right here!” Newt exclaimed. “Jacob, she was here. Tina stood here. She has incredibly narrow feet, have you noticed?”

(Y/N) had seen that look before. It was the exact way he looked when he was with Leta. He was in love.

Newt, Tina, and (Y/N) stood in a nearby alleyway, looking out over the square where tree roots rose to form the birdcage elevator to the French Ministry.

“The box is in the ancestral records room. So, three floors down.” Newt informed. He rummaged in his pockets and pulled out a tiny bottle with only a couple of drops left inside.

“Is that Polyjuice?” Tina asked.

“Just enough to get me inside.” He looked down at his coat and found one of Theseus’s hairs on his shoulder.

(Y/N) gasped. “Newt! I hope you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.”

He added the hair to the mixture, drank the potion, and turned into Theseus, still wearing Newt’s clothes.

She sighed. “Oh no… We’re going to get in so much trouble…”

“Who-?” Tina asked, puzzled who this mystery person was.

“My brother, Theseus,” Newt replied, adjusting his clothes. “He’s an Auror.”

“He’s my boss…” (Y/N) admitted.

“And a hugger.” He added.

~*~*~

Theseus exited a meeting room, Victoria following close behind. They made their way towards Leta, who was waiting for them.

“What’s happening?” Leta asked, concern written all over her face.

“Grindelwald’s rallying. We don’t know where, but we think it’s tonight.” He explained.

Leta and Theseus kissed for a moment. ‘Please be safe.’ Leta thought.

They pulled away and Leta looked at Theseus and Victoria. “Be careful. Both of you.”

“Of course,” Victoria assured her.

“Listen, I want you to hear this from me. They think that Credence boy might be your missing brother.” Theseus whispered to Leta.

Leta looked at him in disbelief. “My brother is dead. He died. How many times, Theseus?”

“I know, I know. And the records, the records will prove that, okay? They can’t lie.” He continued.

“Theseus. Victoria.” Travers said sharply.

They shared a look before leaving Leta and joined Travers. “I want every person at that rally arrested. If they resist-”

“Sir, forgive me… but if we go in too heavy, don’t we run the risk of adding to the-” Victoria started.

“Just do it. I’ve had enough of you and Miss (L/N)’s insubordination.” Travers looked at Theseus. “Keep your Communications Liaison in check.”

Victoria was about to go after him before Theseus held onto her upper arm. “I’m more than just a Communications Liaison…”

Theseus released his grip and put his hand on her shoulder. “That you are. You are much more capable than him. More… Level headed…”

She sighed. “Sometimes I just want to- Oh no.”

“What is it?”

Victoria looked at her bracelet. She could feel the warm sensation emitting from the charm on her wrist. (Y/N) was here. And if (Y/N) was here, so was Newt. She walked to the railing, overlooking the floor below.

Theseus followed and caught sight of Newt- as Theseus- with Tina and (Y/N) walking, heads down, through the Ministry typing pool.

The brothers’ eyes meet. (Y/N)’s eyes meeting with Victoria’s. Newt grabbed Tina’s arm and made a sharp turn down a corridor, (Y/N) following close behind.

Theseus and Victoria set off in pursuit, leaving Leta and a furious Travers behind. Leta backed away from the throng and slipped through a side door.

The trio continued to run along a corridor lined with pictures, the Polyjuice Potion already wearing off. “I don’t suppose you can Disapparate on Ministry premises in France, can you?” Newt asked.

“No.” (Y/N) replied.

“Pity,” Newt said nonchalantly. Now the potion had worn off completely.

“Newt!” Tina exclaimed.

“Yes, I know. I know there’s-”

Every portrait along the corridor turned into a portrait of Newt. An alarm sounds:

Urgence! Urgence! Un sorcier suivi, Newt Scamander, est entré dans le Ministère! Emergency! Emergency! A tracked wizard, Newt Scamander, has entered the Department of Magic!

Theseus and Victoria finally get to the same corridor. “Newt!” Theseus called out.

“That’s your brother?” Tina managed to ask between breaths.

“(Y/N)!” Victoria called.

“And who is that?” Tina asked, looking at (Y/N).

“My best friend.” (Y/N) answered.

“As for my brother, I think I may have mentioned in my letters we have quite a complicated relationship.” Newt continued.

‘Wait, he sent letters to her too?’ (Y/N) thought, but quickly dismissed it before she could ponder on it longer.

“Newt! Stop!” Theseus’s voice echoed through the corridor.

Newt, Tina, and (Y/N) sprinted through a second door, which led into a mailroom. Two elderly porters were pushing mailcarts across the circular room.

“Does he want to kill you?” Tina asked, a bit concerned.

“Frequently.”

“Newt!” (Y/N) scolded. “He does not want to kill you!”

As they sprinted past the mailcarts, Theseus sent a curse after them, sending the mailcart boxes flying. Tina blocked the spell. “He needs to control his temper!”

(Y/N) pointed her wand. ‘I’m sorry, Thes…’ Theseus was then slammed down into a high chair that (Y/N) has conjured out of nowhere. Hands bound, Theseus flew backward on the chair into a meeting room, where he slammed into a wall.

Newt awed. “I think that might have been the best moment of my life.” Tina laughed but was on guard when she saw Victoria.

Victoria nodded at (Y/N). “Go!”

(Y/N) looked at Victoria before running off with Newt and Tina.

~*~*~

Newt, Tina, and (Y/N) turned a corner into a beautiful area in front of towering Art Nouveau doors carved to resemble trees. A very old woman sat behind a desk bar.

“Puis-je vous aider?” Can I help you? The old woman asked.

“Er-yes, this is Leta Lestrange. And I’m her-” Newt said nervously.

“Fiancé,” Tina said quickly.

‘Wait… Was she misinformed?’ (Y/N) thought with a confused look on her face.

An increased awkwardness between them as the old woman lifted an ancient book onto the desk and opened it. Her finger ran down the list of surnames beginning with L. “Allez-y.”

“Merci,” Tina whispered.

Newt grabbed Tina’s hand and pulled her toward the doors into the records room. (Y/N) once again following close behind. The old woman eyed them suspiciously.

“Tina, about that fiancée business-” He started.

“Sorry, yeah. I should have congratulated you.” Tina replied, sadness in her voice.

The doors to the records office opened. They enter briskly. The doors close behind them, plunging them into darkness.

“Lumos.” (Y/N) said softly, yet firmly.

An extraordinary acre of shelves stretched away from them, all carved to look like trees so that they seemed to be on the edge of the forest. Pickett poked his head out of Newt’s pocket and squealed in excitement.

“Lestrange,” said Tina. Nothing happened.

“I think you need to be a Lestrange to-” (Y/N) started before realizing that Newt and Tina were not there anymore.

Tina set off, Newt right behind her. They weaved in and out of the carved shelves. Some of which housed rolls of parchment, the occasional prophecy, other mysterious trunks, and boxes.

“Tina, about Leta-” Newt started.

“Yes, I’ve just said, I am happy for you.”

“Yeah, well, don’t.”

She stopped in her tracks and looked at him. “What?”

“Please don’t be happy.” That sounded better in his head. “Uh, no, no. I’m sorry. I don’t… Uh, obviously, I- Obviously I want you to be. And I hear that you are now. Uh, which is wonderful. Sorry-” His shoulders sagged as a gesture of hopelessness. “What I’m trying to say is, I want you to be happy, but don’t be happy that I’m happy because I’m not.”

Tina looked at him, confused.

“Happy.” Newt paused. She still had a puzzled look on her face. “Or engaged.”

“What?” Tina asked.

“It was a mistake in a stupid magazine. My brother’s marrying Leta, June the sixth. I’m supposed to be the best man. Which is sort of mildly hilarious.” He chuckled nervously.

“Does he think you’re here to win her back?” She asked, a feeling of defeat in her voice. “Are you here to win her back?”

“No! I’m here to…” He stared at her. “-You know, your eyes really are-”

“Are what?”

