#so I got into ghost because of my friends and genuinely it was a slow spiral into this btw

[spect-era]

The loser that falls over….

[thisisntmattsturniolo]

hide and seek

summary - you and your friends play a game of hide and seek, but since you and matt can’t find a hiding spot, you end up hiding together.

contains - sub!matt x poc!reader, drug use (on that good kush and alc) oral (m receiving) pet names, semi - public, swearing , no p in v, praise kink, lowercase, no use of y/n.

somewhat proofread

✶⋆.˚

we were all in the living room, it was around 2am . me , the triplets, madi , and nate. we were all passing the blunt around under the dim lights, the only things that were noticeable were their low bloodshot eyes and the low music playing in the back.

“guys…” nick slurred out “ we should totally play hide and seek in the dark, plus were high. you know how much fun this might be.” he exclaimed “nick are you serious” chris scoffed “what are we? in fucking kindergarten?” “no motherfucker, im just saying we should because were sitting here like mannequins passing a fucking joint and high out of our minds.” nick yapped while chris paid no attention to him.

“i mean im down” nate said . madi and i agreed with nate, while matt just sat there quietly watching the others bicker. after 20 minutes of arguing we all agreed to the game, we all chose nick to be the counter we all ran to our hiding spots as nick went to go turn the lights off.

chris hid upstairs , madi hid in one of the bathrooms , and nate hid in matts room . meanwhile me and matt were trying to find a space to hide, nick was already at 30 since we told him to count to 50. i hid in the nearest closet, matt must of saw me since i somewhat ran to it.

“matt what the fuck are you in here!? this is my-“ i was shut up by him covering my mouth. the closet we were hiding in was somewhat spacious, enough room for the both of us to fit. i was honestly surprised he would be in here with me, but i wasn’t mad, i was just glad it wasn’t chris.

“can you be quiet, do you seriously want to be the first ones found?” he sighed out, not making any eye contact with me. that was the first time he ever spoke to me. i was friends with nick and chris, and yea i talk to them but, i didn’t really talk to matt as much as he never talked to me. i would always catch him staring at me whenever i was talking to chris or nick but i always ignored it, i would also try and start conversations with him but i was always answered with a head nod or nothing.

chris was found first since he doesnt know how to shut up nor sit still. few more minutes past by no one else was found yet, i was genuinely surprised, so i tried to start a another conversation with matt. “on a scale of 1-10, how afraid of ketchup are you?” i blurted out with a giggle as he stared at me with a ‘is she really serious..’ face.

the boy said nothing, just another sigh in response. “y’know matt…” i spoke up a little as my fingers traveled up his tattooed arm, moving closer to him. his breath hitched since my movements were so unsudden, “it’d be better if you started a conversation with me. i think you’re a really handsome boy and i think we’d get along great..” i whispered in his ear as i straddled on top of him, wrapping my hands behind his neck, his hands shot to my waist.

our lips ghosted each other as i got closer to his face. i started to kiss his neck down to his collar bone, he let out a low whine as his hips bucked up a little. i felt his buldge against my clothed core, but i ignored it. i kissed my way back up to his neck, cupping his jaw and pecking a kiss on his soft pink lips.

he pulled me back into the kiss, it was a slow passionate kiss. i slightly rocked my hips causing him to groan. “please..” he pulled away from the kiss looking down. “please what matthew?” i asked him softly, slowly grinding hips on him. “i need you..” he said quietly.

my fingers traveled down his shirt to his sweatpants, fidgeting with the strings above his buldge. he bucked his hips up, practically begging for my touch. my fingers crept up to the waistband of his sweats, slightly tugging at them. he nodded his head slowly in approval, i pulled sweats and boxers down briefly to his thighs. he winced at the cool air that brushed against his tip, letting out a small whine.

“you’re such a pretty boy matthew.. it’s such a shame you don’t really talk to me, i’d like to get to know you better..” i huffed out as i placed one hand on his shaft, moving it up and down. the brunette let out a audible moan, throwing his head back onto the wall behind him. “fuck baby please..” he grumbled bucking his hips into my hand. “need your mouth.. s’bad, please..” he began to whine.

i began to duck my head down to level with his dick. his hands traveled to my hair, tangling his fingers between each curl. i gave his tip a few kitten licks, his grip on my head began to slightly tighten. he let out a breathy moan before looking down at me. “if you make any noise i’ll stop and you’ll half to finish on your own. got it?” i made myself clear, i honestly didn’t want this moment to be over. the boy shook his head rapidly in response.

i gave his tip another kitten lick before swallowing it whole. pumping the rest i couldn’t fit into my mouth. his grip on my hair tightened as he threw his head down with his mouth hanging open and his eyes closed, “you’re doing so good for me matt. it would be such a shame if someone caught us, wouldn’t t it?” i teased, small whines and whimpers came from his mouth. i shot him a quick warning look and he perched his mouth shut.

“shitt..oh f-fuck..you’re s’good baby..” he was just blabbering words at this point, nothing but swear words and whimpers left the boy’s mouth. he repeatedly covered his mouth to contain the whines and whimpers that were spilling out. “‘m close..please..” he warned, as his chest began to rise and fall rapidly. his cock begin to twitch, signaling he was close. i swirled my tongue around his tip, giving it light, sloppy kisses. white ribbon like ropes shot out into my mouth. “you’re so good f’me baby..” he mumbled under his breath.

he pulled me in for another kiss but it was sloppier than before. kissing me like there was no tomorrow. he pulled me onto his lap, my clothed cunt grinding against his somewhat still hard on. i was honestly soaked at this point. his whines spilled into my mouth, causing me to smile a little in the kiss. i pulled away when i heard multiple footsteps passed by the closet and mumbling voices indicating everyone was near by. we were both hot and sweaty, out of breath, and everything was out of place.

i cleaned myself up before cleaning him up since he was clearly tired. i laid a kiss on his temple before getting up to open the door. “can you stay here for a bit..” matt asked with a slight crack in his voice, almost sounding embarrassed. “matt why would you wanna-“ i was cut off by nick opening the closet door. “now how the fuck did i not find you, and why is matt in here?” “and why is your hair fucked up” chris added as he stood behind nick.

shit.

@sturnsslut @vampsturns @chr7svv @luvmatt @sturnsgirl @lovesturns @chrissslut

[blublublujk]

baby if only you knew

oneshot

word count: 5k

genre: strangers to lovers, hybrid world

pairings: wolf hybrid reader x bunny hybrid jungkook

summary:

“Do you still think that?” “Think what?” The bunny looks confused for a second.  “That I’m the prettiest hybrid.” You say, your heart on your sleeve but it doesn't matter anymore.  “Yes.” He answers with no hesitation. “I like you. A lot. I have for some time.”  “I like you too, Jungkookie.” There’s some comfortable silence for some time as you both stare at each other longingly. “Be my girlfriend pup?”  “Yes bun, a million times yes.” 

warnings: this got a bit fluffy but things speed up once we get past the slow part i swear. explicit sexual content; dirty talk, pet play (IDK they are hybrids so), unprotected sex, since he's a bunny everything is fast okay, knotting, come inflation, slight breeding kink, pussy eating, slick since reader is an omega, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, creampie

a.n: ik yall probably had no faith on me to come back but here i am keeping my promise. october was supposed to be a good month for me but it was so shitty so forgive me but i bring this as an apology. i'll be back on halloween with some ghost hoseok x reader content hehe that was supposed to be released first but i'll keep that for the spirit of halloween. see you then! ^.^

—> m.list

—> welcome me on ao3 & twt

–

Jungkook is an amazing boyfriend. He’s generous, sweet, he cares for the people around him, and most of all he’s understanding and patient with those around him. He’s genuinely a fucking angel sent down to bless the earth. Truly, you were beyond lucky to call him yours. 

In a world of hybrids, it wasn’t so abnormal to see hybrids of different breeds together. When you first met Jungkook, you hadn’t even realized he was of a different mix. There was a story for that but that would come later. 

Jungkook did his best to tuck his huge bunny ears into a beanie/hood or anything that would cover them— which was really the only way to immediately tell he was a bunny hybrid mix, besides the obvious indicator (his nose would twitch cutely). The bunny never spoke about that around you so from the very first day you had laid eyes on him, you assumed he was nothing more than a sweet, strong alpha (solely based on the way he would carry himself) with big beautiful brown doe starry eyes. 

The day soon came where you would find that wasn’t at all true, seeing him outside of college campus grounds. As you stepped inside a local diner to meet with friends, you were drawn to the hybrid instantly, spotting him way too quickly. It was as if you had already imprinted on the man and maybe you had but you weren’t ready to admit that yet. He was stuffing his cheeks with a cheeseburger, chopping it down as if someone would take it directly off his hands. Friends surrounded him, they smiled and patted his back realizing how quickly the younger was eating his meal. The scene brought a smile to your face as you watched one of his Hyung’s wipe the mess around his mouth though it should have grossed you out, it was really endearing.

“Y/N!” Elsie yells from across the diner, ripping your attention from the group of men. 

“Hey kitty!” 

Elsie was a cat hybrid as if it wasn’t already obvious by her beautiful furry ears and long orange tail always giving her away, well that and her long red-painted claws. People always said cats and dogs don’t mix, but you beg to differ. Elsie is the most caring and outgoing kitty you know. 

She throws an arm around your shoulders. “Missed you, pup.” 

“I was only gone for a week.” Fall break was typically the time where your parents would beg  you to come back home even if it was just for a week and of course because you felt it was the least you could do, you booked the first flight out and stayed for the whole break. Even if it was only a week, it felt long regardless because home doesn’t feel like home anymore. However, it was nice spending time with your family, regarding the fact that you nearly booked a flight back two days after you landed. 

“A week too long.” Lira pouts. She’s also a cat hybrid. Sadly, she was missing her tail after an accident she had when she was still a kitten. She didn’t need the tail anyways, her fluffy gray kitty ears stood beautifully on top of her head. 

Lira wraps her arms around what is free, basically all space where Elsie hasn’t occupied, while Elsie’s tail brushes gently behind your back. 

“We missed you.” Elsie sighs against your neck, her sweet cinnamon scent rubbing into your skin. 

“I missed you guys even more.” You feel Lira smile beside you and you know she tries to hold back from dropping her fresh scent into the air, but soon enough peppermint reaches your nose and you are in full delight. It isn’t long before you release your own sweet, calming pheromones. “Seriously, it was so hard to concentrate back home. Don’t get me wrong I love my parents, but it was hell. My sister wouldn’t stop nagging about her brat of a boyfriend all week long. Can’t believe she found a boyfriend before me and she’s only fifteen! What have I done to deserve this?” 

The two hybrids laugh, releasing the tight hold they had little by little. 

“Oh Y/N, if you would just let yourself love and be loved you too would have found a boyfriend so long ago!” Lira simply explains without much other given context. 

“You know she’s right.” Elsie’s tail is now wrapped securely around your hip, the touch is soft but it’s comforting and makes you feel extra snug. “I mean just how long have you been pining for Mr. Can’t-Actually-Say-His-Name-Because-You’ll-Kill-Me.” 

Your eyes follow her gaze right across where Jungkook and his friends are sitting and you feel yourself melt into the seat. 

“Shut up.” You mumble. “I don’t pin after him.”

“Oh, you totally do.” Lira buts in. “‘Oh Jungkook, if you ever need help with that just let me know.’ You seriously believe that we didn’t notice the way you batted your eyes at him while you basically threw yourself at him.” 

“I did NOT bat my eyes at him. And I definitely didn’t THROW myself at him.” You yell-whisper in case any hybrids around are listening in. 

Elsie clicks her tongue. “No, you definitely did.” 

“See, told ya.” Lira digresses, sitting more comfortably against the booth. “Anyways, did you hear about…”

“Jungkook-ah, slow down. That burger isn’t going to run away.” Seokjin affectionately scolds, wiping the area around his mouth with a napkin. “Messy bunny.”

“So hungry.” Jungkook says with a mouth full. 

“Yeah, be grateful Hyung loves you.” The hamster hybrid says with no meaningful threat. 

“Love you!” Jungkook smiles shamelessly at his hyung. 

“Don’t look, but Y/N walked through the door.” Taehyung informs the table as he watches you walk towards your friends. They all burst into laughter watching Jungkook choke on his burger the second he hears your name being yelled. 

“S-She’s here?” He is quick to hide his face behind Seokjin’s broad shoulders but he shoves him back in his seat, happy with his doing when Jungkook’s face turns red.

“Jungkook-ah, my guy, when are you gonna admit you like this pup?” From across him speaks Jimin, his cat ears seem to stand tall, interested in his answer. 

“Hyung, I don’t like her.” Jungkook whines, having no choice but to hide his face behind his hands. “I just think she’s very cool and nice, that’s all.” 

Taehyung raises a brow. “Jungkook you nearly fall to your knees whenever you see her walk in class. Her presence alone leaves you a stuttering mess.” 

“N-No.” The bunny hybrid stutters. “Okay, fine. I like her.” 

Hoseok laughs with his body, grabbing onto Jimin’s shoulder. “Why don’t you just ask the pup out?” 

Jungkook’s face feels hot and he shrugs. “I don’t know… she doesn’t even know my hybrid mix yet.”

“Uh, I think the huge bunny ears give that away.” Yoongi says and points towards his head. 

“Yeah, but I hide them.” Jungkook shamefully admits. He was lucky to be wearing his hood when you came in. Usually the bunny carries his beanie with him everywhere, but today he was out with his friends so he didn’t think it was necessary. 

He’s hoping you didn’t notice. He doesn’t think you would mind that much, but he’s still insecure in the way that he wishes he was something cooler like his Hyung Namjoon. A whole alpha wolf hybrid mix. Why did he have to be born a fucking bunny? He’s embarrassed to admit it. What if you turn him away? Laugh in his face? You surely wouldn't, right? You are the nicest pup he knows. 

“Jungkook-ah…” Hoseok shakes his head, clearly in disapproval.

“I know Hyung. I know. I said I wouldn’t hide anymore, but I can’t help it. She makes me so nervous.” Jungkook lays back, Taehyung's palm goes to rub circles behind his back. “To be fair, I didn’t hide it at first, I was so used to wearing my hoodie in class so people wouldn’t talk to me…” 

—-

Two Months Ago 

“Hey.” 

Jungkook looks up to find a classmate he seems to have never noticed or seen before. He thinks you must be new. 

“I- sorry to bother you. You were the closest person to the door and I was just wondering if you could direct me to room 301. I think I’m in the wrong place.” The stranger (you) pulls her own hood down, revealing the cutest dog ears. He wondered if you were an alpha like his hyung. You nervously play with your strings as you wait for his reply. 

“No it’s okay. Don’t apologize. You’re in the right room. Actually, the room numbers are found on a silver plate by the door, but the plate fell off for this room and nobody seems to have the time to fix it.” The hybrid’s nose twitches cutely as he speaks, his doe-eyes glow in the light filtering the room. 

“Oh, okay. Do you mind if I sit next to you? The room is pretty packed.” You ask quietly, hoping the cute hybrid will agree. Meanwhile, you wonder about his breed. 

“S-Sure. The seat beside me isn’t taken.” He gestures for you to sit. 

“Thanks.” You smile. “You must be a wolf hybrid right? Your eyes give it all away, you’re a cute pup!” 

Jungkook’s heart drops. One because you think he’s cute and he also thinks you’re cute, but two because you think he’s a wolf hybrid. If only you knew what was under his hood. Now, he’s humiliated so he does what anyone foolish enough would do. 

“Y-Yeah.” He agrees and doesn’t say much after that.

“Sorry. Was I too forward?” Maybe he isn’t interested in being friends, you felt so stupid. 

“No!” He answers all too quickly and brings attention to himself. “I mean- no. Thank you. You must be a wolf hybrid yourself.” 

