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#so I wish you well with all my heart
goldensunset · 7 months
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O you, who at the world's far-off end dwell,
I know your wish- it is my wish as well.
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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 10 months
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quotes from alex turner's favourite authors that make me want to put my face through a wall:
"although i have never been an actor in the strict sense of the word, i have nevertheless, in real life, always carried about with me a small folding theatre" - vladimir nabokov, despair
"there is a terrible emptiness in me, an indifference that hurts," - albert camus
"there is no trap so deadly as the trap you set for yourself" - raymond chandler
"at eight, he had once told his mother that he wanted to paint air" - vladimir nabokov
"no man ever understands quite his own artful dodges to escape from the grim shadow of self-knowledge" - joseph conrad
"everything i've ever let go of has claw marks on it" - david foster wallace
"we're all lonely for something we don't know we're lonely for. how else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody we've never even met?" - david foster wallace
"i turn over a new leaf every day, but the blots show through" - keith waterhouse
"the truth will set you free. but not until it's finished with you" - david foster wallace
"curiosity is insubordination in its purest form" - vladimir nabokov
"i'm me and nobody else; and whatever people think i am or say i am, that's what i'm not, because they don't know a bloody thing about me" - alan sillitoe
"we live as we dream; alone” - joseph conrad
"i liked, as i like still, to make words look self-conscious and foolish, to bind them by mock marriage of a pun, to turn them inside out, to come upon them unwares" - vladimir nabokov, despair
"whatever you get paid attention to for is never what you think is most important about yourself" - david foster wallace
"i continued to stir my tea long after it had done all it could with the milk” - vladimir nabokov, despair
"i remained too much inside my head and ended up losing my mind" - edgar allan poe
"all the information i have about myself is from forged documents" - vladimir nabokov, despair
"how odd i can have all this inside me and to you its just words" - david foster wallace
"you will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. you will never live if you're looking for the meaning of life" - albert camus
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cerise-on-top · 3 months
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Can I request the fluff alphabet for Nikolai or Soap? So happy to hear you’re doing well, always look forward to your writing!
Hey there! Of course you can! And thank you! Glad to hear you enjoy my writing!
Fluff Alphabet for Soap
A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
Soap definitely loves being out and about, so he’d love nothing more than to go outside with you and just do things there. It doesn’t even need to be anything terrific like hiking on top of a mountain, a walk in the park suffices for him as well. As long as he gets to spend time with you he’s all game. Though, beware: He will likely be touching you in some way the entire time. If it’s raining outside or the weather is bad otherwise then he’ll opt for cuddling on the bed or couch with you. He’s a touchy guy, the only time he’ll let up is when you need to use the bathroom. But even then he’ll whine to no end.
B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
He knows that he can’t be home for too long, so he definitely admires your patience with him. It takes quite a lot of it to date a soldier. Another thing he admires about you would be your loyalty and trust in him. He’s abroad for months at a time, but you don’t question his intentions, believing that he’ll stay with you. And that he will. Soap wouldn’t betray that trust. You don’t message him every time you’re being insecure about your relationship because there’s no need to be. Soap makes sure you feel loved and that you’re the only one.
C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
He’d go about it in the same way he’d prefer to be handled during tough times. He, too, can be a patient man and will listen to your every woe, should you want to tell him about it. Although he may not have the best advice for everything, he’ll certainly try. If you want your favorite dish, he’ll cook it for you. If you just want to cry on his shoulder, he’ll let you while he holds you.
If you’re having a panic attack then he’d try to calm you down immediately, getting you away from whatever might be causing you even more distress. He’s learned a thing or two about calming down, so he’d just talk to you, distracting you from it all until you feel better. This guy has plenty of stories to tell, funny ones too. He’ll calmly talk to you, trying to not have his accent be as thick as it usually may be either so you can understand him.
D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
He’s a more traditional man, so I can see him wanting to get married to you eventually. He dreams of the day he gets down on one knee, pulling out the little box with the ring in it and asking you the big question. Afterwards he’d love to have a dog with you. A rather big one as well, like a St. Bernard or a German Shepherd. Soap loves picturing the kind of future where his dog will lie on top of you while you try to get it off and complain to him about him taking pictures of it. He may love being a soldier, but he adores you and would do anything for you.
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
He believes himself to be more dominant than he actually is. Sure, he can take on the role of being the more dominant person among the two of you, but he will step back as well if he needs to, or wants to. When it comes to your well-being, though, that’s when he’ll get very aggressive. Someone sleazebag is flirting with you? Soap’s won against plenty of people, so this fucker will be no exception. However, he can appreciate a suggestion you have made as well and will follow directions. Sometimes he does like letting you take the reigns as well, though.
F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
It’s not very hard to annoy him, even if he can hold himself back usually. But when it all gets too much he’ll get a bit louder for a moment before going quiet. He’ll be passive aggressive the entire time, even if he won’t outright insult you. He knows when emotions are appropriate, so he can control them 80% of the time. Won’t insult you, won’t yell at you either, but he will hiss at you. Give him some time to cool down and think it all over and he’ll forgive and forget. If he’s in the wrong he’ll apologize, if you’re in the wrong he won’t forget as easily without an apology, but he’ll forgive.
G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
Yes, he’s very aware of what you’re doing for him. It’s not a given that someone as wonderful as you stays with him, even less so that you do what you do for him. He’s very grateful and will show such as well. Gives you chocolates and flowers, will take you on dates and outings, will do whatever he can to pay those favors back as well. He loves you and you should know that, so he will cling to you like a koala. Either that or he’ll help you with the chores when he’s not as tired anymore after deployment. Either way, you won’t be alone with doing the chores while he’s around.
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
There’s plenty of things he doesn’t tell you, actually. Sure, there are some confidential missions he can’t tell you about, so there’s always that. However, he still does have some pride, so he won’t always tell you when he’s in pain either. He can take it like a man, no need to bother you with that sort of thing. He’s also pretty good at hiding his injuries and how much pain he’s in, if it isn’t too overwhelming. But other than that he’s a pretty honest guy and will tell you just about anything. You deserve to know everything about him, but likewise he expects you to be honest and open with him as well. A relationship can only truly prosper with communication.
I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
I think you would likely be able to help him with calming down a bit and finding a purpose in life that wasn’t being a soldier. He’s always been an active guy with a knack for chemistry and weaponry, so he wanted to put that knowledge to good use. However, ever since he’s gotten with you he realized that not everything needs to be about work or war. He can definitely appreciate the smaller things with you, like receiving a flower crown from you. You make his life more worthwhile and he finally has something to look forward to that isn’t just work. He has someone to come home to, and that’s worth a lot in his eyes.
J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
It depends on the person stealing your attention. If it’s, say, Ghost, then he doesn’t mind as much since he knows Ghost has no ill intentions with you. But if it’s some random person then he definitely gets jealous if you spend too much time with them. Starts brooding and getting closer to you, wrapping an arm around you, maybe even kissing your cheek while he’s at it. If it was appropriate, he would growl at the person as well, trying to get them to go away. You’re his and no one else’s. Doesn’t apologize for his behavior either, if he’s jealous then he’s jealous, and that’s that. You’re more than welcome to act the same way with him as well, by the way.
K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
He’s not too bad at kissing. Soap has had a few high school sweethearts, so he’s definitely kissed before and takes it easy. He wasn’t particularly stressed out about your first kiss together either and just let it happen. Although he was being cheesy and asked you to close his eyes before he kissed you. It was a gentle kiss since he wasn’t too sure if you truly liked him the way he likes you and he didn’t want to make you too uncomfortable. But when you told him you felt the same way he quickly gave you another kiss.
