merveloyd

[merveloyd]

One day while walking and trying to ignore your visions yet again until they suddenly feature strange figures that call your name, against all odds they know your tongue. They say that you need to follow their instructions so as to canonize their time, otherwise they will never have-. While distracted and shocked you stumble into a merchant’s stall and the vision changes. While the merchant yells at you, you see an immense crowd standing emotionlessly around an empty podium, with snail in the middle dancing to the strangest tune.

Imagine being a oracle in the ancient world, given visions of a future you cannot know. Everyone comes to you asking about things that matter to them, wars that will be won or lost, children that will be born. But you're cursed to see further then that. You see things you can't comprehend, a billion possible futures branching out from every momment. You can see the temples of the gods laying empty and barbarians ravaging the known world. You can see man made horrors beyond your comprehension, empires larger then anyone could imagine. You know of artifical intelligence, or nuclear war, of climate change. And you can't even describe any of it to most people. Starships fighting over black skies, humans twisted apart and put back together by machines, and nobody around you can even try to know.

Most people prefer false oracles, that tell them only of things they understand. While you only discuss what you know with a few scholars and philosophers who are terrified to understand the futures you can see.

[merveloyd]

Within The Trap Cane’s ecosystem there is a number of unique semi parasitic plants, the two most widely known examples are:

The Globulus cavus, or ball pit, are closely related to bell peppers. They are utilized by the Scary Clowns as a nest where they can camouflage their eggs among the balls, from other opportunistic predators. They also seem to use it as a food source when no others are available. It is believed the clowns have somewhat domesticated this plant

And The Displodo Tuberosum, or exploding potatoes, are a distant cousins of American potatoes that grow within the walls of The Trap Cane. They lack any leaves or fruit and consist of and intricate series of roots within the walls with multiple protruding tubers filled with a highly volatile chemical within them. Whenever a tuber is damaged a small explosion occurs within them that breaks apart the tuber and propels them far. The tuber pieces go into a sudden growth process when shattered and immediately start burrowing roots into whatever they land. The explosion doesn’t leave every piece instinct however, as pieces near the center are left effectively charred. These pieces are believed to have inspired modern french fries.

The Trap Cane, or Arundinaria deludens, is a carnivorous plant related to bamboo, with hollow, twisted stems that form a labyrinthine network of tunnels. These tubes are lined with oily neurotoxic and hallucinogenic secretions, that give it a plastic-like sheen and cause disorientation in animals, potentially leading to dehydration or death if they cannot escape. The decomposition of trapped animals provides nutrients for the plant, contributing to its complex and diverse ecosystem, which includes creatures like clowns—particularly the Scary Clown breed, which appears immune to the plant's toxins and nests safely within the structure. The Trap Cane has been linked to historical cases of missing persons, particularly in the 80s, when children were reported missing in areas known to have one of these anomalous plant structures. In response to the dangers, research has focused on mapping these plants and developing protocols for search and rescue operations using drones and robots to improve safety and understanding of the species.

More Art Under 'Keep Reading' - Beware (Spooky)

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[merveloyd]

You can only eat 2 foods for the next 2 years (with no health repercussions)

Spin this wheel twice to figure out what they are!

[merveloyd]

Also how would this look like for everyone else in the realm? Just an insane peasant talking to the voices in his head desperately trying to get an audience with the king?

Or would everyone be like:

"Oh Jeremiah? Yeah he’s a prophet of a new deity, Chatte if I recall right, he says he comes from another world and Chatte is the combination of souls of those from his home. I though he was full of bull but he saved my mother from the pox so I’m considering converting, apparently some devout ones have visions of Chatte themselves”

[merveloyd]

This version’s movie production was as expensive and hazardous as the 1939 one but only because none of the actors had ever ridden anything before

I don't know where it came from, but several years ago this idea popped into my head unbidden, and for some reason it tickles me. I don't know if it's funny, but I like it and I made it into a zine, I hope you enjoy it.