“I’m not supposed to say.” He trailed off. Pickett climbed out of Newt’s pocket onto the nearest shelf and didn't notice.

“Newt, I read your book, and did you-?” Tina rushed.

“I still have a picture of you. Wait, did you read-?” Newt asked as he pulled the picture of her from his breast pocket and unfolded it. Tina was inordinately touched.

He looked from the picture to Tina. “I got this-I mean, it’s just a picture of you from the paper, but it’s interesting because your eyes in newsprint. See, in reality, they have this effect in them, Tina… It’s like fire in water, in dark water. I’ve only ever seen that-” He paused, struggling to say what he wanted to say. “I’ve only ever seen that in—”

“Salamanders?” Tina whispered, a smile on her face.

All (Y/N) could do was just stand there and watch. Of course. Just from being around her, (Y/N) could see how Newt could fall in love with her. If Newt was happy, so was she. “H-Hey guys! I’ve been looking for you guys everywhere.” She stuttered. It sounded more confident in her head.

A loud bang erupted as the doors to the records room flew open. They jump apart. Two pairs of footsteps made their way into the records room.

Leta walked inside, Victoria at her side, desperate. This was Leta’s last chance to hide evidence about Corvus’s death. The doors closed behind them. She raised her wand. “Lestrange.” The shelves began to move.

The giant trees shifted all around them. They were almost crushed as the Lestrange “tree” flew towards them. They hop onto a shelf.

The towering stack stopped, swaying, in front of her. She stared as an empty shelf confronted her. A mark in the dust where a box sat, a slip of parchment in its place. She picked up the slip and read it aloud. “Records moved to Lestrange family tomb at Père Lachaise.”

Leta spotted Pickett hiding among the deed boxes on the shelf and smiled

“Circumrota.” Victoria said. The record tower turned, revealing Newt, Tina, and (Y/N) clinging to the shelves.

“Hello, Newt.” Leta smiled. "(Y/N)."

“Hello, Leta.” They replied.

“Hi,” Tina said awkwardly, yet kindly.

Victoria looked at (Y/N) who was clinging onto the side panel of the “tree” then looked at Newt and Tina. Oh.

•✦.✧.🔎.✧.✦•

The figures of fifty aurors appeared in silhouette among the mausoleums. “It isn’t illegal to listen to him! Use minimum of force on the crowd. We mustn’t be what he says we are!” Theseus advised. Though the emotions of nervousness, even fear, and on a few, a clear will to fight, to avenge were evident of their faces.

~*~*~

“The moment has come to share my vision of the future that awaits if we do not rise up and take our rightful place in the world.” Grindelwald started.

Rosier appeared onstage. Bowing, she presented the skull-hookah to Grindelwald. Total silence fell through the auditorium.

Grindelwald was illuminated by the skull’s golden light. He inhaled deeply through the tube. His eyes rolled up into his head. He exhales and a gigantic cloak spread from his lips across the high stone ceiling, bearing moving images.

The crowd gasped. Images of thousands of marching, booted feet, explosions, men running with guns. The vision of a nuclear blast rocks the amphitheater. The crowd felt terrified. There were screams, until the vision subsided, leaving murmurs of panic.

“Not another war,” Jacob whispered.

The vision faded and all eyes return to Grindelwald. “That is what we are fighting! That is the enemy! Their arrogance, their power lust, their barbarity. How long will it take before they turn their weapons on us?”

Aurors entered the auditorium unnoticed, fanning out among the crowd. Victoria and (Y/N) being in that crowd of Aurors. They stood next to each other, holding hands.

The crowd settled down, agitated- expectant. They were waiting for a new, extraordinary revelation.

“Do nothing when I speak of this. You must remain calm and contain your emotions.” He paused. “There are Aurors here among us.”

The Aurors looked around in panic. They were wildly outnumbered. The crowd turned hostile. “Come closer, brother wizards! Join us.” Grindelwald announced to the Aurors.

“Do nothing. No force.” Theseus instructed.

One of the young Aurors has made eye contact with a young witch. She was angry, fingering her wand.

“They have killed many of my followers, it is true. They caught and tortured me in New York. They had struck down their fellow witches and wizards for the simple crime of seeking truth, for wanting freedom.” Grindelwald watched as he deliberately played on an unstable young witch’s feelings.

The young Auror raised his wand a few inches.

“Your anger. Your desire for revenge is natural.” Grindelwald continued.

She raised her wand, but the young Auror curses first. To the horror of her companions, she fell, dead.

“Disapparate. Leave. Go forth from this place and spread the word: It is not we who are violent.” People nearby took the body and Disapparate, as did most of the crowd.

Theseus and the other Aurors watched the purebloods leave. Victoria squeezed (Y/N)’s hand before letting go.

“Let’s take him.”

They started to descend the amphitheater steps. Grindelwald turned his back on the advancing Aurors, relishing the fight to come. “Protego diabolica.”

He spun and drew a protective circle of black fire around himself. The exits closed shut. Some of his followers walked through the flames into the circle. “Aurors, join me in this circle, pledge to me your eternal allegiance, or die. Only here shall you know freedom, only here shall you know yourself.” Grindelwald sent a wall of flames into the air, pursuing fleeing Aurors.

In the attempts to defend herself from the flames, Victoria ended up falling with her arm stretched out. This caused her arm to sprain. She continued, but her movements were slightly delayed due to the pain.

“Victoria, you need to get out of here,” Theseus instructed.

She winced in pain, holding her left arm in pain. “N-No. (Y/N)’s here. I can still fight.”

“Stop doing that. Stop trying to save everyone. Stop trying to put everyone’s health and safety over yours! In another time and another place, I would praise you for this. Though right now, we’re in the middle of a battle. Get out of here.”

“But sir-”

“That’s an order, Victoria.”

“Then you promise me one thing, Mr. Scamander.” Victoria pulled on one side of his collar to her level and looked him dead in the eyes. “You make sure she gets out of here.”

He gulped. Theseus never saw her like this- even on missions. “I will. Victoria, I promise.”

~*~*~

(Y/N) made her way to the bottom of the amphitheater, close to the ring of fire. “Gellert Grindelwald!” She yelled, her wand pointed at him.

“Ah. Miss (Y/N) (L/N). A pleasure to meet you. The Ministry’s “secret weapon”. Wait- don’t you come in a pair?” Grindelwald said, sinisterly.

(Y/N) blinked. She was not phased by his words. Three years of Auror training and years of work in the field prepared her for this type of situation. Flattery would not get him anywhere.

‘Her mind is sharp and strong, but what about her heart?’ Grindelwald thought before choosing his next words. “Alright. Let’s not talk about our professions…” He paused. “My dear, did you ever think that the Scamander brothers would miss you? They couldn’t even love you.” Grindelwald taunted.

She gulped, the grip on her wand loosened. “That’s not true! They… They did love me..” (Y/N) exclaimed, her voice faltering towards the end.

‘There we go.’ Grindelwald walked closer to the woman. “Did they really?”

Her heart raced. Her breathing became uneven. Yet it felt like she couldn’t breathe at all. Her hands started to shake. She looked at her wand, then at the Scamander brothers (who were waiting and analyzing the scene), then back at Grindelwald. “Y-Yes they did.” (Y/N) stuttered.

Finally standing within arms reach of her, he slowly moved her hand that held her wand away- and she let him do that. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Yes, but not in the way you wanted, did they?”

(Y/N) thought for a moment. She knew it was wrong, but Grindelwald’s words were so… tempting. His entire speech- he did have a point. And that’s when her walls- the walls that protected her and her feelings- crumbled. “No… They didn’t… I just… If I was just…”

The Scamander brothers had seen enough. It was not going the way they thought. “(Y/N), don’t!” Newt and Theseus yelled, making their way towards her.

Grindelwald sent up flames in their path, stopping them from continuing down the walkway. “Mr. Scamander, you and your brother are being quite rude. I’m trying to have a conversation with your lovely friend here!”

