#sniffer adventures

[gemini-queen42]

Sorry I haven't been active at all this weekend has been busy but yesterday me and my friends FINALLY did our secret santa and-

Im not kidding the reaction is NOT exaggerated I did scream and curl up like that.

He is even UGLIER under the paper cover (as seen below) , it is oddly squar-ish cut for a novel, and it is IN MY FUCKING HOUSE.

I will never know peace again. I read the prologue its insane why is CIRCE HERE???? HELLO?????

Do yall want me to like. Liveblog reading this thing?? Or whatever the term is. Yknow.

[diavolos-secret-blog]

How are fart & sniffer doing

I am not disclosing information about my babies to a mere "Anonymous".

You think you're so clever, giving yourself this name, shrouding yourself in thick, tinted mist of mystery... But I know you for who you are.

A coward.

A pawn, with no sense of direction. Much like that icon you identify yourself as, neither black, nor white - lost, on the checkerboard, without so much as starting the game.

One such as you has no choice other than to choose whether to stand WITH or AGAINST the Emperor.

They have nappy time.

[eye-of-the-purricane]

Sleaford Mods - Nudge It

Live From Nottz Arena ft. Amy Taylor If the legends are true, the first ever Sleaford Mods gig took place at a cafe near Nottingham Station in 2007. An apt place for Jason Williamson and Andrew Fearn to start their journey – one that has taken them around the world physically, to new places sonically and through the strangest times lyrically – but they have never lost their connection with home. Hence late in 2021 a "guy shouting and a bloke with a laptop" staged one of the first big post pandemic gigs at the Nottingham Arena. It was a night to celebrate and a night for old friends, but also a time to aim for new horizons and start a new chapter. Documenting how far one of Britain's most original bands have come, while revealing Williamson and Fearn straining forward creatively, these recordings also demonstrate what Sleaford Mods do better than anyone else: they make a connection. Whether it is a cafe or an arena, Sleaford Mods engage and entertain and this EP captures the duo's biggest and best live performance... so far. Listen to Live From Nottz Arena here: https://ffm.to/modslivefromnottzarena New album ‘UK GRIM’ out 10 March 23 via Rough Trade Records. https://sleafordmods.ffm.to/ukgrim

[nightly-valkyrie]

Is this a safe space?

i love how signalis storches are so fucked up that everyone who draws them has a different interpretations of what they look like cuz honestly how does this all work together

[emperor-kumquat]

My COMPLETE Ripclaw design for Transformers: Mercy (a Transformers Prime choose your own adventure story for YouTube).

The Prowl png is for size reference and was not made by me, but by ROAR (a past artist of the project). Misfire was created by Mynametia! Predacons with the most stunning, bright colours are venomous. Ripclaw's tail with a retractable needle can cause temporary paralysis to those she stabs. On top of that, Ripclaw is a difficult Predacon to fight because of her many spikes. Other Predacons may just stab themselves trying to fight this cactus of a Predacon! Her long red wings are great for gliding, so flight is easier for her compared to her brethren with metal feathers. It is the same fabric-like substance as Predaking and can stretch and shrink in transformation.

Ripclaw has large yellow nostrils and is the best sniffer of all Predacons in Mercy. This makes her a stellar police officer! Personality-wise, Ripclaw has a strong sense of justice. If Ripclaw feels wronged, she will react strongly. If given positive morals early on, she becomes a fierce defender of the law and protects all. If taught violent ways, she will lash out at the world and only protect other Predacons. She can be cheeky and playful, and is overall a passionate individual. She shares Predaking's values on the importance of preserving Predaconkind whereas Skylynx and Darksteel aren't as concerned about the fate of their species.

This design is based on Ripclaw's Transformers Prime toy and what we saw in Predacons Rising

[sandcobangevent]

Unforgettable

by @keirgreeneyes and @tiredmilkshake

Chapter 1

“Seriously, I can’t believe my luck. We go off, have these adventures, meet celebrities and then get to share it all with people through the podcast—and he makes the most amazing dinners after we’re all done!”

“This is Sherlock Holmes you’re talking about? The same Sherlock I introduced you to?” 

“Yes, Mike. The very same. I mean, he doesn’t cook immediately. Usually he collapses for–oh, once it seemed like 24 hours, though he might have gotten up while I was sleeping at some point.”

“And you’re saying he cooks? That’s the bit that’s surprising to me. I mean, I thought he had a thing about pasta.”

“I mean, we do have pasta every so often. But like, he made this fantastic sauce with capers the other day.”

“That’s...surprising, yeah. Well, I guess maybe he’s changed a mite.”

“What’s that mean?” 

“He didn’t used to, in uni, that’s all.”

“Well, everyone changes, don’t they?” 

“I’m not sure Sherlock Holmes does.” 

“Is that a crack about his autism?” 

“No, no, I’m not criticizing him. Just, he’s unique and always has been.”

“Yeah, unique and pretty amazing, I’d say.” 

“Agreed. You two are good for each other.”

“Some people might even say we have a rapport.” 

“He really does seem happier now, actually. So, yeah, he does seem different.” 

“Right. Well, Mariana just texted me that there’s a mess of chicken parmesan a certain unique detective and chef made that is waiting for me back at Baker Street, so I think I’ll say cheers and catch you later.” 

“Have a good night, Watson, and tell Holmes hello for me.” 

“Will do.” 

Chapter 2

“Watson, what’s that smell?”

“Why are you asking me, mate? You’re the one with the sensitive honker. Shall I go back to the flat for Archie? I wonder if he’d be an excellent sniffer dog, you know, like those dogs that work for a living? I mean, he’s no German Shepherd, wouldn’t really be much good at roughing up the bad un’s. But he does like to give things a sniff or two. And a slobber. Yeah, well, I guess he might be good at a crime scene if we needed somebody all glommed up with snot and saliva.”

“Watson—that’s utter nonsense. Crime scene dogs require keen senses and are given intensive training. Archie’s much better at what he’s good at: giving someone’s leg a good time at the park.”

“Hey—he did that one time, and no one ever lets up—”

“As I was saying, something smells different, about your person. What is it?”

“Oh, well, we were talking about making that mushroom and camembert frittata, and I happened to see a nice thing of camembert at a shop and so I thought I’d just pick it up and..”

“Well, its scent is so strong I think that even Archie would be distracted by it if he was here, much less a genuine detection dog.”

“What am I supposed to do with it, then?”

“I don’t know, but please take it out of here. Perhaps Inspector Lestrade can put it in her car.”

“Oh, no, Holmes, you’re not stinking up my squad car with that smelly old cheese.”

“Right, well, if no one wants me and my smelly old, delicious cheese around, I’ll just take us outside and let you do your detecting on your own.”

“What’s that, Watson? Wait, wait, there’s something here we’ve been missing…”

“So, do you want me to go, or should I linger here with my great smelliness messing up your investigation?”

“Wait–Stop!! Fire, fire!!”

(Screams break out, there is the sound of gunfire and breaking glass.)

Chapter 3

“Sherlock, it’s alright, mate, we caught him.” 

“Yes, well, after he’d wounded two police constables, destroyed significant amounts of evidence with that fire, and all this from a hidden place within the very crime scene that we had been investigating. And we caught him all thanks to you, by the way. Timely use of that disgustingly reeking round of cheese you had on hand to distract him while I tackled him. Good job, Watson.” 

“Well, cheers, mate. Wasn’t exactly what I was planning, but I’ll take the praise. I still can’t figure why he did come out. He had a doozy of a hiding place all set up, what with that false wall and cozy little room he’d set up for himself.” 

“That’s just it, Watson. When we entered the galleria, my immediate impression was that there was something wrong about it. The dimensions. But I didn’t follow through on my deductions. And look how much devastation has occurred.”

“Sherlock, mate, go easy on yourself. You couldn’t know he’d go all batty hearing us talk about sniffer dogs. I mean, turns out he’s phobic about pooches? You can’t predict this kind of thing. We all have our things, and there’s no reason why anyone, even you, should be able to pull a guess about something like that out of the air.” 

“No, Watson, that’s just not true. And I never ‘just pull something out of the air.’ The signs were there. The thefts had commenced after the renovation project was completed. And even the canine connection should have been apparent to me—the owner of the art gallery has a pair of identical toy poodles, and the disappearances of these priceless minature pieces never happened on days when the dogs had been on site.” 

“Toy poodles, miniature sculptures, she does really have something about tiny things, doesn’t she?” 

“It was part of her aesthetic, Watson. Along with her charitable philosophy, all the proceeds went to provide building funds for tiny houses for people without permanent dwellings. Now her gallery is in a shambles, the work of established and budding artists in this field who had been featured there, destroyed. And all because I lost sight of what I’d immediately grasped when I entered the space. But I was distracted and forgot to follow up on it, John. It’s just unbelievable. I forgot. ”

“Hey, hey, it happens to all of us, Sherlock. You may be amazing and brilliant, and often what seems like miraculous, but you’re also quite human. But whoa. I might need a moment here, I think that’s the first time you’ve ever said my given name. Wait. Sherlock? Where are you going?”

