#so I’m def using those
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My friend and I are Officially making plans to see the Barbie movie so I’m tryna figure out an outfit but I DONT OWN ANYTHING PINK AH
#technically I have a t shirt from seeing mean girls but idk where it is and we agreed to Dress Up for It#and I refuse to go buy something I know I’ll wear Once cause. I really don’t wear pink#more of a green or blue girlie#I do have two dresses that are part pink#but one is a Very Expensive designer dress#and the other is. old as hell and might not fit#to be fair I haven’t tried either on so they might not even Be Options#and I don’t have any pink accessories so I can’t just. do neutrals and then pink accents#so like??? ah???#actually correction I have two rose quartz necklaces and pink heart sunglasses#so I’m def using those#love how I’m loosing my mind over an outfit with just. SO MUCH time between now and the premier#but I have nothing else to do other than Instruments and I’m gonna practice Anyways today#so anyways. I should probs try on the dresses and if one doesn’t fit or I don’t like How it fits in probs goin with the other#but if they both fit and look nice. it becomes the question of ‘lace and lil roses’ or ‘lace and Sparklies’#and short or long but like eh#I should probs txt my friend to make sure we’re both like Dressing Up dressing up too#eh#I’ll figure it out
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Togame Jo’s greeting kisses to you are always way too long.
The kind of affection that’s usually savored in private, instead displayed wherever, whenever, and every single time you see each other—he always takes two to three minutes just to kiss you hello, abandoning the task at hand (dozing off, attending to Choji, managing the Shishitoren) to mosey your way and pull your lips to his in something just a little too sloppy to be sweet, but a little too sweet to be… too distasteful.
Everyone’s used to it by now, even Sakura, knowing that when you arrive, there’s always a going to be a pause in action just for the sappy display of Togame drooping over you and announcing you to the crowd physically.
(What’s not readily exposed, however, and especially not in a room full of men, is that it’s not just a kiss Togame’s giving you, not just a hello that he hides behind his long bangs and your cheeks between his warm hands, but the kindest stare and sweetest little whisper, “missed you, baby,” as he wraps you up in his arms.)
#togame#jo togame x reader#it’s not tongue but it’s def one of those really deep smooches#when he just needs to breath you in for like … 10 - 15 seconds lmfao#and then do that like 3 more times lmao#by the time it becomes a thing everyone is just like ‘Jesus curhrist’ and knows to turn away for it unless they wanna see pda#i don’t see togame as going overboard with pda but there’s definitely this#he’s got three things… no wait… four#greet kisses… holding hands… hugs… and he always wants to be the little spoon so u can scratch his back or his hair or play with him#while he’s doing something else#anyway I know you’re just the couple that’s always smiling at each other too#you get to the ori and wave and he’s just breaking out in a little grin and going right in to swoop you up#I’m gonna go bald I’m tearing my hair out#can’t believe I’m using a tag too jeez#caitie post#gen
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Warning y’all in advance that I might have reached the end of my Fluffvember stuff :( Simply because idk if I’ll have time to write/draw anything else, I’ma lll ou of queued stuff. But it seems like some are still utilizing the prompts, so I hope everyone continues to have fun with it <3
#Just found out that my family is celebrating actual thanksgiving on actual thanksgiving#Which like#never happens???#Usually we do thanksgiving with extended family who we don’t really like but have to do it with#But this year it’s different??#Kind of weird#Not sure how I feel about it#Also I’m doing Friendsgiving which I’ve NEVER done before so that’s really fun too#Point is I probably won’t have time#Alcohol is making me way too chatty I need to SLEEP dang it#I feel compelled to say this every time I mention that I’m drinking on this site lol but:#To all my lovelies who are minors:#I promise I’m not drunk and I don’t advise you to use alcohol to get to that point as it’s dumb and useless#I’m just buzzed lol because I need to remind my body that I need to SLEEP#Even tho it’s def not the best way to do it#I’m going to shut up now#Anyway good night lovelies :)#But on a different note BOO that I can’t write/draw anything for all the LoZ game birthdays this month T-T#It’s my bday month and I love sharing it with Twi and Sky and Time and even Legend#But I can’t write anything for them ugh#I think those are the Blorbo bday this month at least#I know for sure it’s Sky and Legend but idk if it’s Time or Twi or both
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Hi VampStel!
