untypicable

[untypicable]

The Neurotypical Vanishing Act: Or, How to Become Socially Radioactive in One Diagnosis

There are many ways to clear a room. Shouting “fire,” for example. Or announcing you’ve brought quiche to a barbecue. But perhaps the most effective—yet tragically underrated—method is this: tell people you’re autistic. It’s magical, really. You can watch in real time as a person rearranges their entire facial expression into something they hope says “totally fine and supportive” but…

[untypicable]

The Passive-Aggressive Politics of Calendar Invites

At first glance, a calendar invite seems like the simplest of workplace tools. You pick a time, type in a title, and send it off into the void. Done. Organised. Efficient. But anyone who’s worked in an office longer than a week knows that the calendar invite is not a neutral instrument. It is loaded. A digital power play. A subtle act of warfare dressed up in timestamps and agenda bullet points.…

[untypicable]

The Tyranny of Eye Contact: A Neurodivergent Field Guide

There’s a very specific kind of eye contact that says: “I read somewhere this is what humans do.” It’s intense. It’s slightly off. It’s me, in most work meetings, accidentally fixing my gaze on someone’s left eyebrow for so long they start to visibly sweat. I didn’t mean to. I was just trying to look “normal.” The irony, of course, is that in trying to pass as socially competent, I’ve somehow…

[untypicable]

Leftovers and Lanyards: A Conference Catering Mystery

I first noticed it during the lunch break of a perfectly normal academic conference. The kind with lanyards, tote bags, and a programme that uses the word “dialogic” more times than is strictly legal. The morning sessions had left us dazed: a blur of acronyms, half-declared paradigms, and PowerPoint transitions that felt like personal attacks. As the final panel chair announced, “Lunch is now…

[untypicable]

Motionless in the Dark: A Lavatorial Mystery

It began, as all tragedies do, with optimism. Colin from Accounts had just eaten an uninspiring Pret wrap and wandered to the office loo—armed with his phone, a sense of entitlement, and the noble dream of five undisturbed minutes. The world outside could wait. Emails could rot. He had entered that sacred temple of beige tiles and uncomfortable echoes to answer nature’s call, ideally at his own…

[untypicable]

The Sociology of Small Talk – Or, Why We All Hate Asking About the Weather

Ah, small talk. That peculiar social ritual where we pretend to care about things we definitely don’t care about. Whether it’s weather updates from someone standing right next to you or the obligatory “How was your weekend?” in the office kitchen, small talk feels like society’s default mode – a kind of conversational screensaver that kicks in when real topics crash. Why Do We Do…

[untypicable]

Why Does Your Car Sometimes Seem Like It’s Sighing When You Sit in It?

There’s a moment, just as you lower yourself into the driver’s seat, when your car makes a noise. It’s a faint, weary sort of sound, somewhere between a creak and a resigned exhale. You might mistake it for the compression of the seat cushions or the gentle settling of old springs, but I have come to believe that this is, in fact, your car sighing. I know this sounds unlikely. Ridiculous,…

[untypicable]

An Open Letter to the People Who Leave One Sheet on the Toilet Roll

Dear Bog Roll Bandit, Let’s begin with the basics. You know who you are. You’ve walked into the loo, seen that cardboard tube spinning on by with a single sheet of paper hanging on for dear life—and thought to yourself, “That’ll do.” No, it won’t. That one square isn’t helpful, it’s taunting us. It flaps there like a tiny white flag of passive-aggressive defiance, and quite frankly, I’m…

[untypicable]

Can You Be a Woke Nazi? Unpacking the Internet’s Dumbest Oxymoron

The phrase drifted across the pub like stale lager mist: “He’s a proper woke Nazi, mate.” Said with the conviction of someone who believes shouting louder makes things truer. It was one of those moments where time stands still and your brain briefly forgets how to process language. A “woke Nazi”? That’s not a political label—it’s a cognitive collision. Like calling someone a vegan butcher, or…

[untypicable]

Am I Autistic, or Am I Really a Cat?

In a world obsessed with identity labels, personality quizzes, zodiac signs, and spending 45 minutes choosing between 300 varieties of oat milk, a simple question haunts me: am I autistic, or am I really just a cat? Stick with me. It’s not as daft as it sounds. (Or perhaps it is, but that’s very on-brand for untypicable.) After all, stranger things have happened. Somewhere right now, there’s…

[untypicable]

Is It Possible to Fail a CAPTCHA Test So Badly You Lose Your Right to Be Human?

There comes a moment, usually when you’re just trying to do something innocuous—buy cinema tickets, log into your electricity provider, order yet another thing you absolutely don’t need—when the internet decides it needs proof you’re not a robot. Enter the CAPTCHA test. “Please confirm you’re not a robot,” it asks, in that passive-aggressive tone only computers can manage. Of course I’m not a…

[untypicable]

Do Chairs Have Consciousness? (And Are They Judging Us?)

It’s not something you usually question, is it? You see a chair, you sit in it, and you think no more of the encounter. It is, on the surface, the simplest relationship imaginable: human needs comfort, chair provides. A quiet, unremarkable transaction between man and furniture. But lately — and I’ll admit it may be too much time spent alone with my own thoughts — I have begun to wonder whether…

[untypicable]

Sociology Gone Wild: Theories So Bizarre They Might Actually Explain Everything

1. Phrenology: Measuring Morals One Bump at a Time Phrenology, once the life coach of 19th-century pseudoscience, was the belief that the shape of your skull could reveal everything about you—from your aptitude for needlework to your likelihood of becoming a highwayman. Franz Joseph Gall believed the brain was composed of “organs” controlling specific traits like benevolence, destructiveness,…

[untypicable]

Why Are Crisp Bags So Full of Air? The Snack-Sized Deception Explained

There’s a moment most days—somewhere between the last gulp of coffee and the grim slide toward dinner—where the craving hits. A little crunch, a savoury fix. Something nostalgic. Something reassuring. A crisp. You reach into the cupboard, filled with the eager joy of a child at a pick ‘n’ mix counter. The packaging crackles with promise. It’s puffed up, perfectly sealed, and strangely warm…

[untypicable]

Yolks and Hierarchies: The Great Eggonomic Divide

The great Easter sugarstorm has passed. Crumpled foil glints beneath the sofa like the detritus of a deeply middle-class bacchanalia. Somewhere, a toddler is attempting to barter half a Mini Egg for more screen time. But as sociologists — or at least people pretending to be until someone asks us about statistics — we must ask: What does Easter chocolate truly represent? To put it plainly:…

[untypicable]

The Forgotten Olympics: Competitive Napping and Other Events That Should Exist

Every four years, the world stops to marvel at feats of athletic prowess: people running faster than seems biologically sensible, somersaulting through the air with a grace that suggests an unfortunate deal with gravity, and lifting weights so heavy they could double as mid-sized hatchbacks. But amidst the sweat, the medals, and the national anthems, there lies a glaring oversight: where, pray…

[untypicable]

How to Convince Yourself You’ve Been Productive Without Actually Doing Anything

Productivity is a state of mind—or at least that’s what we tell ourselves after spending an entire day colour-coding our calendar, rearranging pens, and opening tabs we have no intention of reading. In a world where hustle culture is worn like a badge of honour and even naps are being marketed as “productive rest,” it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind if you’re not launching a side…