#so I was trapped for like 3 hrs

[shellyscribbles]

Today is so not going as planned. I was so ready to get all my chores done, do a bunch of writing and read.

I managed some reading and then everything went off the rails and all I have done is a little cleaning and answered a lot of questions on X.

Well, I get to write now at least.

[sensitivegoblin]

Stupid period vent

If youre a cis man; kiss a uterous haver on the forehead today

Cus fuck this feels like a mental parasite

[strawberryrhubarbs]

I am so tired of getting mosquito bites INSIDE!!!! how and why does this keep happening!!!!

[lokh]

is it harder to capture monsters in mhw vs mhr or am i just a dumbass.

[shoutsindwarvish]

pros of my current job:

I’m good at it

I make enough that I can comfortably afford to buy myself a little treat without guilt (let alone not having to worry about making rent)

I genuinely like my in-office coworkers now that the toxic one left

Commuting is actually nice in the summer because they’ve got AC and my apartment becomes an oven

I adore my team lead and wish she lived closer so we could get lunch (she’s in virginia and i’m in minnesota)

cons of my job:

The leadership sucks

It sucks so bad

My manager (a middle-aged white woman from northern wisconsin who gives off republican vibes) very obviously believes in the Protestant work ethic that suffering is noble and anything else is laziness and lack of commitment (example: she once denied my request to be exempt from mandatory overtime when i had a stomach bug because there are “no exceptions”)

She is also trying to “fix” things that aren’t broken and making them actively worse because she doesn’t understand what my job actually is and keeps giving me conflicting coachings so that nothing I do pleases her

Related to #4, she’s telling my team to cut corners without saying it explicitly or in writing and it’s obviously so that she can claim plausible deniability if it blows up and can throw us under the bus (i am also refusing to do so which I’m pretty sure has me labeled as a problem)

went weeks without interacting with her and presumably not being noticed by her (which was a blessing) but the micromanaging eye of sauron turned on me this morning and it’s like.

you’re so stupid. if you fire me or push me to the point of quitting then your department will be so fucked. you need my ass. and everyone i’ve spoken to in my line of business feels the same way as me, even people i didn’t expect. she is shooting herself in the foot in the name of “production go up.”

capitalism (especially corporate capitalism) is one hell of a drug.

[fagrights]

pov: you lay in the same position for 3 hrs every single muscle tensed because if you move out of the one specific position you’ve found that alleviates a lot of the pain you will be unable to stand it

[outismm]

OUTIS!!!!!! How do you feel about you and Robotus in a princess and the frog au? I think it fits you two very well! You two fall in love and in the end when you share True Love’s Kiss he turns into a human (or you turn into a robot. Either one works)

OK THIS FUCKING IDEA HAS. BIRTHED BRAINWORMS THAT ARE ONLY TANGENTIALLY RELATED TO THIS BUT. IDCIDCIDC IM ROLLING WITH IT.

The idea of AB as a human and Willie as a robot has given me diseases. I've tried to condense these diseases as efficiently as possible so here's this silliness:

*SPINS IN A CIRCLE AND PINGS OFF INTO THE ATMOSPHERE*

[frostbite-the-bat]

first quad hr of 2024 heres to 6568465465468748 more

[kroosluvr]

vending machine coffee

hi guys i did not move for 7 hrs until i finished this HELP MEEEEE (From the lineart+colors stage btw.... it basically took 7 hrs for rendering LKDSKJADKSAHD)

this is technically long winter au (royal trio r trapped together for longer than like 10 minutes) and this is.. i guess.. like a week in? to maruki's actualization. so theyre all very antsy and anxious (and sumire and goro havent reaaaalllyyy had many heart-to-hearts yet)

ANYWAY do u think abt the horror of being slam dunked into an ""ideal reality"" and not knowing what's real and what's fake and Most horrifically. getting used to the fake part

i like to think in long winter au they band together super close bc theyre tbh frightened of this reality, don't know wtf could happen if maruki could do This then he could do Anything right. so they walk all together like ducks in a line LMAOOO

akira feels disheartened at akechi's joke in page 1 - like yeah shit ur right. what's real and what's not. sumire distracts them by buying coffee

akira covers akechi's mouth bc he thinks hes gonna say some dumb shit (he wasn't)

(also for the record sumire hands the first coffee to goro and then the 2nd to akira then akira picks the last one up for her)

THE WAY AKIRA SMILES AT SUMIRE IM GONNA JUUUUUUUUUMP (i forgot to draw his bag strap there. fml. whatever)

woah the posters on the wall thats crazayyy is that the detective prince, the phantom thieves, and kasumi yoshizawa (tm)???? woahhhhh smile

akira grimaces at akechi's ""advice"" bc he Knows how real it is. He knows how haunted goro is by 1) his mother's death. 2) his murders. 3) the death of his Child self and his dreams of being a "hero of justice." sumire obviously doesn't know all this baggage so she just takes it at face-value like "yeah ur right senpai now that i think abt it!" but it really weighs heavily on akira and goro realizes that in the last page. so hes like. shit. well. ermmm. awkward lets get outta here

i like the colors on the last page eheh

ok time for me to eat something im feel like im dying.

[viktoriaashleyyx]

Why do some of us not *hate* Tamlin?

I am pro-tamlin, not pro feylin. I would prefer Tamlin to never have to deal with the NC ever again. If SJM never types his name out again I will be happy.

Tw: light mentions to DV, SA, and Divorce.

Feyre is written in a way that makes it feel like she is intentionally manipulating us against Tamlin to justify her leaving him the way she did, and to put Rhysand up on a pedestal.

The abrupt and sloppy way SJM handled Tamlins' character assassination induced my fight or flight. Let me explain:

My parents divorced when I was 4, and I had to learn, quickly, how to interpret people's true intentions and empathize with where they are coming from vs just blindly listening to someones account of what happened. My father got custody of us and would use the same elements against my mom that Feyre uses against Tamlin. I HAVE to read between the lines or I would fall to the intentional manipulation.

"She left me so she probably cheated" "he trapped me in the house" "she has a new boyfriend so she doesn't care about you anymore" "he hit me [when I was actively TRYING to get him to hit me to sway public opinion of him]"

Everytime Feyre left for the NC, she did so kicking and screaming. Every indication Tamlin could see was that she did NOT want to go with Rhys, until he gets a letter from her saying to not come looking for her that she doesn't want to be with him. Tamlin didn't know she could read or write. Had that been my love I would assume it was a ransom note too, written by someone else. Had she actually spent 1 hr winnowing to Tamlin, tell him face to face, then winnow back (with an escort) he MIGHT have gotten the hint.

