#so I didn't feel AS worried.
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Do you think you can draw fem!Doom patrol Payneland? <3
Since the DBD ones are Charlotte and Edith, these shall be Charlie and Edwina(?)
#ask ask ask#payneland#dead girl detectives#doom patrol#dead patrol#no thoughts put into this only vibes#the doom patrol boys dress kinda modern so i didn't worry too much about accuracy#but i hope it FEELS like them u know?#girls patrol? lol
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Great and Tyme being worried about each other
4MINUTES (2024) EP. 5
#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#greattyme#thaidrama#uservix#userrlaura#raeblr#userbon#mjtag#rinblr#esmetracks#userrlana#userpetri#tusersilence#dramasource#dailyasiandramas#asianlgbtqdramas#fyeahthaidramas#tansgifs#gifs:fourm#i made this so i could stare at their expressions during those scenes truly masterclass in acting#the way you can feel great's pain in the 4th gif when tyme yells to let them try to kill him#the way great is just searching for anything to grasp at when showing his worry about tyme's well being didn't work in the 6th gif#and great desperately saying his grandma#he is so split between holding onto his parents and holding onto tyme because he doesn't want to lose what they have#and clearly he knows asking tyme to do it for him alone wouldn't work not only because he has no right to#but also because he simply doesn't think he even mean that much to tyme. it's not like he knows what it's like to mean stuff to people#i mean shit look at his relationship with his parents. so he uses grandma and it works#anyways i love the little smiles in gifs 14 15 16 when he can feel that tyme is worried about him#all i'm gonna say about tyme is we need to put that man on suiciide watch. anyways that's what I can say from great pov
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ok so i'm like. overwhelmed
i'm having one of the shittiest weeks of my life and i was really worried my store was going to be a complete flop (honestly i expected my friends to order some stuff and maybe a few other people and that was it)
and then half the things sold out in 2 hours so i'm!!!!! in shock
also the best part: the fundraiser stickers sold out completely!!
#ramble#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#i was already worried but after everything that happened with my ex i would've been Crushed if i didn't make anything back from this#but i did!!! and then some. and it's only been a few hours#plan is to hold off on restocking anything else until i get most of these out#and then keep the bestsellers and add and rotate other stuff#i have so many ideas#also i'm still taking suggestions!!! i want to give you things you actually WANT to own#also Also. i'm going to throw some little post it doodles into the bigger orders bc some of you spent MONEY. like a LOT of it#and i'm feeling very humbled and appreciative right now <33333
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So I've had this wip sitting in my folders for months now and decided to ressurect it to satiate the urge to draw these two again
#I actually finished a wip after abandoning it for so long alright iconic moment for me personally#this is them in the cab coming back from the warrens after getting their asses handed to them by all the szlachta#she handled herself a lil better but vincent is squishy and almost died like. 10 times#vtm#vtmb#the fledgling#brujah#oc.vince#oc.pepper#ship: viper#sleepyscribble#she looks a lil sad bc yk she nearly lost the dude and she starts realizing she liiikes hiiiiiim teehee#she legit doesn't know what she would do if she rlly lost him#but she doesn't think she's in love ofc ofc it's just that yk he's the only person she really feels like she can trust#and the only one she feels really good around and who she feels she could tell anything to#and tbh she hasn't felt this way with anyone else in a long long time even before she became undead and had to deal w the other kindred#but that's normal for a friendship yk this is just a really strong friendship why ruin it with romance right that's stupid#no she wasn't watching him take his shirt off with her eyes almost popping out of her skull the other day shhh that didn't happen#she doesn't even remember he has freckles on his back and a scar on his shoulder. the left one. she doesn't remember she wasn't even lookin#ANYWAY no lust no feelings she's fine don't worry abt it 👍🏻#viper art
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Soldier, Poet, Prince
#dorian storm#critical role#critical role fanart#cr3#my art#elzorton draws#did something unhinged and had all the coloring on a single layer#just had it clipped to an outline so i didn't have to worry about painting outside the lines#it was honestly kinda nice#it feels like it forced me to be more loose in my choises#and the default gouache brush in clip studio blends so nice
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As someone who's been a Team Starkid fan since the beginning, since 2009... do the young fans who only know hatchetfield know the old lore?? Do you know about crying in the choir room?? Do you know the door gag? Do you know Liam's got a phone call? Do you know about the iconic accidental sing along SanFran Con appearance? This isn't me being elitist or anything, I genuinely want to know! I just feel so very much older than all of you, all the time. Does anyone remember Tanya and her gay little blonde bob???
