#nukes go boom

[lesser-mook]

DUNE PART TWO (Recommendation: Round 2) *light spoilers

Went in for another watch: I wasn’t tripping, this is definitely Jesus parallel/more so Anti-Christ propaganda. On the level of The Matrix, which is what this is, this generations Matrix. (also Jesus imagery/Anti-Christ/transhumanist propaganda)

Dune is worthy of that position too; Cause think about it, it’s accomplishing a level of epic the MCU took 10 years to build up to.

There’s no, and I mean NO REASON why the stakes, the action, and the characters of DUNE (movieverse) are this good when not only is Disney trying so hard to do the exact same thing AGAIN and failing —

But this is custom lore a lot of people aren’t even familiar with, this isn’t a superhero or a anime adaptation, this is coming from some book I’ve never even heard of and it’s this good? (Not a masterpiece, it’s just well made)

Both propaganda, (Matrix /Dune movies) don’t get it twisted but they’re good, except Matrix 4, that was ass.

Reverend Mother said it best:

“There are no sides”, none.

Just the order, in chaos. And if there is no chaos, well well well, better brace yourself because we’ll create a tragedy to course correct.

(Said the person part of an elite group manipulating events of the world and pulling strings, wiping out bloodlines, breeding their own followers with certain people in power to artificially bring forth a force from the “outer world”. They’re literally telling you what’s going on.)

Both propaganda, but one works & the other doesn’t (Sequel trilogy, Phase 4 MCU).

Why? because them being female isn’t their stake in the setting or their stake in your mind as you’re watching it, they’re just good characters first, people first & it registers to you as normal, not woke. Not exceptional because they’re women.

I didn’t really pay attention the first time but Florence did a good job as Irulan, channeling that mature wisdom of a leader in the making. She’s pretty smart (not in the way that modern society WANTS girls to be smart which is a Scientist or something, she’s intelligent politically and well read) and after she explained her case of the dangers of downplaying prophecy, religion & martyrdom and what that means to people wanting hope — To the Emperor. He said she’d make a fine Empress.

And he’s right. It’s easy to miss what she’s doing (actually) in the story, you see Florence ofc, but Irulan is easy to miss. That’s because the story doesn’t over-inflate her importance, when she’s more significant than she appears.

Point being, she’s a royal with a conscience (a good example of a decent person on the side of the “enemy”), she’s here & there throughout the story, being the voice of reason even to Reverend Mother, until she’s face to face, not with Paul but Muad’Dib.

Everything she said and did led up to her facing him, a force of nature of a man. Completely different animal. And both of them told the exact same thing (“Strategic alliance”)

The story begins with Irulan and it ends with Chani.

Why doesn’t the movie inflate the fact that they’re strong women? Because the movie doesn’t treat you like an idiot. That’s how it should be done.

It’s not putting them on a pedestal like many woke productions, or bending them over the couch for the sake of pandering like in Anime. Two different extremes.

Yes, Chani mentions that the Fremen way is that men and women are equal or (how any competent society should be functioning). If anyone reaches to say that’s woke? (I’m not even going to entertain that, or be smartass. Just relax. That line doesn’t mean what you think it means/ And this is coming from a mf who’s calling this Anti-Christ propaganda, so IF I’m saying the line wasn’t that deep, then it wasn’t that deep.)

Cause if you wanted to nitpick? That’s easy bait, when it’s really not.

Overall, this reminds me of Aaron Ehasz’ writing chops, how a Live Action Avatar The Last Airbender should be written.

Paul survived a genocide just like Aang but “Usul” is going in a very different direction:

Unlike Deku & Aang, Muad’Dib is not here to make friends, appeal to your inner child or some shit or hand out mercy for nothing in return.

But you’ll see what I mean. Paul is a little Gary Stu-ish (on purpose, hence the chosen one narrative. One of the signs is that he knows some of the Fremen way without being taught. Neo was a gary stu too.)

Yet the guy (Paul) still has to be taught, like Neo & Aang, he’s not perfect. He cries, he gets pissed, he doubts himself, he’s human still.)

Not a perfect little angel like Deku (who cried way too much, gets pissed only when convenient but when abused by the same guy his entire life) or unless it was time to make a CRaZy FacE during a fight. Please.

DUNE PT 1–2, Not as groundbreaking as The Matrix, not even close.

But given the fact that this has an almost 200 million lower budget than Endgame and is a better film than Endgame in story, (some) visuals, direction, writing and effects?

So yes, still a decent little movie, outside the realm of conspiracy.

Part One did it’s justice setting the groundwork, which is why it felt dry or boring for some people.

It got the work done, so the second could come out swinging, which is why the pacing felt so much better in this movie, it started right in the thick of the plot. The work was done already.

The level of foreshadowing in this movie, throughout? Is insane (PT 1 too). I counted it somewhat, the most throwaway line or an establishing shot you’d easily miss or overlook as random or an artistic decision, sets up something that will happen later, or in a couple of minutes; Or the next movie, and no I’m not even talking about Paul’s dreams.

Visual foreshadowing, visual storytelling. Vision. Not agenda shoved down your throat, not blatantly anyway. If you want to sell people propaganda without them rejecting it?

Make it good & wait for them call it a “masterpiece” or something. (People won’t question what they like, because bias lowers your defenses. That’s warfare for the mind, The Matrix mentioned something similar.)

