#And no none of them can use the excuse of “heteronormative” or whatever else they want to get away with bullying

[killuaisaprincess]

reminder GONKI IS MORE CANON 😤😏 so anytime some kg person tries to send hate at you remember it’s just cuz they’re big mad Gonki more canon eheheh 😘🤭

[aroaceconfessions]

Over the last, I don't know, two weeks? I've written a few confessions down and sent none of them in. They've felt like I've rambled too long, too ranty, or whatever. I always close out. And I've come to the conclusion that is okay. Sometimes you just need to write something down, say something out loud, for the mere reason to get it out of your system. Someone else seeing it may not matter. A lot of the time, I feel better better after some frustration of "not being brave enough" or however the internalized guilt-tripping goes despite being anon. This isn't really an aroace confession, but the majority I have tried to send have been on here. So if you need to whisper something to yourself, do it! If you want to, the whole point is not making yourself uncomfortable. idk.

Some of the confessions I've summarized, in case they relate to someone. I already got them out of my system and I now I just want to share: (this ask is still probably too long and unfocused, I'm sorry.)

Tag. Please. If you don't trust community labels and Tumblr taking down your blog, at least use something. That's just good marketing, right? So people can find what they like easily and people who aren't interested can not see it. (Tumblr, your algorithm is too young and drunk, how many iterations of "smut" do I need to have in my filtered tags and content for you to stop recommending them to me)

I think I'm projecting on a family in-law-to-be with how he described falling in love. I'm more worried that my excuse of "well they're not married and are older than me" will be gone in a few years.

Amatonormativity and heteronormativity are a pain. I should be able to talk to people without feeling like I'm leading them on. I should be able to post about platonic relationships without someone taking it the wrong way.

A happy one :). The one time I came out to a friend they accepted it. No having to awkwardly explain, no "you'll find someone ;)," no nonsense. It was nice.

[burnedbyshoto]

Can we get the same thing dealing with Uraraka and Momo? People hate on them soooo much and I dont see the reason why. Most of the time its just because they interrupt peoples fave ships, and Ive noticed a lot of the hate they get is from other girls. Like. Though a lot of quieter anime girls get a lot of shit from fandoms, mostly from the girls and with the idea of them interrupting whatever ship they like a lot.

I think... dealing with female characters is very hard in terms of shonen manga. especially for us western fans.

as always this is my opinion on how I see and interpret the manga and anime, you’re free to disagree and hate my interpretation!!!!

number one thing you need to know is that I don’t hate a single female character in bnha. i don’t. my least favorite female character is like... I don’t even know, I like them all really. but when it comes to hating on female characters in shonen manga it’s hard for me to find a true stance.

for us westerners I don’t think we’ll ever be satisfied with female empowerment within shonen unless we have more series like sailor moon honestly. to be honest i’m not well versed in anime and manga, I haven’t like watched more than 5 series and all of them have been popular and mainstream things, so they’re all pretty formulaic in the same way.

strongest male main protagonist, not as strong as main protagonist but can kick his ass still male protagonist, and the female protagonist that’s meant to serve as an equal but is sorely unequal to both her counterparts and will grow to be strong but not that strong but strong — can probably beat up the two protagonist in a playful way but never ever in a serious match.

all things considered from what i’ve seen females are plot devices for one arc and one arc only.

westerns — female fans specifically — want our female characters to be as badass as the men, to be able to go toe to toe, to be loud and obnoxious and still be loved, to be crusty and ugly villains and still be loved. from what I gather people just want female characters to be more than just love devices and hold their own weight and not cry.

we also have to take into consideration that bnha is literally designed for young boys — it is a shonen after all — and while it’s by means no excuse for lack of female character building, this series is meant for young boys to see themselves within these characters. and within our cis heteronormative world that does mean letting these young boys see themselves within these male characters. again, not an excuse, but an insight we do need to take into consideration.

now applying this to bnha we have our main female protagonists within uraraka and momo.

I think that they’re pretty well written all things considered. I know they’ll never be like winry or hawkeye in fma and that’s literally the only anime i’ve seen where the female characters were developed in their own field of expertise in strong ways.

uraraka has been made to be the love interest of izuku, there is no denying it, but I don’t think that’s her only character trait. she’s 16 years old going to a school that people dream of getting into, and is best friends with someone she admires. it’s without a doubt that feelings catch on, but izuku isn’t the one driving her to be a hero.

from episode what 5??? of the anime she states that she’s becoming a hero for her family. she’s becoming a hero so she can use her quirk to help her family and to rescue people. uraraka wants to be a rescue hero (and tbh people often forget that that’s what izuku wanted to be too). she learns a few fighting skills because she experienced first hand that her inability to fight is going to cost her big time. so she thinks “what would izuku do” once gets called out about it from aoyama and suddenly no one can shut up about it.

the entire sports festival battle against bakugou she fucking had him, tbh the fact that bakugou was able to clear the entire air of concrete chunks and only get a 5 second arm cramp is ass. bakugou always says quirks have a limit but that’s the only time we’ve seen him near a limit and it wasn’t even that impactful seeing that he was ready to roll again. but uraraka did THAT!!! she pushed bakugou to the point where she has been the first person to ever really put him at the brink. sure bakugou and izuku go at it many times leaving them bloodied and bruised, but never have they been like: “OMG MY QUIRK IS GONNA BE INEFFECTIVE NOW”

uraraka takes her initiative to do things, and hell if it really bugs you that she’s getting stronger because she wants to be like izuku idk what to tell you. she’s becoming a hero to help her family, and her getting a little side piece along the way isn’t a big deal to me as long as she doesn’t throw her entire life away to save izuku (which she hasn’t). uraraka is a self sufficient queen, she’s dirt poor and is thriving. she’s 16 years old with a crush, that’s not a big deal in my eyes.

now momo is ehhh idk how to explain it. okay, so like, I love momo. but I don’t see her becoming a fighting hero and that’s okay!!!! why do we have to have girls being able to one hit KO other heroes when it’s been made perfectly clear that not all heroes are alleyway boxers. momo is fucking smart, with the ability to create whatever the fuck she wants, sure she can pull gun after gun from her chest and mow down any villain who comes her way — but that’s not who she is. momo is a leader through and through. she is a take none give none, and battling isn’t her expertise but she’s still good at it. momo has scored first in every single UA exam validating her intelligence every time.

if momo becomes a hero similar to todobakudeku, which I severally wish she won’t because that’s not her, I know she’s not going to be the best. her quirk makes her have to be sneaky, smart, and faster thinking than anyone else on the field. I mean look at her fight with tokoyami, her inability to think fast cost her the match really.

to be honest I don’t know much hate on the girls because it’s so stupidly irrelevant to me that I just go “scroll!!!!!”

