#so I ended up getting surgery to remove the cysts

[passiveaggressiveturkeys]

You know it’s kinda batshit crazy that a debilitating condition that effects 1/10 who are AFAB is not only incredibly underfunded with no new treatments in 40 years and none of the existing treatments even being that effective but also pretty much everybody reporting symptoms have been brushed off by their doctor at some point or other leading to at best patients questioning their symptoms and at worst the disease being allowed to run rampant and causing dangerous health complications

That is 5% of the population, including children and elderly. Endo has been found in foetuses and symptoms can sometimes last past menopause

5% of the population, 400 million people alive today who are either currently being effected, have had their lives massively impacted, or are still oblivious to the disease slowly developing inside of them that will likely one day change their lives in ways that can never be come back from

These are often people who can’t work, can’t have children, many can’t even leave their house

How the hell is this not considered a bigger issue?

[raeathnos]

.

[fishfingersandscarves]

How does one get free-ranged disembowled?? Like without anaesthetic? Sorry for my bad English I'm just wondering how you could have been disembowled and survived

Aha well what happened was I had surgery for a giant ovarian cyst and I woke up 10 mins after it ended and my anesthesia stopped working & they had a shortage of pain medication so I basically felt all the ouchies that comes with cutting up your stomach ye Olde vertical c-section style and removing a 10 pound meat basketball from your body that was killing you. Needless to say. It hurt a lot. I distinctly remember crying a bunch and my surgeon coming over and saying quite angrily and upset-like: why are they awake. They shouldn't be awake.

[mellosdrawings]

Forgive me if this has been asked before, but I really love your line work! What do you do to keep it so clean? I get carpal tunnels easily so it’s a pain for me to do consistently. Also what brushes do you use? I also use procreate :>

First thank you for the kind words <3

My brush for pretty much everything is the default Procreate Pencil that you can find in the Sketching section of your brushes. I don't think I've tweaked the settings but here are the main ones just in case.

As you can see, I don't use any stabilizer for this brush. I want it to feel just like an actual pencil.

How do I keep my lines "clean" then?

First: shitty textured brush with barely any weight. The problem with perfectly smooth brushes is that any shakiness from your hand will be visible in the end result, so you'd need a heavy stabilizer. I don't like it coz it removes the energy/dynamic lines. Smooth stuff isn't exactly my thing unless I'm trying to have a cartoon effect.

Second: I don't actually try to keep it clean. I redo some lines several times, keep some of the mess ups, etc. But one thing I do is keep my hand/arm flowy. I do wide moves, try to keep it all smooth. Unless there is an angle, the line is likely to be just one swift move.

Third: As my brush has very little weight (ie bigger or thinner lines), I manually add it by adding lines and darkness to some places.

Here's an example with my Liongarb Jamil. The first version is weightless, all lines are mostly the same size. The second adds some weight notably in the hair, headset, arms, and belt.

Here you can see the added lines I used to do the weight.

And so with those tricks you have the appearance of cleanness, even though it is actually far from clean.

(Also i never do straight lines. Those are the devil. When you do wide moves, all your lines are going to be arcs, and that's exactly what I'm aiming for. Adds dynamics and can be done swiftly without having to focus on making the line straight and pretty.)

My advice would be not to worry too much about cleanness. It annoyed me to no end before, until I finally decided to just do it however I liked and screw cleanness. I prefer to have dynamic and fun lines rather than a perfect drawing, and it does the trick.

When you read shonen manga next time (if you like reading those), pay attention to the line work. In most cases you will see it is actually shaky and unclean and sometimes even ugly. But it doesn't matter, because the moves are here. It's dynamic. That's what matters. (Jujutsu Kaisen example (open in your search engine or you might get an error warning), One Piece example, Haikyuu example)

As for the carpal tunnel pain, it's probably because you draw with your wrist instead of your whole arm. My whole right arm is always in pain and I had to get surgery in my wrist for a cyst last year, so I know how frustrating it is to be in pain when drawing. Here's a few tips:

I would suggest you see a physical therapist if you can, so you can get a better drawing position.

Regular stretching like rotating your wrists, flexing your fingers, etc, also helps a lot.

Doing bigger lines/moves with your shoulder or elbow instead of your fingers or wrist when you draw will remove some pressure from your wrist.

Don't hesitate to mix how you draw when one part starts to hurt so it can get some rest, and do take regular breaks in your drawings.

Finally I suggest that you get yourself something to make your grip on your pen bigger. I use these pen holders for children to help me. It might sound ridiculous, but half the strain in your wrist comes from your thumb. Having a bigger grip helps relax your position.