A tithe was a weird thing to use to show how cruel Tamlin is, considering how 2/3 of the night court live in constant fear, children's bones are broken for misbehaving, the CoN are trapped there. SJM really showed us that she has no political knowledge what so ever. I barely started ACOFAS and when Feyres talking about the unnatural sum of her money, my first thought is "You don't amass that level of wealth without oppressing someone." Lucien said that Tamlin would be expected to hunt down those not able to pay the tithe, but when we get to Tamlins actual actions he just said "get it together in 3 days or pay double next time". In my initial reading, I interpreted it as another mask (like how Rhysand acts). Tamlin does this due to tradition, he is expected to act a certain way, but *I felt* he had no intention of acting out what he said. It was just a line he was expected to say to send the wraith away without others expecting the same.

Feyre and Tamlin were not right for eachother because they were not eachothers mates. People can exist fine separately, and be incredibly toxic together. From page 1 we see Feyres inherent inability to empathize with anyone, she has it bad, she has to hunt, therefore her sisters don't do anything. But she also can't cook, so who was preparing the meat she brought home? It gave me "housework isn't real work" vibes. Feyre also doesn't communicate very well, which would explain why a literal mind reader was able to help her better than Tamlin was. I saw Tamlin trying but not being able to help her because he couldn't read her mind.

Feyre didn't want to be trapped in a manor for a few hours while she was displaying manic behavior, but she condoned her sisters be trapped in the HOW for 6 weeks immediately after losing their lives. She condones the treatment of the people in Hewn city and supports the literal Jim Crow laws placed against them in Velaris when all they wanted was to leave. She condones and supports trapping Nesta in HoW after the war just to force Cassain on her so Feyre can play matchmaker.

Feyre is an inherently self centered sociopath. She can read minds and still can't develop a shred of empathy.

Just leave Tamlin alone. Damn.

[minv97]

˖°. ˖°.𓆩♡𓆪 .°˖ ˖°.

Warning nsfw content Minors dni!!!

100 followers woo! I wanted to celebrate by writing something with Jihoon as ever since Move came out he's been wrecking me :(( also as part of the celebration my asks will be open for 24 hrs so go crazy while you can. My inbox will always be open so don't be scared to interact with me! I'm shy but nice I promise.

This is my first time writing for a member of Treasure, they're actually my ult group and I've been a teume for a good 4 years and I'm so so happy they're getting the recognition they deserve because they're very talented and handsome!

Jihoon's basically a horny MF and finds (fem) reader's dildo... Enjoy!!! <3

This yours?” You look over at Jihoon at the exact time he pulls out your shiny, pink dildo from your night drawer and you swear the nosey bastard did it on purpose, you roll your eyes at him and march over to where he stands.

“Why are you going through my stuff?” You snatch the object from his hands and go to put it back in its original location but Jihoon stops you, pulling on your wrist and yanking you towards him in one swift motion. “Wanna show me how you use it?”

You feel heat rush to your face but Jihoon ignores this, intertwining your fingers together as he walked you over back to your bed.

“Show me, I’m curious now.” He’s teasing you can tell, his eyes are crescent moon from the smile that reaches his eyes and were decorated with black eyeliner and blue eye contacts from earlier’s party, that being the only reason the pretty pain in the ass was still around since he claimed to be too drunk to go home by himself but now you’re realizing he tricked you, what he really meant was he just wanted to fuck you.

“Jihoon-” Your words get cut off by him literally shoving you into your back and you land on the bed with a bounce, the mattress under you dips as Jihoon is quick to climb over you, chain dangling in your face as he grabs a hold of both your wrists and pinning them above your head and just like that you’re trapped under him.

“When’d you get it?” His feathery bangs tickling you as he dips his head closer to you, nudging his nose into the crook of your neck for a few moments before he presses a single kiss there to the skin. “You smell like strawberries by the way.”

“I can’t remember, it’s been awhile.” You answer truthfully and Jihoon withdraws himself from you but only enough to you look you in your eye when he speaks. “Wanna play with it?”

Jihoon was too tired for his own good- the evidence clear in his eyes and you can tell every time he looks at you but his thirst to fuck you overpowered it. Sleep can wait, especially when you were his main priority.

You were tired too of course, but Jihoon knew you’d give in to him. He saw the way you had eyed him all night, like a fat kid eyeing candy in a store and knew you wanted it just as bad as he did, can feel the heat from between your legs on the palm of his hand when he releases one of your wrists to feel and palm your clothed pussy just to make sure his intuition was right and like usual it was.

“Can I please?” He almost sounds like he’s begging with the way his voice draws the words out against your neck, softly this time. You can feel his dick against your thigh, all hard and eager for you and your mouth almost begins to water just as much as your pussy has when the idea of taking him in your mouth corrupted your brain.

“Say please again.” You’re only teasing but you’re not surprised when Jihoon looks in your eyes again, a sinister grin grows on his lips and without batting an eyelash said please, this time even softer and he’s running the tip of the dildo along your lower lips.

The second you give Jihoon permission to touch you further he latches his lips on yours. He doesn’t stop to take the time to remove your underwear, simply pulls it off to the side and he doesn’t give a warning before he’s pushing the head of it past your lips and inside of you, your hole practically throbbing and clenching around the toy immediately and you gasp against Jihoon’s lips.

He finally releases your wrist to lift up on his elbow and watch the way the dildo slides back in and out of you, mouth drooling at the way you were already making a mess, your arousl dripping from the dildo and down your thighs every time he slid the dildo out of you just to push it right back in, your pussy squelching and sucking it right back in greedily and you lay there, hands gripping the sheets around you with your eyes closed and lips slightly apart, taking everything he gave you and the sight of you makes him chuckle you’re so adorable.

“Tell me,” he starts, you’re barely listening he can tell so he slides the dildo out of you, resorting to rubbing the tip around your clit for only a second before he stops that too, ignoring the pout on your lips as you open your eyes and give him a pleading look. “Does it feel better than me?”

“You want me to compare a toy to you?” You scuff, rolling your eyes.

Jihoon looks down at you expecting and waiting for an answer, you realize he’s serious and he’s not moving a second more until you give him an answer and you sigh in annoyance. “Of course you feel better, Jihoon. Always prefer you.”

“Yeah?” He’s smiling now because of the way your feeding his ego. “Does that mean you’ll throw this thing away then?”

“What about when you’re not around?”

“Slut.” Jihoon rolls his eyes at you playfully, tossing the dildo somewhere behind him and he’s back all over you, kissing along the exposed skin of your breast peaking out from your shirt and hands gripping your waist tightly, you only chuckle and savor the feel of him, running a hand through the back of his silky hair. “Yeah, but I’m your slut.”

