#smart home satire

[untypicable]

The Existential Horror of Seeing Yourself in a Ring Doorbell Notification Still

There was a time when I thought walking to my own front door was a perfectly ordinary act. Innocuous. Graceful, even, if the wind was behind me and I’d remembered to zip my coat up. But that was before I installed a Ring doorbell—before my entire sense of movement, posture, and dignity was shattered by a grainy still image captured at the precise moment I looked like I was either drunkenly…

[sassysnowperson]

How Not to Read Terry Pratchett's Discworld Novels

With the very exciting fantasy books poll bracket going on Discworld and how to read it is in the zeitgeist again. I figured I would take a crack at adding to this important topic with a guide drawn from my own chaotic mess of a reading journey:

Learn that Terry Pratchett is a fantasy author that several people whose reading taste you admire enjoy. He apparently blends comedy, good plotting, and a world that is both grounded and satirical and you're a big fan of all those things.

Fabulous! Decide to read some of his work.

Go to your local library. Love a good library. You're new to the area, so you're also exploring the library for the first time, too.

You have found Terry Pratchett! Points to you! Pull a book off the shelf at random. It's called The Dark Side of the Sun.

Start reading. Realize that this feels more like sci-fi than fantasy. Sigh in smug superiority about people who get the two confused.

Realize about halfway through that this is not, in fact, a Discworld book.

Nobody warned you the guy wrote other things!

It's still good, tho. Maybe a little rough but this was an older book and the author clearly has potential. Let's try again.

Review his works. The vast majority are Discworld. You are highly unlikely to grab another non-Discworld book. Go back to the Terry Pratchett section of the library.

Oh hey he wrote a book with Neil Gaiman! You've hears of that guy!

Grab Good Omens off the shelf.

Take it home, realize, much sooner, that this is also not a Discworld book. Still enjoy yourself thoroughly. You should read more of this Gaiman dude, too.

But okay. For real this time. Go back to the library and don't leave without *CONFIRMING* you have a Discworld book this time.

Grab a book. Look at the cover. Read the back Discworld! Ha HA! You've done it!

It's called Thud.

You are utterly gripped by a story of a man wrestling with himself, his growing child, the political tensions of a city and extremism that echoes reality beautifully while still being entirely true to itself. It's a story of responsibility and love and building communities and Fantasy Chess. You are driven nearly to tears by the sentence *WHERE IS MY COW?*

You emerge from the book fundamentally changed as a person, and finally understanding what all the fuss is about. You are now a Terry Pratchett reader for life.

You realize Thud was in the middle of a series. That was a part of another series. That explains why there was a feeling that you were supposed to know some of these people already.

You finally find one of those flowcharts and figure out a more sensible reading order.

I always sort of laugh when people ask where to start reading Discworld, because Thud would be first on absolutely nobody's sensible Terry Pratchett reading order. I'm still tempted to recommend it though!

(My actual advice: Going Postal if you love con men being stuck doing the right thing, Wee Free Men if you like YA and smart angry girls owning their own power, Guards! Guards! *and* Men at Arms if you like crime shows with heart and are okay giving earlier work a try (the quality gets better and better, but I think it needs at least two books to get you into it), and Monstrous Regiment if you like gender and queer feelings, anti-war books told in the middle of a war, and/or would prefer a stand alone novel...and, you know, Thud if you want a great read and don't mind some chaos.)

[catscidr]

// genshin men as podcast hosts //

i don't have anything to say for myself i just thought this was really funny LMAO suddenly thought about this in the shower like a week ago nd i couldn't stop giggling to myself ( ´艸｀) cw: crack, wrote this with a modern au in mind (unless there's podcasts in teyvat.......) includes: alhaitham, ayato, pantalone, tartaglia, kaeya, albedo, cyno, heizou, lyney, venti, dottore, itto, kaveh, kazuha, wriothesley

the satirical Chad Alpha Sigma Male ↳alhaitham, ayato, pantalone, tartaglia, kaeya

Whether they’re giving ridiculous financial advice, telling people how to get women to like them or spouting absurd political takes, they somehow have a loyal fanbase. They’re always playing up the Sigma Male persona for the sake of satire but, because this is the internet, people take them seriously.

They'll say something nonsensical like “you should treat women like you treat your nonstick frying pans” and their listeners will eat it up, praising them for such a smart analogy when, in reality, their podcast setup consists of their laptop and a mic set up at their kitchen table and they just laid eyes on a skillet while they were rambling about nothing in particular. Doesn’t matter how they speak either; they could have a typical, exaggerated youtuber accent or always speak in a deadpan tone- people will still take what they say at face value and miss the irony and satire.

Seeing people argue online entertains them, though. Plus they make good money

the one that always has homoerotic tension with their guests (no homo tho) ↳albedo, cyno, heizou, lyney, venti

Their podcast isn’t organized, they kind of just ramble about whatever topic comes to mind. There’s no theme, no plan when they start recording- they basically just have a conversation with whoever they’re recording with and see where it goes. Sometimes they could be cracking jokes about the corniest things (___er? i hardly know her!) or they’ll be having deep conversations about their childhood and why they turned out this way.

OR. They’ll chat with their guest and turn what they say into a dumb sex joke, even if it’s a stretch. Podcast episodes with them are always hilarious to listen to, the kind that you can’t listen to in public because you’ll end up holding in your laughter and making yourself look like a Fool.

They have the best vibes, too; listening to them and their guest makes you feel like you’re a part of the recording session, even if you can’t respond to them 

has THE most outlandish storytimes ↳ dottore, itto, kaveh, kazuha, wriothesley

Every single podcast episode with them is absolutely unhinged. They’ll start the recording with their intro, and then they’ll hit you with the most insane storytime opener. There’s no line to cross either; it doesn’t matter what kind of story they have in store, they will talk about it (and make it funny, even if it might not be). One time when they uploaded one of their podcast episodes to YouTube it ended up getting age-restricted in the first five minutes.

They’re the kind of host that can captivate anyone when they’re telling a story, whether they’re speaking in an extremely animated manner or in a convincingly serious tone. Whenever they have special guests over, they make it an unspoken challenge to one-up eachother on who has the craziest story to tell (most of the time they’re the winner).

Their podcast is the kind of thing you listen to while you’re getting ready in the morning... though it might not be the best idea because 9 times out of 10, you stop in your tracks to stare at your laptop screen in disbelief to listen to them talk about the time they accidentally set off the fire alarm in a retirement home and what happened in consequence to that 

[tomorrowusa]

Historian and writer on democracy Timothy Snyder says that there should be no question as to who is dominant in the Musk-Trump relationship.

Allies and aides to Donald Trump should be increasingly concerned by Elon Musk’s proximity to and influence on the US president-elect, the Yale historian and bestselling author Timothy Snyder said. “Trump is a little guy, and Musk is a big guy when it actually comes to having money,” Snyder said. “And I think if you were a friend of Trump, you would be worried.” [ ... ] Snyder expects that Trump’s soon-to-be home, the White House, will be a stage for uncomfortable and damaging discord between the president-elect and his most powerful ally, the world’s richest man. “I think we overestimate Trump and we underestimate Musk,” Snyder said. “People can’t help but think that Trump has money, but he doesn’t. He’s never really had money. He’s never even really claimed to have money. His whole notion is that you have to believe that he has money. But he’s never been able to pay his own debts. He’s never been able to finance his own campaigns. “Musk, with an amount of money that was meaningless to him, was able to finance Trump’s campaign, essentially.” [ ... ] Since Trump’s victory in November, from Mar-a-Lago in Florida to Notre Dame in Paris, Musk has been constantly at Trump’s side, earning the satirical nickname “first buddy” but also an appointment with the biotech investor Vivek Ramaswamy to jointly head the “department of government efficiency”, or “Doge”, a group tasked with meeting Trump’s wildly ambitious campaign promise of slashing trillions from federal spending. Considering instances of Musk’s apparent influence over Trump as the president-elect has struggled to control congressional Republicans – an unruly party already split on how to continue funding the government they also want to defund – Snyder said: “All the threats that Trump is now going to issue – ‘I’m going to primary people, I’m going to sue people’ – Musk is going to pay for that, not Trump. And when Trump needs money for anything, he’s going to be asking Musk. “Unless Trump breaks it off right now, he’s going to be in this kind of dependent relationship for the rest of the way, because you get used to people giving you money … and I think if you were a friend of Trump, you would be worried.”

