#so I have the ultimate brain fog basically

[positivelyghastly]

Mist can be a little cruel. As a treat

[batterygarden]

blessed (satoru x fem & afab! reader)

contents: breeding cursed technique fic, dead dove do not eat! (reader's technique is basically for conceiving strong babies), arranged marriage, stockholm syndrome, he's your second cousin so incest, explicit nasty smut & breeding, mild daddy and mommy kink, pregnancy, misogynistic society, crybaby reader, satoru is sweet ultimately, ominous but happy ending, weird montage of sex scenes + the past + the present, 3.8 k words

18+ pls MDNI!

Divine fertility.

It’s gross—somewhere inside your brain (in a locked filing cabinet, underneath a false drawer and written in invisible ink), you’re conscious of the fact that it’s gross.

Your technique, its consequences, your life; everything you’ve been born unto is filth cloaked in blessings, but, on principle, you don’t allow yourself to look at things objectively. Disgust would only make things miserable and you’re designed to be happy. 

Blessed with a cursed technique to conceive, you’ve always had a role and it’s never been disputable—one of producing heirs. Your life was planned from the moment you were born, a whole future tied in a neat little bow—you’re lucky. That’s what everyone’s always promised. 

You’ve been told how happy you are so much that the words have seeped into your skull—you’ve long since found peace with Divine Fertility and what it means. 

More than that.

You want to be bred so badly it aches. 

You can’t go huge lengths of time untouched. You grow volatile when you’re empty too long, a weakness that chains you to your betrothed’s bed. But you’re most useful that way anyways. Hormonal and needy, but certain to pass your partner’s techniques—actually you’re more than useful as a clan member, you’re honored. Enough to marry the strongest man alive—your second cousin in your own clan. 

Whether you’ve always known it or not, you’ve always lived for Gojo Satoru. 

“Do not come in Ijichi—fuck! Not…not right now.” 

Gojo stands a foot away from his bed when he says this, clothes half on while you kneel at his feet, sucking him absolutely dry. That’s as far as he was able to get this morning before you were trying to lure him back to you, looking up at him with giant, glassy eyes while you tugged the waistband of his boxers. He wasn’t about to turn you down. 

“Ngh your mouth feels so perfect. Wanna fuck it…” 

You pull back with a gasp, catching air wherever you can get it with your fiancé’s suffocating girth, nodding while you pump him in your hands. Your lips are spread for him then so he can thrust through them himself, staring down at your teary eyes while he sets a rhythm down your throat. 

You’re quickly gagging, he’s thick but also long and he’ll choke you if you’re not careful. But the relief he brings is worth it. Your craving for him didn't let up this morning even after a creampie and some cockwarming—this is just what you needed. 

He throws his head back when he’s getting close, fingers gripping at your hair but careful not to tug, and he does this cute little whine that has your pussy throbbing. So you touch yourself, too—some fingers to your clit in little circles have you toppling over the edge just in time to match your fiancé, swallowing his milky cum while his last batch leaks down your thighs, mixed with your own release. 

He’s panting when you pull away, eyes open but unfocused while the fog in his brain clears, his hand stroking your head absentmindedly. When he finally comes back to earth, he finds you’ve pulled his boxers up for him but remain clinging to his leg, squishing a cheek against his hip while fingers trace his inner thigh. 

He breathes out a little hooo.

“Did so good for me, pretty. Okay. Now I really gotta go.” 

He tries to take a step but you don’t budge, so he bends to see you better, making an expression of dumbfounded horror when he sees you’re crying. 

“Hey, hey—I’ll be back! What’s with the tears!” 

You sniffle while his big hands wipe at your face, frantic as he tries to make you better. Ijichi’s pacing footsteps are heard outside the door. 

“I don’t know, it just feels so—sniff—bad when you leave sometimes! I still want more of you!” 

Gojo frowns at that, rubbing your head some more. There’s a knock at the door which he ignores. 

“Baby… I want more of you too, but you know I gotta go. No days off when you’re the strongest. Can you be my tough girl, just a few hours?” 

You nod, your breaths calming. What is getting into you? Apparently your separation anxiety can’t even let your fiancé go to work without a break down. It takes you a minute to connect the dots and realize you’re likely ovulating—your hormones can make you a little crazy sometimes. 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

“My pretty baby wants to be a mommy so bad, huh?” 

“I do! I really do, Satoru!” Your voice is a sob. Satoru has been going at it since the moment he came home today—told the maids to leave him alone, locked his door and folded you into the mattress.

“Gonna make me a daddy?” You clench automatically—just like Satoru knew you would. 

“Ye—ah! Wanna have your babies, need to give you babies so bad, daddy!” 

Your neck is craned as far back into the pillows as it can go, your entire body curling in ecstasy from your cousin’s heavy thrusting. Your words have his movements turning frantic, your legs folded up by his shoulders so your silver anklet with his name on it can jingle by his ear. Satoru lifts you then, utilizing his ridiculous strength and huge hands to pull your hips higher where his cock can split you easier.  He starts hitting so deep you see stars. 

Your head tends to scramble and slow when he fucks you like this, eyes barely open, blindly clinging to the man you were born to cling to while he makes a home for himself near your womb. It’s hard to focus on him like you want to, but if you did you’d see eyes drunk on lust and power…

Satoru Gojo can be a greedy man. Spoiled, too—He usually already owns what he covets and never waits long for things he doesn’t. But even the world at his fingertips, you at his fingertips, doesn’t fully sait that want like most would expect. For example, as much as Satoru owns you, he doesn’t feel he really has you until your body’s fucked out of commission in his grip, eyes blank and stupid while your cunt spasms around him, milking his cock for everything he has. 

This is when he’s got you, he thinks. This is when you’re his, like putty in his fingers, warmed up and malleable. This is when everything’s how it’s really supposed to be. 

The two of you don’t come out of satoru’s room the entire rest of the night, except when Satoru darts his hands out of his doorway to grab trays of food the servants dropped by. It’s exhausting the way you’re used, body split and bent and bruised so that satoru’s seed can take root, but it’s also addicting. You beg for more of him, latch any remaining strength onto his limbs while you cry out his name. Satoru’s cock is addictive in a natural way—stronger than any drugs. Your betrothed’s cock is addicting like food and water and air… sometimes it’s the only thing that makes you feel alive. 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Today marks the day you’re officially seven months pregnant. 

Despite the fact that your technique has you strong and glowing (this is what you were made for, everyone continues to insist), you spend much of your time in mild discomfort. You get the feeling satoru’s passed his ridiculously long legs to his baby, who’s adamant in kicking you constantly, plus your lower back is often sore.

Still, you go about your daily life as normal—lounging, eating, making infinite baby preparations and, of course, waiting for satoru to come home so he can fuck you. 

Lately your husband is the ultimate harbinger of gifts and treats—your pregnancy has been the opposite of helpful towards satoru’s impulse spending habits, not that it’s too great a concern with the family’s bottomless wealth. He rarely comes home empty handed. Today, he’s brought a teensy yellow beanie he apparently stumbled upon at a shop and some artisan ikigai strawberries—a favorite of yours amidst pregnancy cravings—satoru’s encouraging his child’s expensive taste that’s for sure. 

You’re currently spooning in bed to enjoy them, watching a cheesy hallmark movie while satoru feeds you bites—he’s focusing much more on you than the movie. 

Honestly, he doesn’t seem to focus on much else when he’s home at all… he finds pregnant you to be more than captivating. It’s like he could watch you day and night, doing the most mundane tasks to nothing at all—in his own words he’s fascinated by how precious you manage to be. Eyes following you like you’re the most engrossing little thing, cooing to himself when you’re particularly cute. It reminds you of how you used to treat your pet cat growing up. 

You’ve gotten used to the excessive attention and coddling—it’s not like you’d ever mind a little clinging, nor was satoru’s babying completely foreign in the first place. So you let him feed you without comment, enjoy his hands wandering over your belly and curves without fanfare. 

This process quickly gets messy though; red juice keeps dripping from the corner of your mouth towards your pillow only to be saved in the nick of time by satoru’s quick fingers, reaching around to wipe at your cheek again and again, having you lick his fingers clean for him each time he does. Things get even messier once he gets the bright idea to split each berry, biting before offering you the other half. 

“I like sharing with you, this way neither of us miss the best ones.” He says with his mouth partially full, reaching down to pop part of a berry into your mouth. You hum, mostly engrossed in your film, managing not to drool this time. 

But the next bite of berry he performs directly over your neck, dripping juice directly onto your skin when he does.

“Hey!” You start to turn but he holds you in place on your side, darting down to lick up the spill with his tongue. 

You whine when he does, sensitive skin set ablaze by your lover’s mouth. 

The movie is forgotten when things easily pick up from there—things easily pick up between the two of you, period. It’s not even your first time having sex today, you took his cock first thing in the morning after a particularly needy grinding display. 

But this time it’s extra slow, extra attentive—like Gojo’s savoring you to the fullest extent. The berries are an added component, dripping sweet juice on your skin once gojo fully undresses you, only for him to lick and suck and kiss you clean. Your pussy has his attention then for what feels like eternity, your husband’s soft lips kissing and kissing and kissing like he needs to clean your juices there too. You cum so easily—you always have, but pregnant and sensitive like this your rate is almost ridiculous. Satoru, adoring as he’s been lately, doesn’t even tease, just savors. Dotes and flexes his cuteness aggression through his careful arms. He’s cautious with that—his urge to squeeze you—thinks he ought to get a medal for the self control he has to be soft. He caresses and pets like you’re a newborn yourself, fucking you just as thoughtfully. 

You’d only been alive ten short months the day the earth shifted upon Satoru’s birth. Of course you don’t remember it, but you know intimately well the way your own path was no exception to his influence. You were already confirmed to have a fertility technique, almost as rare as the six eyes themselves, when the strongest sorcerer of your time was born—the match up was obvious. You were groomed for it until his parents said yes, and then only more intensely once they did.

And as much as you love Satoru, as much as you’d live for him and die for him and anything in between—it was sometimes hard. You had to grow to love him, to accept his power over you. 

Because among the list of cons to a lifetime betrothal—a lifetime of devotion in your case—was that Satoru always knew you were his. You had an owner at the ripe age of seven, aged six and a half. 

And, unbelievable as it may be in hindsight, at times he was a tyrant. 

Tugging and clinging and pushing—at first he had as much respect for you as a child might for a cheap toy (the kind their well-off parents taught them were replaceable). 