But? When he goes Lisan-Al Gaib mode? And his speech scene in the southern temple? (my fav scene in the movie, how it began, the scene that led up to it, his stride, that shot, the MUSIC. Jfc, Hans Zimmer.)

Projecting his voice, like a godly apparition in human form. His aggression, body-language, he’s not asking, he’s telling you what’s going to happen.

The man can see timelines without an Infinity Stone, the LAST thing he wants to hear is someone informing him he has to kill one of his many mentors because of “tradition”, ALL just to speak his mind in a gathering.

Yeah, anyone would get pissed when all they’ve been hearing is “Prophecy, prophecy, prophecy” for the past imma say…(3 months toa year)

That entire scene was him embracing the role, while expressing his frustration that he had to do it at all.

He sells it 100%, reminds me a lot of Jesus roasting the priests in the temple. Same exact situation. Some other hang ups I have would be:

We never get to see exactly how Worm Riders dismount their Worms, we’re never shown how they get off. Especially how they manage to get a pregnant woman & crowd on and off one of those behemoths.

The Voice, as a concept is too broken. There should’ve been some kind of criteria like if you try to use it on someone who can also use it, it can be countered or something (Like “The Force”). Or you risk injuring your vocal chords if abused etc. It’s way too broken, you can win pretty much any fight by just commanding them to die. It’s basically Lelouch’s Geass

Paul is a sympathetic MC, he’s cool, he’s a bookworm, it’s good to see him learn something from others (to negate too much gary-stu energy), he’s like the quiet, nice kid in class. But he’s not all that interesting, that is until he transitions and he starts carrying himself a little differently. Pretentious? Sure, Messiah complex to the max, but again, consider his frustration with the whole thing. And he’s got the energy to make people follow, and I’m interested to see what he does next, that’s the point essentially. He’s not that engaging until he is.

PART TWO is worth the money because it’s 2 films in one, surprisingly well paced. But there in itself lies an issue, there’s a lot going on in just this one movie that could’ve been fleshed out. As you notice, there’s very subtle points where time-skips are implied, like Maud’Dib’s reputation, we didn’t really get to see how Usul got that reputation just that the name means something infamous to the Harkonnen’s at a point, so much so that that’s how they address him, like he’s Robin Hood or Captain America during the Civil War Arc (books). But it works because it keeps the movie from being 3 hours, but definitely skimmed over some things.

Some of the fight choreography has some chinks in the armor in the bigger scenes, like a character’s back it turned to someone who’s facing them and they don’t strike. The combat is overall solid, but that (in any movie) drives me nuts, and I saw it on my first viewing lol. But I won’t specify when or where, I don’t wanna ruin it. Because I can’t unsee it myself.

I find it very, VERY unlikely that the Harkonnen’s wouldn’t have a contingency for The Sand “Demons”/ Worms by now. Nukes exist, space ships, personal shields, hover jet packs, but not an Orbital Rail gun? Or a mounted Rail gun on a base wall? Fishy. Awfully convenient. (Harkonnen’s would have my ass in R&D because that’d be my first question to Chain of Command “What if we simply designed-”)

This is not a masterpiece, it’s a well made movie with an interesting parallel to The Matrix, very very well composed (Props to Hans Zimmer), well acted, the setting & story are interesting for what it is and how ambitious it is.

And very ominous overtones that caught my eye.

Might shill it again another time.

I recommend you watch it in theaters at least once before it goes.

If you have tinnitus or something, DO NOT brave IMAX.

That shit gets so loud it physically assaults you sometimes.

And if not, then enjoy it however you can get to it. It’s the same movie wherever you watch it.

TMI: I personally ignored the first movie when it dropped, “Paul’s Dream” OST somehow found it’s way to me via a playlist in 2022, finally watched PART ONE March 2024, then I was impressed with what PART ONE was setting up, and the sequel impressed me more —

So, If this is trying to be a Trilogy, I’m definitely going to have eyes on that 3rd installment.

Because Paul’s Dream in PART ONE regarding what Chani does to him, definitely makes more sense given not only — how uneasy she was the moment he broke off from the worm caravan suddenly to (do what he did), what he did in the temple, and how scorned she was later on (won’t specify) —

We can only imagine what else he's going to do that (might) lead to her making that call.

And that’s an “if” because Paul says to Jessica (after the attack, tent scene) he saw his death but claims that’s not what it means. 

And it also makes sense in context of the story. The knife was given to him by Chani, and to begin his journey to become Kwisatz: Paul had to die through killing another (Jamis). Killing another is killing himself. So the vision’s meaning was likely isolated to PART ONE’s plot, but it’s something to keep in mind for potential PART THREE.

It’s funny, cause My Hero spoils the ending in just the second episode, it doesn’t work because there’s no narrative point to it, doesn’t progress or fit the kind of story that it is.

Like Spider-man 2002 didn’t begin with Peter saying he’s Spider-Man, it began with a question:

"Who am I?"

It ENDED with him saying who he is, answering the question, because narratively, it makes more sense to hear it AFTER we see the goddamn story, and what he just sacrificed to be who he is. All to justify the answer to the question:

I bet you before now, you didn't really even think that hard on Peter's question making sense to that extent until now lol. That's how subtle it is.