You smile because he noticed your ears of course. “Yes! An omega.” 

So you weren’t an alpha but an omega, Jungkook thinks you became cooler by the second. Even though the classroom is filled with all different kinds of scents. Jungkook thinks he smells a new one. His nose has always been extremely sensitive, but he thinks he smells cotton candy which is new. 

“Oh. I’m an alpha.” He lies, feeling extremely guilty. His hyung won’t mind if he steals his identity for a minute (Namjoon definitely will). 

“Of course you are. Only someone with a jawline and arms like that could be an alpha.” You smile and turn your attention back towards the front of the room where the professor seems to have just arrived. 

“Yeah.” Jungkook lamely replies and fakes a smile. God what did he get himself into? 

…

“She thought I was a wolf hybrid Hyung.” Jungkook tells his embarrassing story and his hyungs look back at him apologetically. 

“That’s still no reason to lie to her Jungkookie.” Hoseok reasons as usual. “I really think you should come clean. She’s a sweet pup. You wouldn’t like it if the situation was reversed.”

Jungkook pouts, nevertheless agreeing. Of course he’ll come clean. You deserve nothing but the truth. He’s just terrified that if he comes clean, about his feelings and the fact that he isn’t a wolf hybrid that you’ll turn him away and never speak to him again. He should have faith in you, but his insecurities get to him anyways. 

“I know I will, let's get out of here before—” Jungkook is interrupted by another person and he freezes in his seat. 

“Jungkook?” To Jungkook’s greatest fear, he finds you right by the table, some friends he always finds you with sit across where you had come from and look over with a proud look on their face. 

“I- yeah! Hi.” Jungkook’s awkward and his hyungs can’t help but to laugh at his mess. 

“Sorry to interrupt.” You apologize, ears flattening in your hair, looking adorable. 

“Don’t worry at all. We were just about done here anyways.” The kitty hybrid at the table reassures, you think his name is Jimin and it is confirmed when someone else speaks up. A bear hybrid this time with a deep voice. “Let’s head back to Jimin’s? I’m tired. Jungkook-ah, we’ll catch up with you later. See ya.”

They all stand and Jungkook feels he can throw up when he sees he’s left all alone with you by his side. 

“Do you wanna-”

“Do-”

Both of you start at the same time and it makes you both laugh. You don’t want to get ahead of yourself but you think it’s possible that he may feel the same way and that makes your heart warm. 

“You go first.” The hybrid says between a smile. 

You take a breath before you ask. “Wanna get out of here?” 

Jungkook nods eagerly, looking like a sweet pup before he’s up on his feet. “Sure, I know just the place.” 

The bunny hybrid doesn’t take you far. After like a fifteen minute walk, a lake comes into your vision and you both find a bench to rest your feet for a moment. 

“How-”

“Did-”

Laughter is shared again and suddenly Jungkook is less nervous. He has nothing to worry about around you. 

“Sorry, I was asking how was your fall break?” Jungkook asks while playing with the strings of his hood. 

“Good good! I went to visit my family back home.” Jungkook smiles hearing this. 

“How was that?” 

“Honestly,” you wrap your arms around yourself feeling a bit cold, “it went really well! We hiked around a lot while I was there. We all really love hiking and it’s the way we bond as wolves. Though this time we had a new member join our pack. My sister got a boyfriend. She’s only fifteen but she had fun as well. I think he’s a brat but she loves him so I can deal with him for now.”

The hybrid nods attentively, eyes sparkling in the moonlight. “I see. I have an older brother and he’s been with some fox hybrid since I can remember. He’s married though and I love her. She’s really great.” 

“How old is he?” 

“My brother is ten years older than me.” Jungkook replies in a low tone. “I’ve always been the baby.” 

Even in his entire friend group, Jungkook’s the youngest. Not that he minds, he just wants to be as cool as his hyungs. Being a bunny hybrid isn’t an easy life when everyone finds him cute. He can be cute, but he wants to be strong, cool (maybe sexy as well). 

“I can tell.” You whisper and his giggle calms the butterflies in your stomach. 

“Look there’s something I wanna show you.” Jungkook lets himself breathe for a moment before his hands come to the top of his hood. “I know this is so unexpected and sudden, but I don’t wanna keep lying to you.” 

He breathes one last time through his nose, closes his eyes for a second and drops his hood, letting his fluffy ears hit the fresh air. When he opens his eyes he finds you just as shocked as he imagined you would be. 

“Jungkook.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry for hiding something like this. I really didn’t mean to. I-”

Jungkook feels arms wrap around him and he freezes before he realizes all his fears and worries have been for nothing. He hugs you back, squishing you into him. 

“I’m sorry for assuming your hybrid mix bun.” He feels the whisper right below his ear. The bunny holds back a purr when he feels you gently scratch behind his ear.

Bun. Jungkook knows this is terrible timing, but fuck he thinks he could come in his pants right now. His friends and family call him that all the time but it’s never meant anything. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything from your lips either but he’s infatuated with you and has been for a couple months now. The bunny hybrid knows now more than ever that he wouldn’t want it any other way. He wants to be with you forever. 

“I’m sorry.” You pull back to look into his eyes and he shushes you with his lips. They are so soft against your own and you feel yourself hold back your own purr. 

The bunny pulls back so suddenly. “I- I’m sorry!” 

You don’t say anything but smile and reel him in by his strings and your lips crash against his much faster. The kiss is still soft but he doesn’t hold back this time. His lips mold with yours like if it was always meant to be this way. You drop one last kiss before pulling away. He tastes like cherry chapstick and you feel like kissing it off all over again but you hold off. 

“This wasn’t supposed to go in this order.” Jungkook laughs quietly, his hands hold your waist but they are soft to the touch. 

“It’s okay. I liked it.” You say, he watches your own eyes sparkle. 

“I should explain myself now.” The hybrid murmurs and you push off him just a bit, but you remain close and allow him space to speak. “Back when we first met, I had my hood on. Usually, I do that because I don’t like people talking to me.” 

You look at him apologetically but he shakes his head and continues, “you were the exception of course. I thought you were the prettiest hybrid ever and I didn’t want to pass you up so I helped you. I didn't expect anything, but then you called me a wolf hybrid and at the time, I was too embarrassed to admit I was a bunny hybrid.” 

“Oh Jungkook, I’m so sorry.” 

“No no! It’s okay. It was my own insecurities holding me back. I’m not scared anymore. I thought if I had told you I was actually a bunny hybrid that you wouldn’t have taken me seriously. Most people just think I’m some cute little bunny and I’m much more than my breed.” He admits and you feel sorry he would ever think something like that. You never imagined it was possible for other hybrids to think that of themselves, but you feel for him regardless. 

“I believe you. I still think you’re cute but I would never turn you away, Jungkook. You have so many things going for yourself, I wish you could see how cool and attractive you look through my own eyes.” 

Jungkook smiles. “You really think so?”

“Of course. You’re perfect Jungkookie.” And this time you both smile. “Do you still think that?”

“Think what?” The bunny looks confused for a second. 

“That I’m the prettiest hybrid.” You say, your heart on your sleeve but it doesn't matter anymore. 

“Yes.” He answers with no hesitation. “I like you. A lot. I have for some time.” 

“I like you too, Jungkookie.” There’s some comfortable silence for some time as you both stare at each other longingly.

“Be my girlfriend pup?” 

“Yes bun, a million times yes.” 

—-

Once again, Jungkook was the absolute best boyfriend ever. Genuinely the kindest soul and sweetest hybrid. But he was a fucking animal. No pun intended. It was your first time dating a bunny hybrid and you underestimated a lot of things. 

First, the bunny was incredibly needy. You had heard of this. Taehyung had warned you and you didn’t even believe it at first because you were quite clingy yourself, but then you realized it was much worse than you had imagined. Jungkook would pout and whine every time you would try to get up from your morning cuddles. He would tell you things like you could skip work or class for today and you would always disagree. 

“No. Not this time bun.” Jungkook whined, he would try his best puppy eyes on you which almost always worked but not this time. So much for not liking being cute. “No. I’ll see you after class okay? We’ll cuddle all you want after.” 

Jungkook huffs but lets you go anyways. He’ll be waiting for that. 

Second, you underestimated how much a growing bunny could eat. He was already in his last stages of maturing, but damn he could eat. You don’t even eat this much after your heats hit and your appetite is huge during those times. 

“Slow down, bun.” Jungkook would blush and smile with his mouth full. 

“Starving.” He would say even though you had fed him just an hour ago but it was cute. It was just so hard to say no to someone as cute as Jungkook. May he forgive you later for thinking he was the cutest bunny you had ever met but it was true. Jungkook was perfect and he was everything you ever wanted in a partner. 

Thirdly, you underestimated his sex drive. At first, you thought you were a match made in heaven. You would spend your heats with a bunny who tended to have a high libido. It would all work out! He could keep up with you and you would take what you needed during your frenzy heated state. It was perfect. 

Okay no, you definitely underestimated a bunny’s sex drive because Jungkook was a fucking beast. Your heats would hit every three months and Jungkook was more than happy to help. He was genuinely perfect. He would make sure you always had water and cold towels around to cool you down. The bunny would often check on you between rounds, during rounds, and especially after you had come down from the frenzy wave of your heats. 

It was one of those moments where you realized he was much more in need of this than you were. Bunny’s are in need of a lot of sex possibly more than any other hybrid. Jungkook would fuck you to oblivion for ten minutes straight and after twenty minutes as you cooled off, he was ready for more. Sex with Jungkook was beyond exhausting, but you wouldn’t change a damn thing. 

“W-Wait Jungkook, oh my god.” The bunny rammed his hips in and out of you at quick speed. His hands forcing your hips up, keeping you right where he wanted. “I’m gonna come again.”

Your voice falls out into whines and whimpers and still, Jungkook doesn’t hold back. He feels the second you start to fall apart writhing against the sheets every time you feel him hit your sweet spot. “Already pup?”

“Nghh.” Nothing stops the high pitched moan that rips through the room while Jungkook fucks into you with precision. “D-Don’t. Please don’t stop. ” 

Jungkook loves it when you get like this. All fucked out. Barely holding yourself together. He sees the way you cling to the sheets below, your slick is everywhere but that’s exactly how the bunny likes it. He’s convinced the neighbors could smell it by the way you keep pushing that sweet slick out. 

The scent of cotton candy hits his nose by a tenfold and he loves it. You’re coming right on his cock and that’s how it always should be, but suddenly he’s greedy. 

The bunny is quick to slip out of you and you want to shove him right back in, but he replaces his cock with his tongue and nothing else matters again. It’s like he’s addicted. Jungkook used to think he hated being a hybrid. Having the ability to smell all sorts of scents used to drive him insane and somehow, nothing is better than smelling your sweet, sweet scent. It drives him fucking insane.

“Fuck!” You scream. The bunny is buried nose deep into your pussy, forcing all your addicting slick to fall into his tongue. He inhales the fucking juices like it’s a meal. “I- I think I’ll come again.” 

Jungkook can’t help but to smile even while he’s in the middle of eating you out. He flicks his tongue around your clit, nibbling on it like the good bunny he is. The sensation starts to build all too quickly and another orgasm rips through your body. The world goes black for a second. 

You passed out and the next time you wake up, you feel the hybrid rubbing his length behind you. 

You both never even bothered getting dressed when your heat would hit. There was no use of clothes anyways. It wouldn’t matter if he would find a way to drop you on his knot every fucking minute he could. 

He presses his hard-on between your cheeks and you feel slick start to ready you up for him. 

“Again?” You croak, voice still filled with fatigue. 

Jungkook kisses your back softly as he caresses your hips (it’s the way he asks for forgiveness). He was a sweet bunny. “Sorry babe. You smell so fucking good. Just like me.” 

“Yeah because you’ve been coming all over me. There’s a bugde in my stomach. You’ve ruined me bun.” The bunny smiles against your skin and apologizes again in between kisses along your bare shoulder. 

His cock makes his way between your cheeks and you feel the tip against your slicken folds (you don’t know if it’s slick or his come). “Just the tip baby.” 

He whispers and you roll your eyes because it’s never just the tip but who are you to deny your sweet boyfriend of absolutely anything. “Go ahead bunny.” 

Jungkook sighs as the head of his dick eases into your pussy. He actually keeps his word and doesn’t go any further. The bunny takes his time, slowly rolling his hips into you. You hear him groan against your ear. “So good for me pup. All mine.” 

The bunny growls as his hand touches the bulge that formed in your stomach. He would keep his come inside you every single day if he could. Fuck everything else. 

The bulge reminds him of what it could be. He can’t wait to see you filled with his own pups. The bunny moans imagining your swollen belly, you would probably taste sweeter than ever. He might just breed you right now. Fuck birth control. 

“Kook.” He hears you moan lightly. “‘S not enough.” 

He smirks knowing his girl. “I know pup. Need my help?” 

You only nod, moaning again when you feel him pick up the pace. He’s still behind you and his hand leaves your stomach to pull your cheeks apart. He thrust himself fully inside you grunting into your ear. “So tight still even after last night.”

You squeeze your walls around him as he picks up his pace again, he tries his best in the position you are both in but he gets frustrated within the second and lifts one of your legs up, fucking his dick into your pussy easier. The bunny moans praises as he continues to ram himself into you. “So pretty. So beautiful. All mine.” 

“Yours. All yours.” You agree, feeling so fucked already. 

Jungkook pulls out for a second before he pushes you back against the bed and tugs your legs open for him. The bunny sits between your legs while he contemplates whether he wants to eat you out or stuff his knot into you.

You notice this and intervene. “No. Fuck me. Please.” 

He supposes he can let you decide for now. Jungkook lines his cock with your pussy and eases himself back inside you. This way he feels much better and he doesn’t struggle hitting your g-spot within the minute. 

“Knot. Need your knot bun.” You start to beg as slick falls out of you, your body clearly preparing you for a knot. 

“Yeah?” Jungkook breathes harshly, his ears twitch watching you fall into a desperate state. “Beg for it, omega.” 

Omega. Jungkook never calls you that unless he knows you are far too deep into it to care. Hybrids do not call each other by their status unless they are a part of that mix themselves, but Jungkook has always pushed his luck. He knows it drives you insane. 

“Please bun. I- wan- knot. Please knot me.” Your words start to go incoherent and he loves every second of it. The hybrid pulls out grabs some slick that has fallen into the sheets and covers his length with it fucking it back into you. His pace is significantly faster now, he plants hands into the sheets below as you wrap your arms and legs around him. He fucks into relentlessly, not worried about the noise being made. The headboard keeps smacking into the wall but he could care less. His neighbors hate him for sure but what does it matter when he has you under him. So desperate and perfect. 

Your moans are almost yells now and he only goes faster. And faster. And then much faster. This is when you really realize who you are with. A whole bunny hybrid. He’s so fast. Much faster than any of your loser ex’s. They don’t even compare for one second to what Jungkook is capable of. He always keeps you full and sated. It is as if he made for you and you for him.  

He feels his knot start to inflate and his nostrils flare, smelling your scent sweeten. Sweat coats his body but he doesn’t let up. “Bun will knot you now, my sweet pup. My omega.” 

Your legs start to shake around him as heat rushes down and you come as soon as you feel his knot ram into your g-spot. You are a complete goner, coming and squirting all over his knot. The bulge inside your stomach is beautiful and it grows bigger as he comes deeply into you, holding his knot and previous orgasms. 

Even though you definitely feel faint, you are proud of yourself for keeping your eyes open as his knot locks you both in place. Jungkook is careful when laying back behind you, feeling the knot tug at you both lightly. 

“You okay?” He asks in a whisper, pushing the hair out of your sweaty face. He kisses your pink cheeks. God he’s so lucky. “I love you. So much.”