#starkid#team starkid#I remember every year during the summer I used to rewatch all their shows in order of upload#it didn't used to take so long#I can't remember the last time I did it#part of me misses pre Twisted Starkid#but then I realize I don't actually miss it#I miss being a kid and a teenager and not having to worry about bills and taxes and my next car insurance bill and next meal#Starkid is such a actual company but it has been for a while#I feel like people only take it seriously niw that they don't do blatant parody musicals#anyway I'm so excited for Cinderella's Castle#as number 1 fan and defender of Cinderella and her story I am pumped and excited to see what Starkid does with it#I pledged 25 dollars to the kickstarter cause that's all I had to give last month I was the 1964th pledger#I know new fandom always finds old fandom cringe and stupid but there was a simplicity back in 2009 that I'll always miss
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So I went to LFLS encore = last fanmeeting and now I feel sharper than ever that I really don't want to part ways with this universe 🥺
They pretended that it's Yeowoon and Myungha's first fanmeeting (following the canon story) which was so funny and cute and then also showed and talked a lot about behind the scenes work, Taevin and Joowan bickering with each other but also being sweet~
Taevin said he's proud to be one of the representatives of Korean BL genre and he hopes people will like BLs more, Joowan was also thankful and wished for everyone's happiness 🥺 They also said they'll forever love LFLS fans - which with the unfortunate happenings of BL rookie actors trying to erase BLs from their career I think it's also why people feel TaevinJoowan sincerity. I couldn't be more happy with my choice to stan!
AND THEY MADE A SURPRISE HI-TOUCH FOR US!! I saw them right in front of me?? Taevin's voice kills me every time and Joowan is so tall and SO SMILEY! I am still. Uh. Shaken. Okay?xD
And there were so many young and old fans, fanboys and fangirls and obviously queers, they call themselves "ssaem/teachers" and everyone's eager to give each other gifts - I got so many snacks and merch, couple and solo actors! Unfortunately, I didn't know anyone so I couldn't have long conversation but I still felt warm within the fandom and I'm sad that it's my first and last time to feel it *_*
Anyway. I feel like my hyperfixation won't go away easily, so I will definitely share more translations of the epilogue or fun moments in scriptbook when I read it, and maybe - uuu maybe I'll draw and make more fan projects because why not, if only I have more time 👉👈 And I also have to finish my OT3 spinoff story on AO3! So please, stay in this fandom with me 🥺
#you have no idea how surreal it feels to celebrate bl so loudly when I know it can get anyone in my country jailed#anyway i am so grateful and i kinda regret I didn't prepare fan gifts too but i was resting after worries about my kr visa#and i only remembered lfls fanmeeting was happening like a day before lmao#anyway this is such a great day ㅠㅠ such a happy day#dropthemeta#lfls#lfls comments#love for love's sake#love for love's sake comments#love supremacy zone#lee taevin#cha joowan#myungha x yeowoon#kbl#korean bl#diary#me
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im like the lorax when it comes to women's body hair. we should let it grow.