It lays out really nicely as 3-up spreads on A4 paper, so you can print, staple and fold it, then cut it into 3 zines. It made it really easy to print up 20 of them to trade at this art social thing I went to

micron, rotring and sharpie on printer paper, coloured and screentoned digitally, 2024

[merveloyd]

I was swimming on a rather remote shore when I came upon a wizard bathing in the water, They are tasty land meat can actually handle themselves in water for a bit, but it’s not usual for them to be in it so I bit him. I was at least mostly full and I felt like this wizard was angry, so I made the decision to swim away. His magic was too powerful to let me get away so he made me go backwards and he pulled me out of the water, then he got to draining.

This endeavor took only 40 minutes as the sea was quite long and difficult to empty. There was only a tiny puddle left where he left me before draining it to let me to dry out.

If you are a wizard muncher like myself, please learn to never eat one from this horrible recounting of this tragedy while you listen to the wizard's sick royalty-free disco music that he blasted upon me.

I was walking on a rather remote beach when I came upon this Whip eel drying up in the sun. These are intertidal eels that can actually handle themselves out of water for a bit, but it’s not normal for them to be fully exposed in direct sunlight like this. The tide was at least six hours from coming in and I felt like this eel was in distress, so I made the decision to dig him out and return to the ocean. His body was too delicate to be simply pulled from the hole without injury, so I got to digging.

This endeavor took about 40 minutes as the eel was quite long and difficult to excavate. Also had to continually refill my temporary eel pond to keep him from drying out entirely while I worked.

If you are an eel aficionado like myself, please enjoy this silly little video of the relocation process set to some jaunty royalty-free disco music.

[merveloyd]

Clown Meat: Fourecks A.D.

"The last known colony ship went into the depths of Jupiter in a suicidal haze"

[merveloyd]

A thing I've noticed is that you can often see the quality of an old show/movie by the amount of compelling video essays they have, though if it markets itself as/is dumb fun then the larger the number the more it's probably controversial/bad

[merveloyd]

Jupiter is filled with clowns

(Felt inspired by the Jovian clown from Clown Meat but the connection is probably nonexistant outside from Jupiter=Clown planet)

The most abundant form of life in the upper atmosphere is basically a simple airbag, they're small and round most commonly a shade or red or orange to blend in against the air, they inflate themselves with nutritious gasses and expel waste gasses with a honking sound, most creatures descend from what's commonly known as 'noses'.

Noses can sometimes be found in groups as large as a small continent, but not for more than a couple of years as they usually suffocate themselves, die massively and fall

This is a normal part of their lifecycle as when they die small noselets embedded in their membranes start feeding off it before consuming it fully and growing into full noses at a different altitude.

The closest organisms resembling earth flora are basically elongated noses so they can absorb more gasses while still being nimble enough to move through the winds, they're commonly called 'balloons'.

Most balloons group together and function as a colony with large central ones (most commonly intertwined in a spiral) that acts as reserves of a substance analogous to glucose but slightly gaseous, the big ones have thousands of smaller balloons sticking out inhaling and exhaling.

Balloon trees are found in groves with small 'roots' connecting them together at their bottom, they contain almost no gas and transmit chemicals probably for communication.

They used to only spread by letting balloons fall off themselves and grow into new trunks that attract/grow new branches before eventually some branches developed 'flowers'.

Whenever a pollinator (we'll get onto them later) finds a flowering branch they sense a slight glow coming from them and are compelled to come closer. When they do they find a delicious 'fruit' that they quickly envelop it before going away, as they consume it they discover an extremely unappealing pellet at the center and spit it out.

If the pellet lands on another tree then that tree's branches start flowering, if it doesn't land on anything it falls for a while before growing into a couple of trunks and ranches before floating back up.

It is believed that the first flowers were some sort of disease or 'bacterial' infection.

The first predator came about when an oversized nose accidentally inhaled a smaller one and didn't let go, due to the small space and quickly changing atmosphere the smaller one started to rot, it released nutritious gasses from it's body that let it grow rapidly.

It's descendants evolved more holes, a smaller one for breathing and a larger one at their bottom exclusively to consume and trap noses, they also evolved eyespots on a stalk at their top, they are called 'berets'.

Berets actually have two lung/stomachs, one beneath it's skin taking up most of it's space helping it float and another one like a pocket connected to it's mouth that's usually open unless it has enough noses to trap.