I do wanna say that I love your art style. I can see the improvement in all your work
I was gonna ask. Is there any brushes you use that’s not in the google doc? I’ve been using your brush pack for a while now and they’re lovely to use.
I actually learned what a blending brush was when I tried yours out I was so confused on that brush. I know it should’ve been a simple understanding of the task of the brush. But until I tried shading and blending in gradient for a space background I didn’t fully comprehend what it meant
Hihi!! I do use brushes that aren’t included in the Google Drive :P
It’s mostly just default brushes IbisPaint already has like these ones in the photo. I just slightly altered their spacing, size, name, etc.
You can scroll through their brushes to find these (minus the beads/pearls brush) but I’m including the QR codes down below just in case ^_^
Also!! Little tip maybe if you or anyone else wants to use the beads/pearls brush: If you want to change the size of the beads I highly suggest changing the Spacing of it in the brush settings (which can be found in the ‘Shape’ option) otherwise the spacing of the pearls will be different and separate pearls might overlap.
And if you want to change the thickness of the outline, you go to the ‘Type’ option in the brush settings and change the thickness via ‘Shadow Size’. You can also turn off the outline by changing the Brush Type to ‘Mono’. Hope that helps!! :3c
Also one last thing… Sometimes I experiment with other brushes when I’m going through art block or want to try something new. I’ll try to remember to share the QR codes whenever I do this. Either in videos or on here so things are easily accessible.
#꒰ v’s answered asks ꒱#I might just include these QR codes in the Google Drive too so things are organized and stuff#btw I’m very glad to hear my brush pack is nice to use ^^#I’ve personally been using my painting and blending brush for like… maybe a year or two now?#If comfort brushes are a thing then those two are def my comfort brushes LOL
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Tried a new art style and I guess will is gonna be my guinea pig from now on 🥹
#my art#dark rise#dark heir#will kempen#anyways I wasn’t gonna draw today bc my arm hurt but this random procreate tutorial popped up on my YouTube algorithm#I meant to just do a quick doodle to like try it out cuz I thought the technique she used was interesting#long story short I started coughing blood and my elbow cracks every time I move it#defs something I wanna practice tho I’m sure I can tweak it to something I like#also I’m sorry he looks like a kpop boy in this. it was not on purpose#everything I touch ends up looking like anime or kpop those are my only 2 modes#I wanna learn how to paint good!!!!! aaaaaaaaaah#debating if I should even post this but I spent like#3 hrs fucking around to make this LOL#so unfortunately yall will be forced to look at it
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“i don’t have enough space in my room for a big Leif bug fables sculpture”
foil skeleton for what will become big leif bug fables sculpture:
#he will be so awesome. eventually#not sure if this will go well actually lmao I haven’t had good luck with larger clay sculptures in the past#let alone ones where I use foil as a base. those tend to go terribly. but I will try#if it fails eh at least I got big metallic moth thing#bug fables#leif bug fables#tw bugs#< this is a bit freaky looking so I’ll tag that just in case#his wings are def gonna be a pain to make#more importantly though I’ll need somethin fluffy for his. neck. fluff. thing.#will have to scrounge around and see if I have something yellow and fuzzy#otherwise I’ll just make it out of clay but I think having some fluff on him would be nice#anyway i’m rambling
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hi. I’m still alive (mostly).
still moving stuff from one apartment to the next. It sucks. Everything is a mess. I hate stairs and, for some reason, boxes of books are very heavy.
