#snow just loves beefing with literal children

[thesunrisesss]

I saw this in the comments from this TikTok AND WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED

[splashstar01]

Unofficial "Gayness Levels" of my 7 TOP TIER fave-of-all-time slash couples

(that I’m doing purely to pass the time whilst sick with covid, don't be mad at ratings, I adore them all & tried to be as non-biased as possible, looking purely at canon moments!! xD)

I TRIED NOT TO SPOIL ANYTHING. PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL.

Warning: This post is anti-Hinny & anti-Arwen. If that triggers you, don't read. In actuality, I don't hate Ginny or Gwen. Ginny got better in HPCC after she was no longer an annoying teenage girl, and Gwen is my fave girl! But I ship her with Lancelot, not Arthur! ;~;

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I will give spoiler warnings, as there are ships where the spoiling just had to happen in order to fully rank them. :| I will give ample spoiler alerts!

I worked diligently for hours each day since coming down with covid (after the 2nd day, because before then I was too weak to move). 

I tried making sure each ship had a proper fighting chance. My ships are like my children lol. X3 I went into this working from the top down, with assuming the best of them and trying to find evidence for why they were 5 stars in each category!! I wanted all my ships to get 5 stars across the board. But I also had to be partial/realistic, supporting the 5 stars with evidence, or lack thereof, in some cases.

Ships on the list (in no particular order. No, really, I used a randomizer to pick order lmao):

Renga

Drarry

Hannigram

Destiel

Asheiji

Merthur

Scorbus

Anime: Sk8 the Infinity--Renga (Reki & Langa)

Pros:

Deep Emotional Connection 

Affectionate 

Strong Chemistry

Semi-Canon Status

“During his beef against Shadow (a rival) in episode 1, his skating when he’s just coolly, narrowly avoiding rocks in that long 18-second cut, and his final jump, I fell in love with him just as Reki did when he saw Snow (Langa's skating name)!” ~Utsumi (creator)

Cons:

Lack of Explicit Romance: While the emotional and psychological depth of their relationship is clear, there’s no explicit romantic resolution in the canon yet (we only just got done with season 1). Fans are left with a lot of subtext, which, while meaningful, can be frustrating for those seeking concrete confirmation of their relationship beyond friendship.

One-Sided Vulnerability at Times: While Langa expresses his admiration and need for Reki in more overt ways, Reki tends to hide his struggles and insecurities, which at times creates emotional distance. Their dynamic leans more towards admiration and personal growth than deep codependence.

Ranking Renga's Gayness:

Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★★ 

Their frequent proximity and shared physical activities, like skateboarding and emotional hugs, show a lot of closeness. Their body language often communicates a sense of care. Skating together in such intimate, trust-filled moments adds a subtle layer of physical intimacy. While there aren’t overt romantic physical gestures, their body language and frequent proximity (like skating together and often emotional literal flying-bodies-on-the-ground hugs) show a lot of closeness. Their skateboarding together, sharing intimate experiences like teaching and encouraging one another, could be interpreted as a form of touch. But also once they shared a skateboard ;) Like, how gay is that? rofl xD

Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ Their emotional connection is the heart of their relationship. They provide each other with significant emotional support, and the anime highlights moments of vulnerability, particularly as Reki works through feelings of inadequacy while Langa seeks connection. Langa, a former snowboarder, relies on Reki to rediscover his love for -boarding (now skateboarding) after moving from Canada, while Reki finds confidence in Langa’s presence and validation in their friendship. Langa’s conversation with his mom, where he blushes while discussing his crush on Reki, further highlights the depth of their emotional bond. Reki and Langa openly support and encourage each other, creating a strong foundation for emotional intimacy. They have a close, supportive friendship with many moments of emotional vulnerability. Their emotional bond is built on a strong foundation of deep mutual care and admiration.

Obsession/Codependence: ★★★★☆ There are elements of obsession, especially on Langa’s side, as he becomes fixated on skating with Reki and their shared bond. Their relationship also affects their self-worth and happiness, which speaks to a subtle codependence. Langa cannot perform well without Reki, who is his main reason for skating. When they drift apart, their emotional turmoil is palpable, especially for Reki, who struggles with feelings of inadequacy. They lean on each other for emotional support and personal growth, though for Reki it doesn't cross into full-blown obsession or unhealthy codependency. Because the obsession/codependence is a little bit 1-sided, they get 4 stars instead of 5. 

Sacrifices: 5/5 ★★★★★

Reki sacrifices his time and energy to help Langa become a better skater, even when it impacts his own self-confidence. Meanwhile, Langa shows his deep affection by trying to bring Reki back into the fold after they drift apart. Both make sacrifices to maintain their friendship and emotional bond, though these are more emotional than life-threatening. Reki sacrifices his confidence and emotional security for Langa's sake, as he struggles with feelings of inferiority. Langa also makes emotional sacrifices by never flaunting how much better of a skater he is. Langa also takes Reki’s jealousy without retaliation or anger, only deep sadness. They each compromise and grow from their relationship, making personal sacrifices for the sake of their bond. While their sacrifices are more emotional than physical, they’re still significant.

During this fight, it was even raining. What a het trope, lol. Fighting in the rain... XD This was completely intentional.

Chemistry: ★★★★★ Their chemistry is undeniable, with a mix of playful banter, deep emotional support, and moments of jealousy and longing. Whether skating together or simply interacting, their dynamic is magnetic, and their friendship feels full of unspoken tension and affection. The chemistry between Reki and Langa is electric, with strong emotional tension and moments of clear admiration. Their relationship balances moments of fun and lightheartedness with deep emotional conflict and resolution, making their connection dynamic and impactful. The fact that fans—and even the creator—acknowledge Reki’s love-at-first-sight moment highlights the romantic potential. The dynamic between them is filled with tension and warmth, as they balance moments of fun, teasing, and heartfelt connection. Their bond drives much of the emotional intensity in the series, with their skateboarding journey acting as a metaphor for their relationship. (The show is mostly about their relationship, with skateboarding as a side/distraction lol)

How Canon?: ★★★★☆ 4.5 Renga falls into the semi-canon category, with the creator’s commentary and Langa’s blushing reaction to his mom asking about his feelings for Reki. The romantic subtext is strong, and there’s creator intent to show Reki and Langa’s relationship in a romantic light. The creator openly discussed Reki’s admiration for Langa from the start. However, despite these clear hints and the romantic subtext, there’s no explicit confirmation of their relationship on-screen, keeping it from being fully canon for now. Nonetheless, the anime provides more than enough material to consider them as a semi-canon romantic pairing.

During episode 8, while Langa's mom was asking him about why he seemed so down in the dumps, his mom related his story to an experience she once had, presumably about his dad. Because of that, she tells him it would be better if he was honest about his feelings. She asks him to confirm, (in both English and Japanese dubs), "You like this person, don't you?" Langa replies with a shocked yet toned down blush, and eventually Utsumi (the creator) confirmed he does romantically like "this person" (Reki). During that same episode, in the original Japanese dub, his mom says it as "Sukina ndesyo?" which translates to what the English sub or dub said. The word "Suki" In Japanese means "like", however, in contexts like this, it translates to "romantic love."

Final Summary:

Touchy-Feely Levels: 5/5  ★★★★★

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★

Obsession/Codependence: 4/5 ★★★★☆

Sacrifices: 5/5  ★★★★★

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★

How Canon?: 4.5/5 ★★★★☆

Total: 4.75 out of 5 stars

2. Series: Harry Potter--Book!Drarry (Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter)

Both original Harry Potter book artwork by Jim Kay.

Before reading the books, I thought Drarry was a total crack ship & I didn't like movie!Draco. I thought he was a simple bully. I read the books for Snape x Lily. But Snily ship sunk faster than the Titanic, and in its place was this glorious OTHER! Drarry actually has a ton of textual evidence/support & I couldn't deny the gay anymore lool.

Pros:

Obsession & Codependence

Chemistry

Sacrifices

Tons of Intimate Moments (in the official last installment, the play HPCC--Harry Potter & The Cursed Child (which focuses on Harry & Draco's sons Scorbus (who is also on this list). Most of the fandom hates HPCC, but it's the book with one of the best drarry so I'll gladly take it lol.)

JKR (the TERF) randomly hates Draco, & she hates the ship. BUT: I compiled the Drarry Bible, a 98k word doc of all the Drarry scenes/how they are accidental literal soulmates! Read first if you're mad about smthn I said (even if you've read the series—many Drarry shippers have been stunned by its contents). I have text proof!

Cons:

Never becomes canon—it's mostly fan interpretation of the canon text where JKR accidentally writes them out as utterly in love. I was never looking for the gay with Drarry. I disliked Draco, I was there for the Snily. Why would I want Harry with his bully? The gay ran me over.

Very little physical intimacy, though the emotional intensity is powerful and the times they do have physical intimacy are very profound.

Obsession & Codependence:

"Harry, however, had never been less interested in Quidditch; he was rapidly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy." ~Harry Potter & the Half-blood Prince

Rating: 5/5

Obsession levels are extremely high for both characters. Draco spends a good chunk of the series fixated on Harry, while Harry reciprocates by fixating on Draco’s every move (even when he's not being suspicious, which is most of the time). The fact that they stare at each other, know each other’s habits, and even unintentionally hurt themselves due to this obsession solidifies this. Codependence emerges in how much they seem to thrive on this rivalry and attention from each other. Their mutual fixation and obsession with each other feel incredibly intense, with shades of romantic tension, especially given how the entire school, even staff, pick up on it. Their obsession feels very queer-coded, even if not canonically romantic.  Draco spends five out of seven books completely fixated on Harry (even in books where he's not like The Half-blood Prince & Deathly Hallows, there's still plenty of gay)! And Harry is obsessed with Draco in return.

From the Drarry Bible:

They are constantly staring at each other for no good reason (like all the way across the Great Hall during lunches). They shout at each other all the way across the Great Hall too, making their obsession obvious for the whole school (because the whole school has same lunch period). They are literal walking encyclopedias of the other. Draco talks about Harry constantly to anyone who would listen (Harry is his favorite topic...), and thus the whole school knows about his big gay crush on Harry, including the staff, his parents (especially his father who told him to STFU about Harry since he was talking about Harry literally all summer lmao), and even Voldemort was highly suspicious in the last book, to Draco's father's horror. Harry is equally obsessed over Draco, so much so that he gets hospitalized because he’s thinking about Draco too much during a Quidditch match and gets hit. Also, the staff, Draco’s mother, and Ron’s dad knows about Harry’s crush on Draco (Ron’s dad is amused by it)… Draco is so obsessed over Harry that he makes ‘Potter stinks’ badges and charms enough for all 3 Houses and gives them out for FREE! (He's his own personal Harry Potter fanclub..) And Harry, despite pretending to be furious, secretly kept one! (He brought it home and kept it under the bed with the rest of his special souvenirs from school lolololol I can't even with this!) Their last encounter before that school year was out (his only time to be able to have taken a Potter Stinks badge) was even another argument with Draco on the train.. Lmaao! And all along, little did Draco know, Harry had a badge tucked away on his person. And brought it home with him. And it still works even years later because that’s how much care Draco put into making them (who does this??) And there’s no way you would put all that effort into doing it for someone you’re not totally crushing on but talk about constantly and watch all the time and use every excuse in the book to try to talk to.  Like one year he even faked an arm injury and then later admitted to Harry he was just trying to get Harry to help him out in their class. So he kept complaining until Snape finally gave him Harry as a lab partner. XD This gay, I swear.

2. Chemistry:

Rating: 5/5

The enemies-to-something dynamic creates a palpable push-pull tension. Draco’s teasing and Harry’s confused reactions lead to charged moments, and their chemistry seems more alive than with other characters. The emotional and physical energy between them is notable and strong. Draco teases Harry constantly because he's upset Harry rejected his friendship (this was confirmed by Draco himself in his confession to Harry in HPCC). Harry confusing anger for arousal (he'll be "mad" but stares constantly, never agree with Ron when Ron makes fun of Draco's looks or wishes ill on him, & immediately perks up at any mention of Draco's name bc Draco is also secretly his fave topic lol). Draco’s teasing, and their back-and-forth feels emotionally charged and reads like many classic queer-coded rivalries.  The push-pull, enemies-to-something dynamic is strong. Draco and Harry have a charged energy whenever they’re around each other. As Draco smirks-winks at him, Harry sometimes acts the part of the 'blushing maiden' with Ron to defend him. His face flushes, and he gets really quiet sometimes. One time Harry was standing towards the front of the school and all the other kids were standing too, but Harry was wondering where Draco was, so he turned his head and looked for him as Dumbledore was speaking, and Draco was sitting instead of standing, and staring straight ahead. So Draco obviously sees Harry just try to find him and Harry just turns back to the front after finding Draco (which totally gave himself away). That's like, so fucking embarrassing. JKR said Ginny was meant to represent his dead mother Lily, which is why like Lily, Ginny has flaming red hair. (Kinda creepy to make the wife physically look like the mom, but okay.) Not to mention, with Ginny's family, which is Ron's family since Ginny is Ron's little sister, the family basically adopted Harry in as their own, making them Harry's first 'real' family. This suggests that his connection with Ginny is more about emotional security than romantic passion, which explains why he's never truly as obsessed with her as with Draco. Their het romance was so sudden and lacking in passion that some fans theorize Ginny used a love potion. (Literally, Harry had a bigger girl crush on Cho than he ever did Ginny.) Harry & Draco’s obsession with each other is love-potion extreme all throughout the series (the way Harry would be with Draco would almost feel like the way Ron would describe his feelings this one time Ron accidentally took a love potion). In HPCC, they are friends and without even being there for their intimate 1v1 talks, they must be acting so friendly because Ron points out that they’re so “chummy-chummy” now! And their Quidditch matches became like their impromptu dates that they both looked forward to. (Harry was hospitalized bc Draco was skipping his matches that year, so during a match with Hufflepuff, he was thinking about where Draco could be and that's when he was hit. (Everything I say are book passages--feel free to search them up in the Drarry Bible above.)

3. Sacrifices:

Rating: 5/5

Both make significant sacrifices for each other, risking not just their lives but the well-being of loved ones. Draco’s risking the lives of himself and his family’s for Harry is particularly telling given JKR confirmed that nothing is more important to him than family (except Pottah I guess *snicker*)! While Harry repeatedly saves Draco, even risking the lives of himself and his two besties who are like his own family (of course Harry is an orphan and has no living blood relatives except the Dursleys, so the few found family he has are everything to him…..) During the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco saves his life from his two friends, screaming “DON’T KILL HIM! DON’T KILL HIM!” (Draco rarely ever screams) and of course when Draco needs rescuing immediately after, Harry is the first one there!! Even as Ron screams that if they die, he’ll kill Harry lol. So Harry risks the lives of his two best friends to fly back in and rescue his big gay crush. He rescues Draco while his friends get Goyle. Harry honestly didn’t give a shit about Draco's friends, he was going straight for Draco. If he’d really cared about rescuing the one in most need, he would’ve gone for Goyle first who was in much worse shape….. Or Crabbe. Crabbe ended up dying in the fire. 😓

Though this doesn’t cement a romantic relationship, the emotional investment is high. Sacrificing one’s life or risking safety of other loved ones for each other shows deep emotional ties. The risk-taking for each other’s sake has undertones of devotion that could easily be read as a more-than-platonic connection. Harry's repeated acts of saving Draco’s life, even putting his best friends at risk, and Draco's willingness to risk his family's safety for Harry, show a profound level of sacrifice. The fact that both characters are willing to risk everything for each other, including their lives and the well-being of loved ones, underscores the magnitude of their sacrifices and devotion. Draco’s intense vulnerability in HPCC further emphasizes the depth of their emotional connection. Draco shows an intense vulnerability in the final book, opening the door for an emotional connection for HPCC. Unlike the movies, he never goes to Voldemort’s side in the end. He chooses Harry’s side, even though Harry’s side isn’t his parent’s side. He does this because he soon realized in book 6 that he can’t stomach violence (unlike James Potter—Harry’s violent bully of a father who was planning the murder of a fellow student but backed out last minute), but also I’m sure Harry being over on that side pushed him over the edge.  Even during the duel from HPCC, where Draco initiated it as he was trying to get Harry to allow their gay sons to be together, Draco didn’t really want to hurt Harry. His attack spells were mild, much less lethal than his spells during school in their duels (like, Harry used two spells: tickle & forced dancing... while Draco used spells that shoved Harry and etc etc.. it was all very mid).

4. Emotional Intimacy:

Rating: 5/5

So Draco always wants to use every excuse to talk to Harry. That's why every single year on the train (except the 6th book, there was no 7th year since Harry went on the run that year), Draco would go meet up with Harry to talk to him before school starts probably because he missed him over the summer. awwwww LOL. And in the year Draco didn't go to him, Harry put on an invisibility cloak and went to Draco, because Draco, a 16 yo kid (mind you, in HP, 17 is legal adult age), went shopping without his mother! And this going shopping alone made Harry so suspicious of Draco and Harry's two friends were with him the whole time, but neither of them thought it was that suspicious and they literally get so sick of Harry talking about Draco non-stop that year that they tune him out. Harry proceeds to use a magical map to track all of Draco's movements that year, going as far as ducking into bathroom stalls to check where Draco is. LMAO! These boys will be the end of me... -,-; HPCC adds fuel with their intimate conversations where Draco confesses his true feelings about their school rivalry—that he just wanted to be besties with Harry & was jealous of Ron & Hermione because they got to be Harry’s friends while he had to force his way into Harry’s life through mean teasing just to be able to talk to him! Their interactions go far beyond what we see in Harry’s interactions with many other characters in the play, and now that they’re adults and civil, the depth of their bond escalated like wildfire, which leaves the audience wondering how much closer they would get after the play when they’re now actual friends! Considering their innate obsession with one another and need to be close….. And the fact that Harry and Draco are both pretty queer-coded gay men.... (The books are told from 1st POV so we know exactly what Harry was feeling and who he kept staring at, and he was definitely never staring at Ginny....)

Emotional intimacy is often a hallmark of romantic or queer connections. The vulnerability Draco shows and the fact that he was so obsessed with becoming friends with Harry shows a deeper connection than rivalry. In HPCC, Draco admitted to Harry that he was never jealous of his fame, just his friends. Naturally, Ron got to be friends with Harry, so that's why Draco had such a hatred for him.

Harry knows Draco better than anyone else, even though Draco is really good at hiding his feelings with occlumency (the magic of closing one's mind against mind reading, which requires a strong ability to hide feelings). Harry is the only one who can still see past it despite the fact that they’re not even friends. Likewise, Draco knows Harry really well and is the only one to know Harry well enough that he knew Harry wouldn’t attack those students in Chamber of Secrets during a time when most of the school suspected Harry. He also knew that Harry wasn’t the heir of Slytherin despite most of the wizarding world, including his dad who he idolizes, thinking Harry must’ve been some dark wizard in order to blast Voldemort away as a baby. 

In HPCC, Draco was the one who was most worried for Harry when Harry volunteered to go confront Voldemort (I cannot make this up, he was literally panicking like how he does in fanfics.... llol like aww so sweet), and Harry was the one Draco was most worried about, despite the fact that Harry was the head of the DMLE (Department of Magical Law Enforcement—Head Auror) AND the only one to have repeatedly gone face to face with Voldemort & lived of all the people there (Ron, Harry, Hermione, Draco, and their gay 14 year old sons). 