Some feed exclusively on tree fruits that imitate dead, spread open, bright noses that actually look shockingly like strangely shaped flowers to the human eye.

It is unknown whether The Big Tops descended from beret or convergently evolved noses, they have a large mouth area that envelops kilometer wide areas of air for consumption, this is referred to as swallowing, they take their time sorting through their internal atmosphere while replacing the inner air in-between their skin, any organism swallowed is transferred to special organs that use chemicals to greatly speed up their rot.

They have exhaust ports near their brim where they exhale stale air, they use this for propulsion and have a couple specialized ones for shooting out Small Toplets.

The immense size of The Big Tops combined with their greatly nutritious inner air makes them a prime target for parasites.

Thus began a slightly beneficial relationship where Balloon Trees attracted Berets that could be swallowed on smaller mouths across The Big Top, mostly stationary Berets deterred any large predator that could cause significant damage to The Big Top while The Big Top themselves grew slight wall nets that protected it's surface against strong winds to foster the growth of the parasites.

Though some argue that the wall/nets might have originated as a disease or bacterial infection.

The Big Tops allowed for a sort of playground where evolution could experiment without so much risk of falling failure, they even invited certain predators by marking strips of their surface with certain colors to indicate that they had no organs and could be consumed, they are usually white.

Though some predators have a dislike of Big Top meat and prefer the multitude of sweet simulated fluffy nose gibs of the Balloon Trees, the high placement of them meant only for pollinators called for an innovative way to get to them, for a certain Top dwelling scavenger mouse equivalent, this meant climbing.

In order to climb they needed some way to hold on to the balloons, which led to claws, which led to opposable thumbs, which led to juggling as a mating ritual to signal hand-eye coordination which led to the first clowns.

Mimes, on the other hand, are completely unrelated to the clown genus and are descendants of the first felines introduced by humans.

[merveloyd]

One of those goofy maid animes, except the viewpoint character isn't the hapless master or mistress of the house, but a regular-ass janitor who ended up on this crew due to a paperwork mixup at the temp agency and can't figure out what the fuck is wrong with her co-workers.

[merveloyd]

You know what? I've collected/curated a lot of good quotes for a couple of years, I should unleash them, so here are the words of people more apt with them than me.

//

`Good point, well made,’ said Ridcully, dismissing it instantly

//

So a lot of history is now gone for ever. The Campaign for Real Timers claim that just as easy travel eroded the differences between one country and another, and between one world and another, so time travel is now eroding the differences between one age and another. "The past," they say, "is now truly like a foreign country. They do things exactly the same there."

-Douglas Adams

//

Terms cut out of fog! Watering down the currency of expression, causing anything to mean whatever you want it to mean, until nothing is meant and nothing is precise!

//

“…Grow up and face the real world.�� “I have,” Carlo replied. “I faced it, and now I’m going to change it.”

-Greg Eran

//

Miserable, atrocious fucking day. The kind of day that you never quite recover from. But that is life, making peace with suffering is the ultimate goal. As they say: This too shall pass.

-ItsTheTalia

//

Science has proven that sex is impossible…             But the Bible begs to differ

-Neil Ciciriega

//

A bankrupt nobleman was just another beggar, after all.

//

Do not go gentle into that good night, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

//

It was a simple fact that, by and large, women were not as physically suited for infantry combat as men. By and large . . . …What happens to the individual, when they get locked within that dangerous "by and large"? Generality is a slippery slope. …Ay, there's the rub. Because a fair number of women did pass even Frank's disgruntled scrutiny—and some of them with flying colors. Six of them, to be precise.

//

She'd always thought it was stupid anyway to accept a man only to immediately try to turn him into something he wasn't. On a practical level, why bother? Find someone else, dummy, if it bothers you that much. On a deeper level, because something about the idea offended Sharon Nichols' concept of basic human dignity.

//

NO. YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN’T TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME? 

//

Forward, by god! Forward we lurch into the dim horizon! We all go together where we all go alone!

-Zach Weinersmith

//

You’re not your thoughts. You’re not your brain. You’re just the character you’ve made. Up in your head down in your heart, What seem like separate body parts Just come together to believe they’re you, And not just chemistry. It’s not the way that you were raised, Or what the advertisements say. Not what you pay for, what you pray for, What you want, or what you say.