I hope all this blah-blah helps you, good luck with your art and your wrist o//

[fatkish]

I’m going to have a (albeit low risk) major surgery done on my neck in two months, it’s to remove an almost 4 cm wide cyst that can do many bad things if left there (It’s right under my jaw). If you write for Tenya Iida, could you write him with a friend or S/O in the same predicament? If you don’t write for him, Todoroki or Bakugo are also fine. (if you don’t feel comfortable writing this, you can delete the ask)

Iida x Reader Headcannons

Upcoming surgery

Iida:

Definitely would sit down and help you review the entire procedure from start to finish

Would do research and watch surgical videos of the procedure so he can understand what’s going to happen and will watch them with you if you want to

Would gladly sit and listen to each of your worries and thoughts and would reassure you that you will be okay

Goes to every appointment with you and asks questions for you in case you’re too nervous or forget to ask

Will help you prep for the surgery (washing your sheets and putting on new ones, reminds you to not eat before it)

Goes into the room with you on surgery day and helps you get ready and comfortable

Lets you squeeze his hand as the nurses take blood and insert your IV

Sits in your room and hangs out with you, distracting you from being scared or nervous

Would offer to go with you to and from the doctors

Definitely has healthy meals already prepared for you and has food ready for you once you wake up from anesthesia

Helps you care for and apply whatever is necessary to the surgical sight (applying ointment to stitches and bandages them, helping you change the bandages, helps you clean them if necessary, etc.)

Gets you whatever you need if you’re still sleepy after the surgery

Sorry it’s kinda short. I’ve only really had surgery once that I remember. I had a Bartholins gland cyst and I was nervous for the surgery too since I hate needles. But it was quick and I got food immediately after so it was all well in the end. Hope this helps anon.

[duchessofostergotlands]

First of all I begin this by wishing the best to all those who have been affected in one way or another with this terrible disease such as cancer as well as any other disease of this nature.

One thing I have seen since the announcement came out yesterday is still people criticizing William as to why he was not there with Catherine at the time the announcement was made and it is maddening to see how some people are so inept.

In September of last year on a Wednesday a surgery my aunt had to remove two cysts that the doctor said would only take two hours, turned into a seven hour surgery and with practically half of my aunt's small intestine removed. I still remember when I woke up and my mom felt me up to tell me that my aunt, a lady who has always taken care of herself young (48 years old) had cancer and was in intensive care. The shock that felt like a bucket of cold water was something that to this day I cannot explain. The next day my grandfather was likewise diagnosed with protest cancer. The process of my aunt who was the one who was worse than my grandfather is one that has not even been seven months yet but these are things that we as a family have been a constant change. The food, now it is all gluten free until at least her intestine gets used to it and even then there is food that she may never be able to eat again; now she looks like a duck (her own words) since every time she eats she goes to the bathroom, sometimes without needing to eat just out of nowhere she can no longer regulate her urge to go to the bathroom, which her oncologist says is normal. Now she can't wear high heels either, a lady who, being a lawyer, is used to wear high heels all the time.

I say this because I think it is important for people to know that the cancer pathway, like many other life changing diseases, is not linear, sometimes you feel good, other times you get tired and all this despite the fact that my aunt is on preventive treatment. Not chemotherapy but some pills

I hope you and your family are doing ok. It sounds like a very challenging situation but you also seem to have a very close family relationship so hopefully you're all supporting each other :)

I mean, surely William could have been off screen? I haven't read anything about whether he was there one way or another, it's not relevant to me, but it's like they don't know the universe doesn't end at the edge of the screen lol. But anyway, bottom line is it's Kate's body. Not William's. I'm really tired of the constant infantilising that's been happening in recent weeks, on both sides of this conversation. I'll talk about some of this in the podcast in more depth but William is her husband and the father of her children, not her minder. I don't know why people insist on treating ill people - especially women - as if they're children who can't make up their own minds about what happens to them. Of course there's vulnerability that comes with it, people need extra support. But she's not a baby. If she'd needed or wanted William to sit on a bench next to her in total silence, I have no doubt he would have done it. She clearly didn't.

[bfpnola]

ONE OF OUR FORMER VOLUNTEERS NEEDS YOUR HELP! PLEASE SHARE!

Hi! My name is Camaria, I am 18 years old, and a first-generation low-income freshman at Barnard College of Columbia University. Currently, I am in the process of planning for surgery in October for the removal of a benign jaw tumor, Ameloblastoma.

I became aware of this issue in December 2022 and have been going under treatment as it was a cyst. I spent nearly 5k of my savings paying for that treatment. However, in July, it was discovered that the cyst changed forms, becoming a solid tumor. This is forcing me to undergo serious surgical removal and reconstruction of my jaw. The tumor is eating up my teeth and bones as we speak, so I need this surgery as soon as possible.

