#soldier boy x pregnant!reader
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nymphie66 · 1 year ago
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God Bless America pt 3
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Part One
Part Two
Description: Things are back on track between you and Ben, and you've found a sort of peace. Vought is determined to ruin that.
Author's note: This hyperfixation is really serving. This may be the last part of this mini-fic, as I've literally just been writing things as they've entered my mind and they just happen to be cohesive. But who knows! Uni starts up again imminently, hopefully I'll catch a break. Feel free to send in prompts or scenarios and I could probably bang something drabbley out. Also, thank you everyone for your support, I love each and every one of you motherfuckers.
Warnings: gore, darkfic -kinda, this came out slightly fluffy (don't know what happened there lol), mentions of pregnancy, mentions of sex, swearing, implied forced testing, cringey language
S/N : Supe Name
Suit: random office worker that I didn't bless with a name or description
---
You span in your desk chair in absolute boredom, hands on your swollen belly, the only modicum of joy you got was from the movements of your darling baby, only four more months to go now.
Which is why you were sat in said desk chair, in a Vought meeting room with a bunch of suits from HR and legal, negotiating over your maternity leave and, much to his horror, Ben's paternity leave.
He couldn't understand why he would have to take time off as well. As he put it "My part is done, I got my soldiers to your base, your turn to lead the charge." After saying such a thing he promptly had the nearest object in your vicinity thrown at him.
You tried to explain to him, that you would need help as the pregnancy progressed, that there could be complications leaving you bed-bound till it was time to push the little one out into the world, that you could even be hospitalised. You expected him to put his fingers in his ear and start singing the national anthem at you, desperate to drown you out, but what happened instead shocked you.
He stilled, and you could see the thoughts churning in his head, and gradually his brow furrowed and he turned away from you. You walked towards him, arms encircling his waist, face pressed against his back, the texture of his soft cotton jersey brushing against your cheek. You knew exactly what he was doing.
Ben cleared his throat and took a sharp inhale of breath. He couldn't show weakness in front of you, especially not now. It wasn't the manly- let alone fatherly- thing to do. But he felt that resolve weaken by the way you held him so tenderly, leaned into his back so softly. It reminded him of the earlier days in your relationship, when you trusted him so blindly, believed in him so faithfully.
He'd get home from work, usually in a pissy mood, ranting and raving about whatever fuckery his team had put him through. And you would be there, smile on your lips, eyes filled with joy just at the sight of him. You'd listen, never probe but when he was just winding himself up, you would circle your arms around his waist and press your face into his back, leaning on him for support. The action was simple but made him feel like he was your whole world, that he was all you needed, that he was enough.
Things were better now. Ben had followed your instruction to the morbid T, and in turn, you allowed his presence, tolerated it even, though you soon fell back into the trap of loving him wholeheartedly again. The way he doted on you, adored you, the way you were 'his girl' again.
It didn't mean that things were perfect - far from it. You still had the occasional shouting match that led to the replacement of many crushed/shattered mobile phones, and though you wouldn't admit it, your attachment to Ben had become positively possessive. If his gaze strayed from you for more than a minute, you could feel yourself freeze up, a blend of uncouth rage and desperation flooding you that was only sated when he looked back at you again. You were needy, and it was pathetic- to you, not to him, he found it hot as fuck and told you so.
Ben would press a hand to your lower back, hover smugly above your ear and whisper assurances to you, though they were less than PG. Often involving a detailed description of him fucking you in front of whoever you were jealous of. You blamed the pregnancy hormones, but every time he did it you wanted him to make good on his promises and you quickly escorted him to a (mostly) private section of wherever you were.
In fact, as you sat there, listening to the drone of legal and HR, you realised that you had been in this meeting room before. Though you could hardly blame yourself, you didn't really take in decor when you bent over the conference table, getting your brains fucked out. You cursed yourself for not making Ben read that pregnancy book earlier, ever since he found out making you cum was good for the baby, the man was on a mission - not that he wasn't before, but there was definitely an added level of determination that you appreciated.
"So it's agreed? S/N will start her maternity leave now and once she reaches her third trimester Soldier Boy will start his paternity leave." Your Vought legal representative consolidated. You tuned back into the conversation, hopeful that this meeting was finally coming to an end.
"Agreed, we have already arranged for the samples to be taken in the next half-hour if S/N is ready?" The other suit asked, casting you an expectant look. You froze, your hand gripping your bump and leaned forward, a panicked look directed to your rep, but before you could continue the suit continued. "May I remind S/N that it is in her signed contract that sample matter from a resulting pregnancy is legally Vought's to take. This includes amniotic fluid, blood and foetus tissue sample."
You felt your stomach lurch and you swallowed thickly, you didn't argue that it wasn't in your contract, it was exactly the type of sick and twisted clause Vought would stick in there.
"S/N?" Your legal rep asked, seemingly completely unbothered by what was going on. You didn't question if it was safe, nothing that Vought did was ever safe.
You surveyed the room, there was about eight people there, none of them particularly intimidating but that's not what you were worried about. They would have known you were going to show resistance and you now realised that the abundance of office workers was to merely lull you into a false sense of security. This meant one of three things. 1) There was a supe nearby ready to make you comply 2) One if not all of them had tranquillisers on them 3) all of the above.
Knowing Vought it was probably number three.
You could try and do a runner but you would get caught, you could try and fight them but that meant risking the baby. Whatever supe was going to show up would hardly care about your condition and who the fuck knew what Vought put in those tranquillisers.
Your eyes looked around the room, pretending to think about if you had any scheduled plans after this meeting. Your eyes settled on a wonky painting that had been hastily put back up- in fact, you had put that back up after it fell during your 'de-stressing session' with Ben.
Ben.
"Yes, I think that should be just fine." You smiled sweetly at them, "You wouldn't mind me calling my fiancé Be- Soldier Boy to let him know, would you? He likes to be included in anything related to the baby. Plus he would love to know that our little creation is helping advance the research at Vought. Anything for his country- you know him!"
You laughed and waved your hand, praying that they were convinced by your little show. They didn't know him, but it flew that Soldier Boy, the living and breathing embodiment of the good ol' red white and blue, would be behind such a thing. It was for his country after all.
"Great, that's just great. I'll call him now." You took the general shrugging from them as a go-ahead and quickly called Ben, mouthing 'busy man' to them with a big smile as it continued to ring, you were half afraid that he wasn't going to pick up until you heard his gruff voice on the end of the line.
"What baby? Can't even go to a meeting without-"
"-Ben, honey!" You smiled tensely as you cut him off his surely sordid sentence, and prayed that he could pick up on your forced cheeriness, from experience he should. Considering you only spoke in that tone to him when you were threatening to get rid of his baby or extreme violence. "I just wanted to let you know that Vought are going to collect some samples of our little star-spangled bugaboo. Amniotic fluid, blood, a bit of tissue matter, nothing our little super trooper can't handle, especially considering her old daddio! I was just hoping you would be able to join your darling doll at the doctor's, honeybuns."
You wanted to pull your own tongue out of your mouth, stuff it down your throat and throw it back up again.
"I will be right there."
And just like that the line dropped, you smiled, taking the phone away from your ear and holding it to your chest. You gave a thumbs up and chuckled nervously, "He's on his way!" You sat back down into your chair and exhaled, muttering the phrase to yourself again. "He's on his way.."
The time it took for Ben to get there was filled with awkward silence, interrupted only by the odd question from a curious suit about your pregnancy and the baby. Which was met with a vague and elusive answer. There was no way in hell you were going to give them any more information about it than what they already had.
Then finally, Ben appeared, bursting into the conference room decked out in his suit, hair dishevelled, panting ever so slightly, knuckles bruised. So you were right, there had been a supe nearby. He looked at you with a loving urgency and you stood up, one hand on your stomach as you nodded your head. You were okay, the both of you were, but more importantly, you were ready.
Ben landed the first hit and the HR manager's head rolled down the conference table like a bloody bowling ball. You struck next, your unhelpful rep ended up being useful for the first time in their life by acting as a human shield as you burst through their chest and clawed out the Head of Legal's throat. The others got out their tranqs - right again, but you unsheathed your forearm from your rep's chest and threw their body onto them, knocking them off their feet.
"Glad you got the message." You told him in relief as you crushed an approaching man's skull in your hand, blood decorating your face like gruesome confetti from a piñata. You quickly dropped him and continued walking towards your saviour.
"Well at first I thought you were trying something new-" Ben kicked another suit's chest in, smiling as he fell to the floor, there weren't many left now. "-but by daddio, I started to realise that something was wrong, darling doll and honeybuns was then just obvious"
"Oh so star-spangled-bugaboo and super trooper were fine, but you drew the line at daddio?" You laughed, hands on your hips as he finished the rest off. Happy that the threats had now been eliminated, Ben allowed himself to relax- slightly and turned to look at you.
You looked ravishing.
His little psycho.
Your hair was wild, no longer in the neat ponytail you had agonised over this morning. The blood that drenched your clothes hung to your curves perfectly, showed off your baby bump beautifully. The look light and love in your eyes? Intoxicating.
He quickly strove over and placed a firm hand on the back of your neck and pulled you closer to him. How could he have ever taken this- you- for granted. He would damn himself a hundred times and a hundred times more for it. You squeaked at the force behind his kiss but happily melted into it and for a brief moment you thought you were going to have reenact the last time the two of you had been there. If you ignored the background last time, you could ignore the blood, guts and gore that made it up now.
Unfortunately, Ben pulled away, pressing his forehead against your own. You whined and he smirked. "Sorry baby, but Butcher's waiting outside in the car, gotta get you and bugaboo out of here."
"That's not sticking!"
"It so is."
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lila-lou · 3 months ago
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Hello ☺️
I want to start writing a few specials for the Christmas season. If you have any wishes, please let me know 🩷
Love, Lou
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sergeantbarnessdoll · 2 months ago
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Mornings With All Of You » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier
Pairings: Husband/Dad!Bucky x Wife/Mom/Pregnant!Reader with kids Becca and James Jr
Summary: Bucky enjoys his morning with his wife and kids.
Warnings: Fluff, language, kissing, nicknames/pet names
A/N: Thank you @buckys-wintersoldier for brainstorming ideas with me🥰🩵
Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.
Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier
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“Mommy said to not wake up daddy.” Yours and Bucky’s 4 year old daughter, Becca says to her 2 year old brother James Jr.
“Dada.” James Jr says, pointing at the closed bedroom door.
Bucky just got home from a two week long mission and you’re letting him sleep in. You told the kids to let their daddy sleep, but they didn’t listen. They just want daddy’s attention and lovings.
Becca is the smart one. She gets that from you. She knows it’s bad to disobey what you tell her and her brother, but she’s a total daddy’s girl. If she wants to see her daddy, she’ll see her daddy.
She walked to the closed bedroom door and stood on her tippy toes to open it. She held onto the wall so she didn’t fall. She opened the door with ease and pushed it open. Becca turned to James Jr and put a finger against her lips, telling him to be quiet as they walked in the bedroom where their daddy is sleeping.
Bucky may have enhanced hearing, but surprisingly he didn’t hear the door open and his kids walk in the room. They somehow to manage to climb up the side of the bed to get on top of it. They crawled to him and snuggled themselves under the blanket and against Bucky’s sides.
They couldn’t hold their giggles in. Bucky’s eyes fluttered open when he heard his kids’ giggles. He looked on both sides of him, seeing them laying next to him.
“Good morning, daddy.” They say at the same time.
“Good morning, munchkins.” Bucky says happily.
Bucky sat up, leaning his back against the headboard of the bed.
“Where’s mommy?” He asks.
“Cooking and baking room.” Becca answers.
That’s what she calls the kitchen.
“Mommy make muffins.” Jame Jr tells him.
“What kind?” He asks.
“Chocolate chip blueberry!” Becca answers.
“Ooh, sounds good!” Bucky says.
Bucky got out of bed and carefully picked up his son and daughter in each arm, making them giggle uncontrollably. You put a tray of muffins on the kitchen counter and looked up when you heard the sound of giggles entering the kitchen. You smiled when you seen your husband and kids.
“I told them not to wake you up.” You say, kissing Bucky good morning.
“It’s fine, doll.” Bucky carefully placed them on the floor and they ran to the living room to watch cartoons. “I love it when they wake me up.” He says.
Bucky put his hands on your sides, rubbing them up and down. His hands slowly made their way to your 2 month pregnant belly, caressing it. He looked down at your belly with the look of love and adoration on his face.
“I can’t believe we have third one on the way.” He muses.
“You better believe it cause she’ll be here before we know it.” You mused with him, putting your hands on top of his.
“She?” Bucky playfully raised an eyebrow at you. “I think we’re going to have another boy.” He says.
“You just like to be right, don’t you, Sarge?” You giggled.
“I was right with James Jr.” He says with a proud smile.
You playfully rolled your eyes at your husband and kissed him. You wrapped your arms around his waist, wanting him to be close to you.
“Do you have to go to the compound today?” You asked.
“Nope.” Bucky answers. “Steve gave me the next couple of days off to spend with you and the kids.” He tells you.
“That’s good, because I missed you.” You put your chin on his chest, looking up at him. “I think the kids missed you more than me though.” You say.
“Our kids always find a way to out rank us.” He says.
You giggled softly. Bucky kissed your forehead, making you smile. As you two were pulling away from each other, the kids came running in the kitchen.
“Are the muffins done?” Becca asks, looking up at you.
“Yes.” You confirmed with a smile.
The kids cheered happily and excitedly, making you and Bucky smile down at the two little creations you two brought into this world. Bucky got the kids seated at the table in the dining room while you took breakfast in there. During breakfast, the kids told you and Bucky what they want to do today. Bucky listened to everything his son and daughter said with the look of adoration on his face.
After breakfast, you cleaned up while Bucky cleaned the kids up. They’re messy eaters. He got them dressed and then got himself dressed. He walked back in the kitchen at the same time you were finishing up with washing the dishes. He walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around you from behind and put his hands on your belly. You smiled and leaned into his touch.
“Do you know how much I love you?” Bucky asks softly, leaning his chin on your shoulder.
“You tell me about a billion times a day.” You say with a smile.
Bucky carefully spun you around so you were facing him. His hands were now on your waist, pulling you against his body.
“Let me tell you a billion times more.” He murmurs softly.
You wrapped your arms around his neck when he kissed you softly and sweetly. You two couldn’t help but smile against each other’s lips.
“Hey!” You and Bucky heard a small high pitched voice, already knowing it’s Becca.
You and Bucky laughed lightly and pulled away to see what she needed.
“That’s how you get cooties!” Becca exclaims.
“Me and daddy can’t get cooties, because we’re married.” You explained to your daughter. “Plus, daddy is a Super Soldier so it won’t affect him at all.” You tell her.
Becca stared at you like you just said the most interesting thing in the world. You walked past her and playfully ruffled her hair and went to the bedroom to get dressed. Becca didn’t miss the way Bucky was looking at you as you were walking away. He had the look of love and adoration on his face. She was curious to know why he was looking at you like that.
“Daddy?” Becca taps on Bucky’s leg to get his attention.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Bucky asks, picking her up and walked to the living room to sit down on the couch.
“Why do you look at mommy like that?” She asks curiously.
“Mommy is my wife and the love of my life. I love her with all of my heart. She makes me so happy.” He explains. “You and your brother make happy and I love you two as well.” He says, kissing her forehead.
“What about the baby in mommy’s belly?” She asks.
“I love the baby in mommy’s belly too. He or she is going to make me happy too.” He says happily.
You walked in the living room with James Jr in your arms and sat down on the couch next to Bucky and Becca.
“Daddy love you!” Becca blurts out.
“Oh, he does, does he?” You say.
“He said you’re his wife.” She says.
“He’s right. I am his wife.” You smile widely. “And I wouldn’t change it for the world.” You say, kissing Bucky’s cheek.
Becca and James Jr carefully slid off of yours and Bucky’s lap to play with their toys on the floor while cartoons played on the TV. You slid closer to Bucky, snuggling yourself against his side. Bucky wrapped his arm around you, gently rubbing your belly with his hand.
“I love mornings with all of you.” Bucky says softly and happily.
“Me too.” You say softly, leaning up to kiss him sweetly.
James Jr threw a stuffed animal at you and Bucky when he seen you two kissing.
“Yucky!” James Jr shouts loudly, making you and Bucky laugh.
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
-Bucky’s Doll
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lucysarah-c · 8 months ago
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Masterlist!
All my Levi x reader fanfics and Levi fanart
Art Commission: OPEN!
Writing Requests: CLOSED!
Headcanons and asks:
-> Little "toxic" things Levi does as a boyfriend
-> Levi dating a Swifty
-> Levi's s/o telling him she's pregnant
-> Virgin! Levi
-> Sexism in AoT
-> Homosexuality in AoT
-> Levi showing affection to his S/O in front of his kids
-> Levi having competition to wins your heart!
-> Canon! Levi (Scouts time) views on kids, marriage and romantic relationships
-> Alpha! Levi believes you would be a good mommy of his spawns
-> Wishing to be breed by Levi.
-> Levi accusing his partner of cheating?
-> Is Levi a virgin?
-> Is Levi conservative?
-> Levi's S/O with a contagious weird laugh
-> Levi in love
-> Connie having a crush on Levi's girlfriend
-> Levi reacting to his girlfriend giving birth
-> Petnames that Levi would use
-> Levi's reaction to his S/O getting assaulted NSFW
-> Levi's kinks
HEADCANONS MASTERLIST PART 2
I've reached the limit of this a single post by tumblr for links so. . . here's another masterlist lol.
One-Shots:
-> Ackerman’s blood
Levi fears for the first time that perhaps his Ackerman's powers aren't a bleassing when his son suffers the consequences of them. Dad! Levi x Reader
-> Stoppers (NSFW!!)
Levi feels overwhelming jealous and decides that there's nothing better to set things clear of who owns who than a good old fucking. Levi x Reader.
-> Criminal Record Part 1 - Part 2
Levi insist he has done worse things in his life than, perhaps, sleeping with a subordinate.
-> Traidor
2020 what a time to be alive. The snk character are doing the same as old of us trying to survive the lockdown... playing among us! Levi x reader.
-> Father’s day
Having a soldier as a father is never easy, way less when your father is Humanity's strongest soldier. Levi's kid has the perfect gift but perhaps it's not the perfect scenario. Dad! Levi x Mom! reader
-> Couple goals
Levi hates military's formal events and you know it. Both of you still make the perfect team.
-> Baby boy
Hang out with your higher-ups as you just become Levi's girlfriend. What's the worse thing that could happen? Spoiler alert: Eren is not going to forget about this... neither Erwin.
-> Scratches down his back NSFW-ish
Repeat after me, nothing good happens in the common showers unless it’s Levi sandwiching you with the wet wall. Sadly, this is not the case. So, nothing good will happen. 
-> Blackfire
Erwin insists that Levi should educate his squad on certain topics proper of their age. Levi isn't really convinced but Commander's orders are Commander's orders… However, Erwin didn't specify on what he should educate his bratty cadets about. Levi x reader!
-> ANGEL
You met Captain Levi while working as a teacher at one of the new orphanages that Queen Historia created. He seems so willying to help. (YANDERE! Levi x reader NSFW!!)
-> Tea time
Levi is deep down a huge gossip old lady. Levi x reader
-> An Old-fashioned Girl
You're a teen living her normal life until she travelled back on time to aot period.
-> Self-sabotage
Erwin begs Levi to buy him a coffee on his way to university. Having a crush in a barista is so hard when you don't like coffee. (Modern au! University student Levi having a crush on a barista)
-> Not in season? NSFW! Part 1 - Part 2
Winter had settled in, and the scouts were busy training and preparing for the prospects of spring, still far away, to retake Wall Maria. Despite the snow accumulating outside, the building was freezing cold, and the world had secluded itself until the temperature rose. So, why was Captain Levi boiling in his own body? Something felt off, but his mind was quickly slipping into insanity as he tried to find a rational explanation. OMEGAVERSE ALPHA LEVI X OMEGA READER.
-> Levi and the first encounter! Underground! Levi
Tales of Levi's life in the underground.
-> EXPLANATION OMEGAVERSE AU
-> Fifteen, what an age to be alive!
Steal your father's car! What could go wrong? Dad! Levi x Mom! Reader
-> Laundry Problems
Levi's a very stoic calm man. He always does laundry but as a unknown piece of clothe appear, Levi's life flash before his eyes. Levi x reader
-> Bed-head Levi
How are Captain Levi's mornings?
-> Boop! You've been chosen!
Levi and you decide to adopt a kitty.
-> My Teen! Levi's modern AU stories.
There's a lot of them so here's a link to all of them.
-> EUPHEMISMS (NSFW-ish)
Levi may not have attended school, but he knows a thing or two about pregnancy… and also periods. (Levi takes care of you during your period)
-> Transactional (PURE NSFW!!!)
When you go to ask Captain Levi for a promotion, it's important to remain humble.
-> Mother's smile (Dad! Levi angst)
Levi's son feels the pressure of being an Ackerman.
Little Pieces I Wrote (Self-Explanatory Titles).
-> Levi isn't romantic
-> Levi as a father part 1 part2
-> Unpopular aot opinions
-> Levi growing up in the underground 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
-> Levi's morning with happy ending NSFW
-> Sick clingy Levi NSFWish
-> Soft Levi NSFWish
-> Horny Levi x nurse! reader NSFW
-> Levi x Passenger princess reader
-> Travelling with Levi
-> Girlfriend effect on Levi!
-> Levi loving calling his girlfriend "wife"
-> Levi and farlan as roomies
-> Levi as the father of a baby boy
-> Being humanity's strongest baby girl
-> SnK boys and pilates.
-> Levi's baby thinks Levi's tight chess works as mommy's chest lol
-> Erwin finds out that now Levi is busy at night 👀
-> Levi's only weakness... You, you and a sundress
-> Sexually frustrated Levi
-> Levi = female gaze
-> Levi using you as an excuse for anything
-> Modern au! Levi was a very attentive fuck buddy, even more attentive as a boyfriend.
-> Your horse doesn't want to share you with Levi.
-> Levi's daughter
-> Erwin introduce you to Levi
-> Rambling about gossip to your boyfriend while stealing his food >>> anything else
-> Deadly Occasion (Levi is forced to marry someone else) NSFW
-> Drunk Levi? Better say needy Levi! NSFW
-> Walking down the streets with Levi
-> Princess treatment + Levi
Mounting Spring (Alpha! Levi x Omega! Reader)
Paradis has opened its doors to the world, and the Rumbling has not yet occurred. The military board insists, "We need more Ackermans!" to avoid ruining Mikasa's life. Levi agrees. Arranged marriage, explicit consent, Omegaverse. Alpha! Levi x Omega! Y/N. Mentions of underage marriage but it doesn't happen, the reader is over 21. Age gap but they are both adults.
Levi's horrible flirting skills!
Short multichapter where we follow Levi's awkward attempts to win the reader over.
Holy Ground (longfic! Levi x reader)
"Alright, get comfortable because this is going to be a long, crappy tale. Join me as we travel down memory lane, back when Erwin wasn't yet a commander, when Mike and Nanaba couldn't keep their hands off each other, when Hange was... well, Hange. And Levi? Well, Levi was a twenty-four-year-old man who didn't give a damn about the rules. Are you ready?"
600! Followers event!
Have you ever wished you could ask Captain Levi a few questions and see his reaction? Well! say no more! I left Levi incharge of my blog for a few days. Enjoy the comic with hisreactions!
2k! Followers event!
Have you ever wished you could ask Captain Levi a few questions and see his reaction? Well! say no more! I left Levi incharge of my blog for a few days. Enjoy the comic with hisreactions! Part 2! Levi's revenge.
SnK Incorrect Quotes:
63 and COUNTING silly posts of quotes that I think snk characters would say.
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You think that art looks cute? I draw it! Here's a link to a few of my other pieces!
WANNA JOIN MY TAG LIST SO YOU DON’T LOSE A SINGLE POST? HERE!
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ellecdc · 7 months ago
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hello! would you maybe be willing to consider writing a kind of follow-up to the poly moonwater fics where reader is pregnant? maybe when she has the babies and everyone’s reactions?? ty for reading my request🙏
I love this little family so damn much 😭🫶
poly!moonwater x afab!reader who gives birth to their twins
CW: pregnancy, hormonal fits, brief discussion of Regulus' childhood, brief discussion of Remus' childhood, going into labour, portrayal of breastfeeding though nothing is described, Barty losing his fucking mind, Uncle Sirius for Best Uncle 2024, also the babies look like their daddies to avoid describing/labelling the mother's features
Remus felt for you. He really, really did.
But also, he was a little afraid of you.
Scratch that, he was very afraid of you.
But his sympathy for you ran deeper than his fear, which is how he found himself sitting in one of the (many) gliders Regulus has purchased for every room in your shared home as you fought to find a comfortable position in your bed.
And yes, your bed.
Because you had since kicked Remus and Regulus out of your shared bed.
And though they didn’t feel particularly bad about it, you claimed it was their fault.
You see, after a particularly worrisome fall - that took place  at six and a half months pregnant (with twins, no less) as you missed a step on your way up the stairs of your townhouse - unfortunately for you, and fortunately for Remus and Regulus, it happened in front of all of your friends one night when they were over for dinner, which resulted in a lot of fussing by James and Sirius, and caused Barty to go marching upstairs and begin moving all of your furniture and belongings into the spare room on the main floor.
“Like fuck my Treasure is navigating these stairs in her condition. The two of you are sodding useless; this should have been done months ago.” He spat venomously as Evan shouted at him that it was “not polite to reconfigure someone else's house without permission.”
You vehemently protested the move.
Regulus and Remus didn’t think it was such a bad idea.
Because of their ‘betrayal’ (read: their lack of support in your arguments against your most capricious friend devotee), the boys were not allowed in ‘your room’.
So, perhaps Remus was already pushing the limits by taking up residence in the glider as you tried and failed to find a comfortable position to read in, determined to take a nap. 
“The babes giving you grief, dove?” He asked softly, earning him a derisive scoff from you. 
“What do you think?” You spat. 