-Will Wood

//

Sometime “respect” can mean treating someone like an authority Sometimes “respect” can mean treating someone like a person And sometimes when someone says, “if you don’t treat me with respect, I won’t treat you with respect” what they really mean is, “if you don’t treat me like an authority, I won’t treat you like a person”

-DrewKime

//

No one is their perfect mask, no one is your fantasy of how they are and you don’t need to change them into that, but you can help them become their ideal self, not for anyone else or for whatever they want to have in you, but for themselves

//

Finally, Gretchen understood the full extent of her victory. Total, complete. She had beaten the Devil. Whipped him like a cur. She had saved everything from his dark realm. Even the one thing she had thought lost forever. The only thing she possessed of value to the Beast, which she had traded away to save her family. Now, at the threshold of her new life, she reached through the iron gates and snatched back her virginity. Gleefully, she robbed the Robber, and gave the treasure as a gift, to the man who had earned it.

-Eric Flint

//

Touching and groping things you don't understand never ends well.

-Fear and hunger 2: Termina

//

He’s lost in what I call virgin boy instant love syndrome - they get some pussy and think they’ve met the love of their life

-cinnamonest

//

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure

-gingerinajacket8519

//

Wealth isn’t “stuff” , it’s the social relationship of command

-HeavenlyPossum

//

I have never heard of X, and frankly X sounds completely unhinged, and also the main proponent of X, whom you refer to as a ‘celebrity’, seems to be a naked man who lives in a garden shed

-bat_out_of_heck

//

With my wife's consent, I spent the first six-ish years of our kid's life sprinkling in little lies, such as: * Some French fries contain a toxin called "floshtins" which are poisonous to young children (but which parents are immune to). Don't worry—we've taken out all the floshtinated French fries from your plate, but that's why we don't share with you. * Bears don't exists * When you went a year without losing any baby teeth, the entire economy of Tooth Fairlyland, which had engaged in rampant tooth-based speculation, collapsed. It is now a post-apocalyptic hellhole. * Christian Von Koenigsegg personally agreed to design you that drone you thought up, the one that could fly, was the size of a 1x1 lego piece and that shoots fireballs, but the project is still stuck in the R&D phase * You have a dial in your belly button that we can adjust to "realign your glorvax" and put you in a better mood. That last one actually works, though.

-OpenBagTwo

//

Everyone deserves a second chance, but if they prove me wrong then they’re done

-mr-kitten23

//

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

-weaselle/blinkpatch

//

[DANGEROUS QUOTE OBLY MEANT FOR ENEMIES, NOT YOU]

You will die alone, with shit in your pants. That is a prophecy.

-David Wong

[DANGEROUS QUOTE ENDED]

//

I SING MY OWN SWEET MELODY, I GO MY OWN SWEET WAY I WON’T BEG ‘ROUND TOMORROW FOR THE KIND OF AFFECTION THAT WAS FREE TODAY! OH, YOU CAN SQUEEZE ME, TEASE ME; SAY I’M YOUR OWN BUT I’M NO GIRL’S TOY! YOU CAN CHARM ME, CHASE ME, FOLLOW ME HOME; I WON’T BE COY! YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT MUCH BUT I’M MY OWN BEST BOY

-Raggedy Andy 

//

[merveloyd]

Runt in his new sweater

[merveloyd]

Icicle Kid/Dripp Boy went into black metal

[merveloyd]

Alright sure why not, here's what I did in notepad without really thinking hard, slowing down or editing.

He was running, the clowns had broken down, they were chasing him troughout the dicrepid circus, he owed them a lot of money, they were just too funny, what was he supposed to do? he hadn't got any good laughs in a while and they were offering them at a good price at first, at first thats how they get you isn't it? they offer you a brief reprieve from all of your troubles from the world at large for a dime but then they don't stop they ask you for more and more until you don't have anymore so you try your hardest to get more, it works for a while until it doesn't, the worst part was that when you couldn't give anything more to them they didn't refuse you, they knew what you were going through and offered you some more, they trust you to pay them back, within a certain time frame of course, a couple of times you could pay them back until one time you couldn't and that was all they needed, you trip over yourself while running and lay down on your face for a moment, you wish they were chasing you but they don't have to, you'll be back.