“Yes. ‘M perfect bunny. I love you more.” You whisper, and lull back to sleep in the arms of your lover. 

Seriously, you wouldn’t have it any other way. Even if dick could kill you, so be it.

[pharawee]

I've been meaning to make a list of spooky (Thai - because negl that's 99% of what I watch) BL series and movies and what better time to post this than in October?

Spooky BL are my favourite flavour of BL. Turns out, there's actually a lot of them (maybe because Thailand does horror so well). These are only the ones I've watched (and enjoyed) so this list isn't complete.

*On another note: horror doesn't faze me at all so I can't really accurately say how scary some of these are. If you have squicks or triggers like jump scares, gore or bad endings please feel free to ask and I will do my best to give you a heads-up.

**This has been updated in October 2024 to include new shows and movies.

✨Spooky Thai BL✨

7 Days Before Valentine | This BL is a lot more introspective and heavy than other BLs on this list. It's beautifully filmed and very dark, however, which makes it the perfect watch for a spooky October evening.

1000 Years Old | Was it really all that spooky? Probably not. But sometimes spooky is a quirky vampire with an umbrella for every occasion and his clueless alien-loving boyfriend.

🎞️After Sundown | A period ghost movie slash love story with ZeeNuNew. Make sure to watch the uncut version if you can find it because it adds additional context and atmosphere.

Dead Friend Forever | This show has its spooky moments but at its core it's more of a psychological thriller with a few slasher tropes on the side. If you're in the mood for some suspense and not put off by heavy themes then this is definitely one of the highlights on this list.

🎞️Death Is All Around | Saint Suppapong coming through with another spooky production - this one about death and the afterlife. It also has Seng Wichai, Bas Suradej and Dun Romchumpa (presumably as a couple) but has yet to be released internationally.

Dear Doctor I'm Coming For Soul | This one has reapers and ghosts and lots of bittersweetness. It's not that creepy since the supernatural elements are very matter-of-fact. It will make you cry though, sorry. :(

Ghost Host, Ghost House | Spooky with incredible chemistry between the leads and a cast of characters that you will immediately fall in love with.

He She It | A three-episode miniseries with a haunting soundtrack and a nice plot twist. This will make you miss JeffGameplay. :(

He's Coming To Me | Probably one of the first series everyone will think of. Not that spooky but a solid ghost (love) story with a murder mystery at its core.

Hidden Love | This is a budget show filmed under serious constraints during the worst of the covid pandemic. It's clichéd. It's over the top. But it's also got its charms. It comes with a tragic ghost (love) story that completely overshadows everything else with its many flashbacks and plot twists. If you manage to get over the camp. I warned you.

The Hidden Moon | The story of this BL is a lot better than its editing (it is after all by the same author as I Feel You Linger in the Air) but it's definitely worth the watch for its spooky vibes and the ongoing and very intriguing mystery of the ghost story.

Low Frequency | Not spooky at all, and a bit slow and empty at times, but it has ghosts (in a way) and a sweet enough couple.

Make a Wish | Unfortunately, this has never had an inter release. There's inofficial subs floating around on grey sites but as of yet the series hasn't been fully translated. Which is a pity because it's a cute show about angels and spirit possession and (some) murder mystery.

Midnight Museum | I'm stubbornly putting this under BL. This show has everything and everyone. It's genuinely spooky at times but mostly draws on folklore, the mystical and an absolutely stellar cast.

OMG! Vampire | Well, it has vampires - which by definition should make it spooky but actually it's neither spooky nor particularly good - unless you miss LongFrank (which is a valid excuse).

🎞️Red Wine in the Dark Night | The oldest entry in this list. Admittedly, not very spooky (and instead rather surreal and sad), but it has one (1) vampire and Fluke Natouch in a role that's more grounded than we're used to nowadays.

Something in my Room | A spooky show with ghosts, mystery and romance that hides a lot of commentary behind metaphors and allegory. Criminally underrated because it didn't have a wide enough release. If you want to binge something fun and spooky for Halloween then this is the series to go for. Prepare tissues.

The Spell | A vertically filmed indie horror BL that was recently recommended to me. It comes with a serious SA warning so be aware of that if you decide to give it a try.

The Whisperer | Whatever happened here, it's not worth it. It could have been (maybe) if the production company didn't hold the last episode hostage until this day, but without a finale to maybe redeem some of the characters it's really not worth the watch unless you like the actors.

✨Not spooky but we're here for the vibe! ✨

4 Minutes | This show has mystery, style and time loops. So many time loops. Bring a whiteboard and marker for theories.

Every You, Every Me | This show is only just releasing in October 2024 but will apparently heavily lean into the fated soulmates and parallel realities trope.

Century of Love | Another gorgeous and suspenseful high-budget show about soulmates with plenty of fantasy tropes to choose from.

I Feel You Linger in the Air | Everything about this show is simply beautiful. It comes with a few supernatural elements that draw heavily on atmosphere and cinematography - but make sure to keep some tissues ready.

I Saw You in My Dream | The vibe of this show is both cozy and mysterious so it's perfect for an October binge-watch.

La Pluie | La Pluie draws from its fantastic premise and then it just goes from there. It offers amazing character development and a deep-dive into what it actually means to be soulmates.

Lover Merman | Exactly what it says in the title. Sadly it's not been released yet and it's currently MIA.

The Luminous Solution | Mysteries, a magical coffee shop, plot twists and a whole lot of confusion. Personally, I really liked it but it's definitely flawed.

Memory in the Letter | Time travel AND interdimensional mirrors. This is beautiful, almost like a fairy tale - if you can overlook the abrupt and slightly shocking ending.

On Cloud Nine | Short and beautiful. An indie production that's more ethereal than genuinely spooky.

The Sign | This show went all out. If you like crime mysteries, action sequences, fated lovers and folklore, then this is THE show for you.

Triage | A fantasy thriller set in Sammon's Manner of Death universe. No spooky vibes but plenty of suspense and an ongoing time loop.

Two Worlds | Parallel universes but make it gritty and grounded with plenty of angst and whump (and amazing love scenes). You're welcome. :)

✨Not a BL but hey, I know that actor!✨

Enigma | Win Metawin (and surprise guest!) in an incredibly well done 4-episode series about the occult with interesting worldbuilding and the promise of a second season.

🎞️Ghost Lab | Tor Thanapob and Ice Paris in a genuinely gruesome, shocking and scary horror movie. You've been warned.

Girl From Nowhere | One of the best things tv has to offer, and genuinely dark as well. Up Poompat, Pepo Nutchapan and James Teeradon feature in some of the loosely-connected episodes.

Haunted Universities 2 & 3 | James Teeradon (pt2) and Mark Siwat (pt3) in a horror anthology series set in and around campus.

🎞️Hoon Payon | Phuwin Tangsakyuen, Up Poompat and Bank Nuttawat in a classic spiritual ghost story. More shocking than scary.

🎞️Inhuman Kiss | Oab Oabnithi and Great Sapol (sadly, not as a couple) in a sad and romantic take on a classic Thai legend.

🎞️Inhuman Kiss: The Last Breath | JJ Krissanapoom in a thematically loose continuation of the first movie.

Let's Fight Ghost | A Thai remake of a fun and somewhat spooky kdrama with spiritual themes. And Saint Suppapong.

Peaceful Property | The verdict's still out on whether this is or isn't a BL (as of October 2024 the show is still running) but it offers plenty of spooky vibes, a stellar gmmtv ensemble cast and, yes, some queer rep too.

🎞️Pee Nak 1, 2, 3 and 4 | I'm biased because I really like this movie series. It's spooky but in a fun way. It has queer characters (as comedic relief - but not in a degrading way) and can get surprisingly deep. Watch this if you want to see (baby!) Tar Atiwat grow up on screen (because he's in all four movies). The third movie rewards you with some surprisingly sweet MeanPlan that continues into the fourth movie.

🎞️Operation Undead | A proper historical zombie movie with Nonkul Chanon (and Boss Thawatchanin if you can spot him). This movie has yet to release internationally but once it does we're definitely in for a treat.

School Tales | A Thai horror anthology centred around students at various schools. This series has Fiat Patchata, Kay Lertsittichai, Pepo Nutchapan, Mark Siwat and, most prominently, Saint Suppapong and Chimon Wachirawit in well-paced 50-minute episodes.

Shadow | Personally, I love everything about this show and I'm still hoping against all hope that it'll get a second season. It has queer characters (without being a BL - which disappointed a lot of people due to the fact that it was advertised as such), amazing cinematography, storyteling and acting and more dark and spooky themes than I can count on both hands.

The Stranded | One of my favourite series ever. If you watched LOST then you know what to expect. This has 3 QL couples (Perth Tanapon & Mark Siwat, Win Pawin & Tanthai Tatchapol, Ticha Wongtipkanon & Chaleeda Gilbert) but don't expect any of them to get a happy ending. Sadly, this series ended on a cliffhanger and won't get a second season due to the lead actor's tragic passing and Nadao's dissolution.

The Tenant | This was marketed as a horror BL but there's nothing left of that in the actual trailer. It stars Pepo Nutchapan and Boss Pornpipat (House of Stars) alongside Tan Kittinan (Love Puzzle) and I can't wait to watch this once it's released internationally.

✨Upcoming Spooky BL✨

Happy Ending | The pilot trailer for this was full of opulent dark fantasy thriller vibes.

The Hell Guard | Chains of Heart but make it spooky. Oh, I am so excited for this!

Goddess Bless You From Death | A horror murder mystery with a familiar cast and amazing visuals.

I Love/Kill You | A psychological thriller that might have plenty of horror to go with it, from the same author as 7 Days Before Valentine.

Khemjira | Past lives and curses and dark folklore - if you go by the (very well-written) novel, this BL will have it all.

My Golden Blood | GMMTV does vampires, part 1. I hope this is every bit as glorious as the pilot trailer suggests.

My Imaginary Boyfriend | Based on another one of Pat Rangsimant's novels (my favourite, actually). This one is more grounded, and spooky in a more psychological sense.

Mystique in the Mirror | Another of Pat Rangsimant's novels (and psychological horror too by the looks of it). This one started filming in 2023 and since then... nothing. :(

The Red Envelope | A Thai remake of Marry My Dead Body starring PP Krit and Billkin Putthipong.

Revamp - The Undead Story | GMMTV does vampires, part 2 - but this was originally a BounPrem project (and it still is, rest assured) by Studio Wabi Sabi.

Spare Me Your Mercy | A dark crime thriller set in Sammon's Manner of Death universe with an amazing cast and a very prolific director.

Vamp | Very likely not a BL but with many familiar faces. And vampires. One can never have too many vampires (unless you're in Paris and it's just after WW2).

Zomvivor | The only zombie series on this list has entered pre-production and is slated to be released in 2024 (but hopefully before the end of the year). Will it have BL? I don't know, but it stars pretty much all of domundi's acting couples (and more).

[deafsignifcantother]

if music be the food of love, chapter 5

♥ here you go lovies, it’s series time | chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, chapter four, chapter six ♥ summary: a cute comfort fic teehee and featuring their playful bickering ♥ relationships: aroace Alastor x deaf female reader (queerplatonic to romance) ♥ word count: 4.3k ♥ pinterest board ♥ notes: so essentially my concept is that reader isn't a 'sinner' at all and is just a gentle girl who has these abilities just because of a vengence she has + also i hold onto my thoughts that her radio shit is genuinely a curse because of her actions. not really within context of this story but i wanted to add that to emphasize that that is why alastor doesn't know how to talk to her sometimes. ♥ no tag list rn :3

You can't ignore him, especially when he pops into your room. He didn't want to, but with Charlie asking nicely and Vaggie threatening him, he rolled his eyes before giving in. You were the last person he wanted to see, and everyone knew that Charlie asked Husk first.

But nobody wants to get close to you when your songs are so miserable.

Angel walked by your room and burst into tears, as did Charlie when she went to knock on it. Even she couldn't overcome the nightmarish visions you forced into her head.

She gets it now, how terrifying you make people. She understands why you isolated yourself.

Alastor's first thought was to ask you to leave, especially since you brought despair to his employees. But after putting his fingers on his temples, he realized he needed to put his stubbornness aside and be a friend (in actuality, Charlie got mad when he talked about it).

He's never had to comfort you before. His eyes dart around the room, avoiding your saddening form. What does he say? The whole thing was somebody else's idea; he didn't have the time to think about something to say.

What would make you happy?

He sneaks up to you, hiding his static, wanting a second to see how you pose yourself in isolation. The eerie violins show no signs of dissipating; you keep still under your blankets; anyone could have mistaken you for sleeping, but he's watched you long enough to know the difference. Deep down, he is grateful that you won't show him what true terror is the way you do to others; he can't even imagine what his version of torture would be.

Should he say that you can ever push him away? That must be it...it's what you would only dream of him saying.

The first thing he does is have his shadow travel on the wall attached to your bed, where you can make eye contact with it. A bit of static joins your music. It's pretty endearing.

When you reach out to touch it, he's seized by the urge to leave the room and ditch it there to comfort you. Is that all it would take? Judging by your music's influx, he may still sense the harmful waves.

A chill seems to run up your spine, and to your shoulders, and in a slow turn, you look at him. What a sweet girl, he thinks. But then you whip your head back towards the wall. His eyebrow twitches.

Alright. Playtime.

He emerges from his shadow in the blank of an eye and lays on the bed next to you, on his side, propping himself up by the elbow. Your eyelids flicker at the sight of him.

Your hand noses between your bodies, and in a careful push, you shove his face away from you. He stares at the wall. When his eyes meet yours, there's a warning, and you pull away.

You strain and turn around, but his hand yanks you back to face him.

"Stop trying," you sign.

'You've changed so much,' he said yesterday, facial expression portraying nothing but disgust. And with his prideful smile, 'Overlords rise and fall, and I remain through it all.'

With your signs, he stays still, brain racing. "I'm not trying anything."

"I know you don't care, who asked you to be here?"

He almost responds with an answer. He lifts his hands to his shoulders, the ghost of 'princess' on his hands, before he transitions it to, "We all care about you, my dear."

He struggles. "I care for you."

"You're lying."

When you turn away, he lets you. But that doesn't mean he doesn't grab your waist and pull you against him, making room for him to transport right in front of your face again.

"Why don't you stop trying to drive me away? It's not going to work. I'm not going anywhere. I never have."

Except for the years he left you alone, you retort only with your expression. You both skip over that conversation.

"You always came back." You sign.

Alastor is winning you over. He knew that would work. Even your music has started to lighten up, though the minor key is still prominently lingering.

"Of course I do, darling."

For a simple test, you lean your head forward, and with an instinct he regretted, he presses his forehead against yours. But it's not enough to calm you down. He notices the lack of motion in the room, how still your hips are, and how small your breathing is. Your neck, as gorgeous as it is, is bent at an uncomfortable angle to match him. He knows it hurts you, so like the gentleman he is, his big hands cup your neck and cheek, letting you rest against him.

There you go; your music calms completely. Was it that easy for you to forgive him? You must genuinely relish him. You couldn't process the next several seconds. His forehead pulls away from yours, and your eyes widen when he moves closer and presses his lips against your forehead. They don't perk like a kiss but rather brush against you.

And then he disappears, his task considered done, and he leaves you flustered (on purpose). That asshole. Lukewarm air passes over your shoulders. Hell's days are always warm, but you find yourself shivering uncontrollably. He's only held you like that once before, the last visit before he left for what felt like an eternity. His lips felt like Heaven then, just as they do now.

After a few minutes of lying in your bed, exasperated at his fleeing, especially after holding you in your bed like that, you try to grasp how much he probably disliked doing that (unbeknownst to you, false, it was just the uneasiness if you were going to do something).

