#snarky stan

[legobiwan]

"First, let's get something out of the way: a human's ability to grasp reality is painfully limited. You don't even have free will! Don't believe me? Okay, rip a dollar in half right now. Didn't do it? Didn't think so!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"PS: Look what I just ripped in half! Suck it!"

~~~~~~~~

I love Stan so, so much for this.

[crimsoncold]

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE IN THE HOTD FANDOM RIGHT now as someone who is disappointed in the show's handling of team green and really just critical the show's writing in general

Team Green Stans and/or HOTD critics:

"I know I'm going to get a barrage of criticism or even hate/harassment for saying this but...

HOTD's writing is rather biased and strays from the source material in ways that are frequently ridiculous, fails to actually improve the story, and totally ignores the anti-war and the general targ/ruling class critical tone of GRRM's writing.

Yes villain or dark character centric shows can be really good even when the purpose of the story isn't to condemn their actions- BUT purposefully changing an adaptation of a story so that it no longer contains the original message/themes that did criticize the characters and their actions is at the very least a questionable writing choice.

The characterization and the messages of the show are inconsistent in a way that doesn't feel intentional or in order to make a point- instead it just doesn't make sense. ALL characters suffer due to the choices of the writers/showrunners- including team black- but team green is obviously getting the worst of it (seriously its cartoonishly bad). It's all so nonsensical and frustrating that it's getting harder and harder to watch- really at this point its no longer even a fun bad! show that can still manage to be entertaining even when the story itself sucks.

Much like with d&d with the later seasons of GOT it's disappointing to see the poor quality of work coming from paid professional writers, this could have been a show about a tragic and dramatic conflict between characters who are mostly bad people yet are still compelling or sympathetic and instead we got ...well...this."

Some Team Black Stans:

"Come on people HoTD is an adaptation so of course things will differ from the books but the show still stays true to the heart of the book, the changes were not a big deal- in fact some were good choices by the showrunners making more disturbing and violent aspects of the book more palatable for the audience without lessening their emotional impact... B&C was toned down not to whitewash team black but because no one should want to see the multiple child homicides from the book take place on screen...and the violence here really isn't as important to the plot as it was for say GOT's red wedding... toning the violent or horrific nature of these deaths down and having it occur off screen is the right thing to do! It's still sad- and this way we didn't need to traumatize the actors OR the audience!

Really people just stop complaining... both sides of the conflict are presented as EQUALLY culpable and in the wrong as the other side, team green stans are just missing the subtle points being made in the show and are exaggerating when they criticize the writing or supposed inconsistent characterization and accuse the showrunner's of being biased.

These TG stans are just being so mean and should stop criticizing the writers/showrunners-who are just doing their job!- and even if they feel they have to criticize the writing it's really just so inappropriate to ever specifically name the writers/showrunners when doing so! It's one thing for fandom to anonymously criticize other fans- especially since TG Stan's takes are so misguided that they obviously need someone to explain to them how they are misinterpreting things- but criticizing the professional writers and showrunners through tumblr posts is out of line! Its not the writer's fault that Alicent and TG are hypocritical or less likable than TB- that may just be how they are in canon- to say that the storytellers are purposefully changing things to make TG less sympathetic or competent than they were in the books and to set them up as the unlikeable antagonistic opposite to the now more tragic and heroic TB is a ridiculous accusation!"

Other Team Black Stans:

"Daemyra is just the best ship, they have loved eachother since she was a teenager and now after years of pining and being kept apart they are finally free to be together, you never see supportive or healthy relationships like this in asoiaf, we stan a man who will do literally anything and kill anyone for his niece wife.

Lucerys was just an innocent baby when he sliced up Aemond's face, he was just protecting his big brother, it only happened because he was afraid for their lives! Viserys made the right choice not to punish anyone since the team black kids only attacked Aemond after he stole Rhaena's dragon and Lucerys was only using self defense when he used a knife on Aemond. Most especially Lucerys and his mother didn't deserve to be attacked by that bitch Alic*nt. And Rheanyra trying to have Aemond tortured for calling her sons bastards was just her being a rightfully protective mother! Team Green means her family harm and no way will a bamf like Rhaenyra let that slide... this is what a good mother does not like that terrible Alic*nt! Lucerys' death was so tragic can't wait to see a grieving mother get her revenge... TG believes in an eye for an eye don't they? Well how will they like a son for a son?