Tangent: (Horikoshi copied other people’s homework without knowing why their shit worked in the first place, in context. The man at heart was a fanboy of A LOT of franchises, and you can see it in the entire story *He named a street after "Tatooine"* But his execution & ideas needed more time to mature. His mistake was getting involved with Shonen Jump before he had it figured out and or getting involved with them at all.)

Otherwise, main reason SM2002 narration works: Is because it isn’t a fantasy film with prophetic elements, it’s a superhero title and it didn't spoil anything.

For that MHA story, us knowing Deku becomes the greatest hero contributes to nothing, because for that story, that doesn’t make sense to know it that goddamn soon.

But in this story, with visions & prophecies, all these biblical parallels, knowing what happens in fragments, works because of how the film executes it, the setting is compatible with it — hooks you to keep watching, some visions are proven right. So for the audience that gives us a sense of progress and achievement even though all we’re doing is watching, we’re not doing anything, It’s very immersive. 

Like J.J Abrams “Mystery Box” technique but it’s not shit.

Hence why, DUNE: The movies, so far, are already a better Sequel Trilogy than the Sequel Trilogy of Star Wars. Because like EPISODE 7, PART ONE was just 100% Set up and foundation. And PART TWO was basically EP8-9, and now we might get another.

2 ways to technically spoil events here, but 2 out of 3 examples work. Because the storytelling methodology are completely different.

MHA was just copying an aesthetic without understand why the original worked (which is why the story began promising but ended up a narrative failure)

DUNE is compatible with it because the story itself already has mystic/biblical/prophetic elements, so it’s compatible with the trope

And for Spider-Man 2002 specifically, it didn’t jump the gun before the story was even finished in the writing room. There was a long-term point to the narration and the question.

It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it.

[corvidist]

Another pretty old drawing with a minor error, nothing like an anti-Human nihilist cult, formed in the aftermath of a nuclear war on the Indian subcontinent and amist a global climate collapse and civil war across the US and Canada, detonating a stolen nuclear bomb in Washington DC in the 2050s.

[praise-suns-and-chill]

Fish did a better service during WW2 than the US Government

[diremoone]

your girl is so sore 😭😭 helping someone move ain’t easy lemme say. been at this for three days it’s crazy 😮‍💨

[skyburger]

very funny to me that kaz is the one to say "they played us like a damn fiddle" considering the plot of every metal gear game is the protagonist getting played like a damn fiddle way more than little old kaz EVER did

[britcision]

Okay but I’ve been possessed by the need for Bruce to go find the Fentons for intel on Danny

And instead of useful intel on their son (he did not need the propaganda), they clock him, recognize him as related to Jason (possibly by being forewarned) and just

FAMILY BONDING! Hello Fellow Dad, clearly you are here for our Parents Of Halfas Support Group!

Most specifically Bruce trying to insist that he hasn’t failed Jason, and Jack just cheerfully clapping him on the back with all his might and booming boisterously

“Of course you failed! Your son died! There might never have been anything you could do to prevent it, but that won’t stop you feeling like you’ve should have!”

I just want Jack Fenton to emotionally nuke people as casually as he offers them ham

[conkreetmonkey]

Splatoon 3 is wild because imagine if you were living in Japan due to a recent economic and cultural boom, and suddenly a space shuttle with a mutant house-sized T-rex riding it suddenly burst from the center of Mt. Fuji and disappeared into space without explanation, and all you ever find out about what the fuck that was about is that Zuckerburg mysteriously disappeared the same day and was never seen again, but still "officially" ran Meta through an open secret Queen-Elizabeth-being-in-good-health gaslighting campaign, and everybody kind of suspected he may have been connected but never figured out anything conclusive.

Also the T-rex is now orbiting the earth in the fetal position like the guy from Jojo, and there are rumors of a substance that, if touched, turns you into a half-dinosaur monster. Nobody understands any of this but Meta employees just keep going to work and pretending Zuck still exists. The same 12 prerecorded voicelines constantly squak from the PA system.

Oddly, the statue in front of Meta HQ of a T-rex eating a human changes overnight into one of a giant human eating a tiny T-rex. Nobody noticed the switch, despite the statue being in a constantly bustling area. It happened shortly after the shuttle incident.

Jack Black's tiny clone, Lil' Jack, now wears a headset at all times and has been acting really shady since the incident. Also they're both hyperintelligent, immortal velociraptors found in an ancient cryogenic chamber who spend their days judging college football and eating the legally harvested flesh of hillbillies. Lil' Jack is probably plotting to kill Big Jack, but Big Jack doesn't seem to care, growing fat and lazy, sleeping on public benches in a bed of throw pillows. Also, he's very open about the fact that, as a velociraptor, humans look delicious, but he hasn't actually eaten anybody aside from the aforementioned hillbillies because he's civil.

Everyone is just expected to move on with their lives after this. This is normal to you.

The local art school was recently attacked by giant sea serpents, which were actually hideously bioengineered hillbillies, fulfilling a biblical doomsday prophecy, and they were driven back by Meta's army of minimum wage, part time child soldiers armed with warcrimey jury-rigged weaponry. The sea serpents had giant frying pans grafted into their mouths, which launched primitive tactical nukes made by filling garbage bags with their explosive blood. They still exist, and occasionally defend their comrades, but spend most of their time in the deep sea.

The local homeless emo twink everyone's attracted to is a closet millionaire who sells bootleg clothing in exchange for live rats, which he messily devours behind closed doors. He's also 8 feet tall and British and only has one eye.

