#smoothie for astarion

[baddmintonsart]

putting kyris in the blender

[teiasviago]

ASTARION in BALDUR’S GATE 3 (2023) - [1/∞]

[theemotionalgnome]

Duality of man… boy I draw…

How do I make the big caption go away someone help

[astarionposting]

Okaaaay this one is my official new favourite screenshot I’ve take of him 🥹🥹

He just looks so pretty and sad…

And the increased dark circles mod makes my heart go BOOM (I found a mod that replaces one of the face tattoos with even more tired eyes and I’m tempted to download it….)

[monsters-and-macaws]

Astarion Baldurs Gate 3 makes 5 alt accounts on ChickenSmoothie every December 17th.

[thebratprincexo]

[thunderheadfred]

Why would my partner utter such cursed knowledge in the presence of my uterus

[chizups]

I am a changed woman. Thanks.

I was wondering if you’d be willing to do an Enver Gortash & Astarion kiss. 😩💚 it’s a v rare pairing but my friend and I would absolutely geek.

Sure! Why not! 🤷‍♀️

[limpfisted]

in stream we have learned that:

theo made up the blade salute himself! to make his mark on the character

larian wanted wyll to be “somewhere between idris elba and daniel kaluuya” and theo thought he wpuld fit the role

he originally was in a play that did really well, decided not to go on tour, n then ended up doing bg3.

he thinks wyll would be a fire fighter in a modern au, but his first answer was bouncer

he said mizora had regina george vibes lol

he says we need to bring back rizz like wylls

his favorite vicious mockery quote is the one abt toenail tasting

he was very gravious abt the panel n said that he usually just hangs back and is more “chill” in group interviews and orefers “stuff like this” one on one on twitch and stuff

he remembered p much everyone he met at mcm, he said he appreciated everybodys love for him n support

he personally complimented havadoodle’s art multiple times, n said it was so popular they had to run n get more!

his favorite line is the ICONIC “provoke the blade, and suffer its sting.”

he answered my question PERSONAAAAAALLLY (#famous) and said wyll would dress up as thor for halloween n go from house to house giving ppl sweets

theo says wyll wouldnt kill anybody if he didnt have to, he says wyll would kiss shadowheart bc shes so sweet, and marry laezel bc opposites attract! (so true)

theo kept calling his red smoothie “astarion juice”

THEO SAID HIS TIME AT MCM WAS ONE OF THE BEST WEEKENDS OF HIS LIFE, he says hes felt so much love wahhhh

wyll could sleep with a teddy n theo still has a blanket from when he was a kid.

they will be doing more streams ahhhhh

[snuurp]

introduction to the WORMS IN MY BRAIN jk this is a modern fantasy au for baldurs gate 3 plain text and more info under the cut

intro to the au, forewarning i haven't done much research, and my first playthrough of the game isn't done yet (I AM in act three tho I swear 2/3rds of the three guys r dealt with and so is cazador.) keep in mind i have no idea what i'm doing.

the mindflayer stuff is like. an experimental implant they all dubiously agreed to without all the info. extra enhancements (like the other tadpoles in game) are like drugs, and they appear once weekly at everyone's doors whether they want it or not. initial implant stabilizes Karlach's engine, helps with Astarion's vampire stuff, etc. etc. and the extras just feel good to use, it's addictive.

all of them are in a support group together meant to encourage them to stay clean from the extra tadpoles. time they've spent with the group varies.

there WILL be more detailed posts for them later, i have a lot of thoughts on Karlach and Wyll especially. implied/possible shadowzel and wyllstarion. my tav will be present, this is very self indulgent and i am in lesbians with Karlach.

plain text for images:

KARLACH

6'11" - 7'

construction worker.

her first job was disastrous.

foreman Goretash pushed her into dangerous situations that she felt pressured to be in because she was the newbie.

things went wrong with the electrical on the job site, landing her in the hospital with a near-fatal heart problem.

but good* news! avernus co. offered her a mechanical heart for the low, low price of a ten year work contract! (strings attached.)

she's out of the contract now, and avernus co. is refusing to maintain her heart (and the other "upgrades" they gave her without consent.)

still in construction, unionized and a loud advocate for workers rights.

can't do caffeine. her coffee order is a creamy chocolate chill from TImothy Horthingtons.

favourite board game is ticket to ride or uno, surprisingly mean and competitive in games.

