#I am extremely nervous to post these but fuck it we do it scared

[spect-era]

The loser that falls over….

[likeumeanit9497]

the re-do | m.s. |

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: y/n participates in the triplets' "dirty q&a" video, where she accidentally infers that her experience losing her virginity to matt back in high school had been mediocre. instead of taking offence, matt makes it his mission to show her just how much he has improved since then.

warnings: SMUT; established friendship; m/f oral; unprotected p in v; dirty talk; 18+

notes: hi guys! this is my first ever one shot so pls be gentle with me (i'm genuinely so terrified to post this). it has absolutely NOT been proof read forgive me, but i hope you all enjoy <333

“Guys why am I actually nervous to film this?” Nick proclaimed from his place in the backseat of the car beside me. “No I am genuinely so scared right now.” Replied Chris from the seat in front of me as he began passing out our respective orders from McDonalds.

“We can’t act nervous or else the fans are gonna go even crazier than they already will.” Added Nick as Matt adjusted the camera on the dash. “You’re sure you’re gonna be able to handle the inevitable shit talking that’s gonna come from all this?” Matt asked as he turned to face me in the back. I took a deep breath but nodded. “The more they see me the more desensitized they’ll be. They’ll have to eventually get over it.”

As one of the triplet’s closest girl friends, I had been on the receiving end of a fair amount of hate from their fangirls on the internet. Because I had known them since elementary school, I had been a part of many of their earlier videos when their fans had still been pretty chill about our friendship. But over the past year, a new wave of younger fans had found the videos and had made it their life mission to publicly bash me any chance that they could. It became too much when, a few months ago, one of them decided to spread a rumour that Chris and I had slept together based on nothing other than strategically edited clips of us smiling at each other. It was then that the guys and I had made the decision to keep me as out of the public eye as possible.

However, the guys had sat me down last week to explain how fed up they were with how restricted they felt they had been in their content. They wanted to make an attempt at reclaiming a fandom built primarily of viewers closer to our age, and they thought that the best way to try that was to ignore the petty complaints and make content that they wanted to make. So, since I had been staying with them in Los Angeles for the month, I had agreed to not only be in one of their regular videos, but I had agreed to be in their ‘dirty q&a’ video. I couldn’t lie, I was a bit nervous, but mostly I was excited that my friends were finally confident enough to make videos with more extreme topics.

“Alright guys, ya’ll ready?” Chris asked, intaking a sharp breath while his hand hovered over the record button on the camera. We all responded with a falsely enthusiastic “ready!”, and the camera was turned on.

“Alright, first question,” Nick began after his long-winded introduction filled with disclaimers and explanations for their change in content. “How many people have you slept with?” Already with the first question, it was obvious that the guys were tentative about answering. “Bro I don’t know, next question.” Chris responded, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands. “What do you mean by ‘I don’t know’ Chris?” Asked Matt tauntingly. “I mean I haven’t fucking kept track of everyone I’ve slept with.” He responded bluntly, before realizing how bad that had sounded. We all, however, erupted into laughter immediately. “Okay okay it’s not that bad guys I swear, I just have a bad memory is all.” He attempted to remedy his previous answer, but all three of us continued to laugh.

“Matt, how about you?” Asked Nick, to which Matt simply held up five fingers to the camera. “Same with me.” Nick agreed before turning to me. “Y/n? Spill it.” I rolled my eyes before answering truthfully. “Seven.” I shrugged, and I caught Matt’s smiley eyes through the rear view mirror.

“Alright next question is…” Chris was scrolling through the responses to their Instagram threads. “How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

“Sixteen” We all responded in unison, and immediately buckled over in laughter. “Not all at once though ya’ll.” Nick explained through his laughter, while mine and Matt’s eyes flew open and Chris’ laugh turned into hysterics. “Well…” Chris began before he was cut short by the three of us telling him to shut up. “I’m definitely gonna have to cut that one out. Sorry you two fools, I kind of set him up there.” Nick rolled his eyes as he looked between Matt and I.

Ironically enough, the fans had been half right in their rumour about Chris and I sleeping together. I had slept with one of the triplets before, but it wasn’t Chris.

When we were sixteen, Matt and I had decided that we wanted to lose our virginities to each other. It had been a no-strings-attached decision, and our friendship thankfully never wavered after it was done. Both Nick and Chris had already lost theirs that same year, and we had both just kind of wanted to get it over with. Obviously, this piece of information was known only by Matt and I, and of course Chris and Nick since they had barged into the room while we were in bed together. Even though the vindictive side of me would love to have the fans know this piece of information and shatter their dreams, I knew that the fallout would be an absolute nightmare.

“Okay let’s see…” I had been handed Nick’s phone to choose a question to answer and was scrolling through my options. “Here’s a simple one. Favourite position? Mine’s speed bump for sure.” I placed the phone down, satisfied with my confident answer, only to be met with multiple pairs of confused eyes. “I beg your pardon? The fuck is speed bump?” Asked Nick as he took his phone back. “The one where you’re kinda just lying flat on your stomach with the guy behind you. Trust me it’s chef’s kiss.” I responded simply. Chris’ facial expression turned from confusion to one of understanding. “Ohhh yeah that’s a good one.” He replied as he dapped me up. “Great, gonna have to edit that out too unless you want the rumours to get really bad again.” Nick said as he rolled his eyes. “Shit, sorry Nick.” Chris said, giggling slightly.

“Let’s just move on.” Matt said as he began scrolling on his own phone. “Best and worst sexual experiences.” He read off of his screen. There was a moment of silence while we all thought of our answers. “I had a girl throw up on my dick once. The problem is I don’t know if that makes it the worst or the best though.” Said Chris, earning a loud groan from each of us. “You’re sick.” Replied Matt, giving his brother a disgusted look.

“I mean I guess the worst sex would probably be my first time right? Like that makes sense right?” Asked Nick in an attempt to steer the conversation away from Chris’ confession, to which I nodded in agreed response without thinking. I caught Matt’s eyes in the rearview mirror again, this time seeing them filled with a pleading expression. Realizing what I had done, I silently prayed to the universe that my action would go unnoticed by the others. Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, my head nod didn’t make it past Chris, which was made incredibly clear when he mumbled to Nick behind his hand that was hiding his smiling mouth from the camera.

“Did you see that?” He asked, and Nick looked confused so he continued, “Y/n agreed with you about her first time.” He managed to get out before erupting into laughter at the expense of his brother. Matt threw his hands up in the air once Nick joined Chris in his giggling, and I winced from my place in the backseat; also mouthing an apology to Matt’s reflection in the mirror.

“Bro come on it was my first time! I guarantee you were trash your first time too.” Matt said in an attempt to repair his ego as he threw his empty cup at Chris. “Maybe so, but I don’t have the girl who I lost it to here in the car to confirm it.” Chris snarked back, playfully nudging Matt’s shoulder. “We all gotta start somewhere dude.” He added when Matt didn’t respond. As Nick continued choking on his own laughter, Matt crossed his arms and stared out the window, very clearly wishing he was anywhere but there in that moment.

“Okay okay,” Nick began catching his breath. “We need to cool it because 90% of that what we just filmed is completely unusable. Let’s please just try to make it through this video without exposing Matt and Y/n’s bumpy sexual history again.” He pleaded as he began scrolling through his phone to find new questions.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

“God, that was rough.” Said Chris as we all climbed out of the parked car. We had finally finished the video. It took us an hour to film, and would still be edited down to just twenty minutes of content where we weren’t exposing big secrets or directly fuelling past rumours.

“At least it’s done. It might be a while before I ever want to do that again.” Nick responded as he opened the garage door leading into their house. “Agreed.” Added Matt from behind me as we climbed the stairs to the main level. We all walked over to the fridge to grab drinks, as if the beverages would clean our dirty mouths.

“Alright,” Chris began after a hefty chug from his Pepsi, “I’m going to my room. Matt, Nick, get on Fortnite with me.” He began descending the stairs. “I’ll get on once I shower Chris. I have a desperate need to scrub this FILTH off of my body.” Replied Nick, and he began walking towards the stairs leading to his bedroom. “Y/n, come upstairs whenever you want to go to sleep and I’ll get off the game.” He called over his shoulder as he disappeared at the top of the stairs.

Matt and I were left alone in the kitchen, him sitting at the table and me sitting on top of the counter in between the stove and the fridge. Swinging my legs carelessly, I decided to break the silence first. “I’m really sorry about all of that in the car Matt. I didn’t mean it.” He looked up at me and chuckled. “Yes you did, and it’s not a big deal. I know I wasn’t great back then.” He responded before taking a drink from his can. I smiled softly at his response but decided to leave it be. There was no use in trying to deny it. The sex was just boring, short, and awkward; the way that most first times are. At least he didn’t take any offence to it.

“You know,” He began after a few moments of silence, his eyes shooting to mine as he stood up from his place at the kitchen table. “I’ve gotten much better.” A playful smirk travelled to his lips as he began walking towards my frozen figure on the counter. He stopped just a few short centimetres away from me, so close that I could reach out and touch any part of him that I wanted. I couldn’t tell if he was fucking with me, until I felt his early signs of arousal press lightly against my knee.

My throat was dry, and I felt like a deer in headlights. Even though Matt and I had slept together when we were younger, the dynamic was much different than now. The proposition came about awkwardly, and we were a fumbling mess with very little understanding of how it felt to be aroused. But in this moment, I was very very aroused just from this conversation.

In my silence, he placed a firm hand on my hip, rubbing his thumb across it gently. “I can do just about anything. Just let me know how you want it and I can give it to you.” My stomach did a somersault at his words, and I felt my panties dampen. He used his free hand to push my legs apart so that he could stand in between them, and my limp hands subconsciously moved up to grab onto his shoulders. At the first sign of my willingness, Matt quickly leaned forward and peppered soft, teasingly slow kisses along my neck. His lips travelled up to my ear, where he bit the lobe playfully before whispering, “Well, tell me. How do you want me Y/n?”

His words caused me to clench on nothing and I nearly moaned from the anticipation. With him still waiting on my response I whispered back, “You can do anything you want to me, Matty.”

Without missing a beat, he attacked my lips with his own and I melted from the immediate relief. I moved my hands from his shoulders up to the base of his head, and as his tongue danced along with mine I pulled gently at his messy hair; my own mouth filling with a moan falling from his lips. His right hand traveled up my grey hoodie to find that I had nothing on underneath, and he lightly brushed the bottom of my left tit with his thumb. Suddenly his hands moved from under my shirt and gripped my ass as he effortlessly lifted me off the counter and into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he stumbled towards his bedroom.

Once inside the undisturbed room, he placed me down on his desk, my ass hitting the mouse and causing the computer to turn on; casting a light on the otherwise dark room. He wasted no time in removing my hoodie, leaning me back slightly so he could easily twirl his tongue along each nipple. I hummed in pleasure from the warm, wet sensation of his mouth connecting to my skin, and brought my hand down in between our bodies to softly run my hand up and down his clothed hardness. After a few moments, he pushed my hand away and dropped to his knees in between my legs.

Pulling my grey sweats off my body and pushing my thong to the side in one quick motion, Matt took a moment to relish in my swollen, dripping hole. “I don’t remember you being this wet for me last time.” He smirked as he looked up at me with blown out pupils. “Let’s see if you taste the same.” My eyes rolled to the back of my head at his filthy words, and a moan slipped from between my lips as his mouth made sloppy contact with my sensitive bud. I subconsciously grabbed onto the back of his head, suffocating him with my heat as he continued to suck and kiss my clit. As his tongue worked on my nerves, he released a guttural moan that vibrated against my heat, causing my back to arch at the intense feeling.

When we had done this all of those years before, Matt’s movements were lacking in confidence. He had fumbled around my clit blindly, and had ate me out cautiously as if he was afraid of hurting me. Now, this Matt had clearly gained experience, as my stomach was already beginning to fill with the familiar pressure from the build up of an orgasm once I watched him find all of my most sensitive spots; his eyes blissfully closed.

Suddenly, he pulled his mouth away from my heat and I groaned at the loss of contact. He straightened his body back up to my level and brought his face so close to mine that our noses were touching. “Kiss me. I want you to know how good you taste.” He whispered through his glistening bright red lips. More on fire than I had ever been in my life, I immediately attached my open mouth to his, moaning at the distinct taste of my sweet arousal on his tongue. As we deepened the kiss, his fingers found my heat and he ran two of them up and down my folds to collect my wetness before slamming them into my cunt; finding my spongey g-spot on the first pump with his curled fingers.

My head rolled back, lost in the euphoric feeling of his fingers filling me up, and he watched my facial expressions intently as the wet sounds of my upcoming orgasm filled the space between us. “Holy fuck, Matt.” I slurred, my voice coming out choppy as his fingers continued to relentlessly pound into me; never losing contact with that one spot that drove me crazy. “I-I’m gonna-” I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the very beginning of my orgasm roll over my body.

Suddenly, all of his movements stopped and my eyes shot open out of frustration. In the time since my eyes had screwed shut, his own had darkened in arousal. My body trembled from the sudden halt in its pleasure, and he smirked at me. “You want to cum, sweetheart?” He asked, his kind words a harsh paradox to his sinister expression. Still, I nodded eagerly to which he pulled his fingers out of me completely before leaning up and placing his wet mouth right against my ear.

“You’re gonna fucking wait for me.”

I attempted to squeeze my legs together to take some pressure off of my throbbing, unsatisfied core as his vulgar words scrambled my brain, before he pulled me off the desk and pushed my head down so that I was now the one on my knees. Confused, I looked up to find him gazing down at me. He gestured towards his clothed member. “Go ahead.” I grinned slyly.

My turn.

I had made an attempt at giving him head the first time we had sex. Just like him, I had struggled with confidence due to the sole fact that I had no clue what I was doing. Since then, I had had plenty of practice, and I was excited to now be the one to show him my improvements.

I grabbed onto the waist band of his pyjama pants and pulled them down to his knees. With only his tight red boxer shorts covering it now, the outline of his thick cock and the small wet spot at its tip from his pre-cum made my mouth water. I brought my mouth up to the skin on his lower stomach, right above the Calvin Klein logo on his boxers, and began peppering excruciatingly slow kisses along the light sprinkling of hair there. I glanced up at him through my eyelashes to find him peering down at me with curious lust, his mouth open slightly and his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths.

After a short while, I grabbed his boxers and pulled them down to meet his pants at his knees. His hardened cock smacked his stomach on its release from the tight material, where it left a wet patch from his pre-cum. Grabbing it with my left hand, I collected a pool of saliva in my mouth and stared up at him as I let it all drip down his swollen member. After pumping my hand for a few strokes, I placed only the tip in my mouth as I watched his eyes dilate. I swirled my tongue teasingly along the swollen tip, tasting the the saltiness of his fluid. Eventually, I began pumping my hand up and down his shaft in rhythm with my head bobbing along the top half of his cock. He shifted on his feet at the new sensation and let his head fall back. I kept my pace agonizingly lazy, knowing that it would drive him crazy.

With my tongue, I licked a strip from the base of his ball sack, up his shaft, and to his tip, earning a hushed whimper from his lethargic mouth before he grabbed my hair and shifted his hips. Looking down at me and holding my head firmly in place, he began thrusting his hips as he kept me still. He started slow, but when he realized that I could take more his pace began to pick up and his cock began to hit deep in my throat. I looked up at him through my tear-filled eyes, and saliva began to drip down my chin. “Fuck you look so good with my cock in your mouth.” He grunted out through each thrust. I lifted my hand to cup his balls, giving them gentle squeezes that seemed to send him towards his climax.