North Korean refugees now flood the western world, after a greasy 14 year old hipster, under the guidance of Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift, beat Kim Jong Un in a mech battle, and the EDM remix of the Japanese national anthem they performed caused like half the soldiers to immediately realize North Korea sucks ass and defect. One of these individuals, 7 foot tall hypergenius, becomes a newscaster alongside a nepo baby rapper with dwarfism who likes to eat entire jars of mayo, and also they're a popular band. Also also, they may or may not be gay. Almost the entire population is gay, so this isn't a huge deal.

The new local newscasters are a famous Japanese lion tamer, an Indian girl with a bloodline trait allowing her to control snakes, and a Brazillian man the size of a smart car who exclusively communicates via grunts.

Gods, souls and zombies are objectively real, and you're effectively immortal because real-life respawning was invented a while ago. It works like a Keurig, but with mucus instead of coffee. Submersion in water kills you.

A good deal of the population is a hivemind. They pretend to be individuals for no reason.

Almost all men are now femboys.

Despite all this, you still have to go to work at 9 tomorrow.

[eternalera]

i think people are underestimating how exactly yuuji must've been feeling when megumi got possessed by sukuna cause like, everyone is underestimating yuuji's whole dynamic with megumi and how strong it is. like this is gonna be from a shipping stand point but like even then. its so prominent throughout the manga cause like

imagine you ate a crust dusty demon finger to save this one guy just because but then turns out you werent supposed to do that and now that you did youre gonna get executed but this guy asks his extremely powerful teacher (*cough* FATHER FIGURE *cough* sorry what?) to save your dumbass and then later on down the line you get killed at a detention center in front of him and learn that he didnt have a reason for saving you he just thought that you were a good person and because of that he didnt want you to die. it was ultimately selfish but it was part of the reason why you ended up living. THEN you get brought back to life and youre back together again and youre hanging out and having fun and then BOOM you learn he has a sister thats been in a coma for a while and because of something that sister may or may not be dead sooner or later. then you go to some bridge or smth to fight off curses and you find him SLEEPING on the ground with another crusty ass demon finger in his hand and you think hes almost DEAD. then later on you figure it out that 'hey everything started happening because i ate that finger' and the demon in your head laughs at you because of it but youre all like but dont tell the guy who saved me please and the guy who saved you tells yours lesbian bestie about the finger and goes 'btw dont tell him please' ANYWAYS stuff happens shibuya the demon inside you ends up basically nuking entire ENTIRE city (possibly more) and youre all depressed and you got a pep talk from the rock but that doesnt really help you and then some depressed emo ass kid was sent to kill you and skip forward and the same guy who saved you first then tells you not to take the blame for nuking the city all by yourself because he saved you and therefore he should also get some of the blame and he tells you how you shouldnt give up all by yourself. NOW TIMESKIP CAUSE THIS IS LONG anyways said guy has got attachment issues and doesnt wanna be separated from you and anyways NOW HES BEING POSSESSED BY THE DEMON THAT WAS IN YOU!!?!??!?

like i they went through ALL of that shit- i dont think people understand just how much these two went through together like. of course yuuji isnt giving up on him.

have you seen those two? they have attachment issues

[harrowedsoup]

The Houses should have expanded by now.

They’ve been flipping planets and shit but like- have they not tried to colonize any? Why has it been 10 thousand years and there isn’t a need for more room? Earth is apparently so haunted in some places that doing necromancy might be dangerous (or maybe that’s just Canaan) so I get why they don’t expand there but… why are the Houses having such a hard time? Is the death rate that high, the birth rate that low or is it a mixture of both?

They have the technology to at least partially make test tube babies - the death rate is SO high/ birth rate so low that the amount of resources that it takes to make people that way isn’t enough to truly grow the population or even keep it even.

John. John you failed Civilization. You got nuked 50 turns ago and thought your single villager was enough to reset a in the shadows but it didn’t work. John your civilization depends on child soldiers whose main attack is ‘make bodies go boom’ and your officers start trying at six. John what are you doing.



[villalunae]