SHADOWHEART

5'6"

works at hot topic (emo)

just got out of the commune, full swing edgy phase and does NOT know how un-niche her music is yet (please don't tell her)(she might cry)

"adopted" by Shar's cult when she was little, doesn't remember much before or after that beyond what other members told her.

dissecting her faith.

roommates with Lae'zel. (they hate each other)

"roommates" with Lae'zel also. (they still hate each other) (kinda)

rps her fursona COOL CAT CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL online.

very afraid of wolves which does include sparkledogs and makes rp super difficult.

her favourite board game is catan or any ttrpg.

if asked, her coffee order is "black, like my tortured soul" but she actually gets a vanilla latte with extra syrup and sweet foam. (oat milk because regular makes her tummy hurt)

LAE'ZEL

5'7" and gods does she ever hold that extra inch over Shadowheart.

works as a personal trainer, her clients are scared of her which makes her VERY effective for the right people.

insults clients, perfectionist.

mommy issues x100

the creche has a very community/it takes a village style of raising but they do a really bad job.

she wants to be the BEST of her siblings, doesn't take failure well.

loves competitive solo sports, hiking, marathons, bouldering, boxing, etc. etc.

delights in pushing Shadowheart's buttons.

she doesn't drink coffee, her order is a smoothie.

willingly drinks the ones with kale like a CRAZY PERSON.

favourite board game is chess and while she is good at it she is a SORE loser.

WYLL

6'1"

used to work for avernus co. and now works a much quieter, mostly Mizora-free job at an elementary school.

the students favourite gym teacher.

estranged from his dad after a huge, explosive misunderstanding re: the very un-HR Mizora incident(s)

likes Go Fish and cribbage, but he's happy playing any board game the others suggest.

generally just happy to be here.

coffee of choice is an americano with a shot of apple cinnamon syrup.

loves knitting.

definitely not crushing on Astarion whaaat crazyyyy.....

his watch is from his dad. he looks at it when he misses him.

misses him a lot.

ASTARION

5'9"

former troubled teen kicked out by his rich parents.

Cazador was a "pastor" that took him under his wing and adopted him into his group home (for a price)

in debt to him now and can't outrun it.

has two jobs.

works at Olive Garden, HATES IT.

works at (insert coffee shop chain here) ALSO HATES IT.

somehow has a very popular aesthetic tumblr blog in the year of our lord 20XX

coffee order is an iced caramel latte (sometimes gets strawberry/cherry/raspberry syrup to make his pictures cooler)

his favourite board game is monopoly (he steals from the bank) but he DESPISES cheaters edition because that "takes all the fun out of it"

Wyll's feelings are mutual and he knows about them but he's too insecure to talk to Wyll about it (nerd)

GALE

5'11"

unemployed, formerly university librarian/professor.

is not over his ex, will not be over his ex for the foreseeable future.

eventually goes to a new university to teach tho.

zero rizz, this man uses mage hand to play wizard wonderwall while concentrating very hard and that makes him look constipated sorry Gale likers.

has a part time job at a Barnabus and Noblemans before going to the new university.

commissioned Wyll to make his sweater vest in affront-to-the-gods purple.

wrote some very prolific papers in the wizard community.

coffee order is matcha or a mocha

favourite board game is clue. he gets really into it.

[pendragon1400]

Modern BG3 head cannon, how each companion orders coffee.

Wyll: Regular coffee, with cream. If he's feeling in a good mood he'll ask for whipped cream. He is chatty with the barista, but in a kind and clausal way, always thanks them and makes sure to tip.

Karlach: Chocolate, anything that has the most chocolate. She askes the barista how their shift is going, and ends up ranting with them about how messed up their manager is.