As a moan fell from his lips, he pulled my head back so that his dripping cock sprung free before he got the chance to fill my mouth with his cum. He stood there for a moment with his eyes closed taking deep breaths as if he was fighting the urge to finish right then, before he opened his eyes and gazed down at me. “Get on the bed.”

I pulled myself up off the ground and, on shaky legs, walked over to his bed with him following close behind. Once I reached the edge of the bed he stopped me, turning me around to face him and pushing me down so I would sit. “Put your feet on the bed and pull your knees up to your chest.” He commanded, and I did as I was told, albeit I was a bit confused. “Good girl.” He praised me as he pulled me right up to the edge of the bed before pushing my legs further apart.

Placing one of his knees on the bed beside me, he lined his cock up with my entrance; rubbing it tantalizingly along my wetness. Placing one arm around my waist to brace my body, he slowly pushed his cock inside of me right there on the edge of the bed. His trusts were slow but harsh, and the position he had placed us in made it so that my cervix was barrelled into each time his hips met mine. He placed his sweat-coated forehead against my collar bone and released small breathless grunts with each deep thrust. “So fucking good Matt. Oh god.” I whined as his pace began to increase in speed. He planted his teeth into my shoulder as we fell back onto the bed; his body now completely on top of mine as he continued to drive into me.

He lifted his head and looked fixedly at my fucked out face, his eyes glossed over in erotic pleasure. With this visual, I was brought back to the first time we had fucked, in a position so similar to this one. His rhythm was slower and much more tentative, and we were both certainly much less pleasing to the other, but still I suddenly got hit with a wave of recognition in how much we had both grown since then.

I was pulled out of my trance by Matt’s commanding voice. “Move back real quick and get on your stomach.” I did as I was told, feeling the emptiness that came from his dick sliding out of my soaking wet pussy. Assuming he wanted me in doggy, I got on my knees and arched my back; my head and shoulders pressed firmly against the soft mattress. I felt the bed move as he climbed on all the way, and in a moment of animalistic desperation I pushed my needy cunt subconsciously back to meet heat of his cock.

“No.” He stated simply, his veiny hands massaging my ass. Confused, I looked over my shoulder as I waited for him to explain. He had an ominous smile as he moved his gaze from my fully exposed cunt to my face. “I wanna see if your favourite position is really worth the hype.” He used his hands on my ass to push it down flat to the bed before adjusting himself so that he could line up correctly. Still looking over my shoulder with glazed eyes, I watched his expression as his cock sunk into my core once again. His jaw was clenched tightly and his eyelashes fluttered slightly from the new sensation that the position gave him as he bottomed out. “Oh fuck.” His eyes were fully shut now as he stayed still for a moment. Small beads of sweat traveled down his stomach as I took in the beauty of the man who was making me feel so so good.

Getting turned on even more just from Matt’s visual pleasure, my walls clenched subconsciously and I whined, “Please keep going Matty.” His eyes snapped open and landed on mine, before he leaned forward — one hand beside my head and the other planted firmly to the small of my back — and began pounding into me relentlessly.

The depth of this position allowed me to feel every inch of his cock, and it became impossible to keep the moans and strings of profanity from escaping my lips. This seemed to be the case for Matt too, as over the sounds of my own moans and the wet sounds of our bodies connecting, I could hear the gruff throaty moans of his own pleasure. “Fuck. You’re so fucking tight Y/n.” Even though I was aware that we were both making far too much noise that Chris and Nick would definitely hear, I couldn’t get myself to bring it to Matt’s attention, as the animalistic vocalization of his indulgence was bringing me closer and closer to my climax.

“I-I need to cum Matty.” I managed to vocalize as my nerves began to unravel. “Hold it. Want you to cum with me.” He responded, leaning even further forward so that his body was practically lying on top of mine. He took a free hand and wrapped it around my throat, lightly squeezing the sides as my pleasure became dangerously close to bubbling over.

“P-Please cum for me. I can’t hold it anymore.” I begged, digging my nails into his silk bedsheets and feeling my walls quiver each time he drove his cock into my cervix. His breathing became hitched in my ear and his movements became sloppier. Biting my ear, he asked, “Where do you want me to cum, Y/n?”

Without wasting time, I moaned my response. “Cum in me please. Want you to fill me with it.” At that, Matt slammed his twitching cock into me a few more times before finally telling me what I so desperately needed him to.

“Okay sweetheart. Go ahead and make a mess for me.” Even before his words fully left his dirty mouth, I gave into the overbearing pressure in my stomach and felt my intense orgasm over-take me. Practically screaming his name, my pussy convulsed uncontrollably. I felt the immediate relief and heard the gush as I squirted along his cock and down his legs. “Jesus.” He moaned out as his body suddenly stilled. As my legs shook, I could feel his cock twitching inside of me; painting my walls with his cum.

After we both came down from our highs, catching our breath and reconnecting with our minds, Matt slowly pulled his dick — freshly bathed in my own juices — out of my swollen core. With a satisfied sigh, he threw his body onto the bed beside mine. Both of us laid there for a moment, facing one another with glazed over expressions, before a shameless smile crept onto Matt’s face.

“Well you definitely didn’t squirt the last time we slept together.” He chuckled proudly, and I knew his ego had been inflated. I rolled my eyes. “Well, you didn’t whimper the last time we fucked either.” It was my turn to smile as he covered his face bashfully. We laid there in silence for a moment, both of us lethargic and fucked out.

“If that was anything like when ya’ll lost your virginities then I am extremely impressed.”

Matt and I both shot our heads up and looked around the room for the origin of that familiar voice. We were alone, but my eyes focused on the lit-up computer. On the screen, Matt’s Discord was open to the group with Nick and Chris. I turned to look at Matt, who had also clearly made the same discovery that I had, and whispered, “Did you for real leave the channel unmuted?” He tucked his lips together and shrugged apprehensively, before climbing off the bed and over to the computer.

“Chris, how much of that did you hear?” He asked into his headset. I heard a laugh through the mic. “Oh Matt, I heard it all. Good work. I’m a proud brother.” I covered my face in embarrassment as Matt rolled his eyes. “Fuck off. You’re a perv.” He mumbled to his brother, but I caught the small smile that tried to creep to his lips.

“I’m gonna need a fucking lobotomy to get over the trauma that I was just put through.” I heard Nick’s voice now through the mic and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Bro you could have just left the server, you act like I forced you to listen to the entire thing.” Matt argued with his older brother. “You think I stayed and listened to the ENTIRE thing? What are you crazy?” I was full out laughing now, despite the embarrassment. “I left as soon as I figured out what was happening, but I still heard waaaay too much.” Matt laughed now and muted his mic — perhaps a bit too late — then walked back to where I was on the bed, propped up on my forearms.

“Whoops.” He simply said as he pulled his boxers back up. I shook my head and smiled shyly. “We are literally never going to be able to live that down.” I replied as he draped his body along the bed beside me again. Rubbing his eyes awkwardly, he shrugged softly. “Well, at least they’re gonna have to stop teasing me about my skills.” I smacked his arm playfully and he responded by grabbing me swiftly and pulling me to his side.

“You were impressed, weren’t you?” He asked teasingly, as he held me close. I closed my eyes and sighed, “I was, Matt. Really, really, impressed.” He giggled into my neck at my truthful response and I swatted him once again.

“I’m glad we got our re-do. I’d been wanting that for a while.” He said after a moment. I looked at him with a smile and ruffled his hair. “Me too, honestly. I always knew you had some potential in you.” I teased.

“Well, if you don’t want to have to face Nick right now, you’re welcome to sleep in here tonight.” He offered and I sighed in relief. “That would be great, actually.” I said as I began to sit up. “Let’s get cleaned up first though.” He began as he got up and grabbed us both towels from his closet, “You’re not allowed to get under my sheets until you wash my children off your thighs.” My eyes shot open at his disgusting choice of words and I quickly covered myself with my towel. “Matthew Bernard you are sick!” I exclaimed as we both headed towards his bathroom. “Sure am. But so are you.”

He pulled me into a hug while we stood in the bathroom waiting for the shower to warm up. As he rubbed circles on my back with his hand, I sighed. “I think this is the secret to good friendship.” He chuckled before asking, “What is?” Playfully, I smacked his ass over his boxers. “Fucking the shit out of each other once in a while.” He laughed and pulled away from the hug before getting into the shower; leaving the glass door open so that I could follow him. “Shut your weird ass up and get in the shower with me, friend.”

[aristocratic-otter]

Ok, I'm determined to post today, even though I'm way behind on responding to y'all's posts. I'll get to them, I promise! I'm about to return to work, and I'm far more productive on work days than I am on vacation (weird as that sounds). So I'll catch up soon.

This week may not have been the most productive, but it was amazing nonetheless. I got to meet Rainbow! and seven lovely fandom friends! It's been a wild weekend, just in time to have to go back to work :(

Here are six-ish sentences from some of my WIPs!

First, thank you to : @hushed-chorus, @wellbelesbian, @martsonmars, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @ic3-que3n, \

@thewholelemon, @artsyunderstudy, @bookish-bogwitch, @monbons, @rimeswithpurple,

@skeedelvee, @larkral, @noblecorgi, @roomwithanopenfire, @prettygoododds,

@whatevertheweather, @youarenevertooold, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @messofthejess, @blackberrysummerblog,

@nausikaaa, and @emeryhall for tagging me over the last few weeks!

Here’s one snippet from 5 of my WIPs. Cupid’s Shield and Stars, Flowers, and Children are both currently on extremely smutty parts, so there was nothing safe to share. (That probably sounds a little weird, given the most recent posted chapter in Stars has the boys at 12 years old, but don’t worry, the boys are 18+ in the chapter I’m working on, chapter 13) (chapter 10 of Stars should go up this week).

From Saving Simon Snow (also has a chapter that just needs editing and will probably go up this week) (why do I seem to finish chapters in all my WIPs at around the same time???): 

“This is not what I—I don’t—Fuck!” He stops, and closes his eyes tightly, lifting his chin towards the ceiling. 

“Simon, I—” I reach out to him. It’s a mistake. His eyes snap open, and their blue is electric. He puts up both hands as a block to mine and I snatch my hand back. 

“No,” he says, then repeats it. “Nononononono—I can’t—” He’s tearing at his hair worse than before and I want to untangle his fingers from his curls and kiss his each digit to soothe him. But he doesn’t want me. 

From Snow Fox: 

I’d say the man across from me is a snake, but that wouldn’t be fair to serpents. 

I dig my fingertips into the brocade of the armchair. Tarleton can’t see my hands beneath the folds of my dress, so I’ll allow myself that much of a reaction. My face, which he can see, is perfectly smooth and placid, like my mother’s. She’s sitting to the right of me in the other armchair from my parent’s sitting room. Tarleton has turned around one of the plain wood kitchen chairs and is sitting on it backwards with his arms folded over the wooden back of the chair. He’s smiling at us with all his teeth. And none of his eyes. 

From TikTok Dancer: 

This is not good.

I watch as Snow dips and spins, and I worry. 

He told us that he wanted to dance alone today. I didn’t question it at the time…Snow has days like that, where the dance is everything and he needs the solitude to focus on nothing but dance. I think those are the days that he mourns what he’s lost. At least, his dance always seems a little sad, on those days. We still film him, of course. The work he does on those solo days is some of his most brilliant and gets the most hits and likes on YouTube and TikTok. 

But this dance…it scares me. 

From The Rat and the River (Chapter 2 just posted! Here’s a teaser from chapter 4)

I hope that the need for haste doesn’t make them careless. I suppose it hasn’t yet. 

I try to stay as unobtrusive as I can while I watch the team prepare. I can feel the bite of worry in my gut. Snow’s done this dozens of times without the slightest problem, and I try to comfort myself with that, but my peripheral nervous system is not listening to me. My fingers feel cold and faint shivers pass over my skin in waves. 

It’s minor enough that I can hide it, fortunately. I don’t need to put the burden of my fear on him. 

And from my new project, untitled as yet, the following (forgive me…): 

Penny

Simon looks like he’s seen a ghost. Well, I guess he has, actually, seen a ghost.

I know I speculated that Basilton might be dead, but I don’t think I actually believed it. There’s no denying it now, though. Basilton is quite clearly a visitor. I wonder who he’s here to visit? His cousin maybe? Or his best friend?

But no. The whole room watches in shocked silence as he paces unerringly towards my best friend. 

Tags and zen hugs to: @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @bazzybelle, @dragoneggos, @erzbethluna, @palimpsessed,

 @frjsti, @fatalfangirl, @melodysmash, @moments-au-crayon22, @moodandmist,

 @mostlymaudlin, @onepintobean, @raenestee, @tea-brigade, @upuntil6am, 

@whogaveyoupermission, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @krisrix, @shemakesmeforget, @confused-bi-queer, 

@nightimedreamersghost,  @thewholelemon, @angelsfalling16, @mooncello, @shrekgogurt, @cosmicalart,  

@cutestkilla, @theearlgreymage, @alexalexinii, @Iamamythologicalcreature, @ileadacharmedlife, 

@thehoneyedhufflepuff, @best--dress, @j-nipper-95, @letraspal, and @facewithoutheart

[hearts4shadow]

SC4RA N$FW HCS!!

h3lloo :3, f1rst off: tysm f0r th3 lik3d i got 0n my l4st scar4 hc$ post!! als0, i might do zh0ngli or ch1lde next t1m3 :sillygrin: BTW SL1GHT V3NT AT TH3 END, BEW4RE!

_________________________________________

— Unlike what the Scaranation thinks, no, i dont think he would ALWAYS be rough and dominant and make you beg and call him daddy. Instead, i like to think he’s a gentleman when it comes to intimate relationships, well, only if you ask him to.

— He didn’t really know anything about sex, he didn’t find a reason in why humans did it, he always found it pathetic and useless, but one day, his spouse, you, asked him if you guys could try it tonight, Scara shrugged and said “Ah, i will think about it.” So before night, he asked Tighnari about it since he seems to be more experienced, he taught him about the subject, and even gave him tips, and wanted to demonstrate it. /j (scaranari my babies) So when he got back home, he called you and told you he was ready.

— The first time you guys did it, he was VEERY nervous, but still with his usual straight-forward and teasing attitude. Scara always ask and checks if it hurts or if you feel any pain, he really worries about you, even in moments when you’re supposed to feel pleasure. If you ask him to go faster or rougher, he’ll try his best, but will be really concerned and scared to hurt you if you ask him to try any hard/extreme kinks (if you have these), example: Somno, Non-con, choking, degrading, spanking and etc, sure, he would consider on trying it, but only and always with your consent!!

Speaking of kinks, i’ll list some kinks i think he would have:

- Mommy Kink (fem/fem aligned reader): It’s pretty obvious he would have a mommy kink due to his mommy issues, so it’s no surprise if he just wants to be held and comforted by you. He would be shy at first, but would gladly be a good boy for his mommy!

- Now, as for a Daddy kink (masc/masc aligned reader): I don’t think Scara would really have a daddy kink, but just imagine this little puppet calling you that while you fuck his guts, his hands and legs quivering and tugging at the sheets, truly a beautiful sight. <3

- I am 100% sure he would have a Brat Taming Kink: He would be such a brat when he’s used to sex, he does it on purpose to get your attention since he can be a little attention deprived for you, so when you finally put him in his place? Ah, he just melts under your touch! But when HE’S the one on top, he’ll ask you once to stop your behavior (nicely ofc) the second time, he’ll say you’re on thin ice and tell you to stop again, and for the third and last time? He’ll RAVAGE and milk your insides.