#eliot posts#the other day my roommate was talking abt how she hates shaving#but does it anyway bc she doesn't want people to be mean to her about her body hair#and i was like yeah i mean i used to#also worry about that bc my mother was always so fucking cruel to me when i didn't shave#but as an adult i find that it's extremely rare that anyone even mentions it (tho my body hair is pretty light so that could be a factor)#but even when people are shitty i find that i no longer give a shit about what what those idiots have to say about my body#but i understand that that can be a hard step to take so if you need to keep shaving for your own comfort then i won't judge#but on the inside i was just like#*ibuprofen hand meme* ''let's get called disgusting hairy d*kes together <3''#i had a great time showing off my pit hair at the pool today!#(i get read as a woman when im swimwear cuz i can't hide my body as much. so i get read as a hairy masculine woman.)#i show off my leg hair every time i wear shorts but like. my leg hair is Pathetic#i look practically prepubescent vis a vis my leg hair (my mother still calls it disgusting lmao)#but my pit hair is pretty good#i occupy a weird gendered place in society where i am more of a man in identify but society genders me as a woman#the only time i feel remotely okay being seen as a woman is when i am seen as a BAD woman. a woman who cannot/will not be A Proper Lady#it's not an entirely ACCURATE view of me but there's Something in it
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Subtext in The Creeping Man
I find that this story of Arthur Conan Doyle's Holmes canon features some of the most complex subtext we've had aside from A Study in Scarlet. But rather than being complex early-on because of our lack of knowledge of the characters, it is rather complicated by the fact that we both know too much and too little of their relationship. This story, with astonishing subtlety, conveys the cooperative relationship between Doyle's two characters — the nuance in their limits and strains, but also the joys that they work to reach, together. It emblemises the beauty of the Canon, where it all ties back to the joy and complexity of human understanding and belonging.
This story opens in "those latter days" (1903, near to Holmes's retirement) where Watson describes their relations as "peculiar". The word certainly feels like a euphemism from the ever-polite Dr. Watson, when it is soon made clear that their relations were far from amenable. Watson has become one of Holmes's "concentrated habits", and apparently is as good as a piece of funiture, as all of Holmes's remarks would have been as "appropriately addressed to his bedstead." It's given through snapped sentences; "I was a whetstone for his mind. I stimulated him. He liked to think aloud in my presence." This "irritation" and discordance between them is extremely concentrated in the early pages of this story, but drags through it, as well. Take, for example, the "laconic" (or perhaps iconic?) message:
"COME AT ONCE IF CONVENIENT — IF INCONVENIENT COME ALL THE SAME. S.H."
Watson gives us the original of Holmes's telegram to demonstrate to his readers just how "long-suffering" he is. A true exhaustion is apparent in how he simply shows the telegram, rather than politely referring to it. Compare this with the unendingly civil telegram sent to Watson in The Boscombe Valley Mystery, and you can see the great shift that has taken place in their alliance.
"HAVE YOU A COUPLE OF DAYS TO SPARE? HAVE JUST BEEN WIRED FOR FROM THE WEST OF ENGLAND IN CONNECTION WITH BOSCOMBE VALLEY TRAGEDY. SHALL BE GLAD IF YOU WILL COME WITH ME. AIR AND SCENERY PERFECT. LEAVE PADDINGTON BY THE 11.15."
While long-term and intimate relationships will remove need for over-courtesey, there are two very different reasons for why Doyle has shown both of these telegrams at a point in time. This accumulation of Holmes's ungrateful behaviour not only imparts Watson's utter despondancy, but also, importantly, Holmes’s — and this is something that Watson's ever-perceptive and intelligent heart does not fail to miss. It is important to note that this story nears Holmes's retirement, where he acknowledges that he has been "sluggish in mind". There is no doubt, then, that the great detective is out of his prime. Hence the temperementalness, taking his Watson for granted, and a heavier reliance on those "narrow and concentrated habits."
Despite the turbulent roads of their life, we see Watson's undying devotion co-exist with it. Past all the irritation, Watson closes, "Such was my humble role in our alliance." It is more than clear that he consciously makes the decision to remain at Holmes's side, to be his ally. Such has always been Watson's role in their alliance. His "humble" service extends to his practice as doctor and soldier. His pride is in his duty to others, and to Holmes as his assistant.