Remus grimaced but decided to soldier on. “They may be ready to come any day now.”
That was the wrong thing to say if your quick glare was anything to go by.
“No they are not.”
“Dove,” he started, closing his own book and leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he considered you. “Anywhere from 34 to 38 weeks is full term for twins. The fact you’ve made it to 35 is incredible, baby.”
Your lips pinched as your brows dipped, and Remus was sure you were close to tears. “No, I’m not ready, I-” you let out a breath as you cut yourself off, alerting Remus to the fact that you were about to give away the sex of (one of) the babies. “Baby B, they need more time.” You admitted, voice quieter as if you were afraid saying it any louder would somehow jinx it and trigger your own labour. 
“They’re going to come when they’re ready.” He repeated.
He left the room after you threw your book at him. 
He followed the sounds coming from the kitchen where he found Regulus on his hands and knees underneath the cabinets, of which he’d emptied of all their contents.
The second Regulus found out that the three of you were expecting twins, and due to the nature of the superfetation and thus the risks involved, he quit his job and strong-armed (read: lightly encouraged) Remus to do the same. 
And while Remus focused on catering to you and ensuring you were comfortable (or…as comfortable as humanly possible when you had two little freaks using your organs as trampolines) and well fed, Regulus focused on…whatever this was.
“Reggie?”
“Mhm?” He responded quickly, voice muffled from where his head was still shoved deep within the lower cabinets.
“What are you doing?”
Regulus shifted and his head made a painful thump sound when it connected with the top of the cabinet before he pulled himself out of it.
“Cleaning.”
One of Remus' brows arched at that. “The lower cabinets?”
“Right.”
“Why?”
Regulus rubbed the back of his head as he looked between Remus and the mess he was currently surrounded by in the name of ‘cleaning’. 
“Well…the babies-”
“Won’t be concerned with the lower cabinets.” Remus cut him off, looking down at his boyfriend lovingly.
Remus watched as Regulus took a deep breath and deflated significantly. 
Remus pushed aside some large pots and various cleaning products as he joined Regulus on the floor and pulled him closer by the ankle. 
“What’s going on inside that head of yours, love?” He asked him quietly, rubbing his thumb along his Achilles tendon as Regulus seemed to organise his thoughts.
“I don’t think I’m going to go back to work.” Regulus blurted finally.
Remus fought to school his expression as he tilted his head in consideration. “Ever?”
Regulus shook his head and rested his chin on his knees. “I don’t know. Maybe just part time or something…I just- I don’t…I don’t want to be like him.”
“Like who, sweetheart?”
“Like my father.” Regulus bit out, bitterness colouring his tone. “Avoiding my family and responsibilities by hiding at work. Coming home to find out the babies have done something wonderful and I missed it. I…I want to be here, and I’m afraid; I’m afraid I’ll be more like him than I mean to be.”
Remus smiled sadly at Regulus as he squeezed his ankle twice. “I already know you’ll be nothing like him, my star. Considering you’re so worried about it, I know you’ll be 100 times the father he was. But, I’ll be here to make sure that stays true, okay?”
Regulus’ eyes met Remus’, and he felt his heart squeeze at the redness rimming Regulus’ eyes as they turned glassy. 
“I’ll take care of you - both of you; all of you. You’ll never have to want for anything, you know that right?” Regulus stated urgently. 
Remus smiled softly at him as he nodded. “I know, love.”
“You could stay home indefinitely too, you know.” Regulus offered shyly. 
Remus chuckled. “You just don’t want to have to face our little mama bear all by yourself.” He teased. 
Regulus chuckled in response but his eyes morphed into a lovesick gaze as he stared unseeingly out the archway of the kitchen. “She’s just uncomfortable and stressed right now.”
“She’s gonna be such a good mum.” Remus agreed quickly.
“The best.”
“We’re so lucky.”
“Rem? Reg?” Your voice sounded from the hall before your form hobbled into the archway as you used the door frame for support.
“What’s the matter?” Regulus asked quickly, kicking his feet out and sending various pots toppling over on the tile floor.
Whatever you had been on your way to say seemed to be placed on the back burner as your brows pinched and your eyes darted across the chaos that was currently your kitchen.
“What were you doing in here?” You asked slightly breathlessly. Both Remus and Regulus stood sheepishly.
“Erm, uh….cleaning?” Regulus answered in the form of a question.
One of your brows raised as you continued scanning the mess. “You’re not very good at it.”
“What did you need, dove?” Remus asked gently.
Your face softened as you looked up at him worriedly. 
“I think my water broke.”
You could have heard a pin drop in the messy kitchen as Remus and Regulus stood staring at you dumbfoundedly. 
“You…” Regulus started before clearing his throat. “You think?”
You grimaced as you looked down to your stomach sheepishly. “No I…I’m quite sure. I think-” You paused to suck in a breath through your teeth. “I think it’s time.”
The breath that followed the end of your sentence bordered on a groan and the boys jumped to action. 
“Okay, come here amour.” Regulus said gently as he supported you with one hand on your elbow and the other on your lower back and he guided you to a chair in the dining room. “Rem, can you grab the babies’ bags?”
“On it.” He answered quickly and went running to the nursery to grab two matching nappy bags. Merlin, babies come with a lot of stuff.
“Are you grabbing our bag?” Remus called to Regulus who was then running up the stairs to the ensuite bedroom.
“Oui! Amour’s bag is in her closet.”
“Got it!”
Regulus and Remus reconvened in the living room with four bags, two baby carriers, and enough panic to fill an olympic swimming pool.
“Okay, baby bags have nappies?” Regulus asked, reading off a list in his hands.
“Check.” Remus responded.
“Snappies?”
“Check.”
“Blankets?”
“Check.”
“Hats and booties?”
“Got it.”
“Okay. And who packed mama’s bag?”
“She did.”
Regulus let out a relieved sigh. “Okay, no need to check that one then.”
Remus offered him an unimpressed look as he re-zipped the babies’ bags and threw them over his shoulder.
“Okay, you grab the carriers and our bag, I’ll grab the rest.” Remus instructed, which Regulus complied as they stepped up to the floo.
“Alright, St. Mungo’s.” Remus said clearly as the flames surged green and the two men stepped through to the intake room of the magical hospital.
Both men were breathless as they nearly collided with the desk where an unimpressed mediwix looked them both up and down.
“We’re checking into the maternity ward; our partner has gone into labour.” Remus explained in an exhale.
The mediwix moved his gaze between both men, their stomachs, and the various belongings they were carrying.
“Right,” he drawled before his eyes returned to Remus’. “And, your partner?”
“Y/N L/N.” Regulus added quickly, causing the mediwix to move his judgmental stare to him.
“Right….and where is she?”
Both men spun to face each other in a mixture of horror and embarrassment.
Remus rounded the corner of the kitchen to find you sitting where Regulus had left you, one hand massaging a point of your stomach as you considered him with a look full of judgement and mirth. 
“Where’s Reg?” You goaded as Remus helped you up from your chair and started making the slow trek back towards the floo flames; his face burning hot with shame that he was sure was spreading to the tips of his ears and well down his chest. 
“He was too embarrassed.” He admitted quietly.
You sounded like you were getting ready to laugh when you doubled over and a pained whimper escaped your lips.
Remus quickly bent down so he had one hand on each of your arms, trying to help keep you upright.
“I’m sorry sweetheart, I’m sorry. We’re going to get you in a bed and feeling better, okay?”
You whimpered again and looked up at Remus sadly. “I’m sorry.” You cried quietly.
“Dove.” He admonished sadly. “What on earth are you sorry for?”
You took in two large breaths as you tried to breathe around the pain. “You have to do this every month.”
Remus wanted to cry. For you, or for himself, he wasn’t sure. He loved you so sodding much he couldn’t even tell what exactly it was about what you said that touched him so much.
“You’re so much stronger and braver than I am though, dovey. So if I can get through it, I know you can too, yeah?” He offered softly, pressing a kiss to your temple.
“I’m only brave because I learned it from you.” You gritted out through a sob. 
“We can argue about this later, okay? Let’s get you checked in; I’m sure the mediwix is glaring daggers at Regulus for having abandoned his pregnant partner.”
He managed to coerce a small laugh out of you which he considered a win before you both stepped through the flames. 
Remus didn’t grow up expecting much out of life.
Bitten at only four years old, he was certain something would go wrong with his little body during one of his transformations and he’d be dead long before he ever hit Hogwarts age.
He couldn’t attend muggle school growing up due to his affliction and the risk of performing accidental magic in front of muggles.
Though he was certain he was going to die before age 11, he was even more certain that should he make it to 11, he’d never be accepted into Hogwarts.
When he was accepted into Hogwarts, he was certain he’d never make any friends.
When he made friends, he was certain they’d hate him if they found out about his lycanthropy.
When his friends accepted him for his lycanthropy, well….he never imagined he’d be so lucky as to find a partner who was just as accepting.
Let alone two.
For as long as Remus Lupin could remember, he never imagined ever feeling as much love or as loved as he currently felt in this exact moment.
Not only did he have two people who he loved beyond measure, but those two people gifted him two of the most perfect, tiny little beings he could have never imagined possible.
And suddenly - sitting here in a hospital room with you resting in a bed with your eyes closed as Regulus wiped lovingly at your face with a damp cloth, with a tiny little black-haired baby swaddled to perfection fast asleep in a see-through bassinet on your other side, and with an even tinier fawn-haired baby snuggled perfectly into Remus’ bare chest - every single full moon was worth it.
Every broken bone, every scar, every ache and pain and sleepless night that brought him here was absolutely, without a doubt, worth it. 
“Knock knock!” Remus could hear Lily murmur quietly yet brightly from behind the closed hospital door.
“That is so cringey, Red. Why wouldn’t you just knock?” Sirius muttered. 
“Because!” She hissed back and he could hear what sounded like Sirius being swatted with her purse. “They could be sleeping! I don’t want to startle them with a loud knock.”
“Oh yeah, Rem and Reg are definitely gonna piss their pants at the sound of you knocking on the door. Shouldn’t mama be all drugged up right now anyway?”
You chuckled under your breath as you peeled open one of your eyes to look over at Remus who was looking at you with a matching smile as you listened to Sirius being walloped three more times.
“Okay, well, you guys settle this out here then.” James decided as he pushed the door open.
He smiled at you and Regulus before his eyes met Remus’ form in a glider as he was currently doing skin-to-skin with his miniature doppelganger. 
James made a very embarrassing cooing sound (if you asked Remus) as he made his way into the room, tiptoeing like he was avoiding invisible trip wires. 
Lily and Sirius stopped their scuffle as they followed James in, beaming widely at Remus.
“Oh my Godric, Moony.” Lily cooed, looking awfully close to tears as the nickname so unusual out of Lily’s mouth caused Remus’ eyes to well up similarly. “It’s you as a baby!”
“Who was right? Girl or boy?” Sirius asked quickly, daring to reach forward and lovingly stroke a finger along the downy soft skin on the baby’s cheek.
Remus snorted and Regulus groaned. 
“Girl, Pads.”
“Yes!” Lily and Sirius cheered quietly as they gave each other double high fives, clearly over whatever tiff they were having in the hallway mere moments ago.
“Better luck next time, Reggie.” James called towards him, causing you to narrow your eyes dangerously at your friend.
“Wait.” James said as he caught sight of a little something in a bassinet behind Regulus. “WAIT.”
“What?” Sirius asked, craning his neck to see what James was looking at.
“No…” Lily breathed out disbelievingly.
“Twins?!” Sirius shrieked.
“What?” Regulus asked derisively, and Remus had to work really hard to keep his face neutral at that.
“Wha-” James started, violently whipping his head back and forth between the two infants in the room. “What do you mean, what!?”
“There’s two!” Sirius exclaimed.
Your mouth dropped open in ‘shock’ as you looked at Sirius aghast. “You see the other one too?”
The room fell painfully silent as James, Lily, and Sirius all looked bemusedly between the family of five before Remus couldn’t take it anymore and started giggling. 
His daughter began to stir from the rumbling of his chest causing Regulus to scoff in faux admonishment.
“Would you knock that off, Remus; you’re going to give her shaken baby syndrome.” He muttered before he was gently prying the tiny infant from Remus’ chest and wrapping her up in a blanket before holding her close to his chest.
“Mama.” Lily breathed out. “Two!?”
“Two.” You confirmed. Remus delighted at the shy yet proud smile you adorned as you tucked your chin to your chest. 
Throwing his jumper back on, he moved over to perch on the opposite side of your bed and pulled the little bassinet closer to the two of you.
“Are they both girls?” Lily asked.
“Yes.” Remus laughed, causing Sirius to cackle from where he stood looking over Regulus’ shoulder at one of his nieces. 
“You were wrong twice little brother!”
“Sod off, Sirius.”
Sirius smacked Regulus up the back of the head. “You watch your mouth around my nieces, hellion.” 
“Isn’t hellion a swear word?” James queried.
“It’s not a swear, it’s a noun.” Sirius explained.
“But then wouldn’t fuck be a verb?” Remus asked, causing the room to fall silent as everyone pondered that for a moment.
The silence didn’t last long as the sound of two heavy footfalls grew in volume before they stopped abruptly in front of the hospital room.
“Am I too late!?” Barty screeched (albeit quietly) into the room as he and Evan stood in the doorway catching their breaths.
“Too late for…what, Junior? What did you think was happening here?” James asked.
“Shut up.” Barty spat as he moved into the room, shoving past everyone to press kisses against your forehead. 
“My beautiful, sweet Treasure. All this work for two tossers. We could still run away, yeah? You, me and the baby; just say the word.” 
“Try babies, Junior.” Sirius taunted, causing Barty to straighten up so quickly he nearly collided with Lily as he turned to look at Sirius incredulously. 
“What!?”
Sirius smirked as he pointed to the baby in Regulus’ arms as Barty moved to inspect the tawny-haired babe.
“A Lupin. That’s too bad.” Barty muttered quietly, causing Regulus to kick at his shin and you to shout a reproachful ‘Bartemus!”.
“And there.” Sirius continued, pointing to where Remus was picking up a black-haired babe from a clear bassinet to pass into your waiting arms. 
“A Black!? Even worse!” Barty shrilled.
“Barty!” You chided again, though the smile playing at your lips severely diminished the severity of your tone.
“Oh, oh gods, oh my. I-” 
Barty didn’t seem to know where to look; pained puffs of air leaving his lungs as he spun comedically on the spot, dividing his attention between you and the two baby girls.
“Rosier, your boyfriend’s about to combust.” Lily teased as she leaned back into James who quickly wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. 
“Barty.” Evan tried, causing Barty to look at him in horror.
“There’s two!”
Even Evan seemed to find some humour in the state of his boyfriend as his lips quirked up into a smirk. “Yes, babe. I counted that many as well.”
“Two!?” He shouted again as he turned his sights on you.
“How’d….How’d you have two in there!?” He barked as he pointed accusatively at your stomach.
“Magic?” You asked shyly, looking down at your daughter who was beginning to fuss.
“Way to go, Junior. You’ve upset her.” Sirius grumbled.
“She’s hungry.” Remus corrected, stroking her dark hair before moving his hand to stroke yours in much the same way.
“Her?” Barty asked quietly, watching as you helped the infant latch. 
“Two girls, Uncle Barty.” You offered quietly, smiling softly up at your fiercest friend.
“I’m a girl uncle.” He said in awe, moving his smile towards the baby in Regulus’ arms.
“What are their names?” James asked eagerly. 
You looked shyly up at Remus who in turn fielded the question to Regulus. 
“This here,” Regulus started, pausing to clear his throat as he looked down at his daughter. “Is Rome Valeria Lupin.”
Lily let out a breathy ‘awe’ as she touched her hand to her chest, and Remus pretended he didn’t notice Sirius wiping a tear from under his eye.
“Named after the Empire, just like her daddy.” James commented with a soft yet proud smirk.
“And that one there is Soleil Pax Lupin.”
Sirius’ gaze moved to the little head he could see nuzzling at her mother’s chest. “A Sunny little girl.” He whispered quietly.
“Pax, that means peace in Latin, yeah?” Evan commented, smirking as Barty scoffed at him.
“Of course it does, Evan. Everyone knows that.”
James’ eyebrows furrowed as he looked towards Remus. “I didn’t know that…” He admitted quietly. 
“And Valeria means strength; Rome was a little younger than her sister, but she was a powerful little fighter.” Remus explained, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 
“They’re perfect, you guys. Just perfect.” Lily commented emphatically, earning nods in agreement from James, Sirius, and Evan.
“With no help from these wankers, surely. You did a great job, Treasure. They may have lost the lottery in terms of fathers but these girls couldn’t have asked for a better mum.”
And though Regulus rolled his eyes with an annoyed shake of his head, no one bothered to argue.
These two girls really lucked out when it came to their mummy. 
“Oh gods.” Barty whispered as he stood hastily.
“What?” Regulus asked cautiously.
“Oh gods.” He shrieked, turning a withering glare towards his friend. “You sods should have told me!”
Remus helped you right your robe as you pulled Soleil away from you and began patting gently at her back. “We thought it would be a funny surprise.” He explained.
Barty scoffed derisively and turned his ire onto him.
“Well ha ha, very funny.” He deadpanned. “I’ve only bought one of everything!”
Regulus waved him off after he passed Rome to his brother’s eagerly awaiting arms. “That’s fine, Barty.”
“No! It's not fine, Barty!” Barty volleyed back. “Evan, let’s go.” He ordered as he bent to press another kiss to your head, kissed his hand and gently pressed it to Soleil’s shoulder and did the same to Rome (much to Sirius’ chagrin). 
“Where?”
“Shopping! I need to go back and buy another of everything that we’ve bought!”
“Over the past seven months!?” Evan asked incredulously.
“Yes!”
Remus could hear them arguing all the way to the floo flames.
Lily offered to take Soleil from you to finish burping the baby as the room fell into a comfortable silence.
“So, when can we start trying again?” Regulus asked, causing Remus to grimace and you to level him with a look that would send a lesser man straight to his grave.
“Okay,” Regulus acquiesced. “We’ll talk more next week.”
Sirius laughed as he looked down at the babe in his arms.
“Sounds like your papa’s going to be sleeping on Uncle Siri’s couch, Roro.” He cooed.
From the look on your face, Remus was sure Sirius was quite right.
A/N: thanks to some of the ideas that were sent to me from anon's, like the idea that they rushed to the hospital and forgot reader at the house 🤣
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whorrorbellee · 5 months ago
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Beautiful Boy
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aemond targaryen x strong!reader
chapter two chapter three
"You look better like this," he says, his voice low and raspy.
You flinch, swatting his hand away from your face. He runs his hand over your cheek and then suddenly your head is knocked back into another direction, your cheeks swells. Without warning, he grabs a fist full of your hair, your chin rises upwards.
You find yourself in the RedKeep, keeping the bed warm for the one eyed prince.
Warnings: violence, fingering?afab reader, only description is long dark hair, Starvation. Stockholm syndrome(eventual)cnc,dub con,sa
Word count: 7k
There's a pregnant pause and then a soft gurgling noise. A burning ash smell fills the air in the expanse of the riverlands, you stay nestled between the walls of the keep, smoke rises from the grounds, a loud marching of what you can only hope is the Strong soldiers that come to save the few around Harrenhal. Maybe the Castle was cursed as people believed it to be. The death toll had only added up after Harren Black and his sons had withered away in the dragonfire. First the attack from Daemon and his army, then the Targaryens had only abandoned Harrenhal is such fleeting moments, You believed there was more death to come. Only years had passed since your brother and fathers death when you were Two and Ten, Larys had only hidden you away after he was confirmed heir for Harrenhal after Lord Simon Strong (your great Uncle) would pass. 
How you wish he could see the destruction of his hold after he had executed your Family for treason ,although the castle had been withering away under the rain for years. Lary’s mendacious nature had you squirming under his tend, knowing he would set you with a match that would only make your skin crawl, when the time had come. 
The stench of Dragon fire comes closer, and you slide down the cool wet stone wall of Harrenhal, hand over your mouth, you sweep the length of your dress closer to your body, you find yourself in a precarious situation, wedged into the many nooks the building had to offer. You gaze down at the mossy grass, the sky darkens in a cloak of ash and you almost believe it to be over, then the rainfall had come, sweeping the castle into a darker shade, it washed the blood away from the walls. 
Aemond stood at the edge of the ruins, His lone eye surveying the wreckage that stood before him. The aftermath of dragon fire had been a sight to behold, even after he had witnessed it so many times. His eye catches upon a lone figure in the distance; close to the edge of the keep upon the mountain, hidden away just out of sight, so intriguing. A flash of a Light green gown, rustling against the stone brick after a crack of lighting befell the castle. The sight had provoked him after bearing witness to the slaughter of all who laid here at Harrenhal. 
His long fingers traced the hilt of his dagger, he drew it close to his body as stalked towards the keep, passing the rubble and cadavers that lay upon the bloodied grass. He moved silently, his eye drawing in on his prey, he was a Predator after all. Before you knew it you were unknowingly cornered, He came to the nook where you had hid yourself, “come out, I know you're there,” He called out, voice low and dark. 
You clench your hand closer to your face, squeezing over your nose to still your breathing, fingers digging into flesh. It wasn't safe for you to come out, not yet. Not when you were unsure of who had called for you.You sniffled, raindrops running down your face. 
Aemond found his patience wearing thin. He could hear your shallow breaths, heart so loud he was sure he could hear the beating rhythm of your heartbeat thump against your ribcage. The tension builded in the air;thick and stuffy. He steps closer to the nook, your eyes widening as his boots crunched against what was left of the desecrated building. 
“I won’t ask again,” He said, Lifting his dagger away from his body, “Come out, or I will do it myself. I doubt you will enjoy that very much.”
You rise slowly at his words, feeling like a fresh doe on your legs, you peek your head round the corner. His eyes meet yours, gaze unwavering as you reveal yourself. Your eyebrow raises in a piqued interest and you slowly slide yourself out the nook you had buried yourself against. He was not a Member of the strong army, But he wasn't part of the queens.
“The king's army?” You sigh, “Daemon isn't here, they've left in the midst of your war” Your eyes gaze upon his face, meeting the horrific scar that ran from his brow to the bottom of his cheekbone, You feel his strong gaze on your own face, his lone eye roaming over your figure, you wonder if he remembers your watchful eye at the Red Keep, those years ago as he trained with a sword. 
Aemoned chuckled softly, he stepped closer towards your form, dagger clutched in his right hand as he assessed you. He could see the slight tremble in your form, a small inclination of fear within your eyes. “You’re observant, I’ll give you that,” His tone was cool and neutral. He takes another step forward, muscles flexing under his leather as he raises the blade to your chin, tilting your face to meet his eye. 
“I’m flattered, but it doesn't take a genius to know that this, is your blood-shed.” You feel the edge of the blade against your skin, it's cool in the humidity of the storm, Your hands run along the frills of your soft cotton dress, now wet. 
“You're a smart one, are you?”He chuckles dryly, he moves the dagger away from your chin, it slides down the expanse of your neck, hanging around your collar bones for a moment too long. “Mouthy too.” He steps even closer, body heat radiating off him like Hot fire on a cold day. “That’ll get you in trouble” 
“And yet I'm the last standing amongst this battlefield”. You pull away from his danger, swinging your body in the direction of the surrounding walls. “Though there wasn't much left to stand”
Aemonds lips curl into a smirk. “Cocky too”, He muses. He sheaths his dagger back into the scabbard, it makes you feel some sense of disappointment to be known now as not a threat. “You’re not wrong” he concedes, the scent of ash and fire fills the air as he chases your body with his own. “But don't forget, you are alive because i allow it”
You smirk, feet stepping over bodies and slabs of stone from the wreckage “well, I suppose it's time for me to leave, It was wonderful meeting you.” You nod your head. 
Aemond’s eyes widened in surprise as you began to descend the hill, his hand shooting out to grab your arm, grip firm and bruising. “Oh no, you’re not going anywhere” He commands with irritation, he spins you around forcing your back into the mossy stone wall, leaning in close trapping you against himself “I’m not done with you”
“Gosh, men really are all the same. You think I have to listen to your orders because you believe you hold more power over me? You may be a prince but i won't take an order from one who's lost an eye to a child”
Aemond's face enrages at your words as you smirk. His grip on your arm only grows tighter, and you struggle to breathe through the pain,His eye narrowed at your insolence. 
“Watch your tongue or i'll have it” He pushes you further against the wall, body flush against yours, his breath warms as he speaks. “I don't take kindly to being disrespected like that, especially not by mouthy wenches like you.” 
You laugh in his grip, “Mouthy wench? If my brother was dead I'd be set to inherit the very ground you stand on” you sigh, eyes gazing away from him to look upon the grounds. “To bad you torched it ”
His eye widens at the revelation, grip tightening even further, you're surprised you can still feel your hand. He leans in closer, face mere inches from your own, “You’re a highborn?” He studies your face for an inkling of a lie, but only truth prevails. “And yet, you're hiding in the ruins like a commoner” He mocks.
“Only because you slaughtered my family and army, Did my brother Lary’s Strong give you the order?” You almost wince as you say his name, it had been so long since you had seen your brother, now he was a Lord working under the new king. 
His gaze hardens at the mention of Lary’s, eyes filled with spite. “I'm not a lapdog, I'm the prince. And yet you speak with such disdain for your own brother, why?” he queries. 
You smooth back your hair, Aemond steps back finally giving you room to breathe. “He wishes to marry me off to the next man he can, I suppose I'm trouble for him.” 
“Marry you off, eh?” there's a hint of a smirk on his face, you watch as his white hair blows against the wind. “Who does your brother think is worthy for your hand”
You shrug, hands wrapping against your body. “It's not he who has to be worthy, But I, I'm sure he would sell me to a Peasant farmer if he could, for free no less.” you sneer at the thought, the smell of sweat and shit. 
Aemonds chuckles darkly at your words, his eye roams over the soft features of your face. He reaches to brush a strand of dark hair behind your ear. You flinch. The sentiment is oddly gentle in comparison to the mere moments ago where he had held a dagger against your jugular. 