L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
I don’t think he’d make too much of a fuss about it. He’d take you to a nice park on a nice day, maybe have a picnic with you and then casually ask you if you wanted to be a thing together. It’s not too bad if you say no, even if he’d be crushed, but he could just play it off and continue the picnic and be friends with you. Would love to watch the clouds go by while lying on the blanket with you. That’s also when he might confess to you.
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
Yes, he definitely wants to get married. He wants nothing more than to have a spouse to come home to. With you wearing an apron, asking him if he wants dinner, a bath or you first. It’s cliched, but he’d melt if you ever called him honey. I think he’d think his proposal through, though. It’s important to him, but he still wants the day to be fun, so he might take you to an amusement park and propose to you on the ferris wheel, sincerely hoping it stops while you’re on top and can view the entire city. The marriage would be sweet, he’d be even more doting on you. Would proudly introduce you as his spouse. 
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
Although they’d start out as a joke where he would mimic those embarrassingly sweet couples calling each other embarrassingly sweet things, he’d eventually take a liking to things such as pumpkin, pudding, or cutie pie. Naturally, there’s also things like babe and baby. If he can reference a stupid meme, he will. You’re also his silly little rabbit, no matter how much you dislike that nickname.
O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
It’s somewhat obvious to others. Soap is much more inclined to gravitate towards you and try to spend as much time with you as possible. He likely also won’t leave you alone unless you ask him to. He becomes much more chatty with you and brags about his accomplishments as well. Might even flex for you, even if it’s cringe. You need to realize how strong and awesome he is. Also does you a lot of favors, you don’t need to repay him. See? Isn’t he just the ideal guy? Isn’t he just so dateable?
P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
If it was up to him either one of you would be holding the other at any point in time. He’s not afraid to show the world you’re a thing, he will brag about you to everyone willing to listen. Even if he’s being called embarrassing, he’ll just keep on going. The world needs to know just how lovely you are, that you’re the best partner anyone could have ever asked for. Kisses you in public, hugs you in public, cuddles you in public. If you’re comfortable with it.
Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
He’s a very observant guy, so he’ll almost always know what’s up just by watching you for a bit. You’re happy? You’re sad? You’re mad? Don’t worry, he can pretty accurately gauge your emotional well-being just by watching you for a bit. Does what he needs to do to either cheer you up or keep you happy afterwards.
R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
He’s somewhere in the middle. While he may not be the most romantic person out there, he does dream of kissing you under the moonlight and dance with you then and there as well. When it comes to making you happy he’d do just about anything. You want a cat? You want some cuddles? You want him to kill that guy for you? Just ask for it, you’ll receive whatever you want, you’re his partner and therefore very important to him. He tries to get a bit more creative with what he gifts you and actively searches for things online. But usually he just settles for showing you Scotland. His country is important to him as well, so he hopes you can appreciate it as much as he appreciates you. He means well, he’s just very easily excited about it.
S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
Oh, definitely. It doesn’t matter what your goal may be, he’ll do what he can to help you achieve it. You wanna work out? He’ll go to the gym with you. You wanna get better mentally? He’s there, cheering you on every step of the way. You wanna be independent? He has connections, you’ll get your dream job and dream pay, don’t even worry about it. As long as you let him help you, he will. And even if you refuse his help he will somehow weasel himself in anyway and help you out, even if you won’t ever know about it.
T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
Although repetition can be a nice thing, he does prefer having something new every once in a while. Sometimes he wants to see another country with you, sometimes he wants to try new foods with you, sometimes he just wants to watch a new movie with you. It doesn’t always need to be the most exciting thing with you, even the small things suffice, but he needs something new. The same routine every time bores him to death and annoys him as well. Again, something small will suffice for some time, but then it’s definitely time for a vacation away from it all.
U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
He likes to think he knows you quite well by now. He can remember things very well too, so if you ever mention a fun fact about yourself, chances are he’ll remember it forever. If you ever want something, no matter how small it is, Soap will remember and you’ll get it eventually. He’s also an empathetic person. He sees you and feels what you’re feeling, at least to some degree. Probably not with the same intensity that you do, but he tries to understand you. 
V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
His relationship with you is very important to him, as important as his friendship with Ghost, Gaz and Price. The four of you are the most important people in his life, along with his family, and he’d do anything to keep you safe and happy. He does hope that you can get along with the other three as well, though.
W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
Has probably tried to serenade you before. His voice is by no means bad, but it’s his accent that makes you giggle. He does lay it on extra thick as well when singing I’m Gonna Be just to hear you laugh a bit. He mostly just sings to you to hear your giggles and see you smile, but he does like singing and whistling to himself when he’s alone.
X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
Yes. Soap loves nothing more than holding you close whenever he can, especially if you haven’t seen each other in months. When he’s tired you can be certain he’ll be all over you the entire time until he falls asleep. And even then he has an iron grip on you so you won’t escape him. He’s a human furnace as well, so while it may be pleasant in winter, it’s hell in summer. But that’s the worst part about him, he doesn’t mind being sweaty as long as he gets to cuddle you. He’s used to being sweaty anyway, he can just shower it off, but he needs to hold you or else he’ll combust.
Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
Whenever he can, he’ll text or call you. He knows it’s not always the time for such a thing, but he’ll do it anyway. Sometimes, he’ll call you just to hear your voice and fall asleep to it. He imagines himself doing all the domestic things to you he can’t do in the moment, it helps him fall asleep when his heart is aching for you yet again. Sometimes, when he’s just on base and not necessarily being deployed, he’ll steal a plushie from you and take it with him, cuddling it in your stead at night. It does help him sleep better.
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
Soap would literally kill and die for you. He has this sense of camaraderie to him, and that extends to you as well. He’d fight for you, he’d take a severe hit for you. Anything to make sure you’re alright . Soap is loyal to a fault, so even just someone looking at you the wrong way warrants a fight, in his eyes. You’d need to remind him that none of this is necessary, that you’ll be alright and then he’ll calm down. But don’t you ever think that this man won’t blow up entire buildings just to watch you smile. He’ll make his own explosives as well, if he needs to.
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aurosoulart · 1 year
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HEY GUYS I NEED YOUR HELP!!
ok so first off WE GOT INTO THE FINALIST ROUND FOR AWE'S FIGHT CLIMATE CHANGE CHALLENGE!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
we're in the running to win $100,000 to help us make digital objects into a realty for everyone. this is a huge deal. I am in a daze writing this and literally cannot articulate how major this is
we need people to watch our announcement video on Twitter multiple times to help more people see it! the twitter algorithm boosts things based on watch time, so just opening the link and letting the video run a couple times will be a HUGE help 🙏
VIDEO LINK IS HERE
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Figmin XR will never have a subscription based cost model, and ALL of the things shown above are FREE to download within the app right now.
when this technology becomes as ubiquitous as smartphones (and it WILL, possibly even sooner than we think), this is the future we want people to be able to look forward to... and the first step of getting to that future is proving that it's one people actually want.
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crabsnpersimmons · 4 months
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Y'ALL HAVE ME LIKE
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I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID
BUT Y'ALL HAVE BEEN SO SWEET
I'M SORRY IT'S TAKING ME SO LONG TO REPLY
I WANNA DRAW THINGS BACK
AND I WILL
after my exam tomorrow :')
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love-everlasting · 23 days
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I love my mutuals but Mickey got us feeling nostalgic and I’m really missing my old mutuals
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my favorite highly specific genre of simpsons episode is “moe szyslak accidentally quasi-adopts a highly weird and destructive but ultimately good-hearted, neglected kid and then at the end of the episode he has to face off against the springfield mafia and risk them all shooting him to protect the kid he quasi-adopted.” it isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice and all that
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goldentigerfestival · 13 days
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Part 4 of the Vesperia differences between JP and the dub!