There is something that shines through Holmes's unsocial behaviour when we look closely at the text.
I sank back in my chair in some disappointment. Was it for so trivial a question as this that I had been summoned from my work? Holmes glanced across at me. "The same old Watson!" said he. "You never learn that the gravest issues may depend upon the smallest things."
We know from the Canon (opening of DANC and RESI) that Watson's emotions are like an open book to Holmes. This 'sinking in some disappointment' is not missed by Holmes's 'glance'. "The same old Watson!" he says, and I feel it important to note that he compliments one of Watson's most distinguishing features; his stability and fixture — the "one fixed point in a changing age." Yet, we may miss these details, because Holmes, ever in his own insecurity, must back-hand every praise with a teasing chide. We could say that an attempt was made to cheer Watson up, though not very successful.
Developments continue, as Holmes tryingly says "I had hoped to have a longer chat with you", then parades him with compliments before their client, "Dr. Watson is the very soul of discretion". But mixed indications continue to come as he flips back to patronising language; "You will appreciate it, Watson, when"—. Doyle further cements Holmes's particular unbecoming behaviour on this day as he further also annoys their client, who speaks in a "tone of reproach" when Holmes does not listen, and is "clearly annoyed" at irrelevant interruptions — to which, Holmes only smiles in, what I believe, is pure self-importance.
Here we find a shift — a greater effort on Holmes's part, a second round of appreciation for Watson's stability, even when his opinion is faulty. "Good, Watson! You always keep us flat-footed on the ground". He's then included in his bubble; "We were gradually coming to that conclusion, were we not, Watson?", and even a sordid attempt at bringing Watson with him on the bait of the Chequers in 'Camford' where "the port used to be above mediocrity and the linen was above reproach." (Which he follows up on!)
And, despite these attempts, their connection still does not rekindle. Watson is clearly irritated still with the inconsiderate easiness with which Holmes was able to leave London, leaving only difficulty on Watson's end to join him. It's an indicator from Doyle that nothing's remedied, yet.
Here is an interesting passage for study.
"Have you the effrontery necessary to put it through?" "We can but try." "Excellent, Watson! Compound of the Busy Bee and Excelsior. We can but try — the motto of the firm."
Burstive praise from Holmes at the merest utterance of a phrase — a phrase which has only ever been used one other time in the Canon; the previous story, The Problem of Thor Bridge. This suggests it may be some small motto of Holmes's, though one not often seen in Watson's records — this makes his use of the phrase a very Holmesian approach. This participation, no doubt, is nothing but a delight for Holmes, who is trying to restring their relationship, and continues to overenthusiastically affirm Watson's sturdiness.
Yet it's made clear that superficial praises are not a true apology, as we see signs yet again of Watson's dispassion. As they sit to their meeting with Professor Presbury, Watson writes:
Mr. Holmes smiled amiably.
This sentence may seem unassuming, but be assured it is one of the coldest in the Canon. This usage of "Mr. Holmes" is entirely unique within the Canon. In other times, when Watson has used "Mr. Holmes" or "Mr. Sherlock Holmes", it has been when speaking directly to his readers, since they would be using the honourific. This moment is the only exception, where Watson has intentionally used "Mr." to create distance and convey undesire for intimacy with Holmes (rather than any professional effect). Why has Watson used the line here? Well, Holmes is 'smiling amiably' — in a way that forces a friendly manner, one that attempts to create a good impression with Professor Presbury — which also didn't work out, by the way. Considering all the superficial means up to now employed by Holmes on his companion, Watson no doubt feels cheapened and no more important than Holmes's investigative objects; as if his trust is just as easy to gain as anyone else's, with nothing but an 'amiable smile'.