now I get why they call these the dog days of summer, because this shit is ruff 😰
#I’m dyin here#I won’t but I have def thought about just wheeling everything out to the dumpster and starting over with nothing#which is a no go but ya know… it’s a nice thought#have to be officially out of the old place by the 1st and I just feel so overwhelmed#it’s the stairs. I hate them#I’m so used to a first floor apartment. you just unload your boxes onto a dolly and roll them inside. easy.#but having to carry/drag/whatever boxes of books and dressers up stairs is killing me#I hate stairs!#my therapist was suggesting I go get a gym membership to help buff up which is….#good idea in general ya know. exercise. good for body and mind. but that won’t help me THIS WEEK#so for right now I’m a soft weak and struggling to get situated#and I’ve just been feeling very melancholic lately. just week and sad and a big bummer#and tumblr still isn’t really hitting that spot ya know?#nothing really interesting on here for me lately 🫤#but anyway… okay… yeah… that’s my complaining for you. you’re welcome#I’m not going back to fix any of those spelling errors. y’all aren’t even reading this. blegh#I love you. goodbye forever.#you can ignore this#text
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I think if I ever met a system/anyone with DID, OSDD, etc I would never actually be able to tell… I have really bad memory for details about people so I wouldn’t really notice many if any discrepancies. I also can’t recognize personalities as anything concrete (unless it’s super obvious), two totally different alters could be out on the same day and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Worst I’d interpret would be a mood swing.
Especially since most systems’ alters mask as the host- some r better than others but usually the ones worse at masking aren’t out very often (to my knowledge)
#I’m doomed#I would love to meet a system and get to know the alters#but I know it’s super complicated and me getting excited over my psych spin might be interpreted as downplaying trauma or experiences#or worse commodifying alters#and I’d get overwhelmed. I can hardly survive having like 10 friends#how will I remember the names pronouns and personalities of a ton of alters who use the same body??????????#oh well open communication is key I guess#maybe autism and DID/OSDD don’t always mesh well#y’know like autistic inability to read cues and trauma response hyper vigilance and protectiveness…#the list goes on#I may or may not be vagueposting about someone irl who I suspect#I’m close w the alleged host so I hope it’d be fine#but they’re probably not to the level of OSDD or DID tho#just trauma related dissociation#I would hope at least I know some systems are happy and accepting of their plurality but being a system is traumatizing for many#ough#they said they were questioning if they were autistic too#didn’t give me those vibes but I honestly don’t know#traumatized autistic people mask like hell#I def don’t know everything abt them#I’d love to talk to them abt it tooooooo but they said they’re not ready to think abt it#idk I’ll text them to say they can bring it up with me whenever#I’m always happy to talk about autism with other people lol#especially people who are realizing it for themselves…….#I have been the source of at least 1 autistic revelation#whooo that was a lot of tags#anyway it’s 1:32 so goodnight#I’m glad I know about DID/OSDD tho because like what if I did meet an overt system#I bet lots of people interpret that as like schotzpphrenia or something#which is valid in its own right
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shri’iia developing her sunlight sensitivity after the tadpole disappears since the protection it gave (assuming that it’s also protecting them from external factors bc astarion is able to walk under the sun) disappears with it. and struggled to get used to the sunlight because she’s now more sensitive towards it…! everything is brighter, much more sharper - similar to when she crash landed and saw the sun for the first time but this time everything is much more vivid. and now she’s squinting a lot more because everything is bright to the point that it hurts her eyes, and she’s frowning more as well (to which astarion tells her to stop or else she’ll get more wrinkles 🙄) and she’s covered up from head to toe every time she goes outside bc I imagine she gets sun burnt quite easily too.
anyway I think at one point she decides to only go out when the sun is setting so it’s less painful for her - which also works for the both of them since astarion can’t go out under the sun as well lol
#have this hc that like a week after the tadpole is gone she passes out from over heating lmfao#like she just overestimated her tolerance for the sun not to mention that she prob heats up faster underneath her armour ..#so shri’iia post game now just wears leathers and cottons and airy clothing to keep herself nice and cool (:#which is a loss for me bc I love her in armor but I think she’ll def have a hard time adjusting to the surface w/o the tadpole’s protection#since she is STILL quite used to the underdark I mean I don’t think the game’s events lasted for too long anyway#and since she lived in the underdark all her life she still needs time to get used to things#but anyway . shri’iia passing out from heatstroke and astarion is like 🧍♀️‼️ bc she’s the healer out of the both of them lmfao#then he gets to learn how to take care of her 🤭😋🌝 at the expense of his gf passing out#I’ve been thinking up of post game hcs for them and I’m so 😳🌝 they’re are so weirdly domestic to me….#like I don’t think they’d be staying in one place but idk .. just get those vibes 😳#shut up about bg3.