Part 1.
Part 2.
Part 3.
(Other) GTF Favorites.
As a heads up, I had to piece several images here as "one" image to circumvent the image limit because I was not about to make a part five by the time I got toward the end LOL.
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For some reason the dub completely removed Alexei jokingly/sarcastically saying it makes his heart hurt (brings him down in this tl) how Estelle will come to her senses and see what she's done to her friends. As usual, the dub has a very weird habit of adding sentences where they never existed and completely removing sentences for no literally no reason.
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I feel that "set you free" can also have the implication of saving her alive (which the dub heavily seems to lean toward versus wording that really shows Yuri's resolve here, the latter of which fits right in with Flynn and Ioder's acceptance that he may have to kill her), so I included this one to go with the previous case of Flynn mentioning that Yuri's group was going to "save" Estelle. The original is more ambiguous about her possible survival, but the dub leans more into being ambiguous in a way that doesn't lean toward her dying.
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The dub changed this to nothing but literally "aye" so... do with that what you will.
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Another case of them randomly wiping out an entire sentence (the last one).
As with other cases, there are some slight changes I don't feel are worth mentioning and often tend to be just slight changes in word choice that ultimately mean close to the same thing. This is generally the case for most of the spirit gathering arc. The overall tl of this arc is pretty much accurate, just with some odd cases like the above.
I really don't wanna say like, it's because Flynn's not around for a chunk of the plot in arc 3, but uh... let's be honest, it's once again as soon as Flynn gets back into the picture that the tl starts to go haywire again - especially where Yuri is concerned. Like. Literally. As usual.
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In the dub, this was "but Duke isn't". Just putting this one here because I feel like this gives more of a sense how the characters are feeling about it, more than just him not working out in their favor.
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This one was calling Ba'ul "weak" in the dub, but here Yuri is just asking if he's that stubborn about changing his form to a spirit. Putting this here because I feel using "weak" is a lot more harsh and has negative connotations on it compared to a more ignorant "stubborn" before Yuri understands.
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Yuri mentions here that Duke seems to have thought a lot about what he's doing. In the dub, this was "he seems totally obsessed". Not sure what the reason for that change was.
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Raven makes this more of a question in the dub, but here is more of him realizing it and putting the pieces together, so I figured I'd include this one since it's a slight change in a character's perception of something.
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The first line was changed to "could you be any more worthless" (I guess because they thought the "boring" line was weird? idk lol). The second and third line got swapped for some reason, even though it does kind of change the general meaning behind what's being said.
Yuri says first that Sodia gave up, only to tell her she has no right to say it was all for Flynn (thus saying it's because of giving up). At least imo, in the dub it comes across as "you say it's for him but you gave up thus it's an excuse", versus "you have no right to say it's for him".
I'm trying not to say it again, y'all.
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Karol says that Yuri going off alone is a bad habit. The dub changed this to "you keep forgetting us", which I'm kind of confused by because he's not forgetting them and literally told them to get ready to go to Tarqaron. Not really sure why they'd change this line since like yeah, it is a bad habit of his lol.
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Another translation error in the dub, so this one's here for clarification. The dub says Astal "lost control", but Astal by this point is dead (and he never "lost control"). Judith also says in the dub that it made all the monsters gather here, rather than saying they've gone savage. It seems like they misunderstood something thinking Astal losing control brought all the monsters here, but obviously we know that can't be the case because Astal is dead.
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This was changed in the dub to "it's our turn to do Yuri a favor", when he's actually supposed to be teasing him, which Yuri directly replies to.
Still trying not to say it.
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Dub Karol sounds more like he's prepared to go in, but in the original audio, Karol sounds nervous about the hoard they're about to have to get involved with. Raven's line was changed to Flynn looking like he needs help and not that so much that he's cornered, and the original audio has him sounding more urgent about it. Minor changes here, but tonally I think they impact the scene differently (and definitely give more of a "this is really fuckin' dangerous" vibe in the original audio).
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Another slight change and not an important one, but figured I'd include this since it has a slightly different meaning/vibe to it.
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Including this just for Yuri's little laugh when he shows up (I love him! A Yuri Lowell!) and Flynn's shocked response. More tonal in change, but definitely worth a listen and will be linked below with Flynn's laugh!
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This can also be translated as "it's simple/it will be simple", because it's "me and you" doing it. Imo this makes it more clear he's referring to just them (i.e. the upcoming fight) and not the entire group, but Yuri also specifically specifies "you and me", so it's much more clear that he's referring only to them (which I think, also given Yuri's levity in this situation despite the danger, shows how much they've completely come back from and recovered from the Nordopolica/Alexei stuff). Shoutout to Yuri deciding this on the spot and totally not even planning it though.
Again, there are some wording choice changes littered around, but nothing really significant (when I say small things, I mean things like Rita saying it's reckless for just the two of them to deal with this, versus the dub using "are you stupid?!". It basically changes nothing even if it is technically a difference, but I usually skip things like that because these posts would be even longer for changes that don't have a large impact).
As for the Yuri-Flynn-Repede battle, there were some... choice dialogue changes here.
Firstly, Yuri actually tells Flynn to be careful (rare carefulness from him, especially in regard to someone he knows can handle fighting).
Second, Flynn telling him not to worry was removed entirely.
Third, (this one is more difficult for me to completely discern because of the lack of text) Flynn mentions (you too, i.e. you be careful too) if Yuri keeps looking over (at him), that he won't be able to run to save Yuri fast enough (i.e. he'll get into trouble if he keeps staring at him).
Fourth, the dub changed Yuri saying he's just captivated by how handsome/good looking Flynn is (and I shit you not if Judith said that to Yuri people would call it flirting so yes, I am going to tell you that the dub censored men flirting here). The original wording used is "ii otoko", i.e. good/nice looking man, which in translation could come across a bit awkwardly and would be more likely to officially be translated to "handsome"... if they weren't so spooked at the idea of it and had to wipe it for "the great Flynn Scifo" which is not actually what was said. Personally I'd say "nice looking man" has a very specific ring to it versus handsome, but again, obviously that might sound a bit odd in translation without really specific wording (as in, it's possible to be used in a way that doesn't sound awkward but the wording leading up to it would probably have to be changed a little, or some words simply added in to make it flow more native-sounding).
Fifth, Flynn said it's not the time to be making jokes (the dub changed this to just "sh-shut up!").
Sixth, the goofy, playful tone Yuri carries when he says "I am being serious" was changed (very typical of the dub at this point though to remove his playfulness and I'm literally saying that objectively). Similarly, his following line's tone was also changed.
Seventh, "so we're kind of stuck". Yuri says he can't concentrate without talking, then ends (the battle conversation) with a following sentence of "it can't be helped!".
This could be translated in a few ways just to make it more clear what he's referring to (because a plain ol' "it can't be helped" is a bit too vague here), but you could translate that to something like "guess we can't help it", yadda yadda. My guess is that's where "we're kind of stuck" came from, but given the blatant trajectory change of the entire conversation, I'm not surprised I'm left feeling like the meaning of that line is just weird (primarily because he says that and the conversation abruptly ends, so they're not very stuck if Flynn won that one!) Something like "guess we can't help it/that's just how we are" etc imo would have done the job for translating that.