Prof. Snyder has invented a name for this peculiar relationship.

“So I thought about this dependency position,” Snyder said. “I was going to call it Muskotrumpovia, because I think Musk is a more important person, but Trumpomuskovia had a nicer ring to it. “And also, I wanted Muskovia because I wanted the idea of Russia to be there in the background, because a lot of smart Russia hands are saying this all the time: this is kind of like the 1990s in Russia. You have the doddering, rich-but-not-very-rich president [Boris Yeltsin], surrounded by more youthful, more active, ambitious oligarchs. That’s the kind of scenario [America is] in.”

Trump thinks he's Vladimir Putin but he's more like Boris Yeltsin – but stupid instead of drunk like ol' Boris.

[sirobvious]

Finally watched Starship Troopers and I have a lot to say about it.

First of all, the idea that anyone could see this movie as not being a satirical parody of American militarism and fascism is baffling to me, then again there’s people that think Warhammer 40,000 is pro-militarism and fascism, and I guess if you watch this when you’re dumb and 15 it might go over your head.

It’s extremely dubious as to whether the bugs are actually aggressing against the Federation in the first place, and very likely that it’s something exaggerated or made up wholesale by the government to justify their own aggressive expansion.

It has the plot and all the trappings of a big dumb oorah go-America action movie, but reframed as a terrible tragedy.

Just about all the main characters join the military for reasons that to not involve “wanting to join the military,” but the society they live in has set it up so that for most of them it’s the only way forward in life, and in the military they’re worth less than the uniforms they’re wearing.

They’re sent to a training camp that abuses them violently, and then sent to the front lines to die. Not to fight, to die.

Analyzing this movie from a military tactics perspective, the mobile infantry isn’t meant to survive, their only job is to deliver death to the enemy’s homes by shooting those micronukes into the hives. The rifles and body armor they’re all equipped with are near useless and only exist to make them feel brave enough to go towards the enemy and shoot the micronukes.

Their squads don’t have medics, machine gunners, or anti-armor equipment. (The nuke launchers don’t count as anti-armor they’re too dangerous to shoot at anything within like 200 yards.) In the first mission, if they had had any of that, they could have held off the bug counterattack enough to get way more soldiers off-planet. It still would’ve been a losing battle but it wouldn’t have been such a massacre. Hell, it might have even spared more bug lives, because the rifles still kill bugs, but do so extremely slowly, enough that it just results in both sides dying more. But survival of the federation infantry was never an objective, they are just a delivery system for the nukes, they might as well be suicide-bombers.

In the second mission, the government knew it was a trap but sent them anyway, without telling them.

Rico is not a good commander, but keeps getting bumped up the ranks anyway because of the mass death. He doesn’t think for himself and the only order I think he actually gives in the whole movie is “kill them all,” which, yeah, great plan. If they had fallen back at that moment, more of them would’ve survived.

Once he actually starts climbing the ranks, he literally doesn’t even say anything original, he just repeats what he’s been told, quoting the Lieutenant word-for-word.

The Lieutenant, despite being a crazy fascist like everyone else, is legitimately a good leader and commander. No one would’ve made it out of that ambush if he didn’t make the calls he did when he did, but Rico, who replaces him, doesn’t have any of those command skills. He’s got all the macho bravado but none of the smarts. He’s going to be the kind of commander to lead a valiant doomed charge into enemy machine gun nests.

And then at the end when it shows all the surviving main characters in their higher-ranking positions that they only got because people ahead of them died, and it shows the subordinates even younger than the main characters were when they joined. It was sickening.

And also all the top brass are just straight up dressed like Nazis.

It was a great movie though, especially if you're an Imperial Guard player like myself.

[viperixsworld]

GUTS, luke castellan x oc(prologue)

summary: where an aphordite daugther falls for this lying hermes boy.

disclaimer: english is not my firt language.

We don't get to choose who we fall in love with.

Arianne knew that. She believed it to her core. Love was something magical and illogical. Her own father, said it when he told her about her mom. Apparently, she was a beautiful young woman that crossed paths with Nicholas Deveraux (her father) during his travels in Europe before officially settle down in the family business in Chicago.

Everyone expected that Nicholas would come back from Europe with a bad tan and a few souvenirs, not a freaking newborn baby daugther.

Nicholas was a loving father, but not a really smart man. That is It's one of the reasons she didn't question when a man showed up at her Chicago home, offering her only daughter a scholarship to a prestigious boarding school.

Arianne came to camp half-blood when she was thirteen years old. After some encounters with several monsters, Chiron himself went to her doorstep in Chicago to get her to camp.

Nevertheless, during her arrival there was an incident. An incident involving three more demigod, a satire and a cyclops.

Arianne was claimed a few weeks after the attack, same as the two demigos that survived. Luke Castellan, son of Hermes, and Annabeth Chase, daugther of Atenea.

And let me tell you, Arianne Deveraux didn't choose to fall for the son of the Traveler. It was fate, or maybe was her mother ? She wasn't really sure. They started off as friends, adapting to camp at same time, being the same age, having the same friends.

Arianne was a nice, generous and beautiful girl, she was the perfect definition of an Aphordite daugther. Everyone that knew her personally (and even those who didn't) held her close to their hearts. Knowing that if you had to trust someone, you could trust Arianne Deveraux.

It was also a flaw, being the goodie older sister of Camp Half-blood.

At sixteen, she was named captain of Aphordite cabin. At the same time, Luke Castellan was named captain of Hermes cabin. They started to spend more time together, attending bonefire together, sparring together... Then the gifts started, Luke liked how her eyes would shine everytime she opened a present, no matter how stupid or simple. He would get her little details, It was his way of showing love, his love language, and her siblings would beg her to ask Luke to please, please, get them things for the cabin.

On the othet hand, Arianne would be (even without her knowing) the best of the presents for Luke. She was kind and beautiful, and gave him all the attetion he craved. And even Annabeth liked her, and would let her do her hair when she was tired. She was a part of their little, broken family.

Sometimes, Ari would cover up for Luke, when he sneak out to get things for other half-bloods and for himself. Like a PlayStation or some chess board for Annabeth, or his little presents for Ari.

Sometimes, Luke would sneak her in the Big House, to use the phone to talk to her father.

Every friday night, the would sit in the shore of the lake, to talk about everything or to be completly silent. Every time the scar on Luke's face hurt, Ari would stay by his side and try to ease the pain. Every time Ari felt like the stress of carring everyones problems and her owns, Luke was there to relieve her.

They were partners in crime, always there for each other.

That, until an enemy emerges from the shadows and resentment.

That, until one betrays the other.

Until Arianne Deveraux feels love and hate in her guts.

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: married to marco edition

marco x male reader

-> marco is NOT that old at all, i jus feel like itd b so funny for him to b seen as old for his lack of knowledge on technology and slang terminology/phrases

-> also whitebeard having instagram is so fucking funny to me bye

liked by marco4[name], portgasace, and 10k others

polo.[name]: mirror selfie 🪞

tagged: marco.phx

marco.phx: ur new username is such a terrible pun babe

-> polo.[name]: maybe youd appreciate my grand creativity if u jus matched w me ffs

-> marco.phx: dont b a smart ass we aren't matching usernames

-> polo.[name]: ur the only man that enjoys being a smart ass dont give me attitude rn

portgasace: ohhh u guys r the type to jus take mirror selfies at the gym and then dip 🙄🙄

-> marco.phx: work on ur form and then we can talk

-> WHIT3BEARD!: BOOM roasted

[liked by marco.phx, polo.[name] and 400 others]

-> portgasace: ？？？？？

eee.izo: aww my favorite gay couple ❤️ i love whenever u two post

liked by polo.[name], eee.izo, and 15k others

marco4[name]: username change even though i already put a ring on his finger and that apparently wasnt enough??

tagged: polo.[name]

polo.[name]: seeeee isnt that just such a cute username <333

-> marco4[name]: ur cuter baby ;)

-> portgasace: BARF BARF BARF VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT

vivavista: awww marco does love [name] how adorable

-> marco4[name]: who said i didnt?