TG stans keep saying that Rhaenyra is just as violent entitled and problematic as anyone else on hotd! They are so wrong! They are just delusional haters that can't stand to see a woman have sexual freedom and be in a position of power! She is the better daughter/wife/mother and the only people she hates are the ones who deserve it!

See she isn't evil like the Hightowers- B&C was an accident and the book description was exaggerated to be used as propaganda against Rhaenyra- she didn't even know it was happening. It wasn't even team blacks intent to kill little Jaehaerys only to kill Aemond- but he's a kinslayer so them sending someone to assassinate their nephew/brother is totally in the right and not something any character in canon would judge them for!... Rhaenyra is just too good of a person to wish harm on any of her innocent family members. Everything that happened to Rhaenyra, Rhaenys, and Meleys is just so tragic... they are the only true queens in this series ...god i wish all of their pain was only experienced by team green lol.

You know what ...are TG stans children or something? Why do they keep complaining that team green is being unfairly villainized to make team black look better? Don't they know they can just watch a show where the characters are flawed/bad people without needing the story to spoon feed the audience the message that bad people need to be condemned? Why do they take things so seriously? Why is this their whole personality? Get a life and stop overthinking a book/tv show -not everything needs to be deep you know so just shut up and enjoy watching the dragons destroy things.

But for real how can you people stan misogynistic women haters like team green or a trad wife/women for trump like Alic*nt? Like yikes what does your fictional character preferences say about you as a person. Hey EVERYBODY look these weirdos are really out here defending and woobifying violent predatory and sexist characters like team green! This fandom is the worse i swear lmfao."

Meanwhile...

Showrunners/Writers:

"What if the civil war, brutal violence, and tragic kinslaying that happened in the dance of dragons was really just a series of accidents and misunderstandings?

What if Rhaenyra and Alicent were friends who never really hated one another, and Alicent was pining for Rhaenyra's friendship and acceptance for the last 20 years, what if neither of them even wanted to go to war?

Who cares about house stark or the pact of ice and fire, or Jace's interactions with Cregan or Sara? You know what Sara Snow doesn't even exist, Jon i mean Jace would never betray his betrothal/loyalty/vows to his dragonrider soulmate and future wife for some stark girl! This whole stark side plot isn't important lets just go back to the dragons!

What if Rhaenyra wanted the throne because she knew that from her descendants the prophesied saviour/prince that was promised would be born? What if instead of her surviving son Aegon being so traumatized by the horrors of this meaningless war that he actually hated and feared dragons afterward- and supposedly was even responsible for killing the last one- it is Rhaenyra who was actually responsible for saving Daenerys' future dragon eggs- and thus she the one who ensured the return of dragons to Westeros! It will be Rhaenyra through her choices and her descendants that will be responsible for saving the entire realm and defeating the others with dragon fire!

What if Alicent pushing her son to be crowned was all because she was a fool who misunderstood the words of her dying husband NOT because she felt her son was unfairly robbed of his birthright by his father?

What happened with Daenerys in the later seasons of GOT was so unfair- just terrible writing -she NEVER should have been made out to be a mad queen and i bet Rhaenyra wasn't actually a cruel or violent ruler either! I bet it was the men who slandered her, and the men who were pushing for war and violence while all the women were actually trying to keep the peace.

Wait...wait.... What if everything in the book that criticized Rhaenyra was actually propaganda made by her enemies to ruin her reputation!?!!? Yeah B&C and team black arranging the horrific murder of a child? That story was TOTALLY team green exaggerating the violent murder of their child/grandchild. Daenerys I mean Rhaenyra deserved so much better... and all the injustices that happened to her will be the most impactful and tragic element of this show.