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Flynn just sounds so, so happy and soft and my heart is full. Same dialogue in the dub, but the original audio was (imo much?) more lighthearted and so sweet and soft.
Made a clip of both their laughs because they're adorable and I love them.
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No idea why the dub actually dropped her giving Yuri a whole ass honorific. Yeah, you can't always use JP suffixes in a dubbed game, but you can translate some of them to the closest thing they mean. Sodia here calls him "Yuri-...dono...", so rather than just dropping his last name in her accusatory tone, she calls him by only his first name and attaches a respectful term to his name.
Technically "dono" would mean "lord" or "master" in a non nobility manner, and is more of a formality than if she were to use, say, -san, which would have her referring to him as more of a regular/casual equal (-san is a suffix that often gets lost in translation, whereas dono can actually be roughly translated like it is here from this translator. Someone of her rank would still refer to others even equal to her rank as "sir" in translation, while people who use "dono" may also still use that term for people of their rank. Remember, at this point she's the second in command to the Commandant himself, so that's an awfully high bar for Yuri to have jumped in her eyes). Sodia has realized his actions have been just and honest and that she was very wrong about him, so as an indicator that she's changing her stance on him, she refers to him this way instead.
Basically, coming from someone of her rank, it's a very respectful term and is not used casually/in a casual relationship, much less to someone one dislikes or even hates (which she previously did, so this by itself is a massive step up in her view of him just from her suffix usage alone).
Honestly a huge shame that they didn't even translate this to "sir" in the dub when there was no reason not to. Just using that alone would have indicated a much higher level of respect from her toward him, and unfortunately that open respect is completely lost to dub only players (she only expresses her guilt, whereas in the original, just by using "dono" alone, she's indicated respect and not just guilt. In a way you could even argue that she's approaching him, someone she gives her respect to now, for advice and not just out of guilt alone).
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In the dub this is only "it would have been easier if you'd blame me for this..." Here she's admitting she wants some form of punishment by way of saying she didn't receive it (which she could have from Yuri himself if he told Flynn what she did), but if she can't even have that, she at least would rather be hated. Basically, she's saying she wants to be hated if she can't at least be punished for her crime (and I believe you could also translate this to wishing she could be hated if she wasn't blamed for it, so basically they removed half the statement).
Also, in general, Sodia sounds very distraught.
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Here Yuri admits he does have a grudge against her (you could translate this to something like "it's not like I don't hold a grudge against you"). The dub changed this to "don't think I'm doing this for your own good". Basically the dub is having him say he's making her live with her regret without mentioning that yes, he does in fact have a grudge against her for what she did.
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The translation here is essentially the same (think about it for yourself. The dub just uses "go figure it out yourself").
The important part here comes in the form of how he refers to her. This is something he's done since he survived her stabbing him - not using a neutral form of "you" but instead openly using a rude form (in JP there are several ways of referring to oneself and others, similar to how Flynn alternates between boku and watashi when referring to himself).
In other words, Yuri is openly expressing disdain for her by using "teme". At this point he's been using it for a little while now (he also talks to her this way back in Nor at the inn as well), but since here it's with very other little dialogue and also because she just recently referred to him as "Yuri-dono", I think it's a perfect time to point it out, as they've openly, verbally switched how they treat each other.
Sodia, wracked with guilt and left unresolved, has a newfound respect for Yuri after their interaction at Nor (and presumably everything he's done for Flynn). Yuri, still angry at her for what she did and holding a grudge (a fact lost in the dub that he mentions in this scene as mentioned above, adding to this role reversal), now openly chastises her and expresses his contempt by changing how he refers to her.
NEXT!
Not gonna put a picture here for it, but when Rita asks Witcher where his notes are, she gets super excited and it's just cute and funny.
Also not putting a picture here for this one, but Flynn sounds extremely relaxed/calm/casual in JP when he asks if Yuri is all set/ready to talk. Something worth noting is that even at this point, the dub keeps Flynn sounding very uptight and serious where he otherwise is relaxed, calm or even emotional. I get the feeling the dub kind of missed the mark with Flynn's soft gentle side. I don't know how or why, but it's more absent in the dub where he's otherwise much more soft.
Similarly, not pictured because this isn't about the translation, Flynn trying to convince Yuri to tell everyone what he's done is given in a more angry-upset tone, versus the original's (super!) soft and sad tone. Again, I think they had a different perception of Flynn in mind when it comes to audio (particularly in arc 3 here because the other arcs are... again, their own whole can of worms), because here he's speaking sadly that Yuri won't take credit, whereas in the dub it's more energy-fueled and comes off much harsher. I have a video clip of that scene here. I felt like mentioning it here because overall Flynn can be extremely soft and gentle in tone and it got lost in the dub for whatever the reason was.
Still on that train of thought, while the translation itself is still pretty accurate, Flynn says "I'll just yell at you again" but in JP says that he'll just say unnecessary words. Earlier, in the dub Yuri asks why he's so serious when he doesn't actually mention that he's being serious in the original (because honestly, he wasn't. He was very calm when they set out). In this case it's not really negative (the way Yuri yelling at people in the dub is portrayed negatively on their end), it's just... a change that I can only guess they had the wrong idea about with him? Previously the changes with Flynn were treating him negatively, but here it's more just... a notable but narratively generally neutral tone difference.
Not making a clip just for this unless it's requested, but when Yuri wins the solo fight against Flynn, in the original, Yuri says it with actual shock but awareness/clarity that it actually happened (with a sort of underlying excited vibe to it). In the dub Yuri says it with more of a laugh and disbelief.
As for this point onward, since the subbed playthrough ended before this point, I'll be using another playthrough for images, though I'll be translating them here instead since they won't be pre-translated.
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Sliiightly different vibe here so I figured I'd include it (doesn't really change anything): Here Flynn says "Even with a sword... I lost." The reason I'm including it is because "I can't even win with a sword anymore" makes it sound like Flynn has been losing again and again to Yuri in various ways when it's always been the opposite. Using a sword has always been one of his highest selling points, so to lose in that area comes across more as, even with my best asset I still lost to you.
Yuri's line is more like, "(laughs) Take a good look."
Running out of images I can use for this post here but I really don't want to make another part at this point in the game, but Flynn's following line is more along the lines of "be proud of yourself" (literally "raise your arms (in victory/pride)"), to which Yuri says the same thing in both versions (Flynn's dub line is "you've gotten better"). Including this because "you've gotten better" to me isn't really the same as telling Yuri to be proud of himself for the victory (something he'd never been able to do before). Since the dub came across as much more casual, I figured I'd add this part here too.
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During Flynn and Patty's conversation, Flynn says "it's true there is no end to my worries." In the dub this was, "I have no want for trouble". This was probably a mix up of terms/intended meaning honestly, because Patty was basically saying he has a lot of burdens for being so young. It's not about trouble so much as he just has a lot on his mind and a lot to worry about in his current position.
Flynn proceeds to say he's made up his mind, basically saying he's made up his mind to accept those worries. In the dub, he says he's prepared to face it (the troubles), versus that he's made up his mind in accepting these new worries.
Patty's response is "made up your mind?" In the dub it's just "is that right?"
Flynn continues by saying in the end he'll have to worry a lot (more literally with all his might, so basically he'll be experiencing a whole lot of worries in the future) and that it will be a tough road, but he won't run away anymore.