(Y/N) took a hesitant step towards Grindelwald. “I-If I join you… will the pain go away?”

He smirked, confident that he managed to gain another follower. “You’ll have that and so much more.”

She was about to take another step-

“(Y/N) please! Don’t leave us… Don’t leave me.” Newt pleaded, finally reaching the bottom of the walkway. Theseus, Leta, and Tina followed, stopping where he stood.

(Y/N) turned and looked at them. ‘Theseus. Leta. Newt. Tina.’ She gasped as the reality caught up to her. She would never be like Leta. She would never be like Tina. No matter how hard she tried, she would never be enough. The loves of her life, physically so close yet emotionally out of arm's reach.

Grindelwald walked around her then stood behind the heart-broken woman. “Look at them. Mocking you. Having no respect for your feelings. Can’t they see that they’re hurting you? The man you loved during your school years, just for him to fancy another. And even now, another woman has captured his heart. Then the brother! Oh, how smitten you were… Just for him to propose to the very woman that was the cause of your heartbreak the first time!”

“Grindelwald, enough!” Theseus yelled, pain evident in his voice.

“Please (Y/N), we can fix this!” Tina screamed.

Grindelwald patted her shoulders, “Think about all the times they hurt you…” He said before walking backing into the center of the ring of fire.

The shift in their friendship when Newt would give Leta his sweaters. All the times he would miss meetups because he was busy hanging out with Leta. The moment Newt started paying more attention to Tina. Hell, he’d talk about her all the damn time. All the times Theseus compared her to Leta. And the audacity of him to ask for advice on what gifts to get her. Were the years they were together mean nothing to him?

At the end of her montage, (Y/N) hadn’t even noticed the tears running down her cheeks. Grindelwald was right. With them, she faked happiness. Siding with Grindelwald would give her a chance at a new start.

“(Y/N), he’s manipulating you! ” Leta shouted.

“We didn’t mean to hurt you…” Newt trailed off.

“(Y/N), I would rather have you ignore me for the rest of your life than have you side with him! Stay with us!” Theseus admitted.

(Y/N) shut her eyes tightly, covering her ears in an attempt to block out their lies. Their sad attempts to make her stay. Their attempts of emotional torture. Tears ran down her cheeks- ugly sobs escaping her lips. All she wanted was for them to leave her alone. All she wanted was to run away.

“Newt loves you, (Y/N),” Tina let out, hoping that this last resort would work.

She heard that.

(Y/N) sniffled, uncovering her ears and wiping the tears from her eyes. “Not like he loves you, Tina… Remember? T-The salamanders…” She took a step backward, taking one last look at the people she held dear to her heart. “Leta, Tina… I’m not angry at either of you. Jealous, but not angry.”

She then looked down, the wand in her hand was suddenly captivating. “Theseus… Newton…” She trailed off before mustering up the courage to look at the men she loved.

Newt let out a whine. “What… What about Victoria?”

(Y/N) gasped softly. Victoria- her best friend. She shook her head before she could think about it any longer. ‘She wouldn’t miss me either… I was just a burden to her all these years.’

“Goodbye.” (Y/N) said quickly before running into the circle of flames.

“(Y/N)!” The four of them screamed.

“Tell Victoria I’m sorry…” She whispered as she Disapparated.

~*~*~

Grindelwald and his followers escaped, the flames extinguished, and Newt had chosen his side. The world was safe… for now.

Victoria, her left arm wrapped in a makeshift sling, made her way over to the four of them. She counted heads. Only four…? She looked at her charm bracelet. It had never felt that cold- even during the winter months. Why was the charm so cold?

“Where’s (Y/N)?” She asked, looking around in case she was in another area.

The four stayed silent. None of them wanted to break the news to her.

“W-Well?” Victoria stuttered.

Leta stepped towards her. “First, you have to know that none of us were the cause of whatever we’re going to say next.”

She gasped, “I-Is she…?”

“No! She’s not dead… She…” Tina trailed off.

“She what?” She asked, waiting for an answer. “Leta?” Victoria asked, only for Leta to look the other way. Tina had turned her attention elsewhere before Victoria could even ask her.

Victoria then looked at the Scamander brothers who were looking at each other. They were displaying miniature hand motions as if telling the other to say something. “Theseus and Newton Scamander… Either one of you better have a good explanation of why my best friend isn’t with you.”

“We tried to stop her, but…” Newt started while fiddling his thumbs, not being able to look at Victoria.

“But she was manipulated into joining Grindelwald.” Theseus continued.

Victoria gasped. The first thing she felt was pain, then it was quickly replaced with anger. Usually, (Y/N) would be there to stop her, but (Y/N) wasn’t there now was she? Victoria made her way to the brothers. She raised her hand, ready to slap Theseus’ face, but stopped just as her hand neared his cheek.

Theseus flinched, preparing himself for an impact that never came. When he heard soft sobs, he quickly opened his eyes to see Victoria crying.

That night, Victoria had lost her best friend to a monster. She dropped her arm and brought her hand close to her chest, the sobs getting more intense.

Leta and Tina made their way over to embrace her, whispering empty words such as “We’ll get her back” or “It’s okay. (Y/N)’s strong and smart. She’ll find her way out”.

Victoria sniffled. Her hair was a mess and her face covered with soot and mud. One of her arms hurt like hell, but none of those pains would ever amount to the loss of (Y/N). She finally looked up, her puffy eyes meeting the brothers’.

“I trusted you.” Victoria croaked. She brought herself to look at Newt. “She loved you… You know? Do you know how many times she’s cried on my bed in my room while we were at Hogwarts?”

She then looked at Theseus, “And you! You were her first boyfriend and I know that doesn’t entitle you to marry her or whatever, but for Merlin’s sake. Do you know how many times she’s come back to our flat at ungodly hours of the night, piss drunk trying to get over you?” Victoria ranted, getting out of Leta and Tina’s embrace. Years of emotional baggage finally fell off her shoulders.

Tina opened her mouth to say something, but Leta shook her head. Tina nodded and just let the scene play out.

“Victoria, we didn’t mean to-” Theseus started before Victoria interrupted.

“To hell with you, Theseus! You promised me that she’d get out of there! And you broke that promise…”

Theseus took a step forward with his arms open, going in for a hug.

“Please don’t. I need time and space away from all of you…” Victoria quickly stepped away from the four of them.

“This is the last time I’ll trust her heart- No, her life in the hands of a Scamander.” She said coldly before Disapparating.

[roxasboxas]

If you mind me asking, what would your KHocs think of Mine?

Taiyo

Kumo

Tsuki

hmm... let's see... (below a cut because this got long)

Taiyo

In compliance with my OCs original AU timelines

The B&B crew (Sean, Igni, Astrid, and a reincarnated Brain) would probably encounter her in the final stages of their plan to royally screw up the predictions written in the Book of Prophecies, during the early stages of her search for a cure. They would have no reason to be hostile towards each other, and in fact the crew would probably be worried about her travelling by herself at her age, remembering their own early adventures, and they would probably get along with her well enough. I don't think they'd abandon their mission to help her, or her for them, but they'd probably find a way to keep in contact with each other somehow, especially if Kumo had told them about his goal to find her (in which case they would relay the information they had on that to her as well). After thoroughly derailing the timeline, the crew would probably meet back up with her, and I think Igni would probably join her on her mission (likely being able to get along with her the best) while the rest stayed behind and made sure they'd have somewhere to rest when they needed it.

Lily (and Roxas and Riku) in contrast would probably join her right away, her purposeful search for something being preferable to their blind flight in avoidance of the Organization. I think they'd get along well, although I think they'd probably separate once Lily and her companions decided for certain on the more concrete goal of properly dealing with the Organization and reviving Xion. Once both parties achieve their goals, they probably remain friends and spend more time together, enjoying the lower stakes of it all.