Lae'zel: Black coffee, three espresso shots. Makes no small talk, and just aggressively stares at the barista making their coffee. But, she does tip well.

Astarion: The most random stuff on the menu, never orders the same thing twice in a row. Is it seasonal? He's getting it. Is it extra for an add on, charge it. He makes a show of learning the barista's names, and loves it if you give him co-worker drama. He tips well if you provide said drama.

Gale: Get ready for the most tailored drink order or just the most plain thing in the world. It's either gonna be a coffee, with three cream, two sugar, a small 1/2 tsp of chocolate, whipped cream with a light dusting of cinnamon. Or a black coffee to-go.

Shadowheart: Black coffee. She orders than waits for her drink scrolling her phone, leaves a decent tip.

Jaheria: Usually orders green tea and gives life advise, most of the time unprompted. She overhears someone fighting with their boyfriend, and she can and will go over and tell them to break up with said boyfriend until he can learn what he has in front of him.

Halsin: Always orders sweet drinks. Askes the barista how their day was, and if prompted with show of the several photos of his plants.

Minsc: Hot chocolate. Can and will bombard anyone around with photos of Boo until Jaheria reminds him that he has his drink and its time to leave.

Durge: I think Durge would have the most insane orders possible. Like they start off normal, like a large Coffee, but than they ask you to add, caramel, chocolate, stick a green tea bag in there, and add some of the fruit that is used for smoothies. They don't tip, they give tips in the worst advice anyone ever heard, like "Oh, here's your tip. Don't look both ways when crossing the street! Have a nice day!"

[cosmokrill]

More doodles, three Astarions and one Alaun with a bonus Astarion smoothie after my friend told me to blend him up. I said it would taste like red wine, dust, and the flavor of sucking on a fabric square of silk

[thatfreshi]

"Yeah, Besties" (Uni AU P. 11)

tw - slight mention of abuse

You and Astarion proceed to spend all your free time together, which isn't much for him, but it's nice in between the stresses of life. You go from barely being friends to almost inseparable, studying in his dorm and talking about nonsense. There's plenty of times when he has to disappear for miscellaneous modeling things, which he still doesn't really talk about, but you don't mind.

It's been about a week and a half since Astarion got back from LA, and things have been getting much better for everyone. Academics are picking up, sports are starting, and your little group of, 'friends,' has started to somewhat get along, which is a big relief. Since the seven of you are still working on that damned public speaking project, you meet up on Saturday to start discussing the presentation, but of course, you don't actually end up doing that. Besides, who goes to Starbucks and actually ends up studying?

"Ugh! Tav, I told you it was going to be far too busy here on a Saturday."

You roll your eyes at your white-haired friend.

"We're not even staying here, we're going over to the park across the street. Cool it broody."

He mocks you and you elbow him in the arm, making sure to be gentle about it in case there's some other 'scrape' he hasn't told you about.

"Can the two of you stop flirting and decide what you want please?"

Lae'zel is impatient, especially when it comes to caffeine.

"This? This is not flirting, we're like besties."

You throw Astarion a smile, and he responds, almost reluctantly.

"Yeah, besties."

You hear Gale and Shadowheart giggle to themselves somewhere in the back of the group, but you're not sure what about. Probably some bullshit they always find funny that no one else seems to understand. After some group discussion, Karlach decides to pay for everyone's drink, because oddly enough she's never been in a Starbucks.

"I don't know, I've just never gone! Drink a lot of protein smoothies, ya know? Coffee isn't really my thing."

Shadow of course is wrapped around Karlach's buff arm, and here's where someone would say that thing about sapphics and move-in vans on second dates. Eventually you all make up your minds. You get an iced coffee, something basic for your still-waking brain. The rest of the orders go as follows:

Astarion gets a caffè mocha, but asks for double the espresso, which you soon find out is six shots. You know from texting him this morning that he didn't sleep last night, and you're honestly not sure how he lives off of the amount of caffeine he drinks.

Karlach gets the dragon drink because she thinks it sounds cool.