Jihoon perks up at that, you can see how red his ears are getting from your comment and the effect of it all in his actions when he starts to trail his kisses lower and lower along the curves of your body until he’s at the hem of your skirt, he’s growing tired and impatient and can’t wait to have a taste of you, making sure he vocally tells you this before bunching your skirt up around your thighs for better access.

Silly of you to think Jihoon would finally stop dragging this out and allow you to finally get your sweet release, it’s like you almost forgot you were dealing with Jihoon. He’s trying to kill you, you’re almost positively sure of it when he presses his tongue flat against the seat of your underwear, can feel the very tip his nose rubbing against your clit as he leaves a long, slow lick up your clothed pussy, leaving his own wet patch of saliva.

He glances up at you with his pretty eyeliner and blue eyes, crescent shaped and disappearing behind his innocent smile. “Can a dildo do that?”

“Oh my god, Jihoon.”

“Calm down, I’m going to take care of you, baby. Don’t I always?”

After finally putting you through what felt like enough torture he pulls your underwear off to the side, he’s only kissed your clit but it’s enough to have your legs shaking as you struggled to hold them open.

“You’re so cute.” he presses another kiss against your clit, pushing two fingers inside of you, curling them inside of your pussy before retracting them only to slide them right back around your velvety walls, repeating the same process over and over again as he places his mouth over your clit, sucking and twirling his tongue around the bud just right to have tears pricking your waterline.

“F-fuck.” Your hands reach for something, anything and you find yourself intertwining your fingers through his dark locks, you’re not in the right mind when you begin pulling on his hair, can feel him wince slightly but he chuckles it away against your clit.

You really don’t mean to hurt the poor boy, but it’s hard, especially when he’s twirling his tongue around your clit so well and curling his fingers against your plushy walls. You had to admit the dildo couldn’t amount to Jihoon- hell, no other man could, but you’d have to keep that secret to yourself, didn’t need his ego getting any bigger than it already was.

“I’m so close.” You’re speaking absentmindedly, Jihoon knows how dumb you get, used to not receiving a response from you most of the time so the fact your even communicating now is surprising, thinks you must be feeling good and it’s enough to put a proud smile on his face as he glances up at you while he catches his own breath.

“Go ahead and cum baby, didn’t I tell you I’d take care of you?”

“Thankyou- thankyou so much.” You’re rambling off a bunch of thank you’s as your legs close around his head, unable to control your hips grinding against his mouth and using him like your own personal little toy and he enjoys every second of it as you cum under his fingers and tongue, lapping up all of your juices until it’s dripping from his chin and it’s the only taste he can remember.

You’re tired but you use the rest of your strength to pull him up to your mouth, kissing him and tasting your self in every corner of his mouth until you both need air.

“I promise when I wake up tomorrow I’ll suck you off until my throats sore and I can’t.” You’re still coming back to your senses but your sentence still makes Jihoon laugh, he pecks you on your lips once more before falling back onto the mattress next to you, throwing an arm and leg around you as he snuggled into your side. “No need for that sweetheart, just throw the damn dildo away.”

You can find all of my work under #minv97

[wayfayrr]

Alright, I wonder how long an ask can be. U asked for it!😝

Also, if u were curious, since I’ve only played Botw and most but not all of totk, 98% of the time my yandere self-aware ideas will be of Wild/Tears.

How does Wild/Tears feel about the fairies? Like, is he embarrassed that reader has to watch that? Does he worry what they think? Or is he just like “eh, I can’t control their upgrade animations, sorry”. Then how does he feel when reader thinks it’s kinda cute/funny? I don’t want to traumatize the poor guy, but I must admit watching the level four animation is slightly funny bc I feel so bad for him. And in level three when he covers his face is cute.

What about when he just has to sit there for 10 hrs his time? Listen, I wanna upgrade the darn champion’s tunic but the stupid upgrades require 2 of each farmable dragon Zelda item. And I couldn’t find her for so long it was annoying. Ik she follows a certain path but even so u have to just keep following the path hoping u eventually run into her. So I just decided to farm an item, then sit there for 10 minutes r time until she’s farmable again. So how does Tears feel? Am I wasting his time? Is he bored? If he had an animation for it would he fall asleep? Would he glare at me for making him sit there for 10 hours? Plus, ima be honest. For those 10 minutes of me just waiting, I’ll usually scroll on my phone. I’m not gonna stare at the tv for 10 minutes, sorry lol. So is he mad that I’m not paying attention to him and stuff?

What about if I laugh at him? Alright, I don’t do it That much lol, just if I make an embarrassing mistake w him and he looks a little funny. Would he be embarrassed? Mad? ….?? I think he’s cuuute! It’s fiiine, right…?😭

Thinking about my one ask where I used him for science, totally not using bombs on him for any other reason! Anyway, so I have to admit, his overheating animation I like. I’m all for angst/whump w characters. Whenever I read AO3, 98% of the stories r angst/whump for Wild/Tears. Sicfic? Yes please! Nightmares? Yes please! Psychological torture? Sign me up! There was this one fic someone wrote about Wild being hit by a curse that trapped him in his memory next time he unlocked one, so he had to watch it over and over and over. The rest of the chain had to save him. Tho, if it makes u feel any better, I only like happy endings, no open ended ones, no sad ones, or character deaths. Nope. Fairy tale where they all lived happily ever after please and thank u lol. So anyway, I got sidetracked lol. My question was, would he be mad if I just put the game on the clothes menu when he’s overheating so he doesn’t lose any hearts over it, just watching him do it for a minute or two?

Sometimes I need to wear like one clothing item per outfit so I can use like 3 different abilities. For example, maybe bandana to climb faster, gloom shirt for an extra heartbreak, and snow pants bc it’s freezing? And sometimes I’ll complain that he looks ugly, well, not him, but the outfit, and say that I wish I could make him look cuter but I need these abilities atm. Does he hate the outfits like I do? Does he care more about function? Does he hate that I care so much?

How does he feel not being able to talk? Like literally every other character can talk except him. And he can’t do anything by himself. Everything he does is either a programmed animation or an action by my controller. I bet he has a lot he wants to say but can’t. Does he ever worry that if he were to get out and see me, what if he couldn’t talk to me??

🐰

yeah it's always a lot easier to think about the links you know better for stuff like this ngl, so I don't blame you for sticking to them. plus wild and tears are just fun too right? :3c

so starting from the top -

I think the fairies are a touchy subject for him, if you like the cutscenes then he can set his discomfort about being picked up and kissed somewhat - don't get me wrong he doesn't enjoy it but for your happiness he'll do it as many times as you make him (although, unless he finds a way to override the controls then it's not really like he has a choice in it) he'll make notes about how you like him acting in certain ways though - I mean if you like seeing him as a blushy mess covering his face in the game then you'll like it more when he's doing it in person right? Please don't make him recreate the level four one though.