In compliance with the actually canon Kingdom Hearts timeline

If the B&B crew (likely minus Brain) ultimately fails to change the timeline, it would probably result in some or all of them being banished to the sleeping worlds. Were they to encounter Taiyo there, they would certainly join her in her quest, hoping both to cure her and to return to the Realm of Light. Again, I think her and Igni would probably get along the best, while Astrid would likely take at least some responsibility for the group's well being, and Sean would get along with Taiyo well enough but for whatever reason I think he'd be closer to one of her other companions. There's also a good chance they might end up teaming with Kumo in this case, and as such are looking for her alongside him instead.

Without the events of the timeline she forced me to allow her a focal point in by surprise, Lily probably wouldn't become a Greater Nobody and probably wouldn't encounter Taiyo, at least not on friendly terms. She wouldn't want to fight her, but if the Organization took offense somehow or Taiyo took poorly to encountering dusks, Lily would ultimately die in the confrontation.

Kumo

In compliance with my OCs original AU timelines

The B&B crew would probably have known Kumo during their overlapping times in the Radiant Garden! Astrid would likely know him best, as she took magic lessons from his guardian, but they'd all be aware of him. Considering how shy he is, as well as the age difference between them, he might not have necessarily been friends with any of them, but they would have at least been friendly. He would probably be one of the people Astrid most regretted leaving behind, with how regularly they saw each other, and despite the injury to her heart that ultimately led to the group leaving the Garden making it difficult for her to properly feel her emotions at times, she would have been fully delighted to see him again if they encountered each other while bouncing around the worlds.

If Lily & co encountered Kumo before encountering Taiyo, they probably would have travelled with him instead. He might have gotten along better with Riku than with her, but they'd certainly be friendly enough while they searched. Ultimately, like with Taiyo, they would eventually decide to fight the Organization and wouldn't force him to come with them, but they'd fully welcome him if he opted to do so, especially since defeating the Organization's leadership could probably grant them access to a wider network with which to search for his friend.

In compliance with the actually canon Kingdom Hearts timeline

There's nothing saying my OCs don't exist in the Radiant Garden back in the day, so I'm saying they do and at least most of my other write-up for their relationship with Kumo still applies. They might even stick around and know each other longer, potentially even travelling with Kumo in his search for Taiyo.

Again, canon timeline!Lily probably wouldn't encounter Kumo as anything other than a lonely dusk, so there probably wouldn't be much interaction there.

Tsuki

In compliance with my OCs original AU timelines

The crew would likely find her somewhere during the time they were attempting to derail the Book, and consider her a nice enough kid, but since she's young and has people looking after her they probably wouldn't worry too much about her after moving on unless she specifically asked them about Kumo and/or Taiyo, in which case they come back and check on her pretty regularly in between everything else.

Lily & co would be approximately agemates to her if they ended up encountering her, and would probably be with Kumo or Taiyo when they did. She would, appropriately, be considered a friend of a friend, and eventually a friend in her own right. I think she and Lily would get along great, being the only members of their trios not to wield keyblades.

In compliance with the actually canon Kingdom Hearts timeline

The crew probably encounter her alongside Kumo, meaning that they would have significantly more context on her. It's also not impossible that she would begin to accompany the lot of them on their search for Taiyo.

Depending on the environment of the Fortune Fortress (is that an original location? it sounds really cool!) Lily might occasionally collect flowers or seashells there (if either of those are present) as a dusk, and it wouldn't be impossible for them to see each other, even if they probably wouldn't directly interact, at least not at first. However, because canon is an illusion and the Fortune Fortress could be very far away from it, Tsuki could see this strange, wiggly entity and decide that that's gonna be her new best friend, eventually resulting in Lily's growth to someone with hands who can then use sign language and properly communicate once they've spent enough time together. From there, Lily would be incredibly grateful to Tsuki for her time (and might even develop a little crush? 👀) and would back her up if there was any threat to her safety.

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Together

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33196183

Kairi creeps into the Hall of the Cornerstone and ends up seeing a memory of Minnie's--and perhaps gets more than she bargained for, as her own emotions and regrets come to the surface--and with it a friendship that will carry her through any trial.

For @mademoiseli Happy late birthday, sweetie!

Kairi sat down on the steps that led out of the Hall of the Cornerstone, wondering if she should go down there or not

She wanted to be a bad girl for once—as a sort of fun, perhaps, as her world had so recently fallen down—and go there against her better judgement … and some of the other Guardians of Lights’ judgement as well, if she was being honest.

Because now that they all knew that strong lights could be used to house darknesses without being corrupted—and strong lights and darknesses might call to each other like moths to a flame—there was even the chance, that a strong light like the Cornerstone of Light could resonate with Kairi too strongly. What if it tried to pull her into it, or she pulled it into herself?

These were the reasons that the Guardians had thought it a good idea that Kairi stay away from the light that kept Disney Castle safe from harm.

…But curiosity had killed the cat, and Kairi found that was very much her case when she found herself wandering down into the basement, anyway, just to get a look.

Though what ended up drawing her attention was not the Cornerstone of Light. Rather, it was this almost liquid—thought not quite—with wisps going into it, on a nearby table that had recently been erected, if its drying silver paint was anything to go by.

Kairi grew closer to it, peering into the water, where she curiously saw what looked like Lady Daisy, Huey, Dewey, Louie, Chip, Dale, someone who looked as though they were related to Goofy, and Aqua watching as Queen Minnie gave Pete an earful!

Kairi had no idea how this scene was playing out before her, without sound, but she definitely wanted to find out! So, she walked even closer to it, but ended up tripping, with her face falling face first into the water… and there, she could see this memory—perhaps that’s what it was—in all its glory.

“…Pete, we counted the votes very carefully. Ventus, Aqua, and Terra won. Oh, Pete. I think you tried to do something good, but you were doing it for the wrong reasons, and you went about it the wrong way. Still, a couple of citizens must have thought you had goodness in you, because you actually got a few votes. They knew you were looking out for them.”

Kairi didn’t know what was going on exactly, but maybe she could make some guesses based off of the Queen’s words? But Pete seemed to be boiling with anger, as he often was, and Queen Minnie seemed to be very sweet in dealing with him now and trying to reassure him that the people still cared about him, Kairi saw.

And though this was surely a memory of the past, the Princess of Heart almost wanted to believe that the other light wielder could get through to him. And that maybe things could be different for them all, going forward, if she could…

But then it all took a turn for the worst, as Pete turned towards Queen Minnie angrily.

“Big whoop! I don’t need their lousy votes! Just cough up my prize!”

And then he extended a hand towards Queen Minnie. And Kairi didn’t know if he’d meant to harm her or steal the prize, but she felt her heart go out for the small queen all the same, and her plight here.

And Kairi wanted to believe she would have had such strength and heart in the situation, without her own king.

“Pete!” Queen Minnie exclaimed. “They voted for you because they believe in you and care about you. How could you look down on that? I’ve tried to forgive a lot of things you’ve done, but this is too much. Now you’ve finally crossed the line.”

“Like that matters to me,” Pete shot back rather expertly, not seeming to care how he’d hurt Queen Minnie in the slightest with his line. And it pained Kairi to see.” Besides, what are you going to do about it?” he challenged.

“Ha! I’m gonna let you cool off for a while. Guards!” And at that point, some of the magic brooms showed up and carried Pete off, while Queen Minnie frowned at him, heartbroken, the whole time.

Kairi wondered if this was when he was banished to another dimension—another world—for all he’d done, like Sora had told her about before. She wouldn’t have been surprised.

And with that last sad image of the Queen being the last thing Kairi saw, the memory must have been over, and Kairi was pulled out of it, gasping. And she was surprised to see none other than Queen Minnie herself was watching her now!

“Quite an ordeal, wasn’t it young Kairi?” she asked. And somehow, she seemed to look at Kairi with sadness for Pete, she guessed. But not for Kairi. And no disappointment, either. It was as if she was okay with Kairi spying on her memories. Even though she’d had no right to do it at all.