im in such a utena mood right now i think anthy would not use nuclear war codes if she had them but would instead drop hints of incoming nuclear winter to nanami by messing with the plants in the birdcage and mentioning dead roses are often considered an omen of war (lie) so that nanami attempts to discredit her by looking up omens of war through a book miki lended her and instead finding out that all the crazy shit happening to her in the last few days (kangaroo showing up on campus was actually a political refugee, tsuwabuki prepping her cheat sheet for an upcoming test on the ramificiations of nagasaki and hiroshima, students gathering about television sets that before she can see what terrible news theyre watching someone says "turn something nice on instead!" and she only sees shopping channels marketing items like gas masks, bomb shelters, and canned foods) has actually been subtle hints and omens that they're approaching world war three and nanami ends up going to touga asking if theyre gonna make it and if japan can withstand another genocidal war crime against humanity and touga somehow reads this as her telling him her dream job is to be a stripper and tells her "silly little sister. all women are inferior to men already bc of eve's fatal sin. dont degrade yourself further than you already have" and shes like "what do you mean degrade myself further than i already have" and hes like "dont worry about it youre perfect to me. like a 9.5/10. or an 8/10. maybe a 6. definitely not any lower than a 3" and after hearing that she goes to bed upset and confused because not only is her brother not taking nuclear war seriously he also once again made her feel infantilized and small and then after hearing a loud boom in the distance she thinks nuclear war is starting and starts freaking out and thinks "my brother must have been speaking in a code! he was trying to make me feel nostalgic about my childhood to comfort me before the upcoming attack! now that nuclear war is starting i should take shelter but we dont have a bomb shelter here but ohtori has a bunch of students! it probably does!" running to ohtori and trying to think of the oldest building on campus and goes to utena and anthy's door banging on it in the middle of the night and utena gets up in her jammies like "what?" and nanamis like "QUICK we all have to GET UNDERGROUND wheres your NEAREST BOMB SHELTER" and anthy comes in behind utena like miss nanami what are you talking about? :) and utena is like yeah seriously thats so weird. i guess you can come inside . we couldnt sleep anyway because -- and then nanami sees on the floor of their room a bunch of scattered papers with a big red button in a briefcase and nanami points at anthy and is like "IT WAS YOU THAT LAUNCHED THE NUKE??????" and anthy says "oh this? this button is enrichment for my pet parrot! ive named her nanami. nanami press the button" and nanami the parrot presses the button and theres a loud boom and nanami (not the parrot) is like but what was that?!?! i heard it from my house!!!! and utena is like "oh! you must be talking about the firework display! the button is rigged up to some fireworks we got for the upcoming spring festival and we were actually up late tonight trying to get the display to work! we messed up pretty bad and most of the fireworks went off at once though haha." nanami the parrot keeps pressing the button in the bg and anthy is like "aww i guess that was the last firework left!" and nanami is like b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but what about the kangaroo? and the test on nagasaki and hiroshima?? and the shopping channels advertising gas masks and bomb shelters and canned food??? and utena says "oh the kangaroo was a political refugee from australia its boxing career went down the hill after it killed steve durwin in a freak accident. all schools are doing history tests on world war two this time in the semester!" and anthy says "yes and because theres no clear threat of nuclear winter anymore all the old holdovers from wwii are being sold at discounted prices :)"

as nanami leaves the house feeling much better but also stupider she gets traumatized one last time by another firework going off and utena yells out the window "sorry nanami! guess there was one more loaded in there!" the firework design is chuchus face and he has been mysteriously absent this whole time. we see him in the sex car with that cat thing from madoka driving

[anshelsgendercrisis]

Tee hee bad guy go boom

fellas is it activist to laugh abt nearly 20,000 palestinians in tel aviv-jaffa being killed if the internet leftists somehow magically got ahold of a nuke and got to fulfill their antisemitic fantasy of slaughtering several million jewish civilians even if it means also killing thousands of the ppl they claim to care abt.

[huskynotwolf]

Convexian Hitman AU

Part 1 I guess

AU by @tibbycaps/ @tibby-art

Written by @thecrazyhusky

(I mixed in dsmp, it’s more fun with those swearing idiots :D )

Mission: Find and destroy target’s weapon supply (target’s name is Tubbo and Jack Manifold)

Cub’s PoV

“I want you to destroy his weapons.” Doc looked at us, dead serious.

We (me and Scar) were in the NHO’s conference room, listening to Bdubs rant about this new case we had to deal with. Scar had already yawned at least two times and I had grabbed every single one of their cans of carbonated drinks or whatever at the table and shook them so hard they looked like ticking bombs. Etho was also eyeing us with much suspicion, and I suspected he was up to something.

“All of them?” I asked.

“All of them.” The goat-creeper confirmed. “He was some sort of former president of a country. He’s got some ass-load of explosives. Specifically, bombs. Lots of those.”

“Ah.” Scar smiled. “Big boom.”

“Really?” I looked at him.

“And here are the conditions, since you three are definitely gonna loophole out of this.” Doc growled.

“You have to get this done by this week, which is three days. No eating anyone, and I mean anyone. You find those explosives, disable them, then leave. Nothing else. I don’t want those Snowchester people come fighting with nukes.”

I raised an eyebrow. “They got nukes?”

Scar sniggered. I kicked him.

Doc glared at my fellow Vex. “And bring Grian. He’ll be of use.”

“Grian? You sure?” I asked.

“Yes.” Doc grunted. “And you better get the job done. Go. Now.” He said.

I nodded, grabbed Scar’s wrist and dragged him out of the conference room, heading down to Grian’s “office”, while hearing Bdubs and Beef screech loudly along to the sounds of soda exploding. I allowed myself a slight smile.

“Dang it. Should’ve rigged ‘em better.” I said.

Scar gave me a look. “Don’t tell me you shook all of them.”

“I did. But I could’ve just fitted them with grenades instead.” I replied, taking a left turn down the hallway.

We found her studying a file about Tubbo.

“Hey.” She greeted us, not looking up.

“Hiya. You ready?” I asked.

Since Grian has her Watcher powers, she could technically see us coming, so I assumed she was already prepared.

“Let’s just go. Tango yelled at me earlier. I want to get out of here as soon as possible.” She stood up, then walked towards us.

“Tango? Why?” Scar asked.

“None of your concern.” She shrugged.

We headed out the door, taking the lift down, then exiting the building. As soon as we stepped out, Grian winced.

“You okay?” I asked her.

“Y-yeah,” she replied. “It’s just…overwhelming.”

“Hmm.” I shot a glance at Scar. “Scar, you got the map? Coords, at least?”