I moved away from home a week after hearing the news: from New Orleans, LA to New York City. I am alone in college with little known family near me, planning for this surgery. Both of my parents have no money or savings to help pay for my surgery. My dad was laid off from his welding career due to bad eyesight from age. My mother is supporting my two younger siblings, ages 12 and 17, working as a server in a restaurant to make ends meet.

Bone implants are predicted to cost around 9-12k, and hospital bills are unknown. I also need to get prosthodontist work and dental implants as they are removing at least 7 teeth from my bottom row. Those will cost around 6k-8k, not including the $800 per dental implant. My insurance doesn’t cover any of the costs for my implants or prosthodontist work.

The surgeon has requested I pay 50% of the bone implant cost upfront, amounting to between 4.5k-6k before my surgery date of October 25th.

All donations will go towards the costs of helping me pay my bills. I can’t do this on my own and I’m pleading for help.

[butch-reidentified]

i know it’s none of my business, but if you mind sharing, why did you get top surgery? i haven’t heard of any woman who has gotten it for reasons further than being transgender (or medical ones)

I dont mind; it's just a bit complex and hard to communicate. I've found that whenever I try to on here, people end up misinterpreting a lot of it. I'm willing to try tho, esp since I've previously talked about it only in specific contexts and not just discussed all the reasons.

I had a few reasons, and part of it was medical (primarily bc of constant painful cysts), and I did have what I think may be a version of "sex dysphoria" (tho I'm not 100% bc other ppl describe sex dysphoria so differently & I didn't have body image issues or care how I looked to others or in the mirror) where my breasts felt (felt as in a literal physical sensation) like a prosthesis that I was wearing all the time. I had genuinely gorgeous, ideal-by-societal-standards breasts, and I actually quite liked them aesthetically. but they got in the way a lot and caused all the usual issues that large breasts do, so I was gonna get a reduction regardless. I was kinda like, why not go all the way and then I won't have to deal with cysts or that odd sensation I mentioned? I think it kind of comes down to that + the fact I knew I'd enjoy being a butch woman with a flat chest.

but then I also kind of got this sense of amusement from the idea of removing from existence a pair of breasts that sooo many people who saw them called flawless, just because they were "too perfect for this world to have." that's now the reason I give men who ask me about it, bc the reactions are honestly priceless.

I did a whole ton of research, including a lot of exploring stories of women who regretted doing this for the pupose of checking my motivations for pursuing it, my external and internal contexts around it, and my thought process and actual process I had designed for myself to complete before "clearing" myself to go forward with it - the idea being if any of those were a match with anything I read in a regret testimony, I would not move forward. I did therapy as well, specifically not affirming and with the woman who was my therapist after surviving the Pulse shooting in 2016, who I trust and respect deeply and who is not particularly on board with trans stuff or the new brand of "feminism." And I waited over 4 years from when I first thought about it to do all the above, and so it wouldn't be at all impulsive as I'd had a lot of time to dig deep, analyze, try other options, and really think hard about it/how I'd feel. And so I'd be old enough that my prefrontal cortex was more or less done cooking 😅

I'm not really sure either way if I would do it now if I still had them, but that's only bc I'm informed about the cosmetic surgery industry now in ways I wasn't then, and as a result, I'm opposed to giving that industry my money. But it would still be a tough call if I'm honest. I really like the way my chest is now. I'm quite happy with it and find it much more convenient in several ways, so I couldn't honestly say I have any regrets about it.

I truly had zero desire to be viewed as a man or "nonbinary" and went a bit overboard making sure people knew that for a while after my surgery. My misandry runs too deep to ever not love being a woman, no matter what the world is like, if I'm honest. I am so madly in love with womanhood and sisterhood and being a lesbian and female solidarity and devoting my life, body and "soul," to women's liberation. It's my cardinal raison d'être. And I do think there's some good can be done by an extremely gnc woman with no breasts who's loud and proud about being a woman.

[alaydabug2]

Ok something I find quite interesting

I've been under general anesthesia many times throughout my life

Although I only remember 2

My third open heart surgery at 5 and recently over the summer getting a cyst removed

And I've always been told you shouldn't remember anything before going under anesthesia but generally you can remember after (obviously depends how deep under you were)

The interesting part

I can remember up until I fell asleep for my open heart surgery

They wheeled me into the OR as I was crying and scream then they put a mask over my face

They told me to count down from ten and by 5 I remember closing my eyes and going to sleep

However I barely remember anything else about my hospital visit

Only like 3 select things

I mean obviously u was 5 and wouldn't remember much now but I still find it fascinating that was the most vivid part