-> vivavista: ur username before u changed it....

-> marco4[name]: ur fw me....

chef.thatch: seeing marco being so publicly whipped for his hubby is heartwarming

[liked by polo.[name], portgasace, and 100 others]

-> polo.[name]: hehe hes all mine 🤭🤭🤭

liked by marco4[name], WHIT3BEARD!, polo.[name] and 17k others

eee.izo: absolutely sick to my stomach i hate these two

tagged: marco4[name] and polo.[name]

polo.[name]: holy shit this is such an old photooo

-> marco4[name]: ur talkin sbt it as if it wasnt jus three years ago...

-> polo.[name]: not seeing ur GRAYING hair is weird for me OLD MAN

-> portgasace: LMFOAOA damn gonna have to report marco for being a creepy old man for dating [name]

-> marco4[name]: u two r idiots, im only 5 years older than u [name]

-> polo.[name]: its ok i love u my beautiful old man husband

chef.thatch: aww isnt it so cutteee that they were brought tgt by boss

-> WHIT3BEARD!: if they have a kid i expect them to name it after me.

-> polo.[name]: all due respect i dont think i wuld b able to sleep well at night knowing my kids name is "edward"

[liked by portgasace, marco4[name], and 100 others]

liked by marco4[name], vivavista, and 14k others

polo.[name]: step by step guide on how to bag a blonde baddie:

1. be me

tagged: marco4[name]

marco4[name]: whatever happened to callin me ur husband???

-> polo.[name]: ur my baddie husband marco b proud <3

-> marco4[name]: young ppl and their terminology.....

eee.izo: i wouldve never used the word baddie to describe marco...

-> polo.[name]: hes a hot mysterious stoic damaged baddie old man and hes alll miiiinnneee 😍

-> eee.izo: its so hard to tell when ur being satirical

portgasace: he a baddie he showin his pantyyyy ‼️‼️

-> polo.[name]: he shake it like jellyyy 😩

-> marco4[name]: im uncomfortable.

liked by polo.[name], portgasace, and 15k others

marco4[name]: me n my husband ❤️

tagged: polo.[name]

polo.[name]: im going feral for u daddy 😻😻😻😻

-> marco4[name]: ffs

-> portgasace: count on [name] to humiliate his husband in his own comment section

[liked by polo.[name], vivavista, and 200 others]

polo.[name]: why did u choose such a hot photo of u im gonna have to fight for my life in these comments now :/

-> marco4[name]: theyre all unimportant babe dw abt them

eee.izo: marcos tiddies on my tl 😩😩😩

vivavista: damnnn marco u lookin fine aslll 😘

chef.thatch: wait till u come home i got a surprise for u in the kitchen baby

-> polo.[name]: no fuckin way.

liked by marco4[name], eee.izo, portgasace, and 10k others

polo.[name]: smoking kills...BUT BEING SMOKING HOT??? THATS A DIFFERENT STORY

tagged: marco4[name]

marco4[name]: ur unbelievable????

-> polo.[name]: i love u sm u sexy FREAK

-> marco4[name]: PLEASE STOP.

portgasace: bro cooked fr in thst caption

-> polo.[name]: yk me 🤭🤭

-> chef.thatch: what exactly did [name] cook...

-> marco4[name]: thats what im trying to figure out

eee.izo: what a truly poetic caption wowwww

-> polo.[name]: i discourage smoking for everyone. instead of smoking guys, just find urself smoking hot ppl to fill the voic. perfect example is my husband marco <3

[liked by marco4[name], portgasace, and 100 others]

liked by polo.[name], WHIT3BEARD!, and 20k others

marco4[name]: married life is for me

tagged: polo.[name]

polo.[name]: AWWWWWWWWWWWW u love me

-> marco4[name]: of course i do

portgasace: VOMIITTTEDDD VOMITTTTEEDD (u guys r so cutie wootie patootie awww)

eee.izo: took him being a whore thru his twenties to realize this, how cute

-> eee.izo: im sorry making fun of marco is too funny, this was very cute

-> marco4[name]: thanks + sleep w one eye open tn

WHIT3BEARD!: like i said tht kid u adopt better b named after me.

-> marco4[name]: [name] just visibly cringed.

polo.[name]'s story

my favorite view should i try climbing him guys <333

marco4[name] replied to your story: ......i know this means u love me so im just gonna say i love u too

[hanbindans]

BIG SPOON OR LITTLE SPOON??? 🎤🎤

a/n: I wrote this on impulse at 1 am and I have no regrets. I think I'm right btw but feel free to argue with me in the reblogs or comments if you want because I want friends. lowercase intended (I'm on desktop fight me if you want) also this is SATIRE in case it's not clear

jiwoong

big spoon all the way. little spoon makes him a little uncomfortable. like what if you bite him between the shoulder blades?? if he wants to be held he needs to be face-to-face with you so he can keep track of your moves and make sure you're not planning to attack him.

zhang hao

hmmm. mostly big spoon but it depends on his mood. sometimes after a long day dealing with people not as smart as him (everyone) he needs to be restrained as the little spoon so he doesn't go feral and commit any crimes. and he likes it when his back gets all warm and he can calm down 😗.

hanbin

little spoon but he doesn't know it. insists on being big spoon because it makes him feel like he's protecting you but actually he is the one who needs to be protected. we all need to be protect hanbin at all costs. he DESERVES to be little spoon.

taerae

50% big spoon and 50% little spoon. he doesn't really care. you had a bad day? taerae is big spoon that day. he had to walk home in the rain? YOU'RE big spoon so he can warm up. a king who is secure in his masculinity.

matthew

little spoon by default but he wants to be big spoon so bad he will actually wrestle you so he can get behind you. I believe he is pretty strong though he will give great cuddles as big spoon with those arms. makes you pretty warm and toasty.

ricky

too cool for little spoon. has to be big spoon every time this is simply not up for discussion with him. just go with it. and to be fair he is a pretty good big spoon because mans got them custom sized limbs perfect for holding another human.

gyubin

hmm.... I say little spoon at heart but big spoon by default because there is no big spooning this boy, the only other option is being his jetpack. he'd rather have his head cradled to your chest as his limbs cling to you because it has similar vibes to little spoon, just without the little. you should still ask for him to be big spoon sometimes though because I feel like he would be pretty warm.

gunwook

75% big spoon and 25% little spoon. imo he should be little spoon-ed more but once again his height is kind of working against him on this one. but he also wants to be big spoon most of the time so it's all good in the end. be sure to be his jetpack once in a while tho so bro can fill his cuddles quota.

[gaykarstaagforever]

Heathers (1989)

"If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?"

"...Probably."

[TRIGGER WARNING: The movie is about murder, suicide, depression, anxiety and bullying, and it's a Rated-R movie from 1989, so SA is going to keep coming up. I'm going to be referencing all of that in this review. Also I'm a gay man and will be teasing people who have made this movie their personality, so tap out now if you and your cool vinyl collection can't deal with that.]

The movie starts as a fun black comedic take-down of saccharine 80s John Hughes teen romance movies. New-kid-in-school badboy edgelord JD, and repentant former wannabe cool girl Veronica, hook up and decide to live out the ultimate bullied nerd fantasy by getting revenge on Heather, Veronica's frenemy and leader of the Heathers, the most popular clique in school.

But when things go darker than Veronica planned, the comedic satire becomes a Shakespearean melodrama, as Veronica is suddenly confronted by the surreal consequences of what she's done, including realizing that the simplest solution to a problem may in fact make everything a hell of a lot worse.

I'm not going to spoil it for the 5 of you who haven't seen this yet. Everyone else (including me now) has seen it, as it is probably one of the most universally-popular Internet-culture movies there is. You've seen at least one meme from it.