What if TG didnt actually have strong bonds with their dragon or spend much time riding them?... just more propaganda! Yes! CGI is expensive so this also means we dont really have to show their dragons unless they are fighting the blacks. Team Black's bond with their dragons is much more powerful and important though so we should still show them spending time together and riding them.

What if the book description of the respect and loyalty team green had to one another and the terrible grief they felt at the loss of their family members was ALSO just team green propaganda? What if Alicent only ever struggled as a mother and failed to connect with her kids and actually didn't even like or respect her children? How many kids did she have anyway? Three? Yeah that sounds right. Oh wait! Wait! What if none of TG got along with or trusted one other? No...no...What if they actually hated and betrayed each other? YESSSS!!!!!!!

Team black and their descendants are the true Targaryens, no one is really interested in the boring team green anyways so at least these changes will make them more interesting and better foils for team black! This type of story is exactly what people want I just know they are going to love it."

NOTE: (because i know idiots will be lurking in the anti tags to complain or harass people)

this is mostly meant to be very critical of the showrunners and somewhat critical of a specific type of stanning behaviour and the weird criticism or harassment that gets directed at people who like team green or who criticize hotd - sure i may be exaggerating slightly for effect but l'm STILL pulling from real posts/comments/opinions that I see from TB stans ...Like sure they aren't putting ALL of this in a single post but collectively this is definitely the type of attitude and language many TB stans have

Fandom is just about enjoying a special interest - I dont actually care about or want to police who you stan or ship. I DO care that some of you purposefully and directly harass real people because you disagree with their opinion on fictional characters and that some of you leave uncharitable, ignorant, critical, or unpleasant comments on properly tagged Team Green/anti or TB critical/or hotd critical posts.

Most of all i just find it really funny the juxtaposition there is between how underwhelming and juvenile the show's storytelling choices are compared to how eloquently, persistently, or vehemently fans will write up either criticism or defense pieces for these characters, this objectively bad show, and it's deeply unimpressive writing... like sure some fans put more effort into understanding the source material and comparing it to the show and some put more effort into criticizing or defending the show,the writing, or specific characters but collectively nearly all of us are putting in more time, effort, and thought into hotd than ANY of the showrunners/writers.

In conclusion Guys just like or dislike whatever show/characters you want...you don't have to justify the things you like by being willfully in denial about what canon sources say/the nature of certain characters/or the quality of the show's writing. You definitely don't need to be disrespectful or attack people on behalf of fictional characters or the well paid hbo showrunners/writers.

[kumeko]

A/N: For the Rowoon Runaway zine! I loved writing this, it was just so fun writing as poor, pathetic Hans (I too would love for the cats to adore me, and I too would also be scorned by them XD Truly the realest one of them all).

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…

Special Correspondent on the Royal Gala

Any good butler knows his duties, and first and foremost amongst them is attending to all of their master’s needs. That is no different for yours truly. Whether it is ensuring your charge wakes up in the morning, feeding his adorable cats, or even just making sure nothing is broken in a drunk bout, a butler is always within reach. Unfortunately, there are some places even the best of servants cannot breach, such as the royal gala. Even most nobles are unable to enter the event and the invitations are scarce and hard to get a hold of.

And yet, of all people, my master managed to make it on the list. Sometimes I wonder if he has uncanny luck or knowledge or both.

Not that his luck is holding on right now during the carriage jam in front of the royal palace. There is only one place for the carriages to drop off their illustrious passengers and a long line up of carriages waiting to get there. My master is currently sitting in his carriage, slouching against the door as he idly gazes out the window. At least he’s not angry about the delay. Though he might be grumpy about the lack of alcohol. 

If he is, I hope he holds out long enough for us to reach the palace entrance. 

There is not much for even a good butler to do now. The coachman has the reins, the footman is hanging off the door, and I am forced to sit up here and wait because my master is sometimes cruel and likes to deprive me of my alone time with the cutey lil kitti cats and children in our house who require my special attention. 