Flickering lights grab your attention, and you turn around to see Charlie flicking your light switch, already half inside the room. With an awkward wave, she invites herself in, fiddling with her hands. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Your eyes widen. You're in trouble, aren't you? Will they kick you out? Is this the end of everything? "I'm sorry for all that," you try to act casual, "Sometimes it happens."

Which is the most dismissive way to describe it.

Charlie just smiled softly, shaking her head. She keeps walking into the room, perhaps because of the urgency, which explains her bad manners.

"No, no, you don't have to worry about that—this isn't about you," she reassured you, resting a hand on your shoulder. "I need to ask you something."

Even more ominous.

"What possibly?" You sit up in bed properly, letting your legs dangle from the side. "Am I supposed to be keeping a secret? Is it about Alastor?" The words slip. Those sentences together are the worst combination.

"It's... Partially about him, yes." She responds, letting out a breath she didn't realize she was even holding. How is she going to explain this? You look her up and down, taking in every bit of her body language.

"Partially?"

She nods, beginning to fumble her hands together as she tries to form words. You stay patient, letting her figure it out for herself while at the same time screaming inside. Even your music starts to change.

She forces out whatever she can muster. "How long have you known him?"

"Since the moment he entered Hell we've known each other. Now tell me why you ask?"

Charlie begins to fidget as soon as you confirm, almost like she doesn't want to continue that conversation. She took another deep breath before responding. "Has he always acted like this? Did something change him?"

"Goodness gracious, will there be an overall point to this? He maintains his ideals, yes." You put a hand on your forehead to calm yourself down.

"That wasn't what I asked you."

Your eyes pierce hers, the look in your eyes reminding her that you were an Overlord, while the stare she has reminds you that she could kill you in an instant. Charlie Morningstar is glaring at you.

"He hasn't changed." You start off slowly, making sure she can understand. "You can trust me on that. There isn't any drastic events in his time in Hell and he will never change."

You say the lie as if it's second nature. From the time you left, something could have happened to him. With the differences in his composure, having less goofiness than you once remembered, you know it must have been something.

"That's exactly what I'm concerned about."

"Oh, he's not going to hurt anyone here." Your laugh doesn't comfort her. "If he wanted to, he would have already."

She has always assumed that, but hearing it from one of his closest friends makes her feel better.

She needed to come to you to confirm her beliefs. She trusts Alastor, but only to some extent. His motives are questionable. However, if you trust him, then why shouldn't she?

"Do you really think so?

"I know so. Don't you go worrying about it, princess."

She takes a deep breath, her smile returning. "Thank you. And-And thank you for being here! I gotta tell Vaggie."

The interaction ends with her grabbing your hands, nodding, blushing, and turning away with excitement in her steps. So delighted to keep her lover happy.

You look around your room, searching for any clue of Alastor's shadow. You wouldn't want him to know you were just talking about him. With no sign of him, the privacy offered calms your nerves.

You strip off the nightgown, definitely shooing away any of his shadows that could have been around. Brush your hair and tie lace layers to your waist before putting on the final layers of your dress. You look just as you did those bizarre years ago. A smile reaches your face, one that only you have witnessed.

.

"You keeping yourself busy?" You sign, sitting down at the bar. The slight ting of melancholia in your music makes Husk's eyes water, but he swallows the lump in his throat so as not to make you feel guilty.

"You could say that."

There's a childish kick of your legs. "Did you know I was coming?"

"Of course I did. We can hear you from a mile away."

"Not like that, Husk," you laugh and wave at him. "I meant when Alastor left."

But the conversation is closed before it can even start.

"Ah, finally, you've joined us!" Alastor's shadow dances across the walls before Alastor sits next to you.

"Yeah, I had to eventually." You give him the most comforting smile.

"What have you been doing since this morning?"

You give a joyous smirk, sarcasm evident. "I can ask you the same thing."

"Oh, you know," he plays along, "the usual. Nothing. Nothing here satisfies my interest."

“Interests like cannibalism? Gruesome murder? Your boredom must be unbearable! Were you waiting for me to join you?”

“Oh my, how sadistic of you. Are you a glutton of violence and murder, my dear?”

"Maybe I am, everybody loves letting off a little steam."

He laughed softly and stood beside you after you sat at the bar. His smile never left his face, even as he gave you a look that screamed oh, bullshit. You still have those tendencies?

“Oh yes, of course. A very common thing, letting off steam. So tell me, my dear,” he leans forward against the bar, "How do you like to let off steam then?”

You avoid his question for a few seconds as you point to a bottle on the shelf, Husk throwing a thumbs up before treating you. You lick your lips. "Going around luring people in, I suppose. Showing people their true weaknesses. The same old, same old, ah, do you remember?"

His smile widens, and his movements grow almost excited and cheerful. “Ah yes, what a pleasing reminder. I vividly remember you tearing hearts out of people,” he says with a soft chuckle. His eyes look you over once more before signing speaks again. “Though, I also recall how you hated getting bloody."

You laugh. "Ah yes, it was the stickiness. I used to ask you to poof it off for me." You wave a hand dismissively, a small smile growing. Husk stares at you two and the joyous banter between friends and he gets a sick feeling in his gut. Two dangerous and terrorizing overlords laugh as if they're humans again. There's no worse thing in Hell.

He chuckles once more and gives a small roll of his eyes before leaning forward and putting an arm around your shoulders. He pulled you closer gently, making sure you didn't topple over.

“Oh, and how you'd hate touching me whenever you saw me after a meal. You wouldn't even shake my hand!” He continues as he moves his hand and fiddles with a strand of your hair. “Though, I suppose it’s quite ironic.”

"Ironic?"

His smile turns into a smirk, his hand still gently playing with a strand of your hair as he signs sarcastically.

“Oh my dear, you really are quite simple sometimes, aren’t you? You can incapacitate anybody to the point of unrecognition right in front of me, yet you never seem to enjoy seeing me when I do. Quite ironic, don’t you think?”

"You're a tad bit scary, and I wouldn't consider myself as scary as you. You looked frightening, and I'm afraid I looked beautiful." A small laugh leaves your lips. Your thoughts flicker through all the moments you've seen him covered head to toe in blood, the moments where he'd just smile and address you like nothing was wrong.

He continues to smile without faltering, his head tilting, and he sits so close to you that Angel starts paying attention with wide eyes.

“And too beautiful, I’d say. Your victims just fall into your lap, imagine a world where mine would! But of course, I find myself enjoying the chase."

Great, Husk thinks, now they're bantering like serial killers.

"Alastor, all of Hell would be extinct if people just fell into your lap."

His eyes were locked on yours, a soft and almost mocking expression on his face. “Let’s be honest, darling. I doubt all of Hell would be gone.”

"You'd save Rosie," you list off people. "Mimzy, of course, if you're considerate enough. Hmm, who else? Nifty, what a charming woman."

He gave a soft roll of his eyes and decided to list more names.

“Ah yes, you can’t forget old Husker at the bar can you! After all, he does keep me entertained with all his sarcasm and wit." His eyes slide over to the cat in question, who avoids his gaze to pretend he's having a deep conversation with Angel.

"That's all I can think of!" You smile to yourself, both of you playing around with the apparent other option. "But I doubt you'd enjoy life without victims. That's your forte down here. Or... most certainly ever."

All he offers is a slight nod in agreement. “That’s absolutely correct, darling. I would probably be dreadfully bored without all those wonderful victims to have my fun with, and my dear, you'd never become one of them. I'd keep you here.”

"What if you get too bored and decide to kill me off?" Your smile becomes lopsided when you try not to laugh. The drink before you finally gets touched as you bring it to your lips, continuing to sign with the other hand. "I'd leave your little party."

“Oh, please. As if I would ever kill you. After all, you keep me entertained when you're near.” He says, eyes gleaming in amusement as his eyes lock onto yours, his smile growing wider as he rests an elbow on the table, his entire body facing you.

"What a compliment," You put the drink down a little too hard. "You know how to make a lady blush."

The same smile stays on his face, not faltering as he lets out a soft, almost ridiculous chuckle, knowing you can't hear it. He replies as if you weren't being sarcastic.

“Oh, I always knew how to properly flatter people!" He pauses for a moment, grabs your drink, and cheers to you. “Though I do believe I like it when you blush more.”

He downs it as if it's nobody's business.

"I can tell," and that's the only response you give to that. "Has Charlie given you any demands today?" You quickly change the topic, trying to keep the casualness from becoming something more.

He leans back from the bar, shaking his head. "Oh, I wish she gave me something fun to do. Something to keep me preoccupied, but I was once again given nothing.”

"Do you have any plans, then? Something to help your forever boredom?"

He pauses, simply sitting in place with a smaller smile as he seems to think for a moment. “Hmm, not a single thing, I suppose. My only plan for the evening was to see you again! That lovely music of yours tells me that you feel much better.”

"Always better when I see you," you try to say but end up rolling your eyes sarcastically, turning away. "Thank you for that. I know I scared the others."

“Oh, please. You scaring the others is quite the common occurrence at this point. I doubt it surprises anyone anymore.” The loud laugh you give him helps him continue, “And of course! No need to thank me, I'll always be here now.”

"Very funny, what a comedian you are." The looming sensitivity of the topic doesn't fail to make me feel a twinge of guilt. It's embarrassing how much you depend on him, though he must enjoy it greatly with how much he edges it on.

“Oh my, my dear, always getting sarcastic with me, I do wonder why.”

"Do you like?"

“Until the day we die."

"How sweet!" It's your turn to cheer to him. "If we died together, I'd be such a winner. Or would you?"

Angel puts a hand between you two and signs the few sentences he knows. "Get a room."

Alastor barks out a laugh while you just smile.

"This is a room! How witty you are, Angel Dust."

He turns to you for approval, and his smirk grows wider when he sees your smile and the hint of genuineness in your eyes; his lids fall down almost teasingly. You focus on Angel's glance at you, where you just give the smallest shrug at him. Alastor continues the chatter and pretends Angel isn't even there. Husker tries to wave Angel away with a warning. If you're going to piss off anybody, don't let it be those two.

“Oh, I always win, darling. You really should know that by now.”

His signing is filled with gliding in a way that only an old-fashioned man can manage.

"You won me over." A blatant confession, but you pretend all it is is a friendly remark. "And you won the trust of the princess of Hell! I guess that's just the charisma you're known for. I always knew you would accomplish something great. When you first arrived, I remember how you started your reputation by picking off overlords like they were flies. You should have heard the gossip Zestial started!" And the most impactful change of tone, "Can I ask a question?"

His smile grows almost wider at your acknowledgments. Good to know he left an excellent first impression. His response lands in his brain, but he considers communicating it, a hint of amusement lingering in his eyes as he slowly nods once, signaling for you to go on.

“Of course you can ask a question, dear.”

"Why didn't you kill me?" Your smile seems to grow. A few days ago, if you were to ask, you would be frowning and nervously looking away. But the rather blunt words he forced you to comprehend last night cause you to realize just how much you've lost the attitude you were known for. When did emotions get ahold of you?

“Now, now, dear, you didn’t seriously think I’d kill you, did you? You should know that the day we met, you have captivated me. I wouldn’t simply kill you after being so captivated by you. Now, why didn't you try and kill me?”

His question has never crossed your mind. Your eyes widen a bit. Alastor relishes in catching you off guard.

"For the same reason, of course. There's nothing better than someone bewitching." You place a hand on your cheek.

"Well, I’d consider it fair, seeing how you haven’t tried to kill me.”

The huff Husk gives doesn't go unnoticed by either of you. You turn to him, a silent notion that he's been counted, and gesture back up to the drink he poured for you again. This time, he makes another one for Alastor. "Oh please," Alastor pushes the second drink towards you. "It was absolutely disgusting."

You roll your eyes, taking a painfully loud sip from the glass and letting out an 'ah' when finished. But then your eyebrows furrow, processing the sentence he had previously said.

"Haven't? Don't you mean hadn't? I wouldn't even think about killing you now." Once again, you shrug, but lighter this time. "Young man, you know that you'd win."

"Well, I'm certainly glad you've realized that your taste in drinks is absolutely dreadful.” His ears flatten on his head. "Did you seriously just call me a ‘young man’? Really, darling?”

"I'm older," you remind, playfully shaking your shoulders, tilting your head back and forth as you do so. "You're a young man to me, never forget. I could just almost pinch your cheeks."

“Oh, well, excuse me, grandma.” He says, mocking your gesture. “Never say young man ever again. Or that you can ‘pinch my cheeks.’”

"So defensive." The drink once again finds its way to your lips. "Next time I hold your face, I'm going to pinch your cheeks. I got to catch you by surprise."

"You'll never be able to touch me again."

"You wouldn't be able to live without it. Don't pretend not." You swivel the stool, ensuring one of your shoulders blocks Husk's sight. "I know your secrets."

“What can I say, darling?" Both of his hands go up as he shrugs. "You're getting rather confident, aren't you?"

Is that a threat? You lean back, eyebrows furrowing. "Aren't you the confident one here?"

His fingers gently grab your chin and pull your face closer to his, his eyes studying you closely. “My, what a cute question, darling."

You two should definitely get a room.

"Maybe not confident," you tease, "Perhaps passionate? I would never want to be in the way of your passions. What would I do if you went all big scary monster on me?"

What a curious way to phrase it. Do you consider it a 'big scary monster' when his limbs contort and his bones crack? That's the charisma he's always loved.

"Do I not scare you, my love?”

The question surprises you a bit; the tone of it unmatches the previous tension. "No, of course not."

His once-consistent smile grows enough to crinkle the corners of his eyes. He shakes his head slightly in a soft yet sarcastic manner.

“No, of course you’re not afraid of me, darling. You’re never afraid of me. Always so fearless when you’re around me, isn’t that right?”

His cracked, sour casualness gives a dynamic much love when side by side with your relaxed attitude. You smirk and shake your head. "I'm as brave as a lion."

"Of course you are."

"Then it's settled, I should have no reason to be scared of you. Case closed." You stand, extending your hand to shake his. "To mutual respect." He stares at it, wondering if he can trick you into a deal at this very minute. He glances up at you, eyeing you closely as he slowly and gently takes your hand.

“Ah, yes. To mutual respect." He shakes your hand firmly and politely. Another day.

"Perfect." You pull away, looking around the room at where to go next. Sit on the couch? How boring. You can slide down the stairs railings; that would be more exhilarating. "You said you wanted to see me this evening? Is there really anything to do around here? Do you just sit and dissociate all day?"

He sighed when you pull your hand away from his. His eyes still follow you closely. His smirk dropped slightly, misperceiving your words.

“My, how cruel. You really think all I do is sit and dissociate all day?”

"It's what you do instead of sleeping. Quite unsettling, Alastor."

"Always awake, my love. Always awake."

"Definitely. Yeah, my mistake."

Your smile reminds him of the decades you've spent together just having a long conversation. It's the type of conversation two married people would have when they get ready for work in the morning.

Sitting on the couch ended up being a good idea. You miss making him laugh. Alastor always looks at you as if he wants your blessing, his eyes remaining on you, watching your every expression and reaction to his words.

It's a unique type of interaction with The Radio Demon, but not a bad one. There's nothing that makes you feel more special than the way he looks at you.

Stop doing that. You plea in your head, and you drive me insane. How else am I supposed to feel?

He crosses his feet when he hears the jazz finding its way into your music. He leans into the couch, smile growing, not letting you know why he's smiling.

[thetriumphantpanda]

Ghost of You | J. Miller (Chapter Four)

Series Summary / Grief is a strange thing. In the beginning it had been all-consuming. There wasn’t a moment of the day where you didn’t cry, didn’t ask yourself why it couldn’t have been you instead. And no-one ever explains the guilt you feel when it isn’t anymore. When it’s just a dull ache and you can finally breathe again, when you can start letting people get close to you again. People like Joel Miller. 