To be honest, there's nothing that you could do to him that he could ever consider a waste of time. would he prefer you to be actively engaged? sure. Is he bothered if you're still there but just waiting for a bit for the dragon to recharge? Not really, yeah he'd prefer to be doing more, but at the same time it gives him a chance to observe and to get more of a grasp of how the game works while it's on and running compared to when he's robbed of his body and is left a being floating in a desolate void of numbers and machine code. He can relax and still have feeling and eyes on you and your eyes on him every now and then even though it's not as often as he'd like. as for the time? I think once he became aware he stopped running on hyrules time, so it's only ten minutes for him too. Ten minutes that granted feel longer than that cause of the scenery, but still only ten minutes. if it were a situation where he was still in a hyrule then he'd be further detached from anyone else. (my thoughts are if the game is left in standby on the switch then it's all still loaded and the links have free reign but if it's closed and you're playing another switch game then it tosses them into the abyss)

laughing at him for being cute is all good but please don't make fun of him ;-; he's only doing what you make him do after all!

I need to write more whump and hurt/comfort for tears actually, thanks for the reminder Well, he's not getting hurt by it -soooo he's kinda a bit deluded into thinking that it's another show of love for him. You simply love all the sounds that he's making <3 (and I don't blame you, his whimpers are actually just so adorable?????) You care so much that you're not letting him get hurt for your happiness!!!!

I think he takes it as a compliment that you care so much about how his outfits look, he wants to look his best for you too!!! If he could he'd find a way to stack the different bonuses so that you could treat him like a proper dress up doll without having to worry about the environment and how it impacts him :c he doesn't care what outfit he 'wears' cause it's not like he's actually wearing and interacting with it. it's glued to him like a second skin so whether you're keeping him shirtless or putting him in the thickest shirt possible there's no difference to him just don't mod him so that he's no longer himself please

The fact that there's a chance he wouldn't be able to communicate with you is something that he worries about alot, not even just not having a voice. He'd be fine with being mute if he can write or sign to you, hell he could probably delude himself into being fine that he couldn't do that if he could move freely and hold you. what scares him the most is the idea that he'd be like a puppet cut, that if he gets out that without the code acting as his strings he falls limp like a puppet cut loose. that's what's horrifying to him. anything else he could learn to live with, but that potential keeps him from making any rash movements where the cost could outweigh the benefits. I like to think that out of desperation, (this goes for sky in the fic too) they stole another characters voicebank from another game :) one that speaks your native tongue preferably, but at the very least one that shares a language you speak

[nymphie66]

God Bless America pt 3

Part One

Part Two

Description: Things are back on track between you and Ben, and you've found a sort of peace. Vought is determined to ruin that.

Author's note: This hyperfixation is really serving. This may be the last part of this mini-fic, as I've literally just been writing things as they've entered my mind and they just happen to be cohesive. But who knows! Uni starts up again imminently, hopefully I'll catch a break. Feel free to send in prompts or scenarios and I could probably bang something drabbley out. Also, thank you everyone for your support, I love each and every one of you motherfuckers.

Warnings: gore, darkfic -kinda, this came out slightly fluffy (don't know what happened there lol), mentions of pregnancy, mentions of sex, swearing, implied forced testing, cringey language

S/N : Supe Name

Suit: random office worker that I didn't bless with a name or description

---

You span in your desk chair in absolute boredom, hands on your swollen belly, the only modicum of joy you got was from the movements of your darling baby, only four more months to go now.

Which is why you were sat in said desk chair, in a Vought meeting room with a bunch of suits from HR and legal, negotiating over your maternity leave and, much to his horror, Ben's paternity leave.

He couldn't understand why he would have to take time off as well. As he put it "My part is done, I got my soldiers to your base, your turn to lead the charge." After saying such a thing he promptly had the nearest object in your vicinity thrown at him.

You tried to explain to him, that you would need help as the pregnancy progressed, that there could be complications leaving you bed-bound till it was time to push the little one out into the world, that you could even be hospitalised. You expected him to put his fingers in his ear and start singing the national anthem at you, desperate to drown you out, but what happened instead shocked you.

He stilled, and you could see the thoughts churning in his head, and gradually his brow furrowed and he turned away from you. You walked towards him, arms encircling his waist, face pressed against his back, the texture of his soft cotton jersey brushing against your cheek. You knew exactly what he was doing.

Ben cleared his throat and took a sharp inhale of breath. He couldn't show weakness in front of you, especially not now. It wasn't the manly- let alone fatherly- thing to do. But he felt that resolve weaken by the way you held him so tenderly, leaned into his back so softly. It reminded him of the earlier days in your relationship, when you trusted him so blindly, believed in him so faithfully.

He'd get home from work, usually in a pissy mood, ranting and raving about whatever fuckery his team had put him through. And you would be there, smile on your lips, eyes filled with joy just at the sight of him. You'd listen, never probe but when he was just winding himself up, you would circle your arms around his waist and press your face into his back, leaning on him for support. The action was simple but made him feel like he was your whole world, that he was all you needed, that he was enough.

Things were better now. Ben had followed your instruction to the morbid T, and in turn, you allowed his presence, tolerated it even, though you soon fell back into the trap of loving him wholeheartedly again. The way he doted on you, adored you, the way you were 'his girl' again.

It didn't mean that things were perfect - far from it. You still had the occasional shouting match that led to the replacement of many crushed/shattered mobile phones, and though you wouldn't admit it, your attachment to Ben had become positively possessive. If his gaze strayed from you for more than a minute, you could feel yourself freeze up, a blend of uncouth rage and desperation flooding you that was only sated when he looked back at you again. You were needy, and it was pathetic- to you, not to him, he found it hot as fuck and told you so.

Ben would press a hand to your lower back, hover smugly above your ear and whisper assurances to you, though they were less than PG. Often involving a detailed description of him fucking you in front of whoever you were jealous of. You blamed the pregnancy hormones, but every time he did it you wanted him to make good on his promises and you quickly escorted him to a (mostly) private section of wherever you were.

In fact, as you sat there, listening to the drone of legal and HR, you realised that you had been in this meeting room before. Though you could hardly blame yourself, you didn't really take in decor when you bent over the conference table, getting your brains fucked out. You cursed yourself for not making Ben read that pregnancy book earlier, ever since he found out making you cum was good for the baby, the man was on a mission - not that he wasn't before, but there was definitely an added level of determination that you appreciated.