I do think costumes need to be redone, but like can we also remember that heroes are also superstars in a hero society so looking hot af for popularity is needed. these girls were also 15 years old when they decided on their costumes and idk about you but I would’ve picked a costume that made me look hot as hell!!!! if i’m going to be fighting for living, people best know that I am hot as fuck!!!! besides, these costumes weren’t meant to be fought in outside of training!!!! they should see how their costumes work, how to improve them!!! they have 3 years and even more changes outside of UA to make them the best!!!! uraraka didn’t want her suit to be skin tight, but because the support company took into mind appearance it became tight. momo doesn’t want her costume to be regularly destroyed through her quirk, so she wanted to basically be naked because she thought there was no way to save her clothes!!! I hope hori gives her the ability to make her costume from her hair like mirio did so that way it can phase through her outfit without tearing it into smithereens.

but we also have to remember that female characters don’t have to be like male characters. would I love a female character to be able to best all might, shiggy, todobakudeku??? yeah, what female wouldnt??? but then we’d all have problems with her not being realistic enough and yadda yadda yadda. females not being the best is okay in my eyes as long as they get the proper growth and attention.

undeniably momo and uraraka have been on the back burner but with how the manga is going there hasn’t really been time for them to be on the front, but maybe it’s coming??? idk. I just want another stupid school arc but noooooooooo people hate it when the kids are being kids!!!! why do you want them to suffer all the damn time jfc 😫😫😫

if you want girls to be as strong as the boys I say look at girls like ryuuku neijire mina and miruko, i’m positive these ladies will be your saving grace once japan figures out that mina is amazing and that it’s okay for girls to be on the front lines kicking ass too

[just-gay-thingz]

So I decided to write a text about homophobia at midnight and i decided to publish it here. Feel free to add your own thoughts in the notes or reblog it :) 

also im in no way homophobic. im gay myself and those are jsut the way i think about this topic.

I’m sorry for eventual grammar mistakes or spelling errors. English isnt my first language

Homophobia

There are a lot of people out there who are homophobic. Their reasons are it’s not normal or not natural, the bible says its wrong or just because they don’t like it when people don’t condone to the heteronormativity of society.

 Let’s start of with the argument, that homosexuality is not normal or natural. Homosexuality is common in in over 1.500 species and homosexual animals are very important in their communities. For example, if a straight couple isn’t able to take care of their child anymore because let’s say they died. No other straight couple will be able to take care of that child because they are to busy caring for their own children. This is where the gay animals come in. As it is not possible for them to get their own children, they are able to take in the orphaned child and take care of it. When it comes to homophobia though, it only exists in one species. In the Homosapiens. Humans have been oppressing homosexual people for hundreds of years. In most countries “conversion therapy” is still legal. “Conversion therapy” is when you send homosexual people, mostly teens who were sent by their parents, to camps where people, so called “therapists” even though they are many things but a therapist, torture them into being straight. Some methods for that are: making them watch straight porn, hit them/make them feel pain while they have to watch gay porn, so that they will associate that kind of porn with the trauma in the future. Another method is to give them medicine that makes them feel aroused (e.g. Viagra) and force them into having sex with someone from the opposite gender. They also try to pray away the gay, which I think gets explained by itself.

You often hear homophobic people say, “the bible says Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve” or “the bible says homosexuality is wrong” or “Homosexuality is a sin and you will go to hell for it.”. But I don’t think those people always act as it is written in the bible, because if you can’t just take one part of the bible and ignore the rest. As Jesus said: “the one without sin throw the first stone”. I don’t think those people even commit to the ten commandments. They probably already used “Jesus fu****g Christ” or “Jesus no” or other slurs including the name of God, when the second commandment is “you should not miss use the name of God”. Another example would be “You should keep the day of God holy” but I’m pretty sure not all of those Christians who use the bible as an excuse for homophobia go to church every Sunday or do nothing all Sunday long. “You should honor your mother and father” is another one of the commandments but I don’t think none of those people spent their whole live without ever speaking ill of their parents. The sixth commandment says “You should not break your marriage” but still 50% of the marriages end in divorce. Only about 77% of the world population are not Christian and obviously not all of them are married but it’s still unlikely that all those divorces are all from non-Christian people. “You shall not lie” or “You shall not steal” are commandments too and I don’t think there is a person out there who has never lied or stole something even if it was just a pen from a classmate or something like that. “You shall not desire someone else’s wife” but people still cheat and just because you are Christian doesn’t automatically make you a faithful person. “You shall not desire someone else’s stuff” but people still are jealous of others for having a better phone/car/house/etc. You have to remember those statements are only the ten commandments but if you say homosexuality is wrong because it is written in the bible. Then this means you support everything in the bible. This means you support that Babies are getting killed and women are getting raped. "See, the day of the Lord is coming — a cruel day, with wrath and fierce anger. . . . I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty. . . . Their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses will be looted and their wives violated." (Isaiah 13:9–16 NIV). This means you think it’s okay, that daughters are burned as an acceptable sacrifice for God, "And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord: 'If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in triumph from the Ammonites will be the Lord's, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.' . . . When Jephthah returned to his home in Mizpah, who should come out to meet him but his daughter, dancing to the sound of timbrels! . . . After the two months, she returned to her father, and he did to her as he had vowed." (Judges 11:30–39 NIV). This means you share everything you have with the people who don’t have that much, Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same. Luke 3:11 NIV. As you can see Christians often just pick the verses of the bible if they help them back up an inappropriate or offensive argument.

Good responses to homophobic sayings by Christians:

“Its Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve”-“It’s Homosapiens not Heterosapiens”

For the Bisexuals: If they tell you to just pick a side, tell them, Its Adam AND Eve not Adam OR Eve

“You will turn my children gay”-“No, I don’t think so. I Mean your Heterosexuality didn’t make me straight either”

Feel free to add your own statement in the comments.

 So I think that was enough with the Christians. Let’s get to Heteronormativity!

