#snake genetics? there’s so much I just get overwhelmed

[isthedogawolfdog]

Hello ! I just went down a long rabbithole on your blog and it is fascinating, i love learning from people passionate who know about their subject ! :D

I saw a post in august 2022 where you werent sure what define a specie, and as a biologist i'm happy to help !

A specie, commonly, is "a group of animals who could have a fertile child together, and who could meet in nature". (for example polar bear and grizzly can have a fertile kid but they dont live near eachother). Then it gets incredibly muddled, lot of debate happen, and it's not even getting into bacterial species, but that is the crux of it.

And, biology fun fact : the specie "dog" is a wolf ! It's just the domesticated form of it, like pigs are the domesticated form of hogs. It's like, if you only took the pigeons with the bluest feathers, the roundest eyes and the shortest beaks, and only made them reproduce eachother, then only took the children with the most pronounced characteristics and bred them, and so on and so on until you have, in like 50 years, a pen filled exclusively with blue birds with big round eyes and short beaks (and maybe a weird characteristic you didnt intend to have but is somehow genetically linked, like for example, now half your birds have super vibrant orange feet even tho you didnt ask for it). And you name your birds the "Pigey" and everyone want to have one in their home.

The pigey are still pigeons, and the two could breed together. It's just a sub-group of pigeons who lost the genetic variation pigeons have in nature : they lost normal genes for, say, feather coloration, and now exclusively have only one, pushed to the extreme.

It's the same with dogs ! They are a sub-group of wolfs, they are both the specie Canis Lupus ! And "dogs who went wild again", like dingos, are the same specie. (Arctic wolves are also the same specie i think)

Orher Canis species include Canis rufus (red wolf), Canis simensis (Ethiopian wolf), about five or ten others, and then Canis letrans, the coyote ! It can fully breed with wolves, but since coyotes live in plains and wolves in forests, plus the fact they both live in packs and are fairly territorials, they usually dont meet. The same goes with Canis aureus (golden jackal).

Now: if you kept your pigeys separate on an island, with no contact with pigeons, for thousands and thousands of years, they could start to change so much that they would become too weird to breed with natural pigeons : for example, their genitals stop being compatibles with normal pigeons, or their mating rituals would put off pigeons, or more often, they become genetically incompatible (they could loose or gain some chromosomes so they no longer have the same number as normal pigeons). They would then be different species ! In fact that's how species tend to form :D Wolves and dogs are not different enought yet !

I hope i didnt bore you with all this biology, and have a great day !

Hey there! Don’t worry, you didn’t bore me, I love hearing people get excited about stuff!

I think I remember which post your talking about, and I think my answer to the ask was a bit similar to what you said though I was hesitant to get too into the definition because I know there’s some controversy on what defines a species (plus general biology isn’t my strong suit, as I tend to stick with canines). And then there’s the whole chromosomal difference (like how foxes and wolves can’t breed because the number of chromosomes they have is too far off) that comes into play and I’m like ???.

And yeah, Arctic wolves are indeed a subspecies of gray wolf. I also saw an article somewhere (maybe on the IWC site) describing how it was a possibility that dogs may not be directly descended from wolves like we thought as the possible second domestication of dogs comes into play, but I’d have to fact check it. All in all, very cool and I could read about canines all day if you can’t tell.

[the-one-that-weeps]

Is it my time to get crucified yet?

Some explanation under the cut:

Honami is the ultimate crybaby. Don't get me wrong, she'll beat you to death with her bare knuckles, she'll just do it while sobbing her eyes out. She's especially sensitive to topics of separation. Get a sad movie about love that was never meant to be and you have a crying Honami and a pissed l/n waiting for you by the door.

Saki is a close second, not only because the Tenmas are genetically crybabies, but also because (after spending so much time in the hospital) even the most normal things can seem overwhelming for her. She's the kind of person to cry when she remembers snakes can't hug because they have no arms. Don't even get me started on how she reacts to sad movies about dogs.

Similarly to Honami, Ichika is extremely sensitive to topics of separation, loneliness and doomed yuri. If anyone in l/n makes a divorce joke she'll come running to them 5 minutes later with her big wet eyes and whine "baeee, *hic* please go back to bed i misss uuuu"

Please join the crybaby Ena Shinonome agenda. Sure she's not the usual "ueueueue😭" crybaby but she's one nonetheless please I will literally die on this hill

Emu Otori almost got her own section because even though she's made cry fairly easily nobody ever sees her like that except wxs, and even then it happens only seldom. She's only lower than Tsukasa because she doesn't get the daily wxs-typical bug exposure Tsukasa gets.

Almost put An in the section below but I think she's doing better than them. *casually erases Lutf and wtwg from the viewer's head*

Rui doesn't know how to cry in the same way some people don't know how to whistle. He will scrunch his face in abnormal ways but a tear will never shed.

Changed Haruka as a last moment epiphany but I think she just forgot how to cry all that much after being an idol for so long. She can if she really wants to but most of the time she'll just stare at you with her weezer blue orbs and feel bad for the rest of her life *points at her initial 3* untrained*

Nene and Shiho look absolutely delightful while crying, they just see it as a skill issue type of thing.

But if you've ever read mmj main story you know Airi is an ugly crier.

Please appreciate this wet ass creature. /aff

[paingoes]

incredibly whumpy conversation w shavit of @floral-comet-whump

ft. walenty of thales, boundary pushing w/ delta, imperial sadism >:)

not quite RP, just discussing au ideas

(content: dehumanization, cutting, living weapon whumpee, mention of minor whump (child emperor walenty))

shavit: fun fact if walenty ever interacted with destroyer era delta they would treat him like a piece of machinery alia: oh im sure he’d respond to it probably how would that play out shavit: hmmm walenty is a character whose interactions HIGHLY depend on prior rank and story positions so just figuring out what they're doing in the thorn needs consideration ...getting back to the walenty encountering delta thought, they'd be like. “Oh, that's how it looks.” if he's alone they'd tell him to go back to his room cause who leaves nukes wandering alia: i feel like their impression would be pretty much unchanged though, delta does pretty much nothing to challenge anyone’s perception of him as an object shavit: yeah their interaction means nothing walenty is one of many that treats delta like how most treat him and moves on that's all alia: that makes sense for their position though!!! shavit: yep!!!! would you say delta is squeamish by the sight or smell of blood itself alia: probably not deltas broken bones before he doesnt enjoy it but hes not squeamish shavit: so mostly he doesn't care about their sleeves being stained with blood ok 😞 (they don't bother to roll their sleeves up since it gets splattered somewhere else anyway)

[...]

shavit: walenty would do pretty bad stuff if they were in paris's position too I think in a setting like destroyer they'd lowkey be a sadist but be secretive about it as for uhhhh walenty in paris' position bjdbidbidj

1. also not ready in the slightest 2. attempt to fuck it we balling. are very calm with the stress of it but take special care to maintain delta because if they'd been a prince (no gender neutral word, so masculine term it is!) they'd know he was sentient 3. probably ask to cut delta up like once. if he consents: yay get cut up with comments abt having pretty blood, quiet admissions they know he's not a machine, and little vents about everything being a lot, and not being sure what to do about it. rambling about plans basically. he gets his wounds cleaned and hair braided after and it's all very delicate if he does not consent: gets reminded that walenty does own him, and while they want to be considerate and not make life horrible for him, they can. I assume that's the most he struggles. he gets cut up anyway with the same softly spoken compliments about looking serene like this, and how walenty always knew him being an object was a lie. becoming an emperor is all quite overwhelming, they're pretty sure everyone wants them dead. still gets his wounds cleaned and hair braided after! 4. would recognize that fighting against nezu for power is a losing battle within a month. go over to him and admit they aren't ready to rule, especially not through a war

shavit: I love my coward alia: wow walenty totally abandons delta here 😭 shavit: hear that walenty? ur gonna live!!! who the fuck is delta they're not dead remember when paris talked about being surrounded by snakes in early destroyer? here is one alia: jesus i love your coward shavit: thank u 8< (walenty face) alia: 8< walenty face delta would not consent to being cut up btw and i like the gentle threat thats so delicious

[...]

shavit: imagine a huge custody battle once your old owner gets assassinated only to get handed over to this teenager with autism in their eyes alia: autism 4 autism shavit: oh also they abandon you within a month cause they can't take the stress alia: how old is walenty here u think shavit: hmmm young younger than delta alia: wait how tall are they shavit: oooo this is a fun one hold on let me get it in CANON 151 cm/4'11, 161 cm/5'3 with heels (platforms) HOWEVER this is caused by a multitude of stuff, not just shit genetics some things that made walenty this short: 1. being homeless from 5-9 2. overusing magic from 6-14 (stunts growth) 3. shit genetics they'd probably be taller in destroyer verse since they're not starving and wouldn't overdo training as much or rapidly trying to function as much but still they're naturally short, I think the most they'd ever get is around 165 cm/5'4 how tall are delta and paris :3 alia: deltas 5’7 paris is like 5’10 (but 6’0 in the slay boots) thats why iwas asking cause delta is both older and taller hehe

[...]

shavit: still can't believe walenty threw delta to NEZU because they didn't wanna do this anymore what does he do? delta that is cause they'd come in to say goodbye the night before, but not make it explicit they are unless he engages in conversation I definitely think walenty would've made a habit of visiting delta on irregular days but typically twice a week at night to pamper him

alia: assuming he does not know about castle damon at this point he just goes into it like normal. at which point i assume he is either threatened with it and told he has to be PERFECT in order to avoid it. or he isnt given any warning and it just happens 😔 pamper ?? shavit: searched define pamper it's less pamper and more just be gentle and affectionate with him while quietly ranting and maybe torture him highly depends it's a mood thing alia: oh man WHY torture how…. old habits i guess????

shavit: morbid curiosity assuming they would've been at a military academy like paris, they developed schadenfreude which later grows into very closeted sadism they find people fascinating. the way they grow and react to things, and the things they keep. delta who has been stripped of his personhood interests them on a psychologically scientific level, which expresses itself in them wanting to see him in pain they wanna push him to the extreme, until he's hardly ∆-107(I love pulling the government name out sorry) and more just a [insert whatever his species is called] that's been CHANGED, but still has some of his old self left probably fantasized about it, but would never actually go through with it because what they want is screams and damage you can't hide, which would then reveal their secret alia: yeah wow he would not like that very much i think how else do you think that sadism expresses itself are they less sadistic in their own canon shavit: they're not sadistic in their canon the schadenfreude was a brief phase in the period they were transitioning from being tortured in front of captives to doing the questioning and seeing THEM be tortured it was a righteous sort of feeling? but also not? a very "it's finally not me" but it passed because they got exposure to it from a young age and it was internally normalized to them they don't like inflicting harm because it's just a means for an end now it comes about in destroyer verse because the way they experienced it was gratifying but forbidden, so it never lost its novelty alia: so in this au they probably didn’t experience much of the torture on themselves? wdym by gratifying but forbidden shavit: considering The Emperor and military academy doing corporal punishment, they probably did experience the torture, albeit far far far less and by gratifying but forbidden I mean that they'd feel empowered by having so much control over someone and find the physical violence of it aesthetically pleasing shavit: but be very very aware that what they're doing is torturing someone and reprimand themselves for it alia: but still do it shavit: yeah they're more ashamed of enjoying it than the act itself alia: yeahhhhh deltas fucking scared of them shavit: 😔 alia: i think anything w that kind of sadism scares him like hes a machine what do you get out of torturing a machine… shavit: what's he like when they brush and braid his hair alia: probably still sits still for it but he’s incredibly tense and probably waiting for it to hurt again :( shavit: I think they'd either sit behind him on the floor or take him to their own room to sit on the carpet alia: whyyyy. why the pampering shavit: don't you wanna know telekinesis boy (they like it better in their own room and don't have to carry products over) actually destroyer delta probably has his own hair products… the smell!!! I think they would take one of those boxcutters and draw little spiderweb patterns on his arms and back stars snd flowers too mayhaps spirals and circles alia: yes he hates it omg he’s super unused to being cut you may have to like. fight him on this.

shavit: hmmm beyond the soft threat and verbal reminder of his place walenty wouldn't go through eith it they're too afraid he'd thrash ajd have to get it treated and now they need to explain this to simon and martino coward alia: ya i think he’d probably thrash involuntarily he’s well trained but he’s not. THAT well trained i think it could work but he’d have to like. see it and be warned and be walked through it so arm is okay but not back because he’ll panic if he cant see he’d still ask why though and if its a punishment or not shavit: eeeeeee the part abt him asking if it's a punishment is the good shit alia: he’d be more willing to endure it if it was but if its just sadism or for fun. yeah hes scared. shavit: if he thrashes once they catch him and hold him in place then continue. twice they get paranoid and just clean up his wounds and get to idk being nice they wouldn't walk him through it they're too insecure about this to explain stuff out loud would respect arm but not back actually!! aaaand as for the question ahem shem “No, I’m just curious.” he learns it's because of sadism midway through getting doodled on alia: how does he learn 0.0 is there a tell shavit: oh they tell them alia: WHAT DO THEY SAY shavit: "I always wanted to do this" typa shit alia: delta does not enjoy this shavit: explanation of being punished and occasionally knowing of others being punished. how that changed them. how that changes everyone. pain comes and goes (I had to sorry) but it always lingers. it changes people, delta included and that's amazing that's the core of life, isn't it? adaptation. pain. survival. evolution. alia: he…thinks theyre insane shavit: 8< oh also they're probably giggly/chuckle-y in their monologue!! I think prince walenty would actually treat delta pretty well aside from the uh. torture they keep him the same "just a machine" as the emperor did alia: the pampering thing is still kinda getting me like why bother that would confuse him a lot i think delta is just v confused w walenty in general i think what a weird kid shavit: if he asks they would just say that they're lonely that simple (it goes beyond mere loneliness, it also has to do with having something to stim with and that happens to be delta's hair since it's long and silky) alia: LOL paris does that too i feel like a lot of the times hes just running his hands through deltas hair without even realizing hes doing it shavit: and that's without mentioning that they're more than just lonely, this is both seeking out companionship and stress relief. a desire for friendship alia: aw :( sorry i asked this already i think but i forgot already. does walenty not have friends their own age or. at all shavit: in canon verse they basically don't in destroyer verse they're left behind in the military academy and also walenty is the goodie two shoes teacher's pet and supposed heir to the throne when they're still actively studying I don't think their friends would be people they actually connect with they'd probably have online friends though but never speak of their actual life there

[...]

shavit: living for the differences and sameities between canin paris and walenty in his position btw

they both have something deeply wrong with them for one paris fights tooth and nail for his throne. walenty gives up on it mainly of their own voilition paris is older and taller than delta while walenty is younger and shorter they're both casual with him behind closed doors walenty doesn't take him outside closed doors at all while paris is performative delta thinks both paris and walenty are insane/fucked up paris was a notorious troublemaker in school while walenty was a teacher's pet and goodie two shoes many would believe is a people pleaser they're both deeply paranoid people they both have very little genuine close friends (paris has one, walenty has zero) paris is hated by his staff. walenty isn't beloved since they're still distant, but they're not disliked. a "good, quiet kid" through and through they both would've rather not been royalty wouldn't beg to save his life VS has begged to save their life both are calculated in how they physically abuse delta, but paris is outwardly "loud and violent" while walenty's malice is much quieter + a genuine insecurity of theirs like playing with delta's hair :) both are incredibly selfish and self centered who think about their own plights before any others'

[bestas-e-besteiras]

In the past week or so i've been driven temporarily insane by overwhelming sorrow, that like most of the times when that happens, and it happens a lot I assure you, I'm mostly driven in to psychotic stoic bloodlust and overly melodramatic thinking as I inject poetry in the most mundane of things, sometimes a heretic fusion of both and I go on about my days on the automatic, daydreaming incoherent things not to be mentioned here for the sake of my own self preservation and to keep things clean without the vulgarity that such thoughts often bring.