Probably this one.

While a flop in 1989, it quickly became a cult movie on home media, even by the late 90s being one of those movies your older brother and his friends introduced you to to let you know they didn't think you were a lame stupid baby anymore. And it seems now with streaming it is still kind of in that spot, the older brothers with tapes being replaced by Gen X / Millennials posting about how cool it is in front of teenaged lurkers.

So how did I miss it? I WAS the older brother growing up, and I was 7 when it came out. And when I did go back and get into all the 80s movies I missed out on by being a toddler when they were new, I stumbled into the Hughes stuff, notably Pretty in Pink, which is fundamentally the movie Heathers is mocking. As cynical and jaded as I am, I'm also a fruitcake, so I love me some sappy sunny crap (if it's to a greater artistic point, which the Hughes movies are). What I knew of Heathers had me thinking it was merely a demonstration of pretentious anti "popular media" whining from the sort of people who wear outdated hats and are insufferable about punk music.

...And it totally is. But also, it's more than that. It's actually really good and smart and occasionally insightful, when it restrains itself from all the emo "I can be your devil or your angle" posturing. Which, to be fair, it also makes fun of. Before that was even a thing.

Christian Slater and Wynonna Rider have fantastic chemistry, and there's never enough of the two of them just enjoying each other's company. Even when they're arguing, it feels like a real couple going through something they'll almost certainly get over in a few hours (until they very much can't, and then they'll literally try to kill each other). Passion, is the word for it. Sardonic and low-key most of the time, but still passion. And that's always delightful.

It's well-shot and well-directed, with good uses of lighting and dynamic camera angles. There is a lot of scenes that are just two people talking, and it's never boring. Impressive for filmmakers who were, at the time, fresh-faced and working with a small budget. The style ends up being like if John Waters (no relation to Dan Waters, who wrote it) had directed Corman's Rock and Roll High School: goofy and surreal and sarcastic, but also willing to get dark and push boundaries to make a point.

All the characters - even joke side ones - are thoughtfully drawn, given emotional depth and realistic motivations, even when they're doing something stagey and broad in this highly stylized, Tim Burton-esque dark fairytale world. Wynonna Rider fought for the role against all advice, and it is perfectly in-line with the characters she played and the movies she played them in of this era, Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands. Maybe even Bram Stoker's Dracula, if we're talking surreal melodramatic action-horror with disco lighting.

It is a movie with lots of big ideas (probably too many), but it manages to get those across effectively. What starts as a simple teenager revenge fantasy morphs into an armchair analysis of what America does to its children - instead of nurturing them and preparing them for the adult world, it points at them and gawks, and cashes in on their fear and self-loathing and predictable self-destruction. Everyone in the cruel high school world of Heathers is both a perpetrator and a victim, desperately fighting for survival by both submitting to abuse, and then immediately turning around and heaping it on someone "beneath" them. Death here isn't genuinely mourned or reflected upon; everyone simply starts plotting how they're going to exploit this new gap in the line. And whether the victims kill themselves or are murdered only matters as far as someone can spin that into self-promotion. Even the priest at the funeral (the late great Glenn Shadix, Beetlejuice again!) uses the supposed suicide of a child as an opportunity to make a ham-fisted youth-oriented alter call.

By the end of the movie, Veronica has triumphantly decided to rise up - not merely against the popular kids and exploitative / apathetic adults - but against the entire system of unending cruelty she didn't even know she was still playing a part in when she was actively attacking it. This finally sets her at odds with JD, who is too consumed by hatred to realize that the violence he thinks is a solution is fundamentally part of the problem.

And yet, as they come to blows, Veronica is also replaying the very same game that led her to become one of the Heathers in the first place, and then turn on them: use people to secure power, they use and hurt you, so you attack them. She knows the whole system is bad and broken and wants out, and seems to acknowledge the only way out is through earnest friendships and "growing out" of being shallow and petty. But by the end of the movie, despite her rebuke of JD...has she managed it? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe the system is inescapable, and all you can hope to do is find a way to force it to work for you. And choose then to make it less cruel. Maybe.

It's not a good or happy ending, it's just an ending. But a thought-provoking one, and the movie does it well.

...Mostly. The dialogue is trying very hard to be distinctively witty, but mostly comes across like a worse version of Clueless-ese, with more gratuitous vulgarities and no kitschy charm. A writer being very proud of how smart they are, without noticing that real people don't talk like this because it's awkward and obnoxious. Everyone's dialogue is basically interchangeable, including between the kids and adults (JD and his lunatic father have a fun distinctive thing they do, but that's about it). Now, lines being awkward and obnoxious doesn't mean they aren't eminently meme-able. In fact, that usually means they are. And they certainly are here. Nearly every scene has a memorable bon mot that can be endlessly parroted by people doing that so you won't notice their off-putting personality. ...I wouldn't call that a win for anyone, but it is certainly a thing.

Remember: just because someone said it in a movie, doesn't mean it's inherently funny or profound or relevant to the conversation you've currently having. And you're not suddenly smart because you found a movie quote that you think expresses your exceptional hot take. In fact, that might be a sign that your are NOT in fact smart or insightful. Just putting that out there.

Also the "mineral water is for fags" thing is only funny because it's stupid. It was stupid then. That's the point of that being in the movie, to show how stupid these podunk morons in Ohio are. Stop repeating that 'joke.' It isn't funny out of context.

Gen X. Looking at you on this one. It's just you trying to give yourselves permission to still call people "fags." Doesn't work that way.

Christian Slater claims he was "channeling Jack Nicholson for this film." Yeah, okay, dude. And for the rest of your life, all the time. He's still a good actor and very charming here, but if that "Christian Slater" thing he does annoys you, it's at 11 here.

The pacing and tone get pretty muddled after the initial black revenge comedy stuff stops, as the movie uneasily transitions to its second major focus. It stops being funny entirely for awhile, until near the end when it suddenly remembers that was supposed to be a part of this, then sitcomy stuff elbows its way in. And JD's plans post-breakup with Veronica are left vague until they suddenly aren't, and I feel like I missed something. I didn't, and there's a point to them doing it this way, but it is handled kind of confusingly.

The movie is a scaled-down version of whatever epic Greek tragicomedy the writer originally dreamed up, and the studio demanded the pitch-black orginal ending be changed. And you can kind of feel that throughout. As an R-rated movie it is a lot tamer than it feels like it should be, and I for one wish the kills were gorier and more over-the-top. That more fits the tone. Maybe that was never the original intention, but you don't do Titus Andronicus without getting gross with it, you know?

Any SA stuff is handled tactfully, and there isn't much of it, and it serves a narrative purpose. But that still feels like something that is only in here because it's 1989 and R-rated movies have to go there. And I don't feel like they really give those incidents the kind of emotional impact they should have on the victims. But again, this is a surreal world of unending cruelty, so maybe people shrug that off here. It's more my personal preference, if you're going to be gross to women in a movie (probably stop that, unless that's what the movie is about. Rape and molestation are not screenplay spices.)

The good far outweighs the bad, though. And Heathers is good, and is deservedly a timeless cult-classic for growing boys and girls, given what it deals with and how well it deals with it. It's entertaining and it makes you think, which is what good movies do. And it's endlessly meme-able, and that's okay, even if the people who meme it the most are silently warning you that they're pretentious and annoying about music. And that's only sort-of the movie's fault.

Also all the women in this movie have 9 lbs of dry fly-away hair that is just...painful. I realize this "unkempt Barbie hair" style was the best we could do at the time, but... I feel like I can hear it crunching every time they move.

Oh, and shoulder pads for days, shoulder pads FOREVER. I will never understand why the hell the 80s thought women weren't boxy enough. It was a thing.

[thesoftboiledegg]

"Mort: Ragnarick" was pure fun, but a different kind of fun than "Rickfending Your Mort" and "Rise of the Numbericons: The Movie."