The most important writing lesson I ever learned was not in a screenwriting class, but a fiction class.

This was senior year of college.  Most of us had already been accepted into grad school of some sort. We felt powerful, we felt talented, and most of all, we felt artistic.

It was the advanced fiction workshop, and we did an entire round of workshops with everyone’s best stories, their most advanced work, their most polished pieces. It was very technical and, most of all, very artistic.

IE: They were boring pieces of pretentious crap.

Now the teacher was either a genius OR was tired of our shit, and decided to give us a challenge.  Flash fiction, he said. Write something as quickly as possible.  Make it stupid.  Make it not mean a thing, just be a quick little blast of words. 

And, of course, we all got stupid.  Little one and two pages of prose without the barriers that it must be good. Little flashes of characters, little bits of scenarios.

And they were electric.  All of them. So interesting, so vivid, not held back by the need to write important things or artistic things. 

One sticks in my mind even today.  The guys original piece was a thinky, thoughtful piece relating the breaking up of threesomes to volcanoes and uncontrolled eruptions that was just annoying to read. But his flash fiction was this three page bit about a homeless man who stole a truck full of coca cola and had to bribe people to drink the soda so he could return the cans to recycling so he could afford one night with the prostitute he loved.

It was funny, it was heartfelt, and it was so, so, so well written.

And just that one little bit of advice, the write something short and stupid, changed a ton of people’s writing styles for the better.

It was amazing. So go.  Go write something small.  Go write something that’s not artistic.  Go write something stupid. Go have fun.

[merveloyd]

Would spanish speaking catboys/girls go 'ña~'?

[merveloyd]

<prev

Dandelion used to be Dr. Lillian Pamela Tara, a brilliant researcher in the field of bio engineering, she was one of the main contributors towards an exciting new project led by her mentor, it was gonna revolutionize agriculture! Or it was going to after the kinks were worked out, it was going well until their parent company considered the project a failure.

Slowly but surely, the grants got smaller and the demands for results higher, the staff had to find creative ways to find the necessary funds to keep the project going, Dr. Lillian herself took up multiple side jobs, it was tough but manageable

Or it was until the fire.

She didn't remember how it started, it didn't matter at the moment and didn't matter now, it was chaos, everyone trying to escape the lab, specimens escaping, the bodies were unrecognizable.

While she was running she found her mentor, he had collected most of the important samples, a couple had fractured, he'd been exposed to them and could no longer move, he begged her to take the samples and continue the research, it was almost done, roots were growing out of him, he was in pain so she offered what help she could.

Looking back she realized Dr.Lillian died with her mentor.

All of the surviving scientists were left not unscathed, she was lucky, still mostly human, when she was strong enough to call home she heard the news, apparently the footage from the security cameras survived, she was a murderer.

She had to find creative ways to get cash, she wasn't proud of them but the research would compensate them along with the rest of humanity, after some weeks she had enough to buy a room at a motel and for the staff to not ask questions while she continued the project.

Finding a place were she could somewhat relax she finally noticed the changes in her body, her skin getting greener, her hair paler, she tried not to think about them, she needed some more 'funds' for the equipment but she managed.

One day the project was done.

There they stood, they grew so fast, the fruits of the effort of her fallen friends, they were beautiful, she could almost hear them speak to her.

They weren't exactly as the team planned, she knew the public would find them unappealing (even less so with her standing), they needed so much care, nutrients and space, they needed somewhere better than this motel room.

She found a secluded forest place in the forest for them, they loved it! So much space for them to grow, she never has a problem finding her garden to take care of them.

Occasionally someone else would find the garden, they were always so inconsiderate to her plants, trampling and mutilating them, she had to protect them and besides they were never seriously harmed, probably.

"For if only a single dandelion stands, even when trampled she will sow her creations far and wide"

[merveloyd]

I know it probably has some deeper meaning but I can only see this as 'Slither.io: Dawg version' and I feel so worried for the pup