And there wasn’t much you could do about it besides grieve and sulk—your parents didn’t let you talk back how you wanted, and Satoru wasn’t above tattling. 

You didn’t dare wish for a different husband—what with how lucky everyone insisted you were, but at times you’d wonder. What would it be like to be assigned someone polite and thoughtful, like satoru’s friend he brought around the estate from time to time…

Suguru never really got to know you enough to form an opinion on your character. It was rare he visited the extravagant Gojo estate in the first place, and when he did, Satoru often gave the impression that he wanted to keep you private. It was clear you were a permanent fixture on those grounds—just another layer to Satoru’s mystifying lifestyle. You were a complete contrast to Suguru’s friend, all reserved and polite; the only thing you really inspired Geto to feel was pity. 

Gojo was a little shit as a kid—still is in many ways—and sometimes even Geto himself couldn’t stand him. But Suguru’s always had a backbone. There was a reason he was capable of maintaining best friend status with the strongest sorcerer alive while others couldn’t (or wouldn’t) get close—and it’s that Geto knew how to tell Satoru off. He could see through Gojo’s dramatics and put him in his place—something you clearly had not mastered.

Geto saw your lenience first hand the first day Satoru tried to have the three of you hangout, watching in fascination as you protested, gave in, and then were immediately reprimanded for sneaking into a forbidden wing of the Gojo estate. Satoru got a mild scolding, a barely-there stern edge to the maid’s voice who caught the three of you—telling him that he knew better and that he had to think about his future wife’s safety as well as his own. You got a cold glare when the maid set sights on you, a tug of your wrist to your room where it was clear you’d go on to get a firm lesson on obedience. 

Once you were gone, Suguru spoke to Satoru in a hushed tone. “I feel kinda bad your girlfriend’s getting locked up now. Aren’t you gonna do something?” 

“She’s not my girlfriend, asshole!”

“You’re getting married someday. Same thing.” 

“It’s totally different. But whatever, yeah, I feel a little bad too. Probably I’ll break her out of her room later,” Geto watched Gojo absentmindedly pick a fuzz off his shirt—not a care in the world before he perked up to add, “Right now let’s play tekken.” 

And they did, but soon Geto brought you up again. This was the first time he’d met you, and really begun conceptualizing the situation Gojo was in—he couldn’t imagine being tied to someone like that at his ripe and girlfriend-less age of thirteen. The idea fascinated him.

“What’s it like, living with ___?”

“It’s fine,” Satoru sighed, going back and forth between different characters to try. “She’s annoying—got some needy physical touch technique so she’s always clinging to me in my sleep, it’s honestly creepy. But it’s fine.” 

This took Geto moment to process… 

“You sleep in the same bed?!” He put his controller down at that point, fully engrossed. 

“Yeah, ‘cause of her technique she’s like, unable to sleep alone basically. It’s weird. But other than that she’s fine I guess—a little slow. Her parents won’t even put her in school.” 

Suguru could think of so many questions he didn’t even know where to start. 

But what stood out most was how Satoru remained calm about the whole thing, at peace even. 

“Have you tried fighting it? Didn’t you say your mom does whatever you want? Tell her no.” 

Satoru waved a lazy hand at Suguru before he even finished talking.

“That wouldn’t work, ___ would just get betrothed to someone else, then. Her parents really want that for her. ‘Sides, she’s mine, Y’know? Even if she’s a weirdo it’s not like I’d give her away.”

It’s been years now since Suguru Geto has seen you last—he hasn’t been back to the Gojo estate since before his enrollment in jujutsu tech. He’s changed a lot since his starry-eyed youth, and he vaguely wonders what it will be like to see you again, if you’ve changed as well; over the years he’s found that his friend prefers to bring you up as little as possible, so he hasn’t had many updates. Though his primary focus is on the man he’s escorting, a dizzy and bleeding Gojo Satoru who managed to get hit by a scorpion curse while they were messing around on their mission. Gojo insisted on heading home after, despite shoko’s offer to provide more thorough reversed technique than his own, frowning but easily relenting when Suguru insisted on at least helping him get there. 

It’s late, not even staff around to notice as Suguru tugs Gojo along, supporting half the man’s weight through the threshold and fumbling to find light switches as he enters new rooms. But then you emerge, and Suguru can’t pick his jaw up off the ground when you do, this heavily pregnant girl in a frilly nightgown and bare feet, storming in with tears absolutely pouring down her face. After one heartfelt “Satoru!” you can’t manage to get out a single sentence you’re crying so hard, and Suguru watches the most mystifying thing: Satoru comforts you. His unserious asshole of a best friend (he thinks with fondness in his heart), a man who’s long since lost the will to show vulnerability in even the most gut-wrenching moments—Suguru watches as he meets you with this sympathetic, earnest frown on his face, crouching to let you hold him and mumbling little sorry’s. 

Suguru isn’t sure what they’re for, but he does know that Satoru has never seriously apologized to him for anything in his life. He’s expressed regret, learned from some mistakes, sure. But the word sorry, as far as Suguru knew, wasn’t in Gojo’s vocabulary. 

He says it a lot now, with this cooing voice that Suguru also finds foreign. He learns through some mumbled words you manage that your tears are from worry, that gojo promised he’d be home earlier and that he wasn’t answering his phone. Then your wails turn fresh when you notice gojo is bleeding. 

“Baby this is literally nothing—“ Geto, who saw Gojo’s initial wound and can actually see the man swaying on his feet, almost chuckles. He saves it with a cough. 

“—I basically already healed myself. You know nothing could ever happen to me.” 

This makes you mad, Suguru can practically feel how your anger tinges the air. 

“Satoru Gojo I do not know that and—hic—you’d do better to answer your phone next time!”

“Ahh yes ma’am, yes ma’am.”

That secret filing cabinet in your mind rattles from time to time when you reach your ninth month pregnant. You’ve somehow managed to stave off any ill second thoughts towards your fate till now, letting it hit you last minute like something you’ve been putting off. It’s not that you’re unready for motherhood—you’ve reached acceptance of what’s to come—but you’ve developed a slight fear of your own personal eternity being reached. Slight because you’re excellent at burying and vaulting—slight because you love satoru and your baby so deeply. 

But around your nine month marker, sore and barely even able to fuck properly, your husband makes an off-handed remark. You’d just taken him on all fours, cumming so easily despite satoru’s unusually tame treatment, and were laying in the aftershocks with sticky thighs while satoru fetched you a warm washcloth. The bath water was also running loudly, so he had to speak up while he said, “I’m gonna look to see how soon an in-ground pool could be installed, bet it’d be good for your poor hips next time you’re pregnant.” He speaks while he opens up your legs, casually wiping your shared mess clean with a soft damp towel, like he has a million times. 

Maybe you’re tired, maybe it’s his casual tone paired with such a ludicrous sentence, but the idea of buying  a pool because of what should be temporary pregnancy ailments and the implication that you’ll have them again and again… it sends you in a spiral. 

It’s not unusual for you to burst into tears with your wacky hormones—satoru’s seen your puffy crying face, especially while pregnant, more times than he could count. So he isn’t particularly alarmed when he sees the silent drops rolling down your cheeks when he returns from the laundry shoot a moment later. But he is concerned, crawling up the bed till he’s hovering to kiss your shoulder, scooting behind you to spoon your lightly shaking frame. 

He doesn’t talk for a moment, trying to decide the best course of action. He’s familiar with the tears, sure, but he knows he’s not an expert on them, sometimes he tries to talk to them when he shouldn’t and vice versa. 

Eventually he settles on a little “I got you,” for comfort, his warm hands rubbing over your arms then your belly in what he hopes is a soothing rhythm. 

You think about telling him your issues, your deepest secrets, but you deliberate too long. Soon he’s kissing you again, pressing lips in a slow trail up your shoulder and neck before switching directions. 

“I love you,” he adds. 

You won’t tell him. You love him, too. The uck and grime of it all gets buried once again, shoved in the section of your head that stays locked up with high security. You turn around and, instead of answering, capture his lips in a salty kiss, the kind that starts out soft and clumsy—sweet. It doesn’t take long for your lips to get needy though, for the sweetness to be replaced with aching. The kind that always spreads between your thighs. 

Thanks for reading eeeek! feedback and rbs appreciated! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[vulpine-spectacle]

So, I am having a Day (tm) and I am trying to write at the moment, but otherwise I'm having some brain fog and writing is proving tricky. My leg is also sore due to the tattoo I just got and my mood is somber due to failing my certification test, so...yay me. :) ( I can retake the test, so no worries on my end. )

But since I am in a Mood (tm), I am going to share a couple of random facts about Echoes in our Blood - deleted plot points, random facts, etc.

The scene in Hyperion when Eurydice, Isca, Jael, Valeria, and Delphine were undergoing a Bene Gesserit test originally had a different outcome. While they were nesting under the roots of a tree, they were going to be attacked by direwolves and have a chase sequence. Eurydice was going to get bitten by a direwolf, then escape with Isca. They were both going to jump into a river and Eurydice was going to have a vision of Cienna during that sequence. This was actually a pivotal change, because Isca was originally going to be Eurydice's companion. But I scrapped the idea due to how long it would take to write and my general lack of interest in it, and...opted for Delphine instead. This singular change thus amplified Delphine's character within the narrative. :)

In vein with the wolf bite, there was going to be a scene where when Feyd goes down on her for the first time, he sees the bite and asks about it. When Eurydice explains it came from a big ass wolf, Feyd sinks his teeth into her thigh and basically "marks" her. I thought it was neat, but ultimately not worth the whole narrative and scenes, etc., that would've had to come before it.