"Rickfending Your Mort" was a laid-back clip show that gave the viewer a break after the insanity of "Unmortricken"--a smart decision but not one with a lot of substance. "Rise of the Numbericons: The Movie" has been controversial. I thought it was entertaining, but it would've worked better as a YouTube short.

If "Unmortricken" represented lore episodes at their best, "Mort: Ragnarick" was the best of classic Rick and Morty adventures: a wildly imaginative plot, goofy satire, fantasy science and Rick and Morty working together as a duo, reminding us how much they need each other.

Rick's the driving force behind these adventures, but without Morty, he's just a miserable old man trying to distract himself. Morty's the heart and voice of reason. He also gives Rick something to live for. Without him, Beth, Jerry or Summer, why do anything?

Rick pretends to live for science, but "science" just caused decades of grief and isolation. His family isn't a concept; it's an entity that loves him back.

Bigfoot, an evil pope, Pokeballs, Valhalla, clone bodies, infinite energy sources, zombie Summer, Rick screaming "PO-O-O-O-OPE!": only Rick and Morty could combine all those concepts into one cohesive episode. I never thought "Wow, that took me out of the story." The Pokeball came close, but the end credits scene tied it all together.

Jerry's scene was a standout, too. Chris Parnell's reading of "Nana!" was genuinely sweet. It seems like Jerry's becoming a (mostly) willing participant in Rick's schemes instead of a helpless guinea pig. Is Rick learning that releasing his iron grip on his family makes them more attached to him, not less?

I also loved it when the Vikings called Rick a witch. He loves crystals, plays with magic, has two crows as familiars: damn right, he is!

You have to suspend your disbelief a couple of times, mainly when Bigfoot attacks Rick in the kitchen (he crushed Rick earlier like it was nothing, but now Rick walks away with a few scratches?) Still, the little character moments overshadow these flaws.

Judging by old posts that I've seen floating around, I think Rick and Morty's relationship is finally becoming what fans wanted it to be in seasons 1-3. Rick's still mean, but he's less dominant and more of Morty's mischievous co-conspirator. An alien mobster freaking out in "The Jerrick Trap" because of Rick's "touch my grandson and die" policy is straight out of fanon.

Rick's more physically gentle, and Morty responds in kind. He grabs and supports him when Bigfoot attacks him at home and touches his arm during their weird, overdramatic Bigfoot send-off. His pained cry of "Rick!" when Bigfoot nearly crushes him is heart-wrenching. Operation Phoenix is back online, but Morty's tired of watching him die!

Season five is when Rick started showing emotions on his face besides that cold, pissed-off glare--we all know the one--and in season seven, it's accelerated to Rick crying in front of others. He matches Morty's feelings instead of pretending that he's above human emotions.

Needless to say, dudebros have been flooding Adult Swim's Instagram comments and Twitter replies with "Rick and Morty is shit now!" "Rick's too nice!" "Rick and Morty has gone woke!" Justin Roiland's firing gave them more fuel, but they started even while he was still on the payroll.

Their favorite line is "Rick isn't Rick anymore!" And they're right. Rick's not the asshole from seasons 1-2 who had a couple of redeeming qualities. He's not the monster that he was in season three and parts of season four. He's not the defeated man in season five who started to realize that he's hurting people but still wanted Morty to look after him like a child.

Season six is when he started to grow up--not a lot, but enough that he began taking on adult responsibilities instead of thinking he's a teenage boy who sees another teenager as his peer. I wish we saw more therapy appointments, but while they're mostly off-screen, we're definitely seeing the effects.

This doesn't make Rick a great person or atone for what he's done. Some of his crimes are beyond atonement, and not just the obvious ones like blowing up planets. This is a universe where everyone has a body count and events that should've destroyed Earth have no effect on civilization. Death and destruction don't mean that much.

His worst crimes are the personal ones: destroying Morty's psyche in "The Vat of Acid Episode," treating his family like garbage for most of season three. You can't atone for that. You can't apologize for that.

However, I don't only judge characters by their past. I judge them by their capacity to change.

Walter White is a brilliant character, but he's not a personal favorite because his arc is a slow descent into hell. Rick's slowly climbing out of his crater, and while it doesn't erase the past, it's still happening. For me, that's more satisfying than watching a monster become a bigger monster.

Of course, he's still not above cosplaying as Odin while wearing a golden crown that literally says "GOD." But the former "no girls allowed" alpha male has become a dedicated therapy patient who's also a thirst object that would make bros cry about double standards. Sure, Rick, you're a god, now put on that weird half-shirt and prance around a little.

[the-most-humble-blog]

⚔️ The Mind Behind the Flame

Keep calling me names. I’ll keep making your role models wet. 📸🦁

Welcome to the mental perimeter breach zone of the-most-humble-blog.

If you’re here, you’ve either:

Survived one of my posts,

Reblogged it in rage hoping someone else would call me a monster,

Or you’re one of those rare few with enough cognitive muscle to recognize a pattern of truth when it slaps your ideology across the face.

Either way: You're here. You're reading. And that means the trap worked. 🧠🐺

🧠 Who Runs This Blog?

Call me Mr. Humble. Not because I’m meek — but because I let my words slaughter politely.

I’m a former military leader, multi-degree academic, global observer, and cultural analyst with no allegiance to fragile narratives.

I’ve led men. I’ve mentored women. I’ve been across borders, across belief systems, and across the battlefield of modern manhood.

I’ve seen the psychological fallout of cultural regression. I’ve seen how truth, logic, and masculinity are now treated like viruses. I’ve seen brilliant men go silent out of fear. I’ve seen mediocre minds weaponize pity for power.

And I said: No more.

This blog is what happens when a highly aware mind gets tired of pretending it's confused.

💥 What This Blog Is

A digital guillotine for mainstream delusion.

A satirical steel boot stomping down on ideological cowardice.

A home for those who outgrew emotional clickbait and can handle words that hit like a brick of truth to the face.

❌ What This Blog Is NOT

A hug box

A gender circle-jerk

A virtue-signaling farm

A safe space for bad ideas

An apology tour

Or a place to earn internet forgiveness for having a spine

If you’re looking for an “ally,” go outside and ally yourself with a blade of grass. This blog is for mental adults only.

🧠 My IQ Isn’t the Point — It’s What I Do With It

Plenty of people are “smart.” Few know how to use that intelligence like a scalpel and a molotov at the same time.

I don’t flex academic degrees. I flex consequence-based thinking.

I don’t cite studies unless they cut cleanly through your fantasy. I don’t “debate.” I perform intellectual amputations and meme the remains.

👁️ Why I Write Like This

Because truth doesn’t beg. It burns. It ruins dinner parties. It kills weak conversations. It shakes entire identity scaffolds.

Because feminism stopped being about equality years ago. Because men are bleeding in silence while the world tells them to “man up” and “shut up.”

Because emotional blackmail dressed as activism needs to be mocked into extinction. Because if I don’t say it, 10,000 men will keep swallowing their rage while pretending they’re fine.

This blog is their voice — said with the volume, venom, and verbal finesse they were taught to suppress.

🛑 Rules of Engagement

You are welcome here if you:

Think critically

Laugh at chaos

Can handle full sentences

Don’t confuse discomfort with harm

You are NOT welcome if you:

Use “-phobic” every time you feel wrong

Think tone is violence

Confuse identity with immunity

Start sentences with “as a…” and expect reverence

Believe truth is whatever makes you cry the least

⚖️ LEGAL: I’m Protected. You’re Just Loud.

All content is protected under U.S. free speech law, academic commentary, and satirical cultural criticism doctrine. You don’t have to like it — but you can’t do a damn thing about it. Want me banned? Try harder. Want me silenced? Bring facts, not feelings. Until then? You are just another screenshot waiting to happen.

��� If You’re Still Reading… Congrats.

You have enough awareness to realize:

Not everything that offends you is dangerous.Not everything that comforts you is true.

That makes you rare. And if you’re smart enough to get this far, dangerous.

Welcome to the tribe. 🦁

💣 TL;DR (For the ADHD-crippled)

Smart. Brutal. Free. Don’t like it? There’s the block button. The algorithm still remembers me.