“Fiery, most Highborn girls would throw themself at the opportunity to marry a prince” he mumbles “and yet you resist?”
“Resist? You act as though you haven't killed my family and destroyed everything I have ever known, all because of the boy who took your eye, the one you accuse of being a bastard son to my brother!” you grit your teeth together in destain. “and yet you ask for my hand? As what? A prize? Or a warning to the people that resist you?” 
His eyes darken, jaw clenching at your words, he grabs you by your shoulders forcing you to look him in the eye, his touch feels like fire, itchy and spreads up into a red heat across your cheeks. “You think this is about revenge? This war is more than you and your family” His grip tightens, Face mere inches away from yours. “Besides, I have no interest in taking a spoiled, defiant women as my wife”
“Then let me go” You spit.
He glares at you with rage, “You think it's that easy?” His voice is laced with sarcasm, “just let you go, You think I can simply let you go after all this?” he pauses as he steps closer to you. 
“You won't wed me, you won't kill me, you won't let me go, what do you want with me? To make me a slave? A prisoner?” 
"A slave? A prisoner?" he repeated, his voice low. "No, nothing so cruel." He leaned closer, his body now fully pressed against yours, the heat of him almost burning through your clothes. "I have much more... interesting use in mind for you"
“Gods, you disgust me”
"Oh, do I now?" he said, his voice dripping with mockery. "And yet, here you are, trembling under my touch. Tell me, is it fear that makes your heart race?" 
“It is my hatred for you” you scoff.
"Your hatred, is it?" he said, his fingers tracing a path down your collarbone. " I can almost feel the heat of it, the fire burning inside of you." He leaned in again, his breath hot against your ear. "But fire can be tamed, just like a dragon.”
“I’d rather die than let you touch me”,you push your weight on to him, he eases giving you enough room to sprint for the gates; an exit. You nearly trip against your feet as you run. 
He curses, hand on his dagger as he runs after you, his longer legs catching up, he pulls you into a bruising grip. Dagger against your throat. Aemond chuckles as you struggle.
“You thought you could escape me, did you?" he said, his breath hot against your ear. "How naive of you." He steers you towards the open field, unbecomered by wreckage. 
“Tegon, Vhager,Tegon!” (land), Aemond spits out. 
There is a large flapping of wings, The sound claps loudly like a Bomb exploding, you hide your face in your hands as air and dirt rises into your face, The great dragon lands, dirt and stone crumbling under its feet from the weight. He tightens his grip on your arm, pulling you closer to the dragon that has landed before them. The beast roars, its scales glinting in the sunlight.
"Now behave yourself. We're going for a little ride."
"What! No" You kick your feet into the dirt, Struggling in his grip, nails scratching at your attacker. 
Aemond grits his teeth at the feel of your nails on his skin, the sharp pain causing him to tighten his grip on you even more. "Stop struggling!" he snaps, "You're only making this harder for yourself."He forcibly pushes you forward, towards the dragon, dust rising as your feet scrape along the floor. "Get on Vhagar,"
“Please, No, I beg you, let me go” 
“Please no,” he pouts mockingly. “you’re coming with me whether you want to or not.”he pulls you closer to Vhager, heat radiates of her scales, “Climb, or i'll throw you over the back myself” 
You shake your head at his command. He grits his teeth. Aemond's patience was wearing thin, yet again. He let out a frustrated growl, his hand tightening around your arm to the point of pain. You yelp. "You're testing my limits, you little wench," he snarled. "Get on. The. Dragon. Now!"
He pushed you closer to the Vhager, her eyes watching you closely, huffing billows of smoke out her nose, He almost shoved you up her side "I won't tell you again."
“No, I won't go with you!”
He raises his other hand and grabs your hair, giving it a sharp tug, you yelp at the pain,hot heat on your scalp, you look back at him. His nostrils flaring."That's it," he snaps, his voice low and dangerous. "You're leaving me no choice." He grabs you around the waist and hoists you up onto the dragon's back, ignoring your protests.
“Fuck you” you spit at him. He climbs onto the dragon, his form pressed tight against your back, you flex your shoulders, flinching away as his arm grabs around your wrists.
“Hold on tight” His breath is hot on your neck.
“Please just let me go” Aemond smirked as he easily bound your wrists together with the cord, securing your hands in front of you.
"Oh, I doubt that very much," he said, his voice low and amused. "You've proven to be quite the disobedient little wench." He pulled you against him, his chest pressed firmly against your back. "No, I think it's best if I keep you bound and under my control." Your eyes widen.
“Gods, you’re a whore” 
“naejot se jēdar, Vhagar” (to the sky) The dragon's wings beat powerfully as they took to the air, the wind whipping around you both. Ground growing distant below them. He chuckles at your insult. “I might have to gag you as well if you keep up with that language” 
Your eyebrows raise at his words, “you wouldn't dare!”
"Oh, wouldn't I?" he said, his voice a low growl.His hands slid up your body, his touch almost possessive. "Perhaps a strip of cloth over your pretty little mouth might help you keep that sharp tongue under control or maybe something else~" He pulls your chin to look up at him.
You shake at his words, “I wouldn't touch you if you were the last man in this realm” you bite your tongue “I'd rather throw myself from this dragon” Aemond's fingers dig into your skin. He chuckled darkly, chest rumbling against your back.
 "Oh,you have quite the mouth on you, don't you?"His tone mocking. "Throw yourself from this dragon? What a shame that would be. All those beautiful bones and curves dashed against the ground." He ran his fingers through your wet hair, his touch almost gentle. "But I wouldn't let that happen."
It feels like mere hours, you look towards the open skies, the sight of Kings Landing coming to view as you part from the storm. Aemonds eye follows your gaze as you notice the red keep come into view, the sight blurred from your defiant tears. Vhagar’s great wings clap against the air as they begin their descent into the pit. You begin to understand the gravity of your situation. 
Vhagar lands, dust settling mere moments afterwards, Aemond climbs off the dragon pulling you with him. The cord only employs extra security of your restraint. Your wrists pull against the cord only tightening the harsh rope. Your gaze hardens as you stare at him, hiccuping as tears run down your face. Without warning his hoists you up into his arms, throwing you over his shoulders. 
You thrash around, his hold still firm ignoring your wiggling. He carries on down different hallways, each step closer to the throne room. “One eyed Cunt” you whisper. He stills, hands gripping firmly at your flesh. Growling as the knights open the door to the great hall.
“Now be good and keep that mouth shut” Aemond shrugs you off his shoulder letting you hit the floor, your eyes gaze up at the Iron Throne, swords melted down to form a horrid sight, Aegon sits upon it drunkenly "Brother!" he slurs, watching your body slumped on the ground of the castle" you've brought me a gift?"
Aemond grimaces at his brother's drunken state,his foot nudging you to stand. Face a picture of disgust, “Not exactly a gift My grace, she's mouthy one, needs a firm hand”
Aegon let out a chuckle, his eyes raking over your body. "she'll do nicely," he slurred.You shake your head at his words, remembering how his eyes used to scour your body when you were younger.
“No, Please.Anybody but him” You look up at Aemond from your knees, Aemond's eye watches you, a flicker of satisfaction in his gaze seeing you squirm and panic.
Aegon chuckled again, his gaze never leaving your body. He motioned for Aemond to bring you closer. "Don't worry" Aegon said, his voice thick with drunken desire. "I'll be gentle."
You shake your head, tears only gathering against your waterline. “Please! I’ll do anything not to be owned by him” You grasp Aemonds legs in your hand, pawing at the material, he looks down upon you seeing you beg. Aemonds lips curl at your obvious desperation, revelling in your pleads. He glances at his brother, his eye mocking."Oh, she's quite the pleader, isn't she?" he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
Aegon let out a scoff, his gaze still fixated on you. "Such a lovely little wench," he mutters.
Aemond leaned down, his face just above yours. Hand gripping the back of your hair, pulling you up to look at him. "Anything, hm? How desperate are you, darling?"
you begin to sob at his words "Anything, please" a meer moments ago you would have found yourself enraged by begging for a man. 
Aegon turns his head towards you, he mutters "Accept me as your king and Aemond can have his way with you, im sure theres plenty whores who would love to take my cock"
Aemond smirks at his brother’s response, Watching you sob beneath him, He pulls your hair till you stand, Now a tangled mess. His eye flickering with mockery. "Go ahead, then. Accept my brother as your king. Beg him like the desperate little wench you are."
You bow, taking a knee in front of the throne, “I~”there's a hiccup,“I accept Aegon as the true king of the seven kingdoms” You look up at Aegon, He smiles in satisfaction. his gaze locked on you as you knelt before him. He raised his goblet in mockery, his expression pleased.
"There you have it, brother," he slurred. "She's all yours." He knocks back the goblet, red wine running down his pale face.
Aemond smirks, his hand still gripping your hair tightly,he gestures for you to stand, releasing the grip on your hair. “My Grace, where is Lord Lary’s Strong?”
“Probably sulking somewhere, why?” He waves his Goblet in the air awaiting for it to be filled by a servant. “`Why?” 
“This is his sister” 
Aegon’s eyes fall down on you,he raises an eyebrow, you think about how horrible you must look, stained with ash and mud. Hair a wet mess from the rain. He cackles. “Sister? And yet she is here before us like an insolent pup. It runs in the family, I say.”
“I’m glad we have common ground for I also hate my Impudent brother, he's always been a stuck up man”
Aegon chuckles, “I'm sure you will be glad to see him then, i can't wait to see his face when he sees his little sister bound at our mercy”
You pull against your restraints once more “I’m not exactly precious material, I'm sure when he sees me in your Kinslayer cunt hands he'll be more than happy”, Aemonds hand clasps tightly around your mouth to silence you, you whine. His face mere inches from yours again, you wonder if he gets off on this.
"Watch your tongue" he growls,"Insulting me will only make things worse for you."
Aegon chuckled, clearly "I have to admit," he said, his words dripping in eagerness. "You're more fiery than I expected."
The wait seemed to drag on for an eternity. Aemond keeping his hand firmly over your mouth, grip unrelenting, silencing your protests. Eventually, the sound of footsteps echoed through the hall, and the guard returned, leading Larys Strong into the throne room, his expression stern and composed despite the circumstances, he hobbled on his crutch. Aemond's smirk widened at the sight. " Lord Larys Strong," he taunted.
Larys, turns to aegon nodding his head “My king”
Aemond smirks, his hand still tight on your mouth you can taste his sweat,"Ah, Larys Strong," Aegon said, a smirk on his face. "Your sister here has been quite a delightful addition to our court."
Larys' gaze flicked to you, his usual stoic expression, Not a flicker of concern crossed his face. "Sister," he said, his voice cold. "What have you gotten yourself into now?" 
Aemonds hand releases your mouth and you take a deep breath in, raing your eyebrows “What have i gotten myself into?”You point to yourself,  “I've been kidnapped” 
Larys looks right through you, turning his head “By whom?” 
You shake your head at him, lips pursed “By Whom? Who do I stand with now? Bound? Taken out of my own home after it had become a wreckage!”
His eyes narrow in on Aemond, and then he laughs, “ And what do you plan to do with my sister?” 
"What's it to you, Larys?" Aemond says "Your sister is in my hands now, and i can do whatever i with please with her, i'm sure you'll be glad to not have her in your keep" 
Lary shrugs, his hand gripping his staff, “Do whatever you want with her, Though I beg of you to take her hand, a Strong and a Targaryen would make a fine match" Larys utters , he limps away leaving you to your kidnapper.
You gasp, shocked at Larys' casual dismissal of you. Aegon chuckles, taking another drink from his goblet. "How thoughtful of him to think so highly of your value." he said, his tone mocking. 
Your eyes well up at the sight of him leaving knowing it was your last chance to leave his hands,You think quickly. Jabbing an elbow into Aemond’s side and making a run for it. But he had played this game before with you, he grabs at your arm, bringing you back into his chest. “The more you struggle the worse it’ll be for you”you kick your feet at the stone.
Aemond drags you out of the throne room, his grip on your wrists firm and unyielding. He leads you down the corridors of the Red Keep, his stride long and purposeful.
You try to struggle and pull away, but his grip is too strong, and he effortlessly pulls you along.
“Where are we going?” 
Aemond casts a glance over his shoulder at you, his smile widening at your question.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" he says, his voice dripping with poison.
He continues leading you down the halls of the castle, passing by guards and servants who give you curious looks. Soon, you find yourself in a part of the castle you're unfamiliar with. 
“The dungeons?” Your boots dig into the stone floor trying to pull yourself from his grasp, but he's merely too strong.
His smirk widens, eye glinting with dark amusement. "Very observant of you" he ridicules.
He leads you down a set of stone stairs, and the smell of damp stone and confinement becomes more intense. The air grows colder, and you find yourself in the dimly lit dungeons of the Red Keep. You shudder as you pass men’s intrepid eyes and womens weary faces  “so you do want to take me as a prisoner, and what leave me to rot till im begging for you?”
Aemond laughs at your words, his grip still firm on your wrists. He stops in front of a cell and pushes the door open. He shoves you into the cell and locks the door behind you, leaving you in the cold, damp darkness. He leaves without saying a word.
You sit there for what feels like hours, the only sound being the occasional clanking of chains and the faint cries from the other prisoners. You shiver in the cold, your knees to your chest, mind racing. Suddenly, you hear footsteps coming down the corridor. The light sound of boots on stone, and your heart starts to pound. Wondering whether he had come back already, you hear the drip of moisture from the stone ceiling.The footsteps draw closer, and you watch anxiously as a guard stands in front of your cell, followed by Aemond, who stands behind him, a smirk on his face. The guard unlocks the cell, and Aemond strides in, leaning against the wall. "Get up," he orders, his eye locked on you. You rise slowly with stiff legs. 
Aemond looks you up and down, his gaze hungry and predatory. "There, that's better," he says, his voice low. He steps closer to you, cornering you against the wall. His hand rises to your face, his fingers brushing against your cheek, you wretch your head back to avoid his touch.
"You look... messy," he says, his tone almost cruel. "Unkempt hair, dirt on your face. Not exactly a pretty picture" He leans in closer, his breath hot against your bare neck and then he turns suddenly, grabbing your wrists in his hands taking you out of the cell, "and clearly in need of a bath." 
Aemond leads you through a door and into what you only assume is his chamber, the scent of rosewater hangs in the air. In the centre of the room, a large steel tub is filled with steaming water. He pushes you towards the tub, his gaze dark and possessive. "Strip," he demands, his voice harsh and commanding. 
“Sorry?”
Aemond's eye narrows, "You heard me," he snaps, his voice cold. "Strip. Now."
He leans against the wall, watching you with an intensity that makes your skin shiver.
“Can you atleast turn?” You ask, biting your lip.
“No” 
You bite back a snarl and turn your back, Unlacing your dress quickly and then pulling off any undergarments. Aemond watches you intently, his eyes cutting into your back,
Your nipples harden at the chill in the air. Once you're completely undressed, he steps closer to you, his hand brushing against your bare shoulder. "Get in," he orders.
You sink into the hot water, feeling your muscles relax instantly, the smells of oils fill your nose but the knowledge that Aemond is watching you makes you feel uncomfortable, you pull your knees to your chest, wet hair surrounding your body. 
He moves closer, pulling up a stool, eye fixed on your frame. He reaches out a hand, running his fingers through a strand of wet hair that has fallen across your face. "You look better like this," he says, his voice low and raspy.
You flinch, swatting his hand away from your face. He runs his hand over your cheek and then suddenly your head is knocked back into another direction, your cheeks swells. Without warning, he grabs a fistfull of your hair, your chin rises upwards. 
“Don't test me, you're in my possession now. I can touch you however i please” He lets go of your hair, the back of his hand tracing the cheek he had just hit. 
Aemond stands up, grabbing a bar of lye soap and a cloth from a nearby table. He kneels down beside the bathtub, dunking the cloth into the water, and then lathering it up with the soap.He begins to slowly and methodically wash your body, his touch firm but surprisingly gentle. His eye watches your every reaction, taking in every shiver and flinch. You stare straight ahead. 
Aemond finishes washing your back and then moves to your legs, his hand gliding up your thigh, his touch sending shivers through your body. He pauses, his eye flicking to your face, his expression hard. "Do you trust me?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
“No”
Aemond chuckles at your response, his smirk returning. "I didn't expect you to," he says, his tone mocking.
He runs the cloth over your legs, his hand moving higher, gliding up your inner thigh. His other hand snakes round your chest, moving to your shoulder, pinning you against the side of the tub.
“Stop!” you push against his hand but it only grips tighter against your shoulder, you feel the blood rush to the spot his fingers press into.
"I don't think so," he says.
His hand moves higher, and his fingers brush against the sensitive flesh between your legs. He looks at your expression, watching your face for any sign of fear or pleasure. You struggle against his grip, but it's useless, his strength is much greater than yours, his thumb rubbing slow circles against your skin.
“Please stop,” you cry out.
His hand continues to move slowly, his touch becoming more intimate.
Aemond looks at you with mock sympathy. "Please stop?" he repeats, his tone drenched in sarcasm. "You're so sweet when you beg like that." His grip on your shoulder tightens even further, and his hand moves higher, brushing against your most sensitive spot. "But I'm not going to stop," he says, his voice low and commanding.
He continues to move his hand slowly, his thumb pressing against you in a way that makes you gasp, you spite yourself. His eye is fixed on your face, watching your reactions closely.
"You might as well give in," he says, his voice soft and persuasive. "It will make things so much easier for you." 
His hand moves again, stroking you in a way that sends ripples of pleasure through your body, despite your attempts to resist. His body is fully pressed against yours now, his chest against your back, his breath hot on your neck. You struggle in his touch, holding back a moan. His hand from your shoulder moves to clasp around your neck. 
His hand moves faster now, his fingers and palm working in tandem to bring you to the edge. His other hand grips your throat, holding you in place, as he continues his assault on your senses. You try to hold back, biting back moans. He grins in your efforts, fingers working your clit faster, You can feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, and Aemond can tell. His hand moves even faster, driving you towards the peak of ecstasy. “Just let go” he whispers against your neck.
“No!” you whine.
"Just let it happen.", it drives you to the brink of insanity, and you don't think you can hold back anymore, his thumb brushes against you, and everything you had been avoiding snaps, he feels you squirm underneath him, teary eyed, silent scream. He lets out a satisfied laugh. Fingers still moving against your skin, it begins to feel like too much. 
“Too much, please”
Aemond's hand finally slows, his touch becoming gentler as you come down from your high. He pulls away, standing up and watching you with a smug grin on his face, his fingers run against your closed mouth. “Open”
You shake your head at him, put his fingers into your mouth anyway, you gag, he laughs at the sound and pushes further into your mouth anyway, drool pools at the side of your mouth, he releases you with a wet pop and you slump into the side of the bath, watching his next move.
His hand moves down your neck, his fingers tracing over your collarbone, his touch leaving a trail of goose bumps in its wake. ��Get dressed” he points to the clothes horse with a new gown on it laid out for you. 
He watches you stand and dry yourself with a cloth, Aemond watches you dress your back turning as you try to lace your dress together, he grabs your shoulders and makes quick work of pulling the string tighter,watching as you gasp for air you feel like you can barely breathe. Ribs collapsing in on themself. 
“Back to the dungeon then?’
He nods, Leading you back down to the dungeon. Through winding hallways. You reach the room you were once in. You stumble forward, Aemond shuts the cell door, the clanging echoing against the walls of your cell, he leaves you, room barren apart from the cot in the corner. You sit on the Cot, it feels as though the walls are closing in on you. You try to calm your breathing, but the realisation of what Aemond had done hits you more than anything. He had pulled pleasure apart from your body with ease. 
The hours pass slowly, you try to sleep but all you can do is toss on the straw mattress, by morning a guard throws a piece of bread in your cell. It hits the dirty floor, brown mud and flys encasing it, you don't eat it. And then more hours pass and the same thing happens, you chew at your nails. The candles burn slowly, a fly buzzes, the smells of sweat and dirt closes in on you. 
It feels like minutes and days, time is all muddled up, you’re asleep one moment and the next your fingers are encased with dirt and blood, people shout out and cry. The candles get replaced. You haven't spoken in so long, eating hasn't even crossed your mind yet takes toll on your body, you begin to dream of twisting shadows and watery lands, cities beneath the ocean, a skeleton pierced with a sword through the eye. 
It feels like months have passed, and you believe yourself to be going mad, the isolation has turned your thoughts wild, your beginning to lose your grip or reality, you pray to the old gods, begging on your knees to the guards who pass by, but the days pass as usual. 
You hook your hands around the rusted prison, reaching a hand out to still the guard making his rounds, he turns to you. He stops in his tracks, eyeing you cautiously."What do you want?" he asks, his voice gruff and filled with irritation.
Your throat feels raw and scratchy as you try to talk, only coming out in quiet whispers “please,I~ need” your throat feels like sand. 
The guard shakes his head and continues on his rounds, ignoring your pleas. You're left alone once again, tears prick at your eyes as you sink into the thin mattress, you wail.
The loneliness and despair seem to close in around you, suffocating you.
More weeks pass and you barely move in your cot, bloodied fingers tracing the wall. There's a set of footsteps that stop outside your cell, candle light casting a shadow on to the wall, it pulls you out of your daze. 
You sigh, the shadow moves closer to your cell, face obscured by the darkness. “Are you still alive there?” it is but a whisper, low and soft.
“Yes” you mutter, you shit in your cot, gazing up at the figure. 
“You dont look like you've eaten much” they peer down at you, the tight dress now hangs off your shoulder. You sit up. 
The man pushes back the hood of his cloak, uncovering his face, his hair bright white. You can see that he's wearing an eyepatch over one eye, and his expression is unreadable.
He looks at you for a moment, his gaze taking in your dishevelled, malnourished appearance.
“Aemond” you whisper, your voice crackles. 
His face softens, hand reaching through the bars to grab at your hand, you nearly flinch at the contact. He pauses, his touch surprisingly gentle. "Easy," he whispers, his voice low and soothing. "I'm not going to hurt you." 
You gaze up at him, he pulls out a key from under his cloak, unlocking the door.He steps inside. Standing there for a moment, his gaze fixed on you as you look up at him. "Can you stand?" he asks, his voice low and gentle.
You nod, Feeling like a newly born doe as you struggle to stand, legs buckling from under yourself, he reaches out and stills you, hand around your waist. He smells like old books and dragon fire. 
"It's alright," he says, his voice low and soothing. "I've got you."
“How long?” 
Aemond thinks for a second, he leads you out the cell slowly, steering you down the dungeons, he’s patient as you step up the steps slowly, his hand near your back for support. “Nearly three moons”  You nod at the revelation. He continues to guide you down the castle hallways.His steps slow, matching your pace. 
"You look terrible," he says, his voice blunt but not unkind. "Have they been feeding you?"
“Scraps of mouldy bread every morning” you bite your cheek.his grip tightens on your waist. “you left me down there” you cry, your lip wobbles. The corridors wind on until you find yourself in front of a big oak door. 
He speaks softly voice filled with a hint of regret. “I had too.” 
“Had too?” the knight opens the door, it creeks slightly, you walk inside books toppled over on chairs and tables, along with scrolls. The fire roars, a platter of food is laid out on the oak table. He guides you over on the bed in the corner. You let him fuss with your dress until you're in some kind of cotton nightgown, he touches you like your glass, He pours you a glass of water. You sip slowly. 
“You wanted me to break in there”
"Yes," he finally admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "I wanted you to feel broken”,his hand runs tenderly across your face, you still yourself trying not to chase it with your cheek “And now look at you, like clay in my hands, mine to hold however i see fit” You look up at him with wet eyes, his thumb rubs gently over your cheek. He steps closer to you. He runs his thumb over your lips. “You must be hungry.”
You nod, He steps away, moving over to a table in the corner of the room where a tray of food has been set out. He picks up a plate and brings it back over to you, setting it down in your lap. “Eat” You eat slowly, picking part of cheese and meat. You find yourself filling up quickly.
“Are you tired?” 
Your head nods quickly, the thought of sleep is terrifying to you in such a big room. “You may sleep here.” He peels back the covers, taking the plate from your lap, you climb in, and he tucks the covers up to your neck. You feel exhaustion wash over you, although you're so close to him there's a sense of loneliness within you, you turn to your side. “Relax” he whispers.
“Can you hold me?” you stutter. 
Aemond seems surprised but you seem so desperate for human connection after so long he slides his arm under you, pulling you closer, you're pressed into his back tightly. He tries to soothe you, hand running through your hair, but it only knots. Your body grows less rigid as you begin to fall asleep in his arms. He watches you succumb to sleep, body growing limp. 
538 notes · View notes
syrma-sensei · 5 months ago
Note
hey! do you take soldier boy requests? if you do, then i have a little prompt! i can totally see this dynamic with ben x reader. ignore this if you like, i'm just curious because i love your writing !!
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Heya 👋🏻
Of course I do! I love writing my man 🤭❤️
Hehehe, I can totally see it too. I almost wrote it in Home, but you know, couldn't let that happen cuz reader was pregnant and all...
Thank you so much, lovey 💕 You're in for a treat!
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→ Smokey Snuggles, Zero Struggles.
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gif credit.
Pairing: Soldier Boy x Fem!reader.
Rating: Fluff.
Word Count: 1.1k
Warnings: Pillow talk, smoking, implied smut, soft Ben, flufffff, antiquated mentality...
Setting: Prequel to Home one-shot; can be read as a standalone tho.
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Ben swept his large arm over your body to pull you closer to his chest, his rough yet gentle hand resting on your thigh. Your body curled up to his as your chest heaved with soft pants, up and down, while his seed seeped out of your opening.
“Mmm, did I tucker you out, dollface?” He teased with that deep voice of his; you could hear the smirk in his tone.
“Not at all...” You shifted your head up, chin resting on his chest and eyes gazing up at him with playful intransigence.
He glanced down at you, relishing in the way your pretty fingers ran on his chest. “Good, ‘cause I was just getting started.”
Your lips let out a sheepish giggle concurring with a cute red smear across your cheeks.
It was still all new to you; the sex, the extravagant self-indulgence, the supe business, Vought, and him.
