#smart procedure
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Last night we were talking abt that one kind of limb transplant thing where if someone's an amputee (on such a way that their leg is compromised and their knee joint doesn't work anymore) their ankle joint can be turned backward and affixed to where their knee was to give them a working joint there. Like they won't have a foot anymore but their stump being able to bend like that allows for easier mobility and like walking with a prosthetic and stuff
And I was like "man I love stuff like that" and a friend of mine laughed at me for being a freak
#i think cool medical procedures are neat. thats some mad science but its smart and improves lives i love it#who woulda thought of that. 'just turn the ankle into a knee'. i love it
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I am intimidated by beautiful women lmao
#I know what y’all always say but I truly don’t see a beautiful woman when I look at myself#idk if that’s ever gonna change but I want it to and that’s why I consider cosmetic surgery and stuff..#but im smart and I know the reality is that those procedures do not give you the confidence you didn’t have before
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that said, as much as I've been struggling the past 48 hours or so, I have to admit that it has felt a little clarifying.
I've been playing the hell out of stardew valley, like I always do when I'm struggling with my PMDD, because the calming repetitive movements and bite-sized tasks (which induce the illusion of productivity) make it much easier to calm my mind and like...
I keep thinking "wouldn't it be nice to make something that soothes...?"
I felt a little embarrassed last night when I was writing about how I realized that AITNISTS would have meant the world to me when I was a queer, disabled teen feeling very broken and unlovable, and how now it almost feels like I'm writing bedtime stories for a ghost.
but... I think to some degree, that's nice, too... if I'm writing what soothes me, maybe it'll soothe someone else, too. making art that soothes people that feel broken... I think that would be nice. or... kind, at least. maybe.
it's something to aspire to, at least.
like sometimes I do feel this weird need to make something beautiful or complex or important but I guess "important" can mean a lot of different things, and so can "beautiful"...
I'm obviously never going to win any kind of literary prize with monsterfucking hurt/comfort but like. idk. maybe it's enough to write the kind of book that would have made me feel like I was capable of being loved and wanted when I was a kid.
especially if it helps anyone else now...
idk. it's a nice thought, at the very least.
#just me#vent post#kind of reminds me of when I met harvey guillen a few years ago and told me how wwdits got me through a rough medical procedure#and then a few months later got a message from someone saying that YTTT helped them through a rough medical procedure#and it felt... very gratifying and very full-circle I suppose#maybe that's the best thing you can do in the end#soothe the people who need it#when I was young I wanted to be smart and impressive but now I really do just want to be kind#baby steps#anyway please don't worry too much about me my doc okayed an additional dose of ket tonight#so I should start feeling a little less like uhhh this#unsure why I got a PMDD rebound like a week after my period started but these cramps don't lie lmao#definitely something weird and hormonal going on rn
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Thoroughly enjoyed and loved “Through the Darkness” and the production quality ⭐️ Fabulously performed, written and executed ✨👏🏽 (Special kudos to the actors performing the serial killers! They were skillfully villainous and horrifying!) 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Especially loved the filter/colours and the angling of the shots - which reminded me quite a bit of “The Guest” in terms of angles and staging choices - and how wonderfully they utilised that technique to make scenes more intimate and poignant, to highlight the stark - or stoically accepting - emotions of the characters❣️ The clean and “simple” framings were simply fantastic!
Loved all the characters and particularly supporting character journalist-Chae 😍🤩 So pretty and principled❤️🔥
But what is it with SBS crime dramas and their characters’ un-shippable vibes? 😅🤔 To paraphrase the title of a fascinating article, “Everyone is Beautiful and an ‘Aroace’ Super-workaholic”! (“Everyone is Beautiful and No One is Horny” by Blood Knife)
(Except for our illustrious Team Leader Kook, who was canonically, happily married - offscreen - with children! A rarity these days). Not saying that is an issue per se, but give this pathetic shipping fangirl some crumbs somewhere?!
I wanted to ship someone so badly - for headcanon’s sake - but they made it so difficult 🤪🧐 (Not that I watched these type of shows - I know there will be none - for the romance/chance at shipping but still…)
I encountered this similar problem with “Nobody Knows”, and I am quite sure the performers not being my preferences (or fanciable to me) is NOT the only reason I had a hard time trying to come up with shipping feels, because I had a bit of shipping fun - as ephemeral as it was - with “The Good Detective” and most of the performers were not inspiring much feels either, but I still definitively shipped them while watching the drama. That said, I much prefer TtD as a show than TGD though both are excellent in different ways.
Ah, made me miss “The Guest” and the feels - and fixation - they inspired and provoked ❤️🔥😭 Also made me appreciate and thankful for the production even more each turn❣️ (I love TG for the writing, commentaries and stories too, not just the “other things” 😅🥰🥹☺️)
#through the darkness#KDrama#crime drama#cerebral procedural drama#smart and thought provoking#but the lack of any shipping vibes 😭😔😩#fabulous performances and directing#loved the cinematography and angled shots#reminds me quite a bit of The Guest#but made me miss Kang Gil Young#and The Guest more#The Guest and Kang Gil Young#my loves ❤️🔥🥹#few shows made being traumatized as sexy as ‘The Guest’ 😆#the way trauma was portrayed in TG was especially compelling#am biased obviously but still quite a valid opinion I think 😆🤪#my recent diet of crime shows made me miss KGY even more than normal#no one does a mad dog detective quite like Kang Gil Young#she had her own unique takes on this archetype/type of character#and absolutely gorgeous while being a ‘bulldog’ character 😍🥰🤩
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im so tempted to dye my hair purple but i currently have super faded green/light blue hair and the last time i slapped a bunch of ourple on it it turned fucking. gray.
#pspsping mutuals who are more knowledgeable in hair dying procedures#i dont wanna bleach my hair at all bc its already very dead from my previous bleaching#i was also thinking of using up the rest of my various reds to try and make it purple but i think that would end up really bad#the smart and sensible thing to do would be to do a test strand of a purple and red and see what happens#but i am impatient and impulsive.
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every time someone at work mentions AI or I see it in an email subject line my spirit dies just a little bit more. I'm so tired, boss.
#//juri speaks#i stepped out of IT into librarianship thinking if i avoided going into tech services i'd be good#and it was like sideshow bob stepping on a rake#the worst is that AI is just used as a catchall term for fucking anything nowadays#and everyone assumes it's like a halo smart AI and it's just like ''no thats just procedural logic''#or ''no thats just automated output formatting''#im so so so tired. i just wanna help people find things#i dont wanna be hit in the head with the AI rake 24/7 both personally and professionally
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Apparently I can't go two months without seeing "created by Jeff Davis" in a title screen because im back to watching Criminal Minds
#its not my fave cop procedural#but i needed to shake it up between leverage episodes#how is criminal minds so smart and teen wolf so dumb#also i think jeff has silly little guy disease where he has to out a silly little guy in every show#and he doesn't know what a woman is#jeff only did the first 3 seasons which im assuming the show actually gets good AFTER that point#clare screams
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i've given in to the sheer amount of crossover fics in the batman tag and started white collar. im kind of surprised how obsessed i am already.
like halfway through the pilot episode and i've got a funny little art guy who loves funny little hats. a queer woman of color who actually seems to have an important role in the show. a tired old man. and the tired old man's wife who talks about the criminal he spent three years hunting like he's their rambunctious dog or something
#blu talks#im loving the vibes their relationship is giving off like professionally hes a criminal but personally theyve kinda known each other#for years and hes sending him birthday cards to be a little shit#and when peter talks to his wife about him theyre like ah you know neal hes smart hes young hes in love#like he literally calls him neal i dont know fbi procedure but are they usually all first name basis with their criminals#its funny to me#i also love a funky guy who knows art i miss jacob stone every day so neal caffrey is filling a void
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.
#it's also fairly annoying constantly seeing people treat ai as like a binary event horizon deal#like ok you think chatgpt's illegitimacy is fundamental rather than a matter of its implementation? it wasn't developed out of nowhere#so hope you also demonize like swipe keyboard and autocorrect/suggest because it's essentially just the extremely fancy version of those#ai art's? cool take any digital pieces that used bucket fill/smart snap lasso out of your portfolio then let alone ones w procedural filter#idk fam i am just extremely fed up w these debates on my dash esp w the constant throwing of programmers' labor under the bus in all this#like say what you will about whatever rando throws 'a new van gogh piece' into a prompt box but how about we don't devalue the incredibly#complex thought and work behind theorizing and applying statistical models into fully operational form as some soulless farce actually#'they shouldn't be automating creative labor when they could be automating the manual' they're not automatons with no interests/preferences#why should you be getting to do creative rather than manual labor then?#why does your skillset's profitable demand deserve protection but manual laborers' can get fucked?#change is often terrifying for the imaginable and actual harms it may do you#but it is nonetheless inevitable and adaptation will generally be infinitely more effective than reactionism#for later reference
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NO LITERALLY bc like first of all, regardless of the source media, the idea of "I'm observing romantic/sexual tension between these 2 male characters but for some reason I don't believe either of them just ARE attracted to men innately let alone gay, they're both straight men and just each other's exceptions" is... deeply naive at best. lol. but then yeah, exactly, succession is the LAST media where that shit could POSSIBLY apply. it's a show ABOUT masculinity and the framework of gender and class! tom and greg only even form a friendship to begin with because of them both being gay outsiders in the corporate environment! their homosexuality is not a random headcanon or even happenstance; it's integral to their characters and inextricable from the plot. you're like willfully missing a huge chunk of the whole goddamn show if you see the fact that they're both men as incidental to their relationship or in and of itself the main obstacle between them being together, rather than Literally The Point and the fact that repression due to homophobic society is the thing keeping them from being together. bc if one of them was a woman, they'd be an entirely different character, the whole dynamic would be different, and quite frankly it just wouldn't be a relationship at all bc these men are fucking gay lol
yes tom and greg have a complicated relationship but it's not complicated in the way that it like. "transcends the bounds of sexuality" or whatever like it's literally just that their dynamic is affected by very unique external stressors. honestly jokes aside tom isn't even "psychosexually obsessed" nearly as much as he is simply attracted to and in love with greg while also being repressed/a total closet case about it
#also i'll put the finger on it: internalized homophobia as well as simply living life as a straight person#makes people unwilling to see characters as actually gay unless it's spelled out and in their face#and of course this combined with being young and having minimal life experience or media literacy#makes people think of sexuality as something that exists in a vacuum rather than. yknow#something that is fundamentally a part of you and impacts your life and personality#and with succession it's just especially wild to see some ppl engage with it like they would some early 00s police procedural#like this is a SMART show what are you doing lol#mine
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Chapter 3 of Blurr’s storyline in Mecha AU!
Previous chapter
“Speaking of Mechs.” continues Blurr, ”That thing's evacuation system sucks. What if you were stunned by the fall? What if something short-circuits and starts a fire???”
Swindle just clenches the glass in his hands. Feels the cold moisture of condensation dripping down onto his fingers.
“Then I'd burn.” he doesn't say
Under the cut⤵️
——————————————————
It's Swindle's birthday.
He thinks it is.
He's pretty sure.
Since he was taken into the program, it's always hard to tell. It's like time flows differently here. He had a calendar, but Brawl put it somewhere a while ago and then forgot where it was. And they're not allowed to have phones yet. Though Swindle assumes Onslaught managed to steal one from someone anyway.
Shit. Where's the calendar?
Swindle remembers the date, but can't remember the month.
There's a strange static tingling sensation in the back of his head. If he turns his head too fast, it'll grow into an unpleasant pricking pain.
The last time in the lab was disgusting.
He can't remember what month it is. He's not even sure why it bothers him so much. Not that birthdays mean anything within the walls of the program.
He stops in the middle of the living room and looks around with a meticulous eye. He's already checked the beds, desk, and nightstands...hah.
“Hey have any of you seen my calendar?”
Vortex, sitting on top of the bunk bed shakes the ash off his cigarette right down into Blast Off's lap.
“Nope.”
“TEX YOU'RE LITTERING ON MY BED.”
“I could have ..torn it up” offers Brawl from across the room.
Swindle turns on his heels and angrily rests his arms at his sides.
“You tore it?”
“I might have,” Brawl scratches the back of his head.
Swindle pinches the bridge of his nose
That's fine. Not that he cares that much. Not that any celebration at all would save the crappy day.
He has some new “experimental” medical procedure scheduled for later, which generally means suffering. Or if he's lucky, some critter will attack the city and instead of squirming on the slab, he'll have to go cuddle with huge nasty beasts. Which is slightly better than the actual procedures. He'd like that to happen. If only his head would also stop buzzing....