We all grow up thinking we are straight because society tells us there isn’t something else. That’s because of the almost nonexistent representation of LGBTQ+ people in the media and because it’s “normal” for a man and a woman to be together. It’s “normal” for a child to have a mum or dad. But if you don’t stick to these stereotypes, people will see you as a rebel and we always get told rebels aren’t good people and that we should always listen to our parents. But sometimes rebels are just what we need. Sometimes we just need to see that it’s okay to be different. That it’s okay for a boy to dress feminine. That it’s okay for someone to not want have sex. That it’s okay for someone to not feel comfortable with their Cis gender. That it’s okay for girls to like girls or for boys to like boys. And nobody should be able to tell you otherwise

  hope you enjoyed reading this and im sorry if it was shit, these are just my late night thoughts

[solange-lol]

abc, 123, baby you and me

SolangeloWeek Day 5 - Age Regression/Kidfic

Words: 2517

Special thanks to Val aka @jayjay-graceless and Annie aka @bookplush for those absolutely genius names within their robot child 

Read on Ao3

There wasn’t ever anything for Nico di Angelo to look forward to in sex ed, especially in a public high school. He supposed they should be lucky to get any sort of education at all, but the 40 minute period every day was just another reference to their heteronormative society. If they had to learn about every single type of birth control, it would be nice to at least cover some sort of protection for same-sex couples. It’s not even like his sexuality or his relationship with Will was a secret. 

 Even the ‘study games’ were cruel. One game involved them putting post-its on their back with words either relating to male or female genitalia, and they had to guess what it was using ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions. If it weren’t for Frank (bless him) choosing to savor his embarrassment and reminding him about it, Nico would have been walking around with ‘penis’ on his back for the rest of the day. (He still doesn’t think the rest of their friends forgive him for catching him before he walked out of the room). 

However, there was always one unit that everyone always looked forward to near the end of the year: their parenthood unit. After years of trying (and failing) to reign the disaster of using eggs or sacks of flour as their ‘children’, the school implanted actual robotic babies into the system specifically for this unit. Their final grade of the semester was determined along a week of taking care of the robotic baby, which would track whether or not they mishandled the baby in a way that would upset an actual living, breathing child. The catch is it would be done in partnerships.

The moment their teacher announced it, Nico looked right at Will, who wiggled his eyebrows. Nico gave Will a quick nod in response. He noticed for a second that Piper and Annabeth were eyeing him warily before looking at each other in a mutual agreement about something, but he chose to ignore it. Of course he was going to choose Will for this project. 

When their teacher finally called for their groups to get together, Will immediately moved to sit next to Nico. The two glanced around, seeing who else paired up. Some of them were obvious from known friendships, while others seemed to be a have-nobody-else-to-partner-with type situation. One of the most unfortunate situations was Frank Zhang, his sister’s boyfriend; Hazel was in the class under them, which left Frank to be paired with one of the Stoll brothers. Nico was lucky to be in a class with his boyfriend and a lot of his friends, otherwise, he probably would have ended up like that.

 Annabeth and Piper had paired together, which was a surprise to Nico as both of their boyfriends were in the class. However, judging by the harmless death glares and teasing, Jason and Percy seemed to have turned this entire assignment into a competition against the girls. Nico just rolled his eyes at them; the overly dramatic bromance between both groups was too much for him at times.

Next to him, Will was already chattering excitedly. 

“I’ve been coming up with names while she was talking,” he said, pulling a folder from his backpack. “I’m thinking something extravagant. Maybe Percival or Wulfric for a boy, and Celestia or Antoinette for a girl.” He glanced down the list again. “Oh! Wellington is also a good one! Or Febreeze-”

“We aren’t naming it,” Nico said, shutting the folder with a laugh. It was funny how everyone expected Nico to be more flamboyant as the fully gay one, but sometimes he felt like his bisexual boyfriend came right from playing Kurt Hummel in Glee.

Will pouted for a second before he continued. “My mom told me at the beginning of the year when we got the permission slip for this assignment that you would be able to stay whichever night to make it easier on us. Or I can stay at your house, whatever you want.” Nico just nodded along, a small smile forming on his face. Who knew a stupid sex ed assignment would be an excuse to spend all week with his boyfriend. 

Will left to get their robot baby from the teacher, and Annabeth immediately slid into his place.

“I don’t think you should do this project with Will,” she said. Nico’s head immediately snapped up from the sheet of instructions, eyes narrowing.

“Give me one good reason.”

“Oh, I’ll give you multiple reasons. Do you know how much strain a baby will put on a marriage, much less a regular relationship? Especially when you're in high school. And have you ever spent more than a weekend with Will? It says you’re supposed to try and take care of the baby together as much as possible. You don’t know how long you can stand him for. Your patience is already going to be strained enough.”

Nico’s eyes shifted, avoiding her stormy gray ones staring him down. “None of those are good reasons,” he mumbled.

Annabeth sighed, finally letting her arms drop to the desk rather than in their crossed position. “Look, there’s a reason I’m not even doing it with Percy, and we’ve been dating for nearly two years-”

“Isn’t this supposed to be, like, the true test though?” He cut her off. “See if we could actually handle being around each other every day, or if we would be good with children?” He wouldn’t ever admit it, not even to himself yet, but Nico could honestly see himself spending the rest of his life with Will. (It was too terrifying to think about so usually he chose not to.)

“What you and Will have is good, Nico, I’m not denying that,” she pushed. “I just don’t want it to be ruined. Not when you’ve gotten this far.”

Nico sighed. He hated that she had a point. If he had an existential crisis surrounding his relationship with Will in the next week, he was blaming it entirely on her.

“I think you’d have to kill him to not do this project with me,” he said, rolling his eyes in an attempt to shake off his hesitance. 

Before she could respond, Will came bounding back, and all the doubt Annabeth had planted in his mind was momentarily forgotten. Because even though it was obviously made out of plastic (and oh goodness, those eyes were terrifyingly empty) his heart melted a little bit at the sight of his boyfriend with a baby in his arms. 

“Go get back to your own kid,” Nico said, shoving her out of the chair. She gave him the stink eye before returning to Piper; their baby had already started emitting a robotic cry somehow. 

“Are you okay?” Will asked, and the gleeful tone in his voice before had disappeared. “Whatever she said to you seemed pretty upsetting.” 

Nico smiled, and thankfully it didn’t feel fake. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”

And just like that, regular old Will was back. “Great! Because I figured out the perfect name for her.” Nico raised an eyebrow at him, but he continued anyway. “Delphina Oregano Galavine,”

“Its initials are D-O-G. You named it Dog.” Nico stated.

“di Angelo-Solace,” Will added hastily.

“Nope, too late. I’m calling it Dog."

***

As it turns out, Dog (yes, Nico was seriously calling it that) wasn’t actually that difficult to take care of in school. They were given their babies that Friday morning and were required to take care of it up until Monday. All the teachers were aware of the project, so most of them went easy on their students. 

He says most, as his history teacher thought it would be hilarious to give presentations that day. Thankfully, Will had taken Dog to his class, so Nico was allowed to present in peace, while others had to try and rely on their friends or anyone around them to watch their baby. Nothing like trying to present on American history while a couple teenagers tried to frantically silence any robotic crying. 