You'd met Ben in one of his educational tours throughout the country. He'd been on an awareness campaign spree, visiting local schools to sow the American values into the hearts of the young. Needless to say, the children were thrilled having the first superhero in their classrooms, sitting and reading for them — making them laugh even. The bastard had an alluring charm; everyone had been in love with him, and you were none the better. His damn swagger had a certain lure, it didn't take long to coax you out of the skirts of modesty into the lusciousness of his arms.
You were a new elementary teacher, a young woman brought up in a conservative household; it was inevitable to have a blatant shock when you entered Ben's life as his new partner, and intended to be wife-to-be — he didn't propose or promise you anything yet, mind you. Yet, him having family dinners with your parents, you moving in with him, him having you at his arm wherever he went; movie premieres, filmmaking, photoshoots, interviews, and more, he literally had you stuck to his hip. That had to mean something, right?
You tried to shrug off the thoughts that plagued your mind of the possibility of Ben dumping you. You shiver at the thought. The truth was, you were head over heels with him, and you honestly didn't know where you'd put yourself if he left you.
You felt him flex the arm he had on your thigh up behind his head, then you heard the flick of his lighter and soon the smell of burnt tobacco followed.
You glanced up at him. Ben's green eyes were staring ahead, the look on his face told you he was deep in ponderation. He absently inhaled from his cuban cigar.
The tip of your forefinger rubs circles on the centre of his chest, stroking the fuzzy wisps on his skin.
You knew he was giving you a break after he had been balls-deep inside of you for a couple of rounds. Ben was nearly insatiable when it came to you, but he always tried to keep himself in check that your human stamina could never match his, regardless of how many times you told him not to hold back.
“No,” He had said, caressing your cheek with the back of his knuckles, “I could break you.”
You smiled with a blush at the memory, snuggling closer to him and letting your ear savour the strong beat of his heart. You really wanted the only one who'd own that heart, you really did.
When you glanced up at him again, he wasn't miles away like he was minutes ago. He was smiling down at you, before he leant in and pressed a light kiss on the crown of your head.
Your cheeks flourished red at the unbridled affection; he seldom showed such, and it never ceased to take you by surprise when he did so. Those moments of sweet dalliances assured you sometimes that you weren't just a fleeting fling.
You wanted to nuzzle closer to him but he shifted a bit to sit up, leaning his back to the headboard. You sit up as well, letting the sheets fall off your naked bosom. You weren't that shy girl anymore.
“Want a drag?” He offered you his cigar.
You smiled, “I-I could try…” You took the cigar as he turned to his bedside table and opened the drawer.
You shrugged and placed the stub between your lips and took a long drag. Wrong move. Because the moment the smouldering smoke hit the back of your throat, your eyes burnt up with tears and you started to cough.
Ben turned to you again, a rich laugh rumbling in his chest, he took the cigar from your hand and placed it in the ashtray, and patted your back gently. “Easy…”
“Holy—!” You croaked, hastily reaching for the glass of water on your bedside table, drinking it. “How do you smoke that shit?” You coughed again.
His laugh diluted into a deep chuckle, “It’s not so bad, you're the lightweight.”
“Oh, believe me, I couldn't handle you if I were one.” You let out a smooth giggle that soon turned into a chortle.
Ben chuckled again, before he wiped the drizzle of water away from the corner of your lips, and the tears away from your eyes.
You grinned at him, kissing his thumb.
“Marry me.” He said, making your eyes go wide. You blinked for a moment.
He read the confusion on your face and acted swiftly by holding a small box of velvet out for you, gently opening it. There was an elegant ring in the box, golden and meticulously-polished, encrusted with a glamorous diamond in its centre.
You opened your mouth then you closed it again; too stunned to find the right words to say.
“I-I don't know what to say.” You finally spoke, voice hushed both by the surprise and the whiff of the cigar from before.
“Say yes.” He grinned, plucking the ring from the box, twirling it deftly between his thumb and forefinger.
Your eyes teared up and you surprised him with a hug, wrapping your arms around his neck.
He seemed to be taken aback by your reaction, but soon enough, he hugged you back, kissing your temple gently.
You found heavenly comfort in his open affections for you, relishing in the silent but blatant fact that they were only yours.
You nuzzled closer to his chest, burying your face in his neck, softly smooching his skin.
“Is that a yes?” He asked, but you could hear the smirk in his voice. Of course, he was teasing you. Typical Ben.
You pulled away, gushing, “Yes!” You sniffled cutely, “God, yes.”
Ben slipped his late mother's wedding ring into your hand before he leant in and kissed your knuckles.
“I love you…” He whispered in your ear, melting your heart with the sincerity of his words.
“I love you too.” You whispered back, “More than anything.”
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🦅 Soldier Boy Masterlist.
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Taglist: @thebiggerbear, @zepskies, @deanbrainrotwritings, @deansbbyx, @deans-spinster-witch
@venus-haze , @kaleldobrev, @k-slla, @ketchupjasmin, @demodemo909
@mystic-mara, @jqtaro, @pepsicolacoochie...
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worldofkuro · 7 months ago
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Painted Smile
Painted Smile X
Pairing: Alastor x Female! Reader
<- Previous Chapter I Next Chapter ->
Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.
Notes: I won't lie it was a difficult chapter because Reader's psyche is changing but without this I loved this chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did ! There is fluff but beware there are racism, killing envy and blood. But nothing too bad I think... yet. I really hope you'll love it, it's the turning point of the story !
You woke up against Alastor's naked chest, still enveloped in blankets. You could feel him playing with your hair while humming a song you’ve heard on the radio. You tilted your head toward him, watching his face wearing his usual smile. 
“ Hello, dear.” he whispered. You kissed his cheeks and put your head back against his warm chest. You could feel his body being more tense than usual, maybe being almost naked against each other made him uncomfortable? You tried to sit up but he pushed your head against his chest once again. “ Stay…”
You hummed, caressing his scars. It was strange, the skin color was different depending if there were scars but you were surprised by how smooth it was. You couldn’t tell the difference between his scars and his skin. 
“ Who did this to you..?” you whispered. Even though you both were alone in the cottage, cut from the outside world by the snowstorm you didn’t want to break the comfortable and quiet atmosphere. You felt like, if you began to talk louder, Alastor would shield himself from you. You felt him take a big deep breath before speaking a word you couldn't help but expect.
“ My father.” He sighed.
“ Do you wish to talk about it?”
“ What is there to tell, dear? The man who owned the title of being my father had my mother pregnant, he wanted to be a perfect man so he married her.  It was a gamble that failed. I was born and he would beat me or my mother if we were acting a little too “ black” for him, with his belt, his fists, cold water and so many other things. He teached me how to hunt, how to kill, how to hurt… I know so many things that would make you run away from me, my dear friend…” he hugged you tighter.
You don’t think you’ve ever felt this angry. The man you have met many times, the very man who hurted Alastor, has always been close to you and you’ve never seen it. You tried not to imagine Alastor being alone in his room being beaten hard by his father while trying not to cry while holding onto Eamon. Had you hurted him when you would smash into his arms for a hug? Had you hurted him when you would jump on his back because you didn’t want to be walking because you were oh so tired. Why didn’t you realize that Eamon’s fur was getting redder and redder because Alastor was bleeding on him because of his father. Why did you not realize that Alastor didn’t want to let Marie alone in this house because there was a demon living among them.
“ Dear?”
“ I hope he dies during the war.”
There was a silence before Alastor tilted your head by your chin toward his face. His eyes had the same warm glint but there was something else, something darker that seemed to try to stay hidden. He was looking at you, observing you like he was searching for some kind of answer. You tried to show how angry you were, you wanted your eyes to give the answer Alastor was looking for. 
“ And if I told you I didn’t wish for him to be killed during war?”
Your eyes widened. What? 
“ Alastor.. I know he is your father and maybe you still feel some kind of bond with him but you shouldn’t. He doesn’t even deserve to be killed as a soldier, he should be taken by the enemy, tortured until he can’t even spell his own name. Being eaten by dogs. No, it would be bad meat for the dogs. He should just get his members cut off, his tongue eaten by rats, he shou–” you gasped as Alastor kissed you, pressing your body against his own. Why was he kissing you so passionately when you were talking about how his father should die.
He leaned back with a soft smile, that dangerous glint in his eyes back. You tilted your head, you didn't finish talking, it was rude of him.
“ Aah.. Darling, you are…” he sighed in bliss as you felt his nails dug comfortably into your waist.” What if.. What if I told you I didn't want him to be killed because..” he stared at you a moment before speaking again.”  I want to be the one to kill him.”
You shivered even though you were against Alastor’s warm chest and under several blankets. Alastor wanted to kill his own father? You were staring at him while he was observing you, waiting for your reaction. Alastor wanted to kill his own father? Well, you did want the bastard dead and Alastor deserved his revenge but to kill.. to kill another human being…
“ Killing him…? But …”
“ Don’t see him as living being my dear, he isn’t worth the title. Think of it.. Like I’m going to hunt a dangerous animal that needs to be put down. I’m just like your ideal Prince charming , aren’t I? Killing dangerous people for his loved one?” He tilted his head with a soft smile. 
You couldn’t help but nod. What he was saying was true. Killing his father would be a great thing. You were beginning to scared yourself as you felt no remorse or guilt to think about Alastor killing his father, his own blood. Why would you? He didn’t deserve to live after what he had done to Alastor and Marie. The idea didn’t scare you but your thoughts did. Deep inside you, you knew you weren’t scared because this idea was coming from Alastor. You trusted him with your life.
“ How would you kill him?” you asked, curiously. You giggled as he kissed you everywhere on your face. His body, once tense, was beginning to relax a little. You didn’t know what you had done but it seemed like your gave the answer Alastor was waiting for.
“ How I’m going to kill him, you mean. I have many ideas my dear! By knife, rifle or maybe by strangling him?” he pondered as he stared at the ceiling with a happy grin.
“ Won’t he be able to scream if you strangle him?” you asked. You remembered, when you were playing with your cousins, some would play a little too hard and would “strangle” you. You would just scream so your mother would come and scold your cousins.
“ Oh trust me dear, if you do it right, you can’t scream for help.”
“ How do you know?” 
“ Well, I tried to scream for my mother one day.” he smiled at you and you felt angrier than you were minutes ago. His bastard father had strangled Alastor when he was a kid. What a demon! He really didn’t deserve to be alive! “ I have so many ideas!”
“ You know, If you really happened to kill him, I wouldn’t tell a soul… In fact.. If you need me at that moment.. I promise, I’ll be there.” you said sure of yourself. You did not know if you could handle everything but you’ll be by Alastor’s side from the beginning. You didn’t know if you could kill… It was a thought too far from your morals but helping Alastor if he happened to be injured or something else… That, you would do it.
“ Oh dear.. Don’t tell me that, you’re going to make me say things I’m not ready to tell yet.” he sighed dreamily as he tilted his head backwards. Now, that made you curious. What could Alastor be hiding, he just told you he planned to murder his father, what more could you be hiding ? You smiled as you nipped his neck, making him shiver.
“ Like what? Tell me. Tell me!” you smiled as you kept kissing him on his jaws, his cheeks and his nose. “ Come on now, you just told me you wanted to kill your father, what more can’t you tell me ?” you whined before settling against him once more. You closed your eyes and listened to his heartbeat. It was fast…
“ Fine… Dearest, once I have killed my father,” you hummed while he took your hand in his. “ Would you marry me?”
Oh Lord.
You sat up, staring at him.  He was looking at you, kissing the back of your hand. You were shaking, did he .. did he..?
“ I won’t lie, I still don’t know what Love is about. I just know that I want you to be by my side, I don’t think I could remain sane if I were to see your attention shifting to someone else. Just like Narcissus with his own reflection, I can’t get enough of you and yet I feel so fulfilled when you are by my side. I’m… I think I may be obsessed with you. You are the person who brought my human heart to life, how odd. I know it’s not the love you read about or you wish for.. I don’t even know if this is love. But this is what I feel for you, and I don’t think I’ll be able to feel it for anyone else, heck, I don’t want to feel it for anyone else…I want you caged with me. I want you to think about me just like I’m always thinking about you.” he stared at you, waiting for your answer, caressing your trembling hand. His eyes were shaking but he kept his gaze on you, observing your reactions. “ Would you accept my mad affection?”
You were shaken. You were with Alastor, almost naked, sitting on his pelvis with a blanket around you and a snowstorm outside.You felt hot. So hot. Alastor wanted to marry you. He wanted you to be his wife? It felt like everything clicked in your brain. Each time you were running after him, each time you wanted to make him like you, each time you wanted him to see you as a lady, each time you asked him to let you enter into his mind, each time you felt anger when a woman would come close to him, each time you wanted him to watch you and only you.
You were madly in love and obsessed with Alastor.
You read so many love novels… The prince never asked the princess to marry after telling her he was going to kill his father. The prince never asked the princess to think about him only. Their love was pure, not tainted by obsession, not tainted by the immense need to be by their lover’s side… Their love was not like what was happening right now.
And yet you couldn’t be happier.
You smiled at him, your vision blurry because of the tears blinding your eyes.
“ Alastor.. I may be just a foolish sixteen year old girl. Maybe your obsession will pass when you see I have nothing to offer you but trust me, my affection for you has been present since the day I laid my eyes on you.” you felt him squeeze your hand harder as you continued your confession.” We are both young, so maybe you’ll change your mind. You’ll find a proper woman but I know that you are the only man I wish for in my life. The only man I wish I would marry…” you sobbed as you squeezed his hand back as he stared at you with clear obsession in his eyes. He leaned toward you, whispering against your lips.
“ Say it.. Say it..” he begged.
“ Yes, Alastor, I will marry you.”
He kissed you with a big smile you couldn’t help but imitate. He hugged you against him so hard you felt pain in your chest but you didn't care. You squeezed him as hard as you could, you’ve never felt happier.
“I feel like this is too good to be true…” you heard him say against your skin. You couldn’t help but laugh while wiping your eyes. You leaned back as you took both of his hands in yours.
“ It’s true.. I feel like.. Once we leave this place, everything would be a faraway dream.” you sighed with a soft smile. You felt like you were dreaming right now…
“ I.. May have an idea for that.” he smirked at you as you tilted your head, confused. “ I find myself being interested in voodoo.” he held his hand in front of your mouth as you gasped. “ No worry darling, voodoo is not a barbaric religion. It’s in my blood, I found books about it and where it came from. And, there are some rituals that can bind souls together… Would you like to try it?”
“ For real?” you said, astonished. From what you heard, voodoo was a banned religion because it was witchcraft which came from black people. You didn’t really find yourself into religion, men killed for religion no matter which one. But if voodoo was something Alastor’s looked into and was coming from his ancestors, that could be interesting.
“ Yes indeedy. They wrote it as a curse though but…” you peck his nose before he could continue.
“ Yes, I want to.” you smiled. “ How do we do it?”
“ I don’t have the book with me right now. But it’s very specific.. I’ll need some of your blood.” he said carefully but soon his expression turned to surprise as you ran toward the kitchen and gave back with a knife. “ Well, aren’t you in a hurry to be bound to me body and soul?” he said with a teasing smile.
“ Oh, you are right, we can wait.” you said and smiled delightedly when you saw his expression twitched. You knew that Alastor would be the less patient of the both of you for this kind of thing, for you, which was surprising, he was known to be patient, very patient. “ Here I was, ready to make my ring finger bleed.” you shook your head with a saddened expression. “ How foolish…”
“ Dear…”
“ Seems like I’m in no hurry to become your wife!” you squeaked as Alastor tugged you against his chest with a smile so big it almost looked like inhuman.
“ Dearest, don’t play with me. Not with that.” he gently took the knife from your hand. “ No need for this. If you accepted, I could cut you.” he looked at you, seeming unsure. You tilted your head, cutting yourself seemed scary indeed.
“ It’s going to hurt, right..?” you asked softly.  You watched as he played smoothly  with the knife in his hand. You wished you knew how to do it…
“ I’ll try to make it so you don’t feel anything.” 
“ No. I want to feel it. I want to feel this moment.” you said sure of yourself.  Tonight would mark the first step of becoming Alastor’s wife, body and soul. You would be damned together or go to heaven together, there were no in between. You saw Alastor’s smile widened, it seemed like he was sharing the same feeling as you about this situation.
You looked as he sunk softly the knife’s edge into your skin. You shivered as you bit your lips, you were feeling no pain. You remembered in your romance books, normally the woman would be crying as the prince would pass the ring on her fingers. And yet, here you were, letting Alastor cut your skin and enjoying it. 
He took a napkin from the table and held it against your bleeding finger. 
“ Are you okay?” he asked, observing your reaction once more. You nodded, you don’t think you could feel even better ! He put the napkin on this table with a satisfied smile before you pinned him on the sofa, hugging him against you.
“ I’m the happiest girl in the whole world !” you shouted before leaving the sofa, leaving there a confused smiling Alastor, and you jumped everywhere. You couldn’t wait to tell your mother, your father, Alice ! You squealed in delight as you jumped around under Alastor’s soft gaze.
“ You gave me the best birthday’s present.” he said as he stood up. You grinned at him, his birthday was tomorrow, you needed to prepare the food. Even if you knew nobody would be coming, it was for the better!
You took Marie’s recipes’s book, still with the blankets around you.
“ Let your future wife cook for you!” you smiled confidently.
Alastor let you in the kitchen for 15 minutes before running back because he smelt fire. You just smiled sweetly at him with a burned stove. Alastor sighed with a tender smile before helping you cook. You wanted to try to cook something spicy, that’s why you had asked Alice to bring hot pepper for his birthday.
“ Do you think you could eat one and handle it ?” you teased him. He just looked at you and ate a whole pepper without flinching. You stared at him in shock. He winked at you before giving you a hot pepper with a mocking smile.
“ Could you handle it?”
You scoffed and took the hot pepper in your hands.  If Alastor did it, you could do it! You took the whole hot pepper in your mouth and swallowed it. You waited a little then laughed at Alastor.
“ I had worse at my– Oh my god..” you stopped every movement as your felt pure fire began to grow inside of you. You felt tears streaming down your face as you coughed, holding on Alastor’s arms as he was laughing so hard you could see tears on the side of his eyes. “ Alastor, help me!” you tried to fan your tongue, jumping around as Alastor held himself against the wall, crying of laughter.
“ Haha! Dear, drink milk ! milk!” he laughed as he pointed to the fridge. You ran toward it and slammed its door open. Did you even have milk? Yes! You took the bottle and drank messily the milk until the bottle was half full. “ Oh dear… Would you like a kiss after this horrible experiment?” he smiled as he walked toward you, but as he leaned closer to your face you almost could feel the hot pepper still on his lips.
You ran away, screaming at him. You didn’t want to feel this pain anymore! You were screaming as Alastor ran behind you, his laughter echoing in the little cottage.You couldn’t help but smile, if this scene would represent your future with Alastor, you would love it!
After your battle, easily won by Alastor’s lips against yours, you went back to cooking. Alastor was showing you how to cook and you took notes. It seemed so easy from his movement. You were almost jealous but then you began to smile as you remembered that you would see this scene every day in the future.
“ You have such a big smile dear, does watching me cooking bring you such pleasure?” he asked teasingly. You stuck your tongue at him, you knew he was happier than he let on. His smile was more genuine and his body was more relaxed than you've ever seen him. 
After an hour you went back to the living room, near the fire and ate Alastor’s cooking. You called your mothers to reassure them that everything was good and you were safe. You gossiped, played a few games, like poker and Alastor was way too good about it , you would just throw a pillow at him each time he would wink at you, meaning he knew he had won. You took a nap against Alastor’s chest and when you woke up it was almost midnight. You stood up from his chest and were surprised to see Alastor asleep. Maybe being away from everything, with you had made him relaxed enough that his body could sleep? You smiled and went to the kitchen and took a cake out of the fridge. You tried to make a coffee cake two days ago, you hoped it was still good… You put the candle on the cake and lit them up before walking toward the living room. 
You saw an awaken Alastor turning his head toward you as you sat in front of him on your knees, with a soft smile and whispered in the quiet room.
“ Happy birthday, Alastor”
~~~
“ Happy birthday Alastor!” you all cheered and brough your glasses together. You were in a bar with jazz playing, celebrating the new year and Alastor’s 23th birthday. Alice was there, with some of Alastor’s friends, you didn’t really remember all of their names but one, Mimzy. It was a name you never heard of so it stuck with you.
Alastor has become a real man. He was taller than most people, his frame was deceivingly slim, his smile was as broad as ever, his hair were a little longer than when he was younger and as always , he had his glasses on. He was grinning as everyone congratulated him for his birthday. You looked at Alice with a soft smile.
Alice had changed too. Long gone was the sweet innocent looking girl, she was now a beautiful woman who was confident in any way. She had cut her long hair, now they ended toward her shoulder. She looked at you and winked.
“ Another shot?”
You laughed and nodded but Alastor stood up.
“ My dear friend, what a day to celebrate the new year and myself. I have happy news to share.” all of you looked at Alastor, waiting for him to tell you his news. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes with a smile, he was such an attention seeker. “ My voice is going to keep you company most of the day as I have been hired in a radio station.” he said with a proud smirk, his eyes never leaving yours. You shouted of pure happiness, standing up so abruptly the chair fell down behind you. You clapped just like the rest of the people around the table.
“ I knew you would do it, sweetie!” said Mizmy, giving him a side hug.
“ I'm paying for another round of shots!” you exclaimed with a big smile. You didn't even wait for everyone to tell you what they wanted. You were already going toward the barman. You were really walking straight but who cared, everyone here was busted. 
“ Heya doll, whatcha want?”
“ Give me your strongest.” you said while pointing to your table. He nodded and you went back to your table who were still praising Alastor. You sat back down next to Alice.
“ Hearing Alastor’s voice all day? Ugh, I’ll have to endure it.” she said with an amused expression. You laughed, Alastor and Alice always say they didn’t like each other but when it was for you, they would team up. 
“ I can’t wait to hear his voice on the radio. You don’t understand, we’ve been waiting for it since childhood!” you said with a nostalgic smile. You remembered your sleepover and your childish broadcast… Aah, how time flies. You smiled as the waitress put the shots on the table with a whole bottle of whiskey. 
“ Order from the house.” she said flirty before leaving. You all took one shot and drank it. You try not to grimace, this one was really strong. You laughed as you saw Alice’s head fall against the table.
“ Oh, this one was a bitch.” 
“ You need more training, love.” you heard Mimzy say to Alice as she tapped her back. You looked at Alastor who didn’t even flinch. He was talking with one of his friends but you knew better… Those friends must be useful in some way. Your expression lifted up as you heard a song you wanted to dance to. You moved Alastor’s friend out of your way and dragged him on the dancefloor. You laughed as he began to spinned you.
“ Are you sure you can handle me in that state, love?” he taunted you as he spinned you back against his broad chest. You winked at him, you may be more than tipsy but you weren’t drunk yet. You could handle him. You began to dance with Alastor, quickly being the center of all attention. You knew every step by heart, Alastor could throw you in the air you would just close your eyes and wait for him to catch once again.
After a lot of dances, you went back to your table as Alastor danced with Mimzy. You sat next to Alice, making air with your hand. So hot.
“ I won’t lie, there is so much tension between you I don’t know how you don’t just.. jump each other when you both are alone.” Alice said before drinking a glass of whiskey.
You laughed, smacking her arms. There have been moments where Alastor and you would make out so intensely you would get ready to give him your virginity but he always said to be patient and wait for your future wedding night even if it was killing you both. You respected his decision, you would wait for your wedding. The only person who knew what had happened in the cottage, the only one who knew about your promise, for Alastor 17th birthday was Alice, who almost broke every damn mirror with her screams.
“ What? Look at you ! You’re like.. ethereal ! And I’m the one saying that.” she said before slipping her hair to one side of her shoulder. You grinned, you did grow up well. Your mother was so proud of you and even your father. When your father had returned from war he was badly injured so you took upon yourself to be his personal nurse. You weren’t a perfect nurse but you knew how to clean wounds, do stitches, you weren’t disgusted by the sight of blood anymore. And to top it all off, you were used to seeing Alastor bring back dead animals from his hunt now. You weren’t the fragile little girl anymore. Something your parents would missed sometimes, but from your friends point of view and even Alastor’s, you could still be endearingly naive.
“ And what about you Alice? The jewel of New Orleans? No one fancied yet?” you smirked before taking a glass of whiskey. Alice had, as always, so many people who threw themselves to her feet but she didn’t care. 
“ No, which is infuriating , look at me ! Poor little me being single!” she groaned as you laughed before hugging her. You knew Alice would find someone, she deserved it!
You kept celebrating until 3 am before you knew it was time for you to go. You were tired and you knew you would have to take care of your father if needed. He was doing well but he couldn’t stay still so he went to work with the police. What a stubborn man. You kissed Alice on her cheek and smiled when you felt a warm hand on your back.
“ Ready to go, dearest?” Alastor smiled at you, he already had his jacket on his arm. You nodded and said your goodbye before leaving the bar. You were staring at Alastor’s handsome punchable face. He looked down at you with a teasing grin. “ Yes ?”
“ Nothing.. I’m just admiring your face.”
“ Oh, please, do continue.” he chuckled as he walked you to your home. In front of your door you hugged him as he kissed your forehead. You began to turn away from him, ready to catch some sleep but he took your hands.
“ I say I had good news right?”
“ Yes, you are now a radio host.” you smiled before giving him a peck on his lips. “ I’m so proud of you. We’ve been waiting for this, haven't we?”
“ We have, indeedy, dearest. But I have some other news, for both of us.” He took your hand toward his mouth and kissed the back of it, staring into your soul.
“ My father is coming back.”
Tag List: @lukneetoonz @martinys-world @littlepoetnova @sirens-and-moonflowers @eris-norwega @tiredflame132 @mo-0-o @vvollerie @sodavizz @boogiemansbitch @tessemerick @slytherin4ever @kammsinn @alastorssimp @t0xic1vi @diamond-almond @fangirlbitch02 @saccharine-nectarine @thenorthnightingale @bibliophile-yomna @itzjustj-1000 @mothraantics
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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 5 months ago
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Chapter 19: I Know Who You Are
Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV
Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter nineteen of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)
Word Count: 14.5K (It's a behemoth and oh my stars I didn't mean to do this)
Warnings: Angst, Cursing, Angst, Drinking, ANGST, Sexual References, Talks of Pregnancy/Abortion, Some steaminess (barely), Family Problems, Self-deprecating thoughts, Awkward Situation, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.
Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
A/N: Not going to lie, this one is ANGSTY and it's dramatic... ENJOY!
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Soldier Boy POV
Ben couldn't move, couldn't breathe. The words you'd said still hovered between the two of you like an anchor sinking from a ship and lodging itself in his heart to tug him under. At first he thought that he'd imagined you saying it, that he was still reeling from using his newfound powers, but the ringing in his ears was not a side effect of that.
It had been exactly 37 seconds since you said it, and in those 37 seconds Ben couldn't do anything but stare into your beautiful wide eyes and try to remember how to breathe. The look on your face was identical to the first time you told him you loved him, hands gently cupping his cheeks and making him feel like the boy who used to climb up the tree outside your window just to glimpse your smile.
But now what you said was different. What you said didn't bring warmth, it brought destruction, it broke through everything he was.
 As soon as you said it a wave of shock crashed over him, followed by another more powerful wave of guilt. It wasn't guilt for getting you pregnant or guilt because the two of you weren't careful. Ben was not upset about that. He would have loved to see you pregnant, see you glow as you wore those cute overalls and prepared for a child that he gave you. To see you smile at him every day and let him make love to you, show you how excited he was to share this with you. Show you how you were the only person he wanted a family with, the only person he ever wanted to be bound to. He had wanted to give that to you and that wasn't a lie. When you first spoke those words to him so long ago about wanting to have a family, wanting to have someone to come home to, someone who loved you, Ben had wanted to be the one to give you those things.
He would have done anything to make you happy, still would. But now he was upset with himself. Guilty that he wasn't there for you when you needed him the most, guilty that he allowed himself to stay away as long as he had, and guilty that he hadn't fought harder to get back to you.
He imagined those years without him raising a child on your own, the sleepless nights you must have had, the way you must have never had a moment of quiet-.
Ben felt himself sinking deeper and deeper into despair when he thought of the years you must have spent alone raising his child, loving his child even though he threw you away.
She loves me that much? How can I ever deserve her?
Ben still didn't breathe, noting the way Legend, Butcher, and Hughie have fallen silent where they stand behind the two of you. Even Legend had stopped smoking his blunt, something that Ben wished he could take a hit from.
I'm a dad and I-
Ben's memories of his own father came up like the rising tide, the shit his father said to him, the way his father pushed him away, the way his father was never there when he needed him to be and the way that his father always made him feel like he wasn't enough, just as your mother made you feel.
Even after all this time, I did become him, I abandoned her and then I abandoned my kid. I wasn't there when they needed me the most, I am a fuck up I- Ben swallows, the overwhelming thoughts dragging him further and further beneath the waves. How could she still want me? How can she say that I've never disappointed her when I did this?
You drop your hands from his cheeks and he misses the warmth they brought, but worse is the look in your eyes. You look scared. It was the same look you'd had on your face this morning when he woke up with you in his arms.
Ben hated that, because he knew why. He knew that you were scared to tell him this because you thought he would leave you again, that you still didn't completely believe that he was never going to leave you again, and it broke something deep inside of him that he tried to hide away for decades. He wished that he had never done those things to you, wished that he had earned back your trust already, wished that you would let him make love to you to show you how much you meant to him, but deep down he knew that he was willing to wait for you even if it took the rest of his life, he would make you trust him again.
At least she's touching me and looking me in the eye now.
But he knew that he still had a long way to go.
“Right.” Butcher clears his throat awkwardly. “Don’t forget to fill up the tank.” He tosses his keys towards you and you catch them in your hand while Ben continues to stand there.
Honestly he still wasn't sure what to say. He was stuck somewhere between guilt and shock and he wasn't sure how to make his body move. Pretty soon he would die from asphyxiation. He hadn’t taken a breath since you said it.
Butcher, Legend, and Hughie walk into the house behind them each wearing a bewildered expression. Ben had been to Legend's summer house many times in the past. He had memories of orgies and parties that went on for days, both of which you never went to, and Ben always ended up at your apartment trying to sleep it off while you sketched quietly beside him. He still couldn't understand that, how you were able to sit there with him and act like your heart wasn't breaking each time he did that.
The silence grows between you and Ben can't find the words to fill it, because he has no idea what to say, no idea how you can look at him when he did this to you, when he got you pregnant and then abandoned you like you didn't matter.
"Look I-" You stammer, looking down at the ground for a minute to take a breath before you raise your eyes to look at him. "I didn't want to tell you like this, but I can't leave her. We have the same last name and the first thing Homelander's going to do is make that connection. I mean, Legend and I made up the story about Indigo being my mom, but Rosemary she-"
Ben's entire body explodes again with emotion and shock as you utter the name Rosemary. He hadn't heard it in over eighty years, the last time was at his mother's funeral. The day that you crossed the gravesite, pulling away from your family, swaddled in another ridiculous dress that your mother picked out, and took his hand, refusing to let it go.  You were always there for him.
And then I wasn't fucking there for her.
“I just can’t leave her, not with him.” You whisper, glancing up into Ben's impassive face but he can't say anything.
How can I when she named our daughter after my mother?
“I know it’s a lot to take in. I tried to tell you this morning, but then Butcher walked in and I didn’t want to do this in front of him and- and-“ You were babbling now, a nervous habit that Ben hadn't seen you do in ages, but was now rearing its ugly head all over again. “And you don’t have to come with me-“
You were mistaking his silence for fear, mistaking his silence as him pulling away all over again. He could see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice as it trembled.
“Rosemary.” Ben whispers, your daughter's name, his daughter's name, interrupting you.  He barely breathes it, so low that he's not sure you heard him, saying the name with a reverence that he'd never used before. It was the first thing he'd said since you told him that he was a dad.
“Yes?" You look confused.
“You named her after my mom?” Ben’s eyes catch yours, deep green and open. He could feel his own heart flutter when he asked you that, heating in his chest so hot that he thinks it might melt out of it, through the bones and sinew. If that happened he would catch it and give it to you as if you already didn’t have it.
Ben can hear your heartbeat stutter when he asks you that. It was surprising, surprising that after everything that happened you still did that for him, did that to remember him.
He watches the end of your lips twitch in a smile.
“Yeah. You loved your mom. And did you think I was going to name her after my mom? Really?” You smile faintly at him with the joke.
Ben almost smiles at the thought. There wasn't any way that you wanted to remember your mother. Hell, all Ben wanted was to help you forget her, to undo the damage that she'd done to you all those years ago, because he saw how her influence still weighed on you, how everything that happened in the past still sat on your shoulders.
And he wanted to relieve that.
“I did try to tell you.” You repeat, but your smile drops.  “Honestly I also want to stop and get some clothes from my apartment  so I’m not covered in blood or rubble when I see her. It's going to be hard to explain all of this to her.”
Ben drags his eyes down your outfit again. Although this morning all he wanted was to rip it off you and study your curves with his hands, the outfit looked weathered. There was a prominent hole through the jacket and shirt, just under your left breast that Ben couldn't look away from. He knew what it meant. It was from you pushing him out of the way of Homelander. He could still feel the anger prickling beneath his skin when you again did the thing that he told you not to do. You were just so stubborn sometimes and never wanted to listen to him. Ben didn't give a single fuck that Homelander had punched him and practically choked him, the only thing he cared about was that Homelander had killed  you. There were many things that Ben fantasized about doing to Homelander when he had killed you, many he wished that he had been able to accomplish before Homelander tucked his tail and flew away like a little pussy.
He cannot be what passes for a hero these days.
Then again another side of him was incredibly turned on when you faced Homelander. He'd never admit that to you, but there was something sexy about the way you threw Homelander around like he was nothing. It had taken an extreme amount of effort for Ben not to kiss you after Homelander flew away, to take you back into the ruined house and show you just how much he liked your outfit and how much he enjoyed watching you kick Homelander's ass. Of course he'd let the anger win in the moments that followed the fight.
"Okay." Ben replies.
He sees you hesitate. “I guess I’ll see you when I get back.” You reply, with a tight smile, disappointment flashing in your eyes.
“What are you talking about?” Ben’s eyebrows furrow together. He was confused. “I’m coming with you.”
“Really?" He watches your eyes widen in surprise.
 Did she really think I'd let her go alone to do this?
"Yes? I told you that I didn't want you to go alone. Especially with that asshole flying around." Ben could feel himself frown.
"Okay."
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Reader POV
The first ten minutes of the drive is deathly quiet. Ben doesn’t say anything and you fight to keep your mouth shut. The urge to fill the silence bristled beneath your skin, but you clamp your lips together.
Even when he said he wanted to come with me, he didn't acknowledge anything I said about Rosemary and-
“Are you sure she’s mine?” Ben finally asks interrupting your internal monologue.
You can’t help but laugh, gripping the steering wheel as you snort.  “Why is that the reaction all men have when a woman tells them that they’re pregnant? Is it because all men believe that women go around plotting ways to force them into a relationship? Is that a legitimate fear that you guys have? Or is it because all men think women go jumping from bed to bed having unprotected sex with whoever they can get their hands on?”
“No I just-“ Ben sighs and doesn’t finish his sentence. He’s been staring out through the windshield, watching the outside world fade into blurred colors, glancing over at you every few seconds.
“I’m sorry.” You hadn’t meant to laugh at him, but this was all just extremely awkward.
But it shouldn’t be. You can’t help but think to yourself. If Ben had ever asked me to have a kid with him before any of this I would have agreed to it no questions asked. But now I guess it's different.
“Yes she’s yours.” You sigh, but you can’t look at him.
“But how?”
“Do you really want me to explain the birds and the bees to you?”
“Y/n.” He sighs.
“Because of all the people in the world, you probably have enough experience to know exactly how babies are made and I hate to break it to you, it has nothing to do with a stork.”
 “Please don’t make a joke right now.”
“I can’t help it.” You mutter butterflies dancing the conga in your stomach. “You know how I get when I get nervous.” You could practically feel your neurons sending electrical impulses through your body, making your anxiety grow.
I really should have had that coffee this morning. Then again it might go right to my anxiety.
“Why are you nervous?” Ben asks you incredulous. He sounds surprised, like he can't understand you.
“Huh?”
“Why are you nervous? You should be fucking furious with me!"
"Ben what are you talking about?" You turn to look over at him. He looks wrecked. He's hunched in the seat, hands clenched tightly over his thighs, jaw tight.
Is he mad at me? Really? Your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach to be devoured by the swarm of butterflies. I knew it. I knew he wouldn't be able to handle this-
"I did this to you and then I fucking left you. I left you when you needed me and was with those Russian fucks for forty-“ Ben’s voice breaks.
You suddenly understand. Ben wasn’t angry with you, he wasn’t pulling away, he was angry with himself. Guilty and angry because he wasn't there, because he believed that he disappointed you again.
“Ben wait a minute-“
“I should have been there every second.” He seethes, jaw tight, hands clenched into fists on top of his thighs. “I should have- FUCK.” Ben’s fist goes through the roof of the car, making the entire frame shudder.
Shit Butcher might kill us for that.
"Oh Ben-" You whisper.
“I-“ His chest begins to glow. “I said all those things, pushed you away, fucked Countess. I put you through all that shit and you still wanted to have my fucking kid? And you named her after my mom? I-"
Butcher will definitely kill us if Ben blows up his car.
You pull the car over to the side of the road, quickly unbuckling your seatbelt and reaching for Ben. "Ben please it's okay." You breathe, hands finding the sides of his face. "It's okay."
"No it's not." His chest dulls, but he turns his head away from you ashamed. "You told me that you wanted a family, that you wanted someone to come home to, someone who loved you. I wanted to give you those things, but not like this. I-" Ben's voice cracks. "I'm so sorry. I-"
"Ben." You whisper, turning his face back to yours so he's looking at you. His green eyes are dim, eyebrows pushed together, mouth turned down in a frown. And you can't help but kiss him. It's the first kiss you'd had in years. Life always seemed to get in the way of that. Whether it was Rosemary or Lou, you hadn't had a lasting relationship with someone in decades, not since Ben. The most you’d done is gone out with another artist and had dinner. It had ended in an awkward kiss that felt completely wrong to you. It didn't feel anything like this.
Kissing Ben was even more wonderful than you remember. The way he softly sighs into your mouth as he deepens the kiss, the way his hands find your waist to pull you over the center console into his lap, the way your hands automatically tangle in his thick dark hair on the back of his head, and the way your entire body melted into him. Warm tingles trace down your spine as your lips move against his, every synapse in your body electrifying, as you try your hardest to tell him how much he means to you with the kiss.
"Don't you understand." You say against his lips, stroking your fingers through his hair. "You did. You gave me a family. You gave me someone to come home to, someone who loves me. And now that she’s all grown up it gets to be you. You didn’t ruin my life. I don’t regret a single moment, even with everything that happened. I don't regret having Rosemary. You gave me what I wanted. It might not have looked the way I thought it would, but it doesn't make it any less special.”
"But I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I-" Ben sighs leaning his forehead against yours and you kiss him again, his tongue tangling with yours so devastatingly languid it seems to take your next breath.
Why did I ever deny myself this?
"Ben, you're here now, and that's all that matters to me."
"But-"
"You don't need to apologize for this Ben. What happened to you was not your fault. You couldn't control being away as long as you were-"
"I could have tried harder to escape. I could have-" He swallows, eyes wide and filled with pain. "I would have tried harder if I knew that I left you with-"
"Ben." You breathe, extracting your fingers from his hair and cupping his cheeks. "Please. I don't blame you for not being there. It was out of your control. And if-" You clear your throat with a sigh. "If you really love me as much as you say, if you've really loved me all this time, then I know you would have been there every second."
"I do. I love you." He kisses you again, breathing you in, holding you so tight against his chest as if he believes that you'll fade away in his arms. "I would have been, even if you hated having me there."
"I might have at the beginning, but now I can't imagine losing you. I can't imagine you leaving me. I don't think that I'll be able to survive this time-"
"I won't leave. I promise."
"I'm starting to believe you." Your thumbs stroke against Ben's cheeks, smiling softly at him, trying to fight the urge to cry, because your emotions are getting the best of you all over again. "Now can we please go? Or are you going to blow up Butcher's car?"
"One more Sweetheart." Ben murmurs, dragging your face back to his. "I've waited forty years for this."
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"Does she know about me?" Ben says from your bedroom, over the sound of the sink.
You were standing in your bathroom, washing ash and blood from your face and picking rubble out of your hair. Honestly, you looked… weathered. The revenge outfit had a large irreparable hole that went through the blouse, not to mention you'd lost another favorite jacket and you were starting to get pissed.
Two down in a week. Maybe the vintage shop across the street from Rosemary's will have a nice selection. You reconsider. Or maybe Legend will have some clothes that he doesn't want. You smile to yourself. He certainly looks the same, must have some nice vintage clothes from the "good old days". Maybe I should be more worried about the fact that I’m more upset about ruining another jacket rather than the fact that we killed two people today.
Of course, you also needed to consider getting Ben some more clothes as well. Butcher's minimal selection was dismal, then again Ben could probably wear a garbage bag and be drop dead gorgeous.
He's the worst.
"Yeah. I told her who you were." You pull off the jacket, stroking your finger around the hole in the back of it, noticing the way the singed leather melted away from the laser. "She also knows you're back. It was-um- it was Rosemary who was texting me this morning." You momentarily feel guilty again. Rosemary was not excited to see Ben, the text messages this morning were a testament to that. And you were afraid that Ben was going to get his hopes up about seeing her.
Personally you weren't sure how he was going to approach this. Your heart just about broke when he almost exploded in the car from guilt about getting you pregnant. That was shocking, but at the same time the look of anguish on his face made you feel guilty all over again for not trying to get him sooner, for not asking more questions about his death. You knew that he was more indestructible than you. Why didn't I question that?
You reach for the bottom of the blouse, pulling it from your skin, but you look at your reflection in the mirror. There were two prominent scars, each about the size of a nickel, just under the left side of your bra. The only thing left behind from your fight with Homelander.
Ben's hand against the small of your bare back, makes you jump. It was rough and familiar, brushing against your soft skin in a way that makes you want to push back into his touch, to soak up the warmth like a cat in the sun. Proving again that your body still responded to his touch the same way it had your entire life. "Let me see." He rumbles.
"What?"
Ben turns you towards him, eyes dark as they meet yours, but then they drop to the collection of scars on your torso. "This one?" He strokes the golf-ball sized, almost perfect circle on the right lower part of your abdomen.
"Countess."
Ben's jaw tightens, but then raises his hand to the scars Homelander left then to the bullet scar just over your heart. "I hate that so many of these have to do with me."
"Well you didn't do them so you should see that as a win." You joke trying to make Ben smile, but he doesn't. "Ben we talked about this."
"I know." He pauses stroking his finger on a thin line just over your left collarbone.  It was new to him. "What’s this one?"
"Rosemary." A ghost of a smile is on my lips. "Didn't want to eat her broccoli when she was a kid, telekinetically threw a knife at me by accident."
 "She's a supe?"
"Yeah she's like us a bit. Doesn't age, she's strong, and more invulnerable, but she doesn't have any other powers unless she touches you."
"She has to touch you?"
"Yeah skin to skin contact only and only 24 hours, that's how she got telekinesis. She touched me and, well, really didn’t want to eat that broccoli-" You shrug. You were used to her powers, happy that you didn't have to watch her age, but worried about Lou. You were always worried about Lou. “But she's not a hero, she didn't want to be one. She's a nurse, works downtown in the emergency room. Though I think she's thinking about being a doctor."
"A doctor? A female doctor?” Ben’s eyebrows furrow.
Right. He basically missed the feminist movement. Note to self, make Ben watch the Barbie movie.
"Yes a female doctor. Nowadays it happens more often than you’d think.” You laugh. “She wanted to go back to school, but then her husband died and she was taking care of Lou-"
"Lou?"
You take his hand stroking your thumb over the back. “It’s not just Rosemary-“
“Please do not tell me you had fucking twins.” Ben tenses.
“No.” You snort. “Lou is our granddaughter. It's short for Louisa, though Rosie never calls her that unless she's done something crazy.  She’s four, and most of the time she calls me aunty. She doesn’t know I’m her grandmother. Rosie and I, we thought it would be better if I introduced her as my cousin, not as my daughter."
“What happened to her husband?”
“Car accident. Just a few weeks after Lou was born.” Your smile drops remembering. “He was a good guy. Rosemary was head over heels for such a long time, and when he died she just crumbled completely shut down. He wasn't a supe and when she started to have a life with him I was worried about him dying. He wasn't going to live forever and he certainly wasn't indestructible. But after it happened I moved in with them for a while, helped her get through it, but it was hard."
"What about Lou?"
"What about her?"
"Is she a supe?" Ben's palm was still resting on the thin line over your collar bone and it was difficult to think with his bare skin pressed against yours.
"Not that we've noticed. Though I worry every day she will be."
"Why?"
"She's a third generation supe from our bloodline. If that gets out, who knows what'll happen. Same with Rosemary. She’s powerful and she’s only second generation from us. I’m hoping it skipped Lou.” You sigh leaning forward into his hand. "When I first found out that I was pregnant with Rosemary I was afraid that Vought would come take her away. And then when Lou was born I was so happy for Rosie, but everyday I'm scared that-" The words catch in your throat. Nothing really scared you anymore, but the thought of losing Rosie or Lou broke your heart, it was the same fear you had at the thought of losing Ben all over again.
He slides his hand up the column of your throat to cup your cheek.  “Nothing will happen to them.” Ben promises. “I won’t let it.” His gaze was locked on yours, eyes filled with steely determination. It made your heart warm to know that Ben already cares about them, that he understood how important they were to you. It also made you all the more guilty for telling Rosemary everything about Ben, afraid that it turned her against him.
But I told her the bad and the good. I told her how much he meant to me, how he touched my life, our childhoods-
Images of the moments with Ben over your lifetime, the good and the bad, the moments you loved him, the moments you hated him, the simple moments that you longed for more, and the moments where Ben gave you everything you wanted, when he was exactly what you needed, as if he understood every part of you, even the parts that you tired to hide from everyone else. The moments before you were supes when Ben and you were together and he made you forget about your mother, when he walked you home as you sang drunkenly off key, and the moments where he cheered you up when everything seemed hopeless. Ben was always there for you.
You tried to tell her that, but maybe you were too jaded to tell her, maybe you focused too much on the bad. And now that meant she might not listen to his side of the story.
He drags his finger over the scar just over your heart, the one he can't seem to forget, trailing goosebumps in it's wake, while his other hand wraps around your waist tugging you forward against his chest.
By now he was wearing the pair of jeans and dark shirt he came to your apartment in, looking just as devastatingly handsome as he always did. Probably a good thing that he didn't go to her apartment in his supe suit, you didn't want Rosemary to ask him why he was wearing it and then have to tell her that he torched the TNT Twins.
Because telling her that you personally kicked Homelander's ass and that he was now going to hunt down Rosemary and Lou seemed so much easier. Not.
Why is my life like this?
"I can't put a shirt on if you keep doing that." You whisper. Honestly you couldn't think straight either.
"Maybe that's my plan all along."
"Well see, if I never put a shirt on that means that I'll be walking around in public with everyone seeing me without one and-"
Ben's eyes narrow at the thought.
“Oh do you not like that?” You smirk.
He pins you back against the counter, the marble biting into your lower back, but you don’t have time to think about it because Ben’s lips are against yours, supple and urgent, driving every thought from your mind.
Your hands come up to grip his shoulders, fastening him tighter against you while his mouth drags over your skin down your throat to your collarbone.
“Ben we have to go-“ you whisper.
“Let me do this first.” He mutters against your skin.
“Do what?” You sigh, feeling him begin to suck a mark directly over your collarbone. “Ben-“ You try to say his name to make him stop. Showing up to Rosemary’s apartment with a hickey was the last thing you wanted. But instead of his name coming out in the harsh whisper you intended, it comes out as a moan.
Ben’s body tightens around you, gaze meeting yours. His eyes are dark pools filled with promises that make a shiver travel down your spine. “I’ve waited forty years to hear you say my name like that again.” His lips fall back to the same spot. “And I look forward to hearing it like that in the future.”
Part of you is screaming too soon! But there’s another part rattling the bars of her cage that screams more! At the top of its lungs.
Ben continues to kiss along your neck, beard scratching against the soft skin in a way that makes you sigh and move your hands up to tangle in his hair.
You can feel Ben’s smile. “That’s my girl.”
“Only yours.” You whisper before you can stop yourself causing Ben to raise his head from your collarbone.
“Damn right.”He growls.
And there goes my last shred of willpower. Fuck.
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Rosemary’s apartment building sends a deep feeling of dread through your system. You were happy that you got to change, happy that Ben got to change, but now thanks to the man sitting in the front seat across from you there was a large purple mark just on your collarbone that was barely covered by the long sleeved sweater you had on.
Please let Rosemary not see it.
Ben wasn’t helping. Since your apartment he hadn’t let go of your hand. The entire ride to Rosemary’s he held it over the center console of Butcher’s car, slowly stroking the back of it with his thumb making warm tendrils creep up your arm and settle in your heart. It was just like the night after the restaurant when Ben drove you home and he showed a softer side of himself that you hadn’t seen in forty years.
In the past 48 hours Ben had been more attentive and loving than he ever had and it made you hopeful for the future, hopeful that this really was going to work.
But you  were still afraid that this was happening so fast. You weren’t expecting yourself to be so open to forgiving him, to be so ready to let him back in, to let him pick up the pieces of your heart but there he was holding duct tape with his piercing eyes and annoyingly gorgeous face.
“This is a nice apartment building.” Ben says looking up at the towering behemoth.
“She really likes it.” You shrug. “It’s close to a lot of schools and Rosie’s job. I kinda thought it was too uppity.”
“Neighborhood looks safe.” Ben gets out of the car.
“Yeah it-“ You begin to say trying to open your door but as soon as you do Ben is there opening it for you. “Oh thanks.”
“You look surprised.” He smiles.
“It’s just been a while since someone has opened a door for me.”
Ben’s smile twitches for a second. “Y/n?”
“Yes Ben.” You smooth the front of his shirt.
“How many others have there been?” He asks quietly.
You pause for a second hand still on his chest.   As ridiculous as it might seem to some people, the truth was there hadn’t been anyone else.
At first it was difficult to find time for anything eat alone that in particular. Chasing a toddler around that occasionally picked up the couch and threw it across the room with her mind was enough to keep anybody busy, not to mention that you didn’t want to leave Rosemary alone with anyone for a night. And when Rosemary finally went off the college and you started to sell your paintings you started to get more comfortable being on your own again. You’d gone out to dinner with a few men who asked you after your show shared a kiss, but nothing ever felt right.
Finally came the one night that you thought things could be different. Max was a colleague that had flirted with you every chance he got. He wasn’t bad looking, reminded you a bit of Ben and your friend Adam Winthrop growing up. Max was also an artist who came to each of your shows, talked you down from the ledge whenever you thought the work wasn’t good enough and always took you out to get a drink after a show to make you feel better. He was sweet, funny, but when you were with him something always felt different.
But one night you figured why not? So you gave in, went back with Max to his apartment, but you couldn’t go all the way. It felt wrong. You could tell how much he liked you, how much he wanted you, but you didn’t want him. And it felt wrong to use someone. To make them believe you had feelings for them only to push them away.
So you told Max the truth and he respected you, didn’t make anything weird between the two of you, acted like nothing happened.
But now standing here in front of Ben with him asking you that question apart of you wished you had found someone else.
“Why?” You ask slowly.
Ben shrugs. “I don’t know you just haven’t- I mean we haven’t talked about that and-“
“I have never asked you how many people you’ve slept with. And I really don't think this is the best time?"
“I know that you've never asked but the last time I saw you I mean-" Ben's hand gently touches your waist, stroking against the top of your favorite worn pair of jeans.