The funny thing is that a few years ago I discovered that my long deceased father was the same. He would go weeks if not months isolating himself inside his room writing poetry and so forth. Not much different from yours truly, in demeanor and nature, according to my family and his friends if they are to be trusted I mean. Is a funny thing to imagine that most of our quirks and personality, something we believe to be entirely ours, can be defined by something so "impersonal" as genetics, almost quantified in cold hard numbers, not a lot of poetry in there I think. That even one of my quirkiest characteristics and something that can really define me is just a byproduct of something so mundane as an double helix of acids that was used as base to set my brain chemicals and peer pure chance matched the ones of my father that led us to be susceptible to the same way of thinking and acting and a solid amount of different mental illness, and probably of his father too, and the father of my father of my father of my father and so on.

Because in the end all we are is only that, in the most reductive of senses our mind is are mere a soup of chemicals that is somehow aware of itself and that doesn't not change it's own nature and susceptibilities to patterns and repetitions often quite present in nature, that is just a long way of saying that not matter how much we wish it wasn't true or how much we like to pretend the contrary, we are not that special and what makes us "special" probably can be found in piles and piles in today's society with the billions of individuals living today. You could probably throw a rock and hit 5 or 6 people just like me if you visited the right places.

And somehow, not even with this being the absolute truth, it fails to capture something that is also true, but can not be proven or observed with the naked eye. That beyond the chemicals, proteins. acids and enzymes that form the electric soup that we call the human mind. There is a soul, and all that it entails, there is history, there are dreams and wishes that no one can comprehend, there is infinite potential, to change everything, to be anything, to rise and to destroy. There is happiness and there is sorrow so great that it can drive men insane.

I often get into trouble through my own love for the mental scars that form part of our own psyche, the fears and anxieties, the sad memories that break us apart and the dreams that lift us up when the dark comes. People complain that is not something that should be romanticized, but I just can't help it, is far too beautiful not to be loved and I would be betraying my own nature if I said I don't love people for it, because in there, in those scars and tears is where the soul also resides, it tells a story, it shows the things that can not be comprehended but that shine with divine light. I could bask in it eternally and still not be satisfied. Like a little snake I would coil myself in the deepened blackened heart scorched by the sadness that comes with living and sleeping quietly and soundly at the satisfying beat and the warm darkness emanating from a broken heart.

And all the superficial ideas, the stupid ideas that humans are nothing but chemicals simply fade away at the notion that they are also their past and the stories they tell if they don't want to, and so do I, even if it is a really sad one.

With that said, going insane because this sort of mental family malediction is extremely inconvenient, because I not only need to explain to my peers were the fuck I was in the last few weeks and saying "I was dancing with my own demons under the moonlight" sounds really fucking gay, it also makes keeping a job really hard because I'm pretty your boss also wouldn't give a fuck.

At least I'm not a normie I guess.

[youarejesting]

Sly like a... ? - Part 1

[Master list] [Sly Master List] Beta: n/a (at the moment) Rating: All  Pairing: Hybrid!BTS x FailedHybrid!Reader Genre: Hybrid au, fluff, action, adventure, angst, drama, slice of life. Some marked chapters will contain mature/smut scenes, BUT they will not have plot in those scenes and are 100% skippable without losing your place in the story. Words: 1.6k

Summary: Human’s strive to be better, faster and stronger looking to animal DNA. Thus Hybrids are born. As the rise for designer and Pedigree Hybrids increase, so do the failed attempts. There is one species scientists are unsuccessful in creating, but, folklore says they have been here all along, hiding and blending in with the humans for many millennia. How clever they are.

[First] [Next]

Humans always strived to be better, faster, and stronger. So it was only natural for them to turn to genetic manipulation. Splicing the human DNA with that of animals. Bringing about a new half-human, half-animal race called Hybrids. They were like most things humans deemed different, scary, and an abomination. They were not allowed to be independent in fear of rebellion against the elite pure humans. These Hybrids were soon seen as lesser compared to the pure humans and were quick to be sold as servants to the rich and shady, and pets to the common families. The only problem was when the families no longer wanted their designer pedigree hybrid they were either abandoned, sold, or worse.

Hybrids didn’t have a voice. They were not allowed to live on their own unless they were fully educated with a bachelor’s degree. Due to these standards, many were sent back to the adoption agencies to be rehomed again and again until they reached a certain age. Then they were put down to make room for more returned hybrids.

You were working with the government on a program that could fix the hybrid rehoming issue. Having presented your idea to the board they seemed interested and were willing to grant you a small fund if you could give them the results they needed. They gave you a handful of Hybrids, one being Jimin the poster boy for the government. He was genetically modified to create a male calico with the classic calico print which was only found on females.

They succeeded and though Jimin was a male his features were more on the feminine side making him seem too androgynous but not what the market wanted. He was left to be used as a model on new billboards and television advertisements for government services and legislations regarding Hybrids.

Another participant was your neighbor’s hybrid, Taehyung. He was a golden retriever and was volunteered by his owner, an older gentleman who recently lost his wife. He was worried for the young hybrid that one day when he shall pass he will be alone and scared. You were quick to guarantee him a place in the program to help him become more self-sufficient in case anything should happen.

You were currently packing your things, not that there was much, living in such a tiny apartment. However, you were preparing for a call within the week regarding moving into a larger government-funded home where you could comfortably house the number of new participants of your trial program. The place was fully furnished with everything a large family of hybrids would need, all you had to bring was your clothes. Everything else was paid for to create the perfect environment for the hybrids. Rent, utilities, food, and anything the hybrids needed were all reimbursed by the government.

Since it would be a few days before you would hear anything, you thought it was best to start thinking of activities for the hybrids to get to know one another. Whilst also basking in your last moments of freedom before devoting yourself to the program. 

On that note, you had finally finished packing and decided to spend your hybrid-free moments treating yourself to some food. Pulled from your thoughts of a delicious omelet by a loud ping from your jean pocket. A reminder on your phone in bold letters.

H-week!

Today marked the first day of your heat, this explained the nagging twinge in your back you had been ignoring, you thought it was from hunching over to pack. Searching your top draw you saw the empty blister packet of heat suppressants, great another thing to add to your ever-growing to-do list. The pharmacy was a little further than the restaurant you wished to visit but not too far out of the way. So you set off hoping to get back in time before it gets too dark, your eyes did funny things at night.

See you weren’t exactly human yourself, you were an experiment. The world was creating new hybrids and well, you were genetically modified within the same year as Jimin. Supposed to be the new designer breed the ‘Fox-Hybrid’. The problem was it didn’t work, you were born entirely human. Sure you were a bit more agile, and your ability to hear and smell things was better than normal. You were still essentially human.

Once a month since you were thirteen, you would get a strange feeling in your lower abdomen. When you discussed it with the scientists for your check-up, they had explained it was a heat. Whilst foxes usually had a heat once a year lasting three days, yours would happen once a month lasting three days but a lot milder. 

Since that day you have taken a low dose heat suppressant to nullify any pheromones. You were grateful because it wasn’t as painful or as long as a human period, but it wasn’t as debilitating or humiliating as a real heat.

You had grown up seeing Jimin on occasion and were familiar with how debilitating hybrid heats and ruts were. Even so, the two of you became friends, both failed attempts at modification.

Though you never understood why they said fox hybrids didn’t exist, you had seen them. Sometimes in grocery stores, restaurants, or nightclubs. They would be there, they would wink at you or wave, give you a smirk with a twitch of their ears or a swish of their tail. Were they mocking you for being a defect?

The only good thing accompanying your long journey was the music humming softly in your headphones. Used to drown out the loud sounds of the city, as your ears were sensitive. It also helped you ignore the side-eyes from Hybrids who would not so subtly sniff the air as you passed. 

You caught a flash of orange and looked across the street. A simple fruit shop that had a colorful awning flapping in the gentle breeze.

Moving around the store was a shopkeeper in a green apron, shirt, with his bronze hair sticking out underneath a matching cap. He was putting down a tray of banana’s and as he stood, a pair of ears and a bottle brush-like tail were visible, he turned as if sensing your presence and locked eyes with you, tipping his cap. He dusted his hands on his apron, leaving you shocked. A Fox hybrid in public! No one else seemed amazed or even spared him a glance. How could no one see this?

It was like a scene from a movie, as a truck drove past leaving the man looking completely innocent and human talking to a few ladies. He was quite good-looking and charming, but there was no sign of a tail. The women were quick to fall for him, purchasing an oddly large selection of fruits and vegetables. You turned back to the path ahead of you shaking your head in disbelief, before continuing on your way to the pharmacy.

The pharmacy catered for humans and hybrids alike and was never too busy. Which made it your favorite store to collect your script from, as there was little to no waiting time. Handing over the script, you strolled around the store wondering what you would need for these Hybrids. Toothbrushes? Combs? If they had a lot of body hair would they need the silky coat shampoo formula or the soft fur body wash? Placing the hybrid shampoo and body wash back on the shelf you shook your head honestly this was overwhelming. 

Rubbing your aching stomach, you were too uncomfortable to really get into hybrid care right now. You wouldn’t have to worry about any other heats apart from your own as it was decided with the board they would all be male hybrid participants. This stemmed from Taehyung being already a willing participant from the start, they thought it best not to mix male and female hybrids.

You would however have to deal with their ruts, albeit once or twice a year. You chewed your lip in thought pausing in the makeup section of the store. You caught your reflection in the small mirror and preened thoughtfully, your eyes were expressive and angular, your hair due to the modification was a brilliant copper.

You were quite beautiful, eerily so, like the man at the fruit shop. Your features were so similar. Even though you were a defect and he was the real deal. “Ma’am your order is ready.”

Turning surprised you grew hot in embarrassment, stammering to make an excuse, “Sorry, I was just thinking about a really strange fox hybrid at the fruit shop.”

Many occupants in the store turned confused and you heard an old man say, “Fox hybrids don’t exist, they are sinister creatures and not to be meddled with”

“She must be a conspiracy theorist,” one woman whispered to her hybrid snake who was donating venom for anti-venom.

Paying for the medication you left quickly and took one of the small pills as you stepped out of the store. Why didn’t anyone else see them?

You headed back towards your home, not forgetting the reason for your trip. You were excited about an omelet at your favorite restaurant when two apples came rolling across the pavement. 

They rolled towards you, quickly picking them up you carried them inside the store, “excuse me, sir you dropped some of your apples,” You saw his shadow in the darkened store, two pointed ears, and the flick of a tail.

“Are you a fox hybrid?” You asked curiously and he laughed. It was strange like snickering but at a pitch that was not fit for a grown man, like a child’s giggle sharper with a few squeals, or like a bird chittering. You know the sound. He was Gekkering like a fox.

“Thank you,” he took the apples gesturing you over to the side, “let me get you some blueberries, they are my favorite.” 

“Oh thank you, sir, how much do I owe you?”

He shook his head, thrusting a black plastic bag into your hands, “It’s okay, we have to look out for one another.” 

What a strange man…

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[jaskierswolf]

Jaskier’s A-Z of Animals

Summary: “I have an idea!” Lambert announced loudly, his words slurring slightly. He’d clearly drunk too much white gull.

Jaskier flicked his ears and tilted his head. This could only end terribly.

- Or Lambert suggests a game of Guess the Animal.

Previous Story (but this can also be read alone)

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Jaskier purred happily as Geralt’s fingers threaded through his fur. The fire was roaring in the hearth and Jaskier delighted in the prickle of heat against his feline body. The witchers were all drunk as skunks but Jaskier hadn’t felt like joining in with their merriment. Their witcher booze did strange things to his head and he’d vowed to bring his own store of ale or wine along with him next time.

Lambert was pontificating loudly, swishing his hands about and rambling on about some stupid humans he’d met on the path. Apparently they’d tried to swindle him out of his coin after a contract. Jaskier yawned and flicked his tail, hissing gently. He’d seen enough of that behaviour over the last few months with Geralt. Luckily for Geralt, Jaskier the mutant dog/wolf companion had been incredibly efficient at persuading the more nefarious humans to relinquish their coin. Geralt scratched him behind the ears. Jaskier meowed and rolled onto his back so that Geralt could scratch his belly.

The witcher chuckled. “Always so needy, you bastard.” He murmured fondly but his fingers still moved to Jaskier’s soft fur on his underbelly.