“Happy birthday to me” Swindle thinks, sticking his Mech hand under the plates of a particularly ugly monster and pulling something disgustingly oozing green blood out of there. He can see the faces of the random gawkers who didn't have time to evacuate. Ooh, some of them got that nasty stuff on their faces. Swindle has no time to feel sorry for them.
The monster did attack, but it's entirely possible that this monster ended the last meager supply of luck Swindle had. Because somewhere. Something. In his head begins to hurt again and the world in front of his eyes begins to slowly blur and..
ahh FUCK….
The monster grabs him knocks him to the ground and Swindle can literally feel in his bones that something's wrong, but the data from his Mech doesn't give him any useful information. Which isn't that uncommon. These things are glitchy as hell and aren't designed to recognize anything but the most basic popular malfunctions.
The word “error” shines mockingly in his face. Blurring in his eyes and reflecting in red on his uniform.
Error, error, what the hell is this error. He needs to know what's wrong so he doesn't accidentally kill himself, but all this bucket offers him is oops. You're in trouble teeheee~
He can hear the sound of Blast Off's giant cannon in the distance. And the loud rumble where Vortex and Onslaught are trying to get out of the ring of monsters.
His Mech is unresponsive. His damn machine refuses to move and Swindle isn't quite sure if it's the Mech that's the problem, because his head feels like a piece of raw rotten meat and maybe the error meant that what's broken is him.
The monster leans over him, trying to rip off whatever it can rip off and thank god this thing apparently isn't smart enough to realize that the Mech is controlled from the head because it's aiming straight for his chest.
He needs to get out. If he can't get this thing to move, he needs to get the fuck out of it before the alien gets him.
He manages to open the emergency hatch and quietly slip out and ohhhh the world is spinning, this is not bloody good.
He manages to take a few steps before a loud B A N G comes from somewhere above and IS THAT A TRAIN???? Who in their right mind would think of using a fucking train as a throwing weapon???? Is that Brawl? It's got to be Brawl. Oh, Swindle is so gonna kill him.
Because (sadly) in addition to the monster, the train and Swindle, there's also physics involved in this circus.
So while the monster is effectively brought to rest and knocked sideways with a hole in it’s head, the train stops its forward motion and starts its downward motion.
Right onto Swindle's head.
He just has time to think that dying from a train falling out of the sky is a pretty creative death. His legs are shaking, his head is buzzing and he only manages to take half a sluggish step in an attempt to avoid the inevitable when a loud “MOVE” comes to his ears and something yanks him to the side.
The tug sends fire down his spine and head. The ensuing landing reverberates with pain in his shoulder and sides. He barely has time to process the first two sensations until a moment later he hears a rumble so deafening that he thinks his eardrums are about to burst.
Swindle props himself up on his elbows and hisses in pain as the movement causes the back of his head to sting.
“Ah I'll fuckin' kill him...”
A voice comes above him
“Ouw dude. You okay?”
There's.. Some teenager hovering over him. And behind him is lying...the wrecked train...right where Swindle himself was standing a second ago.
The strange teen frowns worriedly and pulls Swindle upright and drags him somewhere else
“Come on, it's best not to be in the open during monster attacks”
“Ah” thinks Swindle ”right. Without Mech you're a pathetic tiny piece of chop begging to be stomped on by Brawl.”
He tries to focus on balance so he doesn't hang too much on this kid.
They find the nearest unlocked door, which turns out to be the entrance to an underground bar.
“So” says the stranger, letting go of Swindle and shaking the dust off his hair ” You're a pilot! That's so cool, but you're kinda small for a pilot.”
Swindle sighs sullenly.
“I'll let you have that one comment about my height because you helped me, but next time you're dead.”
“Helped? I saved your ass.”
“Helped a lot” says Swindle grudgingly. “Thanks.”
The teen laughs and climbs into the bar. It's a mess everywhere, people clearly evacuated in a hurry and threw everything in haste.
“What's your name? Oh, or, wait. Do you guys use code names? I've heard pilots call each other by call signs, but half the time those call signs sound so dumb, I don't see how they can respond to that.”
He waits for the kid to cut off his flow of words to take a breath. Man, what a chatty boy.
“You can call me Swindle.”
“Kay” the kid pulls out a couple glasses ”I'm Blurr. Would you like something Swindle? I don't mean to brag, but I'm pretty good at mixing cocktails.”
Swindle looks around the room suspiciously. The bar, even though it's underground, looks pretty good. Too good, in fact. The place is clearly not for the poor.
He walks over to the bar and climbs onto a bar stool. There's no one else in here but them, but the electricity is on so he doesn't doubt for a second that they're being filmed by a security camera right now. Maybe a few even.
Blurr throws him an expectant look.
Swindle pretends to go through his pockets. As if there could be money in them out of nowhere. Then he makes a comically confused face and spreads his hands.
“Oh, no, I think I left my millions at home. What's the cheapest thing you have?”
Blurr snorts.
“Ice is free.”
“I'll take the ice then” nods Swindle.
There is a loud rumbling sound above them. It must be Vortex having fun again bouncing on the aliens that have fallen to the ground, crushing their heads.
Swindle is just. He takes off his helmet, takes a glass of ice and presses it to his head enjoying the way the nasty buzzing recedes.
Blurr waits for the rumbling to recede before speaking again.
“But really. You're a pilot but...uh. Are you even old enough to drink?”
Swindle sends him his best grumpy look. It's not exactly a joke about his height, but it's damn close.
“Are you old enough to pour?”
“Sure,” says Blurr too fast for it to be true. If Swindle had to guess, he'd say the guy in front of him is no older than seventeen. The tattered jeans and the T-shirt with the F1 logo printed on it definitely don't help. And, hey, those headphones look very expensive. So do the sneakers. Kid's clearly from a wealthy family.
Blurr pulls out a bottle of syrup from somewhere and pours it straight into his mouth. Doesn't miss, which is amusing. Doesn't wince, which is frankly impressive. Swindle feels the unbearable sweetness just looking at him.
It suddenly hits him
“Hey, do you have a phone?”
“Sure,” Blurr pours himself more syrup. Swindle twitches.
“What's the day today?”
Blurr's mouth is full of an unimaginable amount of sugar, so he just pulls out his phone and turns its screen toward Swindle and oh...oh. He was wrong about the date. And the month, too. It's not his birthday. His birthday was a week ago...
Does that mean he must be nineteen now? Yeah, that makes him nineteen.
Blurr takes the phone back and slips it into his pocket.
“Your face looks funny.”
“I just realized it's my birthday today,” smiles Swindle.
“Oooooooohh~~~” rejoices Blurr ”Congratulations! It's kind of poetic that you almost died just today. Can you imagine how funny the numbers on your tombstone would have looked.”
Swindle chokes on air.
“That's certainly a very appropriate comment, thank you...”
“Sorry haha said without thinking.” Blurr reaches under the counter again and pulls out a bottle from there “Hey, they have more syrups!”
There's another loud rumble from upstairs.
Blurr presses his head into his shoulders and stares up at the ceiling as if hoping to see something through it.
Swindle puts his elbows and head on the tabletop
“Don't worry, it's just Brawl.”
Blurr doesn't take his eyes off the ceiling
“ You can tell that by the sound of falling concrete?”
Swindle lazily dangles his feet. The chair is high and even the toes of his shoes don't reach the floor.
“Brawl is the loudest. And the heaviest, too. He's always crashing into everything, throwing things and breaking things too. You can hear him a mile away.”
He pauses to listen
“And that kch-ooooooooomm is Blast Off's cannon. It's some super rare experimentally advanced one, so it sounds like something out of a space movie. He couldn't stop bragging about it for half a year when he got it.”
Blurr chuckles and leans his elbows on the counter, relaxing.
“ And this...uh...what's this?”
“That's Vortex, he's our local lunatic. Best not to listen too much to what he does, it's almost always disgusting in ways you would never even consider.”
Blurr makes a disgruntled face and is silent for a couple minutes.
“It's weird hearing you call them by their names. I mean, I kind of always knew Mechs were run by people but you guys are never seen, so most of the time it's just.. Huge robots and huge monsters. You know what I mean. I was actually surprised when I saw you get out of that Mech.”
Swindle just nods. Because, what else is there to add.
“Speaking of Mechs.” continues Blurr, ”That thing's evacuation system sucks. What if you were stunned by the fall? What if something short-circuits and starts a fire???”.
Swindle just clenches the glass in his hands. Feels the cold moisture of condensation dripping down onto his fingers
“Then I'd burn.” he doesn't say
Blurr doesn't seem to notice his glum mood
“Oh, hey. If it's no secret, why did you go into piloting in the first place?”
Because he had no choice? He can't answer that, that information isn't for civilians.
Because he didn't know what he was getting into until it was too late? That's not vague enough either.
Because he was up to his neck in debt and barely into college before a smiling man showed up on his doorstep and offered him good money if he agreed to a couple tests...?
“I had to do it for the people.” Swindle decides to repeat a line of propaganda.
“Ohhhh.... That's...a good reason. The monsters are disgusting, of course. But the reason is cool.”
Swindle just. Holds his glass of melting ice, listens to Blurr's mutterings, and enjoys the peace. This random teenager is not his superior or colleague and has nothing to do with the organization at all. Swindle doesn't have to remember to salute or follow orders or fear being reported to his superiors.
He can just. Be.
Just him and his free ice and his saved for free life.
That's. Sweet.
Blurr's drinking syrup again.
...and a little disgusting.
—————————-
Brawl jumps out of bed, hits his head on a shelf hanging on the wall and drops everything on it onto Blast Off's head
“Swindle!!!” yells Brawl.
“Why are these books sticky???” shrieks Blast Off.
“You don't wanna know~” giggles Vortex.
Swindle sighs.
“You're alive!!!” ignores Blast Off Brawl's complaints. And a second later runs up and pulls Swindle off the floor in a crushing bear hug.
Behind them, Blast Off, with his face wrinkled in disgust, gathers all the dropped books back onto the shelf.
Swindle wheezes pathetically and slaps Brawl's arm with his palm, either to reciprocate the gesture or to beg for mercy
“Br...khaaaaah...Brawl I can't breathh.”
“OH. I'm uh. Here. Wait.”
Brawl puts him back on the floor and runs back to the shelf.
Onslaught, who has peeked into the room, puts a hand on Swindle's shoulder
“You've been gone a long time. Boss said you tried to escape.”
His tone isn't judgmental. And not pressuring. Not even questioning, but Swindle knows Onslaught wants more information. Swindle clutches a piece of napkin with a phone number in his pocket and smiles weakly.
“I've found a...friend? I think?”
Onslaught nods. In a manner that only he knows how to do. Not giving an opinion, not encouraging or condemning. Just taking in the information. Swindle admires him for that.
Behind them, Brawl pulls some piece of paper out from under the books that have just been put away and drops them again
“FUCK!” yells Blast Off. Vortex just starts hooting like a hyena.
“Hey Swindle I found the calendar!” yells Brawl waving the paper.
Swindle frowns in surprise.
“It's a different calendar...”
“I found you a new one.” nods Brawl.
“...Why...is it...it's torn in half?”
“It had stupid flowers drawn on it, so I ripped them off. And I accidentally ripped off more than I needed.”
“Ah,” says Swindle, clutching the calendar, ”That's...Thanks. I forgive you for losing the previous one.”
Behind them, Blast Off is trying to strangle Vortex with a jacket.
------------
Blurr waves his arms happily like a hyperactive windmill.
“Swindle!!!”
Swindle smiles and adjusts his glasses
“Your party can be seen from across city.”
“I know~~” primps Blurr “Are you hungry? There was a snack table around here somewhere.”
“I didn't bring any money.” lies Swindle.
“Hey man, it's a party. Help yourself, it's free.”
“Оh.” Swindle's mood instantly brightens. “All right, then.”
“You look terrible” Blurr decides to share.
Swindle, busy shoveling food into his pockets, nods.
“I've had a rough week. Actually, it'd be cool if you didn't tell anyone you saw me here. I'm kind of not supposed to be here.”
He doesn't elaborate.
Blurr is a civilian. In his mind, a rough week is rude people or an exam or bad weather. Swindle's bad week is strap marks on his wrists and double vision. It's nausea from injections and sleepless nights because Vortex won't stop screaming in his sleep.
Blurr doesn't know that. With him, Swindle can pretend to be somewhat normal.
-----------
“Heeeeey“ says Blurr ‘I haven't seen you in a long time~"
“That” thinks Swindle ”is a pretty standard phrase for both of them.