It was the start of that weekend when the chaos of parenthood really started. Nico blames the whole thing on Will and his poor judgment, to be honest. 

They had a plan to meet up at Will’s house on Saturday after Nico got off of work. Instead, Will showed up at Nico’s work. With the baby. 

Will tried to play it off like he was just a casual shopper, browsing the aisles with a robotic baby in tow. Whatever effect it may have had on other shoppers, though, it did not have the same one on him. Nico’s cheeks were heating up as he approached his manager in the back.

“You have to kick him out,” Nico pleaded to Reyna. 

“Why? He’s not doing anything wrong,” she seemed unfazed by the whole situation.

Nico gaped at her. “He’s holding a robotic child.” 

“Your robotic child, might I remind you. And that’s not even the strangest thing we’ve seen here.” (That part was true; retail was wacky). “Besides, isn’t it like, kinda romantic that he came to visit you with your child?” 

Nico glared at her, but she glared right back before instructing him to get back to work. He took that as an invitation to go over to Will. “What the hell are you doing here?” Nico hissed at him.

Will jumped, nearly dropping the baby in his arms. Nico was so thankful he didn’t; they were lucky it was sleeping right now. The only thing worse than this current situation was if the baby was fussy right now. (Although, that could get Will kicked out, which wouldn’t be all that bad).

“Oh, hey Nico!” he smiled. “I got bored just lying around at home, and I think she did too.” He hoisted the baby higher up in his arm so he had a better grip around her. 

“But why did you bring it out in public?” 

Will’s brow furrowed. “What, did you just expect to hide away at home for an entire weekend?” 

“Yeah, kind of!” Nico gritted his teeth.

“Is that how you would treat a real child?”

“No, but-”

“So why would you treat this one any different?”

“Because that’s not a real child, Will!” He didn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it did, but Will looked more angry than sad.

“Are you embarrassed to be with me?” he asked flatly, and Nico felt his heart break a little bit. 

“No, I’m not embarrassed by you, Will. I could never be, even when you do something worth being embarrassed for. Nor would I be embarrassed to be with you with an actual child,” Will looked relieved at that, but Nico wasn’t finished. “I am embarrassed by that-” he pointed to the doll in Will’s arms. “-though. It freaks me out, and I think it’s freaking other people out.”

Will looked around like it was the first time he noticed that he was in a public setting with a robot baby in his arms. “Oh,” he said, glancing at a few confused shoppers as they passed. “I’ll just- I’m gonna go” he ducked his head as his cheeks heated up, and Nico felt bad for him.

“Hold on,” Nico grabbed his arm. “Just stay there for a second, I’m going to go ask Reyna for the rest of the afternoon off.”

***

If Nico remembered correctly, there was one benefit that came from being able to spend his weekend at Will’s house for this project. It was Sunday, though, and they had yet to take advantage of that benefit. 

Dog was sleeping in the corner on the weird makeshift-bed of pillows Will had put together on top of his dresser. Will’s actual dog, a golden retriever named Sunny (Will had named her when he was 5), had been taken by Naomi to a vet appointment. His half-sister, Kayla, was out shopping with friends, and his half-brother, Austin, was at work. Which meant Will and Nico were home alone. With no distractions.

Currently, they were sitting across from each other on Will’s bed, studying for their upcoming math test. Nico knew he probably needed to actually work on his study guide (he hardly paid any attention in math anyway, after their teacher made the mistake of letting him and Will sit next to each other, that class was entirely them goofing off in the back) but instead he leaned over and kissed Will on the cheek. Will looked up from the problem he was working on for a second and gave Nico a quick kiss, before taking Nico’s hand with his free one and going back to work.

That wasn’t working for Nico, though, so he yanked on his hand, pulling the Will toward him. Thankfully, Will complied, dropping the textbook and paper on his lap in favor of leaning down to kiss Nico. He ended up pulling Nico down on top of him, so they were laying back on his bed. 

Nico tore his lips away from Will’s and kissed along his jaw and down his neck as he pushed the flannel that Will was wearing off his shoulders. He sat up for a second, straddling Will’s hips as he tugged his shirt over his head as Will did the same with his own. He leaned back down, pressing his bare chest to Will’s as he went back to work on the skin around Will’s collarbone. 

Will’s eyes rolled back, fluttering before shutting completely as he gasped and sighed before pulling Nico back up to kiss him on the lips once again.

Nico was about to reach for Will’s jeans when a robotic cry echoed throughout the room, causing both boys to groan in annoyance

“I’m gonna turn off that stupid thing,” Nico mumbled into Will’s neck. 

“I wouldn’t argue with that.”

***

Nico and Will stood in front of a desk the next day, Dog laying quietly on top as their teacher clicked through her laptop

“Congrats, boys, you guys got an A-,” their teacher said before moving onto the next group. Will sighed in relief.

Immediately, he walked over to Piper and Annabeth’s table to gloat. “Suck it, Chase,” he grinned. “We were fantastic parents.”

“We still got a higher grade than you,” Annabeth pointed out. “But I have to say, I’m impressed. I don’t think I would have done that well with Percy. I guess you were right,” she sounded pained as she said it, and Nico gloated.

Walking back to his desk, Will was staring blankly at the baby. 

“I think I’m gonna miss her,” he said.

Nico considered it for a second. “I think I’m going to miss having an excuse to sleep over at your house.”

“Yeah, about that. Apparently, you left a very visible mark on my neck, and Lou Ellen and I do not have the same skin tone,” Will said, then asked: “So, when do you want kids?” 