I'm not sure why the dub used "path full of pain" since that sounds a lot more dramatic than "it will be a tough road". I imagine yeah, there will be pain in the future, but full of pain just sounds a bit... much? The dub also removed "anymore" from "won't run away anymore". Not sure what the idea behind that was.
Patty follows up saying it's admirable but that's no good, which the dub changed to a fish pun.
I'd also like to mention at this point, Flynn has completely dropped his use of "watashi" in favor of "boku" (he uses boku normally, but typically switched to watashi for formality/his status as a knight, which indicates he no longer feels the need to do this around Yuri's friends, and possibly does not feel the same level of distance he used to. At the very least it means he's allowing himself to be more of himself/more familiar and not viewing his position as a knight so formally).
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Here Flynn says "thinking together, worrying together, and then one day realizing the world we dreamed of". Adding this since Flynn in the dub says "if we all work through our troubles together". It's kind of the same thing and kind of not, since in the original Flynn isn't mentioning "troubles" between anyone - simply the idea of everyone doing this together (the rest is basically the same in the dub).
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Another change I'm not sure what it was for, but Ioder never mentions the Entelexeia specifically. He says this (what he's about to say) concerns the empire, guilds and everyone who lives in the world (which would include the Entelexeia by default, but literally everyone else too, which is the point because he's about to tell them about the blastia to start making plans). The dub never mentions about this affecting everyone in the world despite that being the whole reason he wants to talk to everyone about this.
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Yuri calls Duke an "ignorant fool" here, rather than a "stubborn bastard", which I'm including because "ignorant" and "stubborn" aren't the same thing. Yes, Duke is stubborn about it, but in Yuri's eyes he's also being very ignorant of everything they're trying to tell him.
Not grabbing an image for this, but at the end of the game when Yuri is talking to Duke right after the battle, he's completely out of breath before and when he starts talking (the first line). Just a very nice touch!
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In the dub Duke says Eluficer's wish was simply to protect the world and all living things. Here Duke says his wish is to protect the world and all living things with a good heart.
Also don't want to use an image here because of the image limit per post (especially because it's already tight even with me putting what images I can into "one" image as it is), but Yuri says "yeah, let's do it" (including the others), versus "I'm on it" in the dub at Flynn's prompting. Not a big change, but he does treat it as the whole group doing it together, which I find to be a nice touch for his character development.
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Patty actually says "it- it stopped?!" The dub goofed and wrote "it's- it's over?!". The power of the blastia wasn't enough and its power was weakening.
Estelle says "No way, after we've come this far!". The dub changed this for some reason to "but how? There isn't any more!" in response to Rita instead of leaving it as it was.
Judith says "Please!" The dub used "It's gotta work!"
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Flynn says "It's not over yet!" For some reason the dub used "This can't be how it ends!", which... idk, I feel like original Flynn has much more faith in it LOL.
Yuri says "Is it no good...?" Dub Yuri says "Dammit... come on!"
For the most part the rest is the same.
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Adding this in because the old cutscene in the 360 version had to get changed to accommodate where Flynn was. Somewhat different than what we see with the other characters, you can see the power shoot out and push Flynn back as if it was grabbing the blastia itself, and you can see it pulled away from him (with everyone else we just see the blastia head toward the rest!).
Aside from that, Flynn says "you are my pride, dear friend" (the dub changed this to "I am so proud to call you my friend, Yuri Lowell").
The voice acting took me out with the happiness portrayed in Flynn's voice. (For just the Flynn part of the ending, I have a clip of that too, unsurprisingly.)
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Personal ending notes:
To sum it up briefly: I personally see a strong inserted bias put into the localization instead of just keeping things the way they were (i.e. changing context/character behavior to fit their bias despite that not being what the original context was, and inserting this into an official release). I say this because there are times when the translation is basically perfect, but there are very specific characters and instances where this suddenly changes, and unfortunately, there's a repetitive pattern that to me reads as intentional. Otherwise, I see no need for that to continuously happen only when select characters are involved.
As for the not so short version, y'all might be wondering why I mention things like it seems like they changed Yuri and berated Flynn so much on purpose. This is because the translation of this game sometimes can be astoundingly spot on. Perfect in some cases, even. There are times when the largest difference is just the wording itself and is simply given flavor, or uses a variety of wording so that sentences don't sound repetitive.
Yet when it comes to those two (individually but also between the two of them), the context quickly devolves into being either completely changed, the tones used are completely changed, and/or there's a slight alteration in the text that ends up giving a very particular notion that was not otherwise there (ex. "like a good knight" was added into Flynn's dialogue in a situation where he's being berated and yelled at, and it completely comes across as putting Flynn down the entire way through the conversation, versus him coming around and taking responsibility and that being accepted. In the original he simply mentions following his orders as a knight. There's no attempt to sound like the narrative itself is trying to insult him or bring him down).
I made these posts precisely because a heavy majority of the changed context involved them, and a lot of it either portrays Flynn in a negative light for the vast majority of the game which was not originally present, or it made Yuri come across as a much darker, scarier, "cool" type, which is a pretty stark contrast to his original personality/behavior.
Other things:
Yuri:
A lot of his lines come out neutral/flat, and that got even worse, like a hundred times worse, in his new DE lines. Yuri is pretty peppy in JP, and as a reference I would say his victory quotes are a big indicator of the personality shift ("cool" guy versus "silly" guy would be a big one for me). Other than that, Yuri is more silly and almost childish, sometimes even pretty pouty, and it shows blatantly right in his voice. He's also extremely not threatening to people who are not his enemy (liiike threatening Ioder with a real weapon with a serious voice).
I think the easiest way to explain this from my own perspective is that I adore JP Yuri completely. Dub Yuri I often find myself wanting to punch in the face for how he treats Flynn, Ioder and the one time, Leblanc. He lacks compassion in the dub where he otherwise does have it (even if it's not him being rude vocally/tonally, the dub dropped a load of emotional nuance in his voice). He's not a rough, overly cool edgy man (I hate people saying Yuri is an edgelord because damn if that ain't the farthest thing from the truth in JP, but it also shows how much they really leaned into that trope in the dub if people actually walked out of the game feeling that way about Yuri). He's a silly, goofy, caring man who is very gentle with people when they need a boost. That doesn't mean he doesn't have his "scary" dark moments, but the dub obviously leaned super far into it - enough that they would change Yuri mentioning punching someone to outright threatening to use a weapon against an unarmed man who is actually being quite polite.
Basically, he has a range of emotions and he has a lot of emotional intelligence. As one example, when he sees Karol down and sad when they first meet, he changes his tone to a combination of how you'd talk to a child with that child-y tone (he does this at the base of Halure's tree when he's asking Karol how to heal the tree), but then sometimes he shifts to actual gentle and soft to let Karol know he's there for him (when he's heading out to the woods to find the eggbear).
Ultimately, my point is that they took a perfectly well rounded character and changed him to, what? Fit their own bias/agenda/whatever? Because I can't look at both Yuris and be like "same person". I've never wanted to punch JP Yuri in the face. Only hugs here. What I'm saying is that I came out of both versions with two very different opinions on Yuri.
Next, Flynn (and Ioder and Leblanc).
Starting with Flynn, I get a very strong mindset of anti government shoved into the dub with these characters (i.e. not just the unnamed bad people in the government and the few named bad ones, but also directed toward the good ones, making it a more black and white approach). The dub makes Yuri out to be aggressive toward Flynn on the spot when they see each other again despite that in the original audio, he's not at all actually upset. He understands why Flynn is upset and that he's stressed out with his current mission. And no, the whole "Flynn swung a sword at him!" doesn't work here. Yuri knows Flynn. Very, very well. He reeeeally was not mad about that... especially if, you know, his tone in JP was anything to go by during and after. Flynn was the more upset one between the two, and Yuri remains calm - again, indicating his emotional intelligence and, most likely as it's not directly said, determining that being worked up about it would only cause Flynn more aggravation/stress. Thus, he doesn't press any buttons and remains calm. It makes his smile to Flynn later at Torim make that much more sense.