Now over the summer that was different

I remember being wheeled back into the OR and laying down on the operation table

They started to strap down my hands and ik I asked if one of them could hold my hand (which one did, they were very sweet)

And then.... that's it

I don't remember the funny feeling that I remember from my heart surgery and getting drowsy then going to sleep

I just remember one of the doctors holding my hand then I was awake

But waking up was a different story

I remember all of it (unfortunately)

I remember coming back to consciousness and groaning a bit trying to figure out what was going on while I was still in the PACU

I kind of opened my eyes but it was bright so I either squinted or kept them closed

I also vaugly remember seeing the nurse beside me doing the paperwork

I asked her to hold my hand too

Ik that she was talking about how I was supposed to stay down there for at least 30 minutes

But I ended up doing really well and they brought me back up after 15 to my room and parents

I WANTED to go back to sleep

But unfortunately ✨️PAIN✨️

So I never did

But anyone else who's been pit under heavy anesthesia can you explain if it qas like either of those for you

Especially if you've been under more than once

[bvannn]

Weekly Update December 29, 2023

I got surgery this week, which was apparently a lot more urgent than I had realized, since the removed tissue was absolutely covered in cysts! Doesn’t matter now, it’s gone, and I got time to work on artstuffs.

TRGA: I finally got a good bite of the props done, just kinda missing the actual playing table and background for the next few shots (plus maybe some miscellaneous ones, but I think I can do those in another big go at the end). I got a room plan for this and future TRGA animations too, so backgrounds should be nice and consistent once I get around to them. Also cleaned up 1-4 Tim, his face is all done, I’m developing my a faster method of doing faces in the future, and I started and mostly finished keyframing Jon for 1-5, so tweens would be the next step after I finish finagling all the props. Might take a bit more time than expected but since I know what kinds of props I’m missing now it shouldn’t be as hard for the rest.

Music: was able to move around my plugins and install the remaining stuff from Black Friday, as well as the trial version of Vocaloid. I’m not looking to dive headfirst into vocaloid yet but I’ll watch some tutorials once I get around to it, I’m more concerned about doing instrumental music production because I want to a) have something to show, b) have something to animate, and c) eventually add it as a commission option. With any hope my pain from surgery will be down tomorrow so I can take a crack at it.

On the topic of commissions I’ve been putting off redoing them for probably a bit too long, and to combat this I have made a spreadsheet, to be filled out over the next few weeks, of miscellaneous OC drawings so I can time myself and calculate appropriate prices. I’ll try to post those drawings here as they’re completed. TRGA is still going to be highest priority, but I’ll also keep trying at music and at general drawings. I’ve decided to drop the remaining October prompt sets I didn’t finish, due to lack of interest, and in order to make room to hopefully do that epithet erased weekly set I made. I’ll also try to do those comic thumbnails where I can (probably I’ll take another crack at them tonight).

And finally on the topic of epithet erased I’ll try to throw together a little campaign for friends to drag them into it, hopefully to stabilize my mood this upcoming semester. I have at least one ‘episode’ generally planned, just need to tighten up villain motivation and stuff.

Lot got done this week but a lot still needs to go. Tonight I’ll either do a timed drawing or timed music thing, followed by some comic thumbnails.

[lucysweatslove]

Health recap, I guess? 2019 to present, because I'm so frustrated with my health atm.

Early 2019, I started with wrist pain whenever I used my hand to push on something. Nobody could figure it out. Did OT without much help. Was told it is "probably functional" but lost ability to do things I love, including lift weights and do yoga.

End of 2019, I got sick with an upper respiratory infection. I get colds periodically like everybody else. Nothing new.

URI did the whole "got better, then it got worse" thing and turned into a sinus infection and then my First Ever Ear Infection.

Went into urgent care; was given... some... antibiotic. I don't even remember the class. When this helped but didn't resolve, and the URI progressed to a cough and lower respiratory stuff, I was put on another antibiotic of a different class.

Eventually that antibiotic cleared it up, but I had a terrible cough for a few months. Also. Finally see a new psychiatrist who puts me on Wellbutrin and I feel so much better emotionally. Not physically.

Enter in COVID! I was working in a derm clinic and had to take my temp multiple times a day. We found I was persistently having fevers! Yay! I also was tremulous, nauseous, and lost weight unintentionally. This was on top of a couple year history of significant whole-body pruritis. Concern is something cancer.

Provider I worked for ordered labs while I waited to get into my PCP. My TSH was marginally high, which was unexpected. My PCP called and was like "let's put you on levo!" to which I said no, let's not, because I'm not presenting with any hypothyroid symptoms. I requested repeat TSH plus additional thyroid tests eg T3/T4.