Chapterhouse is about 80% untouched, so the natural resources are allowed to flourish, hence why the trees are so big. But it also has a bunch of impressive creatures that would be long since extinct from earth but are thriving on the planet. ;) These animals are based on the Late Pleistocene mammals. And to clarify, no, sadly no dinosaurs exist on Chapterhouse. :')

In my original draft of the first few chapters, Feyd-Rautha was going to kill Kaine at nine years old on Lankiveil, not Giedi Prime. Feyd-Rautha was going to grow up under his father's wing, a bullied boy within Lankiveil who was ridiculed and berated by his peers for being the son of an exiled member of House Harkonnen. The knife belonged to Kaine and Feyd-Rautha killed him with it and buried his body in the snow. This was changed shortly after when I did research on Feyd-Rautha's history and found that his father and mother were killed by Rabban when Feyd-Rautha was two. I liked this much better and decided to keep it. :)

A narrative regret of mine...I wrote and published EIOB before watching Dune: Part 2. When I found out the movie changed Feyd-Rautha's narrative so he killed his mother, I regretted having written her already dead at the start of the story. I would have deeply loved exploring the possibilities on how this would've affected Feyd's childhood. :') It's my only major regret, but honestly, it's not detrimental to the narrative. It's just one of those *face smack* moments, ya feel? :/

[yj-98]

my brain is perpetually melting lately so im like not super comprehending it but i looove hearing ppl talk about what theyre into and i am just nodding along so enthusiastically when you talk about rdr2 . also take this as me asking about it as i said im nodding along

crow im sorry </3 honestly i understand 100% and i hope the brain fog lifts for you<3 but im happy its fun to hear about <3 thank you for nodding along and asking about it (in spirit) so let me lay the generic history + synopsis of both games because i have . sort of just been dropping context as i talk about two brothers and their horrible father (<3 and the good one)

anyways im about to be very autistic<3 buckle up

red dead redemption (2010) started off as a spiritual successor to a game called red dead revolver (2004) that rockstar bought after the game had been cancelled after it failed to follow thru with funding issues in 2000 (capcom. as in mega man capcom, was paying for a studio to make it, but funding dropped and and that studio closed so rockstar acquired the studio + eventually got the rights for rthe game). HOWEVER they wanted to do more w/ the concept

so john martson was born in 2010 w/ the first red dead game. youre introduced to a this former outlaw in 1911 who's family is being used for blackmail as he makes his way across a fictionalized version of the american south/west + mexico trying to track down his former friends because the US govt wants them dead. hes polite but no-nonsense and hes sarcastic sometimes and mentally unwell and also so kind. hes very funny honestly like rdr1 john my beloved. and he helps people along the way! he makes associates with all kinds of people. he deals with the people in his old gang (javier escuella and bill williamson), including his father figure dutch van der linde. hes described as his fathers greatest success and greatest downfall. hes returned to his wife and son and 'uncle' only for the US govt to raid their home, kill uncle, and it forces john to tell his wife and son to run while he makes a last stand, knowing that theyd stop at killing him. because ultimately these games are about redemption. and it almost succeeds, but his son grows up to avenge him

and its a fun game! its a wonderful story its really well done with interesting twists and turns and a HEARTBREAKING ending with this kid just. continuing that cycle. killing a government man puts a target on his head too. and rockstar couldve gone with a sort of . 1910s-1920s set sequel where you explore what the kids fate is. instead in 2018 we're given a prequel in the form of red dead redemption 2.

its 1899 and its the end of the golden age and the age of the "west" is honestly decades gone. dutch is clinging to an old life because he hates the US government, doesnt trust the law, etc. hes got a group of misfits including two men hes raised since they were preteens (arthur morgan + john marston) alongside his oldest friend (platonic life partner? sorry. theyre toxic old men* in love) hosea matthews.

(*old for 1899)

so arthur morgan is born in 2018. hes not mentioned once in rdr1 because he didnt exist! and rockstar gives themself the very hard job of making us LIKE a protagonist new to the story as a whole. and it works basically immediately. id argue its almost impossible to hate arthur when he feels so human. ive rarely like. played a game that beat for beat feels very much like reading a novel and i am. so honest when i say he feels human. they all do. but you hear his thoughts, you read his journal entries, you hear his comments to himself and his way of interacting with the world around you, let alone with other people. hes so endearing, if not a bit gruff and rough around the edges, and then he warms. especially around hosea, or in quiet moments with john or his friendship that blooms w/ a man named charles (i will not get into this.) or his kindness with sadie adler, a widow you meet in the prologue (shes sooo).

and then arthur starts dying. hes dying from the end of chapter 2. theres 6 chapters total + two epilogues w/ john. chapter 1 is essentially the prologue. youre given ONE whole chapter with arthur before It Happens. and hes declining. and you get hints. he starts coughing.

rdr2 is a story of arthur and the events that lead to rdr1 with a splintered family. you know the events of rdr1 will happen as absolutes: bill dies. javier dies. dutch dies. john and abigail (his wife) will die. jack, their son, who in rdr2 is maybe all of 5 years old, will one day kill a man. but that seems so distant

its a death march, its an avalanche, its a butterfly effect. its a car crash its a trainwreck. and youre a rubbernecker. you cant look away, you have to play his part in the play. the events that ultimately are the catalyst happen a month prior to the games opening: dutch picked up a man named micah bell, and micah is not a nice man. and he knows exactly how to play dutch like a fiddle. and dutch's ego is too big to know hes being played. they rob a ferry boat. it goes badly. people die. the pinkertons are after them all. they run into the mountains and almost die. dutch's ego is bruised and he Needs to correct it. they run into his old nemesis and they steal that guys plans to rob a train. you could say that this was the true catalyst for the events for the rest of the game but ultimately it doesnt matter. micah has his grip on dutch, and dutch just robbed one of thee wealthiest men in america, who has an ego that matches

meanwhile arthur is an attack dog, and he attacks the wrong target on orders he doesnt like. a weak man dying of tuberculosis. it infects arthur, unwittingly. arthur can quit these jobs. its doesnt matter. he will die in 6 months

rdr2 is a story of trying desperately to pump the breaks as more and more people die. its about hope and trying to save as many people as you can. its about people who fall through the cracks and who the 1% hate coming together and the reality of being used in a cult of personality. its about one man falling apart and taking 20+ people who looked to him like a shepherd, down with him. its about desperately clinging to the past as the future rockets forward. its about loyalty its about betrayal its about dying.

arthur is shown chapter after chapter as he gets weaker that his father is willing to let family die. that when dutch loses hosea in ANOTHER botched robbery he is not the same man. that he's willing to let both his sons die. and when arthur realizes his time left is short, hes desperate to make things right

arthur dies letting john escape. dutch and micah look down at him as hes dying and walk away. arthur is buried facing west. for the sun. john inherits his hat and journal. john tries to build that fateful home with abigail and jack. you spend the epilogue with him as he tries to make wrong puzzle pieces fit and shave down the parts of him that were his fathers son so that they can try to live normally. he succeeds. the epilogue lets you face micah and dutch as john and arthurs friends who survived (charles + sadie). you kill micah. he deserves it. dutch lets john live.

time does not stop. rdr1 looms ahead. you ignore this and play ranch simulator as john draws in arthurs journal and writes and scratches out words and draws hearts around his wifes name. you can find arthurs grave and sit with him.

i spent 1 month putting off arthurs death. i mourned him in real time when he died. games to CHANGE the brain chemistry

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

In SGG’s most recent update (amazing, fantastic), I love that Inumaki has the Ultimate Power Move of gently touching Yuuta’s wrist and from that moment Yuuta will be compliant. Forget Yuuta’s Power of Love, inumaki’s is winning the prize. Beautiful, 10/10, I love seeing it weaponized to combat Yuuta’s insanity.

I was also rereading the previous chapter and Shoko saying that it took gojo six months to recover from his first use of cursed energy really jumped out at me. If you’re willing and at liberty to say, what was his crash like?

Thanks again for another fantastic update!!! <3

It's legitimately one of the underlying rules of the SGG universe that Yuuta's a huge simp for Inumaki and if Inumaki takes him by the wrist, he'll stop resisting and go along with things. He did it in chapter 7 too. His heart is beautiful and true and Yuuta is very flustered to be (almost) holding his hand.

Gojo's experience with RCT was exacerbated by the fact that he kept using it at a high level pretty constantly in the aftermath so he could keep his infinity up constantly. So his problem was actually very close to Yuuta's--every time he came down from it, he sent himself right back into the symptoms by using it more.

Gojo's bad effects with RCT basically made him act high. But internally, he felt like he could See and Know everything in the universe. Dude was basically seeing shrimp colors. He felt like he was god. It was basically him after the fight with Toji all the time.

When the RCT wore off and he crashed, he felt like the universe had been drained of half of its color. He felt like he was swaddled in cotton and everything was muffled and dull. It was a case of serious brain fog for someone who was used to existing at a higher level of clarity than anyone else alive.

Have you ever seen that post that's like, eldritch horror is an ant for a brief moment knowing what it's like to be human? And then suddenly he's an ant again, and he can't reconcile the two existences?

Gojo's used to being the human among the ants. But RCT made him feel like he was on a completely different level of knowledge and understanding than usual. Then, when he crashed, he felt like he was suddenly shuffled down to being an ant. He wasn't actually less perceptive; it's just that RCT was fucking with his emotional response and perceptions.

I'm so glad you liked it!

[glossticcs]

~ reasons to keep ⭐️ving during summer

intro-

if you're like me and not yet at your ugw/gw now that it's almost summer vacation, you might feel a bit unmotivated right now. i've caught myself feeling a bit unmotivated as i feel like i've already lost and that i'm going to miss out on summer anyway, since i'm not thin-

enough yet. in this post i'm going to try to prove myself wrong and give reasons as to why we/i need to lock in and stay on the grind

disclaimer:

this is obv for edtmblr. it's also more relevant if you're currently in school or uni. also, i am aware that a lot of this is pretty unrealistic but delulu is the solulu (k!ll me now)

1.glow up

this might be the most obvious reason. imagine coming back to school/uni and finally having reached your ugw. being able to wear whatever you want to school and feel pretty, the look on peoples faces when they see you again, and how drastically different you look.

2. brain fog

now, this might not be relevant to everyone be you might have summer school, a different education system or not go to school at all, BUT regardless.i am a very ambitious student and will often catch myself giving myself some slack while studying or at school, -

letting myself eat smth to stay sharp. during summer i won't be studying as much, meaning that reason to eat can be discarded all together. brain fog ultimately won't be as big of an issue, or won't have as big consequences at least.

3.reset

implementing new, healthy habits takes time. i view summer break as a kind of pause (granted, i will be working almost every day) where i can focus more on myself and getting used to a new, healthier way of living. i can put more energy into this, since i won't have to

focus as much on studying etc. when school inevitably starts again these habits will be much more implemented into my lifestyle and i can live more comfortably, not having to focus on changing my way of living all the time.

4.autumn

i am definitely an autumn girly, i love autumn so much. imagining myself being thin during autumn, drinking black coffee in a café while studying and watching gilmore girls is rly motivating. if i work hard now, i can have reached my ugw in time for autumn.