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reminder GONKI IS MORE CANON 😤😏 so anytime some kg person tries to send hate at you remember it’s just cuz they’re big mad Gonki more canon eheheh 😘🤭
#IS WHY I WONT LET ANY LOSER GET ME DOWN 😤#I KNOW ITS JUST CUZ THEY ARE BIG MAD THE DIRECTOR CALLED KI WIFE AND KIS VA TAGS STUFF GONKI EHEHEH 😘🥰#Naturally sadly on the west side there’s wayyyy more kg people so I don’t mean alll of them obvi but please#on twitter- I mean x#I am like the sole person in the English gonkillu tag mostly#And these kg fans got big mad when there was dare an artist in there for a while who was popular and used gonki tag#LIKE HOW DARE THEY LOL#Losers got so mad over a tag that has hardly anything in it#SO DONT LET ANY OF THEM DRAG YOU DOWN#Most the time they’re hypocrites and losers#AND I WONT LET ANY OF THEM EVER STOP ME#🤧😤🥰#Honestly they’re free to hate it like I hate kg but the fact they go to bully an artist the moment they dare to use the gonki tag is not#Acceptable#That tag isn’t there for you#Its for us few#ANYWAY ILL ALWAYS STAND MY GROUND FOR THE GONKIS#And trust me this is no lie I’ve been harassed ive seen people leave that were gonkis I have even had friends!#open gonki people tell me they are scared to post#LIKE WHAT YOU WANNA BUT LEAVE US ALONE#And no none of them can use the excuse of “heteronormative” or whatever else they want to get away with bullying#ESP NOT WHEN THEY WILL TURN AROUND AND DO THE SAME TROPES WITH THEIR VER LOL do what you want but do not be a hypocrite to send threats#Its all fiction there’s no need to play purity police god will def let you up into heaven cuz you told me to kill myself for#Having Ki in a dress#NOT LOL! TOO BAD 😤 AND KI IS A PRETTY PRINCESS WHO DESERVES DRESSES 😤 PERIOD#I’m sure there’s been a few rotten gk people I don’t accept them as my kin either but from the few of us I do know#We’re never gone to the kg tags or go to those people’s posts and fics LIKE WHY WOULD I EVEN WANNA SEE STUFF I HATE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE#AND YES I HAVE TWO FOLLOWERS AND NO I HAVE NO ISSUE SPEAKING OUT ESP WHEN PEOPLE I KNOW GET HARASSED SPECIFICALLY BY A KG PERSON#I WILL GIVE US A PEP TALK 😤 ITS JUST CUZ THEY ARE BIG MAD YOU KEEP DOING YOU GONKI IS CANON 😤
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nano day 20-25
20- 1952
21- 771
22- 643
23&24- 0 (don’t look at meeee I didn’t have time lol)
25- 2233
Total word count: 32149, 25885 towards main wip (!!!)
I didn’t realize how many days had gone by without updating lol but it’s fine bc it’s not like anyone’s really keeping track
anyway it’s v apparent I’m not hitting the 50k BUT IT’S OKAY! I’ve made peace with it. It was p dumb of me to start the month going “I just wanna write as much as I can” bc obv I was setting myself up for disappointment. So if I’m able to reach just 30k on my main wip, I’ll be happy.
Also patting myself on the back for reaching +25k, I think the 30k will be v feasible with the remaining 5 days. That’s <1k a day!