“Your majesty,” Kairi stammered, dropping to a bow right away, and trying to find her graces, and the girl who might have once belittled Sora and Riku for getting into a situation, because her past self never would have… how sad it was that her present self would. “I’m so, so sorry. I had no right at all to do any of this. Especially since you’re being so kind as to let us look all over your world for Sora right now… I’ll go now.”

Queen Minnie laughed. And it was a pretty sound… and an encouraging one, that had Kairi stopping from going back up the steps that led to the audience chamber, and rather turn around to face the woman. “I acted quite like the Queen there… but part of me regrets it, you know? Because surely Pete had done worse things than that. Why was it him not appreciating people believing in him, that was the final straw for me? Was it that I was just too angry that day?”

“I think my subconscious mind, though not my conscious one, partly wondered about that when I saw your memory just now, too,” Kairi admitted, offering Queen Minnie a small smile, in seeing that they thought very much the same.

“N-not that you were too angry!”, she quickly explained, realizing her words could be misconstrued. “But what it was about that day in particular… And sometimes I wonder about my own anger. Like why I was so livid at Organization XIII. Maybe if I hadn’t been, I wouldn’t have been part of the Keyblade War and Sora would still be here…”

And God help her, Kairi was crying now. Something she definitely didn’t want to do in front of this Queen at all.

But Queen Minnie was merciful and kind, and motioned for Kairi to lean down, so she could wipe her tear away. “You mustn’t blame yourself for that, Kairi, dear. As I understand it, if you hadn’t been there, Sora would have died, and that awful prophecy about light expiring would have come true. So, it was a good thing you were there!

“And goodness me, you don’t have to be so formal with me. I’d like to think we’re all friends here. Call me Minnie!

“But it- it’s hard, isn’t it? I think we who strive closer to the light, often doubt ourselves when we get away from it. But I think those reasons happen for a reason, too. Like with Pete: when you can’t see the goodness of people recognizing you, I feel you can no longer see anything. And you can too easily become caught in the darkness then… and I think that’s why I did what I did with Pete … Do you understand, Kairi?”

“Yes, I think I do!” Kairi beamed, pulling the mouse Queen into a hug. And she didn’t know if this was right or dignified or whatever, but since Queen Minnie said that they could be friends, she decided to just go for it.

And when Queen Minnie hugged her back like it was the simplest thing in the world—magic and healing seeming to fill up Kairi’s heart as she did—she wondered if this was the start of something here.

“Thank you so much for comforting me today… Minnie. I don’t know what I would have done without you. And thank you for not caring that I accidentally spied on your memory!”

The two women started out of the audience chamber now, and would begin a journey through the hall and back to the library, much like the one Queen Minnie had taken with Sora before—feeding off each other’s light as they did so—and it would end up being a key to them finding Sora.

Queen Minnie held Kairi’s hand in hers, like Donald and Goofy had Sora’s multiple times, and Mickey had Riku’s, that many times, as well. “Hehe. Of course, my dear. And know that we’ll find Sora together.”

“Together.”

Author’s Note: Yes, it was a pensieve Kairi used. And my explanation for one being here, is that Disney apparently almost made the first Harry Potter movie. This is mentioned in the “A Conversation Between Daniel Radcliffe and J.K. Rowling” video on the Deathly Hallows DVD.

Written for you, Mademoiseli! I hope you enjoyed!

[flightfoot]

Analyzing Reyna’s romance (or rather, lack thereof) arc and her feelings towards it throughout the series

Recently, Rick published a tweet about Reyna’s orientation, stating “Personally, I see her as romantic asexual and have written her arc with that in mind. (hence the prophecy in HoO) It’s been a struggle for her to figure that out, as she explains in Tyrant’s Tomb. But as always, interpret the text as you wish.”

After reading Tyrant’s Tomb, I figured she was somewhere around ace or aro, so it was cool to see it confirmed that he wrote her with that in mind! Especially since I’m ace myself, and we don’t get a ton of representation. It was just really neat.

In light of that, I wanted to lay out and analyze her arc as it relates to her orientation, to who she’s attracted (or moreso, not attracted) to, starting from her first appearance and continuing through to Tyrant’s Tomb.

Starting all the way from “Son of Neptune”, there’s hints and conversations about Reyna’s love life woven in, with Percy noticing how Reyna reacts to Jason being mentioned.

Reyna grimaced. Percy got the feeling this guy Jason might’ve been more to her than just a colleague. (SON 41)

 Percy doesn’t know much of anything about Jason or Reyna or the culture in Camp Jupiter, so he doesn’t have much of a bias towards thinking they’re a couple because of those factors. For Percy to still pick up on Reyna being especially close to Jason is a pretty good indicator that that wasn’t just other people reading into it, seeing what they expect to see from Reyna - something which DOES happen a lot, and that Reyna goes into in Tyrant’s Tomb.

Jason… Percy couldn’t go very far in this camp without hearing that name.

“The way you talk about him…” Percy said. “Were you two a couple?”

Reyna’s eyes bored into him – like the eyes of a hungry wolf. Percy had seen enough hungry wolves to know.

“We might have been,” Reyna said, “given time. Praetors work closely together. It’s common for them to become romantically involved. But Jason was only praetor for a few months before he disappeared. Ever since then, Octavian has been pestering me, agitating for new elections. I’ve resisted. I’ve resisted. I need a new partner in power – but I prefer someone like Jason. A warrior, not a schemer.”

She waited. Percy realized she was sending him a silent invitation.

His mouth went dry. “Oh… you mean… oh.”

“I believe the gods sent you to help me,” Reyna said. “I don’t understand where you come from, any more than I understood it four years ago. But I think your arrival is some form of repayment. You destroyed my home once. Now you’ve been sent to save my home. I don’t hold a grudge against you for the past, Percy. My sister hates you still, it’s true, but Fate brought me here to Camp Jupiter. I’ve done well. All I ask is that you work with me for the future. I intend to save this camp. (SON 181)

 Initially when she’s introduced, and in the early books especially, Reyna gives off this extremely dangerous vibe, with Percy especially being nervous about her. Her initial proposition here seems very opportunistic at first, with the emphasis being on the power that comes from being her partner first and foremost, and any more romantic (or otherwise) partnership being implied as an add-on. It isn’t really clear whether she has any actual feelings for him or not.

“The point is, Percy, you are the real power on this quest. You are a seasoned veteran. I’ve seen what you can do. A son of Neptune wouldn’t be my first choice, but if you return successfully from this mission, the legion might be saved. The praetorship will be yours for the taking. Together, you and I could expand the power of Rome. We could raise an army and find the Doors of Death, crush Gaea’s forces once and for all. You would find me a very helpful… friend.”

She said that word like it could have several meanings, and he could pick which one.

Percy’s feet started tapping on the floor, anxious to run. “Reyna… I’m honored, and all. Seriously. But I’ve got a girlfriend. And I don’t want power, or a praetorship.”

Percy was afraid he’d made her mad. Instead she just raised her eyebrows.

“A man who turns down power?” she said. “That’s not very Roman of you. Just think about it. In four days, I have to make a choice. If we are to fight off an invasion, we must have two strong praetors. I’d prefer you, but if you fail on your quest, or don’t come back, or refuse my offer… Well, I’ll work with Octavian. I mean to save this camp, Percy Jackson. Things are worse than you realize.” (SON 182-183)

 Reyna’s giving off a “together we can rule” kind of vibe, though for benevolent purposes. And the emphasis on him not being her first choice necessarily but preferring him to other options, along with the casual way she talks about him possibly failing his quest or not making it back compounds the perception that this isn’t really about Percy personally, and not about any attraction she may or may not have towards him, but just what he can offer as far as strengthening the camp goes.

He could tell the audience was over. Reyna was having trouble holding herself together, keeping up the image of the confident commander. She needed some time by herself.

But at the door of the principia, Percy couldn’t resist turning. “How did we destroy your home – that spa where you lived?”

The metal greyhounds growled. Reyna snapped her fingers to silence them.

“You destroyed the power of our mistress,” she said. “You freed some prisoners who took revenge on all of us who lived on the island. My sister and I… well, we survived. It was difficult. But in the long run, I think we are better off away from that place.”

