#so I need this to happen
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Okay update on the therapy situation. I emailed my psychiatrist at Kaiser like the therapist recommended and he responded super fast and said he’d already sent a referral which is awesome. However, I got the follow up info today and apparently the referral is for an online therapy thing called Path Mental Health. It’s basically an online portal where you can search for a therapist which is fine but unfortunately it’s only for in network therapists and so the therapist I want isn’t on it. I do plan to give it a decent try and look through the therapists on there but a cursory look told me there are very few or none that specialize in autism and lgbtq issues which are two of the main things I want. Also the therapist I found is overall a much better match than anyone I’ve seen on Path so far. I might be willing to try someone else but it is only online sessions, no in person and I’ve done therapy on zoom before and I hated it. I don’t feel as much of a connection with the therapist and I find it really distracting to be able to see myself on camera.
So basically I’m starting to formulate how I’m going to push back. Like I said I will give it a serious try over the weekend when I’ve hopefully calmed down (I almost had a meltdown when I got the email and saw everything). But I know there is a good chance I won’t find anyone (after literal months of searching different therapy sites I found my list of maybe 4 therapists I was interested in contacting so chances are slim) so I need to figure out my arguments for why they should cover the specific therapist I found instead of any of the ones on that site. I know this is a thing they do because at my consultation, the therapist said one of his other patients was able to get them to cover it, you just have to fight. So far here’s what I have:
They only offer online services which I’ve tried before and found it difficult to really connect with a therapist. Also I don’t have the best internet connection and I live with a roommate so I am not guaranteed to have a private place to have my sessions (the last part is not entirely true bc I have my own room but I do have to be careful how loud I talk bc she can hear me and also past experiences have taught me that people are very afraid of confidentiality laws).
I cannot find someone who specializes in autism, anxiety, trauma, lgbtq+ issues, and family issues who matches my availability (it sucks a little bit because I have not talked to the psychiatrist or anyone at Kaiser about autism and I’m really not looking forward to it but needing specialized care is one of the strongest arguments I have).
Also if they push back would it be a bad idea to 1. Say I’ve already had a consultation with this therapist and 2. Say that he told me he has another patient that got Kaiser to cover therapy with him (in the case that they say they can’t cover it/there’s nothing they can do bc I know that’s bullshit)? Or would that make things worse?
Any suggestions or tips are appreciated! I really need this to work!
#if I can get them to cover this I will be able to get an autism diagnosis and ongoing therapy for free#so I need this to happen#I’m a bit concerned that if I tell the psychiatrist I think I have autism he’ll say I need to get a diagnosis through Kaiser first#which isn’t the end of the world as long as it’s covered and I think it will be#but I’d rather my therapist do it#he’s a psychiatrist who does therapy btw so he is qualified to diagnose me#it’s so fucked up that this is what you have to go through to get specialized care#like let’s make the most mentally ill people do the most work#I want to burn the entire health system to the ground#autism#mental health#actually autistic#neurodivergent#therapy#autistic#autism diagnosis
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the mutual aid los angeles network (malan) has put together a spreadsheet with valuable resources for people affected by the ongoing los angeles wildfires and wind storm. the sheet is constantly being updated with resources such as shelter info, animal boarding info, addresses for distribution centers, volunteer opportunities and so much more.