- For Fatui!Scara, i think he would have a (SLIGHT!!) Torture kink: Now, we all know he wasn’t very nice when he was a Fatui Harbinger, AKA The Balladeer, so he wouldn’t hesitate on teasing you even in those intimate moments, he would take his little puppet fingers and trail them down on your body to give you a slight electrocution, but not too harsh of course, he wouldn’t want his toy to break that easily.

- (not a kink but eh) If you hc Scara as polyamorous too, he would loove being Spitroasted: Both his partners using both his holes?! Archons, he’ll gladly do it! He likes the feeling of being filled up in his throat and his ass/boypussy. (transmasc scara real?1?1?)

- To finish off the list, he would definitely have both Praising AND Degrading kink: For Wanderer would be praising, he would definitely whisper sweet things into your ear while kissing your neck.

“You’re doing a good job, my love. Just keep those pretty little eyes on me and tell me if anything hurts, okay?”

A true sweetheart, meanwhile there’s Fatui Scara, he’s not new to degrading people, so in bed wouldn’t make a difference, of course he’s not gonna roast your family’s fifth generation and make you cry in the shower, he’ll just tell you what he usually tells his subordinates and assistants while grabbing your thighs roughly.

“Hah, so pathetic, it’s not all the way in, yet here you are, whimpering and holding on me like the little bitch you are. Truly a sight, hm?”

In conclusion: He’s a switch! When he’s on top, he’ll be slow and gentle when you ask him to, but when’s he’s a sub, he’s completely your’s, but not only in bed, for the rest of your relationship, you’re his, and he’s your’s, forever and ever. ♡︎

TH3 END!

_________________________________________

my hu/b4nd :3 (i need to get him pregnant), if y0uv3 re4d this t1ll her3, h3llo and ty! If ur qu3stion1ng som3 kinks iv3 menti0n3d, ill expl4in it ag4in: im a hyp3rsexu4l/i have C0mpuls1ve s3xual Beh4vi0ur, hyp3rsexu4l is N0T A S3XUAL1TY!! It 1s a m3ntal dis0rder th4t mak3s you focus3 on 3xtreme and 1ntens3 sexu4l urg3s, f4ntasi3s and beh4vi0urs th4t cann0t be contr0led, i do h4ve a CNC k1nk and oth3r stuff lik3 that, i’v3 be3n thr0ugh thes3 traum4s and i’m well aw4re that th3se aren’t re4lly h3althy f0r me, but at th3 sam3 t1me i’m attr4cted to b3ing used ag4in, i h4te be1ng attr4cted to it. I will only wr1te st0ri3s w1th my k!nks only f0r ppl th4t can r3late to my tr4umas. Ty, and ily, tak3 c4re my ch3rubs!

[octolich]

I was Scared for Dragon Age: Veilguard.

I take it back, we are so back. The release date trailer fixes so many of the anxieties of this post, Im keeping it up because I ain't no bitch but consider this an archive post of sorts. Ima make a new one glazing the new trailer but for now this is absolute cinema. Nice going Bioware! Still not pre-ordering tho, fuck EA. I want to say before I state anything, I'm still buying the game, I just want to warn fellow DA Fans to be cautious about this game and its potential quality. I could be wrong and this could be game of the year, best in the franchise. I've just got a weird feeling about Bio ware's marketing that I want to get off my chest.

This is just a personal opinion and warning from a Dragon Age Fan. Disagree? You're probably right. Your opinions are valid and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

SPOILERS FOR DRAGON AGE SHTUFF.

TLDR: Bioware has been very sneaky with marketing as well as dodgy choices in design that I do not agree with. They keep on talking about how this is the best game in the franchise and how the characters are the most in-depth yet, but I personally am sceptical. I could be wrong and this could be game of the year, best in the franchise. I've just got a weird feeling about Bioware's marketing I want to get off my chest and warn others about. We're treating breadcrumbs as buffets. They refuse to show anything substantial off and rely too much on "The games good, trust me bro. we've got nudity!"

I love Dragon age Inquisition to death. Played through it multiple times over the course of 7 years (Necromancer homies rise up). I played Dragon age Origins a wee bit and really loved the freedom and gritty setting which was a complete 180 for what I'm used to from DAI. I didn't play dragon age 2 (sorry besties I'll try it at some point) but I've heard it introduced a lot of controversial concepts but ultimately "modernized" the franchise.

Now, I actually didn't mind the trailer! I was jamming to the bombastic song but found the dialogue in it to be extremely corny. It definitely is a major shift in tone from the other trailers but hey! Maybe it won't be like that in the game. Marketing can mislead the perception of a game through the trailer like with Dead Island (amazing trailer btw) But then I saw the gameplay preview.

I was quite shocked to see Minrathous! I loved the city's whole MagicPunk theme and with the floating Archon's palace in the sky? Even though it looked a bit... off, I still liked it. The city looks old, and powerful. I absolutely love that. But then we get to the immediete problem. The Demons. I believe I heard from somewhere that the artists designed them this way to be similar to that of the human nervous system. What I presumed to be despair demons looked creepy with this artistic vision, but the pride demon??? It just looked goofy and not intimidating at all. They really traded how unique each and every demon looked, and went with floating kool aid spirits?

Moving on, Dragon age Inquisition has 8 slots for abilities you can fill in, allowing you to combo them and have a wide arsenal at your disposal. But with Veil guards 3? It was an immediate red flag. Now, I heard from Bioware that Rook can have an ultimate ability, but that is still 4 out of the original 8 you could bring. Companions are said to have a fixed 5 but can only bring in 3. BUT, Bio ware has been said in the game informer to be encouraging combining abilities with other companions, and not with just your own arsenal. But I still don't like the change.

A 60 second cooldown though??? either the fights shall be long, or you'll be a sitting duck spamming basic attacks waiting for your cool spells. I suppose there would be ways to reduce the time with cooldown reduction perks, but again, I do not vibe with this. aswell as following to comment this:

Now, Im no expert on game design, but I loved the combat in DAI AND DAO, yes it had its flaws but I find it was a highlight, now a flaw of the games. To say that Combat was "Uncharitably meh" I find spits in the face of the philosophy of combat in the previous games. DAI was all about about levelling up to build complex arsenals of spells to combo with, and unlocking specializations which further added spells to play with. DAO was all about freedom, you can be a necromancer/pyromancer/blood mage/spirit healer and it would work! Im afraid that Bioware has forgotten why this was fun and risk the chance of making combat one of the worst aspects of Dragon age Veilguard.

Now, instead of Bioware talking about gameplay, they love to talk about companions, throughout all of the game informer articles they talk about Romance, nudity, character creation (I admit I'm a bit hyped about this one though), and the companions.

Again, the wordplay of how Veilguard is even better than all previous dragon age games doesn't sit well with me. Are the previous companions also not complex? Is Dorian not a man who's constantly fighting between hating his father and loving him, while this love is also reflected for his home land? Is Morrigan not a woman who is on a fight between the discovery of ancient magic, the love of her warden and son, as well as the fear of her mother?

I just find it so strange that they focus so much on the companions in these articles, while also keep quiet about the gameplay, spare the game preview (Basically a vague tutorial) and a few pictures. Now, again. They could actually be the best in the entire franchise. I could eat my words and these companions could shake the very foundation on what it means to be a companion, but I just don't buy this narrative bioware is trying to feed us.

"These followers or companions don't exist by themselves" "Your assembling a family." "Everything you do ties into the critical path" "things are done towards a goal." "In Origins things are done just to do them."

https://www.gameinformer.com/exclusive-video/2024/07/19/the-making-of-dragon-age-the-veilguard (blue text is excerpts from this video. There's more but I can't be assed putting every quote into this. You may watch it yourself if you wish to see more)

They continue to use flowery language in these statements. How complex they are, how they're their own people. But where's the proof? these are all just words at the moment. In the 20 minute preview, I wasn't sitting there immersed in Minrathous, (still pretty gorgeous though, love you concept artists and 3d modelers xxx) or sitting there amazed at the characters. I'm just a dude sitting there watching some Batman Arkham knight look ahh combat.

The Video used above is just so much yapping, with re-used footage from the gameplay preview, trailer and images previously released. There is nothing new they are adding or introducing, only saying "The Characters and Story is good, trust."

Honestly? My theory is that this entire campaign is damage control. Lots of people who viewed the trailer immediately hated it (to be fair most of them haven't touched a single dragon age game in their lives) and the gameplay preview was a mixed review at best. After mass effect andromeda? I don't trust them. Not one bit.

I am going to buy the game and either enjoy it or hate it. I don't prefer gameplay over story, I'm a mix of both. I think one cannot exist without the other. I am just extremely worried for the future of not only Dragon age, but Bioware as a whole. I have a feeling that after this, if this game flops, Bioware is headed for the guillotine by the hands of EA (bunch of pricks).

One thing I will say is I like the skill trees!

This type of skill tree I think outdoes Inquisition's skyrim style perk tree, and really leans into the way Origin's does its abilities and perks (which I like more and Inquisition). From the looks of it, you can twist into what type of mage you are, as well as specialization. Control Death Caller? Burst Spellblade? Or maybe mash Control/Sustain together? It really beckons the imagination. THIS is what I want to see. Instead of words I want action! I want snippets! Not reused footage of the trailer or game preview, I want hard proof of how great this game is!

Not only that, but I do have to admit. the New UI puts all of the previous games to shame. I'm a big fan of the prismatic purple UI they've got going on.

I got to hand it to the Artists and graphic designers, It feels like the artists have fully realised their creative vision. I've never wanted a MagicPunk city until I saw Minrathous. I admit its a small thing to like about, but its the small things like these that can elevate a games quality. If there's one thing that I find that Dragon age Veil guard does better than the rest is the UI.

I post this out of love, not hate. I'm terrified that my favourite franchise is going to turn dogshit thanks to questionable choices. Bioware is doing nothing to comfort these fears by pumping out bloated statements like how the characters are the best in the series, and bringing up transmog and hyping up the character creator. Like, yeah? where is it then? are there no snippets? You're willing to post entire skill tree's why not post the character creator? or a sneak at the transmog?

After mass effect andromeda, my faith has been lost on bioware. But I still love the dragon age games. I just wish they do it justice. I will still buy the game, and leave a positive or negative review depending on the quality. If its good then ya'll have full permission to clown on me!

Im uh, still new to Tumblr so I don't know how to end this. Treat yourself to some water, maybe order just eats? Just treat yo self! Thanks immensely for reading this, hopefully you've learned something from this rambling. And hey! If you disagree, that's more than welcome! Your opinions are just as valid as mine. and I'd love to hear what you think and love about Dragon Age. Who knows? we might agree! (Lucanis is so handsome its not even funny)

[donnerpartyofone]

horrorphones...

Like many of the cretinous shut-ins who follow this blog, I hate phone calls. If you call me on the phone without an approved appointment I will assume that you are experiencing a deadly emergency. You will scare the shit out of me and I may not even be relieved if there is no deadly emergency. For me to talk on the phone, I practically always have to write a little script, even if we are very close personal friends. I must have a physical list of talking points in case my mind goes totally blank from the enormous pressure and I forget my entire life. I usually have to have at least one drink for calls lasting longer than a minute or two. I would probably be most comfortable conducting all social business from behind a Late Show desk on which I could reassuringly tap my stack of helpful cue cards. I will write you very long personal letters. I will text and DM with you at all hours of the night. I just cannot talk to you on the phone. The phone fries my brain. Actually, I feel extremely nervous even after a phone call, even if everything went well, even if it was super fun. I kind of have to sleep it off.

Unfortunately, not all people communicate in non-phone ways. I have one best friend (I'm an adult, I don't put the top people in a hierarchy as if they all serve exactly the same purpose and some are better than others; I have a couple of verified "best friends") who is just too much of a free spirit to be really into the internet, or to be brooding over long written documents. I gotta talk to her on the phone or she won't feel loved, she'll feel detached and isolated. I love to talk to her, but I still need to get in the like phone zone in order to not act like the total fucking outer space alien that I actually am. Being me is very taxing.

But now I have this old friend, see. An old friend and also a friend who is old. Actually I have no idea how old he is, he was old when I met him. He gave me my first post-college job (my first "real job" ever, I was and remain an unemployable mess) at his comic book store, where I stayed for many years. The whole crew there was very tight. He is a cool, smart, funny, cultured, frustrating, infuriating, offensive, secretly caring and wonderful sort of person. We went through a lot together, including several years of a random customer stalking and harassing me. We dealt with the police together. We served the dregs of society together. Sometimes we hated each other. But he is a major reason that I survived my 20s.

Several years ago he was in a freak accident where he was pinned under a heavy piece of furniture in his apartment for days. It could have killed him. He already had a well-developed case of Parkinson's, I don't know if that's related. Through a series of different events, he wound up moving into an assisted living place on the other side of the country, near one of his brothers. I'm sure he hates it. Every year on Halloween, which is a little bit before his birthday, I send him a hand-drawn card featuring classic comics characters doing all sorts of demented things, along with a little update letter. One year I got a letter back asking me to call him. OH NO, I thought. I didn't call.

Yesterday was a big, very challenging, in some ways very rewarding day. When I was finally all out of tasks I decided to turn my brain fully off and become spectacularly stoned. I was well zooted when my fucking phone rang. I quickly Googled the number, and I'm pretty sure it was the assisted living facility where my friend is. I didn't pick up. They called back once, but left no message. I felt pretty bad, though I also knew that in my current state it would have been a huge disaster if I answered. What if he died? I thought, knowing that he has a lot of siblings and I wouldn't have been that phone call, and also if it were important they would have left a message or kept trying. I forced myself not to worry about it by popping a couple of Benadryl and making it an early night.

I think I have to call back though. I might regret it if I don't. I have been thinking about this for a long time. I have all sorts of worries. What if he's incoherent now? What if we can't understand each other? What if I have nothing to say? What if he IS coherent but he wants to say terrible things about politics (a life-long constant for him, I don't know if he even cares as much about politics as he does about trolling people)? But also what if he like dies and I have to sit around thinking about how selfish I am for never calling him for all eternity? I'm sure I'm the only person making him original personalized art for his birthday every year, but does that really get me out of everything else?

So the point of this post is to somehow force myself to call him. I have way too much shit to do and I am preparing for a lot of stressful social things with strangers and I need to stop being unemployed and I am cramping up a storm. But I think I also have to make the phone call. Maybe I will do such a bad job that I never have to do it again! Pray for me, pray for the sweet saving grace of personal failure.

[carmenized-onions]

SIGH you got me good with this one I fear

Okay so the chap is still fresher in my mind this time since I read yesterday!! Itemized yap sheet incoming below based mostly on the order they happened

1) Yoooooo

That just cracked me up okay. Had to add. But also like. I love them. I love that Tony is so nervous to catch up with Richie bc it means talking abt mikey, but also relieved and excited ish to talk to richie bc it means talking abt mikey does that makes ykwim

2) AAAAAAA listen the way that Carmy thinks about Tony to calm down?? Like hes having a panic attack and he thinks about Tony and is calmed slightly by smelling her shampoo in his hair literally makes me ILL

2b) kinda related but also like not ?? But Anyway Like. Carmy like unsure whether or not he is actually scared/believes Richie when he says he could end his relationship with tony got me like on my knees in my workplace when I read that bc UGH he has absolutely zero confidence and i just want to kiss his face okay. Also him not really wanting to share tony with Richie is so real of him actually. Like he wants Tony to just be his and that's so sweet.