"So it's agreed? S/N will start her maternity leave now and once she reaches her third trimester Soldier Boy will start his paternity leave." Your Vought legal representative consolidated. You tuned back into the conversation, hopeful that this meeting was finally coming to an end.

"Agreed, we have already arranged for the samples to be taken in the next half-hour if S/N is ready?" The other suit asked, casting you an expectant look. You froze, your hand gripping your bump and leaned forward, a panicked look directed to your rep, but before you could continue the suit continued. "May I remind S/N that it is in her signed contract that sample matter from a resulting pregnancy is legally Vought's to take. This includes amniotic fluid, blood and foetus tissue sample."

You felt your stomach lurch and you swallowed thickly, you didn't argue that it wasn't in your contract, it was exactly the type of sick and twisted clause Vought would stick in there.

"S/N?" Your legal rep asked, seemingly completely unbothered by what was going on. You didn't question if it was safe, nothing that Vought did was ever safe.

You surveyed the room, there was about eight people there, none of them particularly intimidating but that's not what you were worried about. They would have known you were going to show resistance and you now realised that the abundance of office workers was to merely lull you into a false sense of security. This meant one of three things. 1) There was a supe nearby ready to make you comply 2) One if not all of them had tranquillisers on them 3) all of the above.

Knowing Vought it was probably number three.

You could try and do a runner but you would get caught, you could try and fight them but that meant risking the baby. Whatever supe was going to show up would hardly care about your condition and who the fuck knew what Vought put in those tranquillisers.

Your eyes looked around the room, pretending to think about if you had any scheduled plans after this meeting. Your eyes settled on a wonky painting that had been hastily put back up- in fact, you had put that back up after it fell during your 'de-stressing session' with Ben.

Ben.

"Yes, I think that should be just fine." You smiled sweetly at them, "You wouldn't mind me calling my fiancé Be- Soldier Boy to let him know, would you? He likes to be included in anything related to the baby. Plus he would love to know that our little creation is helping advance the research at Vought. Anything for his country- you know him!"

You laughed and waved your hand, praying that they were convinced by your little show. They didn't know him, but it flew that Soldier Boy, the living and breathing embodiment of the good ol' red white and blue, would be behind such a thing. It was for his country after all.

"Great, that's just great. I'll call him now." You took the general shrugging from them as a go-ahead and quickly called Ben, mouthing 'busy man' to them with a big smile as it continued to ring, you were half afraid that he wasn't going to pick up until you heard his gruff voice on the end of the line.

"What baby? Can't even go to a meeting without-"

"-Ben, honey!" You smiled tensely as you cut him off his surely sordid sentence, and prayed that he could pick up on your forced cheeriness, from experience he should. Considering you only spoke in that tone to him when you were threatening to get rid of his baby or extreme violence. "I just wanted to let you know that Vought are going to collect some samples of our little star-spangled bugaboo. Amniotic fluid, blood, a bit of tissue matter, nothing our little super trooper can't handle, especially considering her old daddio! I was just hoping you would be able to join your darling doll at the doctor's, honeybuns."

You wanted to pull your own tongue out of your mouth, stuff it down your throat and throw it back up again.

"I will be right there."

And just like that the line dropped, you smiled, taking the phone away from your ear and holding it to your chest. You gave a thumbs up and chuckled nervously, "He's on his way!" You sat back down into your chair and exhaled, muttering the phrase to yourself again. "He's on his way.."

The time it took for Ben to get there was filled with awkward silence, interrupted only by the odd question from a curious suit about your pregnancy and the baby. Which was met with a vague and elusive answer. There was no way in hell you were going to give them any more information about it than what they already had.

Then finally, Ben appeared, bursting into the conference room decked out in his suit, hair dishevelled, panting ever so slightly, knuckles bruised. So you were right, there had been a supe nearby. He looked at you with a loving urgency and you stood up, one hand on your stomach as you nodded your head. You were okay, the both of you were, but more importantly, you were ready.

Ben landed the first hit and the HR manager's head rolled down the conference table like a bloody bowling ball. You struck next, your unhelpful rep ended up being useful for the first time in their life by acting as a human shield as you burst through their chest and clawed out the Head of Legal's throat. The others got out their tranqs - right again, but you unsheathed your forearm from your rep's chest and threw their body onto them, knocking them off their feet.

"Glad you got the message." You told him in relief as you crushed an approaching man's skull in your hand, blood decorating your face like gruesome confetti from a piñata. You quickly dropped him and continued walking towards your saviour.

"Well at first I thought you were trying something new-" Ben kicked another suit's chest in, smiling as he fell to the floor, there weren't many left now. "-but by daddio, I started to realise that something was wrong, darling doll and honeybuns was then just obvious"

"Oh so star-spangled-bugaboo and super trooper were fine, but you drew the line at daddio?" You laughed, hands on your hips as he finished the rest off. Happy that the threats had now been eliminated, Ben allowed himself to relax- slightly and turned to look at you.

You looked ravishing.

His little psycho.

Your hair was wild, no longer in the neat ponytail you had agonised over this morning. The blood that drenched your clothes hung to your curves perfectly, showed off your baby bump beautifully. The look light and love in your eyes? Intoxicating.

He quickly strove over and placed a firm hand on the back of your neck and pulled you closer to him. How could he have ever taken this- you- for granted. He would damn himself a hundred times and a hundred times more for it. You squeaked at the force behind his kiss but happily melted into it and for a brief moment you thought you were going to have reenact the last time the two of you had been there. If you ignored the background last time, you could ignore the blood, guts and gore that made it up now.

Unfortunately, Ben pulled away, pressing his forehead against your own. You whined and he smirked. "Sorry baby, but Butcher's waiting outside in the car, gotta get you and bugaboo out of here."

"That's not sticking!"

"It so is."