Harry worries endlessly about Draco when he knows Draco is in a tight spot. They are soulmates, one half of the same whole. They are the only two who really know what the other went through in regards to Voldemort. Harry saved Draco in more ways than one. In HPCC, they had far more special moments with each other than with literally anyone else in the play, far more than Harry with his wife (Draco’s wife died of illness at the beginning of the play). 

In the books, Harry was never really attracted to any of the girls. His biggest girl crush was Cho (crush on Ginny/wife doesn’t even come close so the fandom never talks about her because there’s barely any book quotes to bounce off of!), but even that crush paled in comparison to his obsession over Draco. Even though Cho's table was closer to his, he'd never look at her during lunches... He'd look right over her to look at Draco.................. YUP. This is why Drarry is such a huge ship. JKR was not subtle.... yet she claims Drarry is all in our heads! In Harry's internal monologue, he was mostly checking out other guys, but mostly Draco. Literally all the guys he thought were handsome had Dracos’s eye color! 🤔 Sus much? LMAO. There was no guy he found attractive that did NOT have Draco’s eye color.

In HPCC, Draco was so quick to forgive Harry (he was mad enough that he went to Harry's house and started fighting him and they fucked up the kitchen by throwing chairs etc.. & generally reverting back to their schoolboy days!!! lmao), even though Harry never apologized! They have such soft spots for one another, and Harry is always just as fast to forgive, esp in school. v_v

The depth of their connection is highlighted by their intimate conversations in HPCC, and in all the books, their deep understanding, and concern for each other. Their interactions go beyond typical rivalry, displaying vulnerability, trust, and a soulmate-like bond. The way they save and forgive each other, along with their unique understanding of one another’s experiences w Voldemort. Everything thus far suggests an extraordinary level of emotional intimacy that Harry doesn't even have with Ron. Ron and Harry are like, BFFs, but Draco is like the boyfriend/lover. Different types of closeness. They have a profound, unspoken connection where they are drawn to each other like moths to a flame, coupled with the significant moments shared between them.

In the main books, Harry went to fight Voldemort with Draco’s stolen wand that he didn’t officially win in a duel. Wands are a wizard’s heart & soul. And also Draco’s wand was unicorn-core, meaning it’s extremely loyal. Harry shouldn't have been able to get it to work, but Draco’s wand was friendly towards Harry, unlike Draco’s maniacal aunt Bellatrix’s wand. So, because Draco’s wand, along with Harry, defeated Voldemort, Harry was basically fighting Voldemort with Draco’s heart and soul. Aawweeeee. Gayeest battle lmao, and just like that, DRARRY saved the day/world! The wand was only friendly with Harry because it could sense that Draco truly cared for Harry…. 😏 In HPCC, Harry and Draco talk as friends for the first time, and Draco stops calling him 'Potter,' while never once using Ron's first name lol. Draco is also the only one able to get through to Harry on a topic that not even Ginny or McGonagall could. They bond and their moments together are so electric, unlike any other relationship in the play aside from their gay sons.

5. Touchy-Feely:

Rating: 2.5/5

There’s little physical touch beyond duels and Quidditch, where Draco’s physical attacks seem to have an undertone of excitement (like literally in HPCC.. where Harry used a tickle spell on Draco and also a dancing spell....LMAO XD like.. bruh... just ask him for dance lmao). Physical intimacy is minimal but emotionally charged. The touchiness is more indirect, stemming from aggressive physicality, but in the context of their obsession, it seems like Draco gets some satisfaction from the physical encounters. When Harry rescued Draco from the fiendfyre, Draco was “holding Harry so tightly it hurt” and shouting in his ear. ;) lmaoooo. How.... intimate.

While physical touch is minimal, the moments that do occur are emotionally charged and hold significance, particularly in the context of their interactions. Draco would always try to hit him during their Quidditch matches because he seemed to get off on any sort of touch with Harry. The touch is more about tension, aggression, and heightened emotion rather than tenderness, but it still conveys a sense of intimacy, especially in moments like the fiendfyre rescue.

6. How canon? 

Rating: 2/5

While Drarry is not canonically confirmed as a romantic relationship, the strong obsession, chemistry, and emotional intimacy make it a compelling interpretation for many. Their secret love is definitely real in their world, since JKR wrote them that way--as closet gays by total accident, but the official canon does not explicitly confirm their romantic connection. ;_;

Final Summary:

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★

Obsession & Codependence: 5/5 ★★★★★

Sacrifices: 5/5 ★★★★★

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★

Touchy-Feely: 2.5/5 ★★★☆☆

Canon? 2/5 ★★☆☆☆

Total: 4.08 out of 5 stars

3. Show: Hannigram--(Hannibal Lecter & Will Graham)

Pros:

Obsession & Codependence

Intimate Moments

Chemistry

Sacrifices

When asked about the relationship between Will and Hannibal: "For me, Hannibal has always been a romantic horror story. Even from the get-go of the series." ~Bryan Fuller (Creator)

Cons:

Not the touchiest duo in terms of physical affection—this is all about the mental, emotional, and psychological tango.

Chemistry: ★★★★★ 5/5 The chemistry between Hannibal and Will is both terrifying and compelling. Their intellectual sparring, emotional vulnerability, and seductive manipulation create a deep, electrifying connection. Even without explicit romantic actions, the tension between them is palpable in every scene, pulling them together in a destructive yet irresistible bond. Every glance or exchange feels weighted with unspoken desire. Their chemistry is magnetic and dangerous. Every scene between Will and Hannibal is charged with tension. Their chemistry builds on manipulation, psychological games, and seduction, creating a connection that feels as inevitable as it is destructive. Even without traditional romance or intimacy, their bond is electrifying and nearly impossible to look away from. Electrifying, built on mutual manipulation, psychological chess, and seduction.

Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ 5/5

Hannibal and Will's intimacy comes from their deep psychological connection rather than physical affection. Their relationship is built on understanding each other's darkest desires and fears, allowing them to share a closeness that few could replicate.

Though physical touch is rare, the sheer intensity of their mental and emotional intimacy makes their relationship profoundly intimate. While Will and Hannibal’s relationship isn't traditionally physical, their intimate moments are charged with emotional depth and psychological intensity. They share many intellectual exchanges that build the feeling of closeness. They even ‘adopt’ a daughter together and Hannibal planned to have them all run away together. They have an intense intellectual intimacy.

Obsession & Codependence: ★★★★★ 5/5 Hannigram is defined by mutual obsession. Hannibal’s fixation on Will is all-consuming, while Will is constantly torn between his own fascination and fear of Hannibal, creating a dark, codependent relationship where both seem incapable of letting go of each other. Their love becomes destructive but undeniable, spiraling into mutual obsession. They are unable to escape each other, deeply intertwined in a codependent relationship. Their unhealthy dependency elevates their connection to an extreme, spiraling into an all-or-nothing love that leaves no room for anything else in their lives. Off the charts! Hannibal’s love is an all-consuming, dangerous obsession. Will’s constant mental push-and-pull with Hannibal’s influence shows a deep, dark co-dependence.

Sacrifices: ★★★★★ 5/5

*SPOILERS FOR ENDING IN THIS SECTION OF SACRIFICES*

Both Will and Hannibal are willing to sacrifice everything for the other—morality, lives, innocence, and even their own sanity. By the end of the series, they are both willing to kill for each other (Hannibal even kills someone he loves deeply for Will), and the finale showcases that ultimate willingness to die together with the cliff scene—where they metaphorically and literally fall together—marking their ultimate sacrifice for their bond. It’s the kind of all-consuming bond where nothing is off-limits. Will sacrifices his sense of self. Hannibal sacrifices his plans, resources, and carefully cultivated image just for Will. Will, despite being a force for good, is willing to compromise his values, embrace darkness, and sacrifice the safety of others for Hannibal.

Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★☆ 4.5/5 They share many sensual moments that add to the relationship's intensity. When Hannibal and Will touch, it's brief but deeply charged, loaded with meaning. Not to mention, they almost kissed in the series finale! The physical touches between Will and Hannibal are subtle yet charged with deep emotional and psychological intensity. These touches include Hannibal’s caring, almost possessive gestures like touching Will's face during so-called “medical examinations,” symbolic dream sequences where they merge together, and the highly intimate moments like when Hannibal cradles a wounded Will or helps him to his feet after a fight. They excel in emotional and psychological closeness, and when the physical aspect is present, it feels like an event—transformative, even. While not overly frequent, these moments reflect their complex, entwined relationship, blending care, control, and fascination.

Their almost-kiss:

How Canon: ★★★★★

Creator Bryan Fuller has confirmed that Hannibal was always meant to be a romantic horror story, and the series shows that explicitly by the end. The romantic subtext becomes full-on text, particularly in the final two seasons, with both Will and Hannibal entangled in a twisted, deadly love story. There’s no ambiguity here—by the end, their love is openly acknowledged by the characters, even if it manifests in the most dangerous of ways.

Final Summary:

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★

Obsession & Codependence: 5/5 ★★★★★

Sacrifices: 5/5 ★★★★★

Touchy-Feely Levels: 4.5/5 ★★★★☆

How Canon:  5/5 ★★★★★ 

Total: 4.91 stars out of 5.

4. Show: Supernatural--Destiel (Dean Winchester & Castiel)

Pros:

Sacrifices 

Chemistry

Obsession & Codependence

Intimate Moments

Cons:

*Spoilers for the end*

Dean’s side of things is a little more ambiguous despite Cas’s confession. Plus, they never fully addressed it beyond that.

1. Chemistry: ★★★★★

Level: 5/5

*SPOILERS*

The chemistry between Dean and Cas is electrifying, built on years of longing, emotional tension, and deep connection. They have 12 seasons of unresolved tension, with countless lingering looks and longing stares, moments of vulnerability, and emotional conversations. It's the kind of chemistry that often leaves viewers wondering why they haven't kissed yet. The show builds their interactions like a slow-burn romance that plays on subtlety and emotional depth, though it’s more about their soulful connection than physical. Cas’s confession solidifies what fans had known for years: that their bond went beyond simple friendship. The way Dean and Cas interact, often like a long-term couple with unresolved feelings, makes their chemistry undeniable, even though it took seasons for the show to confirm it outright.

Literally all the characters thought they had a thing for each other. LOL. Many joke that they are boyfriends and "attached at the hips."

2. Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★

Level: 5/5

Their emotional intimacy is high-level. They are a very serious couple with deep emotional issues that they have to sort out. (Like long-term husbands do. V_V) This ship is a deeper/more serious pairing for sure, though they do have moments of humor. Dean allows Cas into his guarded heart, which is no small feat, and Cas is always there for Dean through every moment of vulnerability. Their deep conversations and emotional moments reveal layers of feelings that go beyond mere friendship. We finally got the canon confirmation of Cas’s love for Dean after over a decade of so-very-obvious pining, making the relationship feel even more profound and intimate.

3. Obsession & Codependence: ★★★★☆

Level: 4/5

Dean and Castiel’s relationship is incredibly co-dependent. Cas literally falls from heaven for Dean and sacrifices everything—his family, his angelic duties, even his life—multiple times for him. Dean is deeply torn between his responsibilities and his feelings for Cas. They constantly come back to one another after fights and disagreements (where 95% of the time, Dean is in the wrong), with Dean repeatedly apologizing and choosing Cas, and of course, Cas always is very willing to take him back and accept his apology, even after this one time when he beat Cas to a bloody pulp and almost stabbed Cas to death. Dean later got flashbacks of this, as it traumatized him. (Dean was not in a good place. He was battling the Mark of Cain, which he willingly took on to save the world, as he, being so selfless and self-sacrificing, tends to do.) Their obsession with each other drives many of the show's conflicts, creating an undeniable codependency. They often live/travel together and are total husbands! Their lives revolve around each other. They (along with Sam) raise an adopted newborn son together in their bunker/permanent home, and the son calls them his “three dads.” 🥺 Very domestic! (Their infant son is 2 by series finale but chose to come into the world in the body of a 27-year-old man—the same age as Jensen/Dean in season one, because he knew otherwise he wouldn't be safe. GOOD CALL!) The only reason they lose a star is because Dean will always put his brother Sam above all else, so Cas will never truly be his number one. Meanwhile, Cas’s entire character arc revolves around Dean, while Dean is constantly torn between the mission and his feelings for Cas.

4. Sacrifices: ★★★★☆

*SPOILERS FOR THE END IN THIS SECTION*

Level: 4/5

Cas repeatedly sacrifices everything, including his angelic status, heaven, his powers, his family, and eventually, his life, all for Dean. Dean, in turn, sacrifices his emotional barriers, constantly letting Cas in despite the risks to his heart. Dean shows sacrifice in his emotional openness. Cas’s ultimate sacrifice, confessing his love and then dying whilst saving Dean’s life, is the culmination of years of devotion. Castiel’s sacrifices are larger in scale than Dean's, often costing Cas everything. Castiel's arc is defined by his devotion to Dean, making him one of the most selfless characters in the series. Cas literally died for Dean—multiple times. Cas throws away all of heaven/his family that he’s known since the beginning of time all for Dean. Dean has repeatedly shown emotional vulnerability and trust towards Cas, which is significant given Dean’s mega-guarded ‘macho’ nature. This emotional openness often puts Dean at risk of emotional pain and betrayal (Dean has secretly cried many times over Cas, and this man doesn't cry!) Dean has said that he considers praying to be begging, but yet he prays to Cas all the time, especially when they can't be together, or are in the middle of an argument and are physically separated. Dean’s dedication to Cas sometimes strained his relationships with others, including his brother Sam, and led to conflicts. But because Cas’s sacrifices are far more extreme and Dean’s sacrifices are much less, they get 4 stars. Ultimately, Cas overwhelmingly sacrifices more with much less in return.

5. Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★☆☆ 3.5/5

Level: 3.5/5

Dean and Cas have an intense emotional connection, and although they aren't the most physically affectionate, there are a number of moments of close physical proximity, like when they hug (which they do five times!), or their many lingering touches, pats on backs or shoulders, eyesex, longing stares, one time Cas even showed up on Dean's car naked and covered in bees (LOL), but they lack the constant hand-holding and easy constant physical affection or constant physical proximity that might we see with some other slash ships. This is likely due to the show’s ambiguity surrounding Dean’s feelings. Their relationship thrives on emotional and psychological closeness, rather than touch. Their connection is more about the soul than the body, though the longing gazes certainly count! 

6. Canon?: ★★★★★ 5/5

*SPOILERS IN THIS WHOLE SECTION*

Cas’s love for Dean is explicitly confirmed, which cements the ship as canon from Cas’s perspective. While Dean doesn’t reciprocate in words, his emotional reaction and devastation suggest strong feelings of reciprocation. Dean’s side remains just slightly ambiguous onscreen (us shippers see it plain AS DAY especially with all the parallels to them being an epic romance!), and Misha Collins (Castiel) was quick to confirm that:

"Dean was always too shocked in the moment to respond." ~Misha Collins

While the show stops just short of fully embracing the romance, the confession is a pivotal, iconic moment. The confession remains one of the most iconic moments in the show.

Final Rankings:

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★  

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Obsession & Codependence: 4/5 ★★★★☆ 

Sacrifices: 4/5 ★★★★☆ 

Touchy-Feely Levels: 3.5/5 ★★★☆☆ 

Canon? 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Total: 4.41 stars out of 5

5. Anime: Banana Fish: Asheiji (Ash & Eiji)

Pros:

Themes of Healing and Redemption

Tons of Emotional Intimacy

Obsession/Codependence

Many Sacrifices

Loads of Chemistry

Cons:

Lack of Explicit Physical Canonization: While the emotional bond is undeniable, the relationship is never physically explicit in the traditional sense. For fans looking for more open romance or physical intimacy between characters, the lack of canonized romantic development might feel unsatisfying.

Ratings:

Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★☆☆ 3.5/5 stars

They have notable moments of physical closeness, such as tender/supportive hugs and the kiss that totally took Eiji by surprise (to pass a secret note to him), when Eiji helps get Ash into the shower, and they occasionally touch lightly, but it's not the primary focus of their relationship. Their bond is more about emotional connection and shared experiences.

Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Extremely high levels of emotional intimacy. Their relationship is built on deep emotional support and understanding, making it a core aspect of their connection. Ash and Eiji share a profound emotional bond that transcends traditional definitions of friendship or romance. Eiji represents a source of light and peace in Ash’s dark, violent world, while Ash becomes Eiji’s protector and emotional anchor. This deep emotional intimacy is one of the most compelling aspects of their relationship. Ash allows himself to be vulnerable around Eiji in ways that he does with no one else. Eiji becomes the only person Ash trusts entirely. Eiji feels safe with Ash, even when surrounded by danger, showing how much faith he has in Ash's abilities and care. Eiji symbolizes hope and healing for Ash, offering him a chance to escape his tragic life. Their relationship serves as a narrative of redemption, as Ash, who is accustomed to violence and manipulation, finds unconditional love and acceptance in Eiji. Their love, while not super explicit, is often interpreted as deeply romantic by fans due to the intense emotions they share. Their relationship transcends labels, making it a beautiful representation of love in its purest form—one that defies societal conventions. Their emotional connection is profound. Ash and Eiji share a deep bond characterized by mutual support, understanding, and a strong emotional connection. Their intimacy is central to their relationship.

Obsession/Codependence: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Asheiji involves strong codependence with significant emotional impact. Their connection is deeply entwined, and they are both obsessed with each other to the extreme. All Ash can think about is Eiji, which leads to enormous consequences. Eiji for his part, loves Ash and obsesses over him endlessly. They demonstrate a significant level of codependence. Ash and Eiji are deeply intertwined in each other's lives, and their relationship profoundly affects their actions and decisions.

Sacrifices: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

They make notable sacrifices for each other, showing dedication and commitment. Their sacrifices are substantial. Ash was willing to send Eiji away for his own safety despite Eiji being the only light in his life, but Eiji didn’t go, risking his life by choosing to stay. They’ve both put their lives directly in danger for the other. Both characters make considerable sacrifices for each other. Ash’s actions are often influenced by his desire to protect and be with Eiji, while Eiji shows remarkable dedication and commitment, despite the dangerous circumstances. Eiji takes care of Ash when he’s unwell or hurt. At one point, Ash tried to shoot himself dead to protect Eiji but unbeknownst to him, there were no bullets in the gun. Eiji jumped in front of a bullet for Ash once, landing him in the hospital. Ash’s fierce protectiveness over Eiji is a central element of the ship. This dynamic creates powerful, emotional moments throughout Banana Fish, where Ash goes to extreme lengths to ensure Eiji’s safety, showcasing the true depth of his feelings.

Chemistry: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars Their chemistry is compelling, with a blend of tenderness and intensity that defines their relationship. They are magnetic, built on emotional vulnerability, trust, and a shared experience that pulls them together in powerful, often understated ways. Their chemistry is notable, with a mix of emotional depth and connection that drives the narrative. Their interactions are charged with both tenderness and intensity.

How Canon?: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Their relationship is confirmed as canon by the creator, making it a deeply acknowledged romantic connection. It was heavy subtext in the anime, but in the manga Garden of Light, it became explicit. While not explicitly sexual, it is recognized as a deep, romantic soulmate connection.

In the manga, Sing Soo-Ling (creator) states in the short story “Garden of Light” that they truly loved each other and were soulmates.

Final summary:

Touchy-Feely Levels: 3.5/5 ★★★☆☆ 

Emotional Intimacy: 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Obsession/Codependence: 5/5 ★★★★★

Sacrifices: 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Chemistry: 5/5 ★★★★★  

How Canon?: 5/5 ★★★★★ 

Total:  4.75 out of 5 stars

6. Merthur (Merlin & Arthur Pendragon) 

Pros:

Extremely Touchy-Feely

Sacrifices 

Chemistry

Obsession & Codependence

“I think it’s a love story, it absolutely is a love story.”  ~Julian Murphy (creator)

Cons:

It quietly went canon, with no obvious love declaration or successful kiss onscreen.