3) if we dont find out the chip storyline ill riot if only for Carmy's sake cause like Carm, im also now very intrigued that Richie didn't immediately blab when prompted but also go richie thats very cute

4)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Scream break mb

5) last one but like the painting??? The way that it starts with the beef and has like pictures of before and stuff and the mid point is mikey and then it has pictures from like the building process and ends with the The Bear sign? IM DECEASED YOU KILLED ME THATS SO GOOD WHAT LITERALLY WHAT

6)okay im i liar whatever could i edit the post yes will i no. I digress. Last one fr. So the way both their lil povs end with them saying on friday they'll do right by each other??? Im so gone actually wtf

Anyways as always i adore you and your writing RAAAA

HEHEHEH GOTCHU!!! GOT YOUR ASS!!!

yoooooooo -- The next convos are really some of my favourite to write, i get to amp up the funny and math out what their texting styles would probably be, it's fun!!

Also yes, it's very much that part of grief where it's like a knife to talk about them, but it's also nice, it's weird when in the grief process, everyone around you acts like that person just simply Never Happened in fear of being triggering-- It's nice for Tony and Richie to get to talk raw!! Even if it's anxiety inducing to lead with it!!

2. Hehehhehe, he does it a LOT, When he called her before, trying and failing to get her voicemail, when he was having an episode in the diner and then Tony came back and he became Normal mostly. Grounding Tool but it's a Person

3. listen baby, I don't put a gun in the first act just to not fire it. I've had this backstory since chapter two. And honestly, I was extremely nervous that someone was gonna guess it and I was being too obvious. Thank God, no one has, yet-- But also no one's guessed, so like, feel free to throw in your guesses, love to hear em.

4. AHHHHHHHH!!!! Here let's see, during this scream break what can I give you...

This is what I'm screaming over, personally. This is Chapter 10 alone, LMAO. AND I'M NOT EVEN DONE LMAOOOO. The goal for me is to get it out this Friday, so it's like, timely and on theme. But we'll see how tired I am, this work week. Might've just gotten a commission (that I honestly don't want to take lmaoo) so we'll see. Fingers crossed. It's definitely gonna need me to take my eyes off it for a day and come back to, so keep your fingers crossed, for me.

5. OH GOOD! I was worried I described it poorly; there's always that fear, when you have to make the thing that's like the thing of the story, and if it's not good then what the FUCK WAS IT FOR!!!!!????

I'm vv happy to hear it killed you, is what I'm trying to say. I also thought the idea was very sweet. Hehhehe

6. You're always free to yap on end, never fear such a thing. Yes!! Their POVs start and end the same way, which is just like, a cute lil touch, yknow. Two anxious mfs. In the club tnnnnn, trying to do right by each other if it fuckin' KILLS them

thank you thank you thank u as always i love to hear this and i hope u enjoy Friday whenever the FUCK it comes out.

[abbygirly]

Part III IS HEEEEERE!!!! 💜

I was waiting to post so you could enjoy your Friday with Hopper!! I hope you like it, from the bottom of my heart.

Let me know what you think!!!!

HOPPER POV

She must be trying to give me a fucking heart attack, I thought as my eyes lingered on her curves. Fuck, I could feel my cock getting hard just by looking at her. The black dress hugged her mignon body perfectly, emphasizing the curves of her big breasts and all I could think about was getting my hands on her.

-Does your dad know you're here? - I took her by her arm, leading her to a table.

-Yes! - Abby answered, avoiding my eyes.

Liar.

-What do you think he would say if he saw you drunk and wearing that?

-I don't need my dad's approval for what I wear. I am a big girl.

-Yeah, I saw the way you dealt with that asshole putting his fucking hands on you. You clearly didn't need my help.

I stared down at her and she shivered. Her big green eyes were scared and her hands trembled.

-I'm sorry - she whispered, biting her lip and coming closer to me. I put my arm around her shoulders and she grabbed me by my shirt.

-Did you come alone?

-I was with Nancy and Jonathan…

-I saw them heading to his car when I arrived.

-I was… dancing. I didn't do anything.

-Oh, Abby. Did you really think these guys wouldn't get all over you wearing a dress like that? I'm about to have a fucking heart attack here.

She stared at me, so innocent, but I felt how much she wanted me. I know all of the signs she's giving me. And, God help me, I might do something irreversible.

-What do you mean?

-Don't play innocent with me, young lady. I know damn well what you're doing.

-What am I doing?

She moved closer to me, her mouth just inches from mine. I could smell her sweet perfume, mixed with her sweat, which was making me extremely turned on.

-I'm only going to say this once: You have no idea what you're dealing with. If I take you with me, there's no going back and I'm not sure you can handle what I want to do to you.

She sighed, pressing her full breasts on my chest.

-I want it, Hopper. I can handle anything you do to me.

-You think so? Have you ever been with a man?

-It doesn't matter. I want you - she was murmuring in my ear, staring at my lips, and I was dying to kiss her.

I must have lost my damn mind. I wanted to fuck my best friend's daughter.

She's eighteen, but still….

I never felt this kind of attraction to a girl over twenty years younger than me, but Abby was something else.

-Last chance to back away. I won't get upset if you change your mind.

Then, she did something unpredictable. She put her hand on my thigh, caressing me with her nails and our eyes never broke contact.

-I can show you right here how much I want you - she whispered - …Chief.

My cock was rock hard and she put her hands around it, caressing me. I got up from the table, put my coat around her body and we left.

-Let's get you to bed, little girl.

I took her to my car, opening the door and adjusting the seat belt around her.

-I wanna make sure you're not gonna run from me.

-I'm not going anywhere, Hopper.

I quickly got in the car and drove home. I wanted to tear her clothes off and bury myself inside her, but I had to wait until we got to my cabin. A more secluded place where no one could hear her scream my name. I looked at her by my side and she was nervous, twisting her hands and her breathing was heavy. I could only imagine how wet she was between her legs and that made my cock throb harder.

Five more minutes…

I had barely parked my car in the driveway and Abby was on top of me, sitting on my lap, rubbing herself against my body.

-I've wanted this for so long, Jim.

-Me too.

-Really?

-Of course. You drive me fucking crazy. - I kissed her neck, scratching her skin with my beard and she moaned loudly. - You became a delicious woman. These curves drive me insane.

-I want you to be my first.

-I feel honored. I promise it'll be unforgettable.

-I know, Jim.

I got out of the car, holding her in my arms. She's light as a feather, perfect to fuck against the wall. I shut the door behind us and she started undressing, taking my coat off her and unbuttoning my shirt.

-Hey, not so fast. We're going to take this nice and slow. I want to please you.

-I can't wait. I want to feel you inside me, Jim!

-I promise it'll be worthed.

I took her to the couch and grabbed us a couple of beers. The cold beer cooled me off a little bit, but not enough to change my mind. That woman sitting next to me was begging to be fucked and I never let a woman's needs unattended.

We drank and talked for a while, she relaxed more and I decided it was time.

I gently cradled her in my lap, so she could feel my cock pulsating between her legs.

-Feel how hard you make me, baby. I'm dying to taste all of you. I'm going to make you only mine.

-Yes. - she moaned, rubbing her pussy against me -Hopper…

I grabbed her hair, kissing her lips. She tasted like fruity cocktails and it felt great to have her in my arms. She parted her lips and I invaded her mouth with my tongue, exploring her, making her moan louder and louder. She finished unbuttoning my shirt, throwing it on the floor and she got her nails on my chest, giving me a shiver of pleasure.

-You're a naughty little thing, aren't you?

-I've spent so much time fantasizing about this moment, Jim. Every time I saw you in my house, I had to run to the bathroom and touch my pussy, trying really hard not to scream your name.

-Oh, fuck. I could have given you a hand.

-That would have been great.

-Stand up for me.

I put her in front of me, and undressed her bit by bit, kissing her body. My hands roamed on her skin, setting her breasts free. I grabbed them, fitting them in my hands, caressing her nipples.

-Oh, Jim… please, touch me.

I scratched her skin with my beard, putting one of her nipples in my mouth and sucking it hard. She threw her head over, sitting on me again, squirming on my lap. I took my time nibbling and sucking on her breasts, teasing her.

-You're so fucking wet. I can feel you dripping.

I ripped off her panties, and she sighed in surprise. My fingers found their way to her tight pussy and I caressed her.

-Oh, fuck!! - she screamed, grabbing my hair.

-Do you like that, slut?

-Yes!! Oh, don't stop.

I began rubbing her clit, making slow round movements, teasing more and more until I felt she was close.

-Cum for me, baby. Come on.

Abby lost control of herself, throwing her body against mine and having an orgasm. That set me on fire and I stood up, taking her to my bed. I laid her down between my pillows, taking the rest of my clothes off while she watched. I had to control my urges to be rough on her. I wanted to go deep and fuck her hard, but I knew I had to be patient. Let her get used to me inside her, especially with my size. Not all women can handle it at first. I had to take my time with Abby.

-Jim!

Her eyes were wide when she saw my cock standing up and throbbing.

-It 's so big.

-Relax, baby. I'm going to make this feel great for you.

I kneeled in front of her, spreading her legs wide, staring at the perfection that was her little pussy. She was soaking wet, wetting my sheets.

-Abby…

I got my nose down on her, smelling her sweetness and my mouth went dry. I sucked her pussy, caressing her clit with my tongue, nibbling and she begged for more. She was soaking my beard with her wetness but I didn't fucking care. I wanted to eat her up, make her cum on my tongue. I sucked and masturbated her hard with my fingers, her walls clenching on me, an orgasm coming fast.

-Jim!!!!! Oh fuck!

-You taste so damn good, baby. Cum on my tongue.

I swallowed her delicious juices, quenching my thirst, but not my hunger to be inside her.

I laid by her side, pulling her close and we started kissing again. My hands were all over her body. I felt her juices running down my cock, and I tried to fit the head inside her.

-Relax.

Abby looked at me, expectantly, breathing hard. I was kissing her forehead, her cheeks and her lips, so she could relax. I was pressing the head inside her, slowly opening a way for me. I supported my weight on my arms, so she could be more comfortable. Abby surprised me by moving her hips trying to keep up with my pace, moving against my cock and it felt fantastic.

-I want you inside me right now. All of you, Hopper.

I couldn't hold back anymore. I kissed her hard, telling her to take a deep breath, invading her with my cock.

-Oh!!

-Take deep breaths. It's ok.

-I want you deeper, Jim.

-Stop teasing me, young lady.

She laughed, getting braver, embracing my waist with her legs, making my cock slide even deeper.

-How does that feel?

-Fucking amazing, Hopper. I want more!

We kept the same pace, our heavy breathing and moaning the only thing we could hear. I started to thrust faster and deeper inside her and she was squirming beneath me.

It was definitely the best fuck of my life. We stared into each other's eyes, having orgasms together and I felt complete, like I have found what I've been missing.

-Jim! That was…

-Epic. - I said and we laughed.

Abby got on top of me, a sight from the heavens. I could swear I died and was seeing an angel.

-I want more, Chief Hopper. All night.

[bluberimufim]

The Sheep

Wassup. I realized I can post snippets literally whenever I want without there being a tag game as an excuse. Soooooo I decided to share a snippet from "Devourer of Souls" that I just wrote and am pretty proud of. I even gave it a title for the purpose of this post bc I'm Fancy like that.

trigger warnings: horror, animal death, animal body horror, vomit, gore mention

This snippet is nothing like the rest of DoS in terms of vibes. Please don't be scared. I promise this story is (mildly) normal. This also technically has a lot of context behind it but I like this bit and it works somewhat independently so fuck it we ball!

Taglist: @wildswrites and @little-mouse-gardens

(I tried to post this multiple times but tumblr stopped me, so I's like to thank the nice people who helped me, @ellierenae and @owlsandwich, they were very lovely <3)

Some days later, at the market, the sister whose arm she'd healed approached Seth. She had a messy air about her, with bags under her eyes and thrown-on clothes. Her expression showed panic she seemed to be trying to hide, with little success.

"Seth..." she began, hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"I have a... strange request for you."

Seth raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

"What is it?"

The woman seemed to grow more nervous.

"Can you heal sheep?"

She stared at her for a moment, still processing the words.

Heal sheep?

"I must confess I've never attempted it, but I can try now."

The woman nodded.

"Thank you. Come with me, please."

Still a bit confused, Seth followed her, giving Theo a signal to do the same.

They already knew the path to that house. They'd traversed it less than a week ago. But now, the farm seemed to be steeped in silence. It took her a while to identify what was missing, but, when she did, she felt a chill creep up her back.

The sheep, she noticed, were quiet.

With grave steps, the sister guided them to the stable.

Was there a disease among livestock? She'd heard of them, but, in all of her time living there, she'd never been through one. She'd heard it said, from the oldest inhabitants of the town, that they were almost always devastating and that they could ruin the town for months – sometimes, years.

She took a deep breath. If she could heal people, she could heal animals. The life force that flowed through all living things was the same. Healing magic should work on them.

When she was about to enter the stable, she was pulled back. Theo held her wrist tightly, stopping her from going any further.

"Theo..."

"Something's wrong with the sheep," she whispered. "Their bodies..."

"Can you see if it's a disease?" she asked, also in a low voice.

"They weren't sick when we came here. If it's a disease, it acts extremely fast. Their state... it's not natural...

"Not natural? How?"

"Their organs, Seth. They're all... I can't describe it... They're distorted. I can feel them. I can feel the shape they are inside, and that shape doesn't make sense."

Theo loosened her grip on Seth's wrist and she took the opportunity to hold her hand and squeeze it.

"I have to check. If it's a disease, I should eliminate it now. It could put the whole town in danger."

Theo nodded and let her go, but she seemed reluctant to do so.

As she grew closer, Seth noticed a stain on the floor, right in front of the divide where she knew the sheep slept. It was hard to discern from that distance, spread over the irregular straw. When she was close enough to tell what it was, she had to force herself not to trip.

Blood. In a trail leading to the sheep.

"I think it's an illness," said the woman, with her eyes trained on something inside the divide. "But it's much more horrible than any I've ever seen."

Seth reached out with her magic. She could feel the souls of the sheep, although weak. Something was interfering with them.

"Please be careful," the woman asked. "I don't think it's contagious for humans, but..."

Seth finally reached the other side of the divide. She had to swallow the scream that threatened to escape her throat.

The sheep were lying on the floor, some with their bellies up. Their paws were stretched before them, with some contorting in painful spasms. Their eyes were blown wide, but they were looking at nothing, as if they were blind. Their mouths were open, ready to scream, but they made no sound.

Through their sheared skins, she could see shapes trying to pierce them. Some were thin and sharp, like broken bones, but some were made of soft flesh and muscle, almost like bubbles. And some of their organs appeared to have changed places. One of the sheep, closest to the entrance, seemed to have a heart where its stomach should be, stretching the skin every time it beat. Another, in a corner, had its ribs turned upside down, jutting out of its back. Another still, clearly dead, had wool growing out of its mouth and nose and, by the shape of the bulges that filled its abdomen, on the inside of its body too.

The sheep spasmed in agony, turned into something that only vaguely looked like an animal. Their mouths remained open and their eyes wide.

Seth had seen many horrible things when she'd been at the hospital, near the front lines of the war. She'd seen men disfigured, burnt, missing limbs. But this was the first time one of those things had made her puke.

After she emptied her stomach onto the straw, still heaving and with her back turned to those horrifying sheep, she felt a hand on her back. When she straightened, she was hugged from behind and let herself slump onto Theo's chest, comforted by the presence of that soul with hints of divinity.