Nico glared at him with no real anger behind his eyes, slapping him playfully on the arm. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, there.”

~~~

Thanks for reading! Taglist under cut (message me to be added/removed)

@internallyexplodingrainbows @aleclight-ofmylife-wood @unicornsgomooo @anxiouswinter @soulangelou @number-of-fucks-i-give-0 @underworldystuff @theeloquentsnake @solangelover@thefandomsaretakingover @internallyexplodingrainbows @hairasuntouchedaspartoftheamazon @motivatedcryptidtamer @emilyfairchild @wherethewildthingsare-nt @my-face-is-a-potato 

[theowlandthekey]

We Don’t Need Covens: In This Essay I Will...

I'm a big fan of Sarah Anne Lawless. I never got the opportunity to speak with her personally, but for those of you who've been around long enough, you likely know about her blog discussing traditional witchcraft and her shop. I often found her posts to be inspirational, providing a unique clarity on subjects that most books skip over. To this day her belladonna ointment is one of the few things that can make my wife's back spasms stop.

Unfortunately both her blog and her shop have closed up. All I can find are interviews with her. In a very broad sense, Lawless came out about abuse and manipulation within the pagan community. She named names and instead of addressing the problems and having an open discussion about it, she was harassed until she backed off.

It upset me at the time in a very distant sense. As I said I never knew her, but I admired her passion and the certainty with which she practiced her craft. Though it's now long after the fact, I finally think I have the ability to put my thoughts into words.

We don't need covens. We never did.

I've been practicing off and on for about fifteen years or so. I've played around with different methods of witchcraft, wicca, and pagan worship. I've been the member of a druid grove, a loose coven association, and even a few on-line groups that claim to do all their spell casting via chat. In the end, I've found them all to be much the same. They promise a great deal and frankly fall short of everything from education to community.

I'm likely going to upset quite a few people with this statement. That's fine. You shouldn't trust anybody who thinks they can tell you your business. But for what it's worth, take a moment to read this over. If something here strikes you as familiar, it might be time to consider another path.

IQuick Note: I know there is a lot of grey area as to what could be considered a witch. You have pagans, heathens, wiccans and the like. Some are comfortable being called witches while others are not. But the connotation changes depending upon each individuals definition. So let's look at witches as people who, for whatever reason, have decided to intentionally avoid Christianity in favor of practicing a personal path of self-realization and independence involving magic, spells, enchantments and the like.

Cult Mentality

First thing you ought to consider is the potential for manipulation and control that exists in any group. This is especially true whenever matters of religion and faith are concerned. It's a touchy subject, no doubt. People are particular about religious practices. For my part, I maintain that witchcraft isn't a religion or a faith. It's a craft. But that doesn't change the fact that people will use religion as a method for controlling others. Especially others who are hungry to fit in with a group that they feel represents them. For this very reason, I firmly believe that witches should avoid becoming a congregation of any kind. Too many of us think of witchcraft as a religion, and while you can play pretend all you like most of us were raised Christian and still have difficulty shaking off the mimicry of organized religion. Our power is in our independence and our ability to think for ourselves, and it becomes much more difficult to do this when you form yourselves into a coven.

Respect My Authority

On that note, you can't form a group without some kind of a hierarchy making itself apparent. I have a strong distaste for covens who create arbitrary titles. They're largely meaningless. You don't really need a high priestess or an archdruid to go around wearing robes with more trim than everybody else. It's just an excuse for someone to hold themselves higher and make decisions without consulting anyone. You'll often find that people who hold these kinds of titles become very upset when someone disagrees with them and find ways to flex their authority in a 'funny' or 'joking' way. Basically telling others that if you disagree with them then you don't need to be there. This comes off especially hard on people who may be new to the craft and are still seeking approval.

Calling Ourselves Out

As sexual abuse allegations are on the rise, we have a duty to be aware of people within our community who put others in danger. We have heard it said that 'while not all priests are abusers, abusers tend to gravitate towards positions of authority'. This is no less true just because those leaders are witches and not priests. You don't get a Free Pass. Covens and groves all seem to want that central authority figure to which they can turn to. We tend to protect them because these people act as a spokesperson for us as a whole. But this does not mean they should be protected if they behave reprehensibly! They are not above the law and if we really want to present ourselves as being different from Christians, we should take a stance of pushing out people who are abusers and manipulators.

But here's the thing. We seem to have this self-righteous indignation that comes with being witches and pagans. Any questioning or perceived threats, especially ones that come from outside the community, are deemed as being biased because of Christian society. While this isn't entirely untrue, it also has a problematic effect on us wearing a permanent set of rose-tinted glasses whenever we look at the pagan community and it's 'stars'. Instead of seeing them as human beings with flaws, we view them as celebrities. We avoid using critical thinking skills when someone in the community comes up against criticism and it can end up damaging our reputation as a whole.

Witch n’ Bitch

While this is one of the most obvious issues with modern witchcraft groups, it is far from the bottom of the cauldron. While many groups come together promising to provide resources for education, help learning rituals and practices, and open discussions, I find that very few of them ever deliver on these promises. I've joined more than a few witchcraft 'study groups' only to have them disband after a few sessions for one reason or another. Others have sessions which quickly get derailed from methods and history into a bitching session about over covens, daily drama, or the like. Instead of helping interested parties by providing resources and discussion, it basically becomes a witches tea party. Brooms are snatched.

Exclusion By Design

Something else I want to bring up is the exclusion by design if not by intention concept that plagues covens. I have seen this manifest in more ways then I can count. Most typically it crops up in the form of “you're not experienced enough in our particular tradition”. However, I've noticed a lot of problems with most pagan groups being painfully white. The excuse is that this makes sense because most witchcraft traditions are European. However, that doesn't seem to stop most witches from liberally grabbing whatever non-European cultural paraphernalia they feel fits their witchy aesthetic. The most notable victims being the American Indians, the Voodoo/Santeria practitioners, and Mexican folk beliefs. I've been told by several people that this isn't on purpose. It's just how it ended up. But when you have to triple check everybody on a Norse Heathen group chat to be sure none of them have any racist ideology there is an inherent problem with the community which is long overdue for exposure.

Queer Craft

I’d like to bring up the patriarchal and hetero-normative slant that is heavily enforced in modern witchcraft and neopaganism. I want to preface this by saying that when I think of a witch, I think of a woman who lives apart from societal norms. She is autonomous. She is self-aware. She is unruffled by others perceptions of her. This is what makes her a force to be reckoned with. Yet much of wicca and neopaganism strives to enforce a very heteronormative perception of a woman's role in society by establishing the narrative of the Maiden/Mother/Crone archetype. While there is beauty in each of these phases of life and there is nothing wrong with a woman finding power in them for herself, enforcing them as a role model for what a woman should be has dangerous implications. A woman must be a virgin, reproductive, or too old to bother with. And it should come as no surprise that concepts have no real male counterpart.