Pairing / Joel Miller x Widow F!Reader

Word Count / 4K

Warnings / Descriptions of grief and depression, a therapy session, some Ellie/Reader fluff but nothing else - let me know if I've missed anything!

Authors Note / You know when I said this would be slow burn? I really meant it. I really hope you guys aren't getting bored but I promise things are going to heat up from Chapter 5 onwards 👀 Thank you once again for all your love on this series - I say it every time but it's really close to my heart and to know you guys are enjoying it really does mean the world! If you like this then please considering reblogging, leaving comments or popping into my ask box with some love! I love y'all!

Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist

You never thought you’d be the kind of person who needed a therapist. Even when your parents had passed in quick succession before the outbreak you’d managed to carry on with the distraction of normal life, processing your grief quickly, distracting yourself with finishing school and applying for college. Even now, when you thought back to them, it was with fond memories. Nowhere near the level of grief you had now after losing Mark. 

Maybe it was the change in the world or the fact that Mark had been a part of your life longer than your parents had? You didn’t really know. Maria had suggested that trying to unpack your feelings with a therapist would be beneficial for you, someone neutral who could help you back to the person you’d been before he’d died. It had been six months since you first sat in this chair, the same feeling of anxiety you had then was apparent now, as Belinda poured you a glass of water and situated a box of tissues on the table, you took one, knowing you’d need it like you always did. 

“So, how are you?” She asks, settling down in the chair opposite you with her notepad resting on her crossed knee. 

“I’m okay.” You say simply. 

This is a rehearsed response. You always say it. Because if you needed a therapist, were you ever okay? 

Belinda nods like she always did, “I wanted to start today by revisiting what we spoke about last time,” Her voice is high and sweet and she’s at least twenty years older than you, “Remember we spoke about doing something to push yourself out of your comfort zone?” She asks, and you nod, “Did you do anything since our last session to work on that?” 

You take a deep breath; how much should you tell her? 

“I have, yeah.” 

“That’s good,” She praises, a genuine smile on her mouth, “Can you tell me about it?” 

“I went to The Tipsy Bison last week.” Is all you offer her. 

“With Tommy and Maria?” 

You nod, “And his brother and the little girl he’s got.” 

She quirks her eyebrow a little, if you hadn’t been paying close attention to her face you would have missed it, “And would you say Tommy’s brother is a friend?” 

You shrug, “I don’t know, I guess so, he came around a few weeks ago and fixed my porch step and he’s helping to build the table and chairs that Mark was going to do before he got sick.” 

“Do you talk to him about Mark?” 

“We’ve spoken a little about him, he actually lost his own daughter on outbreak day, so I guess I feel like he understands what I’m going through.” 

She nods, “Let’s go back a bit and talk about going to the bar,” She writes something down on her notepad, you never really know what it is she’s writing, “Was it as bad as you had expected?” 

You look down at your hands, scrunched tissue in one hand as your nails pick at the skin of your cuticles, “I was nervous about going, and I think I stood outside the door waiting to go in for too long, my mind was thinking of what would happen, like I would open the door and everyone would stop and go silent and just look at me, but no-one really noticed, but when we sat down to have a drink, someone said something and it kinda ruined everything.” 

“What did they say?” She pushes. 

You sigh, “That I’d made a miraculous recovery all of a sudden.” 

“And how did that make you feel?” Ah. The classic therapy question. 

You take a moment to formulate your answer in your mind, “I was angry,” You reply, “But not at the person who said it, I was angry at myself because it was true.” 

“But is it true?” Belinda pushes, “From my perspective, of course we’ve made steps since you first began coming to see me, but I don’t think either of us think you’re fully recovered, do we?” 

You shake your head to agree with her, “I guess what I’m trying to say is that sure, what was said wasn’t really true, but it’s the things they didn’t say which made me think they are,” Belinda is looking at you to continue explaining, “In the back of my mind I thought, well of course I’m recovered if I’m sat in a bar with a smile on my face, and if I can do this then why can’t I go back to work? Why can’t I start contributing to the community again? That’s what I think they’re saying in their heads about me.” 

“But you don’t know that do you?” She asks, “This is something I’ve noticed about you, that you project your own feelings onto other people, even though you have no idea what else they’re really thinking.” 

You nod because she’s not wrong, of course she’s not, “How do I stop?” You almost beg her. 

She shrugs a little, “You’ve got to stop caring about what other people think,” She says it like it’s the simplest thing to do, “Of course not the people who really matter to you, Maria, Tommy, his brother, their opinions matter, but those people who you see in passing, what they think doesn’t matter because they don’t really know you.” 

She looks briefly to her watch, “We don’t have much time left, but I’m proud of you, and if you think you’re ready to go back to work then challenge yourself, maybe ask Maria for a couple of hours a week, just to ease yourself back in, and we can talk about it a bit more next week?” You nod in agreement, “And it’s good to hear you’re making new friends too, I think Tommy’s brother might be someone to keep around if it makes you comfortable, friend’s with shared experiences can be helpful in recovery.” 

You nod in understanding and spend a few minutes agreeing on what day and time you’ll meet next week before she’s ushering you out of her office in time for her next patient. As you stand in front of her office, a thought spring to your mind. This is the first time you’ve left having not cried. The tissue is still dry in your hand, a small victory that you can hand yourself on your journey to healing. 

*

Just ten minutes later you are stood outside Maria’s house, knocking on the door. You can hear shuffling behind the door before she pulls it open, a look of shock written on her face that it’s you. 

“Is everything okay?” She asks. 

“As fine as it normally is,” You respond, “I was just coming back from Belinda’s and I wanted to ask you something.” 

“You want to come inside?” She asks, “I’ve just made coffee.” 

You gladly accept and before long you’re both sat on the couch, sipping coffee, “I think I’d like to go back to work.” You say simply before you get the opportunity to chicken out. 

She almost chokes on the coffee she’d just taken a drink of, “Are you sure?” 

“Definitely not full time,” You’re quick to add, “I just want to start with a few hours and see if I’m okay.” 

“Where’s this come from?”  You let out a sigh, “I’m fed up Maria,” You speak honestly, “Fed up of people thinking I’m useless, fed up of spending every day in the same four walls,” And then you add, “And I’m fed up of thinking that Mark would hate what I’ve become over him.” 

She pauses for a moment, “Let me speak to Kate and see if we can sort something out from next week,” She smiles, “I’m sure she’ll be grateful to have you back, she always complains that Charlotte still doesn’t understand the library system,” She puts on a poor imitation of Kate’s accent, “Jane Austen next to Philippa Gregory.” 

You both laugh and you think it’s truly the first time you’ve properly laughed in what feels like forever. You spend a little more time with her, finishing your coffee before leaving her to it and as you walk down the street towards your own home, you can’t deny that you feel a little lighter than normal. 

*

It’s Monday afternoon, one of two afternoon’s you’ve agreed to step back into the library to help. Kate had suggested it because it was the afternoon that the teacher’s brought the kids down to choose a book to take home. It would be busy enough to distract you and meant you wouldn’t spend your time sat thinking. 

You’d already helped two classes this afternoon, the last class we’re due in a few minutes, so Kate and you were enjoying a moment to sit and recuperate over a cup of tea. Well. Tea was stretching it – it was Kate’s usual concoction of boiled water and water flavourings she could get her hands on. Today it was lemon slices and honey, but it was warm and soothing so you wouldn’t complain. 

“I’m really happy to see you.” She speaks honestly, grasping at your arm to give it a squeeze, “I know this can’t have been easy, but I’ve hope we’ve not scared you off.” 

You offer a small smile, “I’ve actually enjoyed it, I guess my therapist was right when she said finding distractions would be helpful.” 

Kate is about to speak again when the library door swings open and the older children start filing in, their teacher doing his best to corral them into the middle of the room. It’s just as you remember, he tells them they’ve got fifteen minutes to browse and choose and book and once they have, they need to come to the front desk to check it out. 

You notice Ellie is part of the group, she’s hanging back, shuffling from foot-to-foot, but once her teacher lets them go, she’s just as excited as everyone else, picking up books and reading the covers. She’s one of the first to bring her choice over to the desk. You smile as you take it from her. 

“Artemis Fowl?” You grin, “Great choice, it’s really good.” You write her name in the checking-out book and then the title of the book, before writing the date three weeks from now that she needs to bring it back on the inside cover of the book.

“I didn’t know you worked here.” She comments, taking the book back from you. 

“I’m only here for two afternoons, trying to ease myself back into things, but yeah, before everything happened with Mark, this was my full-time job.” 

“I bet you’ve read everything here, right?” 

“Not quite,” You smirk, “But pretty much, if you ever want to know what else is good to read, you know where to come.” 

She smiles and says thank you and just before she turns to leave, “Say, you don’t think you could ask Joel to pop by sometime and finish up the table for me, could you?” 

She smirks, “Only if I can come so you can teach me how to make pie?” 

You hold out your hand and she takes it to shake, “You’ve got yourself a deal.” 

*

 It isn’t until Sunday that Joel and Ellie turn up at your front door. Summer really is in full swing now and it’s warm. You’ve been padding about in the garden trying to clear up, tank top now slightly sticking to your back from the thin sheen of sweat you’ve worked up and you think it’s possible the skin on your legs will be burnt when you finish up for the day. 

Joel heads straight for the back porch with his toolbox in hand, Ellie lingers at the kitchen table. 

“Do you want coffee?” You ask, tilting your head around the open back door. 

He shakes his head, “Water would be nice though.” 

You head back to the kitchen and pour three glasses of water from the jug in your fridge, adding lemon slices to give it a little flavour. Joel thanks you when you had him the glass and you smile at him before heading back to the kitchen to focus on Ellie. 

“Alright, you ready?” You ask and she nods with enthusiasm, “I tried to get apples at the market, but they were all out, so I’m afraid it’s cherries today.” 

You bring out a bowl of cherries from the fridge and put them out the counter, “The first thing we need to do is wash them and take the stones out, it’s a bit fiddly but it’s fun, I promise.” 

You rummage around in your cutlery drawer for the pair of chopsticks you know are hidden somewhere. You can almost imagine the family living in this house before the world went to shit, sitting at their table, eating Chinese food with them. God, what you wouldn’t give for fried rice right now. You had one of the sticks to Ellie once she’s washed her hands and rinsed the fruit. 

“So, you take a cherry and pull the stem off,” You do it to show her, “And then you eat the first one to make sure the fruit is okay,” You smile as you pop the cherry into your mouth, watching as she does the same, “You think they’re good?” 

She’s smiling at you, “They’re fucking great!” 

You spit the stone into your palm and put your hand near her face for her to do the same before you discard the stones in the trash bin next to you, “Okay, now we know they’re good, what you need to do is take the smaller end of the chopstick, and can you see where you pulled the stem out from?” You point to the spot on her fruit, “You just push the end through it and hopefully….” You draw out as you push your stick into the cherry between your fingers, the stone pops out through the bottom, “That will happen!” 

You watch as Ellie copies your movements, the stone popping out through the bottom of the cherry, “Does it matter that the fruit broke?” She asks, placing her destoned cherry in the bowl with your own. 

“Not at all, we’ve got to break them to eat them, right?” 

Joel is working studiously just outside the kitchen window and when you reach the last cherry in the bowl, you take it in hand, opening the window, “Hey Joel?” You call, he looks up from his work and you dangle the cherry out into the open space, he smiles as he takes it, popping it into his mouth before mirroring what you’d done, spitting the pip into his hand and slinging it over the side of your fence. 

It strikes you in this moment that being with Joel and Ellie is effortless. Although they both know what happened and a little about how you’ve delt with it, they don’t seem to judge you, neither of them look at you with sorry written in their eyes, they don’t press you to talk about things you don’t want to and they both seem genuinely interested in what you have to say, or in Ellie’s case, teach them. 

You take Ellie through the rest of the steps of preparing the fruit, drizzling them in a little honey in place of sugar, teaching her how to make the pastry, which involves more flour ending up on both of you that it does in the recipe. You let her pour the fruit into the pastry and decide which kind of top she wants on it. She’s a girl after your own heart and opts for lattice. 

Once it’s in the oven baking, Ellie sits on your couch with her book whilst you tidy up. You refill her glass of water before heading out to do the same to Joel’s. He’s almost finished with the table, just a few more planks of wood to hammer into the top and he’ll be done. 

“Thanks,” He says simply when you fill his glass, he takes it and drinks deeply, brushing his forehead for sweat, you stand with him for a while, “Ellie says she saw you at the library earlier this week, is that where you work?” He’s making polite conversation and you smile. 

“I worked there before everything happened,” You explain, “I was speaking to my therapist a few weeks ago who said she thought it would be a positive step for me, so I’m just doing two afternoons a week to ease me back in,” You refill his glass when he’s finished with it, “Baby steps and all that.” 

“S’good,” He nods, “You seem a bit happier today.” 

“I think it’s more to do with her,” You speak honestly, motioning your head inside to where Ellie is, “She’s a great kid Joel.” 

“She is,” He agrees, “I’m glad she’s finally gettin’ the chance to be a kid for a while.”

He’s finishing up with the last few bits of wood for the table, “You wanna stay for a slice of pie?” You ask, “It shouldn’t be long coming out of the oven.” 

“If it’s anythin’ like the last one then I don’t think I can say no,” He smirks, “Let me finish up here and I’ll come in.” 

“Oh no, stay out here, we need to make sure your handiwork is sturdy enough.” You give him a little wink just to play with him, before wondering whether that was too much. He doesn’t suggest it was, just beams his lovely smile at you. 

You turn on your heel and head back into the kitchen. You kneel in front of the oven, and you can see through the door that the fruit is bubbling through the lattice top and the pastry itself is looking lovely and golden. 

“Hey, Ellie, you wanna take your pie out of the oven?” You ask, she’s folding the corner of the page she’s reading and is by your side in record time. 

You hand her the oven gloves, another souvenir from whoever lived here before, it’s white, or would have been before they’d been used to death and had a pretty floral pattern on it. Not what you’d have chosen if you’d been filling your new home, but you always tried to remind yourself that beggars couldn’t be choosers in this world. 

“Careful when you open the door, it’ll be really hot.” Ellie shoots you a playful look that tells you she isn’t that dumb. 

She pulls open the door and steps back to let the steam flow out before she’s wrapping the oven gloves around the pie and putting on the stove top to cool, “As the expert,” You speak, “I have to say that looks and smells fantastic.” 

You peer out of the window; Joel is just shutting his toolbox and you watch him takes his hands a brush the tabletop of any dust and debris left over from him building it. He then takes the chairs he’d made and sets them around the table. You turn your head when he starts moving to come inside. 

“Kiddo, that looks great,” He praises Ellie, looking over her shoulder at her creation, “Let me wash my hands and we can dig in.” 

You busy yourself with grabbing some plates and forks, handing them to Ellie to take outside, whilst you take the oven gloves and take the pie outside, setting it down on the table. You stand back and look at what Joel’s made. In the old world, this would have cost you a pretty penny and you can’t help but realise how talented he is. There’s nothing to suggest that you hadn’t been down to the best furniture store and paid thousands of dollars for it. 

“I brought a knife.” Comes Joel’s voice from behind you, he’s brandishing your biggest kitchen knife and you think that in any other circumstance you’d be threatened by him, but there’s something about the goofy grin on his face that you know means that he would never hurt you. 

He gives the knife to Ellie and sits down in one of the chairs, you follow suit, taking time to warn her to be careful if she needs to touch the pie tin because it’s likely to still be hot. You catch Joel smiling at you and you know it’s because he’s her dad – whether by blood or not, you can tell that he cares deeply for her and he’s thankful, in some small way that you are too. 

Ellie cuts into the pie and struggles to get it out of the tin, the pastry below breaks and the fruit spills onto the plate that she only just manages to catch the slice on. 