“Still, I’m sorry,” Percy said. “If I hurt you, I’m sorry.”

Reyna gazed at him for a long time, as if trying to translate his words. “An apology? Not very Roman at all, Percy Jackson. You’d make an interesting praetor. I hope you’ll think about my offer.” (SON 184-185)

 The bit about Reyna having trouble holding herself together and keeping up this image shows a crack in her earlier portrayal, that maybe she isn’t quite as... impassive I think? As she appears while making her ‘offer’ to Percy. It does make me wonder though, how much of this portrayal of her during this scene was a deliberately planned part of her character arc since the beginning, and how much was Rick writing this in the early stages and slowly figuring out her character along the way. In later scenes, especially in later books, it seemed like less of a purely pragmatic offer, and more of one with at least some twinges of actual desire behind it, albeit only twinges (not like she knows Percy that well anyway).

She glanced up at the warship. Her expression turned a little wistful. “You say Jason is aboard… I hope that’s true. I’ve missed him.” (SON 512)

 Even here, though, at the end of SON, the stalwart commander image she tries to project softens a little, and her closeness with Jason, her desire to see him again, is emphasized. Platonic or romantic, she definitely cares for him.

“Enough,” Reyna snapped. “Annabeth is what she says. She’s here in peace. Besides…” She gave Annabeth a look of grudging respect. “Percy has spoken highly of you.”

The undertones in Reyna’s voice took Annabeth a moment to decipher. Percy looked down, suddenly interested in his cheeseburger.

Annabeth’s face felt hot. Oh gods… Reyna had tried to make a move on Percy. That explained the tinge of bitterness, maybe even envy in her words. Percy had turned her down for Annabeth. (MOA 24)

 Here’s where there starts being some pretty strong implications that Reyna did actually care about Percy more personally, her romantic offer was for more than just convenience sake. Especially with the ‘maybe even envy’ part. The bitterness could just as easily be from just the rejection, but the envy implies she actively wants what Annabeth has.

“Uh, Reyna,” Jason said. “if you don’t mind, I’d like to show Piper around before the senate meeting. She’s never seen New Rome.”

Reyna’s expression hardened.

Annabeth wondered how Jason could be so dense. Was it possible he really didn’t understand how much Reyna liked him? It was obvious enough to Annabeth. Asking to show his new girlfriend around Reyna’s city was rubbing salt in a wound.

“Of course,” Reyna said coldly.

Percy took Annabeth’s hand. “Yeah, me too, I’d like to show Annabeth-“

“No,” Reyna snapped.

Percy knit his eyebrows. “Sorry?”

“I’d like a few words with Annabeth,” Reyna said. “Alone. If you don’t mind, my fellow praetor.”

Her tone made it clear she wasn’t really asking permission.

The chill spread down Annabeth’s back. She wondered what Reyna was up to. Maybe the praetor didn’t like the idea of two guys who had rejected her giving their girlfriends tours of her city. Or maybe there was something she wanted to say in private. Either way, Annabeth was reluctant to be alone and unarmed with the Roman leader. (MOA 32)

 Reyna did have some things she wanted to go over with Annabeth privately, but with the emphasis on Annabeth being able to tell how much Reyna likes Jason, her reacting coldly to him asking to take Piper around the city, along with the way she snapped at Percy for asking to take Annabeth around instead of stating her refusal more calmly, her reactions strongly suggest that she IS hurting from seeing both Percy and Jason with their girlfriends, that she does have feelings for them somewhat, and is trying to suppress it.

“Long story,” Reyna said. “But I remember you well. You were brave. I’d never seen anyone refuse Circe’s hospitality, much less outwit her. It’s no wonder Percy cares for you.”

Her voice was wistful. Annabeth thought it might be safer not to respond. (MOA 37-38)

 I didn’t pull quotations emphasizing this specifically, but Reyna’s loneliness and the strain she’s under as a commander, especially having been the lone praetor for so long, is putting her under a lot of stress. I think at least part of the reason for her hints of envy towards Annabeth and coldness about Jason having a girlfriend, is derived from her not really having had the sort of support that Percy and Jason currently have, that intimacy, that ability to drop the walls and image she’s built up in order to lead and to protect herself.

“I wanted to hear it from you,” Reyna said.

Annabeth turned. “Hear what from me?”

“The truth,” Reyna said. “Convince me I’m not making a mistake by trusting you. Tell me about yourself. Tell me about Camp Half-Blood. Your friend Piper has sorcery in her words. I spent enough time with Circe to know charmspeak when I hear it. I can’t trust what she says. And Jason… well, he has changed. He seems distant, no longer quite Roman.”

The hurt in her voice was as sharp as broken glass. Annabeth wondered if she had sounded that way, all the months she’d been searching for Percy. At least she’d found her boyfriend. Reyna had no one. She was responsible for running an entire camp all by herself. Annabeth could sense that Reyna wanted Jason to love her. But he had disappeared, only to come back with a new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Percy had risen to praetor, but he had rebuffed Reyna too. Now Annabeth had come to take him away. Reyna would be left alone again, shouldering a job meant for two people.

When Annabeth had arrived at Camp Jupiter, she’d been prepared to negotiate with Reyna or even fight her if needed. She hadn’t been prepared to feel sorry for her.

She kept that feeling hidden. Reyna didn’t strike her as someone who would appreciate pity. (MOA 38-39)

 The loneliness is really apparent here, and very explicit. I don’t think it’s even really about ‘romantic love’, as far as the whole thing with Jason goes, exactly, but... being that high level of priority. Having someone there for you closely. I think she at least thinks that a romantic relationship with Jason, or even Percy, may provide that. And that’s something most people need, regardless of orientation. 

“You see?” Reyna said bitterly. “The spear is thrown. Our people are at war.”

“Not if I succeed,” Annabeth said.

Reyna’s expression looked the same as it had at Camp Jupiter when she realized Jason had found another girl. The praetor was too alone, too bitter and betrayed to believe anything could go right for her ever again. Annabeth waited for her to attack. (MOA 253)

 Between this sudden attack out of nowhere, Jason disappearing and returning with having bonded with these new people, especially Piper, and having ‘changed’ as she said, no longer having anyone around she’s close to... well. She’s just managing as best she can.

In the center of the line stood Reyna, her metal dogs Aurum and Argentum at her side. Upon seeing her, Jason felt an incredible pang of guilt. He’d let her believe they had a future together. He had never been in love with her, and he hadn’t led her on exactly… but he also hadn’t shut her down.

He’d disappeared, leaving her to run the camp on her own. (Okay, that hadn’t exactly been Jason’s idea, but still…) Then he had returned to Camp Jupiter with his new girlfriend Piper and a whole bunch of Greek friends in a warship. They’d fired on the Forum and run away, leaving Reyna with a war on her hands. (HOH 247)

 I couldn’t find much about Reyna’s relationships with others in HOH since she’s barely in the book. From the looks of things, he’d at least believed that Reyna wanted to be with him actively long-term, something which jives pretty well with previous passages concerning Reyna’s relationship with Jason. Makes me curious how exactly they interacted in the past, what went down between them.

Also more emphasis on Reyna being stressed and on her own. That seems to be pretty heavily associated with anything talking about her love life.

So far in the ancient lands, she’d only seen one place on her wish list: Diocletian’s Palace in Split, and even that visit had hardly gone the way she’d imagined. Reyna used to dream about going there with Jason to admire their favorite emperor’s home. She pictured romantic walks with him through the old city, sunset picnics on the parapets. (BOO 75)

 And then comes Blood of Olympus, where we actually get to see Reyna’s perspective, her thoughts, instead of having to infer them from other characters’ perceptions of her. The daydreaming about going on trips with him and explicitly ‘romantic’ walks and picnics seems like she genuinely desired that to some extent. Though I do notice those are pretty cliche desires, so that may also feed into the part of her arc with feeling pressured to perform a certain way, to ‘be’ a certain way, and believing that this is how to find happiness.