🔗 You just read the mind. Now pick your side.

Share it. Bookmark it. Or block it.

🧠 Truth doesn’t beg. It burns.

[untypicable]

Why Does My Microwave Have Wi-Fi?

In the not-so-distant past, microwaves were simple creatures. You pushed a button, turned a dial, or maybe pressed a few overly sensitive touchpads, and voilà—hot food. But modern microwaves, like much of today’s technology, have evolved far beyond their humble origins. Now, they boast features like Wi-Fi connectivity, voice activation, and apps that can supposedly “enhance your cooking…

[goodluckclove]

Author Ask Tag?!

hey @goldfinchwrites tagged me in a thing! cool! thanks, man! i'll use this as an opportunity to share a little bit about one of two projects i plan to work on starting in march while I wait for migration patterns to be beta'd. i'm playing around with an episodic radio show-style series that i'm calling sunderland forever.

What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it?

so sunderland forever centers around the end of the world, seen through multiple, perhaps unconnected individuals. starting in portland, oregon, reality has started burning away. it started with a small black hole hanging in midair, seen in an abandoned lot near the columbia river. but it's slowly growing. and there are rumors of additional "cue marks" as some call them being found in other parts of the city. places that touch the cue mark as it expands are suddenly wiped from memory, even if they haven't yet been fully eaten by the void. the same goes for people - maybe.

there's nothing anyone can do. no one's really reacting in a way that makes sense. it's more mundane than anyone would ever expect from the end of the world.

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?

smart writer answer: I was fascinated by what I've read so far of Christopher Brown's A Natural History of Empty Lots. Portland is a city with it's fair share of abandoned structures - some spent years in limbo before suddenly being vanished into vacant concrete and gravel seemingly overnight.

We also have a lot of living things we either struggle to understand or choose to push aside entirely. Sunderland, a semi-industrial neighborhood in Portland, has been home to an RV Safe space for unhoused individuals to get their vehicles off the street and congregate for easier access to crucial services. This park, built to be temporary, is set to close at the end of March to give space for the Bureau of Transportation to store maintenance equipment. Despite plans for a new RV park opening nearby, the entire situation reads as an odd reshuffling of a very prominent problem.

You wouldn't think it would be so easy to avoid a 25k-square foot building, much less a growing population of human beings. And yet it happens so often. So it's an intriguing concept to explore what it looks like when reality starts taking over the forgotten, much like how nature takes back an abandoned structure. What does that look like, and what - if anything - changes when the forgotten is no longer our decision?

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, or help the reader grow as a person?

honest writer answer: i've missed writing scripts and this seems like a cool way to get back into that. you can also do more with radio plays, despite the obvious limitations. this concept is like kind of satire and it's potentially more timely than i'd prefer. but i'd still be aiming for a sort of dark absurdism akin to eugene ionesco's play rhinoceros.

uh but no one's trying to achieve anything. if they do try it might not really work. that's kind of the point. reality is literally burning away in a way so unfathomable that most people eventually have to shift focus and keep on going to work and taking care of their children or whatever.

i don't have a lesson. i don't have anything i'm trying to prove. it just seems like a cool concept to explore.

How many chapters is your story going to have?

chapters = episodes

episode length = maybe like twenty minutes? definitely one-act length.

answer = who fucking knows

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

original concept! it'll probably be on soundcloud or something. maybe my patreon. wherever i post it it'll be free.

When did you start writing?

writing anything? twelve. i wrote a 10k novella. wrote my first novel at thirteen. wrote and produced my first script at sixteen. published at - eighteen, i think?

wrote this? i haven't. i'm still percolating and reading to develop different concepts. i have till end of february to finish migration patterns and then i can switch gears.

Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?

write a lot. don't be afraid of failure. you're going to fail, that's part of the thing. failure in art doesn't look the same as it does in life unless your failure is also an act of public bigotry or literal crime. write a lot. like, write something right now. be indulgent and weird and too into your material. get comfortable with a silent reception because in original fiction you're going to have a lot of it and it's fine. enjoy what you do. also take breaks and live life so you can enjoy that too.

uh i'll tag some cool folks that are also wonderful writers you should groove on!

@mushroommanchanterelle (his lore drops on penumbra lately have been legit wild)

@xarrixii (flash/burn is fantastic it has been such a wonderful confusion having to engage with a serial that isn't finished yet)

@afyerarchive

@holfelderwrites124

@fenmere

(i know there are more of you but i'm trying to think of people i'm pretty confident have active projects. if you have one also just get in on this you are tagged too! tag you're it!!)

[tigermousse]

Particles of reality: Obsession

genre: dark, yandere, otome, crime, supernatural, NSFW

Not all stories have happy endings…especially this one.

I have a feeling this visual novel has done some permanent damage to my mental health, but I'm not regretting reading it.

!Please note: This game is for mature audience only!

Particles of reality: obsession is dealing with very dark themes including gore, extreme violence, torture, sexual and mental abuse. It has graphic depiction of consensual and un-consensual sex (including sex between minors and sex between siblings). List of triggers for each path is enormous and it was pretty hard to read through some paths. There are options to hide some content, but even with "lower violence" filter it was gruesome enough. Like Monika, I hate the violence, but I was too interested in characters to skip everything.

Monica is studying medicine in college and working at the cafe Luna to pay her bills. She has two close friends and a bunch of phobias, since she is a traumatized young woman with a troubled past. Monika hoped to separate from her family by enrolling to a college. But now she's stuck on a dead-end job, feeling claustrophobic in a small crappy apartment, also failing her studies and doubting her choice to be a doctor.

This is the time when in her life appears a tall handsome man, who has a strange interest in her. But the story unraveled…

Particles of Reality is a macabre satire on dark romance, where relationship with violent people are romanticized, - and otome games, in which every character falls in love with a MC no matter how plain, or dull she is.

It is a splendid idea to show in visual novel that relationship with obsessive people can only cause you pain, but still overall it was a depressing experience for me. I can not recommend this game, but it has a highest rating from me, because it is unique and memorable. All the characters are either traumatized or just pleasurably insane.

You are warned from the beginning that there are no happy endings in this novel. In those few where main characters at least don't die, Monica is still can not be happy because she's feeling trapped.

It makes sense, because it shows that with the characters like these, who are obsessed (and sometimes possessed), there can be no happy ending. They're traumatized, violent and mentally unstable. It is said that in Obsession the characters are the worst possible versions of themselves.

After a while it is getting too frustrating that no matter what you do the game finds its way to punish you. The characters are making very stupid mistakes and decisions - and you can do nothing about it but watch. Also sometimes the game is forcing you to read a lot of information that you already learn from other routes. I can see why it was hard to avoid, but still it was too much unnecessary reading.

The structure of visual novel is unique - it has additional unlockable content for each character that helps to look further in their past or shows their point of view on the story. At some points the story is breaking the forth wall.

Nice touch that choices that doesn't affect the ending, are clearly marked.

Still after reading everything including the secret character routes, the story still has more questions then answers - and feels incomplete. The secret route was more confusing then revealing.

CHARACTERS

MC Monika Viotto (name changeable, but I don't see why someone would like to relate to this MC more, so I left it as it is)

My diagnosis: Post-traumatic stress disorder + Dependent personality disorder

For me, Monika is a bit annoying. She's is your our typical otome MC - she is kind, shy, not very smart with average looks (though I think that she looks pretty cute). Because she was abused and neglected at home since childhood, Monika developed some phobias like nyctophobia and claustrophobia.

She says that she hates violence, but in each route she's attracted to violent people - probably that is the route of all the problems. In some paths she even shows a violent streak that she probably has (probably that is why she resents violence - because she knows she can have it in her too). Her family is mafia and though she wants to get away from them so bad, the violence in her household probably couldn't left her intact. However usually Monika is absolutely oblivious to everything happening around her. Sometimes she can stand for herself, but these moments of clarity happen usually too late.

Who she is now is a result of her traumatized past, but also we can see that she's really passive and co-dependent since young age. She can't decide for herself (and when she is, she's deciding badly), she's not trying to learn something new, she doesn't understand her feelings and is not good with people. She's not good with anything really. Though she doesn't lack empathy and sincerely grieving loss of those who are close to her.