Chemistry: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars The chemistry between Merlin and Arthur is undeniable and electric, with an unspoken bond that far surpasses all other relationships, including their other romantic ones. Their banter, loyalty, and constant presence in each other’s lives create a compelling and often flirtatious dynamic. Arthur lights up around Merlin in a way he never does with anyone else, including his wife, Gwen. The high school AU vibes are real—they bicker, laugh, have a deep emotional connection, and have an undeniable pull towards each other. The tension between them, combined with their loyalty and the way they light up around each other, creates an undeniable spark that draws viewers in. Their palpable tension makes their relationship feel very much like a secret castle romance, which is what it basically was as confirmed in the commentary. Their unspoken understanding and constant presence in each other’s lives create a chemistry that’s magnetic and endearing. Unspoken yet undeniable. Well, others speak of their bond, just not them most of the time (though in their intimate moments, they do, too!) Like Princess Mithian once commented saying to Merlin, "Arthur values your opinion above almost all others."

And after seeing them together for only a few days, Merlin's mother says:

The great dragon Kilgharrah has always said that they're two sides of the same coin, and that they make each other whole. So it's confirmed that they're soulmates, literally half of each other. Their bond is one of loyalty, humor, and an endless, deep connection. They are like a cutesy/angsty high school AU of secret gay boyfriends. The whole castle is aware of Merlin’s ‘other woman’ status and they treat him as such. 

2. Emotional Intimacy:  ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Merlin and Arthur’s relationship is defined by an unbreakable bond that transcends friendship, with deep emotional intimacy, playful chemistry, and mutual reliance. They constantly bicker, but their loyalty to each other is unwavering, with Merlin secretly sacrificing everything to protect Arthur, while Arthur depends on Merlin for emotional support and guidance, often treating him as more than just a manservant. However, the secret of Merlin’s magic creates a subtle yet significant barrier in their relationship. While Merlin sacrifices everything for Arthur, he can never fully trust him with the truth about his identity. This adds complexity to their bond, highlighting how the political climate of Camelot and Merlin’s fear of rejection prevents their relationship from reaching its fullest potential of emotional honesty. Merlin’s secrecy prevents the relationship from being entirely transparent, meaning Arthur doesn't fully know who Merlin is. While Merlin harbors this secret, Arthur bares his entire soul to Merlin, his best friend, and tells him everything. He trusts Merlin with his life, and Merlin trusts him (aside from the magic part). This limitation keeps them from achieving the ultimate level of emotional closeness, despite their otherwise strong connection. From lingering gazes (SO MUCH EYESEX--there's 23 minutes of eyesex in a 65 episode show), and shared vulnerabilities (Merlin does share his vulnerabilities with Arthur, just not the magic), their connection feels deeply personal. They are each other's #1 best friend. These moments go far beyond any other relationship either has in the show, creating a profound, unspoken closeness that is intimate in both the emotional and physical sense. Arthur tells Merlin everything, unlike with his sweet wife Gwen. He is able to truly be himself around Merlin. For Arthur, due to the way he was raised, everything has an order. With Gwen, he is always super formal/polite. Basically, she is not his friend. He has put her squarely in the "wife" category. Merlin is supposed to be put in "servant" category but Merlin becomes his actual dearest best friend, a category none of his knights touch, since his knights are put in "knights" category. He expects his knights to die for him, he expects Gwen to always be supportive & loving. He expected Merlin to listen to him and respect him, but Merlin is, as Arthur puts it, "Well, you've been terrible. I mean it. Worst servant I've ever had." Even being such a terrible servant, Arthur refuses to fire him, even upset when Merlin goes missing so they find an actual GOOD & perfect servant, George (who hilariously even dresses up as Merlin).

So as Merlin keeps from Arthur the most vital thing about himself, Arthur confides in him more than anyone else, showing trust and vulnerability that he doesn't share even with his wife. He calls Merlin his friend. For context of how special this is, he doesn't even consider his knights his friends.. Even in season 4 finale (14 episodes from the series finale) he told Merlin that Merlin was still his "only friend." The physical comfort and emotional intensity between them, along with creator and cast commentary referring to their relationship as a love story, suggest that their bond is romantic in nature, even if it was never fully confirmed on-screen. Even though for most of the show, Merlin keeps such a vital part of himself from Arthur, since in the end, he did reveal himself (& I'm rating based off of how the relationship left off), these two get a full 5 stars.

3. Obsession & Codependence:  ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Merlin and Arthur are inseparable, spending almost every moment together. Arthur relies on Merlin for everything, from making major decisions to simply getting dressed in the mornings (I truly wonder how he did this before Merlin. One time when Merlin was gone, Arthur had to ask the Court Physician for help with putting on a shirt & he ended up getting stuck in it, then ripped the shirt......... -______-;). As his wife Gwen was helping him with his armor, Arthur said, sounding very frustrated and like a petulant toddler, "I want Merlin back. Where is he?" ;u; Merlin feels the need to follow Arthur everywhere, even while gravely injured. Merlin was still begging not to be taken back home despite barely being able to speak, but thankfully after Lancelot took Merlin and the two made their way back, Merlin was able to heal himself midway. Then he and Lancelot caught up with Arthur and the other knights again!

Arthur relies on Merlin more than any other person, often over his more experienced knights or even his wife. Their bond is so strong it becomes unhealthy. Their trust and devotion to one another are undeniable. Arthur’s dependence is extreme. Arthur literally takes Merlin on his dates with him and Gwen and even had Merlin hide behind curtains for when he proposed to Gwen. -______-; This is NOT NORMAL. That song "Me you and Steve" is literally THEM (and comments all agreed that animatic is basically the show in a nutshell--it even uses actual show scenes)! Poor Gwen. ;u; Arthur couldn't remember the anniversary of his wedding even though Merlin reminded him the day before, and also, regarding his courting of Gwen:

"He sends Merlin to gather flowers for her, to prepare the date for them, etc. It's not genuine, and this is a boring and chemistry-less relationship. I especially laughed when there was a plot of Gwen being basically replaced by an evil twin. Merlin noticed it almost right away while Arthur didn't, even though they spent weeks together, sharing a bed, having conversations, and so on. He didn't realize the love of his life was replaced!" ~K_S_Morgan

The fact that Arthur instantly knows when Merlin is upset but doesn't notice that his wife hates him for weeks.... He noticed and counted how many days since Merlin smiled! This King has priorities I guess…. LMAO! It shows he's not super oblivious, he just pays attention to things he cares about..... Whenever Merlin is more withdrawn, Arthur always notices and tries to cheer him up. He clearly wouldn't notice if it was Gwen.

You know who would have most definitely noticed 100%? Lancelot!!! Lancelot loved Gwen like Arthur could never. *now I'm trying to not cry* Lancelot and Gwen were soulmates in the same way Merlin and Arthur were. Lancelot would've put her first in all things he did. He was loyal to Arthur because of Merlin, so he would've most definitely put her above ALL else if they'd been allowed to be together. But the show forced her character to stay with Arthur, a gay man, simply because that's the way it was in the legends. Otherwise, the showrunners put zero effort into making their love story believable. It was obvious the aim of the show wasn’t Arthur/Gwen, but Merthur. They said it themselves. They showed a bit of Gwen/Arthur because it is an important part of the legend, but otherwise, that was it. No effort otherwise. Such a disservice to their characters.

Once, when Arthur was on a nice romantic picnic date with Gwen, he told her that he always wanted to run far away from Camelot....... and then he said, "Of course, I'd take Merlin with me." WHAT THE ACTUAL FLUCK. He never once implies she would go with him. Who says this to their date? ???? ??????????? Its just common courtesy to say at least your date can go too lool. but he was not having it XD Once she's queen, all the courting is out (because he was doing such a stellar job at that lol). He settles into the boring married couple routine, and season 5 is also when all gay breaks loose. (He and Gwen got married in the last episode of season 4.)

Arthur and Merlin’s obsession with each other is off the charts. Arthur listens to Merlin more than anyone else. Merlin stopped Arthur from marrying Princess Elena after Gwen, who Arthur was in the talking stage with at the time, tried unsuccessfully to stop it. Literally one word from Merlin was all it took for Arthur to stand the princess up at the alter. 😐 Arthur’s reliance on Merlin is intense, and they clearly cannot bear to be apart. This is Sam/Dean Winchester-on-steriods codependence. Their bond is a constant force in the show, making it central to the plot and their lives.

They are utterly devoted to one another, and Arthur trusts Merlin more than anyone else. These two spent BY FAR the most time together of all mentioned ships. They could not live w/o each other, codependent to extremely unhealthy levels. They had to spend practically every moment together good grief. Very angry/upset when apart for even just a day. Especially Arthur. Arthur is always shouting at Merlin to be next to him when he notices Merlin has lagged behind, even when they're in the castle, and Merlin would roll his eyes but have the biggest most dopey grin and run after him. They are always at each other's sides, even on epic quests that require Arthur to go  "alone and unaided." Merlin is like an extension of himself, ofc Merlin would go! LOL. If I could, I'd give them 10 out of 5 stars for obsession tbh.

*SPOILERS FOR THE END* Arthur literally cannot function without Merlin. His obsession with Merlin's presence, combined with Merlin’s unwavering loyalty, creates an intensely close and often codependent dynamic. In many ways, Merlin needs Arthur too, and without Arthur, Merlin just wanders until he's able to be with Arthur again, no matter how many hundreds or thousands of years pass. Merlin will wander around that same lake where he put Arthur to rest. ;~; If that's not codependent, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS! Not to mention, in that lake/Avalon, Arthur is just waiting for Merlin to need him again so that he can come back to life. CODEPENDENT TO A TEE! Merlin is 100% dependent on Arthur to feel whole again, because canonically, they are two halves of the same coin.

4. Sacrifices: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

Both Merlin and Arthur make profound sacrifices for each other that go beyond typical devotion. Merlin sacrifices everything—his entire life’s purpose, dreams, chance at a normal life, his humanity—all for Arthur, consistently putting Arthur’s safety above his own happiness, goals, and desires to end the ban on magic (lifting the ban was supposed to be more important than Arthur, his ultimate goal of the series was to lift the ban in order to unite all of Albion, but Merlin never got the memo). Merlin sacrifices his emotional well-being by living in secrecy even though it causes him personal pain.

Arthur, in return, sacrifices his pride, royal expectations, a sense of propriety, and adherence to social norms by elevating Merlin to a position of trust and power that goes far beyond what is appropriate in the class-strict society they live in. Arthur often treats Merlin as his equal and his life partner despite the massive class divide. The level of trust and emotional vulnerability Arthur shows toward Merlin is profound, especially in trusting him with decisions that even his knights and advisors don’t influence, showing how much he is willing to sacrifice for their bond. Arthur was willing to sacrifice everything his father had warned him about magic and lift the ban, if only Merlin had agreed (naturally he asked Merlin for his opinion on such a serious topic)! But unfortunately, since Merlin thought doing so would cost Arthur his life, Merlin with great sadness, said that all magic was evil. 

Arthur’s vulnerability and complete trust in Merlin challenged everything he was raised to believe, and Merlin consistently chose Arthur over his own needs. This was the ultimate demonstration of mutual sacrifice.

One time Arthur was forced to order Merlin back to Camelot bc Merlin couldn't even walk due to his injuries. Arthur was not happy about having to send him away and seemed pretty distraught, eyes red-rimmed and tearful. Arthur almost abandoned the quest, even though one of his knights reminded him that if they abandoned the quest, hundreds more would perish. If not for Lancelot offering to take Merlin back, Arthur would have abandoned the quest, sacrificing hundreds of his people's lives, all for Merlin! When Arthur finds out the truth about Merlin’s magic, he wasn’t angry about the illegal magic, he was only hurt that Merlin felt he couldn’t trust him. Despite the imbalance in the scale of sacrifices, both characters show an overwhelming willingness to give up significant parts of themselves for the sake of the other (if Arthur had known about the magic sooner, he would’ve been able to do his part in sacrificing more for Merlin). Merlin constantly sacrifices everything for Arthur. Arthur sacrifices his royal status by treating Merlin as a trusted confidant/"husband"/"other woman", so much so that his actual wife becomes more like the mother he never had (he gives her chaste kisses, doesn't let her truly in like he does Merlin. At one point she casually says, "Arthur never tells me anything.”) Merlin, a mere servant, starts ordering the knights around as early as season 2, something that only the ‘other woman’ would ever be able to do! This swapping of roles challenges social norms and his strict upbringing, where his father drills it into his head that royalty cannot consort with those of lower rank. This bond often puts Arthur in vulnerable positions where he places Merlin’s advice above that of his much more experienced knights and advisors, despite the fact that Arthur is always calling Merlin an idiot. If idiot, why listen to all major decisions? Arthur is clearly smitten. 

*SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT IN THIS SECTION*

The final sacrifices they both make: Merlin waits over a thousand years, five hundred for Arthur to rise again for him, since after 1500+ years, Merlin's the last remaining piece of Albion. And Arthur is in Avalon, waiting for the day Merlin will finally need him again. 😭 (In the show, they have ghosts, & Merlin put Arthur’s body in the lake with Freya, whom Merlin was still able to talk to now and then.)

5. Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★★ 5/5 stars

There’s a clear sense of physical comfort between the two that you don’t even see in Arthur’s canonical romantic relationships. The contrast between Arthur's comfort with Merlin versus his awkwardness around his wife Gwen suggests that Merlin and Arthur share a deeper physical comfort level.

Merlin and Arthur's "touchy-feely" levels are high, with frequent touches--from regularly bathing Arthur to falling asleep next to him, moments of deep physical proximity, like humping each other while making highly suggestive noises then falling asleep curled up together in that net, constant touching through roughhousing, close physical proximity, and they even held hands a total of five times (in 1 scene, it was 4 times in one setting as they were fleeing). Even though they only hug once (Merlin: "Hugging is… for amateurs?" Lmao. Versus what else they do, yes, yes, *Arthur cracks his knuckles* Arthur: "Hugging very much is for amateurs!"), with constant physical contact reinforcing their emotional connection, their touchy-feely levels are some of the highest (all they need to do now is copulate tbh 🥴 which they will guarantee do once Arthur is out of Avalon and back with Merlin!)

Here they humped each other to sleep (the close-up shots were super sexual too, but I wanted to post this panned-out view so yall can see what they were really doing):

^Merlin needed to get some keys so he decided the best way was to pull Arthur's pants down. LOL. The fandom collectively agrees he didn't really need to lick his lips, pull Arthur's pants down, and wrestle him in front of the council to get them........

Merlin also bathes Arthur regularly. We have zero canon proof other than assumptions that his wife's ever even seen him naked... Cue the scene where he walks out naked expecting Merlin but sees Gwen, his actual fiance, and the first thing he says is (notice he's covering himself with a pillow presumably because she's never seen him unclothed):

And then afterward, he basically runs away. He isn't a teenager but a grown ass man. Gwen is supposedly his "one true love." Make it make sense. He used to always sleep shirtless but once he married her, he only slept with his shirt on…… How.. strange. It’s really no wonder Gwen never got pregnant in all the four years they were together. There's a random rumor that she was infertile, but I've watched the show multiple times and never is this supposed "infertility" mentioned (if it was, I'd know). I think they simply were not sleeping together due to the king being a flaming homosexual for his manservant. (literally who is surprised?) Merlin & Arthur only hug once throughout the series, but the other things they do more than makeup for their lack of hugs. Oh, & Arthur is absolutely fixated on Merlin's butt and Merlin is fixated on Arthur's crotch.... (I have pages of tags just of all the times these two were fixated on one another's butts & crotches..) These two have serious issues and need to just fuck it out already.

and it's like, "Merlin, my eyes are up here" (but why such a bulge???)

^Pantless Arthur's like, 'Stop checking out my cock, now lemme see dat ass. ;)' Sometimes I can't believe this is a real show.

6. How Canon?: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars

*SPOILERS IN THIS SECTION*

The romantic subtext is undeniable and supported by cast and creator commentary confirming the love story. In the very last episode, Arthur mouthed 'I love you' along with the two almost-kisses (first time they were staring at each other's lips & the show's default romantic theme song was playing in the background--music choices are always intentional; second time Arthur was dying & he tried tugging Merlin's face in, but he died mid-kiss).

^they were staring at each other's lips and the show's default romance theme song was playing.. This was also the final episode, & afterward, the showrunners confirmed they were a love story.

Julian Murphy, one of the creators, openly refers to the relationship as a “love story between two men,” to which Katie McGrath (Morgana) responded, “You maybe just confirmed what a lot of people [shippers] thought.”

Alexander Vlahos (Mordred) referred to their love as a "brilliant love story" and an official ad for the DVD boxed set said, "There's much to recommend about this mythical hokum, but it's the droll, sweet love story between Arthur and Merlin that compels in the BBC's excellent fantasy series." Droll means 'funny' so it was essentially calling the show a romcom between Merlin & Arthur. 😂 Which perfectly describes it, actually!

Summary:

Chemistry: ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) Emotional Intimacy:  ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) Obsession & Codependence:  ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) Sacrifices: ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★★ (5/5 stars) How Canon?: ★★★★★ (5/5 stars)

Total: 5 out of 5 stars

7. Scorbus (Scorpius Malfoy & Albus Potter)

Based on the new script developments:

Pros:

Deep Emotional Bond

Mutual Dependence

Intimate Moments

Affectionate Banter and Chemistry

Queer-Coded Subtext

“One of the most notable changes is the shift in the relationship between Scorpius and Albus from a close friendship to a romantic one, making 'Scorbus' canon. John Tiffany, the director of the play, has been involved in these updates…”

Cons:

Not Fully Canonized:

While the emotional bond between Scorpius and Albus is incredibly strong, it is never explicitly confirmed as romantic in the play itself. This can be frustrating for fans who wish for a more overt romantic resolution or confession, especially given the chemistry between them.

Albus’s Emotional Immaturity:

Albus is a more emotionally volatile character compared to Scorpius. He can sometimes be reckless, brooding, and push away those closest to him, including Scorpius. This emotional immaturity occasionally creates tension between them and could be seen as a barrier to a healthy romantic relationship.

Viewings inconsistent:

The play can change depending on the night or how the actors feel a certain day. Because of this, you never know what could happen on any given day, which means that the Scorbus might be amazing (like an almost-kiss) or it may be more toned down and not include that.

Touchy-Feely Levels: ★★★★☆ 4 of 5 stars

The way they prioritize each other gives strong undertones of romantic affection. They share moments of physical closeness, such as hugging, forehead touches, very occasional hand-holding, and other comforting touches, that emphasize their romantic friendship and emotional bond.  In some viewings, Albus is seen to almost kiss Scorpius but Scorpius is always oblivious to this and moves away!

2. Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars

They are extremely close and are each other’s #1. They comfort each other during difficult times and tell each other everything. They share everything, providing each other with comfort and support. Their deep emotional bond is a key component of their relationship. Their bond is characterized by deep emotional intimacy and affection, which are key elements of a romantic friendship. They provide each other with significant emotional support throughout the play.  Scorpius and Albus continue to share a very deep emotional connection. They are each other's confidants, supporting one another through personal struggles—Albus' difficult relationship with Harry and Scorpius' grief over his mother and the rumors surrounding his lineage. Albus' refusal to abandon Scorpius in times of crisis continue to be strong indicators of their connection.