However, there is a lot for a special correspondent to do. For those who cannot witness this spectacle themselves, I shall do my best to let you feel like you’ve witnessed it yourself. The royal family is already inside, though I did catch a glimpse of Crown Prince Alver earlier at the palace balcony. His Highness was as radiant as the sun, partially due to his golden hair, and partially due to his smile. His white uniform and golden tassels lent him an air of grace and nobility. A proper model of what a young master should be. My young master refused to look out the window when I pointed him out so I suppose that image will only be in my memory. 

Princess Rosalyn was amongst the first to enter the castle, her signature red curls pinned up elegantly. With a red dress, she was the very image of a rose. A tired rose; she did not seem excited to enter. Though I wonder how she got there before us considering she is residing as a guest of my master…perhaps she did not want strange rumours floating about. It is hardly befitting for a young lady to travel alone with a man, let alone the sometimes famous and other times infamous young master of Heintuse. 

Currently, Lord Neo Tolls and Lord Venion Sten are exiting their shared carriage. I am sure I am not imagining the black aura curling around their carriage or the rotten stench from it. I feel sorry for their horses. Even their outfits are lacking. Lord Neo’s green vest looks like it was scratched up by wolv wild animals. Not that I would know that from first-hand experience, since I only care for wuvy kitt cats. They also scratch, but out of love. But if they were more violent and enthusiastically destroyed clothing, that is what it would look like. Lord Venion looks marginally better. Marginally.

Oh, no wonder Lord Venion looks like he has an upset stomach! His elder brother, Lord Taylor Sten is also here! As usual, Lord Taylor looks as calm as can be even while meeting the filth of humanity his estranged brother. Only the finest things for the potential young heirs and while Lord Taylor does not have his customary wheelchair these days, he does take to walking around with an ornate cane. His legs are still weak from disuse. I wonder if he imagines hitting his brother with his cane. I would love to see it. It has a nice, gold head; it could do damage. Lord Taylor is also wearing a white suit with gold trimming. Maybe he’s trying for a ‘who wore it better’ situation between him and Lord Venion. 

It looks like I am not the only one left out of these events! His companion and priestess of death, Kage, is not here as well. Maybe we can throw a cruelly-forgotten-people party. Maybe she’d appreciate talking about the kitti cats.

We are almost there! The carriage in front of us opened its doors, revealing Lord Eric, Lady Amir, and Lord Gilbert. No doubt they wanted to arrive before the lout my master, just in case there were any problems. Lady Amir looks lovely in her simple green dress, almost humble in fact. Meanwhile, Lord Eric’s cleaning his glasses. Maybe Lord Neo dirtied them with his presence. Lord Gilbert cuts a lean figure in his black suit as he waits for us to arrive.

Which is now. Our head butler does know how to pick an outfit. Lord Cale appears sharp as he steps out of the carriage, his red suit several shades darker than his bright red hair. Instead of a bottle in his hand, there is a black coat; is he expecting to get cold? Maybe we should have picked a thicker fabric. 

I might have to stop writing here. Lord Cale just looked up and I am not sure if he saw my notebook, but he did glare. If you are reading this, young master, consider giving a good (great!) butler a raise or at least allow him to bring the kittie lovable cats to wait with him next time.

Signing off,

Hans

[treesinspace]

Governor Ivenci is sooo funny every time they show up, I really like them

I wish I could be nicer to them. Yknow, choose how to roleplay in my RPG

[taiturner]

Adrian Lyles as JET HSMTMTS ◆ Season 4

[thedevotionaltour]

Daredevil #19 - "Alone-- Against the Underworld!" (June 1966)

Written by Stan Lee Art by John Romita Sr. (pencils), Frank Giacoia (inks)

[anxiously-kk]

don’t hate me y’all but some people on twitter are mad that felicia would lie for no reason and like i think that’s kinda a reach? clearly she’s a bad ally for cirie but she’s also playing to win. it’s a decent move to make if it works. but ya she lied or sold her out idk which, not cause she’s jealous (she may be idk but it’s not only that) and not for no reason, but because she wants to see herself win not someone else. i know that’s something ciries stan’s have had trouble accepting this season but that is literally the game

(i don’t like it btw but speaking objectively the move has a purpose it’s just one we might not like)

[grungebutsoft]

when someone casually mentions liking the movie “bad guys” I have to flip out about how much I loved it while also downplaying how in love I am with diane foxington

[dulcewrites]

I’m writing this…. Thing lmao, and I hope I’m not horribly mischaracterizing Helaena. Idk I find her difficult to characterize at times.