You knew exactly what he was thinking about, he was thinking about the night you shared together, when he was everything you wanted, and he made you feel special loved, when he was gentle and made love to you the way you always imagined.
And yes maybe sex was off the table for a while, but it would come up again, eventually.
"Ben, can we talk about this after we get Rosemary and Lou back to Legend's?" You whisper placing a hand on his chest before you can stop yourself. You weren't sure if you'd ever be able to stop touching him, if you'd ever be able to stand in his presence and not feel warm or happy. You never expected it to be like this again, and certainly not so soon.
Ben looks disappointed for a moment, his green eyes flashing in the brilliant sunlight as it begins to sink behind the buildings. The wind carried the smells of summer, ice cream, beer, sunscreen, and just a hint of rain, rustling through the trees on the edge of Central Park. There would be a storm soon and you hoped that you were on the road before it hit. You hated driving in the rain.
"Okay." He releases your waist and takes your hand once more. "But we are going to talk about it right?"
"I don't see why it's so important." You steer him towards the front double doors where the doorman, Rodger, stands in a green and gold suit.
"Welcome back miss." Rodger smiles and opens one of the heavy glass doors for Ben and you.
"Thank you Rodger. How's the wife?" You flash a winning smile at him, still holding on tight to Ben who walks silently next to you.
"She's doing a lot better. The treatments are going well. She seems more like herself each day." Rodger smiles wider, eyes misting a little bit.
"That's wonderful to hear. Tell her I say hello." You say continuing to the gilded elevator that sits on the other side of the large marble lobby of the apartment building.
The truth was you knew that his wife was doing better, just as you knew she was receiving her treatments. Last Christmas Rodger had broken down when he was letting you up to see Lou and Rosemary and told you that his wife was diagnosed with lung cancer and because they didn’t have the money for treatment, it would probably be her last Christmas. Rodger was one of the kindest people you knew, and you didn't want him to lose his wife, so Rosemary and you both decided to shift around the generous funds that her grandfather left you, to send an anonymous donation so Rodger's wife could get treatment.
"Of course miss."
The elevator door closes, leaving Ben and you alone again, playing a cover of "Don't Stop Believing" on the piano.
 Ben tugs you close and kisses you softly, so soft that it makes your eyes flutter while he smiles down at you. "I love you."
"What did you do?" You joke, nerves of Rosemary seeing Ben gone for a moment.
"You have such a big heart." He strokes his finger down your cheek, eyes soft as he gazes at you.
"He was going to lose his wife." You murmur. Ben was doing it again, seeing through you, understanding you even without knowing the whole story. It was like he always had a way of laying you bare, able to see your thoughts and secrets even though he wasn't a mind reader. "He loves her so much and for him to lose her like that-"
Ben hugs you closer to his chest. "I understand what that's like."
You see where his mind is, see that it's on a beach overseas, with blood soaked sand and your body lying in his arms as you draw your last breath. It hurt you to see the pain in his eyes, the loss even when you were standing right in front of him, even when you were in his arms, pressed against him in the way that always made you think that he was made for you just as the way you were made for him.
How could I ever forget how he made me feel? How wonderful it was to be with him when all you could see was the boy you grew up with?
"I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere. I promise." You kiss him gently on the tip of his nose. It was more to reassure yourself than anything else. Rosemary was not going to react well to seeing him.
Might as well rip the band aid off right now.
The hallway is quiet, carpet plush and thick beneath your shoes and Ben and you make your way to the door at the end of the hallway. The blue paint is supposed to be calming, but your anxiety spikes as you raise your free hand to knock against the front door.
Please let her be here and not be kidnapped by Homelander.
The door opens.
Rosemary is dressed for work. Her maroon scrubs are clean and neat, her dark hair pulled back in a bun, her make up soft. She looks calm, but you can see the coming storm, just as you felt the coming storm outside the building, feel the electricity against your skin before the thunderclouds rose on the horizon. As soon as her eyes meet yours they narrow.
She's pissed.
"What are you doing here? I told you that I didn't need you to watch Lou tonight. Her babysitter is coming." Rosemary glances at Ben once, frown deepening as she notices his hand holding yours. You knew she was still holding back what she wished to say, choosing rather to ignore his presence rather than tear him apart here.
"I know. I'm not here for that. We have to go." You say, not wanting to discuss the full gravity of the situation in the hallway, but Rosemary shifts to block the doorway.
"You're not coming in. Not with him." She spits the word 'him' like it's a curse and you feel Ben's body tense in surprise.
I should have prepared him for this.
"Hi I’m-" Ben begins to say, trying to smooth things over.
"I know who you are." Rosemarys eyes narrow and flick back to you. “I can’t believe you fucking forgave him.”
"I-"
"Before you say you didn't that fucking hickey on your neck says otherwise."
Your cheeks flush bright red in embarrassment, shifting the sweater to hide it again. “Rosie-“
“No no no. I don’t want to hear it.”
“Rosie-“ Ben tries to say.
"Don't you dare call me that." She snarls, face contorting in rage, burning so hot that you could practically feel the air around her raising in temperature. "You don't know me. We're not friends. And I don't care what she says, you're not my dad. You're just the asshole that fucked my mom, got her pregnant and then ripped her heart out." Rosemary spits. “Do you have any idea what you put my mother through? Do you have any idea?"
Ben's body is still tense beside you, pulled so taunt that you don't know how he hasn’t snapped "I know and I apolo-“
“You think one measly apology makes that okay? MAKES ANY OF THIS OKAY?”
“Can we please not do this in the hallway?” You sigh. The last thing you wanted was Mrs. Norbert, Rosemary's prehistoric nosy neighbor coming out into the hall with her yappy French poodle, the same one that always snapped at your ankles and at Lou when you ran into her in the lobby.
“He’s not coming in here.” Rosemary stands her ground in the doorway.
"I know that you’re angry, but I need you to put that aside right now because there are more pressing things we have to worry about.” 
"Like what?" Her eyes narrow at you. "Oh let me guess, you guys fucked again, you're pregnant and now you're going to-"
"Don't you dare speak to her that way." Ben roars trying to step in front of you,  but you put your hand up to stop him.
Rosemary might be your daughter, but to Ben she was someone who insulted you, family or no, he wasn't going to sit back and let her treat you that way.
"Ben." You say once to calm him down. The last thing you wanted was for him to go nuclear right now. "Rosemary please. I know that you're angry, but we're not here for some big reunion. This is more important than any of this. This is about keeping Lou safe."
At the mention of her daughter's name, you see Rosemary's resolve waver. Her eyes flick to Ben again, once more sizing him up. "Fine." She opens the door wider, so Ben and you can come inside the apartment.
The creative chaos of the living room soothes some of your nerves, but not all. This was going poorly. Well, worse than poorly. Rosemary could barely look at Ben let alone speak to him without looking like she'd smelled something rancid.
You knew it would be bad, but you didn't think that it would be like this.
Apart of your heart broke for Ben. You saw how he acted in the car when you told him he was a father, how upset he'd been at the thought of getting you pregnant and then abandoning you. And now Rosemary was basically making him feel like a deadbeat probably wasn't helped either.
All you hoped was that Ben wasn't focusing on what his father used to say to him about being a disappointment, hoped that he wasn't reliving the memories of everything his father shouted at him at night before Ben fled to the solace of your bedroom.
Because the truth was you weren't disappointed and certainly were not disappointed when you got pregnant. Heartbroken yes. Scared shitless, again yes. But not disappointed, you'd never say that about him or to him, not as long as you lived. You knew exactly what those words would do to him, exactly where they would transport him. And you refused to be the reason Ben was reminded of his father.
"Aunty y/n!" Lou crows as she weaves through the apartment, leaping off the teal colored couch and into your open arms. She squeezes you tightly, burying her face in your neck. To see her safe brings relief washing over you, the same feeling you felt when Rosemary opened the door, but tenfold now knowing that Homelander has not taken either or them.
And he won't ever.
"I missed you." She whispers.
"I missed you too honey." You smile down at your granddaughter. She leans back to glance at her mother who still stands at the front door, holding on to the handle like it's her last nerve. Ben is standing close to you, looking at the little girl in your arms, face impassive, but his eyes betray him, caught somewhere between shock, anger, and just a twinge of guilt.
Please don't be guilty Ben. You think to yourself, trying hard not to reach out and touch him.
"Mommy why were you yelling at aunty y/n?"  Lou looks at where Rosemary stands awkwardly by the door glaring at Ben.
"Because I didn’t tell her my friend Ben was coming." You say rubbing her back softly.
"Him?" She points at Ben.
"Yes. And don't point honey it's rude."
"Hi." Lou gives him a toothless smile and waves her chubby hand at him, her dark hair flopping away from her face as she does so.
Ben blinks at her for a moment, before his mouth begins to quirk in a half smile, shoulders still tense. But you could see that he was trying, and it meant something that he was despite Rosemary practically tearing him a new one in the hallway.
"He looks like mommy." Lou giggles cuddling into your neck to look at him.
It was the one thing that you hadn't prepared Ben for, how much he looked like Rosemary, how similar they were. You knew that somewhere deep down he was probably thinking the same thing.
Rosemary's eyes skate to Ben who stares back at her with the same intensity, but something passes in the air between them, something that you can't place.
"Yes. Yes he does sweetie. Now why don’t you go get your art kit for me, and we’ll go." You put her on the ground and Lou scampers off to her bedroom while the three of you stand there in awkward silence.
"Why do we have to go? I thought you didn’t expose yourself because you didn't go to Russia to get him." Rosemary asks. She still wouldn’t say his name. Then again you weren't expecting her to call him dad.
HA. Like that would ever happen.
Ben scoots closer to you reaching for your hand, but when Rosemary narrows her eyes at him, he pauses halfway. So you take his hand instead. "I did expose myself."
"How? Because of him?"
"Look I get that you're pissed, but I'm asking you to put it aside for one second so we can talk about this."
"Fine." Rosemary crosses her arms over her chest. "I'm listening." She still looks angry.
And you know what you're about to say is going to make her even angrier.
"We went to talk to the TNT Twins and things went south." You begin, swallowing the lump in your throat.
"Why?"
"I'll explain that later. But all you need to know is that things went badly and Homelander showed up."
Rosemary's hands tighten on her biceps so tight that her knuckles turn white at the mention of Homelander. Like you Rosemary didn't have any experience with him, only that she also knew there was something off about him.
"What did you do?" She whispers.
"It's not what she did, it's more what that fucker did." Ben almost spits, his skin heating where it rests in your hand.
"Ben." You say squeezing his hand softly as a warning. He gains control. "There wasn't a choice. We got into a fight-"
Rosemary's eyes widen, inhaling sharply. And before she can stop herself, she touches your shoulder, eyes tracing your body as if looking for injuries. "Did he hurt you? Are you okay?"
"Yes Rosie I'm fine, but he knows who I am and that means-"
"He knows who we are." Her eyes flick in the direction Lou went to grab her bag. "Shit."
"You can say that again." Ben mutters.
"Give me five minutes." Rosemary looks from Ben to you for a moment. "But this doesn't change anything."
"I know. Just go. We'll wait here." You reply with a tight lipped smile.
You hoped that one day this would get easier, that Rosemary would be able to look at Ben or have a conversation with him without killing him. The three of you seemed to be practically immortal, that was a long time to hold a grudge. And you didn't want there to be a division in your family. You'd lived with one before and you didn't want to go back through that, the awkward holidays, passive aggressive letters, and tense conversations. You didn't want that for your new family.
Maybe if I show her how much Ben has changed she'll warm up to him.
"Are you okay?" You whisper.
Ben was looking around the living room with an unreadable expression, flicking through the photos on the back of the couch of Rosemary, You, and Lou to the hand drawn pictures on the refrigerator in the kitchen.
"Ben?"
"Yeah." He mutters. "I'm fine."
But you could tell he wasn't. He wasn't really focusing on anything, and even his tone of voice was strange, hollow, but before you could press him further Rosemary and Lou come back into the room.
"Here let me-" Ben steps forward to take one of the large duffle bags from Rosemary, attempting to help, but Rosemary yanks the bag out of his reach.
"No I don’t need your help. I don’t need anything from you."
"Rosemary-" You sigh.
"And she doesn’t either." Rosemary gestures to you with the bag. "Do you have any idea what you did to her? How much you hurt her? And now you think you can just waltz back in here and say 'oh I’ll fix it' like you didn’t fuck up her life?"
"Rosemary!" You shout eyes flicking to where Lou was standing with her TMNT  backpack on with wide eyes.
"No. You might not be able to say it to him. But I will. We don’t need you here. We've survived the past forty fucking years without you and we'll survive the next million!"
"Rosemary stop." You step forward this time to move between them, but Rosemary doesn't back down.
"Stop what?" She shouts. "Stop reminding you of what he did? I'm sorry, but I'm not going to just look into his eyes and forgive him like you did-"
"I DID NOT LOOK INTO HIS EYES AND FORGIVE HIM.” You snap, but then stop to take a breath. “We are working through it-"
"Uh-huh sure." Rosemary rolls her eyes. "Just stay away from Lou and from me." She moves around Ben with Lou in tow, storming through the front door of the apartment and leaving you and Ben in the living room.
Oh yeah… This is really working out for the best.
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The ride to Legend's is dead silent, all three hours, broken up only once when you stop for gas, but even then Rosemary won't speak to you. She barely makes eye contact as she takes Lou to the bathroom, leaving Ben and you to stand at the car, watching the rain soak through the cracked pavement outside. But even Ben has been more quiet than usual, staring through the windshield of the car lost in thought, and you didn't ask him to fill the silence. You figured that with everything that happened over the past few hours, Ben deserved some silence.
When Lou and Rosemary got back to the car, Ben had silently taken the car keys from you and slid behind the wheel. He knew how much you hated driving in the rain.
Legend didn't require an introduction to your daughter, but it had been an awkward meeting for Butcher and Hughie who breezed through the front hallway on the way up the stairs to their bedrooms.
And finally when it was just Ben, Rosemary, Lou, and you standing at the foot of the stairs, you still had no idea what to say, or if there really was anything to say. You knew that Rosemary didn't want to talk out everything in front of Lou.
By now it was past midnight and you could see that Lou was already starting to sway on her feet. It was hours past her bedtime, but she was still in good spirits. Lou never seemed to stop smiling, she was happy all the time, excited to try new things, and it always reminded you of the way Rosemary used to be when she was a child and as an adult before she lost her husband.
"Rosemary-" You begin to say, throat tightening.
"I'm going to take Lou to bed. We can talk in the morning." She doesn't look at Ben or you, but you could tell that she was tired. She was still wearing her maroon scrubs, hadn’t changed out of them, too worried about Homelander, but her hair had pulled free of the bun and her makeup was a little more smudged under her eyes now. "Say goodnight Lou."
"Goodnight aunty y/n." Lou says tottering over to you, and you stoop down on the ground to hug her close to your chest the anxiety about Homelander prickling under your skin once more.
“Tomorrow can we paint some?” She gives you a wide toothless smile.
She'd lost one of her front teeth a few days ago, and was particularly proud of the hole it left behind. She'd been excited to meet the tooth fairy, even wrote a thank you note and drew a picture of her holding her tooth out for the fairy.
“Whatever you want sweetie.” You smile as she pulls away, brushing her dark hair from her wide eyes.
But instead of going back to where Rosie is holding out her hand for Lou, she turns and hugs Ben’s leg where he stands next to you. Her head barely reaches the top of his knee, but it doesn't dissuade her from hugging him with all her might.
Ben stiffens, unsure what to do.
“Goodnight Ben.” Lou looks up at him with the same smile she had for you.
You feel your own lips begin to pull up at the edges to see how much Lou wanted Ben to like her, how much she was trying to make him feel at home. It warmed you heart.
Ben looks stunned for a minute, eyes flicking to yours wide, and Rosie looks angry, but slowly, Ben begins to smile. “Goodnight honey.” He rumbles giving her a pat on the head, because he's still not sure exactly how to handle this.
Lou smiles pleased with herself then lets Rosemary take her away waving once from over Rosemary's shoulder at Ben as Rosemary climbs the stairs in the direction of the room that Legend saved for them.
Ben stands there watching them go for a minute, lost in thought. “She doesn’t like me.”
“Lou? She loves you. Of course there’s a lot to love.” You smile, trying to take his hand, but Ben pulls away. His rejection pricks at your heart, you couldn't tell why he was doing that, why he was pulling away from you again.
Is he angry? At me? At Rosemary? Or Is this him being angry at himself all over again?
You thought that he was doing better up until you went to Rosemary’s apartment, thought that he wasn’t as upset about leaving you in the past. But now you weren’t sure.
“There’s a lot to hate.” He mutters, his eyes won't quite meet yours and the fear of him leaving begins to creep back, shuddering through your bones like the chill of a winter wind.
“As there is with anybody-“ You try to recover from his rejection, searching his face to understand why he was acting so different.
“I want Rosie to like me. I’m her father-“ He turns to stare at you, green eyes dark, filled with an clouding of emotions that strike you straight in the heart. It wasn't happiness, it wasn't love, it was something different, something that made a lump lodge itself in the back of your throat.
“I know Ben. She just needs some time-" You begin to say, reaching for him, but Ben steps away from you again, refusing to let you comfort him.
"Why did you tell her all those things about me? Did you really hate me that much?” Ben shouts, voice reverberating up the staircase, so loud that you're sure other people can hear you.
"What are you talking about-"
"All the shit that happened between us. Everything that happened that night. Everything I did-“
"She asked me for the truth and I didn't want to lie to her-" You try to explain.
You hadn't. You wanted her to know the truth about her father, just as she knew that truth about you. You thought that she deserved that. And it wasn't like you told Rosemary when she was three. You told her everything that happened when she was twenty three and she had just started seriously dating her future husband, when she was scared because she’d never felt that way about anyone before. And it reminded you of how you felt about the boy Ben used to be.
"I wish you had. Damnit y/n I'm her father, she should like me!" He seethes, fists clenched. Ben towers over you green eyes blazing in the soft light coming from the lights that line the hallway.
And somewhere deep down you start to feel angry. It comes surging up like the roar of a crowd pricking at the back of your spine until you can’t take it anymore.
"It's been 4 fucking hours since you met her, GIVE HER TIME."
"I can't believe you did this." Ben spits glaring at you.
"Are you serious right now?" Your mouth opens in shock.
Was this just some kind of joke? Is he really mad at me for this? Does he really think that I would do something like this purposely?!
"Did you really hate me that much? Did you really feel the need to turn her against me? Make her not love me?"
"I didn't turn her against you Ben. And I didn’t make her not love you." You snap back. "Yes I was angry with you, but that didn't mean that I didn't want you with me every single second in Rosemary's life.  I didn’t want to do that alone. I shouldn’t have had to but I don't blame you for that. I’ve told you that-“
“Yeah you’re really showing that. You turned her against me. Made me some villain. Made me some monster who fucked you and then left-“
“I THOUGHT THAT’S WHAT YOU DID DIPSHIT!” You poke your finger into his chest. “Just because I’ve chosen to begin to forgive you does not mean I forgot what you did and what you said to me that night. But I’ll say this.”
He tries to open his mouth to retort, but you speak first.
“Every time something happened with Rosemary I turned to tell you and you weren’t there.
When I went into labor I wished you were there to hold my hand and tell me that everything was going to be okay, I wished that you were there smiling down at her when you held her for the first time. When she took her first steps and fell on her butt I wished you were there to swing her around and make her laugh. When I showed her how to paint for the first time I wished that you were there to see how she was covered in paint from head to toe. And I only told her those things about you because she asked and I don’t lie to my family. I’ve never lied to Rosemary and I’ve never lied to you. Ever.”
Ben stands there stuck straight each muscle clenched, wether it be in frustration or anger you don’t care. Your own anger was coming back, unlocking from the place you shoved it down when you thought you needed to be the perfect person you wanted others to see you as and not the broken girl who lived with a hole in her heart for so long.
“And yeah maybe you can be in here and pout and fucking blame me for her hating you. And maybe I shouldn’t have told her those things but I did.  I told her the good and the bad about you just as she knows the good and the bad about me. She can make her own decisions because she’s a damn adult. And don’t you dare say that I didn’t want you there every second.  Because I did. Even though you fucking ripped my heart out and stomped all over it I still wished that you could have been there for her, could have filled her life with love as much as I did.”
"But you still did it." Ben growls.
And you realize that maybe this is it, maybe that this is the one thing that pushes him away from you.
"Fine. Hate me if you want. I'm going to get a drink. Don’t  follow me." You snap before turning and stomping towards the kitchen, away from him, all the while hoping that he’ll follow after you.
But he doesn’t.
Despite wanting to grab one of the bottles of whiskey in Legend's kitchen, you restrain yourself and instead turn to the coffeemaker. It was fancier than yours, but you supposed that coffee would taste the same. You busy yourself with the steps of making the coffee to stop going over what you and Ben just yelled at one another, but your hands were still shaking.
Did he really think I didn't want him there? I mean yeah I was pissed from everything that happened, but I didn't want Rosemary to grow up without a father. I would have told him eventually that I was pregnant, I didn't want to do that alone.
You pour yourself a cup of coffee and lean back against the counter as you take a sip remembering the day you took the pregnancy test. It was more obvious than anything else, not the lack of your period but the morning sickness. You never got sick. You remembered being afraid at first, the thought of raising a child alone scared you. You weren't sure you even wanted to be a mother, because of everything yours put you through. But then you thought of Ben. Yes you hated him, but the baby might be the last part of him that existed anywhere. If you decided not to have it, Ben would really be gone and you would be alone all over again. So you decided to have Rosemary and you never regretted that decision. Especially now that she had Lou.
You roll the cup in your hands, feeling the warmth of the mug transfer into your palms.
Maybe I shouldn't have told her everything I did. But she knows everything about me. She knows that I killed Countess. She knows the good and bad about me. It felt unfair to only tell her the good about Ben, she deserves to know the truth. She's just upset. Honestly, she's also a upset with me as well for forgiving him or partially forgiving him.
You move to the kitchen table, stretching out in the worn wooden chair and place your mug down on the circular dark wood table. You wanted Rosemary to warm up to him, but at the same time you didn't want to get in between them. She needed to do this for herself and you didn't want to force them together.
You hear someone enter the kitchen. Probably Ben. But when you look up you realize that it's Butcher.
He stands just on the edge as if he's debating whether or not he wants to come in.
"Didn't realize you were still up." He raises an eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise love?"
"You realize that the V is completely out of your system right now right? And I could slowly peel your skin from your body with my mind if I wanted to?" You mirror his eyebrow raise while taking a sip of coffee.
"Eh. Worse ways to go." Butcher shrugs. "Anything stronger in here than coffee?"
"Top cabinet above the refrigerator. The good stuff is in the back. Legend usually tries to hide it from himself."
“Why?”
“Because he thinks it’s a waste to drink the good stuff when he’s really drunk and can’t appreciate it.”
“Seems fair.” Butcher finds the bottle of whiskey easily, moving to the cabinets to find a glass. “You want a cuppa?”
“I told myself I wasn’t going to-“ You pause for a moment thinking of how wonderful it would be if you could just forget for a few minutes. “But sure.”
“Coffee not working?”
“It never has.” You take the cup gratefully from his outstretched hand as Butcher folds himself into the chair next to you. It was weird to say the least. The only thing he had done was act hostile to you and now him being nice was enough to give you whiplash.
The rest of the house was completely silent, except the soft turn of pages. You figured that meant Rosie was reading one of her books to distract herself from everything that happened earlier.
I should be in there talking to her. Trying to explain all this.
But you were tired and still reeling from your fight with Ben and didn’t feel like getting into it with Rosemary for the second time today.
“So why’d you do it?” Butcher takes a big swig from the glass in front of him.
“What?”
“You lied about your powers to Vought for years. Why?”
You roll the glass between your fingers, watching the amber colored liquid slosh against the sides. “I’ll answer that if you answer my question.”
Butcher pauses. “Fine.”
“What did Homelander do to your wife?”
Butcher freezes, leaning back in his chair, one hand on his thigh curling into a fist.
"Legend told me that you had this thing for him because of it-" You continue cocking your head to the side examining Butcher's sudden tense stance.
“Not important.”
“Then I guess you won’t find out more about me.” You shrug.
After the past few days you didn't understand how you were here drinking with Butcher of all people. You still didn't completely trust him and you didn't like that he wanted to use Ben like he was his own personal nuclear bomb.
You both sit in the silence for a few minutes waiting for the other to break.
“He raped her.”
The words are heavy, expelled in a breath after Butcher drains his glass. For a minute you see his tough exterior crack, see the vulnerability in his stature, but then it's gone again. You feel your heart thud once in your chest, jaw locking. It only proved again how messed up Homelander was.
“Is she-"
"She's dead." He pours himself another full glass from the bottle of whiskey.
"I'm sorry." You whisper, starting to understand why he hated Homelander so much. Honestly if Homelander did something like that to my family I would rip him limb from limb.
For the first time since you met Butcher, you feel sorry for him, you understand where the sadness in his gaze comes from and where the tough exterior seems to mask the vulnerability underneath.
But at the same time, you refused to underestimate him.
Butcher nods once then glances over at you expectantly as if re-asking his question with only a look.
“It’s never been about the power for me. Or about proving how powerful I was to other people. I got the injection because Ben asked me to. It wasn't because I wanted to be superhuman or god-like or special. Plus I figured as soon as Vought or the government found out what I could really do then I’d never see the light of day again.”
"But how did you keep it a secret from Vought? They have so many fucking connections." He presses.
"Honestly Ben and I didn't figure it out until the 60s."
"Why is that?"
"The first time I died it wasn't a supe that killed me so there wasn't a change. But later when more supes started coming out of the woodwork, that's when we realized it. And I didn't care."
"Somehow you had to care." Butcher leans forward in his chair, looking at you like you're crazy.
"I didn't have a reason to. Ben liked the spotlight and I didn't."
“Is that why you stopped being Indigo?”
“It’s my turn to ask a question cowboy.” You tap your glass with a smile. “Who’s Ryan?” You had heard Hughie and Butcher whisper the name a few times, figured that it was another supe they were planning to merc.