Jaskier hissed and grabbed Geralt’s fingers under his claws. He didn’t draw blood but Geralt should know better than to call him needy. That just wasn’t fair.

“Jask.” Geralt warned and pulled his fingers away.

Well now, that wouldn’t do. He yowled loudly and tilted his head, widening his eyes as he peered up at his witcher.

Geralt rolled his eyes. “Stop scratching me then.”

Jaskier mewed and rolled back over so he could climb up onto Geralt’s shoulder. He nipped at Geralt’s ear gently.

“I have an idea!” Lambert announced loudly, his words slurring slightly. He’d clearly drunk too much white gull.

Jaskier flicked his ears and tilted his head. This could only end terribly.

“Spit it out, Lambert.” Geralt grumbled.

“Fuck off, patience, White Wolf!” Lambert glared at him and tripped over the rug. He almost fell flat on his face but Jaskier was quicker. He leapt to the ground, shifting mid leap into a wolf. Lambert fell against him and laughed. “I found a Jaskier!”

Eskel snorted. “You didn’t find him. Geralt found him and then he shagged him.”

Geralt groaned. “You guys are drunk.”

“Yeah, well, You’re not drunk enough!” Lambert mumbled into Jaskier’s fur.

He howled and wagged his tail.

“See, Jaskier agrees with me!” Lambert grinned. “Who’s a good boy? Are you a good boy?”

Jaskier barked, turning so he could nuzzle against Lambert. He wrinkled his nose as the scent of white gull hit him. Gods it stank, especially in this form. He really didn’t know how the witchers could bear it.

“He’s not actually a dog, Lambert.” Geralt sighed wearily.

Jaskier turned to Geralt and growled. He was a good boy! Geralt was just a grumpy witcher.

“Fine. Whatever.” Geralt rolled his eyes but came over to join them on the floor.

Jaskier wagged his tail and then sat in Geralt’s lap. Geralt huffed but rested his chin on Jaskier’s back. Lambert continued to scratch him behind the ears and he was in heaven. It really was a dog’s life at Kaer Morhen.

“I want a go.” Eskel whined. “Geralt always gets a go.”

“Get your own.” Geralt grumbled and buried his face in Jaskier’s thick fur.

Geralt was apparently a sleepy drunk this evening. Jaskier liked that, Geralt was always more cuddly when he was tired, but he was also being a grumpy bastard and needed to learn to share. Jaskier rolled his eyes and leapt from Geralt lap. He jumped at Eskel, putting his paws on the man’s shoulders, and licked him in the face.

“Puppy!” Eskel laughed and scrunched his nose up as Jaskier continued to lick his face.

“What was your idea?” Geralt asked Lambert.

“My idea! Guess the animal!” He yelled.

Jaskier sat back down and barked. He assumed he would play a part in this game. He growled quietly, a low rumble in his chest. The witchers knew that he didn’t enjoy being treated like an experiment. He didn’t want this game to turn into a test of his abilities like it had beenat Lettenhove. He shifted again into a mouse and scurried back to Geralt. The room blurred as he shifted and he used his whiskers to guide him as he buried into Geralt’s shift.

Geralt snarled at the redhead. “Lambert!”

“What?”

“He’s family, not a toy.” Geralt’s voice rumbled in his chest and Jaskier could feel the vibrations. He squeaked and nuzzled Geralt’s chest.

“I know!” Lambert whined. “But I thought…”

“You don’t think!” Geralt snapped. “That’s your problem.”

Jaskier squeaked again. He wanted to know Lambert’s reasons. He wanted to trust them. They were Geralt’s family and they’d be nothing but accepting of his gifts.

“I thought!” Lambert continued loudly. “That he knew he could trust us. I thought that it could be fun for him too, he could show off a bit and he knows none of us care what he can and can’t do.”

Jaskier considered that carefully and shifted back into a cat. He poked his head out the top of Geralt’s shirt.

“Jaskier!” Geralt grumbled.

He chirped happily. The temptation to shift back to human was almost too much. Geralt saw him naked all the time. He was allowed to enjoy the thought of ripping his boyfriend’s shirt to shreds, but instead he ducked back inside the shirt and crawled out the bottom.

When he was seated back in Geralt’s lap he shifted to human.

The others yelled and pretended to cover their eyes.

“I’m in.” He announced, not bothering to cover himself and batting Geralt’s hands away. “But I reserve the right to stop at any time. The moment I feel like it’s more than a fun game then I’m out. Got it?”

Lambert grinned and extended his hand. “Deal.”

They shook on it.

“Game stops once I turn into a wolf. No questions asked.”

There was a mumble of agreement.

Jaskier thought about his knowledge of animals. It wasn’t complete despite what the witchers may think. Some animals came easier to him, the wolf and the cat for example. He found mammals easier in general. He supposed the genetic make up was closer to his human form. He was also limited by what animals he knew. He’d spent a lot of time in his youth studying books on animals. They were the only books his parents had allowed him to have in his dimeritium prison of a bedroom. For years the books had been his only access to his abilities outside of the controlled ‘sessions’.

He would start easy enough. He gave Geralt as quick kiss on the cheek and winked before letting the magic loose once more. His skin rippled back into ginger fur and his bones crunched as he shifted in Geralt’s lap.

“FOX!!” Lambert yelled. “Aww look at you. So cute.”

Jaskier let out a screeching bark and trotted over to the redhead with his bushy tail trailing after him. He nuzzled against Lambert’s open palm and shifted again.

He slithered to the floor with a hiss. Reptiles were probably his least favourite animal so he was eager to get this out of the way. The room lit up in infra red and he flicked his tongue tasting the air as he familiarised himself with the room in this form. The witchers ran cooler than humans and it was difficult to make them out with the fire drawing his eye from the corner of the room.

“Snake!” Lambert shouted again and Jaskier turned to hiss at him. He slithered up the witcher’s arm and curled around his shoulders, flicking his tongue in Lambert’s ear. “Get off.” He grumbled. “Next one!”

Jaskier shook his head and hissed.

“We have to be more specific?” He heard Eskel ask.

He nodded. He’d chosen this particular snake for a reason. The scales were distinct, yellow and bristly. He slithered back to the floor and curled up into a ball.

“Umm… Viper?” Geralt asked.

Jaskier nodded again and hissed.

“Prickly viper!” Lambert tried.

“Spiky viper?” Eskel guessed.

Both good guesses but not quite right. He hissed and shifted to human, lounging extravagantly on the rug. “Spiny bush viper, found in desert regions.” He accidentally hissed on the ’s’ sounds and grinned sheepishly. “I saw a picture in a book when I was younger. ”

Before they could question him further he shifted again, blue and orange feathers rippled out this time instead of fur. He flitted between the witchers landing on each of their heads, and he suddenly had an overwhelming craving for fish, he was starving! He  He wondered if there was any in the kitchens. He was sure Vesemir wouldn’t mind if he went for a snack.

Geralt must have recognised the animal instincts taking over and he caught Jaskier gently in his hands. Jaskier fluttered his wings angrily in Geralt’s hands and chirped loudly, trying to find an escape from his prison.

“Kingfisher.” Geralt said softly in a whisper. “Next one, Jask.”

Jaskier chirped again but let Geralt’s rough soothing voice ground him. He shifted in Geralt’s hands, his wings growing and the feathers disappearing until was a fluffy bundle in Geralt’s palm.

Geralt slowly opened his hands and Jaskier flinched away from the light. This choice had been logical in the darkness of Geralt’s hands but the bright light of the room was almost too much. He fluttered up to the ceiling, dipping a few times as his wings felt heavier than expected. It was time to rest. He felt incredibly tired all of a sudden. He curled his wings around him as he found a nook to rest in.

“Did anyone see that?” Lambert asked. “The bugger moved too fast.”

“You’re just getting slow in your old age.” Geralt laughed.

“I’m younger than you, old man!” Lambert grumbled and Jaskier heard the two witchers start to brawl.

“Jaskier!” Eskel called. “Come down and control your boyfriend.”

Boyfriend.

Geralt.

Jaskier closed his eyes and jumped from his hiding place. Shifting again mid-air into a kestrel, but for the first time in a while the shift didn’t come easy. He almost dropped to the ground before he managed to find the energy to flap his wings.

He’d done too many shifts too quickly. Cat. Wolf. Mouse. Cat. Human. Fox. Snake. Human. Kingfisher. Vampire Bat. Kestrel.

Fuck.

He’d hadn’t even noticed it had been so many.

Even back at Lettenhove he’d struggled with ten at a time. The most he’d pushed it before had been fifteen and that had almost killed him. It had been years since he’d tried. He could stay as any form for as long as he liked but too many consecutive shifts were exhausting. He’d forgotten about that. He usually settled after two or three, six at a push. There wasn’t much need to keep flitting about in different forms.

He tumbled to the ground, crash landing on the rug. The noise broke up the fight between the two grumpier witcher and Geralt scooped him up in his arms. “Jaskier, what’s wrong?” He murmured and he stroked a finger along Jaskier’s fur.

“Too much white gull!” Lambert slurred. “Drunk birds can’t fly.”

Geralt snarled at Lambert but didn’t answer him. “Can you shift to human?” He asked quietly.

Jaskier considered it. His wings felt limp but nothing was broken. He was just tired, he needed a nap and food… gods he was so hungry.

“Jask, don’t sleep. Not yet. I need to know you’re ok.” Geralt was obviously worried and Jaskier felt a little guilty for forgetting his own limits like that. He should have known better.

He’d just been swept up in the witchers’ joy and laughter, knowing the excitement they felt had nothing to do with wanting to use and abuse his abilities. The tasks had been so similar to those he’d performed at Lettenhove but the warmth and affection of the witchers had been the opposite of the calm calculated coolness of his parents.

Geralt needed to know he was ok. He needed words.

That meant he had to shift.

He let his magic go one last time and collapsed against Geralt’s chest. “Fuck!” He groaned. “Game over.”

And passed out.

________

When he awoke he was covered in furs and wearing one of Geralt’s black shirts by the feel of it. Geralt’s shirts were rougher fabric than his own. His whole body ached and he felt liked he’d run through one of the witcher obstacle courses, twice. Geralt’s fingers were in his hair and he could hear him bickering with Lambert.

“Well how was I supposed to know?” Lambert grumbled. “It’s not like I purposely set out to hurt him.”

“Again.” Eskel chimed, clearly amused by the entire argument.

If Jaskier’s head hadn’t been quite so sore he probably would have laughed. He’d underestimated the blond witcher when he’d first arrived at Kaer Morhen. He’d been taken in by Eskel’s kind and gentle personality. He’d hadn’t noticed the glimmer of humour underneath. Eskel seemed to thrive in chaos. He enjoyed gently pushing and teasing his fellow witchers until they were almost at each other’s throats and Vesemir had to calm everyone down. The others hadn’t even seemed to realise that it was Eskel manipulating the entire conversation. Jaskier had a huge amount of respect for Eskel as a result.

“Again.” Geralt growled.

Jaskier knew his witcher was about two seconds away from brawling with Lambert again and he took pity on the redhead. He groaned dramatically and snuggled further into Geralt’s lap.

“Jaskier?” Geralt’s hands stopped in his hair.

“Morning…” He mumbled.

“What happened, pup?” Jaskier blinked a few times and then opened his eyes. Vesemir had joined them… oh and they were in his bedroom.

“Shifted too many times.” He muttered. “Forgot to take a break.”

“This has never happened before.” Geralt hummed thoughtfully.

Jaskier tried to sit up but his head span so he flopped back onto Geralt’s lap on the bed. Geralt was sitting up against the headboard and Jaskier had essentially been using him as a pillow, not an unusual occurrence. The others were crowded around the bed. He felt a pang of guilt. He must have really worried them for them to all be here.

“Not for years. When was the last time you’ve seen me shift more than…” He pause to think “six times?”

Geralt just hummed a response.

“Yeah, didn’t think so.” He grumbled. “Now can everyone please fuck off, I’m tired.”

The witchers all grumbled and began to filter out of them room. Lambert mumbling what could have been an apology as he left.

Jaskier’s stomach rumbled noisily. “Oi! Wait! On second thoughts! Lambert, darling, dearest witcher. Have we got any fish?”

Lambert groaned and stalked out the room. “I’m only doing this because I almost killed you, wolf.”

“Again!” Eskel pointed out with a laugh.

“Fuck off!”

Jaskier grinned and cuddled up against his boyfriend. Family, you couldn’t live without them.

_______

Next Story!