"You saw them too, right?" she asked.

Theo said nothing, but she felt her nod against her hair.

"How are you taking this so calmly?"

Theo still did not respond, pulling her closer.

"Um... Seth?" called the woman who'd taken them there, her voice shaking. "Can you heal them?"

She vehemently shook her head.

"No," she replied, breathless. "Each one of these sheep would need a huge amount of energy just to make them look close to normal again." She turned to the woman, who took a step back. "End their suffering. Buy new sheep."

Everything I touch turns to supernatural horror. Help.

Btw the sheep thing is 100% Theo's doing (but on accident). She just came back from the Plane of the Gods and has divine body horror powers. Not my fault where my ideas are taking me. B&W originally also wasn't horror but then it just happened, ok?

Please tell me if you feel the snippet is too long. It feels a bit big, but I wanted to include the whole scene. I've never posted a snippet like this before. Still a bit confused about what to do.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Can't wait to share more snippets!!

[ryttu3k]

So this next update is from the Gauntlet of Shar through to the end of act 2 and I have *checks* 690 caps so. This'll go fine.

We head into the (creepy, creepy) Gauntlet. Well, first the tomb, which confirmed a theory, then to the Gauntlet. Shadowheart talks about the tasks required to become a Dark Justiciar and everyone exchanges nervous glances hearing about a sacrifice, because. It's fine. This is fine, right.

I feel the highlighted text is basically the arc line for every companion story.

Just going to transcribe this bit because... image limit, but there was a very interesting exchange between Shadowheart and Halsin here:

Shadowheart: "Lady Shar… so many must have toiled to make a visage so grand. It's beautiful…" Halsin: "Shar's armies of destruction arose from within these halls." Shadowheart: "Those who do not listen to the reason of Lady Shar's words must instead feel the keenness of her blade." Halsin: "You sound like a student - reciting words for a test without considering their meaning." Shadowheart: "I've considered them plenty. Besides, Lady Shar favours actions over words. Try it out, sometime."

Huh!

Balthazar confirmed for creepy. "We're still close. She's in a jar on the shelf over there :)"

Did the first trial, the invisible path one. Shadowheart died several times. I savescummed and used a guide until I got it right. Next, the battle with the orthon. Not sure if it was a glitch but I didn't even get the chance to talk to the guy, alas. Wyll came in very handy here, since he levelled up to 11 just in time to learn a portal spell, so we could basically sneak up.

Astarion: "The orthon is nothing. I'll have my satisfaction when Raphael makes good on his word." Tae: "Repeat after me: Thank you for helping me, it was very kind." Astarion: "Hmm. Hrmmm. Thank you for helping me, it was very kind :|"

Marvellous facial expression here. But no disapproval!

Then, speak of the devil - here's Raphael, here to deliver his promise to Astarion, telling him what the scars mean. tfw you find out you have an infernal pact meant to kill you and elevate your abuser of two centuries to extreme never-before-seen power.

Astarion: "Hmm…" Tae: "Cazador is a piece of shit. We're going to stop him." Astarion: "Do you think it's so simple?" Tae: "You'll never be free while Cazador lives." Astarion: "I hate how right you are. I knew he wouldn't leave me alone even when I was just another wretched toy for him to play with. But if I'm the key to this power he craves, he'll hunt me to the ends of Faerûn. I need to take the fight to him. And I need you to help me." Tae: "Of course I'll help. We'll hunt him down and kill him." Astarion: "Thank you."

Yeah I am thinking thoughts about that, "I need you to help me" part and the, "I'm not used to asking for help and being met with, well... help" line (when Raphael reveals his scars). Yeah, he's scared out of his mind over what Cazador has the power to do to him, and it could just be sheer desperation, but it could also be that he is starting to trust his friends.

One of my favourite parts, now - the companions have their say. My favourite response is from Karlach, as seen in this post, but they're all. So good <3 Fuck you, Cazador, you're not touching our friend! Here's all of them:

Karlach: "Wish I could say I was surprised about Cazador's pact. Where blood, death, and betrayal parade, you can bet your arse a devil is riding grand marshal. We're going to keep Astarion safe. On my life, Cazador won't touch him."

Lae'zel: "Full-fledged vampires are not so easily slain. Astarion's master will be no exception. Fortunate for him, slaying monstrous fanatics is a pastime of ours."

Gale: "I can't imagine how Astarion must be feeling. The terms of your own condemnation carved into your skin… A monster's actions. And monsters do not deserve such power as that ritual promised. When the time comes, Astarion will have his revenge, I'm sure. And it will be richly deserved."

Shadowheart: "It seems like Cazador used Astarion's flesh not as a canvas, but as a contract. We haven't heard the last of this, I'll wager."

Wyll: "Our very own vampire's the missing pawn in his master's deadly game. Now how about we go and reverse Cazador's fortunes?"

Back to the Gauntlet! We complete the other two trials, albeit not just with Shadowheart - Astarion does the sneaking one on his own, and, well, the whole squad goes in for the duplicate one, haha. Then... it's time to jump into the Shadowfell, to find this relic to stop Ketheric, and for Shadowheart to do the last part of the Gauntlet, to become a Dark Justiciar.

Naturally, it doesn't run smoothly. Shadowheart declares that Balthazar has interfered in Shar's plans for too long, and it's time for a fight! We beat him, and that leaves... Shadowheart, to face off with the relic keeping Ketheric alive, and her intended sacrifice to become a Dark Justiciar: Aylin, the Nightsong, daughter of Selûne.

Funny how those things so often coincide. Training the weapons of Shar on the undying body of her own niece, and also the one directly connected with the plot.

Had to do a reset here, because I was nooot going to pass that DC 30 persuasion check (the correct method is to trust Shadowheart to her own actions, let Aylin talk to her, then pass the now-DC 21 check. If you talk to her after failing the DC 30 one, you have to fight and kill her. Not ideal!!). Still had to ask a pointed question, though - "Is this what you truly want?"

(Arc words!!)

Shadowheart is convinced - and hurls the spear she received from the Gauntlet into the void. Then freaks a little because oh god oh fuck she defied her goddess.

Aylin proceeds to steal the show by producing a shining set of armour and a big set of wings, nbd you see that all the time. She gives Shadowheart a Selûnite spear to replace the one she discarded, and then gives the next mission:

Onwards! We return to the outside of the Gauntlet - only to find that in those few seconds, Shadowheart has been blocked from leaving by Shar then tortured and banished holy shit ;_;

Larian why did you not give me an option to say, "You're not alone, you'll never have to be alone again, you have us"? ;_; Once again, the companions can voice that, but damn, I really wanted to tell her. Here are their comments:

Halsin: "Shar's ire has shaken Shadowheart… and yet she goes on. There is untold strength there, I feel."

Wyll: "She called Shadowheart 'nothing'. But I know better than that. She is something. She is worthy, she is strong. She is Shadowheart. Nothing can take the her from her. Not even a goddess."

Astarion: "I suppose it was only a matter of time until Shar took vengeance. For the Lady of Loss, she does not like losing."

Karlach: "I hate seeing Shadowheart suffer like this. All for doing the right thing. It's up to us to look after her now. If she needs a rest, we carry her. If she needs a hand, she has ours. If she needs ears, we've got four between us. Whatever she needs."

Lae'zel: "Shadowheart suffers. You might be surprised, but - it pains me to see."

Gale: "Poor Shadowheart. The gods are nothing if not vindictive in their vengeance."

Best lines here go to Karlach (again) and Wyll. So much love and support! And even Lae'zel!

Still, there's a fight ahead! We hurry back to Moonrise Tower, where there are fights ahead, battling our way to the top to get to Ketheric. Tae tries to extend mercy, understanding what happened to his wife; neither Ketheric nor Aylin are having it, and Ketheric strikes out. Tae and the others are saved with the Prism - and that, unfortunately, reveals that, yes, Tae has the Prism.

Whoops.

(I really like this cap the lighting is so pretty here.)

Big fight. Followed by big tentacle. Followed by big complaint.

Sorry Astarion you may need some new boots after that.

Lae'zel: "We must be ready to confront the elder brain. One presides over every ghaik colony." Astarion: "No problem. And what does this old brain look like?" Lae'zel: "A hovering mass of grey matter, sprouted with lethal tentacles and oozing cerebrospinal fluid?" Astarion, having a day: "Right!! Good!! Glad I asked!!!"

First up, a meeting with Chop. This is... depressing. Free at last, Chop.

Also free: kitty :) Welcome back, Us!

Also depressing: the fact that there are letters to the Absolute from children oh god what the fuck.

Over to the tadpoling centre, where we find Zariel's asset - Mizora herself. Who proceeds to say she'll free Wyll... within the next six months or so. Man c'mon.

To mixed approval (Shadowheart and Halsin's) and disapproval (Lae'zel and Astarion's), we also free the others in the tanks. This includes Zevlor, and Fist members - and a few fully-grown newborn Mind Flayers whoops.

Win the battle, talk to Zevlor to work out what the actual fuck happened. It's not pretty, but Tae tries to be understanding.

Another excursion, this time to some kind of lab. Get a neat sword! There are some interesting brain jars we can interact with, genuinely curious to see what response you'd get from the brain jars from the Nautilus. Oh well. Get a nice permanent boost to Int rolls!

Into the depths of the colony, then, where Gortash fled to. He's there, yes - as are Orin, a pale, creepy-looking woman, and... Enver Gortash, the one who betrayed Karlach to Zariel.

They reveal, then, the Absolute - an Elder Brain, controlled by an immensely powerful Netherese crown, controlled by the three stones the trio hold.

Gale prepares to carry out Mystra's orders; Tae is only just able to talk him down, convinced there's another way. (My graphics were not having it at this point.)

Gale: "Look at that crown. It radiates with power unlike anything I've ever seen. To have it… to hold… If only I could… But I can't… This is it. I must do as Mystra commands." Tae: "Gale, you cannot do this. You can't condemn us to death." Gale: "What choice do I have? More than just a goddess counts on my courage: whole worlds hang in the balance." Tae: "Trust me, Gale. We'll find another way." Gale: "I do trust you. More than myself right now. Perhaps even more than Mystra. I… I have no desire to end your life, you know that. To end it… To struggle on… It is a grave choice you're making for us both, but if it must be so - very well, I'll stand down to stand by you."

;_; Literally the only reason he doesn't kill himself at a goddess's command is because a friend asks him to. God that's so sad. (And I'm sure that crown thing won't come back in any way, I'm sure!)

Controlling the elder brain, they infect their prisoner - Duke Ravengard, Wyll's father. Orin and Gortash leave with the newly-infected Duke, ready to start the attack on Baldur's Gate, and that leaves us with Ketheric, and the newly imprisoned Aylin restoring his immortality. Time for a major battle to free Aylin and take Ketheric down!

Which succeeds, up until, well...

I call this cap 'well, that escalated'.

Anyway I'm really glad that I had the mod that let me have all nine characters (plus Aylin) fighting because the Ketheric-as-apostle monster thing had 181 HP. Aylin goes in on him to finish him off with extreme prejudice (Lae'zel, the closest at hand, had this expression I can only called 'scaroused'), Tae takes the stone from Ketheric's armour, and we finally meet the Dream Visitor in the flesh.

They reveal who the three are - Ketheric was the Chosen of Myrkul, Lord of Bones. From the way Orin spoke, she's a follower of Bhaal, God of Murder. And Gortash is a follower of Bane, God of Tyranny. This is what the Absolute is - an enslaved elder brain manipulated into service by the Chosen of the Dead Three.

So nbd!!

We leave the ship, get back to Moonrise Towers. Karlach is Not Pleased to learn Gortash's involvement. Which is. Understandable.

Yeah we're definitely going to kick his ass.

Gale's also having some thoughts - about that Netherese crown the elder brain was wearing. He decides they'll check out Sorcerous Sundries in Baldur's Gate. Still a bit concerned here, Gale!!

Wyll gives us our next destination - Wyrm's Rock fortress. All roads to Baldur's Gate lead to it - and it's also headquarters for the Flaming Fist, led by one Duke Ravengard. Probably a good idea to prevent him opening the doors for the Absolute's army! He also opens up about his past, about why he made a pact with Mizora. He was only seventeen at the time...

Karlach: "She never stops, does she. Not for a second."

Also at Moonrise Towers - Withers. He has... concerning things to say about their opponents.

Good to hear!!

Some happiness - a reunion between Aylin, and her lover, Isobel. With Isobel's father and Aylin's captor, Ketheric, now gone, each believing the other was dead, they can finally be together again <3

They head off to, er, "take succour in one another's bodies and words" ("Aylin 😳"), and we catch up with Alfira, who's here with a lot of the others from the Last Light. She wants to write a song for the kids to enjoy, but needs another Bard, and where will she find one of those?

Tae pretty much scruffs Astarion and shoves him Alfira-wards. God bless multiclass mods :)

Astarion earns 3g :)

We talk to Art Cullagh. He's doing better. Not entirely sure what he thinks of the modern-day Flaming Fist, but Duke Ravengard seems to be a good sort. He'll wait to see Thaniel when he fully wakes up, and then... yeah, who knows?

Back to camp! We have a lot of interesting conversations. One with Astarion, about what he plans to do with the ritual - he admits he's tempted, and if it means sacrificing his siblings...

Astarion: "I never saw myself as a banisher of shadows. I was always more a 'lurker in', historically." Tae: "I wanted to ask about Cazador's ritual. You must be thinking about it?" Astarion: "The thing that will decide my fate forevermore? Yes, it has been on my mind!! Why~?" Tae: "All that power - you must be tempted to take it for yourself." Astarion: "Well, of course I've thought about it. If I completed the ritual instead of Cazador, I'd get all that power. And I could walk in the sun without fear I'd turn into a mind flayer." Tae: "And the souls that need to be sacrificed?" Astarion: "I don't relish it, but my siblings lured thousands of people to their deaths over the years. I doubt Baldur's Gate would miss them. Of course, I don't even know if I could complete the ritual. It may be impossible - but it certainly is tempting."

In-character-wise, I kind of wanted to have Tae like... set up the acknowledgement that, yes, it's tempting. It also comes with a whopping cost. Just gotta think about that.

Talked to Karlach about Gortach. He is, in her words, an evil, evil bastard and we're going to kick his arse into the hells.

Talked to Halsin about Thaniel. He and Oliver are both recovering - what will happen next depends on them. They may return to be one - but Halsin kind of hopes they won't. It's always nice to have a friend. (An interesting note: Halsin says he has everything he wants, now, "But perhaps there is more than I want." Tae... does not touch that with a barge pole, because they've pretty firmly placed Halsin in the category of 'You remind me of my Grandpa :)' and they are Not Going There! Wyll's expressed interest, Halsin, go try him.)

Shadowheart is... doing okay.

She'll be okay <3

Conversations with Isobel, who talks about how she met Aylin, and Aylin, who is Extremely Dramatic, but also she's a demigod who just killed her tormentor of a hundred years and been reunited with her "mate most high, darling Isobel", so we'll allow it XD Aylin is Selûne's gift to aid the world in the fight against the Dead Three, which. Handy!

And onwards to Baldur's Gate! The Dream Visitor speaks to Tae again, instructing them to gather their allies, especially when they get to the city. "Baldur's Gate may not know it yet, but its fate is bound to ours."

One last obstacle before leaving Reithwin - a Githyanki patrol. We're warned by the artefact Voss left us, and are able to fight them off. Lae'zel gets very Intense.