[archangeldyke-all]

I just saw this art and had some CEO Sevika Thoughts 😵‍💫😵‍💫

https://twitter.com/2400db/status/1777950953817207073

O. M. G. i'm combining this with another ask i got because these two reqs go together like peanutbutter and jelly. EEEK! (also, the link doesnt seem to work now, but it was art of two characters-- i'm not sure who-- where one was sitting in a spinny wheel office chair, back to her computer set up, and the other was straddling her, trying to talk on the phone while the first girl is feeling her up)

the last tidbit in your vacay sex w ceo sev hcs inspired me. could we please get something soft with high!sev after both her and r have smoked?

i like to imagine her hair in a bun with a hoodie and sweatpants on. just looking so pretty and soft and staring at reader like :]

i also like to think she likes skin to skin. :3

🌕

men and minors dni

from time to time, you and sevika work from home.

her penthouse has three bedrooms. one for the two of you, one for guests, and one you've turned into a little study for the both of you for times like this.

two desks on opposite walls, a few bookshelves, a couch, it's a good space. it's helped a lot over the years. when sevika's sick, you manage to convince her to just spend the day in her study instead of torturing herself by dragging herself to work. when the two of you are feeling burnt out, a day taking calls and video meetings at home always help.

and today, you're using it for the best reason of all. it's a snow day.

the city below sevika's windows is covered in a blanket of snow. you've been watching the white powder fall all day. sometimes the blizzard rages so hard, that all the windows in sevika's high rise are greyed-out, and it's like you guys are living inside of a cloud.

sevika has no meetings today. you don't either. so, in an effort to stay cozy, you both decided to stay in your pajamas. sevika looks so snugly in her big sweatshirt and plaid pajama pants. her feet are socked in mis-matched animal print socks, one cats, one ducks. her hair's in a messy bun, and she's still got a bit of sand in her eye even though it's almost lunch. you love her like this.

it's been a slow day. with the whole city trapped inside, the usual twenty calls an hour you're used to answering has dwindled down to two.

at lunch, sevika manages to convince you to smoke a joint with her.

"c'mon babe." she whines, kissing up your neck as you stir the tomato soup heating up on the stove. "no one's gonna need us today. and we're already so cozy, 'n we got nowhere to go..." she wiggles the fat joint she'd rolled in your face. you huff and roll your eyes.

"i need to talk to HR." you grunt, snatching the joint out of her hand and shoving the bubbling pot of soup to the side. "my boss is peer pressuring me to do drugs with her." you tease, quickly lighting the tip of the joint against the burner before putting the soup back. sevika snatches it from you before you can take a puff, running out to the balcony. "sevika!" you squeal as she throws sliding door open. "you're gonna freeze your ass off!" you laugh.

"come here!" she demands, waving you over. you giggle, turning the burner off and running after your wife, grabbing two blankets off the couch as you go.

the balcony is spacious and covered, but with the wind this high up, there's only four inches of space that hasn't been covered in snow. you and sevika squeeze together in the shelter, shivering and huddling under the blankets as the blizzard rages around you.

"you're insane!" you laugh, sevika pulls you closer to her chest, puts the joint, somehow still alight, between your lips.

"puff." she says. you forget the cold for a moment-- the demand sending a shock of arousal down your spine. you take a hit, keeping eye contact with her, and she grins, before pulling the joint away and pressing her mouth against yours.

you exhale, and sevika inhales the smoke from your lungs before she shoves her tongue down your throat.

she pulls away with a smirk. you gulp. "there. warmer?" she asks, putting the joint to her lips as she smirks down at you. you huff, then stick one of your freezing cold hands under her sweater, pawing at her nipple. she squeaks, you giggle at how quickly her nipple gets hard in your fingers.

you guys smoke the joint fast, after that, faster than you probably should've smoked a joint that big. but it was so cold, and the only relief was the warmth from the joint, and you couldn't really feel the high out in the cold...

which means that once you guys get inside, giggling and shaking the snow off your blankets and out of your hair as you quickly warm up, you're both hit with a very sudden, very intense high.

you know you're fucked when it starts to feel like you're underwater. you know sevika's fucked when you look up from your feet where you're struggling to get out of your slippers, and find her giggling at a dick she'd drawn in the frost on the glass wall of the living room.

"sev." you whisper, grinning. she looks over at you, her smile growing impossibly wider when she sees you. you can practically see hearts in her eyes, and you snort. "oh shit." you laugh.

"we still got work." she giggles. you bite your lip.

"fuck." you chuckle.

"ooooh babe! food!" she says suddenly, grabbing your hand and dragging you to the kitchen.

logically, you know that it only takes about ten minutes to make two grilled cheeses and heat up some soup. but it feels like it takes a year.

you keep turning the burners off by instinct-- and sevika has to laugh and turn them back on, reminding you that you're cooking lunch.

she keeps trying to 'season' the food-- which is concerning for a number of reasons. one being that sevika's a horrible cook, who doesn't know the difference between a teaspoon and tablespoon; two, being that she's holding the cinnamon sugar while she says it. the third, most concerning thing is that you're tempted to let her. cinnamon grilled cheese? your high, munchie focused mind thinks, that could work...

eventually, the food is finished, without modification. sevika has to smack your hands twice to remind you to wait for it to cool off. you have to smack hers once.

you guys eat, curled up together on the couch in your study. it could be the weed, but you think it may genuinely be the best grilled cheese of your life.

sevika seems to agree. she keeps moaning and grunting as she chews and slurps her soup.

it should gross you out. she's too high to mind her manners and chew with her mouth closed. really though, it's just turning you on.

she looks up at you, her cheeks stuffed with grilled cheeses, tomato soup dripping down her chin onto her lap, and you bite your lip. she chews, swallows, then speaks. "you wan' som'a mine?" she offers.

your heart leaps in your chest and you surge forward, pressing your mouth against sevika's. she groans, her hands flailing, and she clumsily puts her dishes on the little coffee table. the second she's free, you straddle her lap, clawing at her shoulders, pinning her to the couch. she pulls you down to grind against her, sinking her nails into your hips. you shudder.

you aren't wearing anything under your pajama pants, and you know sevika isn't either. it's just two thin pieces of flannel separating you. for a moment, the dry fabric adds a delicious friction to your movements--but you soak through your and sevika's pants in less than a minute.

and, fuck, you feel like you're in heaven. you feel like you're melting into sevika, it feels like her fingers are made of magic, the sweet grunts and whimpers she's letting out sound like music.

she's like putty in your hands too, chasing you when you pull back, whining when you pull away to breathe. you giggle, smiling down at her and tucking her flyaways behind her ears, she sighs, nuzzling against your palm, and you lean down to kiss her forehead.

"love you." you whisper. she smiles.

"i love you too." she says. you watch in fascination as she licks her lips slowly, looking you up and down. "so... y' gonna ride me now or what?" she asks, grinning and waggling her eyebrows at you.

you burst into a fit of giggles, and sevika grins, nuzzling against your neck and sucking hickeys into your throat. "mmm... okay." you agree. you can feel her lips curl into a smile against your neck, her fingers tugging the drawstring on your pajamas undone.

suddenly, your work-phone starts ringing on your desk. you and sevika both turn around to glare at the sound, and you groan when you realize what it is. sevika makes a choked sound. "n-no--" she manages to whine before you pull yourself off her lap and start walking over to your desk.

sevika squawks, and then in a flash, she sprints over and squeezes between you and your desk chair, flopping into it and tripping you on the way. you squeak, but sevika catches you around your waist, pulling you onto the chair, and her lap, in a straddle. you huff, glaring down at her, and she grins.