[schrijverr]

Cared For

Jonny is the smallest and secretly loves that fact since it gets him attention from the others. When it suddenly stops he’s crushed and cries during crew night, and gets hugged and comforted

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none, but tell me if I missed something or you want me to tag anything!

~~~~~~~~~~

Jonny was small, he knew he was small.

New Texas already didn’t have a tall planetary average and he also hadn’t had any luck with genetics, which meant that the other Mechanisms towered over him, no matter age or gender. He was the tiniest of them all and he, surprisingly enough, loved that fact.

He loved how Brian would come up from behind and grab the thing he was reaching for and hand it to him with a pat on the head, no matter how much he grumbled about it.

He loved how Ashes would use his head as a rest and lean on him always giving him a smirk, despite him complaining about it messing up his hair.

He loved how when he visited Raphaellas lab, his feet would dangle when he sat on her chair, even if he told her she was too tall to be normal and she laughed at him.

He loved how Marius randomly hugged him, enveloping him entirely, making him disappear completely if he was wearing his coat, regardless of the fact that he would tell Marius he was suffocating.

He loved how he could curl up in Ivys lap and she’d just put her chin on top of his and continue reading, sometimes even out loud if it was something Jonny would be interested in, despite him insisting he wasn’t a little kid, although he expected she’d already seen through him and knew how much he liked her soothing voice.

He loved how The Toy Soldier always called him Little Chap and ruffled his hair, no matter how much he pouted when it did.

He loved how Tim would run up to him and just pick him up in a bridal carry and take him with him to whatever destination and no matter how much Jonny complained about it, he never fought and he always smiled slightly.

He loved how Nastya, who he saw as his little sister, let him snuggle up with her in her pillow nest in the engine room. She would curl around him as the big spoon and held him tight to her chest, making Jonny glow with contentment, in spite of the wiggling.

Not that he’d ever admit it, but all these thing made him feel small and that smallness made him feel cherished, made him feel like he was special and that the others cared for him.

Which is why it came as a hug shock when it all suddenly stopped.

First he noticed that the chair had been lowered when he visited Raphaella in her lab, but she could’ve done that because she needed to be lower to observe something. And Brian, who didn’t help him get his mug, instead just looking at him until he climbed onto the counter, could be because his switch was flipped.

But then Ashes stopped leaning on him and Marius didn’t hug him anymore, Tim asked him to come with him instead of just grabbing him, The Toy Soldier called him Old Sport like it did with Brian and Marius and when he went to Nastya during the night, she turned away from him leaving him hugless or the big spoon.

Confused and hurt he needed to know if it was really everyone, so he went to Ivy. She would know what he needed from her and hug him to make him feel better. So he crawled into her lap and waited.

For a second nothing happened, but then her arms snaked around him and he couldn’t suppress a smile. He’d made the right choice. That smile fell the moment she rested her chin on his shoulder instead of on top of his head and then she’d stayed quiet despite the book being about different guns, which was definitely an interest of Jonny.

He didn’t know what to do with that. Inside him a bubble of unease started to swell as he wondered what he’d done wrong. Did they not love him anymore? Were they mad at him? How could he fix it?

Miserable he burrowed closer in Ivys lap, but didn’t say a thing as he tried not to let the overwhelming feeling make him cry, which was pretty hard.

When he’d calmed down a bit, enough to realize that this was just making him sadder and he needed to cry alone in his bed, he untangled himself and softly said goodbye, completely missing Ivys gentle smile as he rushed out of the library.

Safely in his room he pulled the blanket over him and curled into a ball, soft sniffles and chocked off sobs coming out of his throat while he convinced himself that everyone hated him and he’d done something irredeemable.

He stayed in his room for a long while, until he could think of the sudden change without feeling the need to immediately cry. Then he took a shower and tried to get rid of all the evidence that he’d been crying.

While he’d been crying his eyes out in his room he’d made a plan and he had to get to work if he wanted it to succeed. The plan was quite simple, he would subtly try to get the affection back by hinting at it.

The first person he came across was Marius, who was leaning against the kitchen counter with a drink. He smiled at Jonny and asked: “Hey, how’s it going?”

“Good, just tired.” Jonny didn’t even have to fake the yawn. He stumbled forwards and leaned against Marius’ chest as he mumbled: “Could just fall asleep here.”

His hope had been that Marius would steady him, maybe even with two hands and that might turn into a hug. It didn’t work completely.

Marius put one hand on his shoulder to keep him from sagging, but did nothing more than lead him back to his room with some distance between them while he said: “I think you need to go to bed then, Jonny.”

Jonny was pouting inside and missed the warm, fond tone. He allowed Marius to push him into his room and collapsed on his bed, just lying there until he heard Marius close the door with a small chuckle.

Later he would run into Tim, deliberately planned since he’d just shot himself in the foot, and ask if he would be willing to bring him to the med bay. Tim had wide eyes of concern as he nodded, but he did not carry Jonny instead hoisting one arm over his shoulder and letting Jonny lean on him awkwardly as they made their way through the ship.

He sat on Raphaellas desk instead of the chair waiting to see if she’d make a playful comment about his feet, but instead she told him he needed to sit on the chair, because she needed the space.

Brian was wiling to grab something for him, but only after he’d asked and moved out of the way and The Toy Soldier could be persuaded to pet his head after he’d gotten something stuck in his hair and asked it to get it out. Jonny was also still welcome in Nastyas pillow nest and he could just curl up against her back and she wouldn’t protest.

Jonny didn’t really have a plan for Ashes and he thought straight up asking Ivy to read to him was a step too far, so he just brought something to fiddle with and tried not to mind the chin on his shoulder too much.

Still, it wasn’t working and he felt his mechanical heart break with every little rejection.

It’d been months now and it was getting increasingly harder not to cry every time he wasn’t hugged, wasn’t carried, wasn’t petted on the head, just every time he wasn’t loved. He didn’t know what he’d done wrong or how to fix it and the lack of affection was wearing him down.

The bubble of wrongness was building up in his chest and it was only a matter of time until it burst and every little bit of sadness came popping out.

It happened during crew night, something Brian had implemented after he’d been stuck to his chair for a month and no one had noticed, it was just a check up to see if everyone was still there and to fuck around a bit.

Jonny had been looking forward to crew night, hoping that whatever he’d done would’ve been forgiven and he could wiggle between Brian and Raphaella, the two tallest members, unlike last time when he’d ended up on the floor next to Tim.

Alas it wasn’t meant to be, he was too late and there wasn’t any room left between the two of them. There still was a small spot between Marius and the edge of the couch, though, which was still pretty damn good.

Marius was tall enough and the space was so small that it was only natural if Jonny leaned on him a bit and who knew, maybe Marius would put an arm around Jonny to make some space and he could burrow into Marius’ armpit.

But when Jonny had wiggled himself into the spot, Marius told him: “We can also grab you a chair, if you’d like.”

And suddenly Jonny just couldn’t take it anymore. He made eye contact with Marius, his bottom lip wobbling before his face crumbled as he started crying, loud and ugly sobs, shocking everyone.

For a second everyone was frozen then they all rushed to their crying First Mate. Brian knelt in front of him and softly touched Jonnys knee and asked: “Hey, hey, Jonny, it’s okay, everything is alright, just breathe, just breathe, okay. Can you tell us what’s wrong?”

Jonny gasped and took a few shaky breaths, but he fell apart again in a blubbering mess when he wanted tot tell them. He sniffled: “I- I just- why- don’t under- understand- what-”

“Hey, just calm down.” Marius soothed, “What don’t you understand?”

“Why you all don’t love me anymore.” Jonny cried, sobbing loudly again and hugging his knees to his chest.

A stunned silence came over the crew of the Aurora then they all fell over themselves to assure him that of course they still loved him. Concerned Tim exclaimed: “Where in the universe did you get that idea?”

Jonny had calmed down a bit with all their reassurances and glanced at them over his knees, his eyes still wet and soft sniffles coming out of his mouth. He swallowed and said: “You all just suddenly stop- stopped and I don’t- I don’t know what I, what I did or how- how to fix it.”

That didn’t clear anything up at all and Raphaella asked: “What did we stop?”

Biting his lips, Jonny considered not telling them, he’d spend so long grumbling at them about it that I’d would seem weird to just completely turn around, but the empty void in his chest won out. So he whispered: “You all stopped treating me like- like I was small and precious.”

“What?” Ashes said.

“Uhm,” Jonny began embarrassed, “you all just had these little things that made me feel small and suddenly you all sto- stopped.”

His voice broke over the last part and the tears started flowing again. He hated that he was crying so much, but it had all just built up and he couldn’t stop it no matter how hard he tried.

On the others the realization dawned of what was up with their crew mate. They hadn’t really noticed how upset he’d gotten over it and the outburst had shocked them a bit, so they were glad they’d gotten something to fix. Marius immediately took him into his arms and The Toy Soldier patted his head.

“We’re so sorry, Jonny.” Brian said, “We thought we were helping you.”

That got Jonnys attention and he made a confused questioning noise. Tim explained: “You’re always grumbling about it, so when we noticed it was all of us not just one person, we thought you didn’t like it, so we decided to stop. We wouldn’t have done it, if we knew.”

“It’s not your- your fault.” Jonny mumbled into Marius’ chest, “Sorry for seeming un- ungrateful.”

The arms around him tightened around him and Marius said: “Don’t be sorry about that, we should’ve asked.”

They stayed like that for a while until the sniffles stopped and the tears ran dry.

With Jonny calmed down Raphaella asked the question that she’d been burning to ask ever since he admitted what was wrong: “Why do you like feeling small so much?”

Jonny flushed an adorable shade of red, he spluttered for a bit, before he softly replied: “It makes me feel special and cared for, it’s nice.”

Under other circumstances Jonny would never had admitted that, but emotional exhaustion had lowered his barriers and a voice inside his mind urged him to tell them anything to get them to do the nice things again.

“Ahw, you’re the cutest.” Tim cooed and also hugged Jonny.

He got redder, but that didn’t stop him from leaning into the touch and allowing a smile to creep up his face.

They stayed on the couch just hugging and reassuring Jonny the entire night. Everyone had been pretty spooked by his reaction, they’d never seen him as anything else than strong and happy, so to see him break down like that had shook them to their core. So they lavished him with attention in the hope of never having to witness that again.

Marius didn’t think he would ever forget Jonnys face crumbling at his suggestion or the feeling of him sobbing against his side.

Jonny was always small, with a pudgy face that hadn’t rid itself of all the baby fat yet and a cute smile. The crew of the Aurora had long ago decided that he was their little bastard that needed to be protected. It had been hard to stop and it had been even harder to find out how it had impacted Jonny.

It wasn’t mentioned again, but the other resumed everything even adding a some new stuff. It became more common to see Jonny being carried, for someone to ruffle his hair or to swing him up into a hug out of nowhere startling him or to see him in a lap instead of on a chair.

He’d stopped grumbling about it, allowing a smile on his face instead. It was small smile, but a content and happy smile that made it all worth it.

Yes, Jonny was small, he knew he was small, but with a crew like this how much of a problem is that?

[fedgovwhistleblower]

Global Alert: Hydrogen Peroxide, Humidifier and Water mixed 50 Percent used indoors will "Kill Covid 19". Fact that will save your "Life, Family and Friends". US President's, Vice and Congressman attack my integrity for attempting to save lives globally. Unbelievable, Honorable Discharged US Army Sgt not afraid to "Stand and Tell Truth's". Oath to "GOD" matters.

Hydrogen peroxide nebulizer are humidifier to treat Covid-19 infection The following is from Thomas Levy, M.D, J.D., a board certified cardiolosit and a prolific medical writer of 13 books and a international speaker.  Thomas is a good friend of mine and I trust him.  Dr. Frank Shallenberger is also an internationally well known doctor whom I trust as well.  Although I have not personally tested this, I will recommend to you just in case you need it.  This method makes scientific sense and is safe, most definitely worth trying, especially now at this global covid-19 crisis. -Richard Cheng, M.D., Ph.D.An At-Home Treatment That Can Cure Any Virus, Including CoronavirusOriginally Conceptualized, circa 1990, by Charles Farr, MD Subsequently Researched and Prescribed by Frank Shallenberger, MD Current Protocol Created by Thomas Levy, MD, JDAlthough COVID-19, aka coronavirus, is deadly in some select cases, and it can spread rapidly, there is a simple, very inexpensive, and highly effective treatment that can treat and rapidly resolve coronavirus and virtually any other respiratory virus. While different individuals can be expected to have variable degrees of positive response, this intervention can be anticipated to eliminate eventual fatal disease outcomes in all but the most advanced cases.

As I hope you will eventually experience, the treatment works for all acute viral infections, and especially well for flu viruses of any variety. In fact, although we are constantly conditioned to not believe in anything “too good to be true,” you will never have to worry about getting a cold or the flu again because you can cure it on your own.The key ingredient in this treatment is common household 3% hydrogen peroxide, and this is the same substance that can be purchased in a 32-ounce plastic bottle at Walmart, for 88 cents, or at Walgreens for under a $1.00. Perhaps you have never heard of hydrogen peroxide therapy, but since the treatment was first championed by Dr. Charles Farr in about 1990, thousands of doctors have used this therapy for decades to conquer infections in many thousands of patients throughout the world.

How and Why Hydrogen Peroxide WorksBecause hydrogen peroxide consists of a water molecule (H2O) with an extra oxygen atom (H2O2), it is this extra oxygen atom that makes it so deadly for viruses. In order to comprehend why H2O2 therapy works so well, you must first understand that viral infections are eradicated from the body not by killing the virus itself, but rather by killing the cells that produce them.Technically, viruses are not alive, and so it is not possible to kill them. But some agents can physically break down the viral structure and render them inactive. Viruses are actually pieces of genetic code that, in and of themselves, can neither survive nor reproduce. Therefore, in order to replicate, viruses need to infect cells, which means that in the interior of cell, a virus uses the cell’s own DNA and RNA in order to effectively reproduce. Essentially, therefore, the virus controls an infected cell and uses the cell to manufacture new viruses. Then, the new virus can exit the cell and proceed to infect other cells. As a result, the way to control any viral infection is not to kill the virus; rather, the infected cells that have been turned into viral factories must be killed.