The thing is, I get the impression the dub wanted us rooting for Yuri and cheering for him digging into Flynn, when that was literally not the point of their interactions. We're not supposed to always blindly follow Yuri. Sometimes he is right, but sometimes Flynn is right. Like. That's it. That's the game. Not everything is simple or black and white. There's nuance.
That and/or like, someone in the loc team really hated Flynn. Based on everything, I'm... not against believing that at this point. Basically, the dub portrays Flynn in a negative light at most (arguably all) possible opportunities around every turn, even though the context/tone for that did not originally exist, until it couldn't anymore (i.e. he was past his character arc).
Ioder and Leblanc.
Ioder never does anything except keep Yuri in the loop, tell him important information and be genuinely happy to see him. There was never any vitriol between them. The way dub Yuri gives him an attitude just comes out of nowhere. Their relationship is pretty casual, which is pretty meaningful given that Ioder is on track to be on the emperor and Yuri is, plain and simple, a commoner. One who rescued Ioder, yes, but if Ioder was a "typical" noble in this game, he might have just brushed that off as "to be expected", even if Yuri didn't know he was saving a noble at first. Point being, Ioder is nothing but pleasant toward Yuri. Yuri has no reason to be rude, much less threaten him.
At Baction, JP Yuri is understanding that Leblanc needs to grieve and is in disbelief. He doesn't know if Leblanc will try to stop them, but he does offer his condolences with the tone of his voice, i.e. again: emotional intelligence. Something they changed in the dub to be nothing but rudeness and anger. Yuri made a statement to him at that moment, i.e. not to get in their way (mind you, again, he's polite about it given the situation), but not without understanding in his tone, which is a very common aspect of Yuri in his entirety. His wording (in general, not strictly with this specific scene) comes out rough and lacks politeness, but that's made up for in how he speaks to people (either relaxed, casual, gentle, etc).
In other words, the dub pretty much always slaps a point of view bias against these characters and uses Yuri as their proxy for it. Yuri, normally, in the original context, just treats them as human beings with ebb and flow in all of their emotions and situations. Things aren't black and white - humans are complex - and that is not the point of view that I feel we're given by way of dub Yuri. We're given a man who is constantly using anger in his voice toward imperial figures even when it's completely unwarranted, and even when he knows the people in question.
Other Stuff:
Assorted things are different mainly because of the acting, but Raven's goofiness got toned way down and Karol screams much... quieter, I guess you could say. They're both more lively in general though than how they were in the dub, so that's a plus from me too.
Rita is significantly softer with Estelle in JP, and she also is much more noticeably devastated about Raven's "death" and more panicked for Karol at Zopheir. I do love Michelle Ruff's portrayal and don't know that I truly have a preference, but I think a lot of Rita's emotional barrier breaking is truly expressed more in JP.
You know I gotta bring it up: Yuri and Flynn's relationship was kind of a mess in the dub. It gives the impression of Yuri being angry a lot more often than he ever actually is, and gives off the impression that we're supposed to dislike Flynn more than we're supposed to like him. Flynn isn't someone we're supposed to actively dislike, but the portrayal of him as expressed through dub Yuri does not come off as "we're supposed to like or root for this guy", when they're much closer than that in JP.
So yeah. The bulk of this is that Yuri is just not the same person to me between versions. Also, Vesperia has way more content in Japan (drama CDs galore frankly, and Yuri is still insanely popular in Japan and is thus a frequent character alt release in the gacha games and so has tons of voice lines and general story content, there's new merch of him every year because they make merch for the characters that have their voice actors showing up to TalesFes, etc).
There's much more ease in seeing JP Yuri's personality through all of it. I think it may be more difficult for people who don't understand Japanese or any Japanese at all, and that's such a shame to me because all those people get otherwise, without anyone posting about JP Yuri, is this... weird shell of Yuri that I sometimes even hesitate to call a shell because he just feels completely different to me.
Anyway uh I love Yuri (and Flynn) and that was the point of all this, but uh... if you made it this far thank you bunches and I hope people who maybe didn't like Yuri and/or Flynn who only knew the dub will change their perspectives. 🙇‍♀️
#GTF JP Vesperia Stuff#Yuri Lowell#you know... one of the best ways to express Yuri's differences is that I could never imagine dub Yuri's voice#coming out of Yuri's mouth with all the official artwork he gets in JP LOL#he's like. the most feminine nearly dainty motherfucker out of any of the guys (except like. Jay. who he's on par with LOL)#Japan out here putting bows+ribbons in his hair calling him Yuri hime in an anni skit and putting him in a dress in a drama CD and my god#but yeah regardless in the game the differences are... so much. SO so so so much vocal difference ESPECIALLY#there's just. a lot. and I feel like the dub did a MASSIVE disservice to Yuri as a character/as a person#similarly I'd say the same thing happened to Flynn with them doing a MASSIVE disservice to him in the same way#a LOT of Flynn's softness was flattened imo just... not as badly as everything about Yuri#JP Yuri is SUUUPER expressive in his tone and it's such an immersive experience#but also it like breaks my heart seeing how some ppl portray Yuri in the western fandom#esp with Flynn bc it's so so different from the JP fandom. and like again#it's bc the dub has Yuri being REALLY mean and rude to Flynn SO SO often#and he just sounds so bitchy so often when he's not supposed to at all!#there's so much to love abt JP Yuri and he's just... my silly little guy and I love him sm#and honestly my main problem isn't even with the character they made him out to be in the dub so much as#it's the fact that they changed him at all but also that they changed him and flattened him#like... I don't hate the character himself I hate what they did to create him bc it was at the cost of. well. -gestures-#I just think that JP Yuri is a significantly better character and it's a shame I think that at all bc#they shouldn't feel like two different characters at all but they do#I hope if you read this far that you'll give JP Yuri a chance bc he is SO precious and JP Flynn is ALSO SO precious#I wish I wasn't so upset abt what the dub did bc it'd make my life easier LOL#but I love my boys too much so... here we are I guess lol
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caramelmochacrow · 4 months
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yukaeso harumichi cosplay yayyy <333
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littledreamling · 2 years
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Something that's been rotating in my mind like pastas in a microwave lately is : how does Hob's brain, and particularly his memory, works with his elongated life ?
this is prompted by one of your latest reblogs regarding Hob's memory, the fact that's you're actually a student of science, and because I'm pretty sure you wrote or reblogged material for an AU in which Hob became a neurosurgeon instead of a History professor in modern days, which leads him to study people suffering of the sleepy sickness, which in turns leads him to Dream's identity, or something, but I cannot find it again on your blog and maybe I'm mistaken and this sounds completely out of the blue, apologies
Because, correct me if I'm mistaken but our brains aren't fully developed until ~30 years old, which is why it's easier to learn during this period of our lives. But then it retains a considerable plasticity and we may reprogram entire neural pathways for purpose they weren't initially generated to fulfill still (like when someone goes blind and they develop extremely acute hearing or sense of touch because the part of their brain previously alloted to vision has been reprogrammed for hearing/touch instead). Right ?