Chapter 4

“Thanks for going through this mail, John. I’ve taken care of the bills, but there’s so much of this kind of thing” (sound of papers thwacking down on a counter) “and I can’t tell if it’s just junk or if there are some legitimate inquiries in there.”

“No problem, Mariana. They’re so sneaky with their envelopes these days, those spammers. And there’s no podcast to edit right now, so I’ve nothing better to do.”

“Any change in Sherlock?” 

“No.” (Heavy sigh.) “It’s been the same since that case. He’s shut himself up in his room and won’t talk. At first he was at least playing his violin, screeching away at it all night. But now that he’s stopped that, I’m even missing that. At least I knew he was alive in there.” 

“I’m sure he’ll snap out of it, eventually. I mean, hasn’t he before?”

…

“John?”

“I wouldn’t know actually.” 

“You’ve never seen him go through this?” 

“Well, you met him at just about the same time that I did, so your guess is as good as mine.” 

“Oh, that’s right! You two are so close, I forget that sometimes. You seem to have always been together.” 

“I can tell you, it did not feel like that right away. First couple of nights in the flat with him, I was afraid I’d become a murderer myself.” 

“Then he could have come back and cracked the case!” (laughter) “He would have liked that.” 

“Yes, I expect he would, at that. If anyone could come back from the dead and solve his own murder, it would definitely be Sherlock Holmes.” 

“Well, what can we do to help him cheer up? Maybe we’ll find a nice juicy mystery in here and that will get him feeling better.” 

“Maybe. But I already sent him a few leads from the email account, and he just told me to delete them all.” 

“That sounds pretty bad.”

“I know. I’m pulling my hair out. I wish I knew what would make him feel better.” 

“What about what he does to show his appreciation for us?” 

“You mean cook him something? I couldn’t, he’s like a world class chef.” 

“No, he’s really not.” 

“What do you mean?”

“He’s been teaching himself to cook.” 

“There’s no way—wait, why do you say so?” 

“Who pays the bills around here? I’d noticed that there were certain charges happening frequently, paid to a Youtuber who runs private courses on cooking.”

“On the company card?”

“Yes, but neither of you had said anything about it, or sent me receipts.” 

“And we both know how important those receipts are!” 

“Yes, I think I made myself very clear on that after you two took that client out to rollerskate sushi and came back with absolutely nothing by way of documentation.” 

“Yeah, I think I’m still paying off that outrageously expensive saki we drank out of little warmers on the harness they gave me. But it was so very good.” 

“Huh. Perhaps it’s a good thing that you lost those particular receipts.  Anyway, I asked Sherlock if he knew anything about it. He refused to tell me anything, just issued me a repayment and said I shouldn’t worry, there wouldn’t be any more charges. It was all sorted out, so I never ended up mentioning it to you. But did he tell you anything about it, John?”

“He never breathed a word about this to me.”

“I was worried it was some kind of scam he’d been caught in, that he was embarrassed to admit about.”

“Yeah, I can imagine that he would be pretty quiet about something like that. Should we be worried that he’s got some kind of gambling issue?”

“No. Not at all.” 

“So you did figure out what it was?” 

“I did.” 

“Did a little detecting of your own?” 

“Indeed.”

“How did you get it out of him?” 

“I had noticed that the charges were paid at about the same time each week.” 

“So you spied on him!?” 

“No, no, I wouldn’t want to invade his privacy.” 

“He bloody well does mine all the time. Do you know, he sat in the loo for fifteen whole minutes while I was in there, quiet as a mouse in the shower stall, while I’m shaving, clipping my toenails, taking a wee, moisturizing, have a nice little chat with myself…”

“Wait, moisturizing? John, I had no idea you had a beauty routine.” 

“It’s not a beauty routine. It’s just good for my pores. It’s self-care.” 

“That’s very wise of you, John.” 

“Oh sod off.” 

“What did Sherlock do?” 

“Well, he startled me half to death he did. I was just giving myself a little pep talk in the mirror, reminding myself that everyone starts somewhere. Einstein didn’t pop off about E=MC² first thing. He had to do a bit of maths, a bit of calculus, a bit of physics first. And I was sure to get better at this whole podcast thing as time went on.” 

“So, how did he startle you?” 

“Oh, right. He hears me saying that and comes out with ‘You’re quite right, Watson. Even Einstein was a beginner once.” Of course, then he tells me how Einstein taught himself maths and physics, earned a PhD at the age of 26 while publishing four ground breaking papers in those fields. ‘But Watson,’ he says ‘he’d failed an entrance exam once and had to struggle on, so don’t give up.’” 

“He’s just trying to help.” 

“Right, I know. And the funny thing is, it did help.” 

“Even if he scared you to death?” 

“Yeah, I think he was just there because he wanted the company. After I calmed down, I didn’t mind, actually.” 

“See, you are close.” 

“Well, if we were, wouldn’t I know how to cheer him up?” 

“You’ve got to start somewhere.” 

“Yeah, if only I knew what made him happy.” 

“Oh! That was the whole point of my story. Sherlock was teaching himself to cook. For us.” 

“Wait, so the Youtuber—”

“Correct, they were private classes on cooking.” 

“Oh, wow. Now I really want to help him out of this.” 

“Right.” 

“Okay. Well, I have heard something recently that may help.” 

“What?” 

“An old acquaintance of his said he had a thing for pasta.” 

“Like, the penne he keeps asking for?” 

“He’s been asking for penne?.”

“Yup. He texts me when he knows I’m going to shop or put an order in. Penne and tomato sauce. That’s all he’s asked for…” 

“Since that case. Okay, well. If he can learn to cook for us, I can learn to cook for him.” 

“Do you think you need to take a class to cook pasta?”

“To make the best pasta ever tasted? Yes, absolutely.” 

(Laughter) “You think you’re going to be able to make the best pasta ever?” 

“Yes, because he deserves it.” 

“Well, perhaps we can count this as a work expense, since it is meant to help him be able to get back to working again. Just–”

“I know, send you the receipts.” 

“Bingo!” 

Chapter 5

“Watson?” 

“Yes, Sherlock.” 

“What is that?” 

“That, mate, is a plate of my very special beef crumble and mushroom lasagna. I used wine to sauté those mushrooms, just like you did with that risotto you made two weeks ago–”

“And you want me to eat this?” 

“Well, I didn’t put it on your plate because I want you to throw it at me. What do you think?”

“Are you being serious, Watson?” 

“Yeah. Should I not be?” 

 “Well, I regret to inform you that I am unable to comply.” 

“You’re not hungry then?” 

“No, no, I am quite famished.” 

“Then, what is it? I thought you liked pasta?” 

“You thought I liked pasta?”

“Yeah. I also rather thought you didn’t like repeating yourself?”

“I was repeating what you said, Watson. I never said I liked pasta.” 

“Well, all you’ve been eating is that penne stuff lately, and I heard you did like it, so–” 

“Who exactly did you hear that from?”

“Stamford. Said something about you liking it back at uni.” 

“You’ve been digging into my history at university?” 

“Whoa—wait a mo’ there, that sounds way more sneaky and spy-y than what happened. We were talking about you—” 

“Oh, you were talking about me, and my eating habits when I was a student? I hope you feel enlightened now.” 

(Sounds of a chair pulling back, then cabinets being opened, water running, and a pot being settled on the hob.) 

“Sherlock… I’ve done something to upset you, haven’t I?” 

“Please, Watson, I am quite hungry, as I said. Thank you for your gesture, but I’ll be quite fine with my penne." (Sounds of a fridge door opening.) Wait, where’s the jar of tomato sauce I had in the fridge?” 

“Ummm, well, I sort of used it in the lasagna.” 

“Did you use it or not? It appears to have vanished.” 

“Yeh, it’s gone.” 

(Sounds of a chair being pulled out and Sherlock sinking back into it.)

“How about butter? I always love a bit of salt and butter on my pasta when I’m not feeling quite the thing.” 

“I suppose that will be acceptable.” 

“No, wait.” (Sounds of footsteps and a coat being grabbled.) “I’ll just pop down to Tesco and get a couple more jars of the sauce.” 

“Really, Watson, there’s no reason–”

“There really is. I wanted to make something special for you and all I did was end up ruining your dinner. It’s easy as pie to make it right. Just let me, okay?” 

“Well… I will enjoy the dish much more if there is sauce. Just the plain, however.” 

“No mushrooms? Peppers? Spicy red pepper with paprika?”

“Watson, I was feeling grateful but now you’re becoming tedious.” 

“Gotcha. Plain tomato sauce coming up.” 