Those came back normal, PCP was all "its a good thing I didn't start you on meds" like ma'am no, it's a good thing I had some medical knowledge and thusly refused and pushed for repeat studies. My PCP did not additional workup and took my temp via forehead scanner and was all "you're perfectly healthy."

Moved, and thus I needed a new PCP. New PCP did more extensive workup.

Start grad school fall of 2020. Can't focus well, suspect ADHD because my sister has ADHD and my historical depression, which I've blamed all my previous focus issues, is well-treated with Wellbutrin. PCP agrees but because of fevers doesn't think it's a good idea to start a new med yet.

Everything negative/clear/normal, including peripheral blood smear, blood culture, and chest and abdominal CT.

"Well, the next step would be a bone marrow biopsy..."

That sounds painful, no thanks. If it's something insidious, it'll eventually show up on routine labs and then we can do the biopsy. I continue to have fever and ear pain (even when my ears look "clear") and recurrent ear infections. I notice my hair is thinning too, and I keep getting recurrent scalp infections, but oh well. School goes fine even if I can't focus well, so I ignore that, too.

I figure out that my wrist pain is a ganglion cyst that nobody noticed because it didn't grow "up" but snaked its way through bones so it took 2 years for a "bump" to present. Had surgery to remove it in early-Mid 2021.

Constant stuffy nose starts in 2021, but my husband's hips died in mid 2021 and I focused more on him initially. I still can't focus and my nose is so stuffy it interferes with sleep.

Enter into a long discussion with my PCP where she refuses to acknowledge that I might have ADHD and thinks it's from my nose + inability to sleep. We try to treat it. Nothing works. Still. Stuffy.

Apply to medical school. Worried about ADHD and being able to focus and learn. Therapist who I've been working with since Husband's hips agrees it is ADHD but can't medically treat. Referred to testing because maybe if I have an actual diagnosis, my PCP would treat.

Diagnosed with ADHD + autism. Clinician assessor told me that my PCP's office doesn't usually "accept" his diagnoses.

Go to a PMHNP instead who won't prescribe stimulants without assessment from a specific neuropsych.

Placed on Strattera while I wait for neuropsych results. It's terrible. Fevers spike, I'm shaking all the time, can't sleep, like no change in focus. 0/10.

Do assessment with neuropsych. Only did some self-rating scales + the WAIS. WAIS test is voided because I've done it too recently. I still have to pay.

PMHNP finally says she won't make me go through any more hoops and we try Vyvanse. Vyvanse is amazing. I barely have any exacerbation of anything physical even.

Start medical school, things are OK and stable.

A few weeks into school (probably like, 6 weeks after starting the vyvanse, if it matters). I start feeling unwell and dizzy and like my eyes can't focus well, and I can't bring myself to eat. I figure I just need more hydration + electrolytes. Eat more salt, do better.

Two months into med school, everything flares. My scalp flares, I end up with a staph aureus infection not just on my scalp but by both of my ears, neck, and even a small abscess on my arm.

Treated for the staph but two weeks later develop widespread myalgias. Start taking daily Aleve to manage.

Fever is flaring without any particular pattern during this process.

Losing so much hair in the shower and in clumps. Husband can't find discrete lesions of baldness. I look at the hair and they are all telogen stage. Decide it's probably telogen effluvium from the stress of school.

Myalgias get progressively worse until I am in so much pain just sitting in class that if I forget Aleve for just one day, I'm almost crying and can only focus on the pain.

Finally decide to get another appoint with my PCP. It's in 2 weeks.

Why did I wait so long to see my PCP again? Because I am fat with a history of a restrictive eating disorder and I am absolutely petrified I will be labeled once again as the Overly Anxious Fat Woman that "just needs to meditate and lose some weight," and that when I bring up my new diagnoses and meds, I'll be told I "can't possibly be autistic" because I'm in med school and "present myself well" nor can I have ADHD because clearly I'm just an overly anxious fat woman.

[raeathnos]

.

[starry-hughes]

What’s the story story star

I’m so sorry you are going through this

story about my pcos journey

i was 11 years old and it was december. i was in sixth grade and at the end of the day, i wasn’t feeling well and i clearly remember laying on the bench waiting for my bus and clutching my side. i called my mom but she was in a meeting so i sucked it up and rode the bus. it was like the beginning of december.

my parents were convinced i was trying to get out of homework and play hooky from school because i hated math class that much. i wasn’t feeling well and skipped dinner and fell asleep until around midnight. i woke up in pain and my mom was actually in the room checking on me and i wasn’t throwing up or had a fever so we waited until the morning. i went to urgent care. they ruled out my appendix bursting and then did an ultrasound.