“Ask the all-seeing.” He pointed at Grian. Grian made a low growling sound.

“Wow, I though you prepped.” She muttered under her breath.

“Yes, I have the map. It’s in my head.” She raised her voice.

“Great!” Scar smiled. “Let’s go, then.”

I leaned closer to Grian. “You okay, dude?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s…” she exhaled. “Alright.”

“Good.” I said, then secretly kicked Scar. The man glared at me but I didn’t reply.

“Let’s go.”

***

“We gonna take a subway. Then a cross-country train. Then another high-speed railroad.” I said, laying down a drawn map.

“Snowchester’s all the way out there, so we probably need to either stop to eat on the way, or we have to bring food.” I rolled up the map and shoved it in my pack.

Scar rolled his eyes. “You’re concerned about eating?”

“Grian needs to eat as well.” I hissed.

I had shoved the three of us into a Seven Eleven’s, where my reason was, “we need substance.”

Grian nudged Scar. “Here’s the thing, bud. We don’t have money. How-“

I waved a five dollar bill I snatched from someone. “Steal.”

“Did you get his whole wallet?” Scar asked, his eyes glinting mischievously.

I gave a low chuckle. “Duh I did.” I held out the stolen wallet. Scar sniggered. “This guy’s got a hundred and fifty.”

Grian gave us a look of annoyance and frustration. “You know it’s illegal to steal, right?”

Scar materialised behind her, making her jump. “Nah. It’s fine.”

Grian narrowed his eyes at him but didn’t snap back a comment.

I handed Scar about thirty dollars worth of bills. “Grian, you can go with Scar to buy food.” She shot me a dirty look, got up and disappeared behind the aisles with the Vex.

I took out twenty and nabbed a sandwich and two bottles of water, in which to avoid getting yelled at by Grian, I payed for it instead of stealing it.

Though I will admit I stole a can of Sprite.

Yeah. Maybe.

Grian bought coffee and milk tea (where did she find that?) and Scar bought a bun and bottled Cola, though I could tell he didn’t intend to drink it, he’s just gonna prank me with it.

As we left that store, I searched for enough money to get us to the subway station. Six dollars to get in, then they needed eighteen. I decided not to give them the coins and bills yet, as Scar had a tendency to lose things.

Very, very often.

We headed to the subway station, while Grian kept cautiously looking around for signs of danger. However, despite this, Scar seemed extremely carefree.

“G, man, there’s nothing to worry ‘bout. It’s not like someone would just suddenly drop down and try and kill us, right?” He said to no one in particular.

“Don’t jinx it.” She huffed. “I see something. Though I can’t pinpoint where it is.”

I approached the subway tunnel, with the two nitwits trailing behind. “Yeah, something’s definitely wrong. I can feel it.”

I stepped down the stair, then halted when something whizzed past me and embedded itself into the wall with a thunk.

“Honestly, Foolish, how bad can your aim be!” I heard a yell. The three of us swivelled our heads towards the noise, and standing on the side of the street, armed with crossbows, were two deranged-looking people. At least that’s what the first word that came to my head when I saw them.

The one who shot the projectile, Foolish, looked suspiciously like a totem of undying, and it made me question whenever he’s an actual totem or not. His friend was a girl who wore dark sunglasses and had long streaks of hair running down both sides of her head. What she wore screamed pirate in every way.

Grian sighed. “Scar, you jinxed it.”

Scar glared at her. “No I didn’t!”

I slapped Scar before he could argue any further and hissed, “don’t make the situation worse, dumbass!” and marched towards the pair with crossbows. Scar gave me an offended look but I knew he was playing around for fun.

“What do you want?” I demanded.

Foolish looked at me. “You don’t have the authority to order me around.” He said.

“You just tried to kill me. Are you hitmen?” I snapped.

His friend glared at me. “You were trying to destroy our military.”

Grian and Scar came up from behind. “What do you know about that?” Grian challenged.

“I know for a fact that you were sent to destroy our nukes. We’re from Snowchester, mind you.” The girl growled.

Grian suddenly looked like he was lost in thought. Scar stared at her, then shook her to try snap her out of her trance, but did nothing except from earning a well-deserved smack in the face by her.

“Well, we don’t really care about who sent you. This is about our country’s safety. You back off, or we’ll make you.” Sunglasses Girl said, raising her crossbow.

I processed her words, then turned to Scar. “Wait, if we die, is our contract technically broken?”

He paused. “Wait…you know what? You’re right! We can just let ‘em kill us!”

“But do we like, reincarnate or something? What do you think we’d be-“

Sunglasses Girl facepalmed. “No-that’s not what I meant! I don’t want anyone dead!”

Foolish nudged her. “Whatever, Puffy. They’re not part of our nation.”

Grian shook her head. “You have your own problems. Deal with whoever the fuck Dream is first, then come back and kill us. Besides, Tubbo is a literal threat to society.” She said. “You shouldn’t be listening to that menace.”

Puffy, aka Sunglasses Girl, looked promptly taken aback by Grian’s comment. “How do you know about Dream?”

“Can we take this conversation somewhere else? We’re attracting quite a lot of unwanted attention.” Grian interrupted. “One dude who passed by thought you were a terrorist.”