This becomes an even bigger problem as we look forward to a more inclusive world where we are learning to recognize a larger spectrum of gender and sexuality. Where does the Queer witch fit in with these very narrow perceptions of the divine within the self? The pagan community loves to talk about itself as an accepting and open community that embraces all sexualities openly. But that isn't very well reflected in its liturgy and conception. I don't think this gets discussed much because people have heralded the God/Goddess, Horned God/Earth Goddess format for so long that we take it for granted despite these perceptions being relatively modern ones. While there are some traditions which put emphasis on the Queer spectrum and embracing it as a source of power and self-realization, they are few and far between.

Psudo Ethics

The final thing I want to bring up is the irritating moral high-ground that people in the pagan community are so willing to put forth any time we are questioned about our beliefs. It is just as irritating if not more so than listening to Christians proselytize. The Wiccan Rede has held a position for a long time as a general set of standards for what witches and wiccans should consider before acting or casting spells. However, I'm pleasantly surprised to see more of a discussion happening on morality in witchcraft. We don't exist to turn the other cheek. While I'm not a believer in the 'strike first' policy, I am a believer in defending myself when attacked.

I see a lot of judgment happening in the wiccan community, especially now that witchery is in the forefront of social media. People poking their noses into how others practice and deciding to take it upon themselves to 'correct' how another practitioner does their work. I understand why some people want to pursue a more positive and affirming lifestyle through wiccan practices. There is nothing wrong with that. But I confess myself irritated when I'm chided by other witches for casting a curse or have a discussion with a demon. My prerogatives are not your moral imperative, nor are any other witches. So long as my actions are not directed against you, it isn't any of your business what I get up to.

In Conclusion

Ironically, one of the biggest issue with discussing if not resolving many of these issues is that we, as witches/pagans and the like, are NOT a unified group. We are a loose collective. We don't have one central figure who decides doctrine. We don't have any of those things that make for dogma. The fact that we can choose to act independently of one another is a big part of our power. It emboldens us to think for ourselves, question tradition, and seek out new methods and practices which are better suited to our needs. Witchcraft does not begin and end with the anathema and the chalice. We can choose to both acknowledge the gods without permitting them too much influence over our lives. We can dance naked under the full moon while enticing a demon or just make a hot cup of tea while we listen to the rain and meditate. All of this is within our grasp.

But before we can practice together, we have to learn how to function together. And right now I don't' see a great deal of that happening. I believe that by learning how to be ourselves first, by practicing as solitary and independent witches before seeing out a group, we can be more confident overall. After fifteen years of practicing, I can tell you truthfully that I haven't learned anything in a group that I couldn't have learned by studying and practicing on my own. Mostly because 90% of the groups out there read the same damned books I do and are more into repetitive ritual than anything else. I would have loved to work with someone like Sarah Anne Lawless, even just to attend a few workshops led by her. Until we can learn to be better individuals as witches first, I don't know if our community can be better together.

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Yesterday wo Uttate episode 2 was pretty good. This time we got a bit more insight into the character of Shinako, and real quick I wanna give a shout to KanaHana for her performance here, she’s got a much softer and more contemplative sound than I’ve heard from some of her other roles and she’s really good at it. I’ve not seen every KanaHana role obviously, she might do voices like this quite often, this is just a first for my ears so, props.

As for what we learn it’s just some backstory stuff to justify her hangups about dating Uozomi, namely that she liked this guy who died and she can’t move on, so she feels like she’s going in circles. Pretty standard, broad relatable issue, it also serves as an excuse to introduce the dead dude’s brother who seems to be into Shinako as well? Guy’s got main character energy, we’ve just not spent much time with him yet is all.

Now the main thing this episode does with all this new info is use it to sort of, justify a breakup of friendships between Uozomi and Shinako. This coming after the former’s been contemplating if a man and a woman can just be friends, especially if one of them loves somebody else. My personal opinion is that, yeah fuckin obviously a man and a woman can just be friends, and not to insert too much of myself into this but from personal experience a man and a woman can still be friends even if one loves the other while the other’s in a relationship. Moreover this idea is super heteronormative, though I don’t think that’s a problem since the cast and in fact most of humanity are all straight anyway. But none of that changes that it’s at least an interesting idea to explore in a story, and I mean this early in the story they’re not trying to suggest that either character even made a good decision by ending the friendship so there’s an avenue for development. We’ll see where it goes I suppose.

Best girl Haru’s presence in this episode feels somewhat minimal, she kinda just serves to give some contrast between the men and the women - Uozomi talking to the little brother while Haru and Shinako talk together about their stuff. More specific to Haru’s issues though is that she does obviously want to be with Uozomi, but not really as a compromise because he couldn’t get with Shinako, nor does she herself want to feel like she’s sneaking around Shinako, hence telling her all this. And so she sorta comes up with this competition, just to feel like everything played out fairly, that she could “win” in the game of love. And that comes across as, pretty immature, frankly, so maybe we’ll see that lead to some issues for her down the line idk. I do hope they do more to make Haru a sort of viable love interest in Uozomi’s eyes, cause I mean I fuckin love her she’s a total babe but I’m just the viewer, in universe there’s not much there for Uozomi, and his choices in romance would hold a bit more weight if his options had reasons to be options. We’ll see.

So far the show’s managed to remain interesting and not fuck up and fall into cliche tropes and genre trappings I hate to see, so that’s good. Moreover the visuals are still fucking movie quality so that’s good. Coolio. Also just seems like we’re not getting an OP for the show at any point, which hey I don’t mind, spend more time actually with the show rather than the same 90 second video each week, whatever. And uh, yeah that’s it.

[nightswithkookmin]

ineedavalidblogname asked:

If Jimin can sing WITH YOU with Sung Woon, why can’t vmin sing that Christmas song V made with vmin collab in mind… I don’t understand.

I know sis, homophobia makes no sense to me too. Not sure sure if it’s JM’s feminine voice they thought was gay or that V pouring his heart out to a man on a song threatened their heteronormative brain damage.

The fact they recommended another female artist in place of Jimin for Tae speaks a lot to the voice key or role Tae had in mind for Jimin on that song. I mean I don't think JM's voice and key in Friends is what he was gunning for.

Jimin has a really unique voice and range. Personally, he knocked off 5 of my top female artists with Serendipity and with With you there's none left on my list.

I see why Yoongi said he prefers JMs voice to any one else and why tae would sulk for not having that voice deliver the emotions and intentions to the song he wrote for them.

Jimin inspires a certain genius in unique artists. Tae is mad genius for whatever song he had in mind and whatever vision he had.

It's why Be has a special place in my heart. Especially when you pay close attention to the key they created and who was given what part. Sick and tired but I don't wanna mess up cos life goes on should have been our first warning. Park Jimin is a freaky talented human art on legs.