Also trying to describe her dragon dreams… bc they it is barely touched on nor explained for her.

Edit: oouuu the way I really want to write hotd Alicent and Helaena related stuff bc I do feel like I could bring some new dynamics to their characters. But it’s come to the point where I just prefer writing them in a modern setting bc I feel like I can get them out of their situation 😭😭 I don’t want them to suffer

[divatheeva]

i sketched out Ingo in a midriff exposing shirt today. However, Minecraft. So I’ll have to do more tomorrow

[eruanna1875]

Okay, I definitely agree with this take. However - and I apologize for hijacking your fandom post with another fandom - but oh my gosh, THIS-

"This only validates his idea of himself as Tragic and Doomed and I really feel like he'd lean into that"

-is literally so Wirt coded. It's insane.

Like, that's how he sees himself! The way he talks about himself, the way he sees his interactions with other people. In his mind, he is the lonely tragic hero, doomed by everything, and no one can understand his melancholy.

And that's exactly what the Beast was offering him! I mean, taking up the lantern? Bearing the burden of his brother's soul forevermore, all the while knowing that he didn't/couldn't save him in the first place? What could be more tragic and doomed than that? The Beast was offering him the fulfillment of his own poetic vision, and he came that close to taking it...

And then he sat up and realized, wait that's dumb.

Do you think dying and coming back as a ghost would fix ford or make him worse. I need this for scientific purposes

[radioinactivity]

More Dad Stan AU. Riding the "I want to draw" high for as long as I can. Some notes:

Stan has lived mostly alone for 24 years and as such in the beginning is not used to having an excitable child underfoot that he could potentially step on. Also Stan strikes me as the kind of man who has holes in all his socks.

Wendy's been babysitting the kids since she was like 12 by virtue of wanting to get out of her house and needing money. Dipper sees her more like a big sister than someone to crush on.

Dipper only has one friend his own age and it is, weirdly, Pacifica Northwest. They bond over how mean the other is and are just kind of snarky shitkids together. She likes hanging out with a family that actually seems to like each other, even if she'd never say it.

I'm just trying to refine how I draw these kids so they're not so googly eyed anime kids but not like 100% accurate to the show either. I like how this looks tbh!

There's more stuff but I'll get to that eventually

[shanklin]

It’s Stan’s 2nd time in prison and he is bored.

The food is edible, his cellmates are quiet and polite and even the guards treat him with the bare minimum of respect.

Needless to say, Stan hates it. 

Boredom means Stan has time to think about what could’ve been if he had been smarter, better and more like Ford.

If Stan had just known how to fix Ford’s project, maybe he’d still be someone worth keeping around.

With nothing better to do, Stan one day decides to visit the prison library and finds a few boxes full of engineering textbooks abandoned in a corner.

What if Stan could’ve fixed Ford’s project. Could it even have been possible?

Stan swallows hard and picks up the first book.

Meanwhile on the other side of the continent.

“Oh no no no.”

“What is it Fiddleford?”

“I donated the wrong books! All my notes and corrections were in there…”

Stan snorts as he keeps on reading. This McGucket fellow was hilarious.

The book by itself would’ve never kept Stan’s attention, but the notes, snarky remarks, blueprints for villainous contraptions and death rays? Now that’s the stuff!

Over the next months Stan devours one book after the other and when he finally gets released he’s allowed to take the boxes with him as a thank you for fixing and improving the prison’s new experimental computer system.