Also finished the 12th scene! We’re over a third of the way through the project :D (which admittedly is around where I hit my typical story middle slump, but I’m hoping I can remain consistent after November)
#also abt the 50k. I posted a fic too so that’s worth celebrating#I’ve written a lot I’m def not discrediting that#plus those extra 20k words are gonna get written regardless just not within this month it’s fine#I’m expecting this project to be ~75-80k#so there’s gonna be plenty left to do after November anyway#scene 13 is a Big Emotional scene so I hope I don’t flub it up#but I’m excited for it I think it’ll be good. I’ve had ideas for this scene in particular for a while#so its crazy that I’m finally writing it#I def feel like this entire story has been a HOT mess so far#mostly bc these characters have been living in my head for so long that I keep forgetting the gradual progression of their development#I feel like I keep skipping significant moments in their growth bc I’m so used to how they’re /supposed/ to be#but it’s cool. I never expected a lot of this draft to be solid anyway but what matters is that it’s something to work with!!#also feel like it jumps around a lot. like the flow between scenes isn’t entirely clear#and that’s mostly bc I don’t wanna write scene connectors rn lol#but that’s always something I can grumble and groan about later#dahl does nano 23
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Y’all realize having an account on tumblr is giving tumblr money right? Logging in everyday and scrolling through posts gives them ad revenue, posting on their site boosts their SEO and brings in more users, talking about tumblr on other sites and platforms makes it more known and all of this serves to increase the theoretical ‘value’ of the site. I agree that we shouldn’t be giving tumblr our hard earned cash because they do suck, but let’s not get too holier-than-though because you’re still using this site everyday which in very direct terms ‘gives the site money’
#.txt#all the posts ON TUMBLR criticizing people for giving the site money#like I’m sorry but they’re all painfully ironic to me because they just… idk they’re so surface level#and fail to understand where tumblr draws its value from#like all it serves to do is give people a moral imperative it doesn’t even DO anything#how are you actually helping or changing anything by not giving tumblr money???#you can use tumblr it’s okay#you can even give them money it’s okay#yes the CEO is a shithead and there are def shitheads on the dev team#but like…. so does everything????#the modern corporation is too big and complex for your money to ‘go’ to a specific person#so if we’re really on the level of ‘bad people profit from this company so we need to boycott it’ then you gotta stop using basically#everything#you gotta make sure all your screws are sourced from local shops who only employ people who agree with you#it only bugs me so much because it takes away from real discussion that has real impact and is actionable#people might feel good by… saying they won’t give tumblr money#but I don’t really care? i use this site to talk to people and communicate news ABOUT PALESTINE#and so it’s like. even tho the site employs and is run by shitty people it can still be used to further goals those people don’t agree with#there’s nothing wrong with boycotts obviously but it really feels like these posts are much more to serve the mostly white western user base#who want to feel like they’re doing something for Gaza even though all they’re doing is… vent posting about their mutuals
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Essentially what it is all boiling down to is I have fully realized I am bad at being a person, that will always be true, and I don’t know how to handle that
#I’m going to be depressing and self depreciating in the tags so. fair warning to anyone who reads them#I’ve known for a while now that I don’t know what to do with my life. I’ve thought of a few ideas but none of them seem to be working. and I#think a good chunk of what it’s boiling down to is that I am quite literally just stupid when it comes to an actual useful real life skills.#and it’s frustrating because I can’t even talk to ppl I know and confide in them that I feel dumb and stupid without them being like ‘nooooo#don’t say that! you’re not stupid! you were top of your class in hs!’ (that is their favorite thing to fall back on) but like. the thing is#I wasn’t even smart in hs. sure I did good but that’s because I cheated my way through and got lucky a lot. I never actually learned anythin#I never understood what I was being taught or how to apply it. I was good at English and art classes and that was it those were the only one#I truly felt I knew what I was doing in and grasped the subject matter well. I know I’m good at those two things and smart when it comes to#those subjects. but the thing is. in real life. both of those are useless skills. I can’t make money with them and it is highly unlikely#that will ever change. and yes I know not being able to make money with it doesn’t mean it’s useless but like it kinda does. capitalism#sucks. I know that. we all do. but that doesn’t change that we live in a capitalist society and it’s unlikely to actual change in my lifetim#so I’m stuck to try and figure out how to live in it. but I have no skills I can make money with so I will live my entire life poor and#miserable and working dead end jobs that make me want to kill myself. I’m not good at socialization I’m so fucking bad at