please share this spreadsheet widely
#los angeles#palisades fire#eaton fire#hurst fire#lidia fire#new fire just erupted in the Hollywood hills#my d*ds job burned down this morning my moms job is so close to one of the fires#i need to get back home#i see some ppl in the tags saying 'this happens every year' no this is on a completely different level#we are not in our fire season this is incredibly unprecedented and have never seen something like this#whole communities have been wiped out
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(Across the Spider-Verse spoiler)
#bro was so angry😭#I cannot wait for the next movie I need to see what happens next#across the spiderverse#marvel#miles morales#miguel o'hara#spider man#spider man 2099#spider man across the spider verse#atsv#long titles are the death of me#my art#kind of
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(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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He keeps doing this I’m gonna cry
#also can I just say this was SO sweet from grian and gems pov#gem saying ‘he’s really pathetic. but he’s a good teammate’#and then skizz and mumbo suggesting they kill joel and gem immediately jumps to his defense and calling him ‘our idiot’#and grian joining as well defending him when skizz and mumbo got mad at Joel constantly killing them#meanwhile Joel - completely unaware this is happening - talks about how he feels the need to protect them while they’re in spectator#IM GONNA CRY. THEY MAKE ME SO SICK#smallishbeans#joel smallishbeans#grian#geminitay#wild life spoilers#wild life#wild life smp#trafficblr
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FNAF Puppet is burden with knowing the truth,,
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#the puppet#circus baby#golden freddy#elizabeth afton#charlie emily#fnaf cassidy#fnaf 4#fnaf sister location#I wanted to draw these three together#I’d like to personally apologize this idea became angst#one day I’ll draw these dudes just having a good time#I always feel bad for Charlie too#as she puts it she’s very away#she gives life to others#and she knows most of the things that has happened#I wonder if she’s at all burdened by that#Cassidy and Elizabeth are there but not fully#Cassidy driven by her anger and want for justice#Elizabeth driven by her need for her fathers approval#Charlie is a middle ground of both these ideas#which I think is pretty neat in itself#btw I made this comic like a month ago so if you wanna see comics sooner peep the patreon
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Ohh look, it's the dead boy detectives!
#it happened again#another pair of neil gaiman's gay men have stolen my heart#this happens too frequently for my liking#no but edwin and charles MY GOD#their relationship is so insanely beautiful#please watch dead boy detectives if you haven't yet I NEED it to be renewed!!#also you're allowed to hit me cos I worked on this instead of working on my final#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives fanart#edwin and charles#painland#chedwin#DBD#my art#fanart#digital art#ghosts#my fanart#illustration
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GET LOVED, IDIOT
GET LOVED SO HARD YOUR KIDS HOLD HANDS AND POWER-OF-LOVE YOU BACK TO LIFE
sorry guys, this is just my brain now. this is going to be the only thing I think about for the next week at least.
oh and also this
FIVE YEARS IN AND IT'S FINALLY CANON 🎉🎉🎉
WE DID IT
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 13 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 13 spoilers#oh my god it had everything i wanted AND MORE#...except the hook for 8 which ironically was the only one i was 100% sure was guaranteed to happen#well whatever i am too busy floating in this pool of delicious diasomnia tears#SO MANY TEARS#malleus' voice acting was absolutely 🤌 delectable 🤌#him and silver both are usually so reserved you don't even notice until suddenly FULL-ON UGLY SOBBING#IKANAI DE KURE LILIAAAAAAAAAAA#god. i have so much i need to draw. malleus in his little royal outfit...#ENDLESS MELEANOR F O R E V E R#(ah...meleanor and the knight of dawn are holding hands... :) you've reconciled... :) how lovely...)#(oh...and bauru is here too...)#can't believe poor sebek got 'and also you're here'-ed even at a time like this#that rhythmic was SO cute i'm gonna die. he's your son so it should be ✨PINK✨#ugh this update has spoiled me absolutely rotten. i'm so happy#though i kept waiting for that silver vanrouge and finally decided it wasn't going to happen#then got the 'there is one thing...but it's not a gift that malleus-sama can give...'#and THAT'S WHEN THEY DID THE HOTFIX UPDATE AND I GOT BOOTED#and then i KEPT GETTING ACCESS ERRORS DUE TO HIGH VOLUME 😭#twst NO i didn't need that tension to be heightened thank you#on the other hand when malleus started his proclamation with 'in the name of the draconias...' i did have a second#where i was briefly convinced they were going to do the funniest possible thing and make silver draconia canon after all#anyway i'm out of tags so we'll have to discuss malleus' absolutely bonkers-cuckoo choice of party venue later#now i gotta get back to constantly rewatching the moment he realizes he's accidentally killed lilia. his weeping is my sustenance.