He hesitates. “Homelander’s kid.”
“He has a kid?” Your mouth drops open in shock.
How does Butcher know that? Is it because he's so obsessed with Homelander that he's going to ask Ben to go after Homelander's son? No. No way. Like hell I'm gonna let this guy kill a kid.
You try to think of a reason why Vought would keep Homelander's son out of the media, a reason why they wouldn't show that the golden boy had a perfect son.
“But how I mean-“ You stop tracing Butcher's face, watching the way his eyes harden, and how his jaw locks together and you realize why Butcher knows about Homelander's kid. “Your wife.”
Butcher doesn’t answer, doesn't confirm what you've said, instead he pours more from the bottle into his glass.
Wow that’s fucked up.
“I’d say I'm sorry again, but I don’t think it’s going to help and honestly I thought my life was way more fucked up than yours. Guess not.” You take a sip from the glass in front of you. It burns pleasantly as it travels down you throat reminding you how much you missed it. “It got old quick.”
“What did?” Butcher looks up from the wooden table.
“Being a hero dealing with all that Vought shit. Plastering a smile on my face, flaunting in front of the cameras, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Ben liked it. He was always in the spotlight, the golden boy and I was too, but we’d been doing it for years and I always- I don’t know- wanted a family.”
Your mind suddenly goes back to the night you told Ben that, the night that you told him what you wanted and how today Ben professed that he wanted to be the one to give you those things, always had wanted to give you those things.
The fight you just had resurfaces in your mind, thinking of how angry he was at you for telling Rosemary the truth about him.
I made my choice. She made hers. One day I think she'll warm up to him, but until then he's just going to have to get through this.
Just because you believed that did not make it any easier. Your heart was tearing in two. You wanted Rosemary to love him the way you did, but at the same time you were scared all over again that this would all be too much for Ben, too dramatic. He didn't like drama, never seemed to.
“Really?” Butcher doesn’t look convinced by your confession.
“Yeah. Plus I was pregnant with Soldier Boy's kid. Vought was obsessed with Ben and I know that if they knew about Rosemary they wouldn't hesitate to take her away. It would have been worse if they knew what my power was. I doubt they would have let either of us vanish into thin air. But even before that I was seriously thinking about getting out-“
“And Soldier Boy fucking Countess was the final nail in the coffin eh?” Butcher's smirk makes your stomach flip flop.
You were still trying to forget that. Really trying to forget that.
“Yeah.” You grumble into the glass momentarily remembering the night at the premiere, but this time seeing them together doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. And instead it’s replaced by Ben the past few days, the one that continued to reassure you of his love, the one who continued to hold you close to him, the one that kissed you whenever he could, the one who patiently waited for you, and the one who reminded you of the boy you lost all those years ago.
Butcher watches you for a moment. “I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard.”
You look at him surprised. It was the first time that Butcher seemed to actually, well, give a shit.
“Thanks. It was.” You wait a second. “So how did you meet Hughie?”
“Why is that important?”
“Because he’s nothing like you. He’s a good kid.”
“You sayin I ain’t a good person love?”
“Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.”
Butcher has the audacity to smile. “You know what I think? I think you pretend to be a good person but you’re really just a bitch who probably didn’t get enough hugs as a kid.”
You lean back in your chair feigning shock. “Is it that obvious?”
He shakes his head with a chuckle. “I don’t see how you got mixed up with Soldier Boy in the first place.”
“I did tell you.”
“What?”
“I didn’t lie about some of the things I said to you the first time we met. Ben and I grew up together. We were friends before all of this.”
“And you what? Followed him?”
“Something like that.”
Butcher sits there for a second tapping his finger on the crystal glass in his hand. Everything in Legend's home was vintage or old, the glasses included. You could remember drinking out of these same glasses years ago, on the porch behind Legend's house the day you realized you were pregnant and you told him you were leaving.
Legend didn't know, but you think deep down he did. Anyone who knew Ben couldn't dismiss how much Rosemary looked like him. Not to mention Legend knew what happened that night between the two of you.
Butcher opens his mouth, but as he does, Ben appears in the kitchen doorway. He still looks a little angry, frown prominent on his face, but his green eyes look from the glass to Butcher to you.
"That's my cue." Butcher grunts. "See you in the morning poppet." He vanishes down the hallway behind Ben leaving the two of you alone in the kitchen. It seems smaller with him standing there in the door, blocking most of it with his broad shoulders and wide stance.
"Are you going to come to bed?" He crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the doorway.
"Are you going to start yelling at me again?" You raise an eyebrow.
"I wasn’t fucking yelling." Ben grumbles. "And even if I was, you weren't exactly whispering."
"Sounded like yelling to me." You frown at him, before looking down at your glass again.
So much for an apology. Then again I probably owe him one too.
Ben’s jaw tightens. “Please come to bed.” His voice is composed, but you can still hear the tinge of his anger  seep through.
"Surprised you said please. Finally using those manners I've heard so much about." You snark before you can stop yourself.
That is not helping anything.
"Come to bed." His teeth are gritted together.
“Why?"
"Because I said so."
"You are not my dad Ben. You can't just order me around."
"Just fucking come to bed!" He snaps straightening from the door, eyes blazing.
"Why is it so important I come to bed Ben? You need me to read you a bedtime story or something? Or is it because you want to have sex? I hate to break it to you, but I don’t really feel like having sex with you right now. And I don't think I will anytime soon if we keep fucking fighting about stupid-“
“Because I can’t sleep without you there damnit! I never have been able to even when we were fucking kids!"
You pause shocked. Ben had never admitted that before. You were still trying to get used to when he admitted that he loved you how open and vulnerable he’d been, but this-
He’s frowning at you waiting for you to say something, but when you don’t. He turns and stalks back towards the stairs to descend into the basement where the bedroom the two of you were sharing was.
Guilt breaks something in your chest, because now sitting out here felt like a punishment for him and you didn't think that was right.
Damn it.
You wash out the mug in the sink  followed by the glass, but you look at the half-full bottle on the table.
Maybe I should bring it with me?
It swings from your hand as you walk down the dimly lit hallway descending into the fully furnished basement. You weren't thrilled with the room, had insisted that Legend change the sheets and spray down the room before you could sleep in there. You knew him, and knew exactly what had happened Legend's house since he had it custom built years ago.
Ben is sitting on the edge of the bed, smoking a blunt that he probably got from Butcher, who seemed to have an endless supply for Ben, much to your annoyance.
"I'm such a fucking pussy. I shouldn't have said that." He mutters more to himself than to you. His gaze is lowered on the shag carpet.
It was the first time that you'd heard him say something like that since he came back to you, something that sounded more like Soldier Boy than the boy you grew up with, sounded more like Ben's father.
"Ben." You sigh, putting the bottle on the bedside table, before you tilt his head back to look at you, hand cupping his chin. "You're not a pussy. I can't sleep without you either and there’s nothing wrong with that.  I don't want you to feel like you can't say stuff like that to me. I love you and I won't judge you for that or think less of you. I will judge you for saying stupid shit like you did earlier."
“I’m sorry.” He sighs out a breath of smoke. “I just hate that she doesn’t like me. I’m her father she should like me-“ He repeats the same idea from earlier.
“She just needs to warm up to you."
“Maybe.” Ben mutters. "Or maybe she won't."
He looks upset. But not his usually angry upset, more disappointed and you decide that’s worse. Ben was so strong and didn’t allow himself to give in to his emotions the same way everyone else did. You hated that about him, but you were the only person who knew why. Ben's father had made him believe that showing emotion made you weak, you were there a few times that he yelled at Ben, heard the horrible things that he shouted at his only son, and it broke your heart. If it was your lot in life to bring him peace, to show him love, and to teach him that it was okay to be vulnerable, you happily would bear that cross.
You gently push back on his shoulder so he’ll move his forearms where they rest on his thighs and so you can sit on his lap. Ben’s arm comes around your waist to hold you to him, while the other continues to rest between you when he takes another drag from the blunt. “Ben, I promise she will.” Your knees rest on either side of his hips as you balance on him, ignoring the urge to wrinkle your nose at the smell.
“Your family never seems to like me.”
“She’s your family too and Lou loves you.” You brush his hair back from his face and he leans forward into your touch. "She's an excellent judge of character. Pretty soon she's gonna be drawing you in the family portraits and once that happens you're in, there's nothing stopping you."
Ben's mouth twitches but he doesn’t smile. "She's cute."
“She is. And if she likes you, you’re doing something right.” You smile at him. “And my family liked you it was just my mom who thought you were the devil. My brother thought that you were okay and my dad liked you plenty. Remember he never ratted you out when you slept in my room?”
“He was a good man. We would talk sometimes.” Ben blows out a lungful of smoke and this time your nose wrinkles at the offensive smell, before you realize what he’s just admitted.
Ben notices your discomfort and flicks the blunt into the ashtray shaped like a naked woman on the bedside table.
“About what?” Your father had never mentioned any conversation with Ben or at least you didn't remember him saying anything about Ben, beside your father's usual questions as to what Ben and you were going to do that day.
“You.” Ben whispers, not meeting your eye.
“When?”
“Sometimes I’d come try to see you when you were out with Howard." Ben sighs his name. "Ended up talking with your dad.”
“Are you serious?”
He nods hands gently stroking along your waist.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you came by?”
“Didn’t think it was important Sweetheart.” Ben pauses eyes flicking up sheepishly to look at you. "I didn't want you to think that I was hanging around waiting for you to get back. I was but-" You can tell that it pains him to say it, like he didn't want to admit he cared, but the thought that he came by to check on you made you happy.
“What did you say about me?”
Ben presses his lips together.
“Ben?”
“He wanted to know how your artwork was coming along, what we had done in the past week. Stuff like that. One time he said he didn’t like Howard either.”
“What?" Your hands tighten on Ben's shoulders in shock.
“He said that he hated the way you looked whenever Howard came around and then he said if he was gonna give his permission for anyone to marry you it was going to be me.” Ben shrugs it off as if he hasn’t said the most shocking thing you’ve ever heard in your life.
Your father would ask you about Ben occasionally and only when your mother left the room. He always seemed pleased when Ben would come pick you up, one time he gave Ben some money so he could buy tickets when you both went to a carnival, but you had no idea that they had talked about Ben marrying you.
“Hold on. Did you-" You pause for a second. "Did you ask my father if you could marry me?”
“No.” Ben answers quickly.
“Well then did he say why he didn't like Howard?"
“He said he liked how happy I made you. Said that you would always be singing in your room after you saw me.” Ben smiles one of his hands curving around your hip to hold you steady on his lap. “I told him I was sorry he had to hear that. You have many talents y/n, but singing is not one of them.”
“I don’t want to hear it from you. There’s about a million tapes of you trying to sing, not to mention you trying to dance. I wanted to jump out the window when you dragged me to that Solid Gold Music Video shoot.“ You roll your eyes at him.
Ben presses a hand to his chest as if offended. “You don’t like the way I dance? Because I happen to remember a few times that we’ve danced together and you certainly seemed to be having a good time.”
“I’m a good actress.”
“Sure.” Ben snorts. “Then again I think I’m good a few other things too. Things that I wouldn’t mind showing you sometime.” His arm wraps around your waist as he pulls you into his chest, lips catching along the shadow of your jaw.
“You’re awfully sure of yourself I’ll say that.”  You laugh.
"Mhmm." The rumble of his answer seems to vibrate down your spine spreading warmth in its wake.
"Ben." You warn, as his hands begin to play with the bottom of your shirt.
"I know." He whispers raising his eyes again to look at your face with a soft smile, but you can still see a flicker of disappointment behind them.
Deep down you knew that you were getting closer to forgiving him, but it had only been two days, and everything between the two of you was still a little rocky. You wanted things to calm down again before you took that big step with Ben again. You didn't want to rush it, and you could see that Ben didn't want to either.
"How about tonight, we do something a little different." You trace your index finger over his lips, loving the soft curve beneath the pad of your fingertip.
"What do you mean?" He looks confused.
"You'll see." You murmur against his lips as you drop your mouth down to his, losing yourself in him all over again.
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A/N: I know it's been a while guys and I know it's crazy to end it on another cliffhanger but... I'm sorry, not sorry? I hope y'all enjoyed this one. I'm sorry it took me a while to get it out, the writer's block is turning into a soul sucking abyss, but honestly, what's new? 😂 Hope that y'all enjoyed this one and I'm excited to hear what y'all think!
As always thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to my taglist for the series let me know:)
(Also if you have asked to be apart of the taglist and you are not being notified- I am trying to fix it, but it's being weird. Please let me know if you haven't received a notification.)
Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303
@deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs
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anundyingfidelity · 5 months ago
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WHAT IF...? — Soldier Boy/Ben (1)
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Summary: Ben, now as your husband, gives up Vought for good and retires along with you far away from the spotlight and the big cities once you're pregnant with your first child. He knows better than to make the same mistakes his father did.
Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x female reader.
Word count: 800.
Warnings: some angst, hurt/comfort, pregnancy, AU where Soldier Boy was never with Crimson Countess, some OOC from Ben? idk he's soft in here.
Notes: this is an AU I had in mind, based on this one shot I did before, but now with Ben and the reader being the good parents Homelander always needed. Is not necessary to read that one but this takes place in 1984, before Soldier Boy goes to Nicaragua. I might update with short drabbles with random scenarios and domestic situations between them, but for now take this. Hope you like it!
GEN MASTERLIST! — DRABBLES MASTERLIST!
taglist is here!
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PART 1
1984
“So, how is it now for America’s son to retire like this?” the journalist asked.
Ben gave him a charming smile, eyes bright like diamonds as the camera flashes took pictures everywhere at the press conference.
“Is what I always wanted,” he beamed.
The time for questions was over, but still you heard through the crowd all the inquiries and thirst for gossip from the journalists in the room. Soldier Boy stood up, posing for the last time with his green suit and shield hanging on his arm.
“Who’s the lucky lady?”
“Do you plan on having kids?”
“Will your kids be supes like you?”
“How many children you want, Soldier Boy?”
“How’d you meet her?”
“Soldier Boy, give us her name!”
You turned off the TV as the conference ended and took in sight of your surroundings. It was your home, finally. The place you’d share with your husband forever. And even though the conference was filmed a couple of weeks ago, Ben agreeing to retirement was still fresh in your mind. Ever since you talked about marriage and settling down a year ago, this was one of your conditions. Being a supe was dangerous, more so with Vought behind, and you wouldn’t expose your future legacy like that. You were lucky enough for Ben to understand that. He wouldn’t want to put the same faith he had with his father to his children.
In silence, you looked up for him, but he was nowhere to be seen. You checked the last room, which happened to be his dispatch; his personal space to show his achievements and his own story as America’s greatest hero. His back faced you, as he seemed to admire for the last time the suit hanging on the wall behind a glass that’d keep it as a trophy for a long time. Leaning against the doorframe, you wondered what was going in his head now that the announcement was public.
“I know you’re there,” he said, looking at you from the corner of his eye. “I can hear your heartbeat.”
You approached him, clinging into his strong arm and watching his handsome, stern face. “I’m so proud of you,” you mumbled softly. Ben turned his eyes to look at you, his face softened as he heard your words. “Thank you.”
His lips curved in a smile and he wrapped his arm on your waist, pulling you closer to his broad figure. “How’s the baby doing?”
“Considering I’m around five months now, I’d say he’s doing amazing,” your smile grew, feeling his warm hand on your baby bump.
“He?”
You shrugged. “You want a boy, right?”
“Yeah, but we haven’t checked that. We agreed to wait until birth…”
There was a hint of hope and confusion in his words.
“I haven’t done an ultrasound behind your back, if that’s concerning you,” you reassured him too quickly, putting yourself in front of him so he could look at you. Your hand rested on his cheek in a delicate manner. “I just have a hunch.”
Ben nodded, leaning into your touch. There was something he wanted to say out loud, to let you know, but he never had the courage to say it. The intrusive thoughts and the traumatic past he was carrying on his back used to torment him enough already. And you knew he was hiding something since you told him you were pregnant. You could see it in his eyes.
“What is it, Ben?”
He sighed at your question. He couldn’t lie to you, could he?
“I’m… scared,” he confessed. “I know I don’t want to be like my father. I don’t wanna disappoint our children.”
“You won’t, I promise. Please don’t torture yourself with things you are not, you’re not your father. And I know you’ll be a great dad,” you pulled him for a soft kiss, to which he responded, his hand cupping your cheek and then wandering to the nape of your neck. “They all will love you,” you whispered once the kiss was over.
Ben arched his brow in a playful manner. “They?”
“I’ll give you as many kids as I can, is that okay?”
He pulled you in for a hug, your head resting on his chest as he kissed your forehead lovingly. There was no other place he wanted to be but here, with you and the future baby growing up in your belly. Ben already pictured you together with a bunch of rugrats running all over the house, scolding them for being so reckless as they played silly games in a sunny afternoon by the pool. It was everything he yearned for. A normal life and becoming a loving father. His heart fluttered with joy, realizing this was the beginning of what he always really desired.
“It's perfect.”
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>>> Next part here!!
Soldier Boy taglist:
@delaynew @k-slla @thesilmarillionblog @onlyangel-444 @mrsjenniferwinchester
@daisy-the-quake @jackles010378 @mostlymarvelgirl @deans-spinster-witch @drasticemotions
@stoneyggirl2 @sapnaploves @believeinthefireflies95
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yelenasdiary · 2 months ago
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Hey, i'm the same one with the idea.
So i was thinking, the Marvel universe.
Wanda had the boys, but they are Vision's kids. Yn is their bestfriend(Wanda and Nat) and played like cupid, you know, they were a couple thanks to her.
So well, I was thinking something about being reincarnated, i don't truly believe in it but in a history i like that type of things.
Wanda was pregnant again, with a baby girl, and in the time Wanda was suppose to gave birth, Yn was in a mission but it went wrong, she got shot and even if they try to "fix" everything, they couldn't and she died.
In the moment, the doctors were trying to do their things, Wanda has the labor contractions and finally gave birth.
So the thing is, the "soul" of Yn went to the baby, or something like that.(I don't know how to say those things, i try my best to write in english hahaha)
And Wanda and Nat found about it and named the baby after Yn.
While the little Yn was growing up, they saw how many things she did in the same way as Yn, and of course they talked about her with the little one.
And basically, you can change everything you want and need to write the story, if you want to write it, of course. Thank you. Have a good day, or night.
Watching Over You
Pairing: WandaNat x Fem! Avenger! Reader (Platonic), Mentions of Wanda x Vision. 
Summary: Somethings in this world are unexplainable but what if that one thing helped bring two people together to start a new life
Angst, Comfort
Warnings: Character Death, Mentions of guns, and Child Birth | 1.5K
Translations: Detka (baby),
AC: I love this idea, it’s something different! I hope you enjoy this, I do apologise if this isn’t as exciting as you hoped. Thank you for sending it! x 
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The blue sky started to look dim, your body turning cold as Clint and Steve rushed you to the quinjet. Steve carrying you bridal style while Clint cleared the path, the soldier laid you down on one of the uncomfortable beds and strapped you down tightly. “It’ll be okay! We’ll get you home” you heard Steve’s faint voice before things went black. Clint wasting no time starting up the jet to rush you home to medical. 
Meanwhile, your best friends were preparing for the next chapter in their lives. You could say you were cupid in Wanda and Natasha’s love story. After Wanda and Vision got divorced, Wanda struggled to get out of the loveless slump she was in. You did everything you could think of to help her get over Vision, but it was hard when her two eldest children were fathered by him. But with some time and patience, Wanda opened herself up to dating again. Did she expect her next marriage to be with a woman? No, but she was so thankful that you helped her see just how much Natasha loved and cared for the mother of two. 
It wasn’t exactly easy for Nat either. Her feelings for Wanda started well before the brunette got divorced and watching Wanda have a little family with somebody else pushed Natasha’s hopes for a family of her own further and further to the back of her mind. But now? Now Natasha and Wanda were hours away from welcoming their first child together. 
Without you and setting up a cheeky few blind dates and listening for hours on end to your friends feelings for one another, you weren’t sure what the two would be doing now. But it’s been 2 years since they got married and a lot of happy tears on the way. 
“Something isn’t right!” Wanda said in a panic, “Nat, something isn’t right, I can feel it!” She added, rubbing her hand over her swollen stomach. Wanda’s water broke a couple of hours ago, but she wasn’t dilated enough to be taken to the delivery room. Natasha comforted her wife by taking her hand, “have some ice chips detka, everything is okay, I promise” she replied before offering Wanda a cup of ice chips. Wanda saw that Natasha didn’t quite understand her wife’s worries, she slowly shook her head, “it’s not the baby, something just doesn’t feel right” Wanda said, her eyes building with tears. 
“Do you want me to get a nurse?” Natasha asked. Wanda shook her head, “please don’t leave me” Wanda replied, looking up at Natasha. Although Wanda’s current state of mind was confusing Nat a little, she sat down beside Wanda’s bed and quickly changed the topic to keep her wife distracted. 
“So, do you think is going to get jealous first? Tommy or Billy?” She joked, causing Wanda to playful slap her hand away from her. 
----
What seemed like forever had passed, Wanda was only seconds away from giving birth. Natasha by her side holding her hand has her wife almost broke her knuckles in pain and while the delivery room was full of excitement and happiness, another room was full of the exact opposite. 
Tony, Steve, Clint, Maria, Thor, Bucky and Pepper sat around the large table in one of the many conference rooms. Nothing but silence was shared, tissues in the center of the table that mainly Maria and Pepper reached for, the guys looking at one another, all wondering how to process the news. 
“We have to tell them” Steve broke the silence. 
“Last update I had was Wanda was taken into the delivery room. Nat said she’d keep me posted but I don’t think we tell them yet” Clint replied. 
“We can’t not tell them; they’re going to know. Especially Wanda” Maria chipped in, whipping her tears on a tissue. 
“How about we just deal with it when need too, right now, we should probably go to the hospital and be there for them” Pepper suggested, “nothing we do is going to change anything” she added. Tony nodded in agreement, “if anything, we tell Nat first. We shouldn’t tell Wanda right now” he inserted. 
The small team came to an agreement, it wasn’t easy, and they wished things were different, that they would have better news but the best thing they could all do right now was to be there for each other. 
Steve knocked softly on Wanda’s door in the hospital before slowly opening it, everybody had a soft smile on their faces and even through the news they had to keep to themselves for now, the excitement of meeting a new little family member helped make things feel a little better. 
“Hey guys!” Wanda smiled softly at her extended family. Natasha was gently rocking their new-born daughter in her arms as the others entered the room. Clint stepped close to Natasha, looking down at his friend’s little baby. “She’s beautiful” he whispered softly.  
“Do you want to hold her?” Nat offered with a sense of proudness in her voice, Clint nodded, “I’d love too” he added. 
“Hey, where’s Y/n?” Wanda asked, looking at everybody. Thor’s eyes dropped immediately to his feet which only made Wanda tilt her head slightly to the side, “Nat, uh, there’s something I need to run by you, do you mind if we step outside for a moment?” Steve quickly said before Wanda could question anything. Wanda watched as Steve and Natasha left the room, the others quickly turning the attention back to the baby in Clint’s arms. 
“Does she have a name yet?” Maria asked. 
“We have a couple of ideas, but nothing seems to feel right at the moment” Wanda said, smiling tiredly at her. 
“Steve, what is it?” Natasha asked, a sparkle in her eye that Steve hated to break. “We thought it would be best to tell you first” he started. 
“Tell me what?” Natasha frowned slightly, trying to read Steve for an answer. 
“Y/n is gone. There was a situation on the mission, and she was shot, she never made it off the table Nat” 
Natasha was in disbelief as she cocked a brow at her friend, “you know this is a really shitty time to play a joke like that. She’s never miss this” 
Steve stood in silence, allowing the news to sink in until it did, and Natasha’s eyes filled with tears. “When did Helen call time of death?” Natasha asked. “6:42pm” Steve answered, unaware that the little fact would cause Nat to break completely. He caught her in his arms, comforting her until she was able to gather herself once more. “I t-think you guys should go” she looked up at him, “I need to tell Wanda” 
“I understand” Steve replied before the two of them entered the room once again. “Alright guys, I know it’s exciting, but I think we should let Wanda get some rest and our little darling will need a feed soon” Natasha announced, any excuse to kindly ask them to leave. They understood the moment they looked at Steve, they all gave Wanda a hug before the room was just the three of them. 
----
It took a few long days for Wanda to process the news, every time she looked at her new baby, all she felt was happiness but in the short moments she was able to look into her daughter’s eyes, all she saw was you and that was the thing that troubled her a little. Not everybody believed in reincarnation, Wanda wasn’t sure she believed in it much herself but when it came to finalizing the birth certificate, it was time to give the new-born a name. 
“That can’t be right” Wanda frowned, the blue ballpoint pen hovering over the birth certificate. 
“What’s not right detka?” Natasha asked, placing her hand on Wanda’s knee under the dining room table. “Pumpkin’s time of birth, it has to be a mistake” she replied. Pumpkin being the nickname they gave their daughter until they were able to settle on a final name. 
“I was hoping that you wouldn’t notice that” Nat replied, watching as Wanda’s eyes filled with tears. She dropped the pen from her hold and ran her fingers through her hair, “our best friend died the exact same time our daughter was born” she looked to Nat, “call me crazy but this can’t be a coincidence. Every time I look into Pumpkin’s eyes, all I see is Y/n. Even her cheeky little smile makes me feel like Y/n is here” Wanda went on. 
Natasha didn’t think her wife was crazy, not for a second. “Me too” the red head admitted, bringing her hand to cup Wanda’s cheek, wiping her tears. “I know we’re stuck on a name but I can’t help but want to name her after Y/n” she added. Wanda smiled softly through her tears, “I wanted to suggest that. I would love to name her after Y/n, I think it’s a great idea” 
As time went on, little Y/n grew up knowing more and more about the Avenger she was named after, she leant about how you helped her mother’s get together, she learnt all about your favorite hobbies, likes and dislikes. There was plenty of little things that mini-Romanoff did that made everybody around her think of you, from her cheeky smile to her stubbornness and even her mischief behavior when playing with her brothers, she might be half Wanda and half Natasha but she was in many ways, a part of you.