3. Obsession/Codependence: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars Their bond is intense and inseparable with significant emotional dependency. They exhibit classic signs of codependency, feeling deeply affected by any separation. They are consistently the most important person in one another’s lives. Their bond is intense, much like classic codependent ships. They both cry when they’re no longer allowed to be close, despite being 14 years old (too old for this kind of behavior, honestly. I mean, can you see Ron and Harry behaving like this during their 4th year..? Because quite frankly, I can’t.) They share an emotional bond, which is an essential part of their journey. They rely on each other for emotional support, making their friendship the most important relationship in the play. Their relationship is a bit codependent, especially since Albus tends to rely heavily on Scorpius for emotional support. Their closeness is endearing, heavily relying on each other for validation and comfort.

Actual line from play:

4. Sacrifices: ★★★★☆ 4 of 5 stars They are willing to make significant sacrifices for each other’s well-being, including risking their safety and affecting each other's lives through time-traveling adventures. Scorpius sacrifices a lot more for Albus though. He allows Albus to rant about his dad, all the while, he’d just lost his mother. Scorpius follows Albus blindly into immense danger because he loves him so much. Albus sacrifices a good relationship with his father to keep seeing Scorpius. Ultimately, they’re both willing to risk everything for each other, but because Scorpius sacrifices quite a bit more, they get 4 stars.

5. Chemistry: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars Their chemistry is undeniable with a lot of emotional depth and moments of longing and vulnerability. Sparks fly at every sweet interaction between the two completely fluffy boys. The tension is less physical and more about their shared experiences and emotional vulnerability with each other. Their banter, affection, and overall chemistry carry through. Their interactions are filled with humor and warmth, which gives their relationship a unique charm compared to others in the series.

6. How Canon?: ★★★★★ 5 of 5 stars

Their feelings are confirmed by the playwrights and the script changes suggest romantic implications, including how Albus even comes out to his dad in the end confirming his love for Scorpius. The playwrights have said that the only reason they're not in a relationship is due to their ages (the characters are in 4th year whilst most romance in Harry Potter happens in 6th year). The playwright has stated that the queerness is very real. This is a queer high school love story in its early stages. ❤️ It's heavily implied that they oh-so-obviously got married (because in HP, marrying one's high school sweetheart is the norm) & therefore (& I'm sure they will just be thrilled!) Harry and Draco will be related through marriage at last (though not exactly in the way I want). 🫨

Overall Summary: 

Physical Intimacy: ★★★★☆ (4/5)

Emotional Intimacy: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Obsession/Codependence: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Sacrifices: ★★★★☆ (4/5)

Chemistry: ★★★★★ (5/5)

How Canon?: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Total: 4.66 / 5 stars

FINAL WINNERS (decided ties based on how on-screen the canon material was + how much trauma was endured):

WINNER: 

🥇 Merthur Takes the Crown! 👑✨🎉

(Arthur Pendragon x Merlin - Merlin)

🏆🎉 All Hail the Kings of Gaydom! 🎉🏆

^Just fuckin kiss already dear gods.

In an epic showdown of ships, where love transcends timelines, magic, and destiny itself, Merthur has claimed the crown as the Gayest Ship in our tournament! 🌈💖

Ok, so this is my OTP, but I really was being partial!!

This ship truly has the full package:

Devotion spanning thousands of years. (The only ship of the list this canonically applies to.)

Humor (the show was labeled a "romcom between Merlin & Arthur" by that aforementioned ad).

Playfulness (lots of boyish roughhousing because Arthur's a jock who likes to mess with his dorky nerdy boyfriend who was 16 in the pilot episode--these two were young!)

Never-ending loyalty

Life/death sacrifices

MOST OBSESSIVE SHIP!!!! (like, way more than Wincest, which is saying something. 👀)

MOST SEXUAL SCENES. 💦 This ship is most definitely the ship with the most sexual/touchy-feely scenes (which is why I have so many gifs of them doing sexual stuff.... I can't find those gifs for the other ships except Hannigram maybe?), which always ups their chemistry. ;)

Tears. So many tears. From us, from them. This is such a tearful and powerfully poignant ship of epic proportions.

Makes you feel good because they are SO FUN together! Their dynamic is extremely entertaining to watch.

From birth—Arthur and Merlin were destined to be soulmates. Whether it's Merlin saving Arthur's life (for the hundredth time!) or Arthur secretly cherishing every snarky comment and stolen glance, their bond is the definition of legendary. Their love, though unspoken in so many ways, has always been undeniable to us and the rest of the castle (knights and all--EVERYONE noticed, even visiting royals). We all saw through every swordfight and sassy banter to the truest love story of the series. ✨

This win celebrates their journey from servant and prince to something so much deeper. Through battles, quests, betrayals, and everything Camelot threw at them, they always prioritized each other, proving that magic isn’t the only powerful force—it’s love. 💫

Congratulations to Merthur for showing us that destiny was never just about a kingdom—it was about the undeniable connection between two hearts. Let the celebrations in Camelot begin!

Long live the once and future kings of gay ships! 👑🌈

Runner Up: 

🥈💀 Hannigram: Dark, Delicious, and Dangerously Close to Victory!

(Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham – Hannibal)

🔪✨ They love each other... to death. ✨🔪

They say love is a dangerous game, and no one plays it quite like Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham. In our tournament of ships, the twisted, tantalizing bond of Hannigram slashed its way to a close second, proving once again that darkness and desire make one hell of a pairing! 🌹🔪

From mind games to dinner dates (where the menu is… questionable 🍽️👀), the chemistry between these two transcends morality, sanity, and the human heart. It's a dance of obsession, control, and unrelenting affection—one that left us all on the edge of our seats, breathless and horrified in equal measure.

While their love may be unconventional, what could be more intoxicating than two minds so perfectly, terrifyingly in sync? It’s a relationship where murder, manipulation, and unspoken devotion go hand in hand—and we wouldn’t have it any other way. 🖤

Hats off to Hannigram for being the ultimate runner-up, and for reminding us that love can be as beautiful as it is monstrous. This ship may not have taken the crown, but it has our hearts in its deadly grasp forever. 💀💕

Cheers to the killer chemistry of Hannigram! 🥂

Bronze:

🥉 Asheiji: A Tender and Timeless Love

(Ash Lynx x Eiji Okumura – Banana Fish) 🍌✨ Asheiji takes the spotlight! ✨🍌

Bronze goes to Ash Lynx and Eiji Okumura, who remind us that love can be both gentle and profound. Asheiji shares a bond that transcends words—it's a love that knows absolutely no limits. From their subtle touches to the emotional vulnerability they share, Ash and Eiji's relationship radiates a pure, heartfelt beauty. Their connection is super wholesome, filled with longing, mutual trust, and an unspoken love that breaks barriers and leaves a lasting impact. Their love is eternal, and the legacy of their ship lives on in our hearts. 🌸💫🌈 

the rest of the gays:

4th place: Renga (my newest ship!)

5th place: Scorbus (fluffiest!)

6th place: Destiel (1st ever slash ship!)

7th place: Drarry (2nd fave OTP in last place 😭 Aw well, their soulmate love is real/true in their world at least)

Final Ranking:

Renga (4.75 stars) – Deeply emotional and supportive where mutual admiration and personal growth define their close, semi-canon bond.

Book!Drarry (4.08 stars) – The ultimate “could-have-been” with palpable tension.

Hannigram (4.91 stars) – The ultimate psychological obsession.

Destiel (4.41 stars) – Finally canon but with some loose ends.

Asheiji (4.75 stars) – Profound, romantic connection marked by intense devotion and soul-deep love.

👑 Merthur (5 stars) – The devotion and unspoken romance are too deep to ignore. 🥳🎉

Scorbus (4.66 stars) – Emotionally intense, codependent relationship with strong romantic undertones.

Phew! That took almost a whole week. O-O Thanks for reading! =D I’d like to always update this list, so if you have any points to add, DM me & I'll see about incorporating it in! I recently updated this to where I rank based off of where the relationship left off in canon!

[theintrovertowl]

(jumps in here) HIIIIIII!!! i am so so interested in ur wamuu au. ur art fucking eats and I love how u draw him <3333 pls pls pls tell me everything i am so interested

HELOOOO, fellow Wamuu fan! <3 I hope you're ready for the whole novel, because it's a lot of lore :'D (warning for long post)

I'll first start with the wifey and her family! I went with the idea that there would be survivors after Kars' massacre. There was one among them who actually felt compassion for humans and believed they were equals instead of inferior. This fella is called Zdub and he had beef with Kars 24/7 so they couldn't stand each other. Zdub married Blaxia, this redhead lady who was one of the elite warriors from the tribe. Unfortunately, Blaxia died during the massacre, so Zdub ran away as far as possible from Kars and his bloodthirst. The couple has two children: Phoenix (elder brother) and Iris (little sister, who will soon become Wamuu's wife ♥)

Iris is the total opposite from her peers; she is kind, gentle and very maternal . Zdub ran away with both his children and settled in Europe, Ancient Dacia to be exact (now Romania - and that can be noticed in Iris' attire).

Her Mode is the Water Mode, which is mostly manifested in her luscious hair locks, in the same manner as the waves of the sea. At about 7000 years of age, she finally leaves Dacia for a journey to the Roman Empire. There, she meets the Pillarmen and saves one of the last survivors from the Hamon tribe (That kid from the flashbacks who got killed by Kars in canon </3). Meanwhile, she dates Wamuu more often, resulting in a beautiful and sincere relationship.

After the first night together, Iris is shunned by Kars upon discovering the relationship, but she remains pregnant with the first child, Mysphite. As soon as the peace is established in the 20th century, the lovebirds finally move in together in St Moritz with their little daughter. (Yes, Caesar doesn't die and the chase for the Red Aja is stopped; this is how Wamuu first met his little girl...after 4 years :'D he even took off those spikes to be able to hug her)

And now, KIDS TIME!!! (from the eldest to the youngest)

Mysphite - aka "Ladybug" 🐞

Born in 1934, 4 years before Wamuu awakened

Literal gentle giant (200 cm/6ft 6 tall; also very jacked, just like dad - blame Pillar puberty)

Snow Mode! ❄️

Kars hates her the most because she is not as ruthless by his standards (but he can kick rocks :3)

Big Sister™ and girly as hell! 🎀

Lesbian!!! 🏳️‍🌈 (had one human wife and a Pillar gf)

Favourite animal is the cow 🐮

Future career: Preschool teacher 👩🏼‍🏫

Volta and Calliope (TWINS!!! 👦👧)

Volta is the twin boy, Calliope is the twin girl; the latter is named after one of the muses from Greek mythology (I hc Wamuu is a huge nerd about Greek history <3)

Volta is Goth and works in IT; also he is very intelligent and proficient in technology. He invented a bracelet that can help his kind stay in the sun without the help of the Red Stone of Aja. Also, he has a driver's license. He's got the Lightning Mode through his hair and fingertips. 🖥️🌩️

Calliope/Callie is into Pastel colours and fashion design, just like her mama <3 She is literally a Pillar Barbie; however, she doesn't have a Mode, which often makes her insecure in the family. She inherits Wamuu's warrior spirit though 👗🎀

Despite their opposite aesthetics, the twins get along very well and support each other anytime; even in dumb stuff XD (mostly Callie's idea)

The pink eyes are inherited from grandma Blaxia 💕

Both are crazy about Asian food because it was Iris' main craving while pregnant with them both 🥺

DEMETRA (The Prodigy 🤓)

Youngest sister

Space-themed gal 🪐🌟🌌🔭

She was the fussiest of all as a baby; poor Iris couldn't catch a break, and neither Wamuu. However, Mysphite was the only one who could soothe her somehow XD

A bit of a meanie, especially to Calliope; has a lot of respect for Mysphite and Volta though

Very intelligent and ambitious, literally has a PhD in Astrophysics in her adulthood

Works at NASA

Not very close to her father :( she also sucks at expressing her emotions, she often bottles it up

Aapo (The cinnamon roll 🍰)

(This is all I got, I have to draw him more often 😭)

Youngest brother and child of the Wind Family

Gentle Giant number 2

Also Wamuu v.2.0.

has a great admiration for his elder brother, Volta (even though big bro is a bit distant, but he'll soon warm up)

Professional bodybuilder 🏋️‍♂️💪 He enjoys working out to the bits

Has a human girlfriend, Samantha

Hope you like them! Feel free to ask more about them if you want, thank you for reading <3

Also bonus pics:

[blue-mint-winter]

Reading Fire and Blood: A Son for a Son

So this chapter contains contradictions that show Gyldayn's biased lies in the previous chapter. First, he claimed that Rhaenyra was loved in the past, when she was young, but now she was aged, married and not as pretty, so not many young men would follow her, only some old lords because of their oaths. Then in this chapter Daemon goes to Harrenhal and calls Riverlands to arms and common people literally flock to her cause, only Brackens and Vances of Atranta declare for Aegon, rest of the lords declares for Rhaenyra and Tullys are torn, because old lord Grover is for Aegon, but his grandson Elmo is for Rhaenyra (which is logical, because majority of his bannermen support her).

Second contradiction is Beesbury's death. In the previous chapter, Gyldayn presented 3 equally possible versions of events: Orwyle said Beesbury was imprisoned and died in his cell of chills, but both Eustace and Mushroom said that he was killed by Cole at the Green Council, though they present different ways of murder. Then in this chapter Gyldayn writes: "The murder of Lord Beesbury at the green council was not yet widely known; most believed his lordship to be languishing in some dungeon." So he confirms that Beesbury was killed at the Green Council and Orwyle was just full of bs. As I said, clearly Alicent told Septon Eustace, her confessor, about the crime. Orwyle just tried to make himself sound better after the war, because he couldn't say that he still supported the Greens after they murdered Beesbury in cold blood.

Sara Snow's existence is completely suspect. Mushroom is the only source and he wasn't there. Also, if Jace married her under the heart tree, then the Pact of Ice and Fire doesn't make a lick of sense, as he agrees in it to send his firstborn daughter to Winterfell to marry Cregan's son. If Jace is married to Sara, he can't marry Baela and have trueborn children with her, that's bigamy and nothing about Jace the Negotiator suggests that he's stupid enough to try to emulate Maegor. Jace's child with Sara would be a cousin to Cregan's son and wouldn't need to be sent to Winterfell. Also, Cregan can't logically expect Jace to marry Sara, who is a bastard, and make her his future queen. It would be a PR disaster in addition to Jace's own bastardy rumours. Therefore, unless there's further evidence of Sara from other sources, then either she was made up by Mushroom, or she didn't marry Jace.

Borros Baratheon seems like Rogar, except he's so much stupider. Rogar didn't underestimate Rhaena's political threat, he made decisive moves to counter her influence and turn her supporters to Jaehaerys' side. On the other hand, Borros talks like he thinks Rhaenyra is like his daughters and just throwing a tantrum over something insignificant. They are literally stealing her crown, it's a big deal! He doesn't treat her seriously at all, despite her being heir for years.

Then we have 19-years-old Aemond having beef with 13-years-old Lucerys in front of multiple eyewitnesses, and Lucerys acting like the mature one and not reacting to the taunts. Once again, Aemond is the bully. I love how Maris Baratheon dissed him. He needs to be dragged more.

I guess the maester didn't have to be a part of the maester conspiracy, maybe he didn't want Borros to negotiate with Blacks because he didn't want to piss off Aemond who was right there and had Vhagar with him. Aemond was in Storm's End for days, they had hunts and tourneys as he negotiated the marriage pact, so they all must have gotten to know his temper by then.

Notice how Aemond said "I will have your eye or your life"? He was literally threatening kinslaying right there in front of all these people and that's when Borros grew uneasy and told him "Not here". He couldn't allow violation of guest right.

Lucerys was killed in a dragon fight and the various rumours of how exactly (or the ridiculous amnesia story) are pointless to debate. Just pick your poison. The story about Aemond desecrating Lucerys' dead body is interesting if it leads somewhere with Aemond's characterization. I will watch out if he later develops a hobby of collecting body parts or eyeballs as trophies.

Corlys and Rhaenys stopping Joffrey from flying off to take vengeance felt really wholesome. They both care for Laenor's kids.

My favourite part of Blood and Cheese incident is the location. Helaena lives in queen's apartments in Maegor's Holdfast. There are no tunnels and secret passages there. That's why they have to catch her and the children when she visits Alicent in the Tower of the Hand, as there are secret passages in there. Simple as that.

Daemon has a secret ally on the Green Council. By the process of elimination, it couldn't be Otto, Alicent, Cole, Orwyle, Tyland or Wylde (he was too longwinded about the Great Council), so it has to be Larys Strong. The same Larys who made the Greens swear a blood oath of brotherhood to each other (to throw them off, so they won't suspect him?). Larys who couldn't make Blood confess anything about his accomplices Cheese and Misery or even tell his real name after 13 days of torture. In addition, Harrenhal surrendered very easily to Daemon. All of this looks like there is a connection between Larys and Daemon. Why would Larys work for or with Daemon? Could it be that it was really Daemon who burned Harwin and Lyonel, so Larys owed him a big one for gaining the lordship of Harrenhal? Then, if it was like I theorized, the order of events would be: Strongs have Laenor murdered by the hands of Qarl's debt collectors, so Harwin can marry Rhaenyra, but after the funeral Aemond's eye incident causes the rumours of bastardy to surface and Viserys sends the Strongs back to Harrenhal. Daemon burning the Strongs would get him 3 things: he gets rid of his main competition for Rhaenyra's hand, Corlys is happy that he avenged Laenor for him and doesn't oppose the new marriage so soon after Laena and Laenor died, Larys becomes the lord of Harrenhal and owes him. Who knows, maybe Larys even informed Daemon of the Strongs' plot and that's how this partnership started. Most importantly, this order of events would explain why Corlys didn't suspect Daemon of killing Laenor.

I also heard a theory that Larys was glamouring himself like Varys and he was really Cheese the Ratcatcher. That would have been fascinating, so messed up.

All in all, lots of good mysteries in this chapter and I love the Storm's End part because it's the most reliable account thanks to many eyewitnesses.

[purplesurveys]

1683

Do you have the right time set on your microwave?: Our microwave doesn’t include the time on it.

Do you have any old newspaper articles? Why?: No, my family has never been the type to buy newspapers. This reminds me that there used to be a nice old man who used to stand by the entrance of our village, ready to sell newspapers to the cars who drive out every morning. He’s stopped appearing for what’s probably been 2, 3 years now :( I hope he’s still out there and keeping healthy.

Do you have a flat screen tv or just a regular box?: We mostly have flat screens now but the one in our dining room is a much older, box-type TV just because if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. We only ever turn it on when my dad is home because he likes having the evening news on when we have dinner.

Do you have a radar detector for your car?: A...what? I don’t even know what that is haha. I have a dashcam and that’s it.

Have you ever been arrested? For what?: Nope.

Do you know how to change the oil in your car?: Nope. I let my dad do all the maintenance work on my car as he prefers to do it anyway.

Have you taken your shower yet?: I did this morning since I had to drive to work.

Do you like Tootsie Rolls?: I don’t think I’ve ever had one, actually.

Do you have a printer? What kind?: No. We used to have one, but when it started malfunctioning we didn’t feel the need to get a new one since we were reaching that point where no one in the family needed to print stuff constantly anymore.

Are you seeing anybody currently?: Nope.

Do you or have you ever smoked cigarettes?: I have, but I never look for them. I’ll probably be doing so in Thailand, though, since apparently vapes are illegal.