“I’ll take that one,” You smile, holding out your hand for the plate, “Got to break it to eat it, right?” You echo your words from inside the kitchen earlier on. 

Once everyone has a slice on their plate and has left it to cool for long enough, you’re all digging in and you have to admit it’s just as good as the one you made yourself. 

“Maybe I should sign you up for kitchen duty,” Joel jokes as he spears another bite with his fork, “You can start earning your keep, kiddo.” 

Ellie looks disgusted at the very notion of being put to work and you all laugh together. It’s in this moment that you think to Mark. Would this have been your life if you’d been blessed with children? When you’d arrived in Jackson it had been a serious conversation. You were safe. People had been having children for months. They had a real midwife for God’s sake. The lack of children hadn’t been through lack of trying either. You remember lazy Sunday mornings wrapped up in bed together, hands raking over naked bodies, moans and praises spilled from mouths. You’d just never been blessed. You’d never talked about who might have been the problem, it didn’t matter anyway, if it couldn’t be with Mark then it wasn’t meant to be. 

And perhaps now you’re thankful. If Mark had still died, there would have been someone else to care for during your grief. A constant reminder, in the flesh, of who he was, who he’d been. You hated to think of not being able to look at your own child because they reminded you too much of your dead husband. No. Better to be alone in your grief than add that kind of complication. 

Once the slices were finished on everyone’s plate and you’d packaged two extra slices for Joel and Ellie to take home, you’re standing on your porch. Ellie is already making her way down the street, but Joel is hanging back. 

“I really don’t know how to say thank you,” You admit, “You’ve been a real lifeline since you came here so just… thank you.” 

He smiles at you, secretly wishing he could reach his hands out to touch you. He can’t remember the last time he genuinely wanted to touch someone like he wanted to touch you. He didn’t even think he had that with Tess. Sure, she’d been a comfort and he cared for her, but it had never been love. Just a means to an end, a way to ease each other’s pain for a moment. Then he caught himself. This wasn’t love either. Sure, you’d spent time together and all he really wanted to in any moment he saw you was kiss away the furrow of your brow, but he couldn’t love you. Not yet. 

“I just like helpin’ out,” He offers, quickly looking down the street to find Ellie talking to someone from school, “I like knowing it makes things easier for you, that’s all the thanks I need.” 

“Well, consider Ellie and you guests of honor when I can finally host that dinner on your handiwork.” 

He winks at you, and you think you can feel a slight flush across your cheeks, but you think if it is appearing across your skin, you can pass it off as the hear, “Consider it done, sweet pea, I’ll see you around.” 

PREV | NEXT

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week's writer spotlight feature is: @kkpwnall! They have eight Stranger Things and Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson works on archive of our own!

An anonymous nominator recommends the following works by kkpwnall:

driving in your car

love is like ghosts

where's the spark?

if it wasn’t for bad luck i wouldn’t have luck at all

wanted: pool boy at the vampire mansion

KK's works have a consistent feel of genuine, heartfelt, human connection. Whether it’s a big, dramatic scene as the climax of a slow, delicious build-up of tension, or a mundane, slice-of-life tidbit, the characters always feel true to themselves, and their voices are perfectly nailed each and every time. And by that I mean, you can literally hear the dialogues in the characters’ voices—they’re THAT good. KK explores classic Steddie themes in their longfic Driving In Your Car, and they have a handful of wonderful one-shots and two-shots, each and every one of them delving into how much these boys love each other for who they are. In short, KK’s body of work feels like a love letter of the characters. If you love Steve and Eddie, chances are you’ll love their fics. - anonymous

Below the cut, @kkpwnall answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie? 

They’re such a compelling and complementary pairing. Like, it seems like an opposites attract / odd-couple pairing on the surface, but beneath each of their exteriors, they’re so similar. They’re dork4dork, loser4loser, idiot4idiot, they’re both huge nerds but in different ways. They want and need and express affection through physical touch and words of affirmation (I mean, just look at the walking through the forest scene!) Plus they just have this insane chemistry that any time I think “there’s no way they did that, it’s all in my head”, I’ll go back and watch those scenes again, it’s just like “no, this absolutely checks out, they are so into each other from the word go”. And they’re just made for each other! I mean, come on! Matching scars? Nail bat and nail shield? Jock and nerd? They’re two halves of the same coin! What I really love about them too is that they’re both Just Some Guy, they’re silly, goofy, dorky guys! But mostly, I write steddie because it makes me happy and really satisfies part of my brain like nothing else. 

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Other than “Eddie Munson Lives” hahah, I’ll try just about anything written or recommended by a beloved mutual. Mutual pining, fix-it’s, missing scenes, and first kiss fics are top tier for me, and right now I’m really partial to fluffy romcom fics. If it’s got good flirting and banter, it’s got me hooked.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

My absolute favorite to write is mutual pining (aka the love is requited, they’re both just being stupid). Miscommunication is a close second, the kind that can’t easily be resolved with just a sticky note on the fridge. Whether it’s mishearing something or misunderstanding something (even the character misunderstanding their own feelings!), I find it super compelling to write. But for a specific scenario, my favorite will always be Steve having a bad time at a party.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

It’s impossible for me to pick just one, so I have to recommend 3 of my friends: Anyway It’s About Old Friends by @fragilecapric0rnn, and wanna be the only one for miles and miles (except for maybe you) by @judasofsuburbia, and everybody else (everybody else looks like they’ve figured it out) by @heybluechild. Anything by these fine folks is just fantastic, they’re all incredible writers and dear friends!

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’d really like to write more AU’s! I’ve been tossing around ideas for college-aged+ aus (writing them a little older), 90s aus, a cowboy au… Mostly I’m just excited to keep writing them!

What is your writing process like?

Ahah it’s not much of a process. I write down every idea I have, no matter how small it is. Sometimes it’s a line of dialogue or a moment of a scene, but it all goes into the notes app and percolates in the back of my brain for a while. Eventually that dialogue or scene might coalesce into something bigger on its own, or combine with other snippets, and then ya got yourself a stew!

Do you have any writing quirks?

I really love writing dialogue, it’s my favorite way to get inside their heads, especially trying to balance what they say or don’t say, vs what they actually mean. I also love adding little details to fill out the world and the scene. It might not be necessary, but it feels like it brings everything together for me. And I like treating writing a fic like building a puzzle, trying to figure out just the right way to get all the pieces to fit together so the whole thing really sings.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I’m still playing around with what I prefer. With driving in your car, I started out by posting a chapter only when the following chapter was completely written, so I’d always have one in the tank. But that got to feel too much like I was just sitting on chapters for the sake of sitting on them, so I started posting each chapter as I finished it and felt good about it. I don’t do super well with a schedule for posting fics, I’ve got too many deadlines in my life as it is haha.

Which fic are you most proud of?

driving in your car, for sure. It’s my baby, my magnum opus, my kitchen sink fic (it’s got everything). It’s got so much of myself in it, it’s very personal, and very near and dear to my heart.

How did you get the idea for driving in your car?

I wrote a long post about this when the idea was just starting to percolate, but the long and short of it is I wanted to read more fics that reflected my own experiences as an older teen growing up in a suffocating small town, where really the only option you have is to just pile in the car with your friends and drive around aimlessly, because that’s the only way you can get any freedom or privacy. I wanted to see what life was like for the fruity four trying to get back to “normal” while also trying to deal with the fact the world almost ended AGAIN, and all their complicated messy feelings for one another.

What inspired love is like ghosts?

Like many people have guessed / suspected, it’s very much inspired by Buzzfeed Unsolved / Watcher Ghost Files, and a loving homage to ghost hunting shows. I’m a huge scaredy cat when it comes to anything horror, but I love a good ghost hunting show. The study room setting is also inspired by the miniscule closet-sized study rooms in the library at the college I went to.

What was your favorite part to write from love is like ghosts?

Parts of their make out scene was the first snippet I wrote and the one that really got the whole ball rolling with that fic, to try to figure out who this Steve and this Eddie are, and what would have to happen lead them to making out that hard in the study room. It was also the first steamy spicy almost-smutty scene I’d written, and it was so fun to learn how to write like that!! I also just love their banter in this fic, they’re both so sassy and ridiculous and completely gone on each other.

How do/did you feel writing where’s the spark??

Ooft this one was a doozy. This is actually the second draft, and the only time so far I’ve all but completely scraped the first draft and rewritten a fic. The first draft leaned really heavily into the loneliness of the holidays, my playlist for it was all of the most maudlin holiday songs, and it really started negatively affecting my mood and mindset. But I got some really great advice and help brainstorming from dear friends, and turned it around into a fic I’m really happy with. The holiday blues are still present, but there’s so much more love there now, and that’s really what the fic is all about.

What was the most difficult part of writing where’s the spark??

Finding that balance of holiday blues and love was really tricky, and I wrote for a lot of characters I hadn’t tried writing before either. From a technical perspective too, it was a big challenge to figure out how to keep the fic moving, and the party moving around Steve when all he wanted to do was wallow.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

It’s so so hard to pick just one, but I love how this line in love is like ghosts turned out: And Steve is dumbstruck, kiss-drunk, half-fucked.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I have a holiday exchange fic coming out soon (hopefully before the holidays, fingers crossed), and I’m excited to dive into my prompt for lex’s winter fic challenge soon! I’d love to get the last chapter of driving in your car ready to share by the end of January. And there’s a secret [redacted] au I’m co-authoring with a very special friend that I would absolutely love to write in the new year!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Just that I love this community so much. I’ve made so many incredible friendships because of this show, and I’m so grateful to be a part of this little corner of the internet. I never shared my writing publicly before finding the steddie community, and I’ve been really overwhelmed and delighted by the response to my writing and art (especially to be nominated to do something like this!! Truly an honor!). I was, at best, a casual Stranger Things fan before season 4. I wasn’t even going to watch it when it came out. But then I saw all the gorgeous fanart and gifs, and started reading headcanons, and had to check it out. I’m so so glad that I did, my life has changed so much for the better.

Thank you to our author, @kkpwnall, and our nominator! See more of @kkpwnall's work featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer's Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[shaunamilfman]

Perv Shauna this, Perv Lottie that. Where is my depraved girl twink representation?

Jackie runs inside her bedroom, slamming the door shut and backing herself against it. She was breathing hard, had she run home? She really didn’t even process getting back to her house, she had tunnel vision. When Jackie finally caught her breath, she slid down the floor to a sitting position, took off her backpack and pulled a sweatshirt that’s all too familiar to her, out of her bag. She clutched the hoodie in both hands, bringing the soft material up to her face, and inhaling your scent.

The truth is, you didn’t really know she had your sweatshirt. Jackie had sat behind you in 10th period History for over half the year now, she was *just* starting to question her sexuality at the beginning of the year, and then along came you. She was constantly smelling your cologne, watching your back and arm muscles flex through your t-shirts, getting an occasional hand graze as you pass the worksheets to her, and Jackie just wasn’t supposed to fall in love? She latched onto you, to an obsessive degree. Desperately trying to refrain from threading her fingers through your hair, drooling as you groan in pleasure when you stretch your back, hearing you speak to friends in the class and pretending all that fondness in your tone was directed at her.

So that day, when she noticed you had accidentally left your favorite sweatshirt behind in class, on the back of your chair right in front of Jackie, she realized she had two options. One, to run the sweatshirt to you before you went to practice, maybe get a chance to have a nice but brief chat, where you’d thank her for making sure your favorite sweatshirt made it back to you. Or option two, take the sweatshirt and run.

And that’s just what she did, she acted on impulse, and now she has something of yours. She has something of yours that’s concrete, something that will make her fantasies more realistic. Because imagining you on top of her, saying and doing all of those sinful things she thinks about, late, late at night, feels all the more genuine if she can smell you and feel your sweatshirt. She could clutch at it, while she touched herself and pretend it was your hands that knew her so well. The smell of your cologne on the hoodie spurred her on to slip a hand into her pants, and begin to play with herself. Her theft had left her turned on since the moment she left the classroom, stuffing your clothing into her bag, all the while thinking of all that she could do with it. She should be ashamed of how wet she was, if she were in the right of mind she probably would be, but she was being driven by the extreme want you produce in her. She muses to herself that you’d probably love the sound of your name on her lips, she tests it out, calling your name quietly to the empty room, hoping she could manifest you n the middle of her room, feeling just as depraved as she was. Jackie touched herself with a torturously slow pace, the way she imagined it, you always took your time with her, no matter how much she pleaded with you. The way you’d pull every “please” from her until she was crying in desperation. Her eyes are rolling back in pleasure as she brings your sweatshirt up to her face and drowns in the ghost of you that haunts the piece of fabric. She’s not even halfway through her favorite fantasy of you before she’s closing her eyes, and finishing with a pathetic moan that’s muffled by the hoodie. Once Jackie is brought back to planet earth, there is only one thing she’s absolutely certain of; You are never seeing this sweatshirt again.

got way too busy to actually answer this but wowwwwwww. im fucking speechless bro honestly. once again i dont think you need to put perv in front of jackie 🤔. i think it's just implied

something about jackie developing a pavlovian response to your cologne after getting off with your sweatshirt all the time. she's sitting behind you in class and is so turned on just from the smell of you. jackie teasing herself silly every night imagining you doing it for her?? she always imagines you so slow and even regardless of how much she begs for it, as if you don't care how much she enjoys it. something about you just touching her however you want really gets her going. jackie getting frustrated with how quickly she's finishing as she breathes in your hoodie so she keeps going with that same slow pace, writhing against her own hand as it gets to be too much. but she just imagines the way you'd keep going even as she begged you to stop. she's so careful not to get her tears on the hoodie, not wanting it to stop smelling like you.

thinking about working on a group project with jackie and she's practically shaking as you sit on her bed talking about the blank check or some shit. "so what do you think?" and jackies just frantically nodding along because she's long gone. finding your hoodie underneath her pillow while she's ran off to the bathroom...

god that was so good broooooooo. holy shit

[jils-things]

okok finally doing a follow up idea for mole/irene (i will figure out what's her skin name soon :3) (like how her ghost skin is named eidolon)

the mole on nor.ton's shoulder is not just a prop, it's a living to me :3 we'll call them mole jr/junior for now. junior is nort.on's companion, the type of partner nor.ton would ask for second opinion. so imagine him doing his appraiser job, he would estimate the price of the gold, and would go like "what do you think, junior?" and cues to junior nodding their head in agreement or whatever :3 just his little assistant!

one of nort.on's questionable habits in public is if he spots a gem that's being used in people's outfits/accessories, he'd command junior to sneak up to that person and try to take out the gem off of it, and bring it back to him for him to identify whether it's genuine or not (call it... practice, during his off shift i suppose...) (this is also his way to judge people, if what they wear is real, then they're high class people, but if it's fake, then they're just dressing to impress, or whatever. instant low opinion on them i guess LOL) usually mole junior knows how to put the gem back on so it's not much of trouble (they're a very sneaky duo, hehe)

which leads us to how nort.on met irene here! irene was out on a platonic date with her friend emma. nor.ton was on a bench, minding his own business until he would notice these two ladies walking together (irene's face was obscured by her parasol, something that she brings everywhere). he smirked and decided to try the little "game" again - so he told junior to go sneak up on the "lady with the parasol" because he noticed her ribbon had an emblem attached to it.

this would've been easy for junior to pull through, but combined with the difficulty to remove the emblem + the ladies suddenly entered a dress boutique and this prevented junior from getting a clean escape and returning to nor.ton, so he panicked! naturally he'd try to run for his little friend, but he didn't want to look inconspicuous so he had to act cool. plus he was entering a store where he usually wouldn't really "belong" to.

he would slowly enter the place and try to look for his little friend, to which he did (who already gotten the emblem off her ribbon!), junior was about to jump back to no.rton but emma quickly noticed this strange creature idling on irene and yelled in a panic! "irene, there's a mouse on your head!"

irene, panicked, turned back and for a split second, saw this "mouse" jump back to this gentleman's shoulder. he chuckled, and apologized politely. he didn't mean to intrude their moment, he explained that his companion just "got lost" in the building and he had to pick them up. the ladies almost believed his fib, until they noticed junior resurface with the emblem on its mouth - which caused emma to panic; "isn't that the constantine family jewel?! it's out of your bow, irene!"

nor.ton's eyes shrunk in panic. there was no need to identify if this gem was real or not, he's literally holding a family heirloom! they just so happened to be one of his loyal customers as well! and he's not one who would want to get beef with the upper class. he quickly retracted his "lie" - took the emblem off of junior's mouth and handed it back to irene

"I-I mean! my little friend was... supposed to give you this emblem back! it fell off your..."

he would slowly glance up at irene's face, and the whole world seemed to slow down for him... her sapphire blue eyes which caught him in a trance - he hadn't noticed how gorgeous she looked up close, since junior almost got themselves in danger... she looked very innocent. the little chub in her cheeks looked so nice to poke at --

before he could finish his line, emma snatched the gem off of his hand and hurriedly fixed back in place in irene's bow. "thank you, kind sir! this gem is very important to my friend irene, and she would be in deep trouble if it suddenly went missing!" emma spoke for irene, who still was a bit confused and lost at this whole moment.