Blurr looks older. Taller too. He was taller than Swindle before, but now that difference is starting to look almost comical. He's also flaunting a cast on his arm.
“Did you get hurt?”
“Didn't make a turn at training” waves Blurr off “It's no big deal. Wanna go find something to eat?”
Blurr is always trying to feed him, Swindle notices over time. Offers him drinks or snacks or whatever.
“ I like your uh..cap?”
“I got a promotion” Swindle smiles proudly “Me and the guys were made a special group...actually you're not allowed to know more than that, so you'll have to take my word for it when I say we are officially cool.”
He purposely adjusts his cap by the brim so Blurr can get a good look at it.
Blurr makes a delighted sound. Something between a “wow” and a giggle. He generally makes a lot of sounds all the time. Tapping his fingers on every hard surface, stomping in place like he's always late for something, laughing, whistling, clicking his tongue. A human orchestra.
__________
Onslaught sits down next to Swindle and clutches his hands in his lap in front of him. This makes the bed legs squeak pitifully. Onslaught has grown surprisingly large. He can almost rival Brawl in height already. Most people find that intimidating, but Swindle just thinks Onslaught is like a wall. A big, solid concrete wall that's so good to hide behind.
“Be careful with what you tell this guy.”
“Don't worry” says Swindle ”He's not the type of friend you tell secrets to. He's just a fun dude who's great to hang out with.”
Onslaught hums.
“And who feeds you for free.”
“If that's how you're trying to ask me to share, you're not doing a very good job.”
Vortex snaps his fingers as he walks past them
“Hey Swindler, the lab is closed for today. It's your day off.”
“Wha...”
Onslaught tilts his head.
“Vortex. What did you do?”
“I spat in their dna sample vault” proudly proclaims Vortex “and didn't tell them exactly where.”
-----———————-
Blurr frowns.
“Hey...are you okay?”
“No” thinks Swindle.
“My friend died” he says instead.
He's not okay. He feels like an animal caught in a beartrap, trying to chew off its own paw to get free.
Except the trap is closed around Swindle's head and it's not a body part he can afford to lose.
There's been a lot of talk. Even more rumors. Swindle listened but tried not to believe.
And then one of pilots, Shockwave… was taken to the lab and brought back a different damn man and it felt like Swindle had the rug pulled out from under his feet with hot coals underneath.
Because Swindle's boss, with his stupid, rehearsed smile, started writing reports about how “human personality flaws are something that can be fixed. That challenging behavior is something that can be repaired with tools.
Blurr freezes.
“Who?”
“Vortex.”
Because of course it's Vortex. Talented but difficult to handle. Powerful but uncontrollable.
They wanted a pilot who would be a beast on the battlefield and a loyal dog on base. And who else would be a more ideal test subject than him?
Vortex was being very rude that day, even by Vortex standards. Yelling and swearing and throwing things around. Kept saying that no shitty lab could make him “a fucking puppet.”
Scratching the stitches on his head until he started leaving a trail of blood behind him.
He went on a mission.
And never came back.
The reports said it was all the monsters' fault. That Vortex was unstable. That the accident had nothing to do with the new technology. But it was nevertheless suspended.
Swindle is both bitter and amused by this. Vortex would eat the same monsters for breakfast any other day. The bastard was unkillable.
“Oh my god” says Blurr “I'm so sorry to hear that.”
He says something else. Probably comforting. About how Vortex died protecting people, maybe. About Vortex being a hero.
“Vortex,” thinks Swindle, ”loved life. He loved adrenaline and danger and pain and thrill and fear, but he never wanted to die. They did something to him. Something that made him go over the edge.”
Vortex got his head in the trap and ripped it off to escape it.
Swindle knows him and the others are next. And knows that no one but themselves can help them.
---------------------------
Blast Off seems...very quiet. He could never stop complaining about Vortex before. Yelling about the garbage. Resenting the unmade bed and the cigarette ashes.
Vortex's bed remains unmade.
Blast Off regularly cleans everything up, but never wipes away the little circles of ash from the places where Vortex used to put out cigarettes on the furniture.
Onslaught puts his hand on Swindle's shoulder and squeezes. Not hard. Just enough for Swindle to register the gesture as important.
Standing nearby, Blast Off lights a cigarette and leans on Onslaught.
“Ons told me about your plan. I want to join in.”
“What kind of plan? Can I get involved?” inquires Brawl.
Onslaught sighs.
“Repeat after me - I don't know, they don't tell me anything.”
“I don't know, they don't tell me anything.”
“Good job” nods Onslaught “From now on, every time they ask you any - listen. Any! Question about us, you will answer them with this phrase.”
“Got it,” grins Brawl.
Swindle smiles.
“Gentlemen, it's time to violate all that is written, and rewrite all that is violated.”
__________________
Blurr lazily takes his eyes off the phone. He's wearing a racing suit and tons of hairspray. He's shiny and gleaming like a fine collectible figurine that should be on the shelf of an expensive exhibit. He's also bored.
“Sorry buddy, the interview is long over, if you have any questions you'll have to pay for the session.”
Swindle smiles.
“How about one tiny little question?”
Blurr makes funny big eyes.
“SWINDLE!!! I haven't seen you in a thousand years! You...oh I didn't recognize you haha sorry. Nice coat. You quit being a pilot?”
Swindle proudly adjusts his glasses. He's wearing a brand-new, ironed shirt that's exactly his size. Nice neat tie, expensive coat. Swindle isn't surprised Blurr didn't recognize him immediately. Sometimes he looks in the mirror and doesn't recognize himself. After all those years of wearing the pilot's uniform, he felt almost attached to it. And yet here he is.
“You could say I moved.” he winks snarkily, “Up. All the Mechs you see on the streets now are my Mechs~”
Blurr completely forgets about his phone.
“REALLY?? Oh man congrats to you!”
“Thanks” nods Swindle ”You want something to drink? I'm buying.”
———————-
Onslaught adjusts his tie. It's still, years later, a little strange to see him in a uniform instead of a pilot's suit.
“You do realize it's going to be hard to find a person like that, right? We need someone famous enough to be effective and dumb enough to want to save mankind instead of sunbathing on a yacht.”
Swindle adjusts his glasses and leans back in his chair.
Someone outgoing so they can quickly befriend all the right people. Handsome enough to have their face printed on a poster. Smart just enough not to say too much. And not associated with Mecha program so they can't be accused of trying to get promoted through their acquaintances.
Someone who already has everything but still willing to put themselves at risk for the cause.
“You know, I think I have a possible candidate.”
#maccadam#tf mecha universe#mecha writing#mecha kef writing#mecha bs writing#mecha cbc writing#Blurr#Swindle#Onslaught#Vortex#Brawl#Blast Off#this one is kinda Swindle centric#I just wanted to give more context for his friendship with Blurr:)#Also some Vortex lore
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The conversation around AI is going to get away from us quickly because people lack the language to distinguish types of AI--and it's not their fault. Companies love to slap "AI" on anything they believe can pass for something "intelligent" a computer program is doing. And this muddies the waters when people want to talk about AI when the exact same word covers a wide umbrella and they themselves don't know how to qualify the distinctions within.
I'm a software engineer and not a data scientist, so I'm not exactly at the level of domain expert. But I work with data scientists, and I have at least rudimentary college-level knowledge of machine learning and linear algebra from my CS degree. So I want to give some quick guidance.
What is AI? And what is not AI?
So what's the difference between just a computer program, and an "AI" program? Computers can do a lot of smart things, and companies love the idea of calling anything that seems smart enough "AI", but industry-wise the question of "how smart" a program is has nothing to do with whether it is AI.
A regular, non-AI computer program is procedural, and rigidly defined. I could "program" traffic light behavior that essentially goes { if(light === green) { go(); } else { stop();} }. I've told it in simple and rigid terms what condition to check, and how to behave based on that check. (A better program would have a lot more to check for, like signs and road conditions and pedestrians in the street, and those things will still need to be spelled out.)
An AI traffic light behavior is generated by machine-learning, which simplistically is a huge cranking machine of linear algebra which you feed training data into and it "learns" from. By "learning" I mean it's developing a complex and opaque model of parameters to fit the training data (but not over-fit). In this case the training data probably includes thousands of videos of car behavior at traffic intersections. Through parameter tweaking and model adjustment, data scientists will turn this crank over and over adjusting it to create something which, in very opaque terms, has developed a model that will guess the right behavioral output for any future scenario.
A well-trained model would be fed a green light and know to go, and a red light and know to stop, and 'green but there's a kid in the road' and know to stop. A very very well-trained model can probably do this better than my program above, because it has the capacity to be more adaptive than my rigidly-defined thing if the rigidly-defined program is missing some considerations. But if the AI model makes a wrong choice, it is significantly harder to trace down why exactly it did that.
Because again, the reason it's making this decision may be very opaque. It's like engineering a very specific plinko machine which gets tweaked to be very good at taking a road input and giving the right output. But like if that plinko machine contained millions of pegs and none of them necessarily correlated to anything to do with the road. There's possibly no "if green, go, else stop" to look for. (Maybe there is, for traffic light specifically as that is intentionally very simplistic. But a model trained to recognize written numbers for example likely contains no parameters at all that you could map to ideas a human has like "look for a rigid line in the number". The parameters may be all, to humans, meaningless.)
So, that's basics. Here are some categories of things which get called AI:
"AI" which is just genuinely not AI
There's plenty of software that follows a normal, procedural program defined rigidly, with no linear algebra model training, that companies would love to brand as "AI" because it sounds cool.
Something like motion detection/tracking might be sold as artificially intelligent. But under the covers that can be done as simply as "if some range of pixels changes color by a certain amount, flag as motion"
2. AI which IS genuinely AI, but is not the kind of AI everyone is talking about right now
"AI", by which I mean machine learning using linear algebra, is very good at being fed a lot of training data, and then coming up with an ability to go and categorize real information.
The AI technology that looks at cells and determines whether they're cancer or not, that is using this technology. OCR (Optical Character Recognition) is the technology that can take an image of hand-written text and transcribe it. Again, it's using linear algebra, so yes it's AI.
Many other such examples exist, and have been around for quite a good number of years. They share the genre of technology, which is machine learning models, but these are not the Large Language Model Generative AI that is all over the media. Criticizing these would be like criticizing airplanes when you're actually mad at military drones. It's the same "makes fly in the air" technology but their impact is very different.
3. The AI we ARE talking about. "Chat-gpt" type of Generative AI which uses LLMs ("Large Language Models")
If there was one word I wish people would know in all this, it's LLM (Large Language Model). This describes the KIND of machine learning model that Chat-GPT/midjourney/stablediffusion are fueled by. They're so extremely powerfully trained on human language that they can take an input of conversational language and create a predictive output that is human coherent. (I am less certain what additional technology fuels art-creation, specifically, but considering the AI art generation has risen hand-in-hand with the advent of powerful LLM, I'm at least confident in saying it is still corely LLM).
This technology isn't exactly brand new (predictive text has been using it, but more like the mostly innocent and much less successful older sibling of some celebrity, who no one really thinks about.) But the scale and power of LLM-based AI technology is what is new with Chat-GPT.
This is the generative AI, and even better, the large language model generative AI.
(Data scientists, feel free to add on or correct anything.)
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Ok can I request something maybe out there. but sedation kink with doctor Joel. like I’m kind of into the idea of doctor/scientist prepping me for an exam or study and putting me under, reassuring and stroking my face because I’ve never been under anesthesia before and he wipes my few tears as I drift off. then he’s fondling me, putting my legs in stirrups, and observing my reactions to different stimuli like fingers, a brush, vibrator, mouth, putting cooling/tingly cream on my nipples/clit, etc., as I’m out and making notes and taking polaroids of my reactions like little twitches and noises, how wet I get, if my nipples react (if he can make me cum by just my nipples) edging me and im making little tired whines but eventually making me cum a few times while I’m out and he’s just watching what happens from down there and talking into his little mic that’s recording all this. then if I start to come to too early he tuts and asks if I want to stay under and I’m still out of it but drowsily say yes because I’m confused but feels good and he (safely) gives me some a little bit more of sedation just enough to keep me in that floaty place and starts fucking me so good that I actually come to while he’s inside and I fully come to as he’s removing the monitors and telling me how good I was for him and asking if it felt good and he’s giving me some water and kissing me telling me it’s okay to sleep because I’m still tired as he cleans me up so he can take us both home.
A Doctor’s Care
Doctor!Joel Miller x F!Reader
Nonny, you practically wrote this yourself. Please give yourself a massive pat on the back, because this was a fantastic idea. I've been foaming at the mouth about it for months (I'm so sorry It took so long!) Hope you're still around to read this!