Do you like it when it snows?: I have never experienced snow.

Are your ears pierced?: Yes. Weirdly enough they never closed even though I haven’t worn a pair in 15 years.

Where do you do most of your shopping?: I find shopping so tiring LOL so I do it all online. Shopee or Zalora are my usuals.

Who do you live with?: My family.

What is your most expensive bill?: I’m not required to pay bills but I do hand over a sum to my parents every payday, which is usually my biggest monthly ‘expense,’ if anything.

Do you have a big yard?: I mean it’s not acres-level of big but it is very comfortable for a family of 5.

Do you live in the country or the city?: City.

Do you sleep alone or with someone every night?: Alone.

Did you have a treehouse as a child?: I didn’t. Children’s shows made me want one, but I quickly realized it wasn’t possible because we didn’t even have a tree big and sturdy enough for one.

At what age did you obtain your driver license?: 18.

Do you look in the newspaper for coupons?: Nope. I haven’t opened a newspaper since college and I don’t think ours have coupons either?

Did you get a big tax refund from last year?: No. It was like...literally ₱29, which is apparently more or less 50 cents.

Do you like Slim Jim’s?: That’s the beef jerky, right? The things I learn from wrestling and their brand sponsorships, lmao...anyway, no. Idek what beef jerky is.

Is there someone you would love to punch right now?: Not really.

Did you grow up fast?: Yes, because my childhood home wasn’t the ideal environment for a kid to live in. My mom also never really knew how to...deal with kids, and communicate in a way a child could understand, so I remember being 5 and hyperventilating about the thought of my mom disowning me or spanking me or not talking to me for a week because of little accidents at home. By 9 or 10 I was pretty jaded, and it made me become a nightmare of a child for a while.

What are you favorite kind of chips?: Baked chips in cheese flavor :) Oh and salted egg chips!!

Have you taken any medicine recently? For what?: Nah.

What have you eaten today?: We had leftover lechon manok that my dad kind of reimagined and remade to be some sort of kimchi roasted chicken. It was very delicious.

Did you or are you going to wash your hair today?: I did this morning when I took a shower.

Does the water in your shower take a long time to get warm?: Not at all! It gets all warm and toasty in around 10-15 seconds.

Where did you go today?: I was at the office for most of today.

Are you sleepy right now?: Not particularly but I know I should be going to bed so I can *start* to feel sleepy. It’s past midnight and I’ve still got work tomorrow.

What color is your mousepad?: I don’t use a mouse.

Should you be doing something else at the moment?: Yes - preparing for bed.

Do you like your neighbors?: I don’t know them at all, so I have nothing to say, really. None of them irritate me though.

Do you have bedroom shoes?: Continued from the other night. Technically I have a couple of fluffy slippers I can use around the house but I keep forgetting to use them. When you’ve walked barefoot indoors your entire life it’s easy to forget about the existence of indoor slippers hahaha.

Do you get your eyebrows waxed?: No, I generally don’t care for maintaining my eyebrows. You do you, but I just feel like it’s such a minor, forgettable thing to get invested on.

Has anyone given you flowers recently?: Nope.

Do you work Monday thru Friday?: Yup.

Is there anything you are looking forward to tomorrow?: I’m finally going back to the salon and having my hair dyed to purple just in time for my trip next week.

How many miles does your car have on it?: Ooh I haven’t really paid much attention to it recently actually. I wanna say anywhere around 40-45k? I remember it being 30k when I was in college and just before the pandemic so that’s probably a good guesstimate.

Is your alarm clock set to radio or beep?: I don’t set an alarm. It stresses me out and I’m able to wake up early on my own anyway.

Do you like to go fishing?: I’ve never gone fishing; don’t see the appeal.

Has anyone you know been arrested recently?: Well, no.

Do you have more than 1 email address?: Yeah I have a handful.

Do you think you will have the same job 2 years from now?: I’ve reached a point where it’s pretty hard to tell, honestly. Two years is a big stretch of time and what else in the company can I achieve within that period, anyway? I’d hate to be in the immediate next position, and the position after that since both already start dealing with business development, and I never want to part from a writing-based job. Suffice it to say I need to have a rethink about what I want to do next.

Do you have central heating and air?: No, that’s not a thing here and you’ll 100% only find that in the neighborhoods of the super rich old money families.

Do you speed while driving?: I probably do but I don’t think speeding is taken all that seriously around here since I’ve never seen anyone get pulled over and fined for doing so.

Is there someplace you would rather be right now?: Ugh I would love to be in Bangkok right now. Just around 5 days to go!

Did you build the computer you are using?: No and I’d never be able to do that.

Do you have good computer speakers?: It’s pretty standard but I’ve used newer Macs (like my current work laptop) with much better speakers. I’m just lucky mine haven’t even blown out yet, because I know friends with newer Mac models but their speakers have completely fucked up on them.

Are you waiting on anything at the moment?: Yeah I filed a reimbursement request at work earlier this week and I really need that money to come in before Bangkok lol.

Where is your favorite person?: I don’t have one.

Do you keep track of your debit purchases?: As much as possible I never ever use my card directly to pay because I don’t want to end up a crazy spender.

Do you ever shop at Harris Teeter? I’ve never even heard of that before.

Do you like to burn incense?: No and I don’t like how incense smells so you’ll probably never catch me doing so.

Are there any plants in your house?: Sure, there are a few.

How long does it take you to get to work?: 20-30 minutes if no traffic; around 45 minutes to an hour if there is.

[loveoaths]

damn i’m sorry for being emo on main but like. hear me out:

haku has a really hard time accepting konoha's pro-kekkei genkai culture.

it's the textbook-definition of self-loathing, but listen. haku goes their entire life believing people with kekkei genkai are disgusting, dangerous, hated, reviled, themself included. the self-hatred is so deep & intrinsic at this point that when they bleed on naruto during their battle, haku apologizes for getting their “dirty” blood on him. do you know how fucking insane that is for a child to be genuinely apologetic for getting blood on an opponent  while they’re fighting to death ???   like. take a moment to comprehend the insanity of that. 

haku believes they are filth for how they were born. they look at sasuke at one point & tell naruto, “that boy also has a kekkei genkai. he must be hated and have a difficult and painful life.”

now imagine the first time haku steps foot in konoha.

ALMOST ALL THE TOP CLANS ARE BLOODLINE USERS. the hyūga are considered “konoha’s best.” girls flock around sasuke because he’s cool, he’s an uchiha, he has the sharingan. how many members of the main cast are bearers of secret techniques & bloodlines & praised for it ? who see their lineage is nothing but a blessing ?

do you have any idea how fucking badly that would mess haku up?

here is this new world where bloodline users are valued & sought after because the state finds them useful, yes, but they are also PRIZED by the community. they have clout & status. they are IMPORTANT. meanwhile, haku carries the same social status of a fucking dog back home. haku doesn’t know how to process this information. konoha is already a strange & backwards place; but this? this is too much. it’s overwhelming.

i don’t know exactly how haku would react to meeting individual kekkei genkai users, but honestly ? it probably isn’t great. 

they’ve always believed shared persecution linked all people like them, they needed to believe this was how the world worked & they were not alone in this, but then they are thrust into a world where, no, some people are valued over others precisely because of their bloodline ? & yet even in konoha the yuki name is feared ?*  unbelievably painful. absolutely heartbreaking. morally brutalizing. spiritually degrading after a lifetime of pain, this might be the one thing that tips haku,  patient, optimistic, loving haku, over the god damn edge.

* i say the yuki are still feared because when haku is reanimated during the fourth shinobi war, i believe it is either a konoha or suna shinobi who calls haku a “child of that cursed demon bloodline” ( wording is translation dependent ). so i headcanon the yuki’s infamy has spread from yukigakure & water country over the years.

[queenofthefullmoon]

An exhaustive list of Dark Souls 3 bosses I would or would not date

Iudex/Champion Gundyr

We’re starting off this list with a strong yes. Our boy Gundyr has had a hard, difficult life, and he deserves some good company. He’s tall, strong, and I trust him to protect us as we set a lovely camp site outside of the fire link shrine.

Vordt of the Boreal Valley

Vordt is big and he is feral which are truly the only two qualities I look for in a man. Together we’d be unstoppable. I mean, think about how easy it would be to go around with him: just climb on his back and let the rodeo begin, baby. This argument alone should be enough to convince you that Vordt is a suitable boyfriend, but here’s another one: if you get too hot in the summer, worry fucking not for your gigantic man can hold his equally gigantic hammer over you and cover you with snow like an italian man covering his pasta with parmesan.

Cursed Rotted Greatwood

Now while I’m certain it would be a perfect partner for some people, the Cursed Rotted Greatwood isn’t for me. For one, I am not fan of curses, or rot, or weird sticky balls, or strange orange acid, or pale white and slightly viscous hands bursting through a living tree. Secondly, I feel like the crowd of Hollows who group up around the tree would be a big impediment to our intimacy, and I’m not ready to be the mother of 20 Hollows.

Crystal Sage

No offense but you’d be an idiot for not wanting to date the Crystal Sage. All wrapped up in one package, you get a super competent sorcerer bf, who wears the coolest hat in the galaxy and an equally cool cape, and who overall looks like the upgraded version of a plague doctor. In addition to that he also has a pretty rapier so you can both engage in some sparring (which we all know is the most romantic couple activity).

Deacons of the Deep

Probably one of the worst options on the list, they’re all crusty, rotting men moaning around a biggass coffin. There are many technical questions. If I dated a deacon, would I have to date all of them? Can we go out on dates or are they obligated to stay next to the coffin at all times? Can I even date them at all?? Not that I would, because I have standards. The only pro to entering this relationship(s?) would be that I’d probably get one of their robes for free, but the cons are so numerous that I’d rather buy it myself.

Abyss Watchers

Let’s be real and honest even if it hurts. Would I date an Abyss Watcher? Yes. Maybe I’d even date two. However, would an Abyss Watcher date me? No, because they’re all in love with Artorias, and I can’t blame them for that.

Old Demon King

At first I considered dating the Old Demon King like a Russian Instagram model dates an old, rich American man: with a great deal of fake love but above all great patience in order to be the only person on the will. But then I thought about it more, and what does the Old Demon King have to offer, really? A big firework show that will leave him exhausted like the old creature he is, and maybe some pyromancies. Truly, it is not worth it, especially since I’d have to take residence where he lives, in a big old room filled with the corpses of his kin.

High Lord Wolnir

I’ve got nothing against Wolnir personally, but I have no interest in skeletons, nor in his army of skeleton children. As stated above I’m not ready to be a mother. I feel like if we got in an argument and he sighed, he would poison me with his awful breath and I would die a horrible death. Also, living on the brink of the Abyss doesn’t appeal to me that much. However I would like Wolnir to be a good friend I can talk jewelry with because let’s be honest, the man (skeleton?) is blinged the fuck out even in death and I respect that.

Yhorm the Giant

Yes, I would date Yhorm. He was nothing but a sweet, misunderstood giant who always tried to get people to trust him and he convinced me. I would put my life in his big hands. Think of the possibilities. Just like with Vordt he could carry you everywhere but in a less reckless way if you prefer proper manners. You’d never have to worry about not seeing anything at a concert. Also, may I add that waiting for you to show up while sitting on his biggass throne is an absolute power move? Yhorm is a Lord of Cinder, but above all, a Lord of this heart.

Pontiff Sulyvahn

Would I date him because of his appealing aesthetic? Yes. Would I date him for anything else? No. Sulyvahn is absolutely terrifying, completely unhinged in the most frightening way, which is that he doesn’t look bat shit crazy. I could be thinking that everything is going well in our relationship then suddenly he’d lock me in a dungeon then would feed me to his weird friend because I put a fork in the knife drawer. He could pretend to propose and give me a weird fucked up ring with his eye in it and the next thing I know I’d be running in a field on all fours. I don’t trust like that.

Aldritch, Devourer of Gods

I’m so sad about Aldritch because literally everything about him is completely unappealing, unacceptable, unnatural, unholy, abhorrent, but he has the delicate and beautiful face of Gwyndolin. While our lovely Gwyndolin looks gorgeous as ever it doesn’t make up for the fact that Aldritch devoured people and probably wouldn’t find love to be a good reason to not eat his partner. The only reason I can find to have a friendship (not even a romantic relationship) with him is if you really like experimenting with cooking and you really, really need someone to taste your inventions.

Dancer of the Boreal Valley

I feel attraction, which means that just like any other being who feels attraction, I would date the Dancer. She is beautiful, graceful, a bit feral, and would not hesitate to put a flaming knife to my throat, which is the description of my dream woman. Imagine walking the streets with her, trying to hold her hand while it dangles 3 feet above you and she insists on holding her sword, actually, so she might slay anyone who tries to approach you, which she communicates through icy breaths and murmurs. The date of a lifetime.

Oceiros, the Consumed King

Another awful choice on this list, Oceiros is RABID and also, as far as we know, still a married man. You really want to date a man that hasn’t even gone through his divorce but already looks like this? Me neither. I’m already not big on dragon fucking but the fact that he’s all viscous and has weird growths all over him is not helping. Also, he has children, and we know how I feel about that — although, given how he treats them, he probably won’t have kids very soon (too far?).

Ancient Wyvern

So I’ve stated that I’m not very big on dragon fucking. With that said, do I think the wyvern is sexy and beautiful? Absolutely so. You’re probably like « Blue you’re sending mixed signals, are you gonna date the lizard or not? » and to that I say, date? Perhaps not. I would however like to form a lifelong bond with this wonderful force of nature and fight by its side, live a long and fulfilling life travelling along with it, only to die at the same time atop the tallest mountain in the world, where our skeletons will be discovers hundreds of years in the future by brave explorers, who will confirm that the legendary songs that were written about us were in fact not just a myth.

Nameless King

You’ve just read what I said about the wyvern. I feel like the Nameless King really understands me and would respect me for that. We could bond over our love of dragons and other flying scaly beasts and perhaps share some chaste kisses while soaring the sky on our companions. It’s nice to date someone who loves pets as much as you. I feel like he would be a fun guy to hang around in general, maybe he’d let you braid his hair or try on his crown. He can arrange personalized fireworks shows for you with his lightning powers. I don’t think you’d ever be bored around him.  

Dragonslayer Armor

Dating an empty suit of armor has never bothered me (see: ds2 Ruin Sentinels), however I have beef with the dragonslayer armor. Is it a beautiful armor? Perhaps a bit worn off, but the reply remains affirmative. However, it is controlled by Pilgrim Butterflies, which basically means I’m dating one to multiple of these things in the shape of an armor, and I’ve gotta confess that I’m not down for that.

Lorian Older Prince and Lothric Younger Prince

Here comes the delicate moment where we have to make a choice without offending anyone. I personally, speaking for myself, in my own opinion, would rather date Lorian. Reason: he is big, strong, and a bit rabid, which I’ve made very clear is my type. I don’t dislike Lothric, but I feel like we’d be better off as best friends who have a really snarky group chat where we shit talk the entire kingdom. That’s pretty good because if I even just slightly disliked Lothric I’m pretty sure Lorian would sense it and would not hesitate to murder me on sight.

Champion’s Gravetender and Champion Greatwolf

Well the full name is just a formality here, I’m not completely insane so I don’t want to date this rabid wolf. I feel like the Champion’s Gravetender is just a normal dude who’s a bit in over his head and it’s not his fault but he just seems a bit boring compared to all my other options. Instead of a date I think he’d be more of an awkward flirt I had when I was bored and then I came to my senses but didn’t know how to disengage, but in the end it worked out because he was more interested in his work anyway.

Sister Friede and Father Ariandel

Again a choice has to be made and I will have to be predictable and say I’d date Elfriede. Just like Dancer she’s what the woman of my dreams is made of. She’s graceful and could easily take my life and I think it’s awfully sexy of her to be like that. I think I’d be accepted into the family pretty easily, which is important since Father Ariandel cares about Friede so much. I’d go visit him sometimes, play chess with him, bring him his flail, normal interactions with your girlfriend’s dad.

Soul of Cinder

I’m gonna be a tiny bit freaky here and say I’d date the Soul of Cinder. Dating it is just like opening a Kinder Surprise egg, you never know what you’re gonna get (sorry Americans for excluding you here). That makes life exciting and doesn’t let routine stall your relationship. Every day you can wake up with the question « What weapon will my darling walk around with today? The flaming sword, or the sorcery staff? » and be surprised by the answer. Truly ideal, but I understand it’s not for the faint of heart.

Demon Prince

I’m gonna go with a maaaaaaybeeeee? leaning towards no. I mean yes, the Demon Prince is a weird fleshy flaming demon, and that may be a bit gross, but I’ve gotta admit I admire his style, the drama of it all. The care he puts into his entrance, the attitude in his moves. If we don’t date I’d at least want to be friends so he can teach me his ways.

Darkeater Midir

I have very intense and contradictory feelings towards Midir. In one hand, holy shit, absolutely epic dragon, the spirit of companionship is growing in me. On the other hand, this beast is RABID and pretending I could tame him is foolish, and pretentious. I guess in the end the answer remains that I don’t date dragons, I just want to adopt them as my extremely exotic pets.

Halflight, Spear of the Church

Yeah I’d date Halflight, I know it’s the easy answer but look at him. I mean shit he’s walking around like a little thotty with his shirt open and you mean to tell me I’m not supposed to wanna date him because he looks pretty much like a regular dude? My boy Halflight WANTS me to date him or else he would not show up with his tiddies out to a sword fight, which as an activity already has enough erotic implications on its own.

Slave Knight Gael

I’m gonna say it unashamedly and I’ll say it again: I would date Gael. He’s been nothing but helpful and when he tries to attack you it’s to help his little lady that he’s adopted as his niece. We love a chaotic parental figure. Maybe he’s a tad bit old and dirty but there’s nothing a good bath can’t fix and I’m sure he’d appreciate having someone taking care of him for once. Again, he’s got that slightly unhinged quality to him that makes him delightful. When I walk around with my partner I want us to instill both fear and fascination in people which we would be able to accomplish perfectly well.

Dark Souls 1: Remastered date list // Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin date list

[sapphicomenn]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THOR

it was a dark and stormy night when padme, an old man, and a beautiful nerd named darcy a find bright light in the sky with thunder and s giant tornado in it. AND CHRIS HEMSWORTH HOLY SHIT

STORYTELLING WITH ODIN ABOUT A FIGHT WITH ICE CREAM TROLLS. frosty the snow man is angry about it

GLOWY CUBE

agard. sounds like ass guard. baby thor and loki are adorable. story telling ended up being fairytail for children. WINGED HELMET

LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI

ah yes. the hammer named MILJinoNOR made in the heart of a star. ohshit walls got frosty. AMBUSH

“i swear, i swear, i sWEAR!” SHUSH IT AND GET TO FIGHTING. YALL GOT FROSTY BOYS INVADING ASS GUARD- oh fuck eye beam giant is OP.

thor is bloodthirsty, thats how you get the plot of the movie when you get turned mortal :/

loki is lovely i love him. he will never ever ever do anything wrong- oh hes starting drama between thor and frosty boys

WHOMST THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE??

“and who proved wrong that a young maiden could be one of the fiercesr warriors.” “i did” “true, but i supported you, sif.” JSHSKHSKSJSKSJSJ

HORSES ON THE GLITTER GLASS BRIDGE. this is all beautiful wtf i love asgard. HEIMDALL- thor stfu dont shut loki down ya fucker. yall are bullying loki and then get shocked he turns evil?