"... irene..." norto.n whispered a note to himself.

he snapped himself in place, and fixed his cravat - expressing how he was happy to help. irene shyly apologized for this "mishap" and she really appreciated it. again, her presence caught him off guard and made him lose his kind persona - so he just looked away and fixed his glasses. he wanted to leave immediately to compose himself, so he excused himself and bid them farewell.

now outside, he realized he had crossed paths with a constantine. a constantine of all people! he knew not to mess with rich ones, but goodness gracious, was miss constantine very pretty. he didn't even know they had a daughter...

he sat on the bench again, to think about everything that happened again. he laughed, and looked at junior. he wasn't mad at them, not at all. in fact, he was kinda glad this all happened. playing around with gems and gold can get a bit boring sometimes.

but, constantine, hm? he can only assume that she's the daughter of his client that hailed from the same name. perhaps he can ask about this family more the next time his client comes back... :3

[writtenontheport]

Walk Me Home?

George Karim x (gn) Reader

Pt. 4: Somewhere in Between (pt. 1) (pt. 2) (pt. 3)

Warnings/Tags: Bit description heavy, Lockwood and co friendship, Shorter than usual I’m so sorry 😭, This part is more of like… it’s a buildup to the next part, That part oooooh I have something for it!!, Quite a few things actually, but this part is mostly build up, Rising Action kinda move 🤞, Mild arguing and swearing, Slow Burn (LMAO!!) , The characters are quite ooc in this one, They are all INCREDIBLY SILLY ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

Notes: I usually write longer I promise it’s just that I’ve been struggling to write a bit!! Mostly why I took that break yesterday, but I needed to at least get this lore important part out 🤞🤞 I needed reader to meet Lucy and Lockwood for what I’m scheming to do in the next part… This series is SO self indulgent my silly ass is cackling. I imagined book Lockwood and his silly ass and couldn’t stop thinking about the characters acting as genuine, embarrassing people and like— I’m sorry Lucy my love… you got sillified.

Summary: You meet George’s friends and it goes as well and as horribly as he thought it would. Just for today, the library can rest.

When George first introduced you to Lucy and Lockwood, he already knew you all would hit it off. At first you were nervous; your smile wobbly as you kept yourself small, so George linked pinkies with you and didn’t let go until he was sure you were ok. From the corner of his eye he could see your expression turn soft and adoring, grateful in the way you tighten your knuckle around his. From there you found enough confidence to ease yourself into their dynamics.

Lucy adored having you around. George wondered if having her whole life defined by the problem made her crave for some sense of what normalcy they were owed growing up. He was lucky enough to find it with you in the library and in cobble-steeped walks before curfew, but Lucy’s never really had that with anyone.

Watching you both chatter away from him and Lockwood, he’s glad she could find it in you, too. She seemed relaxed whenever she sat beside you, and her voice was filled with more wonder than he had heard since they’d met. Often times, Lucy would whisper something that had you ducking your head coyly, avoiding George’s eyes. He didn’t know what that was about, but the self-satisfied smirk Lucy had after made him rather suspicious.

Lucy would tell him (after he had walked you home) that he did good finding you and confirmed that she had immediately been taken with you and wanted to be friends. Something in George felt reassured when she insisted ‘only friends’, but she did so with a teasing smile that had him glaring at her playfully.

Lockwood took to treating you like you’ve always been one of them, ever kind and charming as he always was. He was fascinated with news about the world at large (ever the gossip), and seemed to eat up anything you could tell him about what life was like without ghosts on the streets. Whenever Lucy wasn’t hogging you, Lockwood was either having you tell your own anecdotes or sharing his newspaper clippings. He certainly looked the part of a child dragging about their new friend to play, puffing his chest proudly with every framed photo he showed off.

When George asked him about what he thought of you, Lockwood clicked his tongue and whined at him for not bringing you sooner. That was a very good sign, but it was terrible for George because Lockwood had gone a 30 minute spiel about who knows what (George tuned him out at some point early on).

A lot of the time you spent visiting, though, the two of them teased you and George as they asked for the details George refused to share. It surprised you to know that he hadn’t even told them about the nature of your first meeting before he mimed zipping his mouth shut and you grinned.

“Yes, well, I’ve actually forgotten,” You hummed, linking your pinky with George’s under the table.

You all moved to the dining table near the end of your visit to Portland Row, eating biscuits and drinking tea. George made sure to tell you about the one biscuit rule, but occasionally turned a blind eye when Lucy or Lockwood offered you an extra. They shot him knowing looks he refused to meet while he focused on the comfort of your voice.

“Really?” Lucy asks amusedly, raising a brow, “From the one thing George’s told us, it doesn’t sound forgettable.”

“What’d he say about it?” You were genuinely curious, leaning in with a wide smile.

Lockwood, ever excitable, added, “Well, it was very strange. Said something about owing you shoes apparently? You don’t suddenly owe someone new shoes just after meeting them.”

“George has never owed me shoes,” You balk, turning to eye George, “And he should know it absolutely wasn’t his fault what happened to my shoes.”

George simply sips on his tea as his pinky squeezes at yours, your searching gaze softening into a smile.

“Have you seen a ghost yet?” Lockwood asks, a bit out of the blue.

Beside you, George cuts him off with a stern reply and Lucy leans in to whisper to you in the midst of George’s and Lockwood’s argument.

“Has he actually not shown you any ghosts yet? I would have thought he might’ve. ” Her eyes twinkled in mischief.

“I haven’t seen a single ghost since meeting George. Mind taking me to see one one day, Lucy? Let’s leave these two bickering and have a day of our own,” You suggested, reaching over the table to offer a hand.

She takes it, and with a smirk says, “Any day, just tell me when and where.”

Little did you know that there was a ghost right under your nose in a little glass jar somewhere in the house; that she had meant that literally.

Lucy and Lockwood send you and George off like kids do with Santa after Christmas; George can’t seem to get enough of your smile all the while. He doesn’t deign the two’s teasing with a response before he’s grabbing your hand and dragging you down the sidewalk away from them, giggling and laughing as you rushed along.

Neither of you bring up the fact that this was entirely new, you simply slid your hand into his proper and followed along with a coy grin. George did the best he could to hide the growing uptick of his lips by keeping his eyes away from where yours focused on him fully.

“That went well,” George says, clearing his throat. You bit your lip and shrugged, bumping his shoulder with yours in a motion that has him glaring at you. It’s a playful thing as much as it is a warning, and try as he might you know damn well George could easily find ways to get back at you if you pulled a prank on him. The glaring eases up quickly, but the tenderness in his eyes doesn’t; it’s almost dizzying if it wasn’t so adoring.

“Lucy promised to take me to see a ghost one of these days,” You hum, watching his expression fall into absolute vehemence.

“Absolutely not. I already have to deal with those two risking their lives every case already.”

“It won’t be on a case…” You grumble under your breath, kicking at a stray rock he watches tumble far off to the side. “I wouldn’t want to get in the way of your work like that. Plus, you could come! I’m sure Lucy won’t mind.”

He pretends to think on it, shrugging with his brows raised in the little motion that says he could be convinced. It’s a good enough sign for you when he finally concedes; “As long as Lockwood doesn’t come with. He’d somehow convince us all to make it some suicidal mission to take down London’s ghosts for fame again.”

“Again?” You balk, squeezing George’s hand in worry, “George, what do you mean again?”

A/N: I know I usually start and end it off at the library and at reader’s (temporary) home, but I just… I had to get this meeting out for now!! I needed reader to meet Lucy and Lockwood it was important!!! I promise this is plot relevant

[o-sachi]

─── A Letter for @littleplantfreak ✦

If you have received this, it means you signed up for Sachi's Selfship Event !

MARI MY DEAREST <3 You and Ume are seriously the cutest. I LOVE THE ART RAAAAA. I'm counting on that wedding invitation. Someone's gotta throw the petals around yk.

✉️ Attachment: ABCs with Umemiya Hajime

[A] Affection It's like a competition when it comes to you two. You're affectionate to him, then he tries to outdo you. Of course, you're not gonna settle just like that, so you outdo him. The cycle continues. You have an affection for each other that other people envy. It's like a sunshine x sunshine situation, y'know? He also gets cuteness aggression ALL THE TIME. You know because he's very physical when expressing it.

[F] Fights He will never ever start a fight with you. If he does, then it's probably over something silly. He can be a bit dramatic when it comes you at times... Although, you do fight a lot over the fact that you don't allow him to reciprocate the efforts that you do for him. For example, you made him lunch one time and to return the gesture, he wanted to make dinner. You refused, saying that you could handle it. He gets all whiney saying, "You never let me do things for you." It's hard for him because he has soooo much love to give and you don't always allow him to let it out. So yeah.

[K] Kisses Ume gets really giddy when getting and giving kisses. You get surprised a lot because he just attacks you with them out of nowhere. Ume especially likes it when you kiss him on the cheek—it makes him feel golden. But he gives you a lot of kisses on the lips. Sometimes, when you're gardening or cooking/baking, he'll sneak up on you. He'll wrap his arms around you and give you a kiss on the shoulder (I melted). It's his way of saying hello.

[T] Time Apart We all know who's folding first... Ume. He's the kind that sends i-miss-you texts even after you've just seen each other. He's a clingy guy despite the tough image he has as the top dog. Besides, on normal days, he does ask you often what you're up to or where you are. He does the same—updating you about his activities and whereabouts. It's one thing that he misses you (a lot), but he's also checking in because he's a worrywart. He's always thinking about your well-being. You match his energy too sometimes. I mean, who wouldn't miss a guy like him?

[U] Uniqueness I think what sets you apart from other couples is the level of trust you gave each other right off the bat. Most tend to be wary at first—trying to slowly let their walls down. But Ume trusted you completely. He was raw and genuine with you right from the start. It was overwhelming for you at first, but you quickly followed suit because Ume has proven himself to be the kind of guy with good intentions. He may have ghosts from his past, but he was honest about that with you as well—like he wanted to fully inform you before letting things become serious.

[W] Wildcard Before you officially got together, you and Ume got really close after gifting each other a plant. You gave each other a rather small plant. Both had tiny leaves and cute little flowers blooming on it. It was quite funny because neither of you were expecting to give the other a similar looking plant (same thoughts ehem). You still have those plants somewhere in your respective homes where it can be easily seen. Ume still sends you photos of the plant you gave him from time to time.

[Y] Yin & Yang Literally I think you two are almost the same person. But in this case, rather than clashing, you two just go well with each other. I mean, positive times positive is equal to positive (wow math). But I guess you differ in a way that he's more hyper than you are (?). He can get ahead of himself sometimes and he needs you to be there and pace him. The best example I can think of is when you're with your mutual friends. Ume helps you with socializing with the others without making it feel too forced. And you remind him to slow down (especially with Hiragi... that poor poor man).

(I LOVE THE ART U SENT IN THE REQUEST THO. IDK IF I CAN INCLUDE IT HERE BECAUSE IT'S NOT MINE, BUT AOUFUDAVHODUVB)

Thank you for participating. I hope you like it :3

Want to participate? Give this a read.

o-sachi © 2024 pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.

[connectionterminated13]

We haven’t talked in a bit soooooo

Any new Elizabeth headcanons that you want to share?

Yes it has been a while. And I do have a couple.

Inferno au-

Liz cannot do ballet to save her life. Like she's extraordinarily bad at that.

Elizabeth used to try to take her toys apart and put them back together again the way her dad does with robots because she hoped that maybe he'd pay more attention to her if she did so.

Every Friday her and Michael would have movie night! Mike would make a big bowl of popcorn and they watched like soap opera movies And adventure films.

Elizabeth used to bake cookies with her mom on Sundays, For church. They used to sing together while they worked it was a lot of fun

Elizabeth tried to "run away" after Susie disappeared to go and find her, William stopped her, Saying that Susie would be back in like a week and that her disappearance was nothing to worry about.

Elizabeth after you're the missing kid's incident Started sitting on the far side of Freddy's as far away from chica as she could get. She doesn't like the way Chika looks at her. It makes her want to cry for some reason.

Elizabeth would never admit it but she was a little bit scared of Evan when he was alive. There was just something different about him she used to actually make fun of him a little bit for being "slow" And stirring off into space. She'd even join Michael in spooking him occasionally.

One of her first thoughts win stealing Michael skin as Ennard Is now she could kiss women!! Since now she was Michael she was technically a man so she didn't Need that plausible deniability thing her dad told her about. She ended up kissing no women though because turns out Mike didn't have a girlfriend sad :(

She went through and was going through in emo phase as scrap baby. Like she's listening to My Chemical Romance on repeand being like "it's just like me for real for real"

As scrap baby she hidden in alley drink a pride parade once

Elizabeth liked to sing and run around her room really really fast when she was bored or grounded.

Elizabeth was going to go to visit her family on her mom's side, The year her mom got sick and later died.

Death swap-

Elizabeth and Susie are semi open with their status as a couple. Like they hold hands and hug outside but they rarely if ever kiss. It's hard being lesbians in the 1990s in Utah....

Elizabeth is a little bit scared of ghosts after getting her organs ripped out by one. Like she tries to be brave but FNAF one is fucking scary for her. Doesn't help that she doesn't like working and hates doing sitting in a chair nothing work more than she hates normal working.

Susie Wants to have kids when they're older like 30-40, Elizabeth kind of does too but She doesn't think she could be a good mom and also gay marriage wasn't legalized yet let alone gay adoption.

Even though Mike Scares her a little bit after the whole scoop thing she still accepts him as her brother and eventually charlie's partner once they get there. Even though it is hard for her to look at him without Illusion disks or human suit on.

Elizabeth cannot do taxes this nearly leads to her death more than once drank fnaf 6.

Lizzie is terrified of the idea that 1 day Suzie will die and she won't. Sure Elizabeth loves her brother and Charlie and their other friends but life without Susie doesn't feel right at least the way she imagines it.

Elizabeth is the professional cool aunt to Michael and charlie's son Gregory. He thinks she's awesome :)

Lizzie and Millie au-

Liz will never admit it but she prefers to spend time with Jen As opposed to her own Step mom.

Liz isolated herself from like having real friends for a long time since she feared that if anyone got too close she'd hurt them the way Her dad hurts Henry.

Elizabeth tries to reason with any horrible monster things her parents have made before like getting rid of them since she genuinely believes that at least most of them don't want to be horrible murder Creatures.

She thinks no one knows that she's a lesbian everybody does.

She knows how to fence! You see William and Abigail put Her and Evan in a lot of extracurricular activities because they didn't want either of them around.