Foolish and Puffy took a while to discuss, and as soon as they took their eyes off the us and Grian, I took out the stolen can of Sprite, shook it hard, opened it (but barely) then yeeted it at Foolish. It landed on the ground and the entire can burst like a grenade, spewing soda everywhere.

We bolted for it, making a beeline for the subway station, with Scar mainly being dragged all the way. By the time the pair from Snowchester realised what’s happening, we were already down the subway and had managed to get into the train already.

“Ok, that was…awkward.” Grian panted, slightly out of breath.

I grunted. “Whatever. You shouldn’t have told them about your powers.”

She shook her head. “I…sorry.” She muttered.

“Eh. We could go back and kill them both.” I shrugged.

Scar nodded. “Actually, yeah. I would love to do that.”

Grian paled. “No you don’t!” She cried. “Why must you always kill people left and right?”

Both of us Vexes turned their piercing gaze at her. She immediately shut up and sank into the seat.

“Can I kill Tubbo?” Scar asked.

“No,” Grian and I said almost simultaneously. I gave her a look but she said nothing.

“Aww.” He huffed. “I’m bored.”

“You won’t be when we reach the border.” Grian said.

“What?” I asked. “Are you talking about…the border between the city and Greater Dream SMP or whatever that place is called?”

She nodded. “You know we don’t have our IDs or passports. It’s gonna be a wild chase with the border guards there.”

“Ooo, what do they do?” Scat asked.

Grian groaned. “They would chase you down on horses and they never stop. Literally, they could hunt you continuously for days without stopping.”

“Sounds fun,” Scar said.

Grian bit her lip to prevent herself from snapping back at him.

I looked at her. “Listen, if you know about the border guards, do you think we can get past them?”

She nodded. “You can get past them, but it’s gonna be hard.”

I gave both of them a wide smile. “Alright. We have two hitmen on our trail, we don’t have IDs of any sort and we’re about to be chased down by a few border guards. What’s the worse that could happen?”

To be continued

(I did it on another platform and then tried to paste it on Tumblr but ended up with so much lag I can’t even type properly lol)

[box-off]

Postal dude and women opinion:

HE DOESN'T NEED A GIRLFRIEND IN THE END!!

That was the part that always bothered me in Postal Movie and Postal 3. Why is he getting a girl in the end? I mean, there is NEVER any chemistry between them! It's like, the "Oh shit, what is cool? Having a girlfriend?? GIVE HIM A GIRLFRIEND!!" and they just take a random person and boom, now Dude (the hot guy) has a girl to be around with (the hot girl). While Dude looked absolutely PATHETIC the whole time up until the end when he becomes the hottest man on earth and every woman wants him.

Don't get me wrong, the Postal Movie girl? She's cool! She's badass, she's awesome! But WHERE DID SHE CAME FROM?? Okay, barista at the cafeteria, I get it, but Dude saw her, what, like 3 times? That's not enough to have any emotional connecting with a person! But okay, I can excuse it with the fact that there was a nuke blowing up the city, he just saw his uncle die, nobody cares at this point about anything, might as well spend the time with a cool ass girl who you just met. Like, it's alright compared to Postal 3 WHICH IS OMFG WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON-

That's what I like about Postal 4 so much. Did Dude find a cool girl who kicks ass? Yes!! Did they meet? Yes! Did they got together in the end? No. They at maximum had sex and then she saved him, before disappearing into thin air. And even she made more sense than ANY OTHER "POSTAL BABE" THAT POSTAL HAD BEFORE TO PAIR WITH DUDE. (Also, hey Dude, mind talking about that choking kink you have going on there?)

Next game? I expect him to have hot gay sex in the next game! But no boyfriend in the end either, just hot gay sex.

[anonymous-dentist]

No but guys I've actually cracked the case here on this one.

We know that qCellbit left himself behind in Purgatory and that he's been there since, and we know that qBaghera is there, too. ccBaghera tried getting back online, but the admins basically said "Not yet, it isn't time." So we know that there's something planned regarding the players who chose to stay behind.

Purgatory 2 takes place on the same island the first one did. This was confirmed by ElQuackity when he was talking with Cucurucho the other week, and the poster tonight showed the whole "radioactive" thing, which goes with the fact that Purgatory was fucking nuked at the end last time.

Not everybody died at the end of Purgatory, just qMax. The eggs were all shown to survive, and so were the three new eggs. So were Foolish and Tina and all these other player characters not shown to be on the boat. With Baghera and Cellbit specifically, Baghera tried getting online literally a couple days ago, and Cellbit's ending screen after Purgatory showed that he was still alive because it was his stupid fucking emo lore screen. (Jackass.)

We know that qRoier promised Cellbit over a month ago at this point that, no matter what, he'd go and find Cellbit if he disappeared.

Now, Roier doesn't believe that Cellbit is dead, and he's been working on something in secret that'll supposedly let him make sure if Cellbit's dead or not.

We know that you can legit just swim to and from Purgatory from Quesadilla Island- or, more realistically, you can boat.

Purgatory 2 is for new ccs, but a couple of regular qsmp players are also supposedly taking part. This would probably be the guys who enjoyed it the most, notably possibly including Roier, who really really really liked Purgatory last time but who couldn't really enjoy it as much as he wanted to because he was super sick for most of it. A bunch of his friends might also participate because tournaments like Purgatory are HUGE in the Hispanic community.