Warnings : virgin!Reader, corrupt!doctor, corruption kink, sedation kink, non-con, oral, throat fucking, squirting, sex toys, nipple play, unprotected sex, kinda DDDNE-ish , groping, slight breeding kink, pussy pronouns, foot fetish, uhhhh please lmk if I'm missing anything
18+ ONLY
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“Now, you can start counting up to ten.”
You take a deep breath, trying you best to ignore the needle he had just inserted into your arm. “One, two, th-three, fooour, f-fi…”
He softly brushes your smoothed cheek, watching as your eyelids sag, the heavy lure of sleep washing over your entire body. Your muscles sink into the bed, eyes barely being able to close fully. You had never felt more relaxed. Up to this point, you were an axnious mess, but you knew you were in the good, trustworthy hands of Doctor Miller.
A stray tear wells up, threatening to spill. He smiles warmly and brushes it away for you. He doesn’t want to see you cry when you don’t even know why.
If you were a little more observant, you would have questioned why it was only Dr Miller moving forward with an anesthesia-induced operation. Typically there’s always more than one practitioner in the room. You would have wondered why nobody else was in the hospital at all.
He told you he could make a special booking for your physical exam, just the two of you, to help alleviate any anxiety about the scary aura of a hospital, the sick people roaming around and watching, peeping in through the doors. He made sure you were the only one here today, to help you get comfortable and have nothing to worry about.
Of course, it is Sunday. Nobody operates on Sunday. The hospital was completely empty save for his office and this room.
Not only is this out of standard procedure, this was off the books.
This was illegal, and you had no idea.
“Dr. Miller, log 47,” he says into his little recorder. “Patient is sedated fully. Heartrate and breathing—“ he gently hovers his fingers rigor below your nose, his eyes scanning the beeping monitor next to you—“ normal and stable. Beginning examination.”
Maybe, if you were smart, you would have also questioned why you needed to be sedated for a basic physical exam. You didnt ask what a physical really entailed, which gave him the perfect excuse for... well. This.
Joel had offered you some privacy before where he left his office to allow you to change your day clothing into the sterile gown. Such gentlemanly, professional attitude is tossed out the door as he doesn’t hesitate to unfasten the front, popping the buttons off one by one. He starts at your chest, exposing the silk smooth curve of your breasts. “Beautiful, healthy body,” he breathes. Every entimeter of your skin is observed closely. He continues, making his way down to your stomach, admiring your naval with his thick hand petting softly over your belly and unbuttoning down your hips. “I can already see excellent shape for reproduction, should she choose…”
He grins, now having you fully exposed to him under the bright light. Joel places his recorder in his chest pocket, leaving the mic on so he can continue to do his work with both steady hands.
“Fuck me,” he groans, the tent in his slacks already pressing against the cool metal table under you. He adjusts himself slightly, no concern for the perversion of his hard cock jutting out in the open as he brushes it against your legs and arms while circling you.
Dr. Miller was a practiced man. He'd lifted enough unconscious body parts throughout his career, being careful yet precise. It took him no time to hoist your legs into the cradled bend of the stirrups, spread wide and slightly elevated so that your core was exposed.
“Testing reactivity,” he says before pressing your feet with his thumbs. He massages your arch, feeling the tendons shift and resist. His lips ghost the ball of your foot. "Smooth here too. The skin of the feet haven't started callousing yet." Joel’s wet tongue glides along the crevice, thick and warm, before sucking on your toes, lubricating them with his tongue over and over again. He moans, closing his eyes and palming his bulge. You don’t seem to stir at all, but he does briefly catch the way your eyeballs shift underneath your lids, brows drawing then releasing.
He pushes the stirrups forward more, hands on the backs of your thighs until your knees are bent, as if ready to birth.
“Very healthy looking patient below the waist. I’ll need to taste more—test more before the insertion.”
Joel shifts along your side, and with no hesitation, grasps your tits roughly. He scrunches and squeezes tightly, pushing your nipples out until they’re hardened and swollen. He loves the way they feel in his big palms. It was last week when you let him do a breast exam, he was able to fondle them to his liking. He wanted to give them a taste then, but knew you weren’t ready for that.
Consciously, anyway.
A hot month descends upon your breast, and he glances up once again to see your reaction. He rolls your nip around and around before biting lightly. That receives a flinch. He smiles, sucking harder. They’re so warm and firm in his mouth, and he can’t help but suckle along them with fat suctioning sound each time he releases. “Very good potential for milk. Bet she’d make the sweetest milk.” He draws away, grabbing something from the table next to him. “Documenting …” he dabs some freezing cream directly onto your nipple and snaps a picture when your head jolts in surprise. Little sounds get lodged in your throat as he rubs it into your skin, kneading your mounds like dough. “Pretty thing…” he whispers seductively.
He alternates between his hot mouth and the cold cream, watching your head toss slightly here and there. Your heartrate had also picked up, beeping a little more fervently. Nothing major, but a few beats per minute quicker than before.
“We’re gonna stress her breathing next,” he sighs, moving up above your head. He feels your collar bone, working his hands up along your esophagus and underneath your neck. Pressing slightly to watch how much further your chest expands for air to ensure you’re still adjusting breath properly.
Dr Miller unzips his trousers, his hard length falling free and slapping your forehead. He chuckles lazily, rolling it over and over, his tip nudging your nose and closed eyes. You’re so compliant like this. Not even a peep of protest as he nestles his balls overtop your sockets and pushes his head against your soft lips.
“Seeing how well she can take …foreign objects…obstructing the jugluar.”
He presses in, your lips parting of their own accord to accomodate the intruder. “Ughhh,” he growls. His hands splay along the table, inching himself forward with a roll of his hips. Your jaw opens wider, forced to take the growing girth of his member. A strangled noise hiccups in your throat, and he immediately draws out. The monitor by your side beeps loudly before returning to a regular pace.
He aligns himself again and fucks your mouth, this time further than before until the mushroom tip is bulging in your throat.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhh,” he moans heavenly. He pulls out, lets you breathe, then forces it deeper. Again and again until you’re taking him for five seconds at a time, deeper and deeper, the table rattling with his incessant humps. “Fuck..you take that, swallowing my cock like a princess, you take cock so good little slut.”
He thrusts in and out until he’s on the verge of cumming. Slipping his cock out the final time, he grips the base, growling to keep his orgasm down. He’d been thinking about it a long time, where he’d defile you last with his seed. As tempting as your tight throat was, he knew there was better ways to make you his confidential patient, forever and always.
Your vital signs were steady again, although more elevated than you started. Your head twitched to the side slightly, eyeballs rolling under your eyelids. Your body can sense something is happening externally, but cannot rouse itself to intercept.
He smiles, stroking your spit stained cheeks. “You’re doin’ very well, sweet pea.” its one of his favorite things about these types of exams. Watching how much a patient's instinct tries to fight his ministrations. Yet failing under the sedation and trusting senses of its owner.
For the next hour, Dr. Miller plays with your body. He’s inserted a bullet vibrator up your vaginal walls, controlling its speed and intensity on the little device. With each change in setting, your body reacted differently. Your hips bucked involuntarily, head swayed side to side. Hums of pleasure bubbled in your chest and out your nose, straining to make a coherent noise. He watched, spreading your folds so your little clit was perfectly on display. She throbbed, swelling to an engorged state. So vibrantly colored, filled with blood as he sets her nerves ablaze.
He’d press his warm lips to her before patching it with a cubed ice. Your body didn’t like that, stomach tensing and knees wanting to lock. He had to get the stirrups tightened around your calves to keep you spread open for him.
“That’s my girl,” he whispers quietly against your thigh, his plush lips ghosting the inside. He’s left his mic on recording, giving himself the freedom to savor your goosebumps for himself.
Dr Miller circled around you again, viewing your exposed chest. Your nipples were stiff, and he makes note about how erect they’d become since starting your test. He presses his mouth there, his fingers dancing south to come in contact with your drooping pussy. He’s got a little cup underneath your butt, to capture any of your juices that might leak from his ministrations. For extra (taste) testing in the future.
With his mouth on your breast and three fingers rubbing your clit in clockwise motion, Joel suckles and fingers you with deadly precision.
“Trying to make the patient—“ his tongue circles over your nipple thrice before nipping at your nipple, sucking it to a point—“reach climax.”
He spanks your pussy, rewarding himself with a quiver from your body. “That’s it babygirl, you feel that?” He slaps it again, your body jolting, but his teeth sink further into the flesh of your boob to keep your chest in place.
He removes his hand entirely, focusing solely on sucking your tits. There’s a little device wedged inside you, not unlike the bullet vibrator, but this one can sense contractions. It connects to a monitor across the room, recording the pulses inside your pussy.
“That’s it—I see it—she’s working up to it—“ he sucks harder on your tits, swallowing his own saliva, eyes desperately strained to see your cunt reflected back on him on the TV and the matching pulses growing next to it.
The lines reach their heightened point, and your body wreathes appropriately as you cum. Your poor little cunny, contracting around nothing as you orgasm from his tongue on your breasts alone.
“I want to see if I can just—“ he slips his hand back down to your pussy, diving three fingers in at once and rapidly squelching upward towards that gummy part inside.
Suddenly, you let out an audible yelp, knees folding inward as liquid gushes from your opening.
“Oohhhh yes, that’s a good girl, that’s a good girl!” He praises, smirking as you continue to squirt all over his palm and splash onto the floor. The fucking cup wouldn’t capture all of it, an he’d have to really clean up. But he wasn’t expecting such promising results.
“She’s well hydrated for sure.”
By the way you shake your head, eyes starting to peep over, it doesn’t seem like you knew you could squirt either.
“Shhhh,” he hums, putting his palm over your eyes to block the light. “Rest now, you’re in good hands. Do you want to keep sleeping?” He glances over at the IV bag, already dripping another extra droplet into your system. “You’re so warm and safe here. Let’s rest a little more.”
You let out a sigh, eyes closed and nodding slightly before falling to the side, back into a deep state of unconsciousness.
How pathetic you can’t even tell your lower half is soaking wet of your own doing.
He makes his way back to stand between your legs, kicking away the little rolling stool.
“See how well this pussy takes a real poundin.’” He pumps his shaft along your slick entrance, dabbing it repeatedly and grinning at how wet it sounds. He’d been edging himself this whole time. Not just this evening, but the entire few months he’s been you ever doting, caring, overly invested doctor, waiting to get you right here, spread out for him.
“She’s still so soft, so tight,” he gulps with a pant. Your chest was inflating up and down more quickly, so he knew you could feel something happening. “You’re doin’ great, baby. Just—just a little more—“
He notches the tip along your weeping hole. “She’s so patient for me.” He wonders if you’ll feel this in the morning when you wake.
Sliding in the first inch, Joel opens his jaw in silent prayer, head tilted back towards the ceiling. He pushes in again, feeling the first bit of resistance from your walls. Shit, he knew you were a virgin. You had marked it embarrassingly during one of the first appointments where he intimately needed to know all your sexual activities. You’d admitted having masturbated, which he encouraged as healthy, though the truth was so that he wouldn’t have to try too hard to stretch you out at this exact moment. Luckily he had loosened you up pretty well with his fingers and tongue this good hour, so when the good doctor pulls out then thrusts half his length in one go, you can’t offer any more rebellion to it.
When he finally bottoms out, he lets out a satisfied whimper. His cheek turned upright into a selfish, wicked grin. “Fuck, your pussy looks so good around my cock,” he says loudly, taunting the fact that you couldn’t retort even if you could hear him properly. He hasn’t had any relevant, professional notes to take for a long while now, instead resorting to little ‘fuckfuckfuck’s as he thrusts his hips in and out of your now loosened cunt.
He reaches for the wand vibrator, switching it on and positioning it right at your clit, against the base of his dick. Its whirs to life, making your whole body contract in on itself.
“Auuggghhhh fuck yeah—fuck that’s it sweet girl—just feel that—feelin’ it so good.” He continues to fuck you open, biting his tongue and watching you shift with each rut into your unconscious body. Your eyelashes flutter, instinct fighting to get you awake. Jesus he wants it—wants you to wake up right fucking now, see what he’s doing to you. The way your eyes would float, confused, coming into focus as the trusted doc is battering your once pure insides in the name of your health.
You didn’t know he’d already been fired and relocated from 6 different hospitals across the country for this exact reason. Granted, most anyone could report was inappropriate behavior and groping. He’d have his way with girls like you, in this exact position before. If anybody ever fully caught on to this, he’d be strung up in jail by now.