MAGIC SWORD IS THE KEY TO ALL THE REALMS. HAHA ROUND THINGY GO SPINNY SPINNY. heimdall tells em the bridge to frosty realm might fuck em over and leave em to die.

“we shouldnt be here.” MAYBE BRING THAT UP AT THE PLANNING BIT, NOT THE ‘WE’RE HERE LETS GO EXPLORE’ BIT. DEEP VOICE IS SMEXY AS FUCK

“You’re nothing but a boy. who came to prove hinself a man.”

“know your place. brother.” STOP BEING MEAN TO LOKI, THOR :(

HAMMER GO B O N K ON FROSTY BOYS SKSNSKSKSK

LOKIS MAGIC IS AMAZING YOU’RE DOING GREAT BBY- laughing during a sword fight because fuck every other emotion righ- OHSHIT NVM HE GOT IMPALED ON A SPIKE OF ICE

GIANT SNOW BEAST GO BRRRR. THUNDER ON THESE FROST COVERED ASSES- whY is he still laughing he got a spike through his chest what the hell dude you good?

HOLYSHIT THOR JUST CHUCKED MILNNOR THROUGH THE BEASTS FUCKING HEAD LIKE A KNIFE THROUGH BUTTER

ODIN TO SAVE THE DAY AND GET HIS CHILDS ASS OUT OF TROUBLE. thor started a fucking war because of this fightboner jesus christ this child. SHOUTING MATCHES

daddys angry with his child- thor is unworthy this, unworthy that. AND BANISHED TO EARTH LIKE A FUCKING LOSER SKSHSKSJSJ

and back to padme’s modern time wE GO

HA HE GOT MERKED BY A TAZER

DARCY YOU ADORABLE CHILD

“How dArE YOu aTtAcK tHE SoN oF oDIN😡😡😡” hes like an angry puppy

body in a photo?? pog info??? WHY HAS HE BEEN HIT BY A CAR TWICE ALREADY

STAN LEE

COULSON

THOR IS FUCKING RIPPED. meanwhile is ass guard. loki snitched for a good reason. but nOoOoO thors, friends, blame loki.WHY ARE THEY BLAMING LOKI FOR BRING IN THE FROSTY BOYS- oh shit he can controll the snow cube. backstory for loki? mayhaps?- HOLYSHIT HES A SMURF

“the casket wasnt the only thing you took from jotunheim that day, was it?” HES ONTO YOU ODIN. odin literally kidnapped- oh no nvm loki as a baby was left for dead. I WANNA HUG LOKI SO BAD HES IN EMOTINAL DISSTRESS :(

“because i-i-i’m the monster, parents tell their children about at night?” LOKI BABY EVERYTHINGS GONNA BE OKAY

holyshit loki’s breakdown killed odin wtf. my man collasped onto the staircase

“this drink. i like it.” “i know its gre-“ “ANOTHER! *SHATTERING GLASS*”

“myeu muh? whats a myeu muh?” DARCY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SKSHSKHSKS

man coulson thats a dick move to snatch up all of padmes shit- AND DARCYS IPOD???

loki do be looking snazzy on the throne👀 good for him. look at these fucker friends of thor tryna make him inbanish thor :/

BOOKS- on norse myth.? yeah norse myth

padme is sus of thor, and almost got em into a car crash. “god i hope you’re not crazy.” oh wait till you aee what happens

ODINS TAKING A NAP FOR THOUSNDS OF YEARS OR SUMSHIT

frigga is tryna convice loki they meant well. kinda hard too ngl. damn shield has beefed up security around this fucking hammer

oh shit electrical thunder is fucking with the shield tech once thor showed up. RAIN AND MAGIC HUMMING- thor is kicking shield’s ass- COULSON- who the fuck chooses a bow and arrow to shoot a target when they had sniper rifle- barton- HAWKEYE NVM BADASS ARROW GUY IS AMAZING

oh shit thor found miljjnor. mudfight but make it less smexy. epic momentt pogg.. its totally gonna fail him so fucking bad its gonna be funny

told you so.

now hes yelling at the sky like an insane person

AND got arrested :I

poor heimdall having to watch this all like a sad sitcom. OLDMAN STFU

“look its myeu-muh!” darcy needs to be protected at ALL COST. ohmygod they think thor is a solider from enemy lines aIshsksjskks

LOKIII- oh shit hes telling thor everything went wrong bc him and that a truce was- NVM LOKI IS TRYING THE HAMMER. YOU GOT IT LOKI

old man go save thors stupid ass. redeem yourself. bar talk is somehow wholesome. oh shit thors gotta dip outta town bc oldman said so. he didint listen to odin and ended up starting a war- OH CRAP LOKI DID LET THE FROSTY BOYS INTO ASGARD.

heimdall knows loki is causing trouble. good for loki. HA RHE OLDMAN GOT FUCKING WASTED BY THE BOOZE LIKE A COWARD.

padme is so awkward around thor. shes in looovvveee. awh thor snatched up her genius book from shield. YIGHDRISLE is such an amazing name for a tree filled with planets and worlds

DUDE DONT SHAME THE MAN FOR STRESS EATING

LOKI KNOWS HEIMDALL SNITCHED AND LET FUCKER FRIENDS THROUGH. HOLYSHIT THEY FOUND THOR SLJSOSJSKSKS

thor knows loki lied- heimdall knows loki let in the frosty boys, and is currently frozen soild by that blue cube thingy. AND NOW THE OP METAL LAZERBEAM BASTARD IS ON EARTH

OH GOD A SPEAR THROUGH THE THROAT MUST HURT LIKE A MF- SIF DONT DIE

LAZERBEAM STOP BLOWING UP BUILDINGS

dude things were getting blown up left and right but suddenly thor’s plot armor engaged and a car just flips over him and instead of going boom. standoff between lazerface and thor- whomst shall win? find out next week on: HOLYSHIT THE NORSE GODS EXIST

loki just watched thor try to give up his life and now lazerface is leav- FUCK NVM IT BITCH SLAPPED THOR SKSHSJSJSJSKKSKSJ. oH now it leaves

hammer go brrr soon? HAMMER GO BRRRRRR

PADME SAVE YOURSELF THOR JUST GOT POWERED THE FUCK UP

“oh my god” YOU JUST SAW A METAL MECH SHOOT A LAZER OUT ITS FACE AND FOUR PEOPLE IN VIKING ARMOR FIGHT. ARE YOU STILL SHOCKED???

LAZERFACE GO BOOM. THORS BACK BABYY

oh shit the frosty boys are on asgard- HEIMDALL NEEDS TO UNFREEZE AND WORK ITS MAGIC LIKE NOW

oh god the animation for some dead frosty boys got so noticable that was horrible.

TIME TO GO KICK LOKI’S ASS SKSKSJS- OHFUCK FRIGGA NOO. OHSHIT LOKI JUST MURDERED LAUGHY THE FROST KING.

lokis “ohshit thors back” face is amazing

loki hun what the fuck are you doing- stop tryna destory shit like a hero.

“I NEVER WANTED THE THRONE. I WANTED TO BE YOUR EQUAL!” my heart is torn :((

brothers fighting while a energy tree builds around him? sure why not. ohfuck loki got his ass handed to him- THOR WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE HAMMER ON HIM LIKE THAT SKSHSKSJSJSK

THOR WOKE ODIN UP BY VREAKING THE FUCKING RAINBOW BRIDGE

ODINS AWAKE AND SAVE EM AGAIN

IM CRYING LOKI JUST WANTED TO MAKE ODIN PROUD AND HE SHUT EM DOWN LIKE THAT. ODIN YOU FUCKING SUCK

awh this is making me sad i dont like this sad ending this sucks so much. loki deserved better then to die knowing odin hated him :(

heimdall is out of a job now that the bifrost is broken haha loser.

NEXT MOVIE: THE AVENGERS

ignore the misspells and the bad grammar its almost two AM by the time i finished watching and writing this up

[steveharrington]

you’ve probably been asked this before but what’s the best and absolute worst pairings in the series in your opinion?

since this ask is specifically about pairings In the series i’m ignoring shit like harringrove (which would take the place for the worst ship if considered) BUT i think the best is probably jopper and the worst is probably mileven.

jopper has just been well done so far in my opinion! the show has acknowledged the will they/won’t they dynamic that mirrors relationships like sam and diane and in my opinion it does that trope SO much better than most of the pairings people think of when will they/won’t they is brought up. ross and rachel is a big one. it would be really easy for the writers to fall into the trap of creating shallow conflict between joyce and hopper just for the sake of keeping them apart longer, but really all of their conflict makes sense. in season one joyce’s child is literally missing and hopper is still grieving the loss of his without any sense of closure, so a romantic relationship at that point would’ve been bad for both of them. in season two joyce is with bob because he represents stability that she craves (and he’s not just some giant asshole like this trope usually sets up, hes a nice normal guy who treats her kids well and greets hopper when he sees him) and in season three they’re both on extremely different points in the timeline of recovering from traumatic shit. it makes SENSE that they aren’t together yet and it helps build anticipation for when it inevitably happens. i also just like that they both have plotlines aside from romance. when you think of hopper and joyce as characters, you don’t think of them as half of a whole. that makes a good pairing imo. plus they are my parents.

on the flip side my main beef with mileven is just that shipping children as early as the age of 12 feels wrong. making them kiss and slow dance feels even worse!! i think if they were solely written to be platonic, mike and el would have one of the most refreshing dynamics i’ve seen on tv in a long time. this becomes more of a flaw as they get older and older, and in season three theres one particular scene that just kinda makes me lose interest in them. when mike’s yelling at everyone because el is about to like drop dead from Brain Power Usage they use that trope where he’s like “and we can’t let this happen BECAUSE I LOVE HER” which 1. doesn’t work when it’s a 14 year old speaking and 2. just kind of sours a dynamic that was previously very wholesome and unconditional. in season one mike helps hide el just because he wants to help her. he wants to keep her safe. there’s no mention at this point of how pretty he finds her or how he wants to take her to the snow ball or anything romantic at all. he just is being kind to her. once the “relationship” progresses and everything becomes about romance, it not only feels out of place because they’re young children but it also just makes their bond seem a lot flimsier. also it’s weird to make 13 year old actors kiss on set esp when they expressed discomfort with it ✌🏻💖

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #422

“i will not become a figure of my mistakes  /  i will not become the mask that is not my face”

Have you ever been told you were a good writer? I've been told that's one of my "gifts." What do you put on your baked potatoes? Butter, American cheese, and bacon bits. Gooood shit. What are you listening to? I'm re-watching Gab Smolders play Parasite Eve. Love that game to bits, and I really enjoy how she has a legitimate appreciation for it despite its age. It's so great watching her fall in love with a game she knew nothing about. Did you ever have braces? Yes. Are you afraid of flying? I acknowledge the risks of it, but I don't really actively fear it. Are you short? No; I'm your average height for an American woman of my age. Have you ever used a fire extinguisher? No. Would you want your future children to date someone like you as a teenager? I was a fine teenager, so sure. Are you unhappy at the moment? That's quite the understatement. When’s the last time you got in trouble with your parents? *shrug* How many children do you want? None. It's funny though, I had a dream last night that I gave birth to a daughter I of course named Alessandra. Have you ever watched Keeping Up With The Kardashians? No. Do you have any career ideas in mind? I have no desire to talk about this right now. Do you have any gay friends? Yeah. Are you gay yourself? I'm bi. Are you doing anything this weekend? Of course I'm not. But that's a surprise to nobody. How many brothers do you have? One. Do you like Mexican food? Only very few things. What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)? Oh man. Some are family pets more than hers, but regardless, there's Buster, Beasley, Winter, Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, Jane Marie, Doris, Raisha, and a bunch of other fish. Did you go to work today? I don’t have a job. .-. How old are you? How old do you act? 25. I think mentally I'm capable of acting older, but as far as "being an adult" goes, taking care of mature responsibilities, I'm a child. What size shoe do you wear? I... haven't worn anything but flipflops in so long that I barely know. I want to say an 8? 7 1/2 depending on the shoe? Are there any spiders in your room right now? I dunno. What was your favorite class during your sophomore year of high school? Art, for sure. Who’s your favorite Disney character? Probably Dory. Are there any framed pictures of you in your house? With my sisters, yes. Do you wear bandanas in your hair? No. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not interested. Do you need to shave? My legs look like a gorilla's. My armpits, slightly. I shave them every time I shower, so I'll shave them soon. Are you wearing makeup right now? No. I never do nowadays. Do you know anyone named Laura? Not off the top of my head. Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? A few things. How many living grandparents do you still have? None. What are your plans for the rest of the day? Nothing, really. I hope I read today, though. I haven't the past couple days and I refuse to totally lose my habit of it again. How many times have you been sick this year? None. What colour is your toothbrush? White. Do you have a favourite author? No. How long do you usually take in the shower? Barely even 10 minutes. I do nooot understand how some people take so long. Clean yourself, get out. Like I get it if you're shaving or doing "extra" stuff besides washing your hair and body, but generally, how???? Have you ever worked in an office? No, but as I prepare to job search again, that's what I'm aiming for, I guess. It sounds like something I (including my legs, given I'd be sitting) could possibly handle. But yeah, you need experience in absolutely everything nowadays to get any job, it seems. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? Yes. Have you ever kissed anyone under the mistletoe? I actually don't think I have. What’s your go-to activity when you’re bored? Watch YouTube. Who was the last person you texted? The lady who works in my psychiatrist's office to verify my next appointment date. Do you see yourself married in the next five years? Probably not, really. How long does it take you to get ready to go out? Barely over five minutes, or less, depending on what I have to do. Do you own any clothes you wouldn’t wear in front of your mother? No. Have you changed much this year? I haven't changed at all. And that's not a good thing. Is there a girl that you truly hate? A corner of my mind says yes. Even though I have no right to. Do you have any candles in your room? No, but I do have a wax warmer. Have you ever had to dial 911 before? A couple times for Mom. What’s something in your past that you’ll always remember? I'm almost certain even dementia couldn't take away my memory of the breakup. Did you have a good birthday this year? Yeah, it was good. How many people have told you they were in love with you? Two. Do you find smoking unattractive? Yes. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I eat way too fast, but I literally can't figure out how to change it. I try to slow down, but it just... doesn't stick. It's so engrained in me as a habit. Do you remember how you felt on 9/11? I was too young to remember this. What do you think of people who always wear make-up? You go for it, you look great. What’s a smell that absolutely makes you gag? Severely decaying roadkill is very high on the list. Is there a smell that gives you headaches? Gasoline. What about one that reminds you of the past? Play-Doh, for one. Childhood things like that. Also like those really fruity lip glosses, etc. What’s your least favorite thing about summer? The fucking heat and humidity. What’s your least favorite thing about the holiday season? The knowledge I don't have the money to buy like anyone presents. Especially my niece and nephew. Mom helps me buy something for them, but still... I feel like such a bad aunt that I can't do it myself. Other than yourself, who knows you the best? Whoever reads these, probably, ha ha. Do you have any embarrassing qualities and, if so, what are they? I'm just awkward in general. What’s one complaint that you have about school? Common Core. It's awful. What do you do while you’re on campus but not in class? I would just go to the library and do stuff on my laptop. Do you know anyone who has Autism/Asperger’s syndrome? Yes. It's questionable that I myself may have high-functioning autism. Has anyone of the same sex ever hit on you? Yeah. Are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not? Yes, because I'm bisexual. Have you ever dressed like or worn clothing belonging to the opposite sex? I would wear Jason's pj pants sometimes. Have you ever found yourself to be ugly? I've always believed I'm ugly. Have you read the Twilight series and do you like it or dislike it? I never read the series or watched the movies. Have you been on any type of online messengers today? I've used Discord to message Sara. What is your state’s minimum wage? $7.25 an hour. Disgusting. Do you own a tablet of any kind? No. If you eat eggs, how do you eat them? I only enjoy scrambled eggs or omelettes. When you’re upset, do you vent to people or do you keep to yourself? Nowadays, I tend to keep it to myself or vent through surveys. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No, but I would love to. Do you like Slim Jims? OH MY GOD YESSSSSSSSSS. I want one now. What’s your opinion on the color turquoise? I think it's very pretty. Have you ever been in a castle? Only the Disney World one. When you were little, did you ever play with Play-Doh? Of course! I loved doing that. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Hm... probably a love story. Are you afraid of getting shots? Kind of. I just hate the feeling of the medicine being injected, and long needles puncturing skin makes me want to squirm a bit. Needles in general though, I'm not afraid of. Would you ever run away and get married with no notifications to your family? Uh, no. I'm close with my immediate family and would want them to know. Have you ever wanted to vlog? Noooo. My life is so very boring, not to mention I would feel WAY too awkward. Who was the last person who unexpectedly texted you? No one unexpectedly texts me. Have you ever voluntarily read the Bible? Some of it. Have you ever thought that your life was so bad you wanted to give up? Many times. Do thunder & storms scare you? Actually, since I started having recurring tornado nightmares, I started to sort of fear them again. What are two foods you think only taste good with whipped cream? I hate whipped cream. If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef? Cheeseburgers. Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way? No. Did your last significant other have a huge temper? No. Would you ever think about doing porn? NOOOOOOOOO, even if I was in good shape. Would you ever cheat on someone if they cheated on you? No. That's not going to fix anything. Do you like getting jewelry or do you not wear any? I don't mind it, but I don't really wear it. When you were in high school did you ever have bomb threats? Once or twice. He was a... troubled kid. Did/Do you get school cancellations because of snow? Oh yes. My area flips shit if there's even a risk of like an inch of snow. Who knows ALL of your secrets? Nobody. Do you eat dinner with your family every night? No. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to have a baby right now? No, not really. That would be fucking awful. There's no way I'd be able to raise it. Have you used Limewire before? Back in the day. Are you/Were you in a band? If so, what was your band name? No. Have you ever tried cocaine or heroin? No thanks. Do you own any shirts with a peace symbol on it? No. I'd wear one, though. Have you ever dyed your hair light auburn? No. Ever had ice cream dots? Dippin' Dots? Yes. Do you have your national flag hanging up anywhere outside your house? No. Would you ever go to Japan? I'd like to. Have you ever been in a choir? When I was a kid in Catholic school, yes. What did you eat for breakfast today? Honey Nut Cheerios. When is the next time you’ll be up on stage? Preferably never.

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 3X13 - Witch Hunt

Hey! What’s Zelena’s favorite food?

A sand-WITCH, of course!

...Got it. Shutting up. Review’s below. Read it, bitches.

Press Release

Emma arrives in Storybrooke with Henry and reunites with her friends and family, only to discover that no one remembers how they were transported back - or the past year they had spent back in Fairy Tale Land. But Emma is sure that someone in town is responsible for this new curse and teams up with Regina in an attempt to uncover their identity. Meanwhile, in the Fairy Tale Land that was during the past year, Regina, with the aid of Robin Hood, attempts to break into her castle, which has been overtaken by the Wicked Witch.

Main Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness

Past

Regina and Zelena’s first meeting is just straight-up iconic! The buildup to it is incredible, with little hints scattered all around the episode that the two are related and that Zelena’s power is a completely different horse than Regina’s, even down to the color. But there’s this sense of relation because of how sassy the two of them are.

“Despite my shortcomings, I’ve made something of myself.” This whole scene perfectly characterizes Zelena. Regina has been a force of antagonism for a lot of people, but no one has had the strength to truly do something about it. The most that could be done is a level of subduing her or having Henry tame her. But now, an interesting balance was struck. Zelena is more powerful than Regina and puts her on the prowl with that sense of antagonism BUT there’s also another layer to it. She allows for the integrity of Regina’s character development to stay intact. Because her beef is with something Cora did and pointed at Regina for superficial reasons -- that of being born (And holy crap, I just noticed a parallel between this and the Daniel incident and that’s a topic for another day), Regina is still able to be a hero without coming across as torturing someone she already hurt. Mix this in with that gorgeous green all over Rebecca Mader’s body and various pieces of iconography and you have something truly cool!