5.halloween

this kind of ties into my previous point, but during halloween i will be able to wear any costume and look good in it

6.summer is long

this depends on your geographical location, but if you're european like me, it is relevant. it is only the very beginning of june. if you work hard now, you could be thinner by august and still enjoy a few months of summer being more confident in a slimmer body

7.⭐️ving in summer

where i live it's basically cold all the time.'

ving when it's warm out is so much nicer than doing so

when the asphalt is thick with snow and frost, or it's raining and dark out 24/7. really savour the warm weather and all the light and fresh summer foods.

the end:

i hope this makes sense to someone else and not just me :)

[goddessofroyalty]

There's always been one thing I never really understood about Omegaverse and other verses where people go through heat cycles, and I kinda want your thoughts on this take. Why is it people seem to think that just because you're in heat, you're a completely INSATIABLE nymphomaniac during that time. Like, I get it, actually participating in secual activity will help but like... literally ask ANY woman on their period what they feel like, and usually Horny is one of the last things they're gonna tell you. That's isn't to say you aren't horny more than usual but like... usually, everything else overshadows it. Why can't we have omegaverses and heat cycles that depict the more gross side of things?? Why is the stand usually that an omega wants a massive orgy!? Is there soekthing I'm missing?

To actually answer your question before I get into My Thoughts, Heats are written the way they are because:

1. Heats are something that does happen in the animal kingdom, which, while basically every species behaves differently during, is the biological "time to have sex" time.

2. Probably more importantly, heat-tropes (and definitively omegaverse) started as an excuse for porn that then had worldbuilding created around them.

Now that I have acknowledged those two things we can go into my thoughts.

Because while humans are ultimately just animals in the biologial sense, we are animals that developed agriculture and civilisations. And to be able to have those things you just can't really have a noticable amount of your population in their prime who are taking a full week off being completely mindless sex machines (especially when you consider it would be both the omega and their mate out of action if the omega needs near constant sex). Of course this can be mitigated depending on how often the heats are - people could and did take time off their responsibilities throughout history by leaning on family/community (especially relevant in more pack-based omegaverses). But it can also be mitigated by not having heats be all-consuming so the omega (and their mate/s) an still tend to their duties/tasks with only brain fog and more breaks than usual (to go fuck/masturbate away the horny).

If you've been following this blog for a while you would know I lean towards the later (for social cohesion reasons as well but that's another long explanation).

I completely agree with wanting more people to explore the more gross/uncomfortable elements of heats (we are afterall animals that created clothing so we're not just walking around bare). That's why I tend to have cramps as an early-heat symptom. But ultimately the goal of a heat is to motivate the person to have sex and it being so uncomfotable that they don't want to is counter-productive to that goal (with the usual caveat of everyone being different and that there are likely people who have heats that are just uncomfortable).

And of course the other final caveat of every fandom I write in tends to get a slightly different flavour of omegaverse depending on what I think works best with the themes/worldbuilding of that piece of canon.

[girlboss-enthusiast]

@labsbian gave me permission to post this publicly, and a couple other people have asked similar things. It's related to this post about not identifying as a radical feminist anymore. For anyone reading this, please keep in mind that I'm autistic and have brain fog, and ask for clarification instead of assuming bad faith. My thoughts on this are evolving as we discuss it, too.

First off, I do consider myself aligned with radical feminism. I may not call myself a radical feminist because I truly don't think I adhere to enough of the basic tenets to call myself one, but In conversation, I'll say something like "I'm pretty much a radfem," or "I agree with radical feminists on this topic." I'm not rejecting the concept of or affiliation with radical feminism; my post relates more to online communities like radblr than irl activism, where mostly no one cares about your specific label so long as you're helping (at least in my experience).

Now, there are two separate answers for me to give here. The first is about my personal beliefs and where they do and don't clash with radical feminism. The second is a broader reflection on radical feminism as a viable political movement. I'm going to address the second part first. This gets very long, as a warning!

I've done a lot of reading on radical feminism and spoken to many women who are dedicated radical feminists, and in my opinion, female separatism is the ultimate goal of radical feminism. It's the most thorough way of challenging patriarchy at its root. If you (general you) are a radfem who disagrees with this, I get it; everyone will have a slightly different interpretation of what radical feminism is. But IMO, if you look at the stats and theory, and believe that the personal is political, separatism is the most logical conclusion to patriarchy.

But the problem is that many (most?) women aren't going to become separatists. Lots of them are going to be super resistant just to interrogating how misogyny infiltrates their personal lives, even as they acknowledge structural sexism - either because they don't want to really think about the horror of it, or they dislike the concept of the personal being political, or they just don't think it's that deep. Some women will interrogate the misogyny in their lives and choose to have relationships with men, either romantically or platonically. Is it the wisest choice? Often not. Is it going to be the most common one? Yeah, I think so. (For transparency, that is the choice I've made, and yes, I've thought about it a lot.) Ultimately, I think that the choice to keep males in your life is not compatible with radical feminism.

There is a gap between radfem theory and practice, and the opinions and beliefs of many women. I truly cannot see a widespread 6B4T movement happening in the USA in my lifetime. (I'm focusing on the US bc that's where I live, and I don't know enough about other places' feminism to make sweeping statements.) I think it's vitally important to bridge that gap. Yet it seems like most radfems online see the gap as insurmountable, or not worth focusing on. I really, really disagree with that. I think it's counterproductive to the advancement of women's rights and status in the world. That doesn't mean I think the "more radical" feminist goals on the radfem side of the gap aren't worth pursuing and supporting. I just don't think they're going to cause material change for the majority of women, not yet. I personally would prefer to put my energies toward working with libfems, choicefems, normie women, and male allies to reduce harm toward all women and find compromises between radfem beliefs and their beliefs. It seems to me that the goal of radical feminism is less about outreach and more about making strong communities of politically involved, likeminded women. There is a need for both subcategories of feminists and room for both of us in the broader feminist movement.

I want to emphasize that this relates mostly to online communities. IRL relationships or close online ones allow for much more nuance than radblr or its Twitter equivalent. So honestly, maybe this take is just terminally online! I do spend more time here and less time touching grass than I would prefer due to my disability. I've also been talking with some women who strongly believe that someone in my position should still call herself a radical feminist, precisely so there is variation in the movement that can be more accepting and...idk, open-minded. I'm letting that thought percolate right now.

As for my personal beliefs and radical feminism, I can actually summarize those in bullet points, as opposed to the rest of this post lol.

Radical feminists tend to ignore the nuance of gender and sex dysphoria, writing it off as reactions to misogyny which can be fixed, or just straight-up privilege. I'm skeptical on that. I think it's more complex. Some women might find some level of transition to be the most practical solution. Sex dysphoria may have a neurological, endocrinological, or neurodevelopmental component that genuinely requires medical intervention. We just don't have enough research to know. I think people need to do what gets them through the day, and if presenting as the other sex (without denying your own female sex) is what that is....then so be it. The important thing is to figure out what is best for you, and that's a process for sure.

I 100% agree with radical feminists on the sex industry and the beauty industry. However, I do have sympathy for people of both sexes who genuinely never thought about the inhumanity of the sex industry; it seems so obvious to me now, but I totally bought the "sex work is work" line for a while and I know other radfems who did too. I also understand why quitting porn can be difficult because orgasms are a powerful conditioning tool, and when you subconsciously associate orgasms with porn, it can be hard to override that association. I have zero sympathy and complete contempt for people who are educated on the crimes of the sex industry and just carry on with their lives, though. Or for men who quit porn ~for themselves~ after they learned about the hell women, children, and some men go through.

I think men can be allies and can be educated on radical feminism. I do not think men are hopeless or inherently destructive. Male socialization is destructive, yes. Far too many men in general are destructive. Individual men can be fine. I guess that's #notallmen but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And as I said above, I think radical feminism is fundamentally not flexible enough to be practical on a broad scale. That's truly my biggest issue.

Happy to elaborate further if anyone is interested.

[calictii]

hey. tell me about your oc.

Okay i'm really sorry i let this sit in my drafts for a million years. My Pla oc is like such a self insert. and is not very well defined since i am Just getting back into writing. being gone for like 10 years. XD

Anyways He's named Myth and he did live in Modern day Sinnoh. When he was younger he put all of his Hopes and Dreams on being a Pokemon Trainer. But wasn't actually good at it by the modern competitive standards. Didn't have the skills, the abilities, the mental health. Doesn't do much in the modern day. Stays in his house and basically Just Rots. Single minded little man. Can't be a pokemon trainer? then doesn't want to be anything. Doesn't want to do anything.

I'm inserting a read more for safety reasons. For how he ends up in Hisui. Tw: self harm/Suicide (not graphic)

He does self harm, so he has scars all over his arms. And right before the story he had attempted to kill himself and he laid down and waited to die basically. Which is how Arceus comes to rescue him. And when Laventon finds him, he's exceptionally sick and disorientated and like depression brain fog. So he doesn't even think to question what's going on. You know "This might as well happen" ? Laventon assumes that Myths self harm injuries (scars and fresh wounds) are from pokemon attacks and thinks myth must be a super tough man who deals a lot with scary pokemon. and because Myth prefers this assumption over the truth he Just doesn't correct him. (Laventon uses it as proof on how helpful he would be because "Look at how many tough encounters he's survived!" ) Even when he does figure out that he's Not dead and this isn't some hallucination he's basically like "Well my life sucked anyways." surprisingly chill about the situation. Basically throws out his modern day knowledge. Doesn't care. Irrelevant. Obsolete. (At least until he meets Ingo.) Also think that due to his fresh injuries, Laventon takes him to see Pesselle first. To help him out as he is quite sick. (although not so sure on the kinds of healthcare that's going on here. XD) Which is actually how he meets Captain Cyllene. Because of course she's heard of this commotion happening. Throughout the game Myth learns to appreciate his new life. Through the many life threatening encounters with pokemon and also the dangers of the wilds in general. He has a purpose to his life and he belongs somewhere. Even if it's quite conditional. His skills as a pokemon trainer may not be any good in the modern day, but in comparison to people afraid of pokemon, he's impressive to them. Also his skills do genuinely improve because they have to. During the banishment and Red Sky thing, he's basically helping to solve it, because He Lives Here Now and Doesn't Want To Die. Totally for self preservation reasons 0% for the people of Jubilife, because they really sent him to meet his death. But ultimately does forgive them because Saving the world really does give you some leverage in the village.