Shadowheart orders a pink drink, blended, and proceeds to deal with intense teasing from Wyll about her edgy exterior. She yells at him about how she just like strawberries, and the aesthetic of her drink has nothing to do with how cool and mysterious she is.

Wyll then orders a chai latte, admitting he's never actually had coffee before after he was scared off of it as a kid.

Gale, like the classic man he is, goes with the caramel macchiato, but makes sure to ask three times that they're using almond milk, making a big deal about how his stomach will not handle it well if it's actual milk.

Lae'zel gets straight-up black coffee, hot. That's it. She doesn't add sugar, creamer, not even a little flavor, just hot black coffee.

So the baristas get to work on your myriad of drinks. You go to ask Astarion something, but quickly get interrupted by a stranger tapping you on the shoulder.

"Sorry, I just wanted to say, you are absolutely gorgeous. Mother Nature blessed us the day she made you."

You turn around to see a rather tall and built man. Your cheeks can't help but fill with red at the sincerity of the compliment you've just been given.

"Thank you! See, you guys really should worship my looks more."

"I know this might be strange, but I'd be honored to take you out sometime. Here's my number, you don't have to text me if you don't want to, but I just couldn't pass up this opportunity. Oh, and I'm Halsin, a pleasure to meet you."

This Halsin character soon walks off, leaving you with a receipt he's written his number on.

"Wow, and I thought I was a gentleman."

Wyll is clearly shocked by the sudden turn of events.

"Seriously, Tav you have to text him! What a heart throb."

Shadow eggs on the flirting that just occurred.

"I don't know, should I? What if he's like a weirdo."

"Oh c'mon, he seems so sweet! You'd be stupid to not at least give him a chance."

There are murmurs of support for Karlach's statement. Soon, your drinks are done, and your ragtag group starts to leave the building.

"I mean, he was maybe a little forward. And the line about 'Mother Nature?' Did he not have anything better?"

"We get it Astarion, you think you're a master flirt. Not everyone is as lusty as you are."

You don't see it, but Astarion proceeds to give Gale a solid middle finger, and Gale matches him. As much as everyone's getting better at getting along, those two still have some trouble.

"I don't know, maybe I should text him. I mean what's the harm?"

"I don't know, the possibility that he could be a serial killer freak?"

"Astarion, he's not a serial killer. There is literally no way the guy that came up to us is capable of murdering anything."

Shadowheart takes a drink of her pulverized fruity beverage in confidence.

"Alright fine, but if darling Tav gets murdered, don't blame me!"

"I mean c'mon Astarion, you hate every guy I'm interested in on the apps anyways."

It's true, because you've sat there and scrolled through Hinge with him far too many times, and everyone you've ever come across has received negative remarks from your pale friend.

"Because they're all weird! Besides, I find making a real-life connection is much more enticing."

"Says the guy who has never been in an actual relationship."

"You shut it Gale! This mystery woman is the first person you've ever been with, so you have no room to talk. Besides, I'm sure I've bed more people than you've ever laid eyes upon."

"Woah, cat fight. Calm down, you might scratch an eye out."

Wyll's comment earns a few laughs. The group eventually gets to the park across the street, finding a large shady tree to sit under. Astarion makes some off-hand comment about how his pants are too nice to be grass-stained, but he ends up joining the rest of you anyway.

"Okay Tav, so how do we craft this message to the hot nature guy? Because honestly I'd climb him like a tree if I could, you're lucky."

Shadowheart scooches next to you in order to brainstorm.

"Oh, so we're still on this? Great. I'll be over here, not thinking about the wannabe nudist."

"Come on Astarion, you have to help too! Shadow's too thirsty. I need a voice of reason."

He rolls his eyes, only obliging because you're the one asking.

"Fine. We will craft a text to this Halsin fellow."

While the others check their student email and actually do productive things, the three of you sit over your phone, wondering what to send to this hunky stranger. After Shadow and Astarion argue quite a bit, you settle on a sweet but intrigued message.

"Are you guys sure I should hit send? I don't know, what if he was kidding? Or it's like some prank?"