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nymphie66 · 1 year ago
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God Bless America pt 2
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Part One
Part Three
Author's notes: due to the slightest positive reaction I'm back on my bullshit again, you're welcome??
Soldier boy x f!Supe reader
Warnings: Mentions of cheating, mentions of sex, minors dni - for your own sake, pregnant women get horny too sometimes, dark fic, ben trying to assert dominance - too bad he's a bit of a simp for reader, mentions of a wedding, haven't ramped up to full smut yet but there's always time for that ;)
Find part one here xoxoxo
"Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married.." Ben sang quietly between sips of his beer - he had recently learned that smoking, was not in fact good for your health, let alone the baby's. He carried on cooking, ignoring your struggle against your restraints. The power-subduing cuffs still gracing your wrists, the gag pulled tight against your mouth. You were tied to the kitchen chair, a plate of chicken, potatoes and veg in front of you - whether you wanted it or not, you were going to eat it. It was good for you and the baby after all. Ben sat opposite you with his own plate of bacon, sausage and egg - an American meal for an American man. He looked at you with such content, such joy, he had you, right where he wanted you, all you had to do was comply. "So, baby, you gonna behave or what?"
You stilled, and nodded your head, you didn't need to be honest just no longer gagged and bound. Ben smiled and walked over, removing the gag and untying the rope that bound your arms to the chair. Although still cuffed you could now move your hands to pick up a knife and fork and eat - if you wanted to.
You quickly swallowed the excess saliva that had formed because of the gag and tried not to glare at him. Instead, you just bowed your head looking down at the plate of food. It was bland, the chicken unseasoned and the potatoes looked pale and meek, the vegetables practically soggy over how overcooked they were. Ben never was a good cook.
"Eat up, my son has to get his protein somehow." Ben told you as he took his seat opposite you.
"What about your daughter?" You posed, slowly taking a fork and pushing the mushy carrot around your plate in masked disgust. You knew of Ben's less-than-modern views, but you weren't afraid of them. In fact, you revelled in proving him wrong, in putting him in his place, it often led to more than favourable situations, situations that got you in the predicament that you were in right now.
"She'll need her protein too, to keep up with her old man of course," Ben responded with a smile, and you were at least somewhat comforted by the fact he didn't just ridicule the thought of having a daughter. "Though if she's anything like her mother, she'll be enough to keep me on my toes."
You couldn't help but laugh, an empty one, but a laugh nonetheless. It seemed to encourage him, that you were happy right now, happy to make conversation with him. When in reality you were just waiting, waiting for an opportunity to break free of the cuffs and give him hell.
"You're going to look so pretty in a wedding dress. Fucking divine." Ben commented before taking another sip of his beer, his eyes hungrily darting across your form. You averted your eyes, your heart beating faster under his watch. You were well aware that without your powers, Ben could very much just take what he wanted, and what he wanted right now was evident.
"You are going to have to practice your vows y'know, practice being committed to me till death do us part. No more hotel flings, honey." You told him sourly, and you could see him recoil. You took satisfaction in that and happily stabbed a piece of chicken before putting it in your mouth and chewed laboriously, it wasn't just the vegetables he overcooked.
"Hey, I told you I'm sorry for that, okay? It's never going to happen again, this, this changes things." Ben tried to assure you, pointing his fork at you accusingly, as if it was your fault for taking issue for such a matter.
"Oh so our baby is enough, but I wasn't? I get it Ben." You retorted, finally being able to swallow the driest piece of chicken you have ever had in your life. Ben slammed his hand down onto the table and you would have flinched, if you weren't so used to his dramatics.
"What is it going to take for you to believe me? Huh? I'm marrying you for god's sake-"
"-not by choice, can I add. Don't pretend that your decision to marry me is nothing but you trying to absolve yourself of your guilt or Vought's efforts in damage control." You practically spat, throwing your fork down, for the baby or not, you couldn't put yourself through another mouthful of that godforsaken chicken.
Ben violently stood up from the table and leaned across to you, taking issue with the smile that blossomed across your lips from his agitation. He grabbed your face with his hand and he forced you to look at him. "I am marrying you because I love you. And you love me. And my baby will be loved."
You took particular exception with his declaration that the baby was his, considering you were the one throwing up every morning, and it was messing with your hormones. You used your bound hands to lunge at his throat, and he quickly forced them back down with a brutish strength. To his detriment of course, as from the force of his actions, the cuffs broke against the table. No longer intact and no longer efficient in subduing your powers.
Ben seemed to realise his mistake and quickly retreated backwards, his hands flown up in a surrendering motion. You gasped as your powers returned to you, coursing through you in a form of ecstasy that rivalled anything else. Your eyes glowed in a surge of pure power and you turned to Ben with nothing less than an evil smile. Your powers matched his on a good day, but with this sudden resurgence and hormonal rage, he was putty in your hands - and he knew it.
"Ben, honey, how much did you say you loved me again?" You drawled, running a hand through your hair as you stalked towards him. All caution thrown to the wind, you were on an unparalleled high from days of withdrawal from your powers. Ben stalled and steadied himself against the kitchen counter. "And our baby of course."
"Tonnes, doll, tonnes. Only one for me." Ben quickly tried to assure you, he knew that considering his recent actions, woman or not, you were going to beat his ass, but you just laughed. Usually, he would mock those pussy-ass men who cowered in front of their woman, their bitch. But with the look in your eye, it was just pure survival at this point.
"Those are just words, Ben! Words!" You shouted at him, a hand remaining possessively on your stomach as you continued to walk towards him. "I need more than words Ben, we need more than words. Especially if we're going to get married."
Ben seemed to relax slightly at your concession of a wedding, but he did not at all fall for the bait of a false sense of security. "What do you want?"
"I want them dead. All of them." You responded starkly, your body close to his. Blame the hormones, blame the power rush, but you knew what you wanted. Your mouth then hovered over his ear. "Every bitch that you've bedded, every fling that's screamed your name, I want their head on a goddamn stick, their hearts in a fucking chocolate box. Call it an engagement present."
Ben swallowed thickly and nodded his head, it would be a long list but he was willing to do it, if it meant getting you back, if it meant getting the family he always wanted. You pulled back and looked deeply into his eyes, your head tilting in morbid contentment. Your eyes flickered down to his lips, and you pressed a harsh kiss against his lips. Your arms looping around his neck, your hand tangling in his hair.
Ben seemingly determined to regain some sort of control over the situation, swiped his tongue over your bottom lip before biting it when you didn't grant him access to your mouth. You gasped and allowed it, tugging on his hair violently in acknowledgement of his action. The two of you then engaged in a battle of dominance, that resulted in you getting put on the kitchen counter, thighs spread apart as you felt his hardening cock press against your core. But if Ben thought that he was getting his way, he was wrong.
With a determined shove to his chest, Ben stumbled backwards and looked at you with betrayed eyes. You wiped his saliva from your lip with your thumb and hopped off the counter. Striding towards him before putting a hand on his shoulder and the other grabbing his jaw.
"Sort out the affairs, and until then be grateful that I'm even touching you right now." With that, you released your grip, slapped his cheek lightly and walked off.
"Fucking woman." Ben huffed flipping the table in a fit of anger as he followed your leaving form. The food spilling across the room. You were right, you were always right, and it pissed him off. But that's why he loved you, he supposed, you never gave in to his bullshit beliefs and challenged him at every turn. Which is exactly why he wanted to bend you over, and the fuck the life out of you until all you could say was his name. But that wasn't going to happen until he sorted out those women. Seems like he had some work to get to.
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lila-lou · 7 months ago
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So,
I started a new show a few weeks ago and was just going through Tumblr.
Fuck, I've realized that not every fandom is this level of dirty and kinky.
The question is, is this one on Jensen or us? 🤣
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sergeantbarnessdoll · 4 months ago
Note
Hear me out: Bucky finding out that y/n is pregnant (again, after their first kid) with twins/triplets. After he calms down about it (for the time being), he starts calling her matryoshka (like the Russian nesting dolls)
More Than One » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier
Pairings: Husband/Dad!Bucky Barnes x Wife/Mom/Pregnant!Reader with son James Jr
Summary: You and Bucky find out you’re pregnant with more than one baby which makes Bucky a little more nervous.
Warnings: Fluff, language, kissing, nicknames/pet names
A/N: Thank you to the lovely anonymous person who requested this🩵
Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.
Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier
GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators. I found it on Pinterest.
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“Are you excited?” You asked Bucky.
“Of course I am.” Bucky smiles, putting his hand in yours and intertwined his fingers with yours. “I’m more than excited to have another baby with the love of my life.” He says.
You smile widely and lean over to kiss his lips sweetly. The kiss is short lived when the nurse called your name. You and Bucky stood up from the chairs and walked hand and hand to the exam room.
“Is this your first pregnancy?” The OB doctor asks, trying to make conversation.
“No.” You answered. “We have a son who’s almost 2 years old.” You tell her.
The doctor smiles at you and Bucky as before she started the ultrasound.
“Let’s hear your baby’s heartbeat.” She says with a smile.
Bucky held your hand while the doctor did the ultrasound. A smile grew on your faces when you two heard the heartbeat for the first time.
“There’s our baby.” You tell Bucky.
Bucky couldn’t help but smile and kiss you.
“This is interesting.” The doctor starts. “There’s more than one heartbeat.” She informs you and Bucky.
“More than one? Meaning twins?” You asked.
“More than one as in 3 babies.” She tells you guys. “Congratulations! You’re having triplets.” She says.
“Triplets? That means 3, right?” Bucky asks, making sure he heard her right.
“Yes.” She confirms, handing you the ultrasound pictures.
Bucky’s mind was blown. He didn’t know what to think. His mind is running a million miles an hour. What he did know is that he’s beyond happy and he’s never been this nervous in his life.
“Are you ok, babe?” You asked as the two of you got in the car.
“Y-Yea.” Bucky answers without noticing his nervous stutter.
You smile and leaned over to kiss his stubbly cheek and made the drive to the Avengers Compound to pick up yours and Bucky’s 2 year old son James Jr. when you two got to the compound, you two were greeted by your son running up to you guys and Bucky picked him up. He was followed by Steve.
“How was the doctor?” Steve asks.
“Great!” You answered. “Bucky and I found out that we’re having triplets.” You tell him.
“That’s amazing! I’m happy for you guys.” He says, giving you two a hug.
Bucky said a quiet thank you. He was weirdly quiet for the rest of the day, but you didn’t question it. He was just trying to process the fact that you two are having triplets. While he was trying to process it, he decided to play with his son to help ease his nerves. At the moment Bucky and James Jr are sitting on the bedroom floor in James Jr’s room playing with blocks.
“Do you like the idea of being a big brother?” Bucky asks his son.
“Me big brother.” James Jr confirms.
“That’s right, bud. You are.” He smiles. “Do you want a little brother or little sister?” He asks.
“Brother.” He simply answers.
“You want mama to have a boy?” He asks.
James Jr nodded with a huge smile on his face. What Bucky didn’t know was that you were standing in the doorway of James Jr’s room, listening to their conversation with a smile on your face. You gave them a couple more minutes of guy time before entering the room and sat down on the rocking chair in the corner of his bedroom.
“You two sound like you’re having a nice conversation.” You say to them.
James Jr nodded and continued to play with his blocks.
“Did daddy tell you the good news?” You asked James Jr.
“Mama has a baby.” James Jr said.
“Yes I am, but there’s more than one baby in mama’s belly.” You tell him.
“More?” He asks, giving you his undivided attention.
“Yes, mama is having more than one baby. I’m having triplets.” You tell him with a smile on your face.
“Triplets?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion at the new word.
“That means there’s 3 babies in mama’s belly.” You explained.
James Jr stared at you like you just said the most interesting thing in the world. He stood up from the floor and waddled over to you.
“Babies.” James Jr says, poking your baby bump.
You and Bucky smile at his cuteness. You leaned over and kissed the top of his head. You glanced at Bucky and noticed something was off, which concerned you. You pushed it to the back of your mind and reminded yourself to ask Bucky about it later.
“Let’s get you ready for bed, soldier.” You say.
“I’ll do it.” Bucky speaks up.
You said a silent ok and allowed Bucky to do his fatherly duties of getting his son ready for bed. While Bucky was tucking James Jr in bed, he felt himself more calm down compared to how he felt earlier today, but he will admit that he’s still nervous about having triplets. Bucky said goodnight to his son and gave him a kiss on the top of his head before leaving his bedroom to go to yours and his shared bedroom and went to bed with his arms wrapped around you protectively.
The next morning, Bucky still seemed off to you. You didn’t want to overwhelm him with questions, but you also want to know what’s going through his head.
“Bucky?” You say softly.
“Yes, doll?” Bucky asks.
“Are you ok?” You asked. “You’ve been quiet most of yesterday after our doctors appointment.” You say.
“I- I’m just a little nervous is all.” He admits. “I thought we were just going to have 1 baby, but it turns out that we’re having 3 babies, which I’m thrilled about.” He says.
“To be honest…” You start. “I’m a little nervous too.” You tell him.
Bucky’s facial expressions softened when you told him that you’re nervous too.
“It’s ok to be nervous, matryoshka.” He cups your cheek. “I’m sure it’ll pass soon.” He says.
You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion when Bucky called you matryoshka.
“Matryoshka?” You asked curiously.
“It’s Russian.” He puts his right hand on your baby bump. “You are carrying my babies after all.” He says.
“Oh ok. That makes more sense.” You say.
“Get used to it. I’m going to be calling you that throughout your pregnancy.” He says.
Bucky leaned in and kisses you sweetly. The kiss was short lived when James Jr woke up from his nap and called for Bucky from his bedroom.
“I’ll get him.” Bucky says.
Bucky stood up from the couch and went to James Jr’s room to see him sitting upright on his bed.
“Is my little man awake?” He coos as he picked him up.
James Jr giggles loudly as Bucky gave him soft kisses. Bucky smiles at the sound of his son’s giggles. He walked to the living room where you are and sat down next to you.
“There’s my baby boy.” You cooed.
James Jr happily crawled onto your lap and hugged you.
“Babies.” James Jr curiously said, pointing at your baby bump.
“That’s right.” You smile. “There’s babies in mama’s belly.” You say.
Bucky put his arm around your shoulder and moved closer to you. James Jr quickly got interested in his daddy’s vibranium arm and moved over to his lap to play with it.
“How are you feeling, matryoshka?” Bucky asks.
“Hungry.” You answered. “I have to feed 4 people now.” You say.
“I’ll get you something to eat from your favorite restaurant.” Bucky says.
He stood up and gently placed James Jr on the couch next to you.
“Keep an eye on mama for me, soldier.” He says.
“Me watch mama.” James Jr confirms, making you and Bucky smile.
Bucky gave you two kisses before leaving to get you guys something to eat. You put cartoons on the TV to entertain him. He quickly got occupied with the toys he has in a container next to the TV. He grabbed a few and got back on the couch next to you. He handed you one of his toys, wanting you to play with him. You maneuvered yourself so you can face your son.
“Are you going to play with your little brothers or sisters when they’re born?” You asked him.
James Jr nodded his head yes with a smile on his face. He then put a stuffed animal on your lap in front of your baby bump.
“Play.” James Jr says, referring to his triplet siblings in your belly.
“That can’t play yet, sweetie. They have to be born first and they’re not ready to play just yet.” You tell him.
James Jr sat there with a pout on his face.
“Mama and daddy will play with you until then.” You say.
You and James Jr played until Bucky got home with the food. He put the food on the kitchen counter and went to the living room to see his two favorite people playing and watching cartoons.
“What’re you two playing?” Bucky asks, taking a seat behind you.
“Superheroes.” James Jr answers. “Like daddy.” He says.
Bucky smiles widely when his son basically called him a superhero.
“I hate to interrupt playtime, but it’s time to eat, buddy.” You say to him.
James Jr listened and put his toys down and patiently waited for you or Bucky to get him his food. Bucky stood up and helped you stand up.
“I love you, matryoshka.” Bucky says, pecking your lips.
“I love you too, Buck.” You say, kissing him back.
“I wuv mama and daddy!” James Jr chimes in, making you two smile at his cuteness.
“We love you too, little soldier.” You and Bucky say in unison and gave him kisses.
🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖🪖
-Bucky’s Doll
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tarrynightss · 2 years ago
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How they are during your pregnancy + how they are with the baby
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Pairings: Jake, Quaritch, Tonowari, Tsu’tey x fem!reader
Warnings: Pregnancy, childbirth (nothing graphic), fluff
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Jake Sully
With Jake the pregnancy would definitely be a planned thing. He does his best to prepare himself, talking to Norm and anyone else he can find that has a good pair of brains. He wants to know exactly what to do in every situation that might occur, even reading up on it. It’s cute and you are glad that he’s doing his best to protect both you and the baby, but after you are a few months in, you almost want to rip his head off when he asks “Does your back ache? What is your pain level on a scale of 1 to 10?” yet again.
He’s constantly fussing over you, especially when you are getting close to your due date. The regular checkups from the human scientists have your Tsahík fuming, but Jake wants to make sure all ground is covered. He’ll take all the death stares if that means you and the baby are healthy.
Jake almost starts running circles like he’s in looney tunes when the birth starts. Another Na’vi has to force him to sit down by your side, and even then his tail is constantly swatting all over the place in anxiousness.
The type to say “god damn!” when he watches the baby being pushed out, making you almost snap his hand in two.
He won’t be able to take his eye off of his child when it’s born, hugging both you and them to his chest. He’ll kiss your sweaty forehead, crying as he tells you how well you did and that he’s so proud of you.
Sorry but when the baby is a few weeks old he definitely pretends to drop it because he thinks it’s funny, earning angry hisses and swats from you.
Will constantly cuddle with the baby when you aren’t holding them, rubbing his nose against their little belly. He’ll also love squishing their cheeks together and playing with their tiny ears, having them make funny faces at you.
Gags at least once when changing a diaper but doesn’t complain, just soldiers through.
Miles Quaritch
Who gave this man another kid?!? You did, and when Miles finds out he almost drops dead. He had just kinda assumed that they had snipped his ability to reproduce away just as they had snipped his ears. Boy was he wrong.
When your stomach starts growing and your urge him to touch it, he does so with much reluctance as he’s scared he might hurt the child. The tiniest hint of movement under his hand makes his ears perk up, and he’ll bend down to lay one against your belly. Na’vi hearing is incredibly good and he hears the thrumming heartbeat of your child instantly. “Our baby,” you whisper and caress over his hair. He repeats it back to you, accepting it a little bit more.
Miles continues telling Spider that you’ve just gotten fat until finally the boy has had enough, clearly seeing that you are pregnant. He gives his dad an earful about how he couldn’t even take care of him, so why the fuck is he having another. A valid point, but Miles tries to tell both himself and Spider that that was human Quaritch, not him. The boy accepts it just because you’ve always been a motherly figure to him, but he shoots Miles glares whenever he comes near.
He does his best to take care of you but this man is not exactly used to being gentle. He’ll cuddle you and rub over your stomach and back, trying to suite your aches. Where he fumbles is when you’ve been up almost all night, puking your insides out, and he dares to complain about his sore back. SORE BACK?!! He’s sleeping on the ground after that.
Strangely enough, as the months progress the pregnancy seems to be what forms you, Spider, and Miles into a true family. Both enjoy putting their hand on your stomach and feeling the baby kick, Spider letting out an excited “wooow!” at the force every time.
Miles starts sharing with Spider the few memories old Quaritch had of him as a baby. “Your head was gigantic,” Miles tell him, staring up into the sky with a grin. Spider laughs out a no, peeking over you to see his father. You lay like this often now, side by side as a family. “Humongous,” Miles doubles down, making you all cackle.
Miles is scared when you give birth, his eyes tightly closed as he holds onto your hand. He knows he doesn’t deserve to have this after all he has done, but lord, please let you and the baby be alright. He holds his breath till finally, he hears the baby’s first cry, his eyes snapping open. Both of you cry as you cradle your child close to your heart.
Suddenly becomes an expert on how to handle babies, constantly telling Spider to be careful with this or that, barely even letting him hold the baby the first few days.
Takes pictures of your child with a leaf hat on or something and finds it absolutely hilarious.
Carries the child everywhere, strapping them to his chest like a real male wife.
Tonowari
The first child born from your union is nothing short of a blessing to him. Even when your stomach is barely noticeable, he constantly touches it and it becomes a comforting feeling for the both of you.
Parades you around in front of the clan like you are the rarest jewel. He’s so, so proud of his beautiful mate, so happy that she’s carrying his child. He wants the whole world to see.
Tonowari constantly gives you massages, not even giving your feet or back the chance to start aching. He was already big on doing so before, but now you aren’t leaving the tent before the morning massages are done.
He’s so supportive and there for you that he goes as far as to hold your hair while you puke. You can scream your hormones out at him all you want and this man will just smile to himself, noting how ferocious you look like this.
Tonowari basically is the midwife during your birth, holding onto your arms as he helps you pace your breathing. When you push he puts his forehead against yours to comfort and support you.
Holds the baby up for the others to see after they’re born, the biggest smile on his face. He won’t stop bragging about his child to anyone who will listen. Every bump or blink is worth a reward in his eyes.
Takes the baby to watch over the ocean, telling them stories about all his adventures. When the baby eventually starts being able to point, he’s absolutely delighted, following to see what their chubby finger is pointing it. Whether it’s a simple barnacle or a fish, Tonowari will tell his child in great detail about whatever peaked their interest.
Tsu’tey
Finally. He has waited so long to have his own family and he’s absolutely overjoyed when he hears the news. He’ll pick you up and spin you around while laughing and cheering, making everyone around you wonder what is going on.
Tsu’tey was always protective of you, but with the pregnancy that gets 10 times worse. He’s constantly hovering over you, never letting you go out alone in the fear you’ll get hurt. You try to assure him you’ll be careful, but that’s not good enough. Too much can happen in a blink of an eye. He simply won’t allow it.
Instantly starts collecting beads for both the baby’s songcord and for their first neck piece, though the second will still have to wait a long time to be worn. He’s just too excited, already fantasizing about all he will teach his child, all the memories they will make.
He talks to the baby every night when the two of you are alone. Tsu’tey lays his head against your belly and tells your child all about his day, but also stories about what he and you have gotten up to in the past. It’s heartwarming to you to just lay back and watch him, chuckling now and then at his words.
Tsu’tey doesn’t just hold your hand during birth, he sits behind you, holding in his lap. He breaths with you as if one, stroking lovingly over your arms and legs as he encourages you to keep going.
Love is a word not strong enough to express what he feels for your child. As soon as their eyes meet, he smiles the brightest he has ever done in his life. The baby is perfect in his eyes, a beautiful mix of the both of you.
He loves sleeping with the baby cuddled up against his chest. At first he was too scared he might crush them, but after you swore you would watch him during those little moment, he gave in. It were the best naps he’s ever had, his heart beating as one with his child. Tsu’tey hadn’t thought he would ever feel this at peace.
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yawnderu · 1 year ago
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Simon ''Ghost'' Riley - Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Prompt List
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Sex Pollen - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader:
After being hit by the experimental drug, Ghost can't get enough of your body.
You make it hard to be a Ghost - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader:
You write him poetry; Ghost rejects it every single time with a heavy heart until his walls start to crumble down.
Longing - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader:
The simple ways Ghost shows you how much he cares with his actions while you both yearn for each other's love.
Together - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader:
Ghost finds strength with your love in a near-death experience together.
Cold - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader - PART I
You come back to base a changed and scarred soldier after being held captive for a year, Ghost is desperate to help bring you back to be the woman he loved.
I'll meet you here — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader
Simon finds peace for the first time after retirement.
Character Study - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley
In-depth character analysis on Simon ''Ghost'' Riley based on the comic, campaigns, and voice lines from multi-player.
Idyllic - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader - Part I
content: fluff, mutual pining, idiots in love, your honor, they love each other.
Tainted - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader
Ghost became judge, jury and executioner.
CW: paranoia, gore, anxiety?
Salvatore - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader
You join Simon for a late-night smoke, bad dad jokes ensue.
Lovely — Dad!Simon "Ghost" Riley x Mom!Reader
No one knows how much violence it took to be this gentle.
Afraid - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader
content: angst with a happy ending, mentions of death and injuries, hurt/comfort.
Monster | Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader
Based on the violent sexual fantasies Simon ''Ghost'' Riley experiences after being tortured by Roba.
CW: noncon, darkfic, mind break, forced deepthroat, forced penetration, face slapping, tit slapping, rough sex, give in.
Perfect Life — Dad!Simon "Ghost" Riley x Mom!Reader
The first night home with the baby.
Adoration — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader
Content: fluff, pregnant!reader, horrible dad jokes.
Living Dead Man - Zombie!Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader
What is a husband but a man with a rotting body you can barely recognize?
CW: body horror, gore, tongue kiss with a dead man(?), is she wrong? morally, angst with a happy ending.
Beacon — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader
Cozy day in the life of a soldier and his pregnant wife.
Birthday Boy — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader
content: mutual pining, idiots in love, fluff.
Mine - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader
Synopsis: knowing he couldn't provide you with the life you wanted, Simon breaks things off with you. Two years later, you come back to base with a baby that isn't his.
Content: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, mutual pining, established relationships, breeding, erotic lactation, romantic love making, praising. No beta we die like Roach.
Lorelei — Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader | Part I Part II | Part III
Synopsis: Aware of the way his lifestyle doesn't align with your dream life and unwilling to quit his life as a soldier, Simon breaks things off with you. It isn't until a year later that he sees you again, a tiny carbon copy of him held in your arms.
Believer - Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader
In which Simon believes he's truly undeserving of love, moved only by your stubbornness.
K-9 — Simon ''Ghost'' Riley x Reader | Chapter I
Simon Riley and his pathetic efforts to get close to the new medic will earn him a scar or two
or
Simon Riley is in love with an uninterested, tired medic.
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