[gingmina]

MEET MY SONA ! 🐈‍⬛⭐️🎀

im finally introducing my hxh sona to the universe ! everyone meet amina!

more info abt her under the cut ! this is gonna be a long post i think

let’s start off with some basic info!

name: amina freecss

nicknames: amie, min

nen type: manipulator-conjurer

pronouns: she/him

age/birthday: 06/08— 29 y/o

sexuality: lesbian

gender: bigender

relationships: ging (fiancé), cheadle (girlfriend), kite (partner), pariston, mizai, (metamours/friends), *deluca (best friend/found sibling), arlene and makena (bosses/friends) etc.

race/species: cuban colombian

voiceclaim(s): lizzie freeman

source: hxh

likes: plushies, animals, fashion, kpop, weed

* these are my other hxh ocs !! i may introduce them if anyone’s interested :O!

she has two nen abilities : Stuffed Heart and Cloud Space!

ABILITY 1: STUFFED HEART

Stuffed Heart is part of Amina’s main defense ability. Amina carries a plushie on her person at all times, the most prominent plush you’ll see the most is a fox she calls Eden.

On the outside, Eden appears to be a normal plush toy that a child would have. What you wouldn’t know is that he’s sentient, thanks to Amina’s nen. Eden works as a distraction. The enemy will notice Eden’s charm and becomes overwhelmed with joy and cuteness aggression, so much so that it could bring them to tears or leave them into a hysteric state. This could even result in death (self imploding.) If said enemy doesn’t die from self imploding, from there Amina will use normal attacks with her Tessen.

Amina has a few other plushies who have the same sentience as Eden. They serve as both comfort items and her bodyguards. She can transfer sentience into a new plushie when she wants, however it’s a very tedious process that she hasn’t quite mastered.

Only Amina could feel the plushie’s sentience, only she could communicate with them. She can relay messages from her plushies to other beings.

ABILITY 2: CLOUD SPACE

Cloud Space, unlike Stuffed Heart, is a retreat ability. It is activated under circumstances such as; being knocked unconscious, being near death or extremes mental stress. Amina’s hands will come together, almost in a prayer form. She’ll look up to the sky with whitened eyes and summon pastel-colored clouds. The clouds engulf her, taking her to another ‘realm’, leaving a small cloud charm on the ground. The charm can be taken by people Amina grants her utmost trust with (so far those people are Deluca, Ging and Cheadle.)

In Cloud Space, Amina is unable to contact people from the ‘outer’ realm, she’s also not able to be reached until she’s out of the realm.

The realm provides as, again, a retreat when Amina is in a vulnerable spot. It could take minutes upon hours, sometimes days, for Amina to emerge from Cloud Space. When she does so, wherever the charm has been taken, she will come back the same way she disappeared; emerging from the same clouds. Once she’s returned to our realm, she’ll be unconscious for a little bit. Even after regaining her conscious, Amina’s brain will remain loopy and foggy for a while. This could be a few minutes, hours, days. The longest that this brain fog has lasted was three days.

here’s some misc info!

- amina is autistic and has adhd + bpd + dpd!

- asides from being a hunter, amina works at a nightclub called ‘Borealis Mirage’, she’s a performer and an unofficial waitress :3

- she began working at the club before becoming a hunter! she always liked dancing as a stim, as well as going clubbing and listening to loud music, so that’s what ultimately made her work at Borealis

- amina is an age regressor !! ging is her primary caregiver!

- amina also has heterophobia in her eyes 🩷 /sil (heterochromia) she has one yellowish-gold eye (left) and a brown eye (right) !

if you’re interested in drawing her with ging or her other partners, or just her, i would be over the moon!!!!!

there’s definitely more i could add on abt her, but this post is long enough!! i hope u guys Enjoy my scrunkly pop :3 she is so very special to me and in a way helped me become more confident w myself IDK how to explain it >_< AMINA THE UNIVERSE!!

[ancestorsofjudah]

2 Kings 6: 24-33. "Gangster Governments."

The Torah and Tanakh warn against Sieges in Aram, the High Places, where the "sacred cows" of society dwell. Pro-Life is a good example. Pro-Life is illegal. By law, women are allowed to have full health care coverage. Yet we think this is wrong because of ways we have "burned incense in the High Places". We have fogged our minds and state houses up with nonsense and once again we are dealing with Pro-Life a topic that is long since been obsolete.

The same is true about gays and lesbians, drag shows, about Jews themselves. High Places are misty illusions and delusions we have about things but treat them with deadly importance. They are not.

Food, water, shelter, basic services, an excellent education, the ability to own property, and freedom from tyranny and violence these are the things belong in the High Places, the list of traditions and tenets we respect because they are respectable.

When societies place more importance on a drag queen than feeding the poor, climate change, all the bullets and missiles filying overhead, it is called a Famine because this implies there is not enough good sense going around to feed the brains.

Eventually things have to return to normal, and this requires firm study and implementation of the Torah. Implementation of the Torah in favor of the silliness of the stuff that can often by found On High is the job of the King of Israel.

Famine in Besieged Samaria

24 Some time later, Ben-Hadad king of Aram mobilized his entire army and marched up and laid siege to Samaria. 

25 There was a great famine in the city; the siege lasted so long that a donkey’s head sold for eighty shekels[a] of silver, and a quarter of a cab[b] of seed pods[c] for five shekels.[d]

26 As the king of Israel was passing by on the wall, a woman cried to him, “Help me, my lord the king!”

27 The king replied, “If the Lord does not help you, where can I get help for you? From the threshing floor? From the winepress?” 28 Then he asked her, “What’s the matter?”

She answered, “This woman said to me, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him today, and tomorrow we’ll eat my son.’ 

29 So we cooked my son and ate him. The next day I said to her, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him,’ but she had hidden him.”

30 When the king heard the woman’s words, he tore his robes. As he went along the wall, the people looked, and they saw that, under his robes, he had sackcloth on his body. 

31 He said, “May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if the head of Elisha son of Shaphat remains on his shoulders today!”

32 Now Elisha was sitting in his house, and the elders were sitting with him. The king sent a messenger ahead, but before he arrived, Elisha said to the elders, “Don’t you see how this murderer is sending someone to cut off my head? Look, when the messenger comes, shut the door and hold it shut against him. Is not the sound of his master’s footsteps behind him?” 

33 While he was still talking to them, the messenger came down to him. The king said, “This disaster is from the Lord. Why should I wait for the Lord any longer?”

The famine which resulted from an uprising in the Kingdom turns population ravenous for Mashiach. As a result, the price of a Donkey's Head, the symbol of messianic tendencies undergoes dramatic inflation.

Things are so bad, a woman, which represents the Temple, says to the King she wants him to give the people his son, the Prince, to eat.

Donkeys and Princes are not food, they are that which feeds us. The eating of a donkey or Prince like they are bread violates the law. All of this is wrong.

In the Jewish religion, the donkey is not a kosher animal. In the Zohar, it is considered avi avot hatuma i.e. an ultimate impure animal, and doubly "impure", as it is both non-ruminant and non-cloven hoofed.

Donkeys are 860, חואֶפֶס‎‎, huafes, "he who is coming to bring peace." We only slaughter animals that reveal our humanity to us upon their demise. We put them behind us. the Donkey's head is ahead of us.

To eat a donkey or the Prince at the behest of the woman means it is time for Mashiach as something essential about the Jewishness of the world is lacking:

"G–d demands that a Jewish home – every Jewish home – should have a Jewish character, not only on Shabbat and the holidays, but also on the ordinary weekdays and in “weekday” matters. It must be a Jewish home in every respect.

What makes a Jewish household different from a non-Jewish household is that it is conducted in all its details according to the directives of the Torah. Hence the home becomes an abode for G–d’s Presence, a home for G–dliness, one of which G–d says, “Make Me a sanctuary, and I shall dwell among them.” (Exodus 25:5)."

But what caused the uproar and what does this section say about the relationship between controversey in the Temple, the Polity and the Throneroom? The Gematria will explain:

v. 24: King Ben Hadad, a "son of the Thunder" [a Jew] got a buzz in his beehive and marched his entire army to Samaria, the Tower of the Guard.

Armies are conscripts, they represent duties. We are in the army when we force ourselves to stop at a stop sign, obey the Decrees, etc.

The Value in Gematria is: 3303, גגאֶפֶסג‎‎‎, gagaphesag, "a gathering of on the roof, to breathe in and discuss the Tree." [Adam and Eve's, of course.]

v. 25: We know what the donkey's head is, but each of the elements of the price on his head have separate Gematria:

eighty shekels of silver=the Value is 1717, אז‎אז‎‎, "so then"

a quarter of a cab of seed pods=964, טוד‎ , todd, "to be surrounded by mandrake, a man who is loving."

five shekels=950, טהאֶפֶס, tahoefs, "suck on the nipple and provide the elemental instruction for the intellect, like feeding a clean bird."

The Value in Gematria is: 7801, זחאֶפֶסא‎ , zahapesa, "the Passover will begin."

v. 26: a king who walks the Wall is standing on the line between what is physical and ethereal, what is ethical and immoral and most importantly what is Jewish and non-Jewish. Our Aramaic Ben Hadad is obviously quite concerned about this.

The Value in Gematria is: 5576, ההזו‎, "this one" = echad.

In Hinduism, we say God is One, without a second. Jews say He is One, plus the rest.

"In resolution, it is explained that this is precisely the intent. G‑d’s singular oneness is taken for granted. Were this not to be true were He a composite of different entities He could not be G‑d.6 What is unique in the description of Him as one is that this material world that appears to exist in its own right, as a separate and distinct entity, is one with Him."

v. 27-28a: The Threshing Floor is where grain is hulled. This specifically refers to the moment a Crown is born, where evil ends and justice takes place because the appropriate authority is named.

The Wine Press, gath, is the Elixir of this justice which is consumed when for some strange reason everyone in the world starts getting along.

The Value in Gematria is: 8055, ח‎אֶפֶסה‎ה‎, "it's empty". An empty threshing floor and winepress are the problem- the society mentioned has no sense of duty nor justice and is therefore being deprived of righteousness and all the blessings of God Plus One.

The son is consumed, cutting off the Royal Line as during the Passover. The King expects the the people to do the same, but they hide their sons, their way of insisting the next generation will be free:

v. 28b-29: The Value in Gematria is: 15191, אה‎‎אטא‎ ‎, "Ah, I will"= "I will become."

The Hebrew words for "I will be" are ehyeh, which means "I will act on My Desires" and for God this means He Who Causes That-Which-Is To Be & He Who Causes That-Which-Can't-Be To FallHouse Of Information Technology, House Of The Alphabet, House Of The Great Human Library."