(Sounds of feet running down stairs, followed by a door opening and being slammed shut in the distance.) 

(Sounds of fingers drumming on a table. A chair is pulled back, a lid removed from a pot and replaced. A long suffering sigh.)

(Sounds of a voice humming. Water starts to bubble.)

“At last!” 

(Sounds of jumping up from a chair. Pasta shakes in a box, and cardboard is torn open. The sounds of pasta being poured into a pot of water, just as a door is thrown open in the distance, slamming into a wall.)

“What is going on?!” (Mariana’s voice sounds distantly, coming up from the front hall of 221 Baker Street.) 

“Oh, sorry Mariana. Can’t talk.” (John’s voice is closer, as though he’s made it up a few stairs.)

“Is there a case?” 

“No, no, something much more important. Dinner!” 

(Sound of Mariana sighing.) “Dinner? You had me worried, John.” 

“Can’t chat, water boiling. ‘Ta.” 

(The sounds of feet clattering up the stairs sound, and then rapid breaths, a bit wheezy.) 

“Got ‘em! Here you are, mate. (A gasping breath ) Fresh from the Tesc. I believe these are from 2024. A very good vintage, if I do say so myself.” 

“Watson, you are being ridiculous. There is no particular advantage to having tomatoes packaged in this year over any other. The processing of the sauce makes it highly homogenized. One batch will taste much like any other.” 

“Yes, but if it came from last year, or the year before, it might well be off, so you’d likely not want to eat it, yes?” 

“Perhaps. But all this talking isn’t going to get me fed anytime soon.” 

“Oh, sorry, ‘course. Here we go, let me just—” (Sound of a pan clattering.)

“Please—let me. If you don’t mind. I just want to heat my sauce and eat in peace.” 

“Sure thing. Yeah. Well. Maybe I’ll just see if Mariana wants to eat some of this lasagna.” 

“Excellent idea.” 

“Well, alright then. I guess I’ll just go.” 

“Mm-hm.” 

(Sounds of Sherlock humming as John’s footsteps recede.) 

Chapter 6

“John! This is sooo delicious. Is that white wine I’m tasting?” 

“Yeah. Yup. ‘Tis. The mushrooms.” 

“Mmmm…. Thank you. This is really quite good. I wouldn’t have expected—” 

“No, guess you wouldn’t. I really put my back into it.” 

“That class really paid off.”

“Hmph. Yeah.” 

“Well, you don’t seem very happy with it. Aren’t you going to eat some?”

“I dunno. My heart’s not really in it anymore.” 

“Because Sherlock rejected it?” 

“He didn’t— It’s not that Sherlock rejected me—” 

“Whoa–whoa–whoa. I didn’t say he rejected you.” 

“The thing. The pasta. He didn’t..,well, I suppose he did reject the lasagna. But I thought he liked it!” 

“What exactly was it that Stamford said?” 

“Something like he had a thing for pasta at uni.” 

“That’s pretty vague really. There are a lot of types of pasta. Why did you think he would like this dish?”

“It’s all fancy. Like he’s been making for us. I figured he was down about the case, and not up to cooking something big. So, I thought I’d do it for him.”

“And, at any time, did you actually ask Sherlock what he wanted?”

“...” 

“I take that is a ‘no’?”

“Erm—” (Whistles.) “Correct. I did not ask him what he wanted.” 

“He’s been pretty clear. He wants tomato pasta. Penne.” 

“But this is clearly so much better.” 

“To who, John? To you?” 

“...” 

“Go talk to him.” 

“He just threw me out of the kitchen. I doubt he wants to talk to me right now.” 

“Was he angry about it?” 

“A little bit.” 

“Then all the more reason to talk. Maybe you need to apologize, maybe not. Find out.” 

(A big sigh.) 

Chapter 8

Summary:

John and Sherlock talk, and peace prevails.

Chapter Text

“Hello Watson! I’m feeling much better. Did you and Mariana enjoy the lasagna?” 

“Yeah. I’m glad to hear that. We did. And I’m sorry—” 

“What for?” 

“For...assuming you’d want the lasagna.” 

“That was odd.” 

“Are you still upset that Stamford and I talked about you?” 

“No, not really. I am a bit surprised.” 

“It was nothing bad. Honestly, I wasn’t trying to get some kind of intel about you.” 

“Well if you had been, Stamford wouldn’t be a terribly useful informant. You might try Victor next time. Or my brother. He’s well informed about most things and could detail quite a bit of my likes and dislikes from those years. Although, I’m not sure how useful any of that information would be to you, truly.” 

“No, Sherlock. I’ll not be asking Victor, or your brother. If I want to know what you were like at uni I’ll ask you.” 

“Hm. Well, I might prefer it if you do ask one of them. Not the best memories of that time.” 

“Oh. Was it…hard for you?” 

“Well, I didn’t graduate, and I had only one friend, and I never talk about it unless forced to do so. So that might tell you something.” 

“Jeez. Oof. Sorry, mate. I didn’t realize how bad it was.” 

“It was rather stressful.” 

“Oh! Is that why the pasta?” 

“Watson, that question makes no sense. There is not really a why relating to pasta. There might be a when, or a how. But why doesn’t make much sense for such a generic food stuff.” 

“No, I don’t mean all pasta. I mean your pasta. I take it you ate penne a lot in uni. And you’re doing it now again?” 

“Mm. Well, I did go through a phase where the tubetti lisci was my preference, but I’ve come to feel penne is superior once again.” 

“Is this something that makes you feel better when you’re out of sorts?” 

“Ye–Perhaps. It doesn’t exactly cheer me up. It’s more that it’s dependable.” 

“Because it’s always the same?” 

“Because it’s straightforward. There’s no surprises in it. I know I like the taste, and the texture, and I know that each bite I’ll have will be 100% what I want.” 

“No squishy mushrooms. No odd little nuggets of something.” 

(An unhappy grunt.) “Do we really need to talk about those things. I just had a very satisfying dinner.” 

“Oh, I’ll stop. ‘Course. But, so when you made those dishes for Mariana and me, was that just because you thought we’d like them?”

“No. Well, I did make them because you had indicated you liked those particular meals, but I chose the ones to make you’d both talked about that were also appealing to me. It’s a lot of effort to cook something like that, I’d like to enjoy it as well.” 

“I’m quite glad about that. I would have been sad if you’d been making it just because we wanted it but you hated the thing. I misunderstood, and thought that was the way you liked to eat, but were, maybe too depressed to have energy to cook it.” 

“I haven’t had energy to do that kind of cooking. I’m not depressed about the case.” 

“You’re not? You’ve been moping about, and turning down cases. Looks like depression to me.” 

“I’m considering.” 

“Considering, if you want to continue?” 

“More considering how I can avoid that kind of issue again.” 

“Mate, ya’ can’t.” 

“Well, that’s very reassuring.” 

(A half-bitten off laugh.) “I’m sorry. I’m not saying you’re a failure. I’m saying you’re human.” 

“But I’ve never had that kind of error creep in before.” 

“Never?” 

“Well, perhaps not never…” 

“You will be tired. You will be hungry. You will be sick. You will miss something.” 

“Unlikely.” 

(Chuckling.) “Once or twice. Here or there. You’ve said I’ve helped you out now and then, what’s that if not maybe not having it all 100% in your noggin.” 

“But I have your help now. And Mariana’s.” 

“And we’re extremely human as well.” 

“Oh, I know. Watson, you do realize that you snore, don’t you? You might wish to take your naps up in your bedroom.” 

“Thanks for that. I never got complaints in the barracks.” 

“That is because everyone snores or something, and in that situation there is no real remedy, so what do you expect?”

“We’re getting off track here. This is not about my sleeping patterns.”

“But you will nap in your room?” 

“Sure, fine. Whatever. But are you feeling depressed?”

“Perhaps.” 

“Well, I’d like to help. Somehow.” 

(Sherlock takes a deep breath and releases it with a sigh.)

“You are, Watson.” 

“By making you lasagna that disgusts you so much I can’t even talk about it and making you think that I’m spying on you by chatting to your old friends?”

“Nooot really either of those things. But you are here. And you tried to do something nice. That is greatly appreciated.” 

“Glad to. On both counts.” 

“And you are dependable.” 

(A chuckle.) “Like your next bite of manky pasta?” 

“It’s not manky. You’re not gross.”

“I’m simple then? Like a tubal li-whatever you called it?” 

“Tubetti lisci. No. You’re much more like a penne. Smooth, durable, but with a bit of a nice point at each end. A little bit of texture, a little bit of bite. And you take the sauce so well.” 

“I have no idea what any of this all means. Is that good?” 

“Excellent, Watson. You may not have the complexity of something like your lasagna there, but I always know what I am getting, and I always know that I will like the next bite.” 

“Aw, thanks.” 

“And I am very glad you made the lasagna.”

“Even though it made you want to sick up?”