***

A couple of years later Fiddleford opens the door to a little robot stomping around on the front porch. Mechanical legs on a toaster body with googly eyes that Fiddleford suspects can see more meets the eye.

He kneels down to inspect the cute little fellow when it suddenly notices him, vibrates and starts to talk.

“THANK. YOU. FOR. THE. BOOKS. NERD.”

Fiddleford has no time to figure out what that means before a book shoots out from the slot and hits him right in the head.

“HA. HA. HA.”

The little bot laughs and explodes into fireworks.

Fiddleford watches the show in amazement and inspects his present.

Beginners Guide to Mechanical Engineering

But not any guide. His guide. The one he carried with him throughout college and kept improving upon whenever he could. 

Only now there are more notes added. Corrections to his corrections, complaints about his design choices and disagreements with his theories.

Oh, it’s on!

***

It takes a few days to find the person behind the little prank, an anonymous entrepreneur who is said to be self taught and on the verge of reinventing the world of computers and robotics as they know it. 

Things that people have also been saying about Fiddleford himself.

Fiddleford laughs in delight. He always liked a friendly competition!

So he sends his new rival a little killer robot of his own as a greeting.

***

If Stanford had known what asking his old college buddy to help him out with the portal would entail he would’ve thought twice about inviting him.

It’s not like he isn’t happy for Fiddleford. He clearly found a like minded individual with the same passion for destruction as himself but would it kill them to keep it quiet for once? Stanford is doing important work here!

[Besides if Stanford wanted to he could totally build robots as well. Better ones even. Fiddleford shouldn’t spend so much of his free time fighting with his rival when his best friend was right here!]

Stanford sighs as yet another explosion causes the ground to shake and feels something push against his leg. 

It’s a little possum-like robot bringing him a bottle of water courtesy of Fiddleford’s rival.

Apparently this mystery person felt bad about destroying Stanford’s house one time too many and gifted him this little helper as an apology.

Try as he might, Stanford is unable to hate the thing and lets it climb onto his lap.

“At least you want to keep me company, hm?”

He strokes the fake fur carefully and the robot rumbles in contentment. It feels nostalgic and he knows Stanley would’ve loved it.

Maybe Ford should call him.

[youneedsomeprompts]

~ BLACK CAT X GOLDEN RETRIEVER ENERGY ~ OTP PROMPTS

requested by: @moondrop-gummies request: Can you do grumpy sunshine where she’s the grumpy but doesn’t believe she can be loved and he’s the sunshine who treats her like she’s the best thing in his life and they’re roommates? Thank you in advance! 🎀

Feel free to use and reblog!

Part 1: ~ GRUMPY X SUNSHINE ~ PROMPTS

grumpy being unable to accept anything kind that sunshine tries to do for them

sunshine just admiring anything grumpy does

sunshine staying at home despite being invited elsewhere just to spend more time with grumpy

sunshine doing the things around the house that grumpy dreads doing

grumpy being snarky about the nice things sunshine does but they both know grumpy is actually enjoying them

sunshine having endless patience with grumpy because they know/hope that they'll come around eventually

sunshine making sure to tell grumpy that they deserve the world

grumpy warming up to sunshine and being in a bright mood in sunshine's company

grumpy being patient with sunshine and listening to their long, colourful stories but that's the least they can do when sunshine does everything for them

grumpy's love language is telling sunshine that they deserve more (than grumpy could ever give them)

sunshine's love language is showering grumpy with affection until grumpy snaps

grumpy trying to push sunshine away to guard themselves from developing serious feelings

grumpy hyping sunshine up when they find out that sunshine has a crush, not knowing that it's them

^ and immediately changing course when they find out (because sunshine shouldn't throw their love away on someone as undeserving as grumpy)

sunshine not paying any mind to grumpy's self-depricating rants and just keeping up their high level of affection and warmth

grumpy being able to let their guard down and accept the love because of sunshine's unconditional and unwavering support

grumpy 'you're an idiot to choose me' & sunshine 'I would be that idiot in any universe and you love it'

grumpy being seriously worried about sunshine having developed feelings for grumpy ("you can't be sane. you should see a doctor.")