This is the role of the extra oxygen atom in hydrogen peroxide.Under normal circumstances with a healthy immune system, one’s immune cells produce their own hydrogen peroxide to kill the infected cells that propagate viruses. When one’s immune cells are overwhelmed, such as the case with COVID-19, hydrogen peroxide therapy merely assists the immune cells in doing the job for which they were originally created.One Disadvantage of Dr. Farr’s Original H2O2 TherapyFrom a patient and consumer perspective, the single main drawback to Dr. Farr’s original therapy is/was that it is primarily an intravenous (IV) therapy. Under most circumstances, this means that you must either administer the IV needle yourself or depend upon another person to assist you. Unfortunately, this is beyond the logistical (and perhaps financial) capacity of most people, and it may be one reason why the original hydrogen peroxide therapy is not more widespread.

Nevertheless, it should be realized that the proper intravenous application of hydrogen peroxide exerts a powerful anti-viral and general anti-pathogen effect.Dr. Shallenberger’s Ingenious Use of a NebulizerThe great news is that there is a safe and simple way to avoid doctors and IV needles. This method developed by Dr. Frank Shallenberger is almost as effective as IV, can be performed at home, and is much less costly than IV.The treatment is known as nebulized hydrogen peroxide, and Dr. Shallenberger began using the technique some years ago when he had a patient who was taking asthma medication that her doctor had been administering in a nebulizer.

For those who are unfamiliar, a nebulizer is a device that is able to convert a liquid into tiny, microscopic bubbles. As a result, these extremely small bubbles, which appear as smoke escaping from the nebulizer, can be inhaled into the deepest regions of the lungs without any discomfort or irritation. Such a device has long been utilized for asthmatics to get medication to open their lungs, but Shallenberger further noticed that nebulizers have a systemic effect, which is delivery far beyond the lungs only. According to one of Dr. Shallenberger’s patients, the inhalation of her prescribed drug in the nebulizer was “unbelievably strong,” and “affected her entire body.”What Was Taking PlaceIt turns out that the tiny bubbles were not only providing medication to the patient’s lungs, but the drug was being delivered to her entire body through her lungs.

Based on Dr. Farr’s prior research, Shallenberger reasoned that perhaps H2O2 could be delivered to the entire body with a nebulizer. Dr. Shallenberger tried the nebulizer delivery system on himself, and he was delighted to discover that the treatment was extremely easy to administer, very comfortable like breathing extremely pure air, and the treatment was in no way irritating. Shallenberger’s first actually ill test subject was his wife who had developed the initial symptoms of flu. She immediately began 10-minute treatments every waking hour, and within 72 hours, (three days), the flu was fully cured. Shallenberger was predictably amazed in that even IV hydrogen peroxide cannot resolve flu in much less time.

Since Mrs. Shallenberger’s rapid recovery, Dr. Shallenberger has treated hundreds of cases of colds, flus, sinusitis, and bronchitis all with the same results. Indeed, Shallenberger has discovered that nebulizer treatments actually have an advantage over the IV therapy. Not only is the hydrogen peroxide disseminated into the entire body through the lungs, it is also going directly to the areas of the body that are most affected by viruses: the sinuses, throat, bronchial tract, and lungs. This is especially important since colds and flu viruses replicate to very high titers in these areas, serving to supply a continuous feed of virus to the rest of the body.

Effective hydrogen peroxide nebulization quite literally, “chops the head off of the snake,” and the virus present elsewhere in the body can then readily be mopped up when the new virus influx has been terminated.It should be kept in mind that hydrogen peroxide kills all pathogens very readily upon contact in an open wound. It should, therefore, be understandable why putting a fine mist of hydrogen peroxide in all the areas of maximal viral replication promptly puts the body on a pathway to rapid healing. Dr. Levy’s Simple, Inexpensive, and Extremely Effective H2O2 ProtocolEarly Onset and Treatment of VirusRegular off-the shelf 3% hydrogen peroxide can be utilized. Preparations of greater pharmacological purity can be obtained if desired.For most adults, the 3% concentration can be utilized in the nebulization chamber undiluted. This optimizes the degree and rapidity of anti-viral and anti-pathogen effect.When a runny nose or slightly sore throat is already present, it is recommended that 10-to 15-minute nebulization sessions be undertaken roughly four times daily or until a symptomatic relief is realized.

Many individuals report significant improvement only a few hours after the first one or two treatments. But it would be advisable to persist in these treatments several times daily for at least 24 to 48 hours after you feel everything is completely normal in your sinuses, nose, and throat.For some, the 3% concentration results in too much stinging/burning in the nose. Such individuals can dilute with water until they find their highest tolerable concentration. Nearly everybody can tolerate a 50/50 combination of the 3% hydrogen peroxide and water. However, still lower concentrations can be utilized with clearly beneficial effect.Prevention/MaintenanceAs it is a completely non-toxic therapy, nebulization can be administered as often as desired.

If done on a daily basis at least once, a very positive impact on bowel and gut function will often be realized as killing the chronic pathogen colonization present in most noses and throats stops the 24/7 swallowing of these pathogens and their associated toxins.If daily prevention is not a practical option, the effectiveness of this treatment is optimized when somebody sneezes in your face or you finally get off of the plane after a trans-Atlantic flight. Don’t wait for initial symptoms. Just nebulize at your first opportunity.

Final Note: This fact and protocol sheet does not contain a copyright, and a patent has not been applied for. Therefore, I encourage the reader to disseminate the contents far and wide to as many people as possible. Because you now have a simple, inexpensive, and effective way to conquer virtually all viral infections, you do not have to live in fear of COVID-19 or any other pandemic. "Please share as a Public Safety Alert" step 1. mix water and hydrogen peroxide 50/50 percent step 2. Pour mixture into a humidifier step 3. Turn humidifier on and breath in mist being released in any room in your home. Try to do this every day, be well. Hope this helps everyone, friend always. mlh.

Yours in good health,Thomas E. Levy, MD, JD www.PeakEnergy.com March 18, 2020

[peepingtoad]

Senjutsu Use; Dangers & Downsides 1/?

We all know that Sage Mode is OP as hell, to the degree where even kekkei genkai such as the Rinnegan are exploited by it for weaknesses they weren’t even supposed to have (Frog Kata is a good starting reference for the OP-ness ‘Oh Penis’ lololol of senjutsu, because seriously, the description of how it enables one to evade strikes is in essence a Sharingan-like trait, just with a different type of sensing)... and that’s aside from the fact that senjutsu seems to be the only thing unable to be nullified by Truth-Seeking Balls(!!!)

But whereas most kekkei genkai seem to come with a number of drawbacks that users have to live with day to day (there seems to be a correlation between powerful kekkei genkai and unspecified terminal illnesses within users, Kimimaro and Itachi being the most notable from memory although there’s no definitive proof as to whether these were genetic or environmental, or through overuse of the kekkei genkai), whereas the only drawback we’re given with senjutsu use is the risk of turning to stone/a frog/a snake/whichever sage animal a user is aligned with, which seems to become a bit of a moot point when a user has achieved the level of control required to become a Perfect Sage.

It just doesn’t really come into play as much of a risk or downside at that point.

And to be honest, it absolutely should!

So, while I also headcanon that Sage Mode (particularly my own, slightly-powered-up-from-canon version of Perfect Sage Mode) has an incredible wealth of powerful techniques, transformation abilities and even the power to continually sustain one’s own life, there truly must be risks and drawbacks to using this ability at all.

And I since I think it would be remiss to neglect the most obvious... 

Learning to take in nature energy can, in itself, be a dangerous affair regardless of one’s proficiency in balancing it with their internal energies; consider how many toad statues litter Myōbokuzan, relics of so many doomed students. We see that nature energy is something that comes to the user pretty unconsciously and magnetically when they remain completely still, and with this being a practice students have drummed into them (and oftentimes, whacked into them with that damn staff), it can even become habit to simply be still much more often than the ordinary person.

While during waking hours this is mostly fine, a problem arises for Jiraiya wherein his tendency to sleep sprawled out like the dead with little movement winds up with him waking up to more than a few froggy features—sometimes to a degree where he’d almost fully transform into a toad. This is because his stillness while sleeping draws the nature energy in without him even noticing, much less being able to balance the chakra to create sage chakra (which of course, he tends to struggle with anyway).

So in order to combat this, Jiraiya was forced to train himself to do one of two things: the first simply being to get in the habit of and train himself to be able to make micro-movements during states of rest, such as an occasional tap of the finger or curl of the toes; second, and this comes later with much more practice, is to enter a deeply meditative zen state that enables him to remain still and get some sort of physical and mental rest while constantly maintaining upkeep on the kneading of sage chakra as and when necessary.

Of course, the zen state isn’t quite as beneficial as full REM cycles of sleep, more equivalent to earlier cycles of non-REM sleep (essentially power naps)—he also retains the sensory capabilities of a sage by being in tune with the natural surroundings, and therefore is ready to spring into action much easier. This is a definite boon when it comes to times of war, where proper sleep is a big risk and a single lookout can’t always be relied on during times of exhaustion, and of course to sense threats. However, the drawback to this is that sometimes being able to sense so much is disruptive in itself, overwhelming for one who doesn’t typically sense things to that level of fine detail.

So during times of peace/low stress, he tends to opt for the repetitive motion method to enable him to enter deeper sleeps while his subconscious remembers to perform the movement. And even then, there’s always a slight risk—this is why Jiraiya is prone to taking many shorter naps throughout the day, and is generally an early riser regardless of what time he goes to sleep.

[razberryyum]

The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 14, Part 2 of 2

(spoilers for everything MDZS/Untamed)

[covers MDZS chapters 55 and 56]

WangXian meter: 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰

Every glimpse we’re provided of the Jiang family life is really equal parts discomfort and electricity because of Madame Yu. Even though each scene usually involves both familial and marital strife, which is usually very uncomfortable for me to watch, I find myself completely incapable of turning away because of her, even as I’m wincing for Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian’s sake. Madame Yu is just so AWESOME. The way she sweeps into every scene she’s in, eyes flashing, taking charge and commanding the room is really breathtaking. As I’ve mentioned before, while I would never want her to be my mother nor do I support her method of mothering, I still completely respect and love her. Every line of dialogue from her is spoken with such conviction and impact and ferocity that I can’t help but grinning in admiration, even when her words are meant to hurt and belittle the boys I love.  

I mean, that alone is pretty brutal to say in front of her son and ward.  While I’m sure Jiang Cheng and Wei Ying spent most of their lives hearing divisive statements like that from her, it’s really a testament to their basic good natures that they still ended up being so close.  I’m sure Jiang Fengmian being present to counter his wife’s harshness helped a lot, but if JC or Shijie were even the least bit petty, arrogant or unkind, they could’ve been easily swayed by Madame Yu’s influence and held her words against Wei Ying. The fact that they didn’t at all and still loved this orphaned boy like their own flesh and blood brother really makes me love the siblings that much more. I’ve always thought it’s quite sad that Madame Yu couldn’t find it in her heart to love Wei Ying as well, especially since he really is so lovable and adorable, but jealousy is an ugly and powerful monster that is hard to defeat, so it’s really a shame that she let it overcome her to the point that even her relationship with her husband and children was negatively affected.  Not to mention, I can only imagine how unhappy Madame Yu herself felt, believing as she did that she will always be inferior to the memory of a woman who has already passed and also questioning her husband’s fidelity and loyalty even so many years later. It’s obvious that her quick temper and biting words are the manifestations of her unhappiness. For such a capable and strong woman who could have easily been a sect leader in her own right, I really wish she could have been had a more joyful life.    

It should be noted that for her all her magnetic screen presence and impressive performance, actress Zhang Jing Tong, who portrays Madame Yu, is only 30 years old with just a few credits to her name. It’s amazing when I think about the fact that even though she’s only two years older than Xiao Zhan and Xuan Lu and seven years Wang Zhuo Cheng’s senior, she pulled off the Jiang matriarch role with total aplomb. Watching her I never for one second doubted she was their mother, head of the Yunmeng Jiang sect and household because of the authoritative air she possesses. Prior to looking up her professional history, I actually thought she was an industry veteran and I somehow just never saw any of her shows even though I’ve watched my fair share of Chinese dramas. The fact that she hasn’t been in that many shows just makes me appreciate her work in CQL even more. The degree of success in which she's brought Madame Yu to life is truly amazing: it’s as if the character literally just walked off of the pages of the book.  I hope she gets a lot more high profile professional opportunities from now on as a result of her wonderful performance in The Untamed.

Yunmeng Bros Love

It’s so difficult not to cry or at least get teary-eyed watching this scene now; I sure as heck couldn’t get through it without a few tears this time. The love these brothers have for each other, what they sacrificed for each other, just makes my heart hurt so much. What’s most heart-aching is that this really is the last time they can still laugh and embrace like this without any reservations, without any sadness or true regrets, because their family, despite its imperfections, is still whole. So this moment, this promise, in addition to serving as a testament to their bond, also feels like a marker of the end of their childhood and their innocence since soon after this is when all their dark days start arriving.

Clive Barker Would be Proud

Going back to the Xuanwu of Slaughter’s cave, even though I still don’t understand enough about the anatomy of the creature to be able to figure out how it can have so much room in its own shell to allow for storage space since the last I checked, that’s not how a tortoise’ body fits inside their shell, and if it’s actually a snake then why couldn’t I just come out of its shell to go after the boys earlier, I still appreciated the set design within its disgusting abode. Team CQL really did execute the gore and squelch elements quite well. That interior was pretty effectively creepy and gross.

Prelude to the Yiling Patriarch

Not gonna lie, that smirk does funny things to my tummy. It’s so deliciously sexy and evil. Makes me wish they had gone full darkside with Wei Ying when he became the Yiling Patriarch, or at least retained most of the moral ambiguity he had in the novel. We get his Yiling Patriarch smile a few more times after this, thank goodness, but since this is the first glimpse we get of it, I will always have a soft spot for this moment.  

I would love to see Xiao Zhan take on a truly villainous role one of these days since I think he would really excel at it and can totally succeed at making the audience both love, hate and fear him in such a role, but considering his elevation to leading man status now, I doubt that will ever happen anymore. Such a shame. He would’ve been scarily effective and alluring.