“It didn’t.” 

“Admit it, it did a bit.”

“A bit.” 

“But you’re still glad?”

“Well, you and Mariana enjoyed it, didn’t you?”

“Yes. We really did. Well, she did. I wasn’t really feeling it. My appetite was a bit off after making you so cranky.” 

“Are you feeling better now?” 

“I am. And I am feeling a bit more hungry.” 

“Then why don’t you heat some up. I’m thinking I may have a second helping of my pasta and it might be...nice to eat with you, too.” 

“One re-heated plate of lasagna coming up.”

“It’s nice that even though I am not feeling up to doing something for you both, I can still enjoy seeing you have something you like to eat.” 

“Is that why you did it?”

“Well, of course. I didn’t cook things you didn’t like to watch you get sick on them.” 

“No, I mean you wanted to see us like the food. And even if you didn’t make it, it still makes you happy.” 

“Why did you want to make the lasagna for me, Watson?”

“Ah. Yeah. Same reason. See you happy. Right.” 

“Right.”

“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” 

“Why are we talking about geese now?”

“Forget it.” 

“I’d rather not forget something else presently.” 

“Oh. Sorry, wrong turn of phrase. Suppose it might be nice to forget about the case though. Or uni.” 

“Unlikely.”

“At least you won’t forget me, or Mariana anytime soon.” 

“That is true, Watson. I find you both, rather unforgettable.” 

“Cheers. Want me to heat that up for you, too?”

“Please.” 

______

Check it out on AO3 too!

[kozykricket]

i think honestly mojang is in a cycle where they're CREATING people who are unsatisfied. when you keep adding extrinsic rewards and jingling shiny keys for people to go collect, then its like. yes those are fun! but they run out. especially when its just one or two really really well developed and thought out shiny thing every year. gonna be real if you want to go for Shiny Shiny Stuff, then you gotta go for quantity over quality in some way tbh. because ...people have become accustomed to new shiny things to collect, but then that leaves them feeling unsatisfied that there isnt MORE its like, the sniffer but on a larger scale; the sniffer having only two plants makes people disappointed that there isnt like, 15 different plants from it. the expectation is "oo yesi love this i want more!!" but if it had none in the first place, then. okay. people wouldn't have the disappointment of lack of plants they wouldnt be asking for more plants

and likewise, i dont think people would be asking for more cool things to seek out and find in minecraft, if they werent being given little bits of new adventures to go on with new shiny rewards it realistically started all the way back in 1.11 when the focus became more on exploration, but the jingling of keys began in .. hm. 1.16 or 1.17, probably. 1.16 is an exception because the nether was a nothingburger beforehand, tbh. and it doesnt leave much of the nether feeling lacking because... well, the dimension is MOSTLY covered in new stuff! by proxy of originally being nothing! but the overworld already has tons of stuff, and . being given more stuff... just. mm i cant word things correctly but. more new places to go with new things (sherds, echo shards, now resin) is like. that just makes you wish for more. and its insatiable to keep that up forever minecraft is becoming a halfbaked terraria, in terms of adding more extrinsic goals

can the game succeed past this? yeah

but i think its in an extremely awkward state of being right now

[bloop-im-a-frog-now]

Sniffer Adventure and Pets

Pearl checked her inventory one last time.

“Sword, pickaxe, shovel, brush, golden carrots,” she hummed to herself. “Maybe I should bring a shield. Juuust in case.”

Once she crafted her shield, she beamed to herself and went out the door, the rumbles of the warden head vibrating her feet. She flew off and was ready to explore those warm ocean ruins.

She couldn’t get the two rarest flowers without some sniffers sniffing the seeds for her.

Tango had told her to head South, where most Hermits haven’t touched any warm ocean ruins. Most have gone North and West, where they could also get the mangrove wood and be left alone while grinding resources.

She threw a rocket to the ground, flying off as she held her Post Office cap on her head during the journey. Pearl didn’t want it to fly off and forever be lost. She loved the hat.

The first warm ocean she encountered didn’t have a lot of suspicious sand. Still, she brushed it, uncovering the mysterious items buried deep in it, like she was discovering fossils.

The first one ended up being a stick, an item very unnecessary for Pearl at the moment.

“What a shame,” she muttered to herself.

She brushed another suspicious sand block, muttering to herself “Sniffer egg, sniffer egg, sniffer egg” like a prayer that would be granted. Instead, she found an emerald.

“Aw man,” Pearl pouted. “I don’t even have a villager hall.”

She was hoping to use other Hermits’ villager hall this season. She kept the emerald for good measure.

“Maybe if I find gravel instead of sand?” She asked herself.

Right beside her was suspicious gravel, and she grinned.

“You cannot escape Pearl’s brush, you little gravel.”

She brushed it carefully, and saw something red being dug out.

She gasped. “Is this it? Did I finally found one?”

The more she uncovered, the more she realized it was a pottery shard. She let out a frustrated groan.

“I feel like I’m gonna find a lot of these pottery shards.”

And how she wished she was wrong. After visiting one-too many ocean ruins (it was more like two, but flying around to find them was worst than finding the mangrove forest), Pearl was almost ready to give up on this region of the world. She looked at the last suspicious sand and glanced back at her brush.

“One last try. C’mon Pearlie, just one last time. This time, it’ll be a sniffer egg. I can feel it in my bones.”

Despite her pep talk, she did not feel confident about the loot in the suspicious sand. Every centimetres she uncovered, her breath stuck in her throat, as if she’d be disappointed by what the sand would unravel.

She saw red, and inhaled loudly in the bubble column she used for breathing — a fatal flaw in her preparations was to bring water breathing potions. She closed one eye, as if the disappointment would be less grand if she didn’t fully witness it.

It could be another pottery shard, or it could be a smithing template. Pearl played on loop the mantra “sniffer egg, sniffer egg, sniffer egg” in her head, brushing like every mistake would cost her her life.

God she hoped it was a sniffer egg.

Suddenly, she saw green spots on the object, and she let out a squeal of joy. She brushed the rest of the sand away and admired the wonderful egg in the palms of her hands.

“What a beauty,” she whispered.

She slowly caressed it with her index finger, cooing at it.

“You’re gonna look amazing, and you’re gonna dig out sooo many flowers for me, and you’re gonna help me make money. Oh, it’s gonna be wonderful!”

The egg did not reply, but Pearl didn’t need a response. She gently tucked it in her inventory, swimming up to the surface until a huge realization struck her.

She needed two eggs to have more than one sniffer.

She groaned. “Damn you breeding mechanics.”

And thus, the search for a second sniffer egg began, much quicker than the first one. She didn’t listen to Tango’s advice and immediately went West, where there was a warm ocean biome that would surely have an ancient ruin in it.

When she spotted one, she flew immediately down, and gasped in excitement when she saw suspicious gravel and sand.

Her luck would definitely turn around this time.

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon,” she whispered to herself as she brushed a suspicious gravel.

It gave her a pottery shard.

She inhaled sharply. “It’s fine, that’s okay, I can — there’s more! Just — brush these, it’s gonna be okay, you’ll find a sniffer egg. Yeah,” she nodded to herself, “the next one’ll be it.”

She had guessed correctly. She rolled on the ball of her feet in joy and took the sniffer egg in her hand, gently petting it.

“You’re gonna be amazing in my farm,” she whispered to it encouragingly.

It didn’t respond. Pearl didn’t really care, she swimmed to the surface and flew to her base as fast as she could.

She wanted to see those sniffers hatch, after all.

Pearl almost face-planted to her roof with how fast she was going. She threw open the door to the sniffer room, a nice bamboo and sand colour with green grass surrounding it. She took out the first egg from her inventory, and carefully placed it on the ground, making sure it wouldn’t fall and break once Pearl let go of it.

It was standing proud in her base, a nice splash of colour in a room that blended into itself. She hummed in satisfaction and placed her fists on her hips.

“Yeah, that'll do,” she smiled. “Now, time for little guy number two!”

She bit her lower lip as the egg touched the ground, hands so gentle with it, as if it was a block she needed to put at the perfect spot for it to fit with the rest of her build. She couldn’t afford to break it, those eggs were so hard to find, and she needed those flowers so badly.

She made sure the egg was balanced on its own before taking her hands off of it. She beamed when the two eggs stood proudly on their own in the green house.

“You guys will be adorable, I can already tell. Now,” she went towards her door, “I’ll go fix some redstone while you two hatch. Be good.”

She looked at them sternly when she said it and left the room to go downstairs, where her redstone was. The Hermit hummed as she thought. Etho suggested she put a player’s head on the noteblock to not hear the farm or the allays activating it.

She slammed her fist against the palm of her hand.

“Time to search for a player's head,” she declared.

As she went to do that, the sniffers in the egg slowly squirmed in place, getting warmed up to hatch. The cracks were already there when she came up to the farm, where her sniffers would dig out the flowers for her shop.