Present

I really like the handling of the confusion and paranoia throughout the town.

Leroy (The embodiment of the town’s voice at large) as well as the rest of the “rabble” blaming Regina make a lot of sense to me. As I pointed out last time, while our mains have bonded with Regina and understand the depth of her love for Henry, the rest of the town hasn’t had those experiences. They’ve just seen her as the woman who cursed the kingdom and threatened them at nearly every public appearance she’s ever made. And seeing Emma and Regina aware of that and using it to their advantage was utterly fantastic! It’s a really methodical approach that speaks to how self aware they’ve become.

It’s such a clever plan too! The only thing that holds it back from being a straight-up success is their lack of knowledge about Regina and Zelena’s relation. And seeing everything play out is satisfying!

Insights - Stream of Consciousness

-Wicked always WIIIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSSS!

-”A family could live on what this is worth. And she just left it all behind.” That begs the question: DID she leave that stuff behind? I mean, Regina dressed very differently in Storybrooke than she did in the Enchanted Forest, but why leave the jewels?!

-I like how Zelena uses magic for all the things that a normal person would use it for. Getting dressed is a pain? Use fucking magic for it!

-ROLAND! The precious baby!!!

-”I’m ALWAYS thinking about Henry.” Awwwwww!!!

-Go Mama Mills! Monkey’s flying at an adorable kid and Regina swoops in and saves him! Noice!

-Damn, Regina! That is a high quality toy you made!

-I love how whether they read the story or not, everyone just KNOWS that Snow can talk to birds.

-”Smart money’s on yes.” Why yell at him Snow? He’s not wrong! Pessimistic, maybe, but that’s literally in his fucking name!

-”He’ll show up Swan. He always does.” I really wish this line was said in good faith, but Killian’s eye roll makes me think it’s ship war nonsense. Dude! Neverland’s over! Let’s be done with the machismo!

-”The bookworm’s right.” Look at that little side eye.

-”Oz? That place is real?” Aww! Cute Snow/Emma parallel for later when she discovers the Wicked Witch is real.

-”We we cell mates.” Ginny’s freakin’ tone during that exchange! Yes, you, Mary Margaret, in your most preppy-prep school voice and manner, were definitely in a cell! XD

-Dude! That Regal Believer exchange was just the saddest thing in the world! Regian can hardly move, so much so that Emma basically has to usher her out to not cause even more of a scene.

-As a side note, I love Regina’s Storybrooke outfit in this episode!

-Emma and Regina’s exchange in Granny’s alcove is just so amazing! Emma’s not without her reasons to distrust Regina and makes that clear and Regina’s aware enough of that but not without reservations of her own to Emma’s accusatory nature.

-How much you want to bet Granny recommended the crossbow to Little John?!

-Okay, so I am a total carnivore and I laughed my ass off when that arrow missed! XD

-I love how Rebecca Mader is dressed so down that a shot and a music swell is needed to show off who she is.

-”Who knew an Evil Queen had a soft spot for children?” You pressed the Henry button, Robin. You shouldn’t have done that.

-”I may have done bad things in my life, but at least I own it.” Regina, NONE of that works the way you think it does. For one thing, a good portion of your time prior to the curse (As well as after it), you denied you were the Evil Queen. For another, admitting you’re bad doesn’t do anything to lessen the effects of the bad things you do. Regina, Reggie-kins! You were doing so well!

-”I inadvertently put her in harm’s way during a job.” I love how freakin’ vague this line is. Like, I feel like there was a “Murder Most Foul”-esque red herring twist -- even more so than the one we got -- that would gel with a Robin flashback (Which was desperately needed).

-I love how this is framed as Henry not being himself because he’s not reacting to baby stuff, but he’s a freakin’ kid! I’d be telling her to buzz off as well!

-”Baby’s are stronger than you think.” Did you enjoy that double entendre, Jane? XD Because I did!

-I like how magic has a scientific element to it occasionally. For just as much as it’s a matter of talent or an ability by birth, magic can be learned and some of the strongest practitioners got to where they are by studying their asses off. There’s a diversity to it that reflects the diversity of skills.

-”I know just who to tell.” Yes, Regina!!! You told the embodiment of the town at large!!! Awesome decision!

-Nurse! Stick the fucking syringe in Little John! Yeah, he’s acting weird, but he’s not attacking just yet, so get a move on!

-”I’m a doctor, not a vet.” We REALLY need to get a magical vet on staff. I feel like Storybrooke has way too many animal problems to not have one.

-I love Regina and Emma’s conversation about stakeouts! It’s so subdued and domestic and FUNNY! XD

-Aww! Henry has friends! I wonder if said friends are wondering what the hell happened to Henry. Like, are there fics akin to “Stand By Me” where his friend group goes looking for him? Does Henry still text them? There’s a fucking story here!

-“Enough with the martyr complex, Regina. Try growing up without a mother.” ...She has a twinge of a point there, Regina.

-”They’re both dead.” I love how Rebecca Mader plays off learning that information. Like, her facial expressions there are divine!

-Has anyone ever written a fic where Zelena DID make the time traveling spell and used it on her terms?

-”Someone to destroy.” OMFG! Lana’s face! I fucking love it!

-”Why’d she tell you all of this?” Dude, she said two pieces of info that are the most general topics in the world when dealing with kids.

-”Maybe we can stop for ice cream.” BAD IDEA!

-”He took on simian form with the added bonus of wings.” A touch redundant, Killian.

-”Seriously? She’s real too?” I love that adorably innocent way that line is given! It’s so cute!

-OMG! I love the Rumple reveal! First, we see some straw. Then we see a male’s hand. Finally, we see his rugged and haggard face! That was so small, but so good!

-Rumple’s poor floof! It’s all gross!

-Rumple’s cage outfit looks more Weaver than Rumple! XD

-Okay, seeing Rumple not in makeup and acting crazy may quite possibly be the scariest thing in this series!

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?

The Wicked Witch - Damn! Rebecca Mader plays Zelena playing a midwife flawlessly! It’s up there with Pan as just amazing! Also, Zelena is freakin’ clever as hell! She takes full advantage of her knowledge of the people of Storybrooke to get exactly what she needs. And as I mentioned before, the flashback scenes perfectly characterize her. She’s sinister, has greater depth to her, and is just so cool! And speaking of cool, while the player (Zelena) is revealed to the audience, there’s a great element of mystery still going on, keeping the season from just feeling like a waiting game. Why is everyone being turned into monkeys vampire-style? What happened during that year? Who knows!

Regina’s Redemption - Like with the past few episodes, I really enjoy Regina’s character development. We’re starting to enter the payoff stage of her redemption as she further grows on better terms with everyone and protecting not just herself and Henry, but others too.

Killian’s Redemption - “Is he alive?” I love the way that Killian’s eyes just show that it’s something he’s genuinely concerned about. Absent is the snarkier, less mature version of himself and here, we have a Killian who recognizes that a good person’s life is in jeopardy and genuinely just doesn’t want him to be dead.

Favorite Dynamic

Regina and Emma. Who fucking else? The friendliness between these two set up by Regina’s fake memories and her means of stopping the curse perfectly allows for the niceness between the two of them to fit like a glove! It’s not full on best friend niceness, but it’s a niceness that reflects what they did for each other in “Coming Home” and reflects well on their history.

Writer

Here we have Jane Espenson flying solo as the writer of this episode! She did a fantastic job. The stories throughout the segments are very simple, but the complexity is allowed to shine through the intricacies of the characters. The dialogue and thought processes of everyone are exceptionally well handled and there’s a lot of comedy that just works so well!

Rating

Golden Apple. While I normally reserve a Golden Apple for something with a bit more of a thematic resonance, the execution of the stories here is so good that it doesn’t need a theme in that way. The story and writing are exceptionally good here, playing it simple, but smart and allowing the nuances to speak for themselves. There’s a lot of great elements and great and iconic moments here. It’s a fun step on the journey of this new arc.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Swan Fire - For all of the worrying that Neal does for Emma, it’s really heartwarming to see how much she worries about him!

Outlaw Queen - I feel like for purposes of full disclosure, I should preface this by saying that I’m not a super strong Outlaw Queen shipper. That said, I want to like them (As I want to like all things), and I’m really liking them in 3B (I liked them the first time around in my initial watch of 3B too)! Lana and Sean have good chemistry and the writing gives them a nice bit of banter. You get the feeling that while they don’t despise each other, they’re not on good terms and that trust has to build between them. And because this is early on in Robin’s existence, he’s allowed to be a simpler character. The love story between them starts out simple and to the point, allowing for it to be a great romance story.

Swan Queen - You really see the developed faith and trust between Emma and Regina and it’s so nice to see them being much more open with each other. Look at their dialogue in the office and how honest and kind they are to each other and it’s night-and-day compared to Season 1, but so well built! And look at those gentle smiles! It’s so sweet!! The payoff here is just so good!

-----

I’m so glad I was able to get more in-depth about this episode! Thank you all for reading and to those fabulous folks at @watchingfairytales!

Next time, we’ll see another looming presence that towers over our heroes. ;)

Season 3 Total (126/220)

Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (39/60) Kalinda Vazquez (17/40) Andrew Chambliss (27/50) Jane Espenson (20/30) David Goodman (20/40) Robert Hull (20/40) Christine Boylan (20/20)* Daniel Thomsen (20/30) * Indicates that their work for the season is complete

Operation Rewatch Archives

[kurogabae]

Tsubasa: Trainwreck Chronicles

And Why Bee Train Personally Owes Me At Least a Grand; an Essay by Popular Demand

part 1 part 2

For those of you who might not know, I love Tsubasa Chronicle. So much. But for the love of Kurogane’s beautiful biceps is the anime awful. Now, I’m not one of those “manga purists” who always insists the manga is better than the anime, I tend to find them equal pretty often. This is not one of those cases.

Once upon a time CLAMP made a deal with Bee Train for a Tsubasa anime. Cardcaptor Sakura had done so well! CLAMP was a solid name to back! Bee Train had nothing to lose - except the trust of every CLAMP fan ever. I don’t know how hands on CLAMP (or rather Ohkawa) were in the production but I feel like “not at all” is a fairly solid guess. It was a mess folks. Production was rushed, story was disregarded, plot was cut up and Frankensteined back together, I’m not even going to talk about the English casting.

In fairness, it wasn’t without it’s good points. The soundtrack was flawless, the Japanese cast was amazing, and when Bee Train tried they really did manage to make the series look nice, which imo makes the rest of the subpar animation even more of a slap to the face. They even had some genuinely enjoyable filler episodes - the chibi episode and the Kero and Mokona episode are always the first to come to my mind - but overall? Not even a hot mess, just a mess. 

Under the cut we’ll go arc by arc. I’m not going to rewatch the series just to write this so forgive me if I’m missing facts or if something I say is slightly inaccurate. Also, beware of spoilers for the manga if you haven’t finished reading it. That means you Nick. I’ll write you up a spoiler free copy of this later. Anyway, let’s go.

Opening and introductions:

You’d think, as the start of your series, you’d want the first episode or two to look really nice right? Catch the eye, impress the new viewer. Not Bee Train! [x x] The whole thing is subpar at best. Syaoran and Sakura’s introduction isn’t so bad for the most part, they’re cute and Bee Train tried to add a little more interaction between them before Sakura loses her feathers, which I am all kinds of behind, but... there’s a point where they run from castle guards. And Syaoran sort of just... grabs her and runs and Sakura is left literally flapping in the wind? [x] Also Sakura looks stoned out of her mind in like 90% of the shots she’s in. Touya probably thinks Syaoran is giving her drugs. But honestly, I don’t have too many problems with how the intro happens, mostly just the way it looks.

Fai’s intro can go by with almost no comment aside from the fact that his face looks like it’s melting. Sadly, this is not the worse his face will ever look. Pretty meh.

Personally I think Kurogane’s intro got the short end of the stick visually and I’m not just saying that because he and Tomoyo are my favorites. They both look pretty awful and, as always, where’s the beef???

Also Yuuko deserved better. 

Hanshin:

If possible, the animation gets even lazier. We’ve added Mokona to the party and they cannot decide how big she is. I’m not being nitpicky either. Her size fluctuates wildly. Here are just a few examples set only in Hanshin. This problem persists throughout the series. Also I don’t know how to exactly put this into words but... everyone’s eyes are just extra jacked up. 

Plot wise we mostly follow canon. Until they decide Sakura should get more screen time. “Great idea!” I can hear you say. “We love Sakura!” Well so do I. Problem: she has one (1) feather to her name and is comatose. Sakura is not really going to do anything. Yet the camera keeps going back to her- oh wait she’s awake. Sort of. Oh she’s getting dressed now, we even get a very weird little montage of her trying on clothes. Now she’s wandering the town, meets up with the leader of the Mohawk Gang whose kudan Kurogane beat the crap out of. Luckily she’s a super cute girl (who is barely conscious and doesn’t even talk? She’s so far from Mokona she probably can’t even understand these guys anyway but...) so they take her out to lunch instead of doing something Terrible. To the restaurant Touya works at. He serves her and doesn’t recognize her, meaning there is no Sakura in this world, at least not one related to him. This happens a lot.

In the anime Sakura is sometimes, for reasons unexplained and inconsistent, “drawn” to her feathers. She’s looking for her feather. There is an absurd Looney Tunes moment where she climbs some sort of tall thing (oil rig? construction site? world’s weirdest flag pole?) and jumps off of it before Syaoran and Co. (who have located her after Arashi, who would never have lost track of her in the first place let’s be real, tells them she’s gone AWOL) can stop her.

And then she flies. Literally and truly fucking flies. Through the sky. Thanks I hate it. 

Syaoran catches her, brings her back home, and the story pretty much continues. One fun change was that the whole family had to share a room, they didn’t get separated like in the manga, so we get treated to this Gay Fucking Scene(tm) of Kurogane waking up and the first thing he sees if Fai sleeping while angelic music plays in the background. So that was nice.

Oh god hang on, I had to come back and add this because I literally always forget: Kurogane sees a version of Tomoyo in this world and goes running after her, leaving Fai and Syaoran to meet Touya and Yukito on their own. This results in both of them missing Kurogane’s kudan fight and Kurogane missing the “same face, different person” talk/reminder. They still can’t draw Tomoyo. 

Also this.

Koryo:

Where’s the beef?

Much in the spirit of Hanshin, Koryo keeps mostly to the plot and has overall meh animation with a few choice moments of dear god why. Surprisingly, they made a few changes that I didn’t hate - the village had gotten a group of rebels together against the Ryanban. He also stole Chu’nyan’s mother’s body, making it so that her spirit could never find peace, making him even more of a dick.

This is where we see the first instance of the anime really being geared towards younger audiences than CLAMP had planned for. In the manga Sakura wins everyone new clothes via dice gambling, but in the anime she wins a lottery. Not a big deal, but we see more of this. Another thing change is that there’s a whole secondary plot added to everything when they try to, again, give Sakura a more active role. There are better ways to do this, but Bee Train sort of just tosses her into action and then tosses Syaoran in after her. It’s always bad and pointless and never amounts to anything. 

Anyway, she ends up inside the castle, somehow Syaoran manages to follow after her. Goodness knows what the dads are up to. (Probably this.) Some Really Weird Stuff happens and from what I remember the spirit of Chu-nyan’s mother hops a ride out of the castle with Sakura. Who, uhh, teleports her and Syaoran out. Yeah.

The rest of the arc goes pretty much how the manga does with a handful of minor changes - like the fact that Kurogane never bought a manga in Hanshin, so in order to block Kiishim’s killing blow he’s tucked the hammer he was using to fix the roof in his shirt, which is a much smaller shield than a whole ass book and I think that’s dumb. Still can’t get Mokona’s size right, to awkward and hilarious results.

And remember kids, we won’t show you dice but we will show you this.

Big Lake and Shipper Fish:

The animation in this part is actually pretty nice. Considering. The things they changed were needless and weird.

Sakura and the fish talk. How? Why? We don’t know, it’s never explained or examined. We are meant to accept it Because Sakura, which only works most of the time. The fish tries to tell Sakura that she knows Syaoran - we all know this will not and cannot work. Why does this happen? What was the point of adding this? It is so weird and awkward. It messes up the flow and is so extra. I understand your desires Shipper Fish, but please, let things take their course.

Jade:

Fuck you and fuck your animation. It looks The Worst, which is a bummer because this world changes the fewest amount of things. Anything I could point out are really minor:

somehow Fai can read

they never show how the family gets their clothes, and 99% of the scene in the tavern is skipped

breaking and entering!

Mokona bites Kurogane in the ass

they don’t have horses

no Kuro-dork looking at the snow like an excited child

they nerf Kurogane’s BAMF

the feather isn’t hidden behind a wall, they need the pure hearts of children?

Kyle was a way lazier villain 

Filler #1 - Lightning Jazz Hands:

Alright, that looked neat as hell, I’ll admit. My compliments end here.

Story: nosy little shits got themselves cursed. Gonna fight in a competition to win a Big Magic. Is the Big Magic a feather? Stay tuned! (It’s not, because then the girl would die and that would be Too Sad.)

So the people in this country can shoot lightning out of their hands, that would be awesome and possibly scary, but I guess Kurogane is water/ground type because he gets it and only says, and I quote, “it tingles”. So your lightning powers mean nothing, add no stakes, and the Fam can’t do it so what is the point?

This filler is also famous for its KuroFai baiting, which is impressive, seeing as the anime tried very hard to make them Not Gay. I mean it failed but yeah.

Syaoran is the only fighter they have left because Kurogane and Fai are children and Sakura is making friends with the cursed girl. Keefer... Keepha... fights Syaoran, and obviously Syaoran wins because we’re supposed to think this is a feather. They really play it up to, even after we learn the Big Magic isn’t a feather Syaoran still hesitates before handing it over. For dramatics I guess? I don’t know, there’s literally no reason for him to not give it to the needy couple.

Boring filler. Only fun was watching Kurogane get excited over fighting people.

tbc... with Outo

[part 1] [part 2]

[smokingtomas]

snowflake

(akai ito: fear ch. 8)

Ever since that day, Souma never talks about children or the fact that he wants a family of his own. They go through day by day as if that fight never happened. They still challenge each other, tease each other, and love each other all at the same time.

And it only came to her thoughts after he proposed during their trip to Paris.

But what he always does is showing his affection towards children everywhere he sees one. He would ignore Erina for the rest of a party to play with one of the guests' little boy or doing one of those Yukihira charities for that one orphanage in Tokyo he always goes to every Christmas Eve and shower them with toys and his cooking.

And this year, Souma insisted Erina to ditch the Nakiri Group annual Christmas Eve party to come with him to the orphanage.

"I put a ring on your finger and you still don't want to spend Christmas Eve with me? Some fiancee you are, Nakiri."

Of course she detected that sarcasm of his, but she also knew he was serious, so that's how Erina ends up in the middle of this small, dinty dining room, scooping some beef curry to plates after plates for the happy children along with other volunteers.

But this actually doesn't feel bad. At all.

Erina loves how this place (that's always been depressing in her head) brings so much joy to her heart. The squeals of delight and excited frenzy in the multifunction room is even more present once gift wrappers are thrown around the room because of the toys they get from them (Yes, Soma and Erina shopped for the toys themselves). Even a 4-year-old girl keep thanking Erina for the Barbie doll she picked and refuses to let go of her the entire night.