-> this dovetails nicely with my comments that we are stowing the wrong ideals above the rafters of our religions and politics. God has more than often stated how He really wants us to live in the Torah and the Role He wants to play. And nothing we are doing resembles any of it.

v. 30-31: Elisha Son of Shaphat, "is a government born of rule of law."

To tear one's clothes and reveal sackcloth means to separate oneself from the cause of trouble, put the past into the fire, turn it to ash and carry them forth in sackcloth, a state of regret, so one does not forget.

The Value in Gematria is: 11866, יאח‎וו‎ ‎Yahweh. Yhwh, Yaweh, "beatification in God" has a cohort, nwh, naweh, that is more pertinent here:

"Dictionaries list three separate roots נוה (nwh), but on closer scrutiny these roots blend together in a fundamental meaning of government, and the beauty and eminence that follows from a country that is properly governed — as opposed to a country that is plagued by anarchy and gangs and gangster governments."

v. 32: The Value in Gematria is 11461, יאדוא‎‎, yadua, "to know of the power of knowledge through the human hand."

The Elders penned a message using Angelic Script and sent it to the Prophet. What does it say? "Cut your hair", not "we are going to cut off your head."

This means the tradition of cutting the hair to reveal the sidelocks, the ears, must be observed according to a political ordinance.

v. 33: The Value in Gematria is 9506, טהאֶפֶסו, thafesu‎‎, "you shall observe the Torah Festival" presumably this means Shavuot. "and you shall choose to be free."

"It's not clear where this word comes from but anyone with a poetic slant might notice that it looks suspiciously like an outgrowth of the second personal pronoun συ (su) or σοι (soi), meaning you.

Whether that notice has any substance to it is for all to guess at, but it would correspond with the function of the English language that relates some indefinite "other guy" to the word body: anybody, somebody.

Note also that the verb σωζω (sozo), to save, comes from the adjective σως (sos), meaning safe, whereas the word σος (sos) is the possessive adjective of the second person plural: yours, which indeed derives from the second personal pronoun συ (su). In fact, the Greek σω- root yields quite an array of words that have to do with wholeness.

Another so- word of unclear pedigree describes the familiar concept of σοφια (sophia), commonly translated with "wisdom". Those at a loss for wisdom will confuse it with the pursuit of knowledge or perhaps even that of truth, but those in command of it know that sophia pursues convention: sophia explores ways to accomplish agreement between parties without demanding that they compromise their integrity or curb their concerns.

This obviously goes hand in hand with understanding the laws of nature, which in turn starts with respect for the Creator (ROMANS 1:20, Proverbs 9:10).

Better yet: natural law is not at all alike human law; it's not a set of rules that is established somewhere separate from the world it is to govern, but much rather a statistical expression of the behavior that all separate elements in their freedom "chose" to pursue.

Natural law, quite literally, is most alike language, that naturally forms from the cooling chaos of wild interactions and collisions, into a system of rules that folks may reject at will or accept at will.

Those who reject the rules of language will stay mute, misunderstood and bound by darkness. Those who accept the rules of language will achieve freedom-of-speech, a union of minds and true spirituality."

So the problem was and is freedom of speech, which was absent due to a fundamental flaw in how we perceive Religion. Gangster governments, propped up by troublemaking tarts and their pizza faced, fat husbands are the cause of this.

The Melachim says people need to use their heads. Governments like this cannot be permitted to survive.

[ablednt]

Also it's so frustrating to see people sorted into just "low support needs" and "high support needs" because there are so many things measured.

Like if communicating over text I'm definitely low support, I have very little problem typing things out and advocating for myself over text. But verbally speaking it's a gamble what I'll be able to get out at all and so situations where I'm required to talk out loud put me at a huge disadvantage. I very much need to utilize text based services and stuff like TTS in situations where I am needed to accurately describe my health and my needs but I'm not able to use these things because abled people don't like anyone using those things so that's a fight I cannot do myself and no one is currently able to advocate for me, so my needs are moderate and highly conditional.

My needs are fairly high when it comes to supporting myself, due to physical disability. I can't cook for myself, keep a job, transport myself to doctors appointments, and I need assistance and medication to allow me to do basic tasks like getting up to go use the bathroom. This is something that ableds largely ignore because they see me as lazy, they compare me to others with the disability then lash out at me for not measuring up to that level of function.

Due to brain fog (which I always pronounce as "brain frog" on accident making myself look ridiculous) and melaise and dissociation it's difficult for me to process what's going on and what people are saying and it's a case where my needs are more moderate, I may need to ask a lot of questions or have a conversation scripted for me or to be given extra clear and concise instructions to accomplish simple tasks that are expected of me. I am treated with hostility for that because it doesn't matter what other strengths or needs I have people don't like accommodating anyone with these needs.

This goes on indefinitely everyone's level of function is going to vary and attempting to sprt someone into low or high whilst generalizing every category is going to leave a lot of outliers who fall in between. We could instead be focusing on specific needs and applying that to anyone who has these needs.

It's like saying "people with uteruses" instead of "people who need abortions" or "amab people" rather than "people affected by transmisogyny "

Ultimately the words used aren't what's important but you'll find it's a lot easier to grapple with the fact everyones lives are nuanced when you address people by their specific needs/experiences rather than sort everyone into little categories.

[melto]

like not to sound totally insane or anything but i think that it means something in the context of pom and chanon that ohm’s potential is the first explored in the series, followed by namtaan’s which brings chanon’s first appearance...maybe it’s because i am an ohm the gifted stan first human second but like, his potential stemming from his forgetfulness and it being connected to loss throughout and then having the conflict be with a past friend that he holds so much resentment for that it’s hard for him to see past it because of how overwhelming it is but ultimately feeling devastated and guilty over what he’s done in the end once he finally is able to and remembering the good that person brought to his life as well which allows him to “fix” the issue between them (a bit of an oversimplification imo but it’s not abt that rn) feels like a much lighter and speed ran version of things that transpired between pom and chanon. while ohm’s resentment isn’t misplaced the way chanon’s is (and not necessarily his fault as supot is the reason chanon redirected his anger at pom. also will say that even though ohm’s anger isn’t misplaced, the majority of folk’s towards ohm is due to it actually being frustration with the unfair school system), it still follows the same sort of basic path when you break it down.

my brain has managed to connect this part of ep 2

pang: now you’ve lost your friend and you couldn’t care less. accept it, you never care for anything! ohm: fine! i’m a screw up. i hate him. i don’t want him to come back. i want him gone forever. having a friend like him makes my life worse. why would i want him to come back? pang: if you really hated him, you wouldn’t call him a friend. people have a good side and a bad side. folk might be heavier on the bad side. but you said you used to be friends. he must have had something good that you may have forgotten. try and think about it. [flashback + ohm remembering] ohm: folk, i’m sorry! i won’t forget anymore. can you hear me? come back, i’m sorry. i’m sorry. folk! [folk is brought back]

and this part from tgg ep 10

pang: why did you do that? i know you’re mad at mr pom, but you chose to do that to get back at him? have you forgotten who are real enemy is? you used to fight for what’s right. what happened? chanon: i gave up everything for what’s right, but that was a long time ago. so long that i’m not even sure what’s right anymore. but one thing I see clearly and am sure about is that i’ve been waiting for this chance for so long, a change to take revenge on my best friend, like what he did to me. [supot reveals how he used chanon in his plan, followed by pom using his potential to help pang escape despite being injected with the virus] chanon: hey pom! you know the harder you use your potential, the quicker the virus spreads. [pom continues to use his potential until pang is out of the room]

which may seem like i’m reaching but it does make a lot of sense in my head. both, albeit in different ways, are being challenged by pang to which they respond by voicing their hatred for the other (both still referring to the other as a friend and ohm outright crying while chanon seems like he’s on the verge at the end of his response). with ohm, since not only are they peers but it is also not a literal life threatening situation for pang himself, he’s able to guide ohm into the process of clearing the resentment by recalling what was good about folk. with chanon, not only does the fog of supot’s influence start to clear, but he witnesses something he had loved about pom, something that brings him back to when he’d said things like “i’m laughing because i envy your students”, learns that pom isn’t the same cowardly teenager which leads him to the rooftop scene where he drops the “but i feel bad” and had intended on killing himself in response to his resulting guilt.

and then with ohm’s presentation on his potential in that episode, ending it with him saying “i found out that things do not disappear, they’ve just gone missing from our hearts. everything fades away as time goes by, but if you recognize its value, you will bring it back every time. if you don’t think it’s important, you can’t see it even if it’s right in front of you.” well. it just summarizes the outcome, as it is literally ohm talking about the experience he had and as i just sat here connecting that with chanon (which again, ohm’s is a very watered down version). but actually, with ohm saying this, i think it ultimately goes with pom more than chanon, especially considering the following episode where namtaan looks into chanon.

pom is the one who initially told ohm that the things he made disappear were not lost forever (and warned him about how his potential could also harm someone, which is a very weak link to how pom’s did end up hurting people, himself and chanon included. which is not really here nor there since pom doesn’t remember any of this at the time so it’s really just a normal type of teacher warning) and he did like. just kinda have a look on his face while ohm was wrapping up his presentation. he is not carrying resentment or the right level of fondness for chanon because chanon is essentially just some guy to him due to the memory erasure. he encourages namtaan to learn more about him, helped her do so despite knowing her potential because chanon is such a nonissue in his mind, he has no reason to stop her.

chanon’s presence is missing from pom’s heart despite it being right in front of him. the pen is always on him, the box of chanon’s things, the room where it happened miraculously being left like exactly the same as before, the red folder ending up in his hands and even just normal files and images of chanon. things were easy enough for pang and wave to put together (though pom was absolutely being kept on a much tighter leash that probably prevented him from even thinking twice about connecting dots on his own). pom, like chanon and ohm, was lead to remembering by pang as well, the main difference being the lack of resentment. the reoccurring mention of chanon, which probably hasn’t happened in years, the information being laid out in front of him and pang’s resemblance to chanon got the ball rolling. pieces of his memory start to return to him because even if he can’t fully figure out why he’s recognizing that there is more “value” to chanon than just an old classmate he had been friends with that ultimately dropped out. and then pang just uses his potential to make pom fully bring back his memories, both of how much chanon meant to him (”but the one who got me through it was chanon” please shut up. but it is also in a similar vein of ohm remembering how folk was his friend when he had no one and tried to look out for him, which, on insanely different levels, is what chanon was doing with the edited files) and his guilt (over the experiment, over chanon) that lead him to wipe his memories (his escape from those feelings that left him even more helpless at supot’s hands vs chanon’s thought of escape through death that left him essentially the same...not abt that rn though). and again, unlike ohm and chanon, there is a lack of resentment as the betrayal is caused by fear rather than something to be read as reaction to something intentionally malicious, imo. but then pom is stuck at guilt with no resolution. he remembers everything and learns the truth too late and it leaves him knowingly miserable and trapped in his situation, which is what stems his misplaced resentment for chanon.

all three are cases of fondness being misplaced and found again feat. resentment and guilt somewhere along the line. ohm going through this right before chanon and the notion that something is missing in regards to him and pom being introduced just feels like it’s Something. there is a high chance that i am just out of my damn mind standing at a corkboard because i think ohm rules.