I heard that producer stutter when Tae threw him under the bus. Lmho.

That producer was short circuiting. His eyes was twitching, glistening with raw heated blue yellow homophobia while listening to the gay in Vs voice in that sound booth.

I’ll bet my left toe JM couldn’t sing it with V or Kook either cos their homophobic producers think it’s gay as fuck and they are so not wrong🤣

Meanwhile, you have seven boys singing lyrics like I’m taking over you, I still want you, your touch your touch I want that to each other.

And what the fuck gay shit is this?

GAY IN LIVE ACTION

Jin can kiss a male statue but V can’t sing about how he’s falling for Jimin how strange. HOW STRANGE. HMMM

Cats are strange. Producers are strange.

Wait what's that in their eyes? Hmmm

Homophobia, never mind.

Seven men can be gay but god forbid two people are actually gay. That’s where they draw the line.

The gay intolerance and dread behind the scenes is real.

Don’t care what they do I will still think of RM as a lesbian.

The idea that BTS are gay makes me feel good about myself. representation matters and I need my sexuality to be affirmed and validated by the group I love and stan by whatever means.

Rm is a lesbian.

Jungkook is a lesbian and the song Jimin just released is a gay anthem💅🏾

I agree. Jm’s new song is sweet. The more I listen to it the more I melt into something. It’s like tasting sugar with my brain and ears. It tingles everywhere and awakens passions I didn't know I had.

Jimin’s new song is sweet. His voice is like honey and milk. Pls stream his music and let's support him alright??

The producers at hybe hit their head when they fell out of the vagina. Forget them

Probably there's a no solo subunit rule at play here or something cos this shit is wildly homophobic in light of no tangible excuse.

But I mean if they doing solo projects it better be SOLO projects. Otherwise it becomes unnecessarily convoluted.

As the artists ‘manager the company would have to charge V or Jimin, negotiate a fee, take a cut or something for featuring another member in a solo project.

Who knows. The company threatens to sue anyone who uses the image or likeness in commercial manner without their consent.

But I'm sure if they were to do it for free or as an in house project then it would be allowed.

I kinda wondered about that a lot in the past especially with their solo IGs and so I found it interesting that they started posting eachother to their platforms.

Tae posts his friends, peers, and members but I'm yet to see someone like JM do same. Is it by contract or principle or preference?? We would know based on how they interact. It's why I raise a brow at the Tae Kook mixtape conspiracies. I mean we live to see. If it's possible we will see.

Under the new contract, I hope these men have taken back creative control and withheld so much of their artistic rights to not have to deal with crap situations like this going forward.

my thoughts are all over the place because I'm trying to multitask

[roundthatcorner]

“I said what I said, and it was wrong, or it was taken wrong, and now it's all this...”

BASICALLY.

So the furor, such as it is, that has resulted from a fairly innocuous post of mine seems to have taken on a bit of a life of its own, so I feel somewhat responsible and need to address certain things. A lot of what's been said seems frankly disconnected from anything I actually wrote, so I'm going to cover some but not all of the misconceptions – particular themes have been chosen because honestly some of the ideas I've been credited with are quite hurtful, to me personally and I think to a few other people.  I'm not 'at'-ing people because I'm not sure it would be at all fruitful or worthwhile to do so, and I'm not going to rebut things line-by-line because that seems more counterproductive than anything. My goal here is to hopefully dampen 'the controversy' (again, such as it is!) rather than inflame it.

On the one hand, I stand by the bulk of what I said – there's been some serious misinterpretations going around, some of which are genuinely baffling – but I can also see that my tone and my contextualization could have been improved. I do 'read' a little bratty or something in that post, which is something I should try to improve upon in the future. As for this post, I'm trying to essentially be the opposite of how I sounded there – be, like, very straightfoward and emotionally open and hopefully not stick my foot in it, or whatever. I'm basically a pathologically shy and conflict averse person, and totally just hoped that this would blow over, so all of this is way beyond my comfort zone. I hope people will see that this post is very much heartfelt, and imbue their reading of it with some generosity towards me and my intentions.

Anyways, the bulk of it, in which I pick out those misinterpretations that I would find it particularly upsetting to let stand as somehow representative of how I think:

a) Re John and being a fan: I love John. I can seriously count on one hand the number of people I love and admire more than John, and the subset under consideration for that isn't, like, 'famous people I like' or 'musicians', it's 'everybody who has ever existed.' I quite simply adore John and if I didn't I wouldn't expend the effort I do into trying to understand him. The implication that I can't possibly be a Beatles 'fan' (said in quotes, no less! Super disheartening), let alone a longtime fan is quite bizarre and insulting. I mean, I think there's a base presumption of 'grace' we should try to extend to other fans: none of us think any of them were or are irredeemable; we are all here because we love them; we all want to see them clearly and fairly. I am (clearly!) not some troll shouting 'John sux!' or whatever. It's not a mark of love for me or anyone to refuse to see John as he was – and by this I don't mean that not seeing John exactly as I do is a failure of anyone else, or deliberate, or that my interpretation is accurate, or whatever, just that FOR ME to limit my interpretation in order to 'keep' John sufficiently lovable or whatever would be silly. John was/is plenty lovable! I don't need to 'protect' myself from whatever dark places may have existed in his mind because I am entirely capable (as I think we all are) of loving him through that (not in spite of that, but THROUGH it, with empathy for him). I don't have to love or accept everything about John to love him – I don't have to love Yoko, or heroin, or Allen Klein, or stupid anti-Semitic cracks, or whatever (which is not to compare those things straightforwardly – obviously – but to make the point that it's okay to dislike things John liked!). We don't owe it to him as fans to make excuses for him; what we owe him is the same as what we owe any human being, which is just to try to understand where he's coming from. That's all that I was trying to do in my post – just delineate the thought processes he may have been having. I don't think I need to surround every discussion about John with 5 dozen caveats about his mental health issues or drug use simply because I have assumed that we all know these things and accept them as the (only) basis for further conversation (and actually I did reference both of those as clear sources of his behavior – I don't know that I can much more explicitly reference his suffering mental health than to say he was experiencing a break with reality). Furthermore, the idea that John's behavior during the final years of the Beatles was at least in part based on virulent paranoia directed at Paul as well as a desire to punish him is not something I came up with – it's a somewhat standard interpretation at this point. Even Paul (who also manages to love John while acknowledging his faults!) has admitted that John became very paranoid, jealous, neurotic, etc. Michael Gerber from Hey Dullblog once commented something like, to paraphrase, the hardest thing to accept as Beatles fans is that John broke up the Beatles and he did it willfully and deliberately...I don't know that that's THE hardest, but it's certainly up there. It's incredibly emotionally draining to consider the dynamics at work during the break-up, but I also think it's worthwhile to do so as honestly as we can, because we love them all so much and because they have so much to teach us, even when it's through this painful, agonizing shit.  