Whines bubble up from your chest as he gropes your tit with one hand, swirling the wand around your nub with the other. It takes a few minutes of on and off before he feels you clenching around him and cumming. Your back arches slightly, gasping through your mouth. He has to steady himself with his hands flat on either side of the observation table, hunched over and ramming into you while you’re still squeezing the fuck out of him. He likes the way your juices splash down his thighs and balls with each puncture. He’s a good doctor though, making sure you wouldn’t bleed or tear throughout this rough ordeal. He’s a proper man when it comes to his practice.
“Shit, shit—babydoll—fuckyeah this pussy—I’m not gonna be able to give this one up--“ He hums to himself, eyes shut.
You barely register the fact that you’re coming to. Your eyes are slitted but the tunnel vision is still so strong. Foggy and muffled, you can feel your body moving but can’t bring your muscles to do anything about it.
“D-J-oel,” you rasp, eyes fluttering close again as you definitely feel something deep within your stomach. You’re still so out of it, half your senses fading and drawing while being stimulated, unable to fully reach your brain. Your body is screaming to wake up though despite the tempting lull back to sleep. So you open your eyes again, rollin them around you. Your vision becomes clearer, still blurring but able to make outlines and lights now. Still in the hospital, still with the bright lights, still with Doctor Miller—
Doctor Miller, standing between your spread, naked legs with his wet, hard and long cock disappearing in and out of you. Doctor Miller, cursing and staring at where your bodies join, oblivious to your aroused state. Doctor Miller, telling you sweet words like how he’s gonna take you home, he’s gonna keep you like this till you’re full of him, then he's really gonna watch you grow, none of it really making coherent sense to you at the moment.
But there is that feeling inside, deep within your core that’s growing. Everything feels so wet and hot at the same time. He’s incessantly rubbing something delicious, electrocuting your nerves to an awakened state so far more than anything else.
You let out a strangled moan, and his head shoots up, watching you roll your neck and look around. Your sounds get louder, jaw flexing to let them loose.
He's been caught, and he doesn’t stop. “Fuck-fuck babygirl that’s it—M’takin real good care of ya—watch…watch me…watch me when ya cum—“ he groans, gripping your hips and slamming into you almost abusively.
“Ah-ah-ah-ah!” You wail, unable to tear your limited vision away from him as he ruts like a dog in heat, his hips humping your ass.
He lets out a startled bark, stilling inside you all the way. That makes your eyes fly wide open, more awake now than before as you start to cum around him. You don’t know what’s happening, don’t understand it and yet your body only knows pleasure, and that’s what your brain releases all over your insides and out. He’s so warm inside, filling you with something hot and sticky.
There’s a thin sheen of sweat on you, and even greater on him. He pulls out, mummuring some praise at your pearly, pulsing slit. Your heart is pounding, but body exhausted, like you’d been at this for a while now. You can’t move your head, and your eyes feel heavy once again.
“Hey, hey,” he coos softly next to you. He cups your face in his big hands, bringing you to look at him. “Hey there, angel. How we feeling? You did amazing.”
He feels gentle, touching your fuzzy spots all over again like honey. “Mmm,” you nod.
He smiles, beginning to turn off the monitors and unhook you from the sensors. “Did such a great job for me, never had a patient as good as you.” He kisses your forehead, long and comforting. now with the needle out, you still feel drowsy, but with his reassuring words and touches, you don’t feel the need to get up any time soon.
“Here, drink this—“ he hands you a little platic cup of water with a straw. You take a few sips, suddenly feel a massive, near painful pressure in your throat, like something had been lodged there not long ago. Coughing slightly, you give him back the cup, falling back against the headrest.
“Shhh, it’s okay. No need to fight it. You can keep resting.” He kisses you on the lips, silencing any protest. Your brain still feels so floaty, you don’t even question the way his tongue swipes along your teeth. You don’t care, enjoying the way he’s treating you so well after the procedure. He makes you feel safer than ever.
“Gonna clean you up now. Take you home.”
Of course, you don’t think about it, as he makes you feel so at home now. You quickly fall back asleep. Joel wheels you out of the room, down towards his un-registered truck and into the back where he whisks you away to your very new, very permanent, very secluded "home."
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Robotic-Assisted Minimally Invasive Transforaminal Interbody Fusion (TLIF) Using A New Hands-Free 3D Digital Microscope with Head-Mounted Display (HMD): Technical Note BY Frederic Rossi-Mossuti IN International Journal of Clinical Images and Medical Reviews
Abstract
Background: Looking into the eyepiece of a conventional operative microscope during minimally invasive spine surgery may result in uncomfortable or highly nonergonomic postures. Robotic systems are rapidly changing the landscape of modern surgery, offering potential benefits for both patients and surgeons. This study aims to describe potential advantages of a new high-definition hands-free robotic visualization device (Robotic Scope) displaying 3D images in a head-mounted display (HMD) accessory for minimally invasive decompression and navigated transforaminal lumbar interbody fusion (TLIF).
Methods: We performed a single TLIF with prior laboratory training to assess the advantages and disadvantages of RoboticScope assistance, its integration into the operative workflow, and its qualitative appraisal in spine surgery.
Results: A senior surgeon evaluated magnification, perception of depth and robot manipulation with HMD as good. All four placed pedicle screws were assessed as grade A according to the Gertzbein-Robbins scale (GRS) No intra- or perioperative complications were experienced.
Conclusion: Maintaining ergonomic posture and hands-free control microscopy are of particular interest in minimally invasive spine surgery. Further clinical research is required to demonstrate the safety, usability and surgical outcome using the Robotic Scope.
Keywords: Smart Glasses, Minimally Invasive Surgical Procedures, Robotics, Microscopy, Spinal Fusion, Ergonomic
Introduction
Since the 1970s, the operating microscope (OM) has been a standard tool for visualization and illumination of the surgical field during spinal microsurgery. However, some limitations have been documented, e.g., the limited movability of the binocular lenses and discomfort experienced by surgeons due to the abnormal postures required, and efforts have been made to replace the OM with exoscopic and digital systems [1]. Minimally invasive spine procedures rely mostly on good visualization, which has been proven using microscopes; however, this approach comes with a price, notably the need for repetitive movement of the microscope, a limited field of view (focus) and focal length, which lead to difficulty maintaining proper visualization when working with long instruments, such as screwdrivers [2]. Furthermore, the mandatory alignment of the microscope optics with tubular retractors and the constraint of the surgeon to look at the operative field through the binoculars results in nonergonomic postures (Figure 1A), leading to discomfort, pain and eventually work-related musculoskeletal disorders with potential disability [3-5].
Figure 1(A-D): Transoperative images.
A: Figure showing a possible position of the surgeon using a traditional microscope with integrated eyepieces, the position may not be ergonomically correct.B: Using the RoboticScope system, the surgeon shows a better ergonomic position, without forced movements, even trying to see “around the corner”.C: The eyepieces can be raised automatically on the surgeon’s command (by activating the virtual menu or via a foot pedal).
D: the system allows seeing out of the eyepiece screens, for instance to use the navigation.
Various portable head-mounted display (HMD) devices have been described in spinal surgery to superimpose valuable intraoperative information to the surgeon’s field of view in the headset, such as real-time fluoroscopic images, 3D neuronavigation or augmented reality data during minimally invasive pedicle screw placement [6-8]. By keeping “eyes on the field” during the whole procedure, without needing to frequently look at the display monitors, surgeons minimize the risk of unintentional hand deviation and complications resulting from microsurgical manipulation.
A new microscope displaying high-definition binocular 3D images of the operative field onto an HMD, with hands-free control of the robotic arm carrying the camera, has been assessed in hand, plastic and otologic microsurgery [9-12]. An HMD enables the maintenance of a safe working distance, wearing adequate personal protective equipment and additional surgical draping to reduce perioperative staff contamination risk during the coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) pandemic [13].
The aim of this technical note is to appraise the feasibility of using an innovative high-definition microscope (RoboticScope®, BHS Technologies GmbH, Innsbruck, Austria) with a camera head-mounted onto a controllable robotic arm linked to an HDM displaying the images of the surgical field for minimally invasive 3D-navigated TLIF (Figure 1B-D).
Figure 2(A-B): A: Laboratory training: a training procedure was performed to demonstrate how to control the camera via the integrated virtual menu. B: The integrated virtual menu allows controlling the eyepiece aperture, camera movement, focus, magnification, light intensity etc. Everything is done through subtle movements of the head. This makes the system very intuitive (Courtesy of BHS Technologies GmbH, Innsbruck, Austria).
Materials and Methods
Operative Indication
A 76-year-old female patient with chronic radicular neurogenic claudication shown by L5-S1 discopathy and bilateral severe foraminal stenosis on preoperative MRI who was resistant to conservative treatment, underwent microsurgical decompression and instrumentation using minimally invasive surgery (MIS-TLIF) under general anesthesia.
Training
Two weeks prior to the procedure, the senior surgeon received a practical introduction to the RoboticScope on artificial models, including teaching on the use of its main functions such as orientation of the robotic arm to change the angle of vision and navigation through the interface to select and adjust the different parameters (Figure 2A).We recorded the surgeon’s head movements for camera motion control and time taken to reach different positions of the robotic arm during training.
Technique
The patient was positioned prone on a Jackson table (Mizuho, OSI®). After placing the spinous process clamp and reference on S1, 3D imaging was acquired by computer tomography (CT) intraoperative scan (O-arm™, Medtronic, Inc.) and was transferred to the spinal navigation system (StealthStation™, Medtronic, Inc.). A two-centimeter-long skin incision was made approximately 5 cm paramedian on the right side. Tubular retractors (MAST QUADRANT™ system, Medtronic, Inc.) were placed regarding the segment of interest under navigation, exposing all structures between pedicles L5 and S1 (facets and lamina). The RoboticScope® camera head was brought in after adjusting and calibrating the HMD on the surgeon’s head (Figure 1B and C). After drilling through the inferior articular process of L5 and removing the superior articular process of S1 with the drill and Kerrison rongeurs, the dura and traversing S1 nerve were exposed and medially retracted. Annulotomy was performed, the disc material removed, and endplates prepared with different curettes.
After localization confirmation with the navigation probe, an interbody titanium cage was brought under fluoroscopic control.Four titanium percutaneous pedicular screws were inserted into L5 and S1 under computer-assisted navigation. 3D intraoperative images were then acquired to confirm the correct placement of the screws and cage (Figure 3).
Smart Glasses
Figure 2(A-B): A: Laboratory training: a training procedure was performed to demonstrate how to control the camera via the integrated virtual menu. B: The integrated virtual menu allows controlling the eyepiece aperture, camera movement, focus, magnification, light intensity etc. Everything is done through subtle movements of the head. This makes the system very intuitive (Courtesy of BHS Technologies GmbH, Innsbruck, Austria).
Microscopic System: Robotic Scope
Surgical field images were captured by a high-definition (HD) dynamic camera mounted on a six degrees-of-freedom (DOF) robotic arm. Binocular digital screens fixed onto the helmet on the surgeon’s head displayed the HD 3D live operative images, irrespective of the surgeon’s head position (Figure 1 D).Taking off the HMD eye screens, orientation of the robotic arm and control of microscope settings were possible using light head gestures (Figure 1C) as follows. After pressing on a foot pedal to engage control mode, nodding and head turning detected by the HMD enable navigation through a visual user interface, allowing changing the perspective of sight or adjusting parameters such as the working distance (300-600 mm), magnification (absolute magnification 4.3-34.4x), and illumination (white LED technology) (Figure 2B). The RoboticScope received the European conformity (CE) certification in 2020.
This study was conducted in accordance with the local Swiss Ethics committee guidelines and the Declaration of Helsinki. Written consent for medical data collection and de-identified use for research was obtained from the patient.
Results
Training in the laboratory before the procedure was of great benefit. The first transition from one point to another in the mock surgical field took 10 seconds, but after 1 hour of training went down to 3 seconds. Focusing took 8 seconds vs 2 seconds after 1 hour of training. Control of the camera was highly intuitive, and no difficulties controlling the position and movements of the camera were encountered.During the real surgery, focusing and moving from one point to another required the same amount of time as after the 1-hour training period (Figure 2A).
After operation, all four placed screws were assessed as grade A according to the Gertzbein-Robbins scale (GRS), with no pedicle breach detected on the intraoperative CT scan (Figure 3,4) [14]. There were no intra- or perioperative complications.