“You guys are already hatching!” She exclaimed, a wide smile on her face. “Wait up, I wanna see you out of your shell, don’t you dare do anything.”

She changed the head she already had on the noteblock only for a small snort to echo in the room. Pearl swivelled around and cooed at the sight.

“You guys are so cute,” there was only one sniffer hatched, cleaning itself from the juices of the egg.

The second one hatched right under Pearl’s eyes, and she gasped in surprise.

“Down right adorable,” she cooed again, and slowly approached the sniffer who had finished cleaning itself. “Hey there little guy,” she greeted, and scratched the top of its head.

It snorted and shook its head like it had water splashed on it. Pearl chuckled and scratched underneath its chin. Immediately, it fell on its stomach, eyes closed and let the Hermit pet it.

“Oh, you’re so adorable. You like Pearl’s scratches? Yes you do, oh you big guy.”

The second bumped its head against Pearl’s shoulder, making doe eyes at her, pleading for something. She laughed and scratched right between its ears.

“Aw, you felt left out?”

The sniffer fell right beside her, caging her between the two of them. She laughed and continued her pets, appreciating this last moment she’ll probably ever spend with her sniffers.

“You guys are so big for babies. Can’t wait for the money you’re gonna make for me.”

The sniffers simply snorted and let themselves be petted by the Hermit. This sniffer farm will be better than her last one, Pearl just knew it.

[radiant-dragoon]

The Volcano on their back remains dormant until greatly threatened. Their otherwise peaceful nature and habit for sniffing out ancient and buried treasures makes them wonderful companions for adventure. A sniffer Camerupt concept I came up with! I have been playing a lot of Cobblemon lately ^^

I just think he's cute

[gemini-queen42]

tmw awhile back u and ur friends made pinterest boards of each other and yourselves and you still add to yours everytime you're in a Mood and.

girl.

girlllllll

902??? 902????

lads this is absurd

[diavolos-secret-blog]

BOTTLE IT AND SELL IT‼️‼️

YOUD MAKE MORE MONEY THAN YOU EVER DID IN THE MAFIA‼️‼️

This bears far to many risks to even consider. Breast milk contains too much genetic material, not to mention the potential fingerprints-... Realistically, this gives me nothing, too.

No power.

No superiority to anyone.

Zero. Zilch. Nada.

And I'm not stealing milk from my babies! They need it to grow big and strong!

[eye-of-the-purricane]

Amyl and the Sniffers - Some Mutts (Can't Be Muzzled)

[lesmisscraper]

Adventures of the Letter U delivered over to Conjectures. Aka, Marius the Handkerchief Sniffer. Volume 3, Book 6, Chapter 3.

Clips from <Il cuore di Cosette>.

[ali-anne-undertale-stoof]

And here's the second half!

First half

Chapter 16: Once Every Sentry

Grillby's was about as warm and welcoming as Papyrus remembered. At the same time, the smell of grease still lingered, but that's to be expected in a restaurant. Papyrus only wished he thought to bring his sniffer cloth.

As soon as the brothers stepped in, there was only a two second gap between their entrance and the sound of a bark directed at them.

"Hey, it's the brothers!"

"(Come sit with us!)"

Just like last time, Papyrus stilled at the amount of coolness he had been presented with. Sans was right. He is with the Royal Guard now, despite not actually being one yet. After a brief moment of realisation, he took Sans by the hand and rushed over, pulling the laid-back skeleton behind him.

"whoa! heh. excited, much?" Sans jokingly protested as they sat at the Royal Guards' table. It was like they were being accepted into the popular group. A dream come true for Papyrus!

"(Aww, tell us about it! Tell me, what have you two been up to lately?)" The Dogi leaned in, almost in sync. If they weren't married, then one could assume they were twins, in a stereotypical sense.

"W-WELL, I'M SURE YOU HAVE HEARD THAT I'M A SENTRY NOW!!!" Okay, okay, showing off to make yourself look better. Okay, Papyrus. "AND I'M REALLY GREAT AT IT!!! I MEAN, YES, IT'S MY FIRST DAY, BUT I THINK..."

"Bork!"

Papyrus' head whipped round to see both Lesser and Greater Dog sitting at the table. Lesser sat next to Sans, passing out cards to herself... and only herself. All the while, Sans peered over curiously to see what she was doing. Skeletons and dog monsters didn't get along so well in ancient times, Papyrus knew that. Dogs were natural predators to beings made out of bones. Of course, there's no animosity between the two species nowadays, but still, Papyrus couldn't help but feel those old, more feral instincts kick in whenever he saw his brother get a little too close to the large dog.

"WHOA WHOA!!!"

"Hey, shh..." Dogamy put up a hand to placate him. "It's okay. Lesser's pretty calm, she won't hurt a fly."

Papyrus felt himself blush at the description. So he was running away for nothing? "O-OH. UM... OKAY! SORRY, THEN!"

How was he ever going to befriend the Royal Guard at this rate?

Meanwhile, Sans quickly found himself zoning out during the conversation. Focus was rough when there's a billion little sounds flying into his skull all at once. At least the sounds were pleasant. That's only one reason why Sans loves Grillby's so much. The crackling of Grillby's fire, the sizzling burgers on the grill, the quiet conversations happening around him, the music... What was Papyrus saying? What were the dogs saying? It didn't matter right now. They weren't focused on him anyway. This whole trip was for Papyrus' sake, after all.

In his absent-minded state, Sans turned to Lesser Dog and found nothing but fluff. Huh. How much work did she have to do to maintain her fluffiness, he wondered? Would she mind if he just...

Trying to be subtle enough so she wouldn't notice, he gently brushed his cheek against the softness of Lesser's fur. Wow, now that WAS soft. Maybe he could put his finger to it? His hand? Both of them?

Now, that got her to notice.

Registering the pets, Lesser Dog's neck began to extend as her tail wagged in delight. The reaction briefly surprised Sans, but it didn't knock him out of his dissociation. Not completely, anyway. But even in his stimulated state, one coherent thought entered Sans' mind.

that was so cool.

"SO HOW DOES ONE PLACATE A DOG MONSTER WHILE YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE AMAZING PUZZLES?"

The confused to-be Royal Guard slammed his fist on the table for emphasis, not frustration.

"(Well, sticks usually do the trick.)"

"Sticks do the trick for all of us, honey."

"(Yes, it's a guilty pleasure of mine.)"

Sticks, huh? Sticks for tricks...

"We also really enjoy the feeling of being pet. It's one of the most amazing things in the whole world."

And THAT, everyone, was what clicked inside Papyrus.

"YOU LIKE BEING PET TOO?!?!" He slammed both hands on the table and stood up enthusiastically. "OH MY GOD!!! I TOO LOVE BEING PET!!!! PETS ARE SUCH AN AMAZING SOURCE OF COMFORT, IT'S JUST... WELL... PETS!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!!!! PETS!!!!!!!!"

Doggo, who had been quiet this entire time, was startled out of his bored state, and immediately started barking. "What?! Pet?! PET! PAT! PET! POT! PAT! PET! POT! PET! PET! PAT!"

Startled by the sudden barks that this dog was releasing, Papyrus quickly turned to check on his emotional support brother to see if they needed to switch the roles. Sans' hearing holes were always super sensitive, after all. Why he didn't bring his ear defenders to Grillby's was beyond Papyrus' comprehension.

Instead, he found Sans frantically petting Lesser Dog's ever expanding giraffe neck at, ironically, the speed of sound. He didn't get it. Was it self-soothing, was it distractibility? A little dumbfounded, Papyrus' eye sockets followed the neck, only to find that it's not only bent at an awkward 90° angle when it hit the ceiling, but it's also on a few of the other tables, on the floor, and stopped on top of the bar. But it didn't mean that it wasn't ever expanding the longer Sans pet Lesser.

Now that has GOT to be a health and safety violation. And the other dogs agreed as Lesser's neck continued expanding, all the way to the other tables, and coming up to their table in turn.

"Wait, Sans! Stop!" One customer called out. And more were sure to follow.

"STOP STOP STOP STOP!"

"Lesser, get out of my chair!"

"Sans, stop petting Lesser!!!"

"Somebody stop him!"

"Is he even listening?!"

It was the combined shouts of all the Royal Guards and Papyrus' quick act of grabbing Sans' wrists and pulling him away, as well as Lesser's head coming into view just in front of Sans, that finally got him to-

"STOP!!!!"

The previously absent skeleton finally jolted out of his overstimulated headspace, only to find out that his pets caused Lesser's neck to literally go... everywhere. What was this? A jungle?

"...shoot."

"SANS!!! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!!!"

"Bork!"

Realising what his actions did, Sans sank into his chair and started laughing. Maybe if he sunk in his chair enough, it would swallow him up and he wouldn't have to live with the shame.