She can and will sit through a horror movie with a completely blank face. She's just not scared easily. For the majority of her life she's been surrounded by glimpses of monsters so movie ones don't really freak her out.

She has a distinct disdain for Evan's friend Andrew because he's annoying and evan start springing him around the house like often just to annoy her .

Elizabeth envies Millie a lot since she comes from a relatively normal home and Can Express herself more

I imagine that Elizabeth and Millie au, Is like a mystery of the book kind of thing. Like you know it's formatted like a book series of maybe 10 books and each 1 there's 1 big overworking spooky monster that they need to fight/figure out the weakness of. (Not really a head cannon just wanted to add that in here)

[starl3ght]

Heyy star love love your work so far and was wondering if I could get a gaz reader hc ?❤️❤️

THANK YOU FOR THIS!! I love this man so much he’s perfect material❤️👄❤️

I really hope this seems accurate and to your liking <3

//~Kyle “Gaz” Garrick hcs~//

A/N: I was working on this a while ago I just forgot about it. Glad I could add the stuff I needed🥹 Currently in the process of more hcs, I’ll definitely post Alejandro or Soap depending on how much I write the this week. I’ll also be doing a little König oneshot because I love bae

Enjoy!!😍✨

Contains: Fluff, 18+, mentions of sex, little angst, just genuine hcs

Minors watch yourselves!!

-

-

• Ok Gaz definitely fell for you when he first saw you. Love at first sight is what it was oh yes

• I see him as a dog person. Will randomly pet dogs on the street or bring a puppy in the house😭

• HE IS VERY SMART! Definitely was an honor student. He knows literally every subject he was ever taught in school

•When he comes home to you and you’re awake he’ll pick you up and you wrap your legs around his waist then he pulls you in for a kiss.

• If you’re asleep he’ll silently put his duffle bag in the living room and walks into your shared bedroom watching your sleeping form.

• “I’m home love…” he whispers sweet nothings into your ear and kisses your forehead then leaves the room to shower

• You go car cruising together at night in the city lights with any nice song playing. Most likely Passionfruit by Drake or some Weeknd

• Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night and see his side of the bed is empty. You got confused a bit but when you walked into the living room to look for him, he was laying on the couch watching the recording of the basketball game he missed while he was out

• He just looks at you for like 5 seconds and gives you a playful smile “You wanna watch with me love?” Why the hell not🤷‍♀️

• You lay on top of him under the blanket and watch the game literally at like 2 am

• Arguments are rare. But when you do just prepare for some heartbreak

•If you have tears streaming down your cheeks he might release some too

•He’ll pull you into him and apologize while kissing the top of your head.

• When it comes to comfort, you’re both there for each other. When you cry he’ll hold you. “It’s alright, you’re ok love...”

• Some nightmares here and there sometimes. You’ll talk to him until he feels better and he hugs you.

• Now this may be odd. But no matter how late it is he’ll take you to the living room and have jazz music playing in the background while he slow dances with you.

• Price knows about you so he treats you really well. Really good friends actually

• Ghost would probably be casual about it. He knew about you when he and Gaz were taking out some enemies and they just talked to pass time.

• “Bloody Jesus, Gaz you really did a number on em mate.” Gaz loaded his gun again before turning to Ghost. “Yea, just wanna finish quick so I can get back home to my birdy.”

• Now Ghost was oddly curious. He turns to Gaz “You got yourself a lass huh? That’s nice mate” Gaz and Ghost turn back to the enemy soldiers, “yea…it is nice” he has a smile on his face

• Soap also finds out eventually and just spits out questions about you. Ghost slapped the back of his head so he could leave Gaz alone. Good job Ghost

• The 18+ now ong

• 🎶Sex, money, feelings dieeeee🎶

• Soft dom definitely

• Will never pressure you until you’re ready

• When you do, he knows how to use his voice👁👄👁

• Focuses on both of your experiences when he’s inside of you and whispers ‘I love you’ so many times

• holds your hands very tight like you could slip away from him

• Will indeed look after you well. Kissing you and in the bath he probably plays around with the bubbles to make you laugh🌹🥹

• ONG BUYS YOU STARBUCKS!!!😭😭

• Literally if you’re shopping and you come across it you just tug on his sleeve and you point at it. He’ll smile at how cute you look like a child and will buy whatever drink you want

• Little pillow fights, might’ve ripped a pillow once and feathers were everywhere in the room but you’re both laughing too much

• He literally has you pinned to the floor sometimes playfully and you caress his cheeks smiling at each other and you lean up to kiss him.

• Gaz is just a sensual, loving, amazing partner in my eyes.

• Would do absolutely anything for you

[bagelrites]

Live Like You Said (Fight Like You Want to Win)

Dream has a dream, sees a friend, and starts writing something that could be a song.

I wrote this just now, just because the short about the music video made me so emotional. I hope this resonates with some of y'all.

“What is this?” Dream asks, and it’s a genuine question. The last thing he can remember was the glow of his computer screen, his phone and discord silent, all his friends busy seeing each other in real life without him.

Now, he’s here. In a field. Dandelions scattered in the grass, a birch forest in the distance. It looks a little like minecraft, and a little more like real life. It feels a little like a dream, and yet, something more.

“A duel, Dream,” the man in front of him says. He’s got the red cape, the pink hair, the gold crown. It hurts a little to look at him dead-on.

“No, this is a sick joke. You—” Dream backs away. “You can’t be here. We… we never met. You’re not real.”

“None of this is real, Dream,” Techno says, and it hurts more to hear his voice saying new words, not a recording. “Now draw your sword and fight.”

Dream sighs, shifts from one foot to the other. He feels the weight of the sword at his hip, but his heart is heavier. He can’t say no, but his arms are sluggish in drawing it out, his stance is sloppy. Techno gives him a look that says he sees it, and Dream straightens himself out as best he can.

“Better?” he says.

“It’ll have to do.” 

And they're fighting. Techno swings his sword like it's just another limb, like it’s natural. Precise as the stab of a mantis striking its prey, firm as a boar digging its heels into the mud. 

Dream is not that. He is slow and easily pushed back. He is stiff like a deer caught on the highway, coiled in on himself like a snake preserving heat.

Techno circles his blade, metal spiraling against metal, throws it from his grip. It clatters in the field, downs a few flowers on its way. Dream puts his hands up and hangs his head, defeated.

He lives most days like this, looking down at his feet. It hurts too much to look up. To see his failures, his losses, his grief laid bare.

But when Techno steps close, he is not gloating, not coming in for the kill. Not even consoling. 

He is offering Dream the sword.

“What?” Dream looks up.

“Again.” Techno says, holding the blade awkwardly so the handle is facing Dream. “Like you mean it this time. Like you want to win.”

Dream opens his mouth to argue, but shuts it just as quickly. He feels tears pressing at the backs of his eyes, but a smile pushes harder. Wobbles a little, yes, but pushes up at his cheeks all the same.

“Why?” he asks, voice cocky, and takes the sword. “You want to lose?”

“Want to win against a worthy opponent.” Techno backs away, pulls himself into a ready position. “Want to beat my rival one last time. Call it the Cain instinct. Or call it a favor. Whatever you think suits.”

Dream laughs, and it’s light, but a little nervous, like he was so long ago, sitting in a dark room with Minecraft pulled up and a hundred thousand dollars on the line. Luckily, nerves were only ever fuel for Dream. He knows he’s coming out of this a victor, even if he loses.

And he does lose, eventually. He puts up a heck of a fight, though, and it’s close several times, but they’re two boys who never know when to quit, and they can’t stop until they’re both panting and Dream is on his back in the grass, both swords tossed away somewhere, Techno holding him down and counting like a referee.

“Okay, okay! I yield.”

Techno laughs, leaps up to his feet, but he’s panting, too.

He’s so alive, like this. Dream just sits up and watches him, posing with his arms up, back to the sun, haloed in white light.

“Technoblade never dies!” he announces, like there’s a crowd watching or a camera recording. 

Instead, there’s just Dream’s smile, and the dandelions waving in the wind.

(When he wakes up, the first thing he does is find a notebook and a pencil. He’s never believed in ghosts or angels, but just like he’s really out there, watching, he writes it bold and neat.

I’m going to live like you said.)

[sickness-health-all-that-shit]

RULES: post the first lines of your last 10 fics/chapters posted on AO3 (if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics) and try to draw some conclusions.

thank you so much for tagging me @gardenerian 🥰💖🥰💖

Camp Bullfrog: God, it’s good to be back.

Heat of the moment: The whole thing happens as if in slow motion.

Broken things: “So, did you have fun this weekend, Fran? It must’ve been pretty cool.”

The man in the van: Ian’s in a good mood.

Lifeline: It starts mainly because of boredom.

The Ghost of Christmas Fuck You: Out of the many things they never imagined they’d be doing in their 20s—growing up as they did—standing in line to meet Santa has got to be first on the list.

Possibilities: It had started with Ian randomly quizzing him about some math problem or another. Mickey easily gave him the solution, promptly rolling his eyes at the genuinely impressed look on the red-headed dork’s face.

The way back home: “Empty the register. Do it now.”

Somewhere on the outskirts of hope: They’re laying side by side on the grass at the old baseball field, both staring up at the starry night sky while sharing a joint.

Revelations: Mickey and Ian have been friends for close to a year, and they’ve been attached at the hip ever since.

conclusions: hm I guess I've been favouring shorter first lines in my latest 5 fics, which tracks. and I rarely start with dialogue, but sometimes it just fits the vibe right. that's it, those are my conclusions lol

tagging some people under the cut if you guys haven't done this yet!

@transmurderbug @mybrainismelted @sam-loves-seb @darlingian @ian-galagher

@too-schoolforcool @ardent-fox @thisdivorce @mmmichyyy

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 44 - Dance With the Devil in the Pale Moonlight

Rated changed to E (just in case). Potential trigger warnings on the chapter in AO3. The sadness arc is here.

On AO3.

***

You find some stuff. You leave. Gale blows down the roof. You rejoin the others and wander out of the stink cloud of rot and set up camp. Gale makes food. You eat it mechanically.

Notice Astarion watching you.

Try to focus on the conversation but you can’t. Everyone is talking and their faces move and their limbs gesture. It’s like watching wooden puppets dancing around to an alien performance. Their words make no sense. Their expressions make no sense. You sit there and float on a cloud and do not taste your food.

The sun sinks into the treetops. Dread rises cold and leaden in you.

You can say no. Should say no. You can do it in front of all the others in case it turns out you’re wrong and he doesn’t take it well.

But.

You’ve dated before. Just the once. Ryan Meadows. Nice dude, one of Sasha’s friends. Never raised a voice or a hand against you. Said he wanted to take things slow. A real history buff and he was teaching you to cook more than boiled eggs.

Until he wanted to take it further. And you said no. Because the secular world said you could (no heavenly father or The Pastor to disapprove of you not satisfying a husband, no congregation to hold you responsible for failing your wifely duties). And Ryan had accepted that. He’d been gracious. He’d been kind. He’d smiled at you and hugged you (you hadn’t got to kissing, yet) and told you you never had to force yourself.

Then he ghosted you.

And you realized the secular world was just as much a piece of shit liar as your mother’s. You could, indeed, say no. And the world and the people in it would hold up a mirror so you could see exactly what you were worth if you didn’t open your legs.

Which was nothing.

No call, no text. He even ghosted Sasha (and she’d raged on your behalf for days, which…she meant well. But in all honestly it made you feel worse, taking up her time and attention like that).

You could and did build you some worth on your brains and your learned typing and filing skills. You got your apartment and a credit score. But you saw it in their eyes when you refused coworkers and strangers alike. How you got passed over, left out. How you’d started catching murmurs (never to your face, that would be rude). Ice queen and frigid, nun and sad and what’s her deal, is she gay—shh!

You can say no. And lose every single chance at friendship. If you refuse Astarion, he will drop you quicker than a sack of rotten potatoes, and the others will catch on. Broken goods. Legs padlocked shut. And once they realize you don’t want to fuck any of them, either? Once that option is closed and you make a bad call, ever?

You cannot survive on your own, here. You can’t.

Astarion glances to you again. You’re pretty sure those are what they call bedroom eyes—the half-lidded thing. Shadowheart catches him doing it and it looks like she stepped on a slug with her bare feet.

It’s fine. It’ll be fine. A bit of exercise, once and done, and this time tomorrow, you’ll have had sex, oh goodie.

But what if he wants to again.

Gale looks at you. Frowns, actually. “Are you alright?”

You sit against a tree in the clearing. Your plate is empty (you have no idea what he cooked). You hold a slice of bread in your hand. What remains of one, anyway; you done squeezed it into a hardened ball of dough.

You can’t breathe.

“It’s been a day,” you say and smile. You make sure to keep the edges of your mouth soft, keep your lips from being too rigid. “I think I’m gonna wash up. Thank you for dinner; it was delicious.”

“My pleasure,” Gale says, and he ain’t as good as you at making his smile look genuine.

Karlach ducks to whisper something to Lae’zel. Who gives you a cool once-over. The giant tiefling looks back at you, eyes sparkling. She looks so happy for you.

You force yourself to give her a thumbs up. You feel Astarion’s stare on the back of your neck as you turn and head down to the river.

It’s just sex. A bit of touching, he’ll probably use fingers at first, if he’s courteous. All you have to do is not scream or flinch. Don’t lie there like a doll. Maybe touch him back (oh god) and participate or something.

Maybe you can make it bad? A bad lay is still more valuable than an ice queen.

You take a sharp breath. Flap your hands to try to dissipate the tingles.

It’s just sex. You’ll be fine. It’ll probably feel nice and there’s no need whatsoever to get so worked up about it, stop being stupid.

Your head gets that memo, reads it over, and nods. Your body launches itself into a tantrum you cannot control.

You undress. Try not to feel so exposed as the wind brushes your breasts and between your legs. There will be hands there, soon.

It is literally just sex. It’s fine. You’re fine. This is nerves, is what it is. You said yes. It’s still happening on your terms, even if you didn’t initiate it. Astarion is, well…he’s not actually a good man, is he? He’s an outright bastard. But he’s funny? And there’s something about him you recognize, some connection you can’t name. He’s seen you at your worst, and he’s fine with it.

He jokes about it.

And he wants you. At least for this, at least for right now (lamed gazelle, the most vulnerable prey and what is a vampire if not a predator—)

But that just means you’re going into this eyes wide open. You know he’s not like, marriage material or anything, and he doesn’t see you as such either. You ain’t even sure he’s capable of that kind of attachment (he might be?? You just do not know). He wants sex, just sex, and you can handle that and it’ll secure him to the group and better secure you to the group. That’s what European marriages were: a political alliance forged through genital contact.

A snort breaks free. And it’s the first pebble in a whole ass landslide. You end up crouching in the river, butt-naked, laughing your ass off.

Honestly, you’re probably about to have a better first time than a lot of people—especially the ones with vaginas. Might as well enjoy what you can. You can even make it a funny story, later. “Oh, my first? Got railed by a vampire bareback out in the woods.”

It’s already hilarious.

You get to washing. Well, washing as best you can without soap. Or a razor; you don’t normally shave your legs (wasn’t a thing, growing up) and you never had the time or the spoons for the armpits. Plus, you weren’t looking to impress nobody.

You splash between your legs. If somebody is gonna be all up in there, it only seems polite.

And somebody is gonna be all up in there. Jesus lord, there’s going to be a cock inside you—

The flush is part fluster and part nerves. That’s what you tell yourself. It’s normal. This is normal. You’re lucky, really.

Really.

Absolutely.

Your hands still shake as you pull your trousers on for the walk back to your tent. You got the one clean pair; you’ll change into those.

The rest is on AO3 just in case, and also because it's long.

Previous - Index - Next Chapter