b) Re things assumed about me or what-have-you: It strikes me as really quite unfair to assume that because I've never discussed certain things on this blog (or in that specific post), that I don't understand or have never experienced them and am coming at them from a position of somewhat cruel disengagement or w/e. The title of the blog isn't 'Bisexuality, Mental Illness, Drug Addiction & Me', so I really didn't consider it under the purview and have generally refrained from inserting too much of 'myself' (or at least myself non-filtered through Beatles). I don't talk about feminism, or cats, or Mad Men or make-up or agile software development or robotic vacuums because despite my interest in all of them, that's not the intention of my tumblr. Nevertheless, some grotesque oversharing in hopes of re-assembling/salvaging some of what's been misconstrued:

- I am bisexual...too...like many people are. This gets back to the whole 'text doesn't always telegraph meaning particularly well', but the paragraph for which I was criticized for sounding like a Nat Geo narrator or w/e...as I was writing it I was actually getting quite emotional thinking of...John, like, maybe discovering his sexuality at 16, because that was the exact age where I was literally writing in my diary in cryptic little coded comments about being attracted to girls, and then blacking the comments out and tearing them out of the journal and ripping them up because I was SO fucking ashamed and scared and alone with all of it. Basically, I am not at all looking at this from the perspective of an outsider, let alone a heteronormative outsider.

- To be accused or w/e of not understanding or being unsympathetic to mental illness is more than a little ironically funny to me, because literally the reason I started this blog, writing fics, etc is because after over a decade on anti-depressants, I went off them about six months ago (lest this too be misconstrued, I am not advocating this (or un-advocating it), it simply is). My brain has therefore been 'allowed' to loop incessantly/unconstrainedly on the Beatles for the first time since I was fifteen – so mental illness is quite literally why I'm here! Funny stuff. I don't want or need or feel obliged to go into much more detail about this, so let it suffice to say that I have deep understanding and sympathy for mentally ill people, for John in particular, and I fully appreciate the impact of mental illness on a person's behavior, and any flippancy is, ah, semi-literally gallows humor.

- If I sound hardened or unsympathetic with regard to drug addictions...it's partially because I am on some level. I invite anyone who takes issue with this to go re-live their childhood with the trauma of multi-generational drug and alcohol abuse that I lived with, because I will guess that anyone who is less than saintly, as we all are, will end up just as jaded about it as I am, just from the inescapable daily grind of taking care of addicts. Sorry to sound fairly bitchy about this point, but...idk, man, it's always really really difficult to have people be like, “have you considered their feelings? Have you devoted enough of your life to ritually gutting yourself on the pyre of this or that person's addiction?” Like, yes? Sorry, all the mornings where I had to make sure my dad hadn't choked to death on his vomit before I got on the school bus have kind of drained my sympathy. Nonetheless, some of my favorite people are junkies...

c) Re Linda and Paul: I would never disrespect their relationship, and this is far and away the most upsetting thing to have people skew, because I admire what they were able to create and sustain SO much – it means so much to me in terms of what is possible even from the blackest fucking depths. Linda could have been another Francie, or Heather Mills, or Yoko, and GOSH, how much fucking poorer the world would have been, how much darker. Linda and his kids gave Paul something to live for, a whole second life after the center fell out of his first. They were actually able to make a happy life that was snatched from total chaos and despair – that's so incredible and awe-worthy to me. When I said that Paul chose Linda over dying, I was not putting down their relationship, or devaluing it or her (I think she is maybe the most admirable person in all of Beatle-dom), or anything even remotely like that. For me, there is no deeper compliment to give someone than to say that they chose to keep going when they could've died. I mean, compliment is not even the word for it, I honestly don't think I have the capacity to express this..but, like, this is soul-deep for me, the deepest, sincerest possible feeling. I derive enormous comfort and strength on literally a daily basis from the choice Paul made in the winter of 1970. Believe me when I say I would never denigrate Paul's experience or Linda's role in it or the love and commitment they showed each other.

d) Re interpretation versus facts:  There's some criticism based on me presenting my ideas as facts. I don't think I did this – I couched the thing repeatedly with 'conjecture' (in all caps!), 'my interpretation', 'I think', 'maybe' and 'may', 'a range of possibilities', 'possibly', 'presumably', 'might', etc. I was not presenting what I said as verifiable fact but as my evolving understanding of what may have happened. Besides...all of us are here because we think there was or could have been a romantic/sexual component to John & Paul's relationship. This is not something that is at all verifiable (and it even very often requires that we assume people are lying!). Practically everything we say is conjecture based on our very unorthodox interpretation of sometimes conflicting/contradictory/bewildering information, and I am no more (or less) guilty of presenting my ideas as fact than, I think, anyone here.

e) Re Yoko: I get the sense that this was the main initial point of disagreement in all of this, and the rest of it was kind of...throwing stuff and seeing what stuck (unfortunately some of it seems to have). This is actually the only intractable issue – it's not one based on misunderstanding or a failure on my part to be clear enough. I dislike Yoko exactly as much (or more!) as I conveyed in the original post, and I have good reason for it. Pretty much every day of my life I learn something about her or about the world, relationships, responsibility, children, how a person should treat others, etc, that makes her behavior that much more noxious, inexcusable, and reproachable. Once upon a time I was thirteen and believed wholeheartedly in the Ballad of John & Yoko narrative – but as an adult, I simply can't countenance it. If we were not talking about 'John and Yoko' but rather about 'Joe and Sally Schmoe', or my brother and his girlfriend, or the next case on the docket in the local family court, there would be no question that this was a profoundly unhealthy and damaging relationship. Like...are most love affairs as enormously, relentlessly destructive as theirs was? Is there anyone from John's pre-1968 life that was allowed to really remain a part of his life post-Yoko? What kind of healthy romantic relationship cuts a person off from everything else? Is 'all that I know is just what you tell me' anything other than a deeply disturbing sentiment? Some of this can be laid at John's feet but on the other hand his 25 year old secretary (as well as every other significant person in his life except for his parents and probably Mimi) was able to coax him into being a BETTER person, whereas he only seemed to become an unhealthier and more damaged person the longer he spent with Yoko (and the feminism thing...like, the most feminist thing he could have done would be sending Cynthia an additional $10,000 a month – 'look at the one you're with' or were with, after all). I can't say that Yoko didn't love John but I will say that she didn't love him well – based on the standards for human relationships and interaction that we are willing to apply to normal people. To quote John Dunbar (who is definitely a longtime John fan!), “If I had set out to destroy John Lennon, I could not have done any better than to introduce him to Yoko Ono.”

If anyone wants to talk any more about this, please message or ask me (I will likely not respond to asks in the interest of not encouraging divisiveness or whatever, but I do appreciate what I’ve been sent). I can't control what anyone posts, obviously, and there are maybe still sensitive and insightful things to be said about some of it, so go ahead if you feel the need. For my part I probably won't engage any further publicly, especially since it's been unhelpfully dug into the ground (over...and over...and over) and there's a certain amount of like...willful misconstruing that's going on that’s just not worth getting into.

And just because it came on shuffle, and because sometimes Paul is exactly what one needs him to be, I'll end by saying:

“Is it better to love than to give in to hate?

Yeah, we'd better take good care of each other,

 Avoid slipping back, off the straight and narrow”

:)