Which means Hob's brain and memory is functioning just as fine as any 33 years-old's, since he is sparred the decay of his grey cells. But also ... Hob's brain, and memory is, ultimately, finite. There's only so much grey matter his skull can hold !!
He has probably started establishing sorts of "well-memorising" rituals at one point in his life, to make sure not to forget certain precious memories ... and it's probably a non-negligible reason why he got into History too !! He gets to make a living out of churning and reflecting on the past and keeping it vivid.
But there are also parts of his brain, memories and skills that necessarily get overwritten by new memories and skills ? And of course, our brains aren't like hard drives, entire sections of his memory wouldn't suddenly be wiped out. Some memories and skills would simply wither away at the outskirt of his brain, rustying until they get vacuumed into oblivion ... but what do I know about how amnesia work ?? I'm just a Japanese undergraduate and a librarian who writes !!
But combining that with a warped sense of time passing ... Hob used to be excellent on horseback. Of course, he's ridden more horses than any rider throughout his life as a soldat and a bandit, and later as a knight. Sure his title was honorary, and he was no longer a warrior then, but one didn't carve out a niche in England's nobility for themselves, let alone hosted the Queen, without virtosity in horseback fox-hunting.
Then time passes, centuries come and go, and it's been a small eternity since Hob last rode a horse. And he misses it, but he's a busy man, and one does business much more easily inside of a coach than on a horse's back. Plus it's fine, riding a horse is like riding a bike, one simply doesn't forget how to once they've learnt it. Speaking of which, bikes are fantastic !! Such elaborate mechanic would have looked like witchcraft to actually-33-years-old-Hob and yet, it's one about anyone can afford in these days and age ...
Before he realises, centuries have passed without riding a horse. And then Hob finds himself invited to monitor a Renaissance Fair as an historian, and there is jousting on the program, and he somehow finds himself arguing with the knight-wanabees over the inaccuracy of their horses' harnessing, and all they can respond is that historically-accurate harnessing wouldn't be safe for them to ride with, and Hob finds himself oddly riled up by this, and he might not say it, but he thinks loud that "Ah ! Back in my days, people didn't need all of that frill, because we knew how to ride horses," as he climbs on one, intending on demonstrating the ease of today's riders ... and almost breaks his arm in his fall upon a few steps from his mount.
Hob Gadling might know how to ride a bike nowadays, but no longer a horse ...
Uh I might have wandered off a bit here, but my point is, for all the enthusiasm Hob carry with him throughout his immortality, an abundance of oblivion for an abundance of novelty and experiences is a price of which payment he cannot escape.
And that is quite dampening ... but I had to inflict this upon you because I want to hear your thoughts on it Ꮚ•ꈊ•Ꮚ
I’m actually screaming and crying about this, you have no idea. I’m going to try to keep this short because I have about four projects due tomorrow so I can’t devote an hour to pouring my heart and soul into this ask like I want to but this is actually making me go feral!!
First and foremost, I should say that… we don’t really know how memory works in the first place, even in regular humans. I mean yeah, we understand that memories go to short term and then get transported to long term, and there’s a whole lot that goes into that, but it’s kind of a squiggly, imprecise method (and I’m sure there are others who could offer far more insight than me, and I’d love to hear it!) so comparing Hob’s memory to ours is a little difficult, to say the least. But let’s for the moment, assume that his memory works the same way: he can only hold so much information in his brain. You’re absolutely correct about the brain’s plasticity and the fact that Hob would’ve been given his immortality pretty much at the height of his brain’s functioning power (as long as you subscribe to the headcanon that he was ~30-35 at the time of his and Dream’s first meeting) so yeah, he’d have a pretty good memory! But like you said, not infinite. He’s only human, after all, and this is where I blacked out and my angst brain took off in leaps and bounds (sorry @levi1088 for spamming you out of the blue and also making you sad, I’m about to do it again) because thinking about Hob’s memory, about what he’s lived through and lost and forgotten will always make me feel like my ribs are being ripped from my chest, so I’m going to endeavor to make you feel the same way because I’m evil like that
I can’t even begin to fathom all of the things Hob has forgotten over the centuries. Names, places, skills, scents. He always told himself that he’d never forget the sound of a blade being unsheathed or the gasp of air that a man makes when his lungs have been punctured, but he eventually does. When he watches period war movies, he criticizes the sound effects, claiming inaccuracy, but he also can’t remember what it really sounded like, only that it didn’t sound like that. He told himself he’d never forget his sisters’ names, but he forgot them long before he learned his letters (working at a printing press doesn’t necessarily mean he knew the words he was printing, especially because the majority of what he would’ve printed would’ve been in Latin, not English) and with no records, their very existence has disappeared into smoke and grave dirt. Can you imagine the moment when he realized he couldn’t remember his mother’s face? Or Eleanor’s? Or Robyn’s? When he realized he could no longer remember the scent of his childhood home or the sound of his father’s laugh?
His memory isn’t any better than ours! And I’d like to comfort you (and myself) by saying that Dream could conjure up those things in the Dreaming, but he can only draw from memory; once Hob no longer remembers it, it’s gone forever. AND THEN!! The warping of memories!! Every time you remember something, it gets rewritten in your mind, so even if Hob remembered every detail about his life (which we’ve already established that he doesn’t), he probably only thinks he does, because those early memories have been warped beyond belief. And he can’t go back and check because his parents were nobodies, his siblings all died in the plague, his friends died in war. None of them got portraits painted of them, none of them could afford the paper to keep diaries or sketchbooks. There’s absolutely no record of his childhood or home town or family or friends; he’s well and truly the only one left and god, doesn’t that just kill you?
But then (because I’m an incurable optimist and as much as I love angst, I love happy endings too) there’s always a silver lining. Hob is immortal. He’s lost everything. Every single item, every possession, every name, every single person except for one has been lost. He’s had six hundred years to come to terms with the fact that he will inevitably lose everything he currently has and that has to be okay. It has to be, because what other option does he have? He can’t be sentimental with objects because the constant sense of temporariness of every aspect of his life would drive him insane. Delirium would probably take up permanent residence at his flat if he constantly worried about everything he had lost over the course of his long life.
And I have to believe that this applies for memories, too. Hob strikes me as the type to let those kind of things roll off his shoulders like water. There’s nothing he can do about it, so why bother worrying about it? He lives his entire life in a completely transitory state; his memories are the least of his concern (as someone with pretty severe memory problems, this is a mindset that I have been forced to adopt because I, too, would drive myself absolutely insane trying to remember everything I had forgotten. If it’s important, it’ll come back to me, and if it doesn’t, someone will remind me. If neither of those happen, it’s usually none of my concern and 99% of the time, it never comes up again). And like, yeah, it sucks that he can’t remember his mother or his friends or his house, and he mourned those losses when they happened, but he’s constantly replacing those memories with new ones. He’s so invested and intrigued with the world around him and he’s always gaining new experiences; his memories come and go like the tides and he no longer gets upset at the loss of them, or at least, he no longer holds onto that mourning for longer than the emotion warrants; he grieves their absence and then he moves on.
Additionally, his memory might be finite, but the life lessons he’s learned and carried from one lifetime to the next are not. He doesn’t have to remember where he learned how to pick pockets to remember that he knows how to do it, if that makes sense. Some things transcend memory.