i had one cyst on kidney and two on my ovaries. they referred me to a pediatrician for the kidney cyst. went there and pediatrician said the ovary ones were more concerning so went to the gynecologist. i was put on bed rest and only went to school for like two days a week up until christmas break.

by february i was back at school but excused from gym class and wasn’t allowed to do extreme exercise. the doctors cleared me to go on a trip for a long weekend and we drove to texas. on the drive home, i started getting sick. i was sobbing in pain and we went to the emergency room. i filled like four vomit bags it was bad.

ultrasound showed that my cyst was so big it caused my fallopian tube to twist and cut off circulation to my reproductive organs. i couldn’t walk, i was thrashing in the bed. i don’t really remember how or when i got home but then i had surgery a week later. they removed both ovarian cysts and i lost 8 pounds. now i have like a five inch scar. so this all happened when i was 11, i was told i was basically infertile and they were lucky my whole ovaries weren’t removed during the surgery.

ovarian cysts are pretty normal and harmless. my doctor basically described it to me as like other people’s body’s let them get rid of the cysts like normal and harmlessly, my body doesn’t know how to remove them. so every couple of years, i get really bad cysts. i get checked for them every time i am experiencing those pains again.

my sister has the same things that go on. and the other females on my mom’s side have pcos and endometriosis.

[allthetropes]

I'm so tired of people complaining that fat people are 'clogging up' the medical system, as if we did this ourselves on purpose. Fat people are making the waiting times longer, fat people are taking up the time and energy of specialists. Weh, weh, weh.

The medical neglect of fat people is cumulative in nature.

I have infected cysts on my ears, a gallbladder that probably needs to be removed, tachycardia, skin issues, signs of breast cancer, dizziness that won't go away (probably pots), menorrhagia, and back pain.

I'm not going to the doctor about it, even though I have semi-socialised healthcare. What would be the point? They are going to tell me to be less anxious and "try anorexia" and send me away again. Like they have been doing since the start of forever ago. and if i end up in the emergency dept 6 months from now on deaths' door, well, that's my fault for not seeing the doctor.

For fat people, until they become an imminent life-or-death case, they are actually 100% healthy, they just need to be morally good. if they could JUST be as a good as everybody else, if they could JUST be less selfish, and gluttonous, and greedy, like everybody else, then they would have no problems! All the problems they currently HAVE are because they are naturally bad people. if they just acted right, they would never be sick.

And then suddenly fat people make up a not-insignificant percentage of patients in a cariologists office. the oncologists office. the STD clinic. the gastroenterology department. radiology. surgery. intensive care. neurology. See, if you had actually treated the issue when it was small, it wouldn't have grown to be this huge, enormous issue that now required hundreds of thousands of bucks and several specialists to remedy.

but you didn't. because the person was fat. and you deemed their continued fatnesss to be a greater problem than a wound turning septic, or a tumor growing on the brain, or loss of eyesight. and your patients learn this about you. so they stop coming. they stop running to you for the small things, or even the medium things, because your derision and condemnation and refusal to help them is hassle they don't need. so they bind their own wounds, they learn not to look at flickering lights, they buy reading glasses ever increasing in strength, until the problem can't be ignored any longer. Until they fall over in the street and there's no getting back up.

If you see a disease starting in your apple tree, and you don't treat it, you don't get to whinge and whine when your apple tree bears rotten fruit and there's no apple pie for you this autumn. you did this to yourself. Don't blame the apples. They are a reflection of you.

[nxdxxh3]

Hello.

I have not posted or reblog or whatever these things are called nowadays. Anyways, I bet no one reads this cus i just wanna give a life update to myself lmao.

I stopped visiting tumblr probably more than 5 years ago?? So around 2018 probably. Oh wow. Okay imma make a timeline then.

2018: I was with my ex boyfriend. Lets just call him A. Things started great then went downhill and i ignored all the red flags yadda yadda yadda typical young girl thats so positive im gonna end up with this guy. Well no. If i could turn back time, i would slap myself in the face and tell her to run. I actually cant remember much back then as im trying to forget everything 2020 and below. But what i did remember is how manipulative he is and a liar. But, i was in "love". I started my diploma this year and graduated already in 2019. We'll get to that year in a second. Anyways, he practically talked me into being with him rather than this really great dude i was dating before him and mind you he had a gf. In my defense, i didnt know as i said earlier, hes manipulative and a liar. The dude before him is from singapore and i was young and thought LDR wont work on me(boy i was wrong.) I needed the physical attention cus well, i was young.. But im glad i did met him physically cus we planned to meet in Johor and it was sweet. okay that got sidetracked but 2018 is like the 2nd year i was with A. During this year, it really went downhill. I started to fall into deep depression and my mental health was bad bad. Thats when i felt i wanted to unalive myself and hurt myself. and i did. the latter i mean. anyways he started working somewhere and i actually was sus about this bitch working there as well. Lets call her S for slut.