Sometimes she can be funny and snappy, but not often. She is more self-assured and interesting in some "what if" scenarios and in some branches in Brandon's route.

Love interests (SPOILER ALERT)

Which one do you have in mind?

None of the characters are mentally healthy. Some are aware of this fact, the others aren't. There is almost no romance, except maybe for the Sebastian route (which is my least favorite). There are some sex scenes though.

Each route starts differently and has slight time difference, but except for the Brandon's route, the circumstances in these are very similar.

Sebastian Dallarosa

My diagnosis: Narcissistic personality disorder (?) Also typical yandere

Sebastian is tall, rich and handsome. Probably smart too. He's meeting MC on the street, saving her life from a car accident, and then taking care for her when she is getting sick. But something is not right about him. Or is it?

He's in love with MC since they were children. It was love at first sight, and now he believes that Monika is his soulmate - and he wants her no matter what.

Dallarosa is a mafia family too, like Viotto, but several years ago Sebastian and his twin brother refused to take over the family business - and it seems that Sebastian put all his effort to get Monika Viotto, because it is the only thing that he wanted - ever.

Sebastian is probably the favorite character of the developer, because his route is longest, plus he's appearing in every other route and in most branches. He has the most CG's. And I really hate him. Either because he's triggering something from my past, or because he is so sure of himself. He is the only one with almost no regrets or remorse. He thinks that his "love" justifies everything he's doing. I hate how he doesn't give Monika a chance to decide for herself, how much he's suffocating her, how he manipulates her. He doesn't care at all what she thinks, for he has her image in his head for a long time, and he doesn't care what Monika is like for real. He shows in all the routes, and in each one he's madly in love with Monika.

When you start the game, Sebastian's route is the first you have to finish at least once, and for some time his route is pretty romantic. He says nice things to MC, dotting around her, telling her what she would like to hear. But when things unravel, he shows his true violent and/or manipulative self.

The best part of Sebastian's route was Alexander. He seems much more sane (Maybe that is because he doesn't has his own route yet)

Julian Andrei

My diagnosis: Dissociative identity disorder

Julian is working with Monika in a Cafe Luna. He seems rude at first, but otherwise he is funny and always ready to help a damsel in distress. Except he has a strange habit of vanishing for several days once a month. What does he hides?

In Julian's route Monika has a crush on him when they first meet, and in other routes it is other way around. Julian in his route is the most different from himself in other routes, except Brandon's DLC. Because in most routes he is just a friend and co-worker of Monika, and doesn't show his violent streak, also he's pretty weak and can't stand himself against other characters. However we know from his route that he should be experienced in killing people, so it is strange that he's always trying to rescue MC unprepared. (I guess it is one of frustrating features which lead MC to unavoidable bad ends).

Julian is in constant conflict with himself - because he has a split personality, which seems to have a mind of its own.

As for the core personality, and not the worst version of himself, I like Julian very much. He is funny, honest and noble in his own way - and trying to do his best. I don't mind his complaining and self-consciousness.

Quinn Deidre

My diagnosis: Borderline personality disorder

Quinn is gender-fluid non-binary person. And also they are the most normal character. They are a ball of sunshine. Funny, active, kind, caring, creative. But they're trying too hard to get attention that they are forgetting what is good for themselves. Quinn definitely have BPD, and it is pretty accurate portrait of this disorder. Given their traumatic past, it is not strange that Quinn has it. Their family is fundamentally religious and they always felt that they don't belong at home. So they're looking hard for the place where they belong.

Meeting Monika as a roommate, Quinn is falling in love with her non-judgemental attitude. But of course, they can't stand to her other suitors. (Brandon strangely accepts Quinn)

Quinn is really sweet. His bad ends are pretty sad, because they mostly end with him hurting himself.

Brandon Viotto (free DLC)

My diagnosis: Antisocial personality disorder (Psychopath)

Due to the themes of incest and underage sex (also extreme violence, but Steam is OK with it), Brandon's route is not accessible in the base game and can be downloaded as a free DLC (optionaly, because for some people this route can be too fucked up.)

Brandon's route is a history route: it begins when Monika was five, and all events in all branches are happening earlier than the beginning of Sebastian's, Julian's or Quinn's routes. You don't need to read through this route to finish the game and open secret character, but it is giving better view of Monika's personality in other routes, also after reading it, I hated Sebastian a tiny bit less.

Brandon is Monika's older brother. He's just a year older than she, but since the early childhood they were raised differently. Brandon was the favorite child, Mama's golden boy, he was given best teachers and was combat training to become the head of the family (Don). And Monika was neglected, harshly punished for all tiny mistakes, given little to no education. Most of the time their parents didn't pay any attention to her at all. Luciana Viotto is a powerful, cunning and cruel woman, and Antonio Viotto seems totally indifferent to everything that is happening in his family, until it becomes too late.

Things doesn't add up here - while Monika as a mafia princess was prepared to arranged marriage if nothing else, she probably had at least attend different social events to meet important people, but she didn't. Otherwise she would be just a disgrace of a mafia family (which she obviously become, when she went to a college, living in a worst district of a town and working for a minimal wedge)

Since tender age Brandon was trained to be a merciless killer. And while his first kills brought him tears and nightmares, later he started to enjoy killing and torturing people. Now he is hungry for power and control. And the only one he cares about is his sister. Monika.

Since they were children, Brandon always tried to defend Monika from their abusive mother. They grew very close, because they always had to depend onto each other and didn't have anyone else. Monika needed Brandon because he always came to her rescue and Brandon need his sister, because she appeals to what left of human in him. She is still his moral compass after years of killings.

When he was about 15 year of age, Brandon felt that he his feeling for Monika is not completely brotherly.

After some time of his doubts and regrets, they've became lovers, when Monika was still 14 y.o. They both knew that incest is wrong, depending on the branch, they're having more or less doubts about it.

In most scenarios revealed that when Monika was 16, she attended school, where she has met a boy and started dating him. But Brandon was furious and beat the guy so bad that he couldn't recover. Monica hasn't talked to Brandon since then, until she decided to go to college where she begins all other routes.

Brandon is the one who sees the best in Monika

I do not justify the incest, I've never understood it either. But given all the circumstances in this novel I think in Particles of Reality, Brandon is still the best choice for Monika. Maybe I'm prejudiced, because despite of everything , I liked him too much since demo. He's the only one who will never hurt her willingly, she can trust him completely and he's the one who accepts and understands her as she is.

The thing I like about Brandon the most is that he is the only one whose personality doesn't change a bit in all the routes and branches. I'm afraid that is because he's the least favorite boy for the developer, but still he doesn't pretend. Also he's the only one who is changing through his route - for worse, but still.

He is extremely violent, and doesn't hide that he is enjoying killing people, but it seems that he can have his doubts and regrets about everything that concerning Monika. (Nevertheless he still thought and done disgusting things)

He is also very smart, with a dark sense of humor, but I always felt that Monika can depend on him. With him she is safe, but he can go too far to secure her.

I can't rate any of the characters, since they're shown as the worst versions of themselves. As for their "core personality", I like Sebastian the least, because I can't find any of his personality outside of his obsession. As for secret character, his purpose in this novel seems only for breaking forth wall, so it is hard to say something about him for now.

Overall:

Visual: 4/5

Story: 4/5

Characters: 5/5

Romance: 2/5

Originality: 5/5

My Rating: 5/5

(I can't recommend it to anyone, since it is very dark and not for everyone, but also couldn't give it less than 5 stars, because I'm sure that this game has a powerful impact on every person who has read it)

You can get this visual novel by Arewar on Steam or on itch.io

[ohhxdile]

can you write something with Patrick bateman pls!! it doesnt have to be serious i want the reader to be like totally stupid, it can be satire if u want!

no nsfw please i just want him to brutally murder me

thank you ily🫶🫶🫶

Double-face ♯ OS

Pairing; Patrick Bateman x Reader

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WC: 703 Summary: Your friend Patrick came to visit your house, clueless you invite him in. Warnings: Mention of murder, manipulation, creep, dumb reader, Patrick being cocky and weird A/N: i'm sorry bestie that i'm so late for your request but here it is finally! ! !