This might be a convoluted analogy, but I like to think of memory as a window looking into anroom with a timeline on the opposite wall. Wach person has a window to look through and they can only see the section of the timeline that corresponds to their life. The window can never get bigger, not for anyone. You can only hold a lifetime’s worth of memories. And the same goes for Hob; his window doesn’t stretch or expand any larger than anyone else’s, but it moves when no one else’s does. His window has the ability to slide along the wall, constantly replacing the memories that disappear from view with new ones. We’re all stuck with the lifetime we have, with the memories that we can create in the 70-90 years that we have (if we’re lucky). We all have our window, it’s just that Hob has the ability to shift his window to a new perspective, a new era of time, a new life. And I think he would think that was pretty cool
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Lynnie Green was and still is a fan of Bea- she refers to herself as an 'acolyte' in an interview I listened to. She was a fan even before getting on the show, she followed Bea's theater career closely. She's also talked about how (I can't remember which appearance) at the end of filming Bea said she was going for a drink (I think they shared a dressing room) and how she regrets that Bea was obviously offering to take her out on the town and she was so, like, in awe that she fumbled it and she regrets it to this day because she wanted to cross that bridge from acolyte to confidant and thinks they could've been great friends. She's also said Bea kept in touch with her after filming and would always greet her warmly when they ran into each other or offer her tickets to some shows a few times over the years. OH and she's a lesbian, happily married to her wife (just found this out at the last Golden Con). she rocks, basically.
Anon, oh my god. The amount of incredible information you have given me.
First of all -- Lynnie referring to herself as an acolyte of Bea is incredible. Honestly wish I'd been able to follow Bea's career as closely as Lynnie did, if only for the chance to call myself her acolyte.
The story about Bea inviting her out for a drink and her fumbling the invitation is so relatable, oh my god. Can you imagine, getting to work with someone you admire so much? No -- getting to impersonate her?? And then she invites you out for a drink??? I would have died on the spot. Holy shit. Absolutely incredible. I'm so sorry for her that she didn't get to become Bea's friend but honestly I completely get her panic!
And Bea -- I know by now that she was a complete sweetheart, but this information just melts my heart!!! She kept in touch with her? She was warm to her and sent her tickets to her shows??? Oh ;-; what a sweet lovely person she was!!! I'm forever mad I didn't get the chance to see her in person! What a blessing upon this world!!
And on top of all this, on the first day of pride month, you come and tell me Lynnie is a happily married lesbian?? Anon you have made me so happy. So so so happy. Thank you so much!!! You're absolutely right, she rocks!
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sleepless-crows · 26 days
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i love choi yeonjun so much
#recently ive been thinking about him more than usual. hes like my biggest role model and my biggest inspiration#hes just. hes everything#DO YOU GET ME#i love his confidence that never wavers. even when he was still working on his dream he truly believed he could achieve it#he loves himself and knows his worth and i wish i could reach that level of confidence one day#and even if he's so confident. he's also an extremely grateful and humble person !!#he never takes things for granted and he's really down to earth too#he just has the perfect balance of confidence and humility that i wish i could find too#and !!! i love his mindset so much. he values growth and constant improvement#and he (and well all of txt) helped me value hard work because dude the passion that they have for what they do is so inspiring#and his motto being 'be the only one not the best one'. that just shows everything#he's just so incredibly inspiring i don't know how he's real#all the trainees and idols looking up to him are so real for that because how could anyone know of him and not just be awestruck#his mom nicknamed him 'healing' and that's so true. he really is healing#i have no idea how hes real. i don't even plan on becoming an idol ever but hes just my role model too#he just has the purest heart and such a good mindset and through him i learned i want to be like that too#HE IS MY ROLE MODEL. DO YOU GET IT. I LOVE HIM SO MUCHM DO YOU GET IT.#ok i just had to vent that out i love choi yeonjun so much <3
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 5 months
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'yandere sebastian' 'yandere abigail' 'yandere wizard' give me yandere clint 🖐✊🖐✊
#random thoughts#stardew valley#love the idea of a clint who slowly loses interest in emily and starts fixating on the farmer#it wouldn't get violent so not REALLY a yandere he just gets kinda stalker-y and really passive-aggressive#about you talking to and romancing other people#i just wish more stardew mods kept the original kind of asshole-y personalities of the nonromancable characters#don't make morris a sympathetic guy whose dad died and he's 'just following orders' give me reasons WHY he thinks pelican town sucks#and make me be able to kiss him anyway#a character doesn't need to be morally good for me to understand their motivations!!!#GIVE ME ASSHOLE WIZARD!!!#actually you know what i love the idea of clint killing someone and immediately regretting it#like in a heat of the moment 'my crush's spouse is arguing with me while im forging and well.'#'i got mad and i had a hammer'#immediately freaks out but OBVIOUSLY he can't go to harvey about this!!!#so he takes the body (were they still breathing? he was so freaked out he can't remember anymore and he hates it)#and buries it in the grove of trees behind his house where you get that one statue#goes inside and cries himself to sleep or smth#gets all jumpy for a while until you trigger his next heart event#when you go to his shop while he's visibly upset and he's like#'would you still like me even if i did something really wrong? would we still be friends?'#and depending on how you answer he either gets moderately back to normal or kills himself#the ghost of your spouse starts haunting him btw. visible only to him#you can see inside his house before you enter during the cutscene and you (the player) can see the ghost#but when you go inside it's gone#if he kills himself you find a note saying to check out back to see what he did#my guilty pleasure is really fucking edgy character mods can you tell#anyway if you get married and have a kid after this the kid has your deceased spouse's name by default <3
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sysig · 3 months
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One better (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Blood#I knew going into this and it was still so distressing :'0#Who needs plot twists when you can create such an intense sense of Dread#Probably doesn't help that I read this At Night In the Dark lol - actual shivers#Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha#The way that ''Doctor'' is written is So skillful - I'm so impressed by everyone's prose and quirks and syntax!#Not to mention when he breaks character in a later scene to apologize for taking a bit to move the scene along haha <3 Play!!#It really does speak to just how much skill and effort is put into everything <3 It's so well done all the way around!!#Anyway to the actual scene at hand lol ow :') Drawing blood is always fun but I wish it wasn't his ;u;#Ugh the way he takes the surgeries is so well written - fear of course but a kind of stoic suffering as much as he's able to -#Until it comes to his eye#Ugh the /break/ of it all he goes from so eloquent - almost snarky and silly! Still trying to find an out make peace do /something/#It all goes completely out the window he's so /reduced/ and nothing hurts worse than that ughughugh#For all his intelligence and wit and prior successes and charm and just - everything that makes him /him/ to be dissolved into abject fear#It's so sad ;; And so well done <3#And he still holds enough of himself to know what he'd be losing wegh it's so sad!! He's so defined by his vision as most VUX are it's fjdsl#Zelnick is already gone by this point but I wanted to throw him in for extra sad flavour :')#Plus - I've mentioned his post-Op was one of the ones from the gallery that Actively kills me every time I look at it#Can you imagine my heartbreak to find out that he didn't have his Captain to comfort him after this in actuality? That he was fully alone?#''Are we home? Is it over?'' ''N...not yet'' - The Absolute Devastation of realizing that Never Was not really#Just tear my heart out why don't you ugh I'm fully bleeding out 💔#That last one is actually meant to be Max but it's open to interpretation :)#I think it's such a waste that his eye was just disposed of! Someone else could've used that (lol)#I do think there's something to the idea of seeing what used to be a part of your body elsewhere - like the Leftovers!#Even just keeping as a memento tho - a trophy - insult to injury but literally#Just points to no one being special and nothing being sacred I suppose
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jahiera · 10 months
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tenderly holding all astarion with masc/gnc women ships 😌 thank you for your service
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phoenix-onfire · 1 year
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