Oh, and of course Grillby had to come over. With the bill.

"...just put it on my tab."

--------

"i'm sorry."

"YOU'RE SORRY? THAT WAS A DISASTER, SANS!!!"

"i'm sorry."

"I MEAN, WHY WOULD YOU PET A DOG WITH AN ABILITY LIKE THAT INSIDE A RESTAURANT?!?!"

"i'm an animal lover, i can't help myself."

"UGH..."

The twins strolled on their patrol in the cold in the... other word that rhymes with stroll and patrol. Eh, even cold was a bit of a stretch, to be fair. It didn't take their cold stroll very long to take them to a different sentry station up the road, anyhow. And the one running it was one of the dogs from earlier, taking a dog treat in the one way one should never take a dog treat.

Papyrus eyed the smoker thoughtfully. "HMM... WELL, I DID GET ONE THING FROM THAT EXPERIENCE. OUR COWORKERS ARE QUITE NICE."

"yeah? well, let's go say hi."

"YES!!!" And there he went!

"wait, careful, pap. doggo has a disorder. he can't see-"

Nope nope nope, too late! Papyrus was always coming up behind Doggo. And in true Papyrus fashion, he popped up loudly and suddenly.

"HI!!!"

Doggo's immediate reaction was calm and collected.

"BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! DANGER DANGER BARK BARK WOOF BARK BARK BARK BARK!"

So... loud...

And Sans was gone.

"SANS!!! WAIT!!!" Papyrus frantically called out after his fleeing brother. "WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!?!"

About a mile or so away did Sans stop running and practically collapse on the ground, wheezing and spluttering as Papyrus caught up to him.

"SANS, WHAT WAS THAT?" Papyrus wasn't angry at the whole ordeal, far from it. Inside, he knew that it was his fault Sans ran away. If he hadn't been so overeager... Wait, no! Don't focus on that! He needed to help his brother, not waste away in self-pity!

Speaking of his brother, Sans was... really exaggerating this, gosh.

He barely wheezed out a sentence. "hhhh... hhhh... i can't run that much, bro. hhhh..."

"OH, SHUSH, SANS! YOU TALK LIKE I'M THE ONE WHO FORCED YOU TO RUN!"

He supposed in a way, he did.

"sorry about that... hhh... hhh..."

"NO, IT'S FINE! I'M SORRY FOR TRIGGERING THAT! WHAT WAS THAT, ANYWAY?"

Sans wheezed out yet another sentence. "doggo can't... see things that aren't moving... hhh... hhh..."

Huh. Is that so? Then that means...

"SANS, DON'T YOU GET IT??? THAT MEANS I HAVE A CHANCE!!! IF UNDYNE IS WILLING TO HIRE SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY LIKE THAT, THEN I CAN BE A ROYAL GUARD TOO!!! OH, THIS IS AMAZING!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!"

Sans miraculously recovered out of confusion and shock. "what?"

"AHH, YOU'RE BETTER!!! NOW, LET'S GO GET TO KNOW THE OTHER SENTRIES!!!"

"hm. nah. i'm still incapacitated."

"OH MY GOD, SANS, YOU'RE FINE! GET UP!"

"nope. still dying."

That smug look on his face said otherwise. Fine. If that was how he was going to play. Papyrus took Sans by the ankle and dragged him along like one of those holiday bags.

"wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

What were they called again? Suitcases?

"wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

They had a handle and go on wheels.

"wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

You see them all the time at airports.

"wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

Wait, what's an airport?

Papyrus stopped in his tracks when he saw a sign planted into the ground. It was situated right next to a giant snowball and a floor of ice. Two sentry stations sat on the other side. So, what did the sign say?

Warning: Dog Marriage.

Terrifying.

"what's so scary about a dog marriage?"

It's called sarcasm- Never mind.

"WELL, JUST IMAGINE IT!!! TWO DOGS ARE MARRIED, WHICH MEANS DOUBLE THE DOGGY TROUBLE!!!"

"and double the doggy dung."

"SANS!!!"

"what? it's true."

"UGH, AT LEAST ANTHROPOMORPHIC DOGS ARE MORE SOPHISTICATED THAN A CERTAIN DOG I KNOW!" With that sentence, Papyrus whipped his head around so fast, he snapped his neck. But that didn't affect him at all as he stared directly into a suspicious-looking bush. The little white dog that was hiding in there silently wondered how Papyrus was instantly able to find it, and slunk back into the bushes.

"COME TO THINK OF IT, AREN'T THEY SUPPOSED TO BE AT THEIR STATION?! PFFT, THEY'RE JUST AS BAD AS YOU."

"hey, don't sweat it, bro. i'm sure they're nearby. we just gotta sniff 'em out."

"YES, LIKE DOGS DO!!! THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA, BROTHER!!!" Dropping Sans' ankle, Papyrus got on all fours and started simultaneously sniffing and crawling around on the snowy ground until somehow, he got a 'scent'. Once he did, he stiffened up, pointing his non-existent nose in the exact direction of the bush between the sentry stations with a SPROING!!!

"AHA!!! FOLLOW MY LEAD, SANS!!! BARK BARK!!! BARK BARK!!! BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!!!" With the energy of a golden retriever, Papyrus dashed on all fours in a circle before finally galloping to his destination.

Sans groaned, silently lamenting the fact that he's gonna have to WALK now. Reluctantly, he got off the comfortable snow and followed his golden retriever brother as he flipped and somersaulted like he just entered some kind of ninja-acrobat tournament.

With one final frontflip-backflip-triple-combo-supreme, Papyrus landed on his own two feet and sprinted towards the bush, and opened it like he just found his friend in hide-and-seek.

"AHA!!!"

Papyrus confident smile shifted into a surprised expression as he saw the Dogi passionately making out in the bushes. On duty. In their uniforms. And they looked just as surprised as Papyrus was.

With a gasp, Papyrus' eyes began to sparkle.

"AWW, THAT'S SO CUTE!!!"

And of course, Sans wasn't far behind him. "aww, that's disgusting."

Dogaressa shot up first, surprised, not embarrassed. "(What are you two doing?)"

Papyrus remained oblivious as ever. "OH, WE JUST WANTED TO GET TO KNOW OUR VERY COOL COWORKERS!!! AND PERHAPS SEE YOUR COOL AND AWESOME PUZZLES?"

Sans blinked. Puzzles? When did that come up? Of course, Papyrus is OBSESSED with puzzles. He couldn't help but smile fondly.

Dogamy stood up and chuckled. "Well, you're in luck. We have one just close by. Follow us."

It took all the puzzle lover's willpower to not squeal in front of the Royal Guard. What could he do? Flap his hands? Stomp his feet? Yes yes. He did that. Run after them because they're walking away and he had to follow them? Yep, yep, Papyrus was on that.

The brief chase quickly came to a halt when he saw his brother and the Dogi standing over a large ice rink, right next to a snowball.

"SO, WHERE'S THE PUZZLE?"

Dogamy chuckled. "This is the puzzle, Papyrus."

"WAIT, WHAT?" Papyrus gazed suspiciously at the ice rink. Surely they're joking. Surely THIS wasn't the puzzle they were talking about. Where's the spikes? Where's the flames?! Well, Papyrus didn't have any flames with his puzzle, but at least he had something to stop the human with! This is just a game!

As Dogaressa was setting up the snowball for Sans, Papyrus decided to speak up about the puzzle.

"WELL, FORGIVE ME IF I COME OFF AS A LITTLE RUDE, BUT AREN'T PUZZLES SUPPOSED TO HALT HUMANS? HOW IS THIS GOING TO STOP ANYONE?"

"(We'll demonstrate. Go ahead, Sans.)" Dogaressa pat Sans' back before stepping out of the way.

"sure thing."

One step, two step, three- SPLAT!

The slippered skeleton slipped slippingly on the slippery ice sliperringingingly. Due to the impact of the fall, the snowball was practically snow-mush. A squeaky creak (or was it a creaky squeak?) emitted from the dastardly ice as Sans slowly, slowly slid across it, flat on his face.

And he didn't move.

"SANS!!!" The worried skeleton instinctively stepped forward to get a better look at Sans' condition.

Welp. Sans shall live in the ice now.

"hehehehehehehehehehe..."

Now everything was crystal clear... or, well, ice clear. This game... It was a trap. A devious puzzle hidden under the guise of an innocent golf game. Yes... Papyrus understood now.

"INCREDIBLE!!! YOU DEVIOUS DOGS!!! YOU MUTTLEY MASTERMINDS!!! YOU PUZZLING POOCHES!!! YOU TOOK AN INNOCENT GAME AND TURNED IT ON ITS HEAD!!! YOU TRULY ARE WORTHY OF BEING ROYAL GUARDS!!!"

The married couple snickered and wheezed to themselves, covering their snoots so Papyrus couldn't hear their snorts.