Jin Zixuan Appreciation Time

I’m going to take a moment here to show some appreciate to our dear bro-in-law. At the outset, I had thought he was a dick unworthy of our dear Shiji because of the way he treated her in the beginning and his rudeness towards Wei Ying.  I have since warmed up to him considerably, and now I think some words of praise is due. For being the son of a perverted piece of shit and growing in the lap of luxury, Jin Zixuan honestly turned out to be much better than his genetics and upbringing should have produced. Actually, I should give Madame Jin some credit, since she seemed to have a somewhat good head on her shoulders considering her favoring of Shijie. Most likely the reason why JZX turned out to be a decent enough man was because his mom did most of the parenting work. Despite his initial treatment of Shijie, I was impressed by how protective he was towards Mian Mian when she was being targeted by Wen Chao. Being a product of a total lecher of a father, it’s actually amazing that he never predatorized Mian Mian himself. Hell, I wouldn’t even be surprised if he had to protect her from his own father (yeah I really don’t think highly of Jin Guangshan at all). But no, he’s absolutely upstanding and I did also appreciate the fact that he went back with Jiang Cheng to rescue Wei Ying and Lan Zhan when he could have easily just not do so having already escaped. He was risking the Wen’s wrath in doing that so I know it did take guts and a strong sense of chivalry. I guess that’s why Shijie fell in love with him early on: she obviously saw something in him right from the start that took me this long to see.  

Other Odds and Ends

I remember being flabbergasted when I first saw this image on Wei Ying’s headboard because I simply could not believe what my eyes were seeing. Naturally I wanted to know everything about that illustration: did Wei Ying draw it himself? Who was he thinking of when he drew it? I know it can’t be Lan Zhan since the drawing obviously predates their relationship, so who could it be? Jiang Cheng? That thought actually did cross my mind very briefly way back but since I prefer their brotherhood above any shipping possibilities, I dismissed that thought almost as soon as it arose.  I know now that drawing is probably nothing more than an Easter Egg by Team CQL, but I still appreciated it since I thought this was even more blatant than the gay porn they snuck in back at Cloud Recesses’ library pavilion scene. That drawing wasn’t as clearly shown as this one and seemed more ambiguous. Really, bravo to their boldness, and bless the censors for overlooking this little bit of fun as well.

This poor kid. I should’ve known his life would soon come to a premature end as soon as they focused on him and gave him a sweet learning moment.

Just FYI for anyone who cares: looks like this while thinking of Lan Zhan is the reason this scene gets two 🐰.

Questions I Still Have

- Why did Lan Zhan let Wei Ying keep that disgusting, bloody sword even though he had to have clearly seen the demonic black smoke coming from it and surrounding Wei Ying while they were fighting the Xuanwu of Slaughter. Even if Lan Zhan missed the smoke, why wouldn’t he have at least sensed the all the evil and resenting energy emanating from the sword? Considering its origins, you’d think its ominous aura would be so overwhelming that even someone with a low level of cultivation would sense it, much less someone as cultivated as Lan Zhan. Not to mention, just in terms of sanitary issues, why would someone like him, who prefers cleanliness and has some knowledge of infection prevention, even let Wei Ying continue to hold on to that filthy thing anyway? I know story-wise, the sword is important and needed for later on, but I’d honestly rather they kept with the novel in this instance and had it just fall back to the bottom of the water in the cave.  It could still magically reappear at the Burial Mounds later on because it already recognized Wei Wuxian as its owner or something like that.

- Actually, what I also don’t understand is why Wen Ruohan never sensed this most powerful piece of the yin metal when it was so close to his stomping grounds? Why did that the first piece of metal he obtained call out to the pieces that were farther away instead of this one which was much closer? Unless, the reason is because the yin metal sword was activated because the other pieces finally reunited?  

Huh.  

I actually never considered that possibility until now, but if that’s the explanation, I can accept it. I guess this question might have been answered.

Overall Episode Rating: 9 Lil Apples out of 10

Disclaimer: The Untamed would not be possible without Mo Dao Zu Shi and Mo Xiang Tong Xiu-laoshi. I mean no disrespect whatsover when at times I may favor the shwo over the MDZS bible that is the novel. All hail MDZS and MXTX-laoshi, always and forever!    

[sadbirbs]

I’ve been going through the Racial Justice & Equality Bundle and I’m going to make a list of stuff I’m especially excited about, both for future self-reference and for others who might be interested.

If you’re thinking about buying the bundle -- do it! This list is catered to my tastes but there’s so much in there that I *promise* you’ll find something you like.

If you already have, feel free to add on with your own picks/recommendations, as I’m overwhelmed by the amount of stuff in there and would love help sorting through it!

Under the cut ‘cause this got long.

Night in the Woods

The World Begins With You

Vilmonic: genetics/evolution simulator

A Mortician’s Tale: run a funeral home. 1-hour playtime

Petty Puny Planet: micromanage your pet planet

Gataela: Victorian steampunk RPG with a debate-battle system

Overland: post-apocalyptic road trip survival/strategy game

A Snake’s Tale: puzzle game with cute snakes!

Mon-cuties For All: raising monsters on a farm? Love farming games and it looks adorable

The Boughs: a TTRPG setting that looks like it’ll really scratch my “city in a giant tree” itch

Minit: accomplish everything you can in 60 seconds, then move on to the next life -- a game I already wanted pre-bundle

AIdol: cute visual novel about an AI trying to find her programmer (there are a lot of great-looking visual novels in here)

Verdant Skies: describes itself as Harvest-Moon-like but in a space colony! Lots of options for activities & they’ve placed a focus on inclusive avatar-building

Brassica: another visual novel, about “political marriages and their gay alternatives,” nice art style

In the Light of a Ghost Star: rules-light sci-fi TTRPG about exploring an abandoned Earth

Rites & Rituals: TTRPG lore dealing with spellcasting -- I’m curious about the index of fictional plants!

The King’s Bird: I’m not really into platformers but this looks beautiful + birds

#birdsecrets: how could I not pick something with a name like that. A mystery-solving TTRPG

My Welcomed Guest: single-player TTRPG about being trapped in Faerie

For the Honor: GM-less TTRPG with a magical princess aesthetic

To be a HerpWitch: “a small game about being nonbinary and befriending familiars”

6 Bites for 6 Princes: a TTRPG adventure (system-agnostic) about royal family secrets & werewolves

Tricksters: 2-5 player TTRPG (who wants to make a trickstersona?)

Lancer: a very nice looking sci fi TTRPG

Peckin’ Pixels: pixel art + chickens? sign me up

Cthulhu Deep Green: Cthulhu mythos + conspiracies TTRPG

Chalice: Arthurian Knights TTRPG (wish I could bring this into one of my lit classes ...)

Astral Defense: Galaga-type pixel art shooter

Eat Girl: “surreal top-down dot-eating game”, PacMan style

Beast Dream: Pokemon-inspired TTRPG about befriending monsters and going on adventures

World Maker: single-player worldbuilding TTRPG made with an eye towards writers developing worlds (!!)

Peck N Run: more birds! You play as a sandpiper trying to feed your chicks!

Mapping the Catacombs: solo TTRPG (pen & paper RPG) adventure about exploring catacombs

Ring of Fire: mystery game about chasing down a serial killer, looks excellent and atmospheric

Bird Bakery: m a k e  y o u r  o w n  b i r d

Death and Taxes: oh I wanted this on Steam! you play the Grim Reaper deciding people’s cases

Signs of the Sojourner: deck-building game that focuses on your experiences with other characters

Loopy Lore: co-op storytelling party game

Sleepaway: GM-less TTRPG about camp counselors protecting kids from the Lindworm

Matr1x 0verl0ad: cyberpunk solitaire, sounds like a great combo! (TTRPG/card game)

The Reaper’s Almanac: GM-less game where players write each other letters as reapers harvesting human souls

Mutiny Island: open-world RPGish game about being a pirate

Viridian Maw: TTRPG setting featuring a mutated crater

MonGirl Tile: cute strategy card game

Black Heart: a Carly-Rae-Jepsen-themed cultist one-shot TTRPG. Wild

Crystal Story: Awakening: retro-looking pixel art RPG

Mausritter: mice with swords TTRPG; my childhood Redwall obsession just flared to life + adventure included

EMUUROM: metroidvania where you’re just scanning creatures and befriending them instead of killing them

Roguescape: rogue-like platforming dungeon crawler

Sonar Smash: cute shooter featuring a dolphin! iOS/Android compatible!

Noise1: hacker-typing stealth game

Desktop Goose: I saw this one in a tumblr post going around a while back. It’s a goose. It lives on your desktop. It’s horrible

Night in the Storm: you’re a lighthouse-keeper trying to keep the light on all night; looks gorgeous

Democratic Socialism Simulator: play as the first socialist president of the United States

Interstellaria: real-time space-exploration and management sim

One Page Lore: Fantasy Folk: lore for fantasy races that provides alternatives to or removes problematic tropes

OneShot: surreal/meta puzzle adventure game (keeps getting recommended to me on Steam)

Cromwell: Reigns but you’re Oliver Cromwell

Desktop Meadow: transform your entire computer into a beautiful meadow w/ birds, flowers, & mail

Ex Novo: city-building/map generating multiplayer pen-and-paper game (good for developing settings for further use)

Spring Falls: a puzzle game about water, erosion, and watching things grow

Corvid Court: bird-themed TTRPG about being criminals in a corrupt city

Celestial Correspondence: you log onto an angel’s computer and read their emails

The Ghost Houses of Phylinecra: system-agonistic TTRPG adventure/setting

1-6 Oozes in the Dark: D&D 5e module for level 2 characters

Stand Up: Persona-inspired TTRPG

Nott & Dagr: Norse-mythology puzzle co-op

Neon Blight: cyberpunk rogue-lite/gun store management game

Oxenfree: I’ve already watched a playthrough so I probably won’t actually play it, but a rec for anyone who hasn’t

[justjessame]

Dr. Tali Sullivan Epilogue

Harvey and I kept our promise to Abi. The four of us were just the right size family, but we did add a puppy or two. And then she talked us into a few stray cats. I’m still not sure which one of us gave the OK for the rabbit though.

Abigail grew to be more inquisitive and her passion was for all the animals that seemed lonely or orphaned. She brought us birds that had fallen from trees. Once a snake that had been squished near the end of its body, and she found joy in the stories that Harvey told her about mad scientists and their quest to make God knew what that instead created animals with strengths and sizes that sounded more like a movie or video game than reality.

Caelum was quieter, but no less intelligent. He liked to sit with me and read, and he loved visits with his uncle Cas. Although, honestly, I think uncle Crowley might have been his favorite. I wasn’t surprised when he showed an interest in following in my footsteps, wanting to research and learn as much as he could about the ‘family business’.

Dean and Sam continued to visit, easy additions to the days prior to holidays and listening to Abi try to convince them that she was old enough to date when she turned sixteen was one of my favorite arguments to date. Caelum was just as close to the Winchester men, having no qualms about them being his big brothers too, even without the same genetics.

We gave Abi the chest filled with John’s letters and gifts when she was ten. I didn’t want to overwhelm her too soon, and I also wanted her to be young enough for his presence to be welcome should she choose it. She read through them all, and opened each gift smiling and finding a home for trinkets and stuffed animals in her room. Abi, showing she was far more rational than her mother, took her time in deciding whether or not to let John back into her life. And when she did, after asking for a lunch date alone with her daddy first, she started small. A letter, then a call, and once she felt more comfortable, she asked if she could have him visit.

Harvey took the choice with more calm than I felt. Allowing John back into our lives scared me, but I knew that I’d promised my daughter that it was her choice. I agreed, but asked that he come while I was out. Seeing them bond, watching Harvey have to see it, would be too much. The first couple of visits went the same. I’d get warning, Caelum and I would go to town for the day, and Harvey would call to let me know when he’d gone.

It took a few visits before I decided I wouldn’t rush away. It was our house, why should I run away? Caelum had shown interest in meeting Abi’s ‘other dad’, and I watched with a lump in my throat as she introduced them. I let myself relax when I noticed that Harvey and John had found peace around one another and from that moment, his visits became more frequent and anticlimactic.

Mary came a few times, but Abi didn’t warm to her. I didn’t ask, because Abi’s relationship with John was hers. During a shopping trip when she was around thirteen she confessed to me that she couldn’t look at John’s wife without seeing how hurt I must have been when she came back. I tried to convince her that I was fine, and she shouldn’t let how I felt or had felt taint her own feelings.

“I’m not, Mom,” she offered, her eyes on a very pretty dress. “I just can’t see her without thinking about you dying for him.” Her eyes, a mirror of my own, met mine. “She’s a sad replacement for you.” Shrugging like an average teenager, she asked if she could try on the dress that had caught her eye.

 Harvey and I never lost the same rush that hit us when our skin touched. And our kids groaned at us so many times over the years that he took it as a challenge to embarrass them as much as possible.

My parents passed away in a car accident when Abi was seventeen and Caelum had just turned fifteen. It hit us all hard, but the loss brought us even closer together. Crowley, Rowena, and Cas stepped in to fill in our void, and I knew the kids and I appreciated it.

 As I’d told John Winchester the day I married Harvey Russell, the four of us were the conclusion to our story. I didn’t know how long it would run, but I knew that my husband and our two kids were what mattered most to me. Everything else was just filler.

[darling--michael]

A Sight to See Chapter 2 (Michael Langdon x Blind!Reader)

18 Long Months

That was how long it had been since the world ended.

You had spent the first few days feeling around your cage with hands. Most of the time you could get around with your cane but it was nowhere in sight. Tim and Emily, the other resident in your hellhole, updated you when they could.

When the three of you were thrown into suits and a different van, you clung to Timothy. He was your only familiar piece of home you had left. You begged him to describe what had happened to the world, despite how horrifying it could be.

The three of you were heading to some kind of Outpost. A place where you could live in peace. As the three of you approached the Outpost, you heard crying and screaming. When the bullets went off, you reached for Emily’s hand. She squeezed back, confirming her growing fear.

Ms. Veneable could be distinguished by the sound of her cane. You would strain your ears to make clear it was her coming. She explained the rules of the Outpost, then sent you all to your rooms. A Grey, or servant here, helped you to your room. You were dressed and so thankful when the Grey placed a cane in your hands.

It wasn’t much but it allowed you to figure out your way. You didn’t have to fear falling down the steps or over the railing. You made your way slowly down the stairs, toward the library.

The other residents of the Outpost were interesting to say the least. The old woman bragged about how her day was so much better than ours. You tried to ignore Coco’s comments on why a blind girl would be chosen for her better genetics. You pushed those thoughts away.

As the months rolled by, you tried to spend your time with Emily and Timothy. But as they grew closer, you couldn’t help but feel yourself being pushed out. Sex was not allowed in the Outpost. You became their lookout when they needed time alone.

You loved that the two of them were growing lose. But as your thoughts grew darker, you wondered what all the fuss was about. There were hardly enough people to repopulate the Earth. Even worse, you weren’t sure what genetics these people thought you held.