[egcdeath]

aunt flo

summary: your monthly friend decides to visit you while staying over at steve’s.

word count: 1.5k

pairing: steve rogers x reader 

warnings: periods (so blood as well), awkward situations

a/n: this is definitely inspired by the *ahem* cycle that is currently plaguing me. it also hasn’t been thoroughly edited as this was the first time in a while that i’d written something, and i wanted to share it with you all as soon as possible! i hope you enjoy <3 

Sleeping over at Steve’s apartment was never a bad experience for you. He seemed to always be completely prepared for what the night would entail, whether it be a plethora of snacks, or your favorite scent of lotion.

However, when you woke up in what felt like a pool of your own blood, saying you were alarmed was a bit of an understatement. You mentally cursed at yourself for not realizing ahead of time that your cycle was set to start any time that week, and the fact that you’d bled all over your boyfriends sheets.

You attempted to slip out of Steve’s grasp and out of bed to assess the damage done in both your underwear, and on the bed. Once you were finally standing on the floor and gawking at the red spot in bed, you rubbed your forehead exasperatedly. While it wasn’t as bad as you’d expected, it certainly wasn’t good. The quarter sized blood stain seemed to be glaring back to you, and you decided to glare back at it before heading into the en-suite.

Before plopping yourself down on the toilet, you searched through cupboard upon cupboard for some sort of period product. Behind the mirror: aftershave, Advil, bandaids, a random bar of soap, nothing you could use. Under the sink: Epsom salt, your favorite body wash, an extra bottle of shampoo, but not a tampon in sight. Above the toilet: a few rolls of toilet paper, yet nothing even resembling a pad.

Seeing as Steve seemed pretty prepared for anything related to you, you were more than a bit surprised that he hadn’t considered that you were a menstruating human. You huffed as you sat down on the toilet, then assessed the damage control you’d need to do. First and foremost, you needed something to protect the rest of Steve’s apartment from your uterine lining. After you figured that out, you desperately needed to get that stain out of your boyfriend's sheets before he’d notice.

Maybe you could order some pads from a grocery store to his apartment. That seemed like a safe bet, but Steve would probably become concerned if he realized you’d been in the bathroom for 45 minutes. Perhaps you could just leave without a word to Steve. But that raises the issue of a random blood stain, and possibly, an upset Steve.

“Think, Y/N, think,” you muttered to yourself. You attempted to brainstorm more options for yourself, but ultimately ended up dozing off, and waking up to the soft rapping against the bathroom door, along with the sound of Steve’s voice.

“Sweetheart, everything okay in there? You’ve been in there for a while, and I saw some blood on the bed. Did you hurt yourself?”

You mentally cursed at yourself, at least now you’d only have to worry about obtaining a pad, and not addressing the mess on the bed.

“Oh yeah, I’m completely fine. Actually, I should probably head home,” you attempted to sound convincing, but didn’t exactly hit the mark.

“Are you sure? I thought we were gonna get brunch together this morning.”

You could’ve sworn you heard the frown in Steve’s voice. “Oh, uh, I’m not super hungry right now.”

“Okay, that’s fine. But about that blood, what happened? Are you alright?” He questioned.

“I’m fine, Steve.”

“Did the headboard scratch you? Did I sleep fight you or something? Did you hit your leg on the nightstand again?”

“Jesus Steve,” you scoffed a bit at the overload of questions. “I just started my period. And you have nothing I can use here, so I need to go home. That’s why there’s blood in your bed, and that’s why I’ve been in here all morning.”

“Doll, you should’ve told me! I’ll go get you something, okay?” He opened the door just a crack, and blew you a kiss. “Just stay right where you are. I’ll be back quicker than you can say period. There’s medicine behind the mirror, and I can grab you my heating pad before I go. Maybe taking a shower would help t-“

“Steve,” you giggled. “That’s plenty. Now go get my shit so I can stop bleeding all over the place.”

“Got it. I love you,” he smiled warmly at you before closing the door softly, and heading out.

—

Steve basically sprinted to his nearest convenience store, getting lost in the feminine hygiene section, then finding himself completely at loss with what he was supposed to buy. There were just too many options. He considered calling you to ask what you need, but he didn’t want to bother you more than necessary. Plus, you could be standing in the shower right now, and what if you heard your phone ringing, tried to get out of the shower to answer, and slipped? The thought of you hurting yourself made Steve shudder.

He ended up settling on three different varieties of pads and tampons. If you didn’t need them, he could always donate them to a local shelter. He then stopped by the candy aisle to grab you some dark chocolates (he’d heard in passing that it was good for menstruating women), along with a package of panties that looked like they could be your size, before hopping in line at a register.

In the midst of Steve’s menstruation mania, he failed to notice a random customer snapping a photo of him with the over abundance of women’s hygiene products. He was much more busy with checking out and getting back to you as fast as humanly possible.

——

Once Steve made it back to his apartment, he found you still in the bathroom, surrounded by a light mist of fog from the shower, and clad in an oversized sweatshirt with a faded SHIELD logo.

“I didn’t know what to get you, so I got you everything,” Steve blushed at his own unpreparedness, then passed you the bags of period products. “I’m gonna go change the sheets. When you’re ready, just meet me in bed, okay?” He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before leaving the bathroom, letting you handle your business.

——

A breakfast-in-bed and movie marathon later, you were still cuddled up in Steve’s bed, his massive body giving you an extra level of warmth that was soothing your cramps like nothing you’d ever witnessed before. You were probably more comfortable than you’d ever been. Except for the incessant vibrating of your phone on the bedside table.

You’d finally reached out for it, and were pretty shocked to see all of the messages you’d received. You opened the first message from one of your closest friends, and your eyebrows raised as you read it.

LMAO read this right now bitch

enews.com/caps-pad-problem

Curiosity got the best of you, so you opened up the article.

#Padgate?

If you've been anywhere on the internet in the last few  hours, you’ve certainly seen the word “padgate” trending. The reason why is more interesting than you’d think.

Early this morning, Captain America, America’s sweetheart was spotted buying out the entirety of the feminine hygiene section of his local convenience store.

From this, a huge question rises. Is he donating? There’s certainly enough pads and tampons to keep an army of women satisfied for a year. Is he seeing someone? She must be some lucky gal.  Either way, when we thought this man couldn’t get any more lovable- he did!

You blushed while reading the article, not exactly sure how to feel. After letting it simmer in your brain for a second, you began to giggle, deciding that more than anything, it was pretty damn funny. You texted a quick message back to your friend who’d sent the article, then finally began to speak to Steve, who was giving you a bit of a confused look at your giggling.

“Steve, you goof. Someone took a picture of you buying all of that period stuff, and now the internet has gone wild.”

“What? Let me see,” he reached for your phone, and you gladly passed it to him. He skimmed over the article, then furrowed his brows. “Tony and the PR department are never going to let me live this down,” he groaned.

“Don’t be so dramatic, maybe something good will come out of this!” You chided, giving him a mischievous grin.

——

As it turns out, the word good is subjective.

It’d been about a month post-padgate, and you’d been strolling through the store with Steve, working on getting your groceries for the week.

As you entered the wellness aisle, you looked at the shelves containing menstrual products, knowing that you needed to restock sooner than later.

When you first saw what you saw, you had to do a complete double take. Your eyes must’ve been deceiving you.

A Tampax box stared back at you, a logo with a shield containing a star clearly defined on the box, along with the text ‘Captain America approved!’

“No way,” you actually laughed out loud at the sight. “Steve!” you grabbed onto his sleeve, and pulled him in the direction of the box so he could see what you were seeing.

“No way!” He reprised. “Oh my God. I’m really never gonna live this down, am I?”

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I read your answer about vampire mates and my usual emo over Marcus is reaching dangerous levels. My question, basically, is how he might recover (please let's assume he can do that)? What do you think it would take to penetrate the BSOD fog after all this time? (Oh, and if answering this would spoil some aspect of Painting Red Madonnas, by all means just disregard it)

Well, the short answer is just read “Painting Red Madonnas”, as that’s ultimately where this story is headed.

Otherwise, so as not to spoil too much but give a little more of a response...

I will preface that this will be a long and difficult road for him. I think, in part, his vampire brain is working against him as that feeling of overwhelming grief will never fade for him. He will always be walking around in shock over Didyme’s death, trapped in that immediate aftermath fog.

Unless, of course, something shifts.

I think Marcus needs a few things to get him out of his thousand year slump.

One, he needs something to do. And no, the Volturi isn’t enough for this. Aro and Caius, however much they want him involved, have adapted to his lack of presence and he knows it. Sure, once in a while Marcus will shove a hand at Aro and grunt, but he doesn’t actually have to do much.

I think Aro tries very hard to get him involved, keep him engaged, but it’s not enough.

So, Marcus needs a task that only he can do, that for whatever reason he feels he’s obligated to do, and he can’t just go through the motions. It doesn’t have to be big, it doesn’t have to be important, it can be something as small as... say... teaching a dumb untalented American figure drawing.

Two, he needs to be needed. He is needed right now by the Volturi, wanted as well, and I think that’s what has kept him around so very long. Yes, Chelsea probably helped his priorities but she can’t make something from nothing. Marcus knows Aro still needs him, therefore, Marcus is still here. 

It doesn’t, again, have to be anything particularly huge but someone in a genuine manner has to need him and has to need him to function on some human level. A level where he has to be able to confront problems, solve them, and interact with the world. Such as, say, impersonating a professor to a dumb untalented American art student.

Three, if the above two occur I think he has to be reminded about the small things in life. That there are little bits of joy, happiness, and wonder all around us, the things we forget when the black hole feels like it’s closing in. Nothing too huge or too grand, but just the little things in life. Like sunsets, everyone likes sunsets.

And yeah, I think if you get enough of this, over enough time, then Marcus might come back to life.

That said, I think the circumstances to produce this would be very rare, which is why it never happened in canon.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Bittersweet chocolates and snow capped mountains

I didn’t really think much of it before but chocolate and cold snowy mountains kinda go well together. I can’t quite explain it- the best I can say is that it’s like warm and cold, something opposite but complimentary. Maybe that’s why Suncour Mountains is well known for its chocolate treats - aside from it being artisan and stuff.

Lately my state of mind has been feeling foggy for some reason. It’s just one of those weird moods where you know that you have shit to get done but for some fucking reason you just can’t seem to get up and do it. Ah yes, the good old executive dysfunction my be-loathed. Seriously, what’s the secret to just doing things? Why is my brain wired in such a way to shut down at inconvenient times and make things harder for me?

Feeling in need of something to break through the fog, I accepted Emma’s invitation to go and visit the snow capped mountains of Suncour and treat ourselves to their fancy chocolate. Originally it was just Emma, Cheyenne, Daisy Jane, and I, then we ran into some familiar faces.

It was a nice surprise to see Sophea again along with Raiden and Qingmei. Joining them are Shinobu and Michi, two friends who also happen to be the newest recruits of Connie’s team. Sophea’s well acquainted with the two as she served as a mentor for the two during their college days. They also have connections to Hanako - Shinobu’s a close friend and Michi’s not only a distant cousin, he’s also a subordinate of hers.

As it turns out, our hotel rooms are right next to each other. And like with us, this trip was kinda spontaneous as the group needed a break. Sophea, of course, was here mainly for business, but set aside some vacations days, which was why she invited Shinobu and Michi. Though they both ultimately decided not to pursue law, they both have substantial experience, which was why Sophea wanted to bring them.

Shinobu has an active certificate that she says she wants to keep around in case something pops up, which sounds practical to me. I know some people who have licenses or certificates they worked hard for but ultimately end up not pursuing, so rather than let the effort go to waste they keep it active just so they’d have something. I honestly don’t know why that annoys some people - Shinobu has a lot to say on that as she’s pretty much a jack of all trades kind of person - like what’s wrong with that? Just because you worked hard on something only to find out later on that it’s not for you doesn’t mean that effort’s completely wasted. Not to mention that there’s nothing wrong with not getting things figured out right away. You’re allowed to change and be open to other options.

I swear, it seems like some people would rather you’d stifle yourself even if it makes you unhappy. It’s basically you’ve made your bed now lie in it and don’t ever think about getting out and changing things. I honestly don’t understand that all or nothing mindset that some have.

It’s no wonder Emma and Shinobu hit if off immediately, especially when it comes to unsupportive family members who feel the need to tear down everything they do. Emma’s father’s family in particular are the kind of people I absolutely do not trust so there’s a reason why Emma wants nothing to do with them. In short they’re absurdly rich, meaning all they care about is status and money. Fortunately she’s at the point where they don’t bother her anymore so their attempts to bring her down are just funny and pathetic.

Recently, someone has been trying accuse Emma of running a cult, which is just as ridiculous as it sounds. According to her, it’s the same person who “reported” her to her brother when she liked a meme about being neurodivergent. Somehow, a while back, someone from her father’s family found out about Emma having ADHD, so a lot of those relatives have tried to use that against her - which is exactly the reason why she did not want them to know.

It’s a good thing she’s distanced herself far enough that they can’t harm her. I’m serious when I say her father’s side of the family are legit dangerous - Emma’s not the type to exaggerate. Her brother especially is the kind of person I could somehow immediately tell that he’s not trustworthy, like he will sell me out and tear me apart just because he can. And I’m not kidding, he has made it clear without outright saying that he hates me because he thinks I’m inferior, which is how he feels about all of Emma’s friends so I’m not a special case. It really baffles me how he and Emma are related considering she’s friendly and compassionate while he’s toxic and opportunistic.

I think Emma lucked out by the fact that her father is her mother’s second husband. She has said that she gets along with her mom okay, as in they’re not close but she can trust her to some extent. The only immediate family she wholeheartedly trusts is her older half brother, and he’s the one who managed to get her away. Had it not been for him, Emma wouldn’t have been able to live her life on her own terms as an artist and voice actress.

Like Emma, Shinobu and Michi have also detached themselves from family for various reasons. Shinobu says the reason why she went to college overseas was to get away from her parents. They mean well, she says, but they are stuck in their old ways. At this point they still don’t approve of her being a free spirit but at the same time she’s a capable adult so they couldn’t stop her even if they wanted to.

Sophea, Connie, and Hanako have spoken highly of Shinobu in the past. They were in no way exaggerating when they say that she has done it all. She’s the kind of person who knows a bit of pretty much everything - it’s amazing! She’s got a bunch of certificates and licenses - most which have come in handy for various situations - so at least she’s putting her experiences to good use. Though Shinobu tends to downplay herself, she does take pride in being able to step out of her comfort zone and try all kinds of different things. The path she chose isn’t easy but she made it work and I’m happy for her.

Michi, like Hanako, has a complicated relationship with his family. He’s her distant cousin through his father’s side and her mother’s side. It was mentioned that he doesn’t get along well with his father, which was why he left home and lived overseas for a while before returning to Sango.

In fact, part of the reason why he tagged along with Sophea kinda had to do with an unpleasant encounter with his old man. He says it’s not as bad as it sounds but basically they got into an argument and his father ended up causing a scene, forcing Hanako and a couple friends to intervene when things got way out of hand. For context, Michi’s family is well experienced and known in sword fighting and martial arts. Just to be safe in case his father tries to do something foolish aka retaliate, Hanako suggested that Michi lay low by skipping town for a while. It was by chance that Sophea called him and Shinobu up so the timing worked out perfectly.

Michi had studied law for a time but unlike Shinobu he didn’t graduate as he decided to drop out to pursue other ventures. So he branched out and eventually became a detective. He said he started out as a private investigator but apparently the authorities got tired of running into trouble - aka him - so Hanako suggested that he join them. Still, even after landing a reputable position in law enforcement, Michi still does his own thing, much to his superiors’s annoyance. The only reason why they ultimately let him be is because he’s good at being a detective.

He’s definitely the kind of person who sticks to his ideals and acts on them no matter what, similar to Hanako. Compared to her, Michi is a lot more carefree, mischievous, and relaxed. It’s like they’re exact opposites, the only thing they have in common is that they have strong principles and a sense of justice. He admits that they don’t always get along well because of how different they are but at the same time they kinda get each other as they’re outsiders of their own families. Shinobu says Hanako’s relationship with Michi is similar to that of her older sister’s - constantly nagging and not always seeing eye to eye, but they mean well.

Sophea says it’s been a couple years since she, Shinobu, and Michi last hung out together. She and Shinobu actually reunited unexpectedly a while back by chance when Connie and Pai were resuming their investigation of the mines. Sophea was at the mines investigating something she found in an old will while Shinobu and her friend stumbled in by mistake. Shinobu’s friend ended up causing a lot of trouble, forcing Sophea’s friend from the ministry of civil affairs to step in. Connie and Pai just happened to be there and things suddenly took a downhill turn when an explosion trapped everyone underground. Things happened and so the group was lucky to make it out alive.

From what I’ve been hearing about the mines, there must be something so important down there that Connie keeps risking their life to keep investigating for. All they’ve said so far is that it’s an intriguing lead that’s been pushing their journey forward. With Sophea saying that the mines are an unusual place because of events that happened centuries ago, I can see why Connie would want to look further into it. Raiden says she gets it too but adds that Connie’s been living on the edge since getting access to the mines. She’s definitely speaking from experience.

Shinobu and Michi haven’t known Connie for too long but they find them fascinating. In fact, not too long after the incident in the mines Sophea’s friend from the ministry offered her assistance to Connie. According to Sophea, she, like Connie, have taken an interest in the mines for personal reasons, so she speculates that’s part of the reason why they’re working together. She sounds like an interesting person so I’m looking forward to meeting her one day.

Michi was kinda disappointed that he missed out on all the fun in the mines. The others reassured him that not even a genius like him would be able to wrap his head around the strange and chaotic nature of the place, so if anything, he dodged a bullet. From how it sounds, it was an adventure, but not something you’d want to relive. That being said, Michi is glad that he met Connie under better circumstances, as in not a life or death kind of situation. He had been wanting to meet Connie for some time but for whatever reason Hanako wouldn’t introduce him to them so it was purely by chance they ran into each other and he roped them into his investigation.

Sophea, Shinobu, and Michi were the first to get here. The next day, they ran into Raiden and Qingmei, and later us. We all didn’t really have an itinerary set so it makes sense for us to just hang out together and explore the mountains.

The chocolates were very well worth the hype! There’s a bunch of villages around the mountains, many which have chocolate shops that have been around for generations. I like chocolate but I don’t usually gravitate towards it because it can be too rich and sweet for me. As for the chocolates I’ve tried so far, they’re some of the best I’ve ever had! The best way I can describe it is that they’re kinda like Swiss chocolates, but a little more on the bittersweet side.

Cheyenne happens to have a friend whose family owns a chocolate shop and he helps out when he’s not busy with a show. So she introduced us to him and he gave us a quick tour of the area. A lot of the places we visited were suggested by him since he’s from here and knows the mountains well.

When we weren’t trying out chocolates we were just enjoying the mountain scenery. I’m making good progress on the ballerina wrap sweater so it’s been nice knitting in the great outdoors. I actually had to take a break from knitting for a while because I got way too into it that my right wrist started hurting. The rest was definitely worth it and now I’m almost done with the main body. After that will be the i-cord edging, which is something I’ve never done before so that’s gonna be interesting.

Now that I’ve been working on the project for a while, I can say that it’s been fun. I think the difficulty level is just right for me, someone who’s been knitting for a long time but doesn’t have too much experience with clothes. There’s some new techniques I’ve never done before - raglan being one of them, i-cord edging will be another - but it’s nothing too complicated. I had thought raglan was intimidating until I actually did it and as long as you know how to make proper increases, that’s all there is to it. Hopefully the i-cord edge won’t be too hard once I get the hang of that too.

Overall, it’s been a pretty chill vacation consisting of chocolates, sightseeing, and just having a good time.