"It is as we knew. My people have turned their blades against us. They will emerge from the shadows and descend from the skies. And we will grant them their only just fate: death."

I can't wait until she punches Vlaakith in the face.

Next stop: Act 3, and Baldur's Gate!

[shir0ch4ns-art]

TW// MISCARRIAGE

I know that this isn't what I usually post or even have on this blog but like I feel like I'm gonna scream or break down if I just don't put this down on some form of like "physical" words.

This got really long and does kinda goes through the emotions felt so I suggest not clicking the read more if you're not in a good space to read this

As the trigger warning suggests, I just had a miscarriage. The same fucking day I did a pregnancy test. It was simultaneously the best and worst day of my life. I had started off kinda scared and nervous but it also just confirmed my suspicions for the past few weeks since I missed my period. I then just felt so happy, like I was on cloud 9 the whole morning. I went to work I called my mom I was on the phone until I had to officially open the store (I was on opening shift so I'm there half an hour early to prepare) I was just so happy. Then I noticed some spotting and then some more spotting and finally I caught the tiniest bit of red and I fucking left. I told my lead what was happening, and they were just shoving me out the door. I left work 2 hours early and then spent literally the whole day at the Urgent Care just to get a fucking "we don't know". I was a bit mad then but I have since realized that I had detected my pregnancy super early and most people don't even realize they're pregnant until way later on, I'm just super observant of my monthly because it's a bit irregular. And with that it would be extremely hard to tell what was happening. They put me on bed rest for 2 days and to go back the second day. I was bleeding so much between then that I just knew I had miscarried but I was deluding myself into thinking that I was wrong that maybe it was something else, something that can be fixed or maybe I was freaking out over nothing. Only to go in and do some blood work that I got the result back from before the UC doctor did and just...blue screened. I knew, I waited in that waiting room with my husband and mom for the confirmation but I knew. And just like that it was gone.

I'm devastated and angry because logically I know there's no reason, logically I know this just happens sometimes, logically I know it was nothing I did or didn't do...but emotionally I wanna know why, why did this happen, how did this happen so quickly, seriously what the fuck happened. I'm mad because I didn't even get a chance to see what kind of person it would have been, I didn't get a chance to see this potential person grow up, I didn't even get a chance to at least hold them. And I'm just gonna mention it right now that I am vehemently pro-choice and I don't want my use of referring to what wasn't even an embryo at the stage I lost my pregnancy as a potential person to be used for pro-life rhetoric. I don't make this threat casually or at all but I will fucking block and flag you if you do. I'm referring to it as a potential person because I actually wanted this pregnancy not because it was even a life at the point of miscarriage, if I hadn't done a pregnancy test I would have thought it was just a really late really bad period. But I did, and I knew, and that's what's making it so hard to fully come to terms with. It wasn't entirely planned but it was wanted and that hurts.

I'm doing better now, I have a really good support web of friends and family that have helped me through these past few days. My husband being the most supportive one and being my rock throughout this. I'm not even sure why I'm making this post but if anyone else in my position sees this and find some kind of comfort that they're not alone in this and that yes their feelings of despair and anger are valid and that just having someone else experience the same makes them feel less alone then I'll leave this up. I might delete this later or I might forget but if it helps then I'll purposely leave it up.

I nicknamed it capsicum since it made me crave spicy foods like no tomorrow.

[loneliii-aura]

Tagged (sort of) by @ushauz in an ask game for WIPS with the words Joy, Medicine, and Blossom. Most of these are never gonna get posted or for myself, but hey.

I pick cinnamon, lethargic, swallow, for @slashmarks @thethirdamell and @broomsticks , along with anyone else who wants!

Cut for length.

Blossom: Kushiel's Dart! This one I do plan on completing and posting at some point. Epistolary between an unnamed guest at various parties and her lover/Mistress, accounting Phedre's appearance over several parties. The excerpt isn't particularly explicit, but extremely suggestive.

...my dearest Mistress, for you I shall endeavor to do the description justice. While you and I both know you should remain in the countryside for your health, it does not mean I cannot give you the loveliest details of the balls I attend, for your pleasure. (Or perhaps this will only serve to entice you without completion, in which case I have been very, very naughty and I implore you see to it that I am rightfully punished when I arrive...)

Melisande's, of course, stood out among them all. The usual splendors she can afford, of course, but the crown jewel is her newest acquisition. The girl is completing her assignation. My love, at the risk of losing you to one you may never meet - her surrender is the most exquisite I have ever had the pleasure of seeing. They say she's struck by Kushiel, and while her body is mortal, for the way blood blossoms under her skin after a strike, I am sure these parties of Melisande's will reveal the divine in her.

Medicine: part of a conversation in a very silly idea I had with all potential inquisitors surviving and joining up. This was more concept for myself than true dialogue.

"Most of us are encouraged not to understand deeply, or we might find the contradictions. Normal people don't need to understand, they need to work with it. That's all that matters.

"Remember, I didn't study to be a priestess. I don't know the scripture. But the best way I understand it? The Qun--Qunari--is a body. It has eyes and ears and legs and hearts and everything. Every person within it is part of that body. Some know it, but most don't. The hair on my skin doesn't know to do anything but stand on end when I'm cold or scared. A weaver doesn't know anything outside of her weaving. And the Ben-Hassrath want to keep it that way. Most won't answer you because they don't know, and the ones smart enough to think about it are recruited into the upper levels of society--the Qun likes to pretend those don't exist within. They do. The brain is more important than a toe. All are useful, but you can lose a toe and live.

So if the Qun is a body, the individual does not matter. We all make it up. No one is worthless. It is also not just the kossith. If stitches or a brace are added to the body for extra support, they are welcomed, even if foreign...

None are superior to the others. Though that's the way they teach us, I would compare them to organ systems. The Arishok and that path are the digestive, the Arigena the circulatory system, and the Ariqun the nervous system.

As medics, we straddle a strange place between the three. Obviously we help heal anyone who needs it, but we also help develop medicines and drugs for Tamassrans and Ben-Hassrath. We develop vitaar for the warriors. Remedies for the craftspeople. We all need some basic knowledge of all aspects - the body, mind, soul - to help people in it. We also need to be keenly aware of its flaws, which is what makes us so dangerous."

Joy: My d&d character! Note. I've been told I love this character like a dog loves its chew toy. Her life is pretty awful. Warnings for drug use and addiction, generally fucked up behavior patterns and using people, and implied incestuous sexual assault against POV character. More of a stream of consciousness.

You can’t be afraid of pain if you want to fight.

El cuts her knuckles across dozens of faces, humans and elves, and sometimes she gets into drag-out fights with her older brother or younger siblings and, a handful of times, her parents. She pays for it, but she’s always paying for it, and she might as well make a point of it when she isn’t feeling good. (More and more often when she can’t get drugs from Nick, has to turn up with money she doesn’t have.)

But she can get drunk and high still, and she can run off to different cities to flirt with humans and throw herself into their laps. It’s not hard as an elf, and these people could be real if they lived longer, so it’s easy to enjoy their attention. Easy to flirt and let them play with her skirts and her hair, and all she has to do is look pretty enough that they pay her way. She gives them fake names like Joy and Wonder and she gives them real drugs because she needs to make sure they need her. She sees Lucia and Noen sometimes, but the days blur and she's not sure her younger siblings like her anymore.

Then Nicolo shows up. He likes her too much, and whatever illusions she’s put up shatter and she needs to use so she doesn't think, and he drags her home. He always gives her just enough to keep her agreeable."

[ziauhh]

Void success story part : 2 ♡

Hello motherfuckers 😏

So i shared my void journey in my previous post and you guys loved it so here i am with a part 2 bitches, but this one is gonna be more of my life after Void, also it can be a lil cheesy or intense for some people but i don't give a fuck i am just warning you, so let's go my whores 😭

Okay so it's the day two of me with my desires so i woke up the next morning and was as excited as the day before, again how can i forget to check up my phone so i did and again how can i not get notifications and my BF's sweet good morning message ( i mean best friend, honey it's only the second day don't you get that far ) and i was again drooling over him like he is so hot and handsome 🥵 ( we know it bitch now stfu ) and i also got a notify that i got 50k in my bank like what the actual fuck ! then i realised that i have a motherfucking math exam today but i wasn't scared of it ( like before i used to suck at math ) I hurried up got ready for school, then i told my mom to drop me there but she was like " You are such a lazy ass just go by yourself honey " and i was so confused why is she saying that but then she said go by your car okay do your exam well, then realisation hit me that i have my OWN CAR I KNOW HOW TO DRIVE IT I FUCKING KNOW HOW TO DRIVE ( before i didn't even knew how to start 😭 ) i went to the garage and I WAS TOO STUNNED TO SPEAK it was a BLACK RANGE ROVER i went inside it took a brief view but i don't know why i wasn't feeling nervous or scared i started the car drove it all the way to my School but this time i wasn't the one who was too stunned but my friends they were like " OMG ZEE IS IT YOU, WE THOUGHT IT'S SOME MODEL OR CELEBRITY COMING DANG IT 😱 " Lol they all were staring at me like they never saw me before or am i really a celebrity 👀 hmm whatever i went to my class gave my exam it was easy af like i thought someone already gave me a copy of the question paper and i know all the fucking answers 😭 but when i would take breaks from writting all i found was lots of STARES at me, people weren't giving a shit about their exam they all were busy staring at me ( not trying to do showoff 💅💩 )

OKAY then time skips up to evening i was watching Bridgerton, then my mom ordered me to go buy some groceries OK MA'AM AS YOU SAY 🙂

At the grocery store : I was busy looking for stuffs and then this girl comes to me and starts talking she was so cute and extremely nice but then what she said made me loose my words - " well zee are you umm ...... Straight just because i found you so attractive and forget to tell i am a bi* so ........ ) my face was just like this emoji 😳 wtf what am i suppose to say but then i told her yes i am straight as a board and ran away 😭 she giggled and said bye like tell me wtf was that. yes i manifested being attractive but forgot i manifested being everyones crush EVERYONES FUCKING CRUSH but it was a cute interaction ( omg this bitch, i can't with her )

At night: i went out with my friends for a dinner to a really nice restaurant and found these really fine boys who are from my school they are those hot basketballers every gurl be a slut for, so they noticed me and started waving at me i did the same, then when we were outside the restaurant they came to have a conversation and one of them says " you are looking so hot today zee " i was blushing like a tomato LMFAO then i heard another voice which said " SHE ALWAYS LOOKS HOT, IT'S JUST YOU NEVER NOTICE IT ,BUT I DO " and guess what he was my fucking BF ( boy bestie huh you right 😭 ) this was the first time i say him face to face and i almost fainted bitch he looks much better in person ( will u please shut up 😑 ) i lost my mind their and even my heart ❤️ ( this crazy ass whore )

Yeah that's all happened that day and a lot more every single day, do tell me if you want more of ummm this yk what 🙂

Other things i manifested from void:

Attention 24/7

Confidence 25/8

Ear piercing

Gold earing

Trip to maldives & hawaii this summer

Desire friend group

Driving skills and license

Other skills like - swimming, sports and cooking

Being able to speak different languages

Few beautiful prom dresses

Motivation:

If you say void is easy, then why people struggle getting in ?

- Because honey you made it hard, tell me is it hard for you to breathe or to drink or to walk noooo right because you know it's a part of you, you control it then why you don't think like this about void when yk it's within you, it's a part of you your mind.

How should i clear my mind, when will i know my mind is clear ? Is there any other method to clear mind ?

- you just do a meditation or breathe work and yeah your mind is clear is that even a point to stress on, void is a deep meditative state and to enter it you need to be calm and clear. And what you think if you can't even breathe can you do anything else huh ?

How will i know i am in void ?

- you will know it just trust your mind, when you go to your room yk that you are in your room not in a toilet, when you go to your friends house yk that you are there not on mount everest then why you wouldn't know when you will enter void.

If people went into void and then know they can manifest for others then why don't they manifest for the people who are unable to go into the void ?

- yes ofcourse we can manifest for others but i don't want to make you handicap, Do you take my help to breathe, to drink, to eat or do write those long ass asks...... NOOOO you don't then why you need my help to enter void didn't i told you it's as easy as doing these things then why you need my help. Afterall you are GOD ! GOD never takes help babe !!!

I have been trying to go into void since ages but i can't 😭

- yes you can't because you keep making excuses, you always try to enter void but never do, you think today for sure i will enter the void and wake up in my new reality but when the night comes you think i am too sleepy let me sleep tonight i will enter void later maybe tomorrow or after that, you over complicate things like hell you be asking me how should i clear my mind, shall i sleep on my back or front, what should i affirm, when should i enter, shall i keep my eyes close or open, can i manifest this, can i manifest that 🙄 bitch now really stfu if you guys be asking me all this in my asks they do also ask me ...... can i eat, what should i eat, how can i drink water, can i go to washroom, how to use a toilet paper, how to write my name blah blah blah... Because doing all these daily routine things is as same as void, it's just we realised it now that what void is, rather this void would have been a simple habit like any other.

Plot twist : It still is as easy as anything PERIODT !

Also if you keep making excuses like i have adhd, my house is not quiet, my parents don't allow me to use my phone how should i listen to the meditation, i try to clear my mind but thoughts still come, i try to make my body still but it moves anyways, i got scared, i need a final push etc etc THEN I AM TELLING YOU, Y'ALL WILL DIE LIKE THIS I SWEAR YOU WILL.... NOBODY CAN HELP YOU. YOU HADICAP PIECE OF SHIT YES... YOU, YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT DOES THAT HURT YOUR EGO THAT I AIN'T CALLING YOU A GOD BUT A PIECE OF SHIT YES BITCH BECAUSE U DESERVE IT. IF YOU WANT TO BE CALLED A MF GOD THEN DO WHAT GOD DOES STOP MAKING EXCUSES, STOP WASTING TIMES. IF YOU WOULD HAVE INVESTED ALL THIS TIME YOU WASTED WORRYING EXCUSING PROCRASTINATING I BET YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN LIVING YOUR LIFE AND INSTEAD OF YOUR ASKS I WOULD HAVE YOUR SUCCESS STORIES.

" If you still have any self respect left go do what i said and show me your face when you claim yourself as a GOD"

The End ✨

Love, zee

XoXo ♡

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

┌─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.☪ .* :☆ﾟ. ───┐

A flight away

└─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.☪ .* :☆ﾟ. ───┘

—summary: You have been gaming with corpse for a few months now and the both of you have grown close to each other. Corpse started to feel comfortable around you and ultimately asked you to come see him in California. You live on the other side of the country and Even though the trip was long, it was so worth it.

—Genre: fluff

—warning: nothing, just wholesome content, reader is short in this

—word count: 1.5k

—Please don't post any of my content anywhere else without my permission

—Comment and reblogs welcome!

You and corpse have been friends for a couple of months now. You met through rae who was desprate to put you in her friends group. Instantly you clicked with corpse; he was kind and welcoming to you making you feel like you've been in the group since the beginning.

After your first game, corpse asked you to join some of his games, vice versa. You both played together, laughed together, joked together, even playfully trashed talked each other. You loved being around him and you couldn't deny the feelings you were feeling for him.

Secretly corpse felt the same way about you. With the time you spent together, he developed feelings for you, at first he thought he was just dreaming, but no, he started to notice it wasn't, it was an actual feeling.

One night corpse got an idea to ask you to come visit him. He know you lived all the way on the other side of the country, and he know you both called and facetimed often but he was dying to see you in real life.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

When corpse finished his stream, he leaned back in his chair as he picked up his phone. He opened your contact. He hesitated at first, not sure he wanted to text you, but then he decided to put his nervousness aside and do something he was scared to do for a change.