Soon people were calling the three of you the Polygamists. You rolled your eyes at the comments, trying to discourage them. You and Timothy had been friends for so long you saw him as nothing more than a brother. And Emily was so nice, always making sure the hallways and stairs were clear for you.

You were resting your head in Timothy’s lap. It had been a long week. You were bathing when you felt the snakes slithering over your body. You and Emily’s screams filled the hallway. Then as you were about to take a bite of dinner, Timothy pulled you from your chair. The snakes had come back to life and moved about the table.

Timothy let his fingers run through your long hair. You let memories overwhelm you. Timothy and you running around the neighborhood. The feel of the summer sun on your face or the ice of winter in your bones. Now it was winter forever and there was no end in sight.

Silence filled library. A stranger had come to the Outpost and he was definitely causing an uproar. You heard the man’s footsteps echo through the hallway. You felt the room stiffen with his presence.

“My name is Michael Langdon and I represent the Cooperative.” The voice was like honey to bees. You tilted your head, hoping to be filled with it.

He explained how we were part of humanities last hope. The Sanctuary was a place where people could live in peace. Langdon would choose who lives and who dies.

“I look forward to meeting each and everyone of you.” You heard his footsteps leave the room as everyone began to complain.

“Well I know some of us that won’t be making the cut.” Coco’s voice filled the room. You felt heat rise on your cheeks. Standing from the floor, you used your cane to leave the room. You knew better than to fight this battle.

You felt your way toward your room. Your door was open, making you anxious. After the snake incident, you felt like the Outpost could bring about anything.

Something rubbed against your legs. You screamed dropped your cane. Falling to your knees you felt around for your cane. The fussy robe left of the floor was the culprit for your scream. So embarrassing, you thought.

“Looking for this.” That rich voice filled your ears. Lifting your head, you looked around. A soft hand rested on your shoulder. Taking the smooth hand in yours, you stood up. Your cane found itself in your hands again.

“Thank you.” Langdon had a sense to him you could never forget. As if he filled the entire world with just being.

“What is your name?” His voice seemed to tickle your ears.

“Y/n. But don’t get used to it.” You felt around for your bed. Taking a seat, you rest the cane on your lap. “I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for.”

“And why would you say that?” His voice echoed around the room. You weren’t quite sure where he was standing.

You pointed to your eyes. “I don’t think you need blind people in this new world.”

“Says you. I think you’ll be surprised what I want in the new world.” The door creaked as he shut it. “I’ll see you at our meeting, Y/N.”

TAGS:

@ticklish-leafy-plant

[burclay]

Heartbeats: Chapter 14

“Rose?” asked Cleis’s sleepy voice behind her. Rose turned around to see Cleis slumped on the floor, raising her head to look at Rose. “What are you doing?”

“Hoping I don’t need a truck,” Rose said.

AO3 Chapter 1

Rose’s stomach dropped as she stared at Yaz. 

“How d’you mean, you’ve lost her?” she asked.

“The Daleks took her,” Yaz said.

“I can’t get the TARDIS to take me back,” Rose said. “It won’t do it. I—” 

And then she remembered what she had done the last time she had been in this situation.

“Hang on, Yaz,” she said. “I have an idea. I’ll be there soon, yeah?”

“Please hurry!” Yaz said.

Rose flipped the phone shut and slid out of bed. She didn’t even bother to change out of the pajama pants she was wearing, she didn’t stop to find Graham and Cleis— she just marched right to the console room and started trying to figure out where the console opened up.

“Rose?” asked Cleis’s sleepy voice behind her. Rose turned around to see Cleis slumped on the floor, raising her head to look at Rose. “What are you doing?”

“Hoping I don’t need a truck,” Rose said. She turned back to the console, looked at it for a second, and then dug her fingers underneath the grooved edge and pulled. To her surprise, it popped open easily, golden energy pouring out. She was sure there was some sort of reason, but she didn’t have time to care, so she just sent a silent thank you to the TARDIS.

“Stand back,” she warned Cleis, and then she turned towards the golden light.

It was easier, this time. Maybe because she’d done it once before, maybe because she was a Time Lord now. She wasn’t overwhelmed by it; she could control it. The heart of the TARDIS swirled in her head, and she molded it, shaped its flow, directed the ship through the vortex and right to the Doctor.

Rose was vaguely aware of Graham coming in, Cleis stepping back, but all that was background as she stepped forward, a creature of light, and the TARDIS doors opened, and she walked out.

She barely registered the room she was in— just that it was small, and there were no Daleks. Instead, she locked in on the Doctor, who was sitting in a corner of the room with her knees to her chest, looking breathlessly up at the TARDIS.

“Rose,” she said. “And my ghost monument. You came back for me.”

“We came back,” Rose said, her voice echoing across time and space. “Get in.”

“You’re— you did it again,” the Doctor said. “Rose, you can’t.”

“Too late,” Rose said. “Doctor.” She poured as much gentle power, as much love, into the name as she could, holding out her hand for the Doctor to take.

The Doctor took Rose’s hand. Rose pulled her to her feet. 

“This is going to kill you,” the Doctor said, close enough that Rose could see golden light reflected in her eyes.

“I don’t think it will,” Rose replied, and she knew, with the power of the TARDIS behind her, that it was true. “Come on, Doctor. We’ve got people to save.” She led the Doctor back into the TARDIS and locked onto Ryan’s and Yaz’s timelines. 

A moment later, she stepped out the TARDIS doors to see Ryan and Yaz, staring at the TARDIS like terrified mice being saved from a senate of cats. As Rose moved forward, the Daleks shrank away; Ryan and Yaz stayed put. 

“What’s happening?” Yaz asked. 

“Is this a Time Lord thing?” Ryan added.

“It is not,” Rose said. “I am the only one. The Bad Wolf.” She waved a hand, and the Daleks melted away, off in time and space. “I control time.” A scrape on Ryan’s forehead healed. Rose closed her eyes. She felt her self blurring away, blurring with the TARDIS, and she stumbled. The Doctor’s arm was around her in a millisecond, a firm pressure guiding her back to the TARDIS, and Rose was barely aware of anything else as she fell back into the console room.

“Is she all right?” Yaz was asking, but her voice was a million miles away, and Rose didn’t have an answer, she didn’t know, but then she could see all of time and space laid out before her, her timeline within it, and she knew yes she would be all right, and she lurched towards the console and let golden energy flow out of her, back into the TARDIS, flowing and flowing and flowing, and once every bit had left, the console shut, and Rose fell to the floor. The Doctor’s arm was immediately under her head, holding her up, and she opened her eyes to see the Doctor’s face, full of concern.

“’S okay,” she said. “I’m fine. Just need a rest.”

“That should’ve killed you,” the Doctor said. “You should be regenerating right now.”

“Suppose it should’ve,” Rose agreed, but she didn’t have the capacity to give it much more than a passing thought. She closed her eyes again, and she felt herself being lifted into the air in the Doctor’s arms. She curled into the Doctor’s chest, listening to her hearts, taking comfort in the fact that the Doctor was alive, and alive because of her. 

She blacked out.

It took her a moment when she woke up to fight past the fuzzy feeling in her head. She was warm, curled up underneath blankets with the soft curve of what she was sure was the Doctor’s body against her back, and when she opened her eyes, she realized she was in her room, her purple comforter tucked up around her shoulders. A moment later, she realized the Doctor was humming something, and she smiled and lifted her head.

The Doctor immediately stopped humming. 

“Rose,” she said, right next to Rose’s ear. 

Rose winced. “Got a headache,” she said.

“Sorry,” the Doctor said, quieter. “I’m so glad you’re awake.”

“Me, too,” Rose said. She turned her head, letting her body follow until she was facing the Doctor. It was harder than she expected; she was sorer than she realized, more exhausted, and the pain in her head was dull but constant. She wrapped an arm around the Doctor and curled closer. “Thought the Daleks were going to get you.”

“I thought so too,” the Doctor admitted, her breath warm on Rose’s hair. 

“What happened?” Rose asked. Her voice was muffled against the Doctor’s shirt.

“They wanted to take my genetic material,” the Doctor said. “Were going to keep me alive forever in that little room. I think they wanted to execute Yaz and Ryan. I never should’ve let them come.”

“Wasn’t your choice,” Rose reminded her.

“I know,” the Doctor said.

“And it was all right,” Rose added. “You’re not still in that room, and the others are okay.”

“Only ‘cause you came in,” the Doctor said. “Rose, you should never have done that.”

“I knew it’d be all right,” Rose said. “Instinct.”

The Doctor’s hand traced circles on her back. Rose smiled against the Doctor’s shirt.

“You shouldn’t still be you,” the Doctor said. “Scientifically, I mean. Should’ve killed you.”

Rose rolled onto her back.

“I’m not sure it should’ve,” she said. “I could sort of tell it wasn’t going to. And the TARDIS— she made it easier.”

“How do you mean?”

“Didn’t need a truck to open her,” Rose said.

“Can I run tests on you?” the Doctor asked. 

Rose laughed.

“What?” the Doctor asked.

“Later,” Rose said, turning her head to face the Doctor again. “Stay with me now, yeah?”

“’Course I will,” the Doctor said. “It’s brilliant, isn’t it? That we’re both still alive?”

“Brilliant,” Rose repeated, and she flopped onto her side again. She ran a hand over the Doctor’s face, tangled it in her hair, watched the Doctor’s mouth open ever so slightly. Love swelled in her chest, and she slid forward with a slow, sweet kiss. She was alive, after all, and the Doctor was alive, and they were together, and Rose couldn’t imagine a better way to be.

She drifted off to sleep again. 

When she woke up, her head hurt less, and the Doctor wasn’t next to her anymore. She sat up, blinking the sleep out of her eyes, and got out of bed. She took a shower, pulled on her favorite jeans, and ventured out into the TARDIS. 

She found the Doctor in the kitchen, making tea; Yaz and Ryan were there, too, making what looked like pancakes, and Graham seemed to be teaching Cleis how to play chess. Rose stood in the doorway, watching with a slight smile, until the Doctor looked up and saw her.

“Rose!” she exclaimed. “You’re up! I was just going to bring you tea!”

“Suppose you don’t have to now,” Rose said, weaving her way through the cramped space to stand next to the Doctor. “Good to see everyone’s in such high spirits.”

“How are you feeling?” the Doctor asked.

“Just a bit sore,” Rose said. “How long was I out?”

“Was just a night for us,” Yaz said. “If you slept in.”

“Brilliant,” Rose said. “Didn’t miss much, then.”

“And you’re just in time for pancakes,” Ryan added.

“Even better,” Rose replied. She snaked an arm around the Doctor’s waist. “Suppose we’re going to have to run tests on me today?”

“Tests?” Ryan asked. “What for?”

“I’m not meant to be here,” Rose said. “The thing I did with the TARDIS should’ve made me regenerate.”

“Metal,” Ryan said.

“I’ve got loads of theories,” the Doctor promised.

“’Course you do,” Rose said. “Pancakes first, then theories, yeah?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

And that’s what they did— sat around the table with the others, eating pancakes, joking around with the general sense of breathless relief that came with the sort of adventure they’d just had, and then left Graham and Cleis to their chess game and Ryan and Yaz to their heckling of the chess game and went off on their own to find one of the labs.

“Should be around here somewhere,” the Doctor said as they turned the fifth corner. “I swear, she does this on purpose.”

“She definitely does,” Rose agreed. “Joke’s on her, though, ‘cause we’re going to work it out no matter what.”

“I like your thinking,” the Doctor said. “What are your theories?”

“Well,” Rose said, still walking, “you told me once that Time Lords were made by looking into the time vortex, yeah? And the heart of the TARDIS has time vortex in it, but it’s got other, TARDIS-y stuff in it, too. So I was thinking it made me something a bit like a Time Lord, but maybe it also gave me some other powers.”

“So you’re a whole new thing,” the Doctor said. “Oh, brilliant. I love new things.”

Rose bumped her shoulder against the Doctor’s.

“You’d better keep loving me once the novelty wears off,” she said. 

“Oh, definitely,” the Doctor said. “I love new things and old things and medium-aged things and I love you too.”

Rose grinned and tried to kiss the Doctor on the cheek. She missed, but the Doctor grinned back anyway.

“Still better find the lab,” the Doctor said. “Got to make sure you’re all healthy.”

“How would you know if I’m not?” Rose asked. “Given I’m a whole new thing and all.”

“Oh, shut up,” the Doctor said. 

“You know I never will.”

They gave up on finding a lab after an hour of looking, deciding the TARDIS would give them one when she was ready, and went back to the kitchen, where now Yaz and Graham were playing chess, Cleis having been defeated. 

“It’s all right,” she said. “It’s only my first time.”

“I play winner!” the Doctor shouted. 

From there, a full tournament emerged, then evolved into a strange sort of RPG when Rose decided to add diplomacy to the mix and started having her pieces beg captors for their lives, which everyone joined and which was an excellent way to spend a day. 

“I was wondering,” Yaz said as everything was winding down, “could we go back to Sheffield? I’d like to see my family.”

“’Course we could,” the Doctor said. “Think we could all use a bit of a break. Pop in and say hello to Najia and all. D’you want to go right now?”

“Might be nice to sleep in our beds,” Ryan said. 

“Brilliant,” the Doctor said. “Sheffield it is.” She started off, and the others straggled behind. Rose brought up the rear, thinking. 

They arrived in Sheffield, too late for tea, but not quite too late to avoid Yaz’s mum’s glare. Yaz and Cleis went up to Yaz’s flat, Ryan and Graham went off to their place, and that left Rose and the Doctor, sitting in the doorway of the TARDIS, looking out at the sidewalk.

“I was thinking,” Rose said, her head on the Doctor’s shoulder, “we could talk to UNIT. I’ve got some contacts, you know, way off in the future where you found me. Bet you they could run some tests.”

“Think they’d find anything?”

Rose sighed. 

“Probably not,” she said. “We might find something with their machines, though.”

“Might be better to just wait for the TARDIS to let us into her labs,” the Doctor said. “You know, if you want to visit your friends, you can just say so.”

“Suppose I’ll just stay a mystery,” Rose said.

“Love a good mystery,” the Doctor said.

Rose laughed. 

“Come on,” she said, standing up. “Let’s go explore. The others shouldn’t get to have all the fun.”

She held out a hand. The Doctor took it, and they walked off, laughing and smiling together.

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

I am sad and overwhelmed so I took a klonopin and am currently eating a mix of white chocolate chips, milk chocolate chips, and coconut flakes out of a coffee mug with a spoon. How are you this evening?

Additional news, I took my cane, a canister, a reusable bag, scissors, my dad, and my dog on an adventure through the woods (which my body has made clear was a mistake) to hunt for snake skins and/or dead critter bones. None were found, but I did find some neat plant clippings & an area with an abundance of moss that I'm going back for later to use in a terrarium.

Everything else I did today ended in utter failure so I refuse to speak of it.

I also did some math. Ya know how I am trying to raise the $900 I need for my genetic testing by cross stitching my fingers off? Yeah... my profit margin for pieces is SO small, that it will take me literally 3 years to get the money.

So if anyone wants to just donate to a girl and help her out, let me know & we'll work it out via paypal or that one that starts with a V. I will personally watercolor you a card with a personal message of gratitude. It's not much, but I'm working with what I've got.

(I'm becoming increasingly sad and desperate if you hadn't picked up on that)

Due to the sad interludes in this post, below is a picture of my dog with her new baby, a plush bunny my dad thrifted for $1. She loves it and grooms it like a real baby. I have named her Buffy the Bun.