"answer the phone." she demands, just like earlier on the balcony. you shiver, and she grins, tugging your pants down over your ass as you bend over her and grab the phone off your desk, pressing it to your ear

"hello?" you choke out. sevika chokes on a laugh, smacks your ass, and you flail, squeaking and smacking her shoulder as you do.

the voice on the other line-- somewhat familiar, a recent client's assistant or something-- asks to speak to sevika. sevika, the exact moment the voice says her name, sinks her teeth into your neck while her fingers start to circle your clit.

"ah-huh-wh-sheeee's, uh, she's not available right now." you say, cringing. sevika's free hand tugs your sweater up, and you smack her forehead-- already knowing what she's planning.

the voice on the phone babbles on and on-- you're not sure about what, you're distracted by the cocky smile she shoots you before ducking in and taking your breast into her mouth. you moan, a horrible, very audible "aaah!" right into your phone.

sevika grins like the devil.

"sorry, s-sorry--there's a bug!" you choke out before the person on the phone can ask you any questions.

oh that's okay. the voice says. i'm the same way, especially about roaches. ew. anyways, as i was saying...

sevika shoves three fingers past your lips and down your throat, you gasp, sputter, and choke, and sevika pulls her fingers free just in time for you to mutter a "sorry, continue," down the line, before shoving her fingers back in your mouth.

it's possibly the hottest thing that's ever happened to you. she keeps thrusting her fingers in and out of your mouth, tiny clicking wet noises escaping with every thrust of her fingers as drool starts to drip down her wrist and your chin.

you try to keep your moans to a minimum. you don't succeed very well.

"you like this?" she whispers. you nod, your eyes closed, tears soaking your cheeks as she continues to fuck your throat with her fingers.

she giggles, then pulls her hand away.

you gasp, your eyes flying open for you to glare at your wife. she just darts forward and gives you a quick kiss, and then she sinks one of her drool-covered fingers inside of you.

you bite your tongue to keep from whining. she kisses a path to your tit, gives it a few nips, then bites your unkissed nipple as she sinks a second finger in your cunt.

"uhhhn, fu--she actually just walked in--here she is--" you spit out before pulling the phone away from your mouth, letting out a long whine, and pushing the phone into sevika's ear. she glares at you, pulling her mouth away from your tits with a pop that you're certain whoever's calling can hear.

"hullo?" she grunts, pressing the phone between her shoulder and ear, freeing her hand to fondle pull her pants down as she sinks her third finger inside of you. your thighs quake, her cock springs free, and you moan.

"fuck, sev, please."

she grins, gives your cunt a few more good thrusts with her fingers, before pulling them out and spitting in the palm of her hand, giving her cock a few quick pumps, and then lining it up to your cunt.

it's your turn to get your revenge. sevika always needs a second to adjust before she can sink all the way inside you-- overwhelmed by the squeeze and warmth-- but today you don't allow it.

you sink down on her in one swift movement, grinning at the pathetic, "hhhhaa--" it draws out of her. you're so fucking lucky whoever's on the phone is a chatterbox.

you start bouncing on her cock, your ass smacking her thighs with each go, and sevika's got the most pained, pathetic look on her face as she bites her lip to keep her moans in.

you chuckle. "you're lucky you're cute." you whisper, before pulling your shirt off and shifting so sevika can muffle her moans in your tits, one of your hands tangled in her bun, at the base of her neck.

you tug the phone out of her hand, taking a deep breath and collecting yourself in a true show of your strength and professionalism-- and steadily, (not at all breathy, no matter no much sevika will pretend otherwise) say: "i'm so sorry to have to cut our conversation short, but it seems the blizzard's just knocked the power at our facilities out, and we have to go handle that before our heat goes next. we'll be sure to call you back as soon as possible."

oh, well i'm so sorry to hear that! i hope all your employees are safe! i must say, i thought people were being dramatic about the snow, but it must be awful bad where you are if-- you hang up.

"fuck!" you shout, throwing the phone back down on your desk. sevika growls against your tits, and it a second, shes standing, keeping you on her cock with a solid grip on your ass.

she drops you on the couch, not losing her rhythm for a moment as she balances on top of you. eventually, she has to breathe, and she pulls away from your tits with a gasp. "i fucking love you." she whimpers. you giggle.

"i love y-you too, sev." you whisper.

"louder, baby, nobody's listenin' anymore." she demands. you whimper, clenching around her cock, and she chuckles, one of her hands darting down to rub at your clit.

"s-sevika! baby, i love you, i love you!" you gasp. she grins.

"there you go."

"i love you, please, i'm so close you're gonna-- i'm gonna-- sev, i just-- you--"

"whaddya need baby? anything, anything."

"kiss?" you whimper.

sevika cums at the word, her eyes rolling back in her skull and her arms shaking as she tries to keep her pace. it's so hot, and you're so close, and she keeps fucking you even as her cum starts to leak out of you--

and then she tears her eyes open, gasps, and smashes her mouth against yours.

you fall apart, cumming and clencing sevika's sensitive cock hard. so hard, in fact, "oh, b-baby, i!" sevika collapses against you, her cock pulsing inside of you a few more times, and you gasp.

the moment you catch your breath, you burst into giggles.

"did you just cum again?" you ask. "twice in one minute, sev?!"

"fffuck offff." she mumbles against your tits.

"that.. was so hot." you say. she giggles now too.

"g'night."

"sevika." you tug her bun. "it's the middle of the day."

"i'm done. g'night."

"c'mon." you pout, gently tapping her cheek, trying to get her to open her eyes. "we'll have a warm shower and i'll make hot chocolate? with whiskey? we'll turn the phones off, okay? cuddle in bed a bit?" you bribe. she peeks one eye open.

"can i eat you out in bed?" she asks. you snort.

"i was thinking bed would be more like a nap, babe."

"mmm. can i eat you out in the shower?"

"you can eat me out after our nap."

"can i wake you up with it?" she asks, a sparkle in her eye. you roll your eyes.

"only if you actually let me sleep. and you try to sleep too, okay?" you ask. she nods. "one hour, at least." you demand. she pouts, but nods again, and you burst into laughter. "kiss." you voice your final demand. sevika grins, and leans in happily.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub

[ineed-to-sleep]

Tagged by @seldaryne <3

I'm tagging @alongtidesoflight , @peachshroom , @boghermit to share some BG3 oc info if you'd like! ^^

And anyone who wants to do this, pls consider yourself tagged and feel free to tag me so I can see your oc!