She found Thalia’s eyes distracting: electric blue, intense, and alert, so much like Jason’s. (BOO 221)

 Just wanted to note this bit, since she’s paying special attention to Thalia here, especially her eyes. Though I’m iffy about this representing attraction to Reyna, since Thalia’s eyes are often commented on (at least in their heads) and a major factor in paying attention to them seems to have to do with them being like Jason’s, which could account for the focus.

The giant’s eyes clicked and dilated. Red laser dots floated across Reyna’s breastplate. “Ah, the young praetor. I admit, I’ve been curious. Before I slay you, perhaps you’ll enlighten me. Why would a child of Rome go to such lengths to help the Greeks? You have forfeited your rank, abandoned your legion, made yourself an outlaw – and for what? Jason Grace scorned you. Percy Jackson refused you. Haven’t you been… what’s the word… dumped enough?”

Reyna’s ears buzzed. She recalled Aphrodite’s warning, two years ago in Charleston: You will not find love where you wish or where you hope. No demigod shall heal your heart.

She forced herself to meet the giant’s gaze. “I don’t define myself by the boys who may or may not like me.” (BOO 238)

 It just occurred to me that I really have no clue how Orion knows about Reyna’s love life. Like I know Python can provide some intel, but was that detail REALLY that important? 

Anyway, this statement by Reyna, “I don’t define myself by the boys who may or may not like me.”, is an important step in how she relates to romance in general, and in her portrayal in the series, particularly in the Tyrant’s Tomb. Before this a lot of emphasis was placed on her being rejected by Percy and Jason, and of at least somewhat wanting to be with them in some capacity, or at least believing that she did. After this she seems more at peace with herself and less focused on past or present pursuit of relationships for herself.

“Once in Charleston, Venus told me something. She said: You will not find love where you wish or where you hope. No demigod shall heal your heart. I- I have struggled with that for…” Her words broke. (BOO 492)

 Near the end of BOO, she finally talks to someone about this. A lot of people know, but... well, with the emphasis on how alone she is, how she has to keep up appearances, it doesn’t seem like she’s really gotten a chance to break down and talk to someone. I’m glad she got to do it with Piper. And this proclamation, this prophecy, the seeming hopelessness of it that appears to re-emphasize her being alone, along with implying that she’s broken in some way with the reference to her needing to be ‘healed’... I can only imagine how it would torment her.

Reyna rolled her eyes. “If I had a denarius for every time I got that question… Aside from the fact that Thalia is in the Hunters, and thus sworn to celibacy… why does a strong friendship always have to progress to romance? Thalia’s an excellent friend. Why would I risk messing that up?” (TTT 228)

 By TTT she’s had a lot more time to come to terms with her thoughts and feelings about relationships and romance, plus she’s not alone anymore, though the situation is still dire and stressful. While during HOO her being without support and having to manage everything by herself was interwoven with the narrative about her feelings towards Jason and Percy and her lack of romantic relationships, that’s not present here. In fact, it’s the opposite, with her having a strong friendship and having no desire to turn it into something romantic. It seems like those concepts became unbundled, with her having strong support and friendship unrelated to any romance.

Reyna broke a dry branch off a shrub and flicked it into the underbrush. “I went on that quest with Jason, what, two years ago? Venus took one look at me and decided… I don’t know. I was broken. I needed romantic healing. Whatever. I wasn’t back at camp a full day before the whispering started. Nobody would admit that they knew, but they knew. The looks I got: Oh, poor Reyna. The innocent suggestions I got about who I should date.”

She didn’t sound angry. It was more like weighed down and weary. I remembered Frank Zhang’s concern about how long Reyna had shouldered the burdens of leadership, how he wished he could do more to relieve her. Apparently, a lot of legionnaires wanted to help Reyna. Not all of that had been welcome or useful.

“The thing is,” she continued, “I’m not broken.”

“Of course not.” (TTT 233)

 This conception about “being broken” is something aces tend to end up feeling, at least without knowing more about asexuality. I didn’t get it as much since I wasn’t surrounded with as much emphasis on dating and sex as a lot of other people are, so I started figuring out maybe I was different from most other people only awhile after having run across the term; I just figured it was normal to have this attraction thing start up sometime later, like late teens or so, and that I didn’t exactly know what people were talking about anyway so maybe I just didn’t recognize it. By the time I figured out that I probably wasn’t going to develop this “sexual attraction” thing anytime soon I already knew about different sexualities and was able to research the topic to see what best description best fit my own experience. So I’m glad Rick touched on Reyna’s discomfort here. With some of the earlier passages I think she may have come to view herself the same way other people were viewing her, as needing a romantic partner to help her, but now she’s realized that was never really necessary for her; she doesn’t need that in her life.

After this, the whole scene with Lester awkwardly asking Reyna out occurs, and she figures out how ridiculous all this stress over who she should be with is, that it’s not something she needs to force herself to do, to dedicate all this time and energy too.

“My whole life, I’ve been living with other people’s expectations of what I’m supposed to be. Be this. Be that. You know?”

[…]

“But the whole time I’ve been a leader here,” she forged on, “I was looking for a partner. Praetors often partner up. In power. But also romantically, I mean. I thought Jason. Then for a hot minute, Percy Jackson. Gods help me, I even considered Octavian.” She shuddered. “Everybody was always trying to ship me with somebody. Thalia. Jason. Gwen. Even Frank. Oh, you’d be perfect together! That’s who you need! But I was never really sure if I wanted that, or if I just felt like I was supposed to want it. People, well-meaning, would be like, Oh, you poor thing. You deserve somebody in your life. Date him. Date her. Date whoever. Find your soulmate.”

She looked to me to see if I was following. Her words came out hot and fast, as if she’d been holding them in for a long time. “And that meeting with Venus. That really messed me up. No demigod will heal your heart. What was that supposed to mean? Then finally, you came along.”

“Do we have to review that part again? I am quite embarrassed enough.”

“But you showed me. When you proposed dating…”

She took a deep breath, her body shaking with silent giggles. “Oh, gods. I saw how ridiculous I’d been. How ridiculous the whole situation was. That’s what healed my heart – being able to laugh at myself again, at my stupid ideas about destiny. That allowed me to break free – just like Frank broke free of his firewood. I don’t need another person to heal my heart. I don’t need a partner… at least, not until and unless I’m ready on my own terms. I don’t need to be force-shipped with anyone or wear anyone else’s label. For the first time in a long time, I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. So thank you.” (TTT 405-406)

I understand her confusion here about whether she herself wanted to be with someone, or whether she felt like she should enough that she forced some facsimile of those feelings onto herself. I suspect that there were at least twinges of genuine romantic feelings concerning Jason at least -  a lot of the focus around romance is in regards to him, and some of her reactions regarding him appeared to be more instinctual to me, like her reaction to him suggesting showing Piper around the city. Now how strong those feelings really were and whether they’d sync up well with a romantic relationship, I’m not sure. Just because you can imagine a relationship being one way, actually experiencing it you may find it’s not for you, that conceptually it’s appealing but not when actually trying to have one.

She doesn’t seem entirely sure of her own feelings as far as dating someone goes either, but she’s letting go of the idea, of the feeling that she needs to figure it out now. She can just... be. 

When I was first trying to figure out what the heck my orientation was, I fretted about it for a bit, trying to analyze my own feelings and compulsions. I thought demisexual or asexual, and as for my romantic orientation... bi perhaps?

Eventually I just... stopped worrying over it. At least all that much. Pretty sure I’m ace, but romantic orientation I’m still unsure of, though I’m currently leaning aro. And even in my twenties, I’m not totally clear on it. And I don’t have to be. Neither does Reyna. If she ends up with feelings for someone, of whatever gender, that’s fine. If she doesn’t, that’s fine too. Maybe she’ll end up changing what she thinks of herself, what she believes her orientation is as she has more experiences. Or maybe she won’t. It’s good either way.