2019: Fast forward to 2019. This is the year i got a cyst on my left ovary. Due to reasons i rather not say but i will answer if by any chance someone read this and are curious so go ahead inbox me i guess. But definitely A was contributing to it. Whether directly or indirectly. So yeah, during that time it was bad. I lost my left ovary and i only have 1 now. How i found out you ask? (no one asked but) I had really unbearable pain on my abdominal area. The uterus area like non stop. I thought its the period cramps but i wasnt on my period that time at all. I found out a bit late so the cyst grew until 12cm and i saw it after the removal. Its the size of a baby's head! im not even exaggerating. Its really big. Anyways after the surgery, my family has been there for me. They're really the main reason why im still alive and well mentally and physically. That was in July. and i cant remember anything before that. so lets move on. Towards the end of the year, i found out that A was cheating on me. Not 1, but with 2 different girls. 1 is S and 1 is F. These random ass letters will get me confused but nvm. F is the ex gf. and the funny thing is, F was friends, best friends with S. LMAO. When i found out, the first thing i did was exposing him on my instagram sksk. I cant do anything and im not gonna stay quiet about it. so i just did that. and a lot of people came forward exposing more about him and S. So hes really active with S. Hes been going out, fucking her and F behind my back. and they both dont know about each other's situation btw until F saw my insta story and contacted me to meet up. and we did and i told her everything. all this time A was badmouthing me to his side pieces saying how much of a psycho i am, how i always beg him to stay (fuck no ew i always ask for break ups but he always have a way for words and actions). Like i said, hes manipulative and a liar. the fact he had the audacity to ask me to not stay mad for long as if im still gonna be part of this shitty hole. fuck no. i did confront S at that time and bro i really felt like i wanted to slap her face and drag her across the road but hey hes not that fucking worth it for me to do that. I complete left the whole fiasco and stayed friends with F lmao. shes cool. but sometimes dumb bcs she still stayed with him after everything. although that time A already went public with S he can still manipulated F somehow. A ended up marrying S tho. and side note, i gave A a fossil watch and it was fucking expensive. and he told F he bought it himself lmao. fucker. oh and he often take advantage on me asking me to pay for shit. he did pay sometimes but restaurants that are expensive, i paid. he paid for mamak, hawker stalls and what not lmao. So that ended. And i ended up celebrating new years alone and i fucking glad i did.

2020 -2021 July: So uuh covid came. And i met this dude on May 2020. How? me and my discord friends that i met during covid were planning to meet up and hes one of them who tags along. He just broke up with his ex gf 2-3 days ago that time. How he approached me, he kissed me creepily and suddenly while me and him was alone in a house i rented before covid during my degree. Now that i think back, it was creepy. He said "what if i attacked you right now". LIKE WTF? WHO SAYS THAT. Then he suddenly kissed me. i did not know how to de-escalated the situation. so i just let it slide. we just met for 2 hours btw. and he keeps on asking for a kiss afterwards too. on the way back from the outing, i have to send him back and he did not have a license btw. All the way back, he keeps on asking wanting to kiss me again (of course i said no) and hold my hand (this one i was ok with it although i was so uncomfortable). It was so creepy dude. I dont know if those things counts as assault or not cus i kinda just went along with it but i was uncomfy. Anyways, hes unhygienic, kinda narcissistic also have anger issues. Everytime we played games together, i cant enjoy shit bcs he keeps on tilting and screaming at randoms. (sometimes he tilts on me) I also have to pick him up and send him back after all of our dates. it was a mess. I learned the hard way after agreeing to date him. but during my relationship with him, im the fucked up one. i owned up to my mistakes and im not gonna leave this part out from this timeline. i cheated on him with some random dude. and i wont justify my actions. cheating is still cheating. he did gave me a second chance and i swear to god i did try my best to be better. i don't blame him for acting more suspicious of me and blaming me for everything. but it gets worse and i got tired. i honestly thought i should've just left instead of asking for a second chance. i realized the reason why i asked for a second chance is just to make up for it. bcs i felt bad. and that's not something i should've done. i should've just left and let him healed. trust me that came up a lot of times but seems like he doesn't want us to end either. so the unhappy and most depressing phase of our relationship got dragged until august 2021.

2021 August: I finally had the courage to end things with him for good. Bcs we both tried to move on from the incident but hes not doing well on his end. He still accused me of things that i didn't do. Question everything i did and yes i got tired. again i don't blame him but Its getting unhealthy and toxic for both of us. He keeps on saying he trusts me and i have become better but still act like we're back to square one. I called quits and he doesn't want to in the beginning. But then i had to lie telling him i have another person in my life. and that was his last straw. He screamed and yelled at me and just ended there like that. I felt bad but i cant stay again bcs i felt bad. Its not right.