Magnification, depth perception and robotic manipulation with the HMD were evaluated as comparable to the traditional microscope. The focal length was evaluated superior to our standard microscope and the available workspace under magnification when using long instruments. More workspace is due to freeing the space occupied by the traditional microscope. We can therefore conclude that the use of a new microscope with a robotic mounted camera fit in well with the established workflow of MIS-TLIF of our institution. The surgeon reported a significant reduction in muscle tension and fatigue after a procedure lasting several hours, being able to maintain an aligned and physiological spinal posture during all microsurgical steps.
Figure 4: A - Coronal B - Axial L5 and C - Axial S1 intraoperative CT scan acquisitions.
Discussion
In this technical note, we used a newly conceptualized 3D stereoscopic microscope previously tested in other conditions, with a robotic mounted camera from which surgical field images are displayed in an HMD to now test the feasibility of use for MIS-TLIF. After a relatively short training, the surgeon was ready to use the new device for a designated spine procedure. The surgery was uncomplicated, the new device integrated seamlessly and safely in the usual operative process and a significant reduction in tension and muscle fatigue following ergonomic positioning was reported by the surgeon.
Extreme angulation of tubular retractors to optimize the exposure of relevant structures in a narrow operative corridor of less than 3 cm diameter represents a current maneuver in MISS. Working independently of oculars mounted on traditional microscopes in MISS was our goal to elude the classical alignment constraint of the surgeon’s eyes and eyepiece proximally to the microscope’s objective and the tubular retractor distally so that the surgeon can adopt a more neutral and ergonomic posture. Use of exoscopes with tubular retractors has also been advocated for this purpose [15] but with an exoscope, surgical site observation still depends on looking at a screen with altered field depth perception. Furthermore, preoperative placement of the 3D monitors for the first operator and the assistant can sometimes be cumbersome, while for Robotic Scope, the working images permanently follow the head movements of the surgeon in the HMD [16]. In addition, notwithstanding significant technical developments in the field of digital monitoring with 3D ultrahigh-4K definition, the tridimensional image quality, depth perception and illumination of exoscopes have not yet achieved the results of classical microscopy operating or the performances that are expected to be maintained with the binocular digital microdisplay system of RoboticScope [17].
Bringing in a navigation probe or long instruments during minimally invasive spinal procedures often results in taking operative instruments out of the surgical field to remove the microscope head leading to incapacity to look at operative 3D images through the microscope eyepiece and unergonomic body movements when observing the 2D external screen. Field obstruction by a microscope prevents camera visualization of the tracking markers and causes loss of neuronavigation. In this respect, uncoupling the surgeon’s eyes from a microscope eyepiece via an HMD enables maintaining 3D images of the neurological structures during critical instrumentation steps. In addition, hands-free control of the field view with head motion and the wide working distance of RoboticScope (300-600 mm) allows instruments to be kept in the operative field throughout.
Kwan et al. showed a significant increase in the incidence of scope adjustment during the same spinal procedure using a high-definition 3D exoscope compared to a classical operating microscope. therefore, by means of hands-free orientation of the microscope, an additional reduction in the incidence of scope adjustment could be foreseen using Robotic Scope. For narrow surgical corridors, especially when using tubular retractors, slight angulations of the microscope tube are sometimes useful to clear microsurgical instruments out of the line-of-sight of anatomical structures of interest. The head-controlled orbital mode of RoboticScope would permit gentle rotation around a chosen point to reveal the tip of instruments in a confined space without the need to manually orient the microscope.
Limitations
We report the first use of robotic microscopy with HMD for spinal surgery; however, a larger number of cases is needed to assess the safety and usability of the system on a regular basis in MISS. Further assessments are required to appraise the learning curve and the optimum length of preoperative training sessions. Ex-vivo tests on human cadavers could contribute first to assess feasibility and then to measure accuracy and reproducibility of the procedures with this new device. As Molina et al. mentioned in their study, a major obstacle interfering with a seamless and safe workflow of conventional computer-assisted spine navigation is attention shift. Repeatedly shifting looking at the surgical field and neuronavigation screen entails a risk of hand deviation and misplacement of screws. Moving the gaze away from the micro-display of the HMD (e.g., taking off the HMD eye screens as in (Figure 1C) to assess navigation information on other display screens in the operating room could easily be prevented by embedding the navigation screens into the HMD’s digital micro-display. In addition, the digital character of the HD procedural images displayed on the HMD may allow for more convenient superimposition of computer-generated data onto the patient in augmented reality than those with demanding projection techniques for overlapping supplementary images onto an optical system, such as microscope oculars [18].
We noted two possible disadvantages of Robotic Scope that could be readily addressed in the future. First, the initial delicate process of balancing the relatively heavy helmet (485 gr.) on the surgeon’s head and maintaining a constant distance from the binocular screens of the HMD to the eyes are mandatory to maintain the focus during the length of the procedure. Optimizing the fit of the HMD to the surgeon's head and especially limiting its weight would help to maintain a constant distance between eyes and the HMD screens. With conventional microscopy, this distance from eyes to binoculars is not fixed, but surgeons can adapt it with slight back and forth movement of the head. Second, a double HMD is not currently available for another surgeon, hindering the same 3D visualization of the surgical field for quality operative assistance.
Conclusion
To our knowledge, this is a first report of the use of an innovative microscope, the RoboticScope® (BHS Technologies GmbH, Innsbruck, Austria), for minimally invasive spinal stabilization procedure. In contrast to conventional operating microscopy, working independently of the eyepieces allows surgeons to adopt an ergonomic posture, even in cases of extreme tubular retractor angulations. Changing the perspective of sight and working distance while keeping operative instruments and the surgeon’s sight in the surgical field is made possible by hands-free control of the microscope’s camera head. Further pre-clinical and clinical research is required to demonstrate safety, usability, and surgical outcomes using this new technology.
Ethics approval
NA
Acknowledgements
We thank Melanie Price Hirt for English language correction and editing of the manuscript.
Declaration of Conflicting Interests:
Timo M. Ecker is a consultant for Medtronic and receives research funding from them; there is no conflict of interest with this study. Other authors declare that there is no conflict of interest.
Funding
The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.
Author contributions
Frederic Rossi-Mossuti: Conceptualization, Investigation, Writing-Original draft preparation, Visualization Timo Ecker: Resources, Writing-Review & Editing Marco Germann: Writing-Review & Editing Juan Barges-Coll: Resources, Conceptualization, Investigation, Writing-Review & Editing
For more details: https://ijcimr.org/editorial-board/
#Smart Glasses#Minimally Invasive Surgical Procedures#Robotics#Microscopy#Spinal Fusion#Ergonomic#OM#minimally invasive surgery#computer tomography#Mizuho#OSI#MAST QUADRANT#HMD#Gertzbein-Robbins scale#Frederic Rossi-Mossuti#ijcimr
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Of Course, Professor
Pairing: Law Professor!Lee Know x Female Reader
Genre: Smut. Romantic-ish. Basically just porn with a hint of plot tossed in so I don’t just keyboard smash sex stuff on the page and feel bad about myself. 18+.
Summary: The law professor everyone is scared of generously offers to help you with your school work.
Warnings: There is explicit language. There is explicit sex (oral, penetration, teasing, edging, cumshot). There is a Professor/Student relationship, and IRL I do think that’s super inappropriate BUT this isn’t real life and I promise everything is very consensual, there’s no like “give me sex and you’ll get an A” kinda stuff, so, it’s all very much in my own personal scope of comfort. I wouldn’t write anything I felt was yucky. If any of that rubs you the wrong way though, that’s totally fine, and this one isn’t for you which is completely okay.
A/N: So, once upon a time in my undergrad years I was determined to be a lawyer. For a solid academic year I changed my major to Paralegal Studies because I figured that would be a perfect foundation for law school (smart, right?). Except like, three months in I was miserable and hated everything about it and realized that it absolutely couldn’t be me. I ended up having a similar discussion with my academic advisor/professor - except I didn’t end up fucking them - not that professor anyway (kidding). I always wanted to write a story about that awful year, and now I have - kinda…sort of. With a twist of delicious Lee Know and forbidden love. Yum.
“Can you stop please?”
You look at the girl sitting next to you in class. Her name completely escapes you but her eyes are burning lasers at the pen you’ve been clicking nervously in your hands.
“...Sorry…”
You apologize and gently set the pen down on your desk. Professor Lee is taking his sweet time passing back the most recent term papers and you dig your nails into your palm in anticipation of your grade.
To say you’re struggling in his Civil Procedures course is an understatement. In fact, you don’t seem to be doing well in any of the classes you’re taking this semester. The voices of your parents condescendingly telling you “Law School isn’t for everyone and that’s okay,” sound like they’re playing on repeat in an echo chamber.
If you bomb this paper you’re out. You stayed up almost all night last night going over the pros and cons of dropping out. You went back and forth so long fighting with yourself that you fell asleep thinking about it, and when you woke up the only thing you could think of was letting the universe give you a sign.
You had worked on your term paper for weeks, carefully piecing it together, you spent so much time in the library that you now know the TA who works at the help desk on a first name basis. So if you flunk it, there’s your magical sign.
“Ms. ___,” Professor Lee sets your paper face down on the desk - bad sign. He leans down just a tad, “Why don’t we meet in my office after class?” - even worse.
“Yes, Professor,” you nod. You think about not even flipping the stapled monstrosity over, but curiosity gets the better of you.
There it is, a painful 55% staring back at you in thick, blood-red marker. You spare yourself the trouble of pouring over the thinner red notes made in the margins of every page. You can’t help the tears of frustration that pool in your eyes.
“Everyone enjoy your break and the time spent with your families, when we return we’ll begin our discussions on Summary Judgement, so please make sure you complete the reading outlined in the syllabus before we see each other again. Dismissed,” Mr. Lee nods and the ruckus of chairs against linoleum and exasperation fill the room.
Mr. Lee’s office is four floors above the classroom, so you have a few minutes to spare - which you spend in the restroom crying, drying your eyes, then crying again.
You’re dropping out of Law School. All that work, all that trying, all those late nights - and don’t even start on the amount of money spent on coffee and tuition and fucking textbooks and…you start sobbing again.
“How did you do?” Seungmin asks when you emerge from the ladies room, his face immediately contorts into a painful frown at your red, puffy face, “That bad huh?”
“I can’t really talk Seungmin,” you take a deep breath, “I’ve got to go meet Lee in his office before his next class begins.”
“Fuck,” Seungmin frowns even more, “That man scares the shit out of me.”
“Thanks,” you say, “That’s helpful.”
“Sorry. We’re all heading to the Coffee House before everyone starts driving home for the break, do you want to come? After your meeting of course,” he asks.
“Not today,” you shake your head, “but thank you for asking.”
He gives you a sympathetic look and your shoulder a tiny squeeze.
You stand outside Professor Lees office for a few moments, gathering yourself. Professor Lee makes everyone nervous. He’s a hard instructor, emotionless sometimes, so direct it’s painful, and it doesn’t help anyone that he’s also devastatingly attractive. He’s a giant walking slab of intimidation.
You softly knock on the door and he looks up at you from over his glasses as he types something.
“Ah, Ms. ___, there you are. Come, sit down,” he instructs and you slide through the doorframe and slouch in an old green armchair across from his desk.
“Just give me one second,” he says slowly as he continues typing, “alright.”
“I’m sorry sir, for the term paper, I should have done better,” you offer up, electing to go ahead and fall on your own sword.
“There’s no need for apologies Ms. ___, a waste of time in this kind of situation. I would like to speak to you about your grades this semester though. After I graded your term paper, I reached out to some of my colleagues - some of your other professors - and they all had similar reports to give me, can we talk about that?”
You sigh, fanning out your fingers over your thighs, “Please, Professor, you mentioned a moment ago about time wasters - and I don’t want to waste anymore of your time - I’ve decided to drop out of law school.”
The defeat you feel just saying the words out loud to someone is enough to bring tears back, but you fight them off. You will not cry in Professor Lee Minhos office. Absolutely not.
Professor Lee purses his lips and nods, “I think that’s probably for the best.”
Your jaw drops, “Aren’t you supposed to encourage me to do the opposite? To try harder or something?”
“Miss ___, I fear if you tried any harder your hair might burn out from the roots,” he smiles and if you weren’t so shocked, you’d laugh at the first joke you’ve ever heard him utter.
Before you can think of something to say, he produces a file folder from his drawers and smacks it on the table making you jump.
“These are all the papers you’ve written for my class so far this semester. Your papers intrigue me Miss ___.”
Intrigue? That’s a funny word to use for ‘disgusted and disappointed beyond imagination.’
“But you-,” you begin to point out that the highest grade he’s ever given you on a paper was a 68%. Far from intriguing.