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#megan thee stallion#in her words#megantheestallionedit#mtsedit#*#the way i cried through most of the documentary that's my girl fr i love her down she is so strong#all them 🥷🏿 who ever mocked what happened to her or supported/defended t*ry need to die painfully and i ain't even joking shit was sick
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He was feeling left out
and the higher rez stills, since gifs always export as if you're sending messages through a metal can~







#you may be wondering why I put so much effort into this#I'm curious too funny how these things happen sometimes#anyways I think omega has jets on his back that would let him fly but consider: he wants to Look Cool#shadow the hedgehog#rouge the bat#omega e123#sxsg#sonic x shadow generations#team dark#sxsg spoilers#sonic#idk how long I need to tag spoilers but I'll be nice#comic#having the camera shifted towards shadow for the middle bit was a Mistake#he is soooo much harder to draw than rouge asl;dkfj#like one degree off on the eyes and it becomes unviable I swear#except for profiles ironically that first panel was easy as hell#looking back on this I love how I Completely changed how I drew rouge's wings after the first panel#I think the difference was I just swapped refs and her character model was different lol#meanwhile I'm just blatantly cheating shadow's wings for the middle panel purely to fit them in at all#I truly love how oversized they are except for when I'm trying to make a readable composition#yet another reason he should've been back to the camera rather than facing it in the middle but so it goes#my art#doodles
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blowing them up with my mind
#star trek#star trek tos#spirk#my art#jim kirk#spock#k/s#s’chn t’gai spock#this actually happened btw#trust me#needed more silly spirk tbh#i finished tos life is so bleak rn
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group selfie 📸!! im obsessed with the final girls or the four ggggs or whatever they’re calling themselves <3
(plus their weird creaky neighbor. bigb my beloved)
#allydraws#life series smp#trafficblr#wild life#wild life smp#the final girls#scott smajor#dangthatsalongname#smajor fanart#zombiecleo#zombiecleo fanart#impulsesv#impulsesv fanart#pearlescentmoon#pearlesentmoon fanart#bigbst4tz2#traffic smp#I LOVE THEM. AUGH#i need to draw creaking bigb too but i thought the. minecraft screenshot was funnier for this#theyre so messy. i cannot wait to see what happens#demon impulse#ALSO. DRAWING ZOMBIECLEO IS SUCH A DELIGHT#SHE IS PEAK CHARACTER DESIGN AND I LOVE HER AND I WANT TO DRAW HER FOREVER#described#smajor1995
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To anyone who sees this, I hope you have an experience of whimsy today. I hope you see something utterly joyful, silly, and ridiculous, and I hope you see it and smile. I wish that for you today.
#I'm having a weird morning after talking about my anxiety with someone#and it's manifesting in an aggressive need for those around me to be happy#so I hope something wonderful and silly happens to you all today
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Guilt.
(God these two- how dare they occupy my mind 24/7)
#mmelart#cookie run kingdom#pure vanilla crk#pure vanilla cookie#truthless recluse#shadow milk crk#shadow milk cookie#shadowvanilla#pureshadow#vanilla milkshake#They're so nice to draw aughh I just adore them#Also we all love some Smilk angst but I think PV deserves to cry to after everything that's happened#Like omg he needs a break please let him rest for five seconds without making him suffer#(okay I'm lying keep the angst going I love it)
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10/10 parenting from the Aftons in FNAF
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#william afton#mrs afton#fnaf 4#afton family#you guys don’t understand#like how many people asked for this comic to happen#like I got multiple comments saying I needed to draw this next#ITS SO FUNNY like okay guess I should do it#this comic is unserious but I can’t prove it’s uncanon#probably the most normal family conversation between the Aftons
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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