Following this logic, I propose the following:

Roier's secret project is a boat that would allow him to sneak away from the Federation and back to Purgatory to look for his husband

Cellbit is alive because he's, whether you like it or not, too important to the island's plot at this point to die at the end of some random event right in the beginning of his own lore

Roier is going to boat to Purgatory to look for Cellbit (or his body), and he's going to get roped into Purgatory 2 because of the sin of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Cellbit will be ridiculously radioactive and probably insane, but what else is new with him?

Cellbit is still on the island. Roier is now on the island.

BOOM!! Spiderbit reunion :D

[samuraiko]

CRITICAL ROLE C3E77 Spoilery Opinion [SPOILERS AHOY]

YES I'M POSTING SOMETHING ELSE

SPOILERS INCOMING

LOREM IPSUM

---

I am actually copypastaing something I wrote over on the CR subreddit LATE last night, just in case you're wondering if you might have seen this elsewhere. I just want to throw it out again here just in case the mods over there nuke that entire thread because of DRAMA™.

---

This is pure speculation on my part - I make *NO* claims whatsoever into any special insight on how Taliesin plays his characters, and I fully embrace the possibility that a) I am wrong, and b) no one is obligated whatsoever to agree with me. :)

That said.

Twice before now, Ashton was granted some weird, who-knows-what-the-hell-it-is power through acts that he had NOTHING to do with.

His father screwed up a rite - BOOM, Ashton is transformed into an earth genasi.

The Jiana Hexum robbery went sideways and Milo freaked out and dumped a whatever-the-hells-this-might-be potion (yes *I* know what it is) in Ashton's skull - BOOM, Ashton gets his rage powers.

But this time, there's an incredibly dangerous power that could maybe save the world AND the gods but hopefully most of all his friends... and this IS something that Ashton can control.

This *IS* a choice he can make for himself.

HE chose to dive into the lava after this shard.

HE chose to respect Fearne's repeated denials that she didn't want it.

HE chose to take it into himself.

This was something going sideways that HE COULD CONTROL.

And don't forget - Ashton being a reckless gambler was established all the way back in the very earliest episodes of the campaign.

Do I agree with Fearne kicking him in the face afterward? ABSOLUTELY. He just scared fifty years off her life with that stunt, and as someone who has loudly proclaimed that she is DONE losing people, this must have been her second-worst nightmare (her worst being losing Orym).

So do I understand him doing this? Yes, I do. I think he could have handled it a lot better, but let's hear it for that 6 Charisma.

And I think that he's going to get an absolute EARFUL from all of the Hells (and so he should). And more than anyone else, I hope Orym is the one to really chew him out, because if Ashton seems to respect anyone as authority in the Hells, it's Orym.

[eisforeidolon]

I'M PISSED OFF BY MISHA'S ATTITUDE AND LIES TOWARDS JARED!

HE'S GONE TOO FAR. SAYING THAT THING ABOUT JARED AND PLAYING THE VICTIM WHEN HE IS ACTUALLY JUST A LYING NARCISSIST. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE CAN STILL SUPPORT HIM AND BELIEVE IN WHATEVER HE SAYS.

JARED SHOULD REALLY SUE HIM AT THIS POINT FOR WHAT HE'S SAYING ABOUT HIM.

You know, I was trying to remember yesterday just how many times it's been now where Misha has surpassed himself in being a bitter, gross, ungrateful and jealous little troll to the point it astonished me. Like, did he really say that?!? Wow.

Like, it started out with the occasional sly imprecation and it seems like the more irrelevant he becomes and the more he's gotten away with? The more emboldened he's gotten to just tell more and more blatantly ridiculous and even potentially harmful lies. I kind of feel like at this point, until he openly says something so absolutely, undeniably putrid that J2 find out and cut him off, it really is going to keep escalating indefinitely.

I mean, I honestly find the fans letting him get away with it less baffling than him doing it in the first place. Because we've already seen that in their desperation to pretend getting canon D/C is the most important cause ever in LGBT+ history, they will believe anyone who tells them what they want to hear and try to throw anyone who they see as "in the way" under the bus. So, yeah, Misha could bitchslap their grandma and run over their dog and they'd still live up his ass. Talking any level of shit about Jared is a-okay with them, because they already want to believe he's evil for Sam existing at the center of SPN instead of their shitty ship. Not only that? But at the end of the day, they really have nothing to lose. Their wackadoodle online behavior isn't likely to have any impact on their IRL lives, and even in terms of online lives? For the most part, they could slink away from their batshit heller identities tomorrow and have a clean slate.

Misha though? Like, what the actual fuck are you doing, dude, you're not just burning real life personal and professional bridges, you're trying to nuke them from orbit. Sure, he's not getting any new roles because anyone in the business of hiring can see the caliber of his "acting talent" in the last several seasons of SPN. But is he really that confident he thinks no level of backstabbing is going to get his ass booted from conventions and any potential revival? Can he actually be stupid enough to have bought so far into the smoke his stans are blowing up his ass to think that he's actually as indispensable as J2? One line about how Cass is busy in heaven and boom, he's acceptably accounted for to the majority of the GA.

Even the nicest, most forgiving person in the universe is going to eventually say enough is enough. Basically accusing Jared of endangering his life to try and make his own actions of flushing Jared's phone look less shitty by comparison is ... I don't have words. How much lower can he even go? Unfortunately, I suspect we'll continue to find out.