“But…as legal writing? They’re all absolute trash,” he tells you. “What intrigues me about them is the way you write, it’s quite good, every time I read one I feel like I’m in the room with a friend who’s trying to sort of explain law to me, the problem is you just don’t think, rationalize, or talk like a lawyer. I noticed in your transcript that your undergraduate degree was in education, and you had a 4.0 GPA. I can’t help but wonder, Miss ___, what career are you looking for?”
“A…a lawyer,” you say in a quiet voice, staring at a knick on his desk.
He looks skeptical as he leans back in his chair, “Why?”
“Because…” oh fuck it all, you may as well just say it, “because my father, my mother, and my older brother are all lawyers, who went here.”
“I see, so one could deduce that you wanted to be a lawyer because they wanted you to be one, they expected it of you?” he concludes.
You smile comically, the truth is much more pathetic.
“No, actually, they all told me I couldn’t do it. They told me I wasn’t smart enough, sharp enough, bold enough. I wanted to teach art to school children, but when that’s exactly what I elected to study, their comments started. I was just a private joke between the three of them, and I hated it, so I wanted to show them that I could be a lawyer.”
“You came here to study law out of stubborn spite?” he reiterates.
“Yes sir, I did,” you look at your lap and play with a rogue string from your sweater cuff.
“That’s quite impressive, Miss ___, to go through all that trouble, strife, and money to do something you have no interest in just to best your family.”
“Well when you say it like that I sound like a psycho,” you laugh timidly, trying to keep the sludge of humiliation down.
“I don’t think you’re a psycho, I think you’re a bright woman who wanted to show her family they were wrong, but just ended up making herself miserable,” his expression is soft, almost understanding. “However, as your professor, I don’t think I could recommend continuing with law school. This is your first year, with first year level studies, and you’re struggling this much all for something you don’t even want, it will only get more difficult from here.”
You nod, “You’re probably right sir,” you stand, “I should get to the admin office before they close for the break, I’m sorry for wasting your time,” you give him a respectful smile and grab your bag.
“Miss ___,” he motions for you to sit back down, “First of all, you’ve not wasted a single second of my time. Second, I don’t recommend dropping out right now, I think you should finish this semester at least.”
“You just said…”
“I said I don’t think you should continue with law school, and I don’t. However, we’re past the official mid-point of the semester, the cut off to withdraw for a full refund of tuition was last week, if you go now you’ll never get that money back.”
You plop back down in the chair, even more defeated, “I didn’t realize that,” you drag your hands down your face in frustration, “shit.”
Professor Lee chuckles, “I do have an alternative plan for you, if you’re willing to hear it and put in the work,” he offers.
You sit up straight, “Yes, of course sir.”
“I suggest you finish this semester, and I will help you - starting with rewriting your latest term paper. I’ll even try to assist you with some of your other courses, if you’d like. If we work diligently enough, you can finish this semester with an acceptable GPA, that keeps your academic record away from probation or academic expulsion,” he explains.
“You would do that?” you ask in disbelief.
“Well, of course, I am a professor after all. What sort would I be if I wasn’t willing to help my students?”
“I don’t know what to say Professor,” you smile, “that’s too generous.”
“It’s not a problem Miss ___. Now, let’s talk strategy, I assume you don’t plan on spending break with your family?” he guesses.
“No sir, they’re too busy anyway, I plan on staying in my apartment off campus during the break,” you answer.
“Splendid. This evening I have a night class to teach, but perhaps we could meet tomorrow? The library will be closed for break, but my students enjoy meeting up together at that coffee place downtown, uh, Coffee Shack or something,” he struggles.
“The Coffee House?” you help him and try to hold back a grin.
“Yes, would you like to meet there, say, 1PM tomorrow afternoon? We can go over some of your papers together and I’ll help you with your legal writing technique,” he asks.
“Yes, I’ll be there sir, I really can’t thank you enough, truly I appreciate this,” you tell him.
“I look forward to it, Miss ___.”
📖 ❤️
You adjust your backpack as you walk towards the Coffee House doors. You packed your laptop, all your text books, notes, and a few other things because you weren’t sure what Professor Lee would want to cover. The weight of it all is dragging you down and you have to hunch over a bit to balance it.
“My goodness, here, let me get that for you Miss ___,” Professor Lee greets you at the door, he seems to have already picked a table near the front and grabs your bag with a grunt. “Did you pack your entire house?” he teases.
“I didn’t know what you’d want me to bring, so I brought all my school things,” you laugh.
“Well, I suppose it won’t matter that the library is closed since you brought it with you,” he chuckles and you take the seat beside him.
“Should we start?” you open your laptop and power on.
“I thought perhaps you’d like a beverage?”
“Oh,” you look behind you at the register, “Yes, I suppose we should caffeinate,” you smile.
“What would you like?” He stands up and brings his wallet out.
“Oh please sir, let me pay, it’s the least I could do for all of your help,” you beg.
“Nonsense, as much as I love to argue Miss ___ I don’t see the point over a cup of coffee, what would you like? Are you hungry?”
“No, I ate lunch before coming, just a latte for me, small,” you concede, “and thank you…again.”
He smiles and departs from the table. You watch him in the line from where you sit. Seeing Professor Lee like this feels…different. In a less formal setting he’s almost approachable, and you’re starting to see things about him that you don’t in class. Like his generosity, and kindness, the man even has a sense of humor and you think of texting Seungmin about it but stop yourself. You want to keep this all a secret. You don’t want anyone knowing that you’re in such desperate need of assistance with your courses, but also you want to keep this side of Professor Lee to yourself.
You could think of worse ways to spend your Saturday afternoon than with an attractive law professor who’s willing to help you pass your classes. You wonder if he’s aware that all his students find him so hot, or if it’s something that’s never occurred to him. He doesn’t wear a ring on any of his fingers, which tells you he isn’t married, but that doesn’t mean he’s single. You can’t imagine that he’s not seeing anyone. In class he’s usually got on some academia aesthetic looking suit on, lots of tweeds and browns - today he wears a fitted pair of jeans, and a navy sweater with a white collared button up fashioned underneath, the sleeves pushed up his forearms. His jet black hair isn’t styled like it usually is in class, and hangs long and loose around his face. He looks like such a boyfriend…
You blush and go back to focusing on your laptop. What the hell was that? He’s your professor. Which is actually kind of enticing…
You press your lips together and roll your eyes at yourself. Stop with the intrusive sexual thoughts about Professor Lee - the man is trying to save your ass, not spank it - having inappropriate daydreams, no matter how justified they may be, is unacceptable.
“Here we go,” he comes back to the table and sets two mugs on the surface as he takes his seat again.
“Thanks,” you smile politely, trying not to look at him. If you don’t look at him, maybe you won’t think about how cute he is and instead focus on what you ought to be: your failing grades.
“So, let’s start with the main issue of your papers. Writing, in the legal sense, is cut and dry. It’s all about facts, findings, and nothing expressive or personal, which is where you seem to have the most trouble,” he begins and you try to absorb the information instead of noticing the way his lips look while sipping his coffee.
This endeavor may be harder for you than just pulling your grades up.
📖 ❤️
“I think that was a very productive first meeting,” he says optimistically as you start piling things back into your backpack.
“I think so too,” you nod. Productive, yes - but now the real work begins and you’ll have to go home and actually re-write the damned thing.
Professor Lee carries your backpack out the door, “Where’s your car?”
“Oh, it’s at home, I just live a few blocks away,” you point in the general direction of your apartment.
“You mean to tell me you carried this while walking from your house?” he holds the backpack with two hands for dramatics and you giggle.
“It’s not that terrible, how long has it been since you were carrying books around, Professor? Surely you remember the struggle,” you tease.
“I suppose it’s been a bit, here,” he reaches in his pocket and the SUV beside you beeps, he opens the passenger door, “I’ll drive you home so you don’t have to endure the struggle.”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that sir,” you shake your head.
“It’s fine, it’s a small college town Miss ___, I can get literally anywhere in less than five minutes, especially since the majority of students are gone this week. Let me be chivalrous for you,” he smiles and you melt a little bit.
“Well, if you insist,” you look up at him as you slide into the passenger seat.
“I do,” he closes the door, then places your bag in the backseat before coming around to the drivers side.
“Are you always this difficult, Miss ___? Or are you just trying to be overly polite because I’m your professor?” he asks when you point him down the street towards your apartment.
“Difficult, sir?” you look at him wide-eyed.
“Mmhmm,” he nods, “You didn’t want me to buy your coffee, you nearly refused my ride home electing to carry a small library on your back while you walk,” a look of panicked concern washes over his face and he looks over at you, “This isn’t making you uncomfortable in any way is it? Being alone with me?”
“No! No, absolutely not,” you assure him, though you wager that your thoughts about him would certainly make him uncomfortable. “I’m just so incredibly grateful for your help, and you continue to go out of your way for me. It’s just never something I…” you stop yourself.
“Never something you what?” he presses.
You laugh awkwardly, “It’s just not ever something I expected from you, given your reputation with the other students.”
“Ah, yes,” he sucks his teeth, “My reputation of being an uptight jerk who doesn’t like anyone.”
“I would never use those words sir,” you tell him.
“You might not, but I have the internet too, I’ve seen the threads about me on social medias,” he shares.
“You read those?” your voice raises at least three octaves.
“Of course, I’m only human, curiosity gets the best of me from time to time.”
“I don’t participate in those conversations,” you shake your head, “I understand that it’s only natural for students to want to know about the personalities of their upcoming professors, but the bias that occurs in those threads is absurd.”
“I agree, though sometimes they can be helpful, to my ego at least,” he laughs.
“How so?” you wonder, because you don’t remember seeing anything about his classes online that would feed his ego.
“Some of my students may not like my personality, but they like looking at me,” he grins.
“Professor Lee! That’s scandalous,” you laugh and playfully smack his shoulder.
“What?” he laughs with you, “I’ve got to take something positive from it! 75% of those comments are atrocious, but I’m quite proud that I scored three hot peppers on the professor hotness scale.”
“Oh my God,” you cover your mouth, “I cannot believe I’m sitting in your car having this conversation,” you giggle.
“Is this your building?” he points.
“Yes, it is.”
He parks on the street and you take a deep breath when he exits the car. He knows his students think he��s hot, and now he knows that you know he knows. You pat yourself on the back for indicating you’ve never participated in those threads before the conversation took a turn towards hot peppers. Though you are 100% guilty of voting for his peppers.
He opens your door, hanging your backpack across his shoulder.
“I’ll walk this up for you,” he offers and you swallow hard.
“Sure,” you smile, your heart pounding out of your chest. Professor Lee Minho is about to see the inside of your apartment. You try to recall the state you left the place in. You remember doing your dishes before you left, but that’s about the only productive thing you can remember doing today.
You unlock your door and flip the lights on. Your art supplies are everywhere, and you have a bag of laundry by the door because you plan on hitting the laundromat this evening. In trying to move it out of the way you knock it over, a pair of your underwear spilling out onto the floor right at his feet as he walks through.
“Jesus,” you mutter, humiliated, as he looks down at you grabbing up the black lace thong and shoving it back into the bag.
To your utter relief, he says nothing about your undergarments. He sets your backpack down and looks around.
“Can I offer you anything to eat or drink?”
“Did you do all these?” he walks forward into the room towards the area you dry your paintings in. Canvas after canvas sits up against the wall, some completed, most unfinished.
“Oh, yes,” you say, walking up beside him, “This semester has been really frustrating for me, and painting helps.”
“Well, they’re beautiful, truly - you’re quite talented,” he looks down at you, “I can see why teaching art is a passion for you, you’ve certainly got quite a knack for it.”
“Thank you,” you say quietly.
“Teaching is very rewarding,” he adds, “I think that you should pursue your original dream Miss ___. You’ve clearly got a lot to offer the world,” he smiles down at you and you catch his gaze, a few quiet seconds pass as you look into his dark eyes.
“You could just call me by my first name, ___, if you wanted,” you say softly, “and um, thank you, for complimenting my art.”
“You’re very welcome, ___,” he responds, staring at you again. You watch his eyes flit down to your lips and your heart speeds up again. He suddenly clears his throat and looks back at the paintings, “I think we should make the most of the week, since classes aren’t meeting, this is a perfect time for you to catch up with your studies. Tomorrow is Sunday, which is the day I typically devote to catching up on grading, and I do have midterm grades to enter. Perhaps Monday?” he asks.
“Monday, yeah. That works, um, I have a shift at work on Monday morning, but I’ll be free after 3PM.”
“Perfect, we could meet at the Coffee House again, around 4:30?”