[nightvision-of-thesoul]

stolen hearts

this story is a long one, the longest i’ve ever written before, so it’s coming in smaller doses so it’s not overwhelming!! it started for my love and desire to write out the first scene with michael in it at the outpost, and sort of built on it from there. @nihilnovesubsole is my biggest supporter and i would never have started w/o her!!! i hope you all enjoy and want to read more- i wanted to set up the foundation before i moved into the smut but it’s coming >:) lemme know what you think!! (also, though she does take the action of mallory’s character in this part i did not take the reader in that direction after this i just liked that interaction!!)

@ritualmichael

PART 1

things are about to change at the outpost. 

The warm, orange glow of the candles cascaded a false sense of security and sincerity over the extended dining hall, shadows and light playing around the room with one another. The smell of stew wafted through the stiflingly underground air. Though boiled snake would not always be considered an appetizing smell, hot food of any kind or quantity was a blessing compared to the small, flavorless cubes of protein we were normally subjected to. The cart’s handle rumbled underneath my hands as it passed over the tiny imperfections in the stone floor and I brought the meal in for the members of the elite, a group of whom I woefully could not consider myself.

           From the opposite side of the room, I could hear the nasally, high pitched voice of Coco, replying to Ms. Mead about the gourmet luxury of the evening.

           “You know, I have a strict rule about eating things with no legs, or, too many legs for that matter,” she stated in her usual disdainful manner, upturning her lips and trying to get a better look into the massive bowl in the cart that held inch long sections of the snakes that were bobbing up and down eerily in the broth.

           “Eat it or don’t. No one’s gonna force it down ya.” Mead’s eyes were glued in an icy stare to Coco’s face as she answered the complaint, neglecting to hide what everyone else felt but was too tactful to manifest: complete disdain for Ms. Vanderbilt. I wasn’t the biggest fan of her either, but before the nuclear fallout I was her personal assistant. As arbitrary as it seems now, she was one of the nation’s biggest stars, with an ego to match: the apocalypse did little to change that mindset.  

           The other grays and I began ladling the soup into the lavish bowls, and despite the apparent protestations to eating something that slithered as such, the majority of the elites took the meal with gratitude. Coco’s nose was still risen towards the sky as I slid a full bowl in between her place settings, but she cautiously began poking around at smaller sections of the reptile as if to find the most appetizing segment before chowing down. There was little conversation as the servings were handed out, apart from a remark from Evie, who began sharing an anecdote about some kind of decadent snake soup she’d had in some place or another with someone of heightened societal position. Her desire to cling to her status of the past usually made her a point of ridicule, but the tale garnered a few chuckles nonetheless. As Dinah had pointed out, the soup was food, and we are all starving, too hungered to care about making any snide remarks directed at the ancient grandmother of Mr. Gallant.

           My mouth watered as I returned the cart to its initial spot at the head of the table, looking down at what remained in the container and knowing my meal would not begin until hours after the purples had been satiated and moved on to the cocktail lounge to indulge themselves further. While it made sense, the only real reason for me even being granted into the fallout shelter being my affiliation with someone who could pay their way in, it still seemed unfair that I was the only member of our arriving quartet to be granted the short end of the stick, the position of servitude for all rather than just Coco. Instead, I was forced to watch her and everyone else live a lavish lifestyle that left me at the bottom of the food chain, picking up scraps and equating to little more in their eyes than the irradiated vermin that remained outside these walls. Every crack of Venable’s cane that reverberated throughout the Outpost was like a stab in the gut, never ceasing to remind me that every task I attended to slowly and carefully chipped away at my former dignity. My thoughts on classist injustices and the enticing smell of soup were cut short as a seldom heard voice chimed in to the minimal conversation, posing a question everyone seemed to have forgotten to be curious about.

           “So, who’s in your office?” The voice belonged to Emily, one half of the pair of kids my age who had been brought to the shelter due to their “superior genetic makeup.” It was her room in which the multitude of snakes were found for this very meal, writhing around in her closet like they were caught in some kind of grotesque waltz. While no one questioned their presence, it was assumed they came from outside the fortress, though no mutations had been found, nor had there been any radiation detected in them at all. Only hours before, the alarms had been raised, and while Venable and Mead had tended to the security breach, no explanations were made. While it could’ve been snakes, just like the pigeon that set off the alarm earlier in the week, we all knew it wasn’t: the breach had been made by someone, and someone Venable clearly wasn’t ready to reveal.

           “I beg your pardon?” Her deep voice came out strong and unwavering, inviting no real answer to that question, but getting one anyways.

           “The alarms went off before, and someone came inside.” Emily’s voice was more pressing this time, and was followed up by her other half, Timothy.

           “Who else is here?”

           “All your questions will be answered in due course.” Venable’s gaze bored into Timothy and Emily, prompting an unspoken agreement to not urge the conversation along any further. Following the stern and pregnant pause, she finally turned her attention again to the whole of the room and gave a single command: “Eat.”

           With the sound of her cane following the order, the regular chatter began to resume, though wary and calculated looks were now being passed from elite to elite, and with good reason. Who was it that came through those barricaded doors, and why was Venable so unwilling to share? With each new member that had joined us, they had wasted little time introducing the rest of us to the people we would be sharing our limited and claustrophobic space with. Why was this different?

           Still standing in position by the head of the table, I had little time to formulate any more questions for myself as several loud wails suddenly arose from around the room. Several of the elites leapt from their chairs, sending the bowls of soup flying in disarray onto the floor. My first instinct was to feel contempt for their lack of gratitude, until I saw the reason behind their outburst: the snakes were once again whole, alive, and slithering through the broth, the candlelight glinting off their wet scales as they blithely passed through the trampling feet above them.

*****

           “They were chopped up and boiled, how the fuck did they come back to life?” Coco’s voice could be heard again down the long corridor leading to the sitting area, rivaling the loud crackling in the fireplace. The snakes were the rampant subject of the evening still, even though Mead and the Fist had already taken the born-again creatures and disposed of them outside. No one had even approached the fact that the only hot meal in over a year had been a sham, everyone was simply too spooked to care. The circumstances surrounding the mysterious intruder had already heightened the general air of suspense and confusion, and the evening’s phenomenon did little to quell those feelings in everyone; even Venable was on edge.

           “Beats me, I’m still wondering where the hell they came from,” Gallant replied, swirling around his glass of water as though it was a much-desired glass of wine after a long day at work. His eyes were fixed on the fire, his gaze reflecting the concern he felt. Unusual, considering his regular gift for levity in most situations. Typically, by now he’d find a way to make a joke about getting railed by a Hemsworth brother to lighten the mood.

           “Maybe that is where they came from.” The words cut through the heat of the room like an icy blade, sending an inadvertent chill down my spine. They came from a man to my left, where I stood next to the doorway awaiting any requests with the other grays. I could see his silhouette outlined in my peripherals, but felt compelled by something, not to turn my head in the mysterious speaker’s direction.

           The silence following the remark was palpable, broken only by the click of the stranger’s boots as they brought him around the edge of the room. Venable had taken her usual speaking position in front of the fire, standing with an exaggerated air of importance, a tight smile painted onto her face and her dark brown eyes locked onto the man as he approached her. His hair was long, just a touch past his shoulders, and a warm golden color that complemented the light of the embers. There was a slight curl at the ends that swayed back and forth along his back as he sauntered forward, up into place next to Venable, who had begun smiling at him like she was in on a little secret. He lingered for a moment beside her, his profile outlined by the flames behind him. It was some kind of stalemate playing out, his lips turned up in an expectant smile, his eyes slowly and carefully looking our administrator up and down. Slowly, Venable’s smile faded to a look of muted embarrassment and she could no longer meet his gaze. She walked slowly, regaining her poise as she stood next to Ms. Mead, allowing this mysterious gentleman to take her place. He finally oriented himself at the front of the room, allowing us all to see his face fully for the first time.

           His eyes were an icy, cold blue, slightly slanted down at the corners. They framed his face just right, set just slightly above his slender nose. It was hard not to focus on his lips as he began to speak, full as they were, ever curved in that sardonic smirk that made it clear he knew he was in charge, much to Venable’s obvious chagrin.

           “My name is Langdon, and I represent the Cooperative.” The words spilled from his mouth like honey, a bitter honey that coated your ears but sent another chill through your spine, much like the first time he spoke.

           “I won’t sugarcoat the situation. Humanity is on the brink of failure. My arrival here was crucial to the survival of civilized life on Earth. The three other compounds In Syracuse, New York, Beckley, West Virginia, and San Angelo, Texas have been overrun and destroyed. We've had no contact from the six international outposts, but we are assuming that they, too, have been eliminated.” All eyes were glued to his visage, his undeniable air of superiority. Gallant was paying particularly close attention, and I couldn’t blame him. There was something about him that drew you in, and handsome confidence that didn’t allow you to look away.

           “What happened to the people inside?” Andre broke the silence with his question, voicing what no one wanted to acknowledge in light of this new information. With a sharp turn of his head in the young man’s direction, Langdon uttered his sort reply.

           “Massacred.” His voice barely above a whisper, and the slight smile never left his face. “The same fate that will befall almost all of you.” His pause before the word ‘almost’ left a space open for interpretation, one that was not lost on us. Before I even knew what I was saying, I blurted out, “Almost all?” Even from across the room, I could feel his attention shift to me immediately, drilling me with his eyes. I quickly found something interesting to examine on my shoes, hoping for nothing more than to rid myself of the heat of shame that followed that stare. He didn’t answer the question, but seamlessly flowed into the next parts of his speech. Though he was no longer looking, I could still feel the smoldering gaze that felt like it was still burning a hole in me.

           “In the knowledge that this very moment might occur, we built a failsafe: The Sanctuary. The Sanctuary is unique. It has certain security measures that will prevent overrun.”

           The next person to join in the discussion was Ms. Mead, who politely interjected.

           “Excuse me sir, what measures? I mean, why weren’t we given them?” Still with that ceaseless smile, his attention turned to the older woman. Again, his response was curt.

           “That’s classified.” With a pause to ensure no more interruptions, and a slow scan around the room, he began once more. “All that matters is that The Sanctuary will survive, so the people populating it will survive, so humanity will… survive.” His voice melted on the last word, hanging on to it like a vice grip.

           “Who are the people who are populating it?” Kyle inquired from his seat next to Emily. It was clear from the way he clutched her hands that he hoped they might be the lucky pair to hop straight to repopulation. This was not lost on Langdon, though it was clear his patience was thinning.

           “Also classified. However, I have been sent to determine whether any of you are worthy or fit to join us.” With this, the tension that had built throughout his monologue palpably eased. The erect postures around the room and the positions on the edges of seats eased back to recline in the realization that any one of us could possibly escape this cramped hell hole. A ripple of muted conversation passed alone each member, even among the grays.

           “Do you think that includes us?” The one boy next to me asked. I couldn’t come up with an answer, just the wonder in the back of my mind: would it be possible? Were the things Langdon was looking for something that could be found in someone considered lesser than those dressed in purple?

Again, my thoughts were cut short as he began once more. His voice carried loudly enough to silence the sea of murmurs immediately.

           “The Cooperative has developed a particular and rigorous questioning technique we like to call "Cooperating." I will then use the information gained to determine if you belong.” He waved his hands out to each side as though the explanation was obvious. Apparently to a certain few, it still wasn’t.

           “What is this, The Hunger Games? This is bullshit. I paid my way in here, and that is the only cooperating I plan on doing.” The whining coming from Coco struck a particular nerve this time, clearly not just with me. Gallant rolled his eyes and Langdon was again caught short of patience.

           “You don’t have to sit for questioning. You can instead just stay here, and die.” There was no smile this time. Not leaving her any time for embarrassment, Gallant finally spoke up for the first time since his remarks about the snakes.

           “I volunteer to go first.” He looked around the room as if to challenge someone to suggest themselves first, though no one offered.

           With an almost imperceptible sigh, he replied. “And so you shall.” Langdon bowed his head slightly in the bleach blonde’s direction, feigning courtesy. “The process should only take me a couple of days, so you won't be kept in suspense forever. For those of you who don't make the cut, all is not lost. If the worst should happen and feral cannibals come knocking, down one of these.” He extracted a small vial of white pills from the folds of his draped jacket and held them high enough for all to see.

“One minute later, you fall asleep and never wake up.” Silence fell again, and he let us soak in all the options that had just been set before us.

“I look forward to meeting each and every one of you.” With a slight rattle, he thrust the bottle of pills back into his pocket and gave another quick glance around the room. Though it was clear no more protestations would be accepted, he left no time for further discussion anyhow, briskly striding around the opposite side of the room from which he came in towards the exiting corridor. As he passed, I caught his eyes once more. It was reminiscent of the sensation one gets when they find themselves atop a mountain in a lightning storm: the hair on the back of your neck and arms begin to prickle with a life of their own, and it’s as though you can feel the current of the electricity replace some of the blood in your veins. Those cold baby blues sent the shock down my body from head to toe, even in just the space of an instant. The air that rushed past me as he made his way out the door smelled sweet at first, yet quickly left a sour taste in my mouth, much like the aroma of a wilting flower. Such strange sensations to follow an equally strange man, but the combination of them all made my toes curl. Who, or what, was he?