Hey, I wanted to ask you something

You, who was on the other side of the country in your home laying in bed, picked up your phone to see a text from corpse. You smiled to yourself as you saw your favorite contact.

Ok, what is it corpsie?

When corpse received your text, he chuckled softly at the nickname you had gave him.

I just wanted to ask you if we could meet? You don't have to say yes, but I'm dying to see you irl you know

You gasped quietly. He was asking to meet you, YOU! You never expected him to ask.

You took a few minutes to silently cheer before you answer his text.

Holy shit yes! I'll book Myself a flight right now. I'll text you when I'm on a plane.

Corpse chuckled. He was so fucking happy you were coming to see him.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Hours went by and corpse was waiting for your text. He couldn't sleep of course which made the wait even harder. Around 2 am he got a text from you.

My flight is in an hour. I'll be seeing you soon! Get some sleep corpsie, I'll be there when you wake up.

It was real, you both were going to meet soon. He was was nervous and excited at the same time. He took your request and Went to sleep after a few minutes of trying.

5 hours later corpse woke up to a phone call. He groaned and picked up his phone, not bothering to look who it was. "hello?" His voice was extremely deep as he spoke. "Hi, corpse. I'm here."

When corpse noticed it was you he instantly got up from his bed. "Your here, here?

Your laugh on the other side of the phone filled corpse ears. "Yes, I'm here, here. Now come open the door, I need to see you."

Corpse laughed as he reached his front door. You heard it click before it swung open. You stood in front of corpse with a huge smile on your face. Corpse had on a hoodie that covered his head full of curls. He was tall, way taller than you making you feel like a little ant.

"oh my gosh, it's you!" You said followed by a giggle. "It's me." Corpse smiled at you. "Well come in." Corpse move, letting you in. You walked into the warm house and placed your bag on the floor. "I'm so happy I'm here."

You turned to corpse with a smile. "Thank you for proposing the idea. Now can I hug you?" You tilted your head the the side hoping he would say yes. To your surprise he did. Corpse pulled you into a hug. You were engulfed by his warmth and scent. It was very relaxing to you. After a few seconds you both pulled away.

Corpse invited you into the living room, you both took a seat on the couch and caught up. You told him about the flight and how it flew by fast. Corpse listened to you with a smirk. You definitely saw it and it made your stomach flip.

"so what have you been up to here corpsie?" You scooted closer to him and listened as he began to talk. "Well streaming, making music, suffering, you know the usual." Corpse trailed off with a soft, inaudible chuckled.

"yeah I know." You both sat in a comfortable silence once you finished your comment. You managed to scoot closer to corpse and rest your head on his shoulder. You couldn't see it, but there was a smile on his face.

Corpse turned and looked at you. You turned and looked up into his eyes, a smile rested on your face, but soon it fell when corpse kissed you.

At first you were caught off guard, but soon you warmed up to his lips and kissed him back. Corpse hand came to your side and held you as your hand came to his cheek pulling him close.

The kiss was pretty heated, you could feel the fireworks interrupt between you two. A minute of kissing ended when you both had to pull away for air.

"wow, I wasn't expecting that." You mumbled breathlessly. "Sorry, I don't know what came over me." "No it's okay." You quickly said. "I actually wanted to do that for a while."

Corpse pressed his lips into a thin line before sucking in his breath. "Yeah me too. I probably should've told you I like you before dragging you out here."

You sighed. "Well I should've told you how I liked you before you dragged me out here."

Corpse laughed. "Well I'm Happy you're here. I can't wait to spend time with you." You smiled softly at corpse. "I can't wait to spend time with you as well." You placed a kiss on his cheek before you rested your head back on his shoulder.

You weren't sure how long you were going to spend in San Diego, but you're happy you flew across the country to visit corpse, and confessed your feelings for him. It was worth it.

--

This is so bad, sorry

[jjacob]

all i want for christmas is you

❝ the school had started to take notice of you. lee juyeon, however, had always noticed. ❞

PAIRING ▸ lee juyeon x fem!reader (ft. best friend!lee minho)

GENRES ▸ fluff, high school au, sports au, best friends to lovers au

WARNINGS ▸ mild profanity but !! lots of !! fluff !! 

SUMMARY ▸ the bet was simple: find a date to the winter ball. the only problem was that juyeon didn’t want just any girl. he wanted you.

PLAYLIST ▸ all i want for christmas is you by mariah carey

WORD COUNT ▸ 5055 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ merry christmas! this is a gift for addy @honeyju​ the biggest juyeon simp ik !! ily addy i am excited/scared/not emotionally ready to read the minho one which ! btw y’all should read here bc our stories are loosely connected! also disclaimer: i know jack shit ab football but i tried

LEE JUYEON TENDED TO REGRET HALF THE THINGS HE SAID SOMETIMES. 

In eighth grade, Juyeon’s sense of humor was largely self-deprecating and consisted of saying he wanted to die at the slightest inconvenience. But, with his spectacular timing, he let the joke slip in front of a teacher once and froze up upon seeing her concerned expression. Juyeon later received a note from the counselor’s office and had to convince them that he was perfectly fine.

In tenth grade, Juyeon had grown past his phase of dark humor and moved onto high school football. He made the cut for the team the previous year, and managed to make it on the varsity team by the time he was a sophomore. In the beginning of the season, they asked who wanted to be captain the next year, and Juyeon boldly declared that he did. Thus, he was ridiculed and sentenced to pick up balls and clean up the gym after every practice from then on.

Now, as a high school junior in the varsity football team, Juyeon had screwed himself over by making a stupid bet with his best friend, Lee Minho.

Lee Minho was, in short, a conniving bastard. Juyeon never should have trusted him and gone along with his antics. The mere thought of what he had gotten himself into was enough to send his heart into overdrive.

The bet sounded simple enough: find a date to the Winter Ball.

Of course, it was easier said than done, but Juyeon was a star athlete and had girls sliding in his DMs left and right. He could easily find a date if he wanted to, and, honestly, Juyeon only needed to send a few texts and he would probably be secured for the dance. The problem was, however, that Juyeon only wanted you.

Minho was well aware of Juyeon’s pitiful, unrequited love towards you. It was probably the reason he suggested the bet; his best friend either wanted to see him miserable or see him score a chance with you. Either way, Juyeon wasn’t sure his heart was ready to shoot his shot.

Juyeon had crushed on you ever since you sat next to him in the seventh grade and let him borrow your pencil. It was such a silly start to his admiration for you, but his feelings grew stronger when the both of you actually became friends. You were so bright when you laughed, so sweet when you spoke, and so adorable when you smiled. Juyeon had never felt this way about anyone else and always got butterflies when he saw you. Juyeon was never one to chase after girls but he would find himself constantly thinking about what you were up to and having several internal dilemmas over whether he should ask you to hang out or not.

Five years later and Juyeon still harbored feelings for you. Now, they had matured into something deeper, but you still racked his brain nevertheless. It didn’t help that you had a major glow-up in high school and were probably the most beautiful person Juyeon had ever seen.

The school started to take notice of you.

Juyeon, on the other hand, had always noticed.

“Are you sure we can finish a medium before practice?” Minho asked Juyeon, setting a box of pizza on the table in front of him. “Also, I saw Y/N by the gym earlier.”

Juyeon perked up. “Y/N?”

“Yeah,” Minho replied, grabbing a slice of pepperoni pizza for himself. “You know what day it is, right?”

Minho took a bite out of his pizza, observing Juyeon with a raised brow. His best friend was on the baseball team but treating themselves to pizza had become a monthly ritual. Despite being on different teams, he was closer to Minho than his football teammates.

“Thursday?”

“And that means?”

Right.

Juyeon had formulated an elaborate plan to ask you out during the football game today, but, of course, it all depended on whether their team won or not. It would have been kind of ridiculous to propose after a loss. On the bright side, he knew he could count on the fact that you’d actually be present considering you were a cheerleader.

But what if you already had a date? You surely hadn’t mentioned it to him or posted about it on social media, so he was riding on an assumption that you haven’t been asked. That was bizarre to Juyeon, though, because you were the prettiest person he had ever seen. However, it was true that you were gradually getting popular, and that made Juyeon a touch nervous.

“I ask her out tomorrow,” Juyeon breathed out. “Am I ready for this?”

Minho scoffed lightly. “Are you ever?”

Juyeon frowned at his best friend, scrunching up his nose at his distasteful comment. “What about you? Have you gotten a date?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

Juyeon sighed. That was probably all he would get out of Lee Minho today. Once Minho set his mind on something, he carried it out diligently until the end. Juyeon honestly had no idea who he wanted to bring since Minho didn’t like talking about girls he was interested in, but he supposed it wasn’t that big of a deal as long as his best friend was happy.

It wasn’t like Juyeon was never going to hear about his friend’s endeavors. After all, he did pick up on Minho’s slow descent from an apathetic individual to a whipped ball of fluff. If Juyeon mentioned that to his best friend, however, he would probably be ridiculed for consistently being whipped for you since the seventh grade.

Juyeon nearly jumped out of his seat at the sound of his ringer going off. He scrambled to pull his phone out of his pocket, ignoring Minho’s teasing smirk at the sight of his frazzled self.

y/n: hey :) i’m gonna drop off some gingerbread cookies my mom made after practice so lmk when i can come over

Juyeon must have saved a country in a past life for this kind of luck.

juyeon: i love your mom’s cookies. you can come over whenever you’d like

y/n: how about we walk home together after practice?

juyeon: sounds good to me

Now, the pizza was starting to make his mouth water, but if you were walking home with him, Juyeon was ready to drop it and run to see you even though he loved pizza. But Juyeon loved you more than he loved pizza, and he believed that was true love.

“She made me cookies,” Juyeon announced.

“She made you cookies,” Minho repeated, leaning forward in surprise.

“Well, her mom did, but yeah.”

Minho turned his attention back to his pizza. “So this is about your mommy kink again.”

“I don’t have a fucking mommy—why would you say that?” Juyeon cried out, kicking his friend’s shin under the table.

“You don’t? Last time I checked, she was making dinner in the kitchen when I came over yesterday.”

“I’m talking about the kink!”

Yet, even a silly back-and-forth with Minho couldn’t get Juyeon down from his high over you. He was still processing the fact that you were going to walk home with him and, if Juyeon played his cards right, maybe he could get a feel of how comfortable you would be if he asked you out during the game tomorrow.

Minho snickered. “You look happy.”

Juyeon couldn’t even mask his lovesick smile and flushed cheeks. He folded his arms on the table in front of him and buried his face in them, his head spinning at the thought of you.

“Shut up, Minho.”

The only problem with you being on the cheerleading team was that you were extremely distracting.

Juyeon was the star quarterback and frankly, it was kind of pathetic that the one thing that kicked him in the ass was seeing you in the knee socks and pom-poms. It didn’t help that you were a flyer so Juyeon’s stomach pitted with anxiety whenever he saw you being thrown up and whenever he heard a scream coming from the direction of the cheerleaders.

Today was different, though. Juyeon could care less about the screams and falls from the corner of the field. All he could think about was you and how he was going to ask you out. If his plan was going to work, it was going to draw a lot of attention and be quite embarrassing if it failed.

All of his confidence got knocked down with a single sweep when he saw someone asked you to the dance.

One of the cheerleaders broke into a fit of giggles at the sight, clasping a hand over her mouth. “Oh my god!”

You were frozen stiff, an awkward smile on your face as the guy walked onto the field with a sign and about a dozen roses. Juyeon could feel his heart sinking to the ground with each step the guy took, with each second his smile grew brighter.

“Is he seriously confessing during practice?” Sohn Youngjae asked, brows furrowed as he rested his arm on Juyeon’s shoulder. “That’s real brave.”

“What’s his deal doing it here? He isn’t even on the team,” Juyeon said, coming off more bitter than he had expected.

Younghoon scoffed. “It’s a bold move. He must be confident that Y/N’s going to say yes.”

Juyeon squared his shoulders. He was conflicted with the swell of anger and deflation of you possibly being taken, but nevertheless, all he could do was watch helplessly as you were being asked out. From where they were on the field, Juyeon couldn’t hear much, but he could see your reactions quite well. The wolf-whistles and cheers were pissing him off, but he was fixed on you.

He turned to look towards Minho, who was practicing on the field adjacent to theirs. His best friend met his gaze immediately like they had some form of exclusive telepathic communication. Minho nodded towards you and raised a brow, as if nudging Juyeon to go interrupt them. That, however, was something he was far too cowardly to bring himself to do.

Your voice resounded clearer than Juyeon had expected.

“I’m really sorry,” you apologized sincerely, ducking your head and keeping your hands entwined behind you. “I’m not interested, but I do appreciate the gesture.”

Juyeon felt a weight lift off of his chest. He wasn’t sure if he should’ve felt relieved that you shot him down or nervous that you rejected an attractive, confident guy who clearly liked you. However, he soon had no time to mull over that when the guy’s reaction was getting more aggressive than crestfallen.

“Y/N, I asked you out in front of all these people,” he said with a distasteful laugh. “Are you seriously rejecting me right now?”

“Sorry, I just don’t want to go with you,” you replied firmly, voice dropping as you became more conscious of your surroundings. “I’m sorry it had to be public but you didn’t really give me a choice.”

For a split second, Juyeon wondered how he could still hear you when you were practically muttering at this point, and then he realized that he started walking to you without even realizing. His feet carried him unknowingly, hand balled at his side and eyes stony and trained on the guy.

“You could’ve just accepted it and told me later that you didn’t want to go with me,” he said with a scoff. “It’s like you enjoy humiliating others publicly.”

Your teammates rushed forward to argue and fend him off while you opened your mouth to protest, but Juyeon was faster, moving in front of you so he was head-to-head with the guy.

“She said she’s not interested,” he said with a threatening undertone, wondering where he managed to muster up the courage to be this assertive.

You were visibly shocked by Juyeon’s actions, and he couldn’t even blame you because he was equally just as surprised as you were. Yet, all he could do was glare daggers down at the other guy with steely eyes and frown until he backed off.

“Thanks,” you said softly once the guy had left.

Juyeon was flustered by all the girls giggling behind you but was amazed by how cool and collected you remained despite that. He turned to you, eyes softening and shoulders relaxing. He knew he was getting an earful about this from his teammates after practice and most definitely from Minho as well.

“No problem,” Juyeon replied, cheeks red. “He was bothering you. I couldn’t just ignore it.”

“That was really sweet of you, Juyeon.” You bit back a smile and suggested, “Meet you at the front gates after practice?”

“See you then.”

Even though Juyeon could’ve spent the rest of practice talking to you, he sprinted back as fast as he could because his cheeks were only getting redder as the cheerleaders gushed about what he did for you. He could hear their gossip and whispering even as he was running back to his team. Juyeon was positive he wouldn’t escape the embarrassment, though, because Lee Jaehyun was smirking at him when he got back.

“You’re blushing, dude.”

Juyeon shoved him.

There was a universal law that was newly decreed. It read: Lee Minho shall never text, call, or speak to Lee Juyeon whenever Y/N was around.

The reason for that being the fact that Juyeon was easily embarrassed and Minho’s texts were not helping his case. He felt it was rude enough to check his phone while he was walking with you, but every time he saw a notification flash, his eyes widened with sheer distress over Minho’s texts.

minho: like three people asked me if you and y/n are fucking bc of what you pulled during practice today

minho: wait are y’all fucking and just not telling me

minho: i knew it was sus that she was coming over to your house

juyeon: fake news!! stop making me feel shy :(

Juyeon decided he had enough Lee Minho for today and turned off his phone.