grumpy being the biggest sunshine stan but they adore them too much to be willing to expose them to the madness that means grumpy

sunshine doing everything with grumpy that want but nothing more and nothing less because they know how important it is to respect grumpy's boundaries

[green5quirrel]

And when I'm Stan Pines old I wanna look back at all the art and see myself represented!

I love when people draw Stan Pines old and gross. Don't beautify him he's PERFECT THE WAY HE IS

[littlegreendeathmachine]

I love how all of the playable male protagonists in the Ace Attorney series are written as snarky, sassy little bitches. We get to read their inner thoughts and see their cattiness, their sarcasm, and their raw, unfiltered vinegar. These boys are just plain MEAN sometimes but they often think what we (the player) are thinking…

My favorite thing is when a bit of their pointy inner dialogue accidentally spills out into their spoken conversation and even their teenage weirdgirl assistants are like “DAMN BRO THAT WAS FUCKIN SAVAGE”.

I wish I had better examples but I never take enough screenshots during my playthroughs so I used the bitchiest looking sprites of them I could find.

We’ve got…

Phoenix, who, at least at the beginning of his career, tries his damndest to be kind and unbiased toward everyone he meets, but no matter how hard he fights, he just can’t help letting some of his sarcasm slip out. He’s like a puppy trying to stifle his bark. He definitely doesn’t try as hard later on (or at all while he’s disbarred) but still attempts to maintain a semblance of professionalism (unless Miles is around). The funniest thing about him is that he’s a very good judge of character so his inner monologue seems to be his genuine, true observations of people and not just him being an ass for the sake of being an ass.

Miles, who is already seen by everyone around him as an arrogant cock, has some of the best knee slappers I’ve ever seen in his inner thoughts. His dry, deadpan humor is unparalleled, and I love that he uses the utmost precision when deciding who and who not to filter himself around. He’s always playing chess in his mind, after all. Interestingly, he hides his pleasant thoughts about people as well as his negative ones. Can’t let anybody, even his BEST FRIENDS, see an ounce of weakness — no, that just wouldn’t be the Edgeworth way.

Apollo, who has a tendency to think out loud more often than the others and gains himself quite a reputation for being something of a loose cannon (they don’t call him “horned devil” for nothing). He has no qualms about letting people around him know what he thinks about them, though he definitely shares more than he wants to, because, like word vomit, he just can’t stop it from coming out. We learn later on in the series that this lil’ guy has lots of trauma and inner demons, so part of it may be a coping mechanism; either way, the people who care about him have gotten used to this and understand that he’s just gonna be kind of a fucking brat sometimes.

and Ryunosuke, who starts off seemingly unassuming and quiet, a young man who keeps to himself until we soon come to realize he was the OG Bitch™ and has some of the saltiest quips of the 19th century, especially when Sholmes is nearby. I love the contrast between him and Susato, who tries to approach everything with so much grace, while he’s over here like “People in Britain are quite peculiar….” which in his era roughly translates to “Can you BELIEVE these ignorant ass motherfuckers?” He’s quick to point out other people’s flaws but he also spends a lot of time wrestling with his own feelings of inadequacy, so there’s a lot more to his character than his “just some guy” narrative lets on. We stan bitchy Runo.

I love them all SO much. Babies! Babies for life!

It is my firm belief (opinion) that they were all meant to be gay or bi and neurodivergent (as well as their weirdgirl assistants) but that’s a discussion for another day, and a long one, so write that down. And don’t even get me started on the other prosecuties… Capcom really knows how to make MCs that I want to squeeze in my fist like a chew toy because how are they all so cute and terrible? I need more. Can you tell I’m dying for AA7? *salivates*

Also, I wanna hear your favorite bitchy lines from these fine young men!