Joining the Hunters decoupled the themes of loneliness, of isolation from HOO with the idea of romantic relationships even more thoroughly. She has that sort of camaraderie with them. She doesn’t need to be strong for them, to be the high leader. She has that support, along with not needing to be responsible for so many people’s welfare and morale anymore, all without any romantic pressure. She can just chill. There’s a reason she regards it as a vacation. And seriously, good for her!

Side note: based on the focus Reyna has on male characters as possibly being viable partners while not seeming to consider any female characters in the same light, even listing Jason, Percy, and Octavian (though I kinda doubt that was romantic) as ones she considered, but listing Thalia, Jason, Gwen, and Frank as people she was shipped with, I suspect that she’s hetero-leaning. It’s hardly conclusive evidence though, headcanon what you like.

[warrioreowynofrohan]

The Leithian Reread - Canto IX (Lúthien Defeats Sauron)

The first thing to remember for this canto is that Finrod and Beren have been imprisoned in Tol-in-Gaurhoth for a long time. For a long while I had the impression of them being there for maybe a couple weeks, and a wolf eating one of the companions every day or so. But it’s been much longer than that:

First, they were already captive when Lúthien asked Melian about what was happening to Beren. Then there’s any days before she told Daeron about her plan to go rescue Beren, and then all the time she was imprisoned in Hirilorn, including spinning and weaving her hair into the cloak. Then any time travelling until when she met Celegorm and Curufin, then the (deliverately slow) journey to Nargothrond, and then her imprisonment in Nargothrond. Moreover, Lúthien goes in Melian to ask about Beren at the start of autumn (“the summer turns...”), and at the start of the canto after this one, after she’s rescued Beren, it’s winter already. So Beren and Finrod were most likely captive in Tol-in-Gaurhoth for the better part of three months. That is a long, and very impressive, amount of time to hold out against Sauron.

So when Beren is thinking of giving in to save Finrod, and Finrod makes the mistake (in dissuading Beren from this course of action via the obvious point that there’s no way either of them are getting out alive) of saying his and Beren’s names aloud and being overheard by Sauron, it is probable that neuther of them are in a particularly lucid or rational frame of mind. They’re very close to the breaking point by now. (This is something else I only caught onto when it was pointed out by The Leithian Script.) Fortunately - and it can be attributed to nothing other than fortune, or Providence - Finrod does not state their goal outright when he states their names, or the Quest would likely have been doomed:

Nay more, I think

yet deeper of torment we should drink,

knew he that son of Barahir

and Felagund were captive here,

and even worse if he should know

the dreadful errand we did go.

Sauron shows surprisingly little interest in the fact that he’s captured Beren (‘Twere little loss if he were dead, the outlaw mortal) given that he’s the one Beren was fighting in Dorthonion/Taur-nu-Fuin and given that Beren has a price on his head the same level as the High King of the Noldor. But Beren’s guerilla career ended at least a year ago, and maybe the bounty has lapsed; or maybe he’s distracted by the greater prize. When Sauron speaks of inducing Nargothrond to ransom Felagund, he is probably thinking of similarly draconian terms to the ones he will offer to Gandalf at the Black Gate two Ages later.

And here we get the battle between Finrod and the werewolf (which is not, as memetically, him ‘biting a werewolf to death’, but throttling it; though the Silmarillion says “slew it with his hands and teeth”, so there’s some flexibility):

Lo! sudden there was rending sound

of chains that parted and unwound,

of meshes broken. Forth there leaped

upon the wolvish thing that crept

in shadow faithful Felagund,

careless of fang or venomed wound.

There in the dark they wrestled slow,

remorsely, snarling, to and fro,

teeth in flesh, gripe on throat,

fingers locked in shaggy coat.

And what kills Finrod isn’t only the wolf itself, but also the sheer power it takes to break the chains; it’s beyond his normal physical ability (even prior to being imprisoned and tortured for three months):

Here all my power I have spent

to break my bonds, and dreadful rent

of poisoned teeth is in my breast.

And I’m going to quote this next bit, even though I’ve quoted a fair bit already, because the transition from dark to light imagery, and the way the word choice, not just the meaning of the words but their sound communicates that, is exceptional:

Silences profounder than the tomb

of long-forgotten kings, neath years

and sands uncounted laid on biers

and buried everlasting-deep,

slow and unbroken round him creep.

The silences were sudden shivered

to silver fragments. Faint there quivered

a voice in sound that walls of rock,

enchanted hill, and bar and lock,

and powers of darkness pierced with light.

Note all the deep o and u sounds in the fist half - profound, tomb, long-forgotten, buried, slow, unbroken - and contrast with shivered to silver fragments. This is more than description, this is the sounds of the Lay outright creating the phenomenon that they describe. Remember Tolkien’s intense interest in how words sound even irrespective of meaning (‘cellar door is the most beautiful word in the English language’) - here he’s masterfully chosen words where both the meaning and the phonetics are in accord to create the dramatic transition from dark and silence to light and music. And The silences were sudden shivered to silver fragments is such a marvellous line in and of itself.

And Lúthien’s song spiritually transports Beren - a night of stars, nightingales, piping, and Lúthien dancing - a memory of the night they met. And this gives him back the strength to sing and to defy: old songs of battle in the North, of breathless deeds, of marching forth to dare uncounted odds and break great powers and towers, and strong walls shake; and over all the silver fire that once men named the Burning Briar, the Seven Stars that Varda set about the north, were burning yet, a light in darkness, hope in woe, the emblem vast of Morgoth’s foe.

This is the moment that Sam is thinking of in the Tower of Cirirth Ungol, when he sings and Frodo answers. They’d just been talking about Beren and the Great Jewel, on the steps of Cirith Ungol, and even the imagery is similar: nature, the stars, birdsong (though Sam goes for the homier finches rather than nightengales). And defiance even in a seemingly hopeless situation.

Sauron, like many others in thus story, underestimates Lúthien and is more amused and pleased than intimidated. When he finally realizes that Huan is killimg all his werewolves, he decides to manipulate prophecy and make himself into the most powerful wolf that has ever existed. Possible even more powerful than a pre-Silmaril Carcharoth, since the text says as wolf more great than e’er was seen from Angband’s gate to the burning south. Lúthien, nearly fainting from the wolf’s poisonous breath, uses her cloak and a whispered spell to throw it off balance, and Huan defeats it in a fight and keeps his grip on its throat even as Sauron shapeshifts.

And here’s the interesting bit. Sauron is almost about to abandon his physical form (nigh the foul spirit...shuddering strayed from its dark house) when Lúthien gets up and threatens him with precisely what he was already going to do. And she makes the threat of Morgoth’s reaction intimidating enough that he changes his mind, hands over they keys, and gives her the spell to destroy the fortress. Which, one would think, would be something Morgoth would be even less pleased with. This raises the question, for me, of whether Sauron ever went back to Angband (especially given that his failure to provide his master with prompt intel led to a humiliating defeat and the loss of a Silmaril) or whether he just spent the rest of the war hiding out in Taur-nu-Fuin. If so, it certainly adds some context to why he’d consider surrendering to Eonwë after the War of Wrath - even the times when Angband’s power was at its height wouldn’t have been very good ones for Sauron.

Lúthien casts down Tol-in-Gaurhoth and frees its captives, and then seeks Beren, who is so absorbed in mourning Finrod that he apparently doesn’t look up even when an entire fortress collapses around him. At this point, he would still recall Lúthien’s song and his own as something that happened in a dream, not reality. He finally looks up and sees her, and they are reunited in the pits of Tol-in-Gaurhoth.

If you want some fanfiction of this canto, Philosopher at Large, author of the Leithian Script, has also written some prose pieces. Betrayals, Renunciations covers the final days of Beren and Finrod in Tol-in-Gaurhoth, from the beginning of this chapter; Shadow and Silver covers the confrontation between Lúthien and Sauron, the destruction of Tol-in-Gaurhoth, the reunion, and the aftermath.