Not even when Souma introduced her as "my friend Erina", and one of the children instantly jumped and yelped, "No, they are engaged! I saw it on the news!".

These kids nowadays.

Though that compassion side of him did come out once again when he read them the classic tale of Nutcracker in the middle of the room. She never thought she'd see this side of Souma, and she welcomes those flowers that are growing in her heart, happily, and there's no denying to it.

"So… what do you think?" Souma asks her by the time they cool down beneath the Christmas tree and most of the children have gone back to their rooms.

"What do you mean?"

"Y'know, it's your first time here. And I know it could probably get too chaotic for you especially during dinner and when they-"

Erina places her hand on his thigh, "I enjoyed it very much, Yukihira. Thank you."

And she means it- she actually thinks this is the best Christmas she's ever had so far. Especially now when Michael Bublé's version of All I Want For Christmas Is You echoes softly through the dimmed room. For some reason, the smile Souma offers says that he knew it all along.

"Well, Chiyo seems to really like you." He refers to the little girl who's been on Erina's tail all night, but is now asleep on her lap.

"Maybe it's the dog Snapchat filter." She shrugs, but never stopping the gentle brushes along the strands of her brown hair.

"No, seriously. You're so good with 'em." He chuckles, "The only time your haughty side doesn't jump out."

"What? I-I don't have a haughty side anymore! What are you talking-"

"Sssshh, you'll wake her up, y'know." Souma whispers, grinning at the same time. "You think I don't know what your cooks have been saying 'bout ya?"

She lowers her voice this time, but still ever so demanding, "W-Well that is a completely different situation! I am running a kitchen, for crying out loud!"

"Geez, Nakiri. Relax. It's not like I'm gonna leave you if you're being haughty again."

"What?! Th-That's not what-"

"Sssh!"

"Hey, do not shush me!"

"Sssh!" Souma does it once again.

"That is seriously annoying, Yukihira!"

"Then don't make me kiss ya in front of all these kids."

Like hell she would. "Hmph, you are seriously infuriating. I'm blaming myself for thinking that it's your high school phase only."

"And yet here you are all set to take me as your husband." He takes a hold of her hand and kisses the Cartier ring gracing her finger, which causes her eyes to roll at his giggle.

It's when he says nothing anymore she really takes in her surrounding. With her head resting on his shoulder, the almost broken heater is starting to take a toll on the chill that's seeping into her cashmere sweater, but strangely, she feels warm.

It may be the sleeping Chiyo and the remaining 4 children in the room that are distracted by their toys and their smiles, or it may be the little Christmas light that twinkles ever so beautifully, or the little specks of snow that decorates the window in such ethereal order.

But she's pretty sure it's the person next to her, when she catches him stealing loving glances at her when she thought his gaze is somewhere else. Souma- he never ceases to bring that blush back to her cheek like it's the first time.

"I-Is something wrong?" She finally asks, lifting her face from his shoulder.

"Nah it's just uh-" He pauses, seemingly having a debate with himself, "I planned to give you your gift tomorrow morning, but here ya go."

Erina receives the small, neatly wrapped package. It's bendable- almost foldable, and it gets her thinking if this thing was on her wishlist she gave him a while ago.

"What is this, Yukihira-kun?"

"Open 'em." He says.

So she tears the paper slowly, trying not to wake Chiyo up in the process. When it's finally free, her mouth hangs open because of what she's holding gently in her hands, and the dots have finally connected on why she hasn't seen this white cloth on him for a few days.

"Y-Yukihira, you cannot give this to me…"

Yes- Yukihira Souma has given her his signature headband. And words cannot describe how she can even cope with the idea.

"Why?" He asks.

"B-Because this means too much to you. I-I mean this once belonged to your mother and I just can't easily-"

"Sure you can, and I want you to have it." He reaches out and rests his hand on hers, and then he offers her one of those looks on his face everytime he talks about his mother. "I'm sure mom would've wanted you to too."

She stares at it again, still mesmerized by the softness and the stories behind it. Even just thinking about it, and now that Souma has given her the only thing he holds onto him closer than life itself, fills her eyes with tears.

"Y'know you don't have to put it on ya the whole time like I did, eh?" He reminds her.

Erina knows he means it since he used to carry it literally everywhere, so it only feels natural when her heart tells her to tie the cloth around her head and tuck the bow under her long, honey blonde hair, just like what she's doing now.

And it feels… fulfilling.

"Is this looking alright for everyday look?"

He eyes the top of her head, trailing down to her chin, then giving her that sheepish smile she cherishes. She knows he didn't expect her reaction with that slight redness on his cheek.

Oh, if only he knew this won't be the last time she'd left him speechless. Why she was missing for a good 30 minutes during their toy shopping trip, or the fact that a sky blue box is already waiting for him on his side of the bed.

And that little baby onesie inside it will be the only thing that speaks to him.

"Merry Christmas, Erina."

"Merry Christmas too, Souma."

A/N: A big thank you to everyone who’s been supporting Akai Ito and this series! You know who y’all are and I love you!

[extrxmegxnius]

[No picture here ‘cuz like... Finding my own FC was literally impossible.]

NAME: Em [here, anyway. I’d only give my actual name in a private setting.] BIRTHDAY: February 3! GENDER: Female ORIENTATION: Heterosexual and nothing else I suppose? AGE: 19 FACECLAIM: I wish I had one, but sadly I do not. I guess my own face will have to do? It’s hard to find characters with hair like mine and an art style I like.

FAVORITE SODA: Rootbeer FAVORITE CANDY: Anything but cheap candy or black licorice... That shouldn’t be candy. That stuff’s gross, especially when salt is added. >_> FAVORITE PIZZA: Veggie! I’m not into meat pizzas. FAVORITE SALAD: Hm... Caesar. With Italian or Greek dressing. Kinda craving one now. FAVORITE MEAL: how dare you ask me this.   I really like beef tips & rice, and I love chicken and dumplings!

BEST MEMORY: So far it was having visited Six Flags Fiesta Texas last year during Christmas. I got to ride all the rides that night, in the dark -- I rode their largest rides at least twice each! And it was so beautiful. They lit a huge Christmas tree with hundreds of lights and other decorations, there was a children’s chorus, the entire park was glittering with snow motifs and lights... It felt magical, and looking from high above on the Scream (it’s basically a tower that pulls you up and DROPS you after what I found to be a set amount of time), I was completely mesmerized. I’ll never forget that experience. BEST FRIEND ( S ): I have three! A friend here in the states going to college, who I’ll call C, a Romanian friend in university, and a guy I’ve known basically forever.

BEST RELATIVE:  Probably all of my immediate family + my grandparents. Everyone else in my family can fukk right off. BEST PET: Can’t choose! I have too many! I love them all. BEST CELEBRITY: I’m usually not into celebrities, buuuut... PROBABLY SEBASTIAN STAN. Or he used to be, anyway, but he’s the first person I thought of.

ONE RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOU: I’m an acrylic painter! ONE RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOUR DAY: I’ve only been awake for 2 hours or so now, so I guess that’s good enough. ONE RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOUR JOB/SCHOOL: No job. Finished school. Life has not started. *dies* ONE RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW: I don’t watch TV much, but when I did, it was Vikings. ONE RANDOM FACT YOU WAS A FACT BUT IT ISN’T: ?????

Tagged by: @mellohael

Tagging: Whoever wants to fill this out I suppose? Just say I sent you. :p

[doublenuzlocke]

Entry #1: An eye for an eye

   CRYSTAL

It’s like she’d just swallowed liquid mercury. She’s choking, she’s drowning, dread tight as a snake around her throat. Her blood turns ice cold, cold as the voice resonating in the air. Kotone sends her a distressed look, a silent plea for help.

But unlike a solid meal or a torn-off shirt, her cousin can’t save her from the Hunger Games.

(Can she ?)

Rocket grunts come to seize the scared child (so small, so young) and she can’t, she can’t accept this, she can’t , she won’t, no, not Kotone, no, no, NO

She shoves Gold’s hand off her shoulder, refusing to meet his eyes.

(An eye for an eye)

(Her life my betrayal)

 When her shout escapes her throat, silence falls heavy as her death sentence.

“ I volunteer ! ”

***                                                 

To be fair, she manages quite well the first few days.  She doesn’t starve, thanks to years of feeding her family ; she hides well, thanks to years of hanging out with Gold.

Sadly, no one is safe from pure, dumb bad luck.

Her ears are still ringing from the explosion ; her entire body is agony. Next to her, lays the burned body of a less fortunate tribute.

Fuck. Fuck !

Everything. Hurts. Breathing. Moving. She wants… she wants out. Time out. Just five minutes.

But she can’t, of course ; she already sees movement coming from her right, and she has to leave, even if she has to crawl for it.

Come on. Come on ! Get up !

A shadow is hovering over her, ready to put an end to her pitiful struggle.

No. NO. She. She doesn’t want to die.

She wants to live.

(Something buried deep, deep in her bones, an old flame of power, stirs.)

Her hit draws blood off the other tribute’s leg.

The man jumps back with a pained yelp. He immediately gazes at her hand, looking for the knife.

There is no knife.

And that is no hand.

(An eye for an eye)

(My humanity for my survival)

***

She’s going insane.

Her body keeps changing, growing fur one hour and distorting her limbs the next. She’s a shapeshifting monster, stuck between a human and a beast. The only constant between the transformations is the burning feeling in her chest, and this isn’t exactly a comforting thing.

Literally the only reason she hasn’t lost her mind yet is because she keeps thinking, what would Gold do ?

(Go with the flow, of course. The boy could accidentally summon a demon he’d still find a way to be happy about it.)

***

She doesn’t immediately realize that something is wrong.

(Then again, none of the remaining tributes do.)

The first hint is the lack of cannon shot that night. But she, like all the others, assume simply that nobody died that day.

On the second night, she grows antsy. No death for two days in a row ? Something terrible is bound to happen. What will the Capitol throw at her ? Monsters ? Toxic gas ? She tries to remember what happened during the previous Hunger Games, theorizes what is the most likely to come in. It only terrifies her more.

On the third day, a tribute finds her.

His throat is torn open.

Crystal slams his head against the ground and runs.

Only when her vision blurs, only when her breaths seem to kill her lungs, only then does she stop. Her legs slip under her and she passes out.

When she wakes up, two things hit her :

-She must have ran really, really fast

-She’s out of the arena

   SILVER

One might think that the son of President Giovanni wouldn’t be so good at surviving the apocalypse.

Well, one would be wrong. Living in a paranoid household with a kleptomaniac hobo as your best friend does teach you some useful things.

When he hears screaming outside, he knows to check what it is about with a mean of defending himself.

When he sees swarms of dead people walking in the streets, he knows to loot anything that might be useful in the future on his way.

When his father calls desperately for his help, a zombie at his throat, Silver knows to save himself and abandon him.

At least, that’s something his father taught him right.

(An eye for an eye)

(Your life my life)

***

When he meets Crystal, there’s blood dripping off his face, and her teeth are too big to fit in her mouth.

His first reflex is to reach for his bat, because even if she’s obviously alive, there is no way that girl is human; her huge body hunched forward reminds him of a persian who would have learned to walk; the light glowing through her shirt around her chest and stomach have gives him chills running down your spine ; and her face is one of nightmare, long ears pointed and glowing eyes staring right at him.

“ Are you hurt ?! ”

The concern in her voice is so genuine he doesn’t know what to do.

“ Uhm. No ? Not my blood. ” He answers dumbly, because what else can you do when a two meters tall beef mountain act more concerned about you than your father ever has ?

“ Oh. Good. ” Is that relief ? He’s not sure. For all he knows, he could be delusional and hallucinating the whole conversation. “Hey would you happen to know how to go to district twelve from here ?”

***

They stick together, after that. At first out of necessity ; it’s safer to stay together, after all. Then, because they come to genuinely like each others.

“How does this” he asks one day, gesturing at the fur piercing her arms “even happen ? Like where is it even from.”

Crystal shrugs. “I have a few theories, but nothing certain. The only thing I can tell you for sure is that it seems to be tied to my emotions. When I’m really angry, or scared, or distressed, I shift.”

Interesting, in a creepy way. What could be the origin of that ?

“Maybe one of my ancestors was really close to his arcanine ?”

Wow. Okay. No. Thank you for the mental image, Crystal.

She laughs, though, and he can’t help but do to, because when the world turns upside down you need to find joy wherever you can.

“Doesn’t it bother you, though ?” he asks when he can breath again.

“ At first, yeah. ” Once again, she shrugs.  " I choked a child to death for the amusement of the Capitol. I don’t really feel human anymore. “

***

It starts as any other days would have. Crystal gets back human teeth and human legs, and grows a mane down her spine instead. Silver sharpens his axes and add scissors to his bat with duck tape.

And then they meet him.

Silver is ready to ax him to death, as usual. Rotting flesh and missing eye are kind of dead giveaways that their owner is a zombie.

But Crystal, in a very un-Crystal fashion, freezes, eyes wide as plates.

” Gold ? “ her voice is faint, like a prayer.

But more surprisingly, the zombie’s head snap in her direction, and he speaks.

” Crystal ? “

   GOLD

Gold doesn’t remember much. That is, almost nothing.

What he does remember, is an unhealthy hate for the Capitol (whatever that is) and that he really, really loves Crystal.

It goes back though, slowly, a little more every weeks. Laughter, in the trees. Hunting together. Dreaming of escaping the district. Reading together-

Reading

He chokes on air when the swarm of memories come back. It’s messy, and fuzzy, but he, he, he remembers, he

” You volunteered. “ He doesn’t mean for it to sound accusatory.

” That I did. “ Her tone is defiant. ’ Fight me, ’ it implies. ’ I don’t regret a thing. ’

” We used to read. Together. “ Crystal seems puzzled, but he’s too busy trying to get a grasp of the memories before they leave. ” I- I remembered something. Something in your books. After you were reaped, I read your books, about the legends, and the myths, and I knew nobody would follow me there- “

” Gold, you’re not making any sense. “

He takes a deep breathe. In. Out. In.

Out.

” I don’t remember what I was looking for in your books, but I found it. I went to Mount Silver because of it. And whatever it was, it’s linked to all of this. “

***

The travel up Mt Silver is… really, really long. Especially so that unlike himself, who can’t feel temperatures anymore, or Crystal, who constantly has a raging inferno in her belly and occasionally some bonus thick fur, Silver doesn’t handle well the cold. Thankfully, cuddles usually help. But still.

Eventually, they do manage to reach the top.

What they find up there takes their breath away.

Silver sees a giant hole in the sky, badly stitched back together. Crystal sees wooden doors sealed by golden chains.

Gold sees himself.

” What are those ? “

” The doors to the other side. “ Maybe his mirrored self is speaking. Maybe it’s him. Maybe it doesn’t matter.

” … like in that children’s book ? About Ho-oh ? “

Precisely.

” If they’re closed, no wonder we have zombies everywhere. Why are they though ? “

Oh, he knows.

He wishes he didn’t.

” It’s me. I’m holding them closed. My soul is holding them closed. “ 

(An eye for an eye)

(Her life for my betrayal)

“I was angry. I was sad.” he tries to explains himself, even if can’t excuse his own actions “I wanted you to not die. I wanted all of it to stop, the Reaping, the Hunger Games, the districts, the Capitol.”

“So I forced it all to stop. ”

***

A tribute, the son of the president, and a forgettable district boy walk over the roof of the world.

It sounds like the beginning of a joke.

This is how this story ends.

Most people will say, later, that the zombies just dropped dead without warning. Fewer people, who happened to be near the frontier between what will later become Kanto and Johto, will describe a flash of light on top of the mountain, and the most impressive avalanche ever witnessed.

Time will pass. Society will build itself again, a little fairer, a little stronger. Things will change. The story of the dreaded Hunger Games, the hated Capitol, the infamous zombie apocalypse, will be lost to the crushing jaws of time.

Nobody will recover the three bodies beneath the snow.

(An eye for an eye)

(Peace for our lives)

[ratthewrodent]

"We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone."- ReaganWhen I heard this quote, I knew my calling was to help others. In fact, I loved helping others. Thus, I always knew I wanted to be a doctor because of this desire to help people. Coincidentally, both my parents were doctors (surgeons to be specific), so while I was always financially stable, my heart went out to those who were less fortunate. They needed my help. They needed me. And I was willing to answer to their calls of pain and sorrow.I was always skilled in science and subsequently, science became my passion. I knew from the bottom of my heart, being a doctor was my only goal in life because medicine was the combination of both my true passions: helping others and science.On the evening of Christmas, when the snow was the puffiest and the air smelled like fresh grilled Picanha (Premium Brazilian Beef), I had a nightmare. Only it wasn't a dream. It was real life. My mother slipped on the marble staircase of our mansion, as her scream echoed throughout the multiple bedrooms. I could even hear it from the 5th floor. I rushed down to the scene and saw her twisted ankle and the shattered bottle of Egon Muller Scharzhofberger Riesling Trockenbeerenauslese. I wanted to help her but I couldn't. I could only be present with her and sob gently, reminding her that I'm here. I felt so helpless. This ignited in me an even larger desire to become a doctor so that I can help others in times of need, unlike my past self.By the act of divine intervention, our Audi R8 was fast enough to get her to the ER in a matter of minutes. Nurses transferred her to a gurney. I was trembling in fear as I clutched tightly onto my Gucci leather bag, the one my mother bought me when I was 12, fearing that this might be the last remaining reminder of her if she didn't make it. Then it happened. I could not believe that a savior, an angel, a literal god, was a simple looking stubby man. But something about his aura was alluring. His white coat, his glasses, his callused hands. Who would have thought that we lived on earth with gods who can heal with their very own hands? I recall vividly the doctor introducing himself as Dr. Kervesowicz-Tusr III, as he calmly explained to my mom that her ankle will be just fine. His soothing voice and ability to explain to my mom that she was going to be okay convinced me that I belonged in the medical field. He provided her with anti-inflammatory medications, like a god passing judgment. We were healed. And I was mesmerized. This is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. My utter fear and desperation, my fall into a deep, dark abyss of emotions and devastation, was immediately halted by this terrestrial miracle worker, and I knew that I had to taste this sweet power for myself. However, my pain during this experience could not compare to that of the children living on the outskirts of Wakanda.They were hungry, lonely, and sick. Yet the children were so thankful for everything and smiled. I recall assisting in surgeries and stitches for many children. This became one of my most significant clinical experiences, as it let me be a doctor, unlike in America where I could only push wheelchairs. The delight in the children's voices when they ran up to me was so satisfying. But this wasn't about me. It was about them and the fact that I was able to fix them! It was an amazing feeling and I wish to continue this in the future.Apart from this amazing experience, I also tutored students, conducted research at university, and played the cello for a band in rural Russia. These experiences taught me the value of service, compassion, sympathy, teamwork, dedication, leadership, organization, humility, confidence, integrity, empathy, accountability, courage, communication, and perseverance. Thus, I would make a great medical student.I always knew I wanted to be a doctor, but didn't know I wanted to be one this badly. I believe it's because my passion is so immense, similar to my immense love for helping the sick and needy. I vow to continue to practice in compassionate, ethical, and skilled medical extracurriculars to further develop my skills as a future pediatric/geriatric neuro-pulmonary- cardiothoracic trauma surgeon. Furthermore, I will utilize the respect I get with the MD on my name to further influence my community on how to better their health. In conclusion, this is why I want to be a doctor. via /r/premed