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
“Great,” he begins walking back to the door, “and, um, while we’re together - working on your coursework I mean - feel free to call me Minho. However when classes resume, it’s probably best to address me as Professor Lee.”
“Of course, Professor,” you agree. “Thank you, er…Minho…for everything today.”
“You’re most welcome,” he opens the door then pauses, turning his head slightly in your direction, “Nice panties, by the way. See you Monday!”
You stand there, speechless, staring at the closed door.
📖 ❤️
Monday afternoon you can’t help but notice that Professor Lee - Minho - sits closer to you at the table in the coffee shop as he helps you study for one of your other classes. You don’t blame him, truth be told, you spent over an hour after your shift at the bookstore getting ready, hoping he’d look at you the same way he did Saturday. You are, without a doubt, down bad. To impress him even further you’ve got a surprise for him.
“I re-wrote my term paper,” you blurt as the two of you are clearing up the table after studying.
“Already?” he looks at you.
“I worked on it all night Saturday, and most of the day on Sunday. Do you want me to email it to you?”
“Absolutely,” he smiles, “Good girl.”
Fuck off, he did not just say that. You bite down on your lip and your thighs press together as you bring up your student email. You attach the file and send it to him.
“It should be in your inbox the next time you check,” you say…like a good girl. Swoon.
“Great, um, I was wondering - and just tell me to shut up if you want to - but I was wondering if you had plans this evening?”
Your heart grows wings and begins to fucking fly.
“No,” you shake your head, “I have zero plans for a Monday evening in a town that’s practically shut down.”
He chuckles, “Right. So, would you want to join me for dinner maybe?”
You at least pretend to mull it over instead of just shouting YES in some unflattering, desperate tone.
“Where were you planning on eating?” you ask.
“There’s a really nice place I like, it’s about a twenty minute drive out of town, but the food is impressive, never had a bad dish there,” he shares.
“I am hungry,” you say, “I’d love to.”
“Good, shall we?”
📖 ❤️
“Are we celebrating anything special this evening?” the waiter asks as he sets two glasses of water down, “A first date? An anniversary perhaps?”
“No.”
Both of you answer him at the same time, and try to hold your laughter in when the poor man looks taken back.
“Okay,” he says, “Can I get you all anything to drink from our wine or cocktail menu?”
“I’ll have a glass of this pinot, chilled, please,” you point to the wine and the waiter writes it down.
“I’ll have the same,” Minho smiles.
“I’ll get those right out.”
Minho bites his lip and stares down at the tablecloth, you frown.
“Is everything alright?” you ask.
“Everything’s fine,” he says, “I’m just trying to remind myself that nothing inappropriate is happening here, I’m having dinner with one of my female students, but you are an adult and so am I and it’s fine.”
“I won’t be your student after this semester,” you point out, “I don’t know if that’s helpful or not though.”
“It is,” he nods, then tilts his head, “yet somehow I still feel like I’m misbehaving.”
“It’s only food, how is that misbehaving?”
“It’s not what I’m doing,” he bites his lip again and looks up at you, “It’s what I’m thinking.”
You take a sip of water, your body practically vibrating with curiosity, “What is it that you’re thinking, exactly?”
“Things that I shouldn’t be thinking about my student,” he says quietly.
“This isn’t high school, Professor, this isn’t even undergrad. Don’t be harsh on yourself, I’m sure whatever you’re thinking about isn’t a bad thing,” you point out, hoping you sound cool and collected and not like you’re ready for him to take you right on this table.
“So if I was thinking about fucking you after class in my office, across my desk, that wouldn’t be a bad thing?”
You nearly choke on your water. Before you can respond the waiter returns with your glasses of wine, not a moment too soon.
“I’ll let you guys look over the menu and come back in a few minutes.”
You clear your throat once the waiter is gone, “I think fucking me on your desk would probably be inappropriate,” you smile, “especially to your neighboring colleagues. I have quite a mouth on me,” you say, opening your menu.
You can feel him staring at you. “I’d very much like to hear it.”
“Maybe you will, I guess we’ll see,” you shrug.
The smile that spreads across his face is so dangerously mischievous, your clit throbs where you sit and you shift uncomfortably, only making it worse.
📖 ❤️
The sexual tension between the two of you could be cut with a knife as you make your way back to his car. You reach for the door handle, but he grabs your arm and spins you around, your back pushed up against the door.
His lips crash against yours, arms caging you in which is completely fine by you. You bury your fingers in his hair on either side of his head but he pulls away.
“I want it to be clear I have never had any kind of sexual relationship with a student, ever,” he says quickly, then his lips are against yours again.
“I believe you,” you manage between lips and tongues.
He pulls away again, “And the only reason I’m pursuing this is because I can’t fucking resist you and you’re not going to be my student again after this semester,” he adds, then more kissing.
“Got it,” you mumble into his mouth.
Again he pulls away, “Seriously, even if you don’t quit law school I can never have you in class again, okay?”
“Yes! Fuck that place, I’m done, and even if I wasn’t - I wouldn’t take you again, you’re an uptight jerk of a professor, remember?” you tease him, then desperately pull him back onto your lips.
He shoves you harder against the car, his knee coming between your legs and you press yourself down on his thigh. You moan softly into his mouth and his hand smacks the side of the car.
“Get in, fuck, please get in the fucking car.”
He scrambles around to the drivers side as you jump in.
“Your place or mine?” he asks, turning the ignition.
“Which is closer?” you ask, pulling the seat belt so hard and quick that it locks up.
“Uh…mine… mine I think.”
“Then there’s your answer,” you tell him.
Five minutes of him burning rubber down the highway is too long for you not to be touching him. You reach over and caress his thigh through his jeans, moving higher and higher until you find what you’re looking for in the darkness.
He hisses as you stroke and massage his hard length through the fabric.
You unbuckle your seat belt, “Are you as good a driver as you are a professor?”
“I…why?”
You scoot as far as you can and lean over, undoing the button and zipper of his jeans, sliding your hand through the opening of his boxers until you feel the warm, velvety skin of his cock in your fist.
“Oh fuck…oh my fucking…” he pants, his knuckles turning stark white around the steering wheel.
You unbuckle his seatbelt as well and help him get it out of the way before pulling his cock from the confines of his jeans.
You stroke him a few times, then let a glob of spit drip from your lips onto him so you can continue stroking more comfortably.
“God…”
You take him in your mouth and suck, running your tongue over the tip. The way he’s nearly whimpering, eyes so wide on the road, delights you. You put your mouth on him again, taking him deep in your throat, taking turns stroking and licking.
“I’m going to cum,” he whispers hoarsely after several minutes, “I don’t have anything to…” he looks around frantically but you shake your head, popping your mouth off of him momentarily.
“I can take it,” you whisper, then suck him between your lips once more. You can feel the base of his cock twitch and brace yourself, spurts of hot cum follow seconds later and you take it all from him greedily, swallowing then wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
“Holy shit,” he says through clenched teeth. “That was so fucking hot.”
“Thank you,” you grin, pulling down the visor so you can fix yourself in the mirror. The “kiss proof” lipstick you wore today is evidently not “road head proof” and you clean up the edges of your mouth.
He reaches over and grabs your hand in his, squeezing and rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb while he speeds down the road.
📖 ❤️
The door to Minhos apartment isn’t even locked before he shoves you against it and presses his mouth to yours.
“I want to make you feel so fucking good,” he whispers, trailing kisses down your neck. He drops to his knees and unbuttons your pants, pulling them down your legs. You kick your shoes off so he can get the pants off completely.
He looks up at you and grins, tracing the lines of the black lace thong that toppled over at your apartment, “I was wishing very much that I’d get to see you in these,” he says, pressing his tongue against the tiny bit of cloth.
You gasp at the way his lips move, teasing and licking through the thin lace, “Are you really going to eat me out against the door?”
“Mmm,” he moans against your clit and your legs jerk, “Yes,” he says hooking his fingers in the strings and pulling the soaking wet cloth down your legs.
“No patience at all Professor, I’m shocked,” you tease.
“So… you can call me Minho,” he smiles, kissing and licking trails back up your legs, “but in class and when I’m fucking your pretty pussy feel free to use Professor.”
“Absolutely Professor Lee,” you rest your head against the door as his tongue wiggles between your slick. “Fuck!”
He finds your clit and wraps his lips around, gently sucking. You lay one of your thighs over his shoulder and try to steady yourself while he laps and sucks you off. You grab his hair with your fingers and move with him, fucking his face and listening to the delightful slurping, wet sounds erupting through the quiet room.
“Oh…just like that, right there,” you whine when he begins to softly lick the perfect spot, “fuckfuckfuck…yes!” you release his hair from your fist and hold yourself against the wall as your legs begin to quake, cunt throbbing in rhythmic spasms as he milks you with his lips.
“Oh my god,” you groan, trying to stand straight. He finally gets around to locking the door then picks you up, carrying you down a hallway. He pours you onto the bed and you watch as he strips himself of clothing, you follow suit, though half your outfit is in his foyer.
You lay back, bottom lip between your teeth as you watch him crawl over you, positioning himself between your legs.
“You’re sure this is okay?” he whispers, pressing his forehead against yours, the head of his cock leaking against your open cunt.
“Yes, fuck, yes I want you,” you assure him, nails digging into his shoulder. He makes a gruff noise deep in his throat and lines himself up with your opening. You wrap your legs around his waist, encouraging him to push into you and he does, slow and deep. You both moan into each other at the sensation of it.
Slowly he begins to move quicker, still deep, but urgently. The sound of skin against skin intoxicating. He sits up a bit, your hips coming with him and he grabs them, using you as an anchor to thrust into you.
“Minho…” his name comes out as a whisper, your eyes screwed shut. “So close…”
“No, no,” he tsks, slowing down and pulling himself out, pushing the head of his cock against your clit. “I’m not done with you yet.”
He slides his cock against you until you start squirming beneath him, your clit still sensitive from his front door excursions. “Please? Fuck…” you whine loudly.
“You want it?” he asks in a growl, stuffing himself inside you then pulling out again.
“Yes! Yes! Please!” you cry, your nails scraping against the sides of his legs.
“Are you sure baby?” he smirks, pushing into you and pulling out slowly several times. Your orgasm begins to build again and you meet his thrusts with your hips, chasing it. Until he pulls out again.
“What are you doing?” you groan, half laughing and out of your mind.
“Beg a little,” he urges, teasing your entrance with the tip of his cock but pulling away every time you try to push against it.
You snap your eyes open, the sight of him looking down at you makes you unhinged. “Please, Professor Lee, please let me cum,” you say it as sweetly and earnestly as you can muster.
His eyes practically roll back in his head as he lines up with you again and pushes in deep, his hands fly back to your hips and he drags you on and off his cock until your vision goes white with the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had.
“Sit up, please,” he begs breathlessly as he pulls away, stroking himself. You do as you’re told and watch as his lips part, his hand stills and shots of pearly strings shoot across your breasts.
“Hold on,” he says when he can move again, then disappears behind a door, emerging a few moments later with a warm damp hand towel. He kisses you deeply as he cleans his cum off your chest.
“That was so fucking good,” you whisper, taking his face in your hands.
“Yes,” he sighs, pulling you down beneath the blankets with him, “Yes it was.”
He holds you close to him, your eyes getting heavier, “I think my books are still in your car. We could go over the paper on tort law I bombed over breakfast tomorrow?”
He chuckles and nods, “It’s a date.”
📖 ❤️
You sit in Professor Lees classroom as he passes back the latest exam. Term is almost over and everyone seems to be reeling with nerves around you.
He slows beside your desk and lays your test down, “Much better, Miss ___, much better.”
Seungmin looks over at your test, “Hey! Not bad,” he smiles cheerfully.
“I’ve had a lot of help this semester,” you smile.
At the bottom of the last page you read the note of thin red ink,
See you at my place tonight?
The End
Endnote:
I am in my Lee Know slut era. I will not be taking questions about my worship of him at this time, thank you. As always, if you made it far enough to read this, please accept my virtual smooch.
Also as always this is unbeta’d bc that’s typically how I roll so it could be absolute trash but that’s okay bc we’re just having fun.
#skz fanfiction#Lee know fanfiction#skz smut#lee know smut#Lee Minho#skz romance#Lee know romance#Lee Know x reader#fanfiction#stray kids
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Hand sewed a tiny Hawaiian shirt for my Peppino plush, it was a really fun project to do!
The concept art:
The procedure:
The result:
Look how smart and handsome he looks! I can't wait to take him with me on my travels.
I recommend sewing outfits for plushies that you care and love for, they will appreciate the dedication you put into it.
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