“That was honestly the coolest thing I’ve ever seen you do,” you gushed to Juyeon as you walked home with him, fingers looped around the straps of your backpack. “Way cooler than you punting footballs.”

“No need to flatter me,” Juyeon replied coolly but his shy smile and red-tipped ears said otherwise. “That guy was being unnecessarily aggressive.”

“His proposal was out of nowhere!” you exclaimed. “I don’t get what he expected me to do.”

Juyeon smiled through the pain. Lord, give me strength, he prayed to whatever divine power was out there.

“Are you not interested in having a date to the dance then?” Juyeon asked, looking down at you curiously.

You paused for a moment and Juyeon thought his heart would stop in anticipation for your answer. Come to think of it, he had never seen you go to a school dance with a date before. You were always with your friend group. It wouldn’t be out of the ordinary to see you stick with them, but Juyeon was hoping he could change that.

“Well,” you started, “if the right person asked me then I wouldn’t be opposed.”

Juyeon couldn’t exactly read your smile but it made him want to faint. The rest of the walk back home was spent talking about school and football, but Juyeon couldn’t get your answer to his question out of his head. He even walked past his house because his head was so full of you, resulting in you needing to stop him and tell him that they had already reached his place.

“Y/N! It’s so good to see you!” Juyeon’s mom chirped with a good-natured smile. “How has your mom been?”

Juyeon’s eyes widened upon the realization that they never stopped by at your place first to get the cookies. He opened his mouth to interject but you went on to answer.

“She’s been great, Mrs. Lee,” you replied, smiling just as big, and pulled out a box of cookies from your bag. “She wanted me to give these to you.”

“That’s so sweet! Give her my thanks,” his mom replied and opened the door wider once she accepted the cookies. “Come in for some tea, will you?”

Juyeon was practically frozen at the doorway while you were taking off your shoes and walking inside. If you had the cookies with you this entire time, then why didn’t you just give them to him to take home himself? Unless you were worried about the courtesy, it was a bit out of your way to take the time to walk home with Juyeon to deliver them.

“Juyeon, what are you doing out there?” his mom asked. “Come inside. It’s cold.”

“Right.”

Having you over at his house wasn’t exactly the sparkly fantasy that Juyeon thought it would be.

He was getting quite jealous of your mom hogging all of your attention. It wasn’t like you and Juyeon drifted apart during high school, so he wasn’t sure why his mom had to pull you away from him and have her own conversation with you. The worst part was that Juyeon couldn’t even join in on the conversation. He had no idea what they were even talking about.

That is, until his mom brought up the dance.

“Do you have a date, Y/N?” Juyeon’s mom asked.

“I don’t,” she replied. “I usually just go with my friends.”

“You’re so pretty, though,” Mrs. Lee tutted. “I’m sure someone must’ve asked you out.”

“Actually, someone asked me today,” you said. There was a moment of silence as you looked over at Juyeon while his gaze bore into yours. For a moment, you were struggling for what to say, mouthing words that weren’t being processed. Juyeon rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly once you regained your composure. “Juyeon actually helped me out.”

Mrs. Lee straightened up. “My son did?” She looked amused as she turned to Juyeon.

“Yeah,” you answered, grinning. “He was really cool.”

Juyeon blushed darkly once their eyes were on him. “W-what? I couldn’t ignore it. I wasn’t even doing that much. I was just helping out. You know, being a decent person,” he rambled and stood up. “Anyways, isn’t it getting late? Mom, Y/N has to go home soon and it’s gonna be pitch black outside if you keep her here.”

“Oh, you’re right.” Mrs. Lee frowned as she peered out the window. “Juyeon, you walk her home then.”

“What?” he sputtered out, looking between you and his mom before he caved, muttering, “I’ll go get my jacket.”

After an exchange of goodbyes, you had stepped out of the house and waited while Juyeon was slipping his shoes on. There was a moment of struggle where he had tied his laces too tight and couldn’t get the shoe on but he managed to slip it on after a few seconds of internal screaming. Juyeon zipped up his jacket the moment he stepped outside, the brisk coldness making his goosebumps rise.

“You really don’t have to walk me back,” you told Juyeon. “It’s cold outside.”

“It’s really late,” Juyeon replied, rubbing his hands together in hopes that the friction would provide some heat. “You shouldn’t be walking home by yourself, and I really don’t mind.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled, ducking your face. “For this, for what you did during practice—everything.”

Juyeon was glad that you weren’t looking at him because his mouth was opening and closing over and over again like a fish. He was also thankful for the fact that he could blame the dust of pink across his cheeks on the cold winter bite. Unfortunately, you lived close by so Juyeon didn’t have time to come up with a cool response and he didn’t want to leave things like this. There was a good vibe going on and he was upset that he couldn’t act upon it; when it came to you, Lee Juyeon was a coward.

“Um, we’re here so…” Juyeon trailed off when he turned to you, sort of thrown off by how beautiful you looked with your windswept hair and flushed cheeks. Dazed, he reached forward and moved a strand of your hair out of your face. “It’s good I walked you home and you’re not like, lost or… something—I’ll shut up now.”

You laughed, and it was an octave higher as if you were rattled from him touching your hair. “Ah, yes, a few streets down can be a harrowing trek.”

Juyeon laughed with you before his eyes settled on you. Your hands were crossed, rubbing your arms that were prickled with goosebumps. A wave of guilt washed through Juyeon and led him to strip his jacket off immediately. He ignored the piercing chill and put his jacket around your shoulders, making sure they covered your bare arms.

“My house is right here,” you argued. “You’re going to be cold.”

“Keep it on. I have something to tell you after the game,” Juyeon said firmly. It was his second burst of courage for you today and he was a little too amped up for his own good. “If you don’t like it then give me back my jacket tomorrow.”

Before you could respond, Juyeon turned on his heel and bolted home, the biggest grin across his face because he was head-over-heels for you.

Juyeon had never been so nervous in his life.

The game was underway, Juyeon’s leg bouncing as he eyeballed the scoreboard. His team was strong in the first two quarters, cutting it close by the third, but now they were neck-to-neck. They had ended with a tie and now they decided to go into overtime for the sake of choosing a winner for the game. It was a sudden death round so whoever scored first would win the game. Juyeon, however, found it difficult to concentrate.

Especially with Lee Minho breathing down his back.

“Are you ready?” his best friend asked.

“Yes—well, no, but I don’t really have a choice.”

“That’s true.”

“I already made the sign and told the team and everything,” Juyeon whined. “I really screwed myself over, Minho.”

Minho pushed at the back of his head. “Dude, I’m talking about the game.”

“Oh, that—that’s fine,” Juyeon stammered. “Fifteen minutes—we just have to win, and then I have to ask out the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”

“You could chicken out,” Minho suggested, “but that also comes with me never letting you live it down.”

“You see, I kind of already implied that I’m going to tell her something important.”

“You did?” Minho’s voice was somewhere between shocked and impressed.

“Shit, I gotta go,” Juyeon muttered, pushing himself off the bench. “Keep the poster safe for me!”

“Good luck, champ!”

Juyeon, sweaty and bangs sticking to his forehead, had to ignore every distraction and think about winning the game before his stomach threw itself into a pool of anxiety over asking you out. He got in a huddle with his team in the remaining fifteen seconds they had before they had to get in formation and lowered the facemask of his helmet. It was up to this one last play to determine whether they would win the game or not.

“Just like we practiced, alright?” Juyeon told them. “Double-wing power pass. We get them to bite thinking it’s a run play and then open up a passing lane.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Jaehyun cheered, and the rest of them put in their mouth guards and lowered their facemasks.

Juyeon took a shaky breath as he got in formation at the line of scrimmage. His heart was racing but he wasn’t sure it was about the game. Nevertheless, he steeled his nerves and held his ground. The whistle blew and the crowd was silent, observing the tension on the field carefully.

“Silver-80! Silver-80! Hut! Hut! Hike!” Juyeon yelled, and the center, Sangyeon, snapped the ball to him.

Juyeon faked a handoff to Jaehyun, the fullback, and spun around, rolling to his right. Changmin sped up in front of Juyeon to defend him. A smile tugged at Juyeon’s lips. Their plan was working just as he intended, but there was a problem: they couldn’t open up a passing lane for the running backs like he thought they would. The play was too rushed, so it wasn’t ever a guarantee.

So Juyeon had to do what he would normally deem crazy.

He spun at the sight of the other team coming to tackle him and skirted around the field, belting down the field. He dodged past another linebacker that tried to body him. His primary motivation was that he didn’t want a concussion before he confessed to you, but he assumed it was okay to admit that to himself as long as he didn’t throw the game.

Juyeon felt a hand grab him but he pushed forward, running across the goal line and into the end zone. He threw the ball down and cried out in joy as he scored a touchdown. The whistle blew and the scoreboard flipped. They won.

He did it.

Juyeon’s team ran to him, cheering at the top of their lungs. He was lifted up on Jaehyun and Younghoon’s shoulders, grinning happily before his heart sunk back down. The cheerleaders ran to the field, cheering and tossing their pom poms up. The crowd was roaring. Juyeon was realizing that he had to do the scariest thing that a heterosexual teenage boy ever had to experience.

“Jaehyun, Jaehyun,” Juyeon tapped his shoulder quickly. “We have no time. I have to do it now.”

“Oh shit.”

Jaehyun and Younghoon dropped Juyeon onto the turf. Juyeon winced at the sudden impact, gathering himself back to his feet and hoping you didn’t witness that. Jaehyun gave him a half-assed apology and pushed him forward to run and get his poster and flowers from Minho. Jaehyun then grabbed Changmin by the shoulders, urging him to go to the announcer’s booth.

Juyeon sprinted over to Minho, waving his hands dramatically. “Give, give, give,” he demanded amongst all the cheering.

Minho didn’t waste any time and pushed the poster and bouquet into Juyeon’s hands. “Break a leg, tiger.”

“Trust me, I nearly did.”

Juyeon jogged back onto the field, cheeks hot and head a little dizzy for what was about to come. He didn’t even tell his mom he was going to ask you out and she had to watch her son ask his best friend out to the dance. This was probably going to be a moment of utter humiliation but once Juyeon saw you in your high ponytail with a bright smile on your face, all that fear faded away and it was just you and him.

More importantly, you were wearing his jacket over your uniform and Juyeon felt like he was going to combust from the cuteness.

“Guys, guys,” Jaehyun called to the team. “Surround Juyeon. Make sure Y/N doesn’t see him.”

Juyeon’s heart was beating a hundred miles per second. He was glad he was running on the adrenaline from winning the game because otherwise, he would be cowering in fear and sweating buckets right now.

“Everyone, listen up!” Changmin spoke over the intercom. “First of all, the football team scored a major dub today—ow! Sunwoo, cut it out—alright, I’ll get to it!” Changmin broke from the mic and started bickering with Sunwoo.

There was a pause, and Juyeon was surprised to hear Minho’s voice fill the speakers, “Anyways, my buddy and our star quarterback, Juyeon, has something to say for a special someone.”

The crowd fell silent, a couple cheers and wolf-whistles as it was pretty obvious that a confession was about to happen.

“This is so fucking fluffy,” Sunwoo mumbled.

“Shut up, Sunwoo,” Juyeon replied, nudging him with his elbow.

The football team moved out of the way so that they weren’t huddled around Juyeon anymore. Juyeon’s breath caught in his throat as he walked forward to the middle of the field, holding up his sign, reading: Will you be my sunshine?

“Y/N,” he called out loudly, “honestly this confession is long overdue, but will you go to Winter Ball with me tonight and be my sunshine?”

The crowd started cheering and whistling again, and Juyeon wanted to die. She hadn’t even given him her answer yet and everyone was acting like she had agreed and they eloped. The cheerleaders pushed Y/N forward and she approached Juyeon, looking like a deer in headlights.

Juyeon took another shaky breath and continued, “I’ve been in love with you for so long so it would be an honor if I could take you to the dance,” he said and his voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m sorry if this is uncomfortable for you.”

You bit your lip but that wasn’t enough to contain the happiness that showed on your face. You zipped up Juyeon’s jacket and threw yourself into his arms. Everyone practically exploded but Juyeon was sure his heartbeat was louder. He wrapped his arms around you and buried his face into your shoulder.

Was this what people called a Christmas miracle?

“Oh shit!” Changmin screamed over the intercom. (“Shut up, they’re having a moment,” Minho’s faint voice was picked up in the background).

“Oh my god, you just made me the happiest man alive,” he mumbled.

You pulled back and reached forward to move his damp bangs off of his forehead. “Took you long enough.”

“Wait, did you—did you like me?” Juyeon choked out.

You laughed and cupped his face in your hands. There was a shaky inhale and exhale of breaths when his lips brushed against yours, and Juyeon closed the distance, kissing you like he was starved of your touch. His hold tightened on you as you melted into him, and then you both pulled away, smiling and dazed and lovesick.

You giggled. “Does that answer your question?”

“Yes,” he breathed out, grinning as he brushed his nose against yours.

Juyeon could care less about all the presents and holiday cheer because he had you and you were all he wanted.

[killldeer]

excitement for seeing the seanchan on-screen vs fear for how the showrunners at Amazon Dot Com will handle all of the (gesures vaguely) that comes with them as obligatory baggage. duality of man

SIGH. THIS IS, UNFORTUNATELY, THE VIBE

[show-only fans: i am about to discuss spoilery material that spans pretty much the entire series, so please skip this post if you don’t care for those!]

I have such a complicated relationship with the Seanchan. On the one hand they are absolutely fascinating when we get to see inside their heads in POVs during the books, and for a good chunk of the series Robert Jordan did a fantastic job of making them the most terrifying, loathsome force in the known world. They are so alien and fearsome and fun to hate. On the other hand, however… you are so extremely right. There are a lot of things I really, really wish RJ had done or not done when he wrote the Seanchan, a lot of which have aged pretty poorly (and if we’re being honest were already pretty iffy when they were written).

My opinion is that there are going to be several different sets of goalposts we’re going to have to get through, each of them very different in terms of how much awareness and context is needed, for me to consider the Seanchan a successful adaptation:

The lowest-hanging fruit, where the bar is fucking underground, is altering their aesthetic – which is largely composed of elements which have been stolen wholesale from existing cultures and slapped onto a horrifying imperialist tank of a country. I’ve been really happy about the costume design so far, and if those promo pics from today are any indication then I actually have a good amount of hope for this one!

Second is the way in which the sul’dam and damane are shown and contextualized – i.e. making it known, unequivocably, that there are no good Seanchan, because all Seanchan are responsible for and benefactors of the literal actual slavery that forms a cornerstone of their society. I am looking at you, Egeanin. This one’s going to need a little more tact; I’ve put my trust in the showrunners so far, but this fundamentally being an am*zon production still makes me really nervous about it either way.

The third and most difficult test, which is all the more nerve-wracking because we won’t know if wotonprime has passed it for a long while, is Tuon Athaem Kore Paendrag. Tuon, in my humble opinion, is the single biggest sin Robert Jordan committed while writing the Seanchan. She undoes so much of his hard work so quickly it’s almost comical; she continuously exists on the edge of realizing the Seanchan are The Worst but never actually does, and somehow takes like half the main cast with her into being Reluctantly Cool With Slavery. I do not even know where to begin on the travesty that is the end of Mat’s arc at her hands.

tl;dr: I Am So Scared!! Here Goes Nothing!!!