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You walked around your room, couldn’t think of anything else than Patrick. His way of talking, thinking and his looks hypnotized me. People didn’t get along with this man easily, but off the bat you had liked his weird way of approaching you. Never denied him or judged him.

You bite onto your lower lip waiting for the sound of the car tires and loud motor noise of it. A knock on your door could be heard, and you left the spot where you were and ran to the door, swinging it open. You were met with his smiling and enthusiastic face. Your hands held tightly to the door knob, palms sweating and not knowing what to say nor to do. He let himself in without any problem and walked around.

“I must say, the house is pretty clean” He looked at the shelf of books and plants. You smiled behind him, loving his compliment and presence in your home. You were met with his face again, arms behind his back. “You know why I’m here, right?” Confusion was written all over your face, the question didn’t seem to lead anywhere, so you sat on your couch. He walked fast behind, following you onto the couch. He pulled something from his trousers pockets and pulled a key. “See this key?” You nodded and followed it with your eyes, “It’s a key to many secrets and depth, just like my heart” He held the key to his heart, enhancing the dramatic act upon this small object. “It must be very important to you” He nodded, putting it away and sighing. “You’re the only one that understands my words, my analogy. I like you”

You had turned on the TV, so the atmosphere would be embarrassing with you two not talking and just staring at each other, Patrick hasn’t said anything for a while, just looking straight ahead. He wasn’t much of a talker, he sometimes had many amazing tales to tell, but today wasn’t it. You never blamed him for that nothing quite extraordinary happened your way, too. The TV was a great alternative so we could both watch something together and find a subject to start a conversation.

The channel that we were on was casting a woman who was explaining her paranormal house, that she might think was haunted. Patrick chuckled, amused by her stupidity and worries. “Who fucking believes that shit, huh?” You knew that he was smart and knew everything, you would never try to oppose to his opinions. “Women like her would get killed eventually from saying such insanity on Television” His words felt average, as if it was normal to say that, they did in fact sound cocky, but It came from him. You couldn’t believe that Patrick had something more sinister in mind to what he said earlier, even though during his speech he looked straight at your face and not the woman. 

“It’s getting pretty dark outside darling” You looked through your curtains, you haven’t noticed the time passing with his presence by your side. You got up and offered him his coat. He took it, slowly wearing it. “It was nice having you” You spoke, cheeks heating up from timidness, and he chuckled. “I really enjoyed it. I did” His hands were raised in front of me to amplify his gratitude, eyes looking around your home. “Add a tint of red, blood-red to your walls, they would look hypnotizing” You looked around the room and noticed just now the emptiness of color, you mentally noted that and went to get your keys to open the door. “A great pleasure to see my favorite person today” 

You didn’t know that day Patrick had murdered someone that worked with you earlier before meeting you, you haven’t noticed his stained shoes and his bloody fingernails. Befriending him made you dumb, unaware of your surroundings, and clearly he took that onto account, and played with it. He wouldn’t murder you, couldn’t dare. He would keep you as his priced rare jewel, killing his fun would be disappointing. Coming to your home unexpected was a right move, memorizing the house by heart and knowing what his next motive would be.

[msfbgraves]

Outside of Daniel and Terry who were great as always, this was a truly terrible season, THE worst lol.

Johnny was truly horrible with his "suPpoRt DeVoN aND mIGgy dUriNG thIS DiFficULt time" but never did ANYTHNG to support HIS OWN SON. Like, he did NOTHING FOR ROBBY. Robby is struggling so badly and has no one to turn to and his OWN DAD is like "lOl roBbY wHooO???" Johnny is a terrible character and has been gaslighting himself and everyone else from SEASON 1! FUCK Johnny!

They ruined Chozen in every way by making him into this drunk, boorish loser who randomly hooks up with the enemy (another flat, annoying character and another poorly written female character). Chozen was so OOC I felt like I was watching badly written fanfic come to life. What the FUCK! I am so sorry, Chozen. You deserved so much better.

Kreese was just plain embarrassing, my god. Every time he was on screen I cringed. He should have died in S5 and I stand by that. Everything he did was mortifying and humiliating. He is way too old to be acting the fool. He needs to be in a retirement home having angry dreams.

Robby...LOL. The writers said fuck you! we don't care about you AT ALL lol! and then he got supremely fucked by the narrative in every single way. God. And of course NO SCENES with him and Daniel because flawed as Daniel was, he did so much for Robby--way more than Johnny ever did for him. Daniel and Robby had wonderful chemistry and the writers are so scared of that.

The Sekai Taikai is boring and overlong and just ridiculous in every way. All the new characters are dull, flat, and have incredibly forced and tropy "chemistry" with the OG characters. They are the definition of Shonen Manga Stock Bullies. They're like parodies of character tropes at this point. If someone told me CK6 was satire, I would have believed them.

S6: Let's make Daniel have an emotional breakdown again because why not hahahaha! BTW, Johnny is cool and perfect and a REAL MAN! BE LIKE HIM!!111!1 Johnny is absolutely not wrong ever, but Daniel is evil and flawed and ALWAYS wrong OF COURSE1!111!!

Annoying little brat Devon gets a pep talk from Johnny (another huge LMAO!!!) and gets away scot free with all she's done?? While Kenny still has to deal with the bullying he'll surely face back home?? What the fuck?

Carmen...DEAR GOD. This is the woman who raised a sweet kid by herself in a new country. She learned a new language, escaped from a terrible man, built a career and took really good care of both her mom and her boy. And then she, responsible, smart, kind Carmen--gets knocked up by a deadbeat, drunk loser who has held a grudge over a high school karate tournament for 30+ YEARS, blames everyone (especially poor Daniel who is his personal punching bag) but himself for how shitty his own life is, doesn't have a proper career or a steady job AT 50+ YEARS OLD, is in and out of trouble constantly, behaves like every negative stereotype of Ugly American even while IN the States, gets (Carmen's) son in trouble, does shit all for his own son, and...THIS IS THE MAN CARMEN GETS KNOCKED UP BY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Carmen, who WORKS IN HEALTHCARE and has ACCESS TO BIRTH CONTROL!!!!! You cannot make this shit up!!!!!!!

This show is truly garbage. It was excellent in S1 and S2, I thoroughly enjoyed S3, S4 and S5 were Karate Star Wars and got stupid (but still entertaining) and S5 it should have ended, peaking with the relationship between Terry and Daniel and the death of Kreese. S6 is embarrassing and cringe.

The best parts were TERRY FUCKING SILVER who is played with such devastating charm and skill by Thomas that you can't help but love him. And he's hot as fuck so there's that too!

Daniel is of course hated by the writers, but that doesn't take away from the fact that HE'S BEEN RIGHT FROM THE START OF THIS FUCKING SHOW and he's a good, kind, sweet, hardworking man who happens to have a quick temper, can be prone to hot-headedness, and be (gasp) less than perfect. Of course, for these oh-so-terrible sins, he must be punished and also constantly fucked by the narrative. Jokes on them, because Daniel can be proven to be right and correct 95% of the time, and remains a decent, good man who can admit when he's wrong (UNLIKE CERTAIN BLOND FUCKS).

I'm just here for Terry and Daniel!

Cobra Kai S6 is a fever dream of how a middle aged man with the emotional range of a young teenage boy would WANT the world to work, not how any human being would reasonably behave. Many men have written stories like this over the centuries and have been called geniuses; many women have written their versions - like Twilight - and have been called airheads, but anyway, it's all pure id at this point. I keep saying that TIG meanwhile writes his own part before signing on, because somehow I keep finding nuances in his character, like a compulsion to repeat his trauma with cages and a deep aversion to killing (which is interesting because I really do wonder what he meant to do to Kreese if not kill him).

You do have to give it to them that there are moments of awe inspiring insanity sprinkled throughout.