"Tav, if it was a prank I'll kill him."

Shadowheart agrees.

"I second Astarion, I would also kill him."

"Okay, fine! I'm doing it!"

You're a little giddy, excited that a stranger so kindly hit on you. It could've been creepy and weird, but he was so nice. With a slight tap, you've sent the message, and your phone emits a little whoosh noise. Little did you know, Gale had started texting Astarion while listening to your conversation.

~~~

gale_eats_paint: you should tell them

wannabe.vamp: tell them what ??

gale_eats_paint: that you like them. i can see you gritting your teeth all the way from here

wannabe.vamp: fuck off gale, you don't know what you're talking about

gale_eats_paint: alright, if you insist on being secretive that's fine. but i wouldn't wait around too long. also your @ is lame. what are you, a middle schooler?

wannabe.vamp: i'm literally albino AND anemic it could not make more sense

~~~

"Oh god, he responded!"

Astarion perks up from his phone, giving Gale a look across the shaded patch of grass. The artist simply gives him a concerned, yet discreet eyebrow raise. You read out the message, which asks if you'd be free this evening for a botanical garden tour.

"Aw, that's adorable! Tell him you're free!"

Karlach is now scrunched up next to you and Shadow.

"Thanks guys, this is so exciting! And what a cute first date idea, bringing someone to a garden? Oh, and Astarion, you have to help me plan my outfit, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

He rolls his eyes.

"Sure, since you asked so annoyingly, I will."

You go to wrap him in a grateful hug, which catches him severely off-guard.

"Thank you! You're the best Aster."

He almost questions the nickname, but decides to keep his mouth shut, because if this is the type of affection you're going to show him, he'll take it, no matter how small. Gale makes eye contact with him again though while you have him trapped in your warm embrace. While the two aren't particularly friendly, there's a sadness in Gale's eyes, knowing that Astarion won't speak up, no matter how much he wants to. Either way, he'll help you get ready for that date, even if it crushes him when you leave for the evening.

[venvellan]

if you put zevran dao and fenris da2 in a blender and add an extra portion of bloodlust and pixie dust you get an astarion smoothie. i would know. i've done it. it bit me and stole my wallet

[shewhowas39]

How does it feel to have published 80,000+ words of BG3 amazingness in a matter of months?

I absolutely LOVE your work. You have a style of writing that just glides through the brain like listening to music.

June is one of my favourite OC's I have ever come across, a durge as wholesome as apple pie, but also one smart cookie (we are doing food similes ok? She is not just Astarion's blood smoothie). ❤️

first off THANK YOU!!!!! especially for the compliment about June. i love her very much. she had a tragic ending in a tabletop game and it's been really lovely to give her new life via BG3, so i'm so, so happy to hear literally anyone connecting with her!

but to your actually question...how does it feel? hahahahaha. terrifying? almsot embarrassing? this game has consumed my brain on a level nothing has in years. i hadn't written fanfic in 15 years before this, and J&S is by far the longest fic i've written and it's barely getting started.

sometimes i have to remind myself i have work to do!!! but my work does not currently involve theatrical elven vampires or pretty goth clerics or handsome (literal) devils with a heart of gold so like....not as fun as BG3 fic.

but by far the best part of getting into this fandom and back into fic is the community. without going into detail, i do work in a professional writing space, but it's very solitary. where as fanfic has so much interaction between comments, kudos, and just gushing with the new friends you meet. there's nothing quite like it. and it's been so, so nice to just write for fun and chat with people about all these awesome characters we love without pressure.

so, in short, the degree of my brainrot is a tiny bit embarrassing, but i'm also enjoying myself so freaking much, and messages like this are EXACTLY why. thank you so, so much again for your lovely words (and yoru comments!) and i'm so excited to dive even deeper into this madness.

[iron-hearts-ablaze]

Gale: "What have you two got there?"

Karlach: "A smoothie?"

// Karlach left Gale at camp so she and Astarion can kill a monster hunter. They didn't think to hide the evidence. Trio run is a challenge but it has been so much fun.