"IT'S REMARKABLE..." Papyrus steeled himself and huffed. "YOU HAVE EARNED MY RESPECT, DOGI!" Little did they know, they earned his respect long ago. "BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YOU ARE TALKING TO A TRUE PUZZLE MASTER!!!"

"more like puzzle nerd."

"SHUT UP, SANS!!! I'M TRYING TO MAKE A DRAMATIC SPEECH!!! GO BACK TO BEING A DUMMY!!!"

Sans did just that.

"I CAN BEAT YOUR PUZZLE, NO PROBLEM!!! AND I CAN PROVE IT TO YOU!!! PASS ME THE BALL!!!"

Smiling, the Dogi gave Papyrus a tennis ball that was... covered in dog drool.

"WHAT THE?! EW, NO!!!" Freaked out, Papyrus tossed the ball into the bushes. "I MEANT A SNOWBALL!!!"

"Oh, right!"

"(Our bad, Papyrus.)"

Wagging their tails, panting, and kissing each other constantly, the Dogi set up an extra large snowball for Papyrus.

"THANK YOU!!! NOW... WATCH THE GREAT PAPYRUS IN ALL HIS GLORY AS HE COMPLETES THE PUZZLE IN LESS THAN FIFTEEN SECONDS!!! AAAAAAND GO!!!"

Papyrus propelled himself on his feet as he skid around Sans, rolling the snowball with one hand.

The puzzle had minimal obstacles. A tight space, a patch of snow... It was easy peasy!

At the 10 second mark, Papyrus could see the goal in sight!

"I'M GONNA MAKE IT!!!" Papyrus beamed brightly! It was right there! He should make it under five seconds!!!

But alas...

"Bork bork!" A certain little white dog had returned to ruin his day, with the very ball the skeleton had thrown not too long ago.

"YOU!!!!" Unprepared, Papyrus proceeded to trip over the dog, just short of the goal. He slid across the ice with a squeaky squeak, or was it a creaky creak? "CURSES!!!!"

To add insult to injury, the ball just missed the goal.

Now, in usual circumstances, Papyrus would get up immediately and start chasing the dog for its insolence. But considering the fact that the Royal Guard were right there, who were also dogs, and he humiliated himself in front of them?

Yeah. Papyrus shall live in ice now.

And of course, Dogaressa was practically howling with laughter.

"(Oh goodness, you two are too silly! Here, let me show you how it's done.)"

Of course! If anyone could finish this puzzle, it was the creators!

And of paws, Dogaressa's attempt went a lot better than the brothers'.

Dogamy howled in support of his darling. "You got this, honey bun sugar plum!"

"(Never call me that again.)"

"I'll take your fleas for you!"

"(Okay, you can call me that!)"

"Bork bork!"

"(Wait, is that my ball?)"

And that, dear audience, is where Dogaressa's finest hour came to a sharp end.

"(WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF-)"

Squeak! Crash!

Having a heavy, armoured Royal Guard dog on top of him wasn't in Papyrus' plans, but he supposed he could fit it into his schedule. If only he could get Sans to access his... Wait, was he sleeping?!?!

At least one thing came out of this.

A chiptune jingle played as the insolent pup nudged Papyrus' snowball into the goal. A cyan flag slowly raised before the bone-and-dog pile, its attempt at assuring them backfiring into mockery.

And to top it all off, Sans was still giggling at the whole thing.

Yup. This was a disaster.

--------

"you did great, bro."

"YOU REALLY THINK SO?"

"yeah, you got further than me."

"THAT DOESN'T SAY MUCH, SANS."

"yeah, but out of everyone, you got the closest to your goal. if that dog didn't come, you would've done it."

"I KNOW! THAT STUPID DOG!!!"

"hey, take it easy. no need to be so ruff on yourself."

"...SANS."

"come on, you're smiling."

"NO, I'M NOT!!!"

"you are! come on, you can't hide it from me."

"SANS, I SWEAR TO THE DELTA RUNE, DON'T DO THAT!!!"

"come on, where's my happy papy?"

"SANS, NO!!!"

"wheeeeere's my happy papy?"

"SAHAHAHAHAHANS!!!!"

Just the exchange the brothers needed after a game of humiliation and denial of triumph. Papyrus didn't want Sans to know that he was cheering him up. Unspoken brotherly law. But the light tickles Sans was giving his spine made it super difficult for him to stay grumpy.

"SAHAHAHANS! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WOHORKING!!!" With that, Papyrus gently pushed his mischievous brother to the snowy ground. "STOP IT!!!"

Sans was too amused to care about being knocked down. "looks like i found him."

A reluctant smile slipped onto the taller skeleton's face. Emotional support brother, indeed.

It's been a while since they were able to have this. This was it. The reason why Papyrus set Sans up to be on the same job as him. And judging by Sans' behaviour, it was a good decision on his part. Just one more victory for the Great Papyrus!

Unfortunately, the moment was interrupted by a strong stench. A strong, cheesy, meaty stench that overwhelmed Papyrus' senses and sent him into a coughing, spluttering fit.

"EUGH!!! SA-*COUGH COUGH COUGH* WHAT IS THA-*COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH*" Papyrus fell to his knees as tears welled up in his eye sockets. Spotting the signs of an instant shutdown, Sans rushed to Papyrus and grabbed his scarf. He gently pressed the scarf against his suffering brothers' nasal cavity, all the while he resisted his own overwhelming urge to protect himself from the stench.

"hey, it's okay. it's okay, bro. hold me."

Still coughing a little, Papyrus placed one arm under Sans' femurs and lifted him off the ground. Given their height difference, it made it much easier for Sans to block Papyrus' ever so sensitive nasal cavity while his brother recovered.

"cheese, that's bad."

With a final cough, Papyrus quickly recovered. "I'D LIKE TO MEAT THIS DISGUSTING PUPETRATOR!!!"

"okay, just keep holding onto me. we'll figure out the sauce."

The worst smelling sauce stench the brothers had ever known. And they were going in together, as they always would.

Using Sans' not-as-sensitive sniffer, the brothers followed the stench to a stench-try station. Doggo's sentry station. And there he was, puffing up dog treats like a factory pumps out harmful chemicals. Not that anyone in the underground ever had access to that. And these chemicals were only harmful to the soul and Papyrus' senses.

Doggo's back was turned and his eyes were closed, which had set his chances of seeing the twins as very low. Which was perfect, as Sans had a bright idea.

He whispered into Papyrus' hearing hole, "take me to the bell."

And surprisingly, Papyrus was quite quiet. Despite being so close to the source that even the scarf didn't help all that much, he was just as determined as Sans was to make it go away. Sans' hand reached for the bell.

Ding!

Doggo's ears perked up and he dropped the treat, scrambling around as the brothers ducked and hid.

"Who was that?! Where was that?! Who's there?! Are you a human?!" Doggo's head whipped back and forth so frantically it was giving him whiplash.

Behind the nearest tree, the brothers slowly peeked out to watch the dog... To watchdog the watchdog? Anyway, Doggo continued his momentary freak out until he realised that no one was there.

An idea struck Sans as Doggo sighed in relief. As soon as he got back to lighting those stinkbombs they call dog treats...

DING!

"Who?! What?! Where?! Who?! Where?! Where?! Who?! What?!"

Well, Papyrus thought. Lowercasers are notorious for being sneaky.

Covering his mouth and nasal cavity with his scarf, the ball of energy snickered as he watched his brother mess with Doggo. Of course, this only served to encourage Sans even more.

Every time Doggo went back to those treats, Sans had a new way to ring the bell.

With his foot.

With a bone attack.

Even his own nasal cavity.

Unfortunately, there was one setback for Sans...

"BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!!!!"

Papyrus, who quickly sensed his brother's distress, pulled him away from the loud barks and covered his ossicles behind the tree. Now that his nasal cavity had been freed from sensory hell, it was Sans' turn to be pulled out.

"SANS, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!"

Doggo's barks stopped at the sound of Papyrus' voice. A deep breath... A heavy sigh...

"...Skeletons."

"...HELLO."

"...If you ring my bell like that again... I'm going to lose it."

Papyrus nodded sheepishly. "UNDERSTOOD."

"Thank you."

That glint in Sans' eyelights... Oh dear. Papyrus knew what was going to happen.

Papyrus gave Sans a look. SANS, THAT IS NOT AN INVITATION. DON'T DO IT.

Sans gave Papyrus the biggest grin ever. i'm gonna do it.

NOOOO, DON'T YOU DO IT!

c'mon, you know you wanna.

OH, I DO, BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET IN TROUBLE!

when have we ever not gotten in trouble?

Ding!

"Okay, that's enough!"

Suddenly, the world around them began to lose all its colour, and the brothers alongside Doggo felt more pixelated. Oh boy.

"OH, NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!"

"hhhhhhhhhh..."