2021 September - Present: These timelines are getting me confused ngl cus i really cant remember the exact time. anyways before i broke up with my previous bf, i was in another different circle of friends. I spent most of my time there while trying to escape him. i thought maybe if i distant myself its a lot more easier for me to leave and him to forget me. but yea during that time we actually fought a lot bcs of that. so after the break up i spent all of my time there. and i met this random singaporean dude. we spent all night talking and exchanging songs that we like and watching sitcoms. i remember our first show was The Good Place. Our discord server name is The Good Place where we hang a lot. (ldr things) and yes he knows about my past from A to Z. Basically everything i have wrote so far. We played valorant a lot tgt. I know i know, very short amount of time meeting someone new. but bro he hits different. its definitely the rush, the chasing, the butterflies. i haven't felt like that for a while and well, its bcs of my own fault too. i admit everything happens so fast like very fast. so we start really getting to know each other after dating which is weird and can lead to an easy break up especially we're doing long distance. but im not losing this dude. so i said, fuck it. he did say that he scared long distance would be hard but hes willing to try. i did it before and i want to be better. especially for a guy like him. 2 years has passed and today, 13th April 2023, we're still together and getting engage hopefully end of this year. Life has been great since i met him. Everything is different. he accepts me for who i am, we finish each other's dark humors/jokes. We facetime everyday and never get tired of seeing each other. He met my family and i met his. Although we ldr, we make it work. There's ups and down of course and mostly bcs of me lmao cus i self sabotage a lot liddat. but im working on it. and also, i suck at communicating. mostly bcs i usually keep things to myself during my past relationships. but that's what im working on right now and i hope im doing well. besides that, i am finally content and happy. Not a day goes by i never thought of him. I truly love him and i cant wait for what the future holds for us.

Thanks for reading guys. (im probably talking alone rn)

[sage-the-goblin]

YES THIS!! When I started middle school I was constantly "twisting/spraining" my ankles. My mom would take me in to get checked out and he would tell her I was just growing and it was nothing to be concerned about, so she stopped taking me in after a while since she always got the same answer. When I was 11, I ended up "twisting" my right ankle so bad my mom had to carry me to the car and I couldn't walk for a week afterwards.

It took me living in pain for seven years before he finally gave in and I had an MRI to see what was wrong. It was not just because I was growing, turns out I was missing a ligament in my right ankle and I had a giant ganglion cyst in-between the bones of my left foot - to the point they cannot remove it with surgery, all they could do was drain it slightly and inject steroids in it. Everytime I had "sprained my right ankle" it was my bone slipping out of place and fracturing inside me.

I am 6 months post-op from my reconstructive surgery and still in physical therapy trying to regain full range of motion. According to my orthopedist and physical therapist, I may be healed but since there was such extensive damage, full recovery might take up to a year. Overall, I lived for so long in pain I didn't know walking could feel this painless.

Doctors need to listen to their patients. The patients are the ones who live everyday in their bodies, not the doctors, they know when something feels wrong or different. Brushing things off rather than looking at the problem from multiple angles leads to these misdiagnosis and patients suffering

This maybe sounds mean, but I think we should be able to send doctors “hey, you were wrong” letters.

I was misdiagnosed with asthma when I was 12 and took asthma meds daily for seven years, and then it turned out I hadn’t had asthma in the first place; I actually have a different breathing problem. I don’t think the doctor who told me I had asthma (my pediatrician, who I was no longer seeing by that point) ever found out she’d been wrong. (This is one of at least four misdiagnoses in my life, from a variety of doctors, that I can think of off the top of my head.) Similarly, my first therapist told me she didn’t think I was autistic because I wasn’t obsessed with trains. I don’t think she ever found out that I am, in fact, autistic, because I wasn’t seeing her by the time I was diagnosed.

I get that it might be demoralizing to have someone contact you specifically to tell you that you messed up, but I think it would be useful for doctors to have data on how often they misdiagnose patients, especially since some doctors tend to think the patient is generally wrong when attempting self-diagnosis. It would be useful for my former therapist to move me from the mental column of “people who erroneously think they’re autistic” to “people whose autism I did not notice when they were right in front of me.” It would be useful for my pediatrician to realize she needed to look more closely and listen to kids when their breathing symptoms weren’t the classic asthma ones.

Doctors can get on their high horse and refuse to believe patients a lot of the time, and the power dynamic makes that dangerous in plenty of situations. I think it would be helpful to have a way to at least alert doctors when we have proof they messed up.