it so I can’t work#any kind of job that hinges on networking or sales or human interaction which is MOST JOBS but I’m also too stupid for anything related to#STEM. I tried two different stem degrees and flunked out of both of them because I am a FUCKING IDIOT and I know there’s no point in trying#to go back to school for another one. but no degree in anything I naturally have a knack for will help me find a decent well paying job. ill#just be wasting my money to go to school for something like that. and then like. I don’t even think I’ll ever get married and I def won’t#ever have kids. so I can’t even put any hopeful stock in just being happy with a family one day. I know a lot of ppl who don’t like their#careers but they’re fine with that because they’re happy with their family but like I don’t even have that and I won’t ever have that. I#have NOTHING to strive for and NOTHING I am good at that’s meaningful I’m going to fail at having a career and a family and I know that#doesn’t mean I won’t be happy in theory but by societal standards I am and always will be a fucking failure of a person and since I do live#in this society yeah. it’s kinda fucking true. and I don’t know what to do about that. I’m just tired. I’m tired of being afraid and#struggling and going through patches of wanting to kill myself because of this because like what’s the point. I’ll never have anything#better so what in the actual hell is the point of me existing. and I know I’m being ridiculous and my brain is eating itself and none of#this is probably even true but that doesn’t change that it FEELS like it is a lot of times and esp right now and I don’t know what to do#to anyone who reads this I’ll be fine tbh prob as soon as tomorrow like dw about it I just need to get it out so I stop stewing in it.#I’m just. yeah. not having a great time rn but I left work so I’m gonna cry and then maybe sleep for a bit and hope that helps#kaz rambles
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Genuinely, what deodorant do you use? I grow out like all my hair but not my pits because growing out my pits would mean finding a new deodorant and that sounds like a lot of money to possibly maybe find something that works. Sooo tell me. What deodorant do you use?
EXCELLENT question !! I’ve got like rly long armpit hair haha and I *rarely* trim it (if ever lol) so it has to be an antiperspirant !! I hate damp clumpy armpit hair more than anything and I’ll often get deodorant that’s way stronger than I rly need to keep from happening lmao
my personal favorites are:
- Secret’s Clinical Strength Antiperspirant in the clear gel lavender scent (this shit is NOT GOING ANYWHERE !! I’m so serious like I’ve fallen asleep wearing it before and woke up the next morning and it was still working just as well ??? 10/10 even if it’s expensive it’s so worth it)
- Old Spice Men’s Wilderness With Lavender antiperspirant (smells like HEAVEN and was my fave but unfortunately it ended up giving me a rash cause of whatever ingredient they use ((baking soda maybe ?)), but it’s amazing if your skin doesn’t have a problem with that kinda thing, AND it did a rly good job!!)
#I’ve tried the whole natural deodorant thing and I got horrible rashes every time so I’m def not gonna go for those#also if you’re using an antiperspirant esp if you have armpit hair then make sure ur exfoliating ur pits to keep ur folicals clear !
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Back to MultiTab for Tumblr until they fix this stupid button but I have a feeling it’s working exactly as intended since the toggle indicates dashboard specifically…
#I’m also on mastodon but there’s drama#otherwise I love the platform actually#tumblr meanwhile……#oh also MultiTab used to be like half the price it is now to remove its own ads#but after the Reddit and Twitter API stuff ruining those apps from MultiTab they upped the price on this one#it also doesn’t have an activity feed or messaging capabilities or easy ways to view post replies/comments so#pretty limited but def better for casual browsing since there isn’t that annoying af button
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how happy can you really be when you’re reading paragraphs upon paragraphs of people against your very existence whenever you log on is my question
#currently thinking about a tr@ns blogger i used to follow who’s now just like. an open tr@nsph0be#but is also still tr@ns themselves#who openly gleefully follows several t3rfs while seemingly being annoyed at other people thinking she is one#like i dunno. i’m not trying to overstep in any direction here but it seems like a crazy way to live#i also. struggle to believe a lot of the anecdotes you share about how offputting irl tr@ns people find you are all the way true#like you expect me to believe you sit around online with this rancid attitude toward other tr@ns people#but the only reason they’re put off by you is that you ‘don’t use weird pronouns’? there is def. something being misinterpreted or omitted#i never knew this person personally so i don’t know why i’m thinking so much ab this it’p just strikes me as depressing#even if they legitimately do seem happier than they used to in the most bizarre way possible. it feels kind of morbid to watch happen#i don’t think it really translates to them being correct about any of the shit they say#the thing about getting absurdly into giant @ce discourse blogs from back in the day is that all of those folks turned out to be lunatics
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