Name: Nawen Farlong

Nickname(s): No specific nicknames, though she does get "darling" from Astarion and "soldier" from Karlach. She's generally more often the one that gives people nicknames instead of receiving them skdhakd Astarion gets "angel" and "kitten" a lot, Shadowheart gets "my heart" and "my love" and Karlach usually gets "general"(a lot of the nicknames she gives were initially meant with sarcasm, but after a while became actual terms of endearment).

Pronouns: She/her

Star sign: Whatever the in-universe equivalent of a scorpio is

Height: 5'3" with the attitude of 6'4"

Orientation: Everyone is game. If she were a romance option, rest assured you could probably romance her, as long as you're being a cunt ♡

Race: Half-drow

Romancing: Astarion, but it's kinda hard to tell unless you spend a long time with them. Astarion isn't 100% comfortable with touching and she's not fond of PDA(she gets all light headed and giggly with physical affection and she hates being seen like that by most people. it breaks the bad bitch fantasy). You could see them occasionally flirting or teasing each other but they're also just Like That with most people, so it's hard to tell if they're really an item. They mostly look like coworkers. Partners in crime if you will.

Favorite fruit: She doesn't really have a particular favorite. She likes melon pies and cranberry wine, so by association she might feel more inclined to like those fruits, but nothing she's too crazy about.

Favorite season: She generally likes fall and spring, when it's not too hot out but not too cold either. Wearing too many layers of clothing makes her feel trapped and constrained, and as much as she likes showing skin, warmer temperatures make wearing armor extra uncomfortable, so middle of the road is her favorite.

Favorite flower: It's a tie between lavender and jasmine- lavender providing one of her favorite scents and jasmine one of her favorite teas. She's also fond of water lilies, graceful reminders of the wetlands she grew up in.

Favorite scent: She's never been one for dedicated worship but loves the smell of incense you usually find in temples. She rarely gets inside temples, but when she does she usually comes out with at least a couple "borrowed" incense sticks. Her favorite varieties are lavender and rosemary scents. Other than that, she likes very subtle perfumes that you can only really smell if you get your nose right up on her neck.

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: Tea. Coffee tends to make her shaky and more anxious, and hot chocolate tends to be a bit too sweet for her tastes. Tea usually helps calm her nerves, so she feels encouraged to drink it quite often.

Average sleep hours: This woman is paranoid and right after popping out of the nautiloid she gets maybe a total of 2-4 hrs of sleep a night. She knows she needs to sleep to function like a human being the next day, but because of a constant fear of attack and distrust for her companions, her sleep time is sectioned and she wakes up several times during the night because there was a weird noise or her internal clock said "ok you've had enough, get up and do the rounds for the 100th time". She always gets up earlier than everyone else. She gets a bit more comfortable as she starts to trust the people around her, but bad habits die hard and it'll be years before she can get an actual full night of rest.

Dogs or cats: She likes animals in general, and her favorites are little mice(quick, can get in and out of places really easily, make for great messengers and easy-to-hide-in-your-pocket pets), but if she had to choose between cats and dogs, cats would probably win, just because they're usually quieter companions and she feels she has more in common with them than with dogs.

Dream trip: She's been to most major cities along the sword coast and is honestly a little bit sick of the place by now. She also has a bit of an aversion to the underdark due to having her differences with some of the locals. Overall, she would love to visit other places in Faerun, maybe farther up north. She's also always been curious about Candlekeep, not because of the endless book collection, but because of rumors of hidden magic and strange creatures living beneath its halls.

Amount of blankets: None at all, if she can help it. Blankets can get in the way if you need to get up quickly in the middle of the night or struggle with an attacker- not that it's happened to her before, noo, nothing embarrassing like that. But she'd rather prevent any mishaps.

Random fact(s):

She gets new piercings on her ears by the beginning of act 3, courtesy of Shadowheart, and helps her change her hair in return.

She and Karlach have the most unexpected friendship and she would probably die for Karlach while Karlach really believes she could fix her.

She's a magic nerd and can often keep up with Gale when discussing the arcane(usually alienating everyone else in the party from the conversation).

She fights with double rapiers instead of double daggers or swords because she understood, from a very early age, how to serve cunt.

[sorceresssundries]

Janet from HR's Banter/Dialogue

Thank you for the asks around Janet's party banter! There were a few crossovers, so instead of doing separate responses i'll put them all here and tag the people who asked about it!

There were a few, so i'll put them under the cut!

Thanks @mumms-the-word @lanafofana @residentdormouse and @briwhosaysni ! <3

If you'd like to do this for your Tav, the link is here!

2. Spam clicking on them too many times Stop it! Before I make an official complaint. 

3. Directing them to attack/move in combat Fine, but after this I want a glass of wine and a lie down.

4. Hiding/sneaking/hidden movement Don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious… 

5. Taking a short rest Time for a nap and a cry. Then back to it.

6. Low health/asking for healing Just leave me to die actually, i’m so sick of this.

13. Picking a lock Good job I've got a messy bun full of bobby pins.

12. Encountering a locked door No way through, can we go home now?

14. Looking at a Globe I’m taking a fucking holiday when this is all over. I need a tan, a mojito, and a dirty book. 

17. Looking in a mirror Fucking hell. Has anyone got any concealer?

19. Noticing a trap Don’t you lot have fucking magic elf vision or something? How come i’m the only one to spot that very obvious trap.

20. Can’t fit into a small hole Nah, sorry love. Not without a whole lot of lube.

26. Party banter with Gale

Gale: It is in the aftermath of battle, when the haze of the Weave lingers from the sparks of magic, that the memory of Mystra’s embrace feels most vivid. It's as if she’s still guiding my hands, her presence intertwined with every thread of magic I spin. 

Janet: I’m not gonna lie man, she sounds like a real bitch. 

28. Party banter with Karlach

Janet: You know, my ex didn’t have a heart either

Karlach: What?! That’s awful! Gods, soldier - i’m so sorry. That must have been really tough for you. Did he get sent to the blood war too?

Janet: Oh.. no.. I meant… Never mind. Thanks Karlach.

32. Party banter with Jaheira

Janet: Hey babe, my friend Shannon does my botox and she’d work wonders on you.

Jaheira: *glares* She would approach me with a needle? Does this Shannon value her life? 

Janet: Not really, she’s a pisces. 

34. Party banter with Minsc

Janet: I got my kids a hamster once

Minsc: Ah! Then you must know what tough and wise companions they make!

Janet: I accidentally sucked it up in the hoover after a week. They’re not that tough