Papyrus, who was never adverse to a spar or two, knew what this was. He's no stranger to the ENCOUNTER. Sans, on the other hand, was a lot more pacifistic and rarely got into fights. Papyrus knew that. And he could tell Sans was trying to make sense of what was going on. Despite all that, though, Papyrus wasn't worried. Sans is a quick learner, he should get it in about- HOLY MACARONI!!!!!

A giant blue sword flew their way.

"SANS, WATCH OUT!!!"

Acting on instinct, Papyrus dived after his brother and glomped him, holding him close to his chest. What he didn't think about was the fact that Sans was a good dodger and was literally just about to dodge the sword.

"what the? pap, let go!"

"NO, I'M SAVING YOUR LIFE!"

"by pinning me here???"

"YES!!!!"

"oh my god..."

"HOLD ON TIGHT!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

The brothers froze on the spot as the blue sword went straight through them. Absolutely no damage. None. Blue stop signs and all that.

When the twins opened their eye sockets, they could see that the world went back to normal.

"Hmph. That should teach you two."

...

"WAIT, WHAT?!"

"that was it?"

"I can hear you two shaking!"

It was true. It was hard to muffle rattling sounds once they started. And Sans and Papyrus were definitely shaken up from the false alarm. Or could you say they were rattled?

"Y-YEAH... W-WELL... I DIDN'T PRESS THE BELL, SO THERE!"

"It was more of a lesson for your brother than anything. Don't ring my bell unless you really need me."

Sans stared at the bell. From the look in his eyelights, Papyrus could tell. Sans didn't learn a thing.

"SANS, DON'T DO IT."

...

Ding!

Sans only had time to give off one last mischievous grin before Doggo tackled him to the ground.

"NYEH HEH HEH!!! KARMA!!!"

--------

Snowdin Town looked wonderful when the daylights were in the "dusk" process. The way the golden light reflected off the fresh, white snow was a sight to behold. Too bad that most of it was covered in footprints from various residents, including the two skeleton brothers.

One of them proceeded to brag to the other about his upcoming training.

"SO, SINCE I'M OBVIOUSLY A TOP TIER FIGHTER, SHE'S GOING TO GIVE ME TRAINING THAT FOCUSES ON... OTHER ASPECTS OF BEING A ROYAL GUARD."

"what? like first aid?"

"NO."

"law? boring."

"NO!!! COOKING!!!"

"...cooking."

"YES!!! SHE SAID ALL GOOD ROYAL GUARDS NEED TO KNOW HOW TO COOK!"

Something about this felt... off. But then again... "i mean, i guess it's good in case of an emergency."

"EXACTLY!!! THAT'S WHY SHE'S GIVING ME COOKING LESSONS!!! UH, I THINK SO, ANYWAY." Papyrus smiled down proudly at his tiny brother. "SAY, YOU COULD COME ALONG IF YOU LIKE! YOU COULD LEARN HOW TO BAKE WITHOUT USING VINEGAR AS A SUBSTITUTE!"

To Sans, cooking lessons sounded wonderful. But... Would he even have the time for that? Sure, he has a stable job now, but... There's also his shows... and his project. A project he's currently procrastinating on, but it was still very important. And of course, there's the hotdog stand. There's too much of a demand for him not to run it. Three jobs and a project... That didn't leave him much time.

"nah, sorry, bro. i guess i'll have to skip the lessons. too much work."

"...OH.

Sans was no idiot (most of the time) and Papyrus was not good at hiding his emotions. He noticed how his shoulders fell slightly.

Quickly responding, Sans smiled and placed a hand on Papyrus' shoulder. "hey, at least we get to work together now. we can hang out all the time now. doesn't that sound cool?"

Papyrus hummed. Even if Sans didn't come to train with him, having a job together, living together... just being together is more than enough. With that thought, Papy perked up once more.

"YEAH!!! IT SOUNDS AMAZING!!!"

"and i cut back on my little jobs too, so i could read you bedtime stories anytime you want."

Now THAT got Papyrus' eyes sparking! "REALLY?!"

Sans' only response was a chuckle, but that's all Papyrus needed to hear before he glomped him.

"OH, SANS, I'M SO HAPPY I DID THIS!!!"

"...heh." As if on autopilot, Sans wrapped his arms around Papyrus' shoulders tightly. It's as if he could just melt right here, in this spot. If he did, well, he would've melted as the happiest skeleton in the world.

The hug lasted for a while. How long? Ten seconds? Twenty seconds? It didn't matter. Not a single second was awkward, it was all just bliss.

Even when the brothers finally released each other, they still didn't let go. Sans kept his hand on Papyrus' back, and Papyrus kept his on the back of Sans' head. They walked together like this, their house in plain sight.

Just Sans and Papyrus, against the world. It's how it's always been, and how it'll always be.

"me too, papyrus. me too."

[lrportfolio]

TV/FILM/MUSIC/ART Inspiration Collages! All made on Shuffles, using images from users and my own research.

My taste in media varies across everything, I love children’s cartoons, horror movies, angry songs about women in the world, Anime, indie movies, bright art and scratchy sketchbook pages. I love everything and anything, but I do have some favourites.

I love music that tells a story, such as Ethel Cains work, where you can follow a narrative and really feel what the singer is trying to get across. I love artists who use muted and mottled colours, creating a visually moody environment with their work. I love tv shows that start with hope and end in despair and I love films where nothing really happens, just a retelling of normal life.

I think a person takes inspiration from everything in their life and I’m a true believer of that everybody is just a conglomerate of their favourite things, with a personal spin on it. I’m a collage of everything and everybody surrounding me, everything has an influence and takes effect on what I do. With my art, everything I do is intentional, whether it’s using a different brush type, changing colours or adding text and backgrounds. Nothing I do artistically isn’t thought about before it goes onto the page, there’s always a thought process behind minute details.

Image One, MUSIC: Phoebe Bridgers, Paramore, TV girl, Bjork, My Chemical Romance, Kate Bush, Lucy Dacus, Amyl and The Sniffers, Fiona Apple, The Front Bottoms, Modern Baseball, Halsey, Car Seat Headrest, Kimya Dawson, Crywank, Alex G, James Marriott, Ethel Cain, Fall Out Boy, Mitski, Chappell Roan, Boygenius, Weezer, Panic! At The Disco, Tyler, The Creator and Radiohead.

Image Two, ARTISTS: Tatsuki Fujimoto, Hayao Miyazaki, Yoshitomo Nara, Yayoi Kusama, Lid Thom, Grace Toscano, SAIAKUNANA, Bobbie teethmeat (instagram), Rabbits Foot (instagram), Cute Loot Suit, ElevenHaze (instagram), Inika SoupandCats, Libby Frame, Micky CatMunches (instagram), J.E Paeth, Rode Novak, The Angel Incarnate, HeartSl0b (Tumblr), Visrupto (instagram), Niimun (instagram), Diabelmleczny (instagram), Wandering Ghosts (instagram), Nícoly Kadbvceii, Emma HolyEmpresse, Rome Rankck, MEATGIRL (instagram), Keith Technolegital, Angel Eris, Fruitgravy (instagram), Cal Igmaera, 00Madz (instagram), YUBISAKA, Vic Plasticlamb (instagram).

Image Three, FILM: Perfect Blue, Donnie Darko, Scream, Do Revenge, I Saw The TV Glow, Jennifers Body, Gone Girl, Across The Spider-Verse, Into The Spider-Verse, Big Hero Six, Ponyo, The Boy and The Heron, Spirited Away, Dinner In America, Do The Right Thing, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Alien, Aliens, Bones and All, Juno, Brokeback Mountain, Lisa Frankenstein, The Lost Boys, Promising Young Woman, But I’m A Cheerleader, Bodies Bodies Bodies, Bottoms, Submarine, Nimona, Fantastic Mr.Fox, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem, Coraline, Wendell Vs. Wild, Black Swan.

Image Four, TV: Bojack Horseman, Miffy and Friends, Adventure Time, Arcane, Hannibal, Bee and Puppycat, Stranger Things, Killing Eve, Carmilla, Soul Eater, Ouran High School Host Cub, Jujutsu Kaisen, Hello Kitty’s Paradise, Akuma No Riddle, Haikyuu!!, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Heartstopper, The End Of The Fucking World, Delicious in Dungeon, Chainsaw Man.

[montygatorguy]

jumayocois minecraft server thoughts

frankie and may have a little treehouse that’s full of cats and parrots and frankie has a room with all his treasure bc he loves the archeology feature (he has lots of pottery shards and discs)

juliet built a cottage for herself and romeo was living in some little hole in a cave but then he moved into her basement

may built a huge garden with tons of flowers and custom trees with juliet. (and then frankie went and found them a sniffer so they could have the special flowers)

romeos constantly going out adventuring with frankie but romeo always dies in the stupidest ways possible