We are shown time and again that Watson isn't pleased with Holmes's desultory attempts at reconciliation, until finally, a shift happens. One that is not identifiable in the text, and so is reasonable to assume happened unpenned. We find Holmes acknowledging that "Dr. Watson has his patients to attend to", when before this information seemed completely irrelevant to him. Holmes even sent Watson a "short note asking [him] to meet at the train"! The greatest change is when we finally have Watson using "my friend" and "my comrade" for the first time in this story. Now we see Watson taking real excitement in the case, in the "assurance of [his] comrade". Self-teasing also makes its way into their dialogue as Holmes cries "Oh, Watson, Watson, what a fool I have been!" The emphasised address seems to suggest an apology for something more. It's as if he cries 'Look how wrong I have been Watson, how imperfect and daft I can be!' It's adorable, really.
All semblances of reproach towards Holmes disappear as they steal together in darkness, come to the dénoument of their adventure, as Holmes philosophises on science and nature, and described admiringly as "the man of action". Our story ends in a light-hearted resolution, as always.
"There is an early train to town, Watson, but I think we shall just have time for a cup of tea at the Chequers before we catch it."
To conclude, this story presents so much so subtly in its pages; a reflection of the small, nuanced and unseen processes between human beings, but those which we must be attentive to in order to find fuller understanding between each other. Yet, there is still much uncertainty in my inferences; which also shows the uncertainty of language and communication. We simply must be clear of ourselves, as we can only assume Holmes and Watson were, off-page, for them to have found that resolution, rather than fleeting smiles and compliments. Arthur Conan Doyle, with this story, further cements the triumph of bonds and connection, perhaps far more than any other of his stories.
#acd canon#sherlockian scholarship#sherlock holmes#acd holmes#classic literature#literature analysis#victorian husbands#fun fact I bummed out the LFW server with the “Mr. Holmes smiled amiably” line#was worried this was too long but I think all of this is necessary for my point#CREE is so underrated! I think it's brilliant for this reason#I don't actually care for the mystery. it's shit#the real mystery is whether Holmes and Watson actually made up while in Camford or not#ACD how are you so insanely good at subtext. you put so many treasures in the text for me to find and puzzle over. i love you#hashtag the indomitable human spirit#I could have also commented on some way more suggestive lines but they didn't feel relevant to this analysis#it doesn't actually matter if they're fucking or not sorry guys
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i’m really glad to see everyone saying that overall the show was amazing. i think because they made the bold choice to really go for it. like the boxing thing or the theories iceberg or the doll humping (can’t believe that’s a real thing i just said oh god) could’ve gone cringe if they hadn’t just fully committed to it. i knew i’d love it regardless but it’s sooooooo great to hear that it really was just a great fucking (heh) time. i’m that much more excited for my show now
Real it was SO GOOD!!! I have to be honest I was mentally preparing for it to be a bit cringe dsdfhkl but it really wasn't at all. My friend described it as having the exact right level of self-awareness, which I think was really accurate. They fully committed to everything, it felt like they were having a great time being on stage too! There were so many moments that made me genuinely laugh out loud, it was an incredible show and I really wanna see it again
#phan#dan and phil#dnp#titspoilers#i have to be honest i did not vibe with wad. i didn't see wad live so maybe it worked better in person#but i saw the livestream and recording and i just wasn't really feeling the humor and energy#and that's the only reference i have for their live shows since I haven't seen any of the others#so i was worried it would be a similar vibe to wad but it really wasn't#tit just worked so well it was so funny and genuine and yeah. thinking i might really have to buy a ticket for Amsterdam lmao#ask#also this was a really nice anon dhsjdjks like it's really nicely phrased. idk im really sleep deprived idk how to explain it
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Phil: Doin' a lot of traveling around the New Years. Oh boy, oof. Oh golly, oh gee. But it should be worth it! It should be really good. I'm looking forward to it, Kristin's looking forward to it.
Random Chatter: What about Tallulah and Chayanne?
Phil: I told them already what's going on. I already told them. They already know when I'm getting back and all that stuff, so.
Random Chatter: The cookies though?
Phil: [Shrugs] So? I'm... physically not here? [Laughs] There's more things - there's more important things in life than feeding a virtual egg cookies, I'm sorry to say, dude. [Laughs]
Random Chatter: Get Tubbo to feed eggs cookies.
Phil: [Laughs and mimics the chatter in an annoying voice] "Get this person!" "Get that person!" ALSO IGNORING THOSE PEOPLE ALSO HAVE LIVES! Jesus Christ. That says a lot about what you think of your streamer. Oh my god, dude. Let them have a fcking week off man! Let the Eggs have a week off, you kidding me? They're people, too, they're admins!
Random Chatter: The eggs need to live.
Phil: They do! By having a week off! [Laughs] Leave them alone! Holy fck! Good lord... If I- if- Dude. If anyone in my chat is genuinely like gonna come into stream, and like - be pissed off that different members of QSMP are just not logging in, I'm banning you on the spot, 'cuz that is so fcking toxically online of you. That is SO chronically online of you. You need to take a break, and I'm giving you that break. I'm forcing you to take a break from your PC. Fckin' get up from the - look away from the screen.
#Philza#Phil#QSMP#For real though it's WILD that some people genuinely have that mentality#People forget that the ccs need breaks and so do the Eggs!#many of whom are in college#and hell even if they weren't#they still need a break!#Plus it's the holidays#Context for this conversation in case it wasn't clear: Phil was talking about leaving for the holidays and said others will be too#and some random chatters got annoying spamming about the Eggs and saying they'll die#I didn't catch this live but I'm watching the VOD#Idk. QSMP is almost a year old and people still get worried about the same stupid stuff#''The eggs are gonna die! No one will take care of this specific Egg unless I spam their name in chat 100000 times!''#''Nobody cares about my fave and clearly I know better than actual members of the server''#Like. c'mon man be serious#Everyone loves the Eggs#I feel like a lot of fans really do need to unplug and remember that it's not that serious#and this is coming from someone who bawled their eyes out at Bobby's death#real ass people's lives matter more. Let them take a break#Q's said so many times that they Eggs matter and he wouldn't just kill them all off for the hell of it#anyhoo#December 25 2023#Q#Subtitles#Edited
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good omens as a tragedy (crowley got his slutty little waist grabbed only once when he was too high off laudanum to properly notice and next off he went to superhell)
#good omens#ineffable husbands#aziraphale x crowley#aziraphale#good omens s2#crowley#good omens 1827#i know where i'm going#good omens edinburgh#good omens shitpost#good omens brainrot#okayyy but i'm having real feelings about the difference in their remembrance of this moment#aziraphale must have written at least 5 pages worth of top secret diary entries depicting the feeling. we just didn't see it#he's never given crowley a hug before! it was a novel moment!! and he was entirely present and worried and so so fond and flirty even#absolutely ready to take care of crowley. for however long it'd take for the poison to wear off#including holding him close.#what would happen if Hell didn't notice? how would the night go?#*disintegrates into thin air*#marcela talks
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I love that even with all the lengths Stronghart went through to hide Kazuma's identity (using a mask to hide his eyes and a cloak to cover everything else, banning him from even speaking), the minute Ryunosuke saw him for the first time he suspected it. From his posture alone, they knew each other for about a year and were separated for like eight months and Ryunosuke could still identify his bbf from the way he stood like... Kazuma lost his memory, his identity, his... everything and Ryunosuke still clocked it, even though he literally thinks Kazuma is dead, that the prosecutor's masked apprentice is the whole reason he's even there at all.
Literally what else could Stronghart have done to hide Kazuma's presence from Ryunosuke, he did as much as he could but still Ryunosuke felt it immediately. This feels gayer than most of the yaoi I've come across, this is a major plot point in a romantic drama, this can't not be a trope in one of the kdramas my dad likes to watch on Netflix.
#I feel like if Ryunosuke was like 10% less busy he would've figured it out completely#he just has things to deal with...#also i love how he really wants to be a lawyer now when at the start of the series he was Not Into It#he did it for kazumas dream and bc he didn't want to let susato down and ruin the trip for her#but now hes fully intending on getting his own lawyer certifications and planning to wear both his own and Kazumas armbands#he started out so aimless but now he's found the thing he wants to be and its so nice#anyway barok has homosexual feelings for that mad scientist guy and I know we're supposed to feel bad for him bc his brother was 'killed'#but i dont really feel it yet#he needs to be nicer to me#i do love how worried Ryunosuke was for him after the attack that was kinda cute#they have the opposite views being 'just bc you're an asshole doesn't mean I think you should die' and 'i wont mourn the wicked'#also Ryunosuke being so convinced about the reapers curse is fascinating to me... it gives me ideas for my phoenix!Naruhodos au#andromeda plays tgaa#andromeda plays#asoryuu
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Yuma beings Astral's main concern even when Astral himself is in danger.
#Astral always worries about Yuma even when he is the one in danger to be honest#I think about this episode way too much#because those two always make me scream even when they are separated#I just can't with them I'm sorry#the second Astral felt that Yuma was calling for him he didn't care about anything else#even when he confronted Number 96#he sent Utopia to Yuma even if the Number was his only protection from 96#he got distracted in his escape because Yuma was in crisis#and even when he was literally on the verge of being absorbed by 96 even if he was in pain his only thought once again was Yuma#also the way Astral says Yuma's name in the third gif is so soft and sad#he was feeling that Yuma was giving up#Astral didn't have any idea of what was happening outside the Key#and aside from sending him Utopia Astral couldn't do anything else to help Yuma#and this breaks my heart#Astral loves Yuma so much#so much that I can't think rational when I think about them#they are so precious to me#and I love Astral so much I can't stop repeating it#keyshipping#astral zexal#astral yugioh#yu gi oh zexal#yugioh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal
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the thing abt the surgery is that yes I do get litle moments of being ecstatic it finally happened but also I just feel Normal now. like my base state for all my life up until last week was worry, horror, and panic when i'd occasionally remember the very unwanted thing my body was capable of, spiraling into what ifs on potential conflicts in my life and future... and now i just feel Not Stressed Out All the Time. Normal.
#talkys#and again that's still that i have not really ever been in active risk of anything happening LOL#god im so happy. im really considering the tattoo even though im not a tattoo person at all#ill see. it depends on how much my incisions/scars fade...but a small green line shouldn't be that bothersome to always be looking at...#ALSO tbf a tiny bit of the worry is still there... im gonna ask my doctor to detail everything about the photos he took of my insides#bc idk. what if they somehow grow back. what if he didn't remove all of em. ykwim. pair of noia#but that's also just due to regular health anxiety#actually you know what can i schedule a hysto. just to be super sure nothing can ever happen to me.#+ ALSO ALSO it didn't feel real every day leading up to it and it kind of still doesn't! like! who was that cheye! he wasn't scared at all!#no way i found a doctor to do it and my parents didnt fight me on it and my mom didnt scream and cry and cause a scene once there. YAY
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Something you start noticing is that people who hold delusional or "incoherent" beliefs have reasons for believing them that you might understand. There's this idea that delusional people or people who otherwise hold "out-there" views just... come up with them on a whim, but that isn't always the case. I find that when people start assuming that delusional beliefs come from nowhere, they think that they're really easy to just "snap out of," and it doesn't work like that.
You might not understand why somebody believes in something, but knowing that it is for a reason can remind you that they aren't being antagonistic. There is already a lot going on. The least you can do is understand where the person is coming from and offer compassion, not judgment.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#delusions#for me the last time i had a scare it was based in this primal fear of being targeted#so it wasn't like i believed the things i did because i thought i was in a grandiose position but because there was...#...this underlying fear of Not Being Safe Here. but i couldn't run. so i was a caged animal (that's how it felt)...#...and i feel like i didn't have it that bad either! but it was still scary and stressful and i did dumb things because of that fear...#...so it's made me realize that... you don't really Do That For Fun#you're already probably scared and isolated and worried and you want to do anything to feel like you aren't on metaphorical fire
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