#some very thought-provoking discussions coming from that post! ty gyns

[girlboss-enthusiast]

@labsbian gave me permission to post this publicly, and a couple other people have asked similar things. It's related to this post about not identifying as a radical feminist anymore. For anyone reading this, please keep in mind that I'm autistic and have brain fog, and ask for clarification instead of assuming bad faith. My thoughts on this are evolving as we discuss it, too.

First off, I do consider myself aligned with radical feminism. I may not call myself a radical feminist because I truly don't think I adhere to enough of the basic tenets to call myself one, but In conversation, I'll say something like "I'm pretty much a radfem," or "I agree with radical feminists on this topic." I'm not rejecting the concept of or affiliation with radical feminism; my post relates more to online communities like radblr than irl activism, where mostly no one cares about your specific label so long as you're helping (at least in my experience).

Now, there are two separate answers for me to give here. The first is about my personal beliefs and where they do and don't clash with radical feminism. The second is a broader reflection on radical feminism as a viable political movement. I'm going to address the second part first. This gets very long, as a warning!

I've done a lot of reading on radical feminism and spoken to many women who are dedicated radical feminists, and in my opinion, female separatism is the ultimate goal of radical feminism. It's the most thorough way of challenging patriarchy at its root. If you (general you) are a radfem who disagrees with this, I get it; everyone will have a slightly different interpretation of what radical feminism is. But IMO, if you look at the stats and theory, and believe that the personal is political, separatism is the most logical conclusion to patriarchy.

But the problem is that many (most?) women aren't going to become separatists. Lots of them are going to be super resistant just to interrogating how misogyny infiltrates their personal lives, even as they acknowledge structural sexism - either because they don't want to really think about the horror of it, or they dislike the concept of the personal being political, or they just don't think it's that deep. Some women will interrogate the misogyny in their lives and choose to have relationships with men, either romantically or platonically. Is it the wisest choice? Often not. Is it going to be the most common one? Yeah, I think so. (For transparency, that is the choice I've made, and yes, I've thought about it a lot.) Ultimately, I think that the choice to keep males in your life is not compatible with radical feminism.

There is a gap between radfem theory and practice, and the opinions and beliefs of many women. I truly cannot see a widespread 6B4T movement happening in the USA in my lifetime. (I'm focusing on the US bc that's where I live, and I don't know enough about other places' feminism to make sweeping statements.) I think it's vitally important to bridge that gap. Yet it seems like most radfems online see the gap as insurmountable, or not worth focusing on. I really, really disagree with that. I think it's counterproductive to the advancement of women's rights and status in the world. That doesn't mean I think the "more radical" feminist goals on the radfem side of the gap aren't worth pursuing and supporting. I just don't think they're going to cause material change for the majority of women, not yet. I personally would prefer to put my energies toward working with libfems, choicefems, normie women, and male allies to reduce harm toward all women and find compromises between radfem beliefs and their beliefs. It seems to me that the goal of radical feminism is less about outreach and more about making strong communities of politically involved, likeminded women. There is a need for both subcategories of feminists and room for both of us in the broader feminist movement.

I want to emphasize that this relates mostly to online communities. IRL relationships or close online ones allow for much more nuance than radblr or its Twitter equivalent. So honestly, maybe this take is just terminally online! I do spend more time here and less time touching grass than I would prefer due to my disability. I've also been talking with some women who strongly believe that someone in my position should still call herself a radical feminist, precisely so there is variation in the movement that can be more accepting and...idk, open-minded. I'm letting that thought percolate right now.

As for my personal beliefs and radical feminism, I can actually summarize those in bullet points, as opposed to the rest of this post lol.

Radical feminists tend to ignore the nuance of gender and sex dysphoria, writing it off as reactions to misogyny which can be fixed, or just straight-up privilege. I'm skeptical on that. I think it's more complex. Some women might find some level of transition to be the most practical solution. Sex dysphoria may have a neurological, endocrinological, or neurodevelopmental component that genuinely requires medical intervention. We just don't have enough research to know. I think people need to do what gets them through the day, and if presenting as the other sex (without denying your own female sex) is what that is....then so be it. The important thing is to figure out what is best for you, and that's a process for sure.

I 100% agree with radical feminists on the sex industry and the beauty industry. However, I do have sympathy for people of both sexes who genuinely never thought about the inhumanity of the sex industry; it seems so obvious to me now, but I totally bought the "sex work is work" line for a while and I know other radfems who did too. I also understand why quitting porn can be difficult because orgasms are a powerful conditioning tool, and when you subconsciously associate orgasms with porn, it can be hard to override that association. I have zero sympathy and complete contempt for people who are educated on the crimes of the sex industry and just carry on with their lives, though. Or for men who quit porn ~for themselves~ after they learned about the hell women, children, and some men go through.

I think men can be allies and can be educated on radical feminism. I do not think men are hopeless or inherently destructive. Male socialization is destructive, yes. Far too many men in general are destructive. Individual men can be fine. I guess that's #notallmen but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And as I said above, I think radical feminism is fundamentally not flexible enough to be practical on a broad scale. That's truly my biggest